#ibweek

[anyarlly]

ib week day 4: argument (or more like bickering in my case)

historical bureaucracy!! (w anna's bee) we got: 1700's, 1300's (specifically plague time), 1920's

[incapacitated-till-caffeinated]

Off we go again

[v4guelyv4mpiric]

I FORGOT TO POST THIS FOR IBWEEK HAVE IT NOW I'LL DO TODAYS SOON

[hollowistheworld]

Flies

Day 2 of IBWeek 2023, hosted by @the-bureaucracts-are-everything

Also on AO3

They’re admiring Gabriel’s statue again, and that’s how Beelzebub knows they’re absolutely fucked. It shouldn’t have been endearing, watching Gabriel stare lovingly at a statue of himself. But unfortunately for Beelzebub, Gabriel was no longer capable of doing anything that wasn’t endearing. Everything was their song miracled onto the jukebox, Gabriel buying them human consumables so they wouldn’t draw too much attention, Gabriel letting his gifted fly out of its matchbox just to smile at it and listen to the buzz of its wings. 

Beelzebub had decided they didn’t care about the fraternizing, didn’t even care about pretending to come up for a reason for it, but this… They looked up at Gabriel’s statue, at the massive cross, the memories of the days of robes and ceremonies.

“How were we both more and less formal back then?” Beelzebub asks.  

"Hmm? Oh. I…” 

And Beelzebub misses the next bit of Gabriel’s blustering, because they’d looked over just in time to see Gabriel look up at the statue - meaning he hadn’t been looking at it all along. It had looked, instead, for just a moment, like he’d been looking at Beelzebub. 

And Beelzebub isn’t quite ready to think about all the implications of that, so they tune back in just in time to catch Gabriel saying, “I don’t miss the robes though. Suits suit me far better.” He chuckles and repeats, “Suits suit me better. That’s good. Didn’t even mean to.” 

Beelzebub, with barely any attempt at restraint, smiles. He is funny. Not that obnoxious excuse for funny that one usually gets with angels, where they pretend they don’t realize they’re rubbing the Fall in their demonic audience’s faces. Actually funny. And genuine. 

And… sweet. Gabriel is sweet, which would have been an unimaginable description of him a few years ago. But back then Gabriel had been more of an idea than another living being. Just Beelzebub’s counterpart Upstairs, the one they’d butted heads against a few times over the millennia, the one they'd be squaring off against once the War finally got rolling.

Now Beelzebub would rather take a massive demotion and spend the rest of their eternal existence in the worst of Hell’s pits than play that particular story out. 

Because they’re fucked. Because they’re standing here in a graveyard, looking at a statue of the Supreme Archangel Gabriel while standing next to the actual Supreme Archangel Gabriel, because there’s nowhere else they’d rather be than wherever Gabriel feels like being. Fuck that, there’s nowhere else they even like being anymore. 

“Are there any statues of you out there?” Gabriel asks. 

Beelzebub shrugs, and makes an effort to not preen too obviously at being asked. “None that bear such a good likeness. Mortals like to emphasize the horns and scales and things when they make representations of demons. They are meant to be afraid of us after all.” 

Gabriel looks down at them with a sort of frown. He has an odd way of frowning, Beelzebub has noticed, as though he’s trying to convince you he’s smiling at the same time. Probably wasn’t really allowed to frown in Heaven, same as you could never look too happy in Hell. “Right,” he says. “Demonic attributes. You have more than just the flies?” 

…Right. They’ve only ever met up on Earth, where boils on the skin or rotting teeth might cause a panic. “Plenty more. I’m the Grand Duke of Hell. I can’t look mortal. We aren’t like you lot, where we can brag about being made in God’s image.” They sneer a little, but with far less bite than there’d been the first few times they’d had conversations like this. It all feels so natural now. They're not so different, at the end of it all. Not in ways that matter. 

Gabriel turns his back on his statue. “May I see?” 

Beelzebub stares at him. “…Why?” 

“That’s what you really look like, isn’t it? I’d like to see your real face.” 

They’re doing it again. Taking a step they aren’t supposed to, heading toward another place they won’t be able to come back from. The first had been when they’d simply agreed they’d meet again soon, no pretext provided, and the steps have been coming faster and faster ever since. This is the most dangerous thing Beelzebub has done since the original rebellion, all those thousands of years ago. But unlike then, when Beelzebub had looked up at God’s place above them and braced themself for the brutal consequences they knew were coming, there’s no real fear. Just the awareness that they’re about to do something just as reckless and dangerous as the Fall had been. 

Beelzebub is pretty sure this fall is going to be worth it. 

They’re still caught off guard every time they move closer to it though. This isn’t what demons do. This isn’t what angels do. But when Crowley and his angel had canceled Armageddon, they’d messed up a lot more than just the Great Plan. 

It occurs to Beelzebub they may have to come up with some reason to cut Crowley loose and take him off hell’s shit list. They have enough decency to at least recognize when they owe someone, and it would seem they owe Crowley a lot. 

“Alright,” Beelzebub agrees, and Gabriel smiles. 

It’s been a long time since they’ve been on Earth without disguises. Humans aren’t so easy to terrorize or impress as they used to be, and even Hell’s Grand Duke has to deal with an obnoxious amount of paperwork to get a new body if the old one gets burned at the stake or stoned to death. Beelzebub takes off their hat and twists their neck, stretches their shoulders, feels the pop in the back of their ribs. Their flies begin to buzz. They can see when the noise reaches the world - Gabriel tips his head and smiles wider.

The night grows a little darker, the air thicker. Beelzebub feels their skin shift and snap, the left side of their mouth pulling up, their teeth sharpening and elongating and filling up their mouth. Flies crawl over their tongue and out of their mouth, burst out of freshly formed pustules on their skin. 

And then they’re fully demonic; surrounded by flies, their skin rotting off in patches, boils sprawling across their face. They’ve even exposed their wings - a rare thing to bother with, but if they’re showing off, they’re going to do it all the way. 

Beelzebub’s wings have changed over the years, no longer the soft feathers God had once given them all. Now they’re stretched thin, transparent, like feathers made of fly wings. Beelzebub unfurls them, lets them catch the light Gabriel summoned and throw twisted shadows on the surrounding tombstones. 

This is one of those things a demon shouldn’t be doing. It’s been a good few centuries since you could just wander around with all the evidence of your crimes against God on your face for anyone to see. They put regulations in for this. To intentionally not pass yourself off as a human was to declare yourself to have bad intentions, and that meant any nearby angels had free reign to slam down with all the holy power they could muster. 

And here’s Lord Beelzebub themself, in front of Supreme Archangel Gabriel, making sure there’s no question about exactly what they are. And not only is there no fear, Beelzebub doesn’t even feel the need to be challenging about it. They feel no need to brace themself, to meet Gabriel’s eyes and dare him to turn away in disgust. 

And Gabriel doesn’t. His eyes are glowing violet and his own wings blur into existence, and the two of them are spotlighted, their wings catching and throwing the light at each other. The rest of Earth seems to have disappeared and it’s just them now, in all of existence. 

Gabriel reaches out one hand and flies swirl around his wrist as he cups his palm against Beelzebub’s cheek, his thumb running gently along a patch of rot. “You’re stunning,” he says softly. 

And it isn’t… Beelzebub has never been insecure about their appearance. They’re intimidating and horrifying and know how to put on a disguise (which is more than can be said for at least half of their people) and that’s what being a demon is all about. They’re proud, if anything. And they certainly aren’t wondering about humans or angels finding them attractive. 

But once, a long, long time ago, Beelzebub was an angel. They had once crowded at God’s feet and shouted with delight as the universe formed around them. That had been stunning. Beings who had been present at the birth of everything didn’t use words like stunning and awe-inspiring lightly. 

They lean into Gabriel’s touch, feeling a smile on their mouth they hadn’t thought about making. It’s like a small miracle in its own right, how often that happens around Gabriel. As though a smile is the expression that belongs on their face, not a snarl or the slack-jaw of boredom. 

“You’re rather nice on the eyes yourself,” Beelzebub returns. “I like purple.” 

Gabriel’s smile gets a little smugger and Beelzebub laughs. Gabriel’s free hand falls to their shoulder and his fingers slip into the tangle of their hair. “Your laugh is the most beautiful sound in the universe,” he says. 

Beelzebub remembers the singing of the morning stars, remembers how lovely God’s voice had sounded, back in the beginning, before everything had gone - quite literally - to Hell. Remembers sounds so beautiful you could cry at the way they filled you up. 

And not one of those sounds compares to Gabriel’s voice right now. “I could stay like this for eternity,” Beelzebub says, voice quiet, carried up by the buzzing of their flies. 

“Me too,” Gabriel replies, and he bends forward, touching their foreheads together. 

It isn’t eternity, in the end, because they don’t have that luxury. It isn’t even hours, because these meetings are crowded into their already busy schedules, around complaints and demands and paperwork and battles that just don’t feel worth fighting any longer. They drop their disguises back into place and the night feels grayer for it. They squeeze each other’s hands and hold on longer than is necessary, even as they pull away. 

“See you soon,” Gabriel says, stepping away like it pains him. 

“As soon as possible,” Beelzebub returns. 

It won’t be soon enough. It never is anymore. 

[imnotgrimimjustagrumpyreaper]

MASTERPOST OF MY IBWEEK 2023 FICS:

Day one, Dancing. "A Rhyme to Shine and to Pass the Time." A missing scene fic. A date we didn't see wherein Beelzebub and Gabriel do karaoke and dance.

Day two, Flies. "Then I Am a Happy Fly." A scene from a university AU. A second meeting between two college band kids.

Day three, Confession. "Some Things Just Stick in Your Mind."

A "What if" style fic. When Gabriel shows up in hell with no memory and no fly, Beelzebub turns to the husbands for help.

Day four, Argument. "California Dreamin' "

Another missing scene style fic. Beelzebub doesn't want Gabriel to fall; Gabriel doesn't care if he does.

Day Five, Hot Chocolate. "Once Upon a Time There was a Tavern."

A scene set in a The Locked Tomb Series Good Omens AU. The High Commander Gabriel and The Reverend Dark Lord Beelzebub try an ancient drink.

Day six, Gifts. "Little Boxes on the Hillside."

Set in an AU where Gabriel is a human office worker and Aziraphale and Crowley are his shoulder angel and demon. A coffee not quite date on a special day.

Day 7, New Experiences. "Please Put Your Sweet Hand in Mine (And Float in Space and Drift in Time)"

Another missing scene style fic. Set after the end of season 2, Gabriel and Beelzebub arrive at Alpha Centauri.

[the-graceful-dahlia]

FIC: An Ounce of Trust

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Category: Other

Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry PratchettGood Omens (TV)

Relationship: Beelzebub/Gabriel (Good Omens)

Characters: Beelzebub (Good Omens)Gabriel (Good Omens)Aziraphale (Good Omens)Crowley (Good Omens)

Additional Tags: Soft Beelzebub (Good Omens)Soft Gabriel (Good Omens)FluffKissingIBWeek 2023Day 3: ConfessionsLove ConfessionsPOV Beelzebub (Good Omens)

Language: English

Summary:

IBWeek 2023 Day 3: Confession

Reluctantly, Beelzebub tells the last demon they’d ever want to trust the depth of their feelings for Gabriel, and why he should hand him over—immediately.

[anyarlly]

ib week day 3: confession! aka my version of @miumiumanzo 's that one sketch (bee off the shoulder kimono moment killed me i had to draw it)

[hollowistheworld]

New Experiences

Final day of IBWeek 2023! Thanks to @the-bureaucracts-are-everything for hosting, I had a lot of fun with these.

Also on AO3

It starts with a question. 

“What is a roller coaster?” 

“Hmm?” Beelzebub looks up at him. The two of them are walking down the street from their favorite cafe, Gabriel sipping at a hot chocolate and Beelzebub opening a bag of coffee beans and dishing out a spoonful of them.

“Going faster than a roller coaster…” Gabriel sings. “What’s a roller coaster? Besides something that goes fast.” 

Beelzebub frowns. “I… don’t know.” They mentally flip through Hell’s most common terms - constantly being so busy meant Beelzebub had needed to help in Admissions from time to time, and had seen plenty of strange human concepts, but if ‘roller coasters’ had ever been one of them they can’t remember it. 

Gabriel frowns, then unwraps his arm from Beelzebub’s waist and jogs ahead a few paces. 

A human is sitting along the sidewalk, back pressed to the brick wall of a bakery, holding an overstuffed bag and looking unhappy. Gabriel skids to a stop in front of it and hands it a piece of human money as he asks, “What’s a roller coaster?” 

The human stares at him a moment, then gets slowly to its feet as it takes the money and Beelzebub catches up. Gabriel immediately puts his arm back around their waist. 

“It’s… A ride? A cart goes on a track and it goes-“ The human makes a dramatic swooping motion with one arm. 

“It’s fast?” Gabriel asks. 

The human nods. “Oh yeah. Crazy fast.” 

“It’s a ride?” Beelzebub asks. “As in, hum- people get in the cart and go that fast?” 

It nods again. 

Gabriel and Beelzebub exchange a look, then look back at the human. Gabriel hands it another piece of human money. “Where can we find one?” 

It stares at the money for a moment, presumably deciding if it’s worth telling them, then pockets it and says, “Hang on a second.” It takes out a phone - one of the ridiculous, sleek ones that look like what they carry around in Heaven - and pokes at it for a minute or two, not even speaking to it. Then, the human looks up and says, “There’s a carnival a few blocks from here. I can walk you there.” 

Gabriel beams, his million-watt Supreme Archangel Gabriel smile that isn’t quite genuine, but isn’t exactly a lie either. “Perfect!” 

So the human leads them to a carnival. It’s shockingly loud, even to Beelzebub, who’s used to loud. Full of smells Beelzebub can’t recognize, some of them pleasant, some of them less so. There are screams in the air they can’t pinpoint the cause of, along with metallic sounds like a stronger version of the noises the pipes would make moments before they burst. 

Gabriel’s smile freezes on his face as they approach, overwhelmed by so much new stimulation. Beelzebub tucks their bag of coffee into a pocket and gives him a squeeze, earning themself a grateful glance. 

Strange as it is, they’ve come this far, and they don’t need to speak to know that neither of them are willing to back down now. If humans can do it, so can they. Whatever ‘it’ is.

The human hands some of the money Gabriel had given to it to another human, who gives it more money in return, and ties a piece of paper around its wrist. It then steps back and nods them forward. Gabriel makes a face when he gets a paper bracelet of his own, but then they’re inside the gates and the human points up and ahead. “That’s a roller coaster.”

Beelzebub’s hand squeezes Gabriel’s of its own accord. “Humans ride that?” 

“Isn’t that awful… high?” Gabriel asks. “Because of gravity?” 

The human shrugs. “That’s half the fun? Did you want to try it?” 

Human shrieking is coming from the ride. Beelzebub is no stranger to human screaming, but they’re not sure what to make of the humans apparently doing it on purpose.

Gabriel looks down at them. They meet his gaze. 

“We’ve come this far,” Gabriel says. 

So the human directs Beelzebub to put their hat somewhere secure and leads them into a line, stopping briefly along the way to buy some sort of food that is, for some reason, presented on a stick that it has to throw away when it’s finished with it. 

Once they’re done with this little excursion, Beelzebub is going to insist they not leave home for a few days. It’s a lot to take in. They’re suddenly realizing why humans never seemed to be all that alarmed by Hell. At least Hell hadn’t had this much music and shouting going on all at once, and their terrifying features were just their faces, not costumes and paint they’d inexplicably put on. 

They wait in a line that puts Admissions to shame, and then the human grins at them. “Hey, lucky for you two - best seats in the house.” It points at the first cart in a long line of them and the two of them step into it, their tour guide hopping in one row behind. 

Gabriel and Beelzebub both jump as another human lowers a big metal bar over them, pinning them into the seats. They exchange a look, then look back at their human, who grins again. “To keep you from falling out. You might want to hold hands, if this is your first time.” 

Gabriel takes Beelzebub's hand with an uneasy look. 

It would be inaccurate to say either of them are scared. Anything a human can survive can be survived by an angel and a demon, and even if something goes horribly wrong, they can always miracle themselves to safety. But Beelzebub can’t remember the last time they went into something with so little idea of what the something was, and they know Gabriel has been no more adventurous. 

It’s a new kind of excitement, and Beelzebub hasn’t yet made up their mind if they like it when the cart they’re in lurches and shoots ahead. 

Once, Crowley had gone on a long and aimless tangent about how fast humans like to go. It had been about their invention of planes, or maybe rockets, Beelzebub can’t remember. They hadn’t really been paying attention. Crowley had been deeply approving, complaining about horses and how much better cars were, how this being in the air thing was bound to be even better. 

Beelzebub should have given him more credit. He had, apparently, been absolutely right - humans liked to go fast. Fast like Beelzebub wouldn’t have thought their corporeal body could handle. Fast like the humans should be terrified, and maybe they are because they’re still screaming, but they’re doing it on purpose. Beelzebub has seen a lot of humans - or at least a lot of human souls - get dragged into things they don’t want to do. There had been none of that in the line down below them, and as the cart shoots around a corner and tips on its side their human guide whoops from behind them as Gabriel's fingers tighten around Beelzebub’s. 

It goes on for what feels like a very long time. It slows down a few times, making Beelzebub think for a moment that it’s over, and then they would speed backwards or drop down like the humans had forgotten to keep building the road. 

They stumble a little against Gabriel when they get off, and he looks dizzy, one hand fisted into the back of Beelzebub’s coat. 

“Well?” the human asks. “What’d you think?” 

Beelzebub and Gabriel exchange another look. 

“I-“ Gabriel begins grandly, “-am not sure.” 

The human laughs. “Sounds about right for a first time. Give it an hour or so.”

So they do. Their guide flops down on a bale of hay and tells them to come over if they have any more questions, munching on a bag of something Beelzebub doesn’t want to ask questions about. 

They don’t try the food. It smells very strong and some of it is dripping, and they’re still making their way slowly through the options at their cafe. They aren't ready for whatever this is. They explore something called a House of Mirrors, which Beelzebub finds far funnier than Gabriel does, and they have to produce one of his little mirrors afterwards to assure him that it was just some bizarre human trick and not cause for concern. Beelzebub finds themself surrounded by flies without any effort at all, because the place is, for some reason, thick with them. They watch humans play at games that are most definitely rigged but either no one is noticing or no one cares. And, after an hour, they do cautiously try another roller coaster, which is a little more pleasant with the extra warning about what they’re in for. 

Still, Beelzebub is glad when they return home and collapse into bed, Gabriel not even protesting about showers or casual clothes for once. He’d handed their human some more cash and promised it good luck - something he definitely isn’t supposed to be doing anymore, but even if Heaven noticed, who would be willing to do something about it? - and now looked like he was really considering a proper night’s sleep for once. Beelzebub agrees. 

“They really do come up with the strangest things, don’t they?” Beelzebub says. 

Gabriel nods. “And for… no reason? Did you see a reason?” 

Beelzebub shakes their head. “None whatsoever. Crowley used to say that humans didn’t need reasons to do things. I never really believed him before.”

“Same with Aziraphale.” Gabriel lets out a tired but happy sigh and pulls Beelzebub close. “I guess they were right about more than just angels and demons being able to be friends.” 

Beelzebub is exhausted in a way that’s new for them, but isn’t actually unpleasant. They think they might want to try out some more of the strange human inventions, eventually. 

Once they’ve spent a month or so recovering from this one, that is. 

[the-graceful-dahlia]

Fic: Purple Roses

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Category: Other

Fandoms: Good Omens (TV)Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett

Relationship: Beelzebub/Gabriel (Good Omens)

Characters: Beelzebub (Good Omens)Gabriel (Good Omens)

Additional Tags: IBweek2023Prompt 1: DancingFluffSoft Quiet and GentleHell is UnderstaffedHeaven is UnderstaffedKissingNight ClubsLate Night Conversationslate night walksThey/Them Pronouns for Beelzebub (Good Omens)He/Him Pronouns For Gabriel (Good Omens)

Language: English

Summary: IBWeek 2023 Prompt 1: Dancing

Gabriel has been looking for a reason to see Beelzebub since their last meeting.

Apparently, fate is on his side, and the demon he’s sent to Earth to deal with is none other than the Prince of Hell themselves.

He won’t let the opportunity go to waste.

[the-graceful-dahlia]

I absolutely love Can I Tempt You?, it's amazing!

Thank you so much!! The reception to this fic has made me so happy! ☺️☺️

I just couldn't get over the emotions Beelzebub showed in those in between scenes and the rest wrote itself!

Im planning to write more for ineffable Bureaucracy particularly for IBWeek. So I hope you'll enjoy my coming work!

[imnotgrimimjustagrumpyreaper]

Ibweek will be on hold until further notice. I think with the current allegations it's both tasteless towards the victims and puts everyone involved at risk of harassment.

Ineffable Bureaucracy Week 2024

[the-graceful-dahlia]

@the-bureaucracts-are-everything These tags! You are so sweet!

I'm working on my ideas for IBWeek so hopefully you'll enjoy the fics I put out for that as well!!

FIC: CAN I TEMPT YOU? PART 2

Chapters: 2/3

Fandom: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Relationships: Beelzebub/Gabriel (Good Omens), Minor or Background Relationship(s), Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)

Characters: Beelzebub (Good Omens), Gabriel (Good Omens), Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale (Good Omens), Shax (Good Omens), Dagon (Good Omens), Michael (Good Omens), Uriel (Good Omens)

Additional Tags: Canon Compliant, Expanded Canon, They/Them Pronouns for Beelzebub (Good Omens), He/Him Pronouns For Gabriel (Good Omens), Good Omens Season 2, POV Beelzebub (Good Omens), Soft Beelzebub (Good Omens), Fluff and Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Ineffable Bureaucracy, Soft Gabriel (Good Omens), Spoilers

Summary:

From another perspective it’s not so much a mystery as it is a love story; soft, gentle, and sweet.

A Retelling of Good Omens 2 from Beelzebub’s perspective.