#id be the biggest hypocrite in the world if i said that. but also just because it gets dark sometimes or you as an adult enjoy it

[sonknuxadow]

the scenes of characters flossing in the sonic movies are actually there to humble weird adult sonic fans who constantly forget who the actual target audience is

[weirdestbooks]

Wrong Reflection Chapter 4

Help and Trauma (Wattpad | Ao3)

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Alfred was ready to pull his hair out. He had tried everything he could think of but couldn’t find anything to help him get his counterpart back home. America said he didn’t blame Alfred and knew that Alfred was trying his best to get America home.

The kindness was appreciated, but it just made Alfred feel like shit. America should be mad or upset that Alfred can’t find America a way home, but he was just understanding. Alfred felt guilty that he couldn’t find anything to help America return home.

America has kids, some of whom probably depended on him, yet he was incredibly nonchalant about Alfred’s failure to find him a way home.

When Alfred had confessed this fear to America, however, the nation had laughed, informing Alfred that the oldest of his states was physically thirty and that they could all take care of themselves.

Alfred had never felt more shocked than at that moment. It was one thing seeing his counterpart was in his thirties, but it was another hearing that the states, the children of his counterpart, were also physically older than him. 

Alfred felt self-conscious after that conversation.

He couldn’t even drink in his country without a fake ID, and…and Alfred’s counterpart was so cool and mysterious, and Alfred didn’t want to disappoint him. No matter how…unannoyed and disappointed America seemed, Alfred still felt like he was disappointing him somehow. It sucked a lot.

So Alfred, in all his insomniac glory, was up at one am reading emails from NASA officials, trying to track down if anyone noticed whatever portal must have brought America here. Alfred was wiping sleep from his eyes when a hand landed on his shoulder, causing him to let out a curse as he jolted in surprise and fear. Hand over his heart, Alfred turned around to face America, who had the largest smile Alfred had ever seen on him.

“You fucking asshole! You scared the shit outta me. You can’t do that to a person at one am. What’s wrong with you?” Alfred exclaimed. America’s smile turned sheepish.

“Sorry, Alfred,” He said, his accent, which was prone to change, now sounding like a Texan one, “I didn’t mean to scare you. I just wanted to talk.”

Alfred felt a pit grow in his stomach. That was a sequence of words he didn’t want to hear.

“You’re not in trouble! I didn’t mean it that way.” America added when he noticed Alfred’s confusion, “You made the same face my kids do when they hear that.” 

“Then what’s up?” Alfred asked, trying to act nonchalant.

“Now, I know this doesn’t mean much coming from me, the world’s biggest hypocrite, but you need to sleep, or at least try to. Don’t run yourself ragged trying to help. Taking a break will help.” America said.

“Don’t you want to go home? You act so chill about the lack of progress. I’d think you don't want to go back!” Alfred snapped before clasping a hand over his mouth as he realized what he had said. He knew how badly America wanted to get home and heard the stories America told after he had worn him down enough.

Fidgeting with his fingers, Alfred waited for America to get mad and yell, as Alfred would have in his position. Instead, America just sighed.

“Of course, I want to get home,” America said, his voice not mad…just sad, his hand clutching his chest over his heart, “I miss many things. My kids, my–my friends and…I want to get home, but I don’t want you hurting yourself in the process. You…”

America trailed off, muttering something in a language Alfred didn’t understand.

“I what?” Alfred asked.

“You’ve checked this already, I'm pretty sure. Get some sleep, and maybe a solution will come to you, but running yourself ragged for two weeks isn't going to help.” America said. Alfred sighed but relented, closing his laptop.

“You aren’t going to stop bothering me about this until I go to sleep, aren't you?” He asks. America shakes his head, and Alfred throws a hand into the air. “Fine! I’ll go to sleep! I can’t believe I’ve been betrayed by myself and science.”

Alfred then still, a thought coming to him, causing him to groan as he realized there might be a solution to their problem, although it wasn’t one he wanted to pursue. America shot him a concerned look, and Alfred waved him off.

“I have a terrible idea! Because I’ve realized something.”

“This won’t get you out of me trying to get you to sleep, but go on,” America said, nodding at Alfred.

“You said that you never saw what brought you here, right? Like you blinked, and suddenly you were here?” Alfred asked. America nodded. “Well, no one I’ve talked to has found any evidence of you being brought here, and you don’t have any evidence of what brought you here, so maybe it wasn’t science, maybe whatever enough you here was magic.”

“Magic?” America repeated, raising an eyebrow, his voice skeptical.

“Yeah, I don’t like it either, but it might be worth a shot,” Alfred said. America’s face changed, a disbelieving joy overtaking it.

“Wait, magic is real here? Like magic, magic? You can do magic?” He asked.

“No, I can’t do magic, but some other countries can if you want to try that?” Alfred asked. After a brief pause, America nodded. 

“Alright, let’s try this magic thing.”  There was a sort of amused joy in his voice as he said magic, “Who’s the magic guy we’re consulting?”

“Well, a lot of countries can do it, but I was gonna call England.” The smile slid off America’s face, and he seemed to pale slightly.

“England?” He asked, the joy in his voice gone. He didn’t sound scared, but maybe just a bit nervous, although looking at his face, Alfred could see some fear.

“Yeah, England. Are you okay?” Alfred asked. America nodded as he changed out of his human form, the still strange flag features reappearing as his back straightened. The almost nervous body language vanished and replaced something much more emotionless.

“Are you and England close?” America asked, voice blank and empty.

“I guess, are you okay?” Alfred asked as America’s behavior was off-putting, almost scary.

“Do you trust him?” America asked.

“America, are you okay?” Alfred asked, putting a hand on America’s shoulder.

“I…” The strange blankness that overtook him faded before America asked more harshly, “Do you trust him?”

“Yeah, I trust Iggy.” Alfred said, “America, are you okay?”

Alfred had never seen his counterpart react like this to anything. It was scary.

“I’m…fine,” America said, something Alfred knew was a lie.

“You sure?”

“Yes,” America said, his voice making it clear he didn’t want to continue this line of questioning. 

“Why are you so concerned about me trusting Iggy?” Alfred asked, hoping that America would be willing to answer that question.

“You are referring to England when you say Iggy, right?” America asked.

“Yeah, he hates that I call him that, which is why it’s his nickname,” Alfred explained with a smile. America cracked a smile at that, but it faded quickly, causing Alfred’s smile to fade as well.

“I don’t trust any version of England with my safety. I…it’s a long story, but we don’t have a great history.” America explained. Alfred could tell there was something else he wasn’t saying, some other reason than a vague answer of bad history, but he didn’t want to pry.

“I don’t know anything about your history with your England, but I promise you can trust mine. He’s gotten…he’s not the same person he used to be, and he feels remorse for stuff like Washington.” Alfred said, throwing in that Arthur had apologized for Washington here, figuring if anything was causing America not to trust his England, it was that. America scoffed, something dark overtaking his expression.

“He does!” Alfred insisted, feeling some need to defend Arthur from something who seemed to distrust him based solely on the actions of Arthur’s counterpart.

“People–especially countrypeople–say a lot of shit. Don’t always mean they mean it. I’m not trying to be an ass, but…trusting people who have burned you in the past only makes you liable to get hurt. I tried–” America cut himself off, hands clenching into fists, “All countries lie.”

“Something awful happened between you and your England, didn’t it?” Alfred blurted.

“I won’t talk about my life. That’s…the past is past. If you think your England is an honest countryperson, I will…accept your judgment on that. I can’t promise…I’ll try Alfred, this magic with England shit, but if it doesn't work out, we stop. Immediately. No questions asked.” America proposed. Alfred nodded.

“Whatever you’re comfortable with.” 

“Now go to bed,” America added, smiling like he hadn’t shown a scary kind of vulnerability just a few moments before. Alfred returned the smile.

“Alright, Dad,” Alfred said as he left for his room, ignoring the middle finger America shot him in response. 

He would call England in the morning.

[raxistaicho]

Are we not Engaged? Part 14.

Red vs Blue!

Spoilers under the cut.

Red Alear has a lot of ballista.

The avalanch mechanic was REALLY poorly explained, I thought I had to hide BEHIND the rock outcroppings, not IN FRONT OF THEM.

Red Alear still needs a hug.

Lol the animals you can adpt are no different from normal ones even though this is 1000 years ago.

Oh god Sombron is horrific.

Zephia hears Sombron treats his children like tools and decides she wants one of those. She’s like Eunie but a monster.

Lumera just wandering around enemy territory lol

Lumera was so nice TnT

Veyle worried

The guardian worries Veyle

Sombron’s castle is kinda cool

Veyle’s really uncomfortable

Oh lord it’s Lumera, Sombron is a bastard.

They’re repeating Mikoto, lol...

Lol stupid Veyle snuck in alone.

is Lumera threatening Veyle or challenging her to a dance competition?

This is supposed to be terrible but we barely know Lumera

The fuck Lumera knows was the ring would do?

Nice of Lumera’s body fading away to just pause at her waist for about a minute so she can have a second too-long death scene lol.

Oh no the party’s throwing death flags for the Emblems XD

The Emblems are gonna go away, lol. They’re tools, not characters, this’d be like being sad about the Wing Spear dying at the end of Shadow Dragon.

“The Last Engage” jesus christ.

Oh yeah you might notice I’ve stopped reporting on supports. I’ll get back to those :p

I have to enter the final battle from the Somniel directly, lol, what.

Marth’s being ominous again.

We’re actually riding the Somniel through the portal Sombron opened.

Something’s bugging Marth.

The portal’s ripping the Emblems apart. Oof. And once the portals closes it’ll send out a shockwave that’ll destroy the portals.

If you wanted me to care about the Emblems disappearing you should have actually had them be characters.

There’s like no cinema for entering the portal, you’re just THERE.

Oh, Sombron’s actually willing to let bygones be, lol, that’s kinda remarkable.

Sombron’s after Lelouch!!!

Ah, so Sombron’s from another world. Right, Lumera said nobody knows where he came from.

Why are they bothering to try reasoning with Sombron, he’s clearly deranged.

Lol, Marth confirms that Emblems are different from the people they’re based on.

He’s babbling about revenge but on who? The Zero Emblem?

Also shut up, Marth.

Oh he’s fucking with the Emblems. Oh shoot, Emblems are dead, that sucks :p

Power of friendship moment lol.

Oh no, this scene is just the characters condensing their character gimmicks into one scene XD

“Let us engage!” Roll credits!

This scene of all the Emblems coming back is really gratuitous.

I just noticed Sombron’s... things that those purple crystals are dangling from attaches to his hair. What.

This final boss theme sure don’t hold one drop of a candle’s wax to Id Purpose, End of All, Twilight of the Gods, or Apex of the World.

Sombron, both now and in the flashback, scolds Alear for turning on her father despite rejecting the concept of bonds, so what on earth is he griping at her for? Severing a bond that was never there?

Yeah I was expecting the dragon form, that first phase was way too easy.

ROFLMAO, DARK EMBLEMS.

So wait he rejects the idea of bonds, but he makes his own Emblems? God this guy’s a hypocrite.

Gah that final boss took forever! T_T

Oh please, cut it out with the pity party for the cretin who traumatized his kids.

Jesus why's this game so eager to make abuse victims try to be sympathetic to their abusers.

And bam, back to the Somniel. This game really rushes transitions.

This game’s still trying to make me think Marth was the biggest best partner, lol.

Oh lord, each of the Emblems is going to give some canned dialogue that references their character from their respective games, lol.

Lol, of course fucking Marth gets a special longer scene.

It’s trying to ape Azura’s death scene from Birthright but as usual it misses the landing because it drags it out too long.

Clanne and Framme never developed as people lol.

Holy shit, Alfred fucking died after the war! Long live Queen Celine, rofmao.

The hell, the Emblems are back?

You've gotta be kidding me THIS GAME DOESN'T HAVE A SUPPORT VIEWER ON THE MAIN MENU?

Whooo...

Anyways, game’s done. I’ll be back later with final thoughts.

[365days365movies]

February 19, 2021: The Phantom of the Opera (2004) (Part 1)

I love musicals.

Hands down, when talking cinematic adaptations of musicals, my favorite is Little Shop of Horrors. I’ve seen it MANY times, and will see it many, MANY more. And I’m not the only one. I mean, obviously, but in this case, I’m referring to my girlfriend. She’s chosen to represent herself with a GIF from her favorite musical, Hairspray. So, here she is:

Ravishing. Now, because it’s currently our anniversary, I let her pick today’s movie from my list. And so, she chose a musical that neither she nor I have seen: 2004′s The Phantom of the Opera. And some of you may now be saying, “What, this guy said he liked movie musicals, and he hasn’t seen TPotS? That’s like saying you haven’t seen Grease, or Singin’’ in the Rain, or, PFFT, West Side Story!”

...About that...

Yeah, yeah, I know! It’s insane, and I’m a hypocrite. I’ll be getting to the rest of those eventually, and one of them’ll be coming in the next couple of days, I promise. You can probably guess which one. Anyway, fact of the matter is that we’re gonna watch it tonight, and I’m looking forward to it. 

However, there’s another factor to this, and that’s the fact that this film...doesn’t have the best reputation amongst fans of the original musical. And, yeah, this should ideally be the Michael Crawford version, but the Butler version is the one I have access to, so we’re going for it. SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap (1/2)

Paris, 1919, back when the whole city was in black-and-white for a year. They lost the budget for color after World War I. Anyway, at an old opera house, an auction is taking place, and items found within the theater are for sale. One of these is a music box with a monkey on it, an item which sponsors a bidding war between an older woman, and an older man in a wheelchair. I’m sure we’ll find out who they are eventually.

Anyway, a broken chandelier is also up for option, and was involved in the mysterious disaster of the “Phantom of the Opera” fiasco. They turn it on with electric light, and as they raise it to the ceiling, the organist goes fuckin’ NUTS. The song’s so loud that it REVERSES TIME, and we’re now in color, in the year 1870 at the same opera house.

The theatre, managed by the soon-to-retire Monsieur Lefèvre (James Fleet), has just been purchased by Richard Firmin (Ciaran Hinds) and Gilles André (Simon Callow), who are there to observe. On stage, a rehearsal for the opera Hannibal is taking place, and the costume’s are already...like, a LOT, not gonna lie. The headliner for the show is soprano (and drama queen supreme) Carlotta Giudicelli (Minnie Driver), and is being funded by patron Raoul, Vicomte de Chagny (Patrick Wilson). 

The background dancers are instructed by Madame Giry (Miranda Richardson), and include her daughter, Meg (Jennifer Ellison), and her adopted daughter, Christine Daaé (Emmy Rossum). As the rehearsal takes place, an accident happens on stage, almost injuring Carlotta. Enraged, she leaves, and refuses to perform.

Meanwhile, Madame Giry finds a letter from the Phantom, who demands his normal monthly salary of 20,000 francs, as for Box 5 to be left open. While the new owners think that this is ridiculous, they also note that it’s pointless without a lead singer for their show. 

However, Christine is volunteered, and shows that she is indeed a talented singer. The show goes on, and Christine is a smash, much to Carlotta’s dismay. At this point, Raoul also discovers that this is his long lost childhood friend (and possibly long lost love) Christine, which she also noticed earlier.

But this is because of a mysterious teacher, who sings to her from the walls of the theatre. Meg comes in to congratulate her (through song), and asks who her tutor is. Meg responds...in song (”Angel of Music”).

Afterwards, Madame Giry also congratulates her, and tells her that the Phantom is pleased with her. Right after, Raoul also pays her a visit, and the two reconnect on shared memories of times in an attic in the summer. She tells Raoul that she is visited by an Angel of Music, and cannot go to the dinner that night with him. And the Phantom agrees, as he locks Christine in her room. YIKES. 

And as literally every person in the theatre except Christine leaves, the Phantom serenades her, angered by Raoul’s presence, and Christine’s potential dalliance with him (”Mirror”). And through the mirror, he takes her to a mysterious crypt beneath the theatre. And as they sing their strange duet in the form of the title song (”The Phantom of the Opera”)...I try to resist talking about Gerard Butler until later. And it’s hard. It’s SO hard, guys.

But, OK, he takes her away on a...sewer horse...how the FUCK did he get that horse down there? And wait, WAIT, does he put her on that horse to walk her, like, 20 feet to the gondola? Like...WHY DO YOU HAVE THE HORSE? That is...monumentally wasteful. Where do you keep the horse? Does he feed the horse? How much? How often? With what? Does the horse eat the sewer rats? Is there naturally growing sewer hay? Does the Phantom’s salary go towards buying food for the horse, or buying new horses when the original ones DIE OF STARVATION - WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH THIS HORSE?!?!? WHOMSTVE THE FUCK

And yes, I love this fuckin’ song (not the singers, but we’ll get there), but this is distracting me alongside the statues of naked men in the sewer, because...well, Joel Schumacher. What can I say, it’s kind of his aesthetic. Anyway, we get officially introduced to the Phantom of the Opera (Gerard Butler), a very handsome-looking man who likes wearing a half-mask.

I say handsome, because the Phantom in this movie, looks...fine. HE LOOKS OK. HE LOOKS LIKE A DUDE WEARING A MASK. What, did somebody throw a hot candle at his face once, and he freaked out over it and ran into the sewers forever...WITH A HORSE? NOT OVER THE HORSE SHIT.

Look, the Phantom is supposed to be HIDEOUSLY scarred. Famously, in one of the film adaptations of Phantom, actor Lon Chaney Jr. purposely distorted his own face using adhesive face in order to play the role of the hideously disfigured character. Now, other versions have just given him severe, and I mean SEVERE burn scars. But behind the mask, Butler looks...fine. HE LOOKS FINE GODDAMMIT. He looks like he’s wearing the mask because it looks edgy and shit.

But OK, what’s happening in the movie? Oh, right, more serenading (”Music of the Night”), with another song that I like quite a bit. This and the previous song were songs Id heard before, and that I’d already had on my playlist. They’re great, what can I say? Now is Butler doing it justice? Ehhhhhhh, we’ll talk about that in the Review.

During this song he kinda seduces her, or attempts to, and also shows her a wedding dress. She sees herself in it and IMMEDIATELY faints, Jesus!  Curtain falls on Christine while she’s in a bed, and we go back to her room, where Meg is looking for her. She finds the mirror, and is about to go back there, but her mother finds and stops her.

Meanwhile, stagehand Joseph Buquet (Kevin McNally) tells the chorus girls of the legend of the Phantom, and describes a physical description that doesn’t match him...even a little. We cut back to Christine, who wakes up in what my girlfriend refers to as a “bomb-ass HQ.” Which is fair, let’s be honest. Anyway, she heads over and tries to unmask her new masked lover (?).

He’s not the biggest fan of this, and he emos all over the screen (”Stranger Than You Dreamt It”). And then, as he puts his mask on, we suddenly (and I mean suddenly) jump to 1919, where the old woman, Madame Giry, bids farewell to...wait, that’s Raoul? HOW DOES HE LOOK SO MUCH OLDER THAN HER, WHAT???

Back in the past, inexplicably, the theatre owners and manager sing about the theatre and the Phantom’s demands ("Notes..."), and are soon joined by Raoul, who brings them a separate note, saying not to look for Christina any further. THEN, Carlotta joins them, delivering a letter of her own from the Phantom, warning her not to return to the theatre.

In his letters, he details how his theatre is to be run, threatening a disaster if Christine is not cast in the lead role, and if Carlotta is not cast in a silent role. However, the theatre owners and Carlotta refuse to obey, and Carlotta is cast in the role, as the owners try to appease her (”Prima Donna”).

That night, during a performance of Il Muto, Carlotta’s singing the lead role. Additionally, Box Five is full, and the Phantom is PISSED. So, like a Phantom do, it’s time for some good old fashioned petty revenge! He switches her throat spray, causing her to lose her voice on stage, and causing the audience to laugh when the show ends abruptly. They quickly and publicly recast the role, giving it to Christine instead. Well, mission accomplished by the Phantom! Guess we’re good without retribution. And then he hangs the stagehand.

Well...fuck, man. Realizing that the Phantom is EXTREMELY dangerous, Christine goes to save Raoul, who she...is in a relationship with now? Wait...wait, hold up, the fuck did I miss? I mean, yeah, he probably is gonna kill Raoul, but there is, like, NO lead-up to their connection before this point.

Anyway, as Christine explains that there is a Phantom when Raoul says he doesn’t exist...wait, WHAT? MOTHER FUCKER BUQUET JUST NOT MURDERED IN FRONT OF EVERYBODY WHAT IN THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN????? YOU LITERALLY HEARD THE...you know what? Break. BREAK. This is...this one’s tough.

See you in Part 2!

[stephkaylor]

FAVES and FAILS: The Vampire Diaries

So I have decided that since The Vampire Diaries has a spin off, The Originals, I am going to divide the characters based on where they appeared the most. So on this list I will be talking about the Salvatores, the Petrova/Gilbert line, the Bennets and Caroline, etc. but I will discuss the Mikaelsons, Hayley, etc. on their own list with the other characters that appeared on The Originals mostly. As always, spoilers are abound as I will discuss storylines and character arcs below, so be warned of that.  In any case, here’s my FAVES and FAILS for The Vampire Diaries. 

FAVORITE MALE CHARACTER: Damon Salvatore

Could it be anyone else? I don’t think so. He’s a delightful little sociopathic shit and I love everything about him. He is 99% id and 1% ego, if that, and even when I hated him, I loved him (god, I sound like Elena…). In any case, love this man, five stars, would recommend, chef’s kiss. 

LEAST FAVORITE MALE CHARACTER: …I think Matt Donovan…?

Ugh, it’s hard to pick between Matt, Tyler, and Jeremy, but I think it has to be Matt. I never enjoyed his judgey attitude against everything supernatural, he seemed pretty whiney most of the time, and he was just genuinely uninteresting for the majority of the show.  Not into it. Pass.

FAVORITE FEMALE CHARACTER: Katherine Pierce (Katarina Petrova)

I thought about giving this post to Caroline by default, but if it comes down to it, Katherine nudges her way into the top spot. Katherine gave no fucks, knew what she wanted and was unapologetic about how she went about getting it, and an all around bad bitch. Was she primarily evil? Yes. But, to be honest, it never really bothered me. 

LEAST FAVORITE FEMALE CHARACTER: Bonnie Bennet

God, this woman was annoying. She was hypocritical, judgmental, and far too holier than thou for me to swallow her bullshit. She constantly played favorites with Caroline and Elena (I’m sorry, you hold Caroline becoming a vampire against her for like two seasons, but when Elena becomes one, it’s not her fault? Sure.). She hated all supernatural creatures because they “go against nature”, but it’s totally chill for you to perform sacrificial magic to get what you want, unleashing a terrible evil in the process (but it’s not her fault). How she nearly excommunicated Caroline just because she stayed with Stefan after Stefan killed Enzo, as if it was her fault in any way. How everyone treated her like she was a special little unicorn because she’s a Bennet Witch and she’s so magical, like, please, gag me. I could go on, but I honestly cannot be bothered. Hard pass. 

THE CHARACTER THAT DESERVED BETTER: Caroline Forbes

She was essentially shunned by all of her friends and family for becoming a vampire, even though she didn’t choose to become one at all. Also, she was basically used as collateral damage for the entire Salvatores and Gilberts versus The Mikaelsons debacle just because Klaus liked her. She was always the second choice no matter what the situation was (unless it’s her being impregnated with magical twins without her consent and then guilted into carrying the babies, but poor Alaric just lost his wife. I’m sorry, unless it’s your uterus, shut the fuck up). I’ll just be over here doing what exactly NO ONE on the show did, and pick Caroline first.

DEADWEIGHT CHARACTER WE SHOULD’VE DUMPED IN 2009: Tyler Lockwood

I couldn’t pick Matt twice, so Tyler, I guess. He was selfish, a terrible boyfriend to both Caroline and also Liv later, and if I have to hear that boy whine about his fucking sire bond one more time I will literally throw my laptop off of a bridge. 

UNDERHYPED CHARACTER: Lorenzo “Enzo” St. John

Honestly, he’s one of the one things that made the last few seasons of the show bearable.  His delightful British rogue was a lovely way to fill the void that the Mikaelsons left in my heart, his devil-may-care attitude was man-made-manifest of what I was always thinking while watching the show, his BFF relationship with Damon and later Caroline was a joy to watch, and he was way too good for Bonnie. 

OVERHYPED CHARACTER: Alaric Saltzman

He is marginally more bearable right now on Legacies, but he annoyed the shit out of me while he was on the first show. Does he hate vampires or is he best friends with them? Does he want to be a hunter or does he want to stay away from anything supernatural of any kind? Also, he (along with nearly everyone else) basically guilted Caroline into carrying his magical siphoner babies, which is a touch too icky for me…

SHIP YOU WOULD SELL YOUR SOUL FOR: Delena (Damon and Elena)

Could it be anyone else? I never shipped Stelena, as I found both Stefan annoying and Elena too woe-is-me while she was with him. She made Damon want to be a better person and he made her embrace who she really was, monster and all. They had a perfect balance between themselves, and it was a joy to watch. He got the girl, guys. 

SHIP YOU JUST WERE’N THAT INTO: Steroline (Stefan and Caroline)

They were just too…meh. I was entirely uninterested in them, whatsoever, and isn’t that even worse than a ship that you hate? I used their scenes for a bathroom break or to get a snack, as I was guaranteed to miss nothing interesting or important while they were on screen. 

CHARACTER YOU LOVE TO HATE/FAVORITE VILLAIN: Kai Parker

What does it say about me that all of my favorite characters are violent psychopaths…? I’m just going to leave that to be unpacked with the future therapists I’m bound to hire. Kai was the perfect evil. He was powerful, purposeful, and unapologetically demonic in the very best way. I could watch him terrorize my favorite characters forever and not get bored.  Perfection.

FAVORITE STORYLINE: Stefan and Damon’s Brotherhood

If you don’t think this is what the show was about at it’s core, you’re wrong. They loved each other, they hated each other, they died for each other, they killed for each other, and, ultimately, they let nothing and nobody come between them. If you asked me who Damon loved more, Elena or Stefan, I COULD NOT answer you, and isn’t that just the fucking point?!

STORYLINE WE COULD’VE DONE WITHOUT: Magical Babies

I know that a major reason this was even a storyline is because Candice Accola got pregnant, but still…how? Like…she is a vampire..? She is unable to biologically change…? Like can someone grab me a biology textbook and explain how this a thing that can happen BIOLOGICALLY, please? I get that they are mythical creatures, so science doesn’t mean much here, but it just doesn’t make sense in any universe. Also, as I said above, the fact that Caroline was impregnated without her consent and then largely guilted into carrying the babies is a touch too rape-y for me…

BIGGEST PLOTHOLE: Do they go to school, or…? 

Like, are they just compelling the teachers to not notice them not attending class like 90% off the time? Also, how do the people in Mystic Falls not know anything about the supernatural? Like, they aren’t subtle AT ALL so how do they keep sliding under the radar? Also, in a lesser way, how are hybrid witch/vampires a thing? Like, I thought if a witch dies (like they would have to if they become a vampire), they lose their magic…?Make it make sense, Julie!

MOST HEARTBREAKING MOMENT: Damon Dies (the first time)

Honestly one of the saddest moments in the entire series was Damon’s ghost watching Elena lose it when he doesn’t make it back from the Other Side. They were finally happy and together and they can only enjoy it for like five minutes before it goes to shit. Why, Julie??!

BIGGEST EYEROLL MOMENT: Magical Babies (again)

I try to not use something twice on this list but COME ON. This was ridiculous and I do not support this in any way.  (Also this twin bullshit is still fucking annoying on Legacies, if anyone was wondering).

MOST SHOCKING MOMENT (any spit-takes?): Elena forces Kathrine to take The Cure

This was one of the moments that I literally gasped aloud. Most of the time the foreshadowing on these shows is seen from miles away, but I honestly did not see this coming at all. Also, Kathrine was basically the LAST person who wanted that cure so it’s crazy that she was the one to end up taking it and turning human.

MOST BADASS MOMENT: Kathrine kisses Damon at the end of Season 1

Like I said before, she is the original BAD BITCH of the show (not an actual Original, but you know what I mean…) and this was an amazing entry for the character who would be, largely, the villain of the series. It played on the feelings that Damon is developing for Elena, it finally introduced the person who started it all for the Salvatores, and it showed us exactly who she is at her core, and that she isn’t sorry about it at all.

SERIES FINALE SATISFACTORY LEVEL (use no words, just gifs):

OVERALL MARKS OUT OF TEN (10 being this show has changed your life for the better, you happily rewatch the series over and over, and the show has made your life better in some way. 1 being this show gave you nothing but trust issues, a stomach ulcer, and high blood pressure, and you honestly do not know why you did this to yourself) 

7 out of 10. 

I look back on The Vampire Diaries with the kind of fondness that only comes from a bizarre mix of nostalgia and incredulity. When scenes from this series show up on my instagram feed or on my Youtube recommended page, an involuntary smile creeps across my face without me realizing. I could do without like half of the characters and some entire seasons were completely unnecessary to watch, but it gave me some of my very favorite characters and ships, and spawned an entire universe that I still enjoy to this day. This magical, crazy, beautiful world was a joy to experience, even when it made me want to beat my head against a wall at least once per season.

If you want to see the other ones I have made, here's the original post with links. x  Hope you like these! (I say to probably no one...)

[fan-clan-fun]

Tigerclaw

first off, thank you for reviewing Sycamore!! :D also thank you for viewing my suffix system for marshclan, but now I feel bad since I think I’m just gonna stick with ailuronymy’s system, but add a few more suffixes?? lol I am so sorry.

Hey, you do you! Whatever choice you wanna make, at least I can maybe inspire others with ideas after discussing them. And Im always glad to get character reviews, so keep them coming!

I have another character set in the same universe as her, and I’m excited about him but also looking for feedback most notably on his history? any feedback you can give is appreciated.

also this got kind of long, so i’m sending in just info on tiger first, and then i’ll send in his fam later.

Name: Tigerclaw (named after the tiger moth)

Nice, Im glad you found a way to keep Tiger as a prefix without having to worry about coming up with some reason they know about the large feline. And also nice, a reworking of Tigerclaw as a name, a reclaiming as it were.

Previous names: Tigerpaw, Tigerkit

Age: 60 moons

Appearance: Tigerclaw is a tortoiseshell ticked tabby tom with orange eyes and mid grade white spotting. His general build is substantial, which especially sticks out among the sleeker, smaller MarshClan cats. He has long fur which easily repels water and his tail is his most striking feature; long, plumed and fluffy. Underneath his fur are many scars, some long ago faded. He’s built of muscle and has strong legs. His eyes are faded, almost dull orange color and deep set in his face. His left eye is blind, and his ears are tattered, which give him fairly bad hearing, much to his dismay. His nose is freckled, taking after his birth mother, Peachcloud.

I am curious about the choice to do a ticked tabby with a name like Tiger, although perhaps the pictures I looked up of the Tiger Moth weren’t the right ones? Not that that is a big deal, in fact thats up to your interpretation. I do appreciate his age (which isnt old old but very few people make cats past like 40 moons at most), and his scars. I love scarred functional warriors.

Personality: Tigerclaw is a charming individual, his voice is quiet yet warm and rich which draws others to him. Among his friends, family and fellow Clanmates, he’s known for his stalwart attitude, protectiveness (some would say he’s a bit overprotective at times) and perhaps most well known is his excellent fighting abilities (he is also great at strategic retreating). In battle, he has no need to taunt or tease his foes he wants to get right down to it and fight. This has made him both very popular and has gained him many enemies outside his home Clan and while he’s somewhat flattered, gone are the days where he would soak up the praise (or envy) like plants after rain. Now, he’ll simply say a quiet “thank you” and be on his way. He’s aloof with strangers because while he can make friendly small-talk at a Gathering, don’t expect him to stick around for long or engage in pointless gossip. He absolutely despises kittypets, while loners and rogues get a bit of grudging respect from him, but not much. 

Tigerclaw values honesty and practicality. If he can smell, see, taste, hear or touch something, then that’s all he needs. He much prefers the living world to the theorized afterlife and his biggest fear is of the unknown, and by extension, he’s not very religious. While he will participate in morning prayers and such, he doesn’t care much for Starclan and leaves that to the leader and the seers. Tigerclaw wholeheartedly believes in justice and the one thing he can’t stand are liars, hypocrites and abuse of power. He absolutely despises kittypets, while loners and rogues get a bit of grudging respect from him, but not much. 

Among younger cats, he’s patient and calm, willing to take things at one’s own pace and will go over the lesson material as many times as one needs. That being said, while he enjoys training apprentices, he doesn’t care for kits very much; they make him nervous.

This guy is fascinating! He really sounds like a solid dependable -claw, not necessarily a dumb jock but a well-rounded fighter. I am amused by his practical down to earth approach and how that translates to his faith in Starclan. It almost seems like his belief is more based on cultural conformity than true belief. Im also interested in the fact that he feels uncomfortable around kits and yet he had two litters himself. Were they fostered by another queen? Did he raise them?

Clan: MarshClan 

Rank: Warrior

Extra:

Kits, Starclan, romance and the unknown make him nervous.

Has four kits, each by different toms. Stormheart and Lightningclaw were his first litter, second was Firewhisker and Cinderstream.

He carries for cinnamon, classic tabby, and solid.

Tigerclaw is bisexual! He prefers toms, though.

While he’d like a mate, he often gets too focused on his duties to bother with romance. Besides, he always ends up making a fool of himself anyway, so why bother is his thinking.

Aww poor guy... its always sad to have bad luck in love.

He’s trained three apprentices, and is currently on his fourth, a small lilac molly named Ivypaw. She’s more on the timid side, so they’re taking the training slow and so far it’s going well.

He sounds like a lovely guy! Id like to hear a little more about his past, about his kits and their relationship.

Thanks for sending him in, I enjoyed reading it!

[sayedfarah]

Is Facebook still about the people?

Dear Mark Zuckerberg, Sheryl Sandberg and the rest of the management,

This is a complaint from a traumatized Facebook user who suffered and is still suffering from great emotional distress because of Facebook’s undisclosed policies and the attitude of Facebook employees.

My name is Sayed Farah, a proud holder of the Jordanian 🇯🇴 nationality. I’m a well known engineer, politician, and activist in my country. I stopped a legistlation (the national building law bill) at the Parliament for 14 months and forced the change of the unconstitutional articles that would have given the government the right to become jury and executioners.

If I were American, there would have been a Wikipedia page about me by now and maybe a documentary or two and I would have been mentioned in the news and hosted on major talk shows. But down here in my beloved country I’m the uncontrollable “reform villain” who stands with the people and nobody wants to give credit to. Well I’m an honest moderate reformer who says it as it is and shall never disguise the truth to get bounties. I’m also a good writer and published many articles about democracy, politics, human rights, equality and environmental issues to educate my country men and women about their rights. It is tiring enough to lead a life of swimming against the current.

Several years ago I said to myself why not use the biggest social media network out there that claims to care about people and preach about equality and all kind of nice mottos about making a difference etc. to gain some influence and get a push in my mission to make a better future in the world my two daughters (4& 6 now) grow up to find and I decided to concentrate my efforts on Facebook. And what a bad decision it turned out to be!

Frustrating obstacle after frustrating obstacle and when I’m lucky to get human help instead of computers, there it comes. The patronizing condescending attitude. I merged my page several times so what? Is it a crime that deserves a lifetime sentence? If the page didn’t have technical issues I wouldn’t have started a new one. I just want to merge the older one into the new one because your employees failed for weeks and weeks to resolve the technical issues. I spent a little fortune on the old page to get it to 40,000 likes and I don’t use it anymore. I’m not rich and I do not get tenders anymore because I oppose the mainstream and I’m not a two-faced hypocrite. Had to unpublish the old page as it keeps on “bleeding” followers nonstop.

You wouldn’t believe some of the anwers I got on email and messenger from your employees. Or maybe you just do not care as long as the money keeps on coming. One guy sent an email that there’s nothing wrong with my page and usernames do not surface on mobile phones! (the username is my personal brand that I use everywhere). Later a guy from your Ireland office called me on the phone and said that they can’t fix the technical issues and they can blue badge verify my account as a compensation and he’ll send me an email. He never sent the email.

if you use up your Facebook “merging” lives the money you paid is gone!

I tried in vain to get in touch with the guy but your other employees in Portugal and Ireland kept on kicking me around. A few days ago my account was closed and I got an email that I’m impersonating myself. I sent my ID and yesterday, 60 hours later, I got a message that it was “by mistake”. An hour later I received the bill that I owe Facebook $147 for advertisment fees and it’s in my face everytime I open the application.

Facebook does surface the username of all pages on mobiles, except for mine.. What an IRRESPONSIBLE REPLY!

Case #10155587887841847 is still “opened” and I told them that I’m subjected to bullying / extortion but still no humans replying after a couple of days. Just the same automated provocative message with different names at the end each time. I really looked hard for the blue badge verification form that your employees keep on hiding in different places and managed to find it twice, once last November and once last week. In both times I got the same reply. So what does “public appearance” mean exactly? And how can I increase my public appearance and reapply in 30 days if the link to the form gets broken and there’s no new link? This last time the link got broken before I got the chance to send links to my blog, news about myself in newspapers etc. I contacted the media support and they emailed me a verification form link.

And guess what, the link your media operations team sent me is broken!

I replied that the link is broken and sent them the links that prove my public appearance but still no reply. And they’re ignoring me ever since. Case #10155587188011847.

One of your employees on messenger said that I have to sponsor my page with $10,000 per month for 3 straight months to be able to reach an “account manager” to verify my account! So Facebook warns about paying money for blue badges and offers them to the rich? Very frustrating to say the least!

Definitely my lawyer will have a heart attack when he reads this. Oh well, go ahead and sue me. Maybe I’ll get the “public appearance” needed to verify myself on other social media networks and become heard. I don’t own a house, you can have my car in an out of court settlement and my shares in a struggling contracting company.

Maybe your employees don’t give a damn about the people because you don’t give a damn about the people anymore. Mr. Zuckerberg, I read that you are planning to reach 5 billion users by 2030. To tell you the truth, I really hope that you fail to do so. I just can’t imagine what an ugly materialistic hypocritical world you’ll create!

Regards,

Sayed Farah.

p.s. I’ll pay you the $147.70 asap!

[bugclub]

ALL THA QUESTIONS

it wouldn’t let me copy the numbers ;:) so here we go fellas

Who hurt you the most?geez idk maybe my dad altho in retrospect he was right and i was wrong but he said some really messed up stuff to me sometimes and he also was usually the reason i would ever c** my***f

Who have you hurt the most?probably my dad as well. i was fucked up as a teenager and i know it was hell for him

Who do you miss the most?no offense but my dad. i just rly miss ig how life use to be when i lived with him.

Who do you want out of your life the most?the bitches and freaks that send me anon hate. begone demons

Who had the biggest negative impact on you?the white trash xanax junkies i met in 2014.

Who do you wish you could be honest with?i suppose emilio. im not holding any secrets in but i dont tell him a lot of stuff like when my emotions are dangerously out of whack or im having a panic attack or anything like that. i think if i were more open about stuff like that we’d communicate better when im actually freaking out

Who have you harbored (any kind of!) secret feelings towards?hmm.. coworkers come to mind just cause sometimes i dont agree with things they say but i dont want to make working with them uncomfortable by saying anything. other than that just crushes from my past probably

Who would the world be better off without?donald trump, racists, rapists, heroin dealers, etc

Who do you wish you’d treated differently?grace…i use to not like her because someone was feeding me lies…im so sorry grace my beautiful raspberry girl

What was the worst day of your life?probably the day i woke up in a daze post being raped with all my money stolen from my car . or i suppose the day it actually happened

What’s your greatest fear?losing my mind

What’s your biggest insecurity?hmm…not sure. honestly im not very insecure like i know i have insecurities but nothing comes to mind immediately. i wouldnt know til im insecure about it

What’s your biggest regret?getting hooked on xanax

Describe your ideal world.boondock saints are in charge and they’re my best friends

Describe your personal hell.donald trump is in charge and my best friend is my bong rosalina

What’s a hopeless dream you’re still holding on to?damn idek, probably just that every day of my life i wish emilio and i would meet sooner than we did but obviously there’s no point in that

What’s the most embarrassed you’ve ever been?one time i let a girl borrow my phone in hs and her nosy ass went thru my shit and found…sensitive content. i was embarrassed for a long time. i only recently remembered this happened

What’s the angriest you’ve ever been?various evenings at my job at dominos. i fucking hate those bitches

What’s the saddest you’ve ever been?in the mental hospital

What’s the most scared you’ve ever been?this took me forever but it was DEFINITELY my bad trip. i thought i was dead lmao

What’s the most hopeless you’ve ever felt?probably also during that acid trip. i thought i was not coming out and this was it. it felt like real life was melting away and i was gonna be stuck in some blank universe alone. horrible. im gagging

What’s the most frantic you’ve ever felt?i dont really get frantic ever. im good at staying calm especially in dire times

What’s the best case scenario for your future?emilio and i get married and have a family. i dont really want or need anything else

What’s the worst case scenario for you future?i try heroin get really fucked up and die alone

What’s the most physical pain you’ve ever felt?the pain from the last time i punched a wall was ridiculous and came in big waves which was awful. utis can hurt a lot and im prone to those for some reason. when i had the flu my body ached like ive never felt

What’s the most emotional pain you’ve ever felt?i dont want to talk about this one

Describe a time you felt like a hypocrite.i dunno.

Describe a time you felt like a traitor.obviously getting with emilio at first…but ik its not actually that messed up now so 💁 irrelevant

Describe a time you felt like a hero.i dont know. i use to help out my junkie friends a lot

Describe a time you felt inhuman.almost always

Describe a time you felt like a failure.in fourth grade i got an f in math because i kept putting the plus sign on the wrong side of the problem and my teacher failed me on all my homework. no one was even mad at me but i couldn’t look anyone in the eye for days

What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done?i dont know..i use to spew out hate in like 2010-2012. i hate that

What are you proudest of?my relationship with emilio, our good dogs, my recovery (not rly done yet but so far so good)

What’s your relationship with your family like?good. weird and a little distant at time but good

What’s your relationship with religion like?non-existent

Talk about someone you’ve lost.eh.

Talk about someone who abandoned you.eh.

Talk about a desire you have that scares you.not sure this is a thing for me

What’s something you wish you were capable of?wish i had more motivation for things that could make my future better like college

What’s something you’re afraid that you’re capable of?not rly afraid of anything id do

Describe the kind of life you wish you’d been born into.mine was fine

Describe your worst heartbreak.i was subjected to things i shouldn’t have been because of bad timing. i wouldnt have wanted it any other way and things worked out

Describe your worst disappointment.not sure dont want to dig this deep rn

Have you ever taken a fall for someone?yes. and i still get shit on for a lot of it

Have you ever forced or let someone take a fall for you?i honestly dont think so. correct e if im wrong

Have you ever done serious physical harm to someone?never on purpose (so far)

Have you ever done serious emotional harm to someone?probably. my bad

Have you ever self-harmed?yes

Have you ever attempted suicide?yes

Have you ever stolen something?yes

Have you ever cheated on someone?no

Have you ever been cheated on?no

Have you ever taken revenge on someone?nah

Have you ever seriously considered killing somone?yes 😂 oops

Have you ever betrayed someone who trusted you?allegedly

Have you ever experienced something supernatural or unexplainable?yes

thanks 💝🍓

if anyone reads all tis i love you and urr one of my best friends

[thevagabondlog]

Ive been staring at this blank page for an hour now. I haven’t written a shred of anything in close to a year, but I feel like the current set of circumstances right now dictate it. Hermes guides me. I haven’t even written a draft by hand like I normally do, Im just letting this come out and it feels great.

The last two, maybe even three years of my strange trip on this planet have been such a surreal high paced blur. Ive come to realize that I do too much in too short a time, too many places visited, people met, things done in the dead of night and the overwhelming heat of the day. A few strings busted, a few hearts broken. Nothing out of the ordinary except the fact that my address is still changing every month and I’m still getting lost daily, both in reality and in my mind. Not that I’d change it for the world. I don’t even know who exactly reads this garbage but if you still are, know this is going to be a long one. Ive got a lot on my mind, time is on my side and there’s nowhere I need to be.

Everyday in the Caribbean is incredibly hot and sticky. Every night is mysterious and romantic.

Writing this is simultaneously difficult and surprisingly easy. Its difficult to explain whats been shredding through my head the last few months or however bloody long. Since I last attempted to write, if you can call it that, Ive since been through a serious and drama filled breakup with my long term girlfriend back home, been to seven countries including South Africa ( more on that later ), morphed back into the older Joshua Palmer and basically been running a permanent anarchic riot around the world. As I write now, its once again a hot day in the Bahamas and my head is still swirling with Ricardo Black Rum from the previous night. Special Edition, of course.

Church of the Open Sky.

April 5 - April 26, three weeks back in the motherland after more than a year and a half overseas. A lot of expectations held, almost none of them met. Im not quite sure why, but looking back now in June I realize i didn’t enjoy my stay there at all. Highlights include seeing my parents again (they wept) and one or two close friends who I’m not even sure are still friends at this stage. I came to realize I hate most of the people that fill up my tiny coastal hometown, largely due to the fact that they’re all hypocritical judgmental small minded people who have never been anywhere farther than the gas station in the next town. Keep in mind that these are the same people that said I’d never amount to anything and Id be back home after a month of failed traveling searching for a job running a yacht. Choke on your words. Anyhow, I also got told numerous times that I’d changed completely, becoming much more ‘arrogant’, ‘rude’, ‘insensitive’ etc to the people around me. I suppose in a way I was, but then everyone back in that place is easily offended and so narrow minded it makes me want to shoot myself. I suppose Im much happier over here, on my own and fending for myself, in foreign countries where I don’t know anyone, and all I know is where North-East is. The entire time I was back there, I couldn’t wait to come back to the West Indies. It feels good getting these thoughts down, they’ve been bouncing around my head for too long now.

I was dancing with some girl in a club a month or two ago and in-between reggaetron and soca she asked me a question no one has ever asked before: “Where do you consider home?” I really don’t know. Definitely not back in my hometown, I don’t plan on setting foot in that place for another twenty years at least. Its not on the boat either, nor on any of the islands. Id have to say home is wherever I feel alive the most. Which just so happens to be fifteen feet underwater looking up.

May 4 - Twentieth birthday in Georgetown, Exumas, Bahamas. Largely uneventful, frankly boring and unsatisfying. Mind you I was working at the time so of course the celebrations were minimal to non existent.

January 2017 - Current.

Adopted really strange sleeping patterns similar to a Russian insomniac writer fighting his bouts of suicidal depression with vodka and pharmaceuticals. I don’t know what this stems from other than my erratic lifestyle of mainly working onboard the entire day and still getting drunk at local bars into the early hours of every new day.

Right now its summer and every heat wave day is longer than the last.

I have lost interest in a lot of people who I once thought important. I do not know if this is selfish on my part or all just part of moving around constantly, or just one of those things you deal with as you get older. I have been told numerous times that I’m not going to make it past thirty, and for some reason or other I’m embracing the thought. Go out in a strange and mysterious accident of sorts somewhere out at sea, that place that once gave birth to me. Ill let you know.

For the past few weeks I have also had these increasingly frequent urges to just pack up, delete my Facebook and go completely off the grid, getting lost in strange and exotic foreign places. Lawrence of Arabia in Morocco. Not knowing the unknown is turning me on more and more everyday, as well as the idea of just giving the finger to all the people back home who are getting married young, stuck in nine-to-fives that they hate, and coming home to deal with the mortgage and car insurance people. I left the country the first time with no actual plan, one bag and sixty dollars in my pocket and I don’t regret a single moment. And I don't mean all those cliche travel pictures and utter bullshit you see on social media telling you to just ‘pack up and go’, I mean actually deserting myself. Exile on Main St. Highway Child. Midnight Rambler.

The lust for this has never been greater. I keep asking myself just what is holding me back?

My biggest fear is living a life just like everyone else, a life that no one remembers. Why should I listen to any authority or second guess myself? Time will tell and hopefully sooner or later. And if I’m not mistaken, and I surely hope not, I may have found someone to do it with. A woman unlike anyone else Ive met or ever known before. A woman who, somehow exceeds everything I think about her constantly and is basically the exact fibre of my dream girl since I was fifteen. Physically outrageous, a beautiful figure. Mentally, she keeps me on my toes only because I hope to somehow match her standards. Well travelled and with such an eerily alike mind to my own its more than possible we were once together in an earlier life. My best efforts of a description is a glorious hybrid of a gypsy, voodoo witch, mermaid, and the Goddess Aphrodite all in one. With a sprinkling of a rebellious 1960’s mindset which only turns me on further. Making love to her only broke my mind in two and made me question everything. She’s everything I ever wanted from every rock and roll song Ive listened to, and she’s in all of them. And believe it or not I only knew her for three days before she flew off again, once more traveling. While Im starting to feel a little stuck in this place. Most would say Im crazy, but I already knew that.

I do wonder what, and how exactly she’s had such an effect on me. It makes me look back at every other girl I’ve ever been with and realize that they do not even come close to her or the psycho-electric effect she has on me. And if you know me, you’d know I dont feel like this to anyone, ever. She’s touched me deep down, and the next few months or years or whatever only promise to be very exciting.

Im trying, and not succeeding very well, to look back at everything over the past few months and years, if you couldn’t tell by now. How many people did I meet for five minutes and never see again? Friends or lovers for one night and then gone the next day never to be seen? I look at what all my ‘friends’ are doing back home, studying in their first or second year. My best friend living with his fiancee and hating every second, constant fighting and the such but too scared to leave because he believes he loves her and well, believes he cant do any better. In love with the security and constant hard work I suppose. A friend through the grapevine told me recently that he has lost respect for me and hates the lifestyle I live. I wont lie and tell you I wasn’t hurt or taken aback. We’ve spent four years together, done much, and always confided in one another. Is he jealous of the knowledge that Im traveling the world, free and easy, able to go to the bar every night and dance with exotic girls while he is forced to come home after work to a nagging unloving bitch that makes his life hell? He would never admit that. Im not scared to tell it exactly how it is though. Another trait passed on to me from my father, whom I miss so.

If I had never made the decision to leave all those months ago would I be in the same position as my friend right now? Maybe. More than likely, I was in a long term relationship with someone I thought I loved, about to get sucked into that domesticated world before I jumped ship. Haven’t seen her since actually. Thanks for the memories girl, but you weren’t for me.

Life would be very different and it would bore me to death. I prefer dying in other ways in places where no one understands English.

Now my thoughts go back to my unbiological sister, we once were very close. Always looking after one another, often mistaken to be a couple but not. I thought I was in love with her too, but she’s changed so dramatically in the time I was away I hardly recognized her anymore during my homecoming visit. She lied to me many times in those three weeks, thinking I wouldn’t find out, and probably still thinking Im ignorant. Makes me wonder why we are like we are. She told me I changed a lot too and I’m no longer the Josh she knew, that I’ve grown cold and distant. Well look at yourself babe, can you really blame me? Its only further cemented my belief that you need to keep moving forward in such a way that they will never trap you or hold you down, until finally you find someone that you want to be trapped with. You know who you are.

“I thought you needed my lovin’, But it’s my heart that you stole. I thought you wanted my money, But you plundered my soul.”