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Chapter 31 - All that glitters...

Book: Open Heart 3 (Post Series)

Pairing: Tobias Carrick x MC, Ethan Ramsey x MC

Rating: Chapter: Teen

Summary: Extended Series WIP – Love Triangle. In this chapter – Casey begins to inform all the players about her decision to remain behind in Boston, and she copes with her own feelings as each response; Ethan begins to see healing takes more than he thought, and he has a friendly shoulder to help him through; Tobias & Casey each make a discovery, and wonder if they can truly trust each other.

Category: Extended Series (WIP)

Warnings: Some cursing.

A/N: This is a repeat, but it’s going to be 35 chapters. But it is REALLY going to be 35, no more extensions, the bones of the remaining chapters are already done. As I said last time, I’m not stressing over it, the story just needs to be told right. Expect Chapter 32 within the next week. I’m committed to keeping this going without many delays. This is the last “set up” chapter, the action is about to flow. Thank you and I hope you enjoy the chapter.

CHARACTERS BELONG TO PIXELBERRY STUDIOS

Casey’s eyes went to the door the second she heard it open; she knew it would be Ethan. He smiled warmly walked over to her. Too warmly. He looked like her parents had, in the past, when an acceptance letter arrived. She could see the nervous tension but also the unmistakable pride on his face. For all they had been through together, he always knew her future was unlimited, and telling him that she was turning it down was something she did not relish.

“Hello,” he grinned, pointing to the table. “What’s all this?”

“I went ahead and ordered for us. I hope it wasn’t too presumptuous, but I do know what you like.”

“You do, but you didn’t have to do this.”

“I know. But I also know if I waited until you got here, there is no way you would have let me treat, so I beat you to the punch.”

“You always did know how to one-up me, MacTavish.”

“It’s one of my charms,” she grinned.

“One of many.”

“Shut up and eat your croissant,” she said, tossing a flaky treat his way.

“So, will I be missing our meetings here soon?”

“You cut right to the chase, don’t you.”

“Yes,” he leaned back confidently. “You’ve made me wait long enough.”

“What if I just wanted to enjoy breakfast first?”

He shrugged. “We can do that.”

Casey sighed and tossed her muffin down onto her plate. She didn’t have much of an appetite anyway.

“What’s the point? It’s not as if I’m going to enjoy it anyway.”

A perplexed look spread on his face. “Why?”

“Because regardless of my choice, there was always going to be good or bad. There wasn’t one correct answer, there were two, and each came with its own price tag. Each one would please some and disappoint others. And I hate that.”

He leaned on his elbows and looked over at her with a tenderness that made her recall earlier days when this was “their” place, and he could whisk away her fears with a smile and the touch of his hand. She wished times were that simple once again.

“Casey, ‘others’ don’t matter in this equation as much as you do, you know that, right?”

“Sure,” she lied.

“And you’ve given this serious thought. You’ve really weighted the pros and cons, right?”

“I did.”

“Then you’ve made the right choice. Now,” he straightened up and spread jam on his croissant, “you can tell me that answer now or later. As long as you tell me before we leave because I’ve been patient enough.”

“I’ve decided to stay at Edenbrook,” she spit out. She immediately brought her teacup to her lips, lowering her eyes to escape the disapproving look she knew would come. But that did not protect her from hearing the tone of his voice.

“You’re… serious?”

“Yes,” she answered, clearly annoyed, “and I’m telling you the same thing I told Tobias last night. There were only two answers; it was always fifty-fifty, so I don’t know why everyone is so shocked.”

“I guess… it just wasn’t what I expected to hear. Are you certain?” he whispered, his voice so low it was barely audible. “Casey, this is the opportunity of a lifetime.”

“I’m certain,” she answered with a voice so confident that the average person would have believed her, but Ethan knew her too well.

“Case… what… what were your pros and cons?”

“What happened to it’s my choice, and you trust that I weighed the options thoroughly?”

“But with everything you told me, how could anythingtip the scales?”

“Ethan, sometimes you can have a list that is miles long, but just one reason on the other side can be big enough that none of the rest matters.”

His face fell. “Tobias.”

“That’s not my only reason,” she lied.

“It’s plain as day,” he objected as his exasperation growing.

“So what it if is,” she snapped. “I’m not you, Ethan! My career has never been my one and only end all! The people I love matter to me.”

She regretted saying the words the moment they fell off her tongue. His jaw clenched, and she wasn’t sure if she saw anger, regret, or sorrow in his eyes, and it was, in fact, all three.

“I’m… I’m sorry, Ethan, that was uncalled for. I’m just being defensive.”

“Then perhaps you should consider why you are. If you were so certain, you wouldn’t need to be. I know I’ve made my mistakes, and I know I’ve been foolish in not honoring those I have loved the most. But I’ve learned some, and now… a partner shouldn’t limit someone, Casey. I hate that he asked this of you.”

“He didn’t ask anything of me. I made my choice on my own.”

“After he gave you an ultimatum!”

“He never gave me an ultimatum!”

“He said if you left, your relationship is over. How is that not an ultimatum?”

Casey’s eyes darted around the café, and she saw other patrons beginning to look their way.

“My relationship with Tobias is none of your business,” she whispered.

“You’re right. But I care about you, and your career is my business. It has been since the day I reviewed your residency application. I’ve never taken my responsibility lightly, and I don’t want to see you toss it all away.”

“I’m the youngest member on one of the most renowned diagnostic teams in the world. Your diagnostic team. Isn’t impressive enough? I’m still going to have a brilliant career. I’m just choosing my path, and I am happy with my decision. Please, have enough faith in me to believe I’m capable of doing that.”

“Of course I have faith in you, he sighed,” I just hope you won’t regret this.”

She nervously popped a bit of her corn muffin into her mouth and smiled.

“Plus, you still get to meet me for breakfast this way.”

“Well, I suppose there is some silver lining,” he answered with a wry smile.

“Thank you, Ethan. Please, trust me.”

He nodded, but his silence left her with doubts.

Now I should go. I need to call William and inform him of my decision. Knowing him, this should be fun.”

“No doubt it will be,” he grinned, “But before you go. We finalized arrangements for Naveen’s party. It’s going to be on the Cape in two weeks, and I can assure you will have the day off. Will you and Tobias be able to join us?”

“Of course,” she smiled, “nothing could keep me away.”

_____

Casey sought out a vacant conference room the moment she entered Edenbrook, eager to get this unpleasant task out of the way. But, subconsciously, she probably wanted to do it before there was any chance of changing her mind. William’s secretary announced her call, and she answered within seconds. He was disappointed when Casey said, though the offer was one she couldn’t have imagined, she had to turn it down.

There was marked silence on his end, and as it dragged out, Casey grew increasingly uncomfortable.

“Have you given this sufficient thought? I don’t mind waiting a bit longer.”

“I have, and my decision is final.”

“May I offer some advice?”

“Of course.”

“I hope that you’re not doing this solely for the sake of my nephew.”

Casey was incredulous. “Excuse me?”

“I’m just saying….”

“I heard what you said,” she interrupted firmly. “ But you have a wife, correct? Are you telling me that you don’t take her into account when you’re making life-changing decisions?”

“Of course I do. But she’s my wife, Casey. Now, from what I understand, Tobias loves you an awful lot. Maybe enough that you will be his forever, but what if you are not? How will you feel then? I’m not trying to be cruel. I have daughters your age, and I’m going to give you the same advice I would give them. Opportunities like this do not come by every day. Do you want to throw it away for a maybe? You’re a brilliant young woman, perhaps you should put yourself first… especially….”

“Especially what?”

“Especially given my nephew’s track record with women.”

“You know, you barely him, and you barely know me. I know who he was, but I also know who he is, and I know how he feels about me.”

“Casey,” William sighed, then he spoke with kindness in his voice, “he’s my nephew. I love him, and this puts me in an awkward situation. But, I really like you, and I see what you can achieve and, selfishly, what you can bring to my institution. So, again, if you were my daughter, I would say, if he’s that devoted to you, then why was he unwilling to bend for you.”

“William, I’ve decided not to accept the offer. And I think our conversation is over.”

“Well, I’m disappointed, but I understand. But my offer stands.”

“What?”

“If you should ever change your mind, call me. I doubt I’ll be able to give you the same offer, but we’d always be delighted to have someone like you at GW.”

“Well, thank you for that, though….”

“I know, it’s unlikely. I wish you the best, Casey. With everything.”

Casey hung up, happy it was over. But, the relief and the happiness she expected to feel never came.

She began walking to the team’s office when she ran into someone who immediately made her smile.

“Well, look who it is! Are you counting down the days until you’re out of here, Naveen?”

Naveen smiled brightly. He was always happy to run into his grand-mentee.

“Oh, my lovely girl, you know that it is a mixed bag for me. I’m eager to explore other areas of life, but I also cannot imagine not being here every day.”

“Well, I hope that as you explore your life, that feeling will melt away.”

“That’s my hope as well! And how are you? It’s been too long since we’ve chatted.”

“I’m OK.”

“Just OK?”

“I just turned down an offer to go to GWU.”

“Ethan had told me about your offer. It sounded like a wonderful opportunity.”

“It was. But it wasn’t what I wanted right now.”

“Well, I trust you to make the decision that is best for you.”

“I’m glad someone does. But, Naveen,” she asked with a voice that sounded more desperate than she expected, “can I ask your opinion?”

“Always.”

“You’ve spoken to me about your regret in making work the sole focus of your life. Well,” she said with some degree of embarrassment, “I made my decision because work is not the sole purpose of my life. Do you… do you think that was a mistake?”

“My child, only you can answer that. From my perspective, it could go either way. Your career, especially at your age, is of great importance, and you have so much to offer. On the other hand, there is so much more to life. I would never fault you, and it isn’t as if you won’t have a stellar career either way.”

“That’s what I said!”

“Of course, I am also of the belief that if someone loves you, they would be willing to make the sacrifice to stay by your side, and you may want to take that into account.”

“But he has his reasons, valid reasons. I can’t really blame him.”

“Well, as I said, I have faith in you. All that matters is that this is the right decision for you.”

Casey clasped his hand, and she smiled weakly.

“I can always count on you for good advice.”

“Always. Even when I am no longer here. Oh, I understand Ethan is throwing a big, unnecessary affair to celebrate my new beginning. I’m hoping I will see you there?”

“You know I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

_____

Ethan was so caught up in his conversation with Casey he lost track of time and ended up running late for his session with Dr. Fernandez. He was never late for anything, so he was angry with himself. When he opened the door and entered the empty waiting room, it dawned on him, not being called the wrong name by a certain pain in the ass had become a routine, and he missed it.

His session was more emotional than usual, and that said a lot. He addressed why Casey’s decision weighed so heavily on him and began to understand why it shouldn’t. It was also becoming clear that his path to healing lay in digging up the past, to bury it again, the proper way this time. He had been unearthing for months now, bringing long-suppressed feelings to the surface. Beginning to understand how all the puzzle pieces came into place. It had been both exhausting and painful, but he thought the worst was now behind him.

But now, he was beginning to see that burying these things meant letting go. He wanted to release the pain that defined and sought to destroy him for so long. But the familiarity of that pain made letting it go feel like losing an appendage, losing who he was. Letting go meant giving up on hopes and dreams that still lived on in his heart, no matter how unrealistic. It meant forgiving, not just others, but, most difficultly, himself. He now realized that the glass-covered road he had crawled upon to get to where he is now was just the beginning; the steepest challenges still lay ahead. He only hoped that the reward everyone promised was on the other side would have been worth it.

He leaned against the back of the elevator as soon as he stepped inside, and only then did he realize he was not alone.

“Sonia, I didn’t see… how long were you in the hallway with me?”

“Uhm, I was there before you.”

“You were?”

“I was,” she chuckled.

“I’m sorry, I… why didn’t you say something? It’s not like you to be quiet.”

“Really?” she said, shooting him a look. “I know I’m chatty, but I can tell when someone is in though and needs to be left alone, and I respect that.”

“Well, thank you,” he smiled.

“You’re welcome,” she replied.

“I’m actually glad I got to see you. I missed your wiseassery more than I realized.”

“Awww. I’m honored! But I hope the lack of it didn’t impede your session.”

“Ah, today’s was difficult regardless.”

“That’s necessary, Ethan. Don’t be so hard on yourself.”

“Excuse me? What is my name?”

“Eduardo,” She grinned.

“Hey, would you like to grab coffee? I wouldn’t mind discussing how this therapy shit works again.”

“Well, I’ve been at it long enough. I am a semi-pro by now. But… I don’t have time to go to Derry’s, and my shift starts in 40 minutes, so we’d have to go there.”

She points to a Starbucks.

“STARBUCKS?! Are you kidding me? Don’t you have anythingbetter down here?”

“I guess? But it wouldn’t give me enough time to get to work. Now, do you want to have coffee with me, or do you want to show the world what a java snob you are by yourself?”

“I want to have coffee with you.”

“Good. Then shut up, and let’s go to Starbuck’s.”

“I should make you pay.”

“Fine by me,” shrugs.

“I’m only kidding.”

“Suit yourself.”

They enjoyed their time together, Ethan appreciated her explaining that healing is a lifelong process, but setbacks don’t mean you head back to zero. You notice you are sliding back at 70% and you do what you need to do. When he complained that it sounded exhausting, she asked him how well letting the demons control his life worked. She laughed victoriously when his response was, “Shut up.”

But Sonia’s favorite part of their encounter was watching Ethan drink his coffee.

“You look as if you are being assaulted!” She laughed.

“That’s because I AM!” he replied. “This is an assault on my taste buds.”

Sonia rolled her eyes, “You are such a prima donna! It’s not that bad.”

“I’m disappointed in you, Sonia. If I hadn’t introduced you to real coffee, it would be one thing, but I have. So I am disappointed.”

“Oh, how will I continue with my life now,” she chuckled, “You’re so lucky I put up with you.”

“You know what,” he laughed, “I am….”

Sonia smirked but diverted her eyes and looked away.

“Hey, are you free two weeks from Saturday, by any chance?”

“I’d have to check my schedule. Why?”

“I’m throwing a party for Dr. Banerji. Are you familiar with him?”

“Everyone is familiar with Dr. Banjeri. Plus, I know he’s your mentor.”

“How do you know?”

“Everyone knows.”

“You are such a wise ass.”

“I’m aware. Self-awareness is key.”

He shook his head, smiling. “Anyway, wiseass, would you like to go to his party?”

Sonia scrunched her nose, a bit surprised at the request. “Like, as a date?”

“Well, we don’t have to call it a date. We can call it, I’m going to be surrounded by people who, as much as I love them, all bring a certain level of stress. I’d like a friendly face who is there solely because they like spending time with me.”

“First, you’re assuming I like spending time with you. Second, I’m assuming there will be free food and adult beverages. Buddy, if I go, you will be far from the sole reason.”

“Is that a yes?”

“I will check the new schedule when I get to work. But if I’m free, yes,” she smiled, “I’d love to join you.”

____________________

Dusk was falling, and back at Edenbrook, Casey and Harper were wrapping up a conversation.

“Well, I, for one, am glad you are staying.”

“Thank you, Harper. It’s good to know someone is not disappointed in me.”

“Someone? Do you mean Ethan J. Ramsey? Because, as far as I can see,” she tilted her neck toward Tobias, who just entered the office, “most are likely glad you’re staying.”

Harper tapped Casey on the shoulder before heading out of the office.

“Hey, kid,” Tobias smiled then kissed Casey on the top of her head.

“Affection at work?” she smirked.

“Affection in the office while we’re all alone. You’re lucky we’re not doing more.”

“Yeah, yeah. Are you OK? You look exhausted.”

“I am. I barely slept last night.

“Really?” Casey asked, surprised, “I thought you would have finally slept well.”

“So did I. Hopefully, I will tonight.”

“Sorry to interrupt,” Ethan said, entering the office.”

“You’re not interrupting at all,” Tobias answered.

“Good. Do the two of you have a moment to go over a couple cases.”

“Actually, I don’t,” Casey answered. “I have a consult with Dr. Cho in ten minutes. Nicole Carpasso was admitted again this morning. I was asked to step in on the case, and it’s Dr. Cho’s only free time today.”

“Of course, it can wait,” Ethan answered, shooing her away. “Go, go.”

Tobias squeezed her hand as she walked out the door, sharing a lingering look. Casey then turned back to Ethan, smiling when their eyes met.

“I’ll see you at quitting time,” she said to Tobias and left.

“So, it looks like I still have an intact team,” Ethan said, never taking his eyes off his laptop.

“Yeah, it does. I guess you were expecting otherwise.”

Ethan raised an eyebrow. “Well, it’s still a little surprising, if I’m being honest. It was a hell of an opportunity she threw away.”

“I don’t disagree, but being here is a big deal too. She’ll still excel.”

“Mmm. I’m sure you’re pleased.” Ethan tried to contain the disapproval in his voice, but it came through.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Ethan folded his laptop and leaned back in his chair.

“Tobias, do you truly believe she stayed because of her opportunities here?”

“Gee, I don't know. When did being on one of the most prestigious medical teams in the hemisphere start being a bad thing? Because maybe I need to get my resume in order.”

“It’s not. But she had the chance to go to the next level.”

“And she decided she didn’t want to. That’s her choice.”

“You don’t think you had undue influence on her?”

“Whoa, slow down. I never told her what to do, and she made her choices on this alone.”

“And maybe she shouldn’t have. Perhaps you should have worked on that choice together, like a couple.”

Tobias’s eyes went wide. “Pardon?”

“You could have tried, and you could have attempted to come to a decision together. All you did is let her know choosing the position meant losing you.”

“Well, that’s a gross oversimplification of the situation. But thanks, Ethan. Next time I need relationship advice, I know where to go.”

“And what is that supposed to mean?”

“You know damn well what it means. My relationship with her is my relationship with her. Her ex, who really didn’t do right by her, is not the one who should be offering advice. I’ve always been honest with her. What was I to do? Wait until she decided and thought we’d be shopping for a house in DuPont Circle together before telling her I can’t move back there? In any case, her decision wasn’t based on me alone.”

“Yeah, I’d love to know what the other factors are.”

“Ethan, this conversation is closed.”

“Fine. I just hope you’re both happy.”

“Me too. And since we’re discussing things, my happiness is less likely to be impeded if my girlfriend isn’t turning to you when she needs to make a major life decision. Do you want to talk about impropriety? How about suggesting she talk me when she comes to you with such matters.”

“I can’t determine who she turns to.”

“But you don’t see anything wrong with this picture? How do you think I liked hearing her talking to you about her choice before she talked to me.”

“The same way I liked her talking to you about matters that involved me when we were together.”

Thoughts flashed back in Tobias’s mind; Ethan was right; he had no retort.

“Besides,” Ethan continued, “she never told me, she... wait… you were listening to us that night? Tobias, that's pathetic.”

“Nothing is pathetic when you're worried about losing the woman you love.”

Ethan sat quietly and swiveled in his chair. “Yea, I know all about that. But you were mistaken. She didn’t tell me a decision, she was just telling me about the offer. She hadn’t made up her mind.”

“Well, it sure sounded like she did at the time,” Tobias said sadly, though he softened toward Ethan.

“Why didn’t you at least try? I know I’m no one to speak, given my history with Casey. But don’t you see, I don’t want yours to be the same. I know what it’s like to lose her; trust me, you don’t want to do it. Could you have tried to come up with a solution?”

“You have no idea what I did or didn’t do. I was in the process.”

“Does she know that?”

“No, it's moot now she decided to stay.”

“She decided to stay without all of the information that was available to her! You should tell her. Even now.”

“I’ll take it under advisement,” he snapped.

“I’m sorry,” Ethan said, shaking his head. “I know our history is… complicated… but you matter to me, so does she. I’m glad we’re working toward being friends again….”

“We are friends, Ethan. We may be working toward making it less… complicated… But given everything, we’re doing a good job.”

Ethan nodded in acknowledgment.

“But understand, I would never do anything to hurt Casey.”

“It’s not always intentional,” said softly. “Anyway, more pleasant topics. Are you looking forward to Naveen’s party?”

“Of course, wouldn’t miss it. Do you need us to drive anyone down?”

“No one that I’m aware of. But I’d check on Casey’s gaggle of friends.”

“Hey, that’s my gaggle too!”

“Do I hear gagging in her?” Floria said, entering the office.

“See, Flor, you have to stop saying things like that. This is how rumors get started,” Tobias chuckled, surprising all.

“Well, I’ll make sure to quash that rumor. Anyway, did I hear travel arrangements for the party being made?”

“Yes, you did,” Tobias answered.

“Well, I’d rather not make the drive alone. Can I grab a ride with you, Ethan?”

“Of course, you’re more than welcome to come down with us.”

“Us?”

Tobias’s brow raised as he looked over at a dumfounded Floria.

“I asked Sonia to come along.”

“Sonia, from the coffee shop, Sonia?” Floria asked.

“Yes.”

“Oh, I hadn’t realized. Uhm, let me give it some thought.”

“Fair enough,” Ethan replied. As Floria quickly retreated from the office.

“Sonia?” Tobias inquired, “Who is this Sonia of whom I have not been made aware?”

“Relax. She’s a friend.”

“A friend? How many friends have you asked to Naveen’s party? Tell me about Sonia.”

“You're being incorrigible.”

“Which one of you is being incorrigible right now,” Casey asked, entering the room.”

“It’s Tobias’s turn,” Ethan deadpanned.

“Hmm, good to know. Ready to head home, T.”

“Well, I’d rather stay here and get more information about this Sonia person that Ethan is bringing to the party.”

“You’re bringing Sonia?” Casey asked, shocked.

“Yes, but it’s not a date.”

“It’s not?”

“Oh, for the love of God, will you two go home! As your boss, I demand it. Get out.”

____________________

“Tobias? Tobias?” Casey nudged him after he fell asleep on the elevator to the parking garage.

“Hmm… Oh? What?”

“Hand over the keys, buddy.”

“What, I haven’t been drinking,” he smirked.

“No, but you’re completely exhausted. Come on, let me drive home tonight. You know it’s not safe to drive this tired.”

“You’re right,” he said, tossing her the keys.

“So,” she said, adjusting the driver’s seat, “why don’t you shower and head right to bed when we get home.”

“Maybe,” he yawned.

“I barely ate today, so eating is in order first. Then, a shower and bed sound good. But only if you join me.”

“I’ll see. I’d really like to do some research on Ms. Carpasso’s condition tonight, but I could always go to sleep with you and just get up early.”

“Mmmm,” he said with his head against the window, “sleep with me. I always like you... sleep with…”

And he was out. Casey smiled tenderly at him as they were stopped at the red light.

I don’t care what anyone says, she thought, gently stroking his hand. I made the right choice.

After a quick supper and a playful shower together, they both slipped under the covers. Tobias’s nuzzled his head against her bosom and was asleep within minutes. Sleep did not come to her, but contentment certainly did. She stroked the top of his head and kissed it tenderly as he slept. After a while, Casey gingerly slipped out of bed and went to the living room, intent on doing some research, but she could not focus. She was becoming more at peace with her decision to stay in Boston. She was eager to put this difficult patch with Tobias behind them. She looked at the clock. It was just 10:00 o’clock, still early enough to call her parents; she had filled them in on her decision but wasn’t able to get into the details. After explaining, they had some concerns but understood and supported her choice in the end.

“After all,” she told them, “it was growing up in our family that made me feel this way. You know I’d never be happy with a successful career and no happy personal life. I want what we had when I was a child. A loving relationship of my own, if I’m lucky, maybe a child or two running underfoot, it’s the right choice.”

“And do you believe Tobias is the one that you’ll have that life with, sweetheart?” Her father asked.

Casey smiled and tugged her robe closer. “I do, Dad. I really love him, and I know he really loves me, and I know we can have a beautiful life together.”

“I believe that too, Case,” he agreed.

“Mom,” Casey said after a moment, “you’re awfully quiet. Do you have anything to say about this?”

“I’m happy for you, baby. I’m proud that you’ve made such strides, that you’re in such a wonderful position, you were offered another, and you have the head on your shoulders to know why you made the choice that you did. That takes so much.”

“I sense a but,” Casey replied with a nervous smile.

“There is no but, per se. I love you, of course, and I love Tobias too. I think you’re a wonderful couple. My only concern is that,” she sighed, “I think the two of you could have handled this situation a little better, and it has me concerned.”

“Rose, it wasn’t handled badly,” David interjected.

“No, it wasn’t,” Rose said, gathering her thoughts. “You’re still a relatively new couple, Casey, and I don’t dismiss that like others would. Even the strongest couples, like your Dad and I, started off as a new couple too, right? And we both knew very early on that this was for good.”

“Yes, we did,” her father agreed.

“But you’re still learning how you will operate as a couple together, and I think you should access where things could have been better. Do you see any places it could have, for either of you?”

“We could have communicated better. There was already tension brewing when we started to talk about a potential move and everything else. On my part, I should have discussed it more with him, even though I knew it was a sensitive topic.”

“Yes,” Rose concurred, “because he obviously knew it was taking place. Talking about it would have been hard, but not talking about it probably just planted more seeds of doubt into his mind.”

“True,” Casey answered quietly, “and I suppose….”

“Suppose what?” Rose asked.

“I should probably talk to him now. Because, even though I’m happy with my decision, I do wish there had been more discussion about a possible solution if I had taken the job. I mean, would he really want to throw us away like that without even trying?”

“I don’t necessarily disagree,” David stated.

“I understand his reasons, and I may even agree with them. But, if I want a future together, we will both have to sacrifice at times. But… did he really attempt that here?”

“Honey, if you really feel he didn't, then that….”

“No, Dad, let me clarify. Just encouraging me to look into the opportunity, knowing the impact it could have on us was a sacrifice, but… we should have talked more, and that’s on me too.”

“Good job, baby,” Rose said proudly. “Just talk. You two have a good thing, and that’s how you learn.”

“OK. I love you guys.”

Giving up on sleeping right away or doing any research, Casey turned on the TV and inadvertently fell asleep on the couch. She only woke when she heard her phone ring at 1:00 AM. Jumping to answer, she found that it never rang at all. Perplexed, when she heard the ring again, she noticed Tobias’s phone. He was so tired, he must have forgotten to bring it to bed. She picked it up to turn the sound off when a text message came through… from Angelica.

Tobias, please call me. I understand that your girl is sticking around after all, but that doesn’t mean we can’t go ahead with what we discussed. I still want you, and I still think this could be a good thing. Just… call me. OK?

Casey swallowed, and her blood went cold. She trusted Tobias implicitly, but… this was two nights… at this hour… and why was he so evasive when Casey asked who she was? She tried to stay calm, but she could feel her heart racing. She was going to heed her parent's advice. She and Tobias were going to have a talk, and soon. She was so anxious that she contemplated waking him when her phone rang.

“Hello?”

“Hey, it’s Ethan. I hate to call at this hour, but Ms. Carpasso went into cardiac arrest. I’m heading to the hospital and….”

“I’ll meet you there.”

“Case, wait, you don’t’ have to….”

“No, I do. This is my patient, and I’m invested in this case. I’m coming.”

“OK. Then I’ll pick you up. Can you be ready in fifteen minutes?”

“I can be ready in ten.”

Casey got dressed, hastily grabbed a folder from her bag, and scribbled a note on top.

T. Emergent issue with Ms. Carpasso, it’s 1:15 AM, heading into work with Ethan, I’ll be in touch. Love you, Casey.

And with that, she was out the door.

____________________

Tobias woke the following morning and headed to the kitchen, assuming Casey was already up. He saw the note on her folder and frowned. He hated when he started the day without her, but they were doctors, and it was all part of the job.

He was shocked that he slept so well without Casey by his side, but he had been exhausted. While he was feeling much better, he hadn’t had that first cup of coffee yet, and the morning grog was still in control. As he grabbed over the counter for his mug, he accidentally knocked Casey’s folder to the floor.

“Crap.”

He put the mug back down and leaned over to gather the papers that had scattered across the floor. As he straightened them out to tuck them back into the folder, one of the pages caught his eye.

Pros … Cons

Wait, something is off… she said she had many reasons…

He turned on the kitchen lights. He was still tired and needed to make sure he was seeing this straight. He was.

She said there were many… that I wasn’t the only…

“I’m the only reason she’s staying,” he gasped out loud, “she told me… she lied to me?”

They were going to need to talk.

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Delaying the Inevitable - Chapter 26

Book: Open Heart 3 (Post Series)

Pairing: Tobias Carrick x MC, Ethan Ramsey x MC

Rating: Chapter: Teen

Summary: Extended Series WIP – Love Triangle. In this chapter:

Category: Extended Series (WIP)

Warnings: Drinking, language

A/N: Hi everyone! As many of you know, my schedule has been very crazy, so I am going to try something new, slightly shorter chapters that may be posted more frequently. I'm going to give it a shot and see how it goes.

A/N 2: I want to take a moment to thank @liaromancewriter and @genevievemd for taking some time to chat with me. They helped me realize that I need to stop worrying about a schedule, stop worrying about how many chapters are left or how long this will be, stop worrying about pleasing everyone, and concentrate on writing the story I want to tell. They're right. This has freed my mind to embrace this story with the enthusiasm I had in the past once again. It's a new day. Thank you, ladies! I hope you all enjoy the chapter.

The windowless room was dark when he entered. Much darker than it had been any time before. He slid one arm out of his coat and then the other as he made his way to the closet. That’s when he saw the culprit. The bulb on one of the ornate antique floor lamps had blown out. He mindlessly twisted the switch in hopes that it merely needed to be turned on to no avail. He walked to the corner and took a seat, too dark to read the book he had hoped to catch up on. He tilted his head back and closed his eyes. At least he could get a little rest.

“Hello, Evan.”

His calm interlude interrupted, he jumped out of his seat.

Across from him, a tuft of Auburn hair popped out from behind an opened newspaper. A newspaper. He smiled. Apparently, he wasn’t the only one who still read them. Most considered them relics.

Her two hazel eyes appeared as she slowly lowered the paper, then he barely made out her smirk in the darkened room.

“Fancy meeting you here.”

“Yes. Imagine that. But my name isn’t Evan… Sonia.”

“Shit. Ernest?”

“Ethan. For someone who was so eager to learn my name, you have done a poor job in retaining it.”

“Slow down, cowboy. I wasn’t exactly eager to know it. I was just being polite. Damn, I hope you’re working on your social cues with Dr. Fernandez. They sure could use some help,” she grinned.

“Hmmm… and will you be working on that sarcasm with Dr. Porter?”

“Oh, hell no. It’s part of my charm. So, is this your standing appointment time? Because as of today, it’s mine too.”

“Isn’t that delightful?”

“It is. We are going to become the very best of friends!”

She laughed out loud. The room may have been dark, but it was impossible to miss the look of horror that spread across his face.

“Relax. You just noted that I’m sarcastic. You don’t have to worry that another human may actually join your limited social circle.”

“Well, that’s good to know. But, for your information, my social circle is just fine.”

“Whatever.”

“And I enjoyed how quiet the waiting room was on past few visits.”

“You lie,” she smiled before lifting her paper again.

“I thought I was the only one who still read those things, you know?”

“Oh, I turn back to my article, and that is when you want to make small talk?”

“I’m sorry, I….”

Her pleasant laughter filled the quiet room once again.

“You’re too easy. As for the newspaper, I prefer reading them. My phone doesn’t excite me… you can say I’m an old soul, I guess. My friends mock me.”

“Well, perhaps you need new friends.”

“They’re lovely people. We just prefer different communication methods. Besides, it doesn’t seem as if most people in Boston want to become friends. Especially ones you meet in waiting rooms.”

“Dr. Ramsey?”

“Hi, Dr. Fernandez. Well, it’s been interesting, Sonia.”

“Doctor Ramsey. Interesting.”

“Don’t worry, by next week, you’ll think I’m an attorney.”

“Probably,” she answered without looking up from her paper.

____________________

“Making friends in the waiting room?” Dr. Fernandez joked.

“No, just making small talk.”

“So, how have you been. You said you had a busy week ahead on your last visit. How did it go?”

“It was… eventful. I presented at a medical conference in Aspen.”

“Oh, I hope it was productive.”

“You could say that….”

Dr. Fernandez sat back and waited, giving him time to say what she could feel he was holding back.

“I was there with Casey.”

“Are you… together again?”

“No,” he chuckled. “Not at all. I have neglected to mention that she and I work together. She is one of four members of the diagnostic team that I direct. We were presenting together.”

“Oh, my. She reportsto you?”

“No. When we became official, we made arrangements to have her report to someone else. After, we felt it best we continue with that practice.”

“But you work closely together, on a small team. Even that must make for interesting dynamics.”

“Yes, and her new… boyfriend… my former best-friend… he is also on the team.”

“On the team of four?”

“Yes.”

“And who rounds this team out?” She asked sarcastically, “Your ex?”

“As a matter of fact.”

“Oh my. Well, this all presents challenging situations, I’m sure. But if none of you are looking for employment elsewhere, you will need to learn to work within it… and it’s not likely to be easy.”

Ethan chortled.

“Don’t I know it. Although my ex, Harper, and I, we’ve established a pleasant friendship and respect each other as colleagues. Maybe I can get there with Casey someday.”

“I would like to ask since you’re the director of the team, was Casey going with you… by design?”

“Excuse me?”

“Was there a reason Casey was selected to go and not one of the other team members?”

He instinctively began to formulate a cover. Deep down, he knew that he had been lying to himself about the reason all along. So admitting it to himself and another human being was not something he relished. But as he began to speak, something came over him. He thought about his reasons for being there and realized, lying wouldn’t get him anywhere. If he wanted to make progress, this was the time for unfiltered truth.

“We were asked to present on one of four cases that our team had great success with… and I picked the one that she and I worked on alone. That ensured that she would need to be the one to go with me.”

“Thank you for your honesty. It is commendable. But, what was your purpose in doing that?”

“It really was the most compelling of the four topics presented.”

Dr. Fernandez gave him a questioning look.

“It truly was, but… yes, any of the other three would have excellent topics to cover as well. My real reason for the selection. I wanted time with her. This is the first time I have admitted that to myself, not only you.”

“We have discussed how forcing interactions with her can be detrimental to your recovery, Dr. Ramsey. Now, progression is never a straight line, so I am not judging, but I am cautioning you against doing something like this again. If you feel you can’t control it, perhaps we should put something in place to prevent it. Maybe requiring your supervisor to select the participants who need to go on a trip, for example.”

“I’ll think on it.”

“But since the trip already occurred, how did things go? How did you feel about it?”

“It wasn’t terrible. It was a tense start but, we talked. We were able to clear the air, at least a little. We agreed that we don’t want to be awkward in each other’s presence. That, perhaps one day, we can be friends again. I also know now that… she really loves Tobias. It’s not some rebound, revenge or infatuation. I’m not proud to admit it, but that was one of the things I had hoped to learn on the trip, and I did.”

“And did learning that make you feel better?”

“No.”

“This is one of the reasons why you have to put Casey aside as you work on yourself. You’re not here to heal a relationship that no longer exists. You’re here to heal you. As to feeling awkward, sometimes awkwardness exists for a reason. Until you can establish proper boundaries, feeling awkward around each other is actually a positive mechanism to keep you both in line… and you crossed that line. You need to recognize that and do your best to not let it happen again.”

“Fair enough.”

“I think it’s important for you to recognize that, in this case, the factors that led to the destruction of your relationship were not born of the relationship itself. They stem from your history. The answers are not in Casey. They lie in your past. That’s where your healing is. Casey may have been a substitution, a way of proving that you were worthy of the love that your mother denied you. Punishing her away was just a way for you to tell yourself that you weren’t lovable after all, which isn’t true. I don’t want you looking to her to be a salve for your wound yet again. And given her proximity, it is far too easy for that to happen. It’s a danger zone.”

“You’re right. I can’t deny it. But we need to be clear, Casey was never just a salve. She was not just a replacement. Obviously, I’ve had other women in my life and, if that was all I was looking for, any of them would have done. Casey was different, she broke down the walls, and I truly loved her. I do love her.”

“Which is exactly why you must exercise caution.”

“Noted.”

“I have a proposition for you. We have made progress understanding your family dynamics and how they impact you, but I’d like to delve in deeper. Would you be amenable to your father joining us on a session or two? I think it could be beneficial.”

“My father? Why?”

“Because he was there. He may have insight that you don’t, and repairing your relationship could be one of the keys to making you whole again.”

“My relationship with my father is fine. It doesn’t need….”

“If it were fine, why did you turn on him when Louise left? It wasn’t just Casey. Can you honestly tell me that you haven’t kept him at arm’s length, even when you really haven’t wanted to?”

She could see him visibly swallow, but he remained silent.

“Are you amenable to the idea?”

“I can mention it to him.”

“That’s fine. But the choice of whether to do so or not isn’t his. It’s yours. You need to take ownership of these things. Let me know what you decide. It’s your choice, but I believe it could be a big step toward your healing.”

____________________

That evening was especially cold, even by Boston winter standards. But Casey and Tobias barely felt it. Being in love can have that effect on people. They came across a fruit market as they strolled, hand in hand, from the parking garage to Mistral, and Tobias stopped in his tracks.

“Hey, hold on second,” he grinned.

He emerged with a single rose in his hand. Bowing exaggeratedly, he handed it to her with aplomb.

“For my lady,” he grinned.

Because it was so cold, it was impossible to tell Casey’s red cheeks were caused by blushing or the biting winds, but he liked to believe it was the former.

“Tobias, was buying every rose in the state of Colorado not good enough for you? Do you now wish to acquire all in Boston, as well?”

“Well, if that were true, I would have gotten you more than one just now, wouldn’t I? It’s just a reminder,” he said as he took her in his arms. His gloved hands brushed errant strands of hair from her face as he stared down lovingly into her eyes. “I always want you to know how special you are.”

Casey cupped his cheek in her hand. “T. You always make me feel special.”

“Good! Then I’m doing my job right, and I don’t have to worry about getting an ass-kicking from my mother. It’s a win-win situation,” he grinned. “By the way, what did you end up doing with all those roses?”

“Let’s just say that every member of the housekeeping staff went home with an armful of flowers,” she smiled. “And that made happier than having them in my room did… not to be unappreciative… I loved having them in my room too.”

Tobias smiled while opening the door to the restaurant.

“No offense to be taken. You’re amazing, kid. You know that?”

“You keep saying….”

“Well, don’t get tired of it because I plan on continuing.”

The maître d saw them to a cozy table toward the back of the dimly lit restaurant. The tables around them were empty, and while unlikely, they hoped it would remain that way.

“This is perfect.” Tobias smiled, “Not too crowded, out of the way. I get you all to myself.”

“So why are we all dressed up at an expensive restaurant if that’s what you wanted, T. You could have easily had that at home.”

“Nah. I love our alone time, but I also like to show you off every so often.” He put his menu on the table as his eyes began slowly taking in every curve highlighted in the dress she was wearing. She felt the heat of his stare, and she felt her own arousal piquing. Maybe staying home would have been preferable after all.

“What are you doing? I feel like you’re undressing me with your eyes.”

“You think? In that dress,” he winked. “I believe I made it quite clear what that dress does to me the day we bought it.”

“Yes. You made it clear to me and anyone in our vicinity at Saks that day. Hopefully you can contain yourself a little more here.”

“Only because I want to spare us indecent exposure charges. I only had to bribe one sales clerk there. Here, it would be more costly, and I don’t think everyone would understand.”

“But it would be worth it,” spilled from both of their mouths in unison, followed by a fit of laughter.

“Sometimes I think this is a dangerous thing, T. You and me together.”

“It’s dangerous as hell! But it’s the best kind of danger.”

____________________

Across town, Ethan sat in his double-parked car in front of Floria’s home. He needed to get out more, and, as of late, she has been a good friend, yet, he had second thoughts about this throughout the day. Why had he suggested Mistral? It wasn’t a diner or a corner café, it was the next level, and it could be easy to misconstrue the meaning of an invitation there. He considered dressing down, thinking that could send some sort of a message. But the idea of doing so went against his very constitution, and, in the end, he couldn’t bring himself to do it. So there he sat in his new Berburry suit as she walked toward his car. She was wearing a black velvet coat over a stunning red dress with matching heels. She looked very much dressed for a date, a Valentine’s Day date, and he shuddered. As unlikely as it had seemed, he liked the friendship that they were forming. That’s all it was, and she knew that too. They both knew it. Or at least he tried to convince himself of that.

“Hi,” she beamed, sitting in the passenger’s seat. Casey’s seat, he thought. It would always be Casey’s seat. “Nice suit. New?”

“It is. I haven’t had a chance to get my dry cleaning, so this was ready and….” He was trying to convince her that the suit wasn’t for her. And he felt like a heel. He didn’t say she looked nice, which she did, but what if…

“It looks great, but where the heck is your coat? It’s freezing out!”

“I’ll be outdoors a total of 10 minutes, maximum. I don’t need a coat,” he smiled. “But I’m glad you’re wearing yours.”

“Great, you’re one of those do as I say, not as I do guys.”

“I thought you would have known that by now.”

“Oh, for a long, long time now, Ramsey, a long time.”

____________________

Tobias poured the last dribble of wine into Casey’s quarter full glass.

“What do you say? Do we go for a second bottle?”

“Tobias Carrick, are you trying to get me drunk?”

His eyes lit up, and a titillating smirk delivered that dimple that drove her entirely crazy. She gazed back with a stare so seductive that it took all his strength not to clear the table and have her right there. It was still hard for him to wrap his head around it at times: she was his. He was hers. After all of the longing and resigning himself to the fact that they could never be together, there she was. Her foot was teasing his leg under the table, and the look on her face rendered him helpless. There were still moments when he had to pinch himself to be sure he wasn’t dreaming and, right now, was one of them.

“I don’t think that’s necessary. But hey, it may lead us to be even more creative.”

“Yeah, that could be perilous,” she smiled, placing her glass to her lips.

“A risk I’m willing to take.”

“Sir,” the waiter interrupted, placing an elaborately staged dish of Osso Bucco in front of Tobias.

Casey smiled as her Mistral linguini was finally placed in reach. She was starving, and it looked magnificent.

“Someday, I’m going to get her to not order the least expensive item on the menu.”

“Hey! It’s what I wanted, and it looks delicious.”

“I assure you it is,” the waiter smiled. “And sir, it’s not such a bad thing to have a frugal wife.”

They were so immersed in their conversation that they did not notice the couple being seated just behind them. But the gentleman in that party was acutely aware of them. Her laugh, that captivating, beautiful laugh, he could single it out even if it were drowned out in a sea of a thousand voices.

“Oh, I’m not his wife,” she laughed, amused by the assumption. “When we were friends, everyone assumed we were lovers, and now that we are a couple, everyone assumes we are married.”

“It makes you wonder what they will assume when we are,” he winked.

“That is when your goal is to have them believe you’re a newly established couple, having just fallen in love,” The waiter laughed as he topped off their water glasses, “and I do apologize for the assumption.”

“Oh, no worries at all, my friend. Somewhere in DC, my mother felt a pleasant disturbance in the force. I’m shocked she hasn’t texted me yet.”

“Or me,” Casey laughed, “with something along the lines of ‘do you prefer roses or lilies. You know what, both can be tastefully intermingled.”

“How do you deal with that?” the waiter laughed.

“We ignore it.” They said in concert.

Though their mannerisms were playful, almost in jest, the comfort with which they discussed marriage struck him like a thunderbolt. Tobias was truly giving her something he never had right from the start. It didn’t take him years to acknowledge what he had; he knew it from day one. Seething would be the best word to describe him, even though his logical mind reminded him that he had no right to be jealous. But right or not, at that moment, there was no denying that he was. Not only was he there with Casey on his arm, but he also treated her the way she deserved from day one. Their love was an abundant garden, not a battlefield. That’s when he realized the real anger boiling inside him was directed at only one person, and that was himself.

Floria recognized his change in demeanor, and she knew exactly why. She eyed Casey and Tobias’s table.

“We can ask to be moved if you’d like.”

Ethan peered around the room, the restaurant was reasonably crowded now, and each table was marked “reserved.”

“I think we’ll be fine,” he smiled as he took his seat.

Casey and Tobias were lost in themselves, the Pope could have been seated next to them, and they wouldn’t notice unless it was brought to their attention. Floria’s eyes glanced over from behind her menu, and she felt envy begin to course through her veins. The way Tobias gazed at her. There was a time she would have given anything for him to have taken her in like that. It would have been nice if her husband would have looked at her like that in all of the years they shared together. She would love it if Ethan did it now.

What was it about Casey MacTavish? How did she earn the utter devotion of the two men most women would kill to be with. Sure, there was a time the two of them were a bit obsessed with her, too, and she threw it away; however, while the feelings they had for her brought them both to the brink, they never took them over the edge. Not the way they did with Casey. She directed her attention back to her menu. This was not how she intended for her night to go, and she was not about to let it take her away from her plans.

Ethan noticed how distant she had become.

“Floria, are you all right sitting here?”

“Me? Oh, of course. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I know he isn’t exactly your favorite person.”

“That’s an understatement. However, I’m not having dinner with him, am I?”

“No,” he smiled, “you’re not.”

The contrast between the tables was apparent, even if only two of the four were aware of it. One was acutely aware of the awkward situation; the other was in ignorant bliss. One struggled to make conversation, where the other was just so delighted to be in each other's presence, it flowed.

Trying to break an uncomfortable tension, Ethan told a very bland joke. It wasn’t all that funny, at all and he knew it. But Floria responded with laughter that filled the room. That’s when he felt every hair on his body rise. He couldn’t miss that laugh anywhere, but not because it filled his heart, but because it filled him with dread. Casey snuck a peek over Tobias’s shoulder, and the way her features twisted confirmed all he needed to know.

“Of every restaurant in the city of Boston,” Casey whispered.

“I’m game for ignoring if you are.”

“It’s a deal!”

They enjoyed the rest of their meal, careful to keep their voices down. But even having to do that, they realized the mood was dampened.

“Well, I can’t hold it any longer. I have got to go to the ladies room. Which means we’re about to blow our cover,” she whispered.

“It’s almost time for dessert anyway. Do you want to have it someplace else?”

“And miss out on their Crème Brulee? Are you nuts!”

“We could take it home?”

“We could eat it on the couch… naked.”

“Then I would have to feed you.”

Casey smiled seductively, “Why don’t you get the check while I’m gone. I’ll be back in five.”

It was impossible not to acknowledge them as she passed the table, so she plastered on her best smile.

“Ethan. Floria. How are you?”

Ethan stood up to greet her without realizing he was doing so, making the exchange more awkward.

“Casey, hi. You look lovely.”

“Thank you.”

Floria looked over at Tobias. “Imagine running into you here?”

“Yeah, only 3,000 restaurants in the city. What are the chances?”

“Well, you two always have had similar tastes,” Floria sneered.

She soon regretted those words when she realized those words cut Ethan as much as they had the others.

“Hmm, I suppose,” Casey replied nonchalantly, “now if you’ll excuse me, I do need to use the ladies room. Enjoy your evening.”

“You know, I could stand to go myself. I’ll join you.”

You’ve got to be kidding me.

Ethan’s eyes widened as she stood to go. Now he and Tobias were stuck, just feet away from each other, surrounded by an uncomfortable silence. Tobias would have been happy to retreat to their own tables until the women returned. But, he knew that would be in poor taste, so he tried to inject some humor.

“You know, I nearly took her to Sorellina’s. This all could have been avoided.”

“That would have also been an excellent choice. In any case, I’m glad the two of you managed to get in your Valentine’s dinner after all.”

His voice was dripping with sarcasm, and Tobias snorted in response.

“Yeah, well, I wasn’t going to miss out on our first Valentine’s Day. I am not going to miss out on any to follow either. No matter what obstacles are put in our way.”

Ethan’s jaw clenched. He took a deep breath and waited until he could answer with a more measured response. Both men were acutely aware of how childish they were behaving. It felt like the end at Hopkins all over again, and, honestly, both wanted to stop it.

“Well, I did ask you to treat her well. I’m happy to see that you’re doing so.”

Receptive to Ethan’s change in tone, Tobias responded in kind.

“Thanks, buddy,” both men were shocked that the words came from his lips. It had been quite some time. “I didn’t take that promise lightly, and I intend to keep it.”

Casey was reapplying her lipstick when Floria walked up to the sink next to her. She looked up from washing her hands and watched Casey meticulously apply layer upon layer. Truthfully, she was doing much more than she usually would, but she just needed a diversion. Anything to avoid talking to her.

“That’s a beautiful shade, Casey. Very flattering.”

“Thank you, a girl can never have too many shades of nude, right?”

“I suppose not. It’s lovely to see you and Tobias… so happy. You’re a very lucky woman.”

Casey’s looked at her guardedly from the corner of her eyes as she capped her lipstick and dropped it back into her purse. She took her time to blot and take in her appearance in the mirror before she responded.

“Yes,” she said with almost chilling calm, “I am. Thank you for noticing.”

“But how are you handling it all?”

“Handling what?”

“Come on, Casey. Working with Tobias and Ethan? I imagine it must be awkward as fuck. Oh, excuse my language, but then again, from a Baltimore girl to a Philly girl, I’m sure you can overlook it.”

Casey plastered on an obviously fake smile.

“I don’t think it’s a fitting conversation for us to be having, Floria. But, if it puts your mind at ease, we have been managing quite well.” She kept the so far, in her head.

“I’m delighted to hear it. I’m also happy to see that you and Tobias are out in the open now. I mean, if you’re in love, there is no reason to hide, right?”

Casey crossed her arms defensively. “We are in love, and we were never hiding it. That said, we weren’t required to make an announcement.”

“Nevertheless, it’s a good thing. It also gives Ethan the reassurance to move on himself. That is what you want, after all. Isn’t it?”

The pang in Casey’s stomach made her uncomfortable. It wasn’t the thought of Ethan moving on. It was the thought of him moving on with her. Despite everything that had happened between her and Ethan, she had spent too long caring for him, loving him, to just flip a switch and be indifferent. She couldn’t understand why he felt the need to pick her out of all the women in the world. Someone who nearly destroyed him and, frankly, Casey wasn’t so sure she wouldn’t do it again.

“Well, I’m so happy our being public is benefiting you, Floria. That was clearly in the forefront of our minds when we made the decision.”

A cynical smile crossed her face as she realized that Casey believed that she and Ethan were dating, and she wasn’t about to correct her.

“It is mutually beneficial, Casey. There is nothing wrong with that. You don’t want him back after all,” watched reaction closely.

“I’m happy with Tobias if that’s what you’re asking. I’m not a threat to you in any way. Now, if you don’t mind, I’d like to get back to him.”

“Of course, we wouldn’t want to keep the guys waiting.”

Floria followed on her heels. Casey gave Ethan a cursory smile as she walked by. Ethan and Tobias both took note of the tense look on Casey’s face and the sly smile on Floria’s as they returned to their respective tables.

“Did you get the check?” She asked Tobias before sitting.

“All taken care of, doll. You ready to head home?”

“More than,” she smiled.

Home. The word hit Ethan hard. Realistically, he knew that they lived together, but it just dawned on him. Now they lived together. Tobias loved her. He would show her off to the entire world if he could. He talked freely about a future together. She shared a bed with him… every night. In the space of a couple of months, Tobias got to a place that took him nearly four years before he tossed it away. For months he had wished he could go back to the night he ended things with Casey and do things differently, but right now, he realized that wouldn’t be enough. If he really wanted to do right by her, he would have had to go back to the beginning. She didn’t deserve a do-over from their end, she deserved one from their start, and his biggest regret, he’d never get to give it to her.

____________________

One month later

The coffee maker in the office wasn’t working, again. Casey marveled at how such an expensive machine that only four people in all of Edenbrook so much as knew about seemed to be broken all the time. She decided right there to replace it with a bare-bones Keurig, and the thought of the look of horror on Ethan’s face brought an impish smile to her face.

“Hey babe, here is your caffeine, at least your first cup.”

“Thanks for running out for this, hon. I’m still half asleep.”

“Well, you had a long day yesterday. I told you, you should have stayed over. Mom would have been delighted to have you.”

“Mmm,” she said, placing her coffee on the table. “Yeah, she’s already texted me a dozen times to let me know how unhappy she is.”

His eyebrows shot to his forehead, “She’s unhappy with you?” He asked defensively.

“No! Unhappy with the circumstances.”

“Well, she really loves you.”

“I would never have guessed!”

They both turned their heads toward the office door as it opened with a crash.

"Well, congratulations!" Harper beamed.

"Congratulations?"

"Obviously, you haven't seen the news?"

She threw a copy of the Boston Globe onto the table.

“Looks like Edenbrook has our own new celebrity!”

Casey’s jaw went slack.

“Holy… I knew he was listening to me. I knew it went well… but I didn’t have any idea that… this is amazing! I mean, it’s only a first step, but this is great news!”

“It sure is,” Ethan said, entering the room. He gently tapped Casey’s shoulder as he walked past her. “Congratulations are certainly in order. I think I can speak for all of us in saying we’re very proud of you.”

Tobias took the paper from Casey’s hand. A photo of her conversing with Rep. Kenner was on the cover. He read the accompanying headline aloud. “Rep. Kenner’s Meeting With Edenbrook Doctor Leads to Change in Course - Funding Cut Bill Could Be DOA.”

A pleasantly surprised look came to his face, though it was not lost on Casey that his exuberance didn’t begin to match that Harper or Ethan. She lowered her eyes for a quick moment when he gently touched her forearm.

“Good work, Case. I’m proud of you.”

“Thanks!” She beamed, “His office contacted me just this morning and invited me down to additional meetings, but they never mention that he reversed his opinion. This is great!”

“I never doubted you, but I have to admit, even I am amazed that you worked your magic this quickly,” Ethan smiled.

“Well, I don’t think it was magic. I just talked facts.” She turned to Tobias, “Do you think you could join me this time? They said they’d love the opinion of other physicians, and I think having another voice from our team could be invaluable. Especially one that happens to be Vivian Carrick’s son.”

His face fell instantly. “I don’t know, Casey. I don’t think having two doctors on the team away right now is a good idea.”

“It will be two days, tops. I’m sure we could even whittle it down to one, if necessary.”

“We can manage the workload with two,” Ethan added.

“I’ll tell you what. I’ll think about it.”

“Well, with that enthusiasm, you’re bound to hit a home run, Carrick. This is too important for our program and for those who can’t afford healthcare in general. I’ll tell you what, I’ll go. Casey, do you think it would be an issue?”

“I, I can’t see how having a world-renowned physician’s voice there would be a negative.”

“Then it’s settled. I’ll join you. Get me the details, and I’ll have Naveen’s office make the arrangements.”

Tobias’s jaw tightened as he fixed his stare out the window. He removed himself from the conversation as Ethan and Harper continued shower Casey with accolades. No matter how many times she attempted to engage him, the most she would receive was a curt nod. She saw the wall going up around him, but she couldn’t understand why.

____________________

Tensions seemed to have settled by the time they were home that evening. Casey slipped up behind Tobias as he washed the dishes after dinner. She wrapped her arms around his waist and placed her head on his shoulder.

“I will never understand. You have the most expensive dishwasher known to man sitting right there, yet you choose to do the dishes by hand every night.”

“It’s just the two of us. It seems silly to turn it on for a job that will take me less than ten minutes to complete.”

Tobias reached over and pulled a dishtowel off the knob of a nearby cabinet.

“And you, my beautiful love, are now officially on drying duty.”

“Damn, I knew I should have stayed inside,” she smirked.

The silence between them was perfectly comfortable, but Casey couldn’t get her mind off of this morning. It needed to be addressed.

“T. This morning, it didn’t look like you were happy about me going back to DC later this month.”

He placed the last dish in the drainboard and slowly dried his hands.

“That would be because I’m not.”

“Why? Is it because Ethan is going? Or…”?

“Casey, we’ve been through this. While I’m not crazy about you and Ethan going off on another trip, I trust you. It’s not that.”

“Well, I would have preferred if you would have stepped in and joined me. But that’s off the table now.”

He didn’t answer. The silence between them was no longer comfortable, and it lasted far too long.

“So?”

“Tobias, if it’s not that, then what is it?”

“Casey… that’s just not my life. It’s not my game… that’s all.”

“OK, but you’re not doing it. I am. It’s not exactly “my game” either. Medicineis my game. Helping people, healing people is my game. To me, this is just something that I need to do to help that along.”

“And that’s fine.”

“Then why the cold shoulder? I thought… I thought you’d be proud of me.”

“Come here,” he pulled her in his arms and kissed her forehead. “I am proud of you. I’m always proud of you. I just like to stay away from that world. Sure, it’s not me in it, but you’re are the woman in my life, and I know how easily people get sucked in. It’s just a matter of time before I’m heading off to dinners to you with some stuffed suit or another and… I’m not looking forward to it. That’s all.”

“I think you’re putting the cart before the course, Tobias.”

“Casey, I’m familiar with the world. You’re not. I want you to mark this night, mark it on the calendar because one day you’ll look back and see, I know what I’m talking about.”

“Well,” Casey said, squirming out of his embrace, “if the day should come, I’ll be more than happy to endure those events on my own. You know, I am more than capable of doing it without my boyfriend at my side. Though it would be nice to have him there.”

“I’m not suggesting that you aren’t capable, Casey. I know you are. And for the record, no, I am never going to watch as the woman I love fights passionately for what she believes in and not support her.”

“But that’s what you’re doing right now, T. I’m not feeling very supported. I’m feeling resented.”

He looked at the ceiling and let out a sigh. He knew she was right, and she deserved better than what he was giving. These were his issues, not hers.

“Then I have to do better. Because I am so proud of you. Your passion for what you believe in is one of the things I love the most about you. I promise I’ll be a more supportive partner.”

“I’d like that,” she said, falling back into his arms.

“So, when is this trip anyway?”

“Next week. I’m waiting on the dates, and it looks like we can limit it to an overnighter.”

“Well, that’s good because I hate sleeping without my baby. How about I take you to the airport this time. See you off. I should have done it last time.”

Her eyes brightened as she smiled up at him, “I’d like that. Thanks T.”

“Don’t mention it.”

____________________

“You’ve got your boarding pass?”

“Right here.”

“And you’ve contacted my mom? If she doesn’t see you this time, she may have a coronary.”

“Yes,” she chuckled, “I’m meeting her during our lunch break tomorrow. I am pretty sure she’ll be sitting outside of Kenner’s office waiting for me.”

“Oh, count on it,” he smiled. “It’s getting late. When is Ramsey supposed to get here?”

“Right now,” a deep voice barreled from behind him.

“Speak of the devil,” he said, turning to greet him. That’s when he saw Floria trailing behind. “Yeah, the devil.”

“Good morning to you too, Tobias.”

“It was,” he muttered to Casey, who jokingly smacked him in the chest.

“Surprised to see you here so early, Floria. You still have a long day of work ahead.”

“I told her I could have easily gotten a car. On the hospital's dime, no less.”

“Oh, it’s nothing. I’m normally up at this hour for my Pilates class, and skipping a day won’t hurt.”

“Hm, you never know,” Tobias snickered.

Ethan glowered in his direction, “I think she’ll be just fine.”

“I was joking,”

Jet Blue flight number 219 to DC will start boarding at gate 23…

“Well, that’s our cue,” Casey said.

Tobias gave her a hug and a quick peck on the cheek. “Please let me know when you’ve arrived?”

“I will,” she said, hesitant to let go.

She couldn’t easily show the same affection to Ethan, but Floria did find an opening.

“Ethan, come here,” she raised her hand and caressed his cheek. “You’ve got some powder there.”

“That’s what I get for indulging in a powdered doughnut for breakfast,” he grinned.

“Oh, you have to live a little,” she smiled. “Please be safe. I’ll pick you up tomorrow.”

“You don’t have to, I can….”

“Try to stop me. Besides, I loved the soup and grilled cheese stop on the way home last time I picked you up. I say we make that a tradition. Maybe you two could join us?” she grinned.

“I’ll be on the clock,” Tobias answered.

“Oh, too bad. Then maybe you could come, Casey? No need to rush home to an empty apartment.”

“I’ll see how I feel. I may want to rush home to a warm tub as much as I’d want to run home to Tobias.”

“I’m hurt!”

“Well, I’m joking!”

“We better go,” Ethan nodded.

“Yep, let’s do this.”

Tobias rolled on the balls of his feet as he watched Casey and Ethan make their way down the ramp. Floria made her way up and stood shoulder to shoulder next to him.

“This is getting to be a habit,” she sighed.

“What is?”

“The two of them… off on a trip together.”

“They work together. It’ll happen.”

“You should have gone.”

“What?”

“Ethan mentioned that he only stepped in to go because of your lack of enthusiasm to join Casey. What were you thinking?”

“Floria, how is any of this your business? It’s probably better for Ethan to be there representing the team.”

“Well, that is undeniable, but you could have avoided them getting more alone time.”

“I’m not worried. I trust Casey implicitly.”

“You’re full of it, Carrick.”

“Believe what you wish, Floria. I’m not going to change your mind anyway.”

“I’d reconsider if I were you. Should another occasion arise. You can act as nonchalant as you want, but those two had something special. Don’t delude yourself into believing it couldn’t spark again. I see how you look at her, and I know that’s the last thing you want.”

Tobias turned and stared down at Floria with eyes of stone.

“Then I’m sure you have seen how she looks at me, too. I don’t know what your game is here, but Casey and I are not some fling. I love her, she loves me, she sleeps at my side every night, we want a future together, and, most importantly, I trust her… with my life. I’m sorry if you don’t know what it’s like to share that, but that’s not my problem at all. I’m out of here.”

He went to walk away, but Floria grabbed the arm of his jacket. He quickly shrugged her off.

“Keep telling yourself that, Tobias. I’m not playing any game. I don’t care about the relationship between us. I couldn’t care less about it, but it could be mutually beneficial for us to work together here. Don’t be stupid, Tobias.”

“Stupid would be entertaining this, Floria. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to work.”

Floria slowly strolled to the large glass windows to watch as the plane carrying Ethan and Casey began to taxi toward the runway. A sardonic smile remained on her face as she sipped her coffee.

“You do that, Carrick, you do that.”

Permatags: @barbean @binny1985 @bluebelle08 @bluerosesbloom @brokenmemoriesblog @charisworld @chemist-ana @cokesbetterthanpepsi @crazy-loca-blog @custaroonie @everybodyscreamsposts @icecoffee90 @jamespotterthefirst @jennieausten @kachrisberry @kalinahonore @lady-calypso @mia143 @mjlbwork @mm2305 @phoenixrising308 @pixelberrygirl @potionsprefect @schnitzelbutterfingers @secretaryunpaid @shewillreadyou @shygirl4295 @socalwriterbee @thegreentwin @toadfrog26 @txfledglingscribe @wanderingamongthewildflowers

@choicesficwriterscreations

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jerzwriter · 3 years ago

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WIP Wednesday - Delaying the Inevitable

Here are some snippets that will all be in Chapter 28.

Enjoy :)

“You’re the talk of the hospital, you know?”

“I am?”

“Yes. You… and Dr. MacTavish. That was quite a win. It’s wonderful news for many hospitals and the communities they serve, including Kenmore.”

“We believe it will be, too,” he smiled.

“Of course… you’re not paying me to discuss healthcare policy. You’re paying me to help you heal and live a better life. And last we spoke, I thought we determined that any more trips with Dr. MacTavish would be a bad idea.”

“Yeah, about that. I was going to suggest that we revisit that approach.”

___________________

“I didn't say I'm moving, T! I just said I wanted to explore, and….”

“Explore? Where does exploring lead? God, Casey! You’re the woman I love. We share a home together. I thought you wanted a future together."

"I do!"

"Do you? Then why wouldn't you bring this up to me?"

"I’m bringing it up now, T.”

“After discussing it with how many others? Where do I rank?”

"That's not fair!"

"What's not fair is me finding out about this from your ex-boyfriend and my mother!"

___________________

"I'm really happy for you, Casey. I mean that."

She held onto his embrace a bit longer than she normally would have, and it had nothing to do with the cold Boston air.

"Thank you," she smiled, "I guess it's good to see that we have both moved on."

____________________

"Sienna, what's your schedule like? I need a freaking girls night... bad."

Permatags: @barbean @binny1985 @bluebelle08 @bluerosesbloom @brokenmemoriesblog @charisworld @cokesbetterthanpepsi @crazy-loca-blog @custaroonie @everybodyscreamsposts @genevievemd @icecoffee90 @jamespotterthefirst @jennieausten @kachrisberry @kalinahonore @lady-calypso @liaromancewriter @mia143 @mjlbwork @mm2305 @phoenixrising308 @pixelberrygirl @potionsprefect @schnitzelbutterfingers @secretaryunpaid @shewillreadyou @shygirl4295 @socalwriterbee @thegreentwin @toadfrog26 @wanderingamongthewildflowers @spookycolorpeanut

DTI Tags in reblog.

#reblog for tags

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jerzwriter · 3 years ago

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Reblog for additional tags (because tumblr sucks) DTI Tags: @animesuck3r @delicialola16-blog @dottie-minerva-mikas @gardeningourmet @larsterz @onikalover @rosilyjj @darkswagamerpiratecowboyclown @ianna47 @jc-ckie-blog @kiwiloss @mysticaurathings @personthatlovesshippings @scapsbru99 @shanzay44 @teenagecaliforniadreamers

DTI - Casey's Pros/Cons List

Last week, someone sent an ask for me to show Casey's pros/cons list in making her decision. I didn't think it was necessary/helpful at the time. But, this week I've gotten a few questions about how she made her decision, and what she is sacrificing by doing so, so I thought it might be helpful to see. So, here goes. Thanks for asking and I hope it's helps add context to the story.

I'm trying to tag only those who I know (think?) read/follow DTI and the DTI list. I'll also add it to the chapter for future readers.

@annoyingmillenialnewbie @anonymousrookie @binny1985 @bluerosesbloom @charisworld @custaroonie @genevievemd@icecoffee90 @jennieausten @kachrisberry @lady-calypso @liaromancewriter @pixelberrygirl @potionsprefect @schnitzelbutterfingers @secretaryunpaid @socalwriterbee @thegreentwin @spookycolorpeanut @mainstreetreader @aishwarya26 @coffeeheartaddict2 @differenttyphoonwerewolf @dorisz @youlookappropriate @rosebudde

#reblog

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jerzwriter · 3 years ago

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Reblog for additional Tags:

DTI Only: @delicialola16-blog @dottie-minerva-mikas @gardeningourmet @rosilyjj @ianna47 @jc-ckie-blog @kiwiloss @personthatlovesshippings @scapsbru99 @shanzay44 @teenagecaliforniadreamers

Ethan Only: @cryomyst @custaroonie @gryffindordaughterofathena @mysticaurathings @queencarb @sincerelyscarring @wanderingamongthewildflowers

Tobias Only: @icecoffee90

Chapter 32: The Things We Don't Say

Book: Open Heart 3 (Post Series)

Pairing: Tobias Carrick x MC, Ethan Ramsey x MC

Rating: Chapter: Teen

Summary: Extended Series WIP – Love Triangle. In this chapter – Tobias and Casey confront one another about the things they’ve discovered, how is their relationship impacted? The day of Naveen’s retirement party arrives, and it starts off beautifully, but it ends on a different note.

Category: Extended Series (WIP)

Warnings: Some cursing; arguing.

A/N: OK, we’re getting closer! Three more chapters after today, and while I will miss this series very much, I’m getting awfully excited. I hope you are too. I don’t feel like I have much to say here today, which means I’m likely forgetting something. As always, feel free to shoot me any questions you may have. And thank you for continuing this journey with me!

A/N 2: This song reminds me of Tobias and Casey’s dilemma at the beginning of the chapter, but it even reminds me of Ethan and Casey’s relationship in some ways. So I thought I’d share it with you. Heavy by Anne Marie.

Most characters belong to Pixelberry.

SERIES MASTERLIST

“Let’s make some time tonight. There are some things I want to discuss.”

Tobias attempted to be careful with his words when he spoke to Casey. He knew what “We need to talk” had led to for her in the past. In fact, he helped her to clean up the emotional aftermath. He would never want to put her in that place, but, yes, they needed some time tonight. What he didn’t expect was her reply.

“Yes, I think that’s best.”

Now he was the one left wondering.

He sat in the dimly lit living room, leaning far back in his chair, staring at the ceiling. Casey sat a good distance away on the couch, her hands where the object she chose to peer at to avoid his eyes. The silence lingered as each wondered who would be the first to speak. During that time, they realized that the workday, which had seemed endless, and the nearly wordless ride home, were only precursors for the discomfort they felt right now. Tobias finally broke the stand-off. Leaning forward, he reached into his back pocket and removed the folded list he had carried around all day. He tossed it onto the coffee table in front of Casey with a soft thud.

“I found this earlier today.” His voice was soft but firm. “I wasn’t snooping. You wrote your note on the folder this was in, and I accidentally knocked it to the ground. It wasn’t my intention to invade your privacy, but I can’t say I’m sorry I found it.”

Although she knew what it was at first sight, Casey picked up the folded sheet, opening slowly before gazing at it as if she hadn’t memorized its content. The right words were not coming to her, so Tobias continued.

“Casey, you lied to me,” he whispered. “You told me I wasn’t the only reason for your decision, but it looks like I was. Part of me is touched to know that I mean this much to you, but most of me feels guilt, sadness, and disappointment. Why weren’t you honest with me?”

She folded the paper back up and placed it back on the table. She wished she hadn’t needed to write it down. Given its imbalance, she could have easily committed it to memory instead. Even now, she wished she could hide the truth.

“I… How could I, Tobias? How could I not? I knew this would react, and the choice had to be mine. The reasons for my decision were really no one’s concern but my own. I’m not ashamed, but I knew it would upset you.”

“So you decided to be dishonest with me? Just because it would upset me? Is that what you plan to do in our relationship when there is something you think I won’t want to hear?”

“No. Not… just this time.”

“How can I believe that? And how do you expect me to be OK with you throwing your dreams… your life.. .away because of me? I made that clear to you from the beginning, I love you, and I don’t want to hold you back… that’s not love is.”

“You had your reasons for not going,” she answered curtly. “It’s not like you were just trying to impede me.”

“Reasons aside, you can’t throw you’re an opportunity this big away because of my shortcomings.”

“Well, I did! My career will be fine one way or another. I don’t need this job to have a brilliant career. But you… you’re not replaceable, and I want a life with you, and if that means some sacrifice on my part, so be it.”

“But I love you too much to....”

“You love too much…,” she interrupted, moving from contrition to defensiveness. “I get it. But what choice did you leave me? You love me so much, Tobias, but you didn’t love me enough to do anything to even try to make it work. You didn’t offer one solution. It was just I can’t go, and you have a choice to make. It was clear that I'd lose you if I took this offer and I wasn’t… I’m not willing to pay that price. But you know what hurts, you were. You were willing to pay it. You claim to love me so much, but you didn't even try to find a solution. We had one conversation, and it was over. You can’t tell me we couldn’t have at least found a way to try.”

“That’s not fair!”

“Isn’t it? Tell me the lie.”

“You don’t get to tell me how much I love you. You don’t get to tell me how much the thought of losing you was destroying me. I was making moves. I was trying to think of ways to make it work… you don’t know the extent I was willing to go to!”

“What, what are you talking about?”

“I was trying to see about getting a position at Hopkins,” he yelled. “OK? It’s 90 minutes from DC. It wouldn’t have been perfect if we found a place to live at a halfway point… we’d both have long commutes, we’d probably have to spend some nights away from home, but… it was certainly better than losing you.”

Casey’s face fell as she sunk back into the couch, her jaw slacked at the news she just heard.

“You… what? When… when were doing all this?”

“It was a process. I started before you went to DC. I wasn’t sure if it would come to be, so I didn’t bring it up. I didn’t wait to get your hopes up and then have nothing come of it.”

“You’re rationalizing! Stop! You’re sitting here accusing me of lying, of withholding from you… and you’re right, I did. But you were doing the exact same thing to me!”

“It’s not the same!”

“It damn well is! You let me make one of the biggest decisions of my life without knowing all the facts! You were doing all this, and you left me to think that you just didn’t care! At minimum, it would have been nice to know you were trying, and then I wouldn’t have felt so alone in my decision.”

“You weren’t alone.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You weren’t alone. You were turning to Ethan. I know you were calling him, that he had much more information than I did, and it made me feel like shit! How do you think I felt knowing the woman I love more than life itself chose to go to her ex-boyfriend over me to make a choice that would impact both of our lives forever?”

“Tobias! Ethan is not just my ex! He’s also my boss and my mentor, and….”

“And that bond will always be there, I get it. But he got to be on the inside, and I was on the out.”

“You gave no indication that you wanted to be on the inside! When I returned with this life-changing decision, you cared so little that you could put it off hearing it until the end of the day! Yet Ethan couldn’t wait to know. How do you think that made me feel?”

“What did Ethan have to lose? A member of his team? He already had resumes stacked on his desk, and he could replace you. But I can’t. He already lost you, and maybe the idea of seeing me lose you too was even a plus for him. Did you ever think of that? His input may not have been all that unbiased.”

“Tobias, I….”

“Don’t tell me I’m wrong. Even if he wasn’t doing it consciously, it could have impacted his thoughts.”

“You’re right. It could have, but I don’t think it did. And that doesn’t diminish the fact that you weren’t there, and that’s not Ethan’s fault.”

“And it’s not all mine either. You didn’t include me, Casey, and I didn’t feel like you wanted me there.”

“Well, I did! I’m sorry if I didn’t show it, but I did! But I have to ask you, who were you turning to if you were hurting so much? You weren’t coming to me, so who were you turning to?”

“Why do I feel like I’m being accused?”

“I’m not accusing…” she stammered, “… but I’m concerned. Who is Angelica, T? And why is she calling you in the middle of the night? And why can’t you give me a straight answer when I ask who she is? And why is my ‘sticking around’ or not of concern to her? It sure sounds like you’ve been turning to her, and I don’t even know who she is!”

“Are you… you’re going through my phone now?”

“No! Are you kidding me? If the day comes when I feel the need to go through your phone, then we wouldn’t have a relationship to speak of. But you left your phone home, and I went to turn it off because, once again, she was ringing at one in the morning. When I shut it off, I saw her message. And, how do you think it made me feel?”

“Casey, Angelica is an old friend from Hopkins. Yes, we dated briefly a million years ago. But that is so in the past I doubt she even remembers. I called her because she is the Senior VP of Medical Affairs now. I pitched a research project I thought would be mutually beneficial. It would have required them to create a new team, get a budget approved… it was a major long shot which is why I didn’t want to share it with you.”

“But… but her text said she still wanted you, it could still be a good thing… T… did they decide to do it?”

“Yes. Yes, they did.”

“And you still didn’t tell me!”

“I only found out after you made your choice, so it was moot at that point. You said you wanted to stay, and frankly, I did too. But now I’m learning that might not have been the case.”

“Well, if I had known there was a viable plan where we could still be together, where we could make it work, as a couple, I might have come to a different decision! That’s how two people who want a future together are supposed to decide things!”

“Yeah, well, I’m not proud of how I handled this. But I was not the only one acting alone in this.”

“No. You weren’t.”

Tobias’s head fell into his hands. “We fucked up, Casey. It was our first test as a couple, and we failed.”

“We certainly could have done better,” Casey replied as her mind went back to her conversation with her mother.

“How did this happen?” he gasped. “How did we get here? We’ve always been so honest with one another, long before we were together. That’s one of the things I treasured about our friendship and now… look at us.”

“Well, in fairness, the stakes are a lot higher now. We stand to lose a lot more, so we foolishly tried to protect each other, and we ended up hurting each other more instead.”

“So, where does that leave us?”

“ It leaves us as a couple who is really just starting out, and we have to learn to do better. It’s a difficult lesson, but we learn and move on. Did you really think we’d never hit bumps in the road?”

“I knew we would. I guess I just expect to flub so spectacularly on the first try. Especially with something this big.”

Casey moved next to him and took his hand in hers. “So, we’ll do better next time,” she smiled sadly.

Tobias squeezed her hand, and kissed her cheek, worry still etched on his face.

“Can you promise me something? Please. It’s something we promised each other when we started, as us.”

“What is it?”

“Promise me our friendship always comes first. That we’ll never lose that, even if we don’t work out. Promise me that?”

Casey dropped his hid and retreated. It was impossible to ignore the look of horror on her face or the way her eyes immediately flooded with tears.

“Are you… are you thinking of leaving me?” she gasped.

“No! No! God, no!” He pulled her back to him, holding her close. “It’s just that when I was staring down the reality that I could lose you, the idea of losing you as a lover, as a partner, it was ripping me in half. But the idea of losing you, as a friend, losing you forever… that just killed me.”

He placed his hand on her cheek, turning her face to look at him.

“I never want there to be a time when you will not be a part of my life. I treasured from the day I met you, in every role you’ve played… I can’t… I can’t ever lose you, Casey.”

“I never want to lose you, T. If my decision didn’t prove that, I don’t know what can.”

“I promise, I’ll never let you go.”

“Good,” she smiled with relief as she fell into his arms.

“So, have you changed your mind? About the job? Should I call Angelica after all?”

“No. I already gave my answer.”

“Yeah, well, my uncle would not only accept you calling and saying he was right, and you were wrong. He’d revel in it. Trust me, you’d still have the opportunity.”

“No,” she answered confidently. “I made my choice, and I’m sticking with it.”

“It’s what you want?”

“I wouldn’t have made that decision if it were not.”

He let out a breath he had been holding. His lips placed a gentle kiss atop her head.

“We can’t let this happen again,” she whispered.

“We won’t. I’m sorry, Casey. I promise to be honest from now on, even if it hurts.”

“And I’ll do the same,” she smiled. “Now, why don’t you cook dinner tonight to make up for it.”

Tobias chuckled, “Deal. But you do the dishes to make for up.”

“You drive a hard bargain, but deal.”

And with that, the night turned back to normal.

__________

A couple weeks had passed, and Boston was blossoming. The weather was staying consistently warm, the days were longer, and it felt like the frigid winter was finally behind them. That feeling of joy and rebirth was apparent within the walls of Edenbrook. Everyone seemed happy and more alive, even as they prepared to say goodbye to Naveen. The man himself was filled with a levity most had never witnessed before. In his last days there, he realized how much he had been missing out on, and he was eager to embrace it all.

The same could not be said for all of those who had come to love him throughout the years. Yes, they were happy for him, but they knew his absence would leave an empty space that no one could fill. No one felt the impending loss more than Ethan. He tried to hide it, and he was successful in doing so with most, but when it came to Harper, Tobias, Casey, and Naveen himself, any attempt to cover was futile.

The other diagnostic team members went out of their way to be there for him. The whole team sat in the office, doing their best to keep the mood light with Naveen’s last day upon them and the party just a day away. Casey smiled as the late day sun shined in on them. Despite everything they had been through, they all had a bond that went beyond work, they cared for each other, loved each other, and when push came to shove, they always had each other’s backs.

“… so I told the guy, if that’s how you’re going to treat me, you’re going to at least have to take me out to dinner first… and I’m sure my girlfriend will have a problem with that.”

Harper and Ethan laughed heartily at Tobias’s joke as Casey rolled her eyes with a whimper. The story was still funny, but after the third time…

“It must be a joy living with this comedian in the house,” Harper smiled.

“It has its plusses,” Casey winked.

“Well, Harper, let’s go wrap up our cases so we can get the hell out of here for the day.”

“I’m with you, Tobias. We all a long drive to the party, and we can use a little rest before we go.”

“Case, page me when you’re ready to go?”

“You got it,” she smiled.

The office went quiet when they closed the door behind them. Ethan was engrossed in his e-mails, and Casey continued her research for a challenging case she was trying to crack. Occasionally she’d peek up at him, finally walking over and taking a seat in the chair by his desk.

“Yes,” he said inquisitively as he turned to her.

“How are you doing? Really.”

He took off his glasses and placed them on his desk, letting out a slow sigh.

“Truthfully, better than I had expected. I honestly never expected the man to retire, and being here without his presence, the only time that’s ever happened was when….”

“I know,” Casey said with a knowing smile. “But it’s different this time. He’s not leaving because he’s dying. In many ways, he’s leaving so he can finally live.”

The look on Ethan’s face softened, and he looked at Casey with a tenderness he rarely displayed.

“You’re right. You always know how to put things… in perfect context.”

“I’m glad I could help.”

“You always do. I know I don’t say it often enough, but I’m truly lucky. To have you, and Harper, and… yes… even Tobias,” he laughed. “We have a great team. Not only do we have one of the strongest knowledge bases there is within these four walls, but we also have….”

“…. our own little family,” Casey finished.

She saw tears come to his eyes as he swallowed. “Yeah,” he said softly, “I guess we are. And we’re losing grandpa,” he laughed.

“Oh, stop it!” Casey tossed her pen at him. “Grandpa’s not going away. He’s going fishing for a change.”

“I know, I know. Hey, Casey?”

“Yes.”

“I know I was… disappointed that you chose to turn the offer down.”

“Hmmm. That’s putting it mildly.”

Ethan smirked at her sarcasm. “I was thinking of your career. But, selfishly, I’m glad you stayed.”

Casey smiled and reached over, placing her hand over his.

“I’m glad too.”

She jumped back when the door opened with a loud crash.

“Jesus, Jackie!” Casey exclaimed, bringing her hand to her chest. “Are you trying to scare the hell out of me?”

“No, but it’s a bonus. I just wanted to let you know that I had to cancel my patient’s MRI. I know you’ve been waiting for a spot for your guy in 421. But if you want it, I’d move quickly. The piranhas are already circling to take it.”

“Crap,” Casey jumped, “that’s my slot. Tell them to stand back!”

“That’s my girl,” Jackie said, patting her friend on the back as she reached the door.

“Oh, wait!” Ethan yelled, “Casey, before you go, I wanted to tell you about the location of tomorrow’s party….”

“Uh-huh,” she turned around winded. “Don’t worry. Tobias said he has the address. We’ll find it!”

“Yes, but I wanted to let you know where it is.”

“It’s on the Cape,” she smiled, “we have the address.”

“I see Zaid circling, and he’s a worthy competitor,” Jackie scolded.

“Ethan… I gotta go!”

_____

The drive to the party would take about an hour, and all attendees were up early and ready to go. They could not ask for a more beautiful day, bright sunshine, and not a cloud in the sky. The mood could not be more jovial.

“I can’t believe I’m saddled in the back seat with you,” Jackie complained from the backseat of Tobias’s car.

“You know, most people would be delighted that my car is in the shop, allowing them to look at this profile,” he struck a pose,” the entire length of the trip.”

Tobias looked in the rearview mirror and chuckled.

“Hey, Lahela, you want to tone it down just a little back there? If your head swells any more, I’m gonna have to put the top down. And Casey doesn’t like convertibles on the highway!”

“Thank you, Tobias!” Jackie exclaimed, “I always did like you.”

“You thought he was an asshole,” Bryce accused as everyone laughed.

“It’s OK, Jackie. I was an asshole. Still am sometimes, if we’re being honest.”

“Yeah, but you’re my asshole, baby,” Casey teased.

“Damn right,” Tobias said, bringing her hand to his lips for a kiss.

“How is Si getting there?” Jackie asked.

“She went with Harper and Aurora earlier in the day. You know she would have an anxiety attack if she didn’t get to help with the decorations. And Elijah is driving down with Raf.”

“Good, the gang will all be there,” Tobias smiled. “It’s going to be a good day!”

_____

“Son, I hate that you came so far out of your way to get me. I could have driven there on my own.”

“Dad, stop. It’s no big deal.”

“It’s an hour out of your way! That’s a big deal!”

“Do you hear me complaining?”

“No.”

“Then stop doing it yourself.”

Sonia smiled brightly as she turned to the back seat. “Mr. Ramsey, I’d give up if I were you. I don’t know him all that long, and I know he’s stubborn as a mule.”

“You don’t have to tell me twice,” Alan laughed, “And please, don’t call me Mr. Ramsey. You are making me feel ancient. Call me Alan.”

“Well, thank you, Alan, and you can call me Sonia.”

“That’s what I’ve been calling you.”

“I know,” she winked, “but now we’re confirming.”

“Are you calling him Ethan now?”

“Oh hell no! I wouldn’t dream of calling Everett here, Ethan.”

“You know, one day you’re going to run out of names,” Ethan announced.

“That’s what the internet is for Everett! Now pay attention to driving.”

Alan laughed heartily, catching Ethan’s eyes as he shot his father a look in the rearview mirror.

“What, she’s funny. And you invited her, so you must agree.”

“Hmmm… she’s funny, all right.”

_____

Back in Tobias’s car, the four friends were in a fit of laughter as they had finished a raucous sing-along to Bohemian Rhapsody.

“Ah, that never gets old,” Tobias smiled.

“But it’s so much more fun when you have hair for the headbanging part, T. Next time, I’ll bring you a wig.”

“You know, Lahela, it’s a hell of a walk home from Sandwich.”

“You’d never abandon me, T. You love me too much.”

“He’s not lying,” Casey interjected, “You’re the only one I get jealous of.”

“And with good reason,” Bryce winked.

“Hey, hon, you have to get to the right lane. We’ll be getting off the highway at the next exit.”

“Will do co-captain!”

A perplexed look spread over Casey’s face as they turned onto the local road. Tobias noticed at once.

“Hey, princess. Everything OK?”

“Yeah, it’s just… have any of you been to this place before?”

“Where they're having the party?” Jackie inquired. “No. All I know is it is at a beach house.”

“Do you know whose?”

“Nope. I don’t ask questions when I’m offered a day at the beach with free food and booze,” Jackie replied quickly.

Bryce nodded in agreement. “As much as I hate to do, I’m inclined to agree with her.”

Tobias squeezed Casey’s hand. “You ok?” he whispered.

“Yeah, I’m fine, it all just looks so… familiar….”

“Maybe it’s from when we went to Martha’s Vineyard intern year?” Bryce offered.

“No, we took a different route. No matter, it’s just… odd.”

They continued chatting as they neared the home. Casey was so engrossed in the conversation that she did not take notice of the long gravel driveway that led up to the beach house. But as Tobias parked, she swung around in her seat, and it looked as if she had seen a ghost.

“Case? You OK?” Jackie asked as they stepped out of the car.

“Case?” Tobias asked after she didn’t answer.

“Uh, yeah. Yeah. Everything’s fine,” she said, grabbing Tobias’s hand. “Do you have Naveen’s gift?”

“Getting it out of the trunk!” Bryce yelled, “I’ve got it. You two can just go on using your hands on each other.”

“Ewww. Gross! Bryce, don’t you know better than to encourage these two of all people?”

“I just like making you squirm, Jackie,” he smiled.

The mood remained light as they walked to the house for everyone except Casey, but she covered it well.

“Casey! Tobias!” Naveen yelled as they walked up the steps to the beautifully decorated patio.

“And Jackie and Bryce!” Jackie yelled sarcastically.

“I was getting to that,” Naveen grinned. “Thank you all so much for coming.”

“There’s no place else we’d rather be,” Tobias said, tugging Casey closer under his arm.

“You got a nice turnout!” Bryce enthused, looking over the patio to the beach where a lovely tent had been set up, with lounge chairs scattered all around. “You need the beach, the patio, and the house to hold all your guests.”

“Well,” Naveen laughed, “I doubt they will all be filled at once, but please, make yourself comfortable. Go get a drink. It’s my understanding that the bar-b-que will be starting shortly.”

“Yes, and no hot dogs and burgers,” Harper announced as she stepped out onto the deck. “We’re talking Filet Mignon, shrimp, and lobster tails.”

Jackie’s eyes lit up. “Oh, sign me up!”

“Hey, Harper, as lovely as that sounds, I’m a simple man, and I like a juicy burger,” Tobias chided.

“Which is exactly why we’re having those too, much to Ethan’s chagrin. Just for you.”

“Hmmm. Speaking of Ethan,” Casey inquired, “Has anyone seen him?”

“I believe he’s on the beach, but he may have run out to the store. We were a little low on ice. But I do see Alan and Sonia out there, so if he’s anywhere, he’s probably near them.”

Tobias removed his sunglasses, and his eyes lit up. “Oooh, Sonia. I have got to go meet this woman he refuses to tell me anything about. Coming, babe?”

“No, you go ahead. I’m going to go to the bathroom and then get a drink. I’ll meet you out there soon.”

“You got it, sweetheart,” he said, kissing her forehead.

“Tobias!” Naveen yelled after him, “Go easy. We don’t want to scare her away!”

Jackie made her way over to Casey. “Hey, you OK?”

“Uh, yeah. Yeah. Aren’t you going to go hit up the bar?”

Sensing something was very off with her friend, she shook her head no. “I think I’ll go to the bathroom with you first. We can get a drink after.”

Jackie slid the patio door open, and they stepped into the cozy living room.

“Damn, this place is adorable,” Jackie enthused.

But Casey looked as if she had been punched in the gut. “Yeah, it is,” she replied with no emotion.

“OK. What’s going on, Casey? And don’t tell me nothing.”

Casey’s eyes surveyed the room, then she took Jackie by the arm.

“Come over here,” she said, leading her to an empty corner.

“OK, Case. What gives?”

Casey took in a deep breath and let it out slowly before she could speak. “This is… this is the beach house Ethan took me to last memorial day. The day we left here was the day that he asked me to move in with him, and I….”

“And he didn’t tell you that he was having the party here?”

Casey shot her a look.

“Stupid question. Of course, he didn’t,” Jackie answered her own question. “Are you OK?”

“Yeah. Yeah. I’m just a little taken off guard. I can’t believe he’d just let me come here without….”

“He did ask you to stay behind yesterday when we were leaving the office. Remember? He said he had to tell you something about the location.”

“Yeah, the day before! He’s known it’s going to be here for weeks!”

“Why don’t you go talk to him?”

“No. That’s the last thing I want to do. In fact, if you see him anywhere near me today, promise me you will run interference.”

“Girlfriend’s honor,” Jackie said with a small salute. “Now, come on. Bathroom and then I’m getting you a well-deserved drink.”

_____

“Hey!” Tobias yelled with his signature swagger as he approached Sonia, who was flanked by Ethan and Alan on the beach. “Is this the lovely Sonia I have been dying to learn more about?”

“Ah, you must be the lovely Tobias that Ethan has been telling me to avoid,” Sonia grinned.

“You know, Buddy, I’m hurt.”

“Stop acting like you have feelings, Tobias,” Ethan deadpanned.

“Tobias, nice to see you,” Alan said, extending his hand.

“Always.”

“Is Casey with you?” Ethan asked.

“Back at the house… bathroom, you know… long ride… refused to use the restroom at the gas station.”

“Mmm. You know, do you mind if I step away? I need to check on something for the bar-b-que.”

“No, not at all,” Sonia answered, “I am dying to see if Tobias is as scary as you say or if you’re just a wimp.”

“It’s the latter,” Alan laughed.

“Oh, I found the right crowd to hang with today,” Tobias laughed as Ethan walked away.

Ethan walked toward the house quickly. He was just about to step onto the pathway leading to the patio when Casey opened the patio door. Spotting him before he saw her, she quickly closed the door and returned inside. Since she was familiar with the layout of the beach home, she headed downstairs to exit from the lower level. They played this game of cat and mouse all afternoon, Ethan desperate to talk to her so he could explain, and Casey avoiding him at all costs. Her emotions were so raw that she was nearly trembling. She was furious at him for not giving her fair warning, leaving her blindsided instead. She knew he didn’t intend to hurt her. He was just stupid. She didn’t know how such a brilliant man could be so…. stupid. But she no longer had it in her to care. Being hurt by Ethan because he wasn’t thinking was something she had experienced enough. It was part of her past now, and she vowed she would never allow him to do it to her again. Except, right now, he was, and she felt helpless to do anything about it.

She spent most of the party chatting briefly with others here, making a quick exit whenever she felt Ethan’s presence nearby. It was exhausting. Everyone was having such a lovely time, laughing, dancing, and sharing stories. She refused to do anything to ruin the day for Naveen. She adored him far too much to do anything to sully the memory of this day for him. But she felt like a powder keg about to explode, and Ethan was the flame that could cause her to erupt. So if exhausting herself to avoid him was what she needed to do, so be it.

As dusk began to fall, she saw an old lounge chair discarded on the far side of the house. Knowing no one would be coming over here, she sunk into it, figuring she could finally get a little rest. But she was only there minutes when she heard Tobias’s voice bellowing from behind.

“Baby, where have you been? I’ve been looking all over for you.”

“Oh… I… I have a bit of a headache, so I just wanted to get away from the noise for a bit.”

“I’m sorry,” he said, rubbing her arms, “I wish you had told me. I would have come with you.”

“It’s OK,” she smiled, “you were having such a nice time. I didn’t want to ruin it for you.”

“As if you could ever ruin anything for me. Do you want to leave?”

“Oh, no. I’ll just stay to myself for a bit if that’s OK.”

“If that’s what you want, but why stay here? The mosquitos will likely be biting soon. I’m sure it would be OK if you went and rested in the bedroom inside….”

“NO!” She exclaimed, taking Tobias by surprise. “No, I’m fine here. Really. Besides, they’re going to have the cake soon and the toasts before that, so I’ll be over shortly.”

“You’re sure you’re OK here alone?”

“I’m positive.”

He leaned over and kissed her forehead, then tapped the phone she held in her hand. “If you need me, you call me right away, OK?”

“I will,” she said, kissing his cheek. “I love you, Tobias.”

“I love you too, kid.”

Not long after that, she stood among the gathered crowd, clutching Tobias’s hand, as people took turns toasting Naveen. Casey had planned on doing so as well, but the way she felt now, she decided against it. She made sure to keep herself surrounded by as many people as possible. This way, she wouldn’t get cornered by Ethan, and, as the night progressed, she started to relax a bit. Fortune smiled on her as Ethan never crossed her path. Even as she talked with Sonia. Casey really liked her. She wondered if this was a date. It had to be, right? And then she wondered if Ethan had bothered to share the significance of this place with her. Feeling her blood starting to boil again, Casey politely excused herself from the conversation and made her way inside. Everyone was outside now, and she wanted some peace. She went to the second-floor bathroom, no one seemed to know of its existence, and she locked herself inside.

Ten minutes. I just need ten minutes alone.

When the ten minutes passed, she opened the door slowly, making sure no one was around, then she made her way down the stairs, smiling a little as she was reminded about how much they creaked. She flipped on a light to cross the small room that would take her to the living room when she heard his voice behind her.

“Casey, do you have a minute?”

His voice sent chills throughout her body. She was frozen in place.

Do you have a minute?

The tone of his voice was too reminiscent of another time he asked her to speak. That time, she watched her life unravel in the hours that followed. Her heart faced, and she felt her breath quicken. She considered heading for the door. She could pretend she didn’t hear him. She could completely ignore him if she wanted to. But she reassured herself that she was stronger than that. He didn’t have the power to send her life into a freefall anymore. So despite her clammy skin and the knots in her stomach, she slowly turned around to face him.

“A minute? You want a minute? I assure you anything I have to say to you right now would take much more than a minute, and I have no intention of ruining Naveen’s party.”

“We don’t have to ruin Naveen’s party….”

“Wouldn’t we?” She snapped. “Or are you taking advantage of the fact that I’ll be polite and back away? That you can say your piece and be done with it?”

“Casey, I’ve spent the bulk of my day trying to track you down as you did your best to evade me. I didn’t do that so I could dismiss you.”

“I evaded you because I’m so angry I could smack you right now! Why, Ethan, why the hell didn’t you tell me the party was here? Did you think I wouldn’t remember it? Or did you think our time here was insignificant that it wouldn’t matter to me?”

“I didn’t think either, and I tried to tell you.”

“YESTERDAY! You tried to tell me YESTERDAY! How long have you known where it was going to be? And even if the brilliant idea that telling me might be a good move only came to you yesterday, you couldn’t call me last night? Shoot me a text? Or was it more fun to let me walk out of the car and find out on my own? What’s hurting me one more time at this point, right?”

“You have to believe me. I didn’t intend to hurt you.”

“Well, you did!” She shouted. She closed her eyes and breathed slowly, trying to gather her emotions before continuing. “You did, and I swore upon everything sacred to me that I was done with allowing you to hurt me. Yet here we are! What the hell possessed you to hold the party here anyway?”

“Naveen loves the water and….”

“And this is the only freaking place in all of Massachusetts that is by the water?”

“Casey, I had limited time. Every place Harper and I called was already booked. It’s a busy time of year, and I had this available.”

“I know it’s a former colleague’s house, but still you couldn’t….”

“It’s not a former colleague's house, Casey. Not anymore. It’s mine. I bought it.”

“You… you what?”

“I bought it. Not long after we stayed here, Bob told me he was considering selling, and I mentioned I’d be interested. When he put it on the market recently, he called me and… I bought it.”

Casey looked like she had been physically wounded. Shock, rage, hurt, disbelief, confusion… there were too many emotions surfacing at once. She leaned on a chair to steady herself.

“You bought… you bought it?”

“Yes.”

“This… this house… you bought it?”

“Casey… I….”

“Does this place mean anything to you, Ethan? Does it have any significance at all? Or did our time here mean nothing to you? Is it just a freaking beach home, like any other? Because to me, it meant something to me! When I look around, all I can remember is our time here. The promises we made to each other, promises soon thrown away. You asked me to move in with the day we left. Do you even remember?”

“Of course I remember, Casey! Of course I do! How could I ever forget? That’s the reason I bought this place. I didn’t even want a beach home. I bought it because I wanted this beach home.”

“Why?”

“Because,” he stopped and took a deep breath. “Do you remember when we stood out on the deck that night? And we watched the sun go down? Remember I told you that I was becoming the man I wanted to be?”

Casey nodded as angry tears brimmed in her eyes.

“I meant it. But I… detoured… I detoured badly. I hurt you, and I destroyed us. But, Casey, I want to be that man, I do, and I’ve been working so hard to get there.”

“And you needed to buy this house in order to become that man? This is what stood between you and that progress?”

“NO! I bought this house because of you! This house isyou, Casey. Don’t you see? I thought you were leaving Boston, even now that you’re not. You’re still gone, Casey. To me, in one way or another… you’re gone. You’re out of my life, and you’ll probably only go further away in time. And I… I had to do whatever I could to find something that bonds me to you. That keeps you close to me because there is no way I could ever lose you for good.”

“What are you saying?”

“That man that I wanted to be. The one I want to…no, the one I will be! I just wish I could have been that man for you. If I had, we’d be together, we’d be happy, we’d be on our way to DC, and we’d be….”

“NO! NO! You stop right there! That’s not fair! What are you insinuating? That you’d do that for me and that Tobias won’t? Well, you don’t get to comment on that. You don’t! Do you know what Tobias never did to me? He never tossed me out of his life like I meant nothing. He never left me to wander the goddamn streets while I was in no condition to be alone, only to check up on me hours later! He never did that to me! He loves me! So what the hell gives you the right to comment on us? What gives you the goddamn right….”

“Because I love you, Casey! All right! Because I love you. I never stopped, not for a moment, and I’ve tried, believe me, I’ve tried. I thought I let you go, I did, but when I thought you were leaving… I had to face the reality I wouldn’t see you every day. I might not see you ever again, and the pain that I felt when I lost you, I felt it all over again. I was losing you all over again. So I had to buy this place. I had to buy this place because it was the only way that I could think of to keep you in my life. Because I love you, Casey. And I couldn’t let you go.”

She stood trembling before him. Doing all that she could to keep the tears welling in her eyes from falling. But, despite her best efforts, they betrayed her and rolled down her flushed cheeks. The uncomfortable silence lingered too long.

“Casey, say something, please.”

“How dare you!” she seethed. “How fucking dare you!”

“Casey…I…” he said, taking a step closer to her.

“No! No! Stay the hell away from me. I swear to God! I’m beginning to think that the only reason you exist is to destroy me! Do you have some sort of radar that picks up when I am happy so you can swoop in and fuck it all up?”

“Casey, that’s not….”

“It’s not? Because from where I’m standing, that’s how it feels! What is it? Do you see me happy? You see I’m in love and it’s too much for you? You don’t get to, Ethan! You don’t get to just say whatever the hell you feel like saying to make yourself feel better. Does it bother you that I’m happy? Can you just let me be happy?”

“I want you to be happy….”

“No, you don’t! No, you don’t! If you wanted me to be happy, you wouldn’t keep hurting me! You wouldn’t have held the party here! You wouldn’t have blindsided me! And you certainly wouldn’t tell me you still love me! Hereof all places! With my boyfriend, your friend standing outside talking to your date! That’s love, Ethan? That’s wanting to make me happy?”

“You know, Casey. Maybe I was acting impulsively, but perhaps you should ask yourself why you’re this upset.”

“Excuse me?”

“Why are you reacting like this? If you’re happy, why is this upsetting you this much?”

“Do not try to turn this into something else! I’m this upset because I’ve been in a precarious emotional state all day! Do you think I’m not human? That I don’t have a heart? That being here wouldn’t remind me of a hundred memories, then you dump ‘I love you’ on me? Do you think because I survived your Amazon bullshit and then throwing me away, I can survive anything? Well, that’s not true! I can break! I CAN! But I’m not giving you the ability to do it to me ever again.”

“Casey….”

“No! We’re done talking. No more talking if we’re not at work, do you understand? From this moment on, I am NOTHING to you. I’m your coworker until I find another job, which I will be doing. Out of respect to Tobias, who is so happy to be rebuilding a friendship with you, I will be polite when I have to be near you, but you are not my friend. If it were up to me, I’d never lay eyes on you again.”

Casey stormed out of the room and made her way outside. She went back to the side of the house to gather herself, but not before being spotted by Jackie and Sienna who rushed over to her.

“Hey, what’s going on? Are you OK?” Sienna asked.

“No,” Casey whispered. “I’m not.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” Sienna replied.

Casey eyed Jackie and nodded.

“Si, this is the beach house Ethan took Casey to on Memorial Day, and she didn’t know the party was here until she arrived today.”

“Oh my… that must be hard. Casey, I’m so sorry, but… is that what has you this upset?”

“No. That alone, no. But him telling me he bought the house… he bought it because he still loves me and it’s a way of holding on to me…well, yeah, that has me this upset.”

Her friends stood with their mouths agape.

“He said what?” Sienna asked.

“He bought what?” Jackie followed.

“Exactly,” Casey sighed. “I want to go home.”

“Well, the party’s winding down. We can easily leave,” Jackie said. “Why don’t I go get you some water and something to wipe your face off with, then we can tell T. We want to go?”

“That’s a good plan,” Sienna nodded, “I’ll stay here with her while you do that.”

“Thanks, guys,” Casey smiled weakly, “I’m lucky to have you.”

After saying a quick goodbye to Naveen, a still somewhat disheveled Casey took Tobias’s hand and headed to the car with Jackie and Bryce in tow. When she slid into the front seat, Tobias took one look at her and knew she was in no condition for any interaction on the way home.

“Hey, Bryce, there is a blanket back there, can I….”

“Here you go,” he said before Tobias finished the statement.

“Case, why don’t you get under this and rest on the ride home. You look like you need it.”

She took the blanket with a grateful smile, and before they made it to the highway, she was already fast asleep.

When they returned home, Tobias made Casey a cup of chamomile tea as she sat on the sofa. Placing it before her, he asked if she’d like to talk. She remembered the promise she had made. She’d be truthful with him, even if what she had to say would be upsetting. She decided then and there that she would tell him, but she didn’t have the energy to do it tonight.

“Yes, T. I do. But if it’s all right with you, I’d rather not do it tonight. I do have a headache, and I’m exhausted, so….”

“Baby, say no more. It’s fine, we’ll talk when you’re ready. But… did I do anything to upset you?”

“No,” said, taking him in her arms. “You’re amazing. You never hurt me.”

“Well,” he chuckled, “based on the way.”

“T! That was just growing pains. That’s different. I love you,” she said with a yawn.

“And I love you. Now, why don’t you get into bed? We’ll talk whenever you’re ready.”

“That sounds good,” she said as she retreated to their bedroom.

But Tobias was worried. He sat on the couch, unable to sleep. Knowing the last person she talked to before becoming so upset was Ethan, he decided to give him a call.

“Tobias?”

“Hey, yeah. Look, I’m sorry to bother you, but Case… she’s kind of a mess. I know she had been talking to you. Do you happen to know what set her off?”

“Well, I… I….”

“Ethan, if you know, you can tell me.”

“I really can’t speak for Casey, Tobias. If she’s that upset, I would suggest letting her rest and talking tomorrow.”

“Yeah, well, that’s kind of what I’ m doing. But I thought you might have some insight. I… I worry about her, you know?”

“I do. But, just talk to her when she’s ready. And, Tobias…”

“Yes?”

“She… she really loves you. You know how lucky that makes you, right? Because… she really loves you.”

“Yeah, well, I really love her too.”

“I know you do and… I’m really happy you have each other. Good night.”

“Good night.”

Tobias hung up the phone, more confused than when he initially called, but he shrugged it off. He could wait until tomorrow. Until then, he was going to go and hold the woman he loved as she slept, and just like that, he felt better.

_____

After dropping Alan off in Providence, Ethan and Sonia’s ride home to Boston was rather quiet too. But without traffic, it wasn’t too long before they were in front of her apartment.

“I hope you had a good time,” Ethan smiled.

“I did. Everyone was lovely, and the party turned out wonderful. Naveen seemed to be really happy.

“Well, I’m glad you enjoyed it.”

“I did, but….”

“But?”

“Ethan, I may be out of line because right now, I don’t know what is, or is not, happening between us. But I want to let you know, I think you’re a really nice guy. I love the way we banter, I think you’re a total pain in the ass, and I’m sure you think that about me as well. We click, and I like that. Oh, and you’re really, really handsome too.”

“Well, thank you,” he laughed, “but I don’t think the rest of what you have to say will be as complimentary.”

“It’s not bad, Ethan. But, I’ve been through a lot in my life, and I have to protect myself before all else. I could see us growing into something more. However, I can’t even entertain that idea when you’re still in love with someone else.”

“Sonia, I….”

“Shhhhh,” she said, covering his mouth with her hand playfully. “Look, maybe I’m being presumptuous. Perhaps you don’t see me as anything more than the annoying chick from therapy.”

“If that’s what I thought, I wouldn’t have brought you today.”

“Well, why did you?”

“I like being with you, Sonia. You’re intelligent, you’re witty, you’re… beautiful. You keep me on my toes, and I like who I am when I’m with you.”

“But, instead of being with me, you spent half of the day trying to track Casey down. Then you disappear together, and she comes back crying and insisting they leave right away. You’re right. I am smart, and I see everything.”

“So I see.”

“I like you. When… if… you get over Casey, let me know. If someone else hasn’t snatched me up and taken me off the market, maybe we can try, but… until then… I have to back away. I hope you understand.”

Ethan snorted and took her hand in his.

“I do understand,” he smiled, “I’m being dumped before we even go on our first date.”

“This was our first date, you idiot. But you’re not being “dumped.” You’re being told I think too highly of you to risk losing you altogether because we started something you weren’t ready to do. Does that make sense?”

“It makes perfect sense.”

“Good,” she grinned.

“Hey, since I was sort of an ass today. Why don’t I take you to dinner this week to make it up to you? It’s not a date. It’s just two friends having dinner. What do you say?”

“I say that I’m a struggling resident. I don’t turn down free meals. Besides, you’ll take me someplace good, right?”

“Of course,” he smirked.

“Then sure,” she offered her hand to shake. “Friends?”

“Friends,” Ethan smiled.

“That’s good. From what I can tell, you need more of them.”

“You just spent the day with my friends. What do you mean I need more?”

“I’m just joking, Emmanuel. Call me and let me know when we can have dinner. Good night.”

“Good night, Sonia.”

He watched until she entered her front door, then he began to drive away. Perhaps it was a date, and if so, he really failed miserably. He knew he loved Casey, but he couldn’t deny he was feeling something for Sonia, too. He didn’t understand how they could be happening simultaneously. All he did know was that working with Casey was going to be awkward as hell, and he had some patching up to do... if she'd let him.

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jerzwriter · 3 years ago

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Delaying the Inevitable Chapter 33: A Twist of Fate

Book: Open Heart 3 (Post Series)

Pairing: Tobias Carrick x MC, Ethan Ramsey x MC

Rating: Chapter: Teen Warnings: Some cursing, verbal altercations.

Summary: Extended Series WIP – Love Triangle. In this chapter – Ethan’s admission leads to several heated confrontations, leaving the diagnostic team to find a way to continue to work together. Though it hasn’t been long, the job search hasn’t been moving as quickly as Casey would like and her friends have some advice. Casey receives disturbing news.

Category: Extended Series (WIP)

A/N: Almost there! Just two chapters left, and I can’t believe it’s almost over! I want to point out that in this chapter we will refer to Raf as an EMT. That is because you don’t just take a couple classes to add to your EMT training to become a physical therapist in any world. So, once again, we make up for PB’s ridiculousness. I hope you enjoy the chapter, as always feel free to shoot me any questions or observations you may have!

SERIES MASTERLIST

CHARACTERS BELONG TO PIXELBERRY STUDIOS

Sometimes, things that seem predictable turn out to be anything but. Emotionally exhausted, Casey could barely keep her eyes open as they drove back home. There was no doubt in her mind that she’d be asleep as soon as her head hit her pillow, but sleep never came last night. She promised herself she would tell Tobias the whole truth in the morning. The DC incident taught her they were a team, and he deserved the truth. They’d get through whatever they needed to together. But morning arrived much sooner than she had hoped for.

She prepared for the worst, assuming that he would be enraged. But, once again, she was wrong, and for some reason, that worried her even more.

Tobias hadn’t said a word since she finished speaking, and she couldn’t take her eyes off him across the room. He sat like a stone in his chair, completely still as the light from the grey morning sky cast a shadow on his frame. Any reaction would be better than none, so she could not let it remain any longer.

“T. Can you say… something?”

He slowly swiveled his neck in her direction. For all of the emotions that were stirring within him, not one registered on his face.

“I don’t know what you want me to say. I knew he still loves you.”

“You.. you did?”

“Yeah, I thought it was just kind of known.”

A languished sigh escaped him as he stood up from his chair to pace the floor anxiously.

“I can’t even fault him for it,” he walked up to Casey and placed his hand lovingly on her cheek. “You’re not easy to let go of. You know that, baby. Don’t you?”

“So, you’re… you’re not mad?”

Tobias ran his hands down the front of his face with a soft groan. He shook his head when he continued.

“I’m sure he can’t control his feelings for you any more than I could when I was in love with you, but you belonged to him. The only difference I’m seeing here is that I respected your relationship. You were both my friends, and I couldn’t dream of hurting either of you, so I shut my mouth. I guess I was wrong to think he’d show me, show us, that same respect.”

“Are you going to say anything?”

“I have to. I can’t just let this slide. But, to be honest, it’s not Ethan that’s concerning me right now… it’s you.”

“Me? What do you mean?”

“Casey… you were pretty upset last night. And, look, I know you’ve been through a lot lately, and being blindsided is never fun, but… you were prettyupset. Why? You could have just shrugged it off unless… do you still have feelings for him?”

Casey’s eyes went wide, both shock and hurt registered on her face.

“What? Tobias! How could you even ask me that? No. No! I love you! You know that! I can’t believe you’re asking me this!”

“Casey, it’s just….”

“No! There is no just anything! Sure, I still loved him as a friend and as someone who had been an important part of my life. But no, I was not… I am not… in love with him! My God, T! How could you even suggest that?”

Closing the distance between them, he took her hand and pulled her into a tight embrace. His lips fell to the crown of her head, where he kissed her tenderly.

“It wasn’t an accusation, baby; it was a question, that’s all. Your reaction was… intense… so I needed to ask.”

“It was intense because I was angry. It was intense because, once again, he was so damn self-centered. I was furious, T! So, yeah, my reaction was strong, but love him? No. In fact, after last night, I don’t even know that I like him anymore.”

“I’m sorry, Casey….”

Casey shook her head apologetically. “You have nothing to be sorry for. I’m sorry, I shouldn't have jumped down your throat.”

Tobias fell back onto the couch, and Casey followed, nuzzling under his arm.

“Working together is going to be interesting now,” he sighed.

“Yeah, that’s why I… I think I want to leave Edenbrook.”

Tobias tilted his head, “For DC?”

“No. I made my decision regarding that, and it stands. But someplace local. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see that our team's dynamics are just a disaster waiting to happen. I was stupid to think it would ever work out.”

“You’re not stupid, Casey. And, honestly, I wonder if I should do the same thing.”

“You?”

“Yeah. Maybe this whole idea of the three of us taking on the mysteries of the medical world in perfect harmony was all just a fantasy to begin with. With all the history between us… you’re right… it was only a matter of time.”

“You know, it was going well. If only he didn’t open his damn mouth.”

“But he did.”

“Yeah, he did, and now it’s going to be as awkward as hell.”

“We’re professionals,” Tobias shrugged, “we’ll make it work. Plus, knowing it’s just temporary, that should help.”

“I think so too,” she smiled.

“I’m going to head in to work early. I need to talk to Ethan before we start the day.”

“T, at work? Do you think that’s a good…”

“Case,” he interrupted, “it has to be done. You can’t ask me to sit across from him at the morning meeting and act as if nothing has happened. I promise you, I won’t kill him.”

She threw her arms around his neck and smiled. “Good. Because we’re not married, so, I don’t think they’d allow us conjugal visits.”

“Mmmm, that would be a problem,” he grinned. “I hope you know how much I love you, Casey.”

“I do. I hope you know how much I love you.”

“I do. Now, let me get dressed.”

_____

The past year had been a whirlwind, and it left Tobas dizzy as he drove through the nearly empty early morning streets of Boston. The silence and solitude only made his thoughts louder. He hated to admit it, but he almost felt sympathy for Ethan. If he were to lose Casey, he’d love and miss her until the day he died, so why would Ethan be any different? But he also knew if she had moved on and was happy, he’d respect that. He knew he would because he already had. He furiously slammed his hand on the steering wheel at a red light.

“God damn it, Ethan!! We talkedabout this!”

He felt disrespected. Ignored. Furious. HE snickered loudly when he opened his window for some fresh air, of all places to get a red light… directly in front of Sorellina’s. His mind went back to the day Ethan asked him to lunch there. Tobias was convinced he had figured out he was in love with Casey, and that was his plan to poison him. Instead, it became their turning point, inadvertently brokered by Casey herself. He sighed deeply. The three of them had woven a tangled web. It wasn’t only Casey that he didn’t want to lose; he didn’t want to lose Ethan either. Both men knew they shared a bond that could be frayed but never broken, at least until now.

Before he knew it, his feet were carrying him down the nearly empty halls of Edenbrook. The determination in his steps gave no indication of the conflict that existed in his heart and mind. Seated at his desk, Ethan heard the footsteps growing closer to the office, and he knew who it was at once. A strange sense of relief came over him as he calmly shut his laptop and turned toward the door, waiting for Tobias to enter. He knew this would be unpleasant but not as unpleasant as the anticipation.

Tobias entered the room without saying a word, and you could hear a pin drop when he turned around and shut the door behind him. Ethan had spent the night awake, filled with remorse, and he didn’t think he could feel worse, but when he looked up and saw hurt, more than anger, on Tobias’s face, he did.

“We need to talk,” Tobias announced gravely.

“Yes,” Ethan sighed, “I suppose we do. But, is that all that we will be doing?”

“Excuse me?”

“f you wanted to take a slug at me, you’d be well within your rights to do so.”

Tobias crossed his arms in front of his chest and let out a deep breath.

“Why, to give you a reason to fire me? I’m not making it that easy on you.”

“I don’t plan on firing you….”

“Yeah, well, I don’t plan on hitting you. But let the record show, I reserve the right to change my mind.”

“Fair enough.”

Tobias pursed his lips and shook his head.

“I don’t blame you, you know… for still loving her. How can I? I know I’ll love her forever, no matter what. I know that. But she’s not yours anymore, Ethan. What’s more, she’s mine, and I am hers. You blew it with her all on your own. Hell, I tried to convince you to make it work with her. Because I cared about you. I respected you and respected the love you shared no matter how much it hurt me!” Turning away from Ethan in disgust, he walked to the window; his calm demeanor began to unravel despite his attempts to control it. When he spoke again, his measured tone had turned into a growl. “You love her…OK? You can’t control that, but you DAMN well can control what you do… what you say, and I know because I did it! Was it too goddamned much to ask you to show me… to show us… the same respect!”

“Tobias, it wasn’t premeditated. I hadn’t intended… it just happened.”

“It just happened? It just happened? You bought a fucking house, Ethan! That doesn’t just happen!”

“I never planned on letting Casey know why I bought the house….”

“BULLSHIT! Bullshit, Ethan. If you wanted a beach house, you could have bought any. But it had to be that one. Then you let her walk into it, with a clue… what did you think her reaction would be?”

“I didn’t buy the place because of Casey, per se. I bought it because I want to be the man I hoped to be when I was with her, and I truly didn’t expect her to react as she did. And I absolutely didn’t do any of this with the intent of coming between you two.”

“Oh? Is that why you told her you love her, Ethan? Huh? With your history? What did you hope would come of that?”

“I hadn’t planned on saying….”

“But you did! You did! And you can’t take it back. What response were you hoping for? And don’t lie to me. You were hoping she’d say she still loves you too, and how the hell is that not trying to come between us?”

Tobias’s face was red. The silent anger boiling inside him began to boil to the surface despite Ethan’s contrition.

“Tobias, I mean it when I say….”

“What if she had said it, Ethan?” He interrupted. “What if she said she loved you too. What then?”

Unprepared for that question, Ethan’s face went pale as he felt his breath escape him. He wanted to say something, anything, to alleviate the situation, but he was at a loss for words, and the lingering silence spoke for him.

“I thought so,” Tobias snorted. “There’s no more to say; the damage is done. All the progress… you and Casey building a friendship again, you and me….” Tobias shook his head sadly, “What a fucking waste. Where does that all go now?”

“I don’t know,” Ethan murmured, “but we’ve been through a lot, and I think we can manage this… somehow.”

“You do? I’m not so sure. Because I don’t trust you, and trust is the foundation of friendship. I’m letting you know, effective today, I’m looking for another position. I don’t know how the hell we thought the three of us on the same team would work… we all must be a fucked in the head.”

“We’re not. It was working until….”

“Was it? Or were we kidding ourselves? Maybe this was just a powder keg waiting to explode all along. One woman, both of us in love with her…” he laughed ruefully, “I’d say it was like old times, but Casey is no Floria. She’s… she’s so much more.”

Tobias turned and neared Ethan’s desk; standing directly in front of him, he found the fury in his voice had disappeared once again.

“You asked if I wanted to hit you. I don’t. I can’t even bring myself to hate you, even though I really want to. I told you that I came to Edenbrook because I knew you could make me be a better doctor, and I meant that, but it was only part of the reason. I also came here because I wanted to repair the friendship I destroyed all those years ago.”

“And we did,” Ethan replied.

“Did. I never expected all of this.”

“Well,” Ethan chuckled sadly, “who could have? So, where does that leave us, Tobias?”

“I don’t know. Right now, I’m staring at a man that would willingly take the one thing that matters most to me in this world. I should knock your lights out, but all I can think is why you had to fuck so much up. You should begin to look for my replacement.”

Tobias began to leave the room as Ethan struggled with what to say. He wanted to convince him to stay for many reasons, but he also knew what Tobias was right. If there was any chance of salvaging what was left of their friendship, the best prescription they could offer was time and space. In the end, all he could do was mutter…

“For what it’s worth… I’m sorry.”

Tobias turned around when he reached the door.

“So I am buddy, so am I.”

____________________

Ethan looked at his watch as Tobias nervously tapped his pen on the table. Harper’s eyes moved between them. Casey was now twenty-minutes for their morning meeting. On a typical day, Ethan would have been asking for her head, and Tobias would have been franticly checking his phone with worry. But today, their lack of reaction left Harper bewildered.

“I suppose we can begin without Casey,” Ethan announced nonchalantly.

Just seconds later, Casey walked in and took a seat next to Harper without saying a word. Once seated, she looked across the table at Tobias, who smiled gently in her direction. The tension in the room could be cut with a knife, and Harper had many questions. But it was apparent that this was not the time to ask.

The meeting never veered from the topics, and Casey’s tardiness was never mentioned. Professionalism was the cornerstone of everyone in the room; as long as they focused on work, they’d get through almost anything. When the meeting was about to adjourn, Casey gathered her belongings and made a beeline to the door. Harper looked at the two men, and again, they had no reaction.

Several hours later, Casey walked to the office after completing her morning rounds. The lightness in her step was courtesy of knowing that Ethan had back-to-back meetings that would consume the bulk of his day. This coincided with her goal of not running into him today, especially without others present.

But when she trotted into the office, she was to find Ethan looking up from his. She turned on her heel and attempted to make a hasty exit, but Ethan rose to his feet and took long strides trying to beat her to the door. He almost made it, but as her hand reached for the knob, his arm passed over her shoulder, and he pushed the door shut from behind her.

“Let me go,” she whispered.

“We have to have this conversation sometime, Casey. Let’s just pull the band-aid off.”

She didn’t speak, didn’t move, but she also didn’t leave.

He remained behind her, hand still on the door.

“I’ll cut to the chase. I owe you an apology.”

“Do you?” she answered with sarcasm dripping from her voice.

“Yes. I do.”

Her arms crossed her chest, and cold defiance was in her eyes as she turned to face him.

“For what exactly?”

“For… for handling things so poorly. I should have told you where the party was going to be. Better yet, I should have held it elsewhere. Then, if that wasn’t inconsiderate enough, I….” He thought sucking in that deep breath and releasing it slowly would enable him to speak again, but he was wrong.

“Then you had to cap it off by telling me that you love me.”

“Yeah,” he said, fidgeting uncomfortably on his feet. “I did. I shouldn’t have, but I’m human, and sometimes I even show it.”

“I’m well aware of your humanity, Ethan. The good and the bad; it just seems that I am often at the receiving end of the bad. And I am tired of being hurt by you.”

“Casey, while what I said was inappropriate and wrong. But how does me telling you that I love you hurt you.”

“How does it hurt me?” she asked incredulously.

“Yes, how does that hurt you?” he replied softly.

“It hurts me because I’ve worked so hard to get to where we were! I tried Ethan! I tried to be your friend. I tried to let you be my mentor, just like we were… just like we used to be. And we were there, or I thought we were, then with three words, you took that all away!”

She looked to the side, and he couldn’t be certain what emotion was causing her face to turn red and her body to tremble. He went to speak, but she raised her hand, ordering him to be quiet. With a deep breath, she fended off the tears beginning to glisten in her eyes. Her voice was strained when she continued.

“How many times are you doing to do it? How many times will you take what we have and destroy it? You did it when you ran away from me after my trial, leaving me to cope with all the fallout of everything by myself. You did it when you threw me out of your home and seemingly out of your life. But even then, I was destroyed, but I didn’t run away. I stuck around! And I did the work to be your friend, so we could share… something. And now you have stolen that from me.”

“Casey,” he said, involuntarily taking a step toward her as Casey lurched backward. “I didn’t want to hurt you, and I don’t want to lose you… we can still have that relationship… we can….”

“I don’t think we can,” she sniffled.

“Why do the words matter? Really, why? Didn’t you know I still loved you? Didn’t you know I never stopped? Casey, if I had been in my right mind, I would have never let you go. Everyone knows that. So why does me saying those three words out loud matter?”

“Because it does!” She yelled. “Because it DOES! You know damn well how much those three words mean! If they didn’t, it wouldn’t have taken you three years to say them to me. Even on my deathbed, you couldn’t say them to me. But now, now I am in love with Tobias, and he’s in love with me! Heis my future! And he is your friend! How could you?”

“You haven’t answered me,” he said softly. “Why does it have you this upset.”

Casey turned away from his stare. She looked to the door and longed to exit. His next words were but a whisper, yet they filled the room, hanging in the air and stealing all oxygen. There was no escape.

“Casey, do you still love me?”

She snapped around to face him, her hand crashing his cheek with a loud smack.

“How dare you? How. Dare. You!!! I just told you! I’m in love with Tobias. With your best friend! I love him, Ethan, do you hear me? I love him, and I hope to spend the rest of my life with him. And he’s not some sloppy second because it didn’t work out with you. I. LOVE. HIM! Do you understand me?”

“Yes,” he whispered, looking away. He had no choice to believe her despite her shaky breath and the hot tears in her eyes.

“But I loved you, Ethan. I loved you so much, and I believed we were forever. And no matter how much you hurt me, I’m not… I’m not some robot who just flips a switch and turns off my feelings. I can’t pretend it never happened, even if I wanted to. It happened, Ethan! It happened, and it was beautiful… until it nearly destroyed me. So I rebuilt myself, rebuilt my life. And I’m happy! So how dare you come in and unearth the past. Tell me you love me in a home where we spent some of our most tender moments, and expect me not to care! What do you think I am?”

She wiped her eyes with her sleeve, then lifted her hand to his chin, forcing him to look at her.

“A part of me will love you until the day I die. Real love, once shared, never dies. But it can be put away; it can change. My eyes are on the future, and I refuse to let them turn back to the past. I thought you knew that, and that’s what enabled us to become friends again. But you took that away… now, we have nothing.”

“It doesn’t have to be….”

“Yeah,” she sniffed, “I believe it does,” she turned back to the door, shaking her head. “Look, I have work to do, and so do you. As long as I’m still at Edenbrook, please, let’s keep it professional because I… I can’t do this anymore. Promise me, Ethan?”

“I promise you,” he whispered. “I’m so sorry… for everything.”

Her hand reached for the doorknob, refusing to be stopped again. But she turned to him before she left.

“I know.”

Ethan shut his eyes tightly. When he opened them, she was gone. All that remained was the sweet smell of jasmine and bergamot. Her favorite perfume. It would hang in the air for exactly six minutes. He knew it when she was an intern. He knew it when he was hiding his feelings from himself. He knew it when she was his, and he knew it now. He always treasured it, keeping her presence with him a little longer when she was gone. But now it was clear, the day was coming when she would walk out that door for the last time. And when did she would fill his sense for six more minutes, and then, she’d be gone.

____________________

Two weeks had passed, and the team fell into a pattern that allowed them to work together. Sometimes they even joked, but the tension was still prevalent. Ethan was so anxious to discuss things with Dr. Fernandez he even arrived early. He was seated in his usual chair, legs folded and a copy of the latest New England Journal of Medicine in his hands when Sonia walked in.

“Good morning, Sophia. You’re running late today.”

She shook her head with a smile and made her way over to Ethan. Removing the journal from his hands, she rolled her eyes.

“You know, Edgardo, you really need to diversify.”

“You’re a physician, Dr. Coelho. I assumed reading pertinent literature in our field would be something you would do.”

“I do… but it’s not all I read.”

“You have suggestions then?”

“Absolutely! I’ll bring some books next week.”

“Why wait until next week. Are we still on for dinner tomorrow?”

“We are,” she smiled.

Ethan tucked the Journal into his bag to give Sonia his full attention, and she noticed.

“You were right, you know,” he muttered. “About so many things.”

“I usually am,” she laughed.

“Well, maybe I should just start giving you my co-pays. You have such insight, especially for someone your age.”

“Someone my age? How old do you presume I am?”

“I’d say in your late 20s. Based on where you are in your residency.”

“Not too far off. I’m 31. I took two years off between high school and undergrad. I had to work to save up money; otherwise, college wouldn’t have happened,” she shrugged, “not everyone is rich, you know.”

“Oh, I know that first hand. You couldn’t have gone on scholarships?”

“No,” she shook her head. “My grades in high school were abysmal. I had a lot going on, so…. I blossomed in college.”

“And we’re all grateful for that.”

“I’m looking forward to tomorrow night.”

“Me too,” he grinned. “6:30?”

“Mmm-hmm…” she smiled just before her therapist called her name.

Ethan smiled too… after all, it was nice to know there was someone who he hadn’t pissed off. Someone who saw him as more than the mistakes he had made.

____________________

Casey was completing paperwork at the nurse's station when she was approached by Sienna and Jackie on both sides.

“Greetings!” Jackie chimed.

She didn’t look up from her paperwork.

“To what do I owe this ambush?”

“Wow, this is what it’s come to? Your friends stop by to chat, and it’s an ambush?”

“Oh, Jackie!” Sienna replied, “I don’t think she meant it that way!”

Jackie shot Sienna a sharp look, “Is this what it’s come to? You no longer realize that sarcasm is my main language.”

Casey snorted quietly before putting her paperwork back in its folder.

“Don’t worry, Jackie. We all know that. Always.”

“Good,” Jackie smiled, “now I feel better.”

Sienna scrunched her nose. “How’s the job search going, Casey?”

“It’s going… slower than expected,” she sighed. “Tobias could make a call, and I’d be in Kenmore tomorrow, but I’m not sure that’s what I want.”

“I don’t understand why you just don’t make a call and go to DC, Casey. You know you’d still get a great offer.”

Casey turned her head and looked across the room, a melancholy expression on her face. Tobias was holding court, his arms flailing as he told a story with such animation that no one could keep in their laughter. She smiled gently.

“Because I’m where I want to be, Jackie. It will all work out in the end.”

“Are things going OK, though?” Sienna motioned toward the door of Ethan’s office. “With… you know….”

Casey shrugged, “We’re professionals. We can all behave until I’m gone.”

“Why don’t you look for another position in Edenbrook,” Jackie asked. “I mean, we span numerous buildings. It’s possible you could get far away but remain in the best hospital in Boston.”

“No,” she answered emphatically, “I want out of here. I don’t want to run into Ethan, and I don’t want to be reminded of him. I want a fresh start.”

“Well,” Jackie stood up from her chair. “Suit yourself. But if I were you, I’d ask what am I running from.”

Casey lowered her eyes as Jackie walked away, as Sienna placed a protective hand over her friend’s.

“Are you OK?”

“Yeah, why?”

“I’m… worried about you.”

“Well, there is no need to be.”

“Casey, I’ve seen some of the jobs you’re applying for when we have lunch together, and they’d be such steps back. They’re probably not calling you because they know you’d bore of them within a week.” Sienna looked over at Tobias, now entertaining an even larger crowd. “You know, we all love Tobias, you most of all… but sometimes, you have to put yourself first. And about Ethan,” she sighed, “I understand wanting to get away, but have you really asked yourself whyit’s so important to do so.”

“What are you suggesting, Sienna?” she answered defensively.

“I’m suggesting that you really need to find out who Casey is and what she wants before you make any big moves. Because I’m not so sure that you have done that. I hope I didn’t overstep, it’s just that… I love you.”

“I know,” Casey smiled, “I love you too. But I’m going to be OK, Si. Really.”

“I hope so.”

_____

Casey returned to the team's office and found Ethan was seated at the conference table, reviewing a large document. Instead of running off, Casey continued in and went about her work.

“What is that?” she asked. “It doesn’t look like it’s related to medicine.”

“Well, not directly,” he said. “It’s a draft of the new wing we’re building. The diagnostic team will be getting a suite there, so I get a look at the plans.”

“Oh,” Casey answered, surprised. “I didn’t realize… that will be… nice….”

“Yeah, it will be,” he answered. “Everything new, state of the art. Everyone will have their own office off the new conference area… it’s more than I ever imagined.”

“That’s great,” Casey smiled.

“It’s going to be.” He stared ahead for a few moments as the silence dragged. “Are you sure… are you sure you won’t reconsider? The team is going places, and I think you would….”

“Ethan,” she interrupted, “I’ve made up my mind. Sure, it is tempting. But it’s best for me to leave, and it’s best for you if I leave.”

“But is it?” He asked. “Casey, I know I shouldn’t have….”

“Ethan….”

“No, let me finish. I know I shouldn’t have said what I did, but the truth is… you’ve already moved on, and I’m, I’m starting to. I’m taking steps to get there, and I’d hate to see you miss out because of my stupidity.”

Without thinking, he reached over the table and placed his hand tenderly over hers. Casey’s hand lingered just a few seconds before pulling away.

“I’m I… I have a date tonight?”

“You do? A “date date.”

Both of their heads turned as Tobias walked into the office. Casey wasn’t sure, but there was an almost suspicious look on his face.

“Who has a “date?” he asked, pouring two cups of coffee, one for himself and one for Casey. He moved next to her, kissing the top of her head then looking over at Ethan. “You have a date?”

“It’s… sort of a date. With Sonia.”

“Why sort of?” Tobias asked, stirring his cup. “She seems great.”

“She is, but… she wants to take it slow.”

“Because?” Tobias quizzed.

Ethan shrugged. “You’d have to ask her.”

“Well, I don’t have a date with her tonight, you do. But I don’t suggest asking her,” he smiled.

“A date tonight?” Floria asked, stepping into the room. “Who has a date tonight?”

“I do,” Ethan answered firmly as he swiveled his chair toward her. “It’s not a date date, but….”

“It’s a date,” Casey answered.

“Oh,” Floria stumbled. “Well… I was going to… but… never mind.”

“No, what is it, Floria?” Ethan asked.

“I was going to see if you could give me a lift. I have a meeting at Mount Auburn in Cambridge. You know, about the shared services proposal, and Dr. Reynolds is already there, but don’t worry, I’ll get there.”

“No, Flor, I’ll give you a lift. I’m sure I can delay my plans a bit.”

“You sure you don’t want me to give you a lift,” Tobias smirked.

“Uh, are you all leaving early today?” Floria asked.

“I’m just busting you, Floria.”

“Shocking! But you sure you don’t mind Ethan?”

“I’ll make a call. It should be fine.”

“Thanks,” she said demurely before leaving the office.

Tobias looked over at Ethan, shaking his head.

“You know she just totally played you, right? She could take an Uber and charge the hospital.”

“It’s not a big deal, Tobias. Honestly. Plus, I feel sorry for her.”

“Why?”

“Because the three of us… we all had our shit, and it impacted us all differently. But we all have our damage. Even though it’s largely her own doing, she really doesn’t have anyone. I’ve been there, and it’s lonely, it’s painful,” his eyes drifted over and met Casey’s. “It took a lot to get me past that. Maybe… maybe I can help Floria get there like others helped me.”

“Well, when you put it that way, I feel like an asshole.”

“That’s because you are,” Ethan smirked. “I should get going, and I don’t want to delay my plans with Sonia too much.”

“Good luck with that,” Tobias smiled. Casey pretended to be too focused on her reading material to answer.

“So, that just leaves us here for the night shift, kid.”

“Are you ever going to stop calling me kid?”

“No way, that’s our thing.” He leaned over and kissed her cheek. “It’s slow, and we could take a little break if you want.”

“Ohh, and what conference room do you want to sneak in to.”

“You know, as appealing as that sounds, I do think of other things.”

Casey raised a brow.

“OK. I think of other things at least 25% of the time… when I’m with you, that is. But right now, I’m thinking about dinner. Want to order, and we can eat together here.”

“Oh, why don’t we get that acorn squash ravioli we like from Harvest.”

“Because Harvest doesn’t deliver.”

“OK, forget it, we’ll get something else….”

“Shh. Shh. Shh. If my baby wants Harvest,” he smiled. “Then that’s what she’s getting.”

“Are you sure?”

“Totally. Can you hold down the fort while I drive over?”

“I think I can manage.”

“Of that, I have no doubt,” he said, hugging her. “I’ll see you in about an hour.”

“Hey, but if you take an hour now, how will you have time to eat with me?”

“Because I’m the boss when Ramsey isn’t here. I make the rules, and it’s a slow night,” he winked.

“Fine,” Casey laughed. “Just hurry back. I already miss you.”

“That’s what I like to hear.”

Casey and Tobias walked out of the office just as Ethan and Floria were about to leave.

“Where are you going?” Ethan asked.

“To get dinner at Harvest.”

“I’m not gone 10 minutes….”

“Oh, shut up, Ramsey. Has the place ever fallen apart when you’re not here? Come on, I’ll walk out with you.”

“You realize I’m here,” Floria deadpanned.

“Yeah, you’re here. Are you opposed to walking out with me?”

“No,” she smiled. “It’ll be like old times.”

“Heh, I wouldn’t go that far….”

Casey listened to them walk off, and she smiled. Maybe… just maybe,in the end, they could all be friends. But then she shook her head. She didn’t trust that they could be.

She stopped in to check on her patients as the night moved on. She looked at her watch and realized Tobias had been gone longer than expected. She attempted to call him, but there was no answer. She shook it off.

He’s probably in the restaurant and can’t hear his phone with all the noise.

Another fifteen minutes passed, and she began to worry, especially when he didn’t answer his phone.

“Casey,” Maureen called over.

“Yes?”

“Has Ethan gone for the day? Mrs. Solomon’s test results are back, and he insisted he wanted to hear about them right away.”

“Well, he is gone. And he has a rather big night tonight. How about I take a look at them and call him.”

“That sounds good,” Maureen smiled, handing Casey the results.

“Well, it doesn’t look too bad,” she muttered out loud and then dialed Ethan.

No answer.

What the hell is going on tonight? Two doctors not picking up their phones?

“Hey!” She heard a resident yell as he jogged past the nurse’s station. “There was a massive multiple car accident at the entrance of Longfellow bridge. I’m headed downstairs.”

Casey didn’t give it a second thought. After all, Tobias & Ethan both left some time ago, but they’d hit the traffic back for sure.

I guess it’s cold squash ravioli.

Maureen hung up a phone and motioned to Casey.

“Hey! They want you to head down to ER. We’re expecting a lot of patients, and it’s all hands on deck.”

“Wow, it’s that bad?” Casey asked.

“I guess so.”

“OK, heading right down.”

Casey began trotting off to the elevator when she stopped cold.

“We just got a call from Raf,” one of the nurses said with a nervous voice, “apparently he’s bringing in one of the doctors from the diagnostic team.”

Casey’s blood went cold.

“Do they know who?” the other nurse asked.

“He didn’t say.”

The clipboard she had been carrying fell out of her shaking hand. Something was terribly wrong. She could feel it. She took a deep breath and calmed the panic that filled her chest and rendered her immobile. Without another word, she ran to the ER.

_____

A/N 2: Have tissues next week :) (And yes, Tash, ice cream.)

OH Tags: @aishwarya26 @onikalover @peonyblossom @toadfrog26

@choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics

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Delaying the Inevitable - One Day... Tobias

Book: Open Heart (Post Series)

Series: Delaying the Inevitable (Between Ch 23 - 24)

Pairing: Tobias Carrick x MC, Ethan Ramsey (x MC)

Rating: Teen

Summary: One day in the life of Tobias Carrick in the early days of his relationship with Casey.

Category: Fluffish

Warnings: Language

A/N: Delaying the Inevitable is on hiatus this week, but here is a peek at one day as seen by Dr. Tobias Carrick. (Ethan's Day can be found here, and Casey's Day will be posted later - they're not being done in any order folks! 😊). DTI will be back next week.

A/N 2:Please note: The social editor's available for iPhone right now do not allow me to add Instagram comments. They don't look great typed underneath, but I'm improvising. :)

7:20 AM

7:32 AM

7:35 AM

8:05 AM

CaseyMAMD: You're having a bagel without me!!! 😱😭 H Avery: Oh, Tobias, you are in so much trouble. Tobi_Wan_Kenobi: Don't worry, I'm bringing a dozen to the office. CaseyMAMD: The office???? I just get a generic bagel! Tobii_Wan_Kenobi: Of course not! You can have an office bagel and then your own personal bagel I'm packing on the side. Chief.Res.Varma: Please give mine to someone else, because you both make me sick. Bryce.Cuts.Thingz: ALONE? Bruh, I am HERE with you? Chief.Res.Varma: Finally! Someone else realizes you're not human too! CaseyMAMD: He just wants me 😘🥰 Tobi_Wan_Kenobi: Every second, of every day. Byrce.Cuts.Thingz: I'm taking his phone away. Chief.Res.Varma: THANK YOU!!!!!!

8:10 AM

T: What do I owe you for the breakfast? B: Don't worry about it. T: Seriously? At least take $20 toward it.

B: "Whoa, don't close that up... give it here..." T: "What?" B: "Give me the damn wallet, T!" B: "Are you freaking kidding me?" T: "What? A man can't have picture of the woman he loves more than anything in this world in his wallet?" B: "Look, I might forgive you for the picture of Case, but what the hell is this little one of you two kissy facing here... is this..." T: (Grabs wallet from Bryce's hands.) "Give me that..." B: "Cant' you just keep photos in your phone? Like normal people in the 21st century?" T: "I have plenty of photos of her... of us... in my phone. I just don't know if I'm willing to share all of them with you..." B: ".... aaannnddd on that note... we have to go to work."

2:05 PM

C: "Hey." T: "Hey, Beautiful. How is your day going?" C: "Better than yours. I saw you fighting with Dr. Lewis, what's going on." T: "The guy is an asshole, that's what's going on." C: "Honey, not for nothing, but you think just about every doctor in Edenbrook is an asshole." T: "And that's because 90% of them are." C: "I hope I'm not included among them." T: Smirks. "Are you serious?" C: "Just checking to see what you think of me." T: "You get out first today. You just be waiting for me when I get home, I'll show you exactly what I think of you."

8:45 PM

Chief.Res.Varma: Casey's turn to cook huh? KidzDocMA: Stop Jackie! Casey makes the best breakfast! DocElijahG: And it stops there lol Chief.Res.Varma: Though she hasn't been responsible for food poisoning in at least a year. Tobi_Wan_Kenobi: Hey, hey, hey! Stop it! Dinner was delicious. CaseyMAMD: Thank you, baby. 💕 DocElijahG: Just don't let her cook for you if you want to make it to your 50th anniversary. Chief.Res.Varma: Or your 1st.

10:15 PM

C: "You know, this is now my favorite part of the day."

T: "Really?"

C: "What, it's not yours? I mean, do you want me to move back to the guest room?"

T: "Oh, hell no! You're staying right here. Kiss, It's just that, for me, my favorite part of the day is any time I'm with you."

C: "Awwww. You're adorable. But if I said we could trade this, right now, for the two of us dealing with a miserable patient at work you'd pick?"

T: "You're right, as usual, this is the best part of the day."

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Ethan Only: @cryomyst @custaroonie @gryffindordaughterofathena @mysticaurathings @queencarb @sincerelyscarring @wanderingamongthewildflowers

Tobias Only: @icecoffee90

DTI Only: @delicialola16-blog @dottie-minerva-mikas @gardeningourmet @rosilyjj @ianna47 @jc-ckie-blog @kiwiloss @personthatlovesshippings @scapsbru99 @shanzay44 @teenagecaliforniadreamers

@choicesficwriterscreations

WIP Wednesday - Delaying the Inevitable - The Final Chapter

OK - it's not phenomenal - but it's a bit of a peek.

No, unless noted, I'm not saying who is saying what to whom.

And it's not necessarily in order. :) Just one more!

"Because it's time. Don't you think? After all this time, she's still willing to see me, she's still willing to work it out... I think it's time I give it a try. A real try. Before I live to regret it."

"I'm happy to hear that. Of course, she's still there. She loves you. She always has, I'm glad you finally see it."

"You should know, it was you [redacted]. It was you all along."

"Of course, I still believe in magic, in fate... in love [redacted], I believe in it now more now than ever, because now, I know it's real."

"If you play that song from Wicked, I'll be forced to never speak to you again."

"Was that her?"

"It was. Have you called her?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"We've had this discussion. I'd prefer if we could refrain from having it again."

"Oh, your preference? Look at me not caring about that. I'm going to repeat myself until you come to your senses. And don't give me that look! I can be a bigger asshole than you."

"I"m sure you hate me now."

"Oh, stop it, Casey. I could never hate you."

"What are you doing here anyway? I thought you were leaving."

"I was."

"So... then why are you here?"

"Because I [redacted], and I want to stay... If you'll allow it, that is."

"At some point, you have to learn... the goal isn't just to survive... it is to live."

OH Tags: @aishwarya26 @onikalover @peonyblossom @toadfrog26

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jerzwriter · 3 years ago

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Delaying the Inevitable Chapter 28 - Reblog for additional tags. Also additional A/N 3: Song in my head as I wrote the chapter: Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough Quote in my head as I wrote it: "Pick me, choose me, love me." So that tells you what kind of chapter you're in for. lol

OH Tags: @aishwarya26 @alina-yol-ramsey @chaoticchopshopheart @coffeeheartaddict2 @dorisz @kat-tia801 @panda9584 @parisa-kh @queencarb @swiminthegarden @youlookappropriate @sillydg @rosebudde @jerzwriter2

Delaying the Inevitable - Chapter 28B - Love Is The Truth

Book: Open Heart 3 (Post Series)

Pairing: Tobias Carrick x MC, Ethan Ramsey x MC

Rating: Chapter: Teen Plus

Summary: Extended Series WIP – Love Triangle. In this chapter – Casey and Tobias have a difficult talk about the past, and what the future holds for them.

Category: Extended Series (WIP)

Warnings: Racism, painful childhood memories

A/N: Hi. The second part of this chapter is shorter than usual for this series, and it is a stand-alone scene, but a lot takes place and I thought it would be best this way. It’s a little different, so I hope you like it. I’m already well into Chapter 29, so I hope to have it to you soon.

A/N 2: I think I still need to leave the standard notes here: This is a love triangle – that means Casey loves more than one person in this story. I’ve said it a million times, but here is a million and one. She won’t make her choice until the final chapter. So no, it’s not a foregone conclusion. And while Team Ethan, and Team Tobias, and Team God I’m Torn exist out there, there is only one that matters to me and that is Team Casey.

CHARACTERS BELONG TO PIXELBERRY STUDIOS

Yeah, in the future. Why don’t we go home, baby? I think we have a lot to talk about.

Those were the last words Tobias said to Casey after they stepped out of Derry’s. Although his arm remained lovingly draped around her as they walked home, he was uncharacteristically quiet. Casey felt her apprehension increasing with every step they took.

The elevator chimed when it reached the 55th floor. The sound of their footsteps echoed as they walked along the marble floor in the hall. The clicking sound the lock made when T turned his key. They were all background noises, such a normal part of her everyday life that she barely even hears on an average day. But tonight, devoid of the chatter and laughter that typically existed so naturally between them, these noises were so loud, it felt like they were begging for attention. All of these sounds had become home to her, but tonight they made her heart feel heavy, and she didn’t understand why.

Tobias silently made his way to the living room to start a fire, while Casey made a pot of coffee in the kitchen. She tried to act like nothing was wrong as she placed the tray on the coffee table, but Tobias sensed her tension. He took her in her arms and placed a loud kiss on her temple as her eyes filled with tears. Perhaps she was overreacting, but the last time the man she loved told her they needed to talk, she ended up in this very room, feeling like she couldn’t go on. She knew that this was different, he was different, theywere different… but she had already learned a lesson she never wanted to learn. Even the people who love us the most can cast us aside in a moment. The comfort and security she always sought felt like it was slipping away. She was scared.

“Why are you trembling?”

“I don’t know,” she said, taking a seat on the sofa.

“I think you do. The first rule of tonight is going to be full honesty. OK? So, tell me the truth. I won’t be upset, I promise.”

She lowered her eyes and nodded her head in agreement.

“I’m scared.”

“Baby, we’re just talking.” He placed his hand atop her knee. “You don’t have to be scared. We’re just going to talk things out.”

“Well, what do you want to know?”

“I guess we should start with your job offers....”

“Potential offers….”

“Hon, with all due respect, if my uncle talked to you like you said, you have an offer. You just have to make the call to make it official.”

He took a deep breath, appearing to brace himself for what was to come. “So, what do you think? Is this something you truly want to consider? And remember, honest.”

She was trying to gather her strength for this conversation. Biting her lips and wringing her hands wasn’t what she wanted to do, but she was helpless to stop.

“I always thought my future was here, at Edenbrook. It was my dream to be here, and I achieved it. So why look elsewhere, right? Even after my intern year with Ms. Martinez, I stayed put. Even after the attack, I wanted to stay. But lately, I wonder if a fresh start would be best for me. I was considering looking at other local hospitals, but Edenbrook is the best that there is, so anything would be taking a step back. Besides, there was nothing else that even captured my interest.”

“But now….”

“I wasn’t looking in this direction. It’s not a path that I would have seen myself taking, but sometimes things come to you. Things you don’t expect happen, and they just feel… right. Do you know what I mean?”

Tobias brushed her cheek gently, “I sure do.”

The corners of her lips turned up just a bit.

“I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t interested. It’s so enticing, and I really feel like I found a way to impact healthcare for all. IT’s something I’ve been passionate about, and I’d be happy to fight for a positive change.”

Tobias was quiet for a moment, then spoke softly.

“So, is it a done deal? Do you definitely plan on doing it?”

“No, it’s not a done deal yet. I want to go down and visit. To spend some time and see if it is a good fit. Talk about actual offered, but, yeah, I definitely want to do those things.”

Even though he anticipated her answer, it still hit hard. He tried his best to disguise it, but his eyes gave him away. Casey turned her head. Seeing Tobias hurt was not something she was used to seeing. He tended to have a way of turning everything into a positive, so the sight was hard to take in. Especially when she knew that she was the cause.

As the uncomfortable silence lingered between them, each wanted to talk but couldn’t. Casey was consumed with guilt, and Tobias… he wanted to make sure he could speak without his voice cracking. He would do almost anything for her, but of all places… he just couldn’t go back there, not to the city, and not to that life. As much as it broke him to admit it, this could be an impasse they could not fix.

“If it’s what you want,” he paused, “then I want it for you. From the day I met you, I knew there was no holding you back. The sky was the limit, and I’m not going to be the one who refuses to let you shine.”

The pit in Casey’s stomach seemed to double in size. Neither could look at each other as they waited. Casey was waiting for the words that she prayed would follow, that they would make it work no matter what. She waited… and waited… but they never came.

“I… I don’t want to lose you, Tobias. I don’t want to lose you… but why do I feel like if I pursue this, that’s a real possibility.”

His face fell into his hands in an attempt to conceal the tears that were pooling in his eyes. He took a deep breath before turning to her, a solitary tear rolling down his cheek.

“Because it is. Casey. Because it is.”

She swallowed hard and choked back her own tears.

“But why? Why? We love each other so much! Isn’t a relationship supposed to be about compromising and growing, sometimes sacrificing for each other? You had to know that if we were going to have a life together, there might come a time where we’d have to face an issue like this.”

“Of course I did. I didn’t think it would be all smooth sailing. I guess I didn’t think it would be so soon, and… you don’t understand, I would do just about anything for you. I would sooner stop breathing than lose you, but I can’t go back there.”

“I don’t understand. Why the aversion? If the shoe were on the other foot, if you had your dream job lined up, I’d go with you. I’d go anywhere with you. Why won’t you even consider the same for me?”

“I would. I would, Casey, if it were anyplace else. I just can’t go back to that city, and I can’t go back to that life.”

“OK, you wanted honesty, and I’ve been giving it to you, but not it’s your turn. What aren’t you telling me? What is about that place that makes this an impossibility for you? I deserve to know.”

He clenched his eyes shut tight and nodded his head in agreement.

“You’re right. You are. You know me so well, Casey, but you don’t know a thing about my past. That’s no one’s fault by t my own. Now that past is hurting you, hurting us, so, yes, you have the right to know about it.”

“I’m listening.”

“Where to start,” he sighed. “Very few people know much about it, about my history, and I like it that way. It makes it easy to avoid it, easy to forget. With our jobs, we’re busy and dealing with life and death issues all the time, so when we finally get some downtime, we just want to cut loose or relax. It doesn’t leave much time for exploration of your childhood. That’s been a real benefit for me.”

Casey placed her hand on his shoulder as she moved closer to him.

“I want to know. I want to know all about you, T. Not just the good and happy parts.”

“I know,” he clasped her hand, “I know. And for the first time in my life, I have someone who deserves to know. So I hope you have some time because this could take a while.”

“I’ve no place to be but here.”

He kissed her forehead, then he instinctively moved away when he began.

“Growing up in DC, I lived an unusual life. My dad’s family was not just wealthy, they were powerful, and they loved wielding that power. Every generation was expected to achieve more, to acquire more. The expectations were laid upon us at birth, and you learned early on that failure was not an option. Now, my grandfather, he deviated from the plan, just a little. Before him, the family consisted of businessmen, lawyers, politicians. When he went into medicine, he was considered a disappointment. From what I’ve been told, his father nearly had a stroke.”

“But wait. Your grandfather was Nathaniel Carrick. Nobel prize-winning physiologist Nathaniel Carrick and your great-grandfather had a problemwith that? How high did they want him to aspire?”

Tobias chuckled. “Well, they didn’t know he’d be that Nathaniel Carrick when he decided to be a major. For what it’s worth, one of the only good things the bastard ever did is make pursuing medicine an ‘acceptable’ career choice in our family. Outside of that, I can’t say much good about the man.”

Tobias downed the rest of his coffee and then poured himself a glass of brandy. He motioned to Casey to see if she wanted one too. When she declined, he returned to his chair, drink in hand.

“Free will wasn’t allowed in that family, and neither was making mistakes. The world had to see us as perfect, and nothing less was acceptable, so they saw that everyone succeeded… no matter what they had to do. But, within the walls of the family home, we knew who the winners and losers were, and the losers were pariahs.”

“Now, my dad… he was no loser. He was one of the most brilliant men I’ve ever known, and… overall… he was a good guy too. He knew from day one what he wanted to do, and he did it. He became one of the top pediatricians in the country. He set up charitable endeavors that remain his legacy to this day. He rubbed shoulders with the elite powerbrokers of our nation… yet he was the biggest disappointment our family ever had to endure, according to dear old Nathaniel.”

Casey appeared confused as she shifted on the sofa. “Well, why? I mean, that’s a pretty impressive resume.”

“You would think,” he smirked, “and it was… that is until he fell in love with Vivian Thomas.”

“Your Mom?”

“Mmm-hmm. See, the eldest Carrick son, the heir apparent, was supposed to marry a socialite. Someone of the caliber they deemed to be worthy of the Carrick name. And a poor, black woman from the wrong side of town who was working her ass off to put herself through nursing school didn’t meet the requirements. When my grandfather found out, all hell broke loose. He told my father to end it immediately, or he would be disowned.”

“But he didn’t listen.”

Tobias smirked, “In time, sure. But at first, he did.”

“You’re kidding?”

“No. In fairness, it was a mutual decision between the two of them. My mother’s family was no happier being with him. They knew who the Carrick’s were, and everyone in DC knew who the Carrick’s were. They knew my mother would never be welcomed, and they had the power to destroy her, to destroy her entire family if they wanted to. And, trust me, they would, just to get their way. No… they were not happy… at all.”

“So… they ended things feeling it would be best for everyone. My dad went on to date a debutante that Nathaniel all but handpicked for him, and my mom moved on to a young man from her neighborhood. For a short time, that is. My parents shared a love for the ages. It didn’t take long for them to realize that they could not live without one another. They found their way back to each other and eloped before anyone was the wiser.”

He laughed ruefully, “Let’s just say it didn’t go well. Good ol’ Nathaniel disinherited my father at once. He told him that he was dead to him. He had nothing but disdain and contempt for my mother, and he felt only slightly better about me. But years later, it became clear that I would be his only grandson. So, he decided that he would attempt to tolerate me. See, in the end, his misogynistic views were even stronger than his racism. My only cousins were girls. They may have been white girls, but they were girls, so he didn’t want them to carry on his legacy.”

“For some reason, my parents agreed to attempt to mend fences. We started to see him and the other family members who disowned us again. It wasn’t often, but it was too often if you ask me. Every visit was like a test of endurance. I think he wanted to like me and be happy that I was the one to keep the family name going, but no way was ever going to happen. Growing up as a mixed-race child was difficult enough in the outside world, but I had to deal with that shit at Christmas dinner every year. With my family, with the people who are supposed to love you. Even the ones who wanted to do better failed. They’d comment about how impressed they were with my mother for being so “articulate” because, you know, that was apparently an impossibility for someone like her. My one Aunt would inevitably ask if there wasn’t something they could do about my hair as if there was something wrong with it. I fucking hated it. I didn’t want to go, but my parents insisted, and I began to resent the shit out of them for it.”

“It was different with my mother’s family. They disapproved of the relationship at first, but once they saw that my father truly loved my mother and that he would protect her… at least the best that he could… they warmed to him. And when I was born? I was kin. I was loved. Period. So, as a young child, of course, I preferred being there. I felt like I had a place where I belonged. But as I got older, I lived in a different world. The cousins I grew up with and loved, they were going to run down, dangerous inner-city schools and facing all the challenges that came with that. And here I was, in the most exclusive prep school in the city, sitting next to children of senators and dignitaries. I lived in two worlds and didn’t know how to bridge them. In time, my cousins decided that I didn’t belong with them either. So then I had nowhere.”

He paused for several moments, and Casey walked over, squeezing in next to him on the chair. She silently embraced him until as long as he needed to be held.

“I’m so sorry you had to go through that, T. It breaks my heart.”

He smiled, bringing her hand to his lips. He brushed a kiss across her knuckles.

“It just got worse as I got older. I had no siblings, so I felt so alone, and I sure as hell didn’t feel like anyone understood me. My dad said he did because his family didn’t care for him either. What he didn’t get is his family hated my mother and me solely based on the color of our skin. They hated him for choosing us. I have no doubt in my mind if he had abandoned us, they would have welcomed him back into the fold. But with me, even as the only male grandson, there was nothing I could do to ever be accepted.”

“What about Vivian? Surely she understood what you were going through?”

“Yes, she got it. But my mom knew how to play the game. She wanted to play the game, and I wanted no part of it. My parents loved me and tried to do the best that they could for me. But neither of them truly got it. Plus, they were so in love with each other. Their love was unlike anything I ever witnessed,” he turned and looked at Casey, “that is until I fell for you.”

She nuzzled in closer as he continued. “So even though I was their son, sometimes it felt like I was just in the way. My grandfather did all he could to make them pariahs in the Washington power set. My parents were determined not to let him succeed. My dad used to tell me they had to work twice as hard to prove they belonged, and he was right. But that meant a lot of time away from home.”

“But, Vivian… she adores you, wasn’t she….”

“She does adore me, and she always did. But even now, isn’t it usually from afar? Of course, it’s not such a big deal at 38, but at 8, it was. I grew to resent them, both. I was angry at my mom for selling out, becoming part of a world that was just… superficial, corrupt, racist. She would tell me she was using them. She wanted to help change things, and she could only do it from the inside. In a way, she was right. She made friends with people of power who could write big checks. She wanted the schools in her old neighborhood to improve their science programs. She wanted kids who had no idea what jobs they could even have could pursue those careers. And she got it done, and I can’t tell you how many kids it helped. She impresses the shit out of me. But at what cost? Because she went into it to play the game, but it changed who she was. The mother I knew when I was young never returned. That’s what it takes to make it in that world.”

He looked Casey in the eye, and without saying a word, she understood. He was terrified that the same thing would happen to her.

“And my dad,” he sighed, “my dad. I barely spoke to him for years. I didn’t think he did nearly enough to protect my mother and me.”

“Did Vivian agree?”

“Oh, hell no. Charles Carrick could do no wrong in the eyes of my mother. And you know, neither of us was right. He did try. And he probably did the best he could with the knowledge and understanding he had. Was it enough? Probably not. But I now believe he did the best he thought he could. He loved us both more than anything in the world, and if he could have made the world right for us, he would have. He just didn’t have the experience, the knowledge, or the tools, and he didn’t even see that.”

“You said you barely spoke. When did things go bad? I know you had mentioned that you were both close when you were younger.”

“When it came time to select a college, I decided to go to Howard. And my progressive white father lost it. An HBCU wasn’t exactly at the top of his wish list for where I should attend. In retrospect, I don’t think it had to do with race. He just wanted me in an Ivy. I had the brains, and they had the money and the connections, so he knew I could. I tried to explain to him that there was more to it. That I wanted to go somewhere, I felt like I belonged, where I could identify and grow. But he couldn’t understand, and I don’t think he did enough to try. That is when things started to go bad, and it just got progressively worse. By the time I was in Hopkins, most of my contact with him was through my mother. I saw him a handful of times in a year. He tried… he tried to reach me, but I was so angry that I refused to let him, and then… he died.”

He turned away from Casey as a muffled sob escaped his throat. He gave up fighting the tears he was holding back. Casey pulled him back to her, rocking him gently and giving him the time he needed. Tobias soaked up the love she was giving him. This was one of the only times in his life that he had truly opened up to another, and she didn’t judge, she didn’t minimize, she was just there for him. Just let him know that he was not alone. He didn’t need questions or judgment. He didn’t need to try to make her understand, he simply needed her presence and her love, and that’s exactly what she gave him. He loved her more than he ever loved anyone or anything, and the thought of losing her was unbearable.

“Can I get you some water?”

“Yes, please,” he smiled.

When she returned, they moved to the couch to sit more comfortably. She remained silent, allowing him to control where the conversation would go from there. He turned her with a sad smile.

“Any questions?”

“So many,” she laughed nervously. “But they don’t need to be answered now. But I want to ask just one, did you make peace with your father before he passed?”

“To a degree, but not fully. He was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. He had almost no symptoms, and by the time they appeared, he was given only months to live. There was so much damage to fix, and we only had months to do it, or so we thought. He died three weeks later.”

“Oh, T.…”

“At least I got to tell him I loved him, and he did the same. I just wish we had more time.”

She tenderly stroked his back. “Of course, you do, baby.”

“My mom, she was devastated. I tried to be there for her, but I don’t know… it took a while before she even wanted anyone’s help. She was so caught up in her own grief, and once again, I had to deal with it on my own.”

“You said you were in Hopkins then, were you and Ethan still friends at the time? Did you at least have him?”

“Yeah,” he snickered, “I would have. But that wasn’t long after I fucked him over. I tried to screw over the one real friend I ever had in a quest to prove I was the best and that I could do it on my own. I was a Carrick through and through after all. I was left with nothing, and I thought I deserved it. I still tried to be the best, even though I never was. So I put on this bravado for the world to see. God, I was a cocky, arrogant bastard. I had no commitments, no love, no true friends to speak of… and that’s how I wanted it, at least that’s what I said, but the truth is, I didn’t feel I deserved it, and I didn’t trust myself to not fuck it all up if I had it.”

“But you’re not that person anymore.”

“No, I’m not, and some of that is because of you. More than you know. But it doesn’t take away the damage that was done to me or the damage I inflicted on others.”

“Yeah, but everything has made you who you are now, and I think you’re pretty incredible.”

He smiled and took her hand, “There are many who would disagree. But you see Case. I can’t go back there. Surrounded by the remaining Carricks. Where my last name alone would put all those expectations back in my lap. I don’t want to face the memories every day and… and most of all, I don’t want to watch you become my mother.”

“I… I understand your reasons, except for the last one. T, I’m not your Mom. I will always be me, no matter what. I promise.”

He brushed her hair away from her face and smiled sadly.

“Don’t you understand, sweetheart? She said the same thing. Everyone does. It’s not that I don’t have faith in you. I don’t have faith in the world you’re stepping into. I wish I could do this, but I think it could destroy me, and after all the work I’ve done to become the man I am today, I can’t risk it. I’m afraid you will lose yourself, and I could lose who I am today, and where would that leave us?”

“But you’re only imagining a worst-case scenario, and it doesn’t have to be that way. We could work on this… together.”

“Baby. Listen to me… I can’t. I love you with everything I am, but I escaped that world, and I can’t go back. But… I can’t hold you back from living your dream now that you’re just learning what that dream is. I couldn’t live with myself if I did that to you.”

“OK, so you can’t live there. I understand that. I do. But… couldn’t we just make it work long-distance? I mean, we love each other. We can make that sacrifice, right? Other people do it, and we could make it work.”

“Yes, we could… temporarily. But this doesn’t seem like it a temporary move and, would either of us want a long-distance relationship forever? Our careers don’t allow for a lot of free time, baby. Do we want to see each other one weekend a month if we’re lucky? What kind of future would we have. Could we get married like that? Raise a family? I love you too much to accept you as just a very part-time thing in my life.”

“You love me too much for that, but not enough to make the move with me?”

“Hey… that is not fair. That’s not fair at all. I could turn that around on you and say you don’t love me enough to stay here. And that wouldn’t be fair either.”

“I know. You’re right, and I’m sorry. I just feel… desperate.”

Unable to think of what to do or say, she turned away from him. They were now in the wee hours of the morning, a time when the best of decisions are not often made. They sat on the couch, both looking down at their entwined hands, his thumb gently caressing her. Soon, her tears began to fall on them. She looked up, and the sight of her broke his heart.

With a hoarse voice, she asked, "So, where exactly does this leave us?"

“I don’t know,” he whispered, “I honestly don’t know.”

Casey began to weep. She fell into his arms, and they clung to each other, afraid to let go. Finally, Casey pulled back. She sprung from her seat, and as she wiped the tears from her swollen eyes, she began to speak frantically.

“OK, forget it. Forget it!” She said, pacing the room nervously. “I’m not doing it, I’m not going. Not if it means losing you. I am not even entertaining it any longer.”

Tobias looked at her thoughtfully.

“Yes, you are.”

“No. You don’t get to decide for me, and I’m not. Yeah, if I don’t pursue this, I may have days where I think ‘what if,’ but nowhere near as many days where I would if I lost you.”

“Case. Stop it.”

“NO! So what do you suggest we do? Lose each other forever? I’m not having it, T. I’m not.”

He jumped to his feet and took her into his arms.

“Look, this is all brand new, right. Let’s take some time to think it out. We’ll work together, OK. There has to be a solution, right? Even though I have no idea what it could be. But there has to be one. And we’ll figure it out together. I don’t’ want to lose you.”

“And I never want to lose you.”

“So we’ll figure it out,” cupping her cheeks in his hands he stared at her face, “but we’re not going to solve it tonight. Let’s just go to sleep. Let’s hold each other through the night. Would you like that?”

“I would love that.”

The moonlight shone into their bedroom, bathing everything in a soft glow. Coupled with their emotional exhaustion, it almost felt like a dream. Tobias pulled the covers over them as they slid into bed. He tucked the blankets around her and placed a protective arm around her shoulder. Despite his words to the contrary, he knew that there was no way to guarantee they could work, and it was killing him. And though Casey wanted to believe what he said, she knew it was just hopeful thinking too. But tonight, she couldn’t accept it. For two people who so firmly believed the truth, tonight, they chose to comfort themselves with a lie. The morning sun would shatter the fantasy they were creating for themselves and usher in harsh reality. Deep down, they knew they would have to make their choices and face the consequences of them, be it together or apart. But tonight, they had the moon, they had their love, they had each other's arms, and for now, they were not letting go.

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