#id make dessert too idk call me crazy

[violentdevotion]

The thing that really pisses me off with their narrative of ‘celebrating Oct. 7th’ is that literally didn’t happen the way they say it did. All the videos I saw that day of happy Palestinians had a lot to do with the people of Gaza finally being able to walk beyond the barbed wired fence, some for the first time ever. I’m meant to criticize that?

also like.... even if they were celebrating i can't blame them? zionists act as if flattening gaza is a proportionate and rational response to one act of retaliation and will go on marches begging for more palestinian blood but palestinians celebrating a single 'victory' is something the world should condemn? like,,,, fuck off maybe?

[swellwriting]

tagged by @kabeswaters​ and @fortisfiliae​ love u both sm <3 <3

1. on a scale of 1-10, how excited are you about life right now? it fluctuates but right now -1 

2. describe yourself in a hashtag? #anxious

3. if you could do a love scene with anyone, who would it be? JAKE MOTHERFUCKING GYLLENHAAL 

4. if your life was a musical, what would the marquee say? i dont know what that is hah

5. what’s one thing people don’t know about you? i guess some people don’t know i’m type one diabetic??

6. what’s your wake up ritual? uh phone, animal crossing, fruit loops, weed

7. what’s your go to bed ritual? I watch asmr videos cuz im usually high as fuck and they knock me out lol, or i watch tiktok or pillow talk with my bf nick.

8. what’s your favorite time of day? like 9 pm?

9. your go to for having a good laugh? my boyfriend always makes me laugh no matter how angry or upset i am so i’d talk to him uwu

10. dream country to visit? FRANCe specifically Paris oui oui with my french candian bullshit

11. what’s the biggest surprise you’ve ever had? when they announced 5sos was touring with one direction and i had tickets, never screamed so loud in my LIFE

12. heels or flats/sneakers? sneakers duh

13. vintage or new? vintage babey

14. who do you want to write your obituary? ME from the great beyond, the only other person who knows me well enouhg is nick and i love him but he is very stupid.

15. style icon? uh harry styles, devon lee carlson, halsey, bella hadid, tyler the creator some normal people whos style i LOVE  from insta are rebeccaramsdale , kehllie , kikalateefff , yourgirlneens , lilxmg !

16. what are three things you cannot live without? phone, insulin, art, music

17. what’s one ingredient you put in everything? probs vanilla or hotsauce, the only two flavours.

18. what 3 people living or dead would you want to make dinner for? my dead brother DJ, kurt cobain andddd ryan dunn from jackass what a weird mix.

19. what’s your biggest fear in life? loosing my senses, loosing control, the fear that i am not actually real and ... oh spiders.

20. window or aisle seat? window 

21. what’s your current tv obsession? think its gonna be adventure time again

22. favorite app? instagram or discord so i can talk to my friends uwu

23. secret talent? i can speak french and giberish

24. most adventurous thing you’ve ever done in your life? camping i guess?

25. how would you define yourself in three words? anxious, empathetic, creative

26. favorite piece of clothing you own? my vintage star wars shirt

27. a must have clothing item that everyone should have? blank tees, good quality blank tees!!! white black grey mhmhmh

28. a superpower you would want? i’d wanna be spidergirl

29. what’s inspiring you in life right now? nothing at all :(

30. best piece of advice you’ve received? my grade six teacher telling me that i was very empathetic as i was sitting at the back of the class crying because of the movie we were watching, she told me not everyone is empathetic like i am but its okay to be soft. but not to expect that from everyone else.

31. best advice you’d give your teenage self? teenage me was a mess but not messy enough that i’d change anything. i’d just say, things get better but im currently back in the state teenage me was in so...i’d be lying. maybe that wanting to kill yourself does not count as a personality trait - and start reading comics earlier cuz u really like them.

32. a book everyone should read? i read wack books, everyone on tumblr should read fangirl tho

33. what would you like to be remembered for? something i created

34. how do you define beauty? self expression and individuality 

35. what do you love most about your body? wait people love their bodies? not everyone was severly damaged by online diet culture and thigh gap era tumblr? weird ok

36. best way to take a rest/decompress? weed or bath or a movie

37. favorite place to view art? there is an art gallery in saskatchewan that i love, i was suposed to go there this summer before corona took over :(((

38. if your life was a song, what would the title be? either something short like “mellow” or fob style like “im so anxiuos all the time and nothing ever feels real and i dont know what im doing but somehow im doing pretty good while feeling prety bad and laughing through my tears lol.” or i’d steal “teen idle” by marina and the diamonds.

39. if you could master one instrument, what would it be? guitar or piano because im lame at both.

40. if you had a tattoo, where would it be? i want two moths above my knees rn

41 dolphins or koalas? neither

42. what’s an animal that represents you? im more of a pokemon, i think id be jigglypuff

43. best gift you’ve ever received? whenever nick buys me clothes from stussy or maybe infinity on high on vinyl.

44. best gift you’ve given? i bought nick the entire sin city comic series in one giant book.

45. what’s your favorite board game? monopoly

46. what’s your favorite color? yellow

47. least favorite color? that weird pinky purple

48. diamond or pearls? pearls

49. drugstore makeup or designer? colour pop and fenty

50. pilates or yoga? yoga

51. coffee or tea? tea

52. what’s the weirdest word in the english language? pumpernickle is my fav one.

53. dark chocolate or milk chocolate? MILK

54. stairs or elevators? stairs

55. summer or winter? summer, canadian winters are brutal.

56. you are stuck on an island, you can pick one food to eat forever without getting tired of it, what would you eat? ur asking someone who has very specific comfort foods so i already do this - cheese bagel toasted with cream cheese and then toasted again to melt cheddar cheese on top. with a diet coke thats very important.

57. a dessert you don’t like? cheesecake 

58. a skill you’re working on mastering? im crazy so this is a lot but - writing , drawing and painting, polymer clay, sewing, resin art and pottery.

59. best thing to happen to you today? nothing

60. worst thing to happen to you today? the line at starbucks was too long and i had to get wendys instead, and a few other things i won’t mention.

61. best compliment you’ve ever received? whenever my mom says i remind her of my brother dj, when people say anything nice about my art or writing style. when people ask about my clothes. when my friend jess called me a “known softie” uwu

62. favorite smell? lavender

63. hugs or kisses? hugs

64. if you made a documentary, what would it be about? i’d talk about star wars for hours on end 

65. last piece of content you consumed that made you cry? of mice and men made me ball my fucking eyes out

66. lipstick or lipgloss? chapstickk

67. sweet or savory? sweet

68. girl crush? Zendaya

69. how do you know you’re in love? idk ive just always been in love with nick (since i was 15) before i even really knew what love was, i guess if the other person feels like home, you know ur doing something right.

70. a song you can listen to on repeat? nine in the afternoon by p!atd or a match into water by peirce the veil, over my head by fleetwood mac

71. if you could switch lives with someone for a day, who would it be? harry styles that mysterious fucker

72. what are you most excited for/about this time in your life? currently not looking forward to anything becase my life is super uncertain right now ha.. maybe the release of the chaos walking movie whenever that decides to happen.

tagging: i assume yall have been tagged in this already but just incase @beskarjedi @woakiees @bluemadcnna @carolinesbookworld  @theseuscmander and anyone else who wants to do this consider urself tagged.

[canaryatlaw]

okay. another long and mostly good day. The vast majority of it was good but I got slightly peeved at my family and of course particularly at my asshole (older) brother, but whatever. Jess’ alarm went off at 8, and we started getting dressed. I was doing my Ramona Flowers cosplay today, and I was pretty sure I was going to melt because the outfit was legit a hoodie and then another jacket over that, but I did my best to find ones that were described as lightweight. I was doing normal make up today so I ddi that and then we headed out. My house perpetually never has breakfast food, so we stopped at McDonalds for food and coffee, and then we were on our way. The ride there and back went pretty smoothly both days, nothing really crazy that would be an issue. We got there right around 10 when it opened, and there was quite a line to get past security and inside, so we had to wait outside and I was doing my best not to totally overheat lol. I set the metal detector off at the juvenile courthouse so many times that now whenever I walk through one and don’t set it off, it feels like an accomplishment honestly 😂 but we got in, Brandon wasn’t out yet so we browsed for a while mostly looking at funko pops, Jess wanted the ATOM of course and I was casually looking for Ramona since I know they have one and that would be cool to have. I’m also going to buy the Elektra from Daredevil pop at some point, just haven’t gotten around to it yet (and my stack of dark haired women that can kick your ass funko pops is getting quite tall lately). We also went back to the t-shirt place from yesterday and browsed for a bit, I resisted the temptation to buy more wonder woman shirts, partially because they were just in unisex sizes that I don’t like how they fit me. But I did get the “Nelson and Murdock: attorneys at law” shirt I wanted so that made me happy. It reminds me of my first year legal writing class which is all graded anonymously through your student ID number so our prof said we could make up a name to actually sign it with, and I ended up putting “Sara Lance, Assassins at Law” as opposed to attorneys at law and I felt very clever lol. I’m pretty sure I put the address as like 123 Comingforyou drive too. Good times. So then we made our way back to Brandon’s table as he had arrived, so we were good and waited in line, then talked to him of course, he noticed and complimented my cosplay immediately, a lot of people actually told me they liked it which I was pleased to hear because she has a lot of different outfits in the movie and it’s not like you’re gonna memorize every one, but I’m sure the wig with the rather distinctive larger pieces in the front helped. So we chatted with him and took some selfies, which thankfully look better than the ones from yesterday that were god awful. I told him I wanted to do a fighting photo op pose, so we were prepared for that. The photo op wasn’t till 1:30 though and we didn't have much else to be, and Brandon was kinda swamped so we couldn’t really just chill with him. So we walked around a bit more then ended up sitting in front of their main panel stage, and happened to watch the kids costume contest, which was sooooooo adorable, so many precious children. the one who takes the kid though was definitely this little boy who dressed as a transformer, with like, incredible detail and care, but the kicker is when he lays down HE CAN ACTUALLY TRANSFORM INTO A TRUCK and if that’s not the coolest idea ever I don’t know what is. So, unsurprisingly, he won, got some sort of star wars land speeder things, idk. That started at 12 and we wanted to be at the photo op at like 1 because they tended to start early. Brandon wasn’t at his table, so we talked to his handlers for a bit, who are both super nice and like, actual friends with Jess now lol, so we did that before going to the photo op, and unsurprisingly they started like 20 minutes before the scheduled time. We were sent to wait behind the photo set up and I’m standing there waiting and this guy in a fucking spider-man costume just like, walks past me and places himself on line and I really, really wanted to be like “hey asswipe, do you actually know how not to be a fucking moron??” but the small amount of common sense I do have decided that it wasn’t worth it so I just glared at him periodically. When I got into the photo op we kind of figured out our pose and then took the photo, and it came out super good, I’ll grab it and post it on here in a minute (well, when I’m done here). Once we had the photo we went back over to the table and shamelessly cut the line (wow I’m a hypocrite but like we have street cred here we can do that) to show Brandon the photo op, and he of course signed it without me even asking, and wrote a very funny message about the two characters, so that made me happy. Having done the rounds a lot and not really having much else to do we decided to say goodbye and head out, Brandon was leaving at 3 anyway so he could get back to Courtney and their son for Father’s Day (awwwwww). Saying goodbye is always hard and like, it’s hard to say when we might see him again since not a whole lot of stuff has been announced so far. I definitely did miss Courtney being there too. But anyway, we headed out and decided we needed some lunch, so I decided Jess needed to try authentic New York pizza (on the hierarchy of NY foods non-Yankees need to try while here is like 1) bagels 2) pizza 3) either carvel or friendly’s, 4) kosher delis 5) diners, and 6) normal delis). so I just googled mapped the nearest pizzeria and went there, because I know we can get fab pizza at any place there, and it was very fab! I love getting pizza whenever I’m here, so it was really a must. Jess very much enjoyed hers, even if she continues to talk about how Chicago deep dish is better, but I’m quite aware that’s more to antagonize me than an actual opinion at this point 😂 when we were walking out she was yelling like “DEEP DISH IS BETTER!!!” and I was like “careful, you can get shot for saying stuff like that here” and this random guy who was walking away from his car was like “I’ll get the gun” and we both basically died laughing. Drive home was fine, hit a bit of traffic but nothing bad. When we were right about to pass a Carvel I had the bright idea to ask if Jess wanted ice cream (because I always want ice cream, of course) and she said heck yeah so we pulled into the place. I got my favorite vanilla soft serve with chocolate crunches on the outside and in a waffle cone, Jess ended up order a combination of their three different types of sherbet that they made especially for her 😂 it was also funny because we were chatting a little with this lady standing next to us, whom we discovered was also from Chicago and was here visiting, lol. so that was good. Carvel doesn’t have a seating area or anything, so we just went back to the car to eat them, and damn, they tasted so good, but it took sooo long to finish them (and that was the “small” version), When we did finish I drove the rest of the way home, things were a bit busy with everyone prepping for father’s day dinner, one of our family friends was over and in charge of the steaks, so there was all that. We basically just chilled in my room until we got called for dinner, which was being held outside at the table on the patio, which is always nice. Dinner was pretty good, things were pretty solid, We broke before dessert and then rejoined a bit later, and while dessert was very lovely my asshole older brother started making asshole comments and like....objectively it was nothing, I know it was nothing, but it just makes me so damn mad when he says does things like laughing at me and then saying “oh please, Rachel would be a terrible lawyer for (specific area of law” and I really just wanted to get up and punch him and like.....I hate this so much because I so want to be at a point where stupid little things like that don’t get under my skin, but honestly the stupidest little jerk comments just trigger all these emotions in me because this, and much, much worse, happened for so many years, and when he does it now it’s like I’m right back there, living a life I desperately wanted to get out of any way possible- any way at all. Of course it only got worse from there, because we were talking about job shit and my parents were pulling more of this “well you’re just going to come to New York even though you’ve told us like 12 times on this trip that you want to stay in Illinois” and just like the fact that they really don’t seem to give a damn about how I feel about major decisions in my life and that’s really infuriating. And then of course the friend of my father’s came up in conversation and it was the guy who posted the creepy comment about “smiling” on my facebook photo and I said so, and then of course nobody took me serious at all, they’re all laughing and making fun of me for even being creeped out about this and it was surely not what he intended, and I mean, of course I held back that like 10 years ago when I was 16 he messaged me late at night a few times and asked me creepy invasive questions, so one damn comment of “smile” (which is bad enough tbh) meant a whole lot more than that. So I was kinda pissed over them still refusing to take anything I feel into account, they just laugh every time I get upset and mad and I really just want to fucking punch them and be told my feelings are valid for once in my fucking life, for fucking ONCE for one of them to be sorry for something they did to me, fucking tortured me, and the word “sorry” never came to their lips about it, and they think they never did anything wrong, and if I tried to bring it up I would only be mocked and shit on more, and I’m just like I’m done with this. However, within and in between all of this happening, my dad decided the best way to get me to stay in New York would be for them to basically adopt Jess (and I mean, he ain’t wrong) and move us both out here, like he's legit getting in contact with people who might know of teaching jobs because my dad is fucking wild okay. And there is currently at least one semi-viable lawyer position open on LI right now so I mean I’ll see what happens there. My parents seem to be of the opinion that I should stay in NY even if I don't have a job lined up because I’ll get one eventually but like, that’s the exact same situation as Chicago, except I have way more contacts there and dad’s contacts have been totally unsuccessful up to this point, Sigh. This is long, Guess I had a lot to say. After dessert we pretty much retreated to my room and spent the rest of the night in here, with my dad coming in two times setting up information about jobs for both of us, and like, I told Jess before we got here my parents were probably pay her rent if I asked them too, and they definitely proved that this weekend. We didn’t really do anything else before getting ready for bed, so that’s about it. I am super super tired and we fly out early tomorrow morning (not like 6 am thankfully, but 8:30 flight still means I have to get up at six, so I am officially ending this post here so I can actually shut my eyes before the do some involuntarily. Goodnight babes. Stay gorgeous,

[theday]

all for the ask memes k thnx, im looking forward to the quality content 👏👏👏👏👏👏

 falen already asked me some and i answered those here thank u so much 4 asking jen i hate u but also i love u

OK! Ready: are you looking forward to anything at the moment?

oh worm the new pokemon game lads

Innocent Love: do you remember your first crush? what was it like?

this made me laugh oh fuck again so i was like. 10 and i got a crush on this guy and it lasted for 3 years bc we were in the same class for the next 3 years rip me! but i was so fucking annoying honestly im so glad i managed to Not be like that again with my next few crushes though ofc i was still annoying 2 those and thankfully i am a changed person and honestly i just shouldnt have any crushes bc ill be annoying even if i have learnt from my Bad Past ufhfhhis

god this is is so embarrassing but when i was like 12 someone told him i liked him and i was like bitC????? and u kno normal drama shit my best friend at that time also liked him and i was like !!!!!! wow!!!!! ok!!!!!! and shit happened u know thank fuck i graduated from primary school and i never see them again 

i would send him like o*e dir*ct**n songs bc they had the [redacted] songs and essentially i would send him songs that made me think of him but we werent even friends so he never replied its so fucking funny im gna die i hate that im never talking abt it ever again

Morning Call: what time do you usually sleep and wake up?

its the holidays but i still sleep at 11pm lmofsinwij and i wake up slightly later at 9am it used to be 10am but i hate waking up later than 9am so

Puss in Boots: do you have any pets? (if you don’t, which animal would you want as a pet?)

i want a bird or cat or dog or fish or that!!! one!!! x animal i forgot the name but its kind of like a frog but flatter??? and it has like fins on the sides of its face??? its like :0 ?????? whats the animal someone hmu

Breathless: name the last thing that took your breath away

dare i say it?????????????????? minhyuk which one??? who knows

Polaris: name a place you’d like to go to and an idol you’d like to go there with

omg i instantly thought of amusement park bc i keep remembering the first episode of monsta x’s right now  gdhidnnj so id like 2 go with with hrmrmrmrmmm……… im gonna cry the first person i thought of was minhyuk

Growing Pains: how tall are you?

. 154 cm……….. sanha cant relate 

Confession: imagine your ub confessing to you - how would they do it?

this question is cancelled i dont have an ub and im not gonna list 18 whole scenarios 

Lonely: would you rather be alone with your ub or surrounded by your bias group?

surrounded by my bias group aka all 3 i love living the no bias life 

Star: what’s your star sign?

capricorn same as chae hyungwon and i will never shut up abt that fact bc it makes me happie

Again: top astro ships (doesn’t have to be romantic)

binu

socky

binjin???

Cotton Candy: compare any idol to a dessert 

rocky is warm like lava cake :-0 idk lmfao

You & Me: favourite line from any astro song

oooo weEEEEEEE 

but for real umMMmm i havent actually watched any lyric videos for astro lmao um,,,,,,, so easy to love you??? from csc idk its nice and i wanted to change my bio to that but thats 2 mch effort

Baby: if you could drink out of any of the dream bottles, which would you pick?

give me a second to watch th e baby mv agani 

ok itll be the aroha one bc its probably grape flavoured and the safest 2 consume

Dreams Come True: what do you wish for the most at this point in time?

have i answered this … i want day6 to win that best band performance award BLEASE i thought about how hard they worked and then saw that theyre losing and i almost cried idk much about cnblue so i cant say for sure but i know day6 and theyve worked so fucking hard this year with everyday6 and just?? holding concerts every month and!!!! fuck please if they dont win ill cry and now i just feel so fucking bad bc i couldve voted everyday but i didnt 

Every Minute: you’ve only five minutes left to live. which astro mv would you watch again?

csc bc i need to stream it…….

Lie: if you could watch astro perform one song live, which song would it be?

AGAIN

butterfly: what song do you relate to each member of astro and why?

hRMM (based on the nature of the song itself since i dont know the lyrics also assuming we use astro songs)

myungjun - cat’s eye bc of the the egg……. (also cant believe that video was a year ago tf) also dreams come true bc of his oWWEOOWOOWOoo

jinwoo - confession bc whenever rocky and jinjin rap together i live 2 see another day?? and you smile bc i love jinjins smile :_) and he was jamming out 2 it during the jincha radio 2

dongmin - who is this dreams come true because during the most recent jincha radio didnt jinwoo say smth like… eunwoo this is ur song…idk….

bin - crazy sexy cool since it was said the song was originally meant to be his solo song oh confession for bin too bc every time he says “Hey baby geu ael ijeo” i hear jelly instead thanks jinjin

minhyuk - run because rocky!!! singing!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and fireworks bc he choreographed the dance?? iirc…. fuck lets not forget every minute.. iconic.. i love his rap in it

sanha - baby bc hes a babie and he always does the soda sound and dances its so funnie and cute what a loser lmao oh or cotton candy bc the song is rly soft and cute in general??? 

ok thats all bc if i dont stop now ill never shut up….. but searching for the links made me realize how mnay songs they have that have the same title as justin b*eber like… bin please calm urself

run: who do you turn to / what do you do when you’re stressed?

when im stressed i just dont think about it LOL so in the end i dont rly talk abt the reasons for my stress????? if i do itll be 2 falen 

crazy sexy cool: attach your favourite meme of astro

i,,,,,,,,,,,,?????????? my minds blank this is too much its not rly a meme but jinwoo saying its me during that one thing is always so funny 2 me and bell wont shut up abt it so i think abt it like every day