#id suggest not mentioning who the character is or where theyre from tho if theyre from some popular thing

[superbellsubways]

ooooooooghhhhh ever since you had that flav plush made i wanna comm a plush of my own fav Lil Guy,,,, aughhhhhhh i mightttttt

def go for it whenever you have the money to!

[kendrixtermina]

Further reactions to "The book of lost tales":

I appreciate that Idril canonically wears armor and does swordfighting.

I feel like I can actually imagine adult!Idril much better now like in armor and with open hair, distraught but ready to fight while babby Earendil does not yet realize the danger...

My first thought is that Earendil was probably cute in that baby chainmail. My second thought is OUCH, Idril and Tuor always made sure their growing baby had fitting chainmail cause they felt the apocalypse might get them at any moment. Imagine that, imagine them having the baby armor fitted every year or so :(

Its fun how much of the basic structure already exists but most of what you'd consider the main characters doesn't exist or is scattered across various minor roles The only Prince anywhere in sight is Turgon - Except for Team Doriath, theyre all accounted for. I suppose Maeglin is kinda there in name only with vaguely the same role & motivation, but looks personality and background all did a 180 since. Luthien is still pretty much "princesd classic" at this point, not quite the fearless go-getter from the final version - markedly this version tells Beren that she doesnt want to wander in the wilderness with him whereas the final one says she doesnt care and its Beren still wants to get the shiny so as not to ask this of her and also for his honor.

I mean in the finished version Id consider the 3rd and 4th gen royals to be the main characters (well, alobgside Team Doriath and the varioud human heroes) and theyre hardly here. Imagine the silm with no Finrod!

Feanor had no affiliation with the royal family whatsoever, and is also generally less super. He's just the guy who won the jewelsmithing competition, not the inventor of the whole discipline. Still seems to have been envisionad as a respected member of the community who gets called to the palace for crisis meetings and is listened to when he stsrts giving speeches. From the first he already has the backstory of going off the deep end (or at least growing disillusioned with Valinor) after a family member is killed by Melkor and theyre still the first to die, but its just some other rando unrelated to the royals

The situation regarding the humans is different - instead of Melkor leaking their existence, its Manwe who explains that the other continents were supposed to be for them eventually. So Feanor goes off on a tirade about weak puny mortals comes off as a more of a jerk unlike in the final version where Melkor barely knew about the humans and described them to the Noldor as a threat. On the other hand in this one, also very much unlike in the finished product, Melkor dupes even Manwe into being unfair to the elves as a whole. In this the final version is a definite improvement, both Feanor and the Valar come off as a lot more sympathetic and though still deceived he's partially right in some things at least, so you have more of a genuine tragedy rather than a simple feud

There is something to the idea of Commoner!Feanor tho. I guess some of this survived in his nomadic explorer lifestyle and how both his wife and mother (who arent mentioned here) eventually were the ones to get that background of being not especially pretty ladies who are not from the nobility but got renown, respect and acclaim for their unique talent and contribution to society, with each having invented things and Nerdanel also being renowed for her wisdom. Hes sort of an odysseus-like Figure in that sense. I suppose later developements necesitated that Maedhros & co. have an army not just a band of thieves, which means they needed to be nobles/lords. That said this being a society where artisans are very respected and half the lords have scholarly/artistic pursuits going, the gap was probably not as big to begin with as it might have been in say, medieval England. Esoecially since Nerdanel's father had been given special honor by one of the local deities and that the social order might have been a very recent thing in Miriel's time. One might speculate that the first generation of Lords started out as warriors during the great journey, or perhaps just Finwe's friend group.

Also found that bit intetesting where the Valar have to deal with the remaining political tensions and effects of Melkor's lies on the remaining population in Valinor... - i guess with the change of framing device it was less likely for news of something like this to reach Beleriand. That, or the existence of Finarfin and his repentance made this go smoother this over in later cannon

Turgon's go-down-with-the-ship moment reaaly got to me. Im half tempted to write a fic where his wife, siblings and dad glomp him on arrival in Mandos. I dont care that none of them exists yet in this continuity i want Turgon to get hugs

I love all the additional Detail that got compressed out in the shift from fairytale-ish to pseudohistoric style especially all the various Valinor magic insofofar as it is compatible with the final version - particularly love the idea of the connection between the lamps and the trees that is now integrated into my headcanon forever

Its actually explained what the doors of night are

If I had not already read unfinished tales or volumes X to XII where this is also apparent, this is where I would say: Ah so the Valar were supposed to be flawed characters. Manwe has an actual arc; by the time he sends Gandalf he finally "got" it. I think in the published silm the little arcs of Ulmo and Manwe are mostly just lost in compression/ less apparent when only some of the relevant scenes got in but not all

It occurred to me way too late that the "BG" chars are the most consistent because theyre at the start and most stories are written from beginning to end. Finwe doesnt get a dedicated paragraph of explicit description until HoME X but my takeaway was that he's described pretty much like I always imagined him anyways/ same vibe I always got from him... charismatic, thoughtful, enthusiastic, sanguine temperament, brave in a pinch but at times lets his judgement be clouded by personal sentiment (though that last bit is more apparent/salient as a character flaw once he became the father of a certain Problem Child) ...i guess this would be a result of jrrt having had a consistent idea of him in his head for a long time.

This means Finwe's still alive at the time of the exodus which is just fun to see/interesting to know... Interestingly he sort of gets what later would be Finarfin's part of ineffectually telling everxone to please chill and think it over first while Feanor simply shouts louder (which is consistent with his actions before the sword incident in later canon where he initially spoke out against the suspiciozs regarding the Valar) - but its not exactly the same, he's more active than Finarfin later in that when "chillax" availed nothing he said that then at least they should talk with the other Kings and Manwe to leave with their blessing and get help leaving (This seems like it would have been the clusterfuck preventing million dollar suggestion in the universe where Feanor is related to him and values him) but when even that falls on death ears he decides that he "would not be parted from his people" and went to run the preparations. I find it interesting that the motivation is sentiment/attachment (even phrased as "he would not be parted from [his people]" same words/ expression as is later used for the formenos situation), not explicitly obligation as it later is for Fingolfin (who had promised to follow Feanor and didnt want to leave his subjects at the mercy of Feanor's recklessness )

Speaking of problem children. It seems the sons of Feanor were the Kaworu Nagisa of the Silmarillion in that originally all they do is show up at some point and kill Dior as an episodic villain-of-the-week. And then, it seems their role got bigger in each continuity/rewrite... probably has something to do with the Silmarils ending up in the title later making it in the sense their story that ends and begins with them. They have zero characterization beyond "fierce and wild" at this point, though in what teetsy bits there is we already have the idea that Maedhros is the leader and Curufin is the smart one/shemer/sweet-talker, though not the bit where Maedhros (or Maglor, or anyone really) is "the nice one". Which I guess explains why "Maglor" sounds like such a stereotypical villain name.

"The Ruin of Doriath" was purportedly the patchworkiest bit of the finished product, but I never noticed and it actually left quite an impression of me upon first reading, the visual of Melian sitting there with Thingol's corpse in her arms contemplating everything thinking back to how they met... she had the knowledge to warn him not to doom himself but couldnt get him to understand it because he doesnt see the world as she does.... After reading this though I wish there was a 'dynamic' rendition that combined all the best bits like, youd have to adapt it to the later canon's rendition of the dwarves, have Nargothrond exist etc. But i mean that just makes Finrod another dead/doomed relative of Thingol's whom bling cannot truly replace, like Luthien and Turin. In the Silmarillion you could easily read it as just an "honoured guest treatment" but here and in unfinished tales I get the impression that Thingol actually did see Turin as a son.

Already you see the idea of trying to make the stories all interconnected but there is less than there will be (the human heroes aren't related yet and there is basically no Nargothrond, which is later a common thread for many of the stories - a prototype shows up in the 'Tale of Turambar' tho complete with half baked prototypes of Orodreth and Finduillas

O boi im not even through yet

[saints-row-2]

film watch day 31: Every Halloween Film

happy Halloween today i watched every Halloween film currently available to me. i couldnt get to rewatch Halloween 2018 but i already wrote about it a couple of weeks back so feel free to revisit that post. anyway, i watched ten Halloween movies today. It took around 17 hours. i started at 11:15am and im writing this now at 6 am.

so lets get to the post. for the most part i went in chronological order, except i chose to start with Rob Zombie’s remakes because i knew if i didnt id be finishing the day by watching them at the break of dawn and the idea of doing that was so fucking putrid to me that i decided to get them out of the way first.

Halloween (2007)

i hate this fucking movie. i mentioned in an ask the other day but im happy to repeat here, i dont hate the idea of expanding on Michael’s backstory. like the fact is we largely know his backstory, the issue is how this film chose to portray it. the original Halloween is frightening because its based around the idea that the seemingly safe, quiet suburbs are not as safe as they seem; you can be on a street youve known your entire life, only a few metres from your own home, and still at risk. the whole idea of showing Michael as a murderer when he was six is to tell us that anyone could be a threat, that our conventions that all killers are a particular kind of person is false.

Halloween 2007 says fuck that, we know what serial killers are, and theyre those poor kids who come from shitty neighbourhoods and have abusive parents and mothers who are sex workers. everything that Halloween brings to the table is fucking tedious, played out, and massively uninspired. it wants to bring us the truth about why Michael is like he is, but Rob Zombie’s only understanding of serial killers is in the cliche and exploitative. he has nothing honest about human nature to show us, only the exact same stories that have been fed to us by crime and horror movies past.

this film is incredibly loud and in fucking constant motion. even on steady shots of still scenes the camera constantly shakes, and in every other scene its always whirling around from tracking shot to panning over the scene to just idly zooming in and out of nothing. Zombie’s favourite shot is to have something large and out of focus in the foreground -- like some plants -- and to shoot the characters standing about six feet away muttering to themselves. every single fucking shot in this movie lingers too long, every scene drags a little longer than it needs to. this film moves with the pace that i would describe as “family guy gag”.

and this film is so loud. people are always talking or screaming, largely about nothing important or interesting. theres always music, but it never particularly adds anything; for reasons i fail to fucking understand the entirety of the original theme plays over mostly uninteresting tracking shots of a minor character walking around yelling filler lines about nothing.

the writing is horseshit. everyone in this film is vile, no one talks or behaves like real human beings. almost every exchange in this movie is the characters saying the exact same thing back and forth inanely, frequently punctuated by screaming FUCK as loudly as possible and talking about sex in a way that 40 year old men really really wished teenage girls talk about sex. Halloween (2007) is thoughtlessly gross and mean and nasty, disconnected from any kind of human sensitivity and empathy. it wants to be complicated and to be deep but its crushingly simplistic and stupid. the only thing that redeems it is that its not Halloween II (2009). speaking of which...

Halloween II (2009)

jesus christ this movie is so fucking boring. Halloween II is two hours long but feels like its about twenty hours long. i felt like i was watching this film for twenty days and twenty nights. i was trapped in an eternal purgatory with this movie.

i really cant fucking emphasise how boring this film is. endless scene after scene of nothing of consequence happening, uninteresting death scenes that add nothing, and Michael wandering around doing jack shit. Halloween II fucking made Michael Myers boring, and im saying this as someone who (as i repeat once every 8 seconds) has a tattoo of him. this film couldnt hold MY interest in two of my favourite characters of all time.

the big fun new addition from the first movie is the presence of Michael and Laurie’s mother as a kind of weird goth ghost guiding Michael to kill. i dont know why Michael had to be Jason Voorhees and be a mommy’s boy all of a sudden, but this addition brings absolutely nothing of interest to the film or to his character. its meant to be symbolic of fucking... something im sure, but it feels meaningless. somehow Michael and Laurie are both able to see and interact with this ghost and the ghost has an agenda to do... something? it feels about as intelligent and coherent as the bullshit cult of thorne shit from 6, but a lot less fun. at some point Michael Myers apparently has mind control powers?

not to repeat myself a hundred fucking times but this film is insanely unpleasant to watch. every scene someone is screaming, generally wailing “fuck you bitch” at anyone in their vicinity. this is two hours of people howling swear words at each other and not infrequently making rape jokes. Rob Zombie loves rape jokes! almost as much as he loves putting sexual assault in his movies over and over again for no reason.

there is nothing to enjoy in this film. theres nothing to gain. there is too much slow-mo and far too many strobe lights and absolutely nothing of any intelligence or grace. Halloween II is a thirteen year old boy in a korn T-shirt calling his mom a bitch while he draws zombies on  the back of his homework, which he will get an F for because the only thing he wrote was “reading is for faggots”.

Halloween (1978)

what the fuck can i say. this is one of the greatest horror movies ever made, if not the greatest. its one of my favourite movies. its forty years old and still just as chilling and frightening as it ever was. it has some shot composition and cinematography thats up with the best ive ever seen, all while being shot on a budget of $300,000. it does more with less than just about any film, launched the slasher genre, shot Jamie Lee Curtis to stardom and created a pop culture icon that stayed strong for decades. its a masterclass in tension and suspense, a lean-cut perfectly paced film with heaps of atmosphere and character.

i love this film with a frantic passion that makes me unable to talk about it in a particularly helpful way. i cant “review” Halloween. I love this film beyond reason and sense and you either get it or you dont.

Halloween II (1981)

Halloween II is largely one of the less remembered entries in the franchise; its a decent enough movie, neither matching up to the highs of the original or the lows of the later films. its a pretty enjoyable little film, created under the logic of ‘well the first one did well, lets do the same thing again’. Carpenter wrote the script but didn’t direct, and while the film has a solid story, the directing lacks his signature flair. its hard to pinpoint, because the film is generally fairly well-shot, but lacks a kind of eye for shot composition that Carpenter made look easy, doesnt have as much patience for suspense.

on its own merits, theres still some great shots and great scenes in the movie. and a lot of really cool kills; II got a lot more creative with what Michael was capable of, and i think the boiling water drowning kill is rightfully pretty infamous.

this was the last Halloween movie Carpenter wrote, and it was the film where the idea of Laurie and Michael being siblings was introduced. and believe me ill defend this fucking decision to the grave. adding the human connection between Michael and Laurie gives a whole other layer to their relationship thats so fascinating to me, and i love that other films try to expand on the themes of family. in general, deciding that this film would continue to focus on Laurie and not do what later slashers did with bouncing around between different casts was a great fucking move, ironically for a franchise that was intended to be an anthology.

quietly exploring the aftermath of the first film was a good idea for a follow-up, and i especially really enjoy Loomis’ role in this movie, and his discussion about who Myers is. the biggest disappointment for me personally is that Laurie lacks a lot of presence in this film. Curtis is great, as always, but the movie dawdles on some side characters who are too disconnected from her to get a sense of what shes going through.

all that being said, Halloween II is decent. the ending is really great, with some really powerful shots. Michael bleeding from the eyes of his mask after Laurie shoots him is one of the best fucking images in horror and him swinging blindly as Laurie and Loomis slowly orchestrate his death is a fucking amazing scene. i have an immense fondness for this movie, with all its flaws. it brings a lot of really cool concepts to the table, and i think it deserves some appreciation.

heres a question tho; where the fuck were Laurie’s parents. theres a suggestion theyre missing, but theres no explanation why and we never hear from them. did michael kill them too? hello? mr and mrs strode? your daughter just fucking killed a guy and all her friends are dead. where the fuck are you.

Halloween III: Season of the Witch

Halloween III is infamous as being the Halloween movie that isn’t about Michael Myers at all. when it first released it was wildly unpopular and remained so for quite a while, but has had a surge in popularity over the last few years. i think just about every horror critic i know now considers Halloween III one of the best in the franchise. and to be fair to it, its a great little movie. not a slasher at all but rather a conspiracy thriller, Halloween III is all about the mystery of what the Silver Shamrock mask-making company are really up to, and why people are disappearing. its a weird and creative little movie, with some really fucking great practical effects that turn it from just being a thriller to being an all-out horror film. it has a few too many ineffective jumpscares and some of the plot twists are kind of disappointing and feel a little too much like the easy option -- and then others are so wildly bizarre no one would see them coming because theyre fucking completely out there. but i kind of love that sort of nonsense in a horror movie. like lets just have a fucking good time in here for once in our fucking lives.

Halloween III is not a perfect or even a really great movie, but yknow, fuck it. the idea that only perfect films are worth watching is dumb. i appreciate the weird shit this film tried and i think it deserves a lot more respect than what it got; if it had been released under another title it probably would have gone down as a classic instead of being derided for years, you ask me.

now things start going rapidly downhill

Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers

Halloween 4 is when Jamie is introduced as the new final girl; Laurie’s seven year old daughter, after Laurie herself died off-screen in a fucking car crash. the decision to kill off Laurie came from Jamie Lee Curtis decided not to return to the character and instead of recasting her, they went with just having her… die. off-screen. in the franchise where the previous two movies were about her triumph and determination to stay alive. like its the casual thoughtlessness of this that, the idea no one would give a shit a character returned, that in my eyes epitomises how fucking little anyone cared about this franchise going forward.

man the idea of Laurie dying completely irrelevant to Michael… thats a lot. anyway continuing on his quest to erase anyone related to him, Michael starts targeting his niece Jamie for the three movies in the franchise. this is where the series started rapidly losing any grip on reality. while Michael always had some kind of superhuman elements to him (he took six bullets to the chest and survived in the first movie) these became increasingly wildly exaggerated. now hes crushing peoples skulls with his bare hands shit like what the fuck. first of all do that to me and secondly, it was this kind of slide into unreality that let the supernatural elements of the series creep in further until you end up with the shitshow that is Halloween 6. like it was the decrease in the impact of violence and human life that really fucked this franchise over.

this film is not great. its a definite decline in quality after 2 and was on the slippery slope downwards. it has some high points, primarily in Dr Loomis. Donald Pleasance is a better actor than most movies deserve and brings gravitas to a role that in the hands of a less capable actor would be laughable. his sincere plea to Michael at one point to just kill him instead of going after Jamie is honestly fucking tragic.

outside of that, the film isnt massively interesting. Michael himself isnt particularly threatening or engaging, and his mask looks like shit in this film. the characters in this film are largely very stupid, also, which doesnt help anything much.

Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers

if theres a Halloween movie people talk about the least, its this one. II has the sibling twist, III is the black sheep, 4 is the return, even 6 gets talked about for its troubled production history. no one has anything to say about Halloween 5. and thats mostly because there is fucking nothing to say about Halloween 5. it is a relentlessly fucking dull movie that pads out its 100 minute run time with endless unnecessary scenes of shit that does… nothing. this film is dull in a way that i find incredibly detestable. i cant even watch it through a haze of impassioned anger like i can with the also incredible dull Halloween II (2009). its just fucking boring. every single scene drags like its trying to walk on two broken legs. the plot is so bare bones its nonsensical. it constantly adds new characters and new elements but all that does is makes it more incoherent and confusing. watching this movie i literally found my fucking eyes glazing over in my skull. if this film was edited correctly it would be twenty minutes long. i cannot fucking emphasise enough how much of relentless slog it is. Halloween 4 was dull but even that had the lifeline of ‘some cool ideas’. Halloween 5 is nothing. Halloween 5 is puddle dirt water.

Halloween 6: The Curse of Michael Myers

if Halloween 5 is puddle dirt water Halloween 6 is just a fresh hot glass of piss. there are two versions of Halloween 6, the director’s cut and the theatrical release, and both are wretched. this film went full ham with introducing the supernatural elements, telling us that Michael was his whole life psychically controlled by a pagan cult called the Cult of Thorne in order to make Halloween scary again or summon the devil or who fucking cares. this movie is fucking insufferably dull, totally absurd, and wildly unsympathetic. i loathe Halloween 6 and every terrible, stupid plot decision it makes. Paul Rudd defeats Michael Myers by drawing druid symbols on the ground and Michael just gives up and lies down. theres a baby that does nothing and serves no purpose. Halloween is apparently banned in Haddonfield, which makes this more closely related to Footloose than Halloween i think. this film takes itself incredibly seriously while spouting nothing but total fucking bullshit drivel and i dont believe that anyone involved in this movie, from the cast to the cameraman to the guy who served the lunch had any faith in this movie outside of the vague hope it might make money and i wish this movie had been burned at the stake. also i hate Paul Rudd.

Halloween H20: 20 Years Later

oh thank fucking god finally some good fucking food. Halloween H20 took the decision to retcon all the sequels (except II) twenty years before Halloween 2018, proving that everyone knew 5 and 6 were fucking mistakes.

this film loses a lot of the Halloween feeling in favour of making a more generic late 1990s/early 2000s style horror. theres nothing particularly interesting about the way this movie is directed or shot, the music is largely very generic, it has a generally uninteresting glossy quality to it that studio movies always do. its very obvious this movie was inspired by Scream and it looks a lot more like Scream than it does Halloween. all of this makes me kind of sad, but other films in the franchise have proved that other directors generally are not capable of imitating Carpenter’s style so maybe its better they dont really try.

what H20 does so well, and the reason i love it so much, is that it explores the relationship between Michael and Laurie, which is something im endlessly fascinated with. this was the first movie to have Laurie shake off her fear and rise up against Michael, and while it doesnt do it with quite as much depth and intelligence as Halloween 2018, it still has a fucking good crack at Laurie’s character, and its still powerful watching her turn on the man who terrorised her for years. Michael is great in this movie too; while he has a terrible mask, watching him back on his shit as a furious force of nature who wants nothing more than to destroy anyone who gets in his way.

honestly i kind of enjoy having a Halloween in a different style; theres something fun about seeing characters recontextualised and done with justice and empathy. most of the Halloween sequels before this one (and after, looking at Resurrection) are shallow, unconcerned with any kind of emotional depth or personality. and while a lot of the stock filler characters in H20 who are lined up for the chopping block arent that interesting and dont particularly standout, watching Jamie Lee Curtis’ performance and seeing her interplay with Michael is enough. and most of the side characters arent particularly annoying, which is more than i can say for half this franchise.

this film also has what is one of my absolute favourite endings in a movie ever; the final confrontation between Michael and Laurie has a particular interaction between them that i absolutely adore and that alone is enough to make this movie one of my favourites.

H20 isnt perfect; it weirdly feels like a blueprint that Halloween 2018 would later refine into a better movie, but the idea its going to be completely disregarded for Halloween 2018 in the future makes me a little sad. in the face of so many fucking mediocre and awful Halloween sequels it did the right thing in trying to focus on what actually mattered; the connection between Michael and Laurie, although i dont feel like it succeeded in making Michael as scary as 2018 would much later. that said, the shot where Michael and Laurie just stare at each other through the glass of a window? that gives me chills every time. and hearing the Halloween theme kick in as Laurie marches off into the school with an axe looking for Michael is so fucking triumphant.

i love H20 even if Michael’s mask looks like his hair was dunked in a bucket of water and then gently blow-dried. i have no idea why it looks so fucking stupid in this movie. why is it so hard to get Michael’s mask right. you wouldnt think it was that fucking hard. anyway, i really fucking love Laurie Strode a lot, which didnt help to make Resurrection any easier to swallow.

Halloween: Resurrection

so whats the obvious thing to do after you have a movie where the power and emotion all comes from the emotional catharsis of seeing a woman get her vengeance on her tormentor? you, uh, make a sequel in which she is immediately defeated and pointlessly killed after its revealed her victory at the end of the previous film was entirely false, and then you never return to focus on her and instead introduce a horde of entirely uninteresting stock characters. yeah, makes sense.

Resurrection is fucking incredibly stupid, in the kind of fucking hysterical way only really bad horror movies can capture. theres absolutely nothing of Halloween in this other than the presence of Michael, who just as easily could have been replaced with anyone or anything. the story has a group of people on a reality show staying in the Myers house to… stay there? its not entirely clear what the challenge is meant to be, other than to just be inside the house, which i imagine gets to be pretty dull viewing pretty quickly. theres no suggestion theyre like, hunting for ghosts or something along those lines, theyre just… looking at stuff.

Michael slopes around this movie like he doesnt fucking understand where he is or whats going on, an entirely out of place relic of better times past while the cast cavorts around him doing nothing of interest and having no plots or characterisation to speak of. the film has exactly two or three funny moments, including the legendary ‘Michael Myers getting electrocuted in the dick by Busta Rhymes’, but youre way, way better off just looking that up on youtube instead of watching this movie. there is an hour of pointless plot development about characters no one cares about until Michael starts fucking killing people. this movie shouldnt exist and we should all go back to pretending it doesnt.

and thats it. thats all the halloween films. i can die now.

[musicallygt]

@realmisspolarbear IMMA JUST RAMBLE ABT THE IDEAS BC IM EMOTIONALLY ATTACHED TO THESE CHARACTERS BUT THE ONLY OTHER TWO PPL THAT IK WHO KNOW THE PERFECT SCORE BY ROB BUYEA ARENT INTO G/T AND ID RATHER NOT EMBARRASS MYSELF (spoilers ahead if anyone cares dhdhdhhfhd)

Okay, things to note: there’s Natalie, Randi, Gavin, Scott, Trevor, and Mark, all in middle school (unless a fourth book comes out and they go to high school, bc they finish eighth grade by the end of the third book) (also idk why im suddenly in a TPS mood but i miss these books i say having read the last book earlier this year fjdjdjdjjdj) to sum things up, Natalie wasnt friends with anyone, Scott had no friends and was picked on constantly, Gavin and Randi were friends and Gavin hated Natalie, and Trevor and Mark were friends and bullied Scott while Trevor is also being bullied by his older brother, then through a whole bunch of events they all become friends and called themselves the Recruits. Theres a lot more but i dont feel like going into that

More stuff happens in the next two books but the second book is a mess (as in. Shit goes down, not that its bad) and i dont feel like going thru all that

Anyway I think the tinies would be Randi, Scott, and Mark. Scott is a tiny bc as much as I love him, him as a tiny would make him really easy to pick on im sorry Scott. Mark is a tiny bc tiny support for Trevor. And Trevor just hiding Mark from his brother whenever Mark is over just 🥺🥺🥺 God i fucking hated Trevor at first but then his development was just !!!!!! and im like “protect this boyo” but he still did bad im not gonna excuse that. And I have no reason for Randi to be a tiny, i just think its a cute idea with tiny!Randi and giant!Gavin.

Oh wait she could be tiny and Jane (her mom) is just like. Not really trusting of giants so she judges Randi for being friends with Gavin but allows it bc he doesnt interfere with her gymnastics so

Natalie, Gavin, and Trevor are giants. No reason for Gavin to be giant lmao. Natalie just has that energy, and when she and Scott eventually become friends???? Her protecting him????? UGH my heart is soft 🥺🥺 and Trevor as a giant bc also bullying Scott and protecting Mark

WAIT TINY RANDI PRACTICING GYMNASTICS WHILE GAVIN WATCHES

When they all become friends just Trevor and Gavin being v protective of Scott and Mark????

OH MY GOD THAT ONE SCENE IN THE LIBRARY WHERE NATALIE AND RANDI BOND FOR THE FIRST TIME!!!

Like Gavin hates Natalie bc her mom accidentally ruined his family’s life (Natalie does not know this) but he leaves the room to do something and I forgot exactly why but Natalie and Randi start talking and then Natalie is like “this girl isnt so bad” and then Gavin returns and sees them laughing together and then runs to the bathroom to cry bc he thinks his best friend just abandoned him for his sworn enemy

Trevark being soft 🥺🥺🥺 bro my heart

Trevalie is canon in the books tho (IT DEVELOPS RLLY WELL I PROMISE) but theyre both giants for this au so theres not rlly soft g/t moments BUT!!!! Mark gets upset in the third book bc Trevor starts spending more time with Natalie and Mark is rlly upset nOT TO MENTION HES BASICALLY LEFT OUT????? IMAGINE THIS ANGST BUT WITH TINY!MARK WHO FEELS LIKE HES NOTHING????? Also Mr Buyea if you ever write more for this blease give Mark a pov he deserves one

Mrs Underwood and Mrs Magenta are probably both giants.

Wait. Wait how does the kitten scene work

Does Natalie just. Walk Scott to his grandpa’s with a kitten in her backpack. How does Smokey fit into this

Scott’s grandpa just now has a giant kitten ig

I CANNOT STOP THINKING ABT SOFT (platonic) SCOTTLIE AND SOFT RANDLIE (either platonic or romantic im lov both) BUT IN G/T MY HEART IS 💕💕💕

Natalie carrying Scott and Randi when the three of them are friends im 🥺🥺🥺 (ive been overusing that emoji in this post bUT I DONT CARE)

oh my god Jane just yelling at Mrs. Underwood when Mrs Underwood suggests that Randi and Jane’s mother-daughter relationship is incredibly strained and like. This tiny woman yelling up at this giant woman who could easily hurt her

YO WAIT ADAM AND NICKY (fuck them i hate them) HURTING SCOTT RLLY BADLY IN THE SECOND BOOK BUT THEM AS GIANTS AND HES JUST UNCONSCIOUS IN THE BATHROOM FLOOR (but liek. The giant bathroom) AND THEN TREVOR FINDING HIM AND JUST.

TREVOR PROTECTIVE OF SCOTT AFTER THEYRE FRIENDS BLEASE

God i need to read these books again

My brain: haha what if you made a g/t au for a middle grade book series that barely anyone knows about

Me: why do you do this

[hephaestustestified]

answer all Questions for the Mun!

I’ll get my revenge Dirky.

Under the readmore cause i might ramble tbh.

What made you decide to roleplay this muse?

Well I was friends with Dan back when he first made the au and I always wanted to join, but i never could get a strong feeling for who or how. I ended up just... picking and doing a lot of research to try to figure something out I think. It took me months to make him.

Do you roleplay other muses?

Yup! Angel Kar for Gracestuck, Angel Dirk for an au I made, witch Hal, vamp dirk for the vamp strilonde au, Leo for PH, hero dave and hero hal for @rise-from-ashes-au that me and my husband made, midnight crew boss dirk i made to go with jays felt boss jake, apollo! signless, and a few muses in the works. if you want links always feel free to hmu off anon or in IMs.

Are there other characters you’re interested in rping or wish to?

I want to try the older strider guardians or eridan or gamzee. 

What made you decide on your URL name?

his name is hephaestus and hes a dirk alt. it wasnt very creative tbh but oh well.

What made you decide on your blog title?

its just the url in bigger text i think >.>;;;;;

Other characters/muns you’re interested in roleplaying with?

anyone really. g0reme is an interesting muse and i would love to interact with them but.... my anxiety kills me..... TTATT;;;

Do you overthink your tag descriptions or keep it simple?

i keep it simple. i used to over tag the life out of my dave and jake blogs but i sort of stopped caring tbh.

Text format or nah? What’s your opinion on that?

i personally dont?? id like to but its pretty hard. as long as its readable i dont mind other people doing it! it looks really fancy sometimes. 

Favorite three icons of your muse.

I don’t get to use the first and third often, if at all.

How do you feel about the interpretation of your character vs the fandom?

some people make very good dirks and can make very good believable au dirks. i especially love my sons @technologictempest interpretation of dirk and consider him something of an expert. other people tend to hugely misinterpret him and like make him very VERY unnecessarily aggressive or just....focus on only one aspect of him and its just.... eeeeeeeeh. 

What’s a thread you’d like to do in the near future?

im still lowkey hoping dan and lavi will let me kill heph and bring him back with amnesia. he’d get his memories back eventually but itd be sooooo much fun!!! itd be hella fuckin sad tho. 

Do you have fun RPing?

most of the time. sometimes it gets stressful and annoying, like when people cause a LOT of drama ALL the time. like something always has to happen to make the attention be on the other persons muse ALL THE TIME. the muse is ALWAYS the victim and never does anything wrong. it gets old. take a break. or when people turn a fun plot meant to stay between a few people into a full blown multiverse war with outside interference and start shitting on the muns it makes it really uncomfortable to be around sometimes. thats why i try to find the people who DONT do things like that and stick to them. rational human beings who know when to stop are great to rp with. its why i throw my muses at embellishedbookworm john a lot. hes an easy to talk to person and very understanding and reasonable. i mention him cause he sticks out the most rn but my other friends are also in the same category. i feel very bad for clinging to my friends tho. 

Three of your favorite threads

;u; i dont get to thread with heph a lot. if at all. please hmu with threads.

What’s an M!A that would be fun to try out?

already answered! :D 

What’s the relationship status of your muse? Single? Taken?

taken. definitely. technically he could date more people, but hes barely comfortable with two. adding more than that and hed prob develop worse anxiety. its totally ok for other muses to crush on him but it makes him feel bad and guilty for not returning their feelings. his self image also tends to get in the way of his love life. (as posei and hermes have found out)

Are you selective?

sort of yes. some aus i avoid, some muns i avoid due to past experiences, and some people i just dont follow back immediately or follow at all despite wanting to interact because of who theyre friends with (even if the people i dont follow are friends of mine). especially with hephs account i dont always follow back because i do most of my blogging from the tablet or laptop, which means i dont really want to be scrolling for 20 minutes to find a thread or interaction. i tend to mostly follow close friends or muses that interact on a semi regular basis. but im usually up for interactions if you just hmu in asks or ims.

Your muse’s theme song.

Good question. I have no fucking idea and im always open to suggestions. 

What’s your opinion on blog themes? How do you feel about your own?

I love blog themes and hate them. I hate finding themes for blogs, but i love looking at other people’s pretty blog themes. i think hephs is pretty decent? i had to have dans help with it tbh.

What’s something that would make you unfollow a mutual?

interacting heavily with mun who make me uncomfy due to the shit stunts theyve pulled in the past (whether the person interacting knows about the muns who make me uncomfy or not. ill usually warn the mun interacting with said jerks before unfollowing tho) or breaking a big rule of mine without asking or warning. i can handle certain rps as long as i have time to prepare myself (usually a few hours or a few days) but if its brought up without any time to agree or turn it down, ill prob unfollow after the first warning.

Three big no-nos to do or say to your muse. (their ‘berserk button’)

giving him shit for being a god (he mentions this regularly. a LOT of people in the past have accused him of trying to force them into worshiping him after he says hello to the point he no longer talks to new people if he can help it), or bringing up his unfaithful wife or try to harass people he cares about.

Three interesting little tidbits or facts of your muse.

hes actually gotten to the point where he feels very isolated (and resentful) in his forge and wants so badly to leave, but hes also afraid of being unimportant or seen as worthless unless hes working.

 hes actually very clingy and physically affectionate (posei and hermes tend to see this a lot, but bubbles also sees it when heph gets particularly upset or in a good mood). 

posei and hermes have the most unintentional control over heph tbh?? they can get him to do just about anything if they asked. 

Where are you typing right now and where do you usually type?

on my bed, and usually on my bed tbh. my laptop is falling apart and cant stay open unless propped up, so i stay in bed laid out on my stomach to rp from my laptop.

[irregodless]

okay readmore time

feel free to contact me to discuss theories or general plot

so this is gonna be hella segmented but just deal okay

my thoughts are never very organized so im just gonna talk about some disappointments and other stuff

why does homeworld have a court session for rose quartz i mean i get theyre bureaucrats suddenly but like. um? kinda feels silly. why would they give her a chance to defend herself? also have they advanced like humans? bc blue diamond sure af didnt give garnet a chance to plead a case when she fused ON ACCIDENT

that being said what happened to all the stuff about like moon goddesses and stuff. i wasnt really counting on the diamonds being like. actual goddess figures but i was kinda hoping for more than ceo bosses in pantsuits

where he hell is white diamond and why wasnt she present. was she out conquering new planets? the symbol represents her so she appears to still be around. so where is she? i honestly think its suspicious that shes not present. i figure given her color and gem placement she is a cold calculating unfeeling machine who is only concerned with purity, structure and justice. so like the anithesis of what steven fights for: feeling for each other, empathizing etc

kinda disappointed there were so few off-colors but maybe well find some more later

also kinda disappointed steven and lars didnt fuse but i mean maybe later. also there wasnt really a need to so far nor was it implied they would

why did everyone run away from rutile when they emerged? the fact they were not INSTANTLY captured and shattered for breaking the mold suggests that all the kindergartners ran too. now they might have been around MUCH LONGER AGO but to me that would mean imperfect gems were MORE COMMON to find. the gems dont seem to be too put off by strange appearances. im just saying its weird that they would all run from a defect gem. im not crying plot hole, im actually saying i think something ELSE happened to make them run away. not a mutated rutile.

i was kind of hoping to find a secret society of garnets of other rubies and sapphires who followed our garnets example lol. they couldve helped steven feel more at home or something

im kind of sad it wasnt set up more like a movie, but again it wasnt SUPPOSED to be. understand i can identify things i was expecting incorrectly and things im genuinely upset by. this was just my expectations being in the wrong place.

im also sad there isnt more of a prospect of there being like. a season of being stranded on homeworld. but now it feels like in the two years itll take for season 6 to show up till just be a bunch of “””filler””” where lars is just stranded on homeworld and not spoken about until a stevenbomb halfway through. id much rather learn about homeworld!!

we also got no new information about the war or homeworld, really!!!! :( not even a flashback

yellow diamond is guilty af. she didnt want to hold the trial and she was ESPECIALLY outraged by the “crazy theory” that she did it. also, im just sayin, eyeball ruby (the only known witness we know of atm) also couldnt tell that the jasper she had ALSO SEEN WITH HER ONE EYE AND LVOED SO MUCH was really amethyst. like she didnt even notice her chest gem OR her coloration. so i mean. the rose quartz that shattered pink COULD HAVE BEEN yellow or COULD HAVE BEEN a shapeshifted gem. esp since her sword isnt supposed to shatter. so someones murder mystery unravels by getting a core detail wrong. i still kind of like the theory of like. pink transferring her consciousness a la lars and steven to a rose and shattering herself so she wouldnt have to conquer and destroy. so our rose is actually pink diamond but in the body of a rose quartz (making steven still a rose quartz but not a pink diamond like his mom... ‘s personality. which is what matters over physical form. esp with gems. itd also make the rose is pink diamond theories hilarious true but also false lmao)

kind of disappointed in lions new origin story too! i think the pink pearl theories were interesting if not always positively RIDDLED with holes. (some people thought he was a gem monster but um we would have seen pearls gem on his tummy. and steven has pet his tummy MANY A TIME)

I KIND OF DONT LIKE THAT THE HAPPY ENDING WAS JUST STEVEN REUNITING WITH HIS FAMILY BUT LARS GETTIN FUCKED OFF LEFT ON HOMEWORLD LOL. i mean i know he told him to go and tell everone and stuff but its like. look everythings back to normal and theyre back together!! oh except lars who isnt alive and will live forever as an organic lich servant to steven but dont worry l m a o o o. i jsut didnt like that whole lars thing a lot in general... nor do i feel like turning pink instantly redeems him. not that i hated him. but i dont think turnign pink was the character development we needed.

WHERES TOPAZ IS SHE OKAY DID AQUAMARINE RAT HER OUT

DO ZIRCONS GET SHATTERED IF THEY LOSE A CASE

WOULD BLUE ZIRCON HAVE BEEN A PARIAH FOR DEFENDING ROSE QUARTZ DESPITE *HAVING TO*

YO BLUE DIAMOND EY WHAT UP LIKE LITERALLY WHATS GOING ON BLUE PLZ TELL ME IN THE DARK A LIL

plz tell me well get more homeworld adventures and lars will smuggle gems in his hair

are they going to send pumpkin to homeworld as rose or something and sacriice him lol (i actually just wanted to ask why he was relevant at all but then i imagined just like. replacing him with lars)

are the crystal gems gonna go to homeworld and start shit princess marco style teach those gems about rock and roll pearl!! liberate them form the oppressive THE MAN, AMETHYST

can i mention that while it was funny but also irrelevant to this special, i kinda didnt like the like. garnet just drawing herself “i like me” bit. like it was funny but also like. almost too off-focus and too self-absorbed for her character. i could imagine sardonyx doing that but not garnet. idk it was just a single silly gag but i didnt like it

are the zircons okay tho

but like seriously whats homeworld even like like whats going on. especially since they dont seem to have an actual culture (if gems dont know what jokes are i really cant imagine them having a purpsoe outside of militial. how does a civilization survive on being NOTHING but war machines?)

i kinda feel like were coming to the tip of excitement here i feel like theres very little more that can be done in the show. idk. like what happens next anyways

do i have any MORE questions or musings to ask/muse????? yes. but i cant think of any rn. so later. 

EDIT: so i was thinking and i wanted to ammend the lars things. he DEF had character development and it was DEF even before he turned pink. i think i felt that the only thing being addressed or taken away was that he was pink now? and i kinda dont like character development thats done like completely suddenly as a heelturn and is heretofore ooc. lars however was written WELL. he developed REALLY WELL AND I LOVE IT. there was just something at the time that made it seem like it was all about him turning pink that almost made me forget he literally saved everyone? and i realize him being left out of the happy ending was of his own accord and sacrifice it just kinda rubbed me the wrong way. just a personal thing i guess.