#i've written in british fandoms and tried

[calinaannehart]

So, what, because your both British you're suddenly bezzie mates?

I've never been disappointed in Oliver's behaviour until these past few months. For a man who's known for being quite outspoken about issues with the world, and has previously called fans out for their weird behaviour online, he hasn't once called anyone out for the behaviour toward Lou.

His fellow cast member and on screen love interest received FUCKING DEATH threats, was DOXXED twice, has had fans contacting professional employment opportunities and spin them a pack of LIES and FALSE information, all because they didn't like that Buck was dating Tommy and not Eddie, and yet Oliver hasn't said a fucking word?

I used to hold this man on a pedestal, I thought he could do no wrong, I though he was one of those 'one in a million' men who stood up for what was right and tried to encourage other's to do the same.

I can't look at him in the same way anymore. His behaviour, and that of the ABC publicists, and the rest of the cast, for not calling out the extremely poor behaviour of the fandom has completely ruined the show for me. I'm upset, I'm angry, I'm frustrated, and I'm so fucking let down.

Before anyone jumps down my throat that I'm just mad they wrote Tommy out, that's not it. Yes, I'm sad at the way Tommy's arc was handled, I'm sad at the lack of resolution, I'm sad that the relationship was rush and built up so much only for an out of the blue 180.

I have been a buddie shipper since I joined the fandom late in season 90% of the fanfic I've written is buddie, I have been a die hard buddie supporter, but I'm not now. Because a certain section of the fandom ruined it for me. The absolute toxicity of some buddie shippers has turned me off the ship entirely because of the posts threatening violence, harm, and fucking DEATH, to a man who was quite simply doing his job.

The people responsible for such nasty behavious need to take a fucking long, hard look in the mirror and think about their actions. Are you proud of what you've done? The hurt and upset you've caused to your fellow fans and and to LFJ in particular? How would you feel if such vileness was directed at you? I guarantee you, you wouldn't like it. You'd feel upset, scared, even possibly terrified if someone leaked your private information online.

Will I keep watching 911? I don't know, I know nobody will care whether I do or not, certainly the toxic fans.

Will I keep writing 911 fanfiction? Sure, because it's been my happy space for so long.

Will I keep writing buddie? Other than the fics I already have in the works, probably not.

[instructionsnotincluded]

True North - Sneak Peek (John "Bucky" Egan x Original Female Character)

Ok so after a handful of messages yesterday, I was feeling inspired and a little excited about the possibility of a new fandom and may have binged some of Masters of the Air late last night. I'm not quite sure where it's going to end up, but here's part of the first chapter. Testing the waters (or clouds?) to see if there's even any interest in it. OR if it's just total shit, since it's a new era I've never written for before. (If so, we can just pretend this never happened, hahaha.)

Pairing: John "Bucky" Egan x Original Female Character

Length: 1935 Words

Warnings: Language, military inaccuracies, writer flying by the seat of her pants as she tries to research more about WWII and pilots, mentally cursing herself for not paying closer attention in history class, 18+, MDNI.

“You’re flyin’ today, Frank!” 

The loud accented voice filled her ears, the brunette squinting her eyes closed tightly as she heard footsteps echoing all around the shared room, the sounds of trunks opening and closing joining in a moment later. She’d just been on the verge of a delicious dream with Gary Cooper’s character from The Westerner when Dorothy Skylar’s voice interrupted their suggestive conversation, her friend rudely butting into the fantasy.

“If you don’t get up, they’ll give your spot to the boys!”

“Ok!” Frank lifted her arm into the air, waving it around to signal she was, in fact, alive, “ok! I’m up—I’m getting up. Keep your panties on.”

“We call ‘em knickers ‘round here, love!” Dorothy’s laughter bounced along the walls, mixing in with the various posters, postcards, photos, and letters pinned above each of the beds, “if you’re going to talk about them, get it right!”

“You are all so irritating,” Frank shifted into a sitting position, the thin strap of her silk tank-top falling over her shoulder as she pressed the heel of her palm into her eye, “does no one like to sleep in anymore?”

“Haven’t had the luxury in years, darling,” Dorothy finished buckling her belt, pausing briefly in the full-length mirror as she adjusted the pins in her curls, “while you Americans have been ignoring what’s been going on across the Atlantic, we’ve been living this nightmare for years.”

“Well—at least it’s a shared one now,” Frank rested the back of her hand against her mouth as she stifled a yawn, “alright, I’m getting up. Where am I going?”

“Thorpe Abbotts,” Dorothy glanced over her shoulder to look at Frank as the shorter woman moved around her bed and over to her trunk, pushing aside piles of unfolded clothing to find her uniform, “should be a quick flight, you’ll be back before dark.”

“Maybe,” Frank disrobed and redressed once her undergarments were secured, Dorothy averting her eyes as Frank changed before messing with her hair, “we’ll see—last time I flew the airfield manager wouldn’t let me off the plane until he’d spoken to at least three men, one of whom was ranked lower than me.”

Dorothy only hummed, both women more than aware of how difficult it could sometimes be ferrying planes to and from airfields and bases, especially if the Americans were involved. It was still shocking to most men that women flew—and while the program in the US was slowly getting off the ground, the British had fully embraced female pilots, the Air Transport Auxiliary allowing women to help ferry new, repaired, and damaged aircraft between factories, plants, airfields, and squadrons. Frank had jumped at the chance to fly, to do something for the war effort that wasn’t working in a factory—she had well over four-hundred hours of flight time in the US, and while the United States Army Air Forces wasted time debating on whether or not you needed a dick to fly, she bypassed the red tape and joined the ATA shortly after Jacqueline Cochran led the first group to England. Fast forward two years later and Frank found herself an active member of the No. 6 Ferry Pool, doing whatever she could, whenever she could. 

“Are you going to see that boy of yours?” Dorothy asked, nodding towards one of the folded letters on Frank’s nightstand, the corner of it peeking out from under one of her journals.

Frank shook her head as she finished buttoning up her flight suit, the material heavy, thick, and too big for her frame before sliding on the sheepskin jacket. That was another thing about being a female pilot—there weren’t any uniforms to fit the female body, the material often baggy on her arms and legs, but tight across her hips. “He went down a few months ago over the North Sea,” Frank mentally scolded herself for not tossing the letter after she heard the news. They hadn’t been that close—a few afternoon dates when she found herself on overnight trips to London and he happened to be there, brief memories of them sneaking around hallways, bodies pressed up against walls as they sought comfort and distraction in one another. He was from Texas and smelled like home, reminding her of easier times when she was away at college, just trying to find direction in life. But like that experience, he was gone and she was left to figure out which way was North once again. 

“Frank…”

“It’s fine,” Frank reached for her bag, Dorothy pausing at the doorway, eyes cloudy with regret as she watched her friend pass her, pressing the heavy wooden door open as both women stepped out into the hallway of the dormitory the ATA housed them in, “it’s war.”

“That doesn’t mean it didn’t mean something…that it doesn’t hurt…”

“I thought you were British,” Frank pushed the emotion and tears away, scolding her heart for clenching as she turned to walk backwards, pressing a finger onto Dorothy’s badged chest, “aren’t you supposed to ‘stiff upper lip’ everything?”

Dorothy only rolled her eyes, the girls exiting the building a few moments later, the cloudy gray English sky greeting them as they crossed the pathway towards the waiting trucks, “have I ruined your flight time?” Dorothy asked quietly once they were in the back of the jeep, eyeing her friend as Frank leaned heavily against the side, “you’re not going to be distracted are you? You’re flying a Class 5 aircraft today—you need to be focused.”

“I’m fine,” Frank waved her off, “and even if I wasn’t, I’d be fine once I’m in the air. Trust me, that’s the only place my mind doesn’t wander.”

Dorothy didn’t appear convinced, but didn’t push the matter, the girls sitting in silence the rest of the ride to the airfield. Planes dotted the landscape, the tower looming in the background. Most of the planes would find homes on other bases or airfields, another tool for the boys to use in their battles. For a while it felt like production was stalling, they had so few to ferry around, but it seemed in the last year or so it had definitely picked up, so many different classes of aircraft ready to be delivered to the Allies. Frank hadn’t yet flown into Thorpe Abbotts, the Royal Air Force station just a handful of miles to the east of Diss, Norfolk. It was fairly new, having been built the previous year, but once the United States Army Air Forces took possession of the airfield, it seemed like activity was picking up. 

The boys at Thorpe Abbotts seemed to be going through planes like candy, and Frank was pretty sure this was their fifth ferry to the airfield in less than two weeks. Typically they flew to the smaller satellite bases once a month, maybe twice if there were mechanical issues, but five times in two weeks? Something was definitely going on in East Anglia. She’d heard low rumblings of the amount of planes that went down during their missions from the British pilots—the men criticizing the Americans for bombing during the day rather than waiting until evening. One conversation she overheard at dinner a few weeks ago seemed to be about the recently arrived 100th Bombardment Group and how they kept losing men to dumb tactical decisions. “It’s war,” one of the heavier accented men had said, slumped backwards in his chair as he rested a beer on the table, “you do what you need to survive.”

“...are you listening to a word I’m saying?”

Frank’s eyes snapped back to those of Commander Dorothy Skylar’s, the three gold stripes she wore on the shoulder strap of her jacket seeming to catch in what little sunlight they had today, making Frank’s two stripes seem even less important than they already felt. “Yes, sorry,” Frank shook her head and the memories away, forcing herself back into the present, “I was just thinking about Thorpe Abbotts and some of the conversations that I’ve heard in passing about it.”

“They’re losing men and planes at a rapid rate of speed,” Dorothy nodded, glancing down at the folder of papers Frank just realized the woman was carrying, “I don’t think this will be your last ferry there.”

“No,” Frank turned her head as she watched the massive Boeing B-17 Flying Fortress come into view, eyes slowly taking in the matte green of the plane, white lettering and stars decorating the wings and body, “no, I don’t think it will be either.”

The girls scrambled out of the jeep when it came to a stop, their male driver neither acknowledging nor checking with them before he sped off, Dorothy just barely clearing the rear left bumper as he turned. “Fucker,” Dorothy whispered under her breath as they crossed the tarmac, “we fly planes and he drives a jeep—yet we’re still the gum under his shoe.”

“Men are babies,” Frank said as she approached the plane, left arm extending to slide across the edge of the wing, “they move from one tit to another, starting with their mother’s, until they die.”

Dorothy laughed, shaking her head as she watched Frank move through the checklist she had memorized by now, a few of the engineers hovering nearby if needed. A younger woman, who appeared to be just barely over eighteen approached quickly a handful of minutes later, clipboard pressed tightly to her chest, “Stella Frank?”

“Captain,” Frank corrected her, the girl almost shrinking back in on herself as she looked over at Dorothy for approval, but the higher ranked commander only stared back blankly, “it’s Captain Frank.”

“Yes—yes, Captain Frank,” the woman shuffled a few papers around as Frank came to stand beside Dorothy, both women waiting as she handed over a thin packet of instructions, hand shaking as she did, “here are your pilot notes, I’m so sorry they weren’t delivered sooner.”

“Thank you…” Frank waited expectantly but the girl didn’t appear to catch on that Frank was waiting for her name, and instead smiled politely at both women before scurrying off. 

“Must you be so brash all the time?” Dorothy asked once the girl was out of ear shot, “I think today’s her first day.”

“Then she’s lucky she stumbled across me,” Frank flipped open the folder, eyeing the notes that gave her heading and speed instructions, as well as landing information, “if it’d been Ryan or Phillips she’d be on a plane back to the states right about now with wet knickers.”

“You’re not wrong,” Dorothy squinted up towards the sky, “you better get on with it—you’re due at Thorpe Abbotts in a few hours. You might get held up for a bit after you land, I think you’re ferrying back one of the planes that took heavier fire, so be safe.” Frank saluted her commander and Dorothy only rolled her eyes, “and watch for the fog, alright? I don’t know if Carol put it in the notes, but the fog around the airfield is sometimes incredibly thick. The boys may not see you until you’re landing.”

“And they have seen a woman before, right?” Frank lifted her eyebrows and Dorothy only shrugged playfully, “this isn’t one of the groups where there’s hardly any women on base and I’ll feel like a monkey at the zoo, right?” Dorothy took a few steps back in the direction of one of the metal buildings along the tarmac, a wide smile across her face. Frank only raised her voice to be heard, “right?”

“Don’t fall in love, Captain!” Dorothy called back, “we’ll see you back later tonight.”

[captainsophiestark]

The Gunmen Were A Relief

Daniel Sousa x Reader

Masterlist - Join My Taglist!

Written for Fictober 2024!

Fandom: Marvel

Day Ten Prompt: "Is this normal?"

Summary: Daniel's planned out the perfect night to tell his SO about his real job as Chief of the LA SSR. Unfortunately for him, things don't quite go according to plan.

Word Count: 2,090

Category: Fluff, Humor, little bit of Angst but not really

Putting work into an AI program without permission is illegal. You do not have my permission. Do not do it.

"Wow. You look amazing."

I smiled, feeling the heat rise to my face at the compliment from my amazing, wonderful boyfriend. Daniel Sousa stood before me in a suit, a boquet of roses in his hand.

"Thanks. So do you."

He huffed a laugh. "Thanks."

He handed me the roses as soon as I got close enough, and I leaned in to give him a soft kiss. When I pulled back, Daniel had a smile on his face, but he looked a little more fidgety than normal.

"Here. Let me get your chair."

Daniel moved to pull my chair out, pushing it back in for me as I sat. We'd been dating for a while now, and Daniel had decided to plan an extra-special date night tonight. The table was laid out gorgeously, with candles creating an amazingly romantic mood, and he'd managed to get our table set up on a gorgeous rooftop overlooking LA. When I'd told my friends about the plan, they'd immediately started freaking out because they were sure Daniel was planning to propose.

I'd told them they were crazy. Daniel and I were certainly getting serious, but we weren't at that point yet. Now, looking at Daniel fidgeting across the table from me, I wasn't so sure.

"Daniel... are you okay?" I asked. He froze halfway through shifting in his chair, eyebrows raised as he met my eyes. "You just seem a little... off."

He sighed, looking down at the table and shaking his head. He seemed to be wrestling with a decision, but after a few moments, he looked up and met my eyes again. His expression was still grimly serious, but he'd at least settled into his seat a little more.

"Alright, I wanted to wait until we were a little further through dinner for this, but... I guess now's just as good a time."

My heart dropped to my shoes. Was he seriously proposing? We hadn't talked about marriage at all. I definitely saw a future with him, but I also definitely wasn't ready for that future to start right now.

"So-"

"DANIEL!"

I whirled around at the sound of a loud voice behind me to find a woman I didn't recognize crashing our date. I frowned, but her attention stayed mostly fixed on Daniel.

"Have you told her yet?" she asked in a British accent. I whipped around to find Daniel looking incredulous and glaring at her.

"No! Get out!"

"I'm sorry, but I can't. We've got a situation developing and you're needed, now."

Daniel looked ready to keep arguing, but the woman came over and dragged him to his feet before he could. He yanked his arm out of her grasp, but grabbed his crutch and started following her.

"Fine!" He shot a glance back at me. "I'm so sorry about this. I promise I'll answer any questions you have later, and this really isn't how I wanted to tell you, but... I'm with the SSR."

"...WHAT?"

"Daniel! Now!" called the British lady, already halfway back to the door on the roof.

"I'm sorry, but I really have to go. Peggy—Agent Peggy Carter—wouldn't be doing this to us if it weren't an emergency."

With that, he turned and started hustling after the agent. I couldn't do more than blink after him for a few moments, completley speechless and in shock, but finally, I came back to my senses. I shot to my feet and ran after him.

"Daniel! Hold on!"

"GET DOWN!"

The shout came from Agent Carter, her voice ringing out across the roof a second before a sound like a gunshot echoed, too. A moment later, something barreled into me, taking me to the ground. I landed hard, and when I tried to get up, I couldn't. I felt myself starting to panic, but Daniel's voice in my ear managed to soothe me.

"It's okay, I've got you."

I took a few deep breaths, and finally calmed down enough to realize that Daniel was the weight keeping me on the floor. Much worse, a moment later I realized I could still hear what sounded like gunshots. What maybe were gunshots.

"Daniel...��what is happening?" I cried, a little bit of hysteria creeping into my voice. Daniel met my eyes. He looked much calmer here than he had sitting at the table, which seemed incredibly backwards to me.

"Apparently Peggy brought the case to us," Daniel huffed. He only seemed midly annoyed, which was a crazy reaction. I shook my head, feeling myself getting more and more worked up, until Daniel's hand found my waist and he rested his forehead gently against mine. "Hey. We're gonna be fine. I promise."

I took a deep breath. I nodded. I trusted Daniel, and he seemed weirdly calm and confident. If he wasn't panicking, I wouldn't either.

"Okay, I need you to get down and stay down behind the fan unit over there. Alright?"

"Yeah. Yeah, okay."

"Good. Just keep your head down. I'm going to go help Peggy."

I nodded again, moving behind the fan as Daniel shuffled to cover of his own closer to the action. I took a few deep breaths, but I didn't make it more than thirty seconds before my curiosity won out. I peeked around the edge of the fan unit to find Daniel and Peggy in a firefight, each behind their own cover, firing back at a few armed men who'd burst through the door to the roof. I shook my head. It felt like I'd ended up in one of the movies Daniel and I went to see for date nights.

My friends had been wrong. Daniel hadn't been proposing to me. Apparently, he'd been working up to tell me he led a double life. Instead of working with a talent agency, he was a badass government agent that didn't flinch at the prospect of a firefight.

Despite the initial chaos and panic, I had to admit, watching Daniel in his element like this made my heart race in a good way. He shouted something to Peggy, and at the same moment, I noticed movement off to his left.

He didn't notice. He was communitacting with Peggy. Meanwhile, some guy was sneaking up on him from the side.

"Daniel! On your left!"

Daniel whipped around, and to my relief, he managed to move out of the way before the guy on the side could get a clear shot at him. Unfortunately, the guy then turned to look at me. I took a half-step back, my heart dropping to my shoes. Daniel shifted in my direction, but before he could get very far, the door to the roof flew open again.

"Alright, everybody drop your weapons! The cavalry's here."

I turned to the door to find a blond man standing with his gun levelled at the guy closest to him, half a dozen other men coming through the door behind him. The guys on the roof that had been shooting at us froze, then slowly dropped their weapons. Daniel and Peggy both stood up, and to my surprise, they both looked mildly annoyed.

"What?" asked the blond, strutting towards the two of them with a grin on his face. Suddenly, the annoyance made more sense. "No thank you?"

Daniel didn't even bother to respond. He rolled his eyes and turned back to me, closing the distance between us quickly. He took my hand as soon as he reached me, looking me over, I guess for any injuries. When he didn't find any, the corner of his mouth started to pull up in a smile.

"You okay?" he asked. I took a deep breath, then nodded. I realized I was starting to smile a little, too.

"Yeah. Yeah, I think I am."

"You did good," he said. "Thanks for catching that guy trying to sneak around on me."

"Yeah! I'm glad you managed to get out of the way. And... I'm glad your guy showed up before he could get payback."

"I am not Sousa's guy. I'm the Chief of the SSR."

I nearly jumped a foot as my world widened out beyond Daniel again and I found the blond and Peggy standing next to us.

"Chief of the New York SSR, Thompson. New York only," Daniel corrected with an eyeroll. Thompson rolled his eyes right back, he, Peggy, and Daniel all forming a little semicircle with their hands on their hips. I couldn't hold back a laugh.

All three people turned their attention back to me. I gave Peggy and Thompson a little wave.

"Nice to meet you guys," I said.

"Likewise," said Peggy with a little smile. "We've heard a lot about you."

"Yeah," agreed Thompson. "Sousa spends half of our Chief conference calls talking about you."

I raised an eyebrow, but before I could ask any followup questions, Daniel took his opening.

"Don't you two have better things to do? Like taking all the armed bad guys we just caught to jail?"

"I don't know, Sousa, I think-"

Peggy elbowed Thompson in the side, hard, cutting him off mid-sentence.

"Yes, we do. We'll get out of your hair for now." She turned to me with a smile. "It was lovely to meet you."

I smiled, most of the adrenaline having finally drained away. "It was great to meet you, too. Despite the circumstances."

We shared a smile, and then she all but dragged Thompson off the roof with her. Daniel watched them go, looking more exhausted than I'd ever seen before, then turned back to me with a sigh.

"I'm sorry about them. And about putting you at risk like this. I really didn't want you to find out this way. But... what do you think? Are you okay with this? Putting up with this?"

I paused, pretending to think. Finally, I met Daniel's eyes. He looked seriously worried again, so I reached out and took his hand.

"I have two questions. First... that Thompson guy said you had Chief calls. What exactly do you do for the SSR?"

"...I'm the Chief of the LA SSR."

I couldn't keep the corner of my mouth from pulling up in a smile. "Okay, that's pretty cool."

Daniel huffed a laugh. "I'm incredibly relieved that you think so. What's your second question?"

"Is this normal? Do I need to be prepared to have our dinner dates interrupted by men with guns for the rest of our lives?"

"Not necessarily. Sometimes it's women with guns."

I laughed, shaking my head as I leaned into Daniel. He wrapped his arms around me, and I rested my head on his shoulder.

"Daniel. I love you. I'm in this for the long haul. I'm not going to lie, I'm a little relieved you weren't proposing, but it's going to take more than a few people with guns to chase me off."

Now it was Daniel's turn to laugh. He shook his head, then sighed.

"Well, ideally the rest of our night should still be ours. Our dinner doesn't look like it got hit by any stray bullets. You want to pick up where we left off?"

"Let's do it."

The two of us started heading back to the table hand-in-hand. The candles were still lit, which gave me hope the rest of our evening could be just as romantic and special as Daniel had been planning.

"Hey, uh... one question for you?" I hummed, nodding to Daniel as we retook our seats. "Did you say you thought I was proposing to you?"

"Yeah. I mean, the candles, the rooftop dinner, how nervous you were? I think the more common cause is proposal, not secretly a secret agent chief."

Daniel huffed a little laugh, then looked up at me again as he picked up the bottle of wine.

"So... you said you wouldn't want that?"

"I said I wouldn't want that right now. I love you, but I feel like I'm not completely done getting to know you. Especially now that I have about a thousand new questions about your job. But just because I'm not quite ready to get engaged doesn't mean I'm not planning to be in this for the long haul."

Daniel smiled and took my hand across the table, giving it a gentle squeeze. We let the moment stretch on, the two of us happy together and enjoying the newly returned peace, until Daniel leaned back with a sigh.

"It's probably for the best. I don't want our proposal story to include a gun fight or Jack Thompson."

I laughed. "He certainly seemed like a character. I'd love to get to know him and Peggy better, especially if they're regular fixtures in your life."

Daniel nodded. "You will. I thought we could all get breakfast tomorrow. But I wanted tonight to just be the two of us."

"That sounds perfect to me."

****************

Everything Taglist: @rosecentury @kmc1989 @space-helen

Marvel Taglist: @valkyriepirate @infinetlyforgotten @sagesmelts @gaychaosgremlin

[leupagus]

Three-Legged Puppy Fics

List five of your least-popular fics, as well as when/why you wrote them.

Home to the Weary: Merlin, Gwen/Morgana, 2010.

I wrote this at the request of a friend who wanted, I think, something Gwen-centric. Because I was not a fan of the show I decided to focus on an AU in which Gwen backflipped out of that whole situation and founded her own sort of kingdom, only meeting the terrible trio years later. It was really fun and was the first time I'd ever tried writing a fic that hinted at a larger world going on around the characters, if that makes sense. This one's a little pretentious but you can definitely see my "style" as it were.

Treads on the Ground: Babylon (not the sci-fi show, the short-lived british cop show), Liz Garvey/Finn Kirkwood, 2022.

This was written during my Bertie Carvel phase where I'd watched "Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell" and was desperate for something, anything, that didn't have him wearing terrible prosthetics or playing a psycho. He still sort of plays a psycho in this show, but he looks super hot and angry all the time which is really all I needed. (Also bonus hilarity: Liz's boyfriend in this show is played by none other than James Lance, playing "louche asshole" to the absolute hilt.) Anyway I wrote this because I really wanted a fake dating AU for these two AND a "Finn is secretly in line to the throne" fic and this was the perfect way to combine these two. I'm still legitimately really proud of thsi fic.

The Bright Relief: 1776 musical, John Adams & Thomas Jefferson (and a little bit of / in there, if I'm honest), 2010.

I wrote this because my friends waldorph and screamlet and I were having the Summer of 1776 Feelings and we all wrote various (wonderful) crimes and misdemeanors in that fandom, mostly revolving all the ways in people who love John Adams make fun of him. That was a truly terrible summer but made a whole lot better by those two, and by William Daniels being the most John Adams to ever John Adams. (I actually rewatched the miniseries a few months ago and Paul Giamatti does a great job but that thing is SO DREARY. Although I will say Stephen Dillane first caught my eye in the role of TJeff, aka once again playing a guy who's down real bad for someone smarter than him (in this case both Abigail AND John). The scene where he first meets Abigail is just nonstop flirting, with John making faces in the background. It's great.)

Happy Tails To You (Until We Meet Again): SGA, Rodney McKay/John Sheppard, 2009.

Oh lordy — probably the worst fic I've ever written, but I can't quite bring myself to delete it. I've been on the periphery of fandom for most of my adult life (what up X-Files yahoo groups and Prodigy Star Trek RP rooms), but SGA was what made me start thinking of writing fic after a long period of only reading it. (Yes, there is college-era gus fic out there. No, I'm not posting it on AO3.) I never quite got a handle on Sheppard or McKay but I did enjoy writing this and the other SGA fic I wrote, but yeah this deserves its obscurity.

Honey Now I'm Not One To Complain: Dalgliesh, Adam Dalgliesh/Kate Miskin, 2022.

Another one of my "Bertie Carvel is extremely attractive when he's sad and/or a cop" flash-fandoms, although I wrote a pretty good primer on the first season that I think gives a good case for the show as a whole. I wanted to write that largely because the show is so resolutely grim and I prefer stories that are... not grim, so I gave myself the challenge of putting these guys into one of the classic tropes. I did toy with the fake dating/marriage trope but honestly I think this was funnier, and I would always rather commit to the bit.

Tagging uhhh let's see, @laiqualaurelote, @themardia, @sadcypress, @auntieclimactic, and @eyebrowofdoom, if they (or anyone else) wants to do this.

[legend-of-voltron-rewrite]

(This is just a few random questions I think abt when i find an author i like-)

What other media/hobbies do you indulge in? What's some of your biggest interests? (Other than voltron ofc) Is there another Fandom you'd write for? Favorite childhood show(s)?

Big question, favorite volron paladin? Favorite character in voltron? (No limitations- you could answer bii-bob-bi tbh. hes a fantastic choice)

BIGGER QUESTION!! What inspired you to write this rewrite and how do you motivate yourself to continue?

That's all! Hope you're having a lovely day! :)

Hello!

-

I'm very big into anime - I started watching them when I was eleven and never stopped. I watch other animated shows (Western), which I'll list in a later segment.

I'm also into manga, though not comics, (never really knew why, just couldn't get into it). Games, too, mainly RPGs, though I have been into FPS co-op as of late.

Don't judge me: K-Pop. I only really interact/watch content for one group, (will come up later), but I used to juggle between many groups.

As for hobbies other than writing: I'm big into art. Took classes for them and everything. Though this may have been obvious from early chapters of book one.

I've tried to get into making animatics, but I ended up stopping half-way through everytime I started. I like voice acting, though I've only ever done it once for someone I'm no longer friends with haha.

I used to be big into baking, but was never good at it. I'm much better at cooking, though mainly Asian dishes, (due to heritage and such).

My biggest interests... I'll keep it limited to five, else this segment would be much longer.

One Piece, (generic but it's popular for a reason), is a favourite of mine. The writing, world building, characters, relationships, messages, themes - I love it all. Definitely a high reccomendation.

Gravity Falls, because it's just that good? Even the weakest episode would be considered top tier if it was in another series. Dipper and Mabel's relationship is everything to me, and Stan was the uncle I always wanted. Love him.

Fullmetal Alchemist, mostly MangaHood, but the 2003 anime adaptation is great too. It's honestly of the best written works I've ever interacted with, and it makes perfect sense that it's highly rated.

SHINee, the K-Pop group I mentioned before. I'd call them standards for the industry, but then nobody would be able to share the stage with them. I'm a Shawol for life baby!

Finally, Katekyou Hitman Reborn. This was the first fandom I wrote fics for, back on my WattPad days, and I still love it to this day. I wish for the fandom to be revived so I may read the trashy fanfics I once adored and now hide my face in shame to.

Other fandoms I write for: Fairy Tail, though I haven't touched the AU I started in months. My Hero Academia, though only through my Tumblr page @my-rewrite-academia. I've been working on a Persona 5 fanfiction behind the scenes for a while, though I haven't progressed past chapter three.

I have an alt AO3 account, where I've written for MHA, Kuroko No Basket, Persona 5, SuperM, and the Banana Bus Squad (Vanoss and Friends).

My old WattPad has mostly Katekyou Hitman Reborn, and a sprinkle of Fullmetal Alchemist.

Neither of the previous two shall be linked, as I honestly just want to leave behind those fixs behind, considering I wrote them when I was thirteen and nothing made sense.

My favourite childhood show(s): Spongebob, Mr. Maker (only British kids will understand), Pokemon, and Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. Also Sonic Boom, though that was exclusive to my teen years than childhood. The How To Train Your Dragon shows were also a favourite of mine, including Riders and Defenders of Berk.

If movies count, then How To Train Your Dragon, Shrek, Megamind, and Scary Movie(s). Scary Movie(s) sound like a weird thing, and it was. I was in the room with my older siblings when they put it on and never bothered to leave.

-

Now the Voltron-related segment!

Favourite Paladin: Keith. I hope it's not entirely obvious in my writing, as I wish to treat every character equally, but he is my favourite. I relate to him a lot and he ticks a lot of my boxes.

Favourite character: Keith, again. Other than Keith, however, it's Coran, the Gorgeous Man. He's always so jolly despite the heartbreak he's been through, and the writers were able to balance his comedy so well.

(Apart from the Voltron Show where they were clearly running out of ideas and/or time and made him more annoying than funny.)

-

BIGGEST QUESTIONS:

"What inspired me to write this rewrite–" (first half)

I actually started writing it in 2021, where I went on a three-year break due to losing motivation and my interest dwindling, at the time anyway. I was initially inspired to write it when I grew more and more frustrated with how canon handled many things.

As with many teen shows, I began to wonder if it would be handled better had it been intended for a more mature audience. It didn't help that I read the fanfics before I watched the show, so I had a certain level of expectations that weren't quite met.

I won't blame the writers, as it's usually just two or three people higher-up who make all the decisions. I was disappointed in DreamWorks, not the team behind it who have no choice but to follow orders.

But, yeah. The turning point, what really pushed me into starting and publishing the rewrite, was when I started thinking about how I'd handle each character and each arc. How I'd write different relationships, how I'd write each theme.

From there, I decided to put my money where my mouth was, so to speak.

It was a terrible start, really. When I first started writing it, I only had a vague idea of how I'd go about it. When I came back to the rewrite, the first thing I did was create a proper plan, else it'd just end up like the show - disappointing and missing so much.

I can remember, when I started, I just wanted to write a better story, which is a terrible mindset. This idea that the only thing that mattered was being better than the show is a toxic one.

My mindset is a lot better, of course. I've grown up since then, and spite-writing is something of the past. Maybe there are things I'm displeased with in canon, but I don't allow that spite to control me.

Rather, I feel more enthused, viewing it as more like adding onto what canon missed - filling in scenes rather than being better.

So, consider this a PSA to authors who spitewrite - get out of your minds. It feels much better to write if done with good intentions rather than negative. Words come easier and it doesn't feel like a chore.

-

"–and how do you motivate yourself to continue?"

Keeping a schedule, first and foremost. It differs from person to person, but having a set schedule of every '—day' helps a lot. It urges me to write, and the pressure helps me more than debilitates.

Of course, others may disagree. For others, having a strict schedule may feel constricting and thus hinder creativity, but it's helpful to me. This idea of, 'I have to do this', 'if not now then when?', helps me a lot.

It's also my longest fic to date, so to stop now would feel like a large disservice to both me and to the people who read each new chapter.

Then there's you! I'm not kidding, either. Comments, now more than ever, are usually so rare.

I once saw a post about an author discovering a discord server where their fic, (which had very little comments), was being heavily dicussed, and people had nothing but praise for it. When they asked why they didn't comment, they said that they didn't feel the need to, or that it would be embarrassing. That they never knew what to comment, despite the praise they had for it.

The author then decided to abandon the work upon finding this out. Because we don't get anything from posting our works. All we ask for is some form of praise or acknowledgement, and comments are just that.

Even if it's [<33] or [This is good!] or even [please update], we appreciate it all. Honestly, the only time I refuse to comment, rather than simply forgetting, is when an author holds fics hostage. The whole, 'I want x-many comments or else I won't update'. At that point, I lose any respect they had.

Comments are our lifeline, yet the idea of asking for comments feels like tabboo. As if we're less for leaving even a small note of, 'comment please', feels like it's asking for too much.

So to have a repeat commenter, to have you, is everything to me! If all else fails, if I can't find the motivation, I often think about those people who subscribed, who have my fic bookmarked, who comment on each update, and I think about how there are people who get excited with each update, who want to know what's going to happen next, who want to see this fic to its end.

It may sound corny, but my biggest motivation really is my readers, and those repeat comments give me life. It helps in ways that I never realised could.

-

And that is the end of the AMA/Q&A segment!! Thank you for sending this, stay tuned for the next update, have a great day, and look both ways before crossing the road!

[thescholarlystrumpet]

Tagged by @tawnyontumblr Thank you, luv! This is fun!

How many works do you have on ao3?

166 formatting is being weird without a sentence here

What's your total ao3 word count?

910,348 - ahhh approaching 1M!!

What fandoms do you write for?

Good Omens and (to a lesser extent) Hazbin Hotel right now. Past fandoms included Rumbelle, Whouffaldi, Buffy, and Avenue 5

Top five fics by kudos:

To Tell the Truth (Doctor Who) Whouffaldi moments woven between episodes. Mostly canon-compliant.

Lending a Hand (Good Omens) In his heavenly form he wouldn’t have had this dilemma at all because there was no corporeality with which to struggle. And on the other, much less ephemeral and much more literal hand, he currently had a very noticeable (and increasingly painful) erection.

Personal Assistance (The Thick of It/Doctor Who) Clara Oswald leaves behind teaching to enter the world of British politics. What better way to make a splash than by working for the infamous Malcolm Tucker? And if discovering a (mutual) attraction happens to catch them both off-guard.... well, that's just life, right?

The Babysitter (Once Upon a Time) Tumblr prompt: Mr. Gold forgets something at his house & goes back to go get it. When he arrives he hears his son's babysitter moaning and thinks she has a boy over. When he goes into his bedroom he finds her touching herself on his bed alone moaning his name.

None of Your Business (Once Upon a Time) “Well, it’s very nice to meet you at last, Angus.” She rolled his name around in her mouth as though she hadn’t been screaming it the night before. Mr. Gold tries to balance lust and trust with less finesse than he'd like to admit. Luckily, Belle can give as good as she gets.

Do you respond to comments?

I've made it a goal to try and reply to almost every comment. I'm grateful someone took the time!

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Oh undoubtedly Silence is Golden. I made my self tear up writing that one...

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Almost all of them? But I will take this chance to pimp my Canon-based Buffy Season Six Fix-it! (Everyone lives!): Making the Pieces Fit

Only totally non-shippy fic in my repertoire and one of my proudest achievements.

Do you get hate on fics?

rarely if ever?

Do you write smut?

Bwahahahahahaha. Oh. Yes.

Craziest crossover:

Not Just Watching Anymore - Buffy/Good Omens excuse to write an M/M/M threesome between Aziraphale, Crowley, and Giles :D

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yes, back in the rumbelle days, someone linked me to a site trying to sell my fic as theirs and we reported it.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

If they did, no one ever linked back to me :(

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Working on one with @hakunahistata tho we've both been sidetracked by Bang fics, hehe. It's gonna be great to get back!

All time favorite ship?

Oof. I love all my OTPs but I'm definitely *deep* in Aziracrow right now and hope not to emerge any time soon.

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

SO. MANY.

What are your writing strengths?

I get good feedback on my dialogue and characterization. I think I write pretty kickass smut most the time.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Background. What color are the walls? Where is the furniture? I have no fucking clue unless its relevant to the story. That table only existed when I needed the character to lean against it. It wasn't raining until that helped set the mood. Some people write exquisite scene setting and I am envious but writing it bores me to tears.

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

One of my IRL besties can read a bunch of ancient languages and WILL side eye improper grammatical structure in fiction so I picture them giving me that look unless I do the really proper research (or ask them directly).

First fandom you wrote in?

unofficially HP but per my AO3, Once Upon a Time

Favorite fic you've written?

Ask me to cut my baby in half while you're at it, geez! But right now, I am proudest of For Loving One 

No pressure tagging: @voluptatiscausa, @naromoreau, @fishey-me @ineffabildaddy @she-makes-things @hakunahistata @nosferatini @zin-lynn-c and anyone from the @goodomensafterdark crew!

[yourlocaldisneyvillain]

author interview

thanks to @allaganexarch for the tag!!! <3

1. how many works do you have on AO3?

29! considering i only started posting in march 2023, i think that's not too bad!

2. what's your total AO3 word count?

207,225 ! it's gonna go up by a LOT with the new fic i'm planning, that one is easily gonna be 80k or more lol. but for now, it is this! :)

3. what fandoms do you write for?

i am only inspired by one (1) tall british woman lol

4. what are your top five fics by kudos?

particular

push me gently (into love)

when the last restraint is gone

violet soul

danger level - one

honestly, i am not surprised! checks out ahaha. people love rom-coms and porn i suppose :)

5. do you respond to comments?

always! even if it takes me A While(TM) lol. i feel like people who bothered to take the time and leave a comment deserve my response!

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

hmmm. my endings ten to be kind of melancholy/open ending type of shit if it's angsty. but the angstiest, as in it's objectively an upsetting ending for a particular character, i think it's either the sad option on my ruin tastes so sweet (almost as sweet as your lips) or violet soul, followed by inevitable (even though i might even consider that one a happy ending given the Circumstances. like it could have been much worse i feel lol)

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

it's either particular or push me gently (into love)!

8. do you get hate on fics?

yes, but not in the ao3 comments! lol. they Find Me on tumblr and yell their grievances here lmao

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

i only have a couple of fic that *don't* feature smut of some kind lol. i love writing smut! as for what kind...... the lesbian kind. often really kinky, but not a rule! i've written vanilla stuff, too!

10. do you write crossovers? what's the craziest one you've written?

not a lot tbh! but i think a fun one i've done is a star wars/wednesday crossover that i exclusively wrote bc i wanted larissa weems and captain phasma to fuck lololol and i wanted to feature a chrome dildo as hommage to phasma's armour. it's fun, silly and really filthy porn if you wanna give it a read lol. chrome and lipstick

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

not an entire fic, but i have had my ideas plagiarised, actually by some well-known fandom names. or if i've shared an idea in a chat that person would accidentally get the same idea and post it before me lol. so that has taught me not to share my wips with anyone but my innermost circle lol.

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

i don't think so? i don't think i'd like be thrilled with that tbh.

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

i tried, but the person ghosted me lol. it's a shame, i really like her work.

14. what's your all-time favourite ship?

i have spent a significant amount of time in the malora fandom, and i feel that illustrates the type of dynamic i Enjoy lol, but honestly idk if i have a Favourite(TM) ship Ever. i don't control what i'll go Nuts over at any given time.

15. what's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

if i *want* to finish it i likely will at some point. if i don't, that means i have lost passion for it and i don't want to finish it anymore.

16. what are your writing strengths?

describing emotional states, pacing, dialogue, Very Specific Character Dynamics, smut, incorporating Motifs(TM) and themes.

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

world-building (horrible at it, also super disinterested in it), describing places accurately and in a detailed manner unless it's Just Vibes, and i feel i'd be horrible at writing any kind of action scene. i am very good at Internal stuff, not so good at External stuff, i feel. i also sometimes get a bit too dash happy lol. just end the sentence gurl.

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

i just find it distracting and unnecessary, and if you don't actually speak that language, i'd say don't bother. it comes out weird. just my opinion though! i think a phrase, a sentence, expression or a single word can be fun, but i wouldn't write a whole dialogue in another language, unless i really wanted to use it for some sort of effect. like a point being made of the character whose pov i was writing not understanding something really important or whatever idk.

19. first fandom you wrote for?

i honestly don't remember. it may have been supergirl?

20. favourite fic you've written?

i can't choooooose. maybe inevitable? i also love particular. and i am quite fond of our little dance and my entire luci/maz cinematic universe haha!! and when the last restraint is gone. i can't pick a favourite child (i can pick Least Favourites though lol).

tagging: @zephyr-is-tired @dianneking @the-frankenman-writes @alder-saan @gerrikellmansbitchboots @notinmyvocab aaaaand my brain is blank, pls consider yourself tagged if you see this and wanna do it!

[avastrasposts]

Twenty questions for fic writers

Thanks for the tag @frenchiereading It's been a while since I did this one!

1. how many works do you have on AO3? 24

2. what's your total AO3 word count? 544,950

3. what fandoms do you write for?

Most of Pedro Pascal's characters, The Boys and LotR.

4. top five fics by kudos

The Pilot and his Girl

Six and a half minutes

A Baker's Dozen

The British Connection

Gun Cleaning

5. do you respond to comments?

Yes, every single one. But I've never had a negative comment. That I would probably just ignore.

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I haven't had a really angsty ending, but The Pilot was angsty throughout and some really dark moments.

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

A Baker's Dozen doesn't really have one definite ending, but each Pedro boy got a sort of happy ending.

8. do you get hate on fics?

Not yet at least, I've been really lucky!

9. do you write smut?

Absolutely!

10. craziest crossover:

I put the Triple Frontier boys in The Last of Us, but I've also put Din in a modern day bakery, and Pero in the same bakery.

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I know of

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, and I think I'd struggle with it

14. all time favorite ship?

I don't have one

15. what's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

The Tack Room, it was fun writing but it got very hard to take it further and I got stuck when they were meant to get intimate. So it kinda died...

16. what are your writing strengths?

I think I'm really good at making people tear up and cry 😅

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

I always struggle when writing dialogue to add more context and reactions or reflection and not just put "he said, she said".

18. thoughts on dialogue in another language?

A phrase here and there, that's explained by the context, or not necessary to translate, I think is fine. But reading whole conversations with a translation in brackets takes me out of the immersion and I'm not really a fan.

19. first fandom you wrote in?

The Boys

20. favorite fic you've written?

The Pilot and his Girl - it was the first big one, I love the idea, I love how it turned out and I still look at it and I can't believe I put 300k words into the world with those two and all the shit they went through as they tried to survive in the apocalypse.

Thanks for the questions! And no pressure tags for @lady-bess @rhoorl @nerdieforpedro @for-a-longlongtime

[juliasdowntonstuff]

19, 23 and 24 :)

19: Fanfic you read again and again

Oh, that's a tough one, because there's a few out there that I find myself gravitating back to time and time again. But if I had to chose, I'd say "Things Given To Tomorrow" by @ohtobealady (this one hurts so good and I am sad it's finished now, because I just went back and read it again whenever new chapters were being published) and "From Paris To Yorkshire" by Countess of Cobert (I don't know their @ on here, of even if they have one). Those two fics are so amazingly well written — don't make me pick one.

23: Age when you started reading fanfic

I believe I was about 13 when I joined Wattpad and read so many (well, few) good and (mostly) bad Harry Potter fanfics, but it is what it is, right? We all have to start somewhere at some point. Having been the fool that I was, I never checked other sites. Like, Fanfic and ao3 have only recently become my best buddies and the difference in quality? Oh myyyy, was I stupid…

24: funniest fandom-related story

Not sure if this is directly fandom-related… But four separate friends of mine who do not know each other have told me years ago to watch Downton Abbey, that I'd enjoy it. I believe this was ca 2015/2016, right when the og series ended. I just didn't think they'd be right. They tried again and again. Why would I ever find myself interested in some soap opera about the British aristocracy? Fast-forward to early 2023 when my mum finally got us Netflix. She binged the show when she was sick and talked about it non-stop, so I caved and watched it finally so that I at least knew what she was talking about. Needless to say… I've been obsessed with it ever since I gave it a shot. My friends have all been right and they do tease me about it very regularly, it's become a running gag for all of us and I am the butt of the joke.

Similarly, my best friend has been nagging me for years to finally join tumblr and I refused every single time. Obviously, I caved at some point last year and I am glad I did. So many lovely people on here!

Moral of the story: I guess I should just start listening to my friends more.

[depoteka]

my ranking and review of all eurovision 2023 songs

(don't expect any intellectual deep dives, i just tried articulating my feelings the best i could but it was hard bc i'm so lukewarm on so many songs. if the reviews don't make sense it's because i wrote them before i used the esc gerbear to sort the places hhh)

37. iceland: diljá - power

it definitely is a song that is competing in eurovision this year and i've listened to it. it doesn't make me feel anything so i don't know what to say. it's a fast pop song but i'm not even vibing to it :( i just don't like it

36. switzerland: remo forrer - watergun

oh switzerland, just because sad boy gjon worked in 2021 doesn't mean you need to keep sending sad boys now... a really boring attempt at an anti-war song

35. cyprus: andrew lambrou - break a broken heart

i don't think i'm really into men singing some heartbreak songs tbh i don't like those howls in the song and the rest sorta sounds imagine dragons-ish to me, the verses at least

34. greece: victor vernicos - what they say

it's cool that he's playing bass in the music video but the song isn't making me feel much. ain't gonna really talk shit about it bc the dude's just 16, i hope he has fun at eurovision

33. italy: marco mengoni - due vite

i like to think italy is my fave eurovision country and then they send a ballad….. i actually watched sanremo (tho i haven't seen any of the nights till the end bc i'm not that strong Yet) and marco wasn't my favourite at all, i was actually surprised how crazy the audience kept going whenever he was performing. of course i can see it getting some good result because it's a classic italian ballad. just not for me

32. ireland: wild youth - we are one

we've got u2 at home/the u2 at home:…. this song has the most generic love love peace peace lyrics ever and whatever unity they are singing about i don't want to be a part of it

31. poland: jann - gladiator blanka - solo

baybeh….it's kinda crazeh… allegedly it was a big radio hit before "winning" the preselections but imma be real with you, i'd never heard it before. it's a harmless pop song without any substance and if it was selected internally i'd be like meh but all the bullshit that went down at our national final makes me mad. i hope we flop hard

30. portugal: mimicat - ai coração

something about it to me feels like early 00s eurovision and i must admit, i don't really like it. though the performance in liverpool might be quite fun

29. romania: theodor andrei - d.g.t. (off and on)

the national final performance of this song is a state of mind. to be frank i feel like the esc fandom is overhating this song, it's not That bad. am i a fan of this song? no. would i like it to see it in the final with the same staging just for laughs? yes

28. israel: noa kirel - unicorn

israel i'm so sorry 0 points……. this song is a disjointed mess to my ears, i think it would've been better if they stuck to just one of the styles they used in this song. all the mentions of unicorns in this song make me cringe. not to mention the "you wanna see me dance?" bit which um, also makes me cringe. no problem with a dance break but why did she have to announce it like that out of nowhere. my favourite part of the song is probably the "u-ni-corn" chant at the very end but other than that eh. this song was written to make the staging crazy and exciting but as a song it doesn't work for me

27. azerbaijan: turalturanx - tell me more

brave of azerbaijan to send two dudes with their song that sound like it teleported itself from an early 00s shitty british movie. that rap part sounds like it's from a corporate song targeted at a young audience to idk make them stop smoking asdfadsf there's something endearing about this song tho

26. uk: mae muller - i wrote a song

i recognize that it's a step in the right direction for the uk and it's a rather fun song but tbh i just don't connect with it. i really liked sam last year and sadly in comparison mae's song seems quite weak to me. though i hope that the (de facto) host country curse doesn't work on the uk this year tho and they don't end up on the very end of the board

25. the netherlands: mia nicolai & dion cooper - burning daylight

ngl i forgot about this song after the first listen. i don't even know what to say about it really, it's just really underwhelming to me. i think i don't actively hate it but i also don't really like it

24. georgia: iru - echo

english grammar rules have left the chat. i'm baffled by the lyrics. but the song overall (along with the video) feels like something from outer space or the future. not in a crazy way tho. i think it has some potential

23. denmark: reiley - breaking my heart

bts are on hiatus so it's his time to shine. no but seriously, there's something so kpopy about this song? i defo like it more than the other "breaking heart" song this year but still. the dude gives me some uncanny valley feeling, especially considering he allegedly pretends to be 5 years younger than he actually is? i love eurovision drama

22. estonia: alika - bridges

we have very few true ballads this year but i think this one's ok!! not a ballad girl myself but i don't mind this one, i like her voice. gives me adele bond theme vibes. i've seen people say alika isn't really selling this song but i saw her national final performance and it seemed fine to me? not much you can really do when you're singing a ballad tbh

21. armenia: brunette - future lover

imma be real with you, i laughed out loud when i first listened to this song because of the lyrics. but i think the song is kinda nice anyway? not a fave but it's nice enough

20. malta: the busker - dance (our own party)

they got sax and in theory i should like it. but i'm not a fan. the whole "ooh i wanna stay at home in my sweater" shtick doesn't work for me. i can see why some people are vibing to this song but it's not doing it for me

19. sweden: loreen - tattoo

i'm a noted hater of sweden at eurovision so don't expect me to say anything nice hhhh the song is rather fine and loreen is fantastic but at the same time i feel like the entire song is just one idea repeated over and over without any sort of variation. her staging at melfest seems quite interesting but overall i don't think this has a potential to win? especially if the people watching in may remember euphoria. tattoo pales in comparison

18. san marino: piqued jacks - like an animal

hear me out………i don't hate this song. yes maybe it's cringe but somehow it keeps getting stuck in my head because it's catchy asdfasdfadsf i'm waiting for the studio version bc it's hard to properly judge it based on the shit sound mix at san marino nf

17. ukraine: tvorchi - heart of steel

was kinda surprised watching vidbir when this won! but then again ukraine keeps giving us different things constantly. i quite like this song but it's also too lowkey for me, nothing to go crazy about. still, it's a vibe

16. norway: alessandra - queen of the kings

ngl when i first heard the song i couldn't understand why people like it so much. now i enjoy it more but i wouldn't say it's a fave of mine? i can see it getting a good result though, there's something very eurovision about it

15. serbia: luke black - samo mi se spava

i feel like technically i should like this song but i….don't. i think the music itself is quite fun but…..the performance makes it seem like it was written for the netflix eurovision movie. something about this guy's voice bothers me. the nail to the coffin for me is the fact that the title of this song sounds close to "samo mi się spawa" in polish which means "it welds on its own for me" instead of "i just wanna sleep" which is what the title actually means 💀 i can't shake this association off and it doesn't help me like this song more

14. slovenia: joker out - carpe diem

at first i wasn't impressed but overall i think it's quite a fun indie/pop rock song!! and it's always nice to hear a native language instead of english

13. lithuania: monika lynkytė - stay

it's a pleasant song and the lithuanian bit is my fave part of the song. overall i don't mind it, but also i'm not crazy about it. sort of disappointed because i really loved sentimentai last year :(

12. belgium: gustaph - because of you

i haven't watched the belgian nf so i don't know what the other options were (that people are so mad about not winning) but i quite like this one!!! it's a bop, makes me wanna dance. i hope gustaph brings some voguing to liverpool

11. moldova: pasha parfeni - soarele şi luna

the only true folk influenced song we have this year, i like it!! it's a banger, it has some sort of flute going on, from what i've seen the lyrics refer to a folk legend? we love it

10. australia: voyager - promise

banger!! pleasantly surprised because i don't think i've ever really really liked any of australia's entries in the past. thought the random high note in the second verse is quite funny to me tbh asdasdfds

9. croatia: let 3 - mama ŠČ!

i think it's more of a whole package where the song doesn't really make full sense without the performance but in some strange way i enjoy the song anyway. the lyrics also are quite understandable in polish which probably also makes it easier for me (and i imagine other slavic people as well) to understand the message without feeling confused about what's going on

8. albania: albina & familja kelmendi - duje

the drama?? i love it. i saw somebody say it feels like a turkish telenovela and they've got a point. it makes me feel something (unlike some other entries) and i appreciate it. plus the instrumental absolutely fucks

7. spain: blanca paloma - eaea

when i first heard the song i didn't understand it at all. i feel like i still don't fully Get it but there's something so fascinating about it to me that i can't stop thinking about it. i'm so confused? but i think it means i enjoy it. definitely something i like more than slomo last year

6. germany: lord of the lost - blood & glitter

yell heah!! germany finally sending something worthwhile. i keep listening to this song on loop, i wanna twerk to it. love the combo of metal AND glitter <3

5. france: la zarra - évidemment

i already liked it at first listen and it keeps growing on me! not a big fan of chanson type of songs but this one is a banger + her look in the music video is gorgeous, i hope she keeps it for liverpool

4. czechia: vesna - my sister's crown

liked it before it was chosen at czechia's national final and was happy when they won but i kinda got bored of it after a month or so? i still think it's a good song (even tho i know people have some issues with it) and i love the mix of three different slavic languages. i think with the right staging they can win me back

3. latvia: sudden lights - aijā

OK OK… when i first heard it i was like ok. but then one evening i randomly found myself watching the moldovan nf and they were guests there and when they played their song in this shitty studio i was like omg it's actually really good?? obsessed with the lullaby bit at the end. i hope to god they qualify, they need to bring justice to latvia after citi zeni's nq last year

2. austria: teya & salena - who the hell is edgar?

what a surprise?? adored it at first listen. it both manages to be a bop while also trying to say something. i loved in corpore sano last year, i love who the hell is edgar this year

1. finland: käärijä - cha cha cha

what can i say......i usually don't really listen to any of the national final songs and just wait for the winner of each one but the thumbnail for cha cha cha music video on yt intrigued me so i watched it. and immediately i wanted käärijä to win eurovision weeks before he even won the finnish nf. the song is sooo addictive and his entire look/performance is hypnotizing. i know he's a favourite to win rn but if he somehow flops in may i'm gonna be really really sad. come on, it's crazy it's party. i think this finnish win would be a really fitting addition to lordi's win in 2006

[tweecrushconfessions]

NEVER share a username w/your other socials for fandom stuff. You never know who might find your sexyman stash

https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=783409

Hey, hi, hello, I'm Lev. This, my friends, is the tale of the Great Sexyman Disaster of 2023. Today, in the spirit of teenage rebellion and crushing embarrassment, I come bearing a tale that I’m pretty sure will make you laugh your socks off (while I curl up in a corner and question all my life choices).

So yesterday, there I was, hanging out with Mr. T (who was named Mr. T in a previous blog post about the toilet saga). We're just chilling, when suddenly, like a hiccup, I blurted out, "Hey, I have a Tumblr account!"

Alarm bells should have gone off at that point. I should have heard the Jaws theme playing in the background. But no, I was blissfully unaware of the impending disaster.

I quickly tried to cover up my blunder with a hasty, "Nuh huh, don't search it up." But,  the damage was done. Mr. T, being the ever-curious (read: nosy) dude he is, took it as a challenge. He was on his search bar faster than a cat on a laser pointer.

Now, you might be thinking, "Lev, what's the big deal? It's just your Tumblr." Oh, how I wish that was the case. You see, my Tumblr username is the same as my other socials, and my likes were set to public. Cue the horror movie soundtrack.

Enter the sexyman stash.

Okay, okay, don't judge. I know you're sitting there with your judgy face on. But hear me out. I'm talking about stumbling upon a Onceler fanfic that I liked. Yes, you read that right. It started as a "joke," but I actually found one that was beautifully written. It was like a car crash - so horrifying, yet so mesmerizing.

And then there was this hot humanized fanart of Wheatley from my favorite fanfic, Blue Sky. Now, I get it. Wheatley is a circular robot with a British accent. But this fanart, guys. It was chef's kiss. I tried to play it off as ironic, but let's be honest, those likes painted a pretty clear picture. If you don't know who he is, he's this guy.

Try explaining that to a guy.

In my defense, I did my best to make it seem ironic, but my likes spoke louder than my mumbled explanations.

All of this would've been okay, we could laugh it off if I were talking to a girl. We'd probably bond over our shared weirdness. But nope, I was talking to a dude. And let me tell you, I've had less embarrassing conversations with my dentist while his hands were inside my mouth.

So, there I was, bashing my head against my desk, mentally of course, because we can't afford another trip to the school nurse. I replayed the disaster in my head at least five times during English alone - and yes, it was just as horrifying each time.

After all the chaos, I had to buckle down and give my Tumblr a total makeover - new profile picture, new banner, new username. I've been praying to all the internet gods that my old username fades from Mr. T's search history, hopefully faster than my dignity did. If anyone has any tips on how to erase yourself from someone's internet memory, hit me up. Seriously. I'm desperate.

So, here's the moral of this story, guys: always make a separate username for risky stuff. You never know when your secret sexyman stash might be revealed.

Until next time, this is Lev, signing off from another cringe-worthy adventure. Remember, you're never too cool for a separate, secret username. Trust me on this one, okay?

[dean-winchester-is-a-warrior]

In No Mood for Games

This fic is part of @all-alone-he-turns-to-stone’s “Aud’s Writing Challenge” aka “The Make Me Horny Challenge”. This is my second entry in this very fun, very hot challenge! Hope you enjoy this one too, Audrey! 😉

It will also cover two of my spaces on my bingo card for @anyfandomkinkbingo

Any Fandom Kink Squares Filled:

Breath Play & Hair Pulling

Pairing: Dean x fem!reader

Word Count: 2,320

Summary: Y/N has wanted him for weeks, but he's ignored her. But her timing might be right tonight.

Warnings: Smut. All Smut. Not even really PWP, there's pretty much no plot here. Dom!Deanmon. Demon!Dean being pretty savage. Dirty talk. Demeaning language. Spanking (just a bit). Fingering. Face fucking. Cumshot (facial). Hair pulling. Breath play.

A/N: Since I can’t include the hot af gif that the beautiful Audrey sent me for this challenge, I have included a gif that relates slightly to this story, namely a gif of Demon!Dean.

But the parts of the fic that directly describe the naughty gif Audrey sent will be in italics.

A/N 2: So this is the first time I've ever written Demon!Dean, and the first time I've ever written anything as dark as this. Dean is not sweet here in any way, he's all Dom!Deanmon, so be warned. Also, please be kind (you always are!) since I've never tried something quite like this before. 😬👀

Rating: 18+ Explicit. Read the warnings!

Created for @anyfandomkinkbingo

Y/N wasn't really sure how she'd ended up here, it had all happened so suddenly and so abruptly. But she definitely didn't want to be anywhere else.

She had been watching him tonight when he walked angrily down the stairs that led from the hotel rooms above. But then, she was always watching him.

The little blonde waitress he'd been screwing around with for a while had come down twenty minutes before him, obviously upset. She left The Black Spur minutes after that.

Now the man Y/N had been quietly stalking for the past two weeks was sitting at the bar and knocking back shots like they were water.

Maybe tonight was her chance.

She had no idea who he was, or why she was so drawn to him. But from the moment he and the short British guy had come in through the doors together weeks ago, she'd wanted him. Desperately.

She'd tried to get his attention a few times, but he never took the bait. She'd sidled up close to him at the bar a couple of times, she'd sent him a drink, she'd worn every low cut top and tight, tiny skirt she owned trying to entice him, but no dice.

Tonight she wore a skin tight, mostly see through white top and a short, pink, flippy skirt that twirled enticingly around the tops of her thighs.

She was determined to get him tonight. She had wet dreams about him night after night, and she felt like if she didn't fuck him, he might haunt her dreams forever.

She took the absence of the blonde waitress as a sign that now was the time to take matters a step further and try initiating an actual conversation with him.

With that as a plan, she approached him at the bar and sat down beside him. As he had every other night, he ignored her completely. She swallowed hard and barreled ahead anyway.

"Looks like you're having a rough night."

The man threw his next shot back and slammed the glass down on the bar, signaling for another. When he still ignored her, she decided to go all in; she laid her hand on his forearm.

The muscles under her hand tensed and the man slowly turned his head, finally making eye contact with her. What she saw in their forest green depths made her shiver. There was something so dark and dangerous there, so beautifully terrifying.

"Excuse me?" He asked, his deep voice intoxicating even in two words. His expression showed mostly disdain, but something in her wouldn't let her back down.

"I was just saying it looked like you were having a rough night."

The man swept his gaze up and down her body, coming back to rest on her face.

"So?" he asked.

"So," Y/N cleared her throat. "I was wondering if you wanted to talk about it."

The man looked at her for nearly a full minute, his eyes once again scanning her body, lingering over some parts, and brushing past others. It was as though he was studying her, dissecting her. It was incredibly unnerving and unbelievably hot.

Finally he licked his lips, an action that had Y/N's panties flooded again. He shook his head.

"No, I don't wanna talk. I wanna fuck."

Y/N's jaw dropped open and her stomach muscles and core muscles tightened.

He lifted his chin toward her and spoke in a nonchalant manner. "Can I fuck you?"

Y/N floundered, her mouth opening and closing several times.

He turned to face her completely and stared into her eyes so deeply, she felt like she'd already been stripped naked by him.

"I don't wanna play the game. I just wanna fuck someone. Hard. So, is that gonna be you, yes or no?"

Y/N snapped her jaw shut and nodded. Without a second's hesitation, he grabbed her hand roughly and pulled her out the door.

He walked very fast and Y/N had a hard time keeping up, but he had a vice-like grip on her wrist and she somehow knew that if she fell, he'd just drag her along behind him. So, she ran quickly, glad she'd worn a pair of pink sneakers rather than heels.

After about a block they reached an empty parking garage. He pulled her after him, towards the end of the lot, where a concrete brick wall stood.

As they reached their destination, he pulled her forward and gave her a slight shove toward the wall.

"Turn around and put your hands on the wall."

When Y/N stood slightly dazed for a moment, he grabbed her by the arm and pulled her close to him. Up close he was even more intoxicating, his scent was like a drug and she felt her head swim a little as she looked up into his perfect face.

Perfect even with the sneer that now covered it. "I've seen you, you know. Watching me, drooling over me. I know how hot you are for me." He walked her backwards until he had her pressed up against the cold stone.

He stuck his hand up under her skirt and ran his fingers over her soaked panties. "I know how badly you want me to fuck you. Like a bitch in heat." He fisted his left hand in her hair and yanked it back, causing Y/N to yelp. "So, obey, bitch."

Y/N felt the slick pooling in her panties, and all she could do was nod at him, not able to contradict a single thing he said. She did want him so desperately, she was willing to let him do whatever he wanted to her.

He released her with another small shove.

"Turn. Around." He said, each word precise.

Y/N turned and placed her palms flat on the wall, her breathing shallow and rapid. She felt him come up behind her and grab hold of her hips, slamming her back against the hard cock she could feel through her skirt and his jeans.

His lips fluttered against her neck as he whispered to her. "Are you gonna take this cock? Like a good little whore?"

Y/N whimpered and nodded.

"Say it." he demanded.

"Yes. I'll take your cock. Please." Y/N begged as she pushed her ass back against him. But he just raised her skirt easily and landed a hard slap to her ass.

"Don't get ahead of yourself, whore. Who owns you?" His palm came down again, stinging and shooting heat straight to her core.

Y/N was so desperate for him to touch her, to rub his fingers along her aching cunt, to have him fill her completely with the huge cock she could feel pressed against her, she could barely even understand what he was asking her.

But another hard slap brought enough sharp pain that Y/N was able to form an answer. "You. You own me."

"That's right. You're my good little whore, aren't you?"

Y/N nodded and he slapped the other cheek, hard and heavy. "Say, it bitch! Tell me you're my good little whore."

Y/N sucked in a breath. "I'm a good little whore." Another crack from his massive palm made her amend her words. "I mean, I'm your good little whore."

He ran both his hands over her burning ass cheeks. "That's my good slut. You will obey what I tell you, do you understand?"

Y/N nodded and then quickly answered. "Yes, I understand."

"Good."

At that he grabbed hold of her hips and pulled them back, while pressing his hand into the middle of her back, forcing her to bend, her ass sticking out.

He pushed her flimsy skirt up and merely pushed her thong aside as he drove two fingers into her. Y/N screamed out her pleasure at finally feeling him inside her. "Oh, god! Please, fuck - more, more!"

He pulled his fingers out. "Shut up, slut. You'll take what I give you and you'll take it quietly, you understand?"

Y/N nodded. "Yes, yes. I'm sorry, please?"

He kicked her feet apart and pushed three fingers into her body. "Fuck me. My little slut," he said, his voice darkly pleased. "you're dripping onto my hand. Do you know who does that? Greedy little whores."

He crooked his fingers inside her and Y/N bit down on her lip trying desperately not to scream as he pressed repeatedly on the soft spongy spot inside her.

She couldn't contain a deep, harsh moan as her orgasm overtook her. She gritted her teeth, trying hard not to scream and disobey him. But then just as she was coming down he pressed against the spot again, while his thumb circled her clit over and over and her second orgasm hit and she couldn't help the scream that issued from her throat.

His right hand came up and wrapped around her throat, strangling off the scream.

"If you can't shut up, I'll make you shut up."

She felt him line himself up at her entrance before he slammed into her so hard, she lurched forward into the wall, popping him out of her cunt.

He came up right behind her, and rammed himself back in. Bending his knees slightly, he pushed in and out of her quickly, keeping himself pressed up tight against her ass and not pulling out very far before slamming himself home, rocking her body in a continuous, hard and fast rhythm.

He wrapped his left hand further up her throat and squeezed with both hands. Y/N could feel her climax building as the lack of oxygen made dark spots begin to move around the edges of her vision.

Just as she was sure she was going to pass out, he let go and grabbed hold of her hips, pulling out and slamming into her so hard, it felt like he was ripping her apart. The harshness of his thrusts combined with the oxygen returning in a rush to her lungs and brain, gave Y/N the biggest and longest orgasm she'd ever experienced.

She screamed again, and knew she'd pay for it, but she couldn't have stopped it.

As she came down from the high, he spun her around to face him and then pushed her down on her knees. She landed hard on the concrete and felt it scrape her skin.

But she didn't even have time to gasp because the moment her knees hit the ground, he was prying open her jaw and ramming his cock down her throat.

She gagged on it again and again. But he was merciless, he held her head in both his massive hands and wouldn't let her move away.

"Maybe this will shut you up. Huh? Can't talk around my cock in your mouth, can you, bitch?"

Y/N felt the saliva and tears dripping down her cheeks as he pressed deep down the back of her throat, holding her face tight to the base of his cock. Again as her vision began to waver, he pulled out and Y/N coughed and choked as ropey strings of spit and precum kept her mouth connected to his dick.

She pulled in gulping breaths before he pushed himself back in, hitting the back of her throat again and pulling all the way out, slowly.

Y/N swallowed quickly, loving the taste of his saltiness on her tongue. He moved in and out of her mouth a half dozen more times, smoothly and slowly before he pulled out completely.

He twisted her hair in his fist again and pulled it hard, arching her neck and forcing her head back. He smacked his dick against her cheek and then tapped it against her lips.

"Open your mouth, whore. This is what you've been wanting. Take it."

He pumped his cock twice and ropes of hot cum shot across her face, falling into her mouth, where she swallowed it up quickly, licking it from her lips as he yanked her head back again while he pumped his cock with his other hand, his hips bucking, balls slapping against her chin.

With a final groan and a shudder, he let go of Y/N's hair and stepped back.

As she kneeled there, covered in his cum, still shuddering from her own incredible climax, he put his cock back in his pants and pulled them back up over his ass, which was as far as he'd undressed.

Unsure of what else to do, and already missing the fullness of his cock inside her, Y/N stood up and tried to wipe her face off with her shirt the best she could.

He started to walk away and she called out to him.

"Wait! I don't even know your name."

He walked back to her, pushing into her personal space until she was pressed up against the wall again.

His eyes sparkled bright green above her before they blinked black for just a second. Y/N gasped, already sure that it had just been a trick of the dim light of the garage.

"The name is Dean. And it's too bad I didn't pay attention to you till tonight. We could have been having weeks of fun." He sighed. "But now, I gotta leave."

He pressed his plump, soft lips against her neck for a moment before he opened his mouth and sunk his teeth into her skin hard enough that she gasped in pain and could feel a little blood trickle down, staining her white shirt.

Her inner walls clenched at the pain and pleasure his mouth was bringing her. He pulled back and grinned at her expression of ecstasy.

His voice was all gravel and wickedness. "Obviously, I picked the wrong girl to fuck at The Black Spur." With that he patted her cheek and disappeared into the darkness.

Y/N's dreams were never free of the green-eyed man named Dean, and his black-eyed sins. The heat and pleasure of him haunted her all the rest of her days.

And she wouldn't have traded a moment of it.

@akshi8278, @all-alone-he-turns-to-stone @foxyjwls007, @b3autyfuldisast3r, @myloversgone, @kazsrm67, @fangirlxwrites67, @kickingitwithkirk, @charred-angelwings, @hopefuldreamers-world, @siospins, @deanwanddamons @deandreamernp, @my-sherlock221b, @jensensgotyoudean @lyarr24, @snowlovespie, @stixnstripesworld, @thoughts-and-funnies, @magssteenkamp, @norman1967, @princessmisery666, @mishkatelwarriorgoddess

Masterlist Tag Lists

[compo67]

When you get a chance to watch the unnamed thing, will you tell us what you think? Yours are some of the only fandom opinions I care about tbqh.

Hi Anon!

Well, in my sickness, I've had a chance to catch up on TV things, since I've been too ill to be at my laptop. (I don't watch anything on my laptop, I only use it to write.) I caught up with the Great British Bake Off (GBBO) and was horrified to see what Paul Hollywood thinks s'mores are. Abdul was the only one who got it right--s'mores are supposed to be messy, gooey monstrosities and if they're not? You're not making them right.

Onward though, below the cut. (Spoiler/TLDR: I'm not a fan of TW.)

Then I got caught up on Walker Independence, because I love a good Western and I wanted to see what it's about. I don't watch Walker just because I'm not interested in modern-day law enforcement shows. But I can and do love a historical drama, especially if it's done right. WIndy is everything I've wanted so far and more. I love the chemistry between Abby and Kate (eee!), between Abby and Hoyt (ha!), and Abby and Calian (yes!).

I love love love the fact that people of color have representation on and off screen in so many different ways.

There are so many engaging storylines and I just... mwah. Chef's kiss.

There's intrigue, suspense, grief, comedy, and none of it feels forced. I really feel for Abby as she tries to navigate new emotional and physical places she had never anticipated. And I love that everyone has their own backstories that unfold in a very natural way.

WIndy makes me wish I had cable TV so I could watch it when it airs and not the day after on the CW app. It makes me want to have a Twitter account just so I can gush about it there!

So, anon, if you haven't watched WIndy, I very much recommend it.

What I don't recommend is The Winchesters.

It really takes a lot for me to catch up on TV. I'd much rather watch Jurassic Park for the 10000th time or put on Pride & Prejudice in the background and knit or write. But since I've been bed/room-bound for almost... six days now, well. It was a good time to dust off the remote and crack open the TV.

I also started watching AMC's Interview with the Vampire, which is just AMAZING. Oh my goodness, it's gorgeously shot and written. The chemistry between Louis and Lestat! Scorching!

I watched all of that before I landed back onto The Winchesters. I watched TW the first week it came out. But I didn't really remember any of it, so I rewatched the pilot this week. Well. Let me tell you. I had regrets.

No matter how I try to slice it, it just doesn't feel authentic. It doesn't feel authentic to its time period, to its characters, or to its story. I don't see chemistry between the leads or their supporting characters. We know that John and Mary both live well beyond this time period, so there's no sense of urgency or fear that one of them might die. John is a little too sweet, too naive, too trusting for someone just coming home from a major war. And Mary? I can't even begin to express how much I dislike what they've done to her character. I really *hate* storylines where the female lead pretends not to be interested in a guy but then she's actually interested but not but no really.

I just don't see either actor as being John or Mary. That's not their fault, they're good actors, I'm just not sold. I'm far too entrenched in what SPN already sold me. I didn't need to be sold anything else.

Anyway. I also hate what they did with the side characters, whose names I can't remember. I wasn't invested at all from the beginning or the end. I found the Latinx character to be incredibly off-putting. Like they tried too hard to make him sassy. He came off cringe instead.

The demons, the missing fathers, the monster of the week, none of it hooked me.

I wasn't expecting to like it, but I wasn't expecting to hate it this much either. Nothing stuck with me except the negative takeaways. I didn't like this, that, and the other. I can't really tell you anything positive. Even the music wasn't memorable for me. And just because you have representation on screen doesn't mean it's necessarily quality representation.

TW undermines everything about SPN. That's just the heart of it for me.

Did I go back and watch another episode? Nope. I spent my time watching WIndy and IwtV instead. Absolutely no regrets there.

There's nothing to rally behind TW for me. I frankly don't care if John or Mary succeed because, well, I already know how it ends. Instead of trusting me, the viewer, to flesh out the in-between, I'm having it shoved at me and told it's canon now. I can't give them props for attempting to tackle PTSD, because even that didn't feel genuine. I feel like they picked the wrong time period to tell a story they're capable of telling.

So, those are my thoughts and feels about TW and a whole other host of things. I will continue to watch WIndy and GBBO every week. I still need to finish catching up on IwtV. But I will not spend more time on TW.

Thank you, anon. It felt good to put all of this into words.

-Cal

[doeeyeseddie]

rules: check your stats on ao3 by going to your dashboard and clicking through to statistics

tagged by @oatflatwhite thank you liz for this opportunity to expose myself, none of you needed to know how much rpf i've written but i guess i'll tell you anyway

amount of works posted: 72

total word count: 725 752

longest fic: you're my road walking me home (1d, 68k words)

shortest fic: let's get carried away (911, 426 words)

fic with the most kudos: good love grown (911, 1646 kudos)

fic with the most bookmarks: darker days, brighter endings (911, 539 bookmarks)

fic with the most comment threads: darker days, brighter endings (911, 146 comment threads)

total amount of kudos: 23 799

total amount of bookmarks: 5106

total amount of comment threads: 1462

fandoms written for: on ao3 that'd be (with some overlap) one direction (42), 911 (28), shawn mendes (3), bcc radio 1 rpf (2), british actor rpf (1), skam norway (1), all for the game (1), sam smith (1)

fests written for: ziall fic exchange 1, ziall fic exchange 2, 1d big bang 2015, 1d break fic exchange (2x), grimmy appreciation fest, eddie diaz week 2021, 911 holiday gift exchange 2021

pairings written for: ziall (zayn/niall, 1d), hendes (niall/shawn mendes), horshaw (niall/nick grimshaw), niall/tom holland, niall/sam smith, niall/omc, lilo (liam/louis, 1d), evak (skam), andreil (aftg), buddie (911)

favourite fic written 2021: darker days, brighter endings (buddie)

goals for 2022: challenge myself a bit more and try writing things out of my comfort zone (maybe even some smut again) or things i've never tried before

idk who to tag so if you want to share - you're tagged!

[marzipanandminutiae]

Okay, I've been living for the Lucille Sharpe appreciation society, so:

a) Do you think that a happy ending is even possible for the CP triad?

b) If so, HOW? Because barring any dramatic & ooc personality changes I feel like that would be... er, not easy

c) (Do you have ot3 fic recs 🥺)

(To be clear, I am also in the Edith Cushing Appreciation Society. They're both amazing and I want good things for them. Also for them to kiss.)

A. I...can suspend disbelief enough in fanfic to imagine it. In the strictest possible interpretation of canon, I doubt it. I do think the hypotenuse pairing- Edith/Lucille -has more canon support than one might think, given that JChas played Lucille as queer, and Alan warns Edith about her fascination with "the Sharpes," not just Thomas. If a lot of things were different, maybe.

But like. Even if Edith "Gothic Novelist With Secret Dark Side" Cushing could find it in her heart to be down with coping-mechanism incest (and that's honestly less of a stretch for her character than one might initially think, in my mind), the wife murders are going to be a problem. Especially since they also tried to murder her, and killed her father, and lied to her, and gaslighted her, and shoved her off a balcony- there's just too much water under the bridge now.

B. Basically, if the Sharpes hadn't murdered a bunch of innocent women + Carter and tried to kill Edith, I think it could be possible even if you kept things totally canon otherwise.

In fanfic, the usual way is to have Edith be a bit more amoral than she seems in canon. I say "seems," because you can still write things that are easy to imagine the character saying/doing even if they're technically OOC.

Edith is an interesting character because, while she's a generally good person and kind to others, she's not without an edge to her personality. She can be every bit as stubborn, resourceful, and willing to dirty her hands as Lucille is, when the chips are down. And even in Buffalo, she's pretty quick to pass judgment on the other people around her if she considers them inferior. I don't think she WOULD make peace with multiple cold-blooded murders and shack up with incestuous serial killers, in canon. But I think it's easy to imagine a version of her that might.

Or it's a total AU where the situation is completely different.

Or Edith is varying degrees of drugged/brainwashed and doesn't know about the murders. I've read and enjoyed all three flavors.

Interestingly, you don't see a lot of "the Sharpes work on their issues and get better" fics. Possibly because that takes away half the appeal of exploring messy, unhealthy, transgressive relationships in a safe fictional setting. Which is mostly what brings people to the CPeak fandom.

(It's a very understanding fandom by necessity- if antis have ever found it, they didn't stick around long. I've seen things that are past my limit even for dark!fic, but I just read the tags and keep scrolling.)

C. I do have recs, yes! Normally I'm not big on polyshipping (or, you know, incest), but in this specific case, I'm very down for the OT3 situation.

Of Light and Shade, by xahra99 (no major non-canon content warnings)

AU. Edith, Lucille and Thomas visit Venice, and somebody dies. Written for the prompt 'they should have traveled around Europe taking turns to be the black widow.'

Lullaby and Variations by kvisan (no major non-canon content warnings)

A traditional English lullaby, arranged in the romantic style for viola and piano, by Lady Lucille Sharpe in collaboration with Lady Edith Sharpe.

For Thomas, beloved of us both.

Strike Release orphaned (explicit. CW for dubcon and drugging, as well as the usual canon stuff)

The hands of a clock are funny things, they swing back before they go forth. Stories, too, swing back and forth. In this one, you do not kill the girl.

You keep her.

What Desire Will Make Foolish People Do by Heather (spicy, but only as far as second base. no major non-canon content warnings. one of the few "Allerdale Hall is destroyed" fics I actually like)

What if Edith didn't like tea?

we too (three) could be glorious by Lise (explicit. no major non-canon content warnings)

Lucille makes a different choice, when it comes to Edith Cushing. They leave Allerdale Hall behind, but without an anchor Lucille thinks she might drift away.

Thomas and Edith will provide that anchor.

the whole is greater by marypsue (another one that involves some touching that verges on explicit, but doesn't quite get all the way there. CW for drugging and VERY dubious consent, as well as the usual canon stuff)

“She called us monsters,” Lucille says, breaking the rhythm with a moment of contemplative silence.

Thomas shakes his head. A single stray curl falls away from his face, and Edith wishes she didn’t feel compelled to reach up and tuck it back behind his ear. “We don’t know if she ever knew how right she was.”

mother, we are well by rosedamask (explicit. no major non-canon content warnings)

Edith wondered, then, what a black-breathed beware could ever have meant to her. She could have been the daughter who heard her mother’s warning, or the daughter who heeded it.

The Cherry Hung With Snow by Hermaline75 (explicit. also 84 chapters and still going. content warnings for drugging, descriptions of past child sexual abuse, and reproductive coercion, as well as the usual canon stuff. not one I recommend unreservedly, since it's not my usual thing and has some characterization I disagree with. but...somehow it turned into my comfort fic. the only excuse I can offer for that is that the writing is excellent)

Fresh out of her journalism major, Edith is shocked when she gets the job of a lifetime, following British brother/sister band Crimson Peak on their epic tour to break America, even if it means temporarily leaving her life behind.

But eccentricity is one thing. The Sharpes may be quite another.

[whocalledhimannux]

Queen’s Thief Appreciation Week: Fancasts

These aren't quite fancasts--I really only know actors from specific roles and then think "oh well that role is too different from this one for xyz reasons." BUT three times in the last few years I've thought there was a really striking similarity between characters in a TV show and Queen's Thief characters, and this is a list of them, with gifs and lightly-editied-for-universe-appropriateness-quotes.

Kamet - Nasir (Pana Hema Taylor), Spartacus: Vengeance and War of the Damned. "Freedom was not his to give! I was secretary to a powerful man. I had position and respect!"

Spartacus was my first main tumblr fandom, and to this day I still haven't surpassed the number of fics I've written for Spartacus for any fandom. Like, not even close. And my sense of both Kamet and Nasir as people is so strong and I don't think they could ever be confused for each other, but they do have a lot of surface-level similarities: both Middle Eastern slaves from childhood, with younger brothers, in classical-inspired works. Both resentful of being freed due to the power they wielded as slaves--both having name conundrums post-freedom (Kamet retaining his birth name and adding a surname, Nasir reverting from his Roman-given name to his birth name), and both ultimately falling in love with a tall foreign soldier who is known for punching people.

Relius - Eli Gold (Alan Cumming), The Good Wife. "This isn't ethics class. We're here to win."

I am full on claiming Eli Gold as modern AU Relius. Ruthless political operator, friend to a brunette who puts on a cold face to the world, distinguished grey patches at the temples, tries to leave the service of his political candidate at one point because he's "damaged goods," played by a bisexual actor, Jewish. It's all there.

Irene - Mary Crawley (Michelle Dockery), Downton Abbey. "Haven't you heard? I don't have a heart. Everybody knows that."

There aren't a lot of actual similarities between the characters in this one, but there's just something about the way Michelle Dockery speaks and moves as Mary that reads very Irene to me. Very cold, with a lot of passion beneath the surface, putting on a polite but droll facade. I was binging Downton Abbey while doing my pre-RotT reread of the series and kept reading Irene and Irene only with a British accent, and it was entirely due to this character. And yes, some of the classics-inspired 1920s fashion choices definitely helped.