#icons the lord ofthe rings

[shitedits]

[fromtheringapron]

WWF The Wrestling Classic

Date: November 7, 1985.

Location: Rosemont Horizon in Chicago, Illinois.

Attendance: 14,000

Commentary: Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse Ventura. 

Results: 

1. Wrestling Classic, Round 1: Adrian Adonis (with Jimmy Hart) defeated Corporal Kirchner. 

2. Wrestling Classic, Round 1: Dynamite Kid defeated Nikolai Volkoff (with Freddie Blassie). 

3. Wrestling Classic, Round 1: Randy Savage (with Miss Elizabeth) defeated Ivan Putski.

4. Wrestling Classic, Round 1: Ricky Steamboat defeated Davey Boy Smith via referee stoppage. 

5. Wrestling Classic, Round 1: Junkyard Dog defeated The Iron Shiek (with Freddie Blassie). 

6. Wrestling Classic, Round 1: Moondog Spot defeated Terry Funk (with Jimmy Hart) via count-out. 

7. Wrestling Classic, Round 1: Tito Santana defeated Don Muraco (with Mr. Fuji). 

8. Wrestling Classic, Round 1: Paul Orndorff defeated Bob Orton via disqualification. 

9. Wrestling Classic, Quarter-Final: Dynamite Kid defeated Adrian Adonis (with Jimmy Hart). 

10. Wrestling Classic, Quarter-Final: Randy Savage (with Miss Elizabeth) defeated Ricky Steamboat.

11. Wrestling Classic, Quarter-Final: Junkyard Dog defeated Moondog Spot.

12. Wrestling Classic, Quarter-Final: Tito Santana and Paul Orndorff fought to a double count-out.  

13. WWF World Heavyweight Championship Match: Hulk Hogan (champion) defeated Roddy Piper via disqualification. 

14. Wrestling Classic, Semi-Final: Randy Savage (with Miss Elizabeth) defeated Dynamite Kid. 

15. Wrestling Classic, Tournament Final: Junkyard Dog defeated Randy Savage (with Miss Elizabeth) via count-out.

Analysis

Since the first WrestleMania was largely viewed via closed circuit television, The Wrestling Classic holds the distinction of being the WWF’s first event available exclusively on pay-per-view. The show proved successful enough to open up the flood gates for wresting on pay-per-view going forward, but does it hold up now? Absolutely fucking not. Due to the nature of the Wrestling Classic tournament, the entire show is put on fast-forward. We’re given some  ofthe quickest and screwiest finishes that would never leave the writer’s room today (or at least I hope). It doesn’t even have the charming naiveté of the first WrestleMania going for it. It’s certainly a historical curiosity, but that’s about it.

It’s kinda amazing to see some of the ideas they implement here that we wouldn’t see again. The show is presented to us in WrestleVision, which sounds like the type of gimmick I’d expect from a William Castle B-movie than an actual wrestling event. I’m sure since the show was such a novelty at the time, the whole WrestleVision bit was meant to make it feel a bit more special. A shame it still doesn’t present itself in any real, visible way throughout the entire broadcast. We’re also treated to a poorly laid-out Rolls Royce giveaway where the winner doesn’t even make an appearance. This idea of a prize giveaway would be explored again at the first In Your House where the WWF gave away an actual house, but at least that fit within the theme of that show. There’s no point to this car giveaway other than just to have one and, no, Lord Alfred Hayes rambling on the microphone isn’t going to make it better.

The good thing is that since everything is on speed mode and we’re getting something new literally every five minutes, there isn’t a lot of time to be bored. None of the matches, even the biggest ones, go over 10 minutes. The transition between matches and segments are starting to flow a lot better at this point in the company’s history. Speaking of which, in terms of production values, this is leagues better than the first WrestleMania. It’s pretty incredible how far they’d come in a few short months. This is largely thanks to their partnership with Dick Ebersol, who helped them launch Saturday Night’s Main Event on NBC. Just a marked improvement all-round. 

As for the card itself, all of the usual suspects of 1985 WWF are here. Hulk Hogan and Roddy Piper are obviously the biggest draws, but the real standout in hindsight is Randy Savage. Though he came aboard a few months prior, this feels like his true arrival. Everything we commonly associate with the Macho Man is on display⏤the manic demeanor, the incessant rambling, the in-ring psychology, etc. This is also a formal introduction to his relationship with Miss Elizabeth, which is certainly darker in a modern context but nonetheless serves as an early chapter to a story that’s going to play out over the next seven years of WWF television. He ultimately loses in the tournament finals, but he’s definitely the breakout character. A serviceable beginning for one of the most iconic legendary characters in wrestling history.

The Wrestling Classic isn’t an essential show by any means, but it’s pretty harmless fluff. It’s definitely a product of its time and if you’re into this time period, you’ll get a kick out of it. But don’t be fooled by the name⏤there’s a ton of wrestling, but it’s far from a classic. 

My Random Notes

Love the mid ‘80s WWF intro. Those laser sounds are everything.

Amazingly, one of the show’s most enduring contributions to the WWF canon is describing everything as a “happening.” The show is a happening. The matches are a happening. There’s just happenings upon happenings and Gorilla Monsoon is gonna let us know about it.

Like presumably many of you, I’m completely baffled by the mere existence of one Susan Waitkis. Who is she? Why is she dressed like one of the wives from Manos: The Hands of Fate? I can only guess that Vince McMahon probably envisioned every pay-per-view having these glamorous women stand about like the models on The Price is Right, but at least models there look attentive when they’re shilling dish detergent or whatever the fuck. Susan seems like she has no idea what the hell she’s doing. Fortunately, however, we’d get a much superior Susan six months later.

My god, Lord Alfred Hayes is next-level cringe on this show. What a hardcore creeper. There’s a point where he appears to be on the verge of dry-humping poor Ms. Waitkis with the most disturbing look on his face you could ever imagine. It’s so far removed from the dainty little British man we all know. I can’t believe I’m saying this but: Give me deathly terrified Lord Al from WrestleMania I any day over this.

Ivan Putski is definitely someone from a particular era of wrestling, but he feels out of place here. He looks like your dad flexing his muscles to show the young guys he’s still got it and it’s all a little embarrassing to watch.

Holy fuck does Jesse Ventura turns up the racism on Tito Santana. I probably don’t need to tell you the racism from the heel commentators of the era is one of the things from this era that’s aged the worst but, wow, it’s really bad. 

I really get a kick out of Ricky Steamboat’s acting when he draws Davey Boy Smith. “He’s a fine young man!” exclaims Steamboat, knowing he’s gonna have to beat the shit out of the same man later in the evening.

There’s some storyline where a bounty is on Paul Orndorff’s head. It doesn’t go anywhere and I honestly had no idea it even happened. I will say: between the first WrestleMania and this show, where the hell did Bobby Heenan get all that money?

Any word on what happened to Michael Hamley and what he did with that Rolls Royce? I feel like WWE Magazine did an interview with him several years later but I can’t be certain.