#i. i feel weird about the fact especially taken my very difficult relationship with one of the series from which said vampire comes from. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

paxopalotls · 8 months ago

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RAHH i just read both your tue danny / phantom / dan centric works, and how does it feel to be so correct and compelling and correct? more seriously - what about TUE / TUE Danny do you find most interesting to explore? do you have any characterization / headcanon that isn't necessarily canon compatible? and free space (please ramble about them as much as you want)

Sorry it's taken me so long to go through my inbox! I hope you don't mind the long text; TUE is one of my favorite episodes and Dan is a character that I find very fascinating.

Thank you for the kind words aahh! I don't often write so it means a lot that you liked my works. For context if anyone else is reading this, I wrote a couple IB fics about Dan/Phantom, and my thoughts about him, which I'll elaborate on here.

I have a lot of feelings about Dan, especially since he as a character is so tragic. It's strange to me that no one ever mentions the fact that when Vlad performed the removal of Danny's human half, it was Phantom that betrayed Vlad, not the other way around. I always thought that meant there was something wrong with Dan after the accident also. I delve into it a little in my fic, but I do have more thoughts about his attitude. It's interesting to me that the comic portrays his actions as being motivated by Vlad's self preservation and selfishness, and I don't necessarily disagree, but I do think it's more complicated than that. I personally believe his actions have a very complex motivation, more than just "Vlad is evil so fusing with him made Danny also evil".

It's difficult to deal with grief, and from the few scenes shown, it seems Dan dealt with it by shutting down. I also think he had a lot of conflicting feelings of grief and rage; Danny was the one who regularly defeated the ghosts, but he was also the one protecting them from the human ghost hunters, releasing the ghosts back into the GZ rather than allowing them to be taken for experimentation. I think it would anger him that his lenience towards the ghosts was taken advantage of, leading to the deaths of his friends and family. Vlad never showed an inclination towards abusing the ghosts, so this is what I believe caused him to do such uncharacteristically violent things like paralyze Johnny 13 from the waist down, permanently damage one of Box Ghost's eyes and one of his hands, and destroy Ember's vocal cords.

Something I touched on in my fic too is that I believe Danny has a weird relationship with death, due to the fact that he managed to come back from it, and also due to the general existence of ghosts in his life. AGIT states that all ghosts are people who've died, as well as that some lose their humanity over time. Due to this, I have a belief/theory that Dan expected his friends, if not family, to come back, and when they didn't, he dealt with his loneliness through anger. In TUE, he acts like he doesn't care about any of them, but I think he actually cares too much. He is caustic and taunting towards them, his parents especially, because his anger at them for hurting him is compounded by his grief at their loss.

In addition, the interference of Clockwork probably also contributed to his anger; there are two timelines that exist, the one where Danny lost and the one where he didn't, and the only reason that he won was because of the interference of Time himself. I think this is a lot of what motivates Dan's actions in TUE; he's trying to prove to Danny that the timeline is "inevitable" because he's trying to prove it to himself. His loved ones have already died, and he's angry that this alternate Danny gets a second chance. The only moment of true vulnerability we see in him during TUE is when he realizes that Jazz, his Jazz from his timeline, had always known who he was. It's obvious that despite his efforts to seem unemotional about everything, all of his actions are due to his turbulent emotions, and this is even more evident in canon due of AGIT confirming that ghosts are beings of emotion.

I do think Vlad's emotional state also compounds with this, since Vlad as a character is more prone to hiding his hurts than Danny, which is a large part of what makes up Dan's personality. In addition, Vlad's character is largely driven by a desire for family and affection, but he responds to this insecurity with a need for control and self-aggrandizement. Vlad's goals throughout the show are to amass power, largely to prove himself to those he cares about - Danny and Maddie - as well as to spite those he hates - Jack. His feelings for Jack seem more complicated than that, however; he is upset at what he sees as a betrayal by someone he obviously cared about; the two of them were best friends and roommates before Maddie was in the picture.

I think both Danny and Vlad center a lot of themselves on the people they love, though it's more evident on Vlad's side, and Dan as a combination of them does as well. His tendency is often similar to "splitting" in BPD, where he responds to a perceived betrayal or personal weakness with volatility, which is something Vlad does as well, with Jack, Maddie in some ways and especially with Danny. Dan as well responds with hostility towards people he is attached to who he perceives as hurting him, something that is complicated by the fact that part of what he blames them for is the fact that they died. He is especially ruthless with people he sees as betraying him or his lenience, like Valerie and the ghost rogues gallery; this is also a combination of Vlad and Danny's personalities. Vlad's hatred tends to be more long-standing than Danny's but he also tends to be more methodical with his actions. Danny on the other hand responds to his own anger with immediate aggression, but lets go of slights relatively quickly. Dan, as the combination of the two, holds grudges for a long time, but tends to rely on brute force rather than long term plans like Vlad would have.

He also has a lot of self-loathing, which he projects onto Danny and Vlad from this timeline, Danny especially. As I mentioned earlier, a large factor in this is Clockwork's direct involvement in the current timeline, which superseded his. In addition, I think that Danny and Vlad's interpersonal dynamic might have fed into this; both of them can't bring themselves to permanently harm the other but they do both hold some level of resentment for the other, Danny more-so since Vlad has an attachment to him. Danny's hatred for Vlad especially seems to derive in part from his own fears about himself and his selfishness, and I think that influences the way Dan interacts with both of them.

TLDR: Dan's specific concoction of mental illness derives from both Vlad and Danny, which affects a lot about how he acts and feels. There's a lot to explore about his trauma and how that relates to his new place in the current timeline, and I have a lot of feelings about him. (He makes me sad!!)

#danny phantom #danny fenton #dp fanfic #dp meta #I wrote a couple fics about him #and I probably will write more #when I do end up writing again #my main fandom contribution is Not Writing though sorry #dan phantom #the ultimate enemy #pax rambling #this was literally just me yapping lmao

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chevelleneech · 2 months ago

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Lol IShowSpeed telling Jackson Wang "I know you got a girlfriend, stop lying" and Jackson going "no girlfriend or boyfriend". Took two seconds for it to click in Speed's brain and he's like "...boyfriend?" and Jackson just nonchalantly goes "nothing" 💀

It's exactly like Namjoon during that one interview. Surprisingly the comments under Jackson's video weren't weird at all, in fact they seemed to readily accept the fact that Jackson is bisexual/queer and even made lighthearted jokes. Unfortunately we can't have such nice things when it comes to ARMYs and most kpop fandoms. People would be getting their accounts reported and suspended or bullied of social media with nonstop cyberbullying for even suggesting that the words that are coming out the members' mouths mean what they mean.

E: "Omg guys Yoongi just made another bi-sexual innuendo! Maybe he really swings both ways!"

"How dare you even entertain such a thought? Don't ever call yourself army again because all people like you do is hurt the boys, they don't like fans thinking of them like that" lmao

I had the exact same thoughts, anon, I cannot lie.

I did see plenty of Jackson/Got7 fans saying Jackson has been pretty consistent in saying things that insinuate he’s bi, but I don’t follow him so I don’t know if they’re as “ambiguous” as what Namjoon says or if they’re based in lyrics like Yoongi’s. As such, I kind of chose to just not think about it, because I don’t know much about him and didn’t want to dwell on the topic and irritate myself, lol.

That said, like I said, Namjoon’s words from that interview were the first thing pop into my head, because it’s basically the same exact answer. An interviewer asked them if they’re dating, they responded with “No boyfriend, no girlfriend”. It’s truly not a difficult answer to comprehend, but people act as if Namjoon speaking three languages means he must have slipped up. Even though he’d been speaking English (even back then) for a long time. And it’s not like Jackson Wang’s first langauge is English either. Its one of like four that he knows, if I recall.

Point is, I think fans are so hell bent on protecting idols that they forget these are often grown people, who know the consequences of their actions. I would hope Jackson faces none, given he’s 30 years old and has been in the entertainment industry for nearly half his life. Him being bi isn’t a big deal, but it is cool to know due to the precise industry he is in.

That said, I do wish the members of BTS could be taken at their word a little more or feel less like they have to tow a line of ambiguity. Personally, I don’t think there is much mystery in lyrics about giving men and women oral, but maybe that’s just me, lol? I also think Namjoon was pretty clear in his words in that interview. As well, I think him adding fuel to the fire about his boyfriend rumor was done intentionally, so it’s really just a matter of fans needing to allow idols the courtesy of not belittling their intelligence.

They are aware of the things said about them online, and while I think Jackson said he has no girlfriend or boyfriend in a bit of a different platform than where Namjoon said it, Speed’s streaming is still extremely popular and widespread. So if Jackson isn’t actually queer or didn’t want to come out on a large scale, he simply wouldn’t have said what he said (or so I hope, regarding the former). In my opinion, the same goes for Namjoon and Yoongi.

Straight people who aren’t striving to just cause chaos, are not out here saying they don’t have same sex partners when asked about their dating life. And even if we never see them in queer relationships, the likelihood of Yoongi unknowingly rapping about fucking men and women well, is very very low. Especially because he let the lyric ride for years. There’s a moan in the background, and he would hump the damn air as he said it. The line was written with intent, and fans choosing to ignore that is ridiculous.

All in all, idols be gay. Not all of them, obviously, but even just one is enough to matter, yet surely we know there’s thousands more than one. That’s just a fact of the world, and I genuinely hope more idols begin to realize and use to their advantage the fact that their industry is rather small in the grand scheme and coming out will only do them well. Not necessarily coming out in a global way, because no one has to come out like that at all, but casual drops? Go for it. They’re not going to shutdown the entire Korean/Japanese/Chinese pop industries. They make too much money, and if the major artists leave… so does the bulk of that income and the belief that being queer is wrong.

Which is a much more complex convo, but overall I think Jackson being in Got7 and them having the sort of indie idol group thing going on has protected them a bit. They’re no longer under the massive JYPE microscope, but they’re also not small fries. They’ve put in their time, meaning they can be a little more relaxed.

So again, I’m happy for the reaction Jackson is getting. It’s the best outcome, honestly.

#jackson wang #kpop #fandom

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girderednerve · 5 months ago

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i want to talk about FANFICTION for the VAMPIRE SHOW, beloved mutuals please avert yr eyes unless you are also into that

actually sidebar i have a coworker at the library who writes paranormal romance novels & got excited when i mentioned the vampire show. apparently she completely missed that anne rice had died? even though it happened, uh, three years ago? which is normal actually but i had a moment of deep confusion where i was like, 'but how could anyone miss the "fanfiction is finally legal" jokes? they were everywhere,' but fortunately most people do not have the same relationship to online that i do. ANYWAY!

one of the things that i really like about reading fanfiction is that all of the fandoms have their little trends & takes, in-jokes & weird arguments & stylistic trends. i can't be sure but i believe that the earlier fan writing culture for the books (& the '94 movie) is very different from the new wave focused on the show, but i am a neophyte. a poser. & because queen goth held a grudge against fanfiction for a time, it's very difficult to figure out whether i'm right about this or not. the book fic on ao3 that i've read is fascinating, though! it's a very sexy kind of sexless, which i have chosen to read as accommodating of one's physical dysphoria because it pleases me to do so; & like every other piece of period romantic fiction it fascinates me with which historical details fic writers seem to care about (very few, lol). if you have thoughts or recommendations please share!! i should just read the books but alas it has not happened for me yet, i might just try jumping to the vampire lestat & seeing if that gets me anywhere

one of the things i have been thinking about a lot is the kind of relationship that fans who are reading & writing about louis & lestat want to find between the two of them, because they are the founding couple for the rice vampires, right? their marital problems are kind of universe-defining, so it's interesting to me to think about what the boundaries are. fanfiction tends to go one of two ways: lestat & louis have always loved one another & their problems stem from louis' failure to understand lestat, or lestat has always taken advantage of louis (&, usually, that's sexy). i don't think either of these capture what i find so bewitching about the show, but then i have not done an exhaustive survey & may be a very bad reporter. the thing i like about the two of them is that it's always both, it's always neither, their relationship is always a living project, subject to redefinition by both sides, which feels very true to me. but especially after s1, there was some interest in bracketing one's desire to think about the gay vampires with clear acknowledgment that the relationship under consideration follows a familiar cultural model of domestic violence. which, like, it does! the fact that we go back over some of these key events in s2 & reframe them doesn't (or, in my view at least, shouldn't require us to) unmake the earlier narrative. they're just in tension with each other. all this to say i found it immensely clarifying to read fanfiction which was interested in defending lestat after s1, especially in comparison to the apologies that he explicitly makes in s2.

there's the vampire question, right, or i guess the fiction problem in general; if these people are made up & we are making them up again, how seriously do we have to take the harm that they do to each other? lestat murders louis, pressures him into doing more murders, brutally assaults him, and tries to have him killed; louis tries to kill lestat. also both of them say some very mean things to each other. however, they are vampires! so we don't have to treat it literally, right? we can just sort of go 'ah, but it's different for vampires,' and then return to our romance novel plot structure. this kind of fanfiction approach is really invested in whether these two people love each other & know that they are loved; there's a big focus on who says it to whom & when, which is interesting to me because it so obviously runs on fantasy logic. the question is never 'does lestat really love louis' or vice versa, but what does it mean that they love each other & act this way? is there some bright line beyond which love becomes impossible? and if not, what does it look like to return to one another? and that is a romance novel structure, too: the whole subgenre of second-chance romance, which i don't often read because i mostly don't like hearing about heterosexual marriages. but they're gay vampires, so surely it is different,

the contrast is why it is so fun to read armand & daniel's whole fucked up deal next to louis & lestat's whole fucked up deal, because it makes the latter pair seem almost vanilla by comparison. but it isn't! what armand is doing is just more literal. we reshape the people around us, right? we write narratives together, we remember differently together than apart; i think about this a lot because every time i talk to my mom we talk about my dad & we remember him differently every single time, & we talk about that too; anger, regret, embarrassment, fondness by turns, in tension. it is true of relationships which are less painful, too. but why am i reading about vampires if i am interested in the small-scale cyclical human drama of annoyance & forgiveness, self-recriminations & external blame? i don't want a series of carefully phrased i statements which read as a manual for how someone else thinks i should try to run my relationships! i want to read about something less literal & more visceral, because i can hardly fit my own feelings in my body most of the time & i would like an excuse for someone else to be roiling in drama. anyway i have found it hard to find fan writing which wants to be there with me, because i think it troubles the romantic mode. probably i am just not doing a very good job searching. anyway i think it is very romantic to be remade by people who love us & also the most terrifying thing i can imagine, and i can't resolve that so i don't want the story to resolve it either. and for whatever reason it's easier to read hundreds of fanfictions than it is to just read, the book, i don't know

the other thing that i have been thinking about reading fanfiction is women. revolutionary, i realize. i love antoinette, who i feel was very hard done by in the story & for whom i expected to see sympathy in fanfiction (don't laugh at me!). anyway there isn't really much for her, which makes me sad; lestat ate her life & wasn't even interested in her, which is classic lestat (derogatory). also i wanted to read about claudia, not as an angel but as a person who calls madeleine her 'one thing,' who cut off another woman's breast & kept it in her armoire, whose instinct for viciousness lestat admires & louis seems neutral on. i want to watch her do stuff, but both of these characters usually fade into the background; claudia's a barrier or a catalyst or a painting on the wall, antoinette is an annoyance, madeleine's a wholesome consolation prize. also i am always thinking about vampire money(.mp3)

maybe i should just read academic scholarship instead. maybe that would make me less annoying, or more productively annoying. i should walk to the college library & see if i can get my hands on their copy of 'our vampires, ourselves'

#vampire show 4ever #actually mostly i am just thinking about lestat apologia & what's going on in there. just rattling the tin #SORRY for whatever is going on with me & the vampire show

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snootysnoots · 2 years ago

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-You're pretty hot for a living bitch-

-I've been playing IDV again and I've also been playing as Embalmer/Aesop so why not. And I haven’t posted in a month so have this my beloveds-

-------------Embalmer x Gender-neutral! Reader Headcanons-------------

When I imagine datable IDV Characters, Embalmer doesn't pop up in my head. I like him, but dating him isn't for the weak. You have to be patient with Aesop and your love story is most certainly a slow burn. So let me tell you how Embalmer slowly started to open himself to you.

-Acquaintances-

Aesop doesn't like the living, so that's already a difficult start. Aesop doesn't frequently hang out with people in the manor unless they have similar careers and/or interests to Aesop himself.

If you did have similar interest to Aesop, you might get to know him faster. But if you don’t, you’ll probably have to make the first move to get an interaction with him.

I would say you meet (properly) after or during a match. You helped him out a bit, mostly cause you wanted to have a conversation with the guy, but it’s the thought that counts. Anyways, after the round he did thank you. You probably have to save him a couple of more times before you two had a proper conversation.

But the conversation happened...It was awkward as hell, but you did it. And at that moment it was all that mattered. Soon the two of you would have small conversations about random things or ongoing events.

After a (long) while, he starts to slowly start looking for you to have conversations with. He really starts to enjoy your presents much more.

-Attraction-

It takes years for Aesop to start feeling anything romantic for you. He didn’t even know when he started seeing you more than a friend, in fact, he thought he was dying when he got this weird feeling whenever he was with you.

He welcomed the feeling since it felt kind of nice. He didn’t know what it was until he asked a hunter (your hunter of choice)...while being chaired. It was an interesting conversation to say the less. He got his answer though and he was in love. He was heavily taken aback. He never really thought about loving someone and he could barely stand living human beings so this was difficult for him to understand.

At first, he did avoid you. He just couldn’t accept the fact he was in love, so he avoided you any time he could. he just didn’t want to face the fact he was in love.

You would probably have to corner him to get him to talk, but it’ll take a while for him to start talking. So in the meantime, you two just stared at each other intensely, very awkwardly.

But he did start speaking soon, it was weird for him, especially since he didn’t talk much about his emotion. But it felt nice.

And after talking a bit more, you guys started dating. Though it would have been pretty funny if you rejected him, that’s just a me thing. A very cruel and mean me thing.

-Honeymoon-

It’s a little awkward in the beginning I’ve said this word so much during this writing, but honestly, that describes any type of relationship with Aesop but most relationships that begin start a little awkward. He was really distant in the beginning, he just didn’t know how to feel and couldn’t fully comprehend that he was in a relationship. A romantic one at that, but he slowly got comfortable.

He, surprisingly, gets flustered pretty easily. Handholding was so hard for him, man was sweating and flustered as hell. But he did it and honestly, he didn’t want to let go of your hand. He was all warm and so comfortable.

He is 100% the little spoon. He likes the feeling of your arms around him, makes him feel safe and loved.

OH! Your guy's first kiss. Honestly, it was pretty romantic...If you count kissing next to a dead body romantic that is. Embalmer initiated it, he didn’t know what came over him. The moment just felt right to him. He was blushing like crazy when you both pulled apart, he even apologized. You reassured him that it was fine I mean hopefully you did, I would in a heartbeat.

Ok, first time in la sheets. It was slow and gentle. It was Aesop's first time not sure about you, but knowing your reading this I can’t say. Now, I’m not sure if Embalmer would dominant or submissive, but he was there. For the first time, I’m a let you be more dominant. It was a very soft moment for the two of you. You had to reassure Aesop a lot, but you made sure he was just as satisfied as you. You made sure to kiss him a bunch, whether it was on his shoulder, neck, forehead, etc. It was a magical night for you both...Maybe I should write this more in-depth.

-True Love-

Aesop doesn’t date for short-term, he doesn’t go for one-night stands, and Aesop dates for forever. Aesop doesn’t build up relationships easily, so he plans to keep you forever. Til death do you part and even then he plans to have your corpses lay with his when the time comes.

Now I’m sure Aesop wouldn’t want a large wedding, but he would agree to a small wedding or to elope. And the day of your wedding was a day he will always remember.

Embalmer was very happy with your relationship, he never imagined he would have something like this. He always imagined he would live his life alone, but that isn’t what happened. This was the best thing to ever happen to him, you were the best thing to ever happen.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It’s been a while since I’ve posted, I meant to post this sooner but things came up. But hey, better late then never. Hope you guys have been doing well and have a nice day/afternoon/night.

#idv embalmer #embalmer x reader #identity v embalmer #aesop carl x reader

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whimsicaldragonette · 3 months ago

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ARC Review: The Broposal by Sonora Reyes

Publication Date: January 21, 2025

Synopsis:

In this Latinx adult romance debut from National Book Award Finalist Sonora Reyes, two friends enter into a marriage of convenience to save one from deportation—but everything changes when they unexpectedly fall in love. Alejandro (Han for short) has never been in love. He purposefully keeps his heart at arm’s length from anyone who might want it, which he lets his family and friends think is due to commitment-phobia paired with a heavy dose of emotional constipation. Now, though, he's coming to learn that it might have more to do with his fear of looking too deeply inward, whether that be his sexuality (he's straight, right?), or the looming anxiety about being undocumented in an increasingly hostile environment. On the other hand, Han’s roommate and best friend, Kenny, is stuck in a soul-sucking relationship with a woman who wants nothing more than for Kenny to ditch Han and marry her. Kenny can't stand being alone, and has always been afraid of being punished for making the wrong choice, so his girlfriend happily makes most of his decisions for him. But when she forces his hand and makes him choose between their relationship and his best friend, he finally knows without a doubt who the correct choice is. But things aren’t as easy as they should be with Kenny's ex out of the picture. When Han loses the job that had promised to sponsor his work visa, it leaves the two of them anxious as ever. In order to give his best friend a chance at security (and ok, maybe to make his ex a little jealous), Kenny asks Han to marry him. But neither of them are prepared for the very real feelings pretending to be madly in love stirs up.

My Review:

★★★★

This book was a lot heavier than I was expecting which made it difficult to read in the past few weeks, while everything we've taken for granted is so heavy and in so much upheaval. I was like I'll read a queer book to help ease my heart but that… didn't work so well.

Parts of this did in fact ease my heart and make me forget about current affairs. Kenny and Han had such a great caring relationship, and the scenes between them were great.

I would get really into the story and forget the real-world happenings, and then ICE would be brought up and it would be a gut-punch reminder of oh, right, that's what our world is like now. And then I'd get sucked into the story again.

Han being undocumented and scared about ICE discovering him, enough that he couldn't go to the hospital when he broke his ankle so it never healed properly, was hard to read, especially in our current political atmosphere. And the way that was used to threaten him was horrid.

I really liked how most of the characters were Latinx. It immediately created a sense of community that added some much-needed comfort to the book.

Kenny's abusive ex Jackie really threw a wrench in things, and it was hard to watch him trying to stand up to her. She was just so over-the-top evil, though. The second half was hard to read because she just wouldn't go away.

Also, I felt like a lot of situations were glossed over so we didn't really have to delve into feelings or have heart to hearts. Kenny and Han would just suddenly fake a fight or make a joke and run away? That was a little weird. I just wanted them to open up emotionally. I mean the reasons they struggle with that are good, so I understand why they didn't, but it was frustrating.

For all of that, it had a lot of heart and touched on a lot of issues that I care about. I couldn't help but like Kenny and Han. And I really liked Letty. They should have been on page more.

I think I might have had an easier time really getting into the book and enjoying it more if we weren't living in the times we are living in.

The audiobook was really well done. The narrators did a great job bringing Kenny and Han to life. Listening helped with the immersion and with forgetting about the world.

Overall, this was a really good read. I would just recommend saving it for a time when the country isn't in such upheaval.

*Thanks to Forever and Hachette Audio for providing an early copy for review.

#sonora reyes #the broposal #queer romance #shilo reads #arc review #netgalley #book review #queer books #latinx romance

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whatifyoulivelikethat · 3 years ago

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not allowed, interlude | 20220918

drabble: ‘not allowed’ series; fluff, neck kisses pairing(s): est. relationship yoongi x reader x jungkook

You boyfriend found out you take photos of your other boyfriend, but you haven't asked to take photos of him. And he's salty about it! Not jealous. Okay, maybe a little jealous.

is this an excuse for wiyllt to have this photo on the blog again? yes. yes, it is.

“You took this photo?”

You glanced over and chuckled. “Yeah, Yoongi was taking selcas and I was annoying him by taking his phone. What are you doing? And I told him, smile, and that’s the photo.” You half-smirked. “I take photos of him all the time. With his phone, of course. He says it annoys him but he likes it.”

“All the time?”

You sensed… something.

You put your phone down – a difficult feat, considering you were currently planning out your next moves for a particular level of a particular puzzle game that featured seven big heads that you spent too much of your free time (and money) on – and caught those big brown eyes trying to hide from you, but there was no hiding the pout in that voice, or the one on his face, lips upturned to expose the small mole underneath that you loved so much.

You never shut up about it, after all.

You tilted your head at him, raising a questioning eyebrow.

Jeon Jungkook, the Golden Maknae of BTS, known for his big muscles, an even bigger presence on stage, and the biggest peepers of them all (a deadly combination), caved in immediately at the piercing quality of your gaze.

“You… You don’t take pictures of me, noona…” he mumbled, shifting his eyes to his phone, but not really looking at it. A shame, really, because the Instagram feed that belonged to SUGA of BTS was currently on his phone screen. It would have been very easy to tease him, but you didn’t.

“You aren’t tired of it?”

A tiny frown and inquisitive stare. “Huh?”

You let your gaze soften, giving him a rueful smile. “You know I can’t take photos of you on my phone. But, more importantly, you guys have cameras around you all day, not to mention the paparazzi. I don’t want to make you feel like you’re in a zoo.” You lowered your head, running your hand through your hair somewhat distractedly.

“You…”

You let your eyes drift back to him, to messy black hair haloing the handsome face you knew well, angular jaw and slightly parted lips, mature qualities that contrasted the bright youth within those starry eyes.

“Thank about all that?”

You smirked good-naturedly, trying to cloak your embarrassment.

“Of course. I love you.”

You loved to take photos of your boyfriend.

Problem was that you couldn’t because, well, he happened to be a global superstar that, ahem, shouldn’t be dating. You didn’t really care about that (and clearly he didn’t either, especially when he was balls deep) but you had rules nonetheless and one of them was not taking photos of each other with your personal phones. Obviously, you never took photos together either. However, unlike him, you could have hundreds of photos of said superstar on your phone. Thanks, HYBE. In fact, it would be weird if you didn’t. Being a fan of them was as natural as breathing.

That was your completely unbiased opinion as the one fucking SUGA and Jung Kook of BTS.

So.

Anyway.

You loved to take photos of Min Yoongi, yet you never did. One of the reasons did not need to be discussed. It must be tiring, after all, to be constantly followed by cameras and getting your pictures taken by staff and fans alike. Time with him was already limited. You didn’t want to make him feel like he was at work when you were together. Other reason was that there should be no tangible proof of you two dating. And, also.

When you first started dating, Yoongi did not believe he was photogenic.

He did enter the music industry to become a producer at first. His own appearance wasn’t the focal point nor something he paid much attention to – that’s obvious, you pointed out after seeing his audition video, earning you a disapproving glare and a grouchy growl – and then he was suddenly surrounded by idol trainees that were the highest of standards when it came to attractiveness, leading him to think, well, shit, I should at least slap a moisturizer on.

Yoongi never really gave a single fuck about what other people thought, but he was young then and sometimes such thoughts were hard to ignore when it was constant and “part of the industry”.

So, you never took photos of him and he never asked you to. Back then, you didn’t really have an interest in it anyway, especially when there was more time. There was no need for photos when you felt like you had forever. But now you were both older, he was busier, and there was the same amount of time, just more sleep because unfortunately becoming older meant you actually needed it.

Hmph.

And also, admittedly, you both had to grow to appreciate your own bodies. For it was one thing to be praised by another, and something completely different when it came to looking in the mirror. It wasn’t the body, you and him decided.

“It’s whether or not you can look yourself in the eyes,” Yoongi had murmured to you quietly.

“Yeah,” you had agreed, leaning against him.

Neither of you really believed in the boxed-in walls that society liked to put masculinity and femininity in, but it did take a while for both of you to sledgehammer those walls down for yourselves. You had to learn to believe it even though you knew it was true. It had to be done silently and with much self-reflection.

Ah, the joys of growing up in a conservative, collectivist society.

When you finally took a photo of Yoongi, it was already many years down the line and with the addition of another boyfriend, which probably said more than enough about how you and Yoongi felt about the society you grew up in.

Mmm.

“What are you doing?”

“Taking a picture of you.”

Yoongi raised his eyebrows at you as you handed him his phone back. “I haven’t removed my makeup yet.”

“That’s why I thought that you could post it for ARMY later.”

It was on a whim, taking a photo of him. He looked back at the photo of himself in his hand, then at you. Unlike your phone full of photos of his public appearances, Yoongi had no pictures of you. Not even a blurry one. He couldn’t, of course. He could only go to your Instagram and, even then, those photos were more artistic, primarily of your outfits and with your face always partially covered. It was a precaution, of course. The less obvious online presence you had, the better. Internet sleuths were quite resourceful these days.

He placed his phone on his pocket and held out his hand.

“Give me yours for a sec.”

You handed your BTS special edition S20+ to him. “I’m not wearing makeup.”

Yoongi opened up the camera app and lifted his hand. Held your phone slightly above eye level and then those dark brown orbs shifted, looking into yours.

He smiled.

“I know.”

You smiled back and Yoongi took a photo of you.

The next time you saw Jungkook, he had something to show you.

You were in a bit of a distracted mood for several reasons. BTS were preparing for the concert, which meant everyone was busier and more tired from practice. You had your own personal shit going on, being an adult and all. Nothing crazy, but definitely not what was advertised when you were somehow coerced into adulthood. Also, you hadn’t seen Yoongi in a while. Clearly, his studio had kidnapped him. At least you knew who the kidnapper was, and they could have him for as long as Yoongi needed the studio.

Yeah, you were pretty sure that if Yoongi ever got kidnapped, he would somehow finesse the kidnapper into thinking they were the ones trapped with him.

Tongue technology.

Gets ‘em every time.

It should have crossed your mind that Jeon Jungkook would be up to something, considering he was definitely sacrificing rest time to see you, but, then again, Jungkook was a horny man and he didn’t care about rules.

He respected them.

Didn’t care though.

Instead, you nonchalantly let the youngest shower you with affection as you put on your mock grump face (that you may have learned from a certain someone), and then he shoved his phone into your hand, nudging you with his nose as you wiggled about to get a better angle.

“Look at these cute photos of Bamie I took.”

Similar to his owner, Bamie caught off-guard looked like a dork, but a cute, irresistible dork.

“You should get some themed dog clothes for the holidays,” you snickered at the photos of the big snoot, swiping away, ignoring your ribs being sandwiched between Jungkook’s forearms. “Bamie should at least have a Halloween costume.”

Before you could start suggesting every Marvel character introduced in the movies thus far, your amusement came to a full dead stop.

…

You blinked slowly.

This is not allowed.

You usually had a better crafted, snarky thought related to what was and wasn’t allowed, but this? This wasn’t it. This transition from cute Doberman photos to a selca. A normal one, no problem.

This?

This photo was Jungkook in low light. Mirror selca with his right arm raised, his hand running through his hair, lashes lowered to check the camera, shirtless.

Yeah.

Shirtless.

Hence the lack of creativity when it came to your made-up rules for what was not allowed.

You narrowed your eyes. You felt his head shift and suddenly warm breath on your ear. He was hugging you from behind, triumph in his whisper as his lips grazed the curve of your ear.

“Keep swiping.”

Breathed your name in your ear, soft and earnest, making you remember it for years to come.

He was daring you.

Goddamnit.

Unfortunately for you, and probably fortunately for him, you had a competitive streak. Not just a curiosity streak when it came to his photos. You stalking Jungkook’s Twitter tag to begin with was enough of an indication of your curiosity and, ahem, respectful appreciation. And, while you appreciated all topless photos of Jungkook (thank you to that courageous button that freed the goods to the general public), this was a challenge. Jungkook was challenging you to a battle. A ‘keep-swiping-if-you-dare’ and, as he definitely already knew what you would do, you lifted a finger and did just that.

Basically the same selca, but with his head tipped back, lips slightly parted, lids half-lowered.

Casually sensual.

Cocky.

You breathed out slowly, heartbeat racing. Wouldn’t have given anything away if it wasn’t for Jungkook being so close and lightly licking your ear. An uncontrollable shiver slid up your spine. Stubbornly, you flicked your thumb again.

Smirking.

Jungkook was smirking at you in the photo and he was looking at the camera like he fucking knew exactly what the fuck he was doing.

You brat.

“You should take photos of me too, noona.”

He was kissing down your neck, forcing you to tilt your head.

You kept your voice calm, even though inside your inner self was screaming at you to rip his clothes off and punish him, right here, right now.

“Are you…”

Look at that face. Fuck.

“Jealous?”

You turned his phone screen off.

Teeth on your skin. A light, possessive nip. Mhm. The perilla leaf discussion should have prepared you for this side of Jungkook. Yes, the current arrangement was an agreement between Yoongi, you, and Jungkook, and he was not trying to upstage his hyung, but it was pretty clear that the youngest was a little upset at you for this very minor difference.

You raised a hand and pressed his head to your shoulder.

His hand yanked down the side of your shirt to pull the neckline out of his way, and then his lips attacked the exposed skin, sending pleasurable sparks dancing through your veins.

“Are you mad at me, Jungkook?” you murmured.

“I want you to take pictures of me too,” was his stubborn mumble against your skin, squeezing you between his hard forearms again.

You let out a pleased hum, letting it slip into a smokey moan, rolling your ass into his crotch. Hm. Hard already. You rubbed against him, tangling your fingers in his hair as you snickered mischievously.

“You want me to take photos of you with your clothes on or off?”

“Noona!”

“What? You’ve made it clear that don’t want them on around me anyway.”

drabble after the fact music awards.

drabbles masterpost | masterpost

#jungkook x reader #yoongi x reader #yoonkook x reader #bts idol au #yoonkook x you #jungkook x you #yoongi x you #jeon jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook x you #min yoongi x reader #min yoongi x you

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heartoftheserpent · 3 years ago

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Same Dumbledore Bros person - Give me the HC's, the more angsty the better!

To me they never really got a chance to be brothers because by the time Albus was eleven, he'd had to take over his dads role and be the second parent to his siblings. The mum seems a bit checked out as well.

OKAY THANK YOU FOR WAITING i had to finish work so now i can answer this properly

okay so. I love Albus. I wish he had a great relationship with his brother. I tooootally see the appeal.

It's just not how I read things. So. Let me break down my feelings about their relationship and how I read it.

Aberforth never forgave Albus.

By the time of the FB movies, the two are certainly in contact, enough that Albus comes over often, tries to talk to him, tries to spend time with him. He's often rebuffed, but not sent away.

Frankly, in FB, they seem closer than they do in the canon books. Moody mentions in OotP that he's only met Aberforth once, and he and Albus have been friends for decades. While he's obviously doing important work for the Order in spying in the Hog's Head, Aberforth seems to do it begrudgingly. He doesn't go on missions, and he talks a lot of smack against Albus to Harry, Ron, & Hermione.

(Side note - the bit where he says that "Albus learned secrets and lies at our mother's knee" feels...very weird to me. Aberforth knows full well that the reason they kept secret was so Ariana wouldn't be taken away. Why be upset about that? Idk. It's just weird.)

Aberforth's words to Harry make it very clear that he expects Albus to have burdened Harry with something he couldn't possibly carry, that he faults Albus for expecting too much of people, that he thinks people would be better off if they forgot Albus. He literally says, "Forget my brother and his clever schemes," and tells them that they'll live longer if they do. He still clearly blames Albus for Ariana's death, and holds it against him even after ninety-nine years have passed.

And the thing is, that means that from the time of FB to the 1990s, they have literally decades to talk and to try to heal, especially if they're bonding over Credence/Aurelius or losing him or whatever's going on with Albus and Gellert, and obviously they do not, because they're even farther apart then than they are in the films.

Albus has complicated feelings towards Aberforth.

Albus is one of the gentlest, kindest people in the series, except towards those he thinks are behaving badly. He's famous for it - he's even mannerly to the Death Eaters in HBP who've come to kill him, and Harry notes how frustrating it is that he refuses to ever speak ill of Snape or Draco Malfoy. He is occasionally a bit snarky towards some of the teachers (Trelawney comes to mind), but never verging on slander.

But the first time we hear about Aberforth, Albus cheerfully tells Hagrid that his brother was arrested for The Goat Business, then claims that he's probably illiterate. This seems uncharacteristically biting for him. Then over books five and six, he mentions the barman at the Hog's Head as an informant a few times, but never mentions that the barman is in fact his own brother. He does claim in DH when he's deep in his feelings that Aberforth is "infinitely more admirable" than himself, but frankly that seems less like praise of Aberforth and more like that classic Albus Brand Self-Loathing (now even stronger!!).

The Gay Thing

It's difficult to judge Aberforth's reaction to Albus's sexuality as a thing in and of itself, because he is only reacting to Albus's one (1) boyfriend, who happens to be. Well. Grindelwald. But I'd argue he doesn't seem entirely comfortable with it.

He doesn't tell Albus, "I'm going to stay home from school no matter what you say and take care of Ariana." He says, in his own words, "You'd better give it up now."

Here we leave, to paraphrase Albus, the firm foundation of fact, and we shall be journeying together through the murky marshes and thickets of wildest headcanon.

Aberforth's version of the start of the duel is that he confronted Albus and Gellert and told them they had to stop seeing each other. Then "there was an argument." Gellert then used the Cruciatus curse on him, and they all started three-way dueling.

Albus's version in DH says that Aberforth was "shouting" truths at him, and then "the argument became a fight. Grindelwald lost control."

(I can't remember the exact wording of Albus's version in SoD, I just remember that he said Aberforth drew his wand first, "which was foolish.")

So...if Aberforth was already saying "You can't take Ariana, stop seeing each other now, you have to stay here," and Gellert was already calling him a stupid little boy who didn't understand anything, I think what escalated it from an argument into a fight is that Aberforth started tossing slurs around.

And I specifically think that because -

We've seen Aberforth use at least one slur.

When Minerva knocks on the door during the brothers having a meal, he shouts to "Read the sign, you stupid sod!"

Yep, pretty common insult. But don't forget, this is a kid who came of age when Oscar Wilde was imprisoned for Gross Indecency, for the crime of being a sodomite. We've seen tons of other insults hurled around in the books - prat, wanker, git, etc. But never this one before. I don't think it's a concidence.

Really, if he was just being rude, he could have said anything. But his instinct was to use a slur that he knows full well is entirely applicable to his brother, who is sitting across from him at the table.

He apologizes to Minerva for calling her that. But he doesn't apologize to Albus for using it as an insult. Again - yes, this is a very common insult at the time, but so was f*g in the 90s. It still means more if you're hurling it around next to your openly gay brother.

okay whew this got long, I have an entirely different set of headcanons about Percival and Kendra but this is frankly long enough.

#Dumbledore brothers #Dumbledore family #Albus Dumbledore #Aberforth Dumbledore #Grindeldore #asks

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eponymous-rose · 4 years ago

Text

Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E127 (March 2, 2021)

Tonight’s guests are, of course, Ashley Johnson and Marisha Ray!

Marisha, on her thought process behind the date: “It was a fascinating study on designing something with another player in trying to navigating how to do that in a way that makes sense and wouldn’t be too metagamey or overly scripted or anything like that. I had a bunch of ideas thought out, then I just typed it out and sent it over to him, and then he interpreted it as such.” Liam had ideas, but Marisha wanted him to keep the details a surprise. The theme of “let’s start over” was the leading motif for the design. Three acts: pre-game cocktails at the Nestled Nook, picnic in a field of Xhorhasian wildflowers, and then close it with after-dinner drinks and hot tub at the Steam’s Respite. And the very last thing was “and all the cats were dogs”. Brian: “What was his response to that?” Marisha: “He texted me and was like, ‘Are you serious or is this dog thing a joke?’”

Ashley is asked what it was like to know it was coming but not know the specifics. “For both of us, I don’t think we thought it was going to be right then. I think because it’s been so long in the relationship between Beau and Yasha and it felt like such a natural progression for the two of them, and they’re both awkward together. I think there was something to just being thrown into it.” She spent time thinking about what things Yasha would talk to Beau about on a date. “We got to maybe one of them. It was just so fun! Exploring romance in D&D can be super weird, especially when you’re streaming. But it felt like that’s where our characters were going. There was that excitement of trying something that is out of my comfort zone, and I think so much of Marisha was part of that, as being the initiator as Beau, where I was like, okay, this is where it’s going it. Let’s do it, let’s see what happens!” She mentions how “fun and freeing” it is to trust your improv partner in something like this.

Marisha: “I just wanted Beau to be a fuckboi!” But she highlights that it’s hard to deny the deeper connections that come up in D&D scenarios. “They’ve been with each other through so much that it’s difficult to deny when those bonds start to happen.” She texted Liam in a panic before the game. “What do I wear? And he said, ‘In the game or in real life?’ Both!”

Marisha was expecting a Sam curveball at some point. “My/Beau’s reaction of ‘I love you!’ was pretty accurate. She does care! She’s not just a troll trying to ruin our shit.”

Marisha on Yasha liking dogs: “I clocked that shit when you bought a dog figurine.” She keeps notes about all the members of the party when they reveal things like that.

Ashley has started taking more detailed notes, partly to play catch-up for events she may have missed earlier. “Turns out, notes are very helpful and can help you in your RPing!”

Favorite parts? Marisha: “The fade-to-black moment at the very end, and I think it’s because Ashley’s eyes--maybe this is going to get weird--we had this moment where we were in the hot tub at the end, and I looked over and was like, ‘hey’, and you looked over and were like, ‘hey’, and I was just dead. I will never forget the look on Ashley’s face. There was just a pure moment.” Ashley: “That’s so funny, because I was going to talk about this one moment with Marisha. It’s just clicking into the scene and clicking into the moment.” Marisha talks about how the moments associated with the game have real, tangible emotional connections. Brian highlights that the emotional side of things is what you remember the most after the campaign is done.

Character thoughts on Kima? Marisha: “I was like, step on me! Please! Both of you! We’d be friends.” Ashley: “It’s also that nostalgia that feels so good at the table. These characters we know and love are still living and breathing and happy together and just kicking ass. For Yasha it was an amazing example of a relationship that works in this world, and something beautiful that these people who are different but are connecting. It was a lot of-- it was cool. I think Yasha’s a very big fan of Kima and Allura. When she gave over the sword, Travis texted me and was like, it’s the Holy Avenger. Looking it up and talking about it, it was like, holy mackerel, this sword is insane. But there’s going to have to be some conversations had to attune with the sword. But I like that Matt presented that challenge, that this isn’t necessarily in your class, but let’s do some RP and see what happens.”

Where’s Yasha at with the Stormlord right now? “I’m curious to explore that more, but knowing that the Stormlord was the first person to bring her back to her own will, of pulling her out of whatever was happening with Oban and the Laughing Hand for however long. It’s also weird to see the relationship that the clerics have, and I think Yasha’s still figuring out how to be her own person, but also... not serving somebody, but still trying to figure out that relationship with her god. But again, he saved her from a very, very dark place, and I think that’s something she values and holds on to.”

Cosplay of the Week: An amazing Essek! (Blushingvioletcosplay on Instagram)

How is Beau handling the Eyes? “All the theories! It’s hard for it to not feel like a ticking time bomb. I always have to try and separate my theories from Beau’s theories. That’s acting and shit. I, Marisha, am very interested if I can somehow utilize this to our advantage. Beau, also interested but simultaneously terrified that it might be a bad idea and I might just get further initiated. When it comes to Matt, you know there’s always something more lurking underneath all of this. As players it’s kind of our job to navigate that.”

How about Yasha? “I think it’s one of the things that didn’t really come up in the date, which is funny, because it’s something I was thinking about. Me as a player, that’s something I’m extremely stressed about. We don’t know what’s going to happen. We kind of got into it, but I think the fact that Lucien was listening, and the Eyes, I think it made me as a player as Yasha very nervous about interacting with Beau, because I don’t know what they’re picking up on. There’s so much we don’t know, and Lucien is so confusing, and the Eyes, and with Matt... we don’t know! It’s a point of extreme concern for Yasha, especially someone that she has feelings for and cares about, it’s an extra level of I don’t know what this means and I can’t lose this person, but I need to protect at all costs.”

What was it like for Beau to discover that Dairon and the Soul not only listened but took action? “That moment was so deeply powerful. Honestly, I was just as taken aback as Beau was. I never in both mine or Beau’s thought process did I think Matt would take action in that way, or that would ever be handled. And I think that’s what makes it so emotional. You condition yourself to think these things just happen, so much so that they permeate your D&D game. So rarely do abusers get held accountable for their actions. What was powerful about it was that he was, and other people cared. That alone was so emotionally impactful, and I was completely thrown by it. I feel like I had to walk away from that situation kind of unpacking those things. What does that say, what does that mean? Same thing for Beau, where the cycle of abuse has happened repeatedly to her with no repercussions to anyone who’s causing it. It’s why she’s always had a weird tenuous relationship with the Soul. It throws you into these layers of reconciliation and thought. I didn’t think this was going to be addressed. What does that say about society? So many different layers to peel back. It all speaks to so many real-life experiences that happen every damn day to so many people. There’s not many examples in media of abusers getting handled, and especially not in a way that’s not some sort of device to motivate somebody.” She highlights how rare it is that the abuser was handled without pulling the victim into the mess. I’m definitely not doing what she’s saying justice with my speed-typing.

How is Yasha feeling about solidifying her identity as a protector? “Putting together this character and starting to play as her, there was a part of me that wanted-- when I work on characters, you go through the list of questions you have as an actor, what’s your motivation and all that stuff. But I very much wanted to see if I could have a character that doesn’t necessarily know what their purpose is, because I feel like a lot of people feel that way. I think when we see movies or TV shows, there’s always a character who says, I know what my purpose is. I wanted to explore what it meant to not know what that is. I left that open with Yasha, and I didn’t want to set that for her, because I thought that was an interesting thing. I still like that idea, but in the conversation with Beau and knowing the date was coming up, there were a lot of internal conversations I was having of how is Yasha feeling in this moment. At the end of the day, I feel that’s a very solid purpose for Yasha in this moment, of all I can really provide is protection - and of course she can provide more than that. But now I’m just, yeah, I think protection for her is the best way she knows how to describe her purpose.” Brian: “And once we arrive there, the goal is to find a greater purpose, to be of service.” Ashley has tied in Yasha’s protectiveness with her grappling with loss.

Fan art of the week: A second amazing Essek! (by Saturday_sky)

Thoughts on the amulets: set-up or bad luck? Ashley: “I thought they were a set-up!” Marisha: “I think [Astrid’s] an opportunist. But I think it’d be much more convenient if anyone other than her killed Trent. To what end, I don’t know.” Ashley: “Me, personally, how I interpreted her crying in that alleyway, I felt like she was crying because of a betrayal. But I don’t know! I think she definitely cares for Caleb.” Marisha: “I also got betrayal tears. That felt like guilt-crying to me.” Brian: “I don’t like any of this.”

What prompted Beau going full assassin? “If they were to get in and out and I could have jumped over that tower without killing that guy, I would have.” She didn’t have a lot of options as a monk and not a rogue assassin, but needed a quick and quiet way to get him out of the way. “I went through so many ideas in my head. I thought of an idea to dump all of the ball bearings under him, then light fireworks” to try to get him to fall off the edge.

Is Yasha’s hope for Molly still alive? “Yes. I think that because Yasha has been on the other end of doing terrible things under someone else’s influence, she has a lot of forgiveness for people. At this point, of course, it’s hope that he’ll come back or have some type of recognition of his life as Molly. There’s a lot of questions. I don’t think she’ll ever give up on him.” The only moment of hesitation was when Lucien was cool with Gelidon leaving with Beau.

How are they feeling about their odds? Ashley: “I feel really great about the ideas that the group has to get out of tricky situations. This one I’m nervous about.” Marisha: “I agree. We have our little side player thread, minus Matt, and I don’t see how we’re getting out of this without some sort of compromise that’s not necessarily in our favor. I think we’re going to get out of it, but I don’t think we’re going to get out of it completely.”

Ashley didn’t tell Brian about the date after the episode ended, but wound up blurting it out right before he was about to watch the episode for Talks.

#long text post #critical role #critical role spoilers #talks machina #talks machina spoilers

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leejeongz · 4 years ago

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nsfw a-z YEONJUN (txt)

request: hiiii!! could you do a yeonjun a-z nsfw???- anon

🔅okay so i may have passed away while writing this 😀�� but it’s worth it tb to that one time i said he was the one idol id fuck given the opportunity hahahah no changes there🔅

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

he’s for sure a talker. and a cuddler. and very big on comfort items and shows. he’s basically perfect for anyone who wants attention afterwards rather than being left alone. he likes to talk about how well you both performed, what you liked if you tried something new, or what you think you’d like to try in the future. you never really talk about any negatives because he wants to focus on being positive, but will avoid things in future if he could infer that you didn’t like it. when you’re ready, you can go and cuddle up to him, he’s expecting you to and feels all warm and cosy when you do, but it’s no big deal if you don’t want to. he also likes stroking your hair or poking your cheek 🥺 he’s such a cutie after any scene, no matter how rough it was.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

we all know this man loves everything about himself but that being said, he particularly likes his size. not a physical body part i know, but he’s so big in every department, how can that not be something he loves?? he gets to manhandle you all he wants and gets to tease you with it too.

on you, his favourite body part is your lips. he loves his own lips, sure, but yours are just so full and pretty, especially when they’re kissing every inch of his body.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

he expects you to take his cum, wherever that may be. he wants it either in your mouth, in your pussy, or in your ass (no pressure to try anal though, just something he might want to try). even if he finishes on your stomach, or on your ass, or on your face, he’ll always find a way to get it inside you.

this guy loves fucking you in the ass in doggy, pulling out, and watch his cum drip out and down over your pussy.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

he wants to get pegged at least once in his life, but is afraid to bring it up, even around people he trusts, in case it “changes their perception of him”

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

he knows what he’s doing, he knows exactly what to do to make you feel good and is more than willing to teach you everything that he likes. he gets his experience might be a little intimidating, so he doesn’t brag about it, but it soon becomes apparent that he knows how to turn someone on and how to put everything into action.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

he enjoys every and all possible positions when he’s with you, but his favourite is having you pressed up against a wall, sometimes with one of your legs lifted, sometimes with both wrapped around him. he likes the intimacy of it, he can get real close to you and can kiss you without compromising any comfort. of course, as well, it’s an easy position for him to be dominant in. you have no way of escaping his gaze and he can literally do anything that he wants with you like this.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

sometimes, he’s really fkn cute while you guys are fucking. he’ll be playful and making sure that you’re comfortable and happy.

other times, he’s dead serious, telling you to do everything he wants you to do and degrading you to remind you of your place. (because you’ve been teasing him all day)

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

naturally, he doesn’t have much hair down there anyway so he just trims it. hair or no hair, he’s not that bothered really, but he just trims it so you can suck his dick easier.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

he likes to be very intimate, sometimes a little too intimate that it becomes oppressive, but it’s all just part of his dominating character. he will more than likely want to make you feel comfortable if you’re in a relationship, so will make the experience very intimate and sweet, even if it’s coming off a little too strongly.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

he doesn’t masturbate that often. why would you need to when you’re choi yeonjun, you can get anyone you want. the only time he will is when he’s away from his s/o for an unbearable amount of time, i’m talking months. he likes to sext, have phone sex or just use his imagination to get off to. there are definitely going to be videos and pictures taken that can be saved for later cos he’s proud of what he has and will send them to you upon your request.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

praise (receiving (+sometimes giving))- telling him how huge his cock is, or letting him know how good he fucks you really gets to his head. it makes him want to fuck you even better next time, just to receive more praise. he doesn’t really give you a chance to talk much during the scene itself, it’s mainly just him wanting a moan or a shy nod in response to his dirty talking, but he’ll want to know your thoughts afterwards so he can think about them next time. honestly, it’s more like he’s just praising himself and you have no other option than to just agree. he likes to tell you when you’re doing well too. when you’re taking his dick well and how pretty you look underneath him.

degrading (giving)- sometimes though, he just has to let you know that your his fuck toy, his cum slut if he’s feeling a little more generous. he often likes to remind you that gagging and crying while he face fucks you won’t make him stop, and that you should do what he says before you get in over your head.

breeding- out of all the places that he likes to cum, inside your pussy is his favourite. his pullout game is beyond great, but that doesn’t mean he’s going to pull out if you tell him it’s okay to cum inside you. he just likes to see it trickle out of you, especially if he’s just fucked you in public and he knows that you’ve gotta act all innocent even though his cum is dripping out.

exhibitionism- he would happily have sex on stage if that was allowed. he loves people watching, people getting jealous or turned on by what they see. he loves that your apartment has ceiling to floor windows because that’s a perfect place to make you suck his dick, or to fuck you in standing doggy. he’d never do it if you were clearly uncomfortable and would of course not aim to make any of the public uncomfortable, he’s not a weird lad dw lmao.

size kink- i feel like i’ve explained this under too many other letters and i don’t want it to become repetitive but he likes being the bigger one and he likes how big his dick is, so much so that he can and will show off about both of those things whenever he can.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

i did JUST mention this before but in front of those extra large windows in your apartment is his favourite place to show the world exactly what you two get up to. “show them how well you take my dick, babygirl” even just saying it makes him feel more turned on than ever before.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

it actually takes quite a bit of work from your end to turn yeonjun on. if he knows you’re already horny, he’s gonna make you work for his cock, he likes to tease you in that way to show just how much you want him, but your hunger alone is enough to get him going realistically. he is quite partial to a lap dance or a strip tease from you, the big smile on his face would tell you that, not to mention how much he’d be hyping your sexy self up.

he’s a sucker for you grinding on his lap too. even if you’re not making out, it still turns him on. he’s likes the fact that you feel him getting harder through his pants and that he can feel you getting wetter. also, as i said before, he has a thing for your lips. if you lightly graze them over his skin, especially his neck or torso, he’s gonna be all yours.

he sometimes gets turned on by watching you eat, the way your lips close around the food, which he knows you’re eating in a seductive way just to turn him on, he can’t take his eye off of them. but he’ll definitely do the same back to you, his lips have the same effect on you as yours do on him, so of course he’s going to tease you too (thinking about that one time he ate that grape-)

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

there’s not much he wouldn’t do, but he really really wouldn’t be into you degrading him when you take the lead.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

he likes to give and receive head equally, there isn’t one he prefers over the other. you give him head when he wants it, he gives you head when you want it. he does love fucking your face when he’s in one of THOSE really dominant moods, making you gag with every thrust. he claims it’s all for a good reason though, the extra saliva makes his dick fit inside you easier.

he can be known to rush eating you out though, honestly. he uses his tongue in quick up and down motions, smaller ones on your clit then changing to larger ones that cover the whole length, sometimes using his lips to cover the whole of the surface area down there. we all know he’s a freak so he’d eat ur ass no worries too. you don’t mind that he doesn’t spend long down there though, because he still gets the job done, if he lets you, you get cum on his tongue.

there’s a big difference in that you can give him head wherever you want, but he finds it difficult to eat you out when you're not on a bed or sofa that he can kneel in front of. so if you’re out in public, it’s less likely that you’ll be receiving, but any head you give will never go without him playing with you in return, it’s just not his mouth that’s on your pussy.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

he’s not that fast, cos he wants to make you feel every inch of him. he takes it slow, but still definitely quite rough.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

he loves a quickie every now and again. this is usually the result of incessant but very much welcome teasing from either of you (usually him). he takes you to the nearest clothes store and fucks you “quietly” in the changing rooms, the only traces of your act being your handprints on the mirror since he made you clean up every last bit of cum off of the floor with your tongue. he’s also a fan of club toilets, the music sets the pace for him while he’s drilling into you, one of the only times he fucks you hard and fast without teasing.

as i mentioned before though, he does love a little bit of head in public, and that’s more than enough to satisfy him if you don’t wanna have sex at that time but still wanna treat him to a little something.

the only time he’d ever refuse a quickie is in your own home. you have plans but you wanna have a quick fuck first? just cancel all the plans and let him treat you all night long bby.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

he will take calculated risks. he won’t do things on a whim, he likes to talk them through with you first, maybe even draw up some kind of fantasy of how it would play out in real life before actually putting it in action. if some of your kinks come with some risk, he wouldn’t mind, but he’d hate to think that you were feeling unsafe so he’d constantly check in, not really caring about ruining the mood.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

he can go as many rounds as you want him to most of the time, but usually settles for one considering he’d rather spend time with you cuddling than fucking (hot take ik). the whole scene would last around 30 minutes, he doesn’t last that long inside you honestly, but he spends most of his time teasing you with his fingers or getting his dick sucked.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

he doesn't like toys. he’s not so bothered about them when you’re using them and he’s with you, but he will get extremely jealous if you use them to masterbate with. you should have just asked him to fuck you.

he wouldn’t make a point of using them every time you had sex, it’s very rare that he will use dildos or vibrators on you. he does like handcuffs, whips etc but again, those only come out when he’s in a hard dom mood.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

he likes to be mean. in fact, he LOVES to be mean. he’ll often tease you about how tiny you are compared to him, and how big you make his already huge cock look. he also will not hesitate to wink at you with his tongue out in what’s seems to everyone else “a playful manner” but you know that it means that he wants you to ride his face when you pair get home.

he also loves to touch you, but not enough to get you off. he’s not gonna make it easy for you, despite how easy you make it for him. he would intentionally rub your clit slowly while you pair make out, and would alternate between rubbing your clit, rubbing lengths of your pussy and fingering you, knowing this combination would be enough to bring you close enough to cumming that he could stop doing it at any moment and you’d squirm at him since he didn’t quite finish you off.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

he’s quite whiney, but he also likes to talk a lot while fucking so all together, he’s very loud, and he’s be quite appreciative if you were too.

some of his favourite phrases are “it’s big, right? haha” “show me how well you can take this huge dick, baby” “you like it when i do this?” “why the tears? you think they’ll make me go soft? funny”

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

he likes when his bitch knows their place. he’d rather you didn’t act bratty all the time, instead accepted that you were his sub and that he was going to lead this whole deal. it turns him on a lot to know that you’re okay with him being like that, he can do whatever he wants with you (but don’t get me wrong he will ask for your consent with everything that he does).

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again, the biggest dick in kpop. i’m gonna go big here and say 7-8 inches in length at least, with a girth that’s a little over average.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

ideally, he’d like to fuck every other day. every day is too much, it takes away the spark and the magic and begins to feel like a chore.

he’s a busy man but knows how to manage his schedule to reflect his needs.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

he’s more hyper after sex, he needs like an hour to calm down. he loves to cuddle with you, have you fall asleep in his arms while watching a comfort show before falling asleep himself.

#smut #txt smut #yeonjun smut #yeonjun #txt #txt imagines #yeonjun imagines

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adaodinson · 4 years ago

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Little bird

Hi! So, it´s been a while since I posted a fic, I apologize for that. These past months have been… weird, to say the least, but now I´m back :)

I recently finished watching Daredevil and Punisher, so of course I have to write for Matt and Frank. I´ve had this idea stuck in my head for a while so here it is, I hope you guys like it. And yes, I recommend all the songs and artists that I mention in here.

Summary: An interest thing about you gets Matt´s attention enough to want to know more about you, but also to be nervous to actually do so.

Warnings: Nothing, I think, just mentions of pain but it´s muscular so… and well, English is not my first language, so sorry for any mistakes.

Relationship: Matt Murdock x gender neutral!reader

You knew moving into a new city (especially one like New York) would be tiring, you knew it would take a lot of mental and physical effort, but this was ridiculous. You had been trying to carry that stupid table upstairs and were halfway when you felt your back couldn´t take it anymore, the table wasn´t big or anything, but it was quite heavy. You had been carrying things inside all afternoon, so it made sense for you to be this tired. You had started off at a reasonable hour, when the sunlight invaded the windows and spread to all corners; now, the only source of light were the weak lightbulbs that hung from the ceiling, and it was getting harder and harder to focus on where to place your next step not only due to your aching legs and back, or the poor illumination, you also started to feel the rush of the other residents getting home from work.

You had only seen your neighbor twice: the day you arrived to take a look at the apartment before buying it, and the one time it took you a while to find your keys and open your door so you bumped into each other on the hallway. You knew his name was Matt, and he knew your name as well, he also knew where you came from, but that was about it. He seemed like a nice person, he was definitely handsome, but there was something about him that you couldn´t quite place your finger on that made him… intriguing.

You had only been living there for about a week, and had had no time to rest or even think for more than five minutes, but what you missed the most was taking your singing classes, or at least getting to seat down while playing games on your phone and sing along to your playlist. Singing was one of your passions, you weren´t amazing at it, but decent enough. You sang all the time: while cooking, while showering, while working, all the time. It made you happy, helped you relax, you just loved it.

As you carried your table through the final stair block, your mind drifted to the next song you would want to practice with your teacher (she was from the same place as you were, and you decided to keep taking classes with her through Skype or FaceTime). It could be “Without you” by Air Supply, ooor Wherever you go by Lola Lennox. You were so immersed in your thinking you didn´t realize you had stopped moving, or that Matt was standing beside you, waiting for you to keep walking.

He was between amused and confused, he could feel in your heartbeat you were happy but tired, he could sense you weren´t moving and also the fact that you were carrying something. He thought you might be resting a bit, but you were only three steps away from the top so that wasn´t it. He cleared his throat in order to make you aware of his presence, and that simple gesture took you out of your thoughts like a lightning, so suddenly that you almost fell on your back. Good thing you didn´t.

-Matt, hi! I´m sorry! I´m sorry! Wait a second- You said as you hurried to walk upstairs, leave the table in front of your door and go back to him. He giggled softly, it was the cutest sound you had ever heard.

-Again, I´m sorry, I got lost in my thoughts. Here, I left the table I was carrying in the hallway so let me help you get to your door- You said as you placed your arm near him for him to notice it and grab it. He did so.

-Thank you Y/N, and you don´t have to worry or apologize, we all get lost in thought sometimes- He said as you led him to his apartment avoiding your table.

-Yeah, I guess we do-.

You got to his door. He opened it, said goodnight kindly and walked inside. Normally you would have wanted him to stay outside with you and talk for a while, but it was not hard to see he was just as tired as you were. You headed inside your own apartment and settled the table in it´s place. You gazed around the room feeling proud that you had managed to put everything inside. For all the bigger things of course you had had help, but the rest were up to you.

You sighed and felt all your body parts urging you to drop to the floor and sleep, you could feel your arms and legs trembling and that familiar knot in your muscles after making such efforts. You headed straight for the bathroom, needing a shower more that anything. In the past few days, you had only showered for the sake of being clean, but not to actually enjoy it. You had to rush and hurry, but now, you took your time to choose the songs you wanted to listen to, humped in and sang your heart out.

The walls of the apartments were thick, so it was really hard to hear what was going on in other rooms, but for Matt this wasn´t a problem. He was reading in his couch when he heard a small hint of a familiar song: “Rock DJ” by Robbie Williams. He made an effort to hear it more clearly, and that´s when he reached it. He distinguished your voice singing along to the song. It wasn´t the best voice he had ever heard, or the most tuned, but it was his new favorite one, it definitely was beautiful. There was something about your passion, your heart being poured into each word you sang that filled his ears like the strong smell of a chocolate cake fills your nose. He couldn´t get enough of it. Even when you sang out of tune, when you ran out of breath, when you failed at singing a difficult note. Also when your breath was just enough, when you hit a hard note like a baseball player hits the ball. All the time, no matter what you were singing or how you were singing it, he found it impossible to focus on anything else.

It became his “ritual”. You had started taking your classes again, so when he learned the time and day you took them, he would try to get home in time to hear you. Queen, Air Supply, Pink, Erasure, Rick Astley, Måneskin and Adam Lambert were the artists and bands that you sang the most, and through you he had found new songs that he adored and re-found old songs that he considered golden. Many times he walked over to the door, ready to compliment your singing after you finished a class, but, what would he say? That your voice had become his favorite sound? How would he explain how he could hear you so clearly? He just couldn´t. Every time he felt ready, with the right words at the tip of his tongue and ready to escape, doubt filled his mind: What if you found him creepy? What if you don´t want to be complimented? What if he said something stupid?

Of course, thinking that you wouldn´t enjoy hearing compliments on your singing was a stupid thought on it´s own. You enjoyed singing so much, but you were quite insecure about it as well. It was really hard for you to sing in front of other people, especially for the first time, and every time anyone complimented your singing, not only did you remember that person forever, but also it always made your day. Oh, but hearing a compliment from Matt, that idea sounded so perfect it didn´t even cross your mind. The gorgeous, nice and mysterious guy from across the hall complimenting you… not even in your daydreams. But just like they say, there is a first time for everything.

Matt was so immersed in the conversation he was having with Foggy, he didn´t stop to hear your heartbeat, to know if you were home. You were.

-I´m telling you, Foggy. It´s just magnificent, the passion and heart they pour into their singing, it´s beautiful. And now I know their class is at 8 every Wednesday, so when I get to be at home at that time it just makes the rest of my week- Foggy had rarely seen his friend this passionate about something, and he was really happy for him, but he wondered why he didn´t try to get to know you. If he wanted to find a good reason for him to hear your singing with you knowing he was, why didn´t he just become friends with you? All his questions were answered when you opened your door with the brightest smile Foggy had seen in a long time.

-Do you really think that, Matt?- you asked almost shyly. Matt froze for a second and then turned around slowly to face you. After seeing that tiny interaction, it was more than clear to Foggy that his friend wasn´t only interested in your voice, he was interested in you.

-Well, yeah, I mean, it´s always very pleasant to hear you- he said with a shy smile.

You were so happy you didn´t even stop to think before embracing the man in a tight hug. You could feel tears ready to exit your eyes and fill your cheeks, but you held them back. He hesitated before returning the hug. You both felt as if your missing puzzle piece was being taken away from you when you parted.

-You have no idea how much it means for me to hear that, especially from you- you couldn´t control that last part.

-Well, hi. I´m Foggy, and I was just leaving- Foggy said happily as he turned around ready to leave.

-No wait! I´m sorry, I´m Y/N. You don´t have to go, I just…-

-Nice to meet you Y/N! And don´t you worry, I´ll get to talk to Matt tomorrow at work, tonight you two should go out for dinner- Foggy answered with a smirk.

-Did you just ask them out FOR me?- Matt said, trying to sound offended.

-Well, someone had to do it- he said with a wink and left.

-Mmmm, I heard about a great Chinese place a few blocks away, if you are up for what your friend proposed- You said trying to measure Matt´s reaction.

-I love Chinese, let´s go, little bird- Matt said as he extended his arm for you to grab. Both of you with the biggest smiles either of you had had for a while, including the one you had when you heard his compliments. Oh, and the smiles would go on with you two, that´s for sure.

#matt murdock #foggy nelson #matt murdock x reader #matt murdock x you #matt murdock x y/n #matt murdock x gn reader #daredevil #daredevil imagine #daredevil x reader #daredevil x you #mcu #marvel shows

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anonquack · 4 years ago

Text

| History |

Alex Quackity x Reader, Oneshot!

Word Count: 5047

Warnings: None! Just some curse words.

Summary: Breakups hurt. Confrontations hurt. Separation hurts. But when it feels like all is ending, you and Alex always find a way to make things work. [Angst -> Fluff]

After a loud plop of a box against the floor, you brought your hand up to wipe away the sweat that was now resting on your forehead. Yuck.

In an effort to avoid letting your thoughts take over and throw you into a spiral of regret and sadness, you had been cleaning and reorganizing your room. You took this moment to look around, eyes scouting every inch of the room in search for something you could've possibly missed.

The room looked almost spotless at this point. The box you had just plopped down onto the floor contained a lot of the stuff you planned on throwing away. Everything else had been dusted, thoroughly cleaned and placed back where it belonged. Looking at your organized, comfy, bed made you realize just how tired you felt at this very moment.

But there was no time to rest. Rest meant time to think about what had happened. Time to think about what had been lost.

You let out a small sigh as you walked over to the untouched part of your room; the closet. This part didn't necessarily have to be organized, since no one would come into the room and specifically open up the closet. But at this very moment, your brain was telling you to clean EVERYTHING in this room.

As soon as you opened the door to the closet, your eyes landed on an item you did not want to see right now. As your eyes continued to roam across all the clothes on the hangers, it started to dawn on you that this might've been a bad idea. Maybe cleaning closets really wasn't necessary.

There were multiple of Alex's hoodies on the hangers, all looking as comfy and cozy as ever, but at this moment they didn't bring that comfort and happiness they usually would. Rather, they brought back all those painful thoughts you'd been trying to avoid.

You gently bit at your lip, slightly frustrated since you'd been 'doing well', cleaning and trying your hardest not to let your thoughts roam.

Your stubbornness to not rest and keep cleaning had been your own demise.

You weren't really sure what to do. Part of you wanted to take one of the hoodies off its hanger, put it on, and crawl into bed. The rational part of you knew you should probably return these to him. You had no business having these in your room anymore.

That thought alone made your stomach twist and turn. It really was over. These past few days had felt like an absolute nightmare, but at the end of the day it was reality. You and Alex had actually broken up. It was all history now.

You reached into the closet, grabbing all the hoodies and placing them onto the chair near your bed. They were a problem for another time. The closet was going to be your distraction for now. You'd avoid facing reality for just a little longer as you organized the shirts and sweaters in your closet.

—

It sucked. Not having anything to do, having nothing to serve as a distraction from the fact that Alex would no longer be a part of your life. You were now sitting on your bed, playing with the strings on the hoodie, remembering how these looked on him.

They fit him so well, some fit loosely against his figure, others fit just right, showing off his toned figure. You vividly remembered how the material of the hoodie had felt whenever he wrapped his arms around you, whenever you would hug him and just snuggle your face close to him, looking for a source of heat.

The memories of how you acquired these hoodies also came flooding back. Some had been him noticing it was cold out and you lacking common sense to bring a sweater to keep yourself warm. Him pulling off the hoodie and handing it to you, the way his cheeks turned red as you thanked him, his eyes narrowing and telling you it wasn't that big of a deal.

Other times you'd directly ask to borrow his hoodie. One that smelled like him just in case he couldn't visit or hang out in the near future and you were in dying need of his affection.

You wondered whether these hoodies might still smell like him. As weird as it might've looked, you were now on your bed, bringing the hoodies up to your face and holding it close, snuggling your ex's damn hoodie to see if it still smelled like him. It was so fucking stupid. It was over.

You set the hoodie down as you felt your eyes water. Not because of sadness, but irritation towards yourself. You'd already spent days crying your eyes out over the breakup, and yet here you were again. There had been progress made already, and now it felt like you were back in square one just because of some fucking hoodies. Cloth.

You gently pinched the bridge of your nose as you took a moment to recollect your thoughts. You'd return the hoodies, and be done with him once and for all.

Picking up your phone and pressing onto his contact, your message history flashed onto the screen. Old messages were spilling all over, making a mess of you all over again. Not what you wanted at all. You'd wanted to delete his contact number and erase the messages, but hadn't been able to bring yourself to do it.

And now, once again, you were dealing with the consequences of being unable to let go. You tried to ignore the old conversations that were on display, instead pulling up the keyboard and typing up a civil message to send.

y/n found some of your hoodies at my place. mind if i give them back?

You felt an uncomfortable feeling settle in your stomach as you waited for the message to deliver, waited for any sign that he might've read it. Waited to see if he would even answer. Maybe he didn't want them back. Maybe part of you hoped you'd at least get to keep something of his, something that made your relationship with him feel real. Made it feel like it indeed happened and wasn't just a part of your imagination. Part of you didn't want it to officially come to an end.

Giving away the last thing of his you had meant officially putting an end to this. Whatever the fuck you had with him. You hadn't even noticed you were biting at your nails until the loud ding brought you back into present time.

alex sounds good. where would you want to meet?

It was starting to feel real. The split was at hand's length away. Meeting him to hand the hoodies over solidified the end.

y/n maybe the library? its near both of our dorms.

alex alright. see you in 20?

y/n yea.

Such simple discourse was already eating at you. This wasn't him. But that was to be expected. You weren't his anymore and he wasn't yours. Nothing would ever be how it was.

Even with that realization, you still looked at yourself in the mirror, checking to see if there was any signs that you'd been crying, or just you looking like shit overall. A few glances and strokes to the hair and you were ready to go, the small stack of hoodies resting on your arm as you walked out of your dorm room. To officially end things.

—

As you walked towards the library, you noticed it was rather quiet. Nobody was out and about at this time, it was peaceful. It gave you a moment to really reflect on all that had taken place. What had lead to you being here, on your way to officially cut all ties with Alex.

It had been a misunderstanding, really. Something that was going to happen eventually. Being college students with different majors and goals was challenging enough. But balancing the giant workloads and quality time with your partner had proven to be difficult for him, and perhaps even you too. There was effort being made in the beginning, but recently it had just not been the same. Perhaps things change, feelings change, but it didn't change the fact that it hurt.

After a few confrontations and harsh arguments, he had stated that he didn't want to be in a relationship if it meant that attention was required of him this often. He admitted it felt like a chore recently, having all his school work and also having you to deal with, especially when you got confrontational.

It had been heartbreaking hearing him say that you were the reason for his recent headaches and that he no longer was enjoying the aspect of a relationship. He wanted space, he wanted to have a moment where he could do absolutely nothing. Not have to worry about another individual's feelings. It was valid, and you had agreed that it would be best if you two just broke up. Clearly if you two weren't going to be happy, it was better to just end it.

You really couldn't blame or hate him. He was studying law, and you could only imagine how stressful and difficult it must be. And to have to worry about a relationship on top of that must've been hellish.

You couldn't shake off the memories though, all the great parts of your relationship. You struggled too. You had homework too, but he was the highlight of your college experience.

Even if you were drowning in homework, you knew you could waltz into Alex's dorm and just cuddle with him for a bit. You knew he would walk into your room any second of the day just to declare you two were going to take a break from studying to go eat at this place he'd found near the university. He was the light that shined brightly and took you out of the holes you dug yourself into when you worked too hard and barely had time to take care of yourself.

You thought you had the same effects on him, but instead you were draining him of energy. The hangouts and time spent wasn't a nice break for him, it was a chore. It was something he felt obligated to do.

You shook the thoughts away as you noticed the library getting closer and closer. Once you got there, you walked in and headed to where you knew he might be waiting, or where he'd know to go if you were the first to arrive.

Fortunately for you, he still wasn't here, so you simply took a seat and looked around the library. You could feel the guilt settling in your stomach. Perhaps this felt like a chore as well, having to come all the way out here to meet with you, just to get some hoodies you could've dropped off at his dorm. 0 interaction needed.

The small bell rang, notifying everyone inside that the front door had been opened. This was it. He was here. You held your breath as you waited to see Alex, if it even was him who had just gotten here.

Surely, it was. He was wearing these black sweatpants, a white baggy shirt, and his beanie that neatly tucked away the strands of hair that would usually hide his facial features. He looked good, to say the least.

You watched as his eyes scanned the room, looking for you. Once his eyes finally met yours, you felt your breath hitch in anticipation as his brown eyes finally met yours for the first time in about a week or two. It was so nice seeing him again, it felt right, but this was most likely your last time meeting with him.

You watched as he walked over to you, a small, polite smile on your lips as he came closer and closer. Once he was finally standing in front of you, a small, "Hi-" slipped out, which you instantly regretted. It sounded so pathetic.

"Hi." He replied calmly as he took the seat across from where you had been sitting.

He actually sat down. This meant he was planning on sticking around for a bit, right? If he wanted to leave right away, he would've stood, extended his hand out to show that he wanted you to hand him the hoodies. But here he was now, sitting in the chair across from you.

Usually when you two came to the library, he was seated beside you, arm wrapped around your waist as you two scanned a textbook of a shared electives class or both did your own studying. It was always so peaceful and actually allowed you to focus on what you were studying. His presence was so good for you, but it was recently made clear the feeling wasn't mutual.

Right.

You cleared your throat, not ready to hand over the hoodies just yet. "How have you been..?" You asked, trying to maintain a calm tone.

It might've been stupid to try and make conversation with him, but you were hanging on by a thread. You'd risk it, push your luck until the thread snapped and disintegrated in your own hands.

"I've been.. alright. You?" He hesitated to answer, and was currently avoiding eye contact, staring down at the table and then your hands that were placed on top of the hoodie stack.

"I've been okay. Big change to get used to." You admitted, a small chuckle escaping your lips. It was not a laughing matter at all, but you couldn't help it, especially since you were feeling rather nervous.

"It is a big change." He admitted as well, finally looking up to meet your gaze. The eye contact broke your heart. Usually looking into his brown eyes would heal any and every scar that may appear on your heart, patch up anything that may be breaking, but now it was these brown eyes that were killing you and breaking you apart.

It was now your turn to look away, settling your gaze on the strings of the hoodie, hands playing with them absent-mindedly.

The soft fabric against your finger tips reminded you why you were here in the first place, making you finally look up at him again. You were surprised to see that his gaze was already on you. Although your eyes widened slightly, you quickly brought them back to normal and cleared your throat, pushing the hoodies forward and towards him.

"Found these in my closet and figured you might want them back. They've been washed." You clarified towards the end as you watched him take hold of them.

And that's when it was official. They were now under his possession again, not yours. The hoodies were no longer yours, he was not yours. You could feel the lump forming in your throat at the thought, and figured it wasn't a good idea to be at this library for even a second longer.

You watched as he looked down at the hoodie stack that he was now holding. It seemed like there was something he wanted to say, yet was clearly holding back. It was a horrible sight to see. You knew you'd be thinking about this gaze, the words his eyes screamed, the words he failed to verbally say now. It would eat at you during late nights in the near future.

—

Now that the hoodies were in his hands, he realized just how real the breakup was. He hadn't been doing too well himself, beating himself up for reacting that way, for lashing out on you that way. For saying things he hadn't meant, and had only said because he was stressed out and in serious need of space. That was all it was.

And now here he was, sat in front of his ex, receiving the hoodies he had gladly gave them. He remembered when he handed each of these, what the occasion was and how cute you'd looked once you'd put it on. The pride that had filled his chest at the sight of you in his hoodie. How lovesick he'd felt whenever you came to his dorm with his hoodie on, when you wore it out in public and let everyone know that you were indeed taken. By Alex himself.

And now here he was. You couldn't even look at him for a few seconds without having to tear your eyes away. He wondered if you had cried just as much as he had, if you had blamed yourself or called yourself clingy, annoying, the worst of the worst because of the horrible things he had said to you. All things which he greatly regrets now.

When he had walked into the library, he'd spotted you almost instantly, sat at the table where you two would usually study, looking as cozy as ever. If he hadn't fucked up so badly, he would've walked over, wrapped his arms around you and left the softest kiss on your lips, maybe one on your jaw as well as he mumbled "hi baby," against your skin. The laugh that might've escaped your lips at his words and actions, the fact that he can't experience that anymore because he fucked up. It was killing him.

He knew that any second now, you'd stand up and walk out of his life permanently, and there'd be nothing for him to do about it. He'd already caused enough damage with the bullshit he had spewed just a week ago. He couldn't ask anything of you. Not a second chance, not a moment of your time so he could explain that he didn't want to lose you. That he had just been stressed and taken it out on you, tried to blame it all on one person rather than just taking a step back and thinking things through. Admit that he had fucked up. It would be extremely selfish of him to fuck up in the way that he did and then ask for you to forgive him. He just couldn't do it.

He wondered if you could tell how awful he'd been doing. Was it obvious that he hadn't slept? Too busy replaying the scene where he had broken your heart over and over again as he lay in bed, avoiding any and all responsibilities. When you'd reached out to him, he had been laying in bed, quickly getting out and trying to look as composed and not like he'd been feeling like absolute shit this whole past week.

But now he was sitting across from you and the hoodies were in his hands. The exchange had been successful and there was now no business for you to be here. Any second now, you'd stand up and leave him here. For real this time. He wouldn't get to see the way you smiled with your eyes, wouldn't be able to hear nor cause your wonderful laugh. Wouldn't be able to hold you close whenever he pleased, wouldn't be able to kiss you as many times as he wanted. Wouldn't be able to whisper secrets to you as you two lay in bed at 3 in the morning.

No. He had lost those privileges a week ago, as soon as those horrible words left his mouth.

The sound of you clearing your throat brought him back to his senses, along with the sound of the chair scraping against the floor. He quickly looked up, catching the words that were slipping past your lips.

"Well, now that you have your hoodies, I should probably head back to my dorm now." You said softly, an awkward smile on your lips. It was clear you weren't necessarily sure how to say goodbye. He wasn't either.

His thoughts were racing at a million miles per hour in his poor brain, your moves were almost in slow motion in front of him as he panicked and tried to figure out what to do for you to stay.

No matter how many times he had lied to himself and told himself that he would be fine with you finally walking out of his life, it was exactly that. A lie. He wasn't ready. He wouldn't ever be ready to lose such a wonderful person that had walked in and changed his life for the better. Not at least without explaining himself. Asking for a second chance, as selfish as that might've been.

As he stood to his feet, the loud scraping of the chair against the floor caught everyone around you two off guard, especially you as you almost bumped into his chest as he suddenly blocked the path with his body.

"Y/N." He said, almost breathless. Your eyes were wide in confusion at the new barricade that stood between you and the door.

"I-I'm sorry." He finally said. Even if it was just two words, he already felt much better. He wanted you to know, to know that he was indeed sorry for ever saying such horrible things to you.

The shock in your face was evident, your mouth opening and closing slightly, truly at a loss for words. He took this as a sign to continue.

"I'm sorry for the things I said to you that day. They really weren't true. I was just– so stressed and I needed to take that out on someone. And you questioning me and asking why I'd grown distant just pushed me over the edge and I snapped at you. But I didn't mean a single word I said. I love you so much, Y/N. I couldn't fucking live with myself this past week, it's been eating me alive, the fact that I said those horrible things to you. You that could never do harm, you that has helped me so much throughout the years I've known you, whether it be as a friend or as my lover." He paused, it was so clear he was suffering from a severe case of word vomit, and people were staring now.

Your eyes had softened slightly as you listened to his word vomit, but you were cautious, it was evident to him. Your stance said it all. You looked around for a bit before letting out a small sigh.

"Not here, Alex. This is a library. Why don't we go talk somewhere else?" You offered softly, gaze way softer now, almost as if you were being cautious of the state he was currently in, scared he'd fall apart any second now. He silently nodded, leading the way out of the library with you quietly following behind him.

—

Your heart was beating rapidly against your ribcage, unable to truly process what the hell had just happened. Was that real? Did it really happen? Or was this a cruel joke, and soon you'd wake up on your bed, clutching one of his hoodies tightly to your chest.

You were walking behind him as he lead the way out of the library. You replayed the words in your head, unable to grasp that he had actually apologized.

You had gotten up to leave, saying your final goodbyes to him, and that was what lead him to crack. He had stood up quickly to block your path, and had began to spill his apologies, explaining how he's been a mess and feels horrible about the things he had said. He hadn't meant it. You weren't a bother. The relationship wasn't a chore. He perhaps still wanted you.

You had mixed feelings about all of this, especially considering the pain he'd put you through this entire week. But you also were obviously not ready to throw away a relationship that had lasted this long, and that had been going so well up until last week, when he presumably accidentally took it all out on you.

You were brought back to reality as he stopped walking and turned to look at you. He had lead you two to a coffee shop, one that you two frequently visited. Not for the coffee, but for the pastries and other drinks they sold, all quite delicious and a perfect breakfast for when you both were running late.

You looked at him as he opened the door for you to walk in. As you walked in, you were immediately hit with the smell of the freshly baked pastries. He then asked if you could sit while he ordered.

It didn't take long before he was back, with the usual orders you both got from here. It was touching, and probably an effort from him to patch things up. You thanked him for the drink and delicious smelling pastry before taking a small sip, awkwardly seated as you waited for him to speak again, attempt to explain himself further.

When he realized you were just waiting on him now, he cleared his throat. "Y/N, I'm really sorry. I hope I didn't make a scene or anything at the library. It was just, kind of a desperate last minute attempt to fix things between us."

Us. Us. It left a savory taste on your tongue. It felt right. Yes, Alex, us. You and I. That's how it's supposed to be.

You shook your head, "Nono. It's not that. It just- caught me off guard obviously, and well, I didn't want you to get in trouble for speaking a bit loudly, at the library."

He smiled, a small chuckle leaving his lips at the slight teasing tone at the end of your sentence. God, you had missed his laugh so much over the past week. It always managed to cheer you up no matter how bad things were.

"So uh, I'm sorry once again, Y/N. I know what I did was shitty, I've been beating myself up for it this entire past week. And even if you don't accept this apology and you want nothing to do with me after this, I just need you to know that I could never ever mean the things I said. You mean so much to me, and I just- I fucked up big time. You're not a chore at all. In fact, you make my life better, but it just took me so long to realize just how much you've positively changed my life. I'm so sorry for being distant. It's school, I promise. It's not because I don't love you anymore or anything. It's impossible for me to not love you, I hope you know that–" He paused to take a moment to breathe. He had just dumped all of this information onto them again. But he was just so scared that you'd up and leave any second now. He had to let it all out before it even came down to that.

"It- it was a bit of an overload, regarding information." You said once you realized he was waiting for a response. "It might take me a while to think about this. I mean, what you said really hurt me, Alex." You confessed, watching as his expression saddened, it was obvious he regret it. Everything he had said. "Don't get me wrong, I still love you, so so so much. Words cannot explain." You said, hand shyly reaching out to grab his. He responded almost instantly, fingers interlacing with your own. His hands were warm, against your own. You'd missed his warmth so much, and finally having it, even if just for a few seconds was sending you over the moon.

His grip on your hand was tight, but not tight where it hurt. It was tight, as if he was trying to prove to himself that you were real, that you were really insinuating that you'd give him a second chance. And honestly? Of course you would. This man meant the absolute world to you. And you understood where he was coming from, why he'd done what he did. It didn't take away the fact that it hurt, but you understood him, and would forgive him, eventually.

"I love you too." He said softly, gaze meeting yours as he smiled softly. "Take as much time as you need. I really am sorry, I'll never stop being sorry for the horrible shit I said. But no matter the outcome, I'll accept it."

His words meant the world to you. Even if you knew you'd accept his apology soon, it still meant so much that he just wanted you to know he meant what he was saying, even if you decided to leave forever.

"Thank you, Alex." You said with a small smile, giving his hand a gentle squeeze, trying to tell yourself as well that this was real. You felt him squeeze your hand back gently as well, and smiled slightly bigger at the memory that he did this whenever he wanted to reassure you about something. You really did love this man.

The day had started off with attempts to forget the very man you were currently holding hands with, attempting to get rid of every trace he had in your life in attempts to heal, attempts to move on. But he had stopped it all. He had apologized, admitted to the horrible week he's had, admitted to his faults, and was willing to accept if you no longer wanted him in your life.

But how could you ever wish that in regards to Alex? The one that brought sunshine into your life, the one that made everything better just by being himself.

Things were going to get better from here on out. Alex apologizing and stopping either of you from leaving each other's lives was a clear sign of that. From now on, you wouldn't allow such atrocities to take place either. You two would work on this.

As you stared at Alex who sat across from you, you couldn't help but smile at the possibility of having him back. Having everything go back to normal. It was clear he was thinking the same, as he gave your hand a gentle squeeze and smiled at you so brightly, almost bright enough to leave you sunburnt. Alex was sticking around, and so were you.

Maybe you wouldn't have to give the hoodies back after all.

#alex quackity #quackity #quackity x you #quackity x reader #quackity x y/n #gender neutral reader #quackity brainrot #quackity scenario #help pls #streamer #quackity headcannons #quackity imagines #breakup #but fluffy

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knight-a3 · 4 years ago

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So here's more designs for my TMNT AU. I wanted to involve their families a little more, give more room for character arcs.

The O'Neil family April, 16 yrs: She is into science(biology, zoology, and chemistry but hasn't picked her favorite yet). She's a bit reclusive and doesn't have many friends. But she meets and befriends the turtles after the Kraang abduct her father. She becomes closest with Donnie due to shared interests. She begins to develop mysterious psychic abilities and Splinter teaches her to keep it under control through meditation. She mostly has to teach herself how to use it though.

June, 21 yrs: April's older sister. She's a journalist and reporter. She likes to be very hands on in her investigations and can be reckless. She's also dating Casey's older brother, CJ. April worries that June will expose the turtles if she discovers them, but it's also difficult to keep it secret.

Robyn. April and June's mother. She owned an antique shop before she recently passed away from cancer(which she developed as a side effect of Kraang experimentation she had suffered as a child). June has taken over the shop since then.

Augustus "Augie" Kirby O'Neil, late 40s: He's a prominent biologist with a focus in genetics. He is especially interested in studying cancer treatments. The Kraang abduct him because they want to mutate earth to be more habitable for them, but are struggling with it. They're hoping that forcing a biologist to help will improve their efforts.

The Jones family

Casey Drake, 17 yrs: He likes sports(mostly hockey and baseball), and wants to live up to the reputation of his older brother, CJ. CJ was the team's star hockey player. But Casey's not really a good team player though, so he got cut from the team. Baseball suited him a little better(He's a pretty solid pitcher and batter, not good on outfield or bases cuz he hates passing the ball for someone else to get the glory). He looks up to his policeman dad, so he took up vigilantism secretly so he could fight crime too. Neither his brother or his dad would approve if they knew he was doing it.

Irma, 15 yrs: Casey's younger sister. She's into environmental sciences and is an activist. She wouldn't hesitate to put herself in harms way if it meant protecting nature. Casey thinks she's weird, and the feeling is mutual.

"CJ" Cody Joshua, 22 yrs: Casey's older brother. He works as a mechanic. In high school, he was the star player of the hockey team. After his parents' divorce when he was 12, he got into trouble a lot. He eventually shaped up after getting on the bad side of a gang and his dad had to intervene to save him. He's dating April's sister, June.

"KC" Kevin Christopher, late 40s: Their dad. He's an overworked cop who is barely ever home. He really does care about his family, but he has to pay the bills somehow. The divorce didn't help at all. CJ had to pick up a lot of the work in "parenting" the younger kids.

Evelyn: She got tired of being the only one home to take care of the kids. So she left (Irma was 5, Casey was 7, and CJ was 12). She mostly just contacts them on birthdays. CJ and Casey both dread the birthday calls. They're both bitter that she left, although CJ is more hostile towards her than Casey is. Irma is more indifferent, but makes no attempt to connect with Evelyn.

Fun facts:

April: I put more emphasis in her scientific interests so she could relate with Donnie and make the relationship 2k12 attempted less awkward. In Mirage and 03 she was a computer programmer and briefly Baxter Stockman's assistant. I had her go into a different science field so she couldn't really fill Donnie's role on the team, but still help relieve some of the pressure he always seems to be under. Since Psychic abilities is 2k12's unique feature, I want to focus more on developing that rather than ninja fighting skills.

June: Designed to look similar to 03 April, but given blonde hair to reference some 2k12 concept art. April has a sister named Robyn in some versions of canon. But her name was originally going to be June, and I liked the month theming. June is a reporter/journalist to reference the 80s show. The mentioned antique shop was April's in 03.

Mr and Mrs O'Neil: In 2003, Augie is the name of April's uncle, but I gave it to Mr for the month theme and pushed Kirby to his middle name. I named Mrs Robyn to still make use of that name. I gave Mrs and hairstyle similar to 80s April. I couldn't justify a yellow jumpsuit, so I gave her a button up shirt instead.

Casey's middle name references the show Drake and Josh(which ties into CJs set of facts). His red over white shirt is reminiscent of 2007 Casey, although 03 Casey wore it in later seasons too.

Irma: I liked the design of Irma in 2k12 and thought it was a shame that they made her just a Kraang-bot. The show also mentions that Casey has a sister, but we never see her. So rather than fill that spot with an OC, I used Irma.

CJ is modeled after the 2003 version of Casey. CJ's middle name references 2012 voice actor Josh Peck(who also starred in Drake and Josh).

KC's middle name references 2007 voice actor Chris Evans. KC's first name is a reference to Kevin from Ben 10, since he looks similar to Casey(both 2k12 and 03 depending on age). KC is a Cop to reference Bayverse Casey. KC being an overworked cop was based off my friend's dad, who I still have no idea when he would sleep.

I included Evelyn mostly for working out where each kid got traits. She's not very significant otherwise.

#tmnt #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt au #fanart #a3 art

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elganac · 3 years ago

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——— BASICS !

· (PEN)NAME: borbie, borb, birdie

· PRONOUNS: she/her or they/them!

· ZODIAC SIGN: virgo

· TAKEN OR SINGLE: single

——— THREE FACTS !

i’m currently trying to be a content creator off tumblr ( tuber of the v variety! )

i’ve been playing candy crush almost everyday for the past like two months

i’ve been on tumblr since uhhh 2013, maybe even 2012???

——— EXPERIENCE !

· PLATFORMS USED: mainly tumblr, though i originally started off via text messages and kik! i’ve also rp’d on discord, but it’s difficult for me to keep track of and maintain muse for those threads since the back and forth is too fast for me. ofc there was also the skype period

——— MUSE PREFERENCE !

· GENDER: kind of 50/50 really?? i have more male muses than female but i think that just kinda happened. i think i prefer female muses in a way though!

· LEAST FAVOURITE FACE(S): idk what this question actually means but uhhh i guess i dont really lean towards like, “scary” or “aggressive” looking face claims? my muses tend to be on the cutesy or mischievous side, like even nate who is the more serious of the selection is really just a big shit poster, so while he has like aggressive tendencies he’s not really an aggressive face. does this even make sense lmao????

· MULTI OR SINGLE: putting all of my muses onto one blog has been the best move to maintain my sanity

——— FLUFF / ANGST / SMUT ! ♡

· FLUFF: i crave fluff sometimes, i really do. sometimes it’s very repetitive and redundant but honestly sometimes i could just rp the same concept over and over again with different rp partners so see different reactions and the nuances in relationships. like sharing a bath — it’s not a new concept on my blog or my muses’ relationships, but i will always love writing about muses wanting to share a bath together or like sharing a bed together, stuff like that.

especially when it comes to muses like alison and emile who are hopeless romantics and just thrive off of being in love and being cared for — it really is so fcking cute to write fluff when it fuels a close bond

· ANGST: i honestly haven’t written angst in so long, but i def do enjoy it for the sake of character development and exploring dynamics. i’m not really a fan of angst for the sake of angst anymore since it gets really tiring to just make a muse suffer just because especially when it’s like the most outrageous of circumstances, but if there’s actually a direction and a reason to the angst, i really enjoy it. especially if there’s a lot of room for plotting between me and my rp partner

· SMUT: mindless smut sometimes is good in the sense it’s self-indulgent for me, but if it’s overdone, i do get burnt out really quickly. i usually reserve smut for closer rp partners or more established ships, but sometimes i’ll open it up to flings to explore new relationships and situations with muses. but tbh, one of my fave kind of smut is the kind that allows for a lot of exploration of a muse’s sexuality. not just who they’re attracted to but also just like, them learning how to manage and cope with sexual desire, sexual activities, and sexual exploration overall. i especially love this with alison because her perspective is skewed as a result of some trauma, so i always enjoy letting her explore her sexuality with other muses.

· PLOT / MEMES: i absolutely love plotting. i love plotting so much, like it honestly gives me so much joy to yell at people on discord about our muses and just take an idea and spin it into something so much bigger. i like memes too, but i feel like sometimes i get anxious from them just sitting in my inbox even tho there’s technically no rush or obligation to even answer the memes. it��s a weird thing, but memes are def a good way to break the ice sometimes. i wish i was able to send more memes out to people, but it’s hard to find time to sit down and scroll through the memes to find a good one to send to people :pensive:

tagged by: @madamhatter ( weeps this was from ages ago!!!! )

#games;#ooc;

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zuzuslastbraincell · 4 years ago

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mai & the rest of the gaang:

mai & aang: a bit awkward, at first? not on aang's end of course, he's totally unflustered and in fact quite keen to get to know zuko's girlfriend and I actually think mai doesn't know what to do with this attitude, given she spent six months or so trying to hunt him down, and that's very present in her mind. hanging out with aang is a very pleasant culture shock in how he casually diaregards half the norms she was raised to strictly follow, speaking with warm enthusiasm and genuine curiosity to all, be they dish washers or tea servers or the Fire Lord's girlfriend, disregarding barriers of social class that are so carefully upheld in the Fire Nation. It's refreshing as it is bewildering. I think mai does develop a fondness for aang - although she can find him and his antics a bit much at times - and deeply respects and cares for him if only for how valued his friendship with zuko is. she claims to tolerate his goofy antics but she enjoys them far more than she lets on (his flying marble trick does elicit a rare smile, although it only appears for 0.02 seconds before returning to the most deadpan expression). I think mai respects him most politically actually - aang grows up to be an excellent diplomat, an excellent mediator who does not lose sight of the importance of various different perspectives, especially those who are forgotten or maligned, even when in circles of power.

mai & sokka: as discussed, they have a rocky start. sokka, my darling beloved sokka, has a tendency to be a bit abrasive, if we're honest, in that his humour and his puns are a little in-your-face, he has a bit of an ego aboht being the funniest/smartest person in the room, and he can take it personally when people don't like it. mai doesn't have much time for that. mai doesn't care much for sokka's jokes if only because they're attached to this ego, but also and finds the puns a bit flat (whereas she finds aang's mischief making genuinely funny, though she tries to hide it), and sokka takes this deeply personally and tries really hard to elicit a laugh from her. this just ends up with him aggravating her more. I think mai has little time for sensitive male ego games and that's partially why her and sokka clash- she won't blunt herself for him, even if he is one of zuko's closest friends. I think sokka, to his credit, doesn't dismiss her as a 'bitch' and keeps trying - in fact, the reason he comes on so strong is because he actually really wants her to like her - and i think that's because of boiling rock, and because of that alone sokka deeply respects mai on many levels (and was extremely surprised by how all that played out, and knows from that alone that mai is a layered and complex person who contains multitudes). I think what might cause mai to warm to him is politics - sokka's a pragmatist, who is skeptical of idealism without material backing and is refreshingly realistic for one of aang's friends. he keeps the fire nation on its toes at the negotiating table but he's also the first to point out when a potential proposition - when anyone's potential proposition - has more logical holes than a piece of honeycomb. i think mai appreciates that perspective. and i think they could slowly and gradually go from personality clashing to building this begrudging friendship where mai will never openly admit that she likes him, where sokka will still grate but in a way that becomes almost familiar and comfortable because of that, and where - especially in a situation where they have to work on a project together - they're a formidable team. a difficult friendship but eventually could be a dear one.

mai & katara: another personality clash that becomes a really fascinating friendship. katara wasn't there for boiling rock and is perhaps a bit cool towards mai even understanding what she did there, and the grounds where they most often meet is politics, and they largely are at odds there too. they're interesting parallels, in terms of role - both partners of powerful world leaders, but while mai positions herself as a vital support and power behind zuko's regime, furthering that goal, katara loathes to be associated with aang simply because of their romantic relationship, and does not envision their relationship to be a political one: aang and katara stand independent, but with shared values and goals (and perhaps katara simply does not understand why mai takes the position she does regarding politics and relationships). their actual political approach wildly differs, with katara being an impassioned idealist who is the most radical out of the gaang, whereas mai is a pragmatist - much more concerned about the feasibility of the radical ideas proposed and sees herself occupying the role of a much needed skeptic who asks 'okay, but how are we going to do this?' in a group of radicals. this does lead to some fierce clashes actually - some of katara's proposals appear outlandish to mai, and katara interprets this as fire nation indoctrination and ideological conditioning limiting her perspective (and honestly neither are completely wrong - mai can be on occasion perhaps too conservative and cynical and that is often because her upbringing has limited her scope, and katara sometimes isn't fully aware of how feasible her ideas are and leaves practical concerns to others). I think despite this they have such a deep respect for each other - and that's in part why their arguments are so impassioned, because they both fundamentally know the other comes from a good place. mai saved katara's brother's life at boiling rock, and katara saved mai's partner during the final agni kai - they have both proven to each other the extent of their commitment and cared for another they care about deeply. they're the biggest idealism vs. cynicism clash but honestly over time i think the respect only grows over time despite periods of hot and cold. I'd like to think if katara ever has relationship difficulties with aang, after her gran's, it's mai whose advice she might respect the most - after all, it's mai who understands what it's like to date someone who is a world leader, and mai absolutely believes in having firm, healthy boundaries and little tolerance for sufferring for men in relationships. I think given their positions they're often in dialogue and in conversation and end up building the most unexpected but also rock solid friendship. they *would* take a bullet for each other, i am sure of it.

mai & toph: i love these two. an incredible friendship. mai takes to toph the quickest out of aang's friends. it makes sense - toph comes from a similar class and upbringing as mai, albeit has taken a different life path and expresses herself completely differently, and i think while surprised and thrown at first by toph's bluntness, mai sees that and not only respects but honestly just loves how toph is a little crass, and doesn't hold decorum as the be all and end all. I think the age difference here actually makes a difference - mai very much sees toph as a younger peer (and eventually, much like zuko, a younger sibling), and while it can be sad to see someone from a younger generation express themselves freely in a way that mai feel she can't, i think her joy at seeing that takes precedence here over any mixed feelings. mai pretends not to be amused at toph's antics (but quietly delights at them) and absolutely is the person who will get the authorities that be in the fire nation to look away from whatever misdemeanours she's committing at any given time (indeed, mai as often been a partner in crime - actually, speaking of, she's been surprised before to see katara also partake with toph, and it was an ice-breaking moment for them, probably one engineered by toph). that said, mai absolutely does not patronise toph, gives it to her straight, will also tell toph when she's going too far or pushing the limit, something toph deeply respects and values. mai can see toph's wisdom and her strong intuitive understanding of how others feel, and admires that, as well as the kindness toph shows (i would not be surprised if mai looks at toph and wants to be a little more like her). I also think mai's sardonic and biting sense of humour is best appreciated by toph out of aang's friends (sokka also finds it very funny, but sokka is also trying hard to get mai to like him, as aforementioned). mai and toph vibe together *so hard* and *so well* (something i think zuko is quietly deeply grateful for, since mai hasn't clicked as well with the rest of the gaang, but also because he views toph like a little sister too).

mai & suki: right! so this one is complicated. mai does not see suki as often as the rest of the gaang - she sees katara and aang often for political reasons, at summits and keets and so on, sokka keeps in touch often and is constantly sending letters, and toph will just turn up unannounced and will stay for several weeks to "relandscape" the fire nation gardens (so she claims) every year or so. I am sticking to show canon here but reject the comics canon - there is no way in hell suki ends up as a bodyguard for zuko, the kyoshi warriors have better things to be doing. so! while mai absolutely saved the teal at boiling rock and suki knows this, the fact that they see each other relatively little mean things are a bit... cool between them? Not quite cold, but there's a degree of awkwardness that mai works past with the others that takes longer with suki. I honestly don't know if suki knows how she should feel about mai? like ty lee not only helped at boiling rock but then went on to work with the warriors and suki very much sees someone who wants to prove herself and right those wrongs in ty lee (as well as someone who is running away but. that's another post). mai completed step 1 and 2 with boiling rock, but hasn't... done anything after that. and on paper they're cool and she knows it but... idk if she knows how to feel? it's a bit weird. a bit awkward and weird. it's possible suki holds more of a grudge than she's willing to admit (she's been most directly wronged by mai and ty lee after all) and the fact that mai has returned to the fire nation, and been, according to katara, disappointingly conservative at times, makes her question what boiling rock meant. suki is cordial and professional around mai but doesn't really know her that well and doesn't trust her as much as the others. mai doesn't particularly care either way and will take or leave friendship with suki (though mai, to be clear, does respect suki immensely as a warrior). the key factor here is ty lee, honestly. i think the two of them could have an excellent relationship if so inclined but it would apmost definitely be due to ty lee trying to prod them into getting along and hanging out and getting to know each other - because i think they're both practical minded, no-nonsense girls who are exceptionally skilled in martial arts and if nothing else they could bond theough sparring sessions, but i think they'd also just get along splendidly if they had the chance. suki just doesn't quite trust mai and mai making those personal amends isn't a priority when she's trying to stop zuko running the fire nation into the ground.

#mai #aang #sokka #katara #toph #suki #this is SO long but please appreciate it

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