#ic:sengo

[kowaindar0u]

[ with @nxmelessfighter ]

After two miserable years in captivity, Sengo is finally free.

Well...

It hasn't been quite that simple. But he's choosing to push that deep, deep down inside for the time being, because right now... He's walking!

Or... stumbling, really, like a newborn calf.

His strong, powerful tail, which made him agile as could be in the water, had instead split into these two clumsy legs in a process he could only describe as agonizing.

It would be a bit embarrassing, the reactions garnered from the few people out at this time, surely put off by his strange and struggling manner of movement (and definitely not by his sheer lack of clothing)-- but he's far too busy staring in wonder at everything around him.

So many of the buildings are dark, and their doors don't open when he tries to pull at their handles. But then he sees one with light coming from inside-- he spots the word 'pharmacy' which he can more or less infer the meaning of-- and excitedly rushes to the doors, using the wall for support... He pulls, and it opens!

Excited and almost overwhelmed by this new discovery, he clambers inside, wide ochre eyes darting back and forth across everything.

Shelves, boxes, bottles, bags, lights... So much! Oh, is that... food? He moves toward this aisle, haphazardly using shelves as a guide along the way, knocking off items with mumblings of "oops...! oh dear..."

There is a particularly shiny metallic bag that catches his eye, with 'chips' printed on it near the bottom... He doesn't know what they are, but if they're in such a pretty bag, they must be delicious, right?

He grabs the bag and haphazardly rips it open, half the bag's contents flying out and to the ground, and starts munching.

"Oh? Yummy...!"

[kowaindar0u]

To a certain point, Sengo isn't sure which fills him with more ecstasy-- the way he feels inside Saseki, or the saniwa's moans of his own pleasure. His breathing grows heavy in between their kisses, and his deeper growls rise into his own moans.

The uchigata's hold at Saseki's hip tightens as Saseki cries out, partly to keep that angle for him, but mostly involuntarily as he shudders at the sound.

"Ahnnn... Saseki..." he manages to let out a small, affectionate laugh in between thrusts, but the way he speaks, the tensnion in his voice, shows he's only just keeping it together. "Even your voice... gorgeous, music to grace my ears..."

He winces a little, even after the first time he feels him going inside, but the moment the feeling settles in, Saseki can't help but moan almost loudly as he feels Sengou moving his hips in what feels like a torturously loving motion.

Even amidst their heated desire, Sengou being so reverent and gentle with him makes the sage feel overwhelmed with love for his toudan. He's not fragile, per se, but the way the uchigatana is being gentle with him makes him feel loved even more than he already is.

Saseki's growing arousal becoming apparent, moaning wantonly at every thrust. He's in absolute bliss, feeling his beloved moving in and out of him that he himself can't help moving his hips together. Once or twice he steals a few deep kisses from Sengou, as if trying to heighten their desires even more.

A part of his mind is so tempted to touch himself, but that thought is entirely forgotten as Sengou hits him where it feels so good--

"Oooh~!"

Oh he feels like heaven, more so right then and there. Throwing everything away and giving himself to his lover like this… Getting more vocal by the second… Breathless gasps for more, more, more…

"M-Mura...masa--ahh~!"

[kowaindar0u]

[ with @nxmelessfighter | from here ]

Sengo watches in silence as Ookurikara lays the flowers down upon the spot.

For once, this is a silence he's sharing-- not one he feels the need to fill with awkward chatter just so it doesn't hang.

As he gazes at the flowers, he finds himself revisiting their time with the Tokugawa in his mind-- they had been through so much, so many years-- so many decades-- and upon returning home it seemed as if hardly any time had passed.

Sometimes he wished the lives of Honda Tadakatsu and Ii Naomasa had been much, much shorter.

Thinking of Nobuyasu, and now looking upon where Gohei's grave once was, he can't help but feel the seething prick of hate for one Tokugawa Ieyasu. Because of him, these two young men needlessly lost their lives. He would have gladly made good on the Muramasa reputation of being enemy to the Tokugawa should the need have arisen.

But... Nobuyasu (nor Gohei) wouldn't have wanted that, and Sengo... doesn't really understand. That boy had grown up to be far kinder and sweeter than Sengo feels he has the capacity to be. He--

He pulls himself out of those thoughts, just in time to blink clear his misty eyes.

"Ookurikara..." he says finally, as he takes a seat, kneeling there where he'd stood.

"Has Tsurumaru ever spoken to you about what happened, after you all had departed?"

[kowaindar0u]

[ for @zantedeschia-praesul | from here ]

Sengo smiles at the gesture from his saniwa, and reaches forward to return it, naturally accompanied by his typical deep giggle.

"We did, very much so," he reports, turning to survey the flowers Saseki had been tending to. "Though one can't expect any less with Monoyoshi-kun on the team. We even managed to find more koban than usual."

He crouches to get a better look at the flowers.

"It seems your hard work is bearing fruit now too, hm, aruji? Are--" Sengo stops short, perking up a little as he seems to spot something.

"Ah, a hummingbird!" he points to the little green blur flitting around the flowers. "Another fan of your work, no doubt!"

[kowaindar0u]

[ with @nxmelessfighter | from here ]

Sengo isn't the most empathetic toudan, nor the most adept at comforting others. He doesn't tend to express himself in the usual ways and often isn't sure of the best ways to go about responding to other people expressing theirs. But still, he can be quite affectionate (sometimes more than others really prefer).

Still, though, by now even he has learned to notice when their saniwa is troubled in some way. And so, he offers consolation in the best way he knows how (he's long since learned it's usually best to ask first, at least).

He crouches down just a little and scoops up his precious master in his arms, hugging her firmly to him.

"Arujiii~," he trills, pressing his cheek against her head. "What's the matter?"

[kowaindar0u]

"Huhuhuhu... I see how it is. Well. Should you ever change your mind or simply need a... substitute, you know where to find me."

"Sorry but not sorry. But also no offense to you that I'll only take offers from cute chicks. You just don't cut it for me."

Tsuru, must you pull your sword out?

[kowaindar0u]

diary entry #15, with Yuichi AND Sengou ehek (@zantedeschia-praesul )

[ DEAR  DIARY          .    .    . ]

oho... let's see how this goes

15.     entry made featuring desire. (Yuichi)

[maybe dated after our current thread with them]

Dearest journal. You know, I hated you at first. It's still sort of awkward to write here like this, and I don't think I could survive the embarrassment if anyone else were to ever find you. There's a reason I keep you unlabeled, even in my personal room. Just... inconspicuous, yeah? But, here I am.

Likewise, I never thought I would ever be feeling this way about somebody, and lo and behold, you're the only one I dare to admit it to. Yes, of course, it's Nagasone. I know one of the previous times I wrote about him I said it wasn't anything uncouth, but... I don't know, maybe it is a little bit...uncouth.

God, even just writing that is so... ugh, I want to scream.

I... don't even really know what exactly I mean by that either. I've never really had this feeling, about anyone. I mean... I'm an adult. By now I've had... 'what-if' thoughts, right? By this age for a lot of people, this is nothing. It's normal, even. But until now, the thought has always just been... uncomfortable, mortifying... I mean, scary, yeah?

But I think...maybe what I'm feeling is that... with him, it might not be any of those things? Nothing is scary when I'm with him. I think I might even like it...?? I... I don't think I would be good at it, though? I seriously CANNOT believe I'm even writing this. What is this?? What am I doing? God. No, yeah, of course, he's... too sweet to hold it against me if that's the case. You're right. And I'm imagining that you're speaking back to me. Okay. Great. I knew writing about this was kind of a stupid idea huh?

Well. This entry here more than ever-- if you tell a soul, I'll... I don't know. Rip you apart or something. Use your imagination.

---

15.     entry made featuring desire. (Sengo)

[from before our thread with them]

I should probably be speaking with some of my more... insightful fellow touken danshi about this, but as per usual I'm not doing that. Instead, I'm writing in this journal. I think this is best. Others may describe me as mysterious, or perhaps too forward in certain regards, or maybe a mix of the two. But it all comes down to the fact that I simply... cannot seem to express my true self.

In general... the reason for that is... kind of a mystery. Surely there are many feelings the sharing of which is good for all involved, no? Perhaps it's that when I do try to express them, I do it...poorly. Incorrectly, maybe.

However... the reason I'm even scrawling on these pages today is something I feel for certain that is simply best kept hidden, relegated to my own mind. I only write here in hopes of relieving some of the ache it causes me. Perhaps this is what they call 'heartache'.

You see, little notebook, for some time I have been harboring this... longing, for my saniwa, my master, my-- ... Saseki. He is beautiful-- simultaneously so handsome, so pretty, and so adorable. He is strong, yet I have the feeling that he has faced considerable trials in his time as sage up til now, and while I haven't been privvy to the specifics, I just... I want to protect him. I know-- all touken danshi wish to protect their master. I know, but this... It's different. I want to protect him, I so, so badly want him close to me, more than close. I want to love him, and I wish, so fiercely and desperately, that he could love me in the same way, but...

I feel... I feel like it could never be. Even if I did find the audacity, the honesty within me... If I were to tell him, to spill all or any part of this as some bleeding-heart confession, I... I think it could only lead to discomfort, or worse. And I don't think I could handle doing that to him.

So... I will continue to simply serve him as touken danshi, to maintain an arm's-length friendship, and... as painfully as I yearn for something more, I will cherish and appreciate every aching second I spend with him.

Until next time, journal.

[kowaindar0u]

*shivers*

"don't believe everything you hear. a hoe does get cold sometimes."

[kowaindar0u]

(sorry for not being sorry ;P) entry #15, for Sengou, Taikyuu AND Yuichi 👀 @zantedeschia-praesul

[ DEAR  DIARY          .    .    . ]

desire round 2 (and taikyuu) letz goooo

15.     entry made featuring desire. (Sengo)

Diary, diary, diary...

What can I say? I'm writing this with a very different mind than I wrote my previous entries. I can't say I'd ever thought I'd write for anything other than to try and ease the ache of my longing, but... Today is different.

The longing is not gone. It might be stronger now, actually, now that I dare to let myself feel it fully, but also with the tentative notion that... it seems to be reciprocated. 'Seems', simply because it feels dangerous, almost, to presume it's returned to the same extent.

Saseki... my master, my friend, the subject of my affection...

I can't say it came about in the way I would have liked. But I learned a lot about him, and... he learned something about me. Or... at least, about the way that I feel, and have felt, for so long. I tried so hard to keep it contained. I really did. I had kept it to myself for so long, and I was prepared to continue to do so indefinitely. But... he just knew, even before I could tell that he wished for my honesty.

He said that he wants for me to open up more to him. And I want to do that. I... want to be vulnerable for him, deep down I want him to see me for all that I am, not through the curse so cruelly inflicted upon him, but through me showing it to him. I'm vastly out of my depth when it comes to knowing how to do such a thing. I think I am so accustomed to stifling, ignoring, and pushing away so much that... I'm not sure I know what it is that I'm hiding. The rawest part of me that I can pinpoint is just... my desire for him. Physically, sexually, carnally, of course... but also... I want to protect him, to make him proud, listen to him. If he does so accept me, and my feelings, then... I will do everything I can to make him feel loved. I simply hope I am able.

Imagine. Me, a Muramasa blade, not just refraining from lending any credence to the rumors of the wicked curse, but... actively defying it, simply by following my heart's desires.

I have to laugh.

15.     entry made featuring desire. (Taikyuu)

[first entry]

a diary? are you kidding me? what am i supposed to write? not happeninG

[second entry]

"you know I always found journaling to be helpful when I'm dealing with something. some of my most raw, thoughtful writings come from things i write in my diary" GO TO HELL KASEN

[a few more "entries" seemingly written a line or two but furiously crossed out]

[the following entry is clearly written with a rapid, heavy hand]

I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM SOMETIMES I HATE THEM ALL

sure i'm a shinsengumi sword, too. harada was just as much of a member as they were. it's not that i feel left out. it's not that. and i don't hate yamatonokami. most of the time anyway. but there's something that happens to me when i see them all together. especially yamatonokami and kashuu or kane and kunihiro. i don't like spending time with them when they are together because whatever the fuck it is makes me so ANGRY i don't know what it is. i don't know what it is but it makes me want to rip open my chest and pull my heart out and it sometimes makes me question why aruji ever manifested me in the first place if it makes me feel something like this. it's not fucking FAIR why do they get to have each other. i see them on the battlefield and they're so in-sync with each other, like they understand what each other is going to do and then they laugh together and i want someone like that who understands me the most and i want to understand him...

it fucking hurts. i ... i miss... ? i miss him...? i can't remember his name. and i know sometimes i wished i was used as much as he was. but ... he hasn't shown up here yet and ... it's not fair. i want him here. i want him here i want him here i want him here

15.     entry made featuring desire. (Yuichi)

I'm back again. I should be sleeping. You should be minding your business. But here I am, answering the call to spill my thoughts to you.

But tomorrow Nagasone and I are spending the whole day together. Planned this time. As you can tell I have probably already thought about him so much over the past long while. But... after the last time we went to our garden I really am thinking about him so, so much, and in a somewhat different way than I was before that.

The way he brought me back from how far I was spiraling, the way he cares for me, the way he holds me, speaks to me, the way he touches me... It's really doing a number on me. Any moment of quiet, my mind is full of thoughts of him. How could it not be?

And... I know he knows that I love him. But it feels so farfetched to think that I might make him feel even a fraction of this... but the way he treats me... It's hard to not admit that ... maybe I do? And now THAT... That's a big thought. It's not bad. I like it. But it's a lot. Er... what I'm trying to say is it's a big deal. It... means a lot.

We spoke about something the last time we were there. I told him I wasn't ready for... going further. You know that. I told you. But you know what, journal...? If he still wants to... Maybe I am ready. Scratch that. Not maybe. I ... If we are as on the same page as I think we are, as I feel we are, then I think we both want to show each other more. I'm in good hands-- couldn't ask for better ones. Hands... arms... lips...

Oh. I've been trying not to think about that too much. I have things I need to be doing after all. I SHOULD be sleeping right now. But closing my eyes just puts me right back in our strange, beautiful, mystical cave, and THAT's not sleeping.

It's going to be a long night.

[kowaindar0u]

"Huhuhu... You needn't worry. I have every intention of taking very good care of our dearest saniwa."

"Aruji, make sure you have water breaks!"

[kowaindar0u]

💭 (sengo), 🪽(sada), 💞(yuichi), 🗡️(yasu), 💔(fudou)

[ IN CHARACTER CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT QUESTIONS . ]

under the cut cause these shits are long again lol

💭 THOUGHT BALLOON — is there something or someone you find yourself thinking about more often than other things? if so, why do you think you do this?

If I must answer this... well. Of course I am always thinking of my dear master. Fond thoughts, to be sure, but also...there's always a little...niggling in the back of my mind. 'What-ifs', so to speak. And... during, and after returning from, our lengthy mission among the Tokugawa, my thoughts have been perhaps more occupied by that of those I spent that time with. Tonbokiri, Ookurikara, Ishikirimaru, Nikkari, and Monoyoshi-kun... Of course being a fellow Muramasa, Tonbokiri has always seemed to understand me more than anyone else. But even the rest of them, I... I suppose there is likely no way to spend so long with a group of people like that and not kindle some kind of bond with them-- at least that's how I feel. I don't know if their feelings toward me are any different than they were when we began. I just know that when they each left us, one by one, fulfilling their rightful end in that timeline... even though I knew they were simply returning home, it really felt as if a loved one had died. And then of course... there are Gohei and Nobuyasu. Two pure, innocent, kind souls who deserved far better than what they'd been given. I never expected to become so attached to a child of all things, but even though I did so from a distance compared to my fellow touken danshi there, I still feel like I helped raise that boy myself. I don't know if I would consider myself a parent, but... The hatred I harbor for that boy's real father is immeasurable. I think about them all so much. I still grieve them, I think, even though I'm not sure what to do with myself when it hits. Even my fellow touken danshi who returned before Tonbokiri and I... sometimes I still think or dream about their 'deaths' and... well. At least I can remind myself they're still here, alive.

🪽 WING — if you could choose to have one superpower for a day, what would it be and why? what would you do with it?

ANY SUPERPOWER? Oh man, that's a hard choice! But you know what, I think I would choose to be able to fly! How cool would that be, y'know?! Especially if you could go super fast, just zoom around in the air! Think about it!! Oho, also... Imagine the surprises I could give Tsurumaru! Just fly way up and then when I spot him, just dive-bomb him! Hehehe...

💞 REVOLVING HEARTS — who and/or what are you most grateful for in your life?

Ah... without a doubt, my touken danshi. Perhaps it's a bit cliche of me to say as a saniwa, but... I'd be remiss if I said anything else. My life with them is wildly different, in the best of ways, from what it was before I ever knew them, and... I could not and would not give them up or trade them for anything in the world, not a single one. Without them... well, I'm nothing.

🗡️ DAGGER — what is something or someone you know you can’t afford to lose? how far are you willing to go to make sure you don’t lose it/them?

Why would you ask me something stupid like that? Ugh. Fine. But you'd better not tell anyone what I'm about to say. Yamatonokami. I know that idiot feels the same about me, but I'd give my life for him. He's my brother. It's my job to try and protect him when I can. And... I guess it's my job to tolerate him, too, even outside of battle, so he doesn't ditch me, yeah? [in souyasu verse, there's also this lol] Yamatonokami... and Souza. He's... I don't know what it is. I don't know why he likes me the way he does, but... I'm glad he does. If anyone hurt him in any way... well. I don't think they'd see the light of day again, even if it means I don't either.

💔 BROKEN HEART — is there anyone in your life you wish you had a better relationship with? if so, how come? what makes this person important to you?

[he is probably a few glasses deep of amazake to be answering this lol] Mmm... I wish... I wish... Hasebe and I got along better... I wish we could interact without fighting and yelling and screaming... I don't even know why. I don't think he likes me at all. I want to like him, though... I want to get along with him. I think if I could manage to not make him hate me so much... maybe all of us Oda swords could get along better and be happier, yeah? But I just can't help myself around him, he always knows just what to say to get under my skin! Sigh...

[kowaindar0u]

(last one promise) 🍸 Muramasa, how much do you love/want your dear saniwa? Tell us your truest feelings/desires for him. (@zantedeschia-praesul)

[ Send 🍸+ a question and my muse will answer while drunk. ]

Sengo Muramasa is absolutely hammered, sloshed, wasted. Turnt. Shitfaced, even. He clutches his current bottle to his chest, spilling it a little as he lays down on the floor with a loud, longing whine. Despite the obvious slurring, it seems like maybe he has thought these words many times before.

"Soooo much... Ohh... I just want to hug him...hold him... kiss him... taste him and please him in any way I can... I wanna protect him... I want him to protect me... I want... I've heard people say that the ones they love know them better'an they know themselves? Yeah? Huhu... I want him to know me better than I ever could, inside and out..."

He sits up, with the same suddenness as being startled awake.

"I should go tell him this!"

And then he lies back on the floor. He's out like a light.

[kowaindar0u]

[ @nxmelessfighter | from here ]

Sengo feigns an offended gasp, hand on his chest.

"Ookurikara, I'm hurt!" He's actually kind of proud of himself for having hid the items in question so well on his person. As long as he doesn't jostle too much, they should stay hidden. "You think I would take your clothes? Have we met? What makes you think I want more clothing?"

[kowaindar0u]

Sengo just smiles and nods, as Ookurikara leaves.

Once he's alone, he finally draws in a wince and lets out a long breath, mentally cursing himself for getting himself into such a position, even if by accident.

Ookurikara returns shortly, and Sengo smiles again, shivering at the freezing cold against his leg. "Yes, it's fine," he replies.

He can't help but chuckle, nor can he help but feel grateful as he watches his friend tend to his injury. "You know, I'm so lucky-- I think not everyone would help me like this after faking it so many times."

<< @kowaindar0u

One look at Sengo's ankle and Ookurikara concludes that Sengo is in fact not joking.

"Stay there. I'm getting some ice."

Not that he would consider anything about having a twisted ankle 'lucky' but he supposes it was better that this happened while they were on field duty and not on a sortie.

Ookurikara retrieves an ice pack from the kitchen and hurries back to the vegetable patch, well aware of the stares of the other swords who were probably confused as to why he was in such a rush.

He gingerly places the ice pack on the injury, making sure not to apply too much pressure. "Is this okay?"

[kowaindar0u]

[ with @nxmelessfighter | from here ]

"Oh, nothing," Sengo trills, finally removing his hands from Ookurikara's personal bubble and instead folding his arms across his chest.

"I just couldn't help myself. You know, we have been friends for so, so many years now," he remarks nonchalantly, though there's a glint in his eye that betrays his delight at the thought.

"Even so, I would have bet that you'd grown tired of me by now. So... I just like to keep you on your toes~."

[kowaindar0u]

I can't tell if you're joking. (ookurikara -> sengo)

[ Baldur's Gate 3 Sentence Starters ]

"Well, now... Isn't that half the fun?" Sengo smiles cheekily, giving Ookurikara a wink.

Sengo, too, sometimes isn't sure whether he's joking or not, or perhaps purposely puts himself in such a limbo-- whether it be flirting, teasing banter, derisive remarks about life in general, or sometimes all three or something else entirely.

Unfortunately that uncertainty isn't really helpful when he's being serious.

So even as he jests and winks at his friend, he still sits on the ground, propped up on his arm in the grass, and extends his leg out in front of him.

"No, I'm afraid I'm not joking this time, it hurts--" His eyes turn toward his ankle, which upon closer inspection is twisted in a way it really shouldn't be. How he'd managed this, he's not sure. He's sustained worse, no doubt, but this still seems troubling. "Probably karma for all the times I've tried to pull this as a bit, hm?"