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hutchhitched · 4 years ago

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Walk Back

Written by: @hutchhitched

Prompt 143: The girl of my dreams asked me if I needed a ride home from campus so I obviously let her drive me home then walked back to campus a couple of hours later to get my car. [submitted by anonymous]

Ratings/Warnings: G

A/N: I’m continuing to post the nine @everlarkficexchange prompts I took and then sat on throughout the early months of the pandemic. This is the sixth of the nine. Thanks for your patience, and I hope you enjoy. Huge thanks to @javistg for understanding the delays. Only three more to go!

Peeta Mellark knows he’s got it good compared to a lot of people. He really does, but that doesn’t stop him from wallowing in pity every once in a while. He’s in college, the first in his family, on a hefty scholarship; his grades are good; he has a lot of friends and a good work study job that actually does give him some time to study. Those are all good things. They really are, and he doesn’t dispute it, but…

He’s also had a rough home life with a mom who’s never satisfied with anything he does and a father who loves him but can’t stand up to his wife long enough to protect his three sons from her emotional abuse. He’s a first-generation college student who’s excelling in courses for his major but isn’t doing so great in all his other general education courses. He has to work a lot more than he should for someone with his course load. Worst of all, though, he’s madly in love with a woman who likely doesn’t know his name. Well, that’s probably not true, but still. She’s certainly not crazy about him the way he is mad for her.

There’s just no way Katniss Everdeen, fellow Panem University student and the smartest girl in his biology lab, would ever give him the time of day. Not when she already has a boyfriend, Mr. Tall, Dark, and Rugged, who’s about to graduate with a promising career. That’s unlike Peeta, an art major. He’ll never amount to anything, or so his mother likes to remind him every time he’s stupid enough to visit his family.

Besides, Katniss is beautiful and sassy and shy and so many other wonderful things. She has no idea the effect she has on him or any other male within a mile radius, including their biology professor who’s proclaimed her the most brilliant student he’s had in his twenty-two years of teaching. Peeta spends the better part of their class together watching her from across the room, which is probably why his lab partner hates him and his grade in that class absolutely sucks.

So, while Peeta knows he’s got some things going for him, it’s not surprising that he finds himself a little down in the dumps occasionally—especially on days when his crush shows up at his workplace. It’s even worse when his co-worker knows about his hopeless infatuation and has no shame. Johanna Mason may be his least favorite person on days like that. Today happens to be one of those days. He’s cursing his life when Jo comes up behind him and leans down to whisper in his ear.

“Oooooooooh ooooooh. Katniss is pretty, isn’t she? Look at her over there. So serious. What do you think she’s getting ready to check out, and is there any way to make it sexual when gets over here?”

“Shut up, Jo,” Peeta hisses as his cheeks flush, and he curls into himself, trying to hide behind the circulation desk so Katniss won’t see him.

The last thing he wants is for the girl he’s been crushing on for months to hear his co-worker tease him about his hopeless attraction. The problem is that he told Johanna in a fit of self-loathing, and she coached him through it, built him up so his ego was a little higher than the floor and prepared him some for what to say to a girl when he likes her. While it was very kind of Jo to offer, Peeta isn’t that hopeless. He’d had a number of girlfriends in high school, but none of them compare to Katniss Everdeen. She is a goddess.

“What time’s your shift done today, hot buns?”

“Don’t call me that! What is wrong with you?” he hisses. “Why are you so terrible?”

“Terrible? I’m trying to get you laid, buddy. It’s certainly never going to happen if I leave you to your own devices, although I’m sure you’re taking care of yourself plenty. You’re a guy, after all.”

Peeta’s face floods with heat, and he wants to slide onto the floor and hide behind the counter. She’s not wrong—he is a healthy, twenty-one-year-old man who hasn’t dated in a while—but Peeta doesn’t want his co-worker to know that. She’ll probably tell the whole world if he confirms what she suspects. Or say something to Katniss, which would be horrifying.

“Why do you want to know?” he asks, suspicious.

“Knowledge is power, my friend. Knowledge is power.”

Still not convinced, he welcomes a patron and scans the student ID he’s handed. “Exactly ten minutes,” he mutters as he types in the bar codes of the pile of library books in front of him before sliding them across the counter. It’s almost midterm, so everyone’s trying to finish projects and bibliographies for research papers before they leave for spring break. The library’s been slammed for days.

“She’s on her way over here,” Johanna nudges him.

He whips his head up, and his eyes widen as he realizes Jo’s right. Katniss pages through a book as she strides toward the circulation desk. Johanna turns to busy herself with a pile of returned books, and he squeezes his legs together under the desk. If he can just stop his hands from shaking, things will be great.

“Hi, Peeta,” she says with a guarded smile as she hands him her student ID. “How’s it going?”

“K-katniss! Hi!” His voice squeaks, and he cringes internally. He sounds like an idiot. “It’s good. I’m good. How are you?”

“Fine. I’m fine.” She hands him her student ID, and he glances down at the book she set on the counter.

“History of Sculpture? That’s…”

She laughs wryly and nods. “Yeah, I know. I’m not sure how I managed to get myself into it, but I signed up for an art appreciation class. I have zero artistic ability, so it’s painful.”

“Oh,” he says. “That’s…yeah.”

Johanna snorts behind him, and he tosses her a warning look. He should have known better. The woman doesn’t have a tactful bone in her body. Instead, she comes to stand behind Peeta and surveys Katniss.

“You know, Peeta here is an art major,” Jo announces with her hand on his shoulder. “I bet he could help you with your art appreciation class. He’s great at that kind of stuff.”

“Are you really?” Katniss asks, her eyes widening in pleased surprise. “I didn’t know that.”

“I am,” he confirms. “I’m more of a painter than anything else, but I know quite a bit about all the different media. It’s kind of in the curriculum for my major.”

She looks impressed, but she shakes her head as she picks up her book and tucks her ID into her pocket. “I couldn’t ask you to help, but that’s cool. I thought you were a biology major like me.”

Johanna smacks him on the back, and he glares at her before wiping his expression clean and flashing a closed mouth grin at Katniss. When nobody says anything, Katniss turns to go.

“Nonsense!” Jo cries. “Peeta’d be happy to help. I’m sure there’s something you could do for him to repay his generosity.”

He swears under his breath and elbows Jo in the gut.

“Oh, I don’t think there’s anything I have that Peeta wants—”

“A ride home?” Jo interrupts. “Peeta’s car’s in the shop. He asked me for a ride, but his shift is over now, and I’ve got another two hours before I can leave. Poor guy. He’d really appreciate the lift.”

Relief colors her face, and she nods. “I’d be happy to do that. My car’s on the street. I snagged one of those metered ones that are always full. Must be my lucky day.”

“Oh, I’d say it certainly is,” Jo says, a wide self-satisfied smile plastered on her face. She practically shoves him out of his chair and adds, “Peeta, why don’t you go clock out. I’ll finish this up for you.”

“I can—”

“No, you can’t. You’re too close to hours. Besides, you wouldn’t want to keep Katniss waiting, now would you?”

“You really are the devil, aren’t you?” he hisses as he grabs his stuff. “My car’s in the parking garage, not the shop. What the hell are you doing?”

“Getting you some time alone with the girl of your dreams,” she explains with a withering look. “Now, let her give you a ride home so you can schmooze her.”

Still disgruntled, he shuffles to the door and meets Katniss on the steps. She shifts uncomfortably, tugging on her braid and hunching her shoulders. He wonders if she’s trying to hide or if she’s cold in the chill of the early spring day.

“I really appreciate this,” he says.

She nods and leads him to her car. “No problem. It’s the least I can do.”

“You don’t have to do anything at all.”

She’s silent as she starts her car. Hesitating, she glances over at him and asks, “Does that mean you don’t want to tutor me? I understand if you don’t. It’s asking a lot for someone you barely know, especially since I can’t really afford to pay you.”

“Except in rides.”

“Well, yeah. I can do that.” She smiles at him tremulously and shifts the car into gear. Glancing over her shoulder, she signals and pulls out of the parking spot and onto the street.

“You could help me in bio,” he blurts and his cheeks heat.

“Really?”

He cringes and shrugs. “Yeah. I can’t seem to get the hang of it. I think I’m one of those people that understands it in theory but not in practicality. I’m doing fine in the lecture, but lab is really confusing.” He doesn’t add that most of that is her fault, but not really, because he can’t stop mooning over her.

“I can do that.”

He glances at the pleased curve of her lips and wonders how he can make it happen again. The joy of seeing her happy sinks into his bones and gives him life. It’s ridiculous, but it’s true. He has no reason to think he should except common human decency matched with his overwhelming crush. He feels like a middle school boy who’s just figured out that girls and boys have different parts.

Katniss stops at the intersection and glances over at him. Bashful, she admits, “I don’t know where I’m going.”

Peeta’s eyebrows furrow and he motions out the windshield. “South?”

“No,” she answers with a nervous laugh. “I mean, I don’t know where you live.”

He’s an idiot. Of course she doesn’t know where he lives. “Sorry! Sorry. Turn left here. I wasn’t thinking.”

“If you want…”

“If I want?” he prods.

“Well, maybe, if you don’t mind, that is.” She clears her throat and then words burst from her in a torrent. “I know a coffee shop that no one else really goes to. It’s quiet and the coffee’s good. They know me there, and I have a table they kind of save just for me. If you wanted to go over some of this sculpture stuff today, that’d be a good place.”

“Oh. Okay,” he answers, fighting to keep his face clear of the glee he feels. Katniss Everdeen just asked him to go out with her. Well, she asked him to go somewhere with her, but that was more than he’d dreamed would happen any time he imagined actually speaking to her. Not only is he going to sit at the same table with her in a public place, but he’s at her mercy with transportation. She’s got him captive, and he approves.

“Maybe I can take a look over your lab notes with you, too. You know, if you want.”

Oh, he wants. That’s never been in question. He absolutely wants when it comes to Katniss Everdeen.

“That’d be great. Really great.”

The place itself is an independent coffee shop in an older area of town called The Seam. The properties tend to be more run-down than those closer to campus, but the café is cozy and humble and has great choices in both coffee and tea. He chooses a black peppermint he’s loved since his father made it for him when he was sick. His father had also snuck cookies to Peeta despite the disapproval of his mom. He adds sugar before taking a sip that transports him back to childhood. He breathes in as he swallows and blows out a heavy sigh.

Amused, Katniss asks, “That good?”

Nodding, he inhales the aroma and smiles softly. “Yeah. It’s that good. Thanks for bringing me here.”

Pleased, Katniss drops her head and shuffles in her bag for the book on sculpture and her class notes. They work together for over an hour before reviewing information from their biology lab. He finds she’s a good tutor, knowledgeable and skilled at breaking down the concepts into sizable chunks that seemed overwhelming previously. When he compliments her on it, she waves him off but returns the sentiment.

“I already feel like I appreciate art more.”

“Glad I could help.”

“That doesn’t mean you’re off the hook, though,” she teases. “I’ll still need you after break’s over, but I think I can pass the final now, anyway.”

He shivers at her claiming she’ll need him. It’s closer to genuine interest than anything he’s ever gotten from her, and it gives him a small thrill of hope.

Reluctantly, she packs up her bag and sighs. “I really need to get home, but this was fun.”

“Yeah, I should be getting back, too. Got a lot to do before bed.”

They’re quiet as they slide into the car. Contemplative, Peeta almost forgets to provide instructions so Katniss knows where to take him. As he guides her through unfamiliar streets that turn into those he sees every day, he sends silent thanks to Johanna for her brashness and refusal to let things go. He only hopes he doesn’t have a ticket on his car when he retrieves it—hopefully before it’s towed.

“This is it,” he says with a wave at his front door. None of his roommates are home, which means he’s stuck until they return. He doesn’t want to say goodbye, but she’s antsy, unsure what to do with her hands or where to look. “Thanks again for the ride. Come find me at the library after break, and we’ll do a repeat of tonight.”

“Sounds great,” she says warmly. “Hope you get your car back soon.”

“Yeah, me too,” he grumbles.

He watches her leave, lifting his hand in farewell until her car turns the corner and heads back the way she came. Fishing his cell out of his pocket, he sends his roommates a group text asking when they’ll be home and if one of them can give him a ride back to campus. As each of them gives a reason for their absence, he realizes he’s on his own. He does stow his bag inside and grab a drink before heading back outside. Squaring his shoulders, he shoves his hands in his jacket pockets and begins the walk back.

It takes an hour, and he does have a parking ticket. Still, Peeta has no regrets. The afternoon with Katniss was the best of the year with the promise of more to come. She’s worth the inconvenience.

#everlarkficexchange #springtime edition 2020 #prompt 143 #everlark #everlark fanfiction #peeta mellark #katniss everdeen #walk back

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whoreforthebauteam · 4 years ago

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My biased bisexual opinion on the BAU team (because I'm a sap and I require romance(with song inspiration)

Penelope Garcia: the cutest. I'd love her and hug her and cuddle, we'd go to farmers markets for veggies and pet stores so that all the animals feel loved. Id listen to her rant on about anything she wants and id braid her hair and make her feel beautiful when she doesn't believe it. We'd live in a nice cottage and adopt sad/hurt/disabled animals (because they deserve to be spoiled) and spend our lives in cute and sweet Sapphic love. (Song: Mary Lambert, She Keeps Me Warm)

Spencer Reid: how healing it is to be known. He'd remember all of my little quirks and I'd try everyday to remember his. Make his coffee perfect. We'd go to libraries and coffee shops and museums. I'd listen to him read, info dump, if he wanted to read me a book on the history on Scandinavian footwear I would be all to pleased.. And when he's craving, when everything feels wrong, we'd but on pajamas and lay in bed and I'd run my fingers though his hair and I'd read to him until it's okay again.. We'd share a true and intimate intellectual romance. One not of the body or skin, but of the soul and mind. (Song: Norah Jones, Come Away With Me)

Emily Prentiss: We'd be strong, happy, boisterous with our love because the depths of which our hearts are intertwined could never be kept quiet. We'd have adventures and millions of memories to grow old with. Traveling abroad and living life to the fullest extent. When memories creep up, when traumas arise, it'd be music because silence is too much, it'd be hiding from the world and napping until we physically can't nap anymore, it'd be soft words. You're good. You're beautiful. You're strong. You're loved. And on quiet days, no plans or appointments or worries or trauamas, we'd spend the day memorizing everything about each other. She'd sing to me in foreign languages and I'd write poems on her skin. We'd share a love and bond so profound and endless that the ancients would write our story and call us goddesses. We would are mortal, but our love would live on forever. (Song: John Meyer, Your Body's A Wonderland)

Derek Morgan: We'd laugh, stay up late making fun of shity horror movies (and each other for jumping). We'd workout together, race each other. We'd go out clubbing and show each other off. And on bad days, it'd be soup. It'd be lots of soft blankets and sad old movies and the pure comfort of being held. We'd visit his family and when Mrs. Morgan brings up grandbabies... next subject. We'd be best friends, love would just be an extra. (Song: Kyd The Band, American Dreamer)

Jenifer Jureau: We'd be the moms. Sleep overs held in the living room. Always having snacks. Involved and supportive of our babies (the team included) We'd sing in the car, throw flower at each other while cooking. Embarrasse the kids when we pick them up from school. And when its just us, we'd sit together and play on our phones or watch TV and just enjoy being close. No real need for physical touch, just the warmth of presence. On bad days, itd be drawing baths and family cuddle puddles. Holding on while one of us breaks down. It'd be family and solid love. A foundation of hope. Acceptance. Us against the world. (Song: Aerosmith, I Dont Wanna Miss A Thing)

David Rossi: How beautiful it would be to be loved quietly. Not having to ask for affection because you're already getting it. No need to say you don't like onions, its already taken care of. But when words are needed... you'll have them. It'd be cooking together, disagreements about wine, quiet nights spent reading. A date, simple and at home, candles and slow circling dances. It'd be the safe and comfortable love of two people who know everything there is to know about each other. It'd be small gestures on bad days, reassurance when there's doubt, gentle love when there's old fears. It'd be Hollidays spent with an overflowing home and heart. Itd be peace and love and home. A warmth you can't fabricate. (Song: Louis Armstrong, La Vie en Rose)

Aaron Hotchner: How do you mend a broken heart? How do you hush all the fears of becoming what made you? With love. I'd know all of his fears, he'd know mine. I'd be holding him at night when his past comes after him. He'd hide the knives when everything's too much for me. It'd be reassurance that, yes, you're loved. Yes, you are good. Yes, horrible things have happened to you but my love, you're strong. It'd be random kisses because we can't believe the other is real. It'd be watching kids movies with Jack because, how could we not? How could we not take every second of peace that we can. It'd be sitting in Jack's room, because he's finally asleep and he looks so young and peaceful and innocent and nieve. We'd vow to keep him from ever knowing what it's like to cry yourself to sleep. We'd never be whole, or fully healed. But we'd never be alone again. (Song: Death Cab for Cutie, I'll Follow You Into The Dark)

#david rossi #aaron hotchner #criminal minds #criminal minds headcanons #emily prentiss #jennifer jareau #spencer reid #penelope garcia #derek morgan #angst?#comfort #love #family #the bau team #im so bi #want them all #love them all #oops i projected usuing aaron hotchner again...

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lyssismagical · 4 years ago

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moments of gold and flashes of light

Parkner Week Day 3: “I am very small and I have no money.” / college au / no-powers au

(This is like a Rhodey/Tony!MIT Parkner AU)

(TW: Implied Child Abuse)

Working at a café on the outskirts of a college campus meant good business, decent tips, and weird hours. A good job for Harley who needs to work weird hours to keep up with his classes, and he makes enough to afford essentials and to keep his head above water in the debt.

It also means he sees a lot of very tired students at those strange hours.

He gets an elbow in the ribs from his coworker, Cassie, who points across the café at an occupied table.

“An order?” Harley asks, forehead creasing. They don’t normally take orders from tables.

“No, we have a policy about sitting in here without ordering. I need you to ask him to either buy something or leave before our boss notices,” Cassie says. She glances down at her watch, frowning at the time. “There’s only a few hours until we’re done, anyways.”

Harley hates the policy. It makes sense why they have it, they’re going to lose a lot of business if the café is always full but nobody’s buying anything, but it doesn’t make it any easier to kick tired teenagers out in the middle of the night.

He sighs and lets Cassie take over the registers as he makes his way to the boy at the table, straightening his deep purple apron as he goes.

“Excuse me?” he says, wincing when his voice cracks.

The boy at the table’s head jerks up, eyes wide behind a thick pair of glasses. He looks young, younger than most people Harley sees coming into the café, but he’s hunched over a stack of textbooks and papers, what looks like a year three astrophysics textbook on top. There’s no way he’s old enough to be in his third year of university.

“Yeah?” the boy asks. He tips his head to the side in question, the light hitting his face and showing off the deep, dark bags under his eyes.

“We have a policy here, you have to buy something to stay.”

The boy winces, hands patting the pockets of his jeans. He pulls out an old wallet, faded Stark Industries logo on the back barely visible, and pops it open.

He rifles through the things in his wallet, dropping a few on the table including a library card, a Booster Juice loyalty card, and a Stark Industries ID. He finds a dollar bill, but otherwise comes up emptyhanded.

“Shit, sorry, I don’t have any money,” the boy says, eyes wide and glassy. He grabs his backpack from between his feet and starts going through the pockets, but they seem just as empty. “I’m so sorry, I guess I used the rest of my cash on rent, and I don’t- I’ll just pack up and head home, no worries-”

“You like coffee?” Harley blurts before he can stop himself. It’s not like he really has much leeway with his budget, but a couple dollars for an obviously stressed, very cute boy seems like a good investment. “I’ll cover it for you. Give me just a moment.”

As soon as he gets a confirming nod, he heads back to where Cassie’s working, and makes a quick coffee with extra caramel, and digs out his wallet to drop a few dollars in the register.

“You’re buying coffee for him?” she says, amused and shaking her head.

He shrugs, looking over his shoulder at where the boy is still watching him with his wide, doe eyes. “He had a third year astrophysics textbook. I felt bad.”

Cassie laughs, rolling her eyes at him. “The store’s pretty quiet anyways. You should make yourself one too, and take a fifteen.”

Harley’s not about to pass up that opportunity, so he moves quickly to make himself a matching coffee, and then he heads back over to the boy.

“Mind if I sit?” he asks, sliding one of the coffees over to the boy. “I’m in my second year at MIT, so maybe I could lend you a hand? Or at least be a nice distraction?”

The boy smiles, nodding and gesturing to the chair opposite him. “I’m Peter Parker. Third year at MIT.”

“You seem… young.”

Peter laughs, fingers curling around his coffee with a pleased hum. “Yeah, I’m eighteen. Graduated high school at fourteen, started here at fifteen.”

Harley’s jaw drops open in surprise. He’s nineteen, and in the year below Peter. It’s a bit of a shock. “You’re graduating university at nineteen? Isn’t that a bit scary?”

“I’ve got a job lined up at Stark Industries in New York. I’ve been an unpaid intern every summer for four years, so it’s not as scary as you’d think.” He looks down at his homework, textbooks and binders and loose papers, and frowns. “Stressful, for sure. But scary, not so much.”

As much as he wants to comment on a lot of that, especially about how he’s apparently been interning for SI since he was thirteen, he doesn’t want to overstep any boundaries and he doesn’t have a lot of break left.

He sips at his drink, listening intently as Peter starts rambling about how annoying one of his profs had been the other day, the reason he’s up all night studying at the café. Peter’s pretty, especially when he gets passionate about something, eyes lighting up behind his thick frames, blush high on his cheeks, hands gesturing vaguely. Harley hasn’t made many friends since he left Tennessee, only Cassie and Kate from an off-campus extra-curricular. Peter seems like the kind of person Harley would really enjoy being friends with.

“Harley!” Cassie calls out, much too soon for his liking. “Your fifteen’s up.”

Peter frowns noticeably, finishing off his coffee. “I’ll probably stick around for a bit, if that’s alright?”

“Yeah, of course. And come back whenever, yeah?”

“I’m sure I’ll be back in no time, in need of quiet and caffeine.”

* Turns out, Peter’s not lying. He starts showing up every Thursday night and every few Wednesdays like clockwork, always with his old backpack filled with books and binders, and always with enough for a coffee to make sure he can stay.

Whenever Harley takes his fifteen, he spends it at Peter’s table, sitting across from him and chatting about anything and everything. They trade numbers after three weeks, texting every so often whenever they’ve got the chance. It’s nice to have finally made a friend outside of Gwen and Kate. (Especially a friend as kind and pretty and genius as Peter Parker.)

“Everything okay?” Harley can’t help but ask when Peter shows up, nearly two months after meeting.

Peter’s the same as he always is, backpack slung over one shoulder making his posture lopsided, eyes wide behind his pair of thick glasses, hands shoved into the pocket of his oversized MIT sweater, buying a coffee with extra caramel. Except his eyes are red-rimmed and his voice is thick and scratchy like he’d been crying.

Peter shrugs, shoulders hunched up around his ears. “Not really. When do you take your fifteen?”

“He’s taking it right now,” Cassie buts in, elbowing Harley in the ribs. She’s already got Peter’s coffee ready, sitting on the counter, and she’s pouring a second for him. “Take your thirty, I’ll cover for you.”

Harley won’t argue with that, wanting to comfort his new friend. He links their arms together and heads for one of the booths in the far corner instead of their usual table, worry squeezing his chest. It’s only been two months but he cares about Peter a lot. More than he thought possible.

“It’s stupid,” Peter says, but he clutches his drink close to his chest, eyes watery and hands trembling. “My parents want me home for Winter Break.”

“So?”

Harley would kill to be able to afford a flight home to Tennessee for Winter Break. He has to save up all year just to afford making it home for the summer, winter and spring breaks have to be spent on campus or with Gwen who has an apartment in the city. He misses his mom and sister like crazy when he’s away for so long.

Peter scoffs, glassy eyes rolling. “They suck. I’m sure you’ve heard of Richard and Mary Parker before. Yeah, they’re not about to get Parent of the Year awards.”

“Why not?” Harley asks. He certainly knows the two of them, they’re famous scientists, alumni from MIT as well. It’s hard not to know them. “If you don’t mind me asking, of course.”

“They don’t care, they never did. Most of my childhood was spent with nannies or babysitters while they were out for business or other things they wouldn’t tell me about. The only time they ever cared was when they were telling me off for blemishing their reputation, or to tell me I needed to work harder if I was ever going to be allowed to get their company.”

Harley frowns, trying to empathize with his pain. He’s never been in a situation like that. In Rose Hill, you could get away with doing pretty much anything, nobody had reputations at stake, consequences were few and far between. Harley once landed himself in jail for a stupid night with people who weren’t really friends. Nobody cared, Harley even became pretty good friends with one of the officers who arrested him. His mom didn’t even have to pay to get him out.

“That really sucks, I’m sorry,” Harley says.

Peter shrugs again, chewing on his bottom lip. “I got a B on a test in astrophysics a month ago.”

“I remember.”

“They’re going to kill me for that. A B is essentially an F in my house. To them, I failed.”

Harley’s frown deepens and he reaches across the table to grab Peter’s hand. “You studied so hard for that test, you were sleep-deprived and upset because of that argument with your roommate. That wasn’t your fault. And either way, a B’s still a good grade.”

“Not to my parents, it’s not.”

“Why does their opinion matter? You’re an adult, they don’t have to control you anymore.”

Peter lets out a humorless laugh, eyebrows furrowing as he tries not to cry. “I don’t have a choice. I have to go home for the holidays and I have to take over their company and I have to do what they tell me to do. They control my money, they pay for my tuition, they’re all I’ve got. I don’t have anything else.”

“I’m sorry,” Harley says again, he doesn’t know what else he’s supposed to say, doesn’t know how to make this any easier for him. “Well, if you need anything, feel free to call. I’ll be here all Winter, so I’ll be available to talk if you need to.”

“Thank you.” Peter’s voice breaks and he doesn’t catch the tear in time for Harley not to see it. “I honestly don’t know what I’d do without you. It probably looks like it, but I’m not just using you for coffee.”

Harley smiles, squeezing Peter’s hand. “And I promise I’m not using you for answers to future tests. You may be a genius, but I’m not a cheater.”

“Good because I have a proposition. I only leave on Saturday, and I need an extra set of hands to pack up my dorm room? My roommates already gone, so it’ll just be us and we could watch some movies afterwards? If not, don’t worry about it-”

Harley grins, finishing off his coffee. “I’d love to. Tomorrow afternoon? I have the day off work, but I’ve got a class until two, so I’ll come over after that?”

“Sounds perfect.”

* “I’m going to miss you,” Harley says, watching Peter make a little pile of the bags they’d packed the night before from his bed. Peter’s got a mid-afternoon flight, so he needs to be out by noon. “That’s three Thursday nights without you at the café.”

Peter smiles softly, turning from where he’d set down his backpack at the door. “I’m going to miss you too. Three weeks and I’ll be back to bothering you all the time.”

Despite knowing it’s a joke, Harley rolls his eyes. “You’re never a bother.”

“I’ll call you? I live out in California, so I’ll try to remember the time zone differences, but don’t hate me if I accidentally call you in the middle of the night.”

Harley turns his head into the pillow, smiling dopily at Peter. “I told you, call me whenever. I want to hear all the gossip about your stupid parents.”

“Well there will be plenty of gossip, so be careful what you wish for.”

There’s a pause as the reality of everything sets in. Three weeks without each other after only two months together seems unfair. Harley’s going to miss Peter a lot. He’s been ignoring the crush that’s been festering over the past couple weeks especially. He doesn’t want to hurt their very new, budding friendship, especially not when Peter’s under so much stress as is, but last night, watching movies on Peter’s bed together on his laptop, it really solidified the crush.

“I should get going,” Peter says miserably. He slings his backpack over his shoulder again, glasses askew on his nose, dark circles under his red-rimmed eyes, hands shaking.

“You want me to drop you off instead of taking a cab? I wouldn’t mind driving. We probably even have time to stop for a quick coffee.”

Peter smiles brightly, big enough to show off his dimples and light up his eyes. Harley gets off the bed, taking off his red MIT sweater, leaving him in an old t-shirt from the diner his mom works at, and hands the sweater over to Peter.

He wants to say so you’ll remember me or a reminder you’re not alone but he can’t say it. Instead he says, “You look a bit cold.”

“Thanks,” Peter murmurs, flushing softly. Harley reaches out and straightens his glasses before slinging the duffel bag on the floor over his shoulder.

“Let’s get going then.”

Peter picks the music, old Disney movie soundtracks, and Harley drives, paying for coffees on the way to the Boston airport. They don’t say much, humming along to the music to keep from saying too much, but linking their hands together which says just as much.

When they get to the airport, Peter insists on Harley staying in the car.

“Three weeks,” Peter promises, blinking back tears.

Harley offers a smile, squeezing Peter’s hand. “Call me, it’ll feel like no time at all.”

The younger boy opens his car door and looks like he’s about to slip out of the car, but he turns back to Harley, eyes wide and glassy. He leans across the center of the car and kisses Harley hard.

“I’m sorry-”

Harley reaches over, cups Peter’s face and pulls him back in to kiss him again. “I really like you, like a crazy amount, I didn’t want to say anything because I love having you as a friend, but I do really like you.”

“I really like you too. I didn’t tell you but before you talked to me that one day, I was always going into your café just to see you but I didn’t think you noticed me.”

“You’re going to miss your flight,” Harley says, brushing his thumb over Peter’s cheekbone and frowning disappointedly.

Peter huffs out a breath, pushing open his door. “I’ll call you? We’ll talk about this?”

“Of course. Call me whenever,” Harley says, stealing one last kiss. “Go before you miss your flight.”

The younger boy grins so bright, finally slipping out of the car, backpack over one shoulder, leans back to blow a kiss, and then he’s gone.

Harley has to pause for a second, smiling up at the ceiling of his car, before he feels ready to leave the airport, and Peter, behind.

Three weeks.

* It takes a week and a half for Peter to call, and when he does, he’s crying.

“This sucks,” Peter starts, voice trembling and thick with emotion. “Being home sucks and missing you sucks and everything sucks.”

“Hi to you too, and merry belated Christmas.”

“Sorry, yeah, merry Christmas, happy holidays, hi, how are you, and all that. I wish I were in Boston so much.”

Harley lets out a short laugh, sprawling out on his bed, phone pressed against his ear. “I wish you were here too, if that helps. What happened?”

“My parents were totally pissed about my B like I knew they’d be. And when I tried to tell them about you because I was excited, they told me I’d find a nice girl to settle down with soon enough.” Peter chokes out a sob, voice tipping towards angry. “I know I’m bi, so maybe, but it’s not fair.”

“No, it’s not fair. Some people are like that. I remember coming out as gay in a small town in Tennessee, it wasn’t received very well.”

Peter sighs sympathetically. “I just- I don’t even want their company, you know? I want to work at Stark Industries like how I’d been interning, but I don’t have a choice. I’m the heir, the papers were signed, it’s mine as soon as I graduate so they can retire.”

“You’re a genius, and legally an adult, find a way to un-sign them. Or when you get jurisdiction, terminate the company. There’s still options, there’s still ways you can get where you want to be.”

“I know, I just- I don’t know. I wanna go home. I want to see you.”

Harley smiles softly to himself, shaking his head. “I know, I miss you too. But you’re halfway done, you can do it, and I’ll be there at the airport for you when you get back.”

“I know we said we’d talk about it but I really don’t think I can handle-”

“No, no, of course.” Harley doesn’t mind. He’s kind of liking this in-between stage they’re living in. Not dating, no labels, but definitely something more than friends. “In case you needed a confidence boost, you’re a genius. You’re the smartest person I know and I know a lot of people. According to Gwen, you’re the nicest person too, and I agree. You’re very sweet and kind. Plus, have you seen yourself? You’ve got a lot going for you.”

Peter laughs quietly, tears finally fading. “You’re too nice to me. Maybe being around you is going to make my ego too big.”

“I don’t think that’s possible,” Harley says, lightening up. “You’re too humble for that. Oh, I’m not supposed to tell you this, but apparently, Gwen did notice you first, and she purposefully sent me over to your table that first day.”

“Really?”

“Yep. She thought I was getting too lonely, after spending over a year in Boston and only making two friends, and not seeing anybody, so she was hoping something would happen between us, which I guess it did, so I owe her one.”

Peter laughs again, then goes quiet for a moment. “I need to get going soon. Dad’s taking me to meetings all afternoon. I hate going, people only see me as a stupid kid or as competition.”

“Prove them wrong, stand up for yourself, or at least get me on the phone so I can stand up for you.”

Far away from the door there’s a shouted, “Get your ass out of bed! We leave in thirty and if you’re tie’s on wrong and I have to reteach you, I swear to god, it’ll be the last thing you do!”

“Was that your dad? Threatening you?” There’s already a protective edge to his voice like Harley will fly all the way to California just to stand between Peter and his dad.

“They’re normally empty threats,” Peter offers like it’s no big deal. “He prefers yelling more than anything. Mom says he’d probably do worse if it weren’t for the cameras on us all the time.”

Harley’s mouth falls open, anger flooding through his chest like a wildfire. “You should stay with me this Spring Break and Summer. There’s plenty of extra space in Gwen’s apartment and in my childhood home. I don’t want you back there.”

“You’d want me around for that long?”

He nearly chokes in surprise. “Of course I would. I want you always, whenever. I don’t want you home again if I can help it. It’s obvious it’s not good for you.”

Harley doesn’t know how their relationship will fare, how they’ll be in two months, in six, he doesn’t know if he could convince Peter to stay away knowing the anger it would cause, he doesn’t know if it’ll be enough to keep Peter safe. But he knows he’d do anything to try.

“I’ve gotta go before my dad’s head explodes. I’ll call you as soon as I can and we’ll talk more about these plans, ‘kay? I miss you.”

“I miss you too. Only another week and a half left.”

* Harley has to wait at the airport for three hours because of a flight delay and the longer he waits, the more he itches to see Peter. They still haven’t talked, so Harley isn’t even sure if greeting him with a kiss is allowed, but he doesn’t know how much he cares. He’s been thinking about it for three weeks, lord knows Gwen’s losing her mind with his constant rambles about Peter, and he’s pretty positive Peter will be just as desperate.

He sends another text to Peter, letting him know the area he’s waiting in, and waiting to see if it switches to delivered which would mean he’s landed. It does and Harley can barely contain an excited squeal.

If I run, I can be there in 3

Harley sends back a quick, please, which goes unanswered.

He keeps half his attention on his watch, slowly ticking down, and half on the people walking around him, waiting for the mop of brown curls to make their appearance.

At two minutes, thirty seconds, he sees Peter.

“Peter!” he calls out, ignoring some of the dirty looks people shoot him, and lifting a hand into the air.

Almost immediately, the boy starts running faster down the last stretch of hallway, dropping his duffel a few feet away, before launching into Harley’s awaiting arms.

Harley has to take a few steps to rebalance them, arms winding around Peter’s waist and kissing him hard. Peter’s legs are around his waist, hanging onto him like a lifeline, hands in his hair. Eventually, Peter’s smiling too wide to continue kissing, pulling back to let out a giddy laugh.

“I missed you so bad. I know it was only three weeks and I know we’ve only known each other for a few months, but I really like you, and I didn’t think I would miss you as much as I did, but every day without you felt like a marathon. I don’t want to skip the conversation, but I just want to know that this is real,” Peter rambles.

Stealing another kiss, Harley tightens his grip on the younger boy. “Yes, god yes, I couldn’t stop thinking about you, every day for the past three months, and I want this to be real too. I want to be your boyfriend, I don’t care how soon or crazy it is.”

“My boyfriend,” Peter echoes, lighting up in a smile. He kisses Harley again and then hides his face in the crook of Harley’s shoulder, nodding. “Yes please. I would love that.”

They hold each other for a while longer. Long enough for the majority of the baggage pick-up to clear out, long enough for Harley’s knees to start cramping and his cheeks to hurt with how wide he’s smiling.

“I’m not letting you go back there,” Harley says because it feels necessary. “I’ll find a way for you to stay until you graduate.”

Peter smiles pulling back enough to kiss his forehead. “Good, thank you, I didn’t want to go back.”

“Time to go home, boyfriend?” Saying it makes Harley giddy with pure joy.

His mama’s going to freak when she hears about Peter, she’s only ever wanted what’s best for Harley, and Peter’s that. He’s the best for Harley. It doesn’t get better than him. And he’s going to do everything in his power to be the best for Peter too.

Taglist: @littlemissagrafina @spideygirl2003 @romeoandjulietyouwish @c-artara @shadedrose01 @likeaphoenix13 @pj-hermes-tonystark-obsessed @you-get-killed-walk-it-off @kitkatwinchester @emo-girl10 @justme--emily @hold-our-destiny @imalivebecauseirondad @spiderman-peterman @dykeragee @maryserrao @heeeyitskay {Let me know if you wanna be added or removed}

#lyss writes #parkner week 2020 #parkner #parkner fic #peter parker #harley keener #gwen stacy #coffee shop au #no powers au #harley keener/peter parker #oops this is unedited #also I know it's supposed to be day seven and i'm only on three #I'm sorry oops #I'm going to try to write another one for tonight and then two for the next two days and finish on monday #hopefully but don't hold me to that

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dontcallmecarrie · 5 years ago

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One Step Forward...

just realized that while I have quite a bit on Tony’s time in college for BDEL, it’s pretty general so here’s an attempt to remedy that. Bear in mind that there’s a timeline squish going on, otherwise things won't make sense.

Tony looked around the enormous lecture hall with wide eyes, practically vibrating in his seat. He knew he stuck out like a sore thumb, but he didn't care: his shiny new student ID was burning a hole in his pocket, his messenger bag was a near-clone of his neighbor’s, and in the next few minutes he’d start on the next chapter of his life.

This was the first time he’d set foot in an institute of higher learning, for the express purpose of learning. Sure, he still had to lay low, since Tony Stark was still #1 on America’s Most Wanted Missing Children [even if his twenty-second birthday came and went months ago, take a hint already Howard], and living with someone still getting used to the world after an involuntary ice nap, but...for the first time in his life, he could let loose.

Could finally poke at some of the things he’d been itching to try with like-minded individuals, could research and leaf through theses and journals without having to sneak around anyone who might be curious as to what a ten-year-old was doing with a textbook on fluid mechanics.

Child prodigies were easy to pick out; enterprising college students, though?

When everyone was broke and scrambling to stand out, especially in a university big enough for some of its courses to have upwards of 300 students, while also having some cool-sounding research going on?

Nobody’d look too closely at some freshman asking too many questions.

That’s what he was counting on, anyway.

The professor strode up to the podium, and Tony straightened up in preparation for his first day of college.

Mistakes were made.

Many, many mistakes were made.

Tony walked out of the latest round of exams with a bounce in his step, already thinking about whether or not he’d be able to make it to the guest lecture in time to find a seat...only to pick up the dark muttering of some of his classmates.

“Ugh, that was brutal and I think there was a typo somewhere in there because how—”

“—had like one slide covering it during lecture, why was it—”

“—an I’m going to fail, this stupid class is going to tank my GPA, fu—”

Some were almost in tears, some were fuming. More than a few were bleary-eyed, clearly having pulled an all-nighter cramming for the test that made up a good chunk of their grade.

Tony tried not to feel too guilty about wrecking the grading curve because he had no doubt he’d aced it, and had done the extra-credit question too just because he could and it’d seemed like a fun thought exercise.

Then he checked his watch, bit back a curse as he clutched at his messenger bag, and started to jog towards the building he’d seen on the flyer about public health talks.

Culver University had several of the typical crypids for a college campus: that one bookstore five minutes away with just about every book under the sun, that hole-in-the-wall restaurant that somehow managed to avoid getting written up for health code violations, that one professor who was always listed on the roster but hadn’t been seen since the first day of class.

However, not three months into the new academic year, a new cryptid was being added to the roster: Caffeine Rush Undergrad.

If Tony hadn’t known just what the hell he was doing, he would not have managed to secure a space for his research project. As it was, his obvious interest and experience in computer programming had been a plus, so even if he’d had to bullshit his way out of declaring a major while also convincing everyone he knew what he was doing— it was worth it.

He now had a bench dedicated to his work on cloud computing, and even if Culver didn’t know his end goal was getting JARVIS even more mobility than before on top of seeing what else he could do with what resources he now had at hand, well...this place was a goddamn candy store, alright?

Also, as a bonus he was now a familiar face to several departments he hadn’t quite gotten around to checking out, including a free pass to continue arguing with that one philosophy chair whenever office hours were slow and his code was compiling.

Caffeine Rush Undergrad had a name, presumably.

However, when looking at short freshmen and transfer students and seeing the only one in the room who looked actually excited about the upcoming exams, well...it was hard to remember to ask.

Tony met Bruce Banner and Betty Ross after he found some of their publications, and his glee at discovering that they were working on something a few wings away from his own bench was...something.

Not explosive, because he knew better than to attract the wrong sort of attention, but something.

Sure, they’d eyed him suspiciously at first, but after seeing he knew what he was doing and that he had no interest in stealing their research, they got along swimmingly!

Well, at least they didn’t treat him like a younger sibling the way Foster and Selvig did, anyway.

More like a second set of eyes, and even if Tony didn’t entirely get the finer points he was able to follow along well enough. Kind of like the way Bruce was a great rubber duck whenever he shared what he was doing with JARVIS, even if he sometimes seemed more than a little amused by the comparison.

Caffeine Rush Undergrad was like a goddamn puppy, all wide eyes and running around all the damn time, leaving behind towering stacks of books whenever he went to the library and sneaking into lecture halls for classes he wasn’t even in just to ask the speaker questions later.

It was impressive. And exhausting, and intimidating, especially when word got out that Caffeine Rush somehow had managed to secure a research position in one of the most competitive programs on campus.

...and then he disappeared after the Green Incident, which only cemented his notoriety.

Tony had two coffees in hand, one for Betty and one for Bruce, and nearly dropped both the moment he glimpsed General Ross in the hall, headed towards—

Oh.

He turned on a heel and ducked into the nearest office he could find, before Howard’s old golf buddy could spot him and risk putting two and two together.

“You didn’t tell me your old man was Thunderbolt Ross.” Tony said as he passed over a cup of now-lukewarm coffee. His voice wasn’t accusing; he was better than that. But his hands were this close to shaking, and there was a tension he couldn’t shake because he’d foolishly, naively assumed he was safe here, why had he—

“What’s wrong?” Bruce asked, eyes sharp and damn it he was slipping if some civilians could see it.

“Nothing.” Tony plastered on a smile, and shoved his cup in his direction as he mentally readied himself as to what he’d need to do now because if his mom hadn’t picked up chatter then they were okay, but...

Oh, right.

Geez, seeing Ross had really shaken him up. But his family was safe, and he had a plan and a story and he could bullshit with the best of them, he just had to get a grip.

Deep breath, steady hands. DUM-E was pressing against his leg in his messenger bag, while Butterfingers was a comforting weight in his jacket pocket. He could handle this.

“Nothing,” he repeated to their disbelieving looks, “it’s just that my mom was a... Vietnam protestor. She broke a lot of shit, and... may or may not have several warrants with her name still out there.”

He hated lying to his friends, but his family was on the line. Uncle James was still living with him, his mom didn’t need any more stress than she already had.

Also? It wasn’t actually a lie. Technically, his mom was a kidnapper. Jury was still out on the treason charges, though, because enough people counted her as a whistleblower that Howard hadn’t been able to get those charges to stick.

Bruce relaxed, but frowned in concern. “You recognized Betty’s father from that?”

Tony didn’t hide how awkward he was feeling now, after the fact. Especially because it was the truth, in a way. If only even weirder.

“There’s a strong resemblance going on, and he...mayormaynothavebeenlookingforherpersonally.”

Misleading? Yes. Did he regret it? Nope.

Betty shared a look with Bruce, then looked at the doorway and blanched before surging forward and shoving him behind her desk.

Fortunately, Tony knew enough to roll with it and so ducked and curled himself the best he could just as the footsteps got louder and General Ross’ voice came from the doorway.

“Oh, almost forgot— Banner? What are you doing here?”

Bruce’s shoes had a very distinctive squeak whenever he shifted his weight nervously. Tony’d noticed it before, but never quite like now.

“Hello, General Ross—” He started, before Betty cut in.

“Dad? I wanted to tell you this in person. I have a boyfriend.” She must have gestured or made a face, for the choked noise coming from Bruce’s side of the room and how did he get himself in these situations, seriously?

#By Dawn's Early Light #My writing #My fic #behind the scenes mini fic

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aliceslantern · 4 years ago

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Give/Take, a Kingdom Hearts fanfic, chapter 9

Ienzo has been too busy since the war to be overwhelmed by the past. But with little progress to be made in his work with Kairi, old nightmares start to invade.

Riku is a glorified housesitter. Lonely and faced with no choice but to wait for a way to find his friends, he eagerly accepts when Ienzo asks him to help do repairs around the castle. Before long, the two strike up an unlikely friendship, united by their dark pasts and their attempts to be better people.

But just as they begin to consider something more... Kairi wakes up.

Ienzoku (Ienzo/Riku), post-Melody of Memory, slow burn. Updates Thursdays until it's done.

Chapter summary: On different worlds, Ienzo and Riku write each other letters.

Read it on FF.net/on AO3

---

Ienzo,

Sorry for the radio silence over the past few days, but things have literally been so insane I haven’t had a minute to myself to write this note. My mom is barely letting me out of her sight--not that I can blame her. She goes between being outraged to dropping everything and hugging me. She wants to know everything, and I’m trying to tell her as much as I can, but still editing the most… incriminating parts until she’s ready. You understand. Even when I was home before we never got into it.

I haven’t even really had time to enjoy being home. I’ve had to see family, friends, and they all want to know where I’ve disappeared to. People all over town, too, want to know what happened and where I went. A lot of people assumed that I’d gotten myself killed.

Including my parents. That was, and still is, the hardest thing I’ve had to accept. Starting to grieve someone and just beginning to make progress only to learn they’re alive… I feel so guilty. Now I wish I’d gone back home during Kairi’s year of sleep, even for a little while.

I’ll tell you more about what happened, but I just wanted to… start to get a status update. “Any news?” How are you? How have you been? What are you and the guys up to?

Write soon,

Riku

Dear Riku,

Thanks for your text. Of course I understand how overwhelming everything must be, and this was an unusual homecoming. I just hope it’s been more joyful than bittersweet, though I fear it’s the latter. I’m hoping this transition becomes less of a traumatic one for you. And even if it is… well. I am an impartial ear.

Correction--a somewhat impartial ear. I will yell at, and/or make fun of, anyone who gives you grief.

Do tell me about Sora and Kairi. Things must be dazzling for Sora especially--I can only imagine what sort of journey he’s gone through, and I’m probably wrong. Hopefully the three of you get to spend some time together, just relaxing and being friends. It’s the least of what you deserve.

I, on the other hand, don’t have much worth reporting. I’m continuing to work with Aeleus and Dilan on the repairs, helping Even with his various little experiments. I’m trying to figure out where I would be most helpful, but that has been somewhat difficult. I’m sure you can sympathize. It’s finally starting to get warm again here.

If I ever quit faffing about and find something worth writing about I’ll let you know…

Yours,

Ienzo

---

Ienzo,

Ha ha. For some reason I don’t believe you’ve been as lazy as you said you’ve been. Though part of me hopes you have. You deserve a little rest too.

On the topic of rest…

Right after I got your letter the puppet strings that have been keeping me awake since I got home snapped. I fell asleep on the living room couch and didn’t wake up for thirty-six hours. Mom was hysterical; she thought something was really wrong with me and took me to the doctor (which, considering how long it’s been since I’ve been home for any length of time, was my pediatrician. Awkward.). But the doctor just said what I told her, that I just needed to sleep . And sleep, and sleep… maybe it’s my turn to sleep for a year. Ha ha.

Yeah, yeah. Spare me your lectures. I’ve been so wired that even when I tried, I couldn’t sleep.

Sora and Kairi are doing as okay as they can. Of the three of us, I think Kairi’s bounced back the quickest. She’s already talking about re-enrolling in school to catch up. Considering she’s the mayor’s daughter, it made the news when she got back. She’s like a celebrity, though because she’s Kairi and she’s perfect, she’s got it under control. I mean that with no sarcasm whatsoever.

Sora…

As you can probably tell by me skirting around the subject, Sora… isn’t completely okay. Physically, he’s fine. Healthy. But it’s… between the Keyblade War, and what he experienced alone while we were all, very briefly, dead (which, remind me to tell you about that if I haven’t, because it is a trip.). He’s been ALONE for so long. I’ve never seen him so shaken, and he’s so quiet . Talk to him and he tries to be all smiles, of course, but a few of us were at the beach and instead of being all up in the middle of it like he usually is, he was sitting aside… alone. Kairi’s been trying to gently pry, but he keeps saying he’s okay. A tired act I think all of us know well by now. Honestly, I’m not sure what to do. What kind of therapist here would get what he’s gone through, anyway? The most we can do is be there, and keep on top of him, and hope he heals and processes over time. Makes me feel like a shitty best friend, but the emotional stuff was never my forte.

Sleepily yours,

Riku

---

My sleepyhead,

Hopefully by the time you get this you’re actually conscious. You had a long ordeal. Physically, emotionally, of course you’re exhausted. I hope you’re actually listening to it instead of pushing through. Been there. Done that. It is not worth it. You’re probably also still growing, believe it or not. The human male keeps growing and developing until twenty-five, and unless my knowledge of Destiny Island’s time stream is way off, you’re not exactly there yet.

I’m glad Kairi is doing well, and taking all of that in stride. If it were me I would’ve thrown in the towel long ago. I think school would be good. A taste of normalcy. You three deserve to get back to your lives… whatever that means. Or at least rest a while before finding greener pastures elsewhere.

It’s disheartening, but not surprising, that Sora feels the way he does. Like I said, I can only imagine what he might have gone through. Though I don’t like it when you say you’re a shitty friend when I watched you struggle to save your friends for a literal year. You’re too hard on yourself, Riku. Being there, after everything else you did for him, is enough. Make sure to take time for yourself too. Though if Sora’s condition deteriorates, do let me know. I’ll see if I have any sort of psychological resource which might help him more than just a standard therapist with no notion of the greater World outside. Hopefully he’ll start to feel more himself once he settles back down.

This… very brief death occurrence you were referring to intrigues me. What was all that about? Fortunately it seems to not have stuck, but regardless, I felt my heart jump into my throat when I read it.

The others have been asking after you, Ansem especially. He says to “send his regards” and I promise it’s friendlier than it sounds.

I wonder, do you have sea salt ice cream where you are? It’s the height of summer and Scrooge McDuck is out. None of my cohorts here are willing to share. It’s been war.

Craving sea salt,

Ienzo

---

To the insatiable sweet tooth--

No, as a matter of fact, we do not have that particular sea salt ice cream here. If we want it, we have to go off-world. There are other, more native flavors which you might like, like dragon fruit or star fruit. (It’s mostly fruit. Sorry, we’re islanders.)

Sora seems to be doing a little bit better. Roxas, Xion, and them came to visit, which seemed to brighten his spirits, or at least distract him. Sometimes he still stares off into the distance and he’s not quite as chatty. This is going to take a long time.

As for the death thing… well, part of why Sora disappeared was because he went back in time to save us after the dark prophecy was fulfilled and the Demon Tide killed us… apparently. Even I can’t keep it all straight in my head, and it happened to me. He changed the flow of time to save us, and “abusing” the power of waking to save Kairi was the final straw. I… don’t like thinking about it much. It makes me feel sick.

Mundane life feels weird. I do chores around the house, and I mow lawns for some pocket change. Can you imagine it? The magic would make it easy, but it also unsettles people, so I do it with a mower. I had to go to social services to get an ID and we waited in line for two. Hours. I almost went insane. But at least it no longer has the awful picture it did when I started high school.

Speaking of, mom wants me to re-enroll right away, and dad wants me to do night school and speed through a general high school degree. I’m not sure how I feel about it, honestly. Kairi and Sora are excited, and I think it’ll be good for them. Maybe I’ll take a year, or do it online, or something. Though I’m sad to say my computer literacy isn’t nearly as good as yours.

How are you feeling in the castle? It must be summer for you guys there, too, though I imagine there aren’t beaches or anything. I didn’t see any. Do you have any summer activities? Or do you just sit in the library with a moldering old paperback all day?

Gainfully employed,

Riku

---

Dear Riku,

Thank you for satisfying my curiosity about that experience. I knew time travel was a factor in Sora’s disappearance--but I didn’t think it went like that for all of you. Terrifying. Awful.

A fantastic way to start a correspondence.

To answer the question… no, there are no “beaches” in terms of ocean beaches, but when I was a boy Radiant Garden did have springs on the far edges of town, as well as public pools. I was not allowed to go to them much--Even was rather neurotic--but yes, they do exist. Did exist. The restoration committee has it on their very, very long list. The paths down to the springs probably need some maintenance.

That is to say, when not in the lab I am sweating and thinking of cooler days. Though I know this might feel borderline chilly for you. Indifference to temperature is one of the few things on my waning list of what I miss from being a Nobody.

I’m glad you have some way to fill your days… that, and the idea of you working outside appeals to me. I imagine it must bore you.

I don’t spend ALL of my days in the library. Just most of them, lately, as am still trying to get this place even the slightest bit organized. If I had the resources I’d digitize everything. It’d make life so much easier. But I am one person with one computer and there are thousands upon thousands of books here. As a boy I used to have the fantasy of reading all of them before I turned eighteen. But, alas, that has not happened, and some of the texts are too boring, or in another language, or are too fragile to be handled. I clearly had very interesting ideas of leisure.

I still have not been able to get my hands on any decent ice cream.

Unsatisfied,

Ienzo

---

Ienzo,

I wanted to talk about this earlier but I had to get things settled in terms of my room. (Long story. Not a fun story.) Would you ever consider visiting? I could come get you. My parents are okay with it. In fact, they for some reason link you with me coming home, which I guess is true. You did help us get the clue Kairi needed. Either way, you’ve already made a good impression.

(If it’s not clear, I miss you.)

I can take you to a real beach. Show you around, not that there’s a whole lot to see. A change of scenery might be nice. Sora and Kairi want to hang out, too. Sora says hi.

If you’re busy, of course, I can come to you. But I know you’ve been there a long time, and there’s not always good memory there.

No pressure. Let me know.

Riku

---

Riku,

I think you may be on the right track with a change of scenery. I’m afraid what little wit I had left me, and when I was explaining to the others I’d like to visit, it became clear very quickly that our relationship is more than surface level. For that, I’m sorry.

However… the more I think about it, the more appealing it is. Even doing nothing--with you--is better than sitting here doing nothing by myself.

That is to say I miss you too.

I can be ready whenever is most convenient. I’m sorry for making you come all this way, though.

Ienzo

---

Ienzo,

Please, the flight will give me a few hours’ of peace and quiet. It’s been great spending all this time with friends and family, but… I feel kind of suffocated sometimes. Besides, I better keep my piloting skills in tip-top shape. Sora’s mad that I’m better at it than him. What can I say, it’s one of my many natural talents. Along with gardening, apparently.

Bring light clothes; it’s HOT here. And sunscreen. I mean it.

Looking forward to seeing you, and talking to you, in person.

Yours, Riku

#give/take #ienzoku #ienzo/riku #ienzo #riku #ienzo is trans

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dreamingsushi · 4 years ago

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The King Eternal monarch - Episode 4

** Actually this review has been written for already about a month or so, but I never got to type it. Back then, I thought I was still on schedule, but I was actually something like one episode late. Please bear with me! (:

I was in a pretty bad mood yesterday night, which was when I was planning on watching this, but I figured out I could actually watch it this morning instead, so I wouldn’t spoil all the fun by a foul mood.

So this episodes starts yet again on another time freeze, which is noticed by the most lovely uncle Lee Rim. Then again, we gat product placement with the Alley (can they stop making me want stuff that I can’t have with this drama? I love the Alley and the milk tea there). Anyways, Eun seop takes his tea, but it’s oddly hot and right at the same time seems like Jo Yeong takes a hot cup, which he dropped too. And the king is back.

Tae Eul is still trying to figure out her murder case and has a flashback of Lee Gon asking her why she chose to become a detective. I am actually really curious about her motivations and to know a bit more about her past. So far we only have seen that she lived with her father who runs a taekwondo dojo. Nothing much about her mom. She used to watch a show named the police with her dad when she was young. Okay. Nothing very extraordinary. I like that.

The Prime Minister barges in the the Palace again which makes our sassy madam Noh unhappy. She tells her that it was agreed that no one would come to the palace unless there is a national emergency and miss prez says the king disappearing is an emergency. Madam Noh says he stayed in his study all day long and went early to bed, so Prime Minister Koo says she should have gone to his bedroom then, which makes my poor Madam Noh angry. She tries to stop her from getting in the King’s study, but the Prime Minister pushes her away... like how rude is she? Wow. Well at least Lee Gon is inside and not very happy that she went against “his” orders and came anyways. She says he’s rather tanned for someone who stayed in his study and that she came only to check if he was missing. She says that he’s indebted to her now. But he tells her he will never be. I don’t really understand the threat he makes to her, but she doesn’t look as arrogant after that. I so do not like her.

As soon as Prime minister Koo comes out, Lady Noh rushes in and scolds Lee Gon for leaving and make her worry, she’s also in shock when she notices the buttons on his vest are all gone, they were really expensive.

One of Lee Gon’s military superior passed away while he was away, so it’s a relief he came back in time. He’s invited to go and see the army. As soon as he can, he gets rid of his necktie. Still the trauma of when Lee Rim almost killed him.

Tae Eul convinces her boss to wait two weeks before convincting the suspect of the murder. He agrees and sends them to investigate on a robery. When they arrest the thief, she sees Shin Jae talk with a girl and she gets curious, but he won’t tell her about her and then he asks her if the horse dude left her place and she says he went back home yes.

Prime minister Koo gets personally attacked by one of her congressman so she unveals a scandal about him to get revenge and then go meet with Prince Buyeon. I feel like she’s threatening him, but I don’t really get what’s the point of doing that for her.

Lee Gon goes to visit his uncle. So basically all of Buyeon’s family has to live abroad because Lee Rim killed the previous king. Lee Gon asks him if he’s not resentful that he can’t live with his family because of him. He then asks him if he’s on his side or not. He asks the king what rumours made him doubt about him, but Lee Gon says it’s not rumours and that it doesn’t answer his question. He trusts him, and says that they should be honest with each other. Then he leaves an envelop with a problem he couldn’t solve inside: the autopsy of Lee Rim.

Tae Eul is reading on parallel universes at the library while Lee Gon went to the library in Kingdom of Corea too and thinks of her.

Shin Jae’s mom comes back home with a purse full of cash. He’s very upset. He calls Jangmi and they go with his mom to the gambling house. She’s definitely not happy with it, Shin Jae tells Jangmi to take portraits of everyone in there. I am not so convinced about how efficient his method is: he shows his police badge so they all cover their faces. Shinjae is now going to lose his job. He reported the gambling and tells the policeman to arrest everyone. Including his mom. Poor Shin Jae. It must be so hard for him... I know my second lead syndrome is going to crush me again. Ugh.

A kid bumps into Tae Eul and makes her her lose her ID card in the water street drain. Right then she has a call from the girl she’s working with. The money is real. The one she took from Lee Gon, that is. It’s a real bank note.

Lee Rim finds a note saying the king has returned to the palace. So he knows he went to the other universe. I wonder who is the mole in the palace.

Tae Eul goes to the bamboo forest looking for Lee Gon, but obviously, he’s not there.

Je Yeong comes to get Lee Gon because Lady Noh thinks he left again and then again with the time freeze. Ugh. And numbers. I have no idea what he’s counting about, but yikes. I hate maths. He tells Jo Yeong he went to a parallel universe, but he’s not taken seriously. Obviously.

Tae Eul asks to reissue her car, it won’t have to wait until November 11. She goes back to the parck and wonder what nice view he saw. Haha. You, of course, Darling.

There’s a lady woking for Lee gon and she’s just plainly thinking that he’s in love with Jo Yeong. Hahaha, in no ways. There’s a storm again and his shoulder is acting up and he wants only Jo Yeong to check on it, no need to tell Lady Noh. He shows his shoulder to Je Yeong and he goes to fetch the doctor. Then, he uses this opportunity to leave since otherwise, he’s always under surveillance.

tae Eul finally gets her Id back... issued on 11-11-2019, just like Lee gon said it was going to be. She then receives a phone call from him. She’s troubled and leaves work, leaving Shinjae and Jangmi very surprised. HeMs really waiting for her. He paid back his debts and wanted to see her, but he has to go back because he sneaked out. She asks him how she looks on the picture for her ID. He says he’ll take her with him to see his universe if she wants. Seems like she agrees. Awww, a ride together on Maximus. How cute when he pulls her on top of the horse.

And they do really get to his world and she’s SHOOKED.

I don’t clearly remember my impressions on the ending of this episode, but I felt it was a little weirdish, I don’t how to describe this. But yeah. Not sure I like it, but oh well.

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plumblossomkun · 5 years ago

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𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝟷:「𝙻𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚛, 𝙸'𝚕𝚕 𝚋𝚎 𝚋𝚢 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚜𝚒𝚍𝚎 / 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚖𝚘𝚘𝚗, 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚎 𝚘𝚗 𝚖𝚎?」

word count: 3.5k

setting: student!Taeyong x writing assistant!Female Reader, University!AU

warning[s]: none for this chapter besides some angst. later chapters will have more sensitive topics and they will be mentioned.

chapter summary: in which Taeyong reminisces & tries to forget, but doesn’t stand a chance against the stars & their song. or, in which Taeyong & y/n meet again under the same sky, after years apart.

a/n: this is heavily inspired by Love Deluna; a big thank u @starxblossom for the help on this fic, which is VERY loosely based on something between a boy & me that began sweet. here is chapter one, as inspired by my messy [love] life.

READ ME: this story will contain a LONG series of chapters :) i will italicize flashbacks in their entirety & indicate any changes in scene or point of view in bold. furthermore, chapters will alternate between Taeyong and y/n unless otherwise indicated.

other tags: @bunny-doyounq! enjoy~ ♫

previous | next

Exactly 4 years ago—

“What are you looking for?” he asks, leaning into her so that their shoulders are barely touching. She stares up into the dark, cloudless sky, eyes focused on something he cannot see, painted coral lips slightly parted.

He wonders if one day he’ll feel them against his skin, instead of the winter breeze. Instead of the knowledge that her heart is somewhere else, has always been somewhere else.

“The stars,” she replies, abandoning her search in favor of looking sideways at him with a faint smile. Her gaze is distant, though, and it feels like something sharp has lodged itself in his gut, because he can’t remember if she’s ever really looked at him. “I love the city lights. I really do. But I want to see the stars, I want to see the sky covered in them.”

And then her eyes turn back to the heavens.

He wishes he could anchor her, bring her down from the clouds— but he knows she won’t let him. At least, not as they are.

Not as he is.

So, instead, he places his hand on top of hers, the words he really wants to say stuck somewhere between his heart and his throat, threatening to choke him as he assures her, “We’ll go somewhere you can see them, someday.”

Someday, when I return, he promises silently.

She looks at his hand, then at him, and her voice is tiny, barely audible when she asks, “How far?”

He sees the glimmer of fear in her eyes, and takes his hand away, missing the warmth of her even as he does so. But he knows better than to linger too long and spook her.

“As far as you want.”

Now —

Daly City, CA

—in one word, home

How many moons has it been, since he last set foot in this tiny city, engulfed in a sea of fog pierced only by the headlights of the Model Y Teslas that speed away towards the skyscrapers of the big city to the north?

Too many.

And yet, though he’s returned to the place he’s loved most out of all the homes he’s forged, he feels like he is about to make the second greatest mistake of his life.

He scales the moss-lined steps leading up to the park from the main road, relishing the way the sounds of traffic are muffled by the towering, groaning pines. But when he steps off the uneven dirt path, his heart drops a little when he digs his heels into the earth and finds that the soccer fields have been filled with fake grass and rubber dirt.

He shuffles towards the library, passing through the playground and its vacant swings, sparing a wistful glance for the sand pit, which is filled with mud and litter and not a single child to dig through it. It’s early, the sun hasn’t even started to peek its head over the horizon, but he remembers when he was a child, the seesaw was always creaking away, and the swings were never left unoccupied.

The jingle of a bell lifts his chin from his chest, though, and he sucks a breath in between his teeth in disbelief. There’s no way it’s the rickety old ice cream truck that used to come around when he was a kid, the one with the smiling old man and his wife.

And he’s right, though he’s never wished more in his life that he was wrong.

It’s a cluster of kids on their bikes, ringing their bells like mad and whooping as they zoom through the parking lot, past the basketball and tennis courts that have always been worn and gray, but seem all the worse for wear without the thud of shoes against the cement to fill the spaces in between the groaning fences.

He shoves his hands in his pocket and walks back to his car, shoulders heavy with the knowledge that the world he left behind was not untouched in his absence.

You included, though he knows better than to think you’d be waiting for him. You would never have looked back, not when he’d left like that, without warning, without so much as a goodbye.

You probably hate him for it.

So he gets back into his car, grits his teeth, and promises himself, later, he’ll forget about it. He’ll start at a new school, make new friends, focus on his classes, and act as if the past doesn’t still have its claws in his heart.

Later, he’ll pretend he doesn’t miss the days you’d sit at the top of those steps and drink Arizonas together, wasting the hours until the sun set and you had to decline call after call from your overprotective father, insisting you come home because it was getting too late.

Later, he’ll unpack his boxes at the university apartments, and thank his parents for leaving out the pictures of you and him.

But for now, he grips the steering wheel and takes the I-280 south, all four windows down, using the roar of the autumn wind to drown out the voice inside that says he’s made a mistake, coming back home to California. The voice that insists he came back not for a new start, not because his parents insisted he finish his education abroad, but to see you again.

Santa Clara, CA

— the place you imagine when you think California vibes.

“You know, Taeyong, you didn’t have to come all the way from Korea to bring me flowers.” Johnny eyes the bouquet of violently pink hydrangeas that Taeyong has just produced from the passenger seat of his car like they’ve offended him. “These are pretty, but you know I have allergies, right?”

“They’re not for you,” Taeyong snorts, lifting his computer tower from the backseat with a grunt. “Can you grab the other box from the back?”

Johnny grabs the storage box filled with peripherals and shuts the trunk. “Who else would they be for?”

“My mother told me your mother was visiting.” Taeyong kicks the door closed and locks the car twice, holding his beloved computer tower close to his body and the flowers under his arm. “And that we’re getting lunch together, apparently. Also, since when have you been allergic to flowers?”

“Since I saw these.” Johnny wrinkles his nose at the flowers. “And we’re not eating on campus— I never thought I would say this, but I am sick of burritos.” He shudders as he taps his ID to the scanner at the front entrance, and holds the door open as Taeyong tiptoes through, careful not to trip over the door frame. “There’s a good Korean barbecue place in San Jose, ten minutes out from here. Mom’s checking out the stationery store at Santana Row, said we can call her when we’re ready to go. Have you toured the campus yet?”

Taeyong laughs. “No, I haven’t had the time to look around—”

“Seriously?” Johnny purses his lips in an exaggerated pout. “Okay, come on. Let’s put this stuff away, and I’ll show you around.” He ushers him through another set of double doors, past a small expanse of grass complete with a volleyball net and red flowers draped across a wooden pavilion, shining steel grills polished and ready for the next Sunday playoffs, to the ground floor apartment of a building on the opposite side of the complex.

Taeyong can’t help but already imagine himself sitting on the grass, when he has time after classes, taking the time to watch the sun sink below the rooftops, coffee in one hand and music filling his ears. He can imagine himself mapping the skies, searching for stars.

He catches himself there, shakes his head at his own foolishness. “Lee Taeyong,” he mutters, running a hand through his hair, “this is no time to think about stargazing.”

“Stargazing?” Johnny echoes, emerging from the bathroom with his hands still a little wet, waving them about to dry them. “We have an observatory, if you’re interested in that.”

Taeyong tries to act like the idea hasn’t excited him, bending down to tie his shoes to hide the grin splitting his face. “We can check it out if it’s not too out of the way, I guess.”

Johnny chuckles, closing the door behind him. “Of course. Last and least on the list.”

Palm trees overlook the majority of the campus, leaning low over the buildings and casting long shadows along the pavement. And where there isn’t red or gray brick, there is carefully curated grass, neatly clipped hedges, and collections of too-perfect, too-saturated flowers highlighting each walkway.

It’s a little artificial, a little unreal, but Taeyong can’t deny that, with the afternoon sun beating down on his shoulders, casting golden light without a single wisp of fog in the air, and a slight breeze nipping at his fingertips, it feels like a slice of paradise, straight out of the movies.

Near the end of the main road, Johnny points out a pastel rainbow of roses that lead to a side path that wraps around the church, under a canopy of vines and branches and ornately wrought wood. “I like to come here instead of on the quads; it’s quieter. Some people even take wedding pictures here when the weather is nice.”

Taeyong spots a bench a little ways down the path, surrounded by roses— the perfect spot to take a picture, one to remember his first day back under the California sun.

When he turns back to ask his friend to capture the moment for him, Johnny is already motioning for him to hand over his phone, a knowing smile playing across his face. “I’m surprised you didn’t ask me to take a photo earlier.” Taeyong laughs, brushes rose petals off of the bench before he sits, squinting as he finds a spot that is both well lit and doesn’t have the sun blazing directly into his eyes. “This is too pretty to pass up.”

“Ready?”

Taeyong nods, smiling chastely into the eye of the camera.

“Okay, three, two, one—”

Click.

“Another pose~ three, two, one—”

He adds a peace sign. He knows his mother will definitely ask for one of him and Johnny later, and makes a note to take one at lunch.

Click.

“Last one, look sexy, Taeyong-ah, say mwah for the camera~”

Taeyong bursts into laughter at that, but Johnny snaps the picture anyway.

Click.

“That’s the candid I was looking for,” he says, clearly pleased by his work, handing Taeyong’s phone back to him. “You look good.” And for all his teasing, Johnny is right about the photos— he looks sun-kissed and happy. Nothing like how he’d felt earlier that morning.

He takes a deep breath, taking in the rich scent of the roses around them as the church bells sound, signaling noon. He gathers a handful of pink petals and marvels at their unmarked, silken beauty. “I feel good, too.”

“What did Seoul do to you?” Johnny asks thoughtfully, looking him up and down as if this is the first time he’s really looked at him all day.

Taeyong tosses the petals in the air with a chuckle. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, when we were teenagers...” Johnny snaps his fingers, looking for the right words. “You look like you know yourself better. Is that it?” A girl’s wail splits the air before he can answer, followed by the pitter-patter of quick footsteps. “Excuse me, I’m laaaate—”

Taeyong steps aside automatically, and as the girl runs past him, long hair whipping him in the face despite his quick reflexes, he catches a whiff of summer, of wildflowers, jasmine, and something of the ocean breeze.

And while he doesn’t recognize the perfume, his heart sinks when he realizes he does know that voice.

Your voice.

His phone drops from his hand, and he jumps to his feet.

There’s no way.

Luckily, Johnny snatches up his phone before it hits the ground, and when he sees the expression on Taeyong’s face, leans in front of him with a concerned look, waving a hand to catch his attention. “Whoa. You good, buddy?”

Taeyong’s eyes don’t even register the movement. He presses a hand to his chest to check if his heart is still beating, and has to sit down on the bench again, because he is shaking like a leaf caught in a hurricane.

He feels like all the breath has been sucked out of his lungs, like the bones in his body have suddenly become hollow and thin like glass. “I… was that...?”

Johnny follows his gaze, staring at the back of the girl who is still rushing down the path. “Oh...” he exhales, craning his head to get a better look. “Oh.”

Slowly, he nods his head, and the confirmation is like a death rattle to Taeyong. “I heard she was here, but, you know... I didn’t really go looking.”

Johnny places a firm hand on Taeyong’s shoulder, and his voice is gentle when he reminds him, “You shouldn’t either.”

Taeyong closes his eyes and shakes his head, because after all this time, despite the years he’s spent under a different skyline— here you are— here—

The thought chokes him. It wraps icy fingers around his heart and crushes it, crushes him.

He can’t remember the reason he left, only that it wasn’t right, only that he should’ve stayed.

And though he has only caught a moment’s glimpse, shared a single breath, he can’t deny it, he hasn’t changed at all.

He is still the same boy, praying that a flower that lives for starlight will bloom for him instead.

6 and a half years ago—

Taeyong did not want to attend Winter Ball— in fact, he would rather have eaten dirt— but Yuta and Ten ended up buying him a ticket anyway. He had tried to escape after the last bell, ducking towards the door before the teacher had even dismissed them, but Johnny locks an arm around his shoulders before he can escape.

“You can skip every dance after this one,” he bargains, clicking his tongue, and drags Taeyong down the street to his house to lend him clothes for the night. “Come on, it’ll be fun. Live a little. Dance a little.”

“No, it won’t,” Taeyong grumbles, but puts on the white collared shirt and black tie ensemble anyway, Mrs. Suh cooing “So handsome!” a thousand times at them as she snaps photos to keep in her newly-bought scrapbooks, before ushering them out. “Be back by midnight, okay?”

And now, he plays the wallflower in the small gym, watching in faint amusement as the people dancing freeze in confusion as they try to guess at what song is playing next, the DJ’s transitions between songs awkward and stilted. Despite that, towering over everyone in the very heart of the crowd, Johnny dances like there’s no tomorrow. Yuta and Ten had tried to get him out there, too— they had tried to drag him, princess-carry, and Yuta had even tried to throw him— but Taeyong isn’t in the mood to dance.

A flash of silver catches his eye, and he momentarily forgets that he is supposed to be uninterested in everything that the evening has to offer.

A girl strides towards him, sparkling white glitter sliding off her collarbones like someone has poured starlight on her, refracting tiny pinpoints of light onto her face. She is smiling, and her cheeks are a deep shade of rouge, but her smile is more like a lioness baring her fangs, and the rest of her expression is cold and hard.

Her lips purse as she stares at the half-open door to his left, and the wind whispering behind it. She pauses in the doorway, gaze flicking back to the crowd. And then to him.

When she sees that Taeyong’s looking back at her, her expression lightens, the corners of her eyes crinkling in true mirth.

And then she’s gone, the door swinging shut behind her with a sigh.

He finds her perched on the railing outside, on the balcony that overlooks the entire campus, watching the last snatches of day start to die away. She turns as he approaches, the light on the horizon line pooling around her, framing her figure in gold and scarlet. The breeze bites at his cheeks, and her midnight blue chiffon dress clings to her body, but unlike him, she does not shiver; instead, she leans into the icy caress of winter like it is an old friend.

So when her eyes burn into his, he is already half-convinced that she is some ethereal creature. He opens his mouth to speak, but she shakes her head, as if the sound of his voice will break the spell she’s cast, one that blurs the noise behind him in favor of the shifting world before him.

A wry smile curls her lips, like she’s laughing at some unspoken joke, and she pats the railing next to her, inviting him to join her in the moment.

Mutely, they watch the sky until it darkens and the northern star has begun to twinkle, the last murmurs of gold plunging below the school buildings. So much time passes, in fact, that when she suddenly takes a deep breath, consuming the night air like it is her lifeblood, it startles him, and he almost falls off the railing into the uneven hedges below them.

She laughs aloud then, and says, in a low, almost husky voice, “Are you afraid I might bite?”

His brain fizzles as he tries to think of something to say that isn’t stupid. He settles for the truth. “You look like you might just fly away if I come too close.”

She looks startled, like she wasn’t expecting him to respond with those words, and then shakes her head, that same mysterious smile curving her lips. She tips her head back and lets the wind comb through her long hair. “I wish I could fly. Don’t you?”

He thinks about it, looks up into the sea of gray clouds filtering the moonlight into ivory shards. “Maybe. Where would you go, if you could?”

She leans back a little too far and loses her balance for a split second— and he instinctively reaches out to catch her, gripping her hands in his.

Her hands are small, and freezing, but still, they do not shake. Her heartbeat thrums against his palms, and she laughs breathlessly, the noise dragging his eyes up to meet hers.

He can’t help but flinch; her gaze is filled with stone that had not been there a second before. It does not soften until she has extracted herself from his hold, and the cold railing is the only thing they share in common.

Only then does she answer his question, clearing her throat. When she speaks this time, her voice has lost its airy quality, becoming sweeter, softer. He loses himself there, and openly stares at her, awed by— everything about her. “I think I’d see if heaven existed,” she breathes, reaching towards the stars, cupping the curve of the moon within her hands. “Go as high as I could until my lungs cried out for mercy.”

She slips down from her perch, lighting down quietly on the hard cement. On level ground, she is quite a bit shorter than him, and yet he feels intimidated by her proximity when she leans towards him, face impassive as she studies his.

“What?” he asks, jutting out his chin in challenge.

The girl rolls her eyes, unimpressed. But whatever she finds in his expression, she clearly doesn’t dislike because she says carelessly, tossing the words out at rapid-fire speed, “I’m going to go find a better view, and real food. Feel free to tag along, if you want.”

And then she’s walking away before he can even accept the invitation, tugging off both her heels in one fluid motion and dangling them off of her shoulder as she starts heading down the five flights of stairs leading down to the main entrance, completely barefoot and humming a tune he does not know.

He looks back at the gym. He doesn’t see Yuta, or Ten, or Johnny through the glass— in fact, he’s sure they won’t notice him leaving, either, not while they’re dancing— so he makes his choice.

He can be back by midnight, if he keeps track of the time.

“Wait—” he calls after her.

She pauses, and their gazes lock. For a split second, something flickers to life in her eyes, summons a peal of laughter from deep within her throat. She licks her lips, head tilted up towards him, and he understands it then. She is lovely, and the moonrise suits her, but she is no ethereal being, no angel, no goddess.

“Catch me if you can, then.”

Still— he can’t look away.

He can’t help but chase after her.

a/n 2.0: feedback of all kinds is appreciated! ♥ luv y’all

#nct #nct fics #taeyong fics #taeyong smut #taeyong #lee taeyong #nct smut #nct imagines #taeyong imagines #taeyong x reader #taeyong x female reader #nct fanfics #taeyong fanfics #taeyong was my first bias in nct ever #everyone involved in this fic is legal #dulce et feram

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girls-scenarios · 5 years ago

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I Want to Be Your (Girl)Friend (Chapter 2)

Idols: Haseul and Vivi (Loona)

Prompt: Just like she has so many times before, Haseul catches herself watching Kahei work through the café window. College!AU

Writer: Admin Kiwi

A/N: I meant to have this finished so long ago but I kept changing things rip. The ending gave me so much trouble that I worked on it for days. Thank you all for being patient with me and I hope you all enjoy!

Chapter 1 AO3 AFF ♡ Tip Jar♡

Telling the kids about Kahei had been her first mistake. Her second mistake is buckling under Sooyoung’s intense gaze after she walks over to the kid’s study session looking a bit too happy.

“I know something happened,” Sooyoung says, crossing her arms and sending Haseul a look that she tries to ignore, flipping the page of Hyejoo’s psychology paper instead of looking back at her. The library is crowded today, so she really doesn’t want to talk about this here.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Haseul’s voice breaks as she speaks, betraying her.

“Don’t lie,” Jiwoo says as she squeals, and Haseul shushes her with the vigor of a long-time librarian, if only because they’re much, much closer to the cafe today and she doesn’t need Kahei walking by and hearing one of the girls saying something stupid and not because she’s actually on the clock this time. “Come on, something happened with Kahei, right?” Jiwoo leans her head on Sooyoung’s shoulder, and Haseul knows that she can’t stay mad at her. The girl is just too damn cute.

“Fess up,” Jinsol says, suddenly pushing away her books and leaning forward, apparently giving up on her poetry essay. Her eyes are sparkling, like she’s just reached the big romantic scene in one of the anime she’s been obsessed with recently. “Did it have anything to do with what I told you the other day?”

“You told Haseul something? You, giving advice?” Jungeun looks a little skeptical as she peeks over her laptop, and Jinsol elbows her and huffs, shaking her head. Her girlfriend grins and reaches out to give her hand a little squeeze, and Haseul doesn’t like the voice in her head that tells her that she wants what they have.

“Believe it or not, I gave good advice! At least, I think I did. I didn’t really sleep the night before so it might have been better in my head.”

Haseul smiles and reaches across the table to pat Jinsol’s free hand, a reassuring gesture. No matter how much of a handful Jinsol was, she always meant well. “Your advice was good. Thank you.”

“So it did have something to do with my advice?” Jinsol perks up, and the rest of the table turns to look at Haseul with wide eyes. She figures that she walked right into that one. On one hand, she doesn’t want to tell them because she knows what will happen. But on the other hand, Jinsol looks so happy at the idea of helping and Sooyoung is still staring holes into her head, so she caves.

“Well, yeah, kinda. I talked some to Kahei after you left.”

“What? How? You didn’t explode of awkwardness?” Yeojin is much too loud for the library, but what’s new. Haseul is used to shushing her at this point. But Sooyoung joins her this time, reaching to put her hand over the youngest girl’s mouth.

“Yeojin, this is a library, please shut the-.”

“Nope, we aren’t saying that,” Haseul says, interrupting Sooyoung and reaching over to separate the two. “No cursing in the library unless it’s finals week.”

“Fine, mom,” Sooyoung says, pouting a bit, but almost immediately she perks back up. “So, you were telling us about talking with Kahei? How did that go? Did you get her number? Did you ask her out?”

“Ah- no. We just talked. And I helped her with an essay.” Haseul can feel the girls staring at her, and she sinks down into her chair, refusing to look at them. She feels a bit like a teenager again, nervous with sweaty palms and all. “That’s my job.”

“So boring,” Yerim whines, letting her head fall onto Hyejoo’s shoulder. Hyejoo looks like she wants to shove her off, but she doesn’t, restraining herself and just sighing as she turns back to her homework, and Haseul feels like a proud parent before she remembers what’s happening. “I was expecting something bigger! Better!”

“You have to step your game up or you’re going to be a crazy cat lady,” Hyunjin says, still staring at her phone.

“I don’t even like cats.” Even as Haseul mutters it, she knows it’s not true. That doesn’t stop her from sticking to it, even as Sooyoung hits her with another look.

“That was seriously all?”

“Yes, we had a very nice talk!”

“A very nice talk isn’t going to get you anywhere.”

“Listen, I know you kids like to take things fast these days-.”

“You’re younger than me!”

“I’m still not comfortable with moving that fast, Sooyoung. Let me take this at my pace.”

Sooyoung huffs and crosses her arms again, but sits back, and Haseul believes for a minute that the topic might be dropped. Then Heejin clears her throat.

“So, I talked to Mimi.”

Despite Haseul’s better judgement, she can’t help being a little bit curious. She resists asking for barely a second before sighing and giving away to the curiosity.

“And?” The table collectively “ooo”s and she shushes them again, face burning. This is a bad idea.

“Mimi said that Kahei told her that she is interested in someone, but she got all flustered and wouldn’t say a name.” Flustered. She’s never seen Kahei flustered, so it’s hard to imagine. And since Kahei didn’t mention a name, it could be anyone, including the pretty tall girl from days ago. So it’s useless to get her hopes up. “But Mimi said that she thinks the person Kahei likes works in the library because she always catches Kahei looking out the window into the library instead of outside.” Heejin is grinning now, and Haseul can feel her face heat up again. Pretty tall girl doesn’t work in the library, does she?

“Sounds like you,” Yerim says cheerfully, and Haseul has never been so happy to hear the bell ringing at the help desk.

“Sorry, gotta go! Work calls!” She stands up so fast that it makes her dizzy, but she only stops long enough to slide Hyejoo’s paper back over to her before fast-walking away from the table, her customer-service smile plastered onto her face as she greeted the student at the desk, trying to ignore the fact that she could feel her friends still watching her go.

Haseul doesn’t usually work the late-night shift, so she’s not used to how empty the library is this late at night. Most people have already packed up their things and left the main area, the café closed hours ago, and the only students left in the library are packed into the study rooms, finishing up last-minute projects and essays while they still have the time. It’s eerie, almost, being alone in the artificial light surrounded by books, but she’s already locked the doors and closed down some of the unused floors, so now she’s just watching the clock, waiting for the overnight guy to clock in.

The library is always quiet, but being able to hear the clock ticking is unnerving, so she sighs and stands up, stretching. It wouldn’t hurt to go on another round, so she walks around the desk and shoves her hands into her pockets, heading over to check the doors. Just as she gets over to them, the far right door buzzes, signalling that someone has unlocked it with their student ID, and her brain helpfully tells her that it could be a murderer. She probably shouldn’t have watched that Ted Bundy documentary the night before because her brain goes crazy, and she’s about to back away when she catches sight of pink hair, and her heartbeat picks up for an entirely different reason.

It is, in fact, Kahei, and she looks surprised when she steps in and sees Haseul awkwardly standing there against the wall.

“Haseul?”

“That’s me. Hi Kahei.” It’s lame, and she grimaces as the words come out of her mouth, but Kahei just smiles like the angel she is. Somehow, even in the ugly yellow artificial lights, she looks gorgeous, and Haseul thinks that if Kahei was a murderer, she’d still let the girl do whatever she wants.

It’s a weird thought.

“Are you working late tonight?”

“Yep, the girl working this shift called out so Amber had me come in to cover for her. The overnight librarian should be here soon, but I was just, uh, checking that the doors are locked.” She gives Kahei a smile in return and runs her fingers through her hair. “Did you forget something?”

“Well, kind of.” Kahei twists her hands together, and for the first time, Haseul notices the nervous look on her face. “I lost my ring but I didn’t realize it was gone until I got home. And then I had to turn something in, so I didn’t have time to come back until now. I’m glad it’s you who’s working tonight, though. The other girl makes me nervous....”

“Soyeon is pretty intimidating,” Haseul says, glancing back at the front desk. Nobody was going to need her help this late at night. There were three students in the library now, tops. Plus, even if they did need help, Youngjae would be there soon enough. “I’ll help you look for it. It’s the pink one you usually wear, right?” As the words leave her mouth, she realizes that it might sound weird that she knows what jewelry Kahei wears every day, but the other girl lights up, so she figures it’s okay.

“That’s the one! You’ll really help me?”

“Of course, what kind of person would I be if I made you look by yourself? Plus, I have the keys to get into the cafe.”

Kahei giggles, and Haseul feels her heart soar. “Good point. Still, thank you, I appreciate it.” Taking the keys from her pocket, Haseul leads the way over to the cafe door, heart pounding inside her chest. A risky idea pops into her head, and she clears her throat as she takes out her phone, turning to the other girl.

“Hey, why don’t we exchange phone numbers? That way if something like this happens again, you can just text me and I can come help you out.”

Kahei looks at her with wide eyes and Haseul wonders for a moment if she’s passed a line before she smiles shyly. “I wouldn’t want to bother you....”

“You wouldn’t be bothering me, trust me. I’m always happy to help, that’s why I’m a librarian.”

“If you’re sure it’s no problem.” Kahei pulls out her own phone, and Haseul smiles at the sight of the cute cat charm on it. It’s just how she’d expected Kahei’s phone to look: cute. Her hands are sweaty as she takes the phone, and she hopes that Kahei doesn’t notice when she quickly wipes them on her shirt before putting in her phone number. When Kahei gives her back her phone, there’s a little smiley emoji beside her name, and it makes Haseul smile. Cute.

“There we go. Text me if you ever need anything,” Haseul says with her best smile (it happens to also be her ‘mom’ smile but she tries not to think about that as she approaches the cafe door). Kahei slips the phone back into her pocket as Haseul opens the door, stepping forward.

“Thanks again, Haseul. I really appreciate you helping me search. I panicked a bit when I noticed that it was gone.” The nervous look is back, and Haseul quickly flips one of the lights. They buzz and blink to life above the cafe counter, and she squints a bit at the sudden light.

“Don’t worry, we’ll find it. Was it a gift from someone?”

“Yes. It was a gift from my mom. She gave it to me for Christmas when I went to visit.” Kahei twists her hands together again as she moves towards the counter, and Haseul quietly follows her. “I really can’t lose it.”

“It must be hard to be away from home for so long,” Haseul says softly, putting a hand on Kahei’s shoulder. She almost seems to lean into it as she looks down at the floor.

“It is. Although I really like it here, it’s impossible not to miss home sometimes, you know? But whenever I had the ring on, it made me feel close to my mom. It’s kind of stupid, but it helps.”

“It’s not stupid at all.” Haseul’s voice is still soft, yet firm, and Kahei looks up, locking eyes with her. “Missing home isn’t stupid. I understand. My parents aren’t as far away as yours, but it’s still a long train ride away. And having a photo of my family in my room makes them feel closer.” She swallows, nervous but determined. “I’m not going to leave until we find that ring for you, okay?”

Kahei smiles suddenly, and before Haseul knows what’s happening, the other girl’s arms are around her in a hug. “Thank you. This means a lot to me.” She pulls away quickly, but Haseul feels a little bit dizzy regardless, heart going nuts in her chest. Did this girl not know how gorgeous she was? That was dangerous for Haseul’s sanity. “You’re really sweet, Haseul.”

“I try.” She takes a deep breath to steady herself. “So should we start looking?”

As small as the cafe is, the ring is even smaller, and Haseul had only turned on the lights above the main part of the counter, so the further back she goes, the darker it gets, making her wish she’d flipped on all the switches. It’s much quieter than she’s used to, and she wonders if Kahei can hear how hard her heart is still beating, still not recovered from the hug. Her mind is clogged with thoughts of Kahei (like always) but her eyes catch a glimmer on the floor near the back fridge and the counter. It’s just a small glimmer, stuck between two surfaces, but when she walks over to investigate, a flash of pink can be seen, and she quickly gets down on her knees to get a closer look. Even in the dark, she can tell it’s the ring, and she hopes that there aren’t any bugs as she reaches into the crevice to pull it out.

Thankfully, the ring is still intact, and she dusts it off as she stands up, feeling relieved. “Kahei! I found the ring!”

“You found it? Thank you!” Her voice comes from the other side of the counter, and when Haseul looks up, Kahei is standing right outside the ring of light. In the dim lighting, only her face is illuminated, pink lips slightly parted and dark eyes big and round, and her hair looks like it’s light red instead of pink. She’s beautiful, and the sight makes Haseul a little breathless until Kahei tilts her head, confused at her prolonged silence. Clearing her throat, Haseul walked over with a smile, hoping that the light wouldn’t show the blush on her cheeks.

“Your hair looks kind of red in this lighting, I almost didn’t recognize you,” she jokes as she holds out the ring, and Kahei raises her eyebrows as she takes the ring, gently sliding it onto her finger.

“Is my hair color the only way you recognize me?”

“Of course not. But I think red would look good on you.”

“Yeah?” She reaches up to tug gently at her bangs. “I’ve never thought about red before.”

“Maybe the universe is trying to tell you something.” Haseul’s words make Kahei laugh, and she touches the ring again.

“Maybe. Thanks for helping me find this, Haseul. It means a lot to me.”

“You’re welcome. I told you I’d find it.”

Kahei tucks her hair behind her ears, and Haseul’s mouth goes a little dry. “Your next coffee is on me. As a thanks.”

“You don’t have to do that,” Haseul says, but the other girl just shakes her head.

“I’m going to, though. Because I want to.” She pulls out her own keys and smiles, and Haseul is probably imagining things, but it suddenly seems a little brighter in the closed cafe. “See you tomorrow?”

“See you tomorrow. Be safe getting home.”

“You too!” The older girl gives her a little wave as she turns to go, and Haseul waves back, watching her as she left. Her heart is still beating hard inside her chest, and she swallows, clutching her keys as she heads back to the light switch to close up again. Something in her head tells her that she’s whipped, but she tries not to think about it, because she knows what the feelings in her chest mean: she’s head over heels for Kahei, and there is no way she can go back now.

Once again, Haseul finds herself staying late at the library, but this time, it isn’t with Kahei, and she’s not on the clock. Instead, she’s tucked at the back of the library with Hyejoo, reading her textbook as the younger girl clicks away on her laptop. They’ve been here for hours, ever since Haseul got off, but she doesn’t mind, glancing up every other page to check on Hyejoo’s progress. At one of the glances, Hyejoo sighs and stretches her arms out in front of her, looking over at Haseul with sleepy eyes.

“You can go home, Haseul,” Hyejoo says as she yawns. “I don’t want to keep you here all night.”

“I’m not leaving you here to walk home this late at night,” Haseul says fondly, giving the younger girl a smile. “You’re getting close. You only have two pages left, right?”

“Yeah.” Hyejoo is obviously tired, and the Red Bull no longer seems to be working as she blinks at her laptop, fingers stalled over the keyboard. Haseul knows how she must be feeling, so she closes her book and reaches over to put her hand on Hyejoo’s wrist.

“It might be better if you get some sleep and finish tomorrow morning.”

“But what if I sleep through my alarm? Then I won’t be done in time for class....”

“I’ll come wake you up, don’t worry. You want to write the best paper you can, and you can’t write a good paper if you can barely keep your eyes open.”

Hyejoo stares at her laptop, thinking for a moment before she saves the paper and shuts it down. “Okay. If you don’t mind waking me up, I’ll do it in the morning.”

“Of course I don’t mind, silly.” Haseul slips her textbook into her backpack and zips it up. “Ready to go, then?”

Hyejoo gives her a sleepy smile. “I’m ready.”

Haseul’s car isn’t far outside the library, parked in the employee parking, and she makes sure that Hyejoo gets safely into the passenger seat before getting in herself and starting it up. For Haseul, it’s still pretty early and she’s used to working this late only to get up early in the morning: it’s the unhealthy sleeping habit of a longtime university student. But for Hyejoo it’s much too late, and she’s already almost nodding off in the passenger seat. It’s cute, Haseul thinks as she pulls away from the library, headed for their dorms at the other end of campus.

Hyejoo must not want to sleep yet, though, because she shakes herself awake and yawns again, turning to the older girl with sleepy eyes. “Hey, how’s everything going with Kahei?”

“You sound like Sooyoung,” Haseul says, but she humors the younger girl. “We’ve been texting recently, but we’re both busy. It’s nearing finals season and since we’re both working on our masters now, it’s a lot of work.” Hyejoo hums from the passenger seat, and she’s quiet for a moment, so Haseul thinks she might drop it. But as they pull into Haseul’s parking spot, she hugs the backpack in her lap closer and clears her throat.

“You should have more confidence in yourself. You’re really nice and really pretty. And I know you don’t think you’re cool, but everyone else thinks you’re cool. We all admire how good you are at school and how you always try your best to help people, and how you can do anything you put your mind to.” Haseul’s eyes are wide as she looks at her, but Hyejoo continues. “You’re a catch, Haseul. Stop thinking that Kahei wouldn’t want to date you.” She opens the door, and the car dings, snapping Haseul out of it and making her quickly kill the engine and get out, grabbing her own bag. She’s not used to the compliments, and it makes her feel a little awkward, but also fond as she reached over to gently ruffle the younger girl’s hair.

“Well. Thank you, Hyejoo. I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Yeah.”

Haseul doesn’t get that much sleep that night, Kahei’s smile behind her eyelids and Hyejoo’s words echoing in her ears.

When Haseul finally has enough time to take a break and walks into the cafe a few days later, the first thing she notices is the auburn-red hair behind the counter. The words she said that night in the cafe replay in her head and butterflies begin to go crazy as she slips her hands into her pockets and walks up to the counter.

Sure enough, it’s Kahei, and she smiles widely when she sees Haseul, tying her apron as she walks over. “Did you finally come in for your complimentary coffee?”

“Yeah, I finally had a break between students over at the desk. It’s a busy time for us librarians.”

“I can imagine. I’ve been serving twice the amount of caffeine I usually do. Finals season is upon us,” Kahei says, and there’s a sparkle in her eyes. Haseul loves it, but doesn’t say it, biting her tongue. “Your normal again?”

“Yes, please,” Haseul replies, and tries to ignore how Mimi is staring at her with a grin from the espresso machine. Kahei stalls, like she’s waiting for something, and Haseul clears her throat, trying to seem nonchalant. “I like the new hair color.”

It’s what she was waiting for, because Kahei breaks out into a shy smile as she ducks her head. “Ah, thank you. I thought about what you said the other night and decided to try red. Does it look as good as it did before?”

“It looks great on you,” Haseul says truthfully, and she doesn’t miss the flush on Kahei’s cheeks as she tugs at her hair.

“Good, I’m happy.” For a moment, they’re both silent, just smiling at each other, before someone behind Haseul coughs, breaking the moment. “Oh, I guess I have other guests to serve. And you have struggling students to help.” Her words make Haseul laugh, and she seems happy. “I’ll have your drink up for you soon. Good luck with the rest of your day.”

“Same to you.” As Haseul steps out of line, she glances back at Kahei. The red really does look great on her, and she’s happy she suggested it. The ring on her finger glitters as she tucks her hair behind her ears again, and Haseul quickly looks away, heartbeat picking up like it always did around Kahei.

“I have a latte for Haseul?” Mimi calls from behind the counter, like she doesn’t know who Haseul is, and Haseul sighs as she walks up to take it, shooting the other girl a polite smile.

“Thank you,” she says, and Mimi winks at her.

“No, thank you.”

She doesn’t want to know what that means, so she just nods awkwardly and escapes back to her help desk, cup clutched tightly in her hands. Amber looks up at her with raised eyebrows, and Haseul knows she’s been watching through the window.

“So, Kahei has red hair now. Did that have anything to do with you and her in the cafe the other night?”

Haseul jumps a bit and looks at her boss with wide eyes. “How do you know about that?”

“Youngjae told me.”

“Youngjae, what a snitch,” Haseul mutters, and Amber looks like she wants to push further, but another group of tired and wide-eyed students walk up to the counter, and she turns away reluctantly. Relieved, Haseul happily greets the students, but when she glances towards the cafe, she notices a certain red-haired girl looking right back at her. Kahei quickly turns away, but that doesn’t stop Haseul’s brain from short-circuiting, leaving her on pause in the middle of checking out a student’s books until the student awkwardly calls her name, snapping her out of it.

Amber snickers from beside her, and Haseul wonders when she became the useless gay of her friend group.

If there’s one thing that Haseul’s good at, it’s helping people. She’s confident when it comes to homework, no matter the subject. Tutoring comes naturally for her. So when Kahei texts her asking if they can study for finals together, Haseul immediately agrees. Somehow, she isn’t nervous when it comes to studying with Kahei. Maybe it’s because she knows that it’s something that she can do, but she feels comfortable sitting by Kahei’s side, quietly explaining anything she needs. Books and homework are familiar. And at some point, Kaheibecame familiar too.

It’s not the most fun thing to do on Friday nights, but studying with Kahei late into the evening becomes a habit that Haseul wouldn’t trade for the world. They usually use the library, an easy place that’s both safe and practical. But this Friday it’s apparent as soon as Haseul steps inside that their practical space is going to have to change. With finals creeping closer, the library has progressively gotten more and more crowded, now to the point of overflowing with stressed students desperately trying to get ready for the end of the semester. As a librarian, it doesn’t take long for her to realize there’s no space left but the floor, so she sighs and pulls out her phone, finger hovering over Kahei’s contact.

Until now, the library has been their safe space. But Haseul knows that there’s only one place left to go as she takes a deep breath and presses the call button next to the other girl’s name, slowly bringing the phone up to her ear.

“Haseul? What’s up?” The other girl sounds sweet even through the phone, and Haseul can hear the smile in her voice as she walks outside.

“It looks like the library is completely full today,” she says, playing with her hair with her free hand. “So I was wondering if you’d mind just studying at my dorm. I have a bigger room and my roommate won’t be home until late, so it should work out.” Her heart jumps around in her chest and she chews on her lip, holding her breath as she listens to Kahei hum in thought.

“That should be okay. You’ll have to walk me there, though. I don’t know where you live.”

”Oh, I’ll drive you! I always use the employee parking behind the library so we can just meet here.”

“You have a car? Nice!” Kahei laughs softly on the other side of the line. “I’ll be right over.”

“See you soon.” As she hangs up the phone, Haseul sinks onto one of the benches outside the library, letting out a sigh of relief. She doesn’t know what this means, but she also doesn’t have the time to think about it, so she busies herself reading her textbook until a gentle hand touches her shoulder and she looks up to see Kahei smiling at her.

“Are you ready to go?”

“Ready when you are,” Haseul says as she stands, returning her smile. “Sorry for springing a last-minute change on you.”

“It’s okay. I kind of thought it would get too busy in the library eventually.” It’s already getting late, and Kahei’s hair glows in the evening sunlight as she turns to look at the library. “This is a big campus, after all.”

“True.” Haseul knows a lot of words, big and impressive words. Her essays are perfect flows of impressive sentences strung together with professional language. She’s never gotten anything below a perfect grade when it comes to her writing. But somehow, she forgets all those big words when she’s with Kahei, stuttering over a tied tongue as she tries to find the right things to say. For now, she just pulls out her keys and settles on “the parking lot is this way” with a shy smile, stomach twisting as she finally realizes that Kahei is going to be in her room.

Her crush. In her room. Alone with her.

She can only hope that Hyunjin has cleaned her side of the room recently.

“I’m still amazed that you have a car,” Kahei says as the walk around the side of the library, breaking the silence. “I don’t think I know any other students with a car.”

Haseul feels herself blushing, a bit embarrassed. “It was a present from my parents about a year ago. It’s nothing special, but it does the job.” It’s true, her car has no bells and whistles to speak of. It’s plain and a bit ugly, but it’s hers, and she’s happy to have it. It looks a bit plain, now that she looks at it, bit Kahei smiles so she figures it can’t be that bad.

“I think it’s nice. I wish I had my drivers licence. It seems like it would be convenient.”

“I could always teach you to drive.” Haseul doesn’t know where all of her confidence today came from, but she’s not complaining as she snaps her seat belt into place and looks over at the other girl. “My car is relatively easy to drive anyway.”

Kahei’s face lights up and she raises her eyebrows. “Really? I don’t want to be a bother.”

“It’s nothing. After finals, just remind me and I can teach you a little.”

“I’d like that.” The red-head’s smile is contagious, and Haseul finds herself smiling the rest of the way to her dorms, happy to listen to the other girl’s soft voice as she tells her about her day.

Her dorm isn’t anything too special, but she’s proud of it. Still, Haseul can’t help but feel a little nervous as she opens the door and steps inside, making room for Kahei to come in behind her. It’s a bit bigger than some of the other dorms, with a private bathroom and tiny little “kitchen” area that consists of a sink, fridge, and microwave. There’s also enough room to have a small table with cushion seats pushed up against the wall, and Haseul motions to it as she kicks off her shoes.

“That’s usually where we do our homework. Go ahead and make yourself at home, I’ll grab some waters.”

“Thank you,” the older girl says, voice still soft as she closes the door behind her and steps inside, looking around curiously. Thankfully, the table is clean, and as Kahei sits down, Haseul arrives with two cold water bottles in hand. There’s a little bit of something in the air, but Haseul does her best to ignore it and push down her feelings as she sits down and gives the other girl a smile. It’s time to study.

“So, should we get started?”

They don’t get very far. Hardly thirty minutes pass by before Kahei’s stomach rumbles and Haseul looks up, eyebrows raised. The older girl looks a bit embarrassed as she shifts in her seat, and Haseul’s mom instincts kick in before she can even pause to think that maybe showing this side of her to her crush might not be the best idea.

“Are you hungry?”

Kahei rubs at the back of her neck. “I haven’t really eaten since lunch time, but I kind of forgot until now...”

“Since lunch?” Mom alarm sirens go off in her head, and Haseul immediately reaches for her phone. “Kahei! You can’t do that, you need to eat! I’ll order us some takeout.”

“You don’t have to do that,” Kahei says, a flush on her cheeks, but Haseul just shakes her head.

“I do have to. I’m hungry too anyway. And it’s bad to study on an empty stomach.”

The older girl bites her lip and clasps her hands together, an undecipherable look on her face, and Haseul wishes she knew what she was thinking as she looks away. “I’ll pay you back.”

“My treat.” Haseul misses the way Kahei’s flush gets deeper, looking through her phone contacts instead. “So, what are you in the mood for?”

They end up settling on chicken, and Hyunjin returns to the dorm to find them snacking on chicken while they study, notes scattered all over the table and Haseul’s phone playing some lo-fi playlist. The younger girl raises her eyebrows, but says nothing, just giving Haseul a discreet thumbs-up as she passes them to head to her bed. Kahei glances towards her when she flops down on the bed before turning back to Haseul. Suddenly, her shoulders are a little tight and she sits up straight, seeming almost nervous.

“Should I go? I don’t want to be in the way.”

It’s Hyunjin who answers from the bed, voice muffled from the pillow she buried her face in. “You aren’t in the way. Stay as long as you’d like.”

“Just pretend she doesn’t exist,” Haseul jokes, and the older girl humors her with a smile, but she still seems nervous and shy, shifting around in her seat.

“Maybe I’ll stay for a little longer, then.”

Despite her words, Kahei only stays for about a half-an-hour longer before insisting she should go.

“I have the morning shift at the cafe tomorrow,” she explains, and Haseul winces, feeling her pain. Morning shifts suck.

“I’ll walk you back, then.”

“You don’t have to. My dorm is just a couple blocks down.”

“But I want to.”

Kahei’s expression is unreadable, but she agrees, something twinkling in her eyes and a smile tugging at the side of her mouth. The night is crisp and quiet, and Haseul shivers a bit as she steps outside, though whether it’s because of the night chill or because of Kahei’s presence, she doesn’t know. Although silence with the older girl is usually comfortable, tonight there’s a bit of tension in the air that she doesn’t know how to deal with. It’s not heavy, but it almost feels like expectation, and Haseul’s mouth is dry as they approach the other girl’s dorm building.

“This is it,” Kahei says, clutching at her bag straps as she turns to look at the other girl. “Thanks for walking me back.”

“I couldn’t just let you walk alone,” Haseul says in return, and Kahei stalls for a moment. Silence hangs in the air, stars twinkling in the sky and artificial lights throwing shadows across their faces as they stand there on the stairs, stuck on pause. Kahei looks gorgeous even in the bad lighting, her red hair pulled back into a messy ponytail and her face bare, mouth slightly parted, and Haseul wonders what would happen if she kissed her. But the idea barely touches her mind before Kahei clears her throat and breaks eye contact, smiling awkwardly.

Haseul missed her chance, and she feels her heart flop in her chest as she shoves her hands into her pockets and tries her best to smile back.

“Um, would you like to come in and warm up with some tea before you leave?”

“Sure, I’d like that.”

When Haseul gets home, Hyunjin is waiting for her on her bed, eyes wide with curiosity. Haseul almost doesn’t have the heart to tell her the truth, because she knows exactly what the younger girl is thinking.

“So, what happened?”

With a sigh, Haseul tugs off her flannel and sinks into her own bed, closing her eyes. Behind her eyelids, the scene on the steps plays again, and she feels her heart pang. “Nothing. I walked her home and she invited me in for some tea and we chatted a little. And then I came back.” At the sound of Hyunjin’s groan, she opens her eyes and looks at the bed opposite hers. “What, were you expecting something?”

“It was the perfect time to kiss her! And you missed it! How emotionally constipated can you be?” Hyunjin groans again and falls back onto her bed, and Haseul looks back up at the ceiling. Had she messed up by not kissing Kahei back there? What would have happened if she did? Why didn’t she have the courage to just confess?

“Yeah,” Haseul says, closing her eyes again, voice soulless. “Yeah, I know.”

Finals are hell. Not even years of experience can soften the blow, and between doing her own finals and helping other students with theirs, Haseul is exhausted. After her last essay is done, she collapses into bed, skips her last class (it’s pointless, anyway) and sleeps until her alarm goes off to let her know that she needs to go to work.

Thankfully, the library is pretty much empty now that almost everyone is done with their finals, so when Haseul drags herself in five minutes late, Amber isn’t mad. Instead, she pats the younger girl on the head with a sympathetic smile and tells her that she can do the easy job of manning the front desk today, meaning that Haseul can probably nap in the office later if she’s lucky. It’s still early, though, so she settles into her chair behind the desk and tries not to doze off.

At some point, she’s unsuccessful and closes her eyes, because the next thing she knows, someone is clearing their throat, waking her up. She jumps slightly, gripping at her chair as she opens her eyes wide. On the opposite side of the desk is Kahei, and the younger girl knows she’s blushing as she blinks a few times, trying to wake herself.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you!” Kahei’s eyes widen and she takes a step forward, leaning over the desk with concern written all over her face. Embarrassed, Haseul waves her hand and coughs slightly, silently praying that she hadn’t drooled or snored or done anything else embarrassing while the other girl was there.

“It’s okay! I shouldn’t have been sleeping anyway,” she says, awkwardly running her hand through her hair and trying to slyly make sure there’s nothing on her face without letting Kahei see. Why was she always so awkward like this? “Um, is there something I can help you with?” It’s hard to force words out of her sleepy brain, sluggish from forcing herself to write all night, and she tries her best to focus on Kahei, not wanting to miss anything and make a fool out of herself.

“Um, no, not really. I just wanted to bring you a coffee since I figured you’d be tired after finals.” There’s a flush on her cheeks as Kahei smiles shyly and holds up the cup in her hand. “I guess I was right.” The older girl is framed by the shitty library lights and shelves of books upon books, nothing special and nothing new, but to Haseul, she looks like an angel. She looks nervous somehow, shifting from foot to foot as she holds out the coffee, but as Haseul takes the coffee from the other girl’s hands, her tired no-filter brain takes over and words tumble out of her mouth before she can stop them.

“How are you so perfect?”

Immediately, Kahei flushes a shade of red that Haseul has never seen before, almost matching her hair as she stutters, eyes wide. It’s only then that the words register in Haseul’s mind and wake her up, and her face flushes to match Kahei’s as she wonders if she can melt into the floor out of embarrassment, mentally kicking herself. Why did she say that? Why is she like this?

“I-I’m not perfect,” Kahei squeaks, bringing her hands up to cover her face, and Haseul’s heart feels like it might explode because she’s just so cute that it hurts. “B-But thank you.”

It’s obvious that there’s not going back now. You can’t just tell someone that they’re perfect and then just pretend it didn’t happen. So Haseul takes a deep breath and wraps her hands around the warm cup of coffee from Kahei, gathering up her nerves. “This is kind of out of nowhere but, um, I like you. And you’re perfect to me.”

Somehow, Kahei gets even redder, but there’s a smile on her lips. “Like, as in more than a friend?”

“Yeah. I like you much more than I like any of my friends. I actually like you more than anyone I’ve ever met.” That’s... a weird thing to say, but she can’t un-say it, so she just goes with it. “I’ve liked you for a long time.”

“Oh.” Kahei seems to let out a breath that she’d been holding and as she pulls her hands away from her face, her smile grows. “I like you too. More than a friend does.”

“That’s good. Great. Awesome.” Haseul hates her tired brain. “Oh my god I’m sorry I’m so awkward.”

Kahei giggles and tucks her hair behind her ears, and Haseul smiles like an idiot and almost falls out of her chair because cute. “It’s okay, I’m awkward too.” For a moment, they just stare at each other, blushing and grinning like crazy, until Kahei clears her throat and looks back at the cafe. “Um, I should probably get going. Mimi will get upset if I leave her to man the lunch rush by herself.”

“Oh, right.” Right. They’re both at work. This is a professional environment. Haseul really needs to drink this coffee.

“I’ll text you later?” Kahei looks hopeful and Haseul quickly nods her head.

“Yes! If you want, I can take you home after work.”

“I’d like that.” Kahei turns away and gives her a little wave, and Haseul waves back.

“I’ll see you then. Good luck with the rest of your shift!”

“You too. Don’t fall asleep again!”

It’s only after Kahei leaves that Haseul realizes that she didn’t ask her to be her girlfriend, and her head slams against the desk so loudly that Amber pokes her head around the office corner to shush her.

The rest of the evening drags by, and Haseul finds herself watching the clock impatiently, now wide awake as she waits for her shift to end. By the time her shift finally does end, she’s jittery, heart refusing to calm down as she clocks out with record speed. Amber seems to know what’s going on, because she lets her go a bit early to match up with the cafe schedule, sending her a wink and telling her to “get some” as she leaves. Haseul’s face heats up and she rolls her eyes, but she’d be lying if she said the idea didn’t linger for a bit in her head.

Kahei is waiting for her at the back of the library and she brightens up when she sees her, jumping up from the bench she’d been sitting on and clutching at her bag. “How was work?” She asks as Haseul approaches her, smiling widely.

“It dragged by,” Haseul says, truthfully, and Kahei laughs. “How about you?”

“Same here. I kept looking at the clock hoping it was time to close.”

“Me too.” Again, both of them are grinning, a slight flush on their cheeks, and Haseul clears her throat awkwardly. “Um, I realized that I never actually asked you to date me.”

“Oh, true.” Kahei giggles again, making Haseul’s heartbeat skyrocket. “Are you asking now?”

“I am. Will you be my girlfriend, Kahei?”

“Of course I will.” The older girl reaches out to take her hand, surprising her. “I’m really happy right now.”

Haseul feels a bit breathless. “I am too.”

The whole ride to Kahei’s apartment, the older girl holds one of her hands, telling her about her day and listening with a smile when Haseul talks about hers. It’s comfortable, and even though Haseul feels giddy, she also feels right. Kahei beside her feels right, and she wishes she would have done this earlier.

She says as much, and Kahei laughs softly, squeezing her hand. “Don’t. I’m happy with how things worked out,” she says, and her words calm Haseul’s heart, making her smile and look down at their intertwined hands.

“I am too.”

The drive is short, and as Haseul pulls into a parking spot outside the dorm building, she’s struck by deja-vu. For a moment, the air is silent, and then Haseul turns to look at her new girlfriend, heart picking up at the thought.

“Kahei?”

“Yes?”

“Can I kiss you?”

“Yes.”

Kahei’s lips are soft, much softer than Haseul’s own, and she smells like a mixture of rose perfume and coffee as Haseul leans in closer. The older girl brings a hand up to gently run her fingers over Haseul’s jaw, deepening the kiss. She tastes like coffee and the cookies from the library cafe, and kisses slow, taking her time to explore Haseul’s lips and mouth for herself.

When they finally pull apart, Haseul is breathless and head-over-heels in love, heart pounding as Kahei smiles shyly and tucks her hair behind her ears again. “Would you like to come inside for a cup of tea? And maybe something more?”

Haseul swallows and tries to contain her excitement, even as a smile breaks out across her face. “I’d love to.”

“Fucking finally!”

“Yeojin, language,” Haseul says, shushing the younger girl out of habit, but her hearts not in it. Instead, a silly smile stays on her lips as Kahei giggles and takes her hand under the table, moving just a bit closer to her.

“I second that statement,” Yerim says with a grin, raising her hand. “It’s great to finally see the two of you together.”

Sooyoung turns to look at Kahei and shakes her head. “I’m sorry our mom here took so long to ask you out. We tried to tell her to just go for it, but noooo.”

“Mom?” Kahei tilts her head a bit and Haseul covers her face with her free hand.

“I’m the mom friend,” she says, sighing a bit. “It’s a long story.”

“I hope you’re ready to have ten children,” Jiwoo chirps, and Haseul sends her a glare that her heart really isn’t in.

“Please don’t scare away my girlfriend, thanks.”

“I won’t get scared away that easily, don’t worry,” Kahei says with a giggle, leaning her head onto Haseul’s shoulder. “I’m ready to help you with all your adopted kids.” Haseul can feel herself flush, smiling again as she squeezes Kahei’s hand under the table, heart skipping a beat.

With a whistle, Hyunjin raises her eyebrows and looks over at Haseul. “Wow, you got a keeper. Not only is she willing to deal with your awkward self, but all of your adopted children too!”

“Jungeun is already writing the plot to a rom-com based on you,” Jinsoul informs Kahei with a smile, “she’s really great at writing, you’ll love it.”

“Does this mean we get free coffee at the cafe?” Heejin asks, and Hyejoo looks up, suddenly interested.

With a coolness that Haseul wishes she had, Kahei smiles and shakes her head. “Nope. Not even my girlfriend gets that. I have rules to follow.” That’s a lie, and Haseul has to stifle a laugh.

“Wow. Cut off just like that.” Yeojin dramatically wipes away a tear. “She’s going to be the stern parent.”

“Hey, I’m a stern parent!”

“Can we please stop referring to them as our actual parents?” Sooyoung shivers. “It’s weirding me out.”

“Sorry, they’re our parents,” Chaewon says, bouncing in her seat. “I’ve always wanted two moms!”

Sooyoung blinks and stares at the younger girl for a moment before just shaking her head. “That’s.... Super weird, thanks for sharing.”

“That’s not weird!”

“Stop shaming your sister, babe.”

“That’s also weird! Don’t rope me into this!”

As the table dissolved into chaos, Haseul sighed and shook her head, glad that finals were over and no one was around to complain about how loud they were. “Sorry about them. They’re kind of a lot.”

“No, I like it.” Kahei smiles as she looks up at her, and Haseul’s heart squeezes. “I like them. It’s fun, isn’t it?”

“I really did get lucky, didn’t I?”

“You hit the jackpot,” Kahei says, before immediately blushing and burying her face in Haseul’s shoulder. “That was so lame, I’m sorry.”

“I like lame,” Haseul replies, grinning as she looks down at her girlfriend. “I like anything you say.”

“That’s cheesy.” The older girl looks up with her eyebrows raised, smiling softly. “You’re lucky I like cheesy.”

“True.” Haseul leans in, pressing a quick kiss to her girlfriend’s lips that makes her flush and giggle, once again hiding her face in Haseul’s shoulder. The younger girl’s heart soars, and she can’t help the giant smile spreading across her face, happiness written all over her. Like this, the chaos around them fades away, and for a moment, it’s just the two of them in the room. “I like you a lot, you know.”

Kahei looks up, ignoring the squealing from the other girls. The red in her hair is fading and it almost looks pink again, and Haseul is reminded for a moment of the first time she thought Kahei was perfect as her breath catches in her throat. And then she remembers that Kahei is actually her girlfriend as the older girl presses a kiss to her jaw and squeezes her hand, making a love-sick grin move across her lips as Kahei whispers her response for only Haseul to hear.

“Good, because I like you too.”

#loona #viseul #vivi #haseul #femifics #loona fanfiction #loona fanfic #girl group fanfiction #kpop fanfiction #girl groups #kpop girl groups #t:collegeau

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latinxcastingmanifesto · 5 years ago

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Your questions answered

Recently you tweeted us questions. Gabi and Quiara spent a day eating lunch, sunbathing, and responding to what you asked:

@gmorningstunner: If you are an Afro-Latinx woman, and you look more African than Latina, how likely is it that you will be cast as a Latinx role?

A casting director cannot legally ask about your identity when casting. But if you want your identity to be known, you are free to and encouraged to share it! So, please do go audition for those Latinx roles, and consider sharing your identity on your photo/resume for that particular role.

Self-designation and self-id is an under appreciated casting tool! And trust me, the director, writer, and casting director want as much information about you as possible! But they’re not allowed to ask, plus if they have a more limited sense of the Latinx diaspora then they really may not know.

QUIARA: For writers, we need to consider ourselves producers, too, and push very hard for Afro-Latinx casting as normal and not exceptional. I have had to educate producers and casting directors that the cousins in my Elliot Trilogy plays, well, one cousin can be a black Latina and the other cousin a white Latino, and that this reflects the reality of many Latinx families. Many producers and casting directors didn’t know this and it was absolutely my job to advocate for the truth and integrity of my work. I have given up expecting other people to know my truth and reality, and I say it aloud and clearly and with love and as early in the process as possible. Say these things at the very first meetings, or it may be too late.

Another call to action for playwrights: designate on the script that your casting must include Afro-Latinx. Or say that loud and clear on the first casting conversation.

@SalvadorVasqu10: Why are stories of the latinx community still to this day some of the most un-produced works? How can we make Latinx stories more accessible to all? When are you and @TanyaSaracho gonna team up for a musical?

Who picks up a play and reads it? Not necessarily our family members.

Call to action: professors, help us spread the word about Latinx work by assigning Latinx reading.

Call to action: artists, we need to produce our own work and each other’s work in order to get it to the community. Downtown institutions are our allies, but if we rely exclusively on preexisting production pipelines, the community will remain on the fringes. Our assignment is to figure out how to center the community as artistic creators and producers.

Call to action: we are the living library. Keep creating and producing. We need a few more generations of this work. We need to reach a critical mass.

Call to action: swap reading lists with your Latinx theater allies. Spread the word about the work you know.

(As to Tanya Saracho, I can’t wait to world-build with that FEROCIOUS artist. Till then, I’m blessed to call myself a fan and ally.)

@dbirdsoprano: How can we do more to address the imbalance of privilege in representation onstage?

Call to action: playwrights, literally address it. Write poor characters, working class characters. Write non-college-educated characters. Show various family structures. Break silence.

Call to action: producers, invest in the leadership of POC. Not internships, top positions. Scrutinize and criticize seasons centering wealthy and well-educated characters.

Call to action: universities, teach about professional sustainability (grant-writing, for example) in addition to art curriculum so poor and working class students can stay in it for the the long hall and we don’t lose them for financial reasons.

@AlexChurchyG: As a Young Latina director, who can I look to for role models in an industry of old white men?

WOCA (Women of Color in the Arts) is a mentorship program for women of color in the theater.

Latina women have been directing plays and kicking ass. Latinx Theatre Commons is a phenomenal community of Latinx theater professionals including working Latina directors.

If you network with someone, follow up. It is not their job to chase you. Chase them! Invite them to coffee! They may say no. But they may say yes.

As Latinas, we’ve been trained to not ask for help. To be caretakers and never be on the receiving end. Stop it! Our spirits can ask for help.

@LaMeraFeli: I’m not in theater myself but have a daughter… can we talk about body type? Roles for the llenitas and the gorditas?

Make sure your daughter knows how to write. Make sure she’s jazzed about producing. If she’s sitting around waiting to get cast in gordita roles created by others, it’s not gonna happen or it will be brutal.

She should write her own stories and act in them. Or she should find a writer friend who gets who she is and ask them to create monologues for her.

Teach her to find her village. She’s not gonna do it alone.

Gabi literally started an entire theater company for this reason. Power Street Theatre Company. They are amazing and breaking new ground in Philly. Come to Philly and join their journey. Or create something like that in your own backyard.

@itsnikkig_: When are we going to start casting some fat Latinx actresses?!

Now. Writers, put ALL BODY TYPES in your actual character descriptions. Producers, put ALL BODY TYPES in your casting calls. You have to write it in as a clear directive or it will be more skinny bodies, always and forever.

@starmacosta: Is hiring an agent necessary? My mom does most of the work when it comes to booking or auditions…

GABI: I’ve always had that question myself. In Philly most of the actors I know don’t have agents. This may be contingent on where you live.

QUIARA: Find local working actors whose career you admire and ask them. For playwrights, no an agent is not necessary until you have a production contract in hand, or an offer from a producer. Then you get an agent. Before then, you have to get your own work produced. Use google to figure out which theaters have produced work that most resonates with your own. Submit your work to them. Or find your fellow travelers, find your village, and produce together.

@saybarra: How do we make space for aaaaalllll the variations of what it means to be Latinx in this country? In casting, in writing, in subject matter, in form, etc etc etc etc

The Latinx Theater Commons is very diverse in terms of pan-Latinx community. Find organizations doing the work, and they may not necessarily be theater groups. They may be drum circles, community college teachers, prayer circles. If you really can’t find a space you need, then it’s time to create the space. Bring the space into your living room or local park. We must always be creating space.

We are a diaspora, so how do we both engage all the specific variations of who we are while also embracing fluidity and openness? Those with more cultural leverage can use that to create spaces for underrepresnted Latinx stories: for instance, Latinx queer stories, Latinx trans stories, Afro-Latinx stories, biracial stories.

@zjriv: How do you manage your ideas? Every time I get writers block it’s because another comes along and I can’t stop thinking about it. Then another idea. Then another idea.

QUIARA: Sometimes you get 30 pages into an idea and can’t take it any further. That’s ok. Let it go. Let the new ideas continue to blossom in your imagination at their own speed. If they are still growing six months later, there may be a play there. Write what is speaking to you most today. No need to ignore it. The other stuff will still be there tomorrow. But also, letting ideas blossom is enough, they do not always need to be written out yet. I just had new insights for a play I thought up in 2003. I had forgotten about the play completely and then it tapped my shoulder over 15 years later.

@sleeplessinmit: What opportunities are available for presenting blended-language or Spanish-language works of theatre? What tools are available to make them accessible to all audiences?

Repertorio Espanol in New York has been doing this work for a very long time! Reach out to them and ask if they know of other bilingual theaters in your area. Ask what tools they use for this work. Suerte!

Also check out Spanglish theaters in your area. Miracle Theater in Portland, Power Street Theatre in Philly, Urban Theater Company in Chicago are just a few. Make allies and seek out mentors!

@omixmix: my plays are nonrealistic and include Spanglish. How do I shift attention to working on my style of nonrealism when everybody else seems to latch on to the “challenges of a foreign language”?

See above answer about Spanglish theaters. There are probably some in your area!

Also, stick to your guns. Live your truth, speak your truth, write your truth, and that’s what matters. You don’t need anyone’s permission to create, and you also cannot control others. Articulate to yourself and others why this work speaks to you and is important to you.

QUIARA: I have had to get into a deep practice as a playwright that I have no control over an audience. I only have control over the words I create. I have to believe in my writing, whether or not it’s what people want.

@ajdm: How do the Iberian colonial conquests in what we now call Asia (east, south, and Pacific) and those diasporic movements figure into this conversation?

Exactly. They do. What about collaborations and bridge-building between local Asian theater groups and Latinx theater groups? This would be fire. Let them know you’re hungry for this. Let them know how you willparticipate in bringing this question to the stage!

For instance, Power Street Theater Company (Gabi’s company) supports the Asian Arts Initiative. Gabi attends their town halls, though she’s Puerto Rican. She listens, observes and supports. And when she’s invited to share, she does. World building together, and doing the work.

Showing up for each other.

@alejandroraya_: I find casting requiring Latinx are given less reach than castings for other POC. Many projects in need of POC are often wide searching, but it seems casting for Latinx feels somewhat inaccessible. How do you feel casting directors can create larger reach for Latinx artist?

This is not necessarily true about other POC groups. A lot of communities have limited casting access and are underserved. This may be for budget reasons, and also because the roles simply aren’t being produced.

Create a list of all the Latinx folks you know, find out who the casting director is, and send it to them. Are there Latinx casting lists and resource groups in your area? The Kilroys did this cool experiment about creating a visible google-searchable list of unproduced plays by womxn. This may be a neat thing to do in your area for Latinx actors. The internet is a great tool for harnessing visibility!

@mingarla: If you don’t sing and dance as a Latina actress, is there any chance of finding work in theater? Seriously thinking of giving up my Equity membership.

GABI: I seriously relate to that.

QUIARA: This is hard. As a playwright, I have recently pressed pause on my playwriting life. For various reasons. It’s ok to step aside. I think life as an actor must be hard, because you’re at the whims of writers, producers, directors, etc. However, if you’re an actor who’s also a writer, designer, producer, then you can start to create work for yourself.

GABI: Another option is to find other paying jobs that sustain you, that you love, because you will need that income. If you’re only sustained by being an actor in someone else’s thing, then the reality is that’s a hard road.

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greatdrams · 6 years ago

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No longer lost in translation, a Whisky Tourist’s Guide to Japan

Tokyo has long had a special place in my heart, when I visited the first time I was a whisky fan who was exploring a city that had long been a fascination to me, now a decade later I returned with work and my experiences were a little different this time. Here is the GreatDrams whisky tourist's guide to Japan.

Check out the GreatDrams Ultimate Bar Guide to Tokyo too

Also see the detailed look at the Hakushu Distillery

Finally check out the most unrepeatable Japanese whisky tasting I've ever taken part in

Japan is more westernised now, easy to navigate and easy to communicate. Only time I needed my Google Translate app was in Duty Free to explain the concept of a flight transfer. Last time I was here it felt like another world, now it feels like my world; easier to navigate and communicate than France was when last there a year ago.

But has this westernisation come at a cost? I’m not sure in truth, but there were obvious let downs for me; I had spent ages pre-trip relearning business customs, phrases for getting around and how to order various sushi and drinks, but none of that was needed. And only one bar, Bar Butler, hand carved the ice balls whereas last time I was in town every bar did.

Maybe I have a romantic view of my last trip here a full decade ago, tho unlikely as I remember it vividly as I was ill for much of it with a form of Guillaume-Barre disease that effectively paralysed all the muscles in my face, meaning I had to manually chew and drink all drinks including neat whisky through a straw (would not be able to do that in the West now, but straws and plastic bags are everywhere here) which set in six hours after I landed in Japan and lasted until ten days after I was home. It was scary but I was so convinced I’d never be back here, and I am not one to really dwell on stuff like that, that I travelled the whole city, saw it and experienced it all. Who knew; the face freeze might have spread elsewhere as Guillaume-Barre often does, but it normally starts from the legs up, so I had to get on with things whilst I could.

Hence why I don’t think there is a huge amount of romantic rose tinted glasses retrospection here… although last time I did get to meet a monkey and have a photo with him, though like most photos from that trip I look miserable despite having an absolute belter as my face muscles could not raise a smile… I must have been the moodiest-looking tourist ever.

What hasn’t changed is the how busy and the extreme individuality of nearly every citizen within a culture of extreme conformity.

One of the things I was most impressed with was the people; they are so approachable and gentle, even if they cannot speak English they do their best to work out what you are saying.

The best example of this was when I was bar-hunting I kept getting to the address on Google and then drawing a blank as the addresses are so random and there are so many floors to each building with very few properly sign-posted that it is so hard to work out how to get in there unless you know the area. With that in mind I had to ask a LOT of people for help with directions and two in particular were incredible. If they can’t direct you they will walk you where you need to go, as noted in my Ultimate Bar Guide to Tokyo, “there was one guy who walked five blocks in circles asking people until it was clear it was impossible to find the place, then there was the guy who walked back from where he was going to discover the bar was on the 8th floor of his apartment block and he never knew. Be prepared to clock the steps in trying to hunt them down”.

Unbelievable.

[divider]BARS[/divider]

Japanese whisky was once the pride of each bar, now a selection of limited edition and single cask Scotches haves replaced that as they cater more for locals - which is understandable, but a challenge for tourists.

If you’re looking for bars, firstly check out my Ultimate Bar Guide to Tokyo, but here are the ones I would highly recommend:

Butler Ginza Branch

8 Chome-7-7 Ginza, Chūō, Tokyo 104-0061, Japan

Le Connaisseur

〒104-0061 Tokyo, Chūō, Ginza, ８丁目-４-２６

Tokyo Whisky Library

〒107-0062 Tokyo, Minato, Minamiaoyama, ５丁目5−24 南青山サンタキアラ教会

[gallery type="rectangular" link="file" ids="33051,33052,33053"]

Bar Benfiddich

〒160-0023 Tokyo, Shinjuku, Nishishinjuku, 1 Chome−13−7 大和家ビル

El Calvador

SK Bldg 4F, 1-3 Maruyamacho, Shibuya-ku, Tokyo

Shinagawa Highball Bar

Exit Shinagawa Station using the East Exit and walk about 300 metres straight ahead of you, you cannot miss it

[gallery type="rectangular" link="file" ids="33047,33048,33049"]

Hibiya Bar Whisy-S II

8F Noco Building 5-6-5 Ginza, Chuo-ku

[divider]BUYING WHISKY IN JAPAN[/divider]

No whisky tourist's guide to Tokyo would be complete without a list of retailers you should try to visit if you’re looking for interesting whiskies, although there are no guarantees that there will be any gems, but you simply never know and ranges seem to change daily in some of them:

Liquors Hasegawa

http://www.liquors-hasegawa.com

〒104-0028 Tokyo, Chūō, Yaesu, 2 Chome−1, 八重洲地下街中4号

Liquor Mountain

1-2-16, Kabuki-cho, Shinjuku-ku, Tokyo

Shinanoya World Wine and Foods - Shinjuku

Absolutely brilliant range of bottles - including limited edition Scotch and Irish whiskeys, as well as standard Japanese bottlings. 〒160-0021 Tokyo, 新宿区Kabukicho, 1 Chome−12−9 タテハナビル

A family-run liquor store about 300 metres down the road (east)

Just down the road from World and Liquor Mountain, I’m pretty sure it was a mom and pop store and was crazy cluttered, but at the back of the shop was a glass-fronted cabinet with a load of local bottles as well as some Scotch offerings and various interesting Japanese bottles too.

Isetan Department store

Great store, like the Harrods of Tokyo, and not only has it got a few great bottles there you can buy samples of many of the bottles they sell so you can try the stuff as well as buying it.

〒160-0022 3-14-1, Shinjuku, Shinjuku-ku, Tokyo

Isetan Duty Free store near the Ginza Station

Address: 104-8212 4-6-16, Ginza, Chuo-ku, Tokyo

The best part of this store is that, whilst their range is super-limited, you can buy the bottles and pick them up at the airport once you are past security to save on your luggage packing, given you will probably have other bottles to pack in as well!

[divider]MOVING AROUND THE COUTRY VISITING DISTILLERIES[/divider]

Tokyo, and Japan a whole, is really easy to move around, make sure before you travel you get a JR Pass from jrpass.com, it will cost £206 with special delivery and arrives super-swiftly. This will be your gateway to Tokyo and the whole of Japan as, as long as you use any of the JR lines which take you all over the place.

$rfsn_creative.generate('refersion_client/4644/creatives/dynamic/30030-d1efe313b3b721082c0bc9f5b5a4a605.json', { aid: '1445123.87f2d' });

Make sure you get a SkyRoam device, I hired one for around £115 plus £7 per day I was away and it was invaluable; it is effectively ‘internet in your pocket’ and actually felt like I was carrying ‘the internet’ each day. Good battery, allows you to connect five devices at once to it and mimics a local 4G network which you then connect to without paying more than your daily fee through SkyRoam. Marvellous. At times I got better connection than I do in my office! Buy here, and yes for this one I have an affiliate link as I was so impressed with it. Use coupon code GREATDRAMS to save 10% on your booking... win-win.

One thing to say up front; don’t expect many, if any distillery exclusives to add to your collection, Suntory do not seem to see the value in them and the distilleries I visited were too young to have mature spirit, although Asaka had bottles of their spirit that had been aged in various casks for up to six months available for around £28 - £40.

Gaia Flow

Travel on the Bullet Train from Shinagawa Station, which takes about 50 minutes - I would advise going to the ticket booking office and reserving a seat free of charge as these trains get really packed and you do not want to stand all that way.

Once you arrive at the Shizuoka Station, take a 35 minute taxi to Gaia Flow. Taxis will be outside the station to the left, and they are unlikely to know where you are going so show them the address and if you have a GPS device pre-load it so they can have a look.

Definitely call or email ahead of your visit as their visitor centre won’t be fully open until mid-way through 2019 but they are set up for brief tours if you so desire but it is courteous to let them know before you arrive so they can be free.

Asaka

From where you are staying take the JR line to Tokyo Station, which is MASSIVE, and take the bullet train to Kohriyama Station which will take about 80 minutes if memory serves. Then get a taxi to the Asaka Distillery. Again get in touch before going to ensure they are available and able to show you around. They have a shop which take cash only, but where you can try numerous young versions of their spirit including one maturing in Mizunara wood. They usually have limited edition whiskies in for purchase too that are limited to around 300 bottles each.

Hakushu

[gallery type="rectangular" link="file" ids="33044,33045,33046"]

Nearest station: Kobuchizawa, 1 hours 59 minutes from Shinjuku station in central Tokyo, then a 15 minute taxi to the distillery (or use the courtesy bus put on by the distillery at the weekend if it works with your itinerary). Simple.

[divider]IN SUMMARY[/divider]

Check out the GreatDrams Ultimate Bar Guide to Tokyo too

Also see the detailed look at the Hakushu Distillery

Finally check out the most unrepeatable Japanese whisky tasting I've ever taken part in

Japan is a phenomenal country with awesome people and an amazing amount of things to see and culture to experience so make sure you plan well and pay attention to train times as they are NEVER late.

The post No longer lost in translation, a Whisky Tourist’s Guide to Japan appeared first on GreatDrams.

from GreatDrams https://ift.tt/2NJgEkA Greg

#whisky #GreatDrams

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drawingsdrawingseverywhere · 7 years ago

Text

Trollhunters Dadswap AU part 22

Heimdrel is slain, The Bridge is destroyed, and what remains of The Witch’s forces on our side of the portal?

In which I have also given up on making these short and instead have decided to just go with the flow

Hey how’s it going guys good to be back now let’s see where were we

oh yes Toby being chased by a cat literally made of fire. That’s a thing. We follow canon up until the point Jim and Toby, fleeing the cat turn to the park where Strickler and Angor Rot are waiting with their trap.

“Now are you certain this is an Illuminaire?” Strickler pulls an artifact borrowed from the Galadrigal brothers out from under his cloak. “This will only work if it’s an Illuminaire.”

The Fiery Feline (ha ha) turns a corner and Jim points while taking the Amulet of Daylight out of his pocket.“You tell me!”

Angor Rot quickly grabs onto the boys and slowly backs away with Strickler in tow, no one breaking sight with the monster.

“oooooh dear. We have a problem” Strickler plucks a few knives from his cowl.

Jim doesn’t break his focus off of the very angry creature. “No don’t tell me. Let me guess. This isn’t an Illuminaire.”

“correct.”

“and that artifact is absolutely useless in this situation.”

“also correct.”

“great.”

Angor Rot draws his knife while Strickler tosses the item aside. He puts his arms out protectively in front of Jim and Toby. Toby pulls out his phone and starts taking pictures out of panic.

“This is an Infernal Hellheeti, Jim.”

“Well how was I supposed to know that?! It’s a fiery creature that came out of a rock! How many of those come out of rocks?!”

“about Eleven, thirteen if you include-”

“Look it’s either finish my algebra homework or research all countless magical creatures known to trollkind and which one do you think my mom would buy?”

“fair enough, Barbra did mention you’ve been struggling in that area.”

“can it be killed?” Angor Rot is already stepping forward to come between the Hellheeti and the boys.

“Go for it, bro! Give em a taste of the Shadow King!”

“wait what? Just what kind of talks are you and my mom having?”

“Nothing serious! Just idle chatting! She’s just concerned about your grades is all!”

“Uh guys??? kinda running out of Park to escape in!”

“Can I kill it?!” Angor Rot is standing in the front by this point. He’s ready to strike.

“YES” Jim and toby cry.

“Wait Angor don’t--!!!”

But it’s too late. Angor Rot was already on the attack. He strikes the Hellheeti with Skathe-Hrun, and then after a swift kick cuts it in half with his knife. The embers fall to the ground while Jim and Toby cheer. Angor Rot adjusts his grip on his knife before sheathing it.

moments later the embers burst back into life, forming 5 Hellheeti from the remnants of the first.

“As I was trying to say, attacking a Hellheeti will only make matters worse!”

our heroes are quickly surrounded. Jim looks to Strickler for advice.

“Well if we can’t fight it how do we stop it?!”

“The only way to stop a Hellheeti is douse it’s flames!”

“How do you do that?”

“The obvious answer is water but I didn’t exactly come prepared to be cornered by one Hellheeti let alone five!”

Toby notices something in his phone camera and points quickly. “would a fire hydrant do the trick?!”

Jim and Angor Rot exchange glances and nod. Angor Rot activates Skathe-Hrun with a roar, sending the Hellheeti pack backing up for a moment, and it’s a long enough pause to give him time to open a portal. Jim sees the other end appear by the Hydrant and races inside.

As Jim leaps into the portal he summons his armor. He uses this moment of weightlessness to just focus on coming out the other side, and he reenters reality with a bright flash. The Hellheeti are distracted by the flash, and Jim yells to get all their attention.

“hey!” he spins his sword and then challenges them with his hand. “Come and get some.”

The monsters charge at an intense speed, and if it wasn’t for Jim’s skill with the Sword of Daylight he wouldn’t have been able to cut the hydrant in time. It’s too late for the swarm of Hellheeti to stop before the majority of them are doused by the water. Jim finishes off the last one like he does in canon and it’s pretty dang awesome.

“go get some rest, you two. There’s a pop quiz tomorrow and I will not hear it if you try telling me you didn’t have time to study cause I know for a fact you did.”

“alright, you make sure Angor Rot gets back to the market before sunrise. It’ll be dawn soon!”

That morning Jim is hard at work at making breakfast for himself and his mom. With Bhaltair gone things have been nuts at the hospital. Barbra quickly makes a bowl of cereal and runs out, kissing Jim on the head on the way.

Jim voices his worries on the way to school with Toby.

“It’s a shame he’s such a good doctor,” Toby replies while biking circles around Jim. “Your mom actually got a bit of rest while he was around.”

“believe me Toby I would totally wish he’d come back if it meant my mom could get a well deserved break. but it’s for the best that he’s gone. I just wish it was possible to tell her why I’m worried.”

“why don’t you?”

“And end up in the crazy house?!”

“good point. Doesn’t help that you told Claire we’d get Enrique out of the Darklands.”

Jim rolls his eyes, “toby we’ve been over this! He’s stuck in the Darklands! I can’t just leave him there!”

“know what else is in the Darklands? Certain death!”

Things follow along with canon at this point up until Jim and Toby go to class. Claire pushes her chair back and turns to face them. They go through the same conversation up until Strickler enters the class.

“alright, everyone. Seats forward, pencil’s out. Today we will be having a pop quiz on the Roman Empire, and I expect each of you to do your best. Consider this for Extra Credit for the chapter.”

Class goes by smoothly and as Claire picks up her books Strickler calls to her over from his desk.

“Miss Nunez, a word if you please.”

The class clears out and Strickler stops Jim and Toby before they leave as well.

“Lake, Domzalski, you as well.”

He fiddles with his pen while the students approach his desk. Strickler waits until the door closes to speak.

“so... I thought it over, and it feel like it’s time you join us in Trollmarket, Claire.”

“Are you serious?” Claire steps closer. “when are we going? are we going now?”

Strickler raises his hand with a light chuckle. “calm down, calm down. You still have other classes to attend. We shall go together this afternoon after school. Jim and Toby will show you the way, and I shall meet you there.”

That afternoon, like Strickler said, the professor is waiting beneath the bridge.

“Everyone ready?”

Jim pulls the Horngazel out from his bag and hands it to Claire. She takes a deep breath.

“If it means getting some answers, I’m ready for anything.”

Strickler nods and turns to the canal wall, drawing a line for Claire to trace. Claire steps forward, and Strickler raises his hand.

“Just a moment, I feel it right to have no secrets between us.” In a flash Strickler is back in his true form and for a moment Claire freezes. “still ready to go on?”

Claire swallows hard and nods.

“I’m ready.”

“very good. Simply follow the mark I’ve drawn and we can be on our way.”

Claire is in awe as the portal opens and the staircase of Crystal appears. Before they can react she races down as fast as she can, taking in every sight as she goes on. Jim, Toby, and Strickler only catch up with her once she reaches the bottom steps. Strickler steps in front of her and stops her before she sees the market.

“now Miss Nunez, we must establish rules before you just go wherever you please! Trolls don’t take very kindly to humans. You must act with the utmost respect and tact while traversing this place!”

“whatever you say, sir,” Claire nods, directly after slipping past him to finally see the Market with her own eyes. She is, naturally, stunned. “it’s.... beautiful.”

“Welcome to Heartstone Trollmarket.” Claire takes Jim’s hand as he approaches, in moments pulling him down the steps as she talks about how lovely everything is.

“can I live down here?!”

Strickler is quick to intervene. “I don’t think that would be a good id-”

she’s gone in seconds.

“oh no”

Jim, Toby, and Strickler give chase in vain as Claire weaves through the crowd with glee, it’s not until she bumps into Angor Rot himself walking with AAARRRGGHH!!! that she comes to a stop.

“you! I remember you! You’re-”

“Angor Rot.”

Claire graciously bows. “I never got the chance to thank you for saving my life.”

Angor Rot returns the gesture, “it is I who should be thanking you for saving mine.”

As Strickler and the boys catch up with her, Claire and Angor are already deep in conversation while she looks AAARRRGGHH!!! over.

“Jim told me about how you both helped him slay Heimdrel, and how you caught him midair after he zapped a Tyreta Stalkling with lightning!”

Strickler glances over to Jim, “just how much have you told her...?”

“not much....?”

AAARRRGGHH!!! naturally starts to look uncomfortable after a bit of prodding, which is understandable considering his past, and Strickler gently directs Claire away.

“Ooookay, Claire I think you’ve had enough fun for one-”

and she’s off again.

“day.”

She turns a corner and Strickler and Angor Rot are instantly aware of what could go down. The trolls race after her in panic at this point.

“Nomura’s pottery shop! Is that where Toby got his Gnome? And where’s the Galadrigal Library? I have so many questions to ask Dictatious and Blinky!”

Claire gasps.

“Is that the troll pub?!”

Strickler and Angor Rot pass terrified glances to each other. It obviously is not long before Claire spots the Elder of Trollmarket, Vendel, in the middle of enjoying himself with a drink. By the time Strickler and Angor Rot enter, he has already spotted her. Both take a drink to brace themselves for this terrible situation. After taking a good look at Vendel’s face, Strickler takes two.

Vendel is obviously angry, especially when Claire tries to introduce herself and thank him for letting her into the market. Strickler can’t help but somewhat hide behind Angor Rot as Vendel let’s his anger out.

“I allowed the trollhunter here because he was chosen, and I allowed the chubby one in for emotional support! But now a third????”

Strickler tries to defend the decision when Claire suddenly introduces herself again, this time in troll.

Congrats to Claire for saving Strickler’s life this time.

with Vendel dealt with, and Claire free to go through the market, there’s one last place she wants to see. It’s a tough choice, but eventually the team agrees to let Claire see the vault, and by extension the remains of Kilahead bridge. Angor Rot opens it with a simple touch, and they walk quietly inside.

“this is as close as we can allow you to the Darklands, I’m afraid.”

Claire says her peace, sitting beside the Keystone and promising her brother they’d get him out somehow. With Claire satisfied, Strickler puts his hand on Toby’s shoulder.

“Toby, if you would be so kind to show Claire the Hero’s Forge, Jim and I have some things to discuss.”

Toby and Angor Rot lead Claire to the forge, where she quickly spots Bular hard at work.

“Is that Bular? Gunmar’s son?”

“In the flesh.... well... ya know.... stone flesh.”

Bular scratches at the metal covering on his face, mumbling to himself while he picks up stones and puts them in place on a statue. He is unnaturally silent while he works. Claire leans over towards Toby, while also trying to get a better look at his project.

“What’s that statue he’s working on?” her voice is barely over a whisper.

Bular is quick to respond, looking over his shoulder, “I do not make statues.”

Claire freezes as Bular fully turns to face them, remembering seeing him for the first time in the chilling dark of Jim’s Basement- eyes burning through the shadows. Bular waves a hand towards the figure before getting back to work.

“I am restoring my father to his former glory.”

“Took a while to track down all the stones,” Toby explains, “hate to be there when they gotta put Jim back together.”

awkward silence.

“okaaaaaaaaaay just grossed myself out.”

Claire watches Bular work a while longer.

“you guys train in an arena decorated with the remains of former Trollhunters? That is....... so awesome!”

Claire looked over to Angor Rot and Toby. “can we turn it on?”

Before they can stop her she’s already trying to find the controls.

Meanwhile Strickler is hard at work checking various maps and textbooks, while also helping Jim repair the vespa they built.

“so, Claire Nunez. You two are closer than I thought.”

“something wrong with her? You seemed just fine with bringing her here this morning.”

Strickler laughs, “I have nothing against Miss Nunez. She’s one of my best students, not counting you. Popular. Lovely. I can see why you care so deeply for her. You’d go to the ends of the Earth for her.”

Jim starts flipping through a book but almost drops it as Strickler continues

“or the Darklands.”

Jim laughs nervously. Strickler closes the lid to the Vespa and directs his attention to one of the books on the table.

“The heart can be a dangerous thing, Jim. It can lead you to places you shouldn’t go.”

“how did you-”

“figure it out? it wasn’t hard when you made it so easy. I swear on Deya’s Grace, Draal’s infatuation with Nomura was less obvious!”

“It’s her brother, Strickler, and I made her a promise! I can’t--”

“The biggest difference between you and Claire is that you are fully aware of the danger that lies in the Darklands! If you were to go alone you would undeniably be killed!”

Jim flips through a book only partially listening.

“Which is why I won’t allow you to go alone.”

“You said I have to answer every call, Strickler! Now I- wait... what?”

Strickler sits by Jim’s side, hand on his shoulder in a sign of support.

“Angor Rot and I have been discussing it along with Nomura. We know you’re going in there no matter what we say. As risky as going to the Darklands would be, if Claire’s brother is that important to you, he’s important to us. We are a team, and no decision you make is going to change that.”

Jim smiles to Strickler, who in return smiles back, when Nomura runs in with Angor Rot at her heels.

“Strickler!”

Both Jim and Strickler rise to their feet.

“What’s wrong? Are the children alright?”

Nomura grabs onto Strickler’s arm and begins leading them to the Forge with Jim and Angor Rot close behind.

“If we don’t hurry they wont be!”

Jim, Strickler, and Angor Rot race into the Forge to see it going absolutely haywire. Toby and Claire are dangling for their lives. Jim races forward and skids to a stop when he spots Bular also trapped on the Forge’s ever changing form.

“What’s going on?!”

“I don’t know!” Bular digs his claws into the stone as he tries skidding down and leaping onto another platform. “the fleshbags were looking at the Soothescrayer when it suddenly went nuts!”

“well can’t you turn it off?”

Bular jumps off the platform towards another only to be knocked back by a spinning axe. He digs his claws into the wood as he’s thrown about only to land on a different platform miles away from where he was trying to go.

“I would if this was something The Forge has done before!”

Angor Rot takes a few steps back to look at everything and points. “the Soothescrayer is still active.”

Stricker, Jim, and Angor Rot jump onto the Forge. “Jim, Angor and I will get Claire and Toby, you get to the Soothescrayer! There’s an emergency shut off switch in it’s mouth!”

Jim nods and starts climbing. There’s a long and hard climb as Angor Rot just barely catches Toby as he falls off of a spinning platform, and as Strickler leaps to catch Claire as she also begins to fall. Jim reaches the Scryer and reaches in just at that moment. He swings his sword into the floor and uses it as a pedestal to climb up and shut the machine off. Strickler catches Claire as the platform begins to settle down, He uses his own claws to slip down safely until the platform settles itself back to normal.

The eyes of the Soothescryer begins to glow intensely, and as Bular joins the others safely to the ground he is the only one who truly understands what’s happening.

There is a flash, and Jim is gone.

“JIM?!” Toby wiggles out of Angor Rot’s arms.

“he’s gone!”

“Not gone.” Claire and Toby spin around to Bular and Strickler. Strickler is staring wide eyed while Bular looks down to the kids. “He has been summoned.”

“Summoned?!” Claire grabs onto Strickler’s cape to make him look away from the Scryer to her. “what does he mean by SUMMONED?!”

Strickler slowly looks back up to the Soothescrayer, a glimmer of pride and surprise in his eyes. “He has been summoned by the elder council.”

Jim is covering his ears as the platform and the Scryer whirs to a stop. Opening his eyes, he looks around to see the Forge in a whole new light. Now it is covered in mist, and the faint glimmer of stars, and everything is glowing a mystical blue. He rises to his feet.

“h-hello?”

“he is but a child!” “a human!” “he is not worthy!”

voices whisper and hiss about him, and Jim finds himself drawing his blade in defense.

“So the boy appears to us at last.” A deep voice echoes in the empty space. “but are you worthy of this place?”

Before Jim can think a massive troll that appeared to be made of nothing more but mist is charging towards him, sword aimed to strike. Jim parries, and after a swing of his sword the troll vanishes into mist. In moments the troll reappears behind Jim, and on instinct Jim makes them vanish again. once more the troll appears, but with this swing the troll performs a maneuver that forces the Sword of Daylight out of Jim’s hand and into the hand of the troll before him.

With the sword at his throat, Jim realizes he can see this troll only has one eye, and he is wearing the same armor.

“how did you-” he begins, but the troll interrupts with an intensity Jim feels like he’s seen before.

“silence!” the troll’s eye narrows. “you stand before a grand council.”

Jim looks over to the statue yet to be placed in it’s spot in the Forge and it suddenly clicks. “Gunmar.... G-Gunmar the Black! The voice in my Amulet, that was you!”

“our amulet!” another voice hisses from the statues above.

a different voice speaks over the first. “We are the council of elder trollhunters!”

The Sword of Daylight vanishes out of Gunmar’s hand and back into Jim’s, and while Jim tries to process what is happening Gunmar subtly begins to circle him.

“does.... does this mean I’m dead?” Jim looks to Gunmar for an answer. “that’s what happened, isn’t it? The forge went haywire and it killed me!”

“You are still in the Forge, in a way,” Gunmar replies. The warlord raises a hand to present the ethereal land around them. “Welcome to The Void. A place in between worlds. Here the Trollhunter receives council from those who have fallen before them, should they be worthy of it.”

Jim watches quietly as Gunmar continues, “we have been watching you, waiting for the moment to arrive when we saw it fit to grant you entry to this place.”

“so the arena going nuts... that was you?”

Gunmar nods, arms folded behind his back and towering over Jim but listening nonetheless.

“and.... wait hang on did you say you’ve been watching me???”

Gunmar unfolds his arms and waves his hand, “we have seen everything. From your triumphs,”

at the wave of Gunmar’s hand suddenly a cloud of mist shoots out and creates an image before himself and Jim. Seen within is the moment Jim first struck through Heimdrel, and the aftermath as the tyrant faded into the unforgiving water below.

“and your failures”

another flash and the scene melts into the battle at the museum where Jim sees himself being forced to place the amulet into the bridge by Bhaltair- opening the portal and almost releasing The Witch.

“all the way down to your deceptions.”

one last movement and Jim sees himself from that morning, promising Claire they would get Enrique back.

Jim can’t help but feel guilt rise up into his throat. He can’t bring himself to face Gunmar as the troll speaks to him.

“we know what you’re up to, Jim Lake, and it will bring you nothing but your own destruction.”

Jim spins to face the troll now.

“We have to go. I promised. and isn’t it my duty to-”

Gunmar vanishes into mist and reappears directly in front of Jim. He growls furiously and is face to face to the surprised and scared Jim.

“Your duty, young trollhunter, is to maintain the balance between our world and your world above- to protect all life from the death The Witch, Argante, creates- not to release ancient evils in search of one human child!”

“but I-”

“Enough!” Gunmar turns from Jim and as he does another cloud of mist appears with a wave on Gunmar’s hand. “to be the Trollhunter is to be the only thing standing between this world and those who wish it harm. It is your sole mission to protect humankind and trollkind.”

within the mist reveals one of Gunmar’s own memories of training with Bular. With another wave of Gunmar’s hand, Jim now sees the moment in which he helped Bular out of the museum rubble to discover part of his face had been turned to stone.

“something you have already failed to do.”

Jim is quiet for a time as he stares at Bular’s shocked face. He looks to the ground before taking a deep and well needed breath.

“look, I’m not perfect. I’m not. And I know that he’s your son. Trust me he’s never let me forget it.” Jim looks up to Gunmar who is standing tall in reaction to Jim’s reply. “but Bular made that choice, and I would have done it for him if we were in opposite places. And you know what else? For spirits who have been watching everything I do, you seem to be purposefully ignoring all the good I’ve done.”

Gunmar doesn’t move an inch as Jim approaches him. Jim stands his ground as he looks up to the larger trollhunter and continues,

“and I’ve done it with my friends at my side, including your son! I’m sorry I don’t meet some unspoken standard you guys waited until I killed The Witch’s second-in-command to finally tell me, but there are a lot of things we’ve done together as a team!“

“he mocks us!” “he is a failure!” “do not let him speak further!” “The Amulet chose incorrectly!”

Jim gave the room a worried glance as the choir of furious voices began to cry out louder and louder, until Gunmar himself suddenly yelled to the council.

“We have given him our council, he has the right to speak!”

Gunmar turns to Jim and he lets out a somewhat heavy sigh.

“and as much as it pains me to see my own son sacrifice his eye as i did, I trust his decision to trust this boy. We shall let him speak.”

Back in the land of the living Strickler is doing his best to relieve Claire and Toby over their friend who just vanished out of thin air.

both are unconvinced.

“ok but the word ‘Void’ sounds pretty bad, Strickler!”

“Yeah! And when you say ghosts are we talking old and wise sage spirits or the kind that will suck out your soul just by looking at you?!”

“they will not take his soul! Merely, they will look into it. The Void exists to-”

Before Strickler can go on, Jim begins to re-materialize in the center of The Forge. Bular is the first to be at his side, helping him come back to reality and regain his senses.

“YOU’RE OK!” Toby goes down on one knee to kneel by Jim, Claire closely behind.

“so trolls and ghosts exist. What else are you going to tell me? Fairies next?”

Strickler scoffs. “Actually the Fairies lost their war to the pixies long ago- oh never mind that! Jim what did they say?”

Angor Rot and Bular help Jim to his feet.

“They say they wont stop us, Gunmar especially.”

Bular perks up, “what exactly wont they stop you from?”

Jim takes a deep breath once he’s finally back to his senses. This would be hard to explain.

“From going to The Darklands. But if we’re going in there, they say we’re not getting out alive without killing Argante.”

Strickler passes a sharp glance to Angor Rot and AAARRRGGHH!!! at the mentioning of The Witch’s true name, but then looks back to Jim.

“are you certain?”

“yeah. But guys, with Heimdrel out of the picture, Kilahead Bridge here in Trollmarket, and Bhaltair no where to found, maybe.... maybe we could actually have a chance.”

We then move on to a new place. Changelings sit in every chair and couch, conversing for each other as the Janus Order will soon be coming into order. Many are talking about their leader Bhaltair, and his continuous absence. Otto creeps in through the back door, tipping his hat down to obscure his face and just trying to slip back into an open seat. He is, of course, spotted before he gets very far.

“You there! Scaarbach! You’re practically Bhaltair’s right hand man at this point. You of all people would know where our wise and powerful leader is!”

Otto stutters, removing his hat and having a heard time explaining just what Bhaltair has been up to. He is cornered by a specific changeling, when suddenly the doors crash open.

"right behind you"

Bhaltair enters, soaking wet, and holding something bundled up in his hand."I'm surprised with you, Petrok. You seem irritated with me. why not voice your concerns for all of us to hear? I'm sure there are others in the order with the same thoughts."

The changeling clears his throat, worried. "th-the Bridge has been destroyed for months now. Why unite the changelings into an Order if we would be without the Head for ages on end? We've had no knowledge of your whereabouts except for what Otto has passed on to us."

Bhaltair shifts the bundled item in his hands slightly to more comfortable hold it. "hmmmm.... I see.... So you are curious as to what I've been up to all this time? am I right?"

"you could say that."

"or is it perhaps.... You don't think I should be leading if I'm never here to lead?"

The changeling backs away with a defensive hand raised when Bhaltiar locks eyes with them. "oh no not that at ALL, sir! I just.... a few of us are growing restless is all! Perhaps you could inform us just why this Order has been created?"

Bhaltair approaches, and the changeling goes to his knees already begging forgiveness. "Why so nervous, Petrok? Do you fear for your life now that you remember just what happens to those who question my leadership?"

"N-No sir! I just fear if we do not act soon, the boy will find us out, is all! I only wish to ensure victory for Argante!"

Bhaltair hums in thought and then lightly pats Petrok’s head. "I see! Well then I'm sure you wont mind if I tell her that you feel this way."

Before the Changeling can say anything else Bhaltair turns his attention to Otto "Scaarbach, with me. We shall tell Argante personally just what happened at the Bridge."

Otto nods and catches up to Bhaltair who is already leaving the room, taking a moment to glance at the changeling still on their knees and terrified out of their wits. As soon as they're out of earshot Otto turns his focus to Bhaltair.

"sir do you really think it's wise to-"

"I must speak with Argante immediately."

"Good news, I hope?"

Bhaltair's silence gives Otto the answer he needs.

Bhaltair opens the doors to a magically sealed room, and the moment he and Otto are passed the doors they close tightly behind them. Otto only watches as Bhaltair places the bundled up item on the floor before the faint but still present markings of a rune mirror Heimdrel made long ago. He unsheathes his sword cane and retraces the runes to reactivate the mirror. Argante comes into view as Bhaltair goes to one knee and bows his head.

"My Queen.... I bring you dire news...."

"speak, Jailer. Why is it you come to me alone when these matters should-"

"A thousand pardons for interrupting, my lady, but that is the news I bring."

Argante is silent as Bhaltair reaches for the bundled up item, he quietly unties the ropes and pulls off the cloth, bowing his head and presenting Heimdrel's Hook-shot for Argante to see. "Heimdrel.... has been felled by the Trollhunter and his allies."

"are you certain?"

"I was unable to come to his aid, and for that I beg your forgiveness, but yes. I saw the boy use the gifts you gave The Executioner against himself. The Sword of Daylight..." Bhaltair pauses, taking a moment to calm himself, "was forced through him, and the blessing of protection you placed over him brought forth his demise."

Argante's eyes narrow angrily.

"Rise, Bhaltair."

He obeys without hesitation, eyes locking with hers and holding on tightly to Heimdrel's hook-shot.

"This child has gone through great lengths to ruin our plans."

"agreed, my queen."

"Tell me what you intend to do to stop him"

Bhaltair doesn't even pause to think about it:

"My queen, already in Heimdrel's absence I have done much: All Changelings who can still fight, all but for Takato of whom I have not seen since the Bridge, have been gathered. I have begun calling us The Janus Order. Most stand ready to serve you, and I fully intend to sort out the weak in a few day's time. For some even sooner."

He respectfully bows his head and holds out a hand to her as he continues 'but without The Executioner my reach is severely crippled. I require aid in order to regain what had been lost from the battle."

“What would you ask of me, Bhaltair, to provide you with this advantage?"

Bhaltair looks up to her. "I would ask you to give me the power once given to my Champion brother. Give me this, and I swear to you I shall finish what he started."

Otto restrains himself from gasping. Argante's eye widen.

"You would have me take your soul, in exchange for the power Heimdrel once had?"

Bhaltair's grip tightens on the hook-shot "I would have you take every last shred of my being. And in doing so I vow I would personally tear him apart- limb by limb- as payment for what he has done to Heimdrel, and I also vow to personally deliver his head to you as a welcoming gift back to the world you so rightfully deserve."

there is a pause, by this point the hand holding onto the hook-shot is trembling from anger alone. Otto practically holds his breath as everything plays out

"tell me, Bhaltair, just how much does it anger you to know what the boy has done to our Executioner?"

Bhaltair lets out a growl, his face growing harsher the more he stands there. "far greater than any word could describe."

Argante leans in closer towards the mirror

"Tell me just how angry you are, Bhaltair, I want to see the fury in your eyes."

Bhaltair locks eyes with Argante, body trembling as he tries to maintain his composure, snarling from instinct, and tail swingling back and forth irritably. "I would reduce a million trollmarkets to rubble if it meant the honor of hunting him down, torturing him to his very last breaths, and then forcing him to watch as I did the very same to each and every one of his friends until he begged me for death."

Bhaltair leans in close to the mirror, until it almost feels as if they were face to face. "and then when he had nothing left? Nothing left to live or die for? Until he was nothing but a shell of the hero those underground fools have raised him up to be? even then I would not bring him the death he desired."

Otto places a hand on his throat, taking in a sharp breath as Argante laughs wickedly.

"you would see all this done?"

"without hesitation," Bhaltair's smile grows just as wicked as hers, "my queen."

"So see it done."

Argante snaps her fingers and instantly Bhaltair is doubling over onto the floor, arms around his waist and curling up in agony. Otto backs away to the door as Bhaltair's soul cascades out from his mouth and into a pool on the floor. It shines a bright red.

Bhaltair watches in some mixture of horror and shock as both he and Otto watch the soul shape itself into a red gemstone.

"unlike my usual bargains, the goal is more important to me than anything you could give me, Jailer. However my power to reach into that realm has waned. This is the last gift I can provide to you, unless of course you free me from this prison."

Bhaltair rises to his feet, taking the gemstone into his hands as he stands, he seems a little out of it at first but is quickly recovering.

"go now, my champion, do for me all that has been said and more. But first..."

Bhaltair looks back up to the mirror as Otto returns to his side, nervously wringing the edge of his hat that's now in his hands.

Argante's eyes narrow again with a dark and wicked glee.

"sort out the weak."

with that the last of the power fades from the mirror, and the runes fade off of the wall permanently.

Bhaltair takes a deep breath, holding the stone strongly in his hand as Otto looks up to him nervously. Bhaltair lets out an amused huff, tossing the stone in the air and catching it again, and looks down to Otto in return.

moments later back downstairs the remaining members of the Janus order have been all awaiting Bhaltair's return. Especially Petrok who spoke out against him earlier. As Bhaltair descends the steps with Otto shortly behind him, all rise to give him attention.

Bhaltair doesn't say a word to anyone until he approaches said terrified changeling.

no one says a word.

Bhaltair tsks when he gets close enough to see said changeling shaking from pure terror.

"come now Petrok, wont you look me in the eye?" as the changeling looks up Bhaltair gently places a hand on his shoulder "no no, with your true eyes"

all stand in silence as this changeling shifts back to his real form and locks eyes with Bhaltair. "I have good news for you, my boy."

Petrok seems to almost completely buy it.

"really?"

Bhaltair smiles and places his other hand on the changeling's other shoulder, letting out a quick laugh and nodding. "that I do"

Bhaltair's grip tightens on his shoulders.

"your death is gonna be quick"

in moments Bhaltair's hands become burning hot, and he grabs onto the changeling's head

there is a well placed camera shift as we see Otto and others wince in terror at the sound of melting stone. Bhaltair turns, wiping the lava off of his hands His eyes are burning red like fire and smoke is rising from his throat

"ANYONE ELSE QUESTION MY LEADERSHIP?" there is horrified silence "WELL?"

Bhaltair takes a deep breath as he shifts back to his human form and adjusts his suit while also brushing back his hair. "Good. Now, someone clean that up before he hardens into the carpet. If you'll excuse me, I have a trollhunter to kill."

#Trollhunters #Dadswap AU #IT'S FINALLY HERE #YOU GUYS HAVE NO IDEA HOW LONG IT'S TAKEN ME TO WRITE THIS ALL OUT #HOLY CRAP YOU GUYS BETTER APPRECIATE THIS

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mischiefruled · 4 years ago

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week #1 - organizing & outlining

So, just got through with my first week at uni. Only two lectures so far, both mostly full of introductions and occasional interruptions by a healthinspection team for corona. Honestly, didn’t learn anything I hadnt already in a levels, but thats ok. Introductory classes after all. I’m just hoping my one edge lasts when I’m in a class fullll of kids from families of law firms and politicians.

Right now I have a few questions I need to answer.

What do I give priority to here at the start?

How should I divide my studies up? What types of notes should I make? How should I go about this?

What resources do I need to pick and look for?

What is the purpose of this blog?

ANSWER #1

I have a lot to improve on. But to look at each thing is so overwhelming that it leaves me in a state of paralyis. So for now, Im listing them out in order of importance to me

> Get my shit in order. Collect my books, get my new laptop, and set up a good study space

> Figure out my routine. I hate routine. But without any good transport methods it becomes necessary. Two issues with this, one that my mom is difficult and doesnt give me a lot of control on my own schedule. Second is that the library has the texts, but my home has the laptop. I suppose I’ll start taking my ext hard drive but it’ll still be a tad inconvenient

> Make friends and connections. I really need to set up a study system, I like stuydying with people. I also need people to fall back on in case I miss lectures and the like. As much as I hate interacting with people who I can’t be myself around, it will be a necessity. Tangentially related, I need to figure out how I want to appear to others + buy some new clothes for God’s sake.

> Learn TOUCH TYPING. This will be essential if our exams will be given online. Even now I’m typing with jsut two fingers. god. Need to get a speed of 80wpm by the end of this year. Please.

ANSWER #2

I’ve got 5 notebooks so far: class notes, personal notes, cases and summaries, general notebook? [not so sure about this one], and I plan on buying a binder with loose paper to organize final notes. Another thing I need to consider is using OneNote, but that’ll be easier when I finally get my own laptop.

I’ll divide by subject, subjects into chapters, then each chapter as a whole into different aspects to study with.

Primary notes [study guide] + Extra material notes + core concepts and analysis.

Furthermore, summarize each chapter in my own words in an essay form. A blog post from an old LLB UoL graduate recommedned something similar.

Finally, do the activities and tasks at the end of the module.

Now, further along the road, I should start looking up past papers and examiners reports. I should regularly consult my professors too, ask them on my methods and clear up any confusion I may have in my core concepts. Perhaps I’ll find a purpose for that general notebook after all in this regard lol

ANSWER #3

I dont quite know why I asked myself that on this blog post... I’m already looking through the study guide for stuff to refer to. Must remind myself to consult professors on what material is most necessary as well.

ANSWER #4

A few things come to mind. i want this blog to motivate me, first of all.

Collect tips, advice, and resources

Weekly summaries of what I’ve done and how uni went and general areas I need to improve upon

Perhaps I should upload chapter summary essays on here too. If I type out my notes on cases as well I will post them here.

Links and stuff I find interesting

Organize my reading list and how far I am with them. Include them in my weekly updates. Perhaps my weekly updates should also contain my goals for the week

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WELL now that ive managed to spell all that out for myself, I think ill just talk about other stuff now.

the teachers seem nice. the criminal law prof does sound a bit intimidating but the lsm professor was very lax, and the contract law prof was very helpful in explanations and i had a talk with him about materials.

i met three people in class so far, janita, sofia, and zainab. i will try talking to them more, but theyre all rather shy in my opinion. i met an IR student called nawal, she was very sweet and likes makeup and fashion. we talked enthusiastically within moments of meeting one another, i cant even remember how many topics we bounced back and forth between. very easy to talk to, and she doesnt have an instagram so.. well not to be superficial , but that does my raise my opinion of her.

thats all for the personal section

┈ ┈ ┈ ⋞ 〈 ⏣ 〉 ⋟ ┈ ┈ ┈

WEEKS GOALS

get laptop

make fee payment to uol

pester SWQ for study guide. i know he has some copies squirelled away i know it..!!!

ask about student gym + again pester SWQ abt the current library system cause.. wtf!

┈ ┈ ┈ ⋞ 〈 ⏣ 〉 ⋟ ┈ ┈ ┈

READING

In order of importance

LSM UoL study guide [5/7]

Criminal Law UoLstudy guide [3/15]

Public Law UoL study guide [0/20]

Contract Law UoL study guide [0/17]

Learning Legal Rules [0/12]

I made it through 5 chapters with notes within a week. Assuming I can up the pace to about 6, I can manage to get halfway through the rest of these study guides within 3 or 4 weeks.

I only need to get halfway through, because I need to be slightly ahead of the class, not fully. Then I can focus on learning through textbooks, starting with LSM. It’s the most boring, so Id like it out of the way as soon as possible.

#weekly log #mine

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freshfromthegraveyard · 7 years ago

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Bullying.

Super random.

As a kid who was bullied less by other students and more so by teachers.

I was bullied for my brain not matching my exterior. Being an embassy brat, when I came to the US for school I often was and still act like a foreigner in my own country. But I am a blonde white girl. So this was never well received. Not grasping certain things was seen as an act, or attention seeking. If I had the nerve to correct a teacher on something about a country I lived in. I was shot down in a publicly humiliating manor to ensure I knew my place. If I looked like someone from that country I gurantee they would have actually opened up the floor for me to discuss my homeland.

When I did start gaining weight due to an emotional trigger. I did still for some reason always maintain confidence in other areas. Like I knew I was getting chubby and fatter. But was like meh, whatever I'm still smart, funny and can draw. Heck I'm still a beast in PE. Running sucks but I can still do other shit. So I wasn't always picked last. I still had friends. If my weight was mocked I kind of got it and was like yah I did get fat but I can loose it. I was always active so it was never hard to lose a lil chub. Sadly I did go way past chub into super fat town and man losing that shit was hard and daunting. Still was the same me no matter what school I went to. Still made friends.

The only people I got super offended by when they made fun of my weight was the teachers. Because again, your an Adult picking on a kid. That is a low blow a cheap shot. Remarkably my bad grades have nothing to do with being fat. I don't go home and be like oh donuts well no time for school work. I will always have a learning disability, and a massive sleep disorder. Meds do help. I hate being one of THOSE people who fall under the excuses department but it is like night and day. It is not as simple as stfu and pay attention. I even got mad at myself thinking I was dumb because of this. Like yup, those honors classes you take now are just because of the meds. Your actually an idiot. Why do you take those AND a special class, why do you still take your tests in the library or have to read in total silence? Your dumb that's why! So I went off my meds to prove a point. The point wound up being my grades dropped and everything was so much more of a struggle. The stress was awful. It was the stupidest thing I could have done to myself. But just in case other generations feel that learning disabilities are cop outs. Please know. They aren't. Infact some people get tested for adult learning disabilities and it changes their lives.

Anyway, on back to bullying.

At one school, when I was first gaining the weight. I still had friends. I was still given the frog eye because of my white girl forgienerism, thankfully at that time I was in a private school and the teachers did not bully me about it because new flash private schools get military brats. Though I always had to write papers on countries I hadn't been to. Good call actually.

But here is the kicker. Though my bullying did not really start until public schools. Again I cannot stress enough that what was done by teachers was far more damaging then anything some kid could say.

I did, possibly unlike some bullied.

I always noticed who else was bullied.

I'm an odd lil bird in that, while I could be entirely self absorbed and be all about me. I remember who and why other kids for bullied.

I bet most people will think since I got bullied for being plump I only root for body positivity of the plump sort. You couldn't be more wrong.

The ONE person who had it the worst at the private school, was a tall lanky girl. She wanted the same thing all us girls wanted. To be like the cool girls at the time. She was thin due to her incredible metabolism, and her height, she was shy, and due to being made stand out, only getting shier. She was one of the first people I remember talking on my first day of school other then Rosemary a girl who just was genuinely cute and nice. I've yet to meet a Rosemary who wasn't. I get a whisper from a fellow student not to talk to this thin girl too much. I'm like.....why? Their like, well she's just kind of strange. I'm like, I'm new, so logically I'm gonna be the resident strange kid for a while. But how is she strange exactly. She just seems quite. Their like exactly. I'm like, 11 and confused af. I'm like, wait why is being quite weird in a bad way? Before I could spit most of that out the teacher agree on my suggestion of being quite. Being a embassy brat, I had NO probably striking up new convos with perfect strangers. Ie kids at a school I just met. Before the hell that was HS. I was anything BUT shy. When you move around a lot you need to make friends fast. That and I was born not giving a shit and thinking I was the shit. Before the weight gain I assure you I was cute as hell with attitude to spare. So I was not entirely wrong.

I didn't let this why is silent bad thing go. I still talked to this mysterious thin girl. I sat with her at lunch. Prior to that I kept asking why her just being quite was bad. They said it just made them uncomfortable. I did ask the obvious of did it ever occur to you guys that you treating her weird makes her silent. Their like no she came that way. I couldn't argue because a lot of these kids did know eachother since kindergarten so ya know. They maybe right even if it is wrong. In case you have not guessed. Being raised an only kid, overseas you have bennies of being treated like an adult and being more logical then a kid the same age. Hence why I sound more adult in this story cuz I always was even if I still enjoyed childish endeavors *Like I still do*

Here is the heart breaker. The thin girl at lunch enjoyed my company. I made her laugh a lot that day and got her talking *novel concept when you reach out to someone* at the end of lunch though. She said, this was nice but ya know you shouldn't really hang around me the other kids will black ball you. I'm like yeah, I don't care. She's like no, you should. I appreciate it, but another group has tried and the other kids make life hard on them. I'm like well I extra don't care. I said your kind of in luck. I don't stay at schools very long so by the time they do that to me I will probably be moving. Plus being the new kid I will be resident weirdo for a while. I can play dumb for a long time and befriend the black balled.

I told her which, I don't get why. I said, being shy is the last reason someone should be pushed aside. Granted it took me a few times to get you to talk BUT I gotcha damnit *swearing in Catholic school woot* *at a whisper less woot*

So I made friends, with the very group she spoke of who had made efforts to friend her. I also was friends with other groups. Including 2 class clowns, 2 twin black girls who too me for forever to realize they were twins. I had one jerk kid who ironically was a pretty chubby dude to be so judgy about me being a chubby chick. But I still was friends with thin girl be damned. Needed a book shared in class and no one would share with her. ME! And don't be fooled our one class clown never had a homework buddy because surprise ppl thought he couldn't be serious. ME! I think the funniest thing that happened at that school was rainy day recess where class was divided up for games. Started up with normal dictionary teams. Then Okay Megan is really good at this, let's pair her with the one person who isn't. Okay still really good at this both drawing and guessing. Let's make the team's be class vs Megan. It's only fair. Sorry it still amuses me. My one glory day.

Back to bullying.

Though at the private school, bullying was far minimal. and kids really had to be imaginative. Since we all wore uniforms. Kids had to be like, well they make us laugh, but he's probably not serious about his hw. Woo. Wow. Lame. She's too quite. So lame. She's too smart. All of these are so damn lame. And let's face it none are bad qualities. Sorry the kid finds hw boring and is a quick whit. You actually have to be smart to be fast in humor. She's quite. So she's reserved and actually nice if you reach out. Your only too smart if you can't use your book sense.

Now, public school. Girl was made fun of for being too thin, having the nerve to go through puberty *ie acne* and also was very shy, if not stand offish, not dressing nice enough. If anything, id say she tried to look her worst regardless of what students said. I could go on about warning signs this child had. My mom caught them instantly. Did the school? NO

Turns out she was being molested by her stepdad. Like, srsly. My mom met her once and got it. Oy. So sad. I have a lot of guilt for not being able to communicate better with her though.

Anyway, another girl, got made fun of for having big boobs which she hated especially during PE. I don't blame her.

Yet another girl made fun of for being too thin. She was petite and had all brothers. So she was small and mean.

Another girl was shaped more like a guy and strong. She excelled in some PE sports but still made fun of.

Guys, same deal. If they had curly hair that's a pain to style. Chubby but not good at sports. And idky other kids care if you are good at grades or not? Like, we all have the same hw if you can spell congrats. Some ppl have dyslexia so ya know kindly fuck off.

Why does a grade make you popular or not?

It's odd to me. It's like, you need to get good grades but not TOO GOOD cuz then your too smart and it's also weird. Public school bullying. Lawd have mercy. Talk about a new level of awful.

Again, I was attacked publically by teachers. Who decided I was infact fat and stupid and somehow cheating at art?

I had art taken away from me as it was a distraction. Since I was bad at reading out loud all of my work was to be delivered in this fashion. I corrected a teacher on some foreign affairs, as he got locations, pronunciation, law, and well just a fucking lot wrong about a country I lived in for so long. I held myself back on so much but it was like he was getting everything confused with an entirely different country. For one thing he was still mentioning a city by it's old name. Like omg update

your book man!!! When I finally sad something he blew a stack and made sure everyone in the class was aware of how fat and ignorant I was.

When I told my parents. Boy did they come undone. At the parent teacher conference this same teacher said "if Megan would put down the donuts and study this wouldn't be an issue" yah my dad pinned him to a wall by his neck. Mind you this was after he had already

Made repeated digs at me, my family, and pretty much anything we could stand for. My parents also made the argument that if a student was a concert pianist or a ballet dancer. Would they take away their craft? No. So why take away my art? Both piano and ballet are considered art. Needless to say this battle of the teachers vs parents and all the horrible things they said and did was not over. Two shrinks were involved, and the state was called in. Their shrink and our shrink. The shrinks wound up agreeing and asked the state to come in for a learning disability test. Hence me first getting diagnosed. The shrinks also needed the teachers to understand something. They brought my mom in, since the one teacher now feared my father *not that my mom couldn't take him* the teachers sat down, the shrinks showed them pics of me thin and active and the dates. They show me chubby then thin again due to being an active kid. They then ask when my recent weight gain started. My mom didn't even hesitate she just took off her wig from cancer to reveal her bald head and said about when this happened. She said she was studying to finalize some culinary school work at a local college. She said she knows her daughter felt food was an emotional way to be close to her. My shrink said. Sometimes fat is better then too thin. You can lose fat. You can't undo the damages of too thin if bulimia sets in.

So you'd think the teachers would back off. Ha. No. That one male teacher persisted that everyone has problems and I needed to suck it up. I was now all of 12. He loved making fun of me. I also noticed, though I was his favorite to pick on. I was not alone. He hated anyone who could not read out loud flawlessly. He hated anyone who was not athletic and bragged about his triathlons to this day I get an eye tick around the word. Friend of mine was a solid A student. Read flawlessly outloud. But guess what she had some small kid pudge on her. The second her history teacher went into his class. There goes her straight As. She got a B- in his class. Never on tests with multiple choice, just written work and general performance. Ya know subjective stuff. Not shady at all. Mom got wind and had enough. She sat in his class one day. In my friends class no less. Not mine on purpose. She sat their and made fun of him the way he did us. She's like hey kids, I know this guy makes fun of all the students. Let's make fun of him the same way. Isn't he kind of short? Like really short. I met his wife, he must use a step ladder to kiss her. He's also bald. Notice how he only keeps pictures of himself in tight triathlon clothes or old pics with long hair. Think he's compensating for something?? Who keeps pics of themselves on their desk!?! My husband has his family. Self centered much?

And what's with those triathlons anyway?

We notice you hate fatties. Were you a fatty? Do you run from calories? Did a fatty break your heart? What is it? Why do you hate them So? She's like, actually, it doesn't matter. Whatever your problem is it should not be taken out on children. My mom continued. She's like, ya know why he picks on you kids. One your the only people smaller then him. Two he is to cowardly to stand up to other adults. My husband pinned him against a wall and his eyes nearly popped out of his head from terror. Yeah. All talk this little fart. He obviously was livid talking over her saying she can't do this, he's calling the cops for trespassing.

Apparently when she opened the room up to the kids to pick at him they had a bunch of weird shit they noticed he does. One kid said he's just jealous because everyone likes his wife as a teacher better. That's why he made her stay home with the kids or keep having a kid. She's like everyone liked her? Whole room was like best teacher award every year!

Lol this dude didn't speak for days he was just fuming. It got better when, guess what my mom met his wife and put on her best cute, sweet innocent lady routine. I remember walking to our truck, douche teacher behind me. *cuz of course I had to stay after in his class for some kind of punishment*

His wife was all smiles at my mom, looked over at him with such a look. My mom had an evil smile looking at him like. Checkmate mother fucker. I sat in the truck, waiting for her. Dressed daper. Smiling. She sets behind the wheel, we drive off. She's like well we tried the proper channels first. He made me play dirty but I assure you the war is over.

So, turns out, his wife was a loved teacher BECAUSE she had a lot of patience for her students and taught both standard and kids with learning disabilities. So to say she was understanding is an understatement. I mean, my mom didn't know this when speaking to her. It was actually a whim, when she saw her while waiting to pick me up and just got to talking.

Anyway, the point of this INSANELY long post.

Is as a kid that was not so much bullied by peers as much as by teachers. I also was not always bullied about my weight as much as just being considered an attention seeking liar THEN my intelligence and weight was thrown in for extra damage.

It is true, the book by its cover. I am still a foreigner in a American white girl body. I still have some wires crossed. I still don't know all customs or referrences. My spelling is bad. My accent isnt. Family was 2 people. My perspective is Global. Africa, Asia, an American Farm is my background.

Bullying, just cuz I got fat. Doesn't mean I didn't see the people who got made fun of for being too thin. Before I stopped struggling in school. I noticed kids got bullied for their grades. As if the school and parents are not going to add enough pressure. If you have a talent that is not a sport or a musical instrument. You are not of value. Which is funny in a society that worships actors and models. All of whom rarely look a thin like they look like now in school.

There have been a lot of school shootings over the years. I remember when Columbine happened.

Remember early on in my status of the thin girl? Regardless of people telling me again and again that I would be some social pyria for being nice to her. I still did it. Over and over. I did more to make myself look stupid then she ever could have. Nothing ever happened to me because of her. Even if it had. I wouldn't have cared. Because I had a friend in her. We would at least be weirdos together was my logic.

If you make the effort. More then once. Because some shells are really hard to crack. Because some people have been hurt a lot. At least you tried. In COLLEGE none the less. My roommate and I met quite possibly the most socially awkward creature alive. We tried repeatedly to make friends or at least make peace with this creature. To no damn ivale. Senior yr this person asked me why no one likes them. I told them that wasn't fair because we all have made efforts to involve them in groups, shinnangans, hang out, we even through JUST them a birthday party. We have all made the effort. It's a two way street. I said basically you want friends like robots. You want us to turn on when you want us and power down in an instant when you are done with us and offer nothing in return. You also cannot be rude to ppl and expect forgiveness when there is really no foundation or trust built. We can say honest things because we know that friend is a friend and is sincere and cares for our best interest. You tend to think blurting out something offensive saying no offensive it's just my opinion and smiling is some how okay. It's just awkward.

So in that particular occassion. 4 years. My friend and I, as well as others. Genuinely tried to make friends or something with this person. Some people just want or view friendship differently. They may find a perfect fit later who is not you. But DAMNIT you tried. With bullying I just want people to reach out.

And if you see someone IN THE PROCESS of being bullied. Get off your ass and intervene.

Believe it or not, confusion is a great tactic.

Say 3 ppl are picking on a kid at lunch in your school. You could approach and interupt. You do not have to get personal. If they pick on you next. Point that out. Like what tools they are that that is all they can do. Bring friends over to help break it up. Honestly when I say confusion is a great weapon I mean it. Make up gibberish and start talking like that. Speak another language the bullies won't know. Anything that will just frustrate them and make them leave. Essentially your goal is to not engage with them, be as annoying as possible and make them leave. Another strategy is to be as agreeable as possible, so sickeningly friendly that they also lose their momentum. Gauge your situation, the energy and see which would work best. They sound absurd but diffusing a situation is far better.

The key is, don't sit by and let someone suffer.

Don't join in. Also guess what. As juicey and fun as gossip seems especially in school. Guess what, it's usually lies and incredibly harmful. If you partake you are an accessory to bullying. Shocking I know.

Learning how stop gossip in it's tracks when you are young is a great life lesson.

Sadly you will run into gossip at all stages of life. So stopping it, ...as best you can. When your young. Can safe a life!

The thing about gossip. If people don't have good dirt on someone, they will make shit up. Movies like Mean Girls and Easy A point this out. I've heard gossip about myself or friends and some is almost laughable how ridiculous it is. But going up to someone and being like hey is it true this that or the other. Or treating them different all of a sudden. As if we also don't hear the whispers.

Gossip is just a form of bullying. So think about it as being an accessory to a crime. It is equally as serious. Like a crime, you have the power to stop it.

So many people talk of the mass shootings, what about the kids who are as young as 8 taking their own lives due to bullying.

I really cannot stress enough, to please, if you see someone being bullied. Help that victim in the moment. Step in, bring back up. Be confusing. Be nice. Be whatever it takes to save a life or lives.

Also it is clear the bullying is caused from something. Usually bullies are being bullied themselves or have some sort of problem.

I remember reading one story of a bully who came unhinged over the smallest thing. Would lie in wait and actually burned another child with scalding hot water. Now that story was a case for mental illness. Which brings me to a situation. If a person is a bully and being bullied by someone else. Like another sibling, a parent, or so forth. That is rough because really not everyone can afford counseling which is what that would require. Next if someone is displaying violence due to a mental illness that too would require counseling, psychiatric and possibly medication down the road. All expensive.

It's not fair that mental healthcare of any kind is a luxury. When no one chooses to have mental health issues. Most insurance companies only allow so many visits. Not nearly enough to scratch the surface of a garden much less the human mind. Plus if medication was involved, that is such an arguous process. Any mental health medication is a huge battle of trial and error and all medications take a while to get into your system. For one to be properly judged for mental health, has to be in your system long enough for you to have had your moods elevated. Essentially were you challenged at all in 6 months time? Did you have a reason to get angry, or be depressed. Anything to trigger mood swings to see how the medication altered your brains reaction.

I mean damn. That is a lot to wait for, and rarely does the first shoe fit.

After working in a local ER. I realized how sad, and how many holes are in our health care system. How long people have to wait to see anyone. How long for a room to become available. How short your treatment is.

At the same turn. When you come across none feeling bullies. The type they tell young kids to kill themselves. That hound them every day and night. Stalk them on any outlet they can find. Because they have nothing better to do then bring one person misery. When do they become accountable?

I do believe some bullies need help to stop the cycle. I also believe some have shown signs that they live a charmed life, are not bullied themselves and show no signs of a mental illness. They have admitted to just being board. *maybe the mental illness is in the path family ;>_>*

Anyway, for those few bullies that qualify. I just wonder if they should be held accountable for say a wrongful death. If the person they taunted or catfished killed themselves.

I often think that because bullying has no consequences that that is why it continues.

That if it had something truly scary to face. Maybe then kids would cut the shit.

We all know, those who have been bullied. That if you talk to an authority figure. Absolutely NOTHING happens. You still get bullied.

ladies. Hahaha isn't that rich?

And what of those rare occasions where those teachers where beaten by students on a gang like scene? What then?

Or in reverse in my situation? Where I was bullied for the majority of my life BY the faculty. Who do I turn to in a school and say, your staff is picking on me?

My last job had a bullying situation.

It was unbelievable to watch unfold. It wasn't even in my department per say. In the employee handbook it said they took bullying seriously. They had a senior staff member who was a out of control bully. She had great work history, but I guess her head got too big. She bullied everyone something awful and they lost countless people due to it. Here's the thing, while she did EVENTUALLY get fired for bullying. It took a while. A lot of new employees where very honest about why they were leaving. Many current employees made it known that all the reasons things never progressed or moral was low was bullying. Apparently this was brought up in staff meetings but went no where. It finally came to a head when they got a new boss on the floor, and a long time employee moved from one department down to that one. I guess her statement was more believable then that of new employees saying I'm leaving because I was bullying.

The thing that bothers me is. A why would a new employee lie? A new employee wants to fit in. They want to do there best. They have to learn the motion of the ocean real quick. They wanted that job. I doubt they wanted to leave that job so quickly. For one it never looks good on a resume. Do you know how defeating it is to be bullied that bad into leaving?

That is why I find it sad they did not listen to the previous statements. I understand that for a bullying case to stick. I guess they needed plenty of evidence. I know they certainly had it.

But in the case of schools. A friend of mine teachers whee toddlers. From babies to 3yr olds. And she has told me how early they start bullying.

Back to my statement on whether it's mental illness, they are being bullied elsewhere or if nothing at all is wrong. Are factors. Because listening to her. She has seen all three that young already and it's like wow if you can catch it that early. Again we could save lives on both sides of the situation.

Sorry random memory lane. Coupled with some random thoughts about current events.

#bullying #mass shooting #stop bullying #suicide #help #overseas #mental health #children #teens #young adults #gossip #don't be assholes #morel of the story

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all 92 😘

1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?no way man she’d probably dom the fuck out of me

2. You talked to an ex today, correct?nope.

3. Have you taken someones virginity?n o p e

4. Is trust a big issue for you?YEAH

5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently?like in terms of romantic??? no. like in terms of “we have a really weird relationship and idfk how i feel @ you”? yeah.

6. What are you excited for?april 19th!!! my friend and i are going to go see phoebe bridgers in madison!!!!

7. What happened tonight?its 10am so ill roll with last night: i played nv and got killed in a beautiful cacophony of deathclaws and the legion :) and then my game crashed.

8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted?no bc id be right there with them

9. Is confidence cute?very

10. What is the last beverage you had?i think some water? okay not the last but: hot water is so good with wildflower honey pls just drink some its good for your soul okay???

11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?opposite is bullshit but i guess like,, 3? half my friends are nonbinary so counting EVERYONE regardless of gender and shit id say 6 people

12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans?im a proud supporter of boys in skinny jeans and i own 2 or 3 pairs

13. What are you gonna do Saturday night?my main ho @thebonerfoy is coming up to visit me and were probably gonna pack all my shit in her car and play cards against humanity

14. What are you going to spend money on next? lmao probably my student loans. unless i can get the hours i asked for at work or a sugar daddy, then im gonna buy a proper lid for my fishtank bc my poor kid has a piece of cardboard rn.

15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed?no

16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months?yeah. even in a state of stagnation were changing somehow.

17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?probably amanda, but im working on trying to be better with everyone

18. The last time you felt broken?my dude, im broken right now. its okay though. like i said, im working on it. were all fckn broken somehow.

19. Have you had sex today?not unless a ghost and i got in on in my sleep. which would be pretty cool ngl

20. Are you starting to realize anything?on a deep level: i deserve respect and a lot of my issues relate directly to my upbringing, including my inability to receive praise or speak well of myselfon a not-deep level: kinda hungry.

21. Are you in a good mood?i think i just heard fedex or ups outside so my mood just skyrocketed

22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks?maybe like. nurse sharks. theyre really cute.

23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s?yeah

24. What do you want right this second?to take a day to go into the city with all my friends that i cant see on a regular basis

25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?probably be upset unless we discussed it beforehand. then id be fckn cheering for them like you go get some!!!! do it man!!!! in general tho: if i wasnt with them and they didnt show interest in me and showed interest in someone else id just move tf on.

26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color?half of it is bc my roots are growing out

27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?no. too boring.

28. What was the last thing that made you laugh?okay so i went to renew my library books and one of my favorite youtubers is on the library website dressed as one of his characters and i completely flipped because i watch his gaming channel and now hes interviewing authors for my library??? he doesnt even live in my town!! hes in madison!!

29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now?no? im enjoying my solitude atm

30. Does everyone deserve a second chance?depends on the person

31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to?no! hes my friend and gives really good advice!

32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do?i think so. i mean, were kind of a thing.

33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda?yeah.

34. Listening to?killer - phoebe bridgers

35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore?only if im doing a rough journal spread, which i dont normally do

36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is?hes probably in class right now.

37. Do you believe in love at first sight?love at first sight? no. some sort of mutual infatuation/attraction? yes.

38. Who did you last call?my mom

39. Who was the last person you danced with?dancing with as in both dancing at the same time? probably amanda or my mom.

40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed?we were dating and he was cute lmao

41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake? a couple months ago?

42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today?no bc she leaves for work before i wake up

43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?constantly.

44. Do you tan in the nude?lmao no.

45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss?no. as previously stated, i liked the guy and he was cute. why would i take that back?

46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night?yeah

47. Who was the last person to call you?my mom

48. Do you sing in the shower?sometimes

49. Do you dance in the car?yEAH

50. Ever used a bow and arrow?yes i love my bow :’) its so good and wow i love archery

51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?picture day junior year of highschool, and if that doesnt count: my mother took me in at jcp to have pictures taken when i graduated 8th grade and theyre awful bc my hair is so long and its so not me

52. Do you think musicals are cheesy?excuse me, how dare you,, in this house we ask for war and peace for christmas because npgc1812 is so good and then get addicted to ghost quartet (@ anyone reading this: pls listen to ghost quartet it is so so so good)

53. Is Christmas stressful?depends on the year, but i hope in the future i can spend it with my friends :)

54. Ever eat a pierogi?i just had some last night for dinner and im probably going to eat the leftovers in a couple minutes. also, my mother is polish and we see her family for holidays, so yeah. lots of pierogi in this house.

update: i got the leftovers

55. Favorite type of fruit pie?idk??? apple? im basic okay i dont eat pie

56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?1. teacher2. ballerina3. both 1 & 2, simultaneously4. paleontologist5. archaeologist6. both 4 & 5, simultaneously7. librarian8. game designer9. author/illustrator

57. Do you believe in ghosts?yeah

58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?almost daily

59. Take a vitamin daily?im supposed to ;) vitamin d deficiency like a real champ

60. Wear slippers?real talk i never liked slippers but then i bought these cute pig slippers @ walmart for $10 and i love them so much i tried wearing them to sleep last night. also im wearing them rn theyre so cute

61. Wear a bath robe?i live in a dorm, so yeah. to the bathroom and back when i take a shower. sometimes im lazy and i just run around in a towel but so do half the people on my side of the hall lmao were all lazy and dead inside

62. What do you wear to bed?fluffy pajama pants or sweats, tshirt or hoodie, socks, sometimes slippers.. once i fell asleep with a beanie on. when im being an Adult i wear my actual pajamas!!! like a legit shirt and pants that match

63. First concert?none that i was old enough to remember :’) apparently my mom took me to the rodeo when we lived in texas and saw some country group but i was like 2 so idfk

64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?TARGET I AM A CERTIFIED TARGET GAY

65. Nike or Adidas?adidas bc my feet are too wide to fit in nikes

66. Cheetos Or Fritos?yall real talk i used to love cheetos but i think im allergic to them now? last time i had them my throat got all swollen and hurt for like 3 days so im gonna have to say fritos. plus theyre really good if you put them in chili

67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?sunflower seeds bc im a slut for anything i can have a spitting contest with

68. Favorite Taylor Swift song?lmao i used to like her when i was like. 11. not my scene anymore

69. Ever take dance lessons?i dont think so?

70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?anything that makes them happy, but also something fun!!!! like wedding photographer or a baker or maybe zookeeper?

71. Can you curl your tongue?idk??? kinda????? i can tie a cherry stem so i want to say yes.

72. Ever won a spelling bee?no i always got out bc my anxiety made me stutter/rush and miss letters, so i never even got past the classroom levels to the real thing

73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy?a lot!!! i laugh so hard i cry and get a stomach ache more than id like to admit

74. What is your favorite book?eleanor & park by rainbow rowell :) OR alice’s adventures in wonderland by lewis caroll

75. Do you study better with or without music?depends on if i can get into hyperfocus mode or not. if not, then i pick one song and put it on loop and blast it until it fades and is just loud background noise, but if i can focus then silence is best

76. Regularly burn incense?i used to but no burning anything in the dorms :( then i came home for break and it started giving me a headache

77. Ever been in love?i think so

78. Who would you like to see in concert?kesha, against me!, my chemical romance (rip), bigbang (also rip)

79. What was the last concert you saw?the one i mentioned earlier @ a rodeo

80. Hot tea or cold tea?hot tea

81. Tea or coffee?i live on coffee but i love tea too so both

82. Favorite type of cookie?mmm snickerdoodle. or just sugar cookies. chocolate chip is good when theyre hot and melty but not as good when theyre cold

83. Can you swim well?yeah! i love swimming!

84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?yeah?

85. Are you patient?hahahahahahhahahahhahahhaa

86. DJ or band, at a wedding?oo. oooooo. okay so dj would have more variety of music but im a sucker for live music??? idk i feel like a band would be more memorable, but what if they fuck up your favorite song??? but what if they make it more special???????

87. Ever won a contest?yeah! i won an art contest once and got my drawing printed on christmas cards for a nonprofit that did things for cancer patients!

88. Ever have plastic surgery?im 17 i dont have that kind of money

89. Which are better black or green olives?depends on what theyre in?

90. Opinions on sex before marriage?good. live your life fuck the rules

91. Best room for a fireplace?bedroom!!! i love fireplaces in bedrooms its such a Look

92. Do you want to get married?idk. if it happens then it happens. im not planning on it though.

#tia-freyre #asks

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