#iceman II

[kollectorsrus]

[friend-lover-traitor-narrator]

II MOST WANTED is so much icemav I'm crying. Like literally. OMG.

[kaismasterlist]

| 🩶: angst | 🩷: fluff | ❤️: smut | 🖤: dark |

Dark!Robert Pronge finally has you and he's never letting you go 🖤

Survive A Syverson 🩷

[thatsrightice]

Do you think the Navy requested their variant of the F-35 be the letter C-variant on purpose? Like F-35 Sea? Cause… you know… they’re the Navy?

[selfaware-bungou-stray-dogs]

Self-Aware! BSD x SAGAU Imposter AU Crossover ideas. Port Mafia Edition

Previous posts [I] [II] [III] [V] [VI] [VII] [VIII] [IX]

💉 Ougai Mori has his own nemesis. Zhongli hurt you and made you fear Mori's voice. Mori's goal is to destroy Zhongli's precious Liyue. Ougai will shower you with gifts, while you are recovering.

🍷 Even if all people with Geo Vision, Azdaha and Morax in a peak of his power will try to stop him, they won't stop Chuuya Nakahara. He won't even need to use the Corruption. He will make them pay for what they have done to you.

Chuuya will bring you gems he found in Teyvat. If the gems in question are valuable on Earth, he will sell them and will use the money on whatever you want. You can burn them, donate them, save them.

🌂 Kouyou Ozaki will become the nightmare for Inazuma's citizens. She and Golden Demon are silent and deadly. And no one will suspect a thing, Ranpo will make sure of it.

She will spend time with you, will let you pet Golden Demon.

🇫🇷 Paul Verlaine will become Teyvat Nightmare. Back in the app, he got his powers back, thanks to the messing with cards. If needed, he will unleash Demonic Beast Guivre on seven nations.

He will let you bride his hair. Makes sure, that you are healthy and happy.

🎧 Arthur Rimbaud is back to being a spy. He is ready to go to any nation he needs (even Snezhnaya). He and Verlaine will sabotage Dottore's work.

His hyperspace became one of the safest places for you. He will share his coat with you.

🏍️ Albatross is staying by your side, but, he is ready to sabotage any vehicle from Teyvat. He will take you on a motorcycle rides.

🧑‍⚕️ Doc is always checking your health. People of Teyvat take a number on you, and, while Yosano's ability did its job, he is concerned about mental scars.

🧊 While Iceman doesn't bear any grudges, he will make an exception for Teyvat's people. He will show them the hit man of Port Mafia.

He will listen to his records together with you.

🗣️ Lippman is doing his best in negotiating and tricking Teyvat officials. One day, even 'The Creator', that order to hunt you, will fall for his lies.

He will arrange spontaneous spa days for you. Your skin and hair were never that pretty.

🎹 Piano Man is using his skills to create fake mora. Mora are important not only as money, but in an alchemy. Soon Teyvat citizens won't be sure, if their money are real or not.

He will tell you funny stories he has heard. If it makes you happy, he will pronounce you an Honorary Flags member.

🧥 Akutagawa Ryunosuke and Rashomon like a black storm tear through Teyvat. Nothing will stop them. He feels guilty. He is your bodyguard and he failed you. He will undo his mistakes.

While on Earth, he won't leave your side. Will make hammock from Rashomon for you.

🔫 Ichiyou Higuichi is another spy. She will gather information from Liyue, getting close to Ninguang.

Will bring you fresh rumors.

🚬 Ryuurou Hirotsu is dealing with Treasure Hoarders and other criminal organizations. Black Lizards knew, how to show low criminals their place.

He will tell you stories about his youth (some of them are fictional, but, he is happy, when these stories make you smile).

🔪 Gin Akutagawa is a spy in Inazuma. She will get into Narukami Shrine as one of the shrine maidens.

She and Akutagawa will spend quiet evenings with you, watching movies.

🩹🧲 Tachihara Michizou is overworked. He is dealing with criminal organizations of Teyvat as Port Mafia member, and with official organizations of Teyvat (Fatui, Knights of Favonius...) as Hunting Dog. He won't stop. He wants to make them pay. Tachihara will use his ability to destroy factories.

🍰 Elise is staying near you. She is making sure, that you always have snacks and water. She will let you choose her outfit, take her to a shopping trip. She will listen to everything you say.

Waiting for the day she and Mori will face against Zhongli.

💎 Karma is reading you your favorite books. Doesn't matter, if the book is boring or scary, he will read it to you. Always worried about you.

⭐⭕ Kyuusaku Yumeno are waiting. From time to time, they are called by Mori to take a stroll in the main city of random nation. And every time, the stroll ends up in injuries. Not Q's.

They will try to make you smile. Offered you to play or cuddle with their doll.

🍋 Kaji Motojirou will drown Teyvat markets in lemon bombs. And, until his command, they won't detonate. He is waiting for a signal.

Kaji will show you easy and interesting scientific experiments.

🍛 Oda Sakunosuke is taking care of you. While he is ready to go to Teyvat, he decided to spoil you and make happy.

_____

Tag list: @withered-blossoms

[sehnsuchts-trunken]

Ice Ice Baby

Iceman x fem!fellow pilot!reader (callsign Hera. sorry not sorry im obsessed with greek myth) 4k words 

summary: You need a fake date to your friend’s wedding. Who better to ask than your coworker Ice, who you may have developed a little bit of a crush on? 

part II | part III | part IV has yet to come 

top gun masterlist

fake dating trope <3 start of a series (oops) also, wedding ofc 

reader has friends in this that i randomly named. i dont like going all y/f/n all the time but like feel free to change the names in your head. 

GOOSE IS ALIVE AND WELL I REPEAT GOOSE IS TOTALLY FINE I AM TOTALLY FINE WE ARE ALL OKAY AND ALIVE AND FINE 

oh also i realised halfway through this that its um. 1986. and not 2022. PLEASE DONT KILL ME LMAO theres smartphones in 1986 now. no one cares. accuracy is overrated. oh wait omg modern au’s exist right? THIS IS NOW OFFICIALLY A MODERN AU. because im stupid asf and cant get time right for the life of me 

btw literally no clue about navy or army or whatever terms. this may all be super wrong. and super inaccurate. again dont kill me pls 

i finished this thing at 1am as well so it derailed after a while, dont say i didnt warn you

“So you’re really gonna show up without a plus one after literally bitching about needing one?”, Iris asked, gesturing at you through the screen with a half-eaten donut in her hand. You groaned. 

“I have to”, you defended yourself, pressing your face further into your pillow. At this point it was a miracle she could still understand you. “Also, I wasn’t bitching about it.” 

She let out a laugh. 

“No, definitely not”, she said and rolled her eyes. “It’s fine, I know how Beth gets. You think she didn’t do the same to me? All ‘I suppose you’ll come alone, won’t you?’ - I mean, we haven’t seen her in a year, it makes sense she doesn’t know about Josh, but she doesn’t have to just assume we’re all single.”

You mumbled in agreement, a yawn slipping past your carefully built up facade of being perfectly awake. 

The different timezones made it pretty hard to keep up friendships. It was already hard enough, with you being stationed far from home most of the time and only being able to visit rarely, but the timezones were what really fucked it all up even more. It was half past two a.m. for you and barely eight in the evening for her. She had got off from work maybe two hours ago while you had been waiting for her to call since seven. 

“Sweetie, you need to sleep”, she said, shaking her head slightly, smile still on her lips. “I appreciate you staying up, but I bet you have to wake up at 5 again tomorrow and you need all the sleep you can get. And I’ve been waiting to take off this horrible peel-off mask for way too long now, literally, it is incinerating my skin.” 

You wanted to protest, but the way she fanned her face all dramatic and grimaced just made you laugh. 

“Alright, alright”, you gave in, rolling over onto your back and holding your phone up high in the air. “Just a minute longer and then I’ll let you peel off your face in peace.” 

She rolled her eyes, but the smile didn’t vanish, so you knew she wasn’t really mad at you for sacrificing your sleep. You watched the screen shake and the scenery change as she took her phone with her to the bathroom. 

“Tell me what to do”, you begged. “Please, Iris, please, I need your help. I have a week left to get a date to a wedding that I basically screamed I needed that plus one spot to, despite definitely not having anyone to fill that spot with. You���re great at stuff like this. Please help me out.” 

She set the phone down somewhere on the sink so that you could see her, her eyes focusing somewhere you guessed the mirror was. She had moved some time in February, when you’d already been stationed elsewhere, and so far you hadn’t had time off to go home and visit her. Or your parents, or anyone else for that matter. You loved your job, you did, but in some aspects it just sucked. 

“You really should have thought about this before”, she scolded, frowning, the mask starting to loosen on her nose and chin. You couldn’t help the grin that spread on your lips as she grimaced. 

“I know”, you sighed. 

“No, like, if you’d asked me right after you talked to Beth, I easily could’ve set you up with one of the guys here. But now? Felix literally started dating yesterday, so the only other single people I know that no one at the wedding knows too - which is really narrowing it down in general - are Lisa and Theo, and they’re both out of town. I mean, it’s the beginning of June, damn it! Everyone’s either sunbathing somewhere in Italy on some five-star vacation or going to the wedding. It’s not my fault Beth is such a show-off and invited literally everyone she’s met ever in her life.”

She paused and pulled on the mask, wincing at the pain. Only when she was half-way done and apparently also done with the list of curses she knew, she turned, leaned on the sink and stared at you through the screen, narrowing her eyes. 

If she hadn’t looked so hilarious, maybe she would’ve looked scary instead and you wouldn’t have started to giggle like a maniac. 

“Why don’t you ask one of your pilot colleagues to come?” 

You let out a laugh and squinted at your phone in the dark. Not that you hadn’t considered the option before - god, you’d gone through the whole list of single people you knew - but you’d time and time again shied away from the thought. 

Most of your ‘pilot colleagues’ kept their personal lives private, just like you. Sure, visiting day on base sometimes was an exception, but besides that you rarely saw or talked about each other’s loved ones. You knew Carole and Bradley well, that you did, but you’d been close with Goose and Mav for so long now that it’d be weird if you didn’t. For any of the others, you had no clue. You knew that most of them were single, just because of the unbelievably many hookups they all boasted about.

And that meant that you were less than fucking comfortable telling any of them about your little ‘plus one’ situation. 

“My fellow lieutenants, you mean”, you corrected. 

“Whatevs.” 

“And also no.”

Iris frowned and crossed her arms. You knew from experience that that wasn’t a good sign. 

“Why not?”, she asked and raised one eyebrow. This was a skill she posessed that you did not and which she had taken to using every time you did something she wasn’t approving of. You just sighed. Like usual.

“We don’t really talk about personal stuff”, you started, but she immediately grabbed her phone and held it so close to her face that you almost had a heart attack. 

“No”, she interrupted. “Don’t do that ‘Oh, we all are very professional’ shit with me. I don’t care. You shouldn’t care. I mean, just think about it: What’s more embarrassing, showing up to a wedding you explicity said you had a date for without a date or asking a colleague for a favour?”

You groaned and let your phone fall to your chest, obstructing Iris’ view as you massaged your forehead. She’d always been so pragmatic and logical. You both hated and loved her for it. 

“Iris”, you sighed and picked your phone back up. She was grinning, knowing she had at least broken down your defenses. “You don’t know what it’s like here. I don’t know if I want any of them to meet all the people I love. I’m really excited to see all of you again and I don’t want that to be ruined by being nervous and shy all evening.” 

“Shy?” Iris snorted. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you being shy.”

You stuck your tongue out at her. Her grin just widened. 

“Shut up.” 

“I’m just saying. And I mean, it makes sense! It does. You’re scared you’ll be too worried that someone will discover your scheme to enjoy catching up with us again. Or that that lieutenant or whatever is either gonna hate us or be hated by us.” 

You nodded, grateful that she wasn’t making fun of you. Not that you had expected her to - you wouldn’t be friends if you had. But the fact that she was actually, honestly trying to find some solution was heart-warming. You missed her, truly, and everyone else back home. Just texting and calling once a while wasn’t the same. 

“But, and don’t be mad at me for saying this -”, she went on, “- really how much will you be able to enjoy the evening when you know Beth’s gonna tell everyone you showed up without a plus one after specifically requesting it?” 

She looked sorry for even having to bring it up and you just groaned again. She was right, of course. Beth had that mean streak to her, she’d absolutely throw you under the bus. You’d definitely not have gone to her wedding if it hadn’t been the perfect opportunity to see your friends and family again. 

“I could just say I got dumped right before the wedding?”, you offered, already hating the idea. “I mean, everyone would pity me, but it’d be an explanation.” 

“Yeah, because that’s so much better”, Iris snorted. “Having everybody look down at you and expect you to cry and break like some fragile glass figurine.” 

“Fuck”, you sighed. “You’re right. I can already hear my mother - ‘You didn’t even tell us about him and now he broke your heart? Oh, honey, oh, darling, my sweet baby, I’m so sorry, are you sure you’re okay being at a wedding right now? Don’t you want to go home and just, you know, let it all out?’” 

Iris laughed at the very accurate impression of your mum. 

“See? So, why don’t you just ask one of those lieutenants? Like, I only get to see pics and I’m already drooling over them. I’d probably ditch Josh in a second. Don’t tell him I said that! But like. There has to be at least one guy easy enough on the eyes to have caught your attention. Just a little, teensy tinsy crush. C’mon. There has to be.” 

Your eyes drifted from the screen to the ceiling for just a moment, bottom lip caught in between your teeth and you had to think back to that volleyball game last week - you had been sunbathing, sunglasses high on your nose, making sure that none of the guys could see you as you watched them play with keen interest, the book in your lap long forgotten ever since they had decided to ditch their shirts. Then Mav had bailed. And Goose had come begging you to take over and maybe you’d have said no had Slider not started to call you a coward and a spoilsport. That way you had closed your book slowly, got up and stretched, shimmied out of the oversized shirt you’d thrown over your bikini and sauntered up to the net. And then you had absolutely thrashed them. Goose had just been following your orders after a while, whistling whenever you made an especially good throw. 

But you hadn’t even been playing as well as you should’ve. There’d been a reason after all that you had been wearing sunglasses the whole time, and it had not been the sun. 

Iris squealed and pulled you back to reality. 

“Oh my god, there is!”, she hollered. “There absolutely is! And you’re so, so into him, literally head over heels, that’s not even just a crush anymore!” 

You swatted at your phone, a lazy grin on your face despite the teasing. She only meant well, after all. You’d been just as excited and over-the-top when she’d first told you about Josh - who you yet had to meet. Also at the wedding. 

“What’s his name?”, she asked, eyes widened a little. “Or, rather, what’s his... uh, his nickname thingy?” 

“His callsign”, you laughed and paused for just a second to take in the gleefully anticipating look on her face. “It’s Ice. Well, Iceman.” 

Iris raised an eyebrow. 

“Iceman?”, she asked, almost disappointed. You snorted at her. 

“Yeah. He’s ‘ice-cold’, or at least he says so. You know Mav, you know how he’s kind of... how do I phrase that nicely... He’s a bit risky?” Iris grinned again and nodded. “Well, Ice is basically the complete opposite. He and Mav are not quite the bestest of friends. Mav doesn’t really care about the rules when he’s flying, so he gets in a ton of trouble, but he’s still really, really good. And Ice is also fucking amazing, and you know I don’t say that lightly. But Ice flies exactly like the navy wants him to, it’s like he’s got every manual memorised. And, well, it pays off.”

Iris raised her eyebrows. 

“Wow, you’re so done for. You just admitted that someone is better than you and then you also admitted that someone is better than Mav and Goose-” 

“Shut up!”, you laughed. “I did not say any of that, you’re putting words into my mouth!” 

“C’mon. You have to ask that Iceman to be your date for the wedding, and it doesn’t even have to be fake! Isn’t that perfect? You can just ask him out for real!” 

You narrowed your eyes at her and tried to look serious, but with her excited grin and her face mask still covering half of her face, you just couldn’t. 

“Iris, you know I don’t do that. And in general, the navy doesn’t like their employees dating.” 

“Doesn’t like, bullshit, I don’t buy that for a sec. Look, I know you don’t like to ask people out, so then just - don’t ask him out for real. Ask him to be your fake date, just for a weekend. As a favour. And I promise that it’s gonna be really fun and that I’ll grill him for information ‘til he admits he likes you too. And then you can thank me when he asks you out for real.” 

You rolled your eyes and kept silent for a moment, thinking her plan over in your mind. It wasn’t a bad one. Iris’ plans were never bad. Only ever a little optimistic, sometimes maybe a little reckless. You could remember a time when her plans had ended with you vomiting in her brother’s bathroom, drunk off your ass, senior year in high school. God, even that evening had been amazing, except for that vomiting part maybe. Her plans did always work out, if not as expected. 

“Okay”, you said quietly. She screeched and shook the phone in glee so hard that the screen froze. You laughed. “Okay! Gosh, don’t go all crazy on me. I’ll ask him. I just- Don’t get your hopes up. I’m not sure he’ll even agree. We aren’t that close, you know I usually hang out with Mav and Goose. And he probably has better things to do on his weekend.” 

She rolled her eyes. 

“He’ll say yes, trust me! If you fell for him, I already know he’s a gentleman, so I know he’ll say yes.” 

You couldn’t help but smile even as you rolled your eyes too. 

“Well, I told you, don’t get your hopes up. Now get that god-awful face mask off your skin! I swear you look like a fucking zombie. And I need to go to sleep. I barely have two hours left anymore and I’ve got a terribly long day ahead of me.”

“Alright, alright”, she laughed. “But keep me updated on that Iceman situation! Text me how it goes! And ask tomorrow, I swear if you don’t, I’ll personally fly over there and stab you while you’re sleeping.”

“See you, demon filled with bloodlust”, you snorted, waving at the screen. She air-kissed you with a grin. “I’m so excited to see you on Saturday! And tell Josh that I’m excited to meet him too and that I’ll cut his testicles off if he doesn’t end up being as lovable as you make him out to be.” 

“Okay, god!”, she giggled. “I’m excited to see you to! Now go to sleep. And go get that guy!”

“Bye”, you just chuckled, hanging up the phone. 

Your screen went black. The darkness felt heavy around you. You sighed. 

God, what mess had you got yourself into? Why had you even pushed Beth for that plus one in the first place? 

Because she was a bitch and you were petty, and that was that. You’d just have to pull yourself together and face Ice tomorrow. 

Absolutely exhausted, probably. Because even as you threw your phone onto the bedside table and snuggled into bed, you were sure that you wouldn’t get a single second of sleep tonight. 

...

When your alarm went off at exactly 5am, you knew that you’d been right. You really had not got a second of sleep. So you groaned and hit the snooze button, stretching lazily once and peeling yourself out of bed with a yawn. 

You’d need an ibuprofen, a hot drink, and a glass of water. 

It was 5:27 when you were putting on your shoes, 5:34 when you were starting the car. You had packed an extra pain killer just in case, another drink steaming in your thermos and your breakfast packed in a lunchbox. That was another horrible, horrible aspect about waking up early: there was no Starbucks open, no bakery, no cafe. So it was plain toast every morning, lunch from a vending machine and - at least - decent dinner, mainly in some diner or restaurant with the rest of the pilots. 

“Another wonderful day in paradise”, you said to yourself, hands and forehead resting on the steering wheel after you had pulled into the parking lot at the base. You were living in a navy-owned apartment a few blocks away, luckily, which you’d thought more than once already. 

Someone knocked on your window. 

You flinched so hard you almost threw your back out. 

When you looked up, you could see Goose laughing so hard that he was crying, bending over, one arm against the top of your car as he cackled. You rolled your eyes and opened the door, shoving it right into his chest. He stumbled back, still laughing at you. 

“Asshat”, you muttered, reaching for your thermos and your lunchbox before closing the door again and locking the car. Without looking back at Goose even once, you walked up to the compound, listening to his footsteps quicken when he’d finally calmed down a bit and caught up with you. 

“Didn’t know you were a scaredy cat, Hera”, he teased, nudging your side with an elbow. You scoffed at him. 

“Only when I feel like I’m gonna be mutilated or skinned”, you said drily. 

“Oh, but a murderer wouldn’t knock.” 

You turned, keeping on walking, backwards this time, and raised your eyebrows. 

“When did you get here, Maverick? Like, c’mon, what’s today supposed to be, national dick day? Because I’m not particularly keen on participating.” 

You turned back around as Mav jogged to catch up with you and Goose, high-fiving as you rolled your eyes, even though a grin was already tugging at your lips. God, how you loved them. If your family and friends hadn’t already met them and you weren’t constantly questioned about how they were and who they were with, you would’ve gladly taken one of them to Beth’s wedding. 

“Last time I checked, national dick day was in winter”, Goose said, skipping ahead to hold open the door for you. “You know, cuz it’s cold and all the ladies need a good warming up?” 

You just rolled your eyes again and ignored him, spared of an answer as a familiar voice came from inside. 

“Certainly not by you though, Goose.” 

Ice was leaning against the wall, one knee bent, lazily grinning as Slider next to him let out a laugh. It wasn’t unusual for the two of them to be here earlier than you, but normally they didn’t waste any time standing around in the hallway. 

“Iceman”, Goose said, all of you coming to a halt to stare at them. Or, stare them down, in Mav’s case. “With a callsign like that, I see you don’t celebrate this particular holiday then.” 

You snorted even though you didn’t mean to - you never did, but you couldn’t help yourself, not when they were all so ridiculous - Ice’s attention snapping over to you. His stare was always intense, somehow, you didn’t know how he did it. When he looked at you, you just had to look back, there simply wasn’t any other way. 

“I need to talk to you”, you blurted out, their dumb little conversation suddenly even less interesting and even less important than before. If you wanted to ask Ice to be your fake-date to the wedding, you’d need to ask now, otherwise you’d never have the heart to do it. And you had to ask, you’d promised Iris. Hell, you’d promised yourself. 

Ice raised his eyebrows. 

“I do. I need to talk to you.” You checked the time. “We’re like ten minutes early anyway, so no harm done.” 

“Be careful he doesn’t freeze your boobs right off”, Goose joked, grin vanishing as you gave him the death stare. This was weird enough already, no need to throw your boobs into the mix. He raised his hands in defense. “Too much, get it, too much.” 

“Let’s go, Goose”, Mav laughed quietly, grabbing him by the arm and dragging him down the hallway and into the building. Slider went as well, grin planted on his lips. 

Ice chuckled, barely looking disturbed. You’d have apologised to him had he not been very familiar with Mav and Goose’s antics already, but since he was, you didn’t. 

“So you need to talk to me?”, he asked, raising his eyebrows, your nerves running rampant. The last time you had been this shy was a good while ago and you didn’t particularly care ever feeling like it again, but here you were, just because you needed to ask a favour of him. Well, a little more than that, with a small ulterior motive, but only you knew that, so it was fine. 

“Yeah”, you agreed. “Yeah. Right.” 

You took a deep breath and focused on the wall next to his head rather than on him, for personal confidence reasons, his eyes still practically burning holes as he looked at you. It was just one date. One fake date. No need to freak out. Just ask him, now or never. 

“It’s nothing bad, or like, anything weird- or well, maybe it is a bit weird. So I, for context, kind of am going back home next weekend for a wedding and I may have said I had a plus one when I didn’t have one - but you gotta know, Beth, the bride, she asked in this really shady way, like she already knew I had no one to bring? She does that to everyone so I may have got a bit defensive and a bit hasty and told her I absolutely would bring someone, but that it was a surprise because no one knew aboout me dating yet. Which is always a good excuse, with me being stationed so far away and all. And anyway, now I don’t have a plus one to show up with and the wedding’s in a week so my friend Iris can’t find me a date either - wow, that sounds horrible, god - but I was just wondering, I know we usually keep work and personal life separate, but I really, really need someone my family doesn’t know to do me a huge favour and pretend to be dating me for a weekend. And you’re kind of one of the only people who, well, fit that description, so I wanted to ask you.” 

You could’ve kept going but you decided you had embarrassed yourself enough today, so you leaned back against the opposite wall and exhaled shakily. Ice didn’t say anything for a while. 

You’d known this was a bad idea. You had rambled and completely made a fool of yourself on top of asking a really inappropriate thing and now he’d hate you and never want to talk to you again. Oh, god. 

When you finally found the courage to look up at him, he was smirking. There was just no other way to describe it. And he was still focused on you like that, eyes practically boring into yours. 

“Just to be clear here, you’re asking me to be your plus one for a wedding in your hometown.” 

“Well, fake plus one.” 

He grinned then and some kind of invisible weight fell off your shoulders.

“Fake-date you for a weekend”, he clarified. You nodded. His eyes raked over your face, like he was searching for something, something he couldn’t seem to find. For a second, you wondered why his gaze had something fiery in it. You only knew Ice, well, ice-cold, like you’d told Iris barely three hours before. Then you remembered how he looked at Maverick and that he was, in fact, as ice-cold and that you were probably just reading into it too much. 

Because he, once again, hadn’t said anything and didn’t look like he would soon, you cleared your throat. 

“So, are you in or not?” 

[qedart]

Time Warp AU - #12

I got this little scene stuck in my head and had to get it out before moving on to anything with a bit more plot. Just the boys actually behaving like normal teenagers for once (well, perhaps with a dash more danger than most teens go for) and pestering Ice for permission to get motorcycle licences (they assume Mav’s a shoe-in. They are mistaken. He’s by far the more hesitant of the two of them). 

It’s an opportunity for both Ice and Tom to flex their negotiation muscles. By the end of talks they’ve got a written agreement (signed by all parties and witnessed by an utterly bemused Cyclone) outlining that: 

Thomas Lev Kazansky (II) (hereinafter referred to as TK) and Pete Michael Mitchell (II) (hereinafter referred to as PM) will receive permission and blessing to get motorcycle permits/licences under the condition that: 

California Relevant state road rules will be abided by. 

Permit limitations will be followed until PM and TK are eligible for licence upgrade

Protective gear (read: helmet, gloves, jacket, boots as a minimum) to be worn at all times (Addition: Cpt Pete ‘Maverick’ Mitchell (I) will provide a good example by wearing a helmet and gloves at a bare minimum going forward). 

Motorcycles will be roadworthy upon purchase. (Note: PM’s confidence in his abilities to make them so will not suffice.)

Motorcycles will be appropriately maintained (with quarterly check-ups conducted by Cpt Pete ‘Maverick’ Mitchell (I) for the first 12 months or until satisfied with PM and TK’s skillset to carry on solo). 

Before first solo ride/s - PM and TK are to accompany Cpt Pete ‘Maverick’ Mitchell (I)  and Admiral Thomas ‘Iceman’ Kazansky on no less than six group rides to build up seat time and skillset in various conditions. 

Any accidents, minor or major, that occur will be reported to Cpt Pete ‘Maverick’ Mitchell (I)  and Admiral Thomas ‘Iceman’ Kazansky  (note: i: Cpt Pete ‘Maverick’ Mitchell (I)  and Admiral Thomas ‘Iceman’ Kazansky  acknowledge that accidents happen and are often a part of learning and promise not to overreact in the case of an honest mistake. ii: PM and TK agree that further instruction will be provided and accepted with minimal protest to avoid future accidents). 

…

It goes on for about 5 pages. (If the fighter-pilot thing doesn’t work out, Tom’s got a very bright future in law and/or politics it would seem). 

In other news, waaaay more research into California road law went into the background of this comic than was really necessary. (I would have had my bike soooooo many years earlier if I was born american 😭)

[why-i-love-comics]

Astonishing Iceman #2 - "Out Cold II" (2023)

written by Steve Orlando art by Vincenzo Carratu & Java Tartaglia

[call-sign-shark]

|| SHARK'S MASTERLIST ||

caption: 🔥Smut || 🔪 Angst || 💫 Fluff

SERIES

FROM HELL: A top gun! secret agents AU. The reader is a former assassin Pete Mitchell had thrown in jail after she tried to kill him. Years have passed and they are forced to work together for a mission.

♢ Demon in a Bottle : Pete learns the awful news. 🔪

♢ Good Boys go to Hell : Reader and Pete confront each other for the first time since he threw her to prison. Attraction happens. 🔪

♢ Joke's on You : Reader drives Pete crazy, but he's ready to show her who makes the rules now 🔥

ONE-SHOTS

♢ Bring Me a Dream 💫

♢ Might as Well Face It 🔥

♢ Daddy's Bad Kitten 🔥

♢ The Devil Doesn’t Bargain 🔪 💫

BLURBS/DRABBLES

♢ You are sick during a briefing and Maverick notices it 💫

SERIES

ANGEL IN : 3 part series of Jake being your guardian angel, and Bob always popping in the most important moments of your relationships.

♢ Angel in Disguise 💫

♢ Angel in Distress 💫

♢ Angel in Panic 💫

FORGET ME NOT: Y/N spends her summer working at her Aunt’s flower shop. There, she meets Jake Seresin, naval pilot and single dad.  — Or how a flower girl will try to heal a broken heart beyond repair. (Nickname: Poppy) 

♢ Chapter 1 || Myosotis 💫

♢ Chapter 2 || Red Carnations 💫

♢ Chapter 3 || Lily of the Valley

ONE-SHOTS

♢ New Year's Eve II Part 1 II Part 2 💫

♢ For a Bottle of Shampoo 🔥

♢ Fuck Me or Fuck Off 🔥

♢ It's Not the Plane, It's the Pilot 💫 🔪

♢ Superbia 🔥

♢ The Shape of Water 💫 (Verse’s Masterlist)

BLURB / DRABBLES

♢ Pillows and Caterpillars 💫

♢ Watcha Making? 💫

♢ Books and Sheep 💫

SERIES

ONE-SHOTS

♢ Bleeding Knuckles 💫

♢ The Rooster's Crowing 🔥

Robert Bob Floyd

♢ For His Queen's Pleasure 🔥

♢ Love and Thunder 💫

Dagger Squad, Dad!Mav and Reader

♢ Ohana Means Family 💫

TOP GUN 86

♢ The Way Home 💫 (Goose x reader)

♢ Take My Breath Away 💫 (Iceman x reader)

ONE-SHOTS

♢ Sacrilège

TGM OC and a recurring character in my fanfictions. She's often the reader's best friend and partner in crimes. She's a former SEAL sniper who had changed her career path in order to become a naval pilot.

SHARK'S BIO:

♢ Playlist (chaos and violence yeeeessss)

♢ read the short version

MOODBOARD:

♢ Moodboard

MAVERICK X SHARK:

♢ Cute Little Thing 💫

SHARK'S ART:

♢ Shark and Mav, stolen kisses. || Shark portrait || Doodle 1#

[bifrostyy]

Joe Manganiello as WOLVERINE

Zac Efron as CYCLOPS

KJ Apa as JEAN GREY

Yahya Abdul-Mateen II as STORM

Gregg Sulkin as ICEMAN

Ben Hardy as ANGEL

[kollectorsrus]

[ilikestuff69]

My X-Men Fancast

Charles Xavier played by Mark Strong

Erik Lehnsherr/Magneto played by Jason Isaacs

Scott Summers/Cyclops played by Mason Gooding

Jean Grey/Phoenix played by Katherine McNamara

Bobby Drake/Iceman played by Gabriel LaBelle

Warren Worthington/Angel played by Ross Lynch

Logan/Wolverine played by Tom Hardy or Taron Egerton

Ororo Munroe/Storm played by Aja Naomi King

Hank McCoy/Beast played by Tyler Hoechlin

Raven Darkhölme/Mystique played by Claudia Doumit

Anna Marie/Rogue played by Keke Palmer

Remy LeBeau played by Dacre Montgomery

Kathrine Pryde/Shadowcat played by Isabelle Fuhrman

Piotr Rasputin/Colossus played by Alexander Ludwig

Kurt Wagner/Nightcrawler played by Mena Massoud

Lorna Dane/Polaris played by Thomasin McKenzie

Sean Cassidy/Banshee played by Paul Mescal

Alex Summers/Havok played by Kelvin Harrison Jr.

Emma Frost played by Jodie Comer

Jubilation Lee/Jubilee played by Madison Hu

Betsy Braddock/Psylocke played by Jessica Henwick

Victor Creed/Sabretooth played by Alan Ritchson

Lucas Bishop played by Yahya Abdul-Mateen II

Armando Muñoz/Darwin played by Jacob Anderson

St. John Allerdyce/Pyro played by Jacob Bertrand

James Madrox/Multiple Man played by Glen Powell

Clarice Ferguson/Blink played by Lyrica Okano

Alison Blaire/Dazzler played by Madison Iseman

Bobby du Costa/Sunspot played by Rome Flynn

Tabitha Smith/Boom-Boom played by Victoria Pedretti

Mortimer Toynbee/Toad played by Levi Miller

ForgetMeNot played by Brett Gelman

Glob Herman played by Tyler Labine

Bailey Hoskins played by Mason Thames

[the-authoress-writes]

Family

(AKA some of my Tom “Iceman” Kazansky headcanons)

Warnings: Tom “Iceman” Kazansky’s father’s A+ parenting (not), mentions of cancer.

Author’s Note: This was instigated by @callsign-skydancer, after she sent me a very insightful message, and I just had to go with it, until, voilà, I churned this out in an hour and a half.

I’ve had these headcanons for a while now, but it’s because of Sky that I decided to get them down.

I’ll be using these in some later stories, so if you see some copy-pasting, you didn’t see anything, self-plagiarism doesn’t count, 😂.

I have no idea if this makes any sense, I wrote this in what I feel is a weird tense, but I have to get this out of my head, so I can finish “Wherever You Go”.

Enough of the Authoress talking, here we go!

Family has a great deal of meaning for Thomas Kazansky.

It affects and has affected him in more ways than one, and it continues to influence and shape him.

It was why he joined the Navy.

Most people assume that his father was Navy, because they hear higher-ranking officers whisper “He’s related to Kazansky” or things like that, but they’d be wrong.

His father was not Navy.

His father is Dr. Vasily Kazansky, a prominent Honolulu cardiologist, who detests all things military, who wanted nothing but for Tom to follow in his footsteps, demanding utmost academic excellence in preparation for medical school, creating a habit drilled into him that carried over into Tom’s service.

His grandfather, however, was Captain Sergei Kazansky, a highly decorated US Navy officer who served during World War II.

As a child, during visits to his Dedushka Sergei and Babusya Anya, young Thomas could be found in his grandfather’s arms, listening wide-eyed to Sergei’s stories of his time in the Navy.

It was Sergei Kazansky who instilled in Tom a love of country, and the desire to serve.

Tom’s decision to join the Navy and attend Annapolis was what drove a final wedge between Tom and his father, who detested the military for taking his father, Sergei, from him, in more ways than one, both physically, and emotionally, Sergei not knowing back then how to handle his trauma.

It was his grandfather who pinned the Lieutenant Junior Grade bars on his uniform, and Tom will never admit it, but he had tears in his eyes when Sergei embraced him and whispered in his ear, “Я так горжусь тобой, Томас,” words his own father never said to him.

It broke his heart when Sergei died of lung cancer three months before he was slated to attend TOPGUN.

But his memories and the lessons his Dedushka taught him would stay with him forever.

Most people would never assume that Tom “Iceman” Kazansky would have an artistic bone in his body, but they would be absolutely wrong.

One of Tom’s best kept secrets was that he is a very accomplished pianist.

He was taught by his mother, Yelena, how to play the piano, and music ran in her family, her own father, Oleg, having been a violinist with the USSR State Symphony Orchestra, before his defection to America.

Tom’s fondest memories of his mother are of afternoons spent with Yelena teaching him to play the piano, after dragging him from his homework, which enabled him to play Chopin at twelve, followed by the two of them listening to recordings of classical music, some of them featuring his grandfather Oleg’s playing, his father’s long hours at work enabling this time away from studying without censure.

One of his most prized possessions is a vinyl record which he inherited from his mother, of Shostakovich’s “Leningrad Symphony”, where his grandfather Oleg can be heard playing second chair violin.

In general, Tom’s favorite pieces to play are Chopin, but depending on his mood, what he plays varies.

When he’s at his most neurotic, Bach comes easier, the precision required to play those pieces giving his mind something to fixate on.

When he’s upset or angry, he hammers away at Scriabin, and some pieces of Rachmaninov, like “Prelude in G Minor (Op. 23 No. 5)” and “Prelude in C Sharp Minor (Op. 3 No. 2)” and Beethoven’s “Piano Sonata No. 8 in C Minor (Pathétique)”.

When he’s feeling a little drifty, he goes for Satie and Debussy, or “The Lark” by Glinka and Balakirev.

When he’s happy, Chopin’s “Heroic” polonaise is a must.

When he’s lonely, Chopin’s “Nocturne No. 20 in C Sharp Minor (Posthumous)” is a standby, because of how it reminds him there’s always light at the end of the tunnel.

He’s proud to say he can play his dream piece from his early high school years, Liszt’s transcription of “La Campanella”, though he still thinks he can get it just a little bit faster.

His most recent dream pieces are Rachmaninov’s “Piano Concerto No. 2”, and Liszt’s “Rondo Fantastique (El Contrabandista)”.

It’s because of him that Bradley is as good a pianist as he is, having been the Baby Goose’s teacher on the instrument.

He wishes Bradley would show off the classical pieces he knows more than his rendition—great as it is—of “Great Balls of Fire”.

Family has shaped Thomas Kazansky for better and for worse—there are still days he can hear his father telling him an A- wasn’t going to get him into any half decent Ivy League, or that he had to try harder, that his best needed to be better, and those are the days he plays Bach, or Scriabin, Rachmaninov, and Beethoven—but it was also what made him who he was, what led him to what he loves doing, and what led him to the family he chose.

Taglist

@valmare

@callsign-skydancer

@permanentlyexhaustedpigeon88

@tadomikiku

If you’d like to join my taglist, just send me an ask!

[cinnamon-ginger]

Minor Arcana for my X-Men/Mutant Tarot Deck

Wands:

King: Charles Xavier

Queen: Abigail Brand, Betsy Braddock

Knight: Deadpool

Page: Hope Summers

Ace:

II:

III: Angel

IV: X-Mansion

V: Stepford Cuckoos

VI:

VII:

VIII: Quicksilver

IX: Silhouette

X:

Cups:

King: Magneto

Queen:

Knight: Iceman

Page: Shogo

Ace: Meggan

II:

III: Jubilee

IV:

V:

VI: Honeybadger

VII:

VIII: Daken

IX: Gwen Poole

X: Cyclops, Jean Grey’s Wedding

Swords:

King: Beast

Queen: Mystique, Abigail Brand

Knight: Sabertooth

Page: Pixie

Ace: Blindfold

II:

III: M-Day

IV: Dust

V:

VI: Catseye, Wolfsbane

VII: Mystique

VIII:

IX: Shadow King

X: Phoenix, Genosha, Utopia

Coins:

King: Sebastian Shaw

Queen: Emma Frost

Knight: Warpath

Page:

Ace: Dazzler

II: Oya

III: Danger Room

IV:

V:

VI:

VII: Ursa Major

VIII: Forge, Prodigy

IX: Sunspot

X: Cannonball

Note: The bold ones are the ones I really like and the regular ones are the ones I’m just thinking about. I can also elaborate on why I chose certain ones as well.

Thoughts or Suggestions?

[woodaba]

We Wouldn't Have Alan Wake II Without Quantum Break

Remember Quantum Break? The first game announced for the Xbox One? The link between cult classic Alan Wake and surprising studio-saving hit Control? That prominently features Lance Reddick, the much-missed actor who was frequently one of the most electric screen presences of our time?

Don't worry, I barely do either, and I played the game yesterday.

So, a refresher. Quantum Break, announced in 2013 alongside the Xbox One and released three years later, is a third-person shooter starring Shawn Ashmore aka Iceman from the X-Men movies as Jack Joyce (and not Jake Joyce as I constantly remembered him as. In my defense, it's a better name, if only because then his superhero name could be Quantum Jake...), who, after being turned into A Remedy Entertainment Protagonist after a time-travel experiment gone wrong, battles against fellow Remedy Entertainment Protagonist Aidan Gillen aka Doctor Pavel I'm CIA as Paul Serene, over what to do about an imminent apocalypse after Time starts Breaking because of the aforementioned time-travel experiment.

As a rehabilitating former Doctor Who obsessive, I'm particularly open to this kind of time-travel nonsense, but Quantum Break is frustratingly unwilling to capitalize on its own premise. Interesting things happen, sure: people get stuck in causality loops, confront and become acausal time monsters, and live entire second lives in the past after time-traveling, but almost none of it occurs to Jack Joyce: he just spends his time just shooting guys in a series of warehouses and offices. Quantum Break is a potentially interesting story that we don't really get to see anything of, instead anything compelling in the narrative is relayed to us second-hand, by the myriad emails and documents scattered throughout the gunfights, or over the radio, and, of course, Remedy's now-signature multimedia ambitions.

In between acts of the video game Quantum Break, you'll be treated to episodes of the TV show Quantum Break, a live-action c-tier circa-2009 network TV production starring some of the big(ish) names that headline the game Quantum Break, but mostly follows a cast of extras who navigate around the events of the game while working for baddie Paul Serene's Evil Corporation, Monarch.

It's in the TV show that what Quantum Break actually is begins to take shape. Remedy, as a studio, has always been interested - and unusually adept at - pastiche, whether it's the noir comic stylings of their still-astonishing Max Payne duology or the rickety but deeply charming Stephen King love-in that is Alan Wake. And here, they do a genuinely stellar job at replicating the look, feel, and sensibilities of a 2008-2013 network TV Lost/Fringe rip-off that gets canceled after one season.

That may sound backhanded, but I assure you it isn't. I've long been a fan of Remedy, in spite of, or perhaps because I don't think they've made a truly great game since Max Payne 2. In a medium that often pillages relentlessly from Film and TV, Remedy set themselves apart from their competition with the depth of their understanding of the production of film, bringing into games a deftness of set construction and filmic pacing that blows their contemporaries out of the water. Even more-lauded names like Naughty Dog and Rockstar come up short against Alan Wake's hauntingly gorgeous misty woods, best illustrated with Rockstar's Max Payne 3, which matched Remedy's cinematographical flair in the cutscenes, but fell far short of their level design chops and breadth of influences.

Quantum Break is, in aesthetics and production, a genuinely extremely well-considered pastiche of this period of sci-fi television that is now comfortably in the rear-view mirror, the time since its release having given it a real nostalgic charm that would have been dulled at the time of release. It really reminded me of the years I spent watching shows like Heroes, or Flash/Forward, shows that may not have been very good, but are intoxicatingly emblematic of their time and place, hiding just beneath the floorboards of the shows that would actually get to be remembered.

It's a shame, then, that it just fails to really compel on any level beyond appreciation for the pastiche.

Much like the gameplay, the TV episodes of Quantum Break feel almost ancillary to another, better story that we never get to see. The stars of the game feel wasted here - particularly Lance Reddick, one of my favorite actors, who steals the show every time he appears, but is given vanishingly little to do in comparison with a group of wafer-thin characters that struggle to manifest a single dimension, with relational at best connection to the concerns of the narrative. It looks like a particularly budget-strapped episode of Warehouse 13, sure, but it doesn't really feel like one, as the episodes - until the last one, which is a noticeable improvement - are shockingly paceless and devoid of the arcs that would make a singular episode of television compelling. They are, ultimately, primarily dreary, overlong, and constantly highlighting the fact that they are largely interstitial filler.

It would be wrong to accuse Remedy of not having their heart in Quantum Break, as there is too much evident passion to discount, but I do feel like they struggle to find a core to this idea, something that they truly want to explore. Whether I'm playing the game or watching the show, QB leaves everything on the surface, with nothing to really find beneath the surface. It's notable that the game is absolutely filled with constant allusions to Alan Wake - including a full-blown trailer found on a TV moments after starting the game that bears startling resemblance to the eventual plot of this year's Alan Wake II - and that the game started life as a pitch to Microsoft for Alan Wake II: one suspects that they would much rather be making that game at this moment in time than Quantum Break, or that the game is a test-bed of ideas for the studio's future, the act of throwing a thousand darts at a quantum dartboard, and seeing which ones find their mark. It's just that for this effort, precious few of them do.

And yet, the surprise is that by the end, I truly felt like Remedy was genuinely onto something with the spirit of Quantum Break's ideas, if not the execution of them. The television show is the thing that makes Quantum Break live, that marks it out as something worth remembering in a sea of slick third-person shooters with cinematic ambitions. It is the icon of the foundational belief of the Xbox One, that the future of games lay in a synthesis with television, a dead-end future that had already worn out by the time the game was actually released. What remains is little more than a gimmick, sure, but it is one that, by the end, is oddly compelling, even if most of it is terrifically boring to actually experience.

There is a genuine thrill to seeing characters in both video game graphics and live-action forms, shifting between the two seamlessly thanks to some genuinely well-realized digitized actors that still look good today, a shift that blends well with the time-space bending of the plot. Do I care about Jack Joyce, as a person? Not even slightly. Did I still grin when I saw Actual Shawn Ashmore briefly appear in the TV episodes after controlling Virtual Shawn Ashmore? Absolutely. It's the same kind of shallow thrill you get from Cheers allumni showing up for a visit in Frasier, or when the Torchwood crew talk around the presence of Mr. Doctor Who, Esq, but as something that works with what the game is doing rather than distracting your attention elsewhere.

The gameplay portions represent time breaking down with (genuinely cool, if shallow) shards of space and glass and stuttering loops of physical time, but the collision of the Real and the Virtual feels so much more effective in communicating the idea of time and space shattering and colliding into one another. I just wish it played in this space more, focusing on Ashmore, Reddick, Monaghan, and Hope, rather than the cast of goons and extras who feel wholly separated from the game until the final mission.

I'd like to say that I'd love Remedy to take another crack at this idea, with the lessons they've learned from Control and Alan Wake II, but that already feels like a fool's hope. The ballooning costs of video game development make the idea of filming an entire TV mini-series alongside it feel laughable. Sure, Control's live-action segments were plentiful and superbly produced, but they were also far more restrained than Quantum Break, focusing on short segments with one non-big-name actor each in a couple of highly reusable sets. With both this and its open-world, side-questing structure with plenty of loot and upgrades to collect, Control is something largely in line with the realities and productions of modern game development

Quantum Break isn't rooted in reality for even a second. It's a time-locked instant, the most 2015 game ever made, which makes it all the better that it came out in 2016. There's no future in what Quantum Break envisions. It's a failed experiment, something to shrug at and move on. And yet, it compels me regardless, despite the fact that I don't really like it.

We need games like this, I feel. Historical curios like this show that the shifting landscape of the medium isn't a straight line, it splits off into splintered fraying timelines, some leading to nothing, but others spilling back in unexpected ways. After all, Courtney Hope, who played Beth Wilder here, returned for the starring role in Control, and that game feels so keenly like the product of lessons learned from QB, with everything from the live-action segments, the document-reading, and the combat feeling like a progression from Remedy's previous work. In particular, my complaints about QB's narrative taking place almost entirely off-screen evolves into a hugely compelling aspect of Control, with the genuine highlight of that game being reading the endless documents detailing the horrors and nightmares of America transcribed into corporate mundanity.

And while I've only played a taster of Alan Wake II, there's no doubt in my mind that that game, a bona-fide critical darling the likes of which Remedy hasn't had since Max Payne 2, owes a great debt to QB. Not least because its engine provides the framework for the game, but also because, well, it's been in there, this whole time.

Waiting for The Return.

[jewish-ship-showdown]

Ships that have already qualified (read before submitting):

Jude Lizowski/Jonesy Garcia

Tyler Kennedy "TK" Strand/Carlos Reyes

Peter Parker (Spider-Man)/Gwen Stacey

Willow Rosenberg/Winifred "Fred" Burkle

Francine Frensky/Muffy Crosswire

Susan Ivanova/Marcus Cole

Kate Kane (Batwoman)/Renee Montoya

Barry B. Benson/Vanessa Bloome

Jake Peralta/Amy Santiago

Willow Rosenberg/Tara Maclay

Jack Zimmermann/Eric "Bitty" Bittle

Justin "Ransom" Oluransi/Adam "Holster" Birkholtz

Danny/Reuven

Larissa "Lara" Bogdan/Jasmine

Kelsey Pokly/Isabella "Stacks" Alvarado

Rebecca Bunch/Audra Levine

Rebecca Bunch/Greg Serrano

Rebecca Bunch/Nathaniel Plimpton

Samantha "Sam" Manson/Danniel "Danny" Fenton

Bruce Wayne (Batman)/Selina Kyla (Catwoman)

Bruce Wayne (Batman)/Clark Kent (Superman)

Clark Kent (Superman)/Lois Lane

Harley Quinn/Pamela Isley (Poison Ivy)

Barney Guttman/Logan Nguyen

Leah/Chanan

Shay Goldstein/Dominic Yun

Marvin/Whizzer

Trina/Mendel Weisenbachfeld

Perchik/Hodel

Tzeitel/Motel

Monica Gellar/Chandler Bing

Molly McGee/Libby Stein Torres

Rachel Berry/Noah Puckerman

Fiddleford McGucket/Stanford Pines

Cristina Yang/Owen Hunt

Cristina Yang/Preston Burke

Levi Schmidt/Nico Kim

Rose Lalonde/Kanaya Maryam

James Wilson/Gregory House

The Baker and/The Baker's Wife

Kim Possible/Ron Stoppable

The Jewish People/The Shabbat Bride

Alec Hardison/Parker

Max Eisenhardt (Magneto)/Charles Xavier (Professor X)

Steve Rogers (Captain America)/James "Bucky" Barnes

Arnold "Arnie" Roth/Michael Bech

Arnold "Arnie" Roth/Steve Rogers (Captain America)

Billy Kaplan (Wiccan)/Teddy Altman (Hulkling)

Bobby Drake (Iceman)/Hank McCoy (Beast)

Bobby Drake (Iceman)/Johnny Storm (The Human Torch)

Layla El Faouly/Mark Spector (Moon Knight)

Matthew Hawk (Two-Gun Kid II)/Clint Barton (Hawkeye)

Peter Parker (Spider-Man)/Betty Brant

Peter Parker (Spider-Man)/Eugene "Flash" Thompson

Peter Parker (Spider-Man)/ Felicia Hardy

Peter Parker (Spider-Man)/ Harry Osborn

Peter Parker (Spider-Man)/Katherine Anne "Kitty" Pryde

Peter Parker (Spider-Man)/Mary Jane "MJ" Watson

Peter Parker (Spider-Man)/Wade Wilson (Deadpool)

Steve Rogers/Bernadette "Bernie" Rosenthal

Wanda Maximoff/The Vision

Midge Maisel/Susie Myerson

Hal Emmerich (Otacon)/Solid Snake

Casey Goldberg-Calderon/Lunella Lafayette

Fran Fine/Max Sheffield

Ben Gross/Devi Vishwakumar

Winston Schmidt/Cece Parekh

David Jacobs/Jack Kelly

Seth Cohen/Summer Roberts

Scout Touzani/Elias Wyrick

KJ Brandman/Mac Coyle

Lavinia Asimov/Poison Oak

Phineas Flynn/Isabella Garcia-Shapiro

Anon's Mom/Dad

The person reading this & their partner

Jerry Seinfeld/Cosmo Kramer

Simon Lewis/Isabel Lightwood

Danielle/Maya

Bram Greenfeld/Simon Spier

Miryem Mandelstam/The Staryk King

David Rose/Patrick Brewer

James T Kirk/S'chn T'gai Spock

Worf Rozhenko/Jadzia Dax

Kanan Jarrus/Hera Syndulla

Brian Jeeter/Krejjh

Bobby Singer/Rufus Turner

Jonah Simms/Amy Sosa

Reish Lakish/Rabbi Yochanen

King David/Yonatan

Devorah/Barak

Moses/Tzipporah

Ruth/Naomi

Yaakov/The Angel

Rowan Roth/Neil Mcnair

Klaus Hargreeves/Dave Katz

Cecil Palmer/Carlos The Scientist

Josh Lyman/Donna Moss

Little Ash/Uriel

Lucille "Lucy" Kensington/Dr. Edison "Ed" Tucker

Fox Mulder/Dana Scully

Anshel/Avigdor

Alec Hardison/Parker/Eliot Spencer

Wanda Maximoff (The Scarlet Witch)/Jericho Drumm

Bruce Wayne (Batman)/Shondra Kinsolving

Bruce Wayne (Batman)/Talia Al Ghul

Ben Grimm (The Thing)/Alicia Masters

Velma Dinkley/Daphne Blake

Velma Dinkley/Marcie Fleach

Didi Pickles/Stu Pickles

Velma Dinkley/Coco Diablo

Babushka (Tatiana)/Dedushka (Ivan)

Kitty Pryde/Illyana Rasputin

Natasha Romanoff/Wanda Maximoff

Marc Spector (Moon Knight)/Clint Barton (Hawkeye)

Hillel/Shammai

S'chn T'gai Spock/James T Kirk/Dr. Leonard "Bones" McCoy

S'chn T'gai Spock/Dr. Leonard "Bones" McCoy

Frankie Bergstein/Grace Hanson

Annie Edison/Jeff Winger

Maxine Myers/Paula Cohen

Baby Houseman/Johnny Castle

Tevye/Golde

Michael "Mike" Wazowski/Celia Mae

Talmudic couple having gay sex in the attic

Tim Drake/Kon El (Conner Kent)

Violet Baudelaire/Quigley Quagmire

Reuben Kent/Feliks Kaufmann

Anshel/Avigdor/Hadass

Amram/Zelikman

Anshel/Hadass

SUBMISSIONS ARE OPEN UNTIL MAY 8, 2023 @ 12:00 AM EDT