#id def anon a lot if i ever were to start postin
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#one day i wanna post on ao3.... idk how brave i am to like post under my username but#id def anon a lot if i ever were to start postin#im really scared of hate aha#especially for the. things i wanna tap into#i wldn prolly write blatantly Disgustin things like the stuff ppl consider profic or wtv but my brain is unable to generate normal ideas#dats nawt to say im opposed to those things in fiction hehe. i welcome em with open arms But i still have my preferences n limits#a lot of things id ljke to explore in terms of Mika dat i don see ppl bring enuff attention...#PROJECTION BEAM but orphanage stuff. literally no one ever talks abt this i wish there were more works goin in depth on my past#even if im dead set on it bein in accordance with My Own memories as an introjectie#i jus wud love to see ppls visions#but also like okay Somethin happened okay? somethin bad happened.#obviously a lil guy can hate it & b rebellious n run away on several occasions Without smth groundbreakingly bad happenin but in my case#it did!#in hindsight i still believe those memories t shelterin our own trauma under thr guise of source but who knows when ill uncover dat#so yeha for now i live with transmika orphanage trauma HE DID NAWT hvae a good time. despite findin a lot of comfort in his At The Time sibs#especially bein the oldest out of the girls -> feelin sum sense of responsibility n havin to 'grow up' faster akin to an oldest sibling role#while still bein. a kiddo & extremely vulnerable esp in the face of the caregivers#anyway trauma trauma abuse abuse#sorry i can only ever see mika thru the lens of our/my experiences. i wldn wabt it any other way tho
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