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imaginespazzi · 4 months ago

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Part 8: The Toxic In Intoxication

Masterlist - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 9 - Part 10 - Part 11 - Part 12

Your mouth is poison (your mouth is wine)

(In which an all over the place writer, writes something that's a little bit all over the place)

Pairing: Paige Bueckers X Azzi Fudd

Themes: Angst, Fluff, Jealousy,

Words: 9.0K

TW: Swearing, a little bit of violence, mentions of blood, men being men

A/N: Hi lovelies :) Unfortunately, as I've been warning y'all for a while, the deadline did finally slip through my fingers. However I'm hoping y'all will forgive me for it because I am only one day late and this chapter is quite long. I do wanna warn y'all in advance that there won't be a chapter next week because I am going on vacation and my laptop is staying very, very far away from me. There's a lot going on in this chapter and I'm not sure how I feel about the whole thing but I'm hoping y'all will enjoy it anyways. I did actually edit this time but who knows how successful that was, so please let me know about typos/mistakes. As always, feel free to tell me about what you liked, what you disliked and anything you'd like to see going forward. Have a lovely rest of your weeks my loves <3

August 2025

Azzi Fudd is a spectacular liar. She excels at keeping up a façade of yes everything is perfectly fine in front of her friends and family. She’s quite good at tricking people she can barely stand into thinking oh yes i’m totally enjoying this conversation. But the person Azzi lies the most to, is without a doubt herself. As she steps out of the car into the hot Indiana air, bustling with noises from the growing crowd inside, Azzi internally repeats a lie to herself again: she did not show up to all-star weekend for a glimpse of her ex girlfriend. She’s here, as per Colleen’s managerial advice, to build connections, to further her career and to expand on opportunities in the basketball world. The fact that Paige Bueckers, who Azzi hasn’t seen in three months -the longest period of time they’d spent apart since she’d started at UConn- is definitely also going to be attending tonight’s party, is merely a happenstance.

Taking a deep breath, Azzi puts one kitten heeled foot in front of the other, trying to ignore her heightened nerves. This isn’t her preferred scene by any means. She’d much rather be back in her hotel room, curled on her couch with a book and a pint of ice cream. It’s not that Azzi doesn’t like parties; she has her fair share of fun at Ted’s, but it’s the unfamiliarity of the environment and the lack of that once ever present comforting hand that used to tap out i’m here for you against the back of her own at big events like these, that has her yearning to crawl back into the car and hide away.

“Azzi?” a familiar voice calls from behind her and Azzi lets out a sigh of relief as she sees Aaliyah walking towards her with a large welcoming grin, “Azeray!”

“Li-Li. Thank god you’re here,” Azzi reaches up to hug her former teammate, mentally thanking whatever god was looking out for her. She’d dreaded walking in by herself and now she wouldn’t have to. Really she probably should probably send Coach a ‘thank you’ text for having so many alumni in the league that there was bound to be a Husky she could attach herself to for the night.

“I’m glad to see you too Az,” Aaliyah says, pulling away and looking at Azzi with a semi-concerned look, “but you seem a little extra relieved to see me? You good dude?”

“Just- just a little nervous,” Azzi admits, shuffling her feet uneasily.

Realization dawns on Aaliyah’s face, “cause of Paige?”

“No you know I don’t like big unfamiliar places,” Azzi sighs when Aaliayh gives her a pointed look, “but I guess maybe- maybe a little cause of Paige.”

The Mystics forward shakes her head before linking her arms through Azzi’s, “I swear, I leave y’all for one year and everything implodes-," she bites her tongue, "shit was that insensitive?”

“No,” Azzi grimaces, “that’s pretty much exactly what happened.”

Something hard coils in her stomach at Aaliyah’s words. The truth is they’d been fine. Better than fine even. And then suddenly Azzi was lighting a box of matches she hadn’t even known she was holding and her whole world was on fire; an implosion of everything Azzi had once thought inflammable. She’d burned her hands trying to rescue them and all she has to show for it are invisible red hot pustules that refuse to heal. But perhaps, she thinks, that’s what a pyromaniac like her had deserved.

Azzi cowers under the flashing lights of the cameras, clinging tighter to Aaliyah’s arm as the two of them make their way onto the orange carpet, the cameramen immediately swinging their devices to capture the college basketball player more than likely to be the number one pick in next year’s WNBA draft. She feels herself tense under their piercing gaze, anchored only by Aaliyah's strong and steady presence next to her. And as they pose for the cameras, she’s thankful for her former teammate’s company but she can’t shake the feeling that it should have been someone else.

“And look who we have here,” Lexie Brown says excitedly as the two of them approach the interviewer, “y’all Huskies clean up nice.”

“We try, we try,” Aaliyah answers charismatically, doing a little hair flip to match her tone.

“Aaliyah, it's your first all-star nod, how are you feeling?”

“I feel great, you know it’s always good to see yourself being acknowledged and being an all-star has always been a goal of mine. So, I hope it’s the first of many and I’m just hoping my team gets the W tomorrow,” Aaliyah answers diplomatically.

Lexie turns to Azzi, “I bet you’re really proud of her. I mean you’ve got a couple of teammates who are first-time all stars between Aaliyah and Paige. You’ve gotta be feeling pretty proud of them”

“Y-yeah I mean,” Azzi clears her throat, trying not to flinch at the mention of Paige’s name, “It’s been- it’s been really exciting to watch them and I’m extremely proud-”

She’s cut off by the sound of excited chatter filling up the air and Azzi doesn’t have to turn around to know who’s just entered the premises. Not when she has a whole separate sensory system that flares up just for her. Azzi’s skin prickles as she registers the sound of familiar peals of laughter echoing from the orange carpet. She digs her nails into the palm of her hand, forcing herself not to turn around.

“Speak of the devil,” Lexie says goodnaturedly, getting her hand ready to beckon the blonde over and Azzi feels panic suffocate her lungs, not quite ready to face Paige yet.

“Oh I don’t think-” Aaliyah tries to cut in, glancing worriedly at her friend but it’s too late.

“Paige,” Lexie calls out, beaming over Azzi’s head at the Dallas Wings’ newest star point guard.

The world seems to move in slow motion as Azzi feels Paige getting closer and closer to her. She smells the faint scent of fresh mint weaved with a hint of citrus first. Then she hears the sound of Paige’s breathing, perfectly even to anybody else but Azzi can hear the staggered harshness hidden beneath it. And as the blonde passes over her to settle on Lexi’s other side, she feels Paige’s arm brush against her own and it hurts to breathe. The contact lasts for a second but Azzi swears it’ll last forever, tattooing itself on her bicep as a wretched reminder of a touch she’s no longer allowed to crave.

It’s funny, there’s a hurricane swirling between them and Paige can barely look at Azzi, keeping her eyes firmly on Lexie and Aaliyah as she greets the trio. And yet, there’s a sense of calm -of peace- that seems to wash over Azzi just by having Paige near her again. The older woman seems to possess some sort of magical power that weaves itself into Azzi’s nervous system, soothing away her frazzled nerves with an unspoken promise of and if you give me the chance i’ll make it all okay.

Despite the hectic transition from a full college season to a frantic W season, Paige looks ethereal as always. Her two piece cropped vest top and straight fitted pants match the color of her eyes and a silver chain dangles across her chest. Two strands of blonde hair hide her signature diamond studs, the rest of it pulled back into a slightly messy bun. Azzi gulps at the way the vest top parts right above her midriff, Paige’s toned abs playing peek-a-boo behind it. She lets her eyes roam over Paige’s exposed arms, trying to ignore memories of how they used to go taut under her touch, down to the blonde’s bare fingers and she feels her heart constrict. No rings. It feels wrong. But then again, nothing has felt right for three months.

“Azzi,” Aaliyah hisses and Azzi snaps out of her thoughts, realizing she’d been asked a question.

“Sorry,” she laughs nervously, moving a strand of her hair out of her face; Paige’s eyes intently following the movement, “what was the question.”

Lexie smiles, “I was just asking about your thoughts on Paige’s amazing rookie year so far?”

“Oh um-” Azzi hesitates, shivers inching up her spine as she feels Paige drinking in the sight of the her body like she's a woman parched, “I’m just-” their eyes lock with each other’s and everything else seems to vanish until it feels like it’s just the two of them floating in between remnants of what they used to be, “I’m just really proud of her. I always knew she’d be amazing. She’s just doing what she always does. Being the best player she can be. So yeah I’m just- I’m just really proud of her.”

And Azzi doesn’t know how they got to this point where Paige seems almost shocked that Azzi could be proud of her, to this point where there’s droplets threatening to spill over both of their water lines and they no longer have the right to wipe each other’s tears away.

“Aww,” Lexie coos, oblivious to the tension, “well on that sweet note, off y’all go and we’ll see y’all later.”

The walk into the party is kept alive with Aaliyah’s attempt at keeping a conversation going. While Paige tries to at least entertain some of, Azzi finds herself completely zoning out until they finally make their way inside into the cacophony of music and laughter.

“Y’all wanna get-” Aaliyah begins.

“I see Jewell and Téa,” Paige cuts her off immediately, her legs already moving in a rush, “I’ll see y’all later.”

She gives Aaliyah a tentative grin but barely looks at Azzi as she practically trips over her pant-sleeves trying to get away. It feels like something’s biting against her skin, sharp teeth indenting you did this to yourself as Azzi watches Paige walk away. She watches as the tension slowly leaves the blonde’s muscles as she’s pulled into a hug by Jewell and then by Téa. The fake smile that she’d politely kept on her face the last couple of minutes for the sake of the cameras and reporters is replaced by something far more genuine. Azzi watches as Paige is absorbed into the warmth of the growing crowd, embraced by a league that adores her, and she feels the ice cold pinch of she belongs somewhere without you now start to freeze her own heart.

***

Azzi’s doing fine. She’s gotten through the night with Aaliyah by her side, making small talk with a bunch of different players and she’s managed to keep a friendly smile the whole time. She’d even danced for a little bit, letting loose with some of the other college basketball players that had made the trip to Indianapolis. Sure, she’d occasionally been distracted by her eyes flickering over to the bar and finding a new pretty influencer batting their fake eyelashes at Paige but really she’s doing fine. Her head’s a little dizzy and maybe the third shot of tequila, influenced by a one leggy brunette that had gotten a little too handsy, wasn’t her brightest decision of the night but really, Azzi’s doing fine.

Until she’s not.

And it’s Paige's fault. She had to know that it would be Azzi’s last straw. She had to know that Azzi could live with watching a thousand girls flirt with Paige as long as the blonde in question stood rigidly by the bar doing nothing but smiling politely at them. She had to know that Azzi, after having spent most of their college life watching girls fawn over her girlfriend, could deal with the flirty hands that lingered just a little too long on Paige’s bicep. But it’s when Paige leans into this one girl -whose dark curls and tanned caramel skin are just a little too reminiscent of her own- when Paige’s lips graze just a little to close this one girl’s ear, that Azzi realizes she’s decidedly not fine.

“I need some air,” she manages to bite out, ignoring Aaliyah’s concerned look as she marches out the back door, heading towards the deck.

Azzi buries her face in her hands as she leans back against the brick wall. She knows she’s being unfair; knows she has absolutely no right to feel this way but something burns within her anyways and the light breeze does nothing to cool it down.

“I’m not cheating on you,” a harsh voice interrupts her pity party and Azzi sucks in a sharp breath, “We’re not together and I can flirt or kiss or fuck-” she flinches, “anyone if I want to.”

“I know.”

“Do you?” Paige’s voice is laced with accusation, “because the way you just stormed out says otherwise.”

Azzi continues to keep her head in her palms, refusing to look at the blonde, “it’s hot and stuffy in there. I just needed some fresh air.”

“Don’t you ever get tired of lying,” Paige spits out.

“Well what do you want me to say instead?” Azzi finally looks up, her even cadence in stark contrast to Paige’s fiery tone, “I know we’re not together-”

“Because that’s what you wanted-”

“I know,” Azzi yells, and then quieter, “I know. I know I- I know I did this. But that- that doesn’t make it any easier to see you with someone else,” she swallows, “doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt. Doesn’t mean I don’t miss you.”

Paige scoffs, rubbing her face as she begins to pace, “you miss me? I was at Mohegan when y’all had summer camp. The whole team showed up to the game except for you and you want me to believe that you miss me?”

“I didn’t think you’d want me there,” Azzi confesses in a whisper, “you were so mad at me after-after everything- and I just- I didn’t want to ruin coming back to Connecticut for you.”

“For me,” Paige lets out a laugh devoid of any emotion, “god Azzi there you go again with this fake ‘selfless’ bullshit.”

A thousand and one retorts die on the tip of Azzi’s tongue as she shakes her head and pushes herself off the wall. She can smell the alcohol on Paige, can tell the blonde is itching for an argument but all she feels is pure exhaustion.

“I don’t wanna fight Paige. I’m tired and I just-” she bites her lip, fighting the urge to caress Paige’s cheek, “believe it or don’t but- I really do miss you.”

Sparks of electricity dance their way through Azzi’s veins when Paige curls a hand around her wrist, stopping her in her tracks from going inside. And suddenly she doesn’t feel so cold anymore.

“Dance with me,” Paige whispers.

“What?”

Paige shrugs, tugging on Azzi’s hand to pull her closer, “you said you don’t wanna fight and I- I don’t want you to go,” the confession hangs between them as Paige’s hands fall to Azzi’s waist, “so- let’s just- let’s pretend.”

“What are we pretending?” Azzi asks quietly and despite the warnings ringing in her head, she wraps her arms around Paige’s neck. It feels like coming home.

“We’re pretending that we’re okay,” Paige says softly, holding Azzi’s hips as she begins to sway them gently, “we’re pretending that three months ago you said yes.”

“Paige-”

“Close your eyes Azzi,” the blond waves her hand gently across Azzi’s face, willing both of their eyelids to flutter shut, “we’re pretending that we’re not here- we’re in Minnesota or DC or I don’t know just- anywhere. And our families are here, laughing and talking and some sappy romantic song is playing. It's the best day of our lives and we’re both- we're both dressed in white-”

“Paige,” Azzi lets out a sob, as she begins to understand the picture Paige is painting for them; a picture drawn on a canvas that Azzi had torn up before any color could touch it

“Sshhhh just- let me have this okay,” Paige’s voice trembles as she leans her forehead against Azzi’s, “if I can’t have it for real, please just let me pretend.”

If they were both just a little bit more sober, maybe Azzi would fight Paige’s tightening grip. If they were both just a little bit more sober, maybe Paige would let go. Instead Azzi lets Paige play pretend, lets them keep their bodies pressed against each other, moving from side to side in rhythm with the wind.

It isn’t until she hears footsteps approaching them that Azzi hurriedly moves away first and she can see the betrayal of if only you’d just let me hold you in front of the world written all over Paige’s face. They’re both quick to swap their tears for smiles that don’t reach their eyes as they turn to face the intruders. And Azzi wonders if Paige wishes she’d drank a little bit more too. Because maybe if they were both just a little more drunk, then tomorrow they wouldn’t have to remember just how right it had felt to play pretend tonight.

April 2033

“You look so pretty Mama,” Stephie gushes from where she’s perched on the bed as she watches Azzi put the finishing touches to her makeup

“Thanks baby,” Azzi smiles, blowing a kiss in the mirror.

“Miss Buecks,” Stephie flips the running facetime call, skipping over to her mother with the phone in her hand, “doesn’t Mama look beautiful?”

Sixteen years later, and maybe it’s because of all the time they’d missed in between, but Azzi can’t help the bout of shyness that flushes across her features when Stephie places the phone, Paige’s face illuminated all over it, against the mirror so the blonde can get a proper look at Azzi’s outfit.

“You look-” Paige clears her throat, eyes dilated as they rake over Azzi’s whole body, “you look phenomenal.”

“Big word Bueckers,” Azzi teases, trying to disguise her blush, “did you just learn it?”

Paige rolls her eyes, “can’t even give you a compliment without an insult Fudd.”

“You guys argue too much,” Stephie says exasperatedly, shaking her head at the two adults who laugh. The younger girl sometimes seems far wise beyond her age.

“We’re not arguing Stephie, we’re just-” Azzi struggles to think of a word.

“Foreplaying,” Paige mutters under her breath and Azzi immediately glares at her.

“Paige!”

Stephie scrunches up her nose at the screen, “what does that mean?”

“Nothing,” Azzi says shrilly, “Miss Buecks is just making up words.”

“Why would Miss Buecks do that?” Stephie asks, looking back and forth between her mother and the screen.

“Why does Miss Buecks do anything,” Azzi babbles, as she begins to usher Stephie out of her room, “go grab your things Stephie-bean. Mama’s almost ready to drop you off at Nana and Pop’s house.”

Stephie pouts, “I wanna go to the party with you and Miss Buecks. It’s no fair you both get to go and I don’t,” she picks up the phone, looking at Paige with wide guilt-tripping eyes, “don’t you love me Miss Buecks?”

Azzi has to hand it to her daughter. She’s a smart one to choose Paige as the victim of her emotional blackmail, knowing her wiles had long stopped working on her mother.

“You know I’d take you with me if I could Stephie,” Paige says, “but I’ll make it up to you tomorrow I swear.”

Stephie smiles and Azzi shakes her head at how quickly the five-year old’s plan had worked, “you’ll take me to the park and then we’ll get fries and then get ice cream?”

“That’s a lot of junk food Steph-”

“Ssshh Mama,” Stephie chides, “this is between me and Miss Buecks.”

“The park, then fries, then ice cream it is,” Paige concedes and Azzi rolls her eyes.

Stephie grins brightly, puckering her lips to kiss Paige through the phone and eliciting a laugh from the older woman when she cheers, “you’re the best-est-est Miss Buecks. See you in a little bit. Don’t hang up without saying goodnight.”

“I promise I won’t,” Paige calls out after the little girl as Stepehie hands the phone back to Azzi and starts skipping towards her room.

Azzi gives the blonde a look, “we have got to have a conversation about you learning to say no to her.”

Paige shrugs unhelpfully, “I don’t want to learn how to say no to her.”

“You’re a lost cause,” Azzi remarks, hands on hips, “and foreplay? Seriously? Us bickering is not foreplay.”

“Well it could be if you’d just let me fuck you after,” Paige grumbles and Azzi’s mouth falls open at the bluntness of it.

“You say the most romantic things to me Paige Bueckers.”

They’re both quiet for a second as Azzi moves around her room, collecting her wallet and keys and to put into her purse.

“You know there’s still time for me to come pick you up,” Paige says finally.

“Paige,” Azzi sighs, not wanting a rerun of the same argument they’ve been having for the last week. She knows it’s a touchy subject for Paige; that it veers a little too close to insecurities that stem from their past but she’s not quite ready to take this step yet. There isn’t quite any rhyme or reason to her logic except well, she’s haunted by memories of the last time they’d let the personal mix with the professional. Her phone still holds invitations to countless team reunions that she’d actively avoided and a group chat that she’s long muted. Azzi hasn’t stepped foot in the state of Connecticut since she’d entered the draft; she refuses to lose California too.

“Teammates can carpool,” Paige explains vehemently, “it’s easily explainable.’

“I know-”

“Is this about Clémence?” bitterness tinges the edge of Paige’s voice as she chews her bottom lip. And there it is, the other subject they’d been tip-toeing around since it had been brought up at breakfast a week ago. Paige and Azzi are both excellent at avoiding talking about the harder topics but they’ve never quite managed to let anything go forever.

“Why would this be about Clémence?”

Paige narrows her eyes, sitting up from where she’d previously been lounging against her pillow, “maybe you don’t want her to see us together? Maybe you’re trying to spare her feelings I don’t know.”

“Paige-”

“You know what it’s fine,” Paige huffs, “I’ll see you at the bar Azzi.”

She hangs up before Azzi can say anything and the brunette lets out a litany of curses under her breath, annoyed with Paige’s ability to go from A to Z by skipping everything in between. There’s a part of her that knows Paige deserves an explanation about Clémence, a chance to have her lingering doubts confirmed or denied, but amidst the egoistic thoughts of well she married someone else and the self preservationist urge to prevent a potential fight, she hadn’t been brave enough to approach the topic just quite yet. Azzi’s about to step out of the room, when her phone pings with a facetime call from Paige again.

“Are you calling to apologize for hanging up?” Azzi asks with a frown.

“No,” Paige replies stubbornly, “I called because I hung up without saying goodnight to Stephie and just because I’m mad at you doesn’t mean I’m gonna miss saying goodnight to her.”

Something wonderful and warm blooms in Azzi’s chest as she silently walks over to Stephie’s room. This is a new chapter in Paige’s storybook that she’s slowly beginning to read; one scribbled with the blonde’s devotion to Azzi’s baby girl. Azzi still has every other chapter memorized; had thought nothing could be more beautiful than the words within the one that had been dedicated to her. But she’d been wrong. Because every day that she watches Paige and Stephie fall more and more in love with each other, she finds herself falling in love with how much they love each other.

“Miss Buecks,” Stephie squeals, practically snatching the phone from her mother’s hand as she goofily grins at the screen, “you didn’t hang up.”

“I promised I wouldn’t,” Paige says, the hardness that had existed in her voice while talking to Azzi, dissolving into adulation, “you be good for Nana and Pops okay?”

“I’m always good,” Stephie says matter-of-factly, “can you come over really, really, early tomorrow?”

Paige laughs, “I’ll be there as soon as I wake up.”

“Good,” Stephie claps contentedly as she grabs Azzi’s hand to start walking towards the car, “good night Miss Buecks.”

“Good night Stephie-bean,” Paige echoes, blowing a kiss through the screen.

“Paige,” Azzi says urgently, trying to stop the older woman from hanging up, “can you just hold on a second while I buckle Stephie in.”

“Az-”

“Please.”

“Fine,” Paige says, averting Azzi’s gaze as she sulks.

Azzi lifts Stephie onto the car seat, fastening her seatbelt and pressing a kiss to her daughter’s cheek, before she closes the car door and uses it as a stabilizing structure to lean on as she pulls her phone back in front of her.

“Hey,” she whispers.

“Hi,” Paige says back begrudgingly, “you wanted to say something?”

“I-” Azzi swallows, “don’t go the bar-”

“Oh fantastic,” Paige cuts her off, her voice furious as she glares daggers at Azzi through the phone, “not only do you not want to go to the bar together, you don’t want me to go at all. Fine. Okay. Whatever. I won’t go. You have the time of your life with fucking Clementine or whatever-”

“Yet,” Azzi says loudly, trying to speak over Paige’s angry rant, “don’t go to the bar yet.”

“What?”

Azzi licks her lips, “don’t go yet. I’m gonna drop Stephie off at my parents-”

“What does that have to-”

“Will you just let me fucking finish?” Azzi almost bangs her fist on the car in frustration and she’s glad to see that it makes Paige look just a little bit sheepish, “as I was saying. I’m gonna drop Stephie off at my parents and uh- your house- it’s um- it’s on the way to the bar so I thought,” she shrugs with fake nonchalance, the edge of her mouth turning upwards, “I thought maybe- maybe I could pick you up on the way.”

Paige stares blankly at the screen, eyes blinking as Azzi’s words slowly register, “you- you wanna go to the bar together?”

“I didn’t say that,” Azzi teases, eyes twinkling as she basks in the thrill of eliciting that Azzi smile from Paige’s lips, “teammates carpool right?”

“Teammates definitely carpool.”

April 2029

“You invited Clémence to our movie night?” Jana asks in a whisper, as she walks into the kitchen where Azzi’s making popcorn. Her Saturday nights have gotten rather boring since she’s had Stephie, consisting of alternating between movie nights with Jana and dinner with her parents. It wasn’t the most thrilling of times but she looked forward to them all week, excited to not have to spend a night in solitude.

“She asked what I was doing tonight and I told her we were having a movie night and then she asked if she could join and well I couldn’t just say no,” Azzi explains, sticking the bag into the microwave.

Jana cocks an eyebrow, “do you want me to leave?”

“Why would I want you to leave?” Azzi asks, crinkling her nose as she juts out an ear just in case the baby monitor goes off.

“C’mon Az,” Jana says pointedly, leaning on her elbows against the kitchen counter, “you’re telling me there’s nothing going on between the two of you?”

Azzi grimaces uneasily, not quite wanting to answer the question, “nothing that would require you to leave.”

“If that’s the way you want to play it,” Jana relents, grabbing a soda from the fridge on her way back to the living room, before she pauses in the doorway to look back at Azzi, “but I know what it looks like when somebody’s in love with you. And that girl out there,” she nods her head towards where Clémence is daintily sitting on the couch, “she’s definitely getting there.”

Jana’s a rather observant person but Azzi knows that she’s at least a little bit wrong this time. Because Clémence might be a little bit in love with -even if that’s not a fact Azzi particularly wants to acknowledge- but it's impossible for her to look at Azzi the way Jana remembers someone else looking at her. That had been something completely different; a gaze that saw all the little chinks in her armor, all the imperfections carved against her walls and loved her inspite of them, maybe even because of them. Clémence might love her, but Azzi doesn’t think anyone can be in love with her the way the person she’d been hopelessly in love with, had.

When she walks back into the living room with the popcorn in hand, still plagued by her younger teammate’s words, Azzi’s deliberate to sit on the couch next to Jana instead of the open space next to the francophone. The flash of hurt in Clémence’s eye causes guilt to trickle down her spine but Azzi thinks a flash is better than the tsunami of pain she could cause if she doesn’t start to ease herself out of this right now. There’s a selfish part of her that doesn’t want to, that’s going to miss having somebody who hangs onto her every word. Azzi likes this feeling of being wanted, even if it’s not by the person she wants. But that person isn’t hers to want anymore and she won’t torture Clémence by barricading her in the same jail that has held Azzi’s soul captive for the last four years.

They’re about half way through the movie, awkward tension eased by Jana’s incessant chatter, when Azzi’s phone buzzes. Already confused at the timing of the call, she’s even more perplexed to see Ice’s name flashing on the screen.

“Oooh Iceyyy,” Jana’s eyes light up when she catches a glimpse of the CallerID, “put her on speaker. Ice is one of our UConn teammates,” she explains, turning to Clémence who nods in recognition, “she probably did something dumb as fuck and need Azzi’s advice.”

“Don’t be mean,” Azzi scolds with a grin, knowing that Jana’s probably right as she picks up the call, “hello-”

“I hate you,” Azzi freezes at the sound of the familiar voice, laced with unfamiliar malice. Next to her Jana stiffens immediately while Clémence observes the scene in front of her with a guarded frown.

“Paige who the fuck are you calling?” Ice’s voice is muffled in the background, “oh shit, Paige give me back my phone.”

“No. She needs to hear this,” Paige grits out, her pitch wavering with the effects of alcohol, “she needs to hear how much I fucking hate her. Azzi do you hear me? I can hear you breathing. I know you’re there. Did you hear what I said?”

“Paige,” Ice hisses again.

Azzi swallows the lump in her throat, fingers digging into her bare thighs as she grips her phone so hard, she half-expects it to break into pieces in a reflection of her heart, “I heard you Paige.”

“Good. Because I do. I really fucking hate you,” Paige repeats again and Azzi flinches, “you ruined me Azzi. And now you’re ruining my marriage. My wife is perfect. She loves me. She loves being seen with me. She loves being known as my wife. Everything I ever wanted from you, she’s willing to give me. But she saw that damn hug at the Olympics and she- she’s upset with me. She thinks- she thinks I’m not over you.”

“Az maybe you should-” Jana says softly but Azzi immediately raises a hand to stop her. Maybe she’s a masochist but she can hear the hurt laced underneath the anger in Paige's voice. And if what Paige needs to get rid of her pain is a target to aim all her arrows at, then Azzi’s willing to sacrifice her heart, or at least what little is still left of it.

“And the worst thing about it,” Paige’s voice breaks, “is that she's probably right. I have the perfect fucking woman at home and I can’t seem to get over the one who broke my heart and never looked back. Isn’t that pathetic?”

“Paige,” Ice pleads again and Azzi can hear her former teammate trying her best to wrangle the phone out of Paige’s firm grasp.

“I’m not done yet Ice. I need to talk to her and I need to talk to her now because if I don’t, I’ll never get the courage to say any of this again,” Paige is sobbing now, and her broken whimpers pierce Azzi’s heart deeper than any words could, “why couldn’t you just have said yes Az? I know- I know your reasons but why- why couldn’t you have just loved me enough to look past them? How do you do it Azzi? How do you live without me because it’s been four years and I- I still don’t think I know how to live without you and I hate you, I hate you because you do.”

No, Azzi thinks, I really don’t. But she doesn’t say anything, rapidly blinking back tears as she avoids both Jana’s concerned look and Clémence’s more thoughtful gaze.

“I wish I could just feel nothing towards you Azzi,” Paige confesses, heaving as she struggles to breathe through her tears, “I don’t want to hate you. I don’t want to miss you and I really- I really, really don’t want to love you. Please just make it stop. I’m so tired of this Azzi. I’m so tired of hurting. How do I make it go away? Please tell me how I make it go away? How did you make it go away?”

“I didn’t,” Azzi whispers, so soft she’s not sure Paige heard it; she’s not sure if she wants Paige to have heard it. It’s the kind of pain, she thinks, she’s destined to feel forever. It’s weaved itself into every crevice of body and now it exists as just another innate part of her. Paige thinks Azzi’s learned to live without her but really all Azzi’s learned is how to live with these permanent scars of i think i’ll miss you forever.

“That’s enough Paige,” Ice’s voice is clearer now, having finally snatched the phone out of her teammate’s grip, “Azzi-” she begins apologetically, “she’s just drunk. She didn’t mean-”

“She did,” Azzi clears her throat, sinking into the way Jana's arms wrap around her, “she’s um- she’s gonna be really hungover in the morning. Make sure she- make sure you give her water but don’t- don’t give her coffee. She’ll want it but it’ll only make it worse because she uh- she- when she drinks too much, her stomach hurts and the caffeine- it just- it makes it worse so- don’t let her drink coffee tomorrow morning okay? And make sure- make sure she eats something before she takes painkillers. And Ice?’

“Yeah Azzi.”

“If she doesn’t remember any of this tomorrow morning, please don’t remind her.”

***

April 2033

The bar is buzzing with noise by the time Paige and Azzi finally arrive. It’s an exclusive enough place that they won’t be too bothered by fans asking for pictures and autographs but the size of the crowd still puts Azzi a little bit on edge. She can’t help the small smile that flitters across her face when she feels Paige’s hand resting on her lower back as the blonde guides the two of them through the crowd in search of their teammates. For the last eight years, Azzi has been her own protector and she’s learned to guard herself but it’s nice -it feels right- to have someone else ready to be her shield too.

“You know Bueckers,” Joyce says as the two of them finally approach the table that had been reserved for the Valkyries, “some might say that one should be on time when meeting their new teammates. Just a thought.”

“And some might say Edwards that being fashionably late is being on time,” Paige quips back.

Joyce grins, “alright time for introductions.”

“I’m pretty sure I know-”

“Shut up,” Joyce reprimands, throwing an arm around Paige’s shoulders, “let me introduce these brand new people to you.”

“They’re not-”

“Sssshhh. Let me have my fun. We’ll start over here with Westbeld and Booker. You might know them, their teams kicked your ass during the 23-24 season,” Joyce says with a smirk.

“Oh I do remember that,” Paige says thoughtfully, eyes twinkling with mirth, “what happened the season after?”

“Don’t be cocky Bueckers. It’s unbecoming,” Madison chides as she rises from the table to give Paige a hug.

“Yeah I try not to remember that Elite Eight game thanks,” Laila says, making a disgusted face.

Joyce glares at her, “did I introduce you yet Miss Phelia?”

Laila raises her hands in surrender as Joyce continues to give Paige a tour of the Valkyrie team. Azzi had known that Paige would fit in well with her teammate -really the blonde had the uncanny ability to fit in anywhere- but seeing it realized in front of her, it seems even clearer. Paige feels like the last mosaic piece, slotting in right where she belongs.

“Those two over there are our babies,” Joyce points to Haylen and Jayla, “they’re like five years old but we love them anyways.”

“I’m almost 25,” Haylen protests.

“See,” Joyce remarks, “literally children. And that one,” she points to Jana who beams at Paige, “well you already know her even if you sometimes wish you didn’t probably-”

“Hey!”

“Oh shush Jana,” Joyce says airily, “and I supposed there’s no point in introducing Azzi to you since y’all came together,” she pauses to look between them, “y’all don’t live that close to each other. Why didn’t you just carpool with Jana? I’m pretty sure she lives closer to you.”

Paige opens and closes her mouth a couple of times as Azzi feels her own cheeks heat up at the innocent enough question, “we um- well it's just- you see- my house is on the way from her parents and she had to drop off Stephie so it just- it just made sense you know? For efficiency’s sake.”

“Oh yeah for efficiency’s sake. They’re both very efficient,” Jana smirks, “makes a lot of sense.”

Joyce gives all three of them a weird look, “y’all Huskies are strange. It was just a question but anyways,” she grins as she finally steers Paige towards the blonde in the corner and Azzi stiffens at the way Paige’s body immediately tenses, “a couple of our teammates aren’t here but we do have a former teammate. Paige meet Clémence.”

“We’ve met,” Paige says, attempting to school her features to resemble anything but the discomfort she’s feeling within, “during the Olympics that is. We’ve beat France a couple of times.”

It’s a purposeful word choice, beat instead of played and Azzi's fingers fidget with the hem of her top as she tries to avoid looking at either of the two women.

“Yes. It is good to see you again,” Clémence says tersely, her French accent stronger than the last time Azzi had spoken to her. She shakes Paige’s hand rather formally before her eyes focus on Azzi and she determinedly walks towards the brunette, “and it is really good to see you Azzi. I have missed you.”

“I-” Azzi stutters at the French woman pulls her into a hug; over her shoulder she can practically see steam coming out of Paige’s ears as she hyper focuses on how Clémence makes it a point rub her thumb down Azzi’s back, “it’s um- it’s good to see you too.”

She pulls away and she can feel the disappointment reverberating from Clémence’s body as Azzi practically flings herself on the chair next to Jana, wondering what she’d done to deserve this moment as a punishment for her sins.

“Save me,” she pleads as Clémence and Paige sit as far away from each other as possible, occasionally shooting glares when they think the other isn’t looking.

“Save you from having two hot women fighting over you?” the center teases, “you truly have such first world problems Azzi Fudd.”

“They’re not fighting over me-”

“Azzi you will have your usual rum and coke no?” Clémence asks and Azzi looks over to where the francophone is intently staring at her, “I will go-”

“Oh there’s no need,” Paige says immediately, “you sit Clémence. You already have a drink. I was gonna go get one for myself and I’ll get Azzi’s too. Besides, Azzi's more of a fruity drink girl. Az I’ll get you a piña colada-”

Clémence narrows her eyes, “maybe she liked that when she was in college but Azzi likes something different now.”

“She might like something different now,” Paige counters, standing up aggressively so she towers over the table, “but she’s always gonna love a piña colada right Azzi?”

All eyes turn to look at Azzi who wants nothing more than to cower under the table- or hit Jana who seems to find this very unamusinging situation rather entertaining, “I um-” she swallows, “I think tonight calls for something stronger. Round of shots for the table? On me?”

It placates the situation for a while as the rest of the team cheers on the idea, beckoning over one of the bartenders to orders a round of tequila shots for the table. For a moment, Azzi tricks herself into thinking maybe that’ll be the end of ridiculous situations for the night as the team downs shots to Jana yelling “to the Valkyries” but she should have known it was wishful thinking.

Half the team ends up on the dance floor, swaying to the mixed rhythm of the music and the newly minted alcohol coursing through their bloodstreams. Azzi watches with a smile as despite her protests, Joyce manages to drag Paige onto the dance floor with her, engaging her in some eccentric dance moves as they try to outdo each other on who can look the silliest. And as the rest of the girls cheer the blonde on, it feels like Paige is chiseling out a place for herself in another part of Azzi’s world.

“She is easy to love,” Clémence’s hot breath fans Azzi’s ear as the francophone takes Jana’s empty seat next to the brunette.

“Clém-” Azzi sighs.

“She fits in well with the team,” Clémence continues, something wistful in her voice, “I have seen her play. She will fit in well on the court with you guys as well. She will fit in well next to you.”

“That’s the hope,” Azzi says softly as she tilts her head to look at the other woman, “you fit in well too. I mean it Clém. We’ll miss you at GSV.”

Clémence smiles bitterly, “I would have liked to stay but they needed the cap space so they could sign her. She- she’s quite expensive. I mean considering she is casually wearing swarovski crystals on her neck in a bar on a random Saturday night, I am not surprised.”

The two of them laugh despite the gravity that looms heavily over them. Azzi and Clémence haven’t been anything in a long time but she’d never quite shut the possibility of a potential future done. She can hear the lock ready to click now. It’s bittersweet doing the right thing but as Paige glances over from the dancefloor, eyes darting cautiously between the two of them, Azzi knows that she doesn’t want to keep any other doors open. Not when the one with Paige’s name etched on the door handle, leads to home.

“One last dance?” Clémence asks softly, holding out her hand.

Azzi hesitates, knowing that it would irritate Paige but she thinks she probably owes Clémence this and so she smiles and takes the francophone’s outstretched hand as they join their other teammates. It’s nothing beyond friendly and they both keep their hands to themselves as they sway to the music, but Azzi can feel the annoyance radiating off of Paige from across the dancefloor. She would never admit it, perhaps it’s a little toxic of her, but there’s a certain thrill to making Paige jealous. There’s something about the way the blonde’s blue eyes flare with ice cold envy, the way her jaw hardens as she grinds her teeth. The way she looks at Azzi like if she had her way she’d drag the brunette out of the bar and mark her with a possessive you’re mine you’re mine youre mine. It makes Azzi clench her thighs together as she tries to focus on Clémence.

“I understand now,” the francophone says thoughtfully as Azzi’s peers up at her in confusion, “when you told me that you could not be with me. I get it.”

“I don’t-”

“You are here with me but you aren’t actually. You will always be with her,” Clémence tilts her head towards Paige, “you always have been. I understand now,” she says again simply before her face hardens, “even after all those words she said to you on the phone that night.”

Azzi’s stomach curls at the reminder. She knows exactly what night Clémence is referring to. Sometimes when she closes her eyes, it’s those words, coated in anger and malice, that shower around her like acid rain, seeping into her skin and infecting her bloodstream.

“I told you, you deserved better,” Clémence says and Azzi gulps, ��but you said- you said you deserved worse. I hope you don’t believe that anymore Azzi. Just because you hurt her doesn’t mean you need to let her hurt you too.”

“I-” Azzi’s cut off by a hard body ramming into her own and she feels herself going stumbling back into the unwanted arms of a random man, “I’m sorry,” she says tersely, struggling to get out his grip.

“No worries pretty girl,” he says toothily, the heavy stench of alcohol in his breath making Azzi feel nauseous, “but now that you’re here, how about I buy you a drink.”

“No thank you,” Azzi says sternly, trying to push the man away but he’s relentless.

“Aw c’mon don’t be like that sweetheart,” the term of endearment sounds like an insult falling from his lips and Azzi loses her patience, stomping her heel into the man’s foot to finally free herself from his grip and he yelps in surprise.

“I said no thank you.”

“What the fuck,” the man spits out, standing up as Azzi takes a step back. He’s got some muscle and although, despite his bravado, she knows she’s strong enough to take him, she’d rather not create a scene. Her plan is to walk away. Paige seems to have other ideas, suddenly materializing in between Azzi and the man, a furious look on her face as she squares him up.

“Do we have a problem?” the blonde asks menacingly.

“Nothing other than your little friend here being a fucking bitch.”

Paige’s eyes darken as she takes a threatening step towards him, prevented from going further only by the way Azzi immediately laces a hand around her wrist, “what the fuck did you call her?”

“I called her a-”

“It doesn’t matter,” Azzi cuts in, stepping in between a glaring Paige and a man who’s clearly underestimating her strength, “let it go Paige.”

“Yeah,” the man mocks, “let it go Paige.”

“You fucking-” Paige tries to lunge at him but Azzi’s quick to shove her back gently.

“Don’t cause a scene,” she warns.

“Azzi-”

“Paige please.”

“Holy shit,” the man wolf-whistles, “y’all play for the Valks. You’re Azzi Fudd. I know you.”

“Good for you,” Azzi spits out at him before turning her attention back to Paige, who looks like she could kill the man if given the chance, “c’mon let's go back to our tab-”

“It’s funny you’re acting like such a fucking prude when you have a bastard chi-”

An unmistakable crunch rings out through the bar as the man goes flying backwards. Azzi’s knuckles are bleeding as her breath comes out in ragged huffs. She hadn’t wanted to cause a scene; could have walked away from a man being a drunken idiot, could have walked away from being called a bitch or hell, even something worse. But the man had attacked the one part of her that she’d always be ready to go to war for. He’d brought up Stephie and she’d seen red. Her fist had moved of it's own accord.

Paige doesn’t say anything and Azzi can feel the anger still vibrating from the older woman’s body as she roughly grabs Azzi’s unhurt hand.

“Let’s go,” the blonde’s voice is eerily low, “we’re going home.”

***

It’s a subconscious choice to let Paige drive Azzi’s car even though they’ve both sobered up considerably, not that one shot had done much in the first place. It’s a subconscious choice that Azzi reaches over to lace her fingers through Paige’s free hand, resting it on her lap, as the blonde use her other hand to grip the steering wheel. It’s a subconscious choice that they end up driving to Azzi’s house in complete silence. She’s not sure who’s mad at who, if they’re even mad at each other or that man or just the world but she can feel the fury suffocating the air.

“Where’s your first-aid kit?” Paige says gruffly as Azzi unlocks the door.

“Bathroom,” Azzi says quietly and Paige is off towards it before the word has even fully left the brunette’s mouth. Azzi scrambles after her, pausing in the doorway as Paige rummages through drawers, knowing better than to interrupt to help when Paige looks livid like this.

“Sit,” Paige points to the sink once she’s finally found the sanitizer and gauze to clean up dried up blood staining Azzi’s knuckles.

“I can do it my-”

Paige glares at her, “just sit on the fucking sink Azzi.”

Putting away her own irritation at being told what to do, Azzi lifts herself onto the flat surface of the sink, opening her legs slightly so that Paige can stand between them. Despite still quivering with barely concealed rage, Paige’s touch is gentle as she dabs at the remnants of red liquid on Azzi’s hand.

“You should’ve just let me punch him when I wanted to,” she says finally.

“So you could be the one bleeding?” Azzi raises an eyebrow.

“No because he would’ve never gotten the courage to say shit about Stephie if you’d just let me kill him when he called you a bitch,” Paige bites out venomously.

“And let you go to jail? I couldn’t do that to Stephie,” Azzi tries to lighten the tension in the room, “she’d miss you too much.

“This isn’t funny, Azzi,” Paige seethes as she begins to wrap the white gauze around the wound.

“I know,” the younger woman says, trailing her other hand down Paige’s arms trying to soothe her anger, “but it’s fine-”

“It’s not fucking fine,” Paige yells.

“Baby-” the word slips out from Azzi’s lips before she can catch it. She hasn’t used it for someone other than Stephie in so long that it feels foreign on her lips and yet, it fits exactly right.

“Did you call Clémence that too?” and there it is, the real reason behind the volcano erupting as Paige decidedly looks away from Azzi.

Azzi narrows her eyes, “I don’t know Paige. Did you call Olivia that?”

“That’s different,” Paige grits out, “Olivia was my wife.”

Azzi flinches at the word; hates that somebody else had ever had the honor of being called that even if she knows it’s unfair of her to feel that way when she’s the one that had turned it down first.

“Exactly,” she says slowly, “you married someone else-” she holds up a hand when Paige protests, “I know. I know I said no but you married someone else Paige. So you don’t get to be mad at me for having something with someone else too.”

Paige is quiet for a moment and Azzi sees the exact moment the fight leaves her body as she lets out a sigh, leaning her head against Azzi’s shoulder.

“You’re right,” Paige whispers into Azzi’s neck, hands moving to rest against the brunette’s thighs.

Azzi runs her hand through Paige’s hair, brushing it in tandem with the harmony of her breathing, “we can’t keep throwing the past in each other’s face, Paige.”

“I know,” Paige breath tickles against Azzi’s skin and she shivers in spite of the tense moment,“I just-” the blonde lifts her head to look at Azzi, “I need to know who Clémence was to you. You- you know what Olivia was to me and I- I just need to know the same about Clémence.”

“She-” Azzi hesitates, “we hooked up a couple of times,” she squeezes Paige’s hand when the blonde flinches, “but then she- she wanted more but I couldn’t- I couldn’t do that. Partly because I didn’t- I didn’t feel the same- don’t look so smug,” Azzi chides when a small grin forms on Paige’s face, “and partly because we were on the same team. I didn’t want to complicate things, not like last time. Feel like I should probably have a rule not to date teammates.”

“Right.”

Azzi watches the cogs turning in Paige’s brain and she reaches out a hand to ease the creases forming on her forehead, “what are you thinking Bueckers?”

“I just-” Paige bites her lip, “what about me?”

“What about you?”

“I mean we’re gonna be- I mean we are- we’re on the same team too,” Paige says and Azzi can hear the insecurity of will you leave me again weaved through her voice.

“You don’t get it yet do you,” Azzi whispers, reaching up to cup Paige’s face, “baby you are the exception to all of my rules.”

#pazzi #paige bueckers #azzi fudd #wcbb

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hannieween · 9 months ago

Text

after dark | city lights series | h.js

It all started with a deal with your next door neighbor, Joshua Hong. A little harmless deal that surprisingly led you to finding love; and a part of yourself that you were still discovering.

✮ pairings: joshua hong x female reader ✮ genre: fluff, angst, smut (18+) ✮ aus: rock singer joshua, boyfriend joshua, ldr ✮ word count: 22.3k

›🎧: underwater – red velvet | deep deep sleep – woodz | water – ten

→ previous chapters

› nsfw warnings under the cut

✮ warnings: alcohol consumption (no dubcon), smut with plot, dom joshua, brat reader, reader is on the pill, foul language, dirty talk, unprotected p in v sex, creampies [a lot of these], cumplay, spit play, oral sex (m, f), multiple orgasms, phone sex, guided masturbation, use of sex toys (rabbit vibrator), sextapes, manhandling, quickie, anal play, praise/degradation kink, breeding kink, exhibitionism: sex in semi public spaces, brat taming: spanking, bondage (belt); pet names: sweetheart, princess, baby, bunny (hers) handsome, baby, babe, baby boy (his)

✮ this was proofread by the amazingly talented @cvntrlseecvntrlvee thank you for helping me with ideas, and for being there to witness drunk v writing that quickie hehe

✮ disclaimer: minors dni this post is intended for 18+ readers ONLY. please have your age stated in your description and try not to look like a bot please 🙂.

part viii — part one

The ride back home was characterized by an unpleasant silence, only interrupted by your crying. It wasn't a loud, snotty weeping, you just kept silently gathering tears, sobbing every now and then.

But your boyfriend's best friend noticed. Every time you brought your hand to wipe away tears with the sleeve of your sweater, you'd feel his swift gaze on you as he kept driving.

"Do you want to grab some food? Are you okay?" Yoon Jeonghan asked once, his tone tentative and cautious.

"I'm fine," you smiled sheepishly. "I'm okay. I'm just a bit of a crybaby."

"Oh, don't say that," he responded calmly. "You're allowed to cry, it's okay."

You laughed meekly. "Is this a good first impression?" you wondered out loud. "I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about that," he said while eyeing you with a polite smile on his face. "You know, Joshua asked me to get you home, but I also wanted to meet you ever since he told me about you," he mentioned briefly and with a simple tone.

You turned to see the man you knew almost nothing about. "He's told you about me?"

Jeonghan scrambled for words. You noticed his shifty eyes and when he parted his lips, "I, uh, don't wanna get myself in trouble," he chuckled embarrassedly. "He just told me that he was seeing someone."

You narrowed your eyes, spotting his clear lie but decided not to press.

"You need to understand—Joshua has never been this serious with anyone in the years I've known him," he told you, eyeing you and the road. "And I've known him for a long time. So when he told me that he was serious about you... I knew I had to meet you."

"I find that hard to believe, him being single for years. I know, he's told me but," you pointed with a small laugh. "I mean, Joshua is..."

Jeonghan shifted a little in his seat. "Yeah, yeah, I know. Eyebrow piercing, emo boy, hard to resist," he chuckled. "Yes, that guy, single. I guess he's told you that he had some flings here and there but never committed."

"He doesn't–hasn't told me much about his past relationships," you told your boyfriend's best friend. "We actually don't talk about that, either his or my own past relationships."

"That's fair," he hummed, shifting the grip on the steering wheel to one hand, while he decided to rest the other on the windowsill. "But don't think that there's some tragic backstory, or whatever that's made him like this. Shuji was always set on growing his musical career before chasing someone."

You stifled a laugh. "Suppose I got lucky, then."

"Maybe you both are just lucky," he muttered, eyes set on the road ahead.

"So how did you two meet?" you wondered. "If you don't mind me asking."

"We met through another friend," he eyed you curiously. "Choi Seungcheol, you've met him?"

"I don't think I have, no," you frowned and then your mouth parted. "Oh! Is it the bar owner?"

Jeonghan nodded. "That's the one," he gave you an amused smile. "Now the story of how we actually met is something I decidedly shouldn't tell you," he chuckled again and darted a look at you. "Ask your boyfriend."

"Why, is it bad?" you asked innocently.

"No, not bad. Nothing is bad if you have a good excuse," he let out a low cackle. "It was a really fun night. I lost a lot of money," he coughed a bit, steering the wheel with one hand.

"Mmph, that only generates more questions, you know," you scoffed and he only gave you a grin in response.

"Your turn, then," he looked at you when the car stopped at a red light. "How did you meet Joshuji? Of course, if that's a story you would like to share."

Joshuji. Your stomach twisted at the sound of the fond nickname.

"I uh, I have really bad sleeping habits," you started with some shyness, but there was something in the nature of your boyfriend's best friend. He seemed inviting and familiar.

"Ah, really?" his eyebrows shot up.

You nodded, continuing: "I went to his door one day to tell him to stop playing his guitar because I couldn't sleep, thinking it was really early in the morning to be playing on speakers," you chuckled awkwardly. "Turns out that it was well past noon. And I was still in pjs, sleep deprived and cranky."

"Mmmn," he nodded with thought. "I have bad sleep habits too."

"Oh no, I'm sorry to hear that," you replied pitifully.

"Don't be. I'm used to it," he replied quickly, drawing in a breath before he pulled to the curb. "And there you go, Ms. Hong. Arrived home safe."

"Thank you for the ride," you smiled, gathering your bearings and before you could step out of his fancy car you turned to see the man. "Let me compensate you in some way."

His eyebrows pushed up. "I'm sorry?"

"Yeah, let me buy you lunch or so-something," you replied shyly. "I owe you."

He snorted a laugh. "Ever heard of friends? You owe me nothing."

You looked away, trying to hide the evident shame you felt and probably showed in your face. "I also want to know more about you... and Joshua."

"Ah, then you should've said it like that," he tutted, a smile threatening to break on his face. "Lunch is alright."

The first weekend went by slowly.

Thankfully, you had a lot of work to bury yourself in, such as signing books, preparing and green lighting stuff for the book promotions. You were surprised to see that your agency had secured you round a of interviews, so you had to prepare for that too.

One morning you were returning to your apartment, a bag of fresh groceries in your arms, when you saw a tall man standing outside your door. Your stomach twisted at the sight, and your first instinct was to think of Joshua, even if that was quite improbable.

But the man faced the door, and you caught sight of his sharp nose and slightly curly dark hair hiding beneath a black beanie. You suddenly realized that you'd seen this man before, and it was your neighbor.

"Hi," you chirped, making the man turn to you now. "Seokmin, right?"

"Hi, there," he gave you a toothy grin. "That's right. I'm just here to drop by some things that Joshua left in our old apartment. Is it alright if I drop them with you?"

"Yeah, of course," you replied, noticing the cardboard box in his arm. You reached to open up the door and stepped inside. "You can leave it on the table, it's fine."

"Thanks," he muttered. "That's all he left behind, that's it for me. Have a nice day!"

And with that, you were barely uttering a phrase in goodbye when Seokmin walked out your door, turning down to the elevator instead to what used to be Joshua's apartment. A hollow feeling invaded you when it dawned on you that the place was finally empty now.

With a long sigh, you closed your door and turned to the box on the table. You decided to pry inside it, to find some pillowcases neatly folded, a bottle of shampoo, a black cap, sunglasses, a protein shaker and a pair of training gloves.

You gave yourself the freedom to empty the box and find a place for these items in your bedroom. Joshua had left two large sound amplifiers in your apartment already, so you saw no reason why you shouldn't find somewhere to keep his other stuff.

You were just leaving the bottle of shampoo in the shower when you caught the tangy smell of citrus, like fresh lemonade or the tangerine splash when you peel off the juicy fruit. It instantly reminded you of the smell of Joshua's hair, the smell you swore lingers in the pillow he used the last time he slept with you.

Joshua had been gone for two days, and you were getting by just fine. He called once a day and texted whenever he could. But the truth was that he kept busy, and had little time to even catch up with you.

So in an attempt to distract yourself from the gut wrenching feeling you got from missing him, you went into your room and lay down on the bed, scrolling mindlessly on your phone.

That's when you were reminded of the videos Joshua had sent the night he arrived at his hotel room. He made no comment about it, just dropped them in the conversation he shared with you and you hadn't had the opportunity to watch them. Until now.

The videos Joshua sent you were of the last night you had sex with him. One video started and the first thing that caught your eye was your face. Your heart sank at the first glimpse of what his view was when he fucked you: the camera flash hit your eyes and you grimaced slightly, but you could see in the video, despite it all, your lust-blown eyes looking at him expectantly.

It was the first time you saw yourself in this position. Lying face up to him, your head in the pillows, hair spread all over them. In that second, you could feel yourself heating up when you saw yourself like this. And your arms were framing your head and your wrists, god—bound by rope tightly and tied up to your headboard. Joshua's hand came into the frame, and the angle of the camera shifted down to your naked body, thus showing his.

A burning sensation rushed inside you when you saw his cock, fully hard, as Joshua gripped it in his hand. He kept his thumb on top of his veiny, thick shaft. Your mouth watered as you saw him guiding it to your core.

A desperate need to feel what your eyes were watching overwhelmed you so badly that you had to pause the video and put your phone down. You were surprised at the response of your body, your accelerated heart, the excitedness coursing through your veins, buzzing in your ears. You knew you had to do something about it.

You felt your pulse beneath your hot skin as you tugged your shorts down with one hand, dragging your wet panties along and finished taking them off by kicking them with your feet.

Pushing your knees up, you parted your thighs slightly, only to sneak one hand in and let out a sigh upon feeling just how wet you were already.

Your free hand scrambled in your bed, blindly searching for your phone and you tapped play to resume watching Joshua's hand, guiding his pretty cock inside you. The reddened cockhead nudged in your entrance—just as your fingers glided in your wetness, your mind went blank, subdued by the need to recreate what you felt that night.

"Fuck," Joshua muttered when he sheathed himself completely inside you, his voice sounded soft in the video, making you shudder in ecstasy as your fingers toyed with your clit.

The first video ended there. But the next one was even dirtier. As you continued rubbing your clit, your eyes watched Joshua's point of view, as he fucked you slowly. You saw his cock disappearing inside you, and then pulling back out, glistening wet from his arousal and your own.

The faces you made, the noises that escaped your parted lips, your lust-lidded eyes as you kept them trained on him. You remembered then that you were getting more aroused by seeing his own enjoyment, the pleasure he got from having you bound to your bed.

You also heard his breathing through the video, though you couldn't see his face. You ached to see him, to feel him again as the second video came to an end.

The videos were on loop as you worked on your poor throbbing pussy and you came while watching them over and over again. You felt pathetic, tired, furiously needy, and you know a couple of videos wouldn't suffice.

"Joshua, Joshua..." you chanted until your voice was hoarse, your body twitching in your bed.

You had tossed your phone on the pillow beside your head, only getting by the memory of him fucking you, and the sound of the low grunts caught on the video. You touched yourself until your fingers were worn, your poor pussy so wet you couldn't even touch your clit properly without the pads of your fingers slipping.

A chilling shudder shook your body when your phone started buzzing beside your head. You turned to look at the pop-up tab above the video of your boyfriend fucking you. Only to see that he was calling you.

"He-hello?" you croaked and cleared your throat. "Hi."

"Hi, bunny," your boyfriend sighed contentedly. "Am I interrupting something?"

You moved your hand from between your legs and rested it on top of your lower tummy.

"No, not at all," you lied and your voice betrayed you completely.

"Sure, baby? I can call later. I just got to the hotel room and was thinking of catching up with you," he hummed happily, you heard him groan when you assumed by the noise at the other end that he just threw himself onto a bed.

"I'm fine, Josh," you sighed, thinking of what to say. "Ha-how was your day?"

"Are you sick, baby? You sound a little hoarse–,"

"I'm okay," you gulped nervously and closed your eyes shamefully: "I was watching the videos you sent me."

Joshua paused for a second only. "Oh, my sweet girl, you should've just said that," he cooed and you knew by his tone that he was smiling: "Were you touching yourself, baby?"

"I–," you choked out nervously. "Yeah."

"Don't let me stop you, sweetheart," he purred with his honeyed voice and you squeezed your eyes, shaking with a violent shudder that demanded you to continue pleasuring yourself.

"Joshua," you blurted, your voice high and shaky. "I need you."

"What do you need from me, baby? Sounds like you were at it for quite some time, am I right?" he said tauntingly.

"I need you Josh,—I can't anymore," you mumbled coyly.

"You can't what, baby?" he asked, sounding amused and when you didn't give him an immediate reply, he just assumed. "Did you tease that pretty pussy until you can't come anymore?"

"Can you help me? Please Josh," you sighed pathetically, trying to ignore the throbbing of your walls.

"Get your rabbit dildo," he instructed without skipping a beat.

That drew a triumphant grin from you, getting up from your bed you walked to your dresser, where you kept your toys inside a box and got the vibrator. "How did you know I wasn't using my toys?"

"A feeling," he hummed sweetly. "Did you like the videos, baby?"

You settled back in your bed, dildo in one hand, phone in the other pressing against your ear. "Yeah, I did. I wish you recorded for longer, though."

"Maybe I did it on purpose," he replied in a low tone. "Maybe I just wanted you to have a little reminder."

"But I want more," you whined with a pout, knowing that the whiny tone in your voice would work on him. "I need you so bad, Joshua."

"Turn it on," he purred and you carried out his order immediately. When he heard the faint buzzing of your vibrator, he added: "I miss you too, baby. You have no idea. I miss you. I miss your lips. I want you to kiss me more when we make love, will you do that, baby?"

"Ye-yeah, Josh," you stammered. "I will do anything you want me to."

"Mm, baby, you're so good," he sighed softly. "So fucking good to me. Put the tip in, bunny—slowly."

"Mmnah," you moaned as soon as the tip came into contact with your throbbing pussy and you pushed in, slowly as he indicated, but then the slow thrusting motion of the dildo made you squirm a little. "Joshua–,"

"Don't push it all the way in, not yet," he directed, knowing full well that you would do just as he said. So you didn't let the shaft go all the way into the additional part of the dildo that would massage your clit.

"Josh," you sighed, biting back a moan as the slow thrusting of the dildo worked on your pussy. But still, it was not enough.

"I also miss the way you feel around me," he said with a low groan and you shuddered again, delighting over the fact that he too was aroused. "You feel... You feel like nothing else, baby. So fucking addictive."

"Are you–, are you touching yourself too, Josh?" you asked with a high-keen pitch.

"Mm, yeah. I am baby," he purred softly and your body responded with an ecstatic shudder. The truth is he got hard the moment he knew you were playing with yourself.

So there he was, sprawled in his hotel bed, completely naked, cock in his hand languidly pumping himself. "I need you too, bunny. Need to feel you."

You let out a whiny moan in response, feeling like his words were doing more work on your body than the dildo thrusting inside your walls slowly and rhythmically. "Fuck," you whispered. "I need to feel you too, Josh. It–it's not the same."

"Of course it's not the same, bunny," he groaned softly and you heard a soft sigh that resembled a smile. "Does my sweet girl miss my cock?"

You swallowed hard. "Ye-yeah. I miss you, Josh."

"That's not what I asked," he toyed, a small smile on his face as he rolled his hand around his reddened cockhead, smearing his shaft with precum to keep pumping slowly.

"I miss your cock. I need you inside me, need you to fuck me," you blurted out uncontrollably.

Joshua swallowed back a moan upon hearing you talk like that. And you got a taste of what he felt whenever you moaned in his ear when a low, raspy hum poured into your ear and your inner thighs clenched instantly.

"Close your eyes and push the dildo further, turn up the speed for me," you responded with a loud moan when you did. "Just let yourself go. Imagine it's me, can you do that, baby?"

"God, Josh," you moaned as your inner thighs started to shake slightly. You tried to imagine him, inside you instead of the vibrator, and its mechanical thrusting.

"I'm here, sweetheart," he murmured with a low raspy voice that only made your walls throb desperately. "God, I miss your needy pussy too. Always so wet and tight for me, sucking my cock back in. So fucking good, baby."

At that, you felt your walls flutter around the vibrator. Joshua knew how much you loved hearing him talk like that, his honeyed, worn voice pouring into your ear, making your body burn in pure delight. You could only give him a mewling sound in response.

"Yeah, I like hearing that," he said with a low rasp.

"Mmnf–fuck. Josh, I need more," you blurted impatiently when you were just at the edge, but needed more friction in your clit, needed to feel stuffed full. "Can I, babe?"

A pause.

"What did you just call me, baby?" he asked, his voice taut and almost breaking at the end. His lips raised in a smirk and pressed the phone to his ear to listen to your ragged breathing.

"Babe," you sighed a moan, no longer able to contain yourself, your legs twitching involuntarily.

"Fuck," Joshua blurted out in a mere a whisper. His mind reeled with an ecstatic shudder when he realized how much he loved hearing you call him that.

You could've smiled at that if it weren't for the desperate need for release. "Please I need more," you pressed. "Ca-can I go faster?"

"Mmn," a long hum, raw and almost inaudible. His hand gripped his cock tighter, now pumping himself faster. "Yeah, bunny. Go all the way in. Go faster too."

You pushed the dildo inside you with a blissful sigh. "Thank you, babe," you moaned and switched the speed to the one that would get you to come. "God, I need you, Josh."

"Yeah, baby?" he grunted slightly and then he sighed out when he felt his chest cave in. "I need you too. I miss your body and your warmth..."

Your mind had gone blank the minute the rabbit ears of the dildo started rubbing your clit, at the same time that the shaft increased the speed of the steady thrusts.

"Josh, I'm close, baby," you whimpered, lifting your hips from the bed slightly, rolling them as your orgasm drew nearer.

"God," Joshua gasped and swallowed back a moan. "I know you want me to talk dirty right now, baby, but I really fucking miss you."

"I miss you too, Josh," you squeezed your eyes shut, your jaw going slack as your sweet high took over your body, making you moan loudly.

"Fuck, fuck. I'm close too," he breathed, his fist pumping on his cock faster. "Keep doing that, baby. I need to hear you."

"Mmn, Josh," you whimpered lewdly, arching your back on the bed, letting the fiery pleasure consume you at last, crying out in pleasure, walls clenching erratically around the rabbit dildo.

"Joshua," you sobbed. "Baby, I love you."

An ecstatic feeling flooded inside him. A raspy moan coiled in Joshua's throat and he screwed his eyes shut, letting a shaky exhale out as his orgasm spilled all over his hand and abdomen, slowly pumping himself until the last spurts of cum came out of him.

"I love you too, bunny," he replied with a shy murmur.

You turned off the vibrator letting the gentle aftershocks of your orgasm run through your body. "Did you come because I told you that I love you, Josh?" you realized.

"Yeah," he replied and groaned slightly upon hearing your adorable laugh. "Don't laugh at me."

"You're cute," you cooed and then you mimicked him, almost getting his honeyed tone to a point: "Do you like hearing me say that, baby?"

"Of course I do, bunny," he replied with a hint of feigned annoyance. "I think I won't ever get tired of hearing you say it."

"Ever?" you asked, pressing your ear to the phone to hear him sigh and you just knew he was smiling.

"Yeah, I know it sounds cheesy but, I really like when you talk sweet to me," he said with a shy, breathy chuckle.

"Mm, I'll do it more often," you grinned. "You might get sick of me."

"I promise you, I won't," he asserted. "D'you feel better now, baby?"

"Yeah," you exhaled, a gloomy feeling falling upon you. "But I'm sad you're not here to care for me afterwards."

Joshua gave you a disgruntled sound. "I know, I know. But I still need you to do what we normally would do together, okay?" he asked softly and your gut twisted over imagining his eyebrows knitting.

"Mmn, but you're not here to cuddle me," you reproached some more.

"Baby," he pressed firmly.

"Okay, okay," you conceded.

"How about this: we go wash and I'll call you again?" he offered with a softer tone now.

"Mmh yeah, I'd like that," you murmured. And with that, you went and washed your hands thoroughly, and cleaned the vibrator, neatly placing it back to where you kept it.

Afterwards, Joshua videocalled you. And as you talked, you started to feel better, as if the nostalgic feeling was a mere afterthought now. Joshua talked about the city he was in, the hotel room he was staying in and the excitement he felt about his upcoming show.

You have no recollection of when you fell asleep, only that you woke up the following day with a message from Joshua that read: "You've fallen asleep, baby… I hope you don't mind if I keep an eye on you for a few minutes. Before I go to sleep. I love you, bunny."

Attached to that message, was a screenshot of you peacefully asleep, the angle twisted to what you assumed was your hand relaxing around your phone. But your face was in the frame, half buried in the pillow, mouth parted a little. And in the corner, the screenshot showed Joshua's face, smiling fondly at the sight of you.

Yoon Jeonghan is a light sleeper.

That is one of the things that you learned about your boyfriend's best friend, during the time you've got to spend together. With Joshua being away for touring and recording sessions, Jeonghan has been there. Slowly, he has become a close friend of yours and he was pretty adamant on being friends. He was one of a kind in that, just a really good friend.

The night you learned he was a light sleeper was a fun night. You had been hate-watching a reality show together over wine and picking on a charcuterie board. Jeonghan had been visiting every few days now, either to watch a movie together or to silently piece together a Lego set.

"Mm, they're gonna kick him out next," Jeonghan asserted. His injured leg was propped up on the couch directly in front of him, a relaxed look on his face, probably from the alcohol.

"But he's the sweetest," you cooed, glossy eyed watching the screen.

"Yeah, that's why," he nodded, a bright look on his face.

You arched an eyebrow at him. Jeonghan was smart. And not only the book-smart kind of guy. He was a pretty good judge of character, just like yourself. But the theater director could read people like you could books.

"He's too sweet for this show, they let him play just enough to keep viewers hooked and will drop him to cause a bigger shock," he pointed one lithe finger to the screen with a devilish grin on his face.

You clicked your tongue. "You're a terrible viewer," you quipped, making his drowsy-lidded eyes turn to you. "You're getting ahead of the thing before it happens!"

Jeonghan scoffed. "Wanna bet?"

"No," you replied wearily with a pout and turned away sheepishly. "You've won all the bettings I've struck with you."

You heard him giggle. "You could win this one, come on, bet," he nodded to the TV.

"I think the pretty one will be kicked out next," you mused, a small smile bundling up your wine-warmed cheeks.

"Why?" Jeonghan stretched out the word. "She's the hottest one in this show!"

"Well, just like you said," you began. "She's pretty and is in love, so that's out for a show that wants to see them all bumping meats together."

"Bumping meats?" Jeonghan retorted and laughed.

"You know what I mean!" you whined.

"You're like an old lady sometimes," he cackled, bringing his vape pen between his lips and dragging in a puff, letting the smoke cascade out of his mouth.

"Stop smoking in my apartment, Yoon Jeonghan!" you squealed.

"Make me," he chuckled and dragged in another breath.

"You–" you cut yourself off before you could think of an insult and grabbed a cushion from the couch to throw it at his face when he laughed even harder at your shy expression.

The cushion hit him square in the face, but it also fell on top of his hand that was holding the wine glass, toppling it over the couch.

"Oop," you uttered, getting the glass before it fell from the seat and onto the floor. But your couch had already suffered all the damage.

"Oh, princess, I'm sorry," Jeonghan cooed immediately upon seeing the red wine stain settling in the seat of your white couch.

"No, no, it's alright," you mumbled, rising from the couch yourself to get a kitchen towel and coming back to press the dry cloth on it. "It's my fault."

You had knelt in front of the couch to press the kitchen towel to stop it from spreading more. Jeonghan was still sitting down, his knee brushed your arm slightly and he moved from it.

"You can bill me for the cleaning service," he assured, looking down as you still did a feeble attempt to do something.

"No, don't worry about it," you shook your head, the movement making you feel dizzy. "I won't let you."

Jeonghan's lips stretched into a smile slowly. "I don't care what you do, let me take care of it."

You narrowed your eyes at him. Jeonghan stared you down as well, pushing his black hair from the side of his face and tucking it behind his ear.

What broke your stare-down contest was the loud buzzing of your phone that had been long forgotten on the coffee table. You jolted slightly and turned from the man hovering above you and picked up the call.

"Hi, Josh," you cooed, eyeing your friend whose smile just got bigger.

"Baby, I'm facetiming you. Stop pressing the phone to your ear," Joshua laughed.

"Oh," you pulled the phone away and the man beside you scoffed a laugh. "Sorry."

Your boyfriend was lying back on the high pillows of the hotel room, his hair washed up and looking like he wasn't wearing a shirt.

"Do you have someone over?" Joshua frowned slightly. The videofeed in the corner showed the camera pointed at you, and in the background, you could see the coffee table with the charcuterie board, wine bottles and glasses. And Jeonghan's wallet, keys, phone and his vape pen.

"Jeongjeong is here," you nodded and pointed the phone to your boyfriend's best friend.

Jeonghan pressed two fingers to his forehead and saluted the camera with a small. "'Sup."

"What are you two guys doing?" was the first thing Joshua said, eliciting an alarming feeling that crawled down your neck.

Though his tone was simple and unsuspecting of anything, you felt nervous nonetheless. Joshua was quite the possessive boyfriend, but since he went away and you had been getting to know his best friend, he has never said anything negative about it.

"We're hate-watching this show," you started.

"We're in the middle of settling a bet!" Jeonghan interjected, making you chuckle out a drunk laugh.

"Are you drunk, sweetheart?" Joshua caught on immediately after that.

"A bit," you murmured, squinting with one eye and bringing up a hand to pinch two fingers in the air. Joshua smiled when you got to your feet and sat beside Jeonghan, on the side that wasn't spilled with wine. Now your video feed on the corner of your phone screen showed you and Jeonghan.

"What's your bet about now?" Joshua asked, watching you with an amused expression on his face.

"Jeonghan is just taking advantage of my poor financing skills," you slurred.

Jeonghan smirked and your boyfriend did too almost as if on cue.

"Don't let him win, baby," your boyfriend advised, but the tone he used with you made you discreetly tuck your lower lip behind your teeth.

"I'm gonna win again. Until you learn," the man beside you shrugged, brushing his shoulder against yours in the process.

Joshua rolled his eyes with a huff. You watched Jeonghan and back to the screen, feeling like you just missed out on the joke.

"Le-learn what?" you babbled.

"I always win," Jeonghan said with ease, making your boyfriend groan.

You gaped at him. "You're cocky," you rolled your eyes and shook your head at him. "Anyway, how are you, Josh?"

This was sort of a new tradition between you and your boyfriend now, he would facetime you and talk about your day, share thoughts and talk like this for at least an hour.

Joshua sucked in a breath slowly. "Tired," he exhaled. "It was a long session today," he said, his honeyed voice sounding worn.

You pouted slightly. Joshua had been recording with Midnight Haze for their first produced album. Every city they hit, they rent a studio and get to recording so they have to use their hours to finish recording their songs fast.

"Take care of yourself, Josh," you cooed, not caring to be openly affectionate with Jeonghan beside you.

"I'm alright, princess. I'm off to bed," he sighed tiredly but with a content look on his face. "You two continue to have fun, okay?"

"M'kay," you mumbled a bit deflated, you hated the days you couldn't get more time talking to him.

"But not too much fun," your boyfriend's mouth turned into a cheeky grin, the pierced eyebrow quirking up. "Not without me."

Jeonghan leaned on your shoulder, taking most of the frame of the camera. "Bye Joshuji," he chanted and waved with his hand.

"Take care," your boyfriend said, although in your state you understood it as don't drink more than you can handle, and nodded.

"Love you, Josh," you said with all the emotion you could muster without making your friend uncomfortable.

"I love you too, baby," he muttered warmly.

The video feed went out and you were met with your reflection on the screen, your eyes beginning to brim with tears as you tossed your phone on the coffee table.

"What?" Jeonghan blurted at that moment and you sniffed, so he went on: "What, what's going on? Why are you crying?"

You knew your tears were part from all the alcohol overpowering your emotions but you were suddenly overcome with a heart wrenching sadness, and worry.

"Oh no, not again," Jeonghan muttered and clicked his tongue. "Come here," he cooed warmly and wrapped an arm around your shoulders to pull you into a cozy embrace.

"I'm sorry," you stuttered between tears, sniffing loudly. "I just–,"

"I know, you don't need to say it," he muttered with a warm tone. "You miss him, you're getting second thoughts."

"I'm not having second thoughts," you frowned and looked at his eyes, drowsy over the alcohol.

"Really?" he pushed his eyebrows up and gave you a tipsy smile. "Really?"

You sent him a confused look. "I–, I've never said that–"

"You don't have to," he muttered. "I've listened to you and all I hear is you guiltripping yourself and then going on a fucking rabbit hole about not 'being good enough' and not telling him how you feel sooner and, honestly it's just–," he sighed.

Your eyebrows knitted involuntarily. "That's how I sound?"

"Yeah, kinda," he tilted his head side to side. "Listen, I know why you feel like this and I hear you but, I think you're more upset by not seeing him as frequently as you used to. Like a baby who just lost their favorite toy."

You laughed through your tears and Jeonghan responded with a sweet smile of his own. "That's mean, Jeongjeong," you muttered, reaching out for your glass of wine and the bottle, pouring a tiny bit more for you to sip.

"It's just how I see it," he gave you a tight squeeze with his arm before releasing you. "Would you feel better if you go and meet up with him?"

"Yeah, I know I would," you said, leaning your head back on the headrest and looking at the ceiling. "But we're not seeing each other for a couple of weeks. And he will not be able to make it to the book release party, so."

Jeonghan leaned his head back the same as you. You turned to see him, he was frowning slightly, his eyes out of focus. "What if I told you that I just got tickets for his show next Saturday?"

You snorted loudly, nearly choking on your saliva, an act fueled by alcohol. "What?"

"And I can also get you there without Joshua knowing, so it could be a surprise. Then you can talk to him about what's bothering you, " he shrugged and gave you a look. "Maybe even convince him to clear his schedule so he can be here."

"You're being oddly nice," you pointed, narrowing your eyes at him.

"Yeah, well don't get used to it," Jeonghan warned and then let out a sigh through a shy smile.

You sighed, looking at the big wine stain on your couch.

Somehow you couldn't bring yourself to care. You gathered your tears with the back of your hand, sniffing involuntarily before saying: "I want a burger," it was a sad declaration.

Jeonghan snorted. "Right now?" he raised his arm, the screen of his smartwatch lighting up from the movement. "It's one in the morning, I doubt we'll find anything open."

"Mm nah, forget it," you brushed off. "I'll get you another glass, hold on."

You slowly gathered your limbs but before you could get up, Jeonghan stopped you with one hand.

"Don't get up," he muttered quickly. "I can't drink more, I have to drive."

"You're leaving already?" you looked at the screen. "But we have to watch the season's finale."

Jeonghan directed his eyes at you. "Then I'll just drink from your glass, just don't get up. We can't both be disabled at the same time."

"I'm not that drunk," you slurred.

"Pfft, yeah right," he smiled and nodded at the flatscreen. "Let's keep watching."

You don't know how or when you fell asleep. You woke up disoriented, your head had fallen languidly from Jeonghan's shoulder, the abrupt awakening made your heart race and your mind reel with some lucidity.

Did you fall asleep on Jeonghan's shoulder?

He had fallen asleep too, his head leaning on the headrest, the features of his face were relaxed, his eyelids trembling slightly as he snored softly.

The screen was frozen, the faint buzzing sound from its electricity made you look for the remote and turn it off. You left the remote on the coffee table, your fingers bumped slightly with the empty glass of wine.

With that, Jeonghan woke up with a start. "Wha–what?" he mumbled sleepily, his arms stretching out into the air.

"We fell asleep," you mumbled, noticing in your speech how drunk you were still.

"Fuck, we did," he groaned, reaching for his phone on the coffee table.

"You can crash here," you offered. "I can bring you blankets and a decent pillow if you want."

Jeonghan raised his wrist once again, noting that it was already three in the morning. "I appreciate that," he lifted his eyes to look at you. "Thank you."

"Don't mention it," you replied with a shy smile.

Some days later, you flew out to surprise your boyfriend in a foreign country. You realized that it wouldn't take much to convince your boyfriend that you were deep in work and totally not about to take a plane. And the reason why it was easy was because you barely talked anymore, since Joshua was kept busy with his own work.

The ticket that Jeonghan had gotten was for a VIP section, up in the wings on one side close to the stage. There was an ominous buzz coming from the people gathering below, waiting for the lights to go out, waiting for the show to begin.

The excitement that coursed through your entire body when you saw Joshua approach the stage and step under the lights was unparalleled. He looked almost ethereal to you.

The orange glow coming from the overhead light made Joshua's frame look warmer and darker, for some reason. The shadows painted on his face almost gave him a melancholic appearance. His eyes remained closed, and his eyebrows knitted in deep focus as he started singing, his sweet and breathy tone taking over the entire venue.

The very few times you've gotten the opportunity to see him perform live, it has been up close. So now that you were some distance from him, you were overwhelmed by a nostalgic feeling, even if he was there, standing under a spotlight.

Slowly as he strummed the first chords of the opening song, the bass and drums joined in with a splashing crescendo, the whole stage became alight in yellow and purple hues and the crowd lauded in cheers and applause.

The song picked up some pacing and the sound of strenuous metal filled your ears, it banged through your body and took over you with a joyous sway. And it seemed that Joshua was taken over by the same urge to move his body to the happy and faster beat of the song.

Joshua looked elated by the time the first song ended. He smiled and gripped the microphone with one hand, eyes running over the crowd as he lifted the other hand, greeting the crowd by the name of its city.

"This is our first time here and we're excited to be opening for Crimson Moon," Joshua sighed with a pleased grin as the crowd went crazy again and waited until it died down again to say: "We're Midnight Haze and this next song is called Reverie."

Joshua turned to see the drummer's signal. Jihoon nodded at him and started playing right away. Then you watched the rest of Midnight Haze's opening show, you saw the lead singer dance with his guitar and frown while singing until the veins on his neck popped up slightly.

Midnight Haze took a minute before starting to play their last song, Joshua bent over to grab a bottle of water and looked at the sea of people as he gulped slowly and then lowered the bottle. His big brown eyes lifted up to the second level stopping cold when they zeroed on you.

Joshua's gaze softened and his shoulders went slack, he wasn't anticipating you there and it showed in his reaction. Your whole body went alight with exhilaration, making you raise your hand and wave at him, "Hi, baby," you mouthed.

The smile he gave you took over the beautiful features of his face, it was so bright that it seemed to quiet down the low murmur of the crowd. It made your whole world stop.

It was quick: he pressed the tips of his fingers against his lips and motioned the kiss at you. Then he was back on business, grabbing his guitar and a pick from the mic stand.

"This next song is our last, it's called Lights Out."

The song was quick paced and happy. It was one of your favorites because it seemed that every time you listened to its beat, it put you into a chipper mood. It ended with a bang, leaving the crowd ready for the main show.

It seemed that Joshua was eager to finish with his presence onstage and get off, because he just simply came forward, waving to the crowd with a cheerful: "We were Midnight Haze, have an incredible night!" and took the strap of his guitar off his shoulder, and walked out the stage with his bandmates following behind.

You wondered what would happen next. Should you wait until the main show is over to look for him? He must be busy after the show.

The following minutes went by achingly slow. You checked your phone to no avail—thinking that Joshua might reach out to you and tell you what to do next but as the white lights were still on, illuminating the whole venue, you looked, searched for his face,

You checked your phone again, biting your lower lip unsure of what to type, what would be the first thing you would say to him upon seeing him for the first time in days?

So you were beginning to type: where are you, on your phone, pressing send and hoping to see him replying. You waited, tapping the screen with the tip of your finger as if that were going to help change the offline status under your boyfriend's name.

You winced in alarm when two large hands slid onto your waist from behind you, and before you could turn to see, you instantly recognized your boyfriend's touch.

"Hi, baby," he muttered in your ear with a raspy voice. His arms encircled you, pressing you against his tall frame and he buried his face in your shoulder.

"Hi, handsome," you replied warmly.

The crowd cheered and went crazy the moment the stage lights went out, signaling that the main show was about to begin. At that moment, Joshua used his hands on you to turn you around, sinking his lips between yours in a hard kiss.

In the darkness, you tried to palm his chest, finding his sweaty face and neck from the performance he just stepped down from. But you still grabbed his face with your hands to press more kisses on his face.

The main show started with a loud whirring of guitars and a booming voice greeted the crowd from below.

"Come with me," Joshua muttered in your ear, grabbing one of your hands from his face and dragging you through the sea of people. He tugged at your hand to keep you close, maneuvering you to walk in front of him as you both went downstairs.

"Where are we going?" you asked innocently as he pointed you to a dimly lit corridor and now he led the way, away from the stage and the crowd.

The vibrations from the loud music muffled your voice, and it appeared that your boyfriend didn't hear you, but he turned all the same, pulling you from your arm and wrapping you in his again. Joshua was happy, the happiest you've ever seen in his eyes as he lifted you from the floor and twirled on his feet.

"Baby, what are you doing here?" he asked, now you were face to face so you heard him clearly. "I thought you were caught up with the book release."

"I wanted to surprise you," you replied with a shy smile.

He put you back on the ground, but was quick to lean down and capture your lips with his own. "When do you go back?" he asked between shallow kisses.

"Why? Do you want me to leave already?" you joked.

"No, no. I just want to know how much time we'll have," he replied, pulling apart and his brow furrowed.

"I leave on Monday," you replied to his question, seeing his expression change slightly. "I didn't lie, I do have a ton of stuff to get ready."

You saw his eyes roam on your face as he appeared to be thinking about something. "Can't you stay a bit longer?" he asked and then shook his head. "Nevermind. You're here."

His hand slid on the side of your face, grabbing you gently before kissing you, his lips moving on yours perfectly. You moaned when his tongue caressed your lower lip, turning the kiss into one that denoted his need to make you feel how much he missed you.

Joshua took your hand, motioning you to the end of the corridor where a large double door stood with security bodies. You both crossed it and then you were in a large waiting room.

You immediately spotted the other two members of Midnight Haze. Jihoon was sitting on one end of a black couch, and he was speaking with someone beside him, a man who you didn't recognize. Vernon on the other hand, was sitting on a lonely sofa, phone in hand and red cup in the other, scrolling his boredom away.

They were surrounded by small groups of people, seemingly all artists or people in the medium. It seemed like it, at least. When Joshua entered the room, a lot of eyes looked his way, and yours, since he was holding your hand and keeping you close to him.

"Hey, Josh, nice gig," someone said in passing, patting Joshua on the back.

"Thanks, man," Joshua nodded with a polite smile.

Your fingers were laced with his, but you felt like you needed both hands to hold onto his. The room was packed, and you felt tiny amongst the people who stood and stared at you.

You were suddenly hit with the realization that this was something that you would have to get used to. You were Joshua's girlfriend now. The lead singer of the successful band Midnight Haze is slowly rising to fame.

And you weren't sure if you wanted to be caught in the spotlight just yet.

Joshua led you to the end of the room where fewer people gathered, but still, he received a lot of praise as you both made your way over. There was a large table, covered with a black tablecloth and cluttered with snacks of all types.

"Are you hungry?" he asked softly, leaning closer so he would have the chance to talk to you in a sweet tone.

You shook your head silently, looking around to make sure no one kept their watchful eyes on your boyfriend.

He seemed not to notice this. "How did you get here?" he said and then his eyes widened. "Jeonghan. Did he do this?"

"Yeah," you shrugged. "Said he wanted us to have a moment together."

Joshua's brow furrowed in thought for a moment, but then he decided not to expand on that by saying: "I have to stay here for a couple of more minutes and then we can go to the hotel if you want to rest."

You tilted your head to one side, looking at his face. "I just want to be with you, handsome," you mumbled, but it came out like a sweet purr.

Joshua smiled, it was an instant reaction, as if his face didn't know what else to do. "Baby, are you flirting with me right now?"

You nodded shyly, tucking your lower lip between your teeth to avoid smiling.

"In front of all these people?" he muttered, his dark eyes glinting with amusement.

"So what if I am?" you blinked, trying with all your might to keep that composure. "What are you going to do?"

He closed his eyes with a smile, it was a brief gesture but you knew that he was enjoying this. But he kissed your forehead, pressing his lips fully to your skin, making you tilt your head back slightly.

"Behave," he muttered quietly. "I have to talk to some people we're recording with tomorrow and then we leave, okay?"

You smiled complacently and nodded. "Okay, baby," you replied with a sweet tone.

His hand cupped the back of your head and you reached out for his kiss. "Fuck," he whispered into your lips and a smile painted his face, rolling his eyes before he added: "Don't make this harder for me, bunny."

You chuckled and gave your seductive act up. "Fine."

Joshua nodded to the people behind you. "Come. You won't have to say anything, just don't leave my side, okay?"

You quickly understood and grabbed his hand again, which he took proudly as he got close to some guys. Joshua was quick to strike up friendly conversation with them, and you knew that they were some big producers that specialized in a very specific sound that Midnight Haze was interested in.

As the conversation shifted into a language that you couldn't follow anymore, your mind started to drift and with it, your gaze wandered around the room.

That's how you caught sight of her.

The first thing you noticed was her piercing gaze pointed in your direction. She tried to conceal her looking over the moment you spotted her, and she did this by pretending to be looking at her phone screen.

You thought nothing of it at first, a lot of people tend to stare at Joshua. He finds it easy to catch the attention of the people around almost unwillingly, most of it due to his very presence and crushing beauty.

But the second time you looked, and found her staring again, you weren't so sure she was just starstruck. The hair on your nape prickled, and you felt your face contort into a frown but you looked away.

"Nice, I'll let my guys know," you heard Joshua say. "Thank you."

He turned to you and exhaled. "That went well, didn't it?"

You nodded robotically.

"You weren't paying attention, right bunny?" he smiled endearingly at you, grazing your cheek with the back of his finger. "We can go now."

"Joshie, is that you?"

You turned over your shoulder to find the girl approaching you and your boyfriend, a bright smile on her pretty face as she stood closer. Now that you could see her clearer, the striking beauty of her face, her high cheekbones and full pink lips that matched the colored contacts on her eyes.

"Thea... hi," he replied slowly.

"I heard you guys were the opening act for the Crimson boys, but wanted to see that for myself," she locked her hands behind her back.

"Yeah, we are," Joshua added and sent you a brief look. "Uh, Thea, this is my girlfriend," he introduced you by name in an awkward manner, almost as if he had forgotten how to handle social encounters completely.

"Oh," she chirped and looked at you. "Hi."

"Hi. Nice to meet you," you smiled through your shyness.

"So, how long are you guys touring for?" she asked, her bright eyes moving up to see Joshua's face.

"We're going for the rest of this tour leg," he pressed his lips in a smile.

Slowly, you gathered that Thea was another singer. You had seen her face before and maybe heard a song or two from her indie rock band.

"That's great!" Thea squealed and you could see that she was being genuine when she added: "I'm happy for you guys."

A fiery wave flooded your tummy when you saw that, but you quickly brushed it away.

"Thanks, Thea."

Her eyes ignored you completely as they roamed on your boyfriend's frame. "I know how hard you worked for this, Joshie. You deserve it."

You slipped your hand out of his grasp quietly, squeezing his arm as if saying, 'I'll leave you guys to talk,' and went to the snack bar to grab a bottle of water. And to get away from the jealousy eating you from the inside.

You didn't register what happened next, and you made an effort to not look over. The heat on your cheeks from the embarrassment was so bad you stalled at the snack bar for longer than you actually needed.

You sat down on the couch with a small sigh. "Hi, there Vernon," you muttered.

"Hi, there," he replied aloofly and then looked up abruptly: "Oh, hi! What are you doing here? I didn't see you before, when did you get here?"

"I watched you open," you explained with a small smile. "It was good, you guys seem to know what you're doing."

Vernon squinted as he smiled at you. "Yeah, we're good actors, so it seems," he joked too.

Before you could handle yourself, your eyes were darting across the room. Joshua was still talking to Thea, an awkward look on his face as he smiled and nodded again, his eyes drifting towards you.

"Ah, don't worry about that," Vernon told you, probably reading the very evident confusion on your face. His sweet brown eyes were inconspicuously looking over at the scene you just ran away from and then he looked back at you.

"I'm not worried," you were quick to put in a smile. "I'm just not big on socializing, that's all."

"Yeah, I get that," he drew in a breath and nodded. "I get your case I mean. It gets tiring."

"Why are you still here? Don't you prefer to be resting back at the hotel?" you inquired, arching an eyebrow.

"The other guys want to go grab some drinks after the show is over," he shrugged. "I don't want to pass that up."

You nodded slowly, pretending to drink from your water bottle to dart another look. You were feeling more controlled now that you had taken a step back from the situation.

Your phone buzzed in your hand, making you look at the screen.

[10:29 PM] Jeongjeong: how did it go? 👀

That drew a smile on your face nearly instantly, you could imagine the curious look on his face as he typed.

[10:29 PM] you: it's going great. [10:29 PM] Jeongjeong: oof. [10:29 PM] Jeongjeong: do tell [10:29 PM] you: I'm sitting in the waiting room while he's talking to someone right now. [10:29 PM] Jeongjeong: this mf 🙄 i'm calling rn you hold on.

You answered his call upon the first ring.

"Yes?"

"Oh, grandma, it's so nice to hear you," Jeonghan cooed and then laughed.

"Shut up," you hissed, rolling your eyes.

"Get off your ass and walk out, pretend you can't hear me," he instructed.

You paused. "What, why?" you mumbled and darted a look to your boyfriend, who was still deep in conversation with his friend.

"Just do it, grandma," he scoffed and then gave you a deep chuckle.

"Okay, okay," you conceded, getting up from the black couch and walking towards the door you came from. You laughed at yourself when you even put up the act of being unable to hear the other end of the call, by covering your other ear.

"Are you out of his sight yet?" he asked.

"Yeah, I'm in a hallway now," you frowned when a realization dawned on you: "You are a bad influence."

"And you are a pain in my ass. Surprising your stupid boyfriend cost me money, I'm not letting it go to waste," he retorted immediately. "Was he talking to a girl?"

"How did you know?"

"You wouldn't be upset otherwise," he replied with ease. "Now, let's just wait until he takes the bait."

"And then what?" you asked, looking back to the door, to see that it was clear.

"Um, I dunno, lie," you could almost picture him shrugging off.

"I can't just lie to him, Jeonghan," you muttered.

"Well, tell him it was me," he said reluctantly. "Just don't tell him why I called."

"That's called lying by omission," you quipped with a tone of obviousness.

"I know, Einstein," he huffed. "Who do you think you're talking to?"

"The biggest asshole I know."

"Huh," he chuckled. "If you weren't my best friend's girl I'd think you're flirting with me right now."

"Can't you come up with a more original response?" you quipped back. "I know you're trying to keep me talking, Han, but that's not going to work."

"Well, you're not helping either. You're awful at pretending," Jeonghan said calmly.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Is Shua there yet?"

"Answer my question!" you demanded.

"Baby? What's going on?" Joshua called from the other end of the hallway, your stomach dropped and you turned to see your boyfriend approaching you, a worried frown on his face.

"Okay, mission accomplished. Say bye to me and hang up," he directed quietly.

"I gotta go, b-bye," you muttered awkwardly, putting your phone in your back pocket.

Joshua arched his pierced eyebrow. "Everything okay?" he asked, his tone laced with a bit of confusion.

"Yeah, everything is fine," you mumbled with a shrug.

"Who were you talking to?" he asked, his tone coated with ease now and he motioned a hand at you.

You grabbed his hand and started walking beside him back to the waiting room. "Uh, no one," you responded in a faux nonchalant manner.

He stopped abruptly. "Baby," he said firmly, reading your eyes desperately.

"It's nothing, Josh," you gave him an empty smile and to emphasize it, you added a shrug.

Joshua appeared to be pondering over your words for a second. You saw that he still had traces of sweat trickling down the base of his head and onto his neck. You bit down your lower lip.

Your boyfriend straightened when two people passed by, patting him on his shoulder with a, "Nice gig," mentioned. He nodded and pressed his lips in a smile.

"Okay, let's go," he hissed, pulling your hand down the hallway, but turning to a door right before the waiting room. It had a sign that read STOREROOM and pushed the door open, dragging you inside the cramped closet.

It mostly was occupied by guitar cases, mic stands and amp cases. But Joshua found an empty wall where he could corner you, his hands pushing you by the waist until you bumped against the wall.

"Josh," you grabbed one of his wrists when it came up to clench the curve of your waist, his darkened gaze roaming all over your face.

"What's the matter with you, baby?" he asked, a honeyed purr as he leaned closer, the tip of his nose pushing against your own.

"What do you mean?" you breathed anxiously.

Joshua hummed softly as his lips met yours briefly, grazingly. "You walked away from me," he mumbled. "And now you don't want to tell me who you were talking to."

Oh, crap. Should you tell him it was Jeonghan on the phone? His best friend?

"Baby, there's nothing to worry about," you replied, a hand sliding from his shoulder and onto the side of his chest, feeling the buttons of his shirt. "Besides, you were busy talking with your friends. I didn't want to interrupt."

The corner of his mouth raised slightly. "Don't baby me," he growled, pushing your head back by pressing his forehead against yours. "Who were you talking to?"

"No one," you breathed.

"Mmn, right," he purred. "So you were just pretending? To see if I came running, looking for you?"

"Mmmaybe," you cooed, shuddering slightly when you felt his breath caress your lips.

"D'you like to do that?" he gave you a shallow kiss, his lips barely capturing yours.

"Yeah," you mewled, grabbing his face with both hands to kiss him deeply. "I missed you, Josh. Did you miss me?"

"You know I did," he growled, pressing more kisses on your lips. "Like crazy."

"Will you show me, baby?" you mumbled, your voice sounded almost alien to you, a whiny and breathy tone.

"Right here?" he frowned, almost as if he couldn't believe your sudden change in behavior.

"Right here," you nodded.

"Anyone could hear us baby, are you sure?" he inquired, not really looking for an answer, it seemed like he was just taunting you.

"I want this... or do you have something better to do?" you cocked your head to one side looking at him innocently. "Do you still have to tend to your fans?"

Joshua let out a chuckle into your mouth, his hand cupping your cheek as he planted more kisses on your face. "Brat," he whispered before his lips dipped into yours.

Suddenly, your anger and jealousy dissipated, almost as if all you needed were his lips on yours, moving seamlessly, just as all the nights you shared together.

"Are you still on the pill, baby?" he muttered when his hands slid from your waist down to the button of your jeans, undoing it with a sharp tug.

"Yeah," you frowned. "Obviously."

"Mn, why is that obvious?" he inquired, his lips moving to leave a trail of kisses to cheek to the shell of your ear.

"I wanted to be ready for you," you replied in a sing-song pitch.

"Mmn, well that's too bad," his hands dragged your jeans down.

"Why?" you breathed, feeling your brow furrow even deeper.

"I was hoping you weren't," he replied with a smirk. "So I can put a baby in you," he said, just as he kneeled before you.

"Joshua!" you chastised, his smirk turning into a wide cheeky smile.

"Baby," he replied with a small giggle, hooking his fingers on the band of your thong and pulling it down too, so that he could press kisses on your mound, closing his eyes to you before he pulled out his tongue and leave open mouthed kisses on your cunt.

"Mnf," you grabbed the back of his head as he continued to make out with your mound, his hands dragging down your jeans some more, blindly helping you to bring out a leg from your pants.

His tongue slipped between your folds, making a smacking sound with his mouth when he retreated slightly, bringing his pointer and middle finger to part the lips of your pussy to slowly push his tongue against your clit.

You held him by a fistful of dark hair, angling your hips forward so he could have more access with his mouth on your pussy. "Oh, Josh," you moaned with a high pitched tone.

"Do you want me to fuck you right here, baby?" he muttered, lifting his big doe eyes to your own.

Your whole body went ablaze and you instantly nodded without much thought put into it. "Yeah," you breathed out.

Joshua stood up, grabbing your face to angle it for his feathery kisses. "Do you want everyone to know you're mine?"

"Yes," you whispered. "God, yes, Josh."

You automatically searched for his belt, without toying or teasing you loosened it, to then unclasp and unzip his pants. A small chuckle came out of you when you had to untuck the white button up to get to his black boxers.

"I missed you, baby," you mewled, darting a look from the bulge beneath his boxers to his dark eyes.

Joshua let out a soft sigh, his eyes fluttering close when your hand pressed on his clothed hard on. "Missed you too," his voice was barely above a whisper. "You have no idea, bunny."

You pouted at him. "Then why won't you pay attention to me," you whined, your act suddenly broken by a shy smile.

He moved your body on top of a sound amplifier case, the height was just perfect enough for you to sit in, which you did, being forced by his hands searching your thighs to angle you for his body.

"I'm working, baby," he replied shortly, pulling out his hard cock from his briefs, guiding it to your core. "And I told you to wait."

Your hands slid beneath his white button up, gripping his sides tightly as he sank on you in one go. "Umf," you bit down your lip to avoid making more noise.

"Fuck," he whispered, dropping his forehead on yours. "Okay?"

You nodded slightly. "Okay," you breathed, your hands sliding down to his hips to push his boxers down further. "Move, please, Joshua."

He groaned before complying, pushing his hips on you shallowly at first. "God, baby. You're so fucking tight."

You swallowed back a moan, grabbing on his shirt with your fists to search for the buttons blindly, your eyes trained on his.

"Do you want me to put a baby in you, sweetheart?" he asked, not letting go of your sudden confession.

A moan coiled in your throat, making you close your eyes, as his thrusts hit deeply inside you. "Yeah," you mewled, undoing one button at a time. "Want everything with you."

"Mmn," Joshua hummed, pushing his forehead against yours, grazing his lips with yours as he whispered: "Get off the pill."

Your body acted naturally, your legs parting wider for his thrusts, his cock reaching deeper inside you, making you moan lewdly.

"You're not serious," you whispered, parting his white shirt wide to uncover his torso for your view.

"I am," he gasped in your mouth. "I wouldn't joke with this."

"Baby steps, Joshua," you whispered shakily.

"I love you," he responded frantically, grabbing your hips to hold you in place as his thrusts changed in pace, moving faster and deeper against you.

"I love you too," you echoed.

The moan that escaped your mouth reverberated across the small closet, making you gasp and hold onto his shoulders to let him chase his high, his cock ramming inside your walls.

You knew it had to be a quick fuck, so you didn't care if you reached your climax, you were content with the pleasure you got from his cock sliding in and out of you, the faces he made, the soft gasps that left him as he did so.

You leaned back just a bit, angling your cunt for him to fuck open. A lewd whimper bubbled in your chest when he hit a glorious spot inside you, making the features of his face scrunch to muffle a moan.

"Shh," he hissed. "Quiet, baby."

You nodded aloofly, your hands pushing the white button up from his shoulders to uncover more of his beautiful skin to ruin. You first attached your mouth to his, giving him a hungry kiss before dipping your head down on the crook of his neck.

"Fuck," he whispered when you suckled on the sensitive spot of his neck, moving your mouth with a trail of open kisses until you reached his throat.

You sucked on his skin at the base of his throat, delighting on the careless moans that started to leave his mouth now. He didn't relent on the movement of his hips, fucking you with the same deep and controlled pace.

You gritted your teeth, muffling a whimper when the tip of his cock reached a point that made your muscles tighten in response as pleasure took over your body.

"Josh," you mewled, trying to hold onto him, to hold onto reality but your mind was slipping into nothingness, all focus was now on his cock ramming inside you with a deliriously good pace.

"Open your mouth," he growled, and nodded when you gave him a confused look. "Come on."

Before you could do what he asked, his hand came up to your face, using two fingers to open your mouth wide for him. You thought that he would just stick his fingers in your mouth to shut you up. But instead, you watched his lips purse slightly as he spat in your mouth, a low whimper bubbling in your chest.

"Shhh," he smiled menacingly. "Swallow."

You swallowed his spit obediently, closing your mouth but his hand was there to force it open again.

"I didn't tell you to close it again," he purred quietly, sticking his fingers between your lips as he continued to push his cock inside your walls. "Misbehave again and I'll just fuck your mouth, bunny."

Your brows furrowed, and you made a pleading sound.

"You don't want that, right?" he nodded at you and smiled when you pulled your tongue for him to land his spit in before saying: "Good girl."

His spit started to drip down your tongue along with your own drool, beginning to slide down your chin.

"Swallow," he instructed with a low tone and you closed your mouth to do so. "You want my cum inside your pretty cunt, don't you baby?"

You moved your head up and down in sharp nods, a low whimpering moan coming out of you at the sound of that.

"I'm gonna make you a mommy," he gasped, picking up a pace to his thrusts, hitting you deeper, harder.

"Joshua," you gasped, resting your forehead on his shoulder, his button up hanging languidly on his biceps now. "Yes, Josh, please."

His hand shifted from the curve of your waist to the back of your head, while the other just encircled your body so his arm was wrapped around you firmly.

"Fuck, I'm cumming," he groaned when you started sucking love bites below his collarbones. "Are you gonna take it all? So I can put a baby in you?"

You mewled a sound in confirmation, moving your head to face him. "Yeah," you breathed. "Come inside me, Joshua, please."

He sealed his mouth against yours, his thrusts slowing down, languidly fucking his cum inside you with a muffled moan as he kissed you, passionately, breathing erratically with you.

"I love you, baby," he whispered sweetly once he stopped, breathless.

"I love you too, Joshua," you replied in the same manner.

He smiled lazily, his hand moving from the back of your head to cup your cheek. "Let's go to the hotel room. I want to make you feel good too, baby."

You nodded. "Okay."

"Okay," he replied dazedly, his thumb rubbing back and forth on your cheek.

"Are you going to head out first?" you asked innocently, legs beginning to tremble at his sides.

You felt his brow furrow. "No," he mumbled. "You want me to do that?"

"You don't care if we're seen coming out like this?"

"Baby, they probably heard us fucking just now," he gave you a hollow chuckle.

A shock of emotions coursed through you, caused by the odd fixation you had by him fucking you in public spaces. It felt exciting, almost shameful, and so very lewd.

"This is very rockstar of you," you laughed shakily.

"You think so?" he gasped tiredly, pushing his eyebrows up.

You were suddenly struck with the overwhelming beauty of his face. His big brown eyes as he also seemed to be lost in the features of your own face.

"Yeah," you whispered with a shy smile.

"Do you like it, sweetheart?" he purred, leaning down to press small kisses in your lower lip.

"You know I do," you breathed. "I like it when you take me anywhere you can."

He smiled softly, you felt his lips stretch as he did so. "Mmn, I might've turned you into a little sex monster."

You laughed out loud, the sound making your boyfriend's smile wider and brighter.

"Lean back baby, I'm pulling out."

You pushed your hands on the amp case, leaning back as he pulled his cock out of you. A shudder shook you when you caught a glimpse of his wet shaft as his hand tucked it back into his black briefs and fixed his pants.

"Don't move," he whispered, kneeling again so he could gather your panties and hook them around your ankle, dragging them up.

You lifted your hips slightly, looking at the focus written in his face as he helped you get dressed. You reached out to arrange his white shirt again, smiling deviously when you didn't button all the way up, leaving his chest uncovered.

Joshua smiled too when he noticed that you had purposefully left his chest uncovered for everyone to see the red love bites you had planted in his skin, between his collarbones, on his throat and between his pecs.

"Let's go," he said, extending a hand out to you.

Joshua led you back into the waiting room, only to tell the other guys that he was returning to the hotel and that he was spending the night with you instead of going out to get drinks.

You noticed the looks you got from different faces, the small smiles and hushed noises they made as you walked out of the room hand in hand with Joshua.

There was a certain feeling you got from the looks—you knew that the fact that Joshua had just fucked you in a storeroom caused a mixture of shame and excitedness in you. But there was something more, the rush you felt because the looks meant that they knew what you did.

The original issue for your jealousy was a long distant thought now. It seemed almost amusing that you didn't care anymore about the reason why you felt jealous.

It wasn't until you saw her again. Thea was looking your boyfriend's way, the moment causing you no emotion at all now. You couldn't read what you saw in her eyes, and you found it alarming that you didn't care at all.

But then you felt his cum dripping out of you, pooling in your panties. Embarrassment warmed your face, feeling it strum in your eardrums as you tried to hide your face, your fingers wrapped around his hand tightening in a knowing gesture.

Joshua turned his head and gave you a brief look. "I know," he muttered. "Let's get out of here, baby."

He interlocked his fingers with yours, leading you down the long hallway and turned down a darker one, at the end you saw the EXIT sign lit in red neon light. It felt as if you and Joshua were walking away from the booming music, leaving it behind on the stage and escaping into the night.

"The hotel where I'm staying is just down the street," Joshua said, pointing with his thumb over his shoulder. "Do you mind walking?"

You smiled and started walking the way he pointed you to, pulling on his arm.

"Do you want me to carry this for you?" he asked sweetly, tugging the strap of your pretty tote bag from your shoulder and you allowed him to carry it on his shoulder.

"Thank you baby," you smiled at the look of your boyfriend carrying your bag for you.

"So," he sighed, a tired smile on his face as he looked down to find your face. "Do you want kids?"

A surge of heat flooded your entire body, sizzling underneath your skin. You casted a look at the night sky. "Having kids is something I definitely haven't planned for, honestly," you frowned with some thought. "So honestly, I don't know. Why?"

You found his eyes again, his gaze had softened and he pouted at you cutely as he hummed, also in a thoughtful way. "You seemed a little eager," he shrugged.

As you rolled your eyes, a shy smile twitched at the corners of your lips as you asked: "And you?"

"Yeah, I'd like to. Some day."

You stopped walking for a moment, making him stop. "Baby, you don't think we're going a little too fast?"

The corners of his mouth raised a little. "You don't think we need to talk about this?" he retorted.

"Of course," you blinked, your stomach twisting when you saw the cute smile crowning his mouth.

"Let's get to the room first then," he muttered softly, running the back of his finger across your cheek.

When you got to the hotel, Joshua told you to wait in the nice waiting area arranged in the lobby and you watched him approach the counter, drawing the gaze from the front lady.

Propping an elbow in the counter, he leaned slightly forward, giving the lady a polite smile as he prompted a conversation which you weren't within earshot to catch. But you saw your boyfriend look in your direction, smiling softly at the front desk lady and your stomach sank slightly when the lady smiled at you and then to him.

You watched the interaction from afar, wondering what was the cause for those looks both Joshua and the lady sent you until he nodded, smiling brightly at her and you were witness to the power that smile held, because the woman behind the counter looked speechless for a second.

He pushed himself off the counter, tapping once with his hand and then turned to you, a cheeky grin on his face and then he sat down next to you.

"What was all that?" you asked curiously.

"I had to arrange for a room for us," he muttered close to you and grabbed your hand, interlocking his fingers with yours and placing the laced hands on his lap. "And kind Claire there is going to help us with that. Now we have to wait for a bit, baby."

The woman named Claire seemed to perk up at the sound of Joshua mentioning her name. She smiled politely and resumed working on the monitor in front of her.

You sighed and leaned your head against his shoulder, feeling his warmth and catching the scent of his cologne, the freshness of it, the smell of his skin, all mixed up. It made you feel something deep in your being, like being punched in the gut with the realization that you are way into deep now.

"You're tired baby," Joshua said softly when he heard you sigh and took the hand he was already holding to kiss each of your knuckles. "We shower and then we go to bed, does that sound alright?"

From the corner of your eye you caught the sight of the lady smiling at you and Joshua, it was a somewhat sweet smile, as if endearing.

"Don't we need to talk about something, babe?" you answered, lifting your head to meet his sweet brown eyes.

He blinked, as if pushing the matter away. "It can wait," he muttered, bringing a hand to cup your chin. "We can talk about it tomorrow, if you'd like."

"Mr. and Ms. Hong," a polite male voice called, approaching you from the other end of the lobby. "Your room is ready for you."

"Thank you," Joshua replied, getting up from the couch and tugging your arm softly.

Your stomach twisted upon suspecting what had happened at the front desk and you eyed your boyfriend, curiosity in your eyes which he tried to ease by giving you a gentle squeeze to your hand.

You entered the elevator and stood near Joshua, who was humming to a song as he toyed with the keycard to the room. It was a song you didn't know, and you started guessing that it was what Midnight Haze was working at the moment.

"This might be fancier than I expected," Joshua muttered under his breath when you both reached the floor and walked down the hall to a double door. He checked the keycard again with a question written on his face and slided it on the sensor.

"Joshua, what did you tell the lady?" you inquired when he opened the doors to the recently cleaned hotel room.

"Just the truth," he hummed as he closed the door, he read the disbelief in your gaze and he coughed. "I just told her that you came here to surprise me and I needed a bigger room, and... told her that my beautiful wife needed some rest after her long flight, that's all."

Your entire body beamed with ecstasy and adoration. It seemed endearing to you the way Joshua used the word wife to refer to you. He loved it, almost as if it were real.

The room was large, the first thing you saw on entering was the small round table, surrounded by a couple of chairs, followed by a living room, a fake fireplace wall served as a divider to the bedroom, where you could catch a glimpse of the large king-size bed.

The living room was framed by large floor-to-ceiling windows, the curtains were drawn and you could see that there was a balcony overlooking the city skyline.

"I have to go down to get my suitcases and I'll be back," Joshua informed you and left after you nodded in confirmation. You took this time to hop in the shower, the warm water washing the alertness from you and when you came out, you were feeling ready for bed.

You wrapped your body in one of the bathrobes and walked out of the bathroom. The bed looked so inviting that you couldn't resist but to lie in it, curling yourself into a ball and you fought it at first but sleep took you in quickly.

That was until you felt a pair of strong arms lifting you gently and tucking you underneath the heavy covers. Joshua's hard and warm body huddled with yours from behind, burying his nose in your hair to breathe in slowly.

"I missed you so much," he whispered. You realized, as you came out of your slumber that he said this thinking you wouldn't hear.

But you grabbed his hand, squeezing it softly before you turned to face him. "I missed you too," you muttered sweetly at him.

"Did I wake you up?" he whispered, pushing your hair from your face with his hand. "Sorry."

"Don't worry about it," you breathed, bringing a hand to his nape, feeling his long hair, wet from the shower he just took. Joshua blinked slowly, keeping his eyes focused on your face. "Come here."

You used the hand that was already on his nape to bring him for your lips slipping between his as he reciprocated the slow, tender kiss. He moaned in your mouth when your tongue lapped on his lower lip.

Next thing you knew, he was pushing you on your back, pinning you against the soft mattress with his semi-naked body. Your hands immediately attached to his sides, feeling the hard muscles of his lats tense up under your touch.

The kiss deepened, urgency setting in, and now you were the one moaning when his lips littered your jawline with kisses and down your throat. Wide awake now, you felt his fingers search for the knot of your robe, tugging at it lose for him to have access to your naked body.

"Baby," he growled in your mouth, when your fingers hooked in the band of his boxers, the tip of his nose nudged against yours, his hot breath caressing your lips.

"Take me, Joshua," you mewled, pushing the black stretchy fabric down to find his cock with your hand, gently pumping him as you felt it harden on your grasp.

"Let me make love to you, baby," he whispered softly, pinching your chin with his thumb and pointer finger. You nodded and his lips stretched into a smile.

The rest of the night was something you only thought possible within your dreams. Joshua kept his body pressed on yours as he made love to you, rolling his hips slowly against yours, kissing you until he had to gasp for air, his touch so gentle you swallowed back sobs.

His face contorted slightly when he saw your eyelashes wet in tears, but he kept repeating, over and over, that he loved you. He wanted to be yours forever, he wanted you as his wife—he didn't care how soon it was for him to say it.

You fell asleep afterwards, your body laced with his, subconsciously looking for him if either of you drifted apart on the bed. You could feel soft kisses pressed on your shoulder and on your hair. Almost as if even in his sleep he couldn't keep his hands and lips to himself.

The next morning, you woke up to Joshua planting a kiss on your forehead, then the smell of his fresh cologne dragged you out of slumber in a second. "Where are you going?" you muttered.

Joshua was just walking to the door when he heard your voice. "I have a recording session today," he sat down on the bed, grabbing your hand to kiss your knuckles. "We can do something tonight. Go on a date. Would you like that, baby?"

"Yeah," you whispered, still drowsy from the long night. "I'd love that."

Joshua smiled fondly at you, leaning close to you and left a feathery kiss on your lips. "A date it is, then," he whispered before getting up and leaving the room.

So instead of going out on a date, you arranged with the hotel staff to bring a tablecloth, cutlery and wine glasses, and went out to buy candles and a bottle of wine. You set the table with candles and checked the hotel menu for something to order.

But time passed and you waited, sitting all pretty in a dressing gown, hiding the set you had bought for the occasion; which had to be changed into a large T-shirt of Joshua's when he failed to come back at the time he said he would. No phone call, no text to explain himself.

You drank a glass of wine alone and felt miserable again. Blowing out the candles, you went to lie on the big bed and decided to go to sleep. That was until you heard the faint beeping of the door, followed by noises from the living room that made you jump out of bed.

The faux marble tiles were freezing cold under your bare feet as you made your way to the small living room. You had been woken up from a very light sleep in the middle of the night when you heard the soft beeping of the door to your hotel room.

The lonely lamp in one corner of the room had been turned on, so now the room was provided by a soft orange glow on the man sprawled on the black sofa, his legs spread wide apart.

Your boyfriend had his head tilted back, an arm on the headrest, the other over his torso, between his legs there was a short glass of whiskey held by his long fingers. He didn't notice you coming in, and you assumed that he was so tired that he might be falling asleep already.

Walking silently up to him and once you were standing between his knees, you noticed his eyes were open and he was staring mindlessly at the ceiling.

"Hi, baby," he croaked with a low raspy voice as he leaned forward to take a generous gulp of whiskey and set it aside on the coffee table.

"You could've called," you reproached not a second later.

You heard him sigh. "I know. I'm sorry, bunny," he replied, avoiding your eyes. But then a sigh bubbled in his chest when he caught sight of the half empty wine bottle on the small round table, and the lonely glass of wine beside it.

"You're not invited for my next late night dinner," you told him, driving his gaze from the wasted candles on the table to your eyes, you pouted cutely at him, letting him know that you were joking.

"Baby, I'm sorry," he blinked and looking up to lock eyes with you made his look bigger, glinting on the glow of the lamp.

Then he grabbed your hand that was dangling at your side and took it to his lips, kissing your knuckles lightly.

Now that he was looking at you, taking your whole frame in, he noticed you sported one of his clean t-shirts. It didn't fit you properly, obviously, since it was a few sizes too big even for his own body. So the length covered up to your mid thigh and the sleeves reached your elbows.

"Were you sleeping before I got here, sweetheart?" he inquired with a soft tone.

"I was snoozing for a bit. Waiting for you, actually," you muttered back just as he tugged the hand he was still holding, pulling you forward.

You understood what he wanted, so you pressed one knee on the couch just beside him, and then the other to sit on top of him on his lap. His hands circled your waist, giving you a firm squeeze.

"Please forgive me, baby," he insisted for a third time.

The dim lighting of the hotel suite let you appreciate the beautiful features of his face, his big brown eyes, his plump lips, the eyebrows that knitted ever so slightly when you didn't come up with a response.

"I know work is important, babe," you replied slowly. "But at least let me know when our plans change. Deal? Texting me takes you twenty seconds."

You said this while one of your hands started brushing his soft dark hair away from his eyes. You did this almost absentmindedly, as if your hands had a mind on its own. Joshua blinked a few times, but his eyes didn't deter away from your face.

You could tell that he loved it when you reprimanded him like this, the seriousness you would take, but still delivering your sentences with a gentle tone.

"I forgive you. But next time I won't be too forgiving," you told him, smiling playfully.

"Thank you, baby," he smiled too. But it was a small smile, trying to mask the tiredness on his eyes.

But before you could say something more, your boyfriend pressed his lips against yours. Softly at first, almost apologetically. As if trying to test you for any pause or reluctance before his lips dipped between yours.

You tasted the whisky on his tongue once it slipped inside your mouth, his hands flatly placed on your thighs, his fingers digging on your skin.

The black and white plaid shirt he wore felt soft under your skin as you slid your forearms over his shoulders to lace your hands behind his nape.

The rough pads of his fingers grazed your thighs then he moved his hands to your lower back, pushing you forward to make you sit on him fully.

"Josh," you whispered with an unspoken question lingering in your lips, pulling apart from his face to take a good look at him.

The tiredness lingered in the features of his face, but the glint on his eye had taken a darkness to it, a certain hunger you knew too well about him.

"I like how you look with my stuff on," he muttered, it sounded like a breathy growl, almost like the way he sounded in the mornings when he woke up.

"Mm, yeah?" you whispered, tilting your head to one side as your fingers started toying with the hair on the back of his head. "Would you like to see me without it?"

His tongue pushed on his lower lip slowly as he nodded with his head. "Yeah," his voice was now below a murmur. "I'd love that, baby."

You smiled at the sound of that. His hands grabbed the baggy t-shirt on his fists and lifted it up as you also raised your arms for him to take it off you and threw it on the side, leaving you with your boyshort panties only.

"Mm," he hummed happily as he dipped his head to kiss you, a hand sliding on the side of your neck while the other traveled from your thigh to the small of your back.

Then your fingers moved to get the buttons of his plaid shirt, undoing each quite hastily.

"Slow down, baby," he growled into your mouth.

"No," you mumbled back.

"Why are you rushing? We have all night."

"You stood me up," you sulked slightly, even if you had forgiven him, you wouldn't let him off the hook just yet. "Let me have this."

That made Joshua smile, letting you have your fun undoing the buttons of his black and white plaid shirt, which was not buttoned all the way to the neck, only halfway because he wore a black long-sleeve underneath.

Once the shirt was off his shoulders, your hands cupped his face fully, palms pressed to his cheeks as you kissed him with hunger. A small laugh was muffled in your mouth when your hands moved onto his black t-shirt, probably laughing at your impatience.

"You're so hot," you breathed, not caring how needy you sounded. A sigh left your lips, running your hands over his lean chest, over the angry red hickeys you made the night prior in the middle of the storeroom quickie.

His hand captured your chin, caressing your soft skin with his calloused fingertips. The sensation made you shudder a bit.

"C'mere," he motioned you over to kiss you fervently, making you moan in his mouth when his hands roamed all over your body and stopping to cup your butt, pushing you slowly so you could grind on his crotch.

You held onto the headrest with your hands just before you could push your clothed pussy on the growing bulge in his jeans, moving your hips so that your clit was angled to the rough fabric of his clothing.

With a soft moan that landed on his lips, you sneaked a look down his body, his naked torso, the hickeys on his chest, the messy look on his hair, the lust-lidded eyes when you looked back at his face.

"Bunny," he muttered in your mouth, patting the side of your thigh softly. "Get up."

Before you could stop yourself, you obeyed all too willfully, removing yourself from his lap. His hands were immediately working on removing your panties, sliding them down your legs and you stepped out of them when they fell to your ankles.

His hands were seizing you by your hips just when you started to move onto his lap again. "Stay still, baby," he instructed, leaning his head to litter kisses across your tummy.

"Josh. No teasing," you urged when you felt his tongue brush on the spot below your belly button, your hands cupped the back of his head, following his trail down to your mound.

"Shh, don't get bratty now," he said, his voice honeying over the warning.

"Bratty?" you repeated, trying not to squirm on his grasp when his lips kissed the lowest point of your mound, your sensitive skin reacting with his delicate touch.

"You heard that right," he bit back softly against your skin.

"You stood me up," you whined, your fingers curling on his soft black hair when you felt his teeth grazing your sensitive skin. "I'm not being bratty," you put emphasis over the last word, mocking it.

"I thought you had forgiven me, baby," he lifted his head from the apex of your thighs, raising his pierced eyebrow at you.

You brushed his bangs from his forehead. "That doesn't mean my feelings aren't hurt."

He smiled slowly, totally telling on your intentions. "What do I have to do to get your complete forgiveness?"

You rolled your eyes at his dramatic intonation. "Just don't do it again," you muttered and then nodded back. "Keep going, Josh."

One hand slid down from your waist to caress your leg, you could feel the worn pads of his fingers from playing guitar the whole day.

"Mm," he hummed thoughtfully, his eyes following your face down to your whole body. "Where is this attitude coming from? You've been really bratty since last night."

You saw the glint in his eye again, he was amused by your small tantrum. It was clear to both of you that the reason didn't stem from being stood up by him. There was more.

You shook your head. "'s nothing," you mumbled.

"After this, will you tell me?" he asked and you could tell he wasn't playing anymore.

"Yeah. I will, Josh," you reassured with a small smile.

His eyes read your face with a glint of adoration in them that made your stomach twist, he blinked slowly at you, releasing a short sigh. "I need you so bad, baby," he muttered and leaned in again to kiss your tummy.

"Did you have a bad recording session?" you finally caught on.

Joshua immediately groaned, but softly, making you feel his breath brushing against your lower tummy. "I don't wanna talk about it right now," he muttered. "But yeah. It didn't come out as I expected."

The pad of your thumb brushed over the pierced eyebrow, making his eyelids flutter a bit. "Are you upset about it?"

His hand shifted on your waist just slightly. "No, baby," he frowned, he sucked in a breath through his teeth. "Well, only at myself."

"Would you… like to take it out on me?" your voice dropped to a whisper.

Rare were the times when you mustered such boldness. But ever since your bond with Joshua started to get stronger, the innate shyness revolving around intimate things had started to fade.

"No, bunny," he mumbled, discarding the idea by nodding his head to the side.

"I mean it," you insisted, now tugging at his earlobe with your fingers, toying a little with the piercings on the shell of his ear. "I want it."

Joshua licked his lips briefly, contemplating your proposition again with a calmed darkness in his doe eyes. "Are you sure, baby?"

"I wouldn't be asking if I wasn't."

He read you just a moment before he closed his eyes, leaning his face forward to press his lips in your bare tummy once again. "You know what to do, right?"

Your hand went back to cup the back of his head. "Yes," you whispered, referring to using your safeword whenever necessary.

"That's my girl," he growled softly against your skin, his hot breath making you shudder.

"Mm-mmph," you hummed briefly, letting yourself close your eyes as your boyfriend's grip on your hips tightened a bit.

Joshua hummed after you, leaving a trail of kisses down from your belly button to your mound again, as if that was all he wanted before you interrupted.

"My sweet girl," he whispered almost lovingly against your skin.

He motioned your leg over, making you step on the black couch. Now your leg was angled perfectly for him to dip his head in, pushing his tongue flush in between your pussy lips, as if he were making out with your cunt sloppily, noisily.

"Joshua," you moaned, your fingers tangling on his long hair and holding onto his locks.

He only gave you a low hum in response, shoving his tongue against your clit, teasing it with open kisses. His grip tightened when you squirmed, his fingers digging into your muscle, the hand was located on your hip circled back to cup your butt while the other kept your leg angled open for him.

"God, Josh!" you squealed when he grazed your clit with his teeth gently, but the sensation was overwhelming.

"Hm?" he raised his eyes to match yours, shifting to litter your mound with kisses.

"Too much," you mumbled sheepishly.

"Is it bad?" he asked with a hint of concern.

You shook your head slowly, feeling a rush of warmth tingling on your cheeks.

"If it feels good don't stop me," he replied gruffly, arching his eyebrow at you. "I thought you knew this already, baby."

"Yeah. Sorry," you breathed.

The palm that was firmly placed on your butt lifted only to give you a gentle pat. "Get on all fours, bunny," he muttered and nodded to the chaise longue close to the wide windows that led to the balcony.

As you propped up your knees on the black velvet chaise, you looked up to find your reflection painted on the glass window, a thought crossed your mind—your boyfriend was being soft with you. Granted, he had admitted already that he's into harder stuff than what he has done with you. But this was, to say the least, upsetting.

"Are you holding back?" you asked as soon as you lowered your hands on the cushions.

"No, I'm not," he replied simply, making you cast a look at the man that was still wearing his jeans, torso in full display.

His hair was so long now that his bangs reached the dark circles under his eyes, shadowing his beautiful doe eyes.

"I think you are," you teased, turning to the reflection on the glass now smiling to yourself. "Don't hold back, Josh. I'm not going to break."

The metallic sound of the buckle of his belt made you turn your head to see your boyfriend again. Joshua rolled his eyes and shook his head slightly, he didn't seem annoyed, but the flat tone on his next words made you rethink.

"Stand up straight, wrists on your back."

You had a good view of what happened behind you as you stood back onto your knees, placing your wrists on your back as your boyfriend closed in on you, biting his lower lip as he looped his belt around your wrists.

A low grunt coiled in his throat when he tightened the belt on your wrists, puncturing another hole in it to avoid it unbuckling. He gave it a harsh tug before his eyes zeroed on your face through the reflection on the glass door.

You saw him lean in, so that his lips brushed against the shell of your ear. "Will you be good for me, bunny?"

"Yeah," you whispered shakily, anticipating what Joshua would do next.

"Now bend over," he instructed after he kissed your ear softly.

"But–"

"Don't worry, I got you," he tightened his grip on your bound wrists. "Bend over."

You gulped hard, releasing a nervous sigh before you bent over, steady at first until your face was some eight inches from the seat, not falling onto your nose all due to your boyfriend helping you ease the side of your face against the velvet cushion of the seat.

"I wanted to take my time with you tonight," you heard him sigh in disapproval. "But you had to be so impatient."

"It's not my fault," you whispered. "You haven't been here and I just wanted to—fuck!" you yelped and almost stumbled when his hand came down to spank your ass suddenly.

"I didn't say you could talk back," he ran his hand over the tingling area, cooing softly: "Talking back, throwing tantrums at me. You know what happens when you misbehave. Right, bunny?"

You closed your eyes and nodded. "Yes," you replied.

His hands grabbed you by the hips. "Open your legs," he said softly and you carried out his instruction, widening your stance, gaining more stability to avoid tumbling on the chaise.

Now you were quite completely submitted to him. Your fingers tightened on the leather material of his belt, your wrists with little to no space to budge on the makeshift bondage. Ass up, knees wide apart, face pressed to the seat of the velvet chaise.

"You look so good like this, bunny," you heard him mutter behind you, his hand caressing your lower back lightly, beneath your bound hands, making your eyelids flutter under the tingling sensation.

"Do you want to record this?" you replied mutedly, trying to keep it in you how much you liked to be subdued by his control.

"No," you felt the chaise shift under the weight of one of his knees pressing to the edge. "I have a better idea, bunny. If you behave."

You tried to move slightly to get a view of him on the glass door. He had lost the jeans and was now wearing black briefs only. Propping one knee behind you, your boyfriend was looking at your body, as if trying to decide what to do first before he leaned over you, then you saw one hand press beside you.

Then his lips were on the back of your exposed neck, his fingers moving your hair to the side as he littered your back with wet kisses, slowly, you even felt his breath and when he licked his own lips to kiss you again, knowing well that it was a sensitive area for you.

You squirmed slightly, groaning when your skin awoke with a violent shudder.

"Don't move, bunny," he muttered with his honeyed voice, pressing his lips on your shoulder blade. "If you do, I won't release your hands," he conditioned.

You bit your lip before you could scoff at that. Something told you he wasn't in the mood for more of your taunting. "Okay," you breathed, bracing yourself for more of his delicate kisses.

Joshua left a trail of kisses until he reached your hands, it was then that he moved back, grabbing your hips with his hands and you let out a sharp breath when you felt a kiss on one of your buttocks.

You heard him hum softly against your skin, the reflection on the glass showed your boyfriend on one knee on the floor, his hands traveling from your hips down to cup your ass as his lips kissed the sensitive spot beside your cunt.

You screwed your eyes shut when Joshua ran his tongue between your folds, tasting how aroused you were from the situation alone, from his taunting kisses, from his entire demeanor over you.

"Fuck-k," you squeaked out when he groaned against your sopping core, dipping his tongue in, his hands firmly grabbing you as he pushed his wet muscle against your entrance.

But you dare not move, even if you felt like you could. You let out a raw moan against the black velvet as his tongue ran flatly across your folds, giving your cunt broad and generous strokes, not committing to one motion at all, eating you out sloppily.

"Joshua," you moaned, trying to get as much pleasure from the teasing. "Fuck—babe, please," you whimpered pathetically.

He hummed again, the sound interrupted only by the smacking noise coming from his lips giving your cunt open and deep kisses. You realized then that he didn't seek your pleasure out of this, he was only trying to draw out your arousal, to prep you for something else.

"Please," you begged for more, for something you could use to come.

His tongue glided from your clit, up to your entrance drinking your juices before he continued up, ignoring your whimpers, fingertips digging into your flesh as he gave you a soft, slow stroke with his tongue around your hole, leaving a prickling sensation over, so overwhelming you felt your whole body try to tense and to recoil from feeling good.

"Remember what I said," he told you with a low tone, immediately reading your body language.

You gave him a nod, even if you weren't sure he'd see it. If it felt good, there was no need to stop it. So you tried to relax, breathing in as his tongue lapped again around the tender and very sensitive area, making your fingers curl around the belt you were still restrained by, the feeling so arousing like you've never felt before.

The sensation was too much, it felt undeniably good, a wave of sweet pleasure coursing through your whole body. You felt your pussy throb at each lap of his tongue, stroking slowly around your hole, making it go lax ever so slightly.

The room had fallen silent, the only thing you could hear was his low hums against your skin, the wet sound from his mouth every time he gave another lap over your sensitive ridges with his tongue. Even the voice in your mind had died.

He kissed one of your glutes again, moving one hand to tease your hole with the tip of his finger.

"Josh," you moaned weakly, pressing your face onto the seat cushion to wipe the drool from the corner of your mouth.

"You have the prettiest ass," he hummed entrancingly. "Want me to buy you plugs?"

He pushed one finger in, you screwed your eyes shut again and pressed your face plush against the seat to avoid squirming.

"Mm-mmph," you moaned in affirmation loud enough for him to hear.

"You're being so good for me right now," he cooed softly, dragging his finger out slowly. "Almost forgot how bratty you were before this. You like that, bunny?"

"Mm-mmph," you managed to nod again.

"Want me to fuck you like this?" he asked and you moved your head to peak at the reflection.

"Please, Josh," you gasped at the mere thought.

You saw his reflection rise to his feet. "Without prepping you first, baby? You're not even taking my whole thumb right now," he pointed humbly. "Do you think you can take me?"

You paused, feeling his thumb push in and out gently, making you groan again. The mild penetration was enough to make you feel pleasure, you tried to imagine the same thing but instead of his thumb, with his cock and you immediately gulped.

"Mm? I need an answer baby," he pressed, his tone playful, you caught a shadow of a smile through the reflection.

"Just fuck me," you blurted impatiently with a mewling tone. "Please, Joshua. Fuck me."

"Mmm, you think you deserve it?" he titled his head to one side. "I don't think so."

"Please—I'm being good," you gasped when he pushed his thumb deeper.

"I think we can agree that you need more prepping, baby," he tutted, pulling his thumb out, making you gasp at the loss of stimulation.

"I'll do anything, please, just–"

Then you felt his grip on the belt and gave it a small tug. "I'm pulling you up, ready?"

You got up on your knees with his help, the motion almost made you feel lightheaded but came back to your senses rapidly when you felt the belt loose around your wrists. Joshua threw the belt on the floor.

Your wrists were marked around where the belt held you tight, but you paid little heed to it, your hands were now free to tend to the bulge beneath his boxers, which you yanked down all too excitedly.

A shudder tore through your body when you saw his hard cock spring out of his boxers, his pinkish red tip dripping with precum. You instinctively reached out with a hand to touch, but your boyfriend seized it quickly.

"Josh? What are you doing?" you asked when he dragged you to the balcony, sliding the glass door open to welcome in a cold midnight breeze into the hotel suite.

"Do you still want me to fuck you in public? For everyone to know?" he asked, as you both stepped out to the balcony, wholly naked.

Your eyes locked with his briefly and you have him half a nod, a question lingering on the tip of your tongue. But you concluded that this was his intention all along when you first prompted him to record you and he declined.

"Hands on the railing, bunny," he instructed.

You gasped when he pressed the front of his body to your back, his hard cock wedging in your butt as you did what he told you, holding the cold metal railing of the balcony with a big breath.

The city was buzzing with nightlife, as you would expect during a friday night, the hotel was located at the heart of the city too, so you were quite literally facing another big building, you could see each light turning on as another was snuffed simultaneously.

"Nervous, bunny?" he asked in your ear, grabbing your hips and pulling them to his, and you bent over slightly for him, the movement felt almost natural. "I'll take that as a no," he muttered with a chuckle.

All the teasing, stimulating using his mouth and fingers did so that you were aching for more, your body pulsated for more. So when you felt the tip of his cock nudging at your entrance, you almost considered pleading with him to stop teasing you.

But as if reading your mind, he slid inside you in one go to his hilt with a low moan from his part and without any preamble, he started thrusting. He gave you no pause for you to adjust, to take in the sheer size of his cock stuffing you up so good it made you gasp.

"Fuck," you groaned through clenched teeth when his cockhead immediately found that glorious spot inside you.

"Do you like this, baby?" he muttered and you nodded with your head, biting your lower lip to avoid being heard. "Why so quiet now?"

You couldn't think of a good response at that, your mind going blank from the pleasure coursing through your body.

Joshua leaned over you, pressing his chest to your back without relenting on his deep thrusts. "Don't shy away now, baby," he grunted against your shoulder. "Wanna hear those pretty sounds you make for me."

He adjusted himself again pushing one hand against the small of your back, so you were now fully bent for him, tits hanging over the balcony railings, still holding with your hands. Your face burning up when you caught sight of the balconies below you, the cars far down on the street. The vulnerability you felt at that moment urged you to hide, to cover up.

But there was no shying away now, not when your boyfriend read your silence so well.

"Joshua!" you gasped loudly when he started plowing on you, the sound of his front slamming on your butt the only thing filling your ears.

"That's it, baby," you heard him say through a sigh making you turn to cast a look over your shoulder.

His darkened eyes were set on you, on your body bouncing on his hard and deep thrusts. Your boyfriend showed you a fucked out grin when he caught your eye looking over. Blinking slowly, you saw his throat bobbing when he swallowed back a moan. "Fuck, baby, hear that? You're gonna have an audience."

"Fuckfuckfuck," you screwed your eyes shut when you heard voices on the balcony directly below you.

You clamped down a hand on your mouth, trying to muffle your cries of pleasure as your boyfriend continued plowing on you with little care if you were seen or heard.

"No, no, no, don't hold back, bunny," he told you now. Then he raised a hand and brought it down on your ass harshly, drawing out a moan from his part when your walls clenched around him.

"Fuck!" you yelped loudly, the sound of your voice quieted down the fuss going on the balcony below. You held the rails with your hands. "Josh, please."

"You wanted me to fuck you like this, bunny," he reminded you, noticing the same thing you did. "Now everyone knows you're mine."

"God, fuck," you blurted, keeping an eye over the balcony in case someone thought of looking up, then you would need to hide.

"I want to hear you bunny," he groaned breathlessly, spanking you one more time, firmer this time, making your walls squeeze around him and you knew he liked it too when you heard a low guttural moan escape him.

"Arrgh, Joshua!" you cried in a high-pitch tone, your eyes welling up with tears, feeling a mixture of embarrassment and pleasure coursing through you.

"That's right, baby. It's me who's making you feel like this," you heard him grunt slightly.

"It's all you, Josh," you gasped, trying to close your eyes to the city around you, but the exposedness kept you alert.

"D'you like this baby?" he purred with a hollow laugh when you gave him a big nod with your head. "Yeah? My baby likes being fucked in the open, for everyone to see."

"Mmph, yeah, I do—fuck," you mewled out, but then you felt him tease around your hole again. A finger pushing in, slowly at first, but deeper this time, sending you a hot wave of pleasure. "Fuck, Josh. Babe, I–"

"Don't hold back," he reminded you, his voice strained and you knew he was close too.

You could hear hushed voices coming from the balcony below and muffled laughs between the slapping of Joshua's skin against yours. You tried so hard to contain yourself but couldn't under the amount of pleasure building on your body, making you gasp and mewl out incoherent, half thoughts.

"Joshua, I can't," you gasped. "I'm so—fuck, babe! So close," you blurted, your voice raw.

"Gonna come, baby? You're gonna come on this cock, hm?" he asked tauntingly and you didn't need to see him to know that he was smiling.

Your body was immersed in pleasure like never before. The feeling of his finger pushing gently in and out of your hole added a pressure to your release building up inside you.

"Yes! God, yes, 'm so close, Josh," you sighed a moan.

"Come, baby," he whispered impatiently now. "Come all over my cock."

Then the tension in your body snapped, then it was all sweet, sweet pleasure as you came undone, back arching, jaw going slack. "Josh, god, fuck, Joshua!" you cried out lewdly, your voice rang hoarse, breaking through the night.

"Fuck, I'm cumming too," he said through a breath, then a guttural moan followed, his fingertips digging on your hip so hard you knew it would leave marks.

But his hips continued to slam hard against you, pushing his cock deeper inside your pulsating walls as he came with you, fucking you through your long and very loud orgasm. You heard his raw moans over yours, felt his cum dripping down your thigh right after.

The thrusts came to a halt sloppily and gently removed his thumb from your hole when he felt you come down from your high. You had your eyes closed but you could hear the faint sounds of your little audience below, the hushed exchange of comments and small laughs.

Joshua's arms came to wrap your body, pulling you off the balcony rails in one sudden movement. He pressed you tightly against him, peppering your shoulder with kisses, you felt him breathing hard on your neck, prickling your skin.

"I love you, I love you," he whispered in your ear.

"I love you too, Joshua," you replied, leaning your head back on his shoulder.

"You did so good, bunny," he sighed before kissing your hair.

You closed your eyes weakly, the buzz of the city seemed to die when you caught the sound of his hard breaths, the stutter of his heartbeat vibrating against your body.

"Will you tell me what happened at the session?" you asked in a hum, lowering your head to kiss the forearm wrapping you by your shoulders.

"Yeah. Will you tell me what's going on with you?" he asked in return, still panting hard in your ear.

You gave him a small smile. "Yeah."

"In the shower?" he added tentatively.

"Definitely."

"Let's go," he mumbled, still breathless.

But he pulled out and motioned you over to his arms, which carried you bridal-style to the bathroom. Joshua didn't see you smiling happily at him, but you could see his features had relaxed considerably, his whole demeanor had changed.

"I was upset with you," you mumbled out the words slowly with a sigh as he lowered you onto the floor.

"Was?" your boyfriend inquired before turning to turn the shower on, sticking out a hand to test the water temperature.

"Was," you reassured, nodding your head.

"Why?"

"I felt like I made an effort to come visit you, but you haven't had time for me at all," you replied, trying to mask your hurt feelings under a shrug.

Joshua held out a hand for you as he stepped into the shower and you followed him.

"I didn't stand you up on purpose," he muttered and then pouted. "You know that, right baby? I was busy."

"I know, babe," you conceded softly. "Maybe it's time for us to accept that we're going to be busier than before."

"We'll manage," he asserted, grabbing one of your hands to kiss your knuckles, to then brace your arm over his shoulder, and you did the same with your other arm, encircling his neck loosely.

"I know we will, Josh," you pressed your lips in a smile.

"Is that it? Or is there something else that made you upset?" he pried, reading your face.

You paused, then shook your head slightly. "It's nothing," you whispered, using one hand to push his wet bangs back from his forehead.

"Baby," he mumbled reproachfully. "We promised we would tell each other everything."

"I'm just being dumb. I swear it's nothing serious," you insisted.

"If that's the case, might as well tell me, right?"

You rolled your eyes, he was right. "I felt a little jealous," you muttered reluctantly, avoiding his eyes.

"What? Why? When?" he blurted and you darted a look back to his face to see him frowning.

"Last night at the backstage," you started. "The friend you introduced to me last night, Thea."

"What about her, baby?" he smiled softly, the expression on his face changed from confusion to amusement.

"She was cute. And you seemed to be pretty close too," you added sheepishly, trying to hold his gaze but it felt nearly impossible.

"I barely even said anything to her," Joshua chuckled briefly, but not in a condescending way, his eyes looking at you fondly.

"But I felt something, okay?" you replied impishly, trying not to let your feelings show.

"Bunny, she is an old friend," he explained with a shrug that denoted his easiness about the subject: "Whatever happened between us, happened years ago. It means nothing to me."

You pushed your eyebrows up. "So something did happen between you?"

"A long time ago," he showed you a small smile, lowering his gaze so his eyes seemed bigger. "It was just sex, nothing more."

"Are you sure?" you mumbled.

"Yeah, baby," he replied shortly, wrapping one arm around your waist. "Completely sure."

You were slowly connecting the dots, reading the glint in his dark eyes. You pushed a hand on his forehead, combing his long dark hair back. "Are you turned on by this, babe?"

Joshua nodded, running the tip of his tongue on his lower lip before sinking his teeth down on it.

You couldn't deny that you also felt aroused by his reassurance over you. You felt how much he wanted you, and you could see it in his eyes.

"Why were you jealous, bunny?" he asked, his half-lidded eyes reading the features of your face. "I barely even held a conversation with her for a minute."

You darted a look down on his body, only to find out that your boyfriend was hard already, his erection pressing on your lower tummy the moment he pulled you to his warm and wet body.

"Mm," you huffed, starting to feel a little lightheaded, the warmth, the steam, his amused eyes on you. "I just was. I didn't like the way she looked at you," you mumbled out.

Joshua reached down, a hand curving over your thigh and pulled it up to wrap around his hip, propping one foot over the rim of the bathtub, so your thigh was resting comfortably. Now with his hand freed, he wasted no time, grabbing his cock and guiding it to your core, sheathing himself inside you with a low moan from your part.

"Feel that?" he growled, resting his forehead on top of yours, droplets of water falling into your parted mouth. "You drive me crazy. No one has ever made me feel this way. No one but you."

Your eyelids fluttered uncontrollably, warm water ran down your faces but you couldn't tear your eyes from your boyfriend's face, his beautiful lips.

"Joshua," you moaned, holding onto his shoulders for more support as you started moving your hips in a gentle sway, back and forth, not hard nor fast. Just feeling him, completely hard inside you.

"I'm here, baby," he muttered with a ragged sigh. "I'm yours."

Adrenaline, dopamine, whatever it was, ran in a frenzied rush across your body, shocking you over how deeply fascinated the sound of those words made you feel.

"Mine," you replied entrancingly.

He nodded with a small movement. "No one else's. You're the only woman I want. The woman I love."

A broken moan escaped you and you pressed your crotch down to his hilt, unable to roll your hips to your own satisfaction. Joshua noticed your struggle, his hands gripping your hips tightly, forcing you to rut against him with more purpose.

"I'm here baby," he repeated with a low rasp. "I love you."

"I love you," you sobbed back.

"I never wanted someone the way I want you," he confessed, tilting his head forward, forehead bumping with yours as he continued to help you roll your hips on him. "I'm crazy about you, baby. You don't even know."

You tried to keep your eyes trained on him, on the beautiful features of his face, the droplets of water running down his face, his trembling eyelids, the parted lips as he let out breathy moans.

"Before you, I had given up the idea of finding someone for me. I didn't care, I thought I was fine being on my own," he whispered, and you could tell that he was trying hard to keep himself vulnerable.

You moved a hand from his shoulder to cup his face, Joshua leaned against your touch and he opened his eyes, blinking lazily to find yours.

"I want you so fucking much," he gave you a delirious laugh. "I am so in love with you."

You pushed his wet long hair away from his face so you could see his pretty face, ignoring the tears brimming in your eyes.

His pretty lips parted to let out a disgruntled moan, the sound reverberating inside the shower walls, sending a powerful shiver through your body.

"Fuck," Joshua breathed, his eyebrows knitting slightly. "Baby, come for me. I want you to come first," he said through a ragged breath, his hands moving your hips with more urgency now.

The emotions you felt at that moment had robbed you of your voice, so you could only nod at him in affirmation before removing the hand cupping his chin and tucking it between your body and his.

Joshua swallowed hard at the sight of you starting to rub your clit with fast swirls. "That's it, baby," he nodded, his voice was raspy now. His forehead dropped on yours again, breathing hard from a mixture of exhaustion and pleasure.

Your orgasm came fast, making you convulse slightly against his body, you tried to keep your eyes locked with his, as he watched your mouth part and your eyebrows knit together.

"Baby," you cooed, your voice surprisingly sweet and low. "I love you."

His eyes fluttered close, a shudder shaking his body, making his lower lip drop, a low raspy moan escaping him as he emptied himself inside you.

You clashed your mouth with his, your arms encircling his neck to hold onto him, the euphoric feeling of being so in love making you want to melt into his arms.

"I love you too, bunny," he gasped.

Joshua's hand blindly searched for the tap before shutting it off. His eyes read the features of your face with some thought. "I know we're both new to this. But we have to trust each other, baby," he muttered, leaning down to press a kiss on your forehead.

"I do trust you," you replied with a shy mutter.

His gaze softened, appearing to understand everything now and then he nodded quietly. "We understand each other, then," he whispered, turning around and reached out for a towel, which he wrapped around his waist and then he took another one, wrapping your body with it.

A small squeal left your mouth when he sloppily lifted you from the ground, carrying you bridal style again and to the bedroom. "Are you hungry? I can order room service."

You caressed his cheek, and smiled when you were showered by some droplets of water that fell from his wet hair and onto your face. "Can we order pancakes? And strawberry milkshakes?"

He smiled endearingly at you. "Anything my baby wants," he muttered, placing you gently on the bed. "I'll make the call and then we'll talk, okay?"

In the few minutes it took him to place the order, you got up from the bed and went looking for the T-shirt you were wearing earlier. It had been thrown to the side of the couch and you put it on in one go.

You were about to turn to head towards the bed when you were hugged from behind, the surprise sent a shock down your spine but you welcomed it with a short chuckle.

"Your pancakes will be here shortly, Ms. Hong," Joshua whispered in your ear, moving a hand that was pressing on your tummy to move back your wet hair to kiss your cheek.

"I like the sound of that," you replied with a sweet smile.

"The pancakes?" he taunted with a cheeky grin.

"Being Ms. Hong too," you said.

Joshua paused, almost as if he hadn't expected you to say it, let alone turn to look at him. He must have read the honesty and love in your face, because he remained speechless.

"Baby, are you serious?" he asked, his voice was rendered a mere whisper. A slow smile crept in his face and when you didn't immediately answer, he added: "Let me get the ring. Hold on."

"Shut up," you gasped with a nervous laugh. "You don't have a ring."

"How do you know that?" he pressed a feathery kiss in your lips, his pointer and middle finger caressing your cheek, holding your chin. "I might do."

You turned in his embrace, encircling his neck with your arms, his hands followed your movement, firmly placing them on your waist. "You need to slow down, Joshua Hong," you whispered, moving your hands to his neck, where you could feel his pulse, racing at your touch.

"In my defense, you started it," he replied, popping out his lower lip in a small pout but then broke into a smile.

"Marriage, kids..." you smiled anxiously when you were able to feel his pulse under your thumbs. "We haven't been in a relationship for longer than a month, Josh."

"And?" his pierced eyebrow shot up. "I love you. I've never been more sure about this."

"And I love you too, Joshua," you tilted your head to one side. "But maybe... maybe we need to wait a little."

"Fine," he replied with some reluctance. But you could still see the spark in his big eyes, the joy and the love written in them.

"I mean it," you said firmly and he smiled, giggling cheekily.

"Alright, alright," he nodded, leaning down to press a kiss in your lips, nudging the tip of your nose with his. "I'm still calling you Ms. Hong."

The next day you had to catch the earliest flight home, as you had been told that the last delivery of books for you to sign had arrived. So you called a taxi as soon as you woke up, as you had overslept and were late.

"Are you sure you don't want me to come with you at the airport?" Joshua asked, his brow furrowing as he looked at your face.

"I'm sure," you replied for the nth time. You were standing on the sidewalk, waiting for the taxi. A sudden jolt of nervousness twisted your stomach when you blurted out: "Were you able to clear your schedule for Friday night?"

Joshua's gaze softened, looking remorseful as he dropped his eyes to the ground and shook his head gently. "I'm sorry, bunny," he mumbled. "I won't be able to be there with you."

Your heart deflated and you were quick to give him a nod. "Okay," you whispered with an empty smile. "It's okay. Um, I'll call you when I get home, alright?"

The taxi stopped in front of you and you turned to reach out for the handle. Joshua's face contorted, his frown deepening when you were about to leave without saying something.

"Come here," he muttered before you could get into the car, cupping the back of your head to press his lips with yours. "I love you, baby."

"I love you, Joshua," you replied, and as the car drove away you wished you hadn't said it so dryly.

✮ a/n: hi there my lovelies! ◕⩊◕

i truly don't like to split this chapter but the word count really got out of hand here. i'll post the next part as soon as i finish writing it (yes, i'm still writing it don't look at me like that)

for those who wanted juicy angst, you'll find it in the next part! 👀🩵

oki doki. that's it for me now. i love you all, drink some water, use sunscreen.... i'm not asking you to reblog or comment or like, do whatever you want idgaf

haha i love yous! ( > 〰 < )♡

toodles!

next part

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d1xonss · 8 months ago

Text

Cigarettes After Sex

✧ Pairing : Daryl Dixon x Reader

✧ Era : Season 11

✧ Pronouns : she/her

✧ Genre : ⚠️ Smut (18+) and a lil bit of angst

✧ Word Count : 5.6k

AN ~ Not a request but I had this idea that I just couldn't get out of my head. Plus I've been in the mood to write something a little spicy since you guys liked the Older oneshots so much. Hope you enjoy!

Your eyes stayed focused on the pages of the book you were reading in front of you in the smoke filled garage, occasionally turning the pages to continue on with the chapter. In the background you could hear the tools clinking around, along with a few curses that fell from his lips when he couldn’t get something just right. Every once and a while you couldn’t help but look up and stare at him for a few seconds, knowing the real reason you came out here to keep him company while he worked.

Over the past twelve, long years you had known Daryl, you still didn’t exactly know what you were to each other. Some would call the two of you friends, and though that may be true, you always knew there was something a little more there than what meets the eye. And you knew he felt it too, but neither of you were willing to admit that out loud. Too hardheaded, you supposed.

It always caught your attention when he left a few lingering touches on your skin, how he embraced you so dearly as if you were the most important person in the world, or even how he occasionally left a small kiss on your forehead. You couldn’t help but think he did all of these things for a reason, as if to ease you into something that he was always terrified of. And hell, maybe he was easing himself into it too.

You always knew he was never much of a romantic person, he never quite showed interest in anyone else the way he always did with you. Though when he finally did open his heart up to a woman named Leah all those many years ago, he got absolutely crushed in the process, leaving you heartbroken for him as you witnessed him go through it all. In the back of your mind, you hoped it would work out between the two of them because you knew he deserved someone that would treat him right. And though that person may not have been you, it didn’t matter, as long as he was happy. That’s all you had ever wanted for him.

However, you couldn’t help but notice ever since he got hurt, he had been slowly pulling away from you. Not in a way that was drastic, but you always seemed to notice the little things. He had completely stopped showing you affection whatsoever which was very out of character for him considering how close you were. All of the little things he used to do that would make you smile, he had brought to a halt without warning. The only thing that he really did now was just a small squeeze on your shoulder, and that’s only if you were lucky.

It frustrated you slightly, not because of his sudden wall he built up, but because subconsciously he thought you would hurt him the same way she did. He was now scared that the same thing would happen all over again. And it bothered you in a way he could never understand. Because after all you had been through together, he still didn’t seem to know you at all.

“Pass me that screwdriver, will ya?”

Your thoughts cut short when he started to speak, absentmindedly nodding your head as you turned towards the toolbox that was placed right next to you. You dug through them for a moment before you spotted the familiar red handle, grabbing it and stretching your arm out to hand it over to him.

He met your hand halfway as he accepted it gratefully, “Thanks.” he muttered with a small smile, the cigarette still dangling from his lips as he spoke.

You nodded before watching him for another moment, tilting your head to the side, “What’re you fixing up anyway?”

He shrugged as his eyes stayed down, “Just some repairs…nothin too fancy.” he spoke, his eyebrows furrowing as he worked.

“Ah.” you muttered with a small nod, going back to your book as you assumed he didn’t want to be bothered while he focused.

Though upon hearing your small mutter, the quietness taking over the space, Daryl subtly looked back up at you for a moment. He knew things had been different, way different than what the two of you were used to, and a part of him felt bad. Mostly because he knew it was his own fault. He had pushed you away when you had done nothing wrong, and he felt guilty for it every single day.

With that in mind, he cleared his throat as he took a puff from his cigarette, “Ya still want me to teach ya?” he asked, his tone growing softer than before.

You glanced up from your book again, seeing the small smile he had on his face as he reminded you of something you had requested a long time ago. You had rode on the back of his motorcycle many times before, but a part of you wanted to learn how to ride all by yourself. And he clearly remembered.

A smile wormed its way onto your face as well as you nodded, “Yeah…yeah I’d like that.”

He nodded in return as he went back to tuning up his bike, “Gotta start ya off slow though. Can’t have ya crashin into some tree the first time ya get on.”

You couldn’t help but laugh to yourself with a roll of your eyes, “Right, we probably wouldn’t want that. But I think I’ll have a pretty good teacher…I’m not too worried.”

His heart swelled, though you couldn’t see, but that comment touched him in a way, “Yeah?” he asked as he looked back up at you.

You nodded again, “I trust you.”

You trusted him. That little comment meant more to him than you could even fathom. It meant that after all the things he had put you through, all the things he regretted, you still loved and trusted him just the same. He couldn’t help but pause for a long moment as he contemplated all of that, how only a few little words could mean the absolute world.

Though when he was lost in his own mind, the cigarette that he now held between his two fingers, slightly burned his skin as some hot ash fell from the tip. He let out a small noise as he shook it off, only now noticing how smokey the space was from how much he was chain smoking with you in the room. He knew you never cared, but a part of him still felt a little bad.

“Sorry.” he muttered as he raised his hand to fan the area a bit, “Didn’t realize how much I hotboxed ya.” he chuckled a little.

You laughed it off as well, waving him off, “You know I don’t mind. Actually I kinda like the smell.”

He raised his eyebrow a bit at the unexpected comment, looking down to the stick in his grasp as he thought about your words for a moment, “Ya never told me that.” he muttered.

You shrugged, “Never really came up I guess. But I don’t know, it’s always kind of been comforting.”

Daryl silently knew what that meant without you even having to explain. And that only made his chest fill with even more warmth than before, knowing he was the reason behind your words. He knew he meant a lot to you, but just hearing you say that his bad habit was somewhat of a comfort to you, it almost made his mindset shift.

You absentmindedly closed your book as you noticed he grew quiet, “You know any cool tricks?” you asked with a smirk.

He huffed quietly with a small smile, wordlessly taking another hit and holding it for a moment before effortlessly blowing it out in small spurts, the smoke forming into little o shapes in the air. You nodded to yourself as you watched him, “Solid.”

He chuckled a little, “Thank you, thank you.” he said as he bowed his head a bit.

Tilting your head a little, you thought to yourself about any more little tidbits he might have experienced, “Have you ever shotgunned it?”

He raised an eyebrow at you, “Who’s askin?”

“Me.” you smiled sweetly.

He found himself chuckling again, shaking his head as a few memories came to mind, “Uh yeah…yeah I have.” he admitted a bit sheepishly, hoping you wouldn’t ask for any details.

A hum passed through your lips in response, opening your mouth to speak again, though he seemed to beat you to it, “You ever done anything like that?”

You scoffed, “Who’s asking?”

But he didn’t answer you. He only stared at you with the same small smile, however, there seemed to be something a little more behind his eyes. Though you couldn’t tell what that was, it intrigued you slightly. “No…” you answered honestly.

“Ya wanna try?”

It felt like your heart had dropped and settled into your stomach, swearing that you heard him wrong. “You’re not serious.”

But the smile on his face only grew a little, confirming to you just how serious he was as he nodded for you to come closer to him, “Come here.”

In all honesty he didn’t know what he was doing, and seeing the shock on your face only made the small pit in his stomach grow further, though he didn’t show it. He couldn’t really think in that moment at all about how this could be perceived, all he knew was that he wanted to be closer to you. Suddenly having a craving for it, having been without it for far too long.

A few beats of tense silence passed before you finally found the strength to stand to your feet, moving closer towards him as he stood tall as well. You tilted your head back a bit as you looked up at him, standing just a few inches away as you almost waited for him to instruct you on what to do next. Because in all honesty, you didn’t know what you were doing.

His eyes traced over your face for a moment, almost wanting to ask you to stand a little bit closer to him, but ultimately he refrained. He knew he couldn’t be greedy with you, not when you were already so precious to him. He only held the cigarette out towards you, watching as your delicate hand took it from his grasp, all while never removing your gaze from his.

“Go on and take a long drag.” he instructed, his voice coming off in an anticipating whisper.

You only nodded your head in response, placing the end of it in between your lips as you slowly inhaled all the smoke it had to offer. Daryl couldn’t help but stare down at your lips the entire time, he studied you in the most mesmerizing way it almost caused you to choke on your own spit. Yet you still couldn’t tell what he was thinking, and it made you grow a little frustrated all over again.

Your heart then fluttered when the smoke filled your lungs, taking the cigarette away from your mouth as you leaned up on your tiptoes to get closer to him. His hand instinctively came up to cradle your jaw as he pulled you even closer to his lips, feeling them barely brush against each other before the blissful feeling would soon wash over the two of you.

Exhaling the smoke, you blew the thick cloud right into his mouth, hearing a quiet groan leave him in response. It surprised you how good it felt, how your skin practically ignited with fire at his simple sound of enjoyment, it made your mind wander to a very dangerous place. His hand didn’t stray away from your face as he inhaled the smoke until he physically couldn’t anymore, the craving he felt only building to a new level as a part of him wanted to taste you. Just for a moment.

But the thought vanished, everything crashing down in an instant as he felt you pull away from his mouth, clearing your throat a bit. His eyes fluttered open to see you standing there awkwardly, not knowing what to say as the two of you had never dared to cross this line before in the past.

“Well, I guess now I can cross that one off the bucket list.” you joked with a small, forced laugh.

“Do it again.”

Your eyes snapped back up to meet his as he spoke with zero hesitation in his tone, not even acknowledging that you made a comment at all. “What?” you asked quietly.

He took a small breath before speaking again, repeating the phrase, “Do it again.”

If you weren’t stunned before, you sure as hell were now as you stood almost frozen before him. To say it was one thing, but to repeat it with such confidence was another. He was serious. What started out as just a suggestion, now turned into something a lot more real.

But you found you didn’t protest. Because you wanted it too.

You then held the cigarette back up to your lips, inhaling it all over again as you were surprised you didn’t cough even once in the whole process. His eyes practically lit up as he saw you repeat the action, mentally preparing himself for the familiar feeling that would hit him all over again. But the thing he couldn’t get past was that he had never felt it before now. He only felt it with you. And it was very surreal.

Your perfect lips parted from the cigarette after what felt like a lifetime of waiting, moving back up to him to exhale the smoke into his mouth once more. The man breathed it in as if he needed it to stay alive, his hands coming up to your arms to hold you in place as if he was scared you would pull away again. But you didn’t. You couldn’t. Not even if you wanted to. The slightest brush of your lips made your breath hitch, but before you could even register what you were doing, you pressed your lips firmly to his. It almost didn’t feel real.

Daryl responded immediately, instantly bringing you into him as he wrapped his arms around you to hold you closer to his chest. Your hands went up to the sides of his face, tilting your head a bit so your noses wouldn’t clash so much, the kiss intensifying in just a split second. It was like all the years of the built up tension, the built up feelings, were now finally being unleashed after so long of waiting. You supposed before it was never the right time, but now, it couldn’t have felt more perfect.

His tongue moved to run along your lips almost teasingly, begging for an entrance as his hands gripped you even tighter. And you accepted his request, parting your lips for him and feeling his excitement grow as he didn’t take it for granted. His tongue swirled rapidly in your mouth, letting out a groan of pleasure as he tasted your sweetness. You shivered slightly at the low rumble you heard from him, something about it turning you on even more as you had never heard that sound from him before. It was like a switch flipped.

He continued to absolutely devour your mouth, his hands now running down the curves of your body in a slow and teasing manner, taking his time. You gasped softly as you felt your skin almost tingling under his touch, wanting to feel him everywhere. So without thinking, you quickly moved your hands down to his chest as you frantically began to try and tear his shirt off of him. Your fingers worked on each of the buttons, though you couldn’t see what you were doing, it all felt like it was happening so fast you almost had no time to prepare yourself.

But in a fit of panic, Daryl quickly pulled back from your mouth as the feeling of you trying to take off his shirt finally registered in his mind. He still remained close to you, but his sudden actions stopped you from yours, your hands freezing in place as it was clear you had pushed him too far. But your expression was filled with confusion and concern as you couldn’t understand why he looked almost scared to go any further.

He sighed as his eyes remained closed, almost ashamed to look at your face as he gently leaned forward to rest his forehead against yours. “I…I can’t.” he whispered.

Your eyes seemed to widen as it clicked in your mind. He hadn’t done anything like this since Leah. Since he had been burned so badly by her. Since he was left shattered and heartbroken because of what she did to him. He opened up to her unlike anyone else, and she left him. A lump formed in your throat as the realization set in for you, seeing just how scared he was for this to potentially happen to him all over again.

“I can’t do this, I…I can’t lose you too.”

You sighed softly as you shook your head, your hands tilting his face up a little more, “Hey, look at me.”

He simply shook his head, his eyes remaining closed, “Daryl, look at me.” you pleaded quietly.

When he did finally open his eyes, you could see he was starting to tear up, breaking your heart even further. Not only to see how much he was hurting, but how much he was truly terrified to lose you. Although in your mind, that wasn’t even a possibility.

“You couldn’t lose me, okay? Ever.” you whispered, “I’m not going anywhere. You know me…I would never hurt you like that. Never.”

Upon hearing your voice reassure him so sweetly, his tears slowly slipped down his cheeks, watching as he swallowed thickly to try and pull himself together. But you didn’t want him to be embarrassed. You understood more than he probably realized. Which is why you were quick to wipe them away with your thumbs, leaning up to kiss the ones you had missed in hopes to offer him even more comfort.

He shuttered under your touch, quickly finding your lips with his own again as he kissed you deeply, holding the back of your head steady as his lips were filled with passion. You responded to his kiss with hesitance, not wanting to push him again as you didn’t have a clear response to how he was feeling. But once you felt him take your hands, guiding them back up to the buttons on his shirt, you had your answer.

In a flurry of hurried kisses and laughs, nearly tripping over one another as you tried to make it back inside the house, the two of you finally landed on the couch in the living room. Neither of you really cared about trying to make it all the way upstairs, almost as if it was a silent agreement that you were both impatient. You panted heavily as each piece of fabric was being discarded onto the floor faster than you could even realize, yet his hands moved across your skin with such ease and gentleness. The action alone told you a thousand things, and yet he didn’t need to say a word.

You quickly lowered yourself to your knees the second you saw the opportunity, getting in between his legs as he sat on the couch. His eyes widened at your actions, “Aye, you don’t gotta-”

But his words were cut off with a groan as you lowered your mouth to the tip of his dick, darting your tongue out to slowly swirl around and tease him the smallest bit. You knew you didn’t have to, but you wanted him to feel special for once, you wanted him to feel important and loved. And besides, you just couldn’t help yourself as your mouth practically watered at the sight. And the small noises he was letting out as you licked sensually along his shaft, was almost like a reward of some kind.

He threw his head back slightly as his hands went up to hold your hair back for you, feeling you teasingly lower your lips just a little at a time to take more of him in your mouth. It was almost like torture with how slow you were going, but it was also the most enjoyable torture he could even endure. His muscles twitched in anticipation and he was already beginning to sweat, clenching his teeth together all the while.

“Come on,” he muttered breathlessly, talking more to himself than he was to you.

But you still took it as a sign, seeing he had enough and finally lowered your mouth even more to take him further. A shaky moan left his parted lips at your actions, hissing slightly when he felt your teeth barely brushing against him as well, though it wasn’t enough to hurt. Just enough to get his attention. You then began slowly bobbing your head up and down the length of him, swirling your tongue and hollowing out your cheeks to really make him squirm. His hands tightened around your hair in response, another low groan echoing around the room as he basked in the state of pleasure you provided.

His breathing grew heavier and heavier by the second, growing even more sensitive to you as your pace began to gradually pick up, trying to take even more of him in your mouth. You couldn’t lie though, he was bigger than what you had experienced in the past, which made you almost nervous. But hearing what you were doing to him so far, it gave you the right motivation you needed to keep going.

“F-Fuck.” he breathed as the tip of his dick hit the back of your throat, feeling your hands running up and down his thighs as you tried not to gag. Though he felt you struggle a bit, pulling your hair up slightly as if signaling you that you could ease up if you needed, but you didn’t. He felt too good in your mouth for you to want to stop.

Your head then moved a bit faster, taking him as deep as you could as you heard his whimpers and moans, not even trying to hold them back anymore. He wanted to make it known how good you were making him feel, just the sound of it was enough to make you wet, and he hadn’t even touched you yet. Your spit soaked him completely, making it almost easier to take him entirely in your mouth as you felt him hit the back of your throat almost every time with each pass.

His breath hitched, “Oh shit,” he muttered as he tried to regulate his breathing, “Ya need to get up here…come on.” he almost pleaded.

And you didn’t need to be told twice, feeling how hard he was now he was nearly throbbing in your mouth, knowing he was close to falling apart. So your lips slowly parted from his aching dick, leaving a few lingering kisses behind before you slowly stood back up to your feet with a smile. Looking at his face now, he gazed at you as if you put all the stars in the sky, as if you painted him the most beautiful sunset you could’ve ever laid your eyes on. Or as if you had given him the best head of his life.

He watched as you wiped your mouth from the spit that nearly dribbled down your chin, quickly reaching forward to pull you in and crash his mouth against yours, licking your lips completely clean. You giggled in response to his eagerness, attempting to remove your thong as it was the last thing in the way, struggling to kick it off your ankles. Though the moment it hit the ground, you instantly moved forward and broke away from his mouth for only a moment, straddling his hips as you hovered on top of him.

The man nearly gawked at the sight of you, “God…” he muttered as if he couldn’t find the words. But you knew what he was getting at, knowing that his actions always spoke louder than his words ever could. And he only proved that further when he lowered his mouth to one of your breasts, sucking gently at your nipple to elicit a small whimper from you.

You could feel his lip curl up in response to your little noises, his hand coming up to gently massage the other with his rough fingers. The scratchiness of his calloused palms made it even better somehow, the sensation sending a shiver down your spine as you lowered yourself a little more onto him in response. He hummed at your actions, encouraging you to continue as his mouth worked wildly along your breast.

One of your hands then moved down to gently guide his tip towards you, running it up and down your slit to gather the wetness that pooled there. Your chest heaved up and down as you were almost overwhelmed with the tingles running through your entire body, nearly causing you to shake.

Daryl’s mouth then dragged all across your skin, leaving a small trail of small hickies along your chest, groaning as you continued to play with him a little. Your other hand came up to run through his hair, tilting your head back a little as you dragged his dick up to circle around your pulsing clit. That seemed to cause you both to gasp, the slow and tormenting teasing beginning to be too much as Daryl quickly removed his mouth from you, his hands moving to your hips as if to position you in the most perfect way he could.

You followed his lead as your hands moved up to his shoulders to steady yourself, feeling him move his dick down to your entrance to align himself with you. And when you finally sunk down onto him, it felt like absolute heaven. A long, slow moan left your lips as your eyes rolled to the back of your head, hearing a harsh grunt escape him as he tried to refrain from pounding into you. He knew he needed to take his time, wanting to draw this out for as long as he could as if it were the first and last time. He hoped for more, he prayed for more, but he knew it was never guaranteed.

His forehead fell to rest in the middle of your chest as the two of you basked in the pure errotic experience, slowly managing to move your hips once you were ready. It was slow at first, gradually easing into it as you lowered yourself back down onto him again and again, your hands moving to grip the back of his hair. He groaned as he felt you tug a little at his roots, but in all honesty, he didn’t care. In fact, he liked it.

You moaned softly as you rocked your hips against his, pulling almost all the way off of him before he filled you completely once more. What you were feeling was almost indescribable, not having felt it with any other man you had been intimate with in your entire life. But with him, it felt so different, so incredibly good. Like his body was made for yours, fitting together perfectly like a puzzle piece you had been missing for far too long. And you weren’t the only one feeling like that, with him squirming beneath you, it was just a sign to not stop your movements anytime soon.

You bounced on him at a steady pace as you balanced yourself, feeling his hand travel down to rub slow circles along your clit with his thumb. You nearly cried out in response, your heart racing out of your chest, “Oh fuck…yes.” you breathed as his pace quickened.

“Yeah? Ya like that?” he asked as his face moved close to whisper in your ear, feeling his teeth gently bite down on your earlobe.

Your mouth fell open in response as you gasped, nodding your head frantically, “Yes…yes.” you moaned as you continued to rock against him, feeling your wetness drip all over him with how aroused you were.

“Mmm,” he hummed his mouth traveling down to kiss along your jawline, “You’re doin so good sweetheart.” he breathed as he held back a groan, “So good.”

His praise only spurred you on more, your fingers tugging a bit harder at his hair which caused him to groan, thrusting his hips up into you to match your pace. The sinful sounds that escaped you should never be heard by anyone, you couldn’t even believe you were the one making them. But he was the one to cause all those little reactions, adding something more to push you over the edge. And it was working too, you had felt it ever since you were down on your knees in front of him. The familiar tingling in your stomach was building to the point where it could spill over at any moment.

He panted heavily as he began to suck on the base of your neck, “I love you…God, I love you.” he whispered.

The words threw you off guard for a moment as your eyes widened, but you didn’t stop, nor were you scared to say it back. “I love you too.” you responded breathlessly.

That phrase had gone unspoken between the two of you for years, constantly avoiding saying it to each other for no reason at all. Perhaps it was stubbornness, or just the fear of the feelings not being reciprocated. But for whatever reason, this moment alone brought it out to the open. And it couldn’t have felt better.

Daryl thrusted deeper into you upon hearing your response, causing you to gasp as you felt the string finally snap inside you, releasing your orgasm as your muscles twitched. Feeling you squeezing him, he cursed as he quickly pulled himself out of you in one swift motion, cumming all over your stomach. You could’ve sworn your vision went black for a moment as you slowly came down from your blissful high, not a word being said for a few minutes at least as you both tried to regain yourselves.

His head rested against your chest again, his lips beginning to leave a trail of kisses up your skin as your eyes were still hazy, leading them up to your neck where he nuzzled his face, pulling you close to his chest. You hummed in response, running your fingers through his hair as you thought to yourself for a moment, finally finding the strength to speak.

“Did you…really mean that?” you whispered hesitantly.

He pulled his face back to look at you, his head still too far up in the clouds that he clearly didn’t hear you. The big grin on his face was evidence of that. “Hm?”

You huffed with a small smile, “The whole…I love you thing…did you really mean it? Or was it like the heat of the moment.”

His brows furrowed in concern as he gently cupped the sides of your face, “Of course I meant it. I love you.” he repeated again, as if to make sure you really heard him.

You smiled in slight relief, “Did you mean it?” he asked with a smirk.

“Yes.” you said with a breathy laugh, “I just…wanted to make sure.”

“I don’t say things I don’t mean, darlin,” he said as he leaned in to rub his nose against yours lovingly, “I’ve always loved ya…my dumbass just took too long to admit it.”

You shook your head in response, “It’s okay. I understand why.”

He sighed quietly as he thought about how much he may have missed out on, how much went down the drain just because he was scared. Not only to have his heartbroken, but to potentially lose one of his best friends if you didn’t feel the same way he did. There was always a risk, but he let the fear consume him, and now he was kicking himself for it seeing how easy it was to be with you. He should’ve always known, and now he felt he was too late.

You quickly noticed his change in his expression and gently tilted his chin up so he’d look at you, “Hey…what’s wrong?”

He shook his head, “M’ just…m’ sorry.”

“For what?” you asked in confusion.

“For not actin on this years ago. For pushin ya away when I was hurtin just because I was nervous about it happenin all over again.” he stopped suddenly to gather his thoughts, “I just feel like I wasted so much time.” he finished with a whisper.

Your face was filled with worry about hearing him apologize for something that he had nothing to be sorry for. It hurt you seeing how much this was affecting him, knowing that the two of you should be happy that it finally happened. Not wanting to dwell on the past.

You leaned in to gently kiss his lips for a moment, pulling away enough to speak, “Well, it’s a good thing we got all the time in the world now.” you smiled.

His eyes slowly filled with a little more hope, “You mean…”

“Yeah,” you nodded, “I love you.”

He let out a small breath he was unaware he was holding, pulling you close to press multiple kisses all over your face, “I love you too.” he whispered, continuing to trace his lips wherever he could reach, igniting an infectious laugh from you.

It seemed his prayers were answered.

~ Thanks for reading!

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mayrose713 · 1 month ago

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Beautifully Cruel World-Chapter 10

Series Masterlist | Previous | Next

ABO Non-Idol Stray Kids Universe Poly OT8 x Reader 18+ MDNI

Warnings in the Series Masterlist as well as any other information needed

Warning: Smut First time I've ever written smut, so I'm sorry if it sucks (I'm updating the warnings in the series masterlist so this is the only other warning for smut from here on out)

Also want to let everyone know that with holiday seasons coming up, work is getting busier and I'm gonna be working more days than my normal here soon so it's gonna be a bit harder to write. I promise to update as often as possible and I'm gonna start adding dates next to the upcoming chapters in the masterlist on when they should be posted so refer to that.

thank you everyone for reading, now enjoy

Chapter 10

“How was it?” Jisung asks after Y/n walks out of the office he was waiting for her in front of as she was talking with her therapist and psychiatrist and he can see the signs that she’s been crying which doesn’t surprise him.

“Weird.” She sniffles, wiping her nose with a tissue. “They asked me a lot of mental health questions mostly, and they want to put me on anti anxiety meds for sure and maybe antidepressants.”

“It’s not too bad.” He takes her hand to lead her back to the lobby where Chan is waiting for them. “I was put on the same when I first started coming here. Still take the anxiety ones actually.”

“Really?” She looks at him surprised.

“Yeah.” He nods his head. “I was homeschooled as a kid so I didn’t socialize as much as I should have and it caused a lot of anxiety because of it. The only reason I know Chan and Changbin is because my dad worked for their dads originally. Really they were my only friends back then.”

“Good to know.” She nods, frowning.

“What’s wrong?”

“I just realized I don’t actually know a lot about all of you guys, or how you all came to be.” She whispers, looking at the floor.

“Well feel free to ask questions whenever, we‘ll be happy to answer.” He squeezes her hand as they walk out into the lobby and Chan looks up at them.

“You okay?” Chan stands as the two walk up to him and he pulls her into his side.

“Yeah, it was just a lot.” She hands him the paper for her anti-anxiety prescription.

The alpha looks over it and sighs but understands and reads the note about possible antidepressants but they want to have more sessions with her to determine that.

“I’m gonna ask you like I had asked Ji when they wanted to prescribe him this too.” He moves her to look at him. “Do you want to be put on medication? Do you think it will actually help you?”

“I-I don’t know. I’ve never taken stuff like this before.” She stutters. “But I’m wary because of the injections.” She then looks over at Jisung. “Does it help you?”

“Yeah, I think so.” He smiles at her. “I feel like I’m able to get through the day easier with it. And don’t worry, it’s nothing like how the injection was.”

Y/n nods her head still thinking about it and Chan tilts her head to look up at him. “Hey, you can try them out for a bit and if you don’t like how they make you feel or don’t think they’re helping then we can slowly get you off of it.” He reassures her. “We did that with Jisung for his antidepressants.”

“Okay.” She whispers. “I’ll try it.”

Chan goes and gets the prescription sent in to be picked up at the pharmacy in Stayville and picks it up on their way home.

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ ⋆⁺₊⋆

“Baby girl.” Chan stops the omega as she walks past his room and motions for her to come in. “I’ve noticed you’ve been in your head since we got home, talk to me.” He shuts the door after she walks in.

She sighs as he leads her to sit on his bed. “I just realized today that I don’t actually know a lot about all of you.”

“That’s all?” He watches her closely as she nods her head. “Baby, all you have to do is ask us questions and we’ll tell you anything you want to know.”

“Can you tell me about your family and where you came from?” She asks shyly. “I remember Minho telling me that Hannah visits from Australia a lot. And Dr. Hajoon was calling you Chris.”

“Yeah.” He smiles and laughs a little as he sits next to her. “My English name is Christopher. I was born here but was mostly raised in Australia. My dad went back and forth from there and here to help Changbin’s dad run the company. His dad retired so he and I handle the Korean office while my dad still runs the one there.”

The omega nods as she listens. “Your brother is an omega. What about Hannah? And your parents?”

“Lucas is our only omega in my family pack too.” He smiled at her. “My dad is an alpha and so is Hannah. My mom is a beta.”

“Would we ever be able to go visit Australia?” She whispers.

“Of course.” He lifts her head to look at him. “As a pack we own a vacation house there so that Felix and I are able to visit our families often.”

Y/n’s jaw dropped. “How did I not realize that Felix is also Australian?”

“I don’t know, baby.” He laughs a bit. “Felix and I have known each other since we were kids. I taught him Korean and after I had moved and gotten settled here with Changbin, Jisung and Seungmin we moved him here.”

“Ji said you guys were the only friends he had since his dad worked for yours.” She looks over his facial features. “How did everyone else come into the pack?”

“Well, Seungmin and I went to high school together here. I was his senior.” He smiles as she listens closely. “He was a bit unsure of himself when he realized we were fated. I had to go up to him first and tell him about Changbin and Jisung, who I was living with and tell him about Felix back home.”

“Minho had run into Jisung at a caffe not far from the office. At the time Minho was a backup dancer for BTS but after meeting Ji and wanting to court him since he was his fated mate, he decided to stay in Seoul and started teaching dance. And Ji convinced him to meet the other four of us as he knew we were his fated mates too.”

“Min was a backup dancer for BTS?” Y/n gawks. “I don’t believe it.”

“Look up some of their live performances, you’ll see.” And she makes a mental note to do so later. “Hyunjin and Jeongin met each other in school and knew they were each other's fated mates. Hyunjin had started taking classes from Min and even though they both realized they were fated mates, Jinnie was too scared of Minho to talk to him about it and Min wasn’t about courting his student.”

Y/n couldn’t help but laugh at how cute the whole situation is. “So how did it finally happen?”

“Felix.” Chan smirks. “Changbin had dropped him off at the studio one day to bring Minho lunch and Hyunjin fell in love at first sight. After that Lix made Jinnie and Min talk and Hyunjin told them about Jeongin and they told him about the rest of us.”

“That’s all really cute.” The omega gushes. “Best story ever.”

“I don’t know.” He grins at her mischievously. “I think my favorite story is the one about how we met our omega.” He grabs her pulling her onto his lap so she’s straddling him causing her to blush.

“Channie.” She pouts as he holds her hips and Y/n can’t help but to glance down at his lips, thinking about what it would be like to kiss him.

Y/n starts to wonder if they’re gonna claim her soon or not, thinking back to what her brother had told her, about them possibly just using her.

“You’re thinking too much, baby girl.” The alpha grips her hips a bit tighter causing her to whine a little. “Just say it.”

“Please.” She looks back and forth from his eyes to his lips.

“You’ve gotta say it.” She continues to pout though and he lightly spanks her ass. “Come on baby, I don’t know what you’re wanting if you don’t speak up.”

“Please claim me, alpha.” She sounds disparate.

“Fuck.” He growls, pulling her down to kiss her lips. “Wasn’t expecting that.”

The kiss is heated and passionate, he smirks at the small wines she’s making. He spanks her again causing her to gasp and the alpha takes the opportunity to slide his tongue past her lips. She doesn’t try to fight back with her tongue, already submitting to him.

He pulls away from the kiss and starts trailing kisses down her jaw to her neck, relishing in the little sounds she makes. He groans into her neck when she bucks her hips against him, her nails digging into his shoulders.

Chan buries his nose into her scent gland before switching their positions so she’s on the bed and he’s hovering above. One arm next to her head to keep himself up and the other lightly trailing up her bare thigh to the bottom of her skirt.

“Are you sure about this, baby girl? Because once we start, I’m not stopping.” He looks into Y/n’s eyes, seeing how desperate and needy she already is as she nods her head. “Words baby, I need you to use your words.”

“Yes alpha, I’m sure.”

“Good girl.” He growls as he pushes her skirt up and cups her sex, feeling how damp her underwear is. “Fuck, my little omega, you’re already so wet.”

Y/n covers her face with her hands in embarrassment as he continues to rub her through her panties letting out little whines and moans.

“Don’t hide from me.” Chan grabs both of her wrists with one hand and moves them from her face and pins them above her head. “There she is, my beautiful girl.”

“Channie.” Y/n bucks her hips against his hand. “You’re teasing.”

“Am I?” He fake pouts at her before taking his hand away from her and she whines and squirms as he still holds her in place. “What’s wrong? I thought you didn’t want me to tease you? So I stopped.”

“Chan, please.” And with a smirk at her begging he lets go of her wrists, moving his hands to her blouse and takes it off and raises a brow at her bare chest. “No bra? Tsk, naughty girl.”

“Took it off when we got home.” Y/n pants. “It was uncomfortable.”

“Of course it was.” He coos, kissing her lips again and cups her boob, squeezing it a little before playing with her nipple.

She arches her back, moaning into his mouth as she starts pulling at his shirt trying to get it off. Chan sits back pulling the shirt over his head and she ogles him, eyes roaming over every muscle of his torso. She then notices the bulge in his jeans, sitting up she unbuttons them as he smiles while watching her, helping take his pants off leaving him in his boxers.

Chan grabs the waistband of her skirt, pulling it down along with her panties before pushing her to lay back down as he looks over her.

“You’re so beautiful.” He whispers, moving his fingers to play with her slit before pushing a finger in causing her to bite her lip. “You’re so tight, baby. If you can’t take my finger, how are you gonna take my cock?”

“I can take it.” The omega moans as he starts to finger her. “Please alpha, I can, I promise.”

“Let me prep you first.”

He pushes a second finger in and makes a come hither motion and she arches her back once again grabbing onto his arm as he speeds up his fingers.

“Channie, please.” Y/n whimpers as he pulls his fingers out of her pussy, bringing his fingers to his mouth to taste her slick.

“Mmm, you tastes so good. Gonna have to eat you out sometime.” He wastes no time sliding his boxers off before leaning over her, lining up with her. “This might hurt a little, but I promise it will get better, just let me know if it gets to be too much.”

“Okay.” Y/m whispers and gasps when he starts to push in.

When Chan feels some resistance he gives a hard thrust, completely bottoming out inside her causing her to moan a little in pain and pleasure. He stays still, looking at her face to check she’s okay and wipes away a tear from her eye.

“Does it hurt?”

“A little.” The omega whimpers before grinding against him. “Please move.”

Chan pulls out a bit before thrusting back in causing her to gasp again as he moves. Her expression soon changed from that of a bit of pain into pleasure.

“You’re so tight, baby girl.” He grunts as her hands go to his shoulders, claws coming out and start digging into his skins as she becomes a moaning mess under him.

“Please alpha, more.” And he speeds up his rhythm, rutting into her as he looks down to where they are connected seeing just how well she’s taking him.

When he sees some blood, which shockingly didn’t make her feel bad for hurting her but turned him on more knowing he’s taken her innocence and now belongs to the pack, to him. The sight of it causes him to harden his thrust and he grabs her hands from his shoulders placing them next to her head and holds them.

“Channie… ah.” Y/n squeezes his hands, head turning to the side as her eyes close, her walls clamping around him.

“Fuck.” He growls, loving the sound her slick makes around his cock. “You close baby?”

She nods in desperation and the knot at the base of his cock starts to swell. “Please, Chan, so close. Want your knot, please. Please claim me.”

Chan nuzzles into her neck for a moment smelling at her scent gland before biting down hard, teeth breaking the skin as he tastes her blood. She screams and cums around him, shaking in pleasure, her juices squirting everywhere making a mess of both of them and the bed. She thought the bite would hurt but instead she just feels a flood of his love and emotions for her.

He stays latched onto her neck riding out her pleasure before his knot inflates all the way and he releases his load into her. His knot keeps him locked in as his cum fills her up, some spilling out around his cock. It isn’t until she’s milked him dry that he lets go of her neck, licking his lips of her blood.

Y/n gazes up at him looking fucked out as he lets go of one of her hands to push some of her hair out of her face. “You did so good, baby girl.”

“Wanna bite you too.” The omega whimpers as she tries to move but his knot still hasn’t softened, keeping him in place.

Chan leans down, giving her access to his neck, the side with only three mate marks and she bites down just under the bottom one. He groans in pleasure and lets her stay there as long as she wants.

Once she lets go she looks up at him, eyes full of love. “My alpha.”

“That’s right baby.” He coos and kisses her lips. “I love you so much.”

“Love you too.”

______________________________________________________________

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bananayuyu · 3 months ago

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Cabin Fever [part 4]

Pairing: Yunho x f reader

Genre: fluff and smut

Word count: 9.9k

Summary: Sometimes actions have consequences for your fragile body, your morning getting off to a sore start. The day thankfully offers you a calm morning, a long-overdue conversation, and a desperate Wooyoung bringing laughter to everyone, in his own special way.

Warnings: MDNI, smut, fingering, voyeurism

A/n: Apologies for how long it took me to post this chapter, I kept editing and rewriting different sections of it because I wanted it to be perfect. I realized recently how much this series means to me, I think because of how much I relate to the main character, and the kind response I've gotten from all of you <3 I'm so glad to be finally posting, and will definitely continue to write the other parts I've planned. I really hope you all enjoy!

Linked here is my masterlist where you can find the previous parts. Again let me know if you'd like to be added to the taglist! (it will be six parts in total if everything goes to plan)

Read part 5 here!

Taglist: @certifiedmoa @pautiny27 @luvbit3z @dawn-iscozy @artistic-rendition

@yeosangiess @drinkingrumandcocacola @smally97 @kierraperkins3 @newworldwritings

@peachyy-jooniee @lucid-galaxys-world @arigakittyo @staytinyroha @yoonjikim

You wake in a blurry haze, the early morning light shining gently in through the window. You wonder for a moment if another storm rolled in last night, if the light is so soft because the sky is blanketed in clouds. A quick glance at your phone tells you it's just the light of dawn, the sun not risen enough yet to fully brighten the room. You groan internally, wishing your body let you sleep in after the crazy day you'd just had. You lay awake for a while, eyes still closed, as you hear Yunho's steady deep breaths of sleep. You try to let your mind rest more, but soon you can tell there's no point, your brain desperately chewing through every intense conversation you'd had the day before. As quietly as you can you sit up and scoot yourself off the bed, rubbing your eyes as you walk yourself to the bathroom.

Immediately upon standing you notice the feeling, a slight soreness deep in your core. It almost doesn't feel bad, at least initially, and it makes you giggle to yourself, remembering your previous night. You hadn't expected Yunho to fuck you so hard, and truthfully you loved it. Miraculously your body had been able to take it, maybe even needed it because of the emotionally exhausting day. But you also knew you might pay a bit of a price for it now. You'd certainly joked with people like Ari, or Wooyoung, about being fucked so hard you could still feel it the next morning. And in theory it sounded like the best case scenario, like something everyone would want. But now that you were here it also felt a little concerning, that your muscles were that sore.

You were quiet in the bathroom as well, not wanting to wake anyone in the living room. You carefully clean your thighs, wiping a damp towel over them, and gently brushing it past your core to clean yourself there as well. Immediately the contact feels a bit painful and you wince, frustration bubbling in you as you breathe deeply, taking a moment to let the pain subside. No matter how many times you try to pretend it isn't true, your body always has a way of reminding you how fragile and delicate it is. With a sigh you finish up, tossing the towel in the hamper, then washing your hands. Making your way back to the library, you open and close the door as carefully as possible, gently settling yourself down on the pull out couch that hadn't been used now in days.

You hadn't had a chance the whole trip to crack open your book, and with the chaos of the previous day some calm, focused reading sounds oh so perfect. You grab it out of your bag and begin reading, the sun slowly brightening as the day starts to bloom. Yunho is still sound asleep, his breaths so gentle you almost forget he is there. Eventually your stomach grumbles and you head out to the kitchen, being met with Seonghwa and Hongjoong sipping their first coffees of the day.

If you're entirely honest, it feels a little uncomfortable seeing them, especially Hongjoong. Though you tried the previous night to just move on, to forget what happened, the tension still lingers, especially now that you know so much of why Hongjoong acted the way he did. You aren't sure if he's told Seonghwa anything yet, and you don't want to say anything that could make things awkward between them, so you decide you'll take your breakfast and head outside, hopefully getting to spend a little more peaceful time by yourself. With a quick hug to both of them you head out to the fire pit, your tea in one hand, breakfast in the other, and book tucked precariously under your arm.

It's refreshing sitting outside by yourself, under the shade of the forest trees, your book the only company you have. You normally spend a lot of time alone, so sometimes on these trips you get a bit overwhelmed by everyone. As the sun begins moving across the sky the day gets warmer, Yunho's hoodie now feeling a bit too heavy. You realize you've been wearing it for days now, and probably should change into something else. But you kick that thought aside, relishing the feeling of being in it. You don't entirely understand your own feelings yet, but something about wearing his clothes feels perfectly right.

"Hey, nerd," you hear Yunho say, lifting your head up to see him walking over towards you, his own breakfast in hand.

"Hi," you respond, smiling at him, but returning to your book. You were just nearing the end of a chapter, and you really wanted to finish it.

"You'd rather read then talk to me?" he jokes, plopping down in a chair next to you.

"Just give me like two minutes," you say, eyes still not leaving the page. Yunho just nods and starts wolfing down his breakfast, glancing over at you occasionally to see if you're really that focused. Apparently, you are, which is something he loves so much. As much as he jokes with you, he finds it precious how lost you get in the things you read.

"Ok, we can talk now," you say brightly, sliding your bookmark into the page you just finished. It makes Yunho chuckle, his eyes bright with adoration.

"I wanted to ask you a question," he says, quickly taking another bite.

"Okay," you respond, not sure where he is headed.

"I wanted to see if you felt okay with everything that's been going on, you know, between us. Make sure I haven't crossed any lines," he says.

"Not at all," you say, looking back at him. You seem reluctant to talk much this morning, which isn't like you, and Yunho feels a bit concerned. But he really wants to know where your head is at; he just honestly didn't think he'd be the one to have to bring this up. You were the one who was so good at talking about your feelings, but you hadn't said anything specific about it yet. Well, maybe you did that night you both said 'I love you,' but nothing had been said since.

"So how are you feeling?" he asks.

"Well my vagina hurts, but otherwise pretty good," you laugh, adjusting yourself in your seat to try to alleviate the soreness.

"It hurts?" he asks, with genuine concern.

"Like it's sore, you know, from last night's activities," you say, cringing at yourself. You didn't feel like you could say 'it's sore from you fucking me so hard,' but some part of you wishes you did.

"In a good way? Or bad way?" he asks.

"Um, kind of both?" you respond, not really sure yourself. "I don't hate it but it's, well, worse than ideal. I have to be careful when I sit," you say, trying to keep yourself from laughing again.

"What's so funny?" he asks you, thankful to see you laughing and not grimacing in pain.

"I just never imagined actually having this conversation with somebody," you say, smiling. You appreciate when ridiculous moments happen, and remind you that life doesn't have to be so serious all the time.

"Was I too rough?" he asks, making you giggle again.

"No, I liked it," you say. "I mean, I guess maybe, I just... I haven't really had this happen before," you say, still laughing. "It's probably cause your dick is, um, so big." You turn to see Yunho fighting to keep a smile off his face at your comment, his head turning away from you for a moment.

"Was it just too hard? Or too long?" he asks, making you burst into laughter harder. "I mean, how I fucked you y/n, not my di- ugh," Yunho covers his face, his cheeks reddening some.

"You're being so funny right now," you say. You can't help but find it terribly adorable how awkward he can sometimes be.

"I'm trying to be serious," he says, fixing you momentarily with a stern grimace, which only makes you both laugh harder. After a few moments you both calm down, making eye contact again.

"For real though, I don't want to hurt you. Was I too rough?" he repeats, truly wanting an answer.

"No, you really weren't. I liked it, I liked it a lot. It felt really good. Sometimes, with the way my body is, I have to sacrifice the future days of pain for doing something I really want to do. Sometimes I feel it's worth it. If I spent my life trying to prevent myself from ever feeling pain, I'd never get to do certain things. And obviously I have to be careful how often I do things like that, because usually it means I have to recover for a day or two, or even longer. But I can do it occasionally. I can deal with pain, extremely well," you finish, emphasizing the last two words.

"But I don't want sex with me to cause you pain," he says, eyeing you. "Is that really worth it to you? Aren't there things we could do that wouldn't hurt you?" he asks.

"Well, honestly part of the problem last night was probably that I just like, put your dick inside me without any warm up. Which was on me, I take full responsibility. But like, if you finger me first, it helps the muscles relax. Just doing that probably would have prevented most of this pain," you say.

"Thank you for telling me that," he says, his mind intently focused on every words coming from your lips.

"I liked what happened though, it was very..." you trail off.

"Feral?" he asks, making you laugh yet again. You put your face in your hands remembering everything, especially the way he grabbed you and flipped you over, and the sounds he made in your ear when he finally came.

"Yeah, I liked that," you giggle, face still hidden. You sigh into yourself, basking in the feeling of this conversation. You never thought you'd be having it with Yunho, and you realize that despite everything you couldn't be more comfortable. He knew you so well, and explaining all of this to someone who didn't know you at all would have been ten times more complicated.

"Y/n, I have to tell you something," he suddenly says, his tone completely different. You quickly put your hands down, turning your body in your chair to face him, as he sets his plate down on the ground, turning to face you as well.

"What is it?" you ask, trying to keep yourself from tensing up.

"I- I don't really know how to say this, I'm sorry if I start rambling. I just, I just need to say this, even though I think you already know, but in case it isn't clear. I-" he takes in a shaky breath, quickly letting it out. "I love you, obviously, I have for many years. But I'm also in love with you, and I don't know if you realized that. That's why certain things just keep coming out of my mouth, when we're having sex, and I'm sorry if it's weird. It doesn't seem to bother you but, I know we hadn't talked about it. I like calling you baby, it feels right, but if you want me to stop, or you want any of this thing, between us, to stop, you just say the word. I don't want anything that I ever do, or say, to make your life worse. You already deal with so much shit all of the time, and it would be my worst nightmare to know that I'm adding to that." Out of nowhere you feel a tear hit your cheek, quickly followed by one hitting your bare thigh. Yunho is staring at the ground between you, not able to stomach seeing your reactions in real time. "Above all I love you, and I want you to be happy, and even if tomorrow you tell me you never want to sleep with me ever again, I'd still love you, I'd still want to live with you and be your friend. I'm serious, I mean that. I would not hold it against you, I would not make things awkward. I don't feel like you owe me anything, at all. But you should also know if you want me to be more than a friend to you, I would gladly oblige. I know I should have probably told you this before we started having sex, but..." finally he trails off, looking up at you.

"Fuck, I'm sorry," he says seeing your tears, thinking he's upset you.

"No, don't apologize," you squeak out, trying to get ahold of your breathing.

"What's wrong?" he asks, coming to kneel next to you, taking your hands in his.

"I- I don't know," you croak, tears still streaming down your cheeks. You truly don't know why you suddenly burst into tears, after having such a calm morning. What Yunho said was sweet, unbelievably so. Your head spins, all the conversations from yesterday again playing through your head, like twenty radios going at the same time. It's incredibly overwhelming when your brain does this, and you grab your ears momentarily to try to make it stop. Yunho wipes the tears from your cheeks, sitting patiently as you calm yourself, as you finally wipe what you think are the last of the tears with the sleeves of his hoodie.

And when you finally look up you're met with big brown eyes that feel like they're looking into the depths of your soul, making your heart ache with a feeling so intense you can't name it. Suddenly the world slows, everything stops. It's just him and you, in this vast forest, and everything feels alright, like it's meant to be. Suddenly you're not feeling your sticky sweaty skin under the hoodie, or the ache in your core. You can't feel any of it when sat in front of you is your favorite person in the entire world. It hits you like a train, that realization. You'd never get over how kind he was to spend nights in the hospital with you, when you were so out of it you hardly remembered a thing. You could have said anything; you knew you acted strange when you were there. But still he was there for you, still he treated you the same. This beautiful, tall, talented man who could have been doing anything he wanted with his life. You could imagine doing everything with him, imagine living with him forever. You couldn't trust him more or respect him more if you tried. You realized the myriad dialogues playing out in your head had gone away, left with only one; a part of you, screaming at the top of her little lungs, 'how did it take you this long to realize?!'

"I'm-I'm so sorry I didn't see it sooner," you stutter, leaning down to hug him, to hold him tight. You have so much you want to say to him, but it's hard to get words out with how overwhelmed you feel.

"Shh, it's okay," Yunho comforts you, holding your head in the crook of his neck.

"I love you too," you say, struggling to find the right words. "I mean, more than platonically, I love you. I'm sorry it took me this long to realize it."

"I thought, maybe, that was the case," he says, chuckling into your hair.

"So even you figured that out before I did?" you ask, huffing out a laugh.

"What do you mean, even me?" he responds. You sit up to look at him again, putting your hands on his shoulders.

"Literally all of our friends knew we liked each other before I did," you say, like it's groundbreaking news.

"Does that surprise you?" he asks, incredulous.

"Well, yeah," you respond.

"They always do that though, don't they? I mean we all knew Hongjoong and Seonghwa liked each other since forever ago, it was just a thing. Sometimes I feel like they know me better than I know myself." You nod in response. It was definitely true with your friend group, time and time again.

"But Yunho, if you thought I liked you why didn't you ask me about it earlier?" you ask.

"I didn't want to put you in an awkward spot," he says, stroking his hand comfortingly down your arm.

"But, wait, how long have you suspected I like you?" you ask.

"Um, a while," he says, trying to think. "I don't remember exactly, but probably the last year or so."

"Year??" you ask, genuinely shocked. "How- what made you think that?"

"The way you are with me, when you're sick. I don't think you realize the things you say..." he trails off, grabbing your hands in his again.

"Oh god, what have I said to you?" you groan, trying to look away.

"It's nothing embarrassing, I swear. You just become so clingy with me, in a different way than you are with Seonghwa. Like, in a literal sense, not wanting me to let you go. You've asked me to sleep in your hospital bed before, and nurses have to kindly ask me to move so I'm not in the way. You will sometimes cry about how worried you are that I'll leave you, in a way that made it feel like we were already together. One time you said you were scared I'd stop loving you because of how sick you were. You'll profess your love for me, beg me to stay with you forever. Things like that."

"That sounds intense," you say, imagining it from his perspective. You shudder at the thought, a part of you feeling sick at how overwhelming it must be to care for someone like you.

"Well, yeah," he responds.

"I'm sor-"

"No. Don't do that." He grabs you tightly again, wrapping you in his arms. "I'm grateful for it all. I'm just so glad we finally talked about this. I'll always love you, no matter what happens. I want you to always remember that."

You nod into his shoulder, squeezing him tightly, just as you hear some foot steps approaching.

"Hi guys, I'm sorry to interrupt," Ari starts, speaking gently. You both break apart to give her your attention. "Can I borrow a pad, or a tampon or something?" she asks you, fidgeting. "I don't know why, but my period started today when it wasn't supposed to till like, next Tuesday."

"Oh my god, of course," you say immediately. "They should just be in my bag, easy to find. Feel free to grab whatever you need. Oh and my Tylenol, it might be in the bathroom if it's not in my bag."

"Thank you so much, you're a life saver," she says over her shoulder as she heads back in quickly, nearly breaking into a run. This cabin is messing with our hormones, you think. At first the thought amuses you, but then it feels scary too. Because what if everything that had happened between you and Yunho here, wouldn't feel the same back home? What if your feelings would change? It had taken the chaotic events of this trip to bring them to the surface, and would the monotony and business of real life bury them again?

There's also the possibility that it was inevitable, that all along this was going to happen. It certainly seems that everyone else thinks that, and that offers you some reassurance. But you can't help your own doubts, and your intense fear of what this means. It's all finally in the open, your feelings at least. But will you actually date? There is so much to discuss, and although he knows a lot, Yunho doesn't know the full of extent of your health issues. How much it can affect you, randomly for weeks or even months, how your sex drive changes, your moods change, your likes and dislikes even, if complicated medical issues are happening. You know you're bound to be pissed at him, to not want his attentions sometimes. You know he's bound to be way busier than you; which could be a good thing, you remind yourself. But if spending less time together feels almost relieving in a way, then is dating really the right thing to do? Maybe relationships with other people in general aren't really something you're built for. It's not like you've made many friends since high school, and the ones you have are almost exclusively online. You feel your soreness again, like a stabbing reminder of how messed up your body is.

"What are you thinking about?" Yunho asks you, cutting off your train of thought. It takes you a few moments, but you manage to collect your thoughts.

"Do you realize how sick I am?" you ask, your voice small.

"What do you mean?" The look he gives you is one of genuine care. It makes your heart flutter.

"I- just- I don't know what this is going to be going forward, but like, I can't date someone in the normal way. No, that's not a good way of putting it," you sigh into your hands. Gathering yourself you start again. "Dating me isn't even like dating someone with a diagnosed disease or disability. My health issues are ever changing, and none of them have been truly figured out. Obviously I've fainted since I was young, but sometimes I go through periods where I barely do at all, and then other times it's super frequent. Sometimes I randomly develop an allergy to a new food, and I have to basically obsessively read through every item I buy at the grocery store to make sure I'm not accidentally injesting it. There was a time, three years ago, when I had no desire for anything sexual for like, half a year. My periods were so bad, and everything down there just always felt weird and it hurt, and I literally thought I might never feel horny ever again. These things just, happen, and there's no way for me to predict them. And it would mean that, being with me, would be different," you finish, with a huge sigh.

"I know all of that already," Yunho says, sighing himself.

"But, so- what do you want to happen?" you ask, finally getting to crux of what you wanted to know.

"Whatever you want," he says.

"That's not true, that can't be," you say, feeling dubious. "There must be something specific that you want."

"I want to date you," he says. "But I knew you might not want that, because of everything you have going on. So whatever you're willing to do, I'm in."

"Yunho," you sigh, frustrated. Frustrated because those words feel too good to be true, and as much as you trust him in so many ways, a part of you still wants to run away in doubt. It's a huge deal, trusting someone with this part of you, and it's just hit you now that you've been sleeping with him, in more ways than one, and you haven't batted an eye. If he ever did something, in any scenario but especially a sexual one, that hurt you, it would be so hard to recover. Things had happened in the past to make you understand that. You were so determined to never let those things happen again, that you'd basically stopped dating or even thinking about it. You could physically please yourself, and have your friendships to give you companionship. You'd never felt very centered on romantic relationships anyway. You had so written off the possibility of developing another romantic relationship that you'd stumbled into one without much of a thought. It made you feel so stupid, so immature. It was hard not to scream at yourself internally.

"What do you want to happen?" he asks you, placing a hand on your knee comfortingly.

"I- I don't want to lose you," you say, sighing into yourself. "And I don't want to get hurt. I don't want- I- I don't know."

"I won't hurt you," he says, squeezing your knee.

"I know you'd never intend to, but you can't guarantee that," you say. "And I can't guarantee I won't hurt you, either."

"Isn't it still worth it?" he asks.

"It depends what we decide to do," you say, eyes soft.

"I love you," he says again. It's all he can think to say right now, seeing how much you seem to be spiraling. And it works; it brings you back down into your body, into the chair you're sitting on. Suddenly you feel heavy, like the weight of all of your thoughts crashed down on you in an instant.

"I love you too," you say, nearly tearing up again. "This got way too serious and heavy," you say, trying to shake loose the dread starting to fill your veins.

"Why don't we do something fun today, then?" he asks.

"Like what?" you ask, nodding your head.

"Do you want to go to the falls, just the two of us? I felt bad you couldn't really join in the other day when we all went. If you feel up to it," he says.

"That sounds perfect," you reply, smiling at him. You're thankful he seems okay leaving the conversation where it was. You could feel yourself coming undone a bit, your thoughts running out of control, and you knew there was truly no use in continuing. You needed to reset, to calm down, and Yunho's suggestion seemed like just the thing to make you feel right again.

***

Inside you both change into your swimsuits, grabbing towels and water and snacks for your journey. Yunho liberally applies sunscreen to your body, obviously enjoying the proximity, but also genuinely wanting to protect your skin. You burn extremely easily, and sunburns always make you feel exhausted for days.

"Everyone, the two of us are going to the falls," he announces to the room as you head towards the back door. "Follow at your own risk. Consider this your official warning," he says, eyeing everyone, making you giggle at the implication. He hopes they know what he means.

You take the walk slowly, again picking flowers from the path and putting them in his hair. It's hard for you to resist your little habit, given just how beautiful the landscape is out here. You love the wilderness, but your friends and family and life are in the city, so you cherish your moments out in nature when you can. Especially when you get to place flowers in Yunho's shaggy hair, that you absolutely love. You still haven't told him that, and it gnaws at you now that things are different between you. It wasn't something you would have necessarily thought to tell him before. You generally avoided having strong opinions about others' appearances because you just didn't feel it was your place. But your opinions about his clothes, his hair, had always been a bit stronger. You'd certainly noticed it from time to time, that you reacted when he borrowed his dad's suit for a wedding, or when he'd cut his hair a certain way. Maybe a part of you felt awkward about telling him that, in a way you wouldn't about any of your other friends. You'd justified to yourself that you never said anything because he didn't care about those things either, so you didn't need to say it. But now you realized, maybe it was because you felt nervous. Because there were lingering feelings there that you weren't really aware of.

"I really like your hair right now," you blurt out, not wanting to wait any longer. You were done being distant from your feelings, not understanding them when it came to him. It was too important to you now.

"Oh, really?" he asks you, turning to you with a smile as you near the lake. "The other day my mom said I desperately need a haircut," he laughs.

"No, I like it long like this," you say, admiring your work. You know the flowers will disappear as soon as he dives in the falls, but for now they're beautiful.

"Then I'm keeping it," he says, sighing contentedly as you finally reach your destination.

The falls are beautiful today, the sky bright and blue reflected in the sparkly clear water. You set your things down on a smooth rock, far enough from the edge that they won't fall in. Quickly Yunho dives in, and you follow after him much more carefully, gently lowering yourself into the wonderfully chilly water. The temperature is a welcome pairing with the heat of the day, and you sigh, taking a deep breath before finally dunking your head under. You swim out towards the actual waterfall, breathing in the mist that forms at the bottom, the sound nearly deafening when you're so close. But it feels electric; moments like these always do, when your body is well enough for you to be out experiencing something intoxicating and brilliant. Yunho sidles up beside you, pulling you with him as he ducks through the water to come behind the fall. Behind there is a small cave, invisible to the outside world, with light bouncing across the ceiling as water droplets skip along the surface, finding their final resting place after their journey over the cliff.

Yunho's hands are on you quickly, as you wrap your legs around his waist and your arms around his shoulders. He's holding you up, making it so you don't have to do any work, so that you can just breathe deep and enjoy the peace of the cave. In the water your bodies move slowly, sensually, and it makes you want to touch him as closely as you can. His wet hair sticks to his forehead, water beading down his face and shoulders. The gentle light dances across his face, and the steady sound from the falling water is almost hypnotizing. Your lips are on his before you know it, and it feels just right to open your mouth as he sucks on your bottom lip, letting out a soft moan. His hands are groping you, holding you up by your ass, snaking underneath your bikini bottoms. In here it truly feels like only you and him exist, and you release into that feeling, into the realization of just how strong your feelings for him are. You keep kissing him, small pecks of love, running your fingers through his hair and brushing it out of his face. You tug on it gently, not knowing if he likes that but so intoxicated by the pleasure you're feeling. Yunho groans, making you tug harder, your breathing speeding up from his reaction.

"I wanna fuck you out here," he says over the rushing water, his lips swollen from the kiss. You groan, grinding your hips into his as you lick across his lower lip, coaxing his mouth open again. Your tongues swipe over each other, you both incredibly hungry for more.

"Follow me," he says, starting to make his way back out of the cave. The bright sun feels shocking for a moment when you exit the dimness of the cave, but it feels wonderful. Like you've been transported back to literal paradise. You follow behind him as he swims towards the muddy bank of the lake, the part that boarders a bunch of trees and is relatively shady. When you arrive he lifts you up, sitting you down on the side of the lake where he can reach you.

His lips are back on yours in moments, his hands now able to explore the entirety of your bikini, snaking underneath your top to feel your chest, rubbing his thumbs enticingly over your nipples that are already hard from the cool water. A gentle breeze blows through the woods, making your wet skin feel cold. Your body shivers, from the breeze and from Yunho's touch, and you sigh in pleasure.

"Can I take this off?" Yunho asks as he tugs at your bikini, and you nod, starting to help him remove it. "Wait," he stops you, just for a moment. "You don't really answer me, when we're having sex. Do you like being so non-verbal?"

You just nod in response, showing him just how much it's true.

"Do you like me telling you what to do? Or do you want me to ask?" he continues.

"Either," you say, managing one word.

"And you'd tell me if you didn't like something?" he asks.

"Of course," you answer, feeling it's important. "I just don't like having to talk too much."

"I understand," Yunho nods, taking in your answer. He actually finds it incredibly hot, but again, it's not really something you've fully talked through yet. He so badly wants to know that he isn't hurting you, ever.

"Take this off then," he says, gently tugging on your bikini before pulling back from you. You throw it on the bank behind you, and it falls between two flowers in the grass.

Your feet sink into the mud as he pulls your legs again towards him, gently pushing them open. With your arms behind you, and bare chest to the sky, your naked body is on full display. Yunho's hands trace over the entirety of you, his legs still in the water as he kneels down, bringing himself closer to your center. He eyes your cunt hungrily, and it makes you throb, just how much his demeanor changes when he's finally truly in control. Your whole body buzzes from your surroundings, from the knowledge that you're in the wide open air and anyone could see.

"You like being naked in the forest, don't you," he says, seeing the way you so freely tossed your clothing, how comfortably you bore yourself to the world. You blush and giggle, soaking in the smells of the forest and grass behind you.

Yunho's hands slink down your thighs, finally coming to gently brush over your slit, when you jolt back in pain. The wimper that escapes you is pathetic, the realization of just how sensitive your pussy still is hitting you. It makes you upset, almost irrationally so.

"What's wrong baby?" he asks, immediately coming to comfortingly stroke your cheek.

"She hurts," you pout, looking down.

"Does she need a break today?" he asks.

"I guess," you say, frowning dramatically.

"That's okay baby, you don't need to be upset," he says, pulling you into a hug.

"But I want to do stuff," you whine into his shoulder.

"If your body needs a break, then we should give it a break," he says logically, making you roll your eyes. You feel petulant, and just want this time at the falls to be perfect.

"Is there anything that would help her feel better?" he asks, stroking a hand down your back.

"You could massage her," you say, smiling into him.

"What do you mean? Inside or outside?" he asks. You know it doesn't really make sense, the idea of massaging a pussy. But it makes sense to you.

"Just outside like, real gentle," you say, your voice small.

Yunho pulls back, gently bringing his hand down to your slit again. You inhale sharply at the initial contact, your body reacting without your control. But soon his methodical, slow movements up and down start to feel good. You body finally relaxes into it, your head dropping back as you soak in the warmth of the air. Yunho continues moving his fingers up and down, over and over brushing gently over your clit when he reaches the apex of his movements. The pleasure grows steadily each time and soon you're moaning softly, dropping to your elbows and spreading your legs even wider as your body starts to revel in the feeling.

"Does it feel good baby?" he asks you, and you nod your head, whining in response. He moves his thumb up to focus on your clit, gathering the wetness from your entrance and spreading it around. He adds more pressure to his small circular movements, the focus making your clit feel hot and sensitive. Waves of pleasure run down your legs and race up your abdomen, making your body feel sizzling hot in the summer air. You arch your back further, pushing yourself harder into his fingers, chasing the pleasure.

"You want more?" he asks, making you mewl in response. "I know you can take more baby, even if you're sore. Relax your pussy for me," he says before lining up his other hand, gently gathering more of your wetness on his middle finger before pushing it inside of you. You gasp instantaneously, again wincing at the initial pain. But with his other hand working your clit the pain quickly leaves you, your insides feeling like they're melting from the pleasure. His long fingers feel like they reach all the way inside of you, all the way into your guts, and it feels electric. Your breathing is ragged, your awareness no where else but your core and his fingers. "Good, you're so relaxed for me. I knew you could take it," he says, slowly pumping his finger in and out, focusing on putting pressure on that spongy sensitive spot that feels the best. "That feels good, doesn't it?" he asks, and you moan in response, almost whimpering. It makes blood rush to his cock seeing you so engrossed in how good you feel, the way you can so fully submit to him and your body and all the pleasure it gives you. "You need more," he says, no longer asking. He adds another finger, careful at first to not stretch you painfully fast. Once he can tell your body is ready for it he pumps faster, still focused on adding pressure in the right places.

Your moans are higher pitched now, your clit feeling red hot with pleasure. Your pussy is still sore but it feels so good, his movements mimicking the night before but not as rough, your body remembering everything that had transpired between the two of you the past few days. It's like everything with him; it builds, slowly, and suddenly you realize it's the best feeling in the world having him in control like this, able to read your body perfectly. A true dream come true, and it makes your head fuzzy with desire as you realize just how much you like it when he touches you all over, when he takes you out to a lake in the wide open air and touches you where anyone could see. Your careful, boring life would never have anyone suspect you like this and yet he could see, he knew. It almost feels fated that you went down this path, not knowing for so long what your true feelings were. Truly, how could this get any bett-

"Baby, stop thinking," Yunho says, bringing you back to him. And in a moment you're coming, the feeling ripping through you from your clit, making your whole body tingly with warmth and pleasure. The tightening muscles of your core are sore, but still clamp down around Yunho's fingers as you ride it out, your hips rolling to meet his movements. "Good girl, good girl," he repeats in your ear, or at least it feels like he's whispering into your ear, your eyes closed and taking in every sound so vividly. You finally lay fully flat on your back, riding out the last of your orgasm, your body limp and relaxed against the dirt and grass on the bank. Finally you blink open to look at him, seeing the blown pupils you love so much, taking his hand off your clit with a small 'too much.' He smiles at you, stroking that hand across your stomach and leaning down to kiss you, hungrily coaxing your mouth open and then pulling back to suck on your bottom lip.

***

And unbeknownst to both of you, Wooyoung watched on from behind a tree, his hand down his pants as he palms his painfully hard cock, trying to offer himself some relief. He understood Yunho's implication a mile away, and after spending a long time coming up with a good excuse, trekked his way up the hill to find you two. He really was getting incessantly horny on this trip, which wasn't completely out of the ordinary given his typical predisposition to horniness. But something on this trip especially, the amount of sex happening around him, made him feel insatiable.

As he crested the small hill before the lake he saw you two immediately, saw Yunho's hands under your bathing suit and your head thrown back in pleasure, the perfect curve of Yunho's back as he leaned into you, his hands possessively roaming. Wooyoung felt himself getting hard immediately, especially as he snuck around to between the trees, the threat of being caught adding to the arousal pooling in his pants. He saw you two talking, saw some exchange happen. And then your were stripping off your bikini, throwing it behind you, and your naked body was bare to the sky. He'd told you a million times how hot you were, and you usually laughed it off; but he truly meant it. Though he couldn't hear any of the words between you he could sense your submission and the way Yunho was taking control, the way he comforted you when you seemed to be in pain, and the way he reached down again and touched you differently. Wooyoung wished he could experience Yunho's domination, how kind and gentle it was. It wasn't his usual style, not what he usually wanted. But something about seeing the two of you together made him ever so slightly jealous; it made him think of the woman he was now involved with, how he missed her hands on him.

His hand provided him some pleasure but it just wasn't enough, just couldn't satisfy him the way he needed. His dick was hard and leaking in his shorts, and the longer he watched he just didn't care anymore; he pushed them down, his movements becoming more erratic as he chased his pleasure, not caring when he heard some twigs snap under his foot. The pleasure was good, so good, but he knew it couldn't be enough for him. Did he just watch you come? God he needed the feel of someone else, the intensity of fucking another person. He needed a better look at you, needed to see all that he could, so he stepped beside the tree, a larger branch snapping under his weight and echoing against the cliff, making Yunho's head snap up.

"Wooyoung, Jesus Christ," Yunho laughed, lifting himself off of you and helping you sit up, his two fingers still inside you.

"Oh my god, Woo," you laughed too, seeing his boner even all these feet away. It made you feel good, your core clenching a moment as your realized he'd been watching.

"Sorry, I-" Wooyoung sputtered, not sure what to say. Desperately he pulled up his shorts, his cock creating an obvious tent in the material. You both keep laughing, looking over at his pathetic face, his cheeks red from being caught. Painfully, it turned him on even more, the way you both were laughing at him. "This isn't fair," he whined, trying to look away from your naked bodies.

"What do you mean?" you asked him, still laughing.

"I'm fucking horny," he whined again, his tone still pitiful, but the smirk on his face betrayed just how much he was loving this. "And you guys just keep laughing at me; I'm not even trying to be funny."

"What are you trying to do then?" Yunho asked, eyeing him.

"I-" he started, stopping himself.

"Woo, just say it," you giggled, loving every moment of seeing Wooyoung like this.

"I'm trying to- I need someone to fuck me," he blurted out, finally.

"And you're hoping it'll be me?" you jokingly batted your eyelashes at him, making his head feel fuzzy. "Or, him?" you asked, pointing at Yunho.

"Either of you, I don't care," Woo responded, his whole body flushed with how turned on he was.

"You don't prefer me?" you asked, acting like you were hurt.

"Y/n," Wooyoung groaned, his hand coming put to cover his face. "I know you're fucking with me," he sighed, trying to collect himself.

"Yeah, stop messing with poor horny Wooyoung," Yunho laughed, his hand still inside you. He liked feeling the way your pussy clenched as you teased Wooyoung; you clearly loved doing it, and he filed that thought away for later.

"You both suck," Wooyoung groaned, carefully untangling his shoe from the broken branch, making his way back towards the trail.

"Woo, maybe just ask someone instead of sneaking up on them," Yunho called, his tone light as he chuckled. Neither of you really minded his intrusion, it just probably wasn't the way he was going to succeed at his little mission.

Tumbling down the trail Wooyoung almost broke into a run, adrenaline from the conversation he'd just finished coursing through him. As he neared the cabin he tried to slow down, steadying his breaths as he spotted Mingi shooting hoops by himself, shirtless and no doubt sweaty in the afternoon heat. Taking Yunho's advice he decided to play it as cool as he could, approaching Mingi with a clear goal instead of messily stumbling up a mountain in a pure horny haze.

"Mingi!" he called out, making his way over towards the court.

"Hey Woo," Mingi replied, passing him the basketball. Wooyoung wound up, missing the basket completely, the ball bouncing away into the grass.

"You really are terrible at shooting," Mingi laughed, jogging over to pick up the ball.

"Not nice," Wooyoung pouted, his arms crossing over his chest. "I'm very good at plenty of other things," he stated, jutting out a hip.

"Oh, sure you are," Mingi joked. You weren't the only one who enjoyed messing with Wooyoung; in fact, it was kind of a default setting for most of you. It was just too fun, seeing him get all flustered and bothered in the way that he did. The crazy thing was Mingi hadn't even seen Woo's shorts yet, too focused on retrieving the basketball a moment ago.

"I am," Wooyoung fixed Mingi with a steely gaze, just as Mingi wound up for a shot. The ball bounced off the backboard, headed straight for Wooyoung, but he didn't even bother catching it as he continued to stare Mingi down.

"Woo, what are you- oh my god," Mingi laughed, finally seeing the tent in his shorts. "Did I do that?" he joked, pointing. Wooyoung's face grew pink again, that feeling of being caught doing something bad returning in full force.

"Well, yeah," Woo responded, snaking his eyes down Mingi's entire body. "You're out here playing basketball shirtless, how was I supposed to react?"

Mingi smiled and laughed, honestly flattered by Woo's admission. "So you had an ulterior motive, you didn't actually want to play with me?" he asked, jogging to the back of the court to pick up the ball Woo had let go.

"Mingi, I'm horny," Wooyoung groaned, eyeing him pathetically.

"I'm shocked," Mingi responded, laughing again.

"Mingi," Woo groaned again. "I need someone to help me, to, take care of it," he mumbled, his body tingling with embarrassment.

"Just go jack off, if it's that bad," Mingi replied, shooting the basketball again. It was all so casual to him, this conversation not affecting him the way Wooyoung hoped. Well, that was a failed attempt. Grumbling something incoherent Wooyoung walked away, heading towards the back of the house until he spotted Seonghwa and Hongjoong out by the trees, laying together in the grass. He walked his way over, determined to play it right this time.

"Hi guys," he said brightly, finally coming upon them to see Hongjoong on top of Seonghwa, their lips pressed together in a deep kiss. They were more tangled together than Wooyoung realized, and he braced for the response.

"Oh my god, Woo, you fucking scared me," Hongjoong sputtered, lifting himself enough to look at him. "What's up?" he asked, confused by the sudden interruption.

"How- how are you guys, doing?" Wooyoung asked hesitantly, trying to tread lightly.

"Um, good. We're kind of in the middle of something," Hongjoong replied, Seonghwa holding back a laugh underneath him.

"I know, I- um-" Woo stuttered, not able to come out with it.

"Woo, is something wrong?" Hongjoong asked, getting annoyed.

"No, I'm-"

"Okay then what are you doing! We're clearly in the middle of something!" he nearly yelled, his dick hard in his pants and frustrated with the lack of action he was getting. Wooyoung pouted, the sharp sound of Hongjoong's voice penetrating through him. He liked being yelled at like that.

"He probably wants to join us," Seonghwa laughed, his body still lax against the grass.

"Oh, I should have guessed," Hongjoong replied, laughing too. A moment lapsed, the two of them giggling into each other, before their faces came close again. But just before they could kiss again Seonghwa held his hand against Hongjoong's shoulder, stopping him.

"Woo, seriously, we want to spend some quality time just the two of us," Seonghwa said, his voice gentle but his demand clear.

"God, all of you suck," Wooyoung huffed before turning on his heel, stalking his way back towards the cabin. He now had his sights set on the bathroom, his needs growing too severely now for him to keep wasting time hoping that one of you would join him. It was time to deal with this himself, even if it wouldn't compare to what he really wanted.

When he busted through the door he didn't even consider acting normal for everyone; his desperation was too severe. Ari noticed his strange demeanor right away, pulling him aside in the hallway.

"What's wrong?" he asked, her voice soft.

"Nothing, nothing," Wooyoung replied, trying not to be driven crazy by how attentive she was being. God, he really just needed to lock himself in that bathroom and get this shit over with.

"Woo, clearly it's something," she said eyeing his crotch, wracking her brain for what exactly it could be.

"I really shouldn't have worn these damn shorts," Woo sighed, shaking his head at just how poor his choice was. They truly were the worst, the thin grey material leaving absolutely nothing to the imagination. "Sorry, I'm just so horny right now and no one I asked was willing to, uh, sleep with me," he laughed. Saying it out loud made him realize how silly it all was, some of his tension melting away.

"Woo, I-" Ari looked over to San, seeing him engrossed in a conversation with Yeosang and Jongho. "Give me a sec, stay right here," she said before grabbing San, pulling him into their shared bedroom for a quick conversation. Soon she had returned, Wooyoung waiting patiently with his hands covering his crotch as he tried to act as normal as possible.

"Woo, come with me," Ari beckoned, holding out her hand. He grabbed it, following diligently towards the master bedroom. Once inside Ari sat him on a chair, her and San facing him while they sat on their bed.

"Woo, you seem very in need, and well, we're offering to help you," Ari started, not a single awkward pause tainting her sentence.

"Wait, really?" Woo asked looking between the two of them, absolutely shocked. They were the last people he'd ever have thought would be open to this, mostly because he'd never even met San and had no way of knowing what sort of thing he was into. But even Ari, she'd never seemed like the kind of person who'd want to share.

"Yes really. We can, tonight, if you want to," she finished, San nodding along. They'd actually discussed this possibility of this exact scenario about a month before, both laughing at the time about how unlikely it was to really happen. But they both found Wooyoung attractive, and decided they wouldn't rule out the idea of messing around with him together. At that time San had only seen pictures and spoken to Woo on the phone a few times; still, his interest was piqued.

"I-" Woo stuttered again, his words failing him badly with how fuzzy his head had felt for nearly the entire afternoon. "I don't know if, if my girlfriend will like it," he suddenly blurted out, surprising everyone, including himself.

"You have a girlfriend?" Ari asked.

"Yeah, that woman Mingi told you guys about, that choreographer," he responded.

"So things are really that serious, between you two?" Ari asked, so curious. There was no judgement in her tone, this was just truly a bit out of character for Wooyoung.

"We haven't discussed it yet," Woo replied, his own eyes still wide.

"Why didn't you invite her to come along?" San asked him, smiling at how genuine Woo's surprise clearly was.

"I- I didn't even think to," Wooyoung sighed, shaking his head.

"You should text her, we've still got a few days. And aren't your cousins leaving tomorrow morning? That'll free up some space on the couches," Ari said, smiling genuinely at Wooyoung.

"Fuck, I should," Woo smiled, the corners of his lips turning up ever so slightly. "I'm sorry guys, I hope I'm not making you feel rejected or anything, by saying no. I'd gladly fuck both of you, any day," he finished, making them both laugh.

"Don't apologize Woo, it's no big deal. Go, go text her," Ari responded, shooing Wooyoung out of the room. It was honestly so adorable how genuine Wooyoung was being, so careful with this woman's feelings, and it made Ari so happy to see her friend experiencing what all of you had wanted for him for so long.

***

The day pulled to an end, the sun starting to fall beyond the tree line, covering the sky in a beautiful subtle shade of orange. S'mores were on the menu tonight, the whole group of you gathered around the fire pit as Yunho and Mingi stoked the fire, their faces lit up with the brilliant light of the flames. You sat wrapped up in Yunho's hoodie again, yawning hard as you shivered in the cold air of the night. Earlier, when you'd finally made it back to the cabin, you'd realized your skin was burnt, and it only took a few hours for the exhaustion to start setting in. So much for trying to be careful, you thought. But it really was worth it today, getting to spend all that time alone with Yunho.

"How was everyone's day?" Ari asks from San's lap, a blanket wrapped around the two of them.

"So good," you smile at her, and she waggled her eyebrows at you, making you laugh. "I wish I could go to that waterfall, like, every weekend," you say, a murmur of agreement passing through the group.

"I'm sure Wooyoung wishes you could do that too," Yunho adds, looking over at Wooyoung with a smirk.

"Do tell," Ari prompts him, seeing clearly he has a story to share.

"Well, Woo came and interrupted me and y/n while we were, you know, in the middle of the things out by the lake. It was funny," he laughs, smiling at you.

"He did the same to us," Hongjoong responds, making both you and Yunho's eyebrows jump up.

"Woo I told you not to sneak up on anyone else," Yunho chastises him, laughing harder.

"Damn Woo, you really asked everyone today," Mingi laughs, smirking.

"You all are such cunts," Wooyoung responds, fighting back the laughter himself. "You just keep rubbing it in my damn face how you're having sex every goddamn day we're here."

"I haven't been," Mingi retorts, earning an eye roll form Wooyoung.

"Okay well you're rubbing it in my face how perfect your body is, so yeah, you still qualify as a cunt," Wooyoung responds.

"Did you text your girlfriend Woo?" Ari asks.

"Girlfriend?" you ask, looking at him expectantly.

"Yes, girlfriend. And yes I did; she said she has to check her schedule but she's probably coming tomorrow," Woo responds, looking almost nervous.

"Oh my god Woo, this is so exciting!" Ari responds.

"Wait, are you two like, together together? Officially?" you ask. Woo nods, that shy smile not leaving his lips.

"Look at him, he's growing up," Seonghwa sighs, making you all laugh. There is a palpable relief washing through the group, at seeing Wooyoung willing to explore a relationship again after swearing everything about love off so long ago. High school relationships can be so scarring, and a big part of you felt so thankful you never even considered dating at that age, despite at the time feeling like you were missing out on something so integral to growing up.

"And what's the deal with you two?" Ari eyes you and Yunho, smiling at the way your eyes can't even meet hers.

"We haven't talked about it yet, we'll tell you guys in our own time," Yunho responds, not angry by any means but firm enough to shut down the line of inquiry.

"Things are good," you add, seeing the curious looks of everyone.

"Your boyfriend is really cool, by the way," Jongho says to Ari, earning a small chorus of 'so true' and 'I agree' from the group.

"Thank you, that's so nice to hear," Ari responds, snuggling closer in San's lap. "You always worry what people will think of your boyfriend, especially your favorite people."

"He seems basically perfect," you say, Ari's face lighting up with a smile. San has finally lost the battle with himself, his own face curling into a shy smile that makes his dimples pop.

"Aw look, he's blushing!" Mingi calls, making you all break into giggles once again. "Here, who wants the first one?" he asks holding up a toasty marshmallow, Wooyoung holding out his plate of graham crackers and chocolate. "Be careful guys, they're gonna be really hot," he says as he pops another marshmallow on his stick, carefully holding it the perfect distance above the now-steady fire. Eventually you all have hot marshmallows on your plate, the chocolate melty inside the delicious sugary sandwich you all are enjoying. Well, everyone except you has melty chocolate, because of course chocolate was one of those pesky things you couldn't eat. Still you enjoyed the treat, resting your head against the back of your chair as you all chowed down, the group falling into near silence.

"She said she can come tomorrow morning," Wooyoung suddenly announces after checking his phone, the light from the sun nearly totally gone now. You all murmur in approval, genuinely excited to meet this woman who your dear friend so cares about. Soon everyone is done, wiping their faces as they finish the last of their s'mores, the fire slowly starting to die as Yunho and Mingi let it burn out. In the darkness of the night you can see so many stars, the sight always taking your breath away when you have the chance to see it. You lay staring up for a while, trying to find the constellations you know, your eyes eventually feeling too heavy to hold open. Soon you're woken from your slumber by Yunho, as he carries you inside to properly go to bed, your head resting against his shoulder as he carries you. You're out moments after snuggling into the soft sheets of your bed nook, your mind enveloped in a comforting darkness after the wonderful day you'd just had.

#yunho smut #ateez smut #ateez x reader #yunho x reader #ateez yunho #ateez

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simplyraeblue · 2 months ago

Text

hunter and hunted (jjk)

college (summer) break au: a fic in which y/n is pining over Yuji's older brother Sukuna, while unbeknownst to her, Choso is doing the same thing for her. contents: sukuna x reader, choso x reader, modern college AU, yuji and choso are brothers, sukuna and yuji are brothers, smut warning, fem reader

chapter warnings/tags: mild angst, swearing, filthy raunchy smut, oral (reader receiving), squirting, p in v, creampie, i was diabolic writing this, choso's an oral god, use of "angel" A/N: oh my god I can't believe we've come to the end... how? how how how? it feels like just yesterday I started this hot mess of a fanfic and now it's complete. if you hated it; sucks for you. if you loved it; thank you so much. THANK YOU to all who have commented, reblogged, and showed continous support for this mini series! ദ്ദി(ó﹏ò｡) i love you all so much muah muah MUAH! I've got a little treat in store at the end of this for you, so stay tuned!

index part fourteen | the end no more sorry

master list

part fifteen word count : 5,764 (+ 635 in bonus content)

two months later

school was in full swing again, and the weather was shifting; sandals were swapped for boots, and ball caps into beanies. students flooded the campus in heavy coats, clutching their textbooks, but not everyone could adapt to the change.

your breath formed a fog in front of you as you hurried through campus, realizing you were late. oh so fucking late. Yuji was already waiting for you at the library, ready to scold you for neglecting your studies – though really it would be Megumi doing the actual scolding.

your phone buzzed in your pocket, and as you pulled it out to check the message, you let out a frustrated sigh. of course, Nobara was skipping the study session. she always preferred wild Thursday nights to hitting the books. honestly, you kind of wished you had done the same.

after rushing (silently) through the library, you finally spotted Yuji and Megumi in a study room. you pushed through the door and immediately felt Megumi’s disapproving gaze. “you’re late.” he said with a tut.

Yuji groaned, sliding him a small bill, and your jaw dropped. “you bet on whether I’d be late?” you asked, setting your things down a bit harder than necessary.

“not if you’d be late, but how late.” Yuji clarified as you took a seat. you quickly flipped open your textbook, trying to catch up to where they were while both of them just stared at you.

you glared at them, eyebrows furrowed. “what? you’re looking at me like I committed a crime by being late.”

“we were just wondering…” Yuji started.

“…if you wanted to skip studying and join Nobara.” Megumi finished.

you gasped. “Megumi Fushiguro, you want to party instead of study? what has gotten into you?”

Megumi rolled his eyes, but there was a hint of amusement in his expression. “don’t act so surprised. you know how important studying is to me, but even we need a break sometimes.”

you crossed your arms, pretending to be annoyed. “sure, but you’re the last person I expected to suggest ditching our study session. what’s next, are you going to start dancing at parties?”

Yuji chuckled, nudging Megumi playfully. “hey, maybe we could both use some fun. besides, Nobara always knows how to make things exciting. it could be a nice change of pace.”

you hesitated, glancing back at your textbook, then at their eager faces. “but what about grades?” pfft yeah right.

“they’ll still be there when we get back.” Megumi said, his tone surprisingly persuasive. “just one night won’t hurt.”

you took a deep breath, weighing your options. part of you wanted to dive into your studies, but the thought of a spontaneous night out with friends was tempting. finally, you sighed, a smile creeping onto your face. “alright, but only for a little while! we’ll come back and study after.”

“no we won’t!” Yuji joked as he patted Megumi’s back and stood from his chair.

so now, here you were, three shots deep into a bar with your friends. “I can’t believe you convinced Megumi to come out!” Nobara shouted over the music, arm slung around your shoulder.

“actually, it was his idea!” you responded with a grin. everyone was surprised, truly, but you weren’t complaining.

the last two months had been nothing short of dreary, and you didn’t mean the weather.

moving out of Yuji’s house had been the right choice. it felt like you could finally breathe again, even though each breath still carried a twinge of pain in your heart. while you were relieved to escape the heavy tension between Sukuna and Choso, you missed the latter with every fiber of your being.

it wasn’t for lack of effort on his side. for the first month, Choso had begged Yuji for your address, but found that his brother was under strict orders not to share it. he called and texted constantly, yet you couldn’t bring yourself to respond to any of it.

you were determined to stick to the belief that he would find someone better without you.

Sukuna, on the other hand, had been much more persistent. by the third week of living in your new apartment, he showed up on your doorstep. despite your protests, he somehow ended up on your couch, enduring nearly an hour of your yelling.

in the end, he accepted defeat. you vividly remember the relief you felt when Sukuna asked, “can we just be friends?”

friends. yes, you could manage that. any feelings you had for Sukuna had faded away during your relationship with Choso, and while you hadn’t fully realized it at the time, you were sure of it now.

now here you were, being nagged by both Yuji and Sukuna, urging you to reach out to Choso. how had you gone from hating the eldest brother to listening to him go on about how you’d made the biggest mistake?

“do you realize how this has affected him?” Sukuna asked one night over a pint of beer at a pub. “while I could drown out my heartbreak-“

“oh, sure.” you rolled your eyes.

“-excuse me. get over my bruised ego, then.” Sukuna smirked at your reaction, though he meant what he said. he understood now wasn’t the right moment to delve deeper. “I could go out, pick up a woman at the bar, and bring her home. Choso, though? he hasn’t done any of that. I haven’t seen him talk to a woman once.”

“yeah, right. Choso could walk down the street and charm any girl.” you joked, but the thought made your stomach churn.

Sukuna chuckled. “doesn’t matter. he’s barely left his room.”

“oh.” was all you could manage.

since that day, the calls and texts from Choso had stopped. whether he had given up or found happiness elsewhere, you chose not to think about it.

instead, you decided to spend tonight drowning your feelings with Nobara, Megumi and Yuji. no thinking of Choso, no thinking of Choso, you repeated the mantra over and over just as you’d done over the past two months.

Nobara spent half the night shoving you gently in the direction of other men, trying to get you to flirt and have fun. no matter how many times you tried to dissuade her, she kept telling you that it was time to move on. but even when a guy would be trying to sweet talk you, you kept having to shake away images of those twin black buns and tattoo striped across the nose. how could anyone compare?

Yuji and Megumi tried to lift your spirits as well by forcing you to dance with them. but eventually, their sweet romantics would make you feel even worse, to no fault of their own. you were just remembering the night Choso saved you from that creepy guy in a bar.

“Yuji…” you whined, leaning heavily against the bar with your head in your hands. the music blared around you as Nobara tried to slide another drink your way, but you waved it off, no longer in the mood. “did I really fuck up? just be honest with me.”

Yuji offered a sympathetic pat on your head, a gesture that only irritated you more. he’d taken to doing it since your breakup; it made you feel like a helpless child, vulnerable and lost. “I think you did what was best for you.” he said softly, but the words felt hollow and you could see past the fake bullshit he was spewing.

“but… I don’t know anymore.” you really didn’t. the weight of uncertainty settled in your chest. moving out had felt like the right choice, but breaking things off with Choso? that was a different story. “I just really miss him.

“then why haven’t you talked to him?” Megumi interjected, his expression neutral as if he were presenting the most logical solution in the world.

“I can’t. he’s better off without a brother-fucking girlfriend.”

“I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that.” Yuji grimaced, shaking his head at your remark. the thought of you being… intimate with either of his brothers still made him a little queasy. after a moment, he leaned in closer. “he’s not better off without you. trust me, I know my brother. he might act like he’s fine, but he’s a complete mess without you. his music’s gotten louder – like he’s trying to drown out the silence – and he spends all his time in the dark in his room. I haven’t heard him touch his xbox in weeks. he’s just… an empty shell now. honestly, he’s even more emo than before, if that’s even possible.”

maybe Yuji was right. maybe you hadn’t necessarily made the wrong choice at the time, but the long-term effects felt crushing. you wanted Choso to be happy, that was why you left. if you were happy, great. if Choso was happy, even better. as you often reminded yourself, it was with or without you. but the idea of him suffering made your heart ache.

“I just keep thinking about the good times.” you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. “I remember how he used to smile when I’d surprise him with his favorite snacks, or how he’d get lost in his music for hours. it’s like I can still hear him playing those songs in my head.”

Yuji watched you closely, his expression softening. “but it’s not just about you and him any more, it’s about what you both need. sometimes love means taking a step back, even if it hurts.”

“I thought I was doing the right thing.” you said, feeling the sting of tears threatening to spill over. “but now it just feels… empty. I thought I’d feel better, but I don’t.”

Nobara returned with yet another full drink, her eyes flickering between you and Yuji. she placed it in front of you, but you just stared at it, not ready to take another sip but not pushing it away either. “you can’t keep punishing yourself for wanting what’s best for both of you.” she said, her tone more supportive than judgmental. “I don’t see why you can’t just talk to him.”

“but what if he doesn’t want to talk to me? what if I end up just making things worse?” the anxiety twisted in your stomach, each possibility feeling heavier than the last.

Yuji suddenly placed both hands on your face, squeezing slightly to get you to turn and focus on him. “listen, you are my best friend in the world – sorry Nobara – and you deserve to be happy. I won’t sit here and listen to you agonize over whether you made the right choice. obviously, if it still bothers you, then you didn’t. I can say with certainty that Choso would want to talk to you, he’d probably cry if he got the chance for one minute to see you. so, get off your ass and talk to him.”

Nobara and Megumi’s jaws dropped, and you could only nod in shock. “I’ve never seen Yuji be so firm.” Nobara muttered to Megumi.

“I know, it’s hot.” Megumi felt the sharp jab of Nobara’s elbow in his side, causing him to chuckle.

finally, after your little pep talk from Yuji, you were stumbling back to your apartment alone, and all you wanted was to think about Choso. what was he doing right about now? was he blaring music through the speakers in his room? maybe he was playing video games or watching a movie. Yuji had said he wasn’t doing any of that, but you could only hope for the best.

you grew nauseous at the thought of him with anyone else tonight.

as you dug for your keys in your purse, you tripped over something right outside your door. fuck, had someone’s food delivery got sent to the wrong address again? “oi, what the hell?” you grumbled as you looked up from your purse, only to stop breathing.

Choso shot up from the ground, buns tousled and eyes puffy. he opened and closed his mouth, struggling to find even a simple “hello” only to give up and shut his lips tightly.

“what are you doing here?” you asked, your voice trembling as your palms grew clammy at the sight of him. your heart raced in your chest, aching for him.

“I had to… I needed to…” Choso stammered, caught off guard that you were speaking to him. he hadn’t expected to run into you; he thought he’d just swing by and maybe catch of a glimpse of you if luck was on his side. “I don’t know what to say now that you’re right here.”

you couldn’t help but chuckle, unfazed by his awkwardness. “do you want to come in?” you slid your key into the door, and Choso nodded firmly.

maybe it was the alcohol, or just the shock of seeing him after two months apart, but your resolve was slipping.

he followed you inside, mentally letting out a sigh of relief at just being able to speak with you. Choso had begged Yuji every day for even the smallest hint of your new address. to his surprise, it was Sukuna who finally let it slip.

you moved to the kitchen, trying to give Choso a moment to gather himself. “can I get you something to drink?” you asked, glancing back at him.

he shook his head, still looking a bit shell-shocked. “I just… I didn’t think I’d actually see you.”

you turned to face him full, leaning against the counter. “why did you come, then?”

Choso took a deep breath, his gaze dropping to the floor. “I can’t stop. I can’t stop thinking about you, about everything that happened between us. I can’t move on from you.

“Choso…” you whispered, your heart sinking at his words.

he stepped closer, his hand reaching out but hesitating halfway, as if unsure of how to bridge the gap between you. “I can’t move on from us.” he continued, his voice trembling slightly. “I’ll never be able to move on from you.” his hand slowly moved until it rested just above yours on the counter. “I think…” he took a breath, and the vulnerability in his eyes made your heart race. “I think I’ll love you forever.”

your resolve crumbled, scattered like leaves in the wind, as the warmth of his presence enveloped you. “I think… I’ll love you forever too.” you confessed, the words spilling out before you could hold them back.

Choso’s expression shifted, a longing flickering across his face as he fought the urge to pull you into his arms. he wanted nothing more than to kiss you, to hold onto you tightly and never let go, but he held back, willing to let you lead the way. if you wanted him to leave, he would do it, even if it meant breaking his heart all over again.

but standing so close, you felt that pull to him that was impossible to ignore. you didn’t know if you’d regret it, but your body was responding to his proximity, urging you to bridge the gap. “are you going to kiss me now?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.

Choso’s breath caught at your question, his eyes widening with surprise and a flicker of hope. “is that what you want?” he asked, searching your face for any sign of hesitation.

you nodded, a nervous excitement fluttering in your stomach. “yes.”

that seemed to break whatever restraint he had left. in an instant, he closed the gap, cupping your face gently with his hand as he leaned in. his lips brushed against yours softly at first, as if testing the waters. the kiss was tentative, filled with months of longing, but it quickly deepened, igniting a warmth that spread through you both.

you melted into him, your hands finding their way to his shoulders, pulling him closer. it felt like coming home after a long trip – a familiar warmth that wrapped around your heart.

Choso broke apart from you, breathless, as he rested his forehead against yours. his eyes searched yours, looking for something within them. “this can’t… I can’t handle it if this is just a one-night stand.” he murmured, breath warm on your face.

you shook your head against him, a small smile forming across your face. “I don’t think I can let you go again.” as you whispered the reassurance, Choso groaned out in relief before pressing his lips to yours again.

where the first kiss had been cautious, patient, his lips now moved against yours with a fervent need to feel every inch of you. Choso’s tongue dipped past your lips to tenderly caress yours as he pulled you closer into him, heaving chests flush together as your hands fisted the back of his shirt.

“angel…” he moaned lowly, his teeth nipping at your bottom lip as you panted into his mouth. you felt like you were on fire, his hands leaving trails of flame on your body while they roamed and grabbed at whatever he could get his hands on. “I missed you so much.”

“I missed you too.” you whimpered as his lips found purchase between your neck and jaw. he peppered kisses along your skin before you felt his teeth bite into you before sucking a mark. “missed you s’ much.”

the two of you became a tangle of limbs as he tugged you toward your bed, so conveniently close in your studio, until your legs hit the bed and you both tumbled backward onto the mattress. Choso landed on top of you with a thud, causing you to let out a laugh with the extra weight.

“somethin’ funny?” Choso asked with a grin as he tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear. “I missed that laugh. thought I’d never hear it again.”

looking up at him, your heart raced, urging you to speak before thinking. he was so beautiful, watching you with a love-filled gaze, that you couldn’t help but melt under him. “I love you, Choso.” the words slipped out softly from your lips but you had no regrets – you did love him, with your whole heart.

Choso’s eyes went wide, shining so bright that you were blinded by the emotion pouring out from his expression. he was shattered when you’d left. you’d taken the sunshine with you, leaving him to hole up in the darkness of his broken heart. but with those three words, you’d started to piece him back together.

his lips crashed into yours, teeth clattering together with the force of it, as his eyelids fluttered close with furrowed brows. “I….” he started between your lips “… love…” a nip at your tongue “… you.”

nothing was holding him back anymore from pulling his shirt over his head with one fluid motion, before latching his lips onto your neck and dragging out the sweet little moans he loved from your mouth as he marked you with his teeth. he’d heard them in his dreams, through his blaring music, every day he heard your voice, and now he wanted to make sure he’d hear it until he went deaf.

Choso trailed kisses down to your collarbone before pulling your shirt off and then unclasping the back of your bra. needy lips found your perked nipples, latching on roughly as he sucked one into his mouth. he made sure to leave bruising red marks on the plushest part of your tits as well – just in case the one on your neck hadn’t taken. this skin was softer, easier to brutally bite and suck, dragging the most incredible noises he’d ever heard from you. with every scratch of his teeth against your skin, you moaned out in a mix of pain-pleasure, and your pulse raced under his touch, shivers running through your bones as he continued his path down to the hem of your pants.

it felt like the first time all over again; the need and desire taking over both of you. he was relentless with his hands dragging over your body, scratching and gripping everywhere they paused. but his hands would only pause for a moment, before moving on to somewhere else, desperately aching to touch you, feel you, taste you.

“wan’ t’… need t’ taste you, angel.” he murmured against your skin as his fingers worked apart the button, then the zipper, ultimately forcing the pants down your legs and ripping them from your ankles to toss them somewhere on the floor. he had a one-track mind right now – tasting your sweet cunt on his tongue. “miss the taste of you, been goin’ through withdrawals.”

your face flushed at the filthy words babbling from his lips as he kissed your inner things, making sure to leave bite marks there too. “Choso, that’s so gross baby.” you whined in embarrassment and tried to shut your thighs, only to have them forced open by his hands pushing your knees apart. “it’s not that great, I’m sure.”

Choso looked up from where his chin was nestled between you, eyes half-lidded as if he was drunk off you already. “it is that great, it’s perfect. could do this all day if you’d let me.” and with that, he licked a stripe up your already slick folds and let out an animalistic groan at the taste. “s’ good, tastes s’ good angel. can’t get enough.”

as he began to eat you like a man starved, spit and arousal coating his mouth and chin, glistening over his face tattoo you loved so much, you fisted his dark hair in your hand at the overwhelming pleasure he was giving you. it had been so long – too long – and you were overly sensitive to every nudge of his nose against your clit as he pressed his face deep into your core.

“Cho, s’ too much.” you whimpered when he plunged a single-digit knuckle deep into your warm walls and curled it into your g-spot. your hips instinctively bucked against his mouth, and he let out a pleased hum at your reaction.

he pulled his mouth away from your clit with a plop! and smirked up at you through his lashes. “feelin’ good, angel?” he asked, but he could feel the answer on his fingers as he stuffed another one deep into you. your gushy walls were as tight as his pants were around his constrained throbbing cock, no doubt already leaking with pre-cum at the sight of you coming undone from his tongue. “wan’ you t’ cum on me, need t’ taste it before I get inside you.”

“please – hah – please wanna cum s’ bad!” your moans were pornographic at this point as the hot knot in your abdomen tightened into a coil ready to be snapped. as you practically rode his tongue to chase your release, Choso’s eyes rolled to the back of his head at the addictive taste of your cunt, deciding that if he died with his head between your legs and your cum on his tongue, it would be the perfect end to his life.

“that’s it, cum f’ me ‘kay?” Choso urged before his tongue caressed your clit in circular motions while his fingers curled against your g-spot just right. your orgasm came crashing through you, two months’ worth of pent-up need for him and only him coursing through your bones as you came on his face with wild thrashes of your hips.

he had to wrap his arm over your hips, forcing them to be still as he didn’t give up his pursuit of the most spectacular orgasm he could give you. even though your body felt like it was on fire, he was unyielding in his torment on your sensitive clit. you were still coming, screaming his name as you tried to scramble away from him in a desperate attempt to escape the overstimulation, but he kept you pinned in place with his bicep, growling into your dripping heat every time you tried to move.

“s-stop, ‘s too much!” you yelped as he continued scissoring his fingers inside of you, forcing open the tightness of your walls as he slurped your clit into his mouth and sucked repetitively. you were going to explode, maybe even die with every wave of release that just kept crashing, the warmth tingling through your body traveling down down down until you felt like a dam had burst, and you heard the squelches of your cunt squirting all over him.

Choso was ecstatic, and absolutely feral to feel your pussy juices spray onto his face and coating his tongue. you tasted heavenly, his cock twitching at the sight of you writhing at his touch – he wanted to lap up every bit of you, but even then, he knew his need wouldn’t be fulfilled.

just as you were coming down, body still twitching with overstimulation, Choso stood up and shoved his pants down to reveal his leaking dick, red and irritated from the confines of his pants, ready to feel you wrap around him. “please, need you to fuck me, Choso.” you begged as you reached for him, wanting him inside of you this instant or else you’d implode.

“don’t worry, gonna make you feel real good again, baby.” Choso pumped his cock with the same hand that was coated in your release before lining up his tip with your cunt. he kissed your lips, and you tasted yourself on his tongue. of course, he’d never wipe his face of your delicious juices. “missed this s’ much, been dreaming ‘bout it every day.”

with one deep, steady thrust, Choso bullied his dick through your wet walls and bottomed out, balls deep within you and letting out the loudest groan you’d ever heard come from his lips. you gasped at the fullness, somehow forgetting just how large he was when he was pressed against your cervix and filling you so deliciously. he took no time in rolling his hips into yours without pause, ready to feel every inch of you coating his cock.

“fuck, Choso it’s been too long.” you gasped as his tip continuously kissed your cervix, loud and wet squelches coming from your cunt with every thrust he drove into you. your hips bucked to meet him, need, desperate for him to keep going keep going keep going. without a doubt, you’d be sore and achy tomorrow, but you couldn’t give two shits as long as he was fucking you this good.

your name was a panted-out prayer on his lips as his hands cupped your face to look at you while he fucked into you, primal instinct taking over and urging him to fill you with his cum over and over. every ignored ache of his cock from the past two months had built up to this, and he wasn’t going to let it go to waste. no, he’d pull more orgasms from your pretty cunt, and fill you up over and over until you could never forget the feeling of him.

“shit – hmph – missed feeling your cunt wrapped around me. look at you, so pretty underneath me, like my own personal angel.” Choso murmured through his pants as his thrust became sloppier. to compensate for his lack of control and quickly oncoming orgasm, he slid his hand down, fingers pressing against your clit in slow, deliberate circles to get you to cum on his cock.

as the knot began to tighten in your stomach again, your eyes snapped open to look at Choso above you – black hair already sticking to his forehead, twin buns coming loose, pupils blown out from pleasure, and mouth agape as he watched you move underneath him. “I love you.” you whined, turning your head and softly kissing his hand that was against your cheek. “holy shit, I love you!”

at your confession, Choso’s pace on your clit picked up and brought you over the edge, your second release racking your body as you trembled beneath him through it. he could not only feel it, but he could hear it too. your warm walls clenched around him like a vice, lewd wet squelches echoing with every thrust of his cock, and your slutty moans of his name had him crumbling. god, you were perfect to him, so soft and pretty and you felt. so. fucking. good.

he felt like an animal, rutting into you with all of his strength to get himself off, desperate to release himself inside of you. his orgasm found him as you were halfway through yours, and he groaned out, “I love you!” before smashing his lips into yours as his hips stilled to be as deep as he could inside of you, spirts of his hot cum coating your walls as he shuddered on top of you. “I love you I love you I love you!”

he fucked you through both of your orgasms before crashing down on top of you, head buried in the crook of your neck as you both struggled to catch your breath and come down from the high. “I love you, Choso.” you whispered now, brushing his bangs from his sweaty forehead and kissing him.

“I love you, angel. forever.” Choso murmured back in response, a soft smile taking over his wet lips as he nuzzled closer to you, breathing in deeply through his nose against your skin. “never gonna stop loving you.”

“that’s okay with me.”

it was Christmas time now, fresh white snow coating the ground as you hurried down the sidewalk. you were late, oh so late, again. you could already picture Megumi’s disapproving glare, and you almost lost your footing on a particularly slick patch of ice at the thought.

when you finally burst through Yuji’s front door, panting and flushed from the cold, Megumi gave you the expected side-eye. but then Yuji bounded over, a huge grin on his face. “you made it! thank goodness. if I had to deal with mr. grinch for one more minute, I might’ve pulled my hair out. and I like my hair – everyone likes my hair!” he rambled on, tugging you in the living room and practically forcing you to sit on the couch beside Megumi.

“who’s the grinch this year? Megumi?” you asked playfully, a teasing grin spreading across your face as you glanced at the raven-haired boy. you then turned your attention to the other side of the room. “or is it Sukuna?”

Sukuna, lounging comfortably in an accent chair with a mug that you guessed was filled with heavily spiked eggnog, shook his head and let out a low chuckle. “take another wild guess.”

you raised an eyebrow, confused, until Choso rounded the corner wearing the most hideous Christmas sweater you’d ever laid eyes on. the sight nearly made you gasp. “oh my god.” you breathed, struggling to stifle your laughter.

“don’t. say. a fucking. word.” Choso grumbled, shooting a pointed glare at Yuji who was wearing a matching outrageous sweater.

“you look so cute!” you exclaimed, unable to contain yourself. you jumped off the couch and rushed over to him, planting a fat kiss on his lips. “I’ve never seen you wear so many colors!”

Choso’s face turned pink as his gaze dropped to the enormous, puffy reindeer on the front of the sweater. “you like it?” he asked quietly, a hint of shyness creeping into his voice as he rubbed the back of his neck.

“I love it.” you replied sincerely, and when he looked back up at you, a radiant smile broke across his face. “and I love the man wearing it even more.”

“of course, when his girlfriend shows up, he’s no longer a grouch.” Yuji huffed, arms crossed and feigning annoyance as he watched the exchange between his brother and you.

“you know you love it.” Megumi teased, wrapping his arms around Yuji’s shoulders and planting a soft kiss on his temple, a playful smirk on his face.

“I think I’m going to be sick.” Sukuna declared, pinching the bridge of his nose in exaggerated annoyance before taking a long gulp from his mug.

you settled back onto the couch, still riding the high of Choso’s blush, when he reached into the pile of gifts stacked beneath the tree. his eyes sparkled with excitement as he pulled out a small, wrapped box with a red bow on top.

“for you.” he said, a shy smile spreading across his face as he handed it to you. “Nobara helped me pick it out, so I can’t take all the credit. she also threatened me to make sure I told you that.”

you snorted out a laugh and took the box from him. you carefully peeled off the wrapping to see a small velvety box hidden underneath, and your breath caught in your throat as you opened it. inside lay a delicate, silver necklace featuring a mountain with two stars atop it.

“Choso, it’s beautiful!” you gasped, tears pricking your eyes as your fingers brushed over it.

he smiled and gently took the necklace from the box. “while it’s not wall climbing, I thought it would remind you of our first date… and, well, us being the two stars. since… y’know, we went climbing, even though we didn’t do it on a mountain and -”

you looked up, meeting his gaze and causing him to pause his rambles at your expression, and felt hot tears freely sliding down your cheeks at the sweetness of it all. “it’s perfect. I love it.” Choso softly smiled before leaning closer and carefully helping you clasp the necklace around your neck. the pendant settled just above where your heart raced beneath your skin.

Yuji and Megumi exchanged knowing glances, and Yuji elbowed Megumi playfully. “look at you two, all sweet and mushy… makes me sick.” Megumi teased with a tiny smirk.

“I’m sick of all of you.” Sukuna grumbled from his spot, but beneath the mug pressed to his lips, you could see his mouth curving up into a small smile.

Choso’s cheeks flushed again, but he didn’t take his eyes off you. “I just wanted to give you something special.” he said quietly, the sincerity in his voice making you melt. “I love you so much, angel.”

you sniffled slightly, reaching up to touch the necklace that you knew would never be taken off. “I love you too, Choso.” you replied before placing a soft kiss to his lips.

in that moment, everything felt perfect. you were in love, surrounded by some of the people that you cared about the most on the holidays. and for now, you knew that everything would be okay – more than okay.

Sukuna’s POV

months later

he’d never say it to anyone else, but Sukuna’s therapist knows damn well to take the secret to their grave. sure, he’d been in love with you, or some semblance of love at least. so forgive him for being a tad heartbroken that he wasn’t the one chosen after everything.

his therapist had told him not to ruminate over it, that he had sought forgiveness and worked towards being a better person. but had he truly? he’d spent the better part of the cold season getting over it, and while he ultimately had, he was still nagged by the dread of never finding someone to look at him that way again.

he was happy that everyone else was happy. he’d royally fucked up, he knew that, and he deserved to not be the one chosen in the end. all he could do now was move forward and continue trying.

try try try.

it was the mantra he’d carried into the new year, seared in his brain every second of every day. it’s all he ever did nowadays.

well, that and drink himself into a drunken stupor whenever he got the chance. and tonight was no exception – having ditched Yuji’s little party at the house to escape the suffocating romance between everyone but him, he found himself at a quiet bar two pints in, desperately hoping for a mild buzz at least.

he felt like a pitiful fool, drinking away his feelings. this wasn’t like him, or it used to not be. he wasn’t so sure anymore. he still felt the same – angry at the world, annoyed by those lesser than him, but in a way, he was more mature. mindful of the people around him and how he affected their lives. he guessed that was what growth did to a person.

but he couldn’t let his old attitude consume him. he’d try and try and try to be better for everyone else around him.

that was until he met her.

“oi, get your fucking hands off me!” he’d heard a voice shout from just outside the bar. it sounded distressed yet confident at the same time. he wasn’t sure what was going on until he heard two other deep voices, chuckling and hurling derogatory insults in the air as if it didn’t matter.

today, it would matter to him.

Sukuna abruptly stood from his stool, causing it to fall to the ground with a loud crash as he stormed out the door of the bar. underneath the streetlights, he saw her – small and fragile, surrounded by two drunken men reaching their hands out for her. and yet, despite her predicament, Sukuna couldn’t help but smirk at her, rearing back a fist, ready to knock someone out.

she hadn’t even heard the crash from the bar, focused solely on the annoying assholes bothering her. all she'd been doing was walking home, alone, like an idiot of course. but a little recklessness never stopped her. she doubted her punch would do much damage, but it was worth a shot anyway.

“I said leave me the hell alone, twatbags!” she shouted, fist shaking but staying firm in a pulled-back position. if they made one more move, she'd muster up the courage and hit one of them. she hated guys like these, her office was filled with them and now she couldn’t even get a reprieve walking down the street.

suddenly, both men went wide-eyed in front of her. hah, so her scare tactics worked, she thought. she'd have to pat yourself on the back later for this achievement. “aw, little ole me got you boys scared? looks like you’re about to wet your pants.” she smirked, crossing her arms in triumph.

until their eyes traveled from hers, to over her head.

“these guys bothering you?”

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ .. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ .. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ .. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ .. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ .

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . taglist: @nighttwingg @sweetsformysoul @casualpoetrytaco @lvingd3adg0rl @haikomaiko @csolya @deathlypink @sad-darksoul @elisedylandy @jinxiewritings @aldebrana @ravester @futuristiccurlyhair @san-it-is-i-guess @marie-is-in-the-dark @llovergirlll @iseeyouuu @makingtimemine @spicykimchii @shxhari @ratcoone @mollyrocks420 @willybillyletsgetsilly @distinguishedpenguinbread @ren-ni @sugar504 @runfrme @sukuna-for-life @theclassbookworm @avidreadee123 @tibibibi123 bro. just... BRO. we're at the end ｡°(°.◜ᯅ◝°)°｡ i can't believe it!!!! I really really hope I did the end of the story justice, and that everyone is happy with the ending! if not, at least I'm happy about it. THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO'S FOLLOWED, LIKED, REBLOGGED, AND COMMENTED through this whole short story!!!!! and to everyone who's requested to be tagged you have my WHOLE heart. ugh, I'm getting emotional again... but it doesn't make me too sad considering... Sukuna spin off coming soon! (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧ obviously her will turn into you in the next writing, was that obvious enough? no? damn. anyways, hope to see you all later! ദ്ദി(｡•̀ ,<)~✩‧₊ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ .

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writing-in-the-impala · 1 year ago

Text

Secret Smokes (Part 9)

Pairing: Teacher! Remus Lupin x Reader

Series Summary: When the reader bumps into the new DADA professor on the bridge in Hogwarts she begins to build a friendship with him all thanks to their shared feeling of not belonging and love for muggle cigarettes. Their friendship blooms while they both fight internal battles deciding what is wrong and what is right leading to a lot of fluff, angst, flirting and a rollercoaster of emotions.

Warnings: Swearing, smoking, drinking, teacher-student relationship, angst, jealousy, fluff, smut.

Word Count: 5776

A/N: At the end! No spoilers here, but it's a long one so get cosy.

| SERIES MASTER LIST (All chapters) |

Previous Chapter, Part 9, Next Chapter

Christmas morning began like every year except for the owl. When you made it downstairs there was an owl under the tree from Remus, you picked up the letter and thanked the owl giving it a treat before sending it home. You hadn't heard from Remus since you got home, however you couldn't be upset as you didn't attempt to write to him either. Even though you missed him a lot and you couldn't stop thinking about him life had become quite busy with work, family and your hometown friends. This was the first time you came home and didn't want to flirt with any one or meet anyone as the only person who got your heart to race was Remus. Since you first opened his present you kept re-reading what he wrote, as if you were trying to decipher it. Maybe it was him calling you "dear" and ending it with "yours" that made your heart race, maybe it was simply just the only way to feel close to him. "What's that letter honey?" Your mum asked walking out the kitchen to see you standing holding Remus's most recent letter.

"It's from my friend, I think it's just to thank for the Christmas present I got him."

"Him?" Your mother asked. "I knew those were for a boy she liked!" Your dad chimed in from the sofa. "So who's he?" Your mum asked.

That's when the doubts hit you, you shouldn't get excited by Remus sending you a letter, he's the kind of man you can't tell your parents about. How would you explain to your parents that you got involved with your defence against the dark arts professor and that he's also a werewolf. "Just a friend who's helped me a lot this year. Anybody want coffee?" You asked tucking Remus's letter into your jeans pocket and changing the subject.

When you had a moment after the busy morning you went upstairs to finally open Remus's letter that had occupied your mind all morning. You slowly opened it while sipping on a cup of tea that wasn't as tasty as the ones made by Remus in his office.

"My dearest Y/N,

Merry Christmas. Would it be inappropriate to say smoking or listening to music alone isn't the same? Thank you so much for your present, I've been listening to the vinyl from you on repeat I can't wait to listen to it with you. I hope work is good and your family is well too. Hogwarts is beautiful in the snow I'm glad I stayed but I'll be heading home to York soon - today - so if you would like to reach me please write to:

The Luna Cottage Yorkshire YO22 5AN

No pressure to write however if you do I just don't want you to feel like I'm ignoring your letters.

Yours, as always, Remus"

You wished the letter was longer, that he would tell you more about what he's been doing why he didn't write. You wanted to have a conversation about his day, you decided it was only right to reply to him straight away.

"Moony, Merry Christmas!

I am starting to realise my record collection is boring compared to yours. I'm glad you enjoyed the present, thank you so much for passing on your fathers book, I'm happy to return it to you as soon as I read it as it sounds quite sentimental.

I adore the cigarette tin, I would be lying if I said it hasn't already been useful. The camel and bridge are beautiful however I miss the real bridge.

I'm glad to hear you're enjoying Christmas, don't run to your cottage too quickly enjoy your time in Hogwarts although I do realise how stupid it is to write that as I'm sending it to your cottage.

My family is well and so am I thank you for asking, I do miss the snow in Hogwarts I look forward to coming back after new years.

Speak soon, Y/n"

You sent the letter almost as soon as you wrote it eager to continue this conversation with Remus. You could wait to read his next letter. However it did not arrive for days. Maybe he stayed in Hogwarts you thought, maybe he hasn't had time to send you one, maybe he's too busy...

You waited each day for a letter to arrive but nothing came, New Year's Eve was around the corner and you thought wether to wish him happy new year like you wished him Merry Christmas however you decided against it. The Weasleys had invited you to a New Year's party and you considered not going however you decided maybe it would be good to spent an evening with your school friends as opposed to the home town friends that you saw all Christmas break. The party wasn't at their house but rather a house in London however they assured you pre-drinks will be spent together. You met at their house where you would be spending the night after the party, it was nice to see their parents who always made you feel at home. They asked you many questions about your Christmas break and Molly even gave you a new hand knitted scarf as a gift. You hadn't arrived at their house empty handed either as you had a whole tray of home made cookies from your mum which the Weasley boys devoured. "So what's this party we're going to?" You asked the twins.

"It's one of the order parties but it should be fun." Fred began.

"And if we hate it, it's in central London so we can jump ship." George added.

"And we'll still see the muggle fireworks from there." Fred finished their joint sentence.

"But isn't everyone in the order like 50 now, I want a new years kiss." You complained

"I'm here." George quickly interrupted.

"I'm the hotter twin and I'm here too." Fred took over.

"See you have two options!"George said with a laugh.

"Three we all know dear Percy would kill for a kiss from you." Fred almost whispered so no one else in the family would hear.

"I don't want to kiss him, or you, or you." You said laughing and pushing them away in a friendly way.

"No you want to kiss your teacher." They both said simultaneously making your face go red.

"Shut up. I prefer people my age."

"Don't lie to us the only person our age you want to snog is Sebastian and he's mostly a rebound for your profesor."

"What did you get him for Christmas?"

"It doesn't matter besides he hasn't spoken to me since Christmas."

"But he wrote to you."

"Just to thank me."

"He still thought of you."

"We've gone off topic so who's gonna be at this party or did I waste my new years by agreeing to this?" You bought the conversation back.

"We promise there will be people you'll want to kiss there, you'll have fun."

"We're sure of it."

"Only thing...."

"'Mum is coming."

"WHAT? This is going to be so lame, a party with your parents?"

"Don't worry, we'll still have fun." He said handing you a shot to drink and all three of you necked it down. You got changed and ready to go out, suddenly you were all looking a lot more like you were going to party, the boys wolf whistled you when you joined them in the living room. By this point nearly the whole family was downstairs including Hermione who was also invited as Harry and Ron were going. When you walked into the room Percy's face seemed to go red, you felt bad as you knew his feelings for you but you just simply didn't feel the same about him. You relaxed in the living room for a bit before all of you traveled to the house the party was taking place at.

It was 12 Grimmauld Place. The home of the Blacks. Sirius Black was the only one left living there however he used the house to throw very extravagant parties, that's what Percy told you anyway. When you arrived it was quite littered with people already, and there was a mix of people older and younger, you spent time with the twins at first as you were a bit shy to start talking to so many strangers. As soon as the alcohol started to get to your head you became a lot more social with everyone around, one of your most interesting conversations was with the host Sirius Black who you clicked with immediately, you ended up in quite a discussion about the London firework display and he promised you could go up to the roof for the fireworks at midnight. You were quite enjoying yourself when you noticed Sirius hugging a man who was apologising for arriving late, he was taking his jacket off when you caught a glimpse of him. Remus J Lupin. He was wearing corduroy trousers, a nice clean fresh Oxford shirt that was a pale blue with a dark vest over it and a long black trench coat. You felt the temperature of the room go up and you needed a distraction so you jumped into a conversation with the twins. "Our teacher is here." You stated to them.

"Your teacher more like." Fred stated with a grin on his face as him and George shared a look.

"You knew." You pointed a finger at them both.

"He's in the order." George explained.

"Close friends with Black. And our parents." Fred finished.

"We didn't know for sure if he would come." They both said in response to your upset face.

"He hasn't replied to my letter." You said quietly.

"Well now you can talk in person." Fred said. You could see Remus but he wasn't looking at you, he was happy, he looked a bit tired but not more than usual, he seemed in his element hugging people hello and chatting with them. After about twenty minutes you both noticed each other he gave you a slight wave from across the room and you waved back while speaking to Hermione. The next hour and a half you spent stealing glances at each other from across the room but not talking even when you stood right next to each other, it felt like an unspoken rule. It was hurting you to watch him talk to an attractive girl from the order and laugh with her, a whole body laugh. You felt jealous, and upset that he didn't even acknowledge you past a small wave.

It was only when you were outside having a smoke with Fred that you finally spoke to Lupin. He was the one who started the conversation, you heard him say "No, no, no. I can't believe that you haven't heard of The Stooges, hold on, Y/N have you heard of the Stooges" he interrupted your conversation but you didn't mind.

"Of course, arguably they were the first punk rock band." You said with a small smile, eyeing the girl he was taking to in a judgmental way.

"Thank you!" Remus said to everyone before turning around to face you. "Hello by the way." He has a gently smile.

"Hi professor, I saw you earlier but didn't want to interrupt." You said hugging him hello, he already smelt like he's drank quite a bit as did you.

"You should've." He said gently in a hush tone, eyes quickly flicking down to your lips then back to your eyes, his breath really smelt like fire whiskey.

"You look nice." You replied.

"I was going to say the same about you." The small smile growing on his lips as his eyes scanned your body.

"Who are you so dressed up for?" You pried hoping the answer doesn't hurt you.

"Sirius." He said in a stern tone and continued once he saw the puzzled look on your face. "He said he was going to hex me if I showed up in the same clothes I wear every day. I don't know if you've met him yet but I believe he genuinely would have."

"I have and I agree, I think you're a wise man." You said with a laugh.

"How was Christmas?" He asked changing the topic.

"You know same, same. Spent most of the time working. What about yours?" You said putting your hands in your pockets awkwardly. When you spoke to him it's like the whole world blurred, like no one else was around you even through your were standing outside the house on a street in central London.

"Christ Y/N, I'm sorry I didn't write back." He simply answered.

"It's okay, I'm sure you were busy." You said hiding your disappointment.

"No, no I wasn't." He said with his own frown on his face. "After Christmas there was a full moon and I was knackered, once I regained energy I had so much to do and I didn't dedicate time to writing back, when I could've, I should've and I'm so sorry." He was leaning on the wall for support as if his guilt was weighing him down.

"How's the cottage?"

"It's cosy, I've been fixing things in it, Hogwarts has meant it stands empty with no one looking after it, so things have broken in my absence." He explained.

"I wish you had time to write while you were there, I had so many questions." You said instead of saying you missed him.

"Have you seen Sebastian Sallow over half term?"

"What?" You shot back in confusion.

"Just wandering as you two are close."

"Not that close." You felt weird about his question, his facial expression was hard to read.

"Fair enough." He replied after a moment of awkward silence.

"Why do you ask?" You pushed.

"Because I thought you two were slowly growing into a relationship, you know I just want the best for you." He didn't make eye contact with you.

"What's the best for me?" You questioned.

"It's not me." He said with an intense stare into your eyes.

"So you don't want me to be with you?" You asked swallowing hard from the anxiety.

"Correct." He answered his body inching closer to you.

"But do you want to be with me?" He looked down at his empty glass after you asked him this.

"What was work like?" He asked changing the topic.

"Answer my question." You pushed.

"Answer mine."

"I asked first."

"Y/N... let's change the subject before one of us gets hurt, let's not ruin new years." He said sounding defeated as he finished the sentence you heard the front door open and saw Sirius there with two drinks in his hand.

"Remus! There you are, I made you a drink." He said in a jolly voice. "Y/N, do you want one too?" He said while handing a drink to Remus.

"It's fine I can go get it myself." You said finishing this the perfect opportunity to leave this conversation with Remus.

"Beautiful, let me show you the main reason why being a magic is the greatest thing ever." Sirius said clicking his fingers and your glass refilled itself. Remus just laughed as if this was an old trick.

"How?" You asked in shock.

"Dear old Sirius has enchanted all the glass to be self re-filling because he's too lazy to stand up and pour himself a drink."

"I didn't know this was possible." You expressed.

"It's a dangerous trick." Remus explained.

"As if you don't love it Moony." Sirius said and you have a puzzled look to the nickname but didn't ask more questions. "Now it looks like you two were having a meaningful chat I don't mean to interrupt."

"You're not, I was just about to head inside." You said.

"Sure you were." Sirius said with a wink. "Enjoy the drink moony, let me know how it tastes later!" Sirius said with a wink at Remus and head tilting to you before he left, luckily for Remus you didn't see this. A moment of silence fell upon both of you again before Remus cleared his throat. "You know all the glasses in my office have this enchantment." He said sitting down on the front door steps.

"Liar, why do you always stand up and make cups of tea if they can refill themselves?"

"I find there's something romantic about doing things the proper way, taking a moment to brew a tea and pour it. It feels like it's the right way to do it. When I'm alone I don't bother to do all the mundane but I like to do it with you." He took last sip of the cocktail he managed to already finish and you watched it magically refill itself.

"So I'm guessing you and Sirius are close?" You asked.

"How'd you guess?"

"He called you moony."

"He's my best friend from school, there's not many of us left after the war." Remus began.

"What do you mean us?"

"My friends from school and I used to call ourselves the Marauders."

"That's so lame." You laughed and he had a nostalgic smile on his face.

"I know. But we were proud of it, we were unstoppable, a force to be reckoned with. We used to preform some pranks that created new rules in Hogwarts."

"Not that pillar of morality I thought you were Professor." You winked at him and he laughed.

"Maybe not." His eyes were glued to your lips.

"So what happened?" You asked and his eyes went down to the floor, he cleared his throat and took a sip of his drink.

"We all grew up but not all of us got to grow old. You see straight after school James and Lilly got married, it was a beautiful day. Not long after Harry was born, we felt like we were on top of the world when we were leaving Hogwarts. But the wizarding war kept getting worse, I struggled for work with my condition so I focused mainly on the order, James and Sirius helped me a lot especially with money, I wouldn't have a home without them. We spent most of our days as part of the Order of the Phoenix, and we were proud, we felt like our little group was part of something special. Then the day when Peter betrayed James and Lilly came, and well you know how the story of that day goes." He said his voice breaking a bit a small tear forming in his eye. "After that day the world rejoiced, war was over, he was gone, but he took James and Lilly with them. Peter, the snitch, sold them out. It was just Sirius and I left." You placed you hand on his knee to comfort him.

"I'm sorry-"

"It's okay. I was hurt that day and I was stupid, I distanced myself from Sirius, and from everyone. I saw the world as cruel, I really treated myself like a victim, felt sorry for myself. Sirius, he saved me. Every full moon he would come to the cottage and make sure I was okay, it was only after a year that I found out when he fell asleep and when I was back to my human form he was still around. He explained he'd come in secret every month just to check in on me. He made me realise the world wasn't so cruel after all." Remus glanced back at the house behind him.

You got a glimpse at a new part of Remus, the Remus who lost friends, the Remus who used to be a boy surrounded by everyone he loved, and you understood why now being in Hogwarts he was so much more lonely than ever before. "It's funny when I met you it felt like meeting the marauders for the first time. If only you were around when I was your age, I think I would've- doesn't matter. I'm sorry for dropping my sob story on you like that." Remus said with a heavy breath.

"Moony I love to hear about your past, Sirius sounds very special... I'm glad you have him."

"I love that boy." He said honestly. "He's my brother for life." He said looking back at the house once again. A calm quiet fell upon you both before you took your cigarette tin out of your pocket, you offered one to Remus and he took it "nice tin." He said with a wink. "Where'd you get it?" He asked while you tried to light your cigarette with your lighter, he lit his with magic obviously.

"This guy got me it, I really thought he liked me because it's so special but I realise now he's just kindhearted and cares about people. It's still one of my favourite gifts though."

"What says those are mutually exclusive?" He questioned while you struggled to light your cigarette as your lighter didn't want to work.

"Can you light it for me?" You asked him gently turning around to him.

"Sure, come here." He motioned for you to get closer to him. And you shifted towards him. "Closer." He instructed. You were confused but listened, you were now inches away from him, his cigarette was in his mouth and yours was in your hand. "Put it in your mouth." He said through the cigarette. "Now come here I'll light it for you." He said quietly. So you leaned in and he lit the cigarette with the one in his mouth, your body felt like it was burning, you could smell the alcohol, you could smell him. Chocolate, cigarettes and an undertone of firewood. He placed a hand on your face to stabilise you and you felt that your cigarette was lit. You pulled away from each other and you took a drag with a shaky breath after the moment you just shared.

You felt his hand grab your chin again and turn your face back to his, his cigarette wasn't in his mouth this time, he began to lean in. "Tell me if you want me to stop." He whispered and your heart raced as you leaned into him and your lips crashed. The kiss was full of lust and longing. He had completely dropped his cigarette as both his hands were now on your face, you dropped yours and raised your hands to touch him. You felt him swoop your whole body to the side and you were suddenly straddling him on the stairs of the house. You felt him, you felt how much he wanted you, you began to slowly grind on him to tease him. His hands began to go up and down your back as you continued to make out, your hands went through his hair, something you wanted to do for a very long time. And then you heard it, the fireworks.

Remus pulled away first, shaken back into reality, you both looked into each others eyes for a few seconds. Silence. The look of complete fear and lust in both your eyes as reality crashed back in. "Happy new year dear." He said quietly.

"Happy new year Moony." Your replied and he gently kissed you on the lips with love rather than lust this time. He slowly moved you off him and stood up, reaching out a hand towards you to help you stand up. "Let's head up to the roof, the view of the fireworks is beautiful up there." He said and you gave him a sad look.

"I'm happy to miss it." You almost whispered.

"We can't. Come on." He said reaching his hand out for you to hold and you followed him holding his hand while walking up the stairs and questioning which part he was referring to with "we can't". You headed back inside and as you passed the mirrors on the stairs Remus fixed his hair, he let go of your hand and you walked side by side upstairs entering the roof quietly. Once upstairs he squeezed your shoulder and walked away from you, he started making the rounds while telling people happy new year starting from some members of the order, moving onto the Weasleys and so on. You just stood there watching him. "Happy new year Y/N. We were looking for you." Fred said. "Are you okay?" He said looking at your confused expression.

"I just kissed our teacher." You said quietly. And Fred laughed and George groaned. "Pay up." Fred said to George and they exchanged money.

"You guys bet on this? You bought me here and you bet on it?" You asked slightly annoyed but also amused.

"Only when I left you outside with him." Fred said defensively. "How do you feel?" George asked. "Relived?" Fred added.

"Horny and confused."

"Poor Percy was looking for you, wanted you to be his new years kiss, he won't be happy to find out." George added.

"No one can know." You said sternly.

"Y/N, your secret is safe with us." George said.

"However we will make fun of you for this." Fred stated.

"Constantly." George added.

"Looks Y/N is not paying attention to us." Fred pointed out as you were starring at Remus and Sirius whispering to each other and Sirius glancing over at you.

"We've lost her, next thing you know she'll be married, she won't speak to us. No time for us." Fred joked. As you continued to watch Remus, who now glanced at you, said bye to Sirius and began to walk over in your direction.

"He's coming over what should I do?" You asked in panic.

"You were the one snogging him, not us." They both said.

"Shut up." You replied and Remus was now close enough to hear. The boys turned around and smiled at him with big grins. "Happy new year professor." The both said.

"Happy new year." He replied gently. "Happy new year Y/N." He said to you pretending as if nothing happened.

"Wait so you didn't even say happy new year to each other?" Fred asked and both you and George slapped him to shut him up.

"I should've known. Sirius also knows." He said he's gesturing behind him to a smiling Sirius who waved at you as soon as you looked over at him.

"Obviously." You said with a gentle smile.

"Do you boys mind if I have a word with Y/N?" Remus asked politely.

"Just don't-" Fred began.

"Fred." You and George said in unison. "Alright nice to see you prof!" Fred said laughing and walking away.

Remus lead you off the roof and down the stairs towards one of the rooms. You didn't ask any questions. He pulled you into a room and you straight away began to make out. You explored each others lips before between kissed Remus began to speak "Let's get one thing straight, this can't happen." He then kissed you again and you tried to push out a "yes" between the kisses. "And no one can find out about this." You nodded and he leaned back in to continue. "And if anyone knew you could get expelled and I could lose my job."

"Yes professor."

"Don't. I go crazy when you call me that." He said biting your lip as he kissed you this time and moving his hands around your whole body. "Now tell me if you want me to leave this room and pretend nothing happened, tell me now and I'll leave and we'll go back to just being professional." He said looking deep into your eyes and you shook your head and leaned in to kiss him. "Good." He whispered before kissing you back, after a moment you moved your hands to his belt and began to unbuckle it. "Not so quickly my dear." He whispered in your ear. "What we're going to do is leave this room, you're going to be a good girl and mingle with your friends, while I make the rounds talking to mine. Then when it's late and everyone is saying goodbye you meet me. That way we don't raise any suspicion about both being gone all night." He explained and you nodded. "Good." He said and he kissed your lips gently before leaving the room. You stood in the dark room alone trying to process everything. After a moment you left the room and continued upstairs, on the stairs you a ran into Percy. "Y/N!" He said cheerfully. "Where have you been all evening?" He asked.

"Oh I've been floating around." You replied trying to keep it vague.

"I was searching for you." He stated.

"It's a big house." You simply replied.

"Why did you leave with professor Lupin after new years?"

"Why are you watching my every move?" You felt like your privacy was invaded.

"We're friends Y/N, I feel like this year you've been running around befriending Slytherins and doing tutoring every day we've barely seen each other." He complained.

"You're exaggerating, besides you're the one who always pushed for me to study more, now I am and you're complaining." You were getting annoyed.

"Are you and the Slytherin boy dating? Is that why you've been avoiding me?" He asked a bit too aggressively.

"Percy. Your jealousy is showing, please go home, go the bed, we'll talk tomorrow." You walked past him towards the roof, he tried to continue the conversation but you didn't turn around to reply.

Upstairs you saw Remus chatting to small group of people, he looked so handsome. You started getting involved in your own conversations however you couldn't resist to look over at Remus constantly, and he kept looking over at you. Each time he would smile, sometimes he'd lightly wink. When Molly and Arthur Weasley were leaving you and the twins said you'll come home later in the evening and they trusted you and left you behind. Finally there was very few people left behind and Remus approached you and the twins as you relaxed in the living room. "Sorry to interrupt." He began not taking his eyes off you as he scanned your body, licking his lips.

"Please do." Fred said with a grin.

"Excuse us profesor." George said pulling Fred away.

"Has anyone given you a tour of the house dear?" Remus asked you with his hands on his pockets while looking down towards you. You shook your head and he simply reached a hand out to you to help you up. He began giving you a tour from the bottom of the house towards upstairs, there were still people in the house but very few as it was nearing 4am and most people had traveled home by now. He led you all the way up before he stopped at a room. "And here is my room." He said.

"Your room?" You questioned.

"Well technically the guest room but since it's just Sirius who lives here this room has become my room, I stay here whenever I'm in London." It was mostly a simply decorated room but the small pile of books on the side table made it obvious that Remus stayed here often.

"What have you been reading?" You said picking up the top book as Remus came up behind you putting his arms around you and kissing your neck.

"Does it matter right now?" He whispered in your ear pulling you against him.

"I don't think so." You said as he turned you around to look at him.

"You drive me crazy girl." He leaned in to kiss you. "Do you want to know how crazy?" He asked and you nodded. That's when he grabbed your hand and put it against his crotch, you could feel how huge his cock was in that very moment. "Holy shit." You whispered as a genuine reaction not thinking about what's leaving your lips. Remus smiled and chuckled slightly. "Don't worry, I'll go slow." He whispered and you almost melted into his kiss. After a moment of kissing he gently pushed you against the wall where he pulled your top off and your trousers. He began kissing you from your neck down your body getting on his knees in front of you as he kissed your legs and bit your thong. "I have thought about this moment from the first time I met you. You're more beautiful than I imagined." He said before standing up and kissing you on the lips again and you ran your hands through his hair. He picked you up and lay you down on his bed as he climbed up above you leaning down and kissing you. You reached up to unbutton his shirt and he stopped your hands for a moment.

"I just want to warn you, I have scares." He said, his voice had a twang of anxiety behind it.

"I don't care." You breathed out.

"You don't understand they're bad, I can keep my shirt on."

"Remus don't be ridiculous." You said unbuttoning his shirt to reveal his chest, his scars were deep, layering on top of each other some older than others. You began to trace them with your finger as Remus watched your expression, you then leaned in to kiss his scars. He put a hand under your chin and went back to kiss you as he unbuckled his trousers slipping them off while keeping his lips on yours. He once again moved down to your underwear taking them off with his mouth as he kissed you all the way back up to your lips. "I'm going to go slow but if anything hurts tell me okay?" He confirmed and you nodded. "Dear I need you to use your words for me."

"Yes Professor." You said and it felt like his eyes darkened a little as he slowly slid into you. You could feel how large he was as began to slowly move in and out. As soon as he saw you feel comfortable he began to up the pass, kissing your neck and starting to suck and lick it as you moaned under him. "You're so beautiful." He whispered in your ear as he kissed you.

"Remus you feel amazing." You said as he picked up the pace and moaned in your ear. He held your hands above your head with one hand and kept himself up above you with the other. The kissing turned into bites with kisses as your hearts raced. "Remus I'm close." You moaned out as he was bitting your nipples and still holding your hands above your head. "I want to feel you cum for me." He said as he kissed your lips again and you moaned out in bliss. You felt him fill you right after. As soon as he pulled out he leaned in to kiss you and you kissed him back. "Happy new year." He whispered as he lay down next to you pulling you in your hug him, you skin touching his skin. "Happy new year Remus." You whispered back tracing his scars with your finger and closing your eyes as he lightly kissed the top of your head.

A/N: AHHHHHH finally! Now I can tell you this chapter was the idea that sparked everything, it was the idea of them sitting on those bloody steps and him lighting her cigarette with his own that made me want to write all this. Don't worry it's not over yet, we're only just beginning the story I hope you carry on reading a lot as there's loads more to come as they navigate this situation. Hope you like it!

NEXT CHAPTER | More stuff I wrote

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aliceintheworld · 3 months ago

Text

PURE ATTRACTION | JJK | TATTOO ARTIST

Pairing: TattooArtistJungkook X NaiveReader

Summary: "I shouldn't be watching a man undressing, especially not from the house next door."

Warning: more religion 😬 depression, Jimin, Taehyung, and Yoongi appear. Jungkook in a towel 💦👅 finally a kiss (things from here happen quickly.) ATTENTION, THIS STORY IS NOT SLOWBURN.

A/N: Guys, I took a while this time for reasons of: laziness and discouragement. I wanted more people to read what I write, but I'm introverted even on the Internet, which leaves me with few alternatives to show my writing to the world. Thinking about it, I'm in trouble. Other than that, only a few days have passed, so everything is fine. Back to the story, everything starts to pick up pace. Just to repeat, the fanfic is not slowburn, so there will be smut in the next chapter. Stay tuned.

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Chapter 3

I spend the whole week riding an emotional rollercoaster. I find myself visiting my neighbor, Mrs. Jeon, more frequently than usual, and with each visit, our friendship blossoms deeper. She shares stories of her youth, of wild adventures and carefree days when she was my age. Her openness encourages me to share my own experiences–or rather, my lack of them. I recount my first disastrous kiss, confess that I've never been in love, and reveal how my once unshakeable faith in the church has wavered since my father's passing. I feel a weight lift off my shoulders; here, I am free to be imperfect, to be vulnerable, without fear of judgment.

Yet, there's one thing I keep to myself: the incident with her son, Jungkook, and the profound effect he has on me. Throughout all my visits, I never see him again. Curiosity gets the better of me, and I casually ask Mrs. Jeon where he is. She tells me that he moved and rented an apartment to avoid being a burden. He only spent the first night at home after his trip, and I remember that night well–from my window, of course–but I don't mention it. Disappointment settles in me like a stone; I long to see him again, but I focus on his mother instead. Having her to confide in is a relief, a breath of fresh air in my otherwise stifling life.

I patiently wait for her to open up about her own struggles, her depression, but she never does. I worry that I might know something I shouldn't, that perhaps she's not comfortable sharing with me. But I promise myself I'll keep her secret safe, no matter what. Today is Sunday, and I won't visit Mrs. Jeon since I'll see her at church. I'm excited–despite my mother making unnecessary comments and disturbing my peace of mind, I'll have someone to rely on.

I smooth down my dark brown dress, fixing my messy hair. I dab a bit of lipstick on my fingertips and press it onto my lips, careful not to overdo it. The truth is, I enjoy makeup, but I've never learned how to apply it properly. I feel embarrassed drawing attention to myself with bolder colors; after all, people are used to my lack of vanity. I sigh, steeling myself as I head downstairs to meet my mother.

She hasn't stopped talking about Jungkook. Unlike me, who had a good first impression, she despises him. She criticizes everything: his eyebrow piercing, his bold style, his tattoos, even the way he carries himself. I can't help but wonder if she accepted the dinner invitation just to analyze him, searching for flaws that exist only in her mind. She's been friends with Misuk since moving to town, and I want to believe–perhaps naively–that my mother doesn't have ulterior motives.

We arrive at church early, the space quiet with only a few members milling about. My mother drifts away to chat with the older congregation, and I find a seat, taking a deep breath. I scan the room for Mrs. Jeon but I don't see her. Since it's still early, I'm not too worried. I take a moment to read the Bible, reflecting on positive thoughts when I feel a gentle touch on my shoulder. I turn, and there he is–Jungkook, smiling brightly. I frown, almost convinced he's a mirage. Am I daydreaming?

"Hi Y/N, are you okay?" he asks softly, his lips brushing almost against my ear. His intense gaze locks with mine, and I'm relieved to be sitting down; my legs feel weak in his presence.

"Everything's fine," I reply, my eyes dropping to my fingers. I want to engage him, ask about his week, inquire how he's been, but the words stick in my throat. It's as though I can't act normally around him. I take a deep breath, mustering the courage to comment, "I didn't know you attended church."

"I don't," he laughs, amusement dancing in his eyes. And rightly so; considering his clothes–a heavy leather jacket, shaved sides, and a wavy fringe–it's sexy but definitely not what you'd expect at church. "I haven't been since I was a kid."

"Really? Why?" I ask, genuinely curious, my gaze drawn to his eyebrow piercing, oddly captivating.

"I didn't feel welcome," he replies simply. There's no bitterness in his voice, and I understand all too well what he means. My mother, for example, was the first to judge him based on his appearance, and I can only imagine how difficult it is to feel at home in a place where you're not embraced.

"I understand," I say, unsure of what else to add. "So, you came here to give it another shot?"

"No way," he chuckles. "Actually, my mom mentioned you two planned to meet at church today."

"That's true," I confirm.

"Unfortunately, she can't make it today. She's not feeling well."

"Is she okay?" My concern surfaces immediately.

"She's fine, don't worry. Just a headache, and she took some medicine. She'll be better soon," he assures me, his hand lightly touching my shoulder. I can't help but notice how warm and gentle his touch is. I shake my head, trying to divert my thoughts from Jungkook's hands to anything else.

"I'm relieved to hear that," I smile, noticing the church is starting to fill up.

"I'm actually inviting some friends over to my apartment, and I wanted to know if you'd like to join us," he says, brushing his fingertips against his ear, a bit shy. I'm taken aback; I didn't expect this invitation. He wants me to come over with his friends?

"And why?" I ask, surprised. It's been a while since we last saw each other, and we haven't talked much even then.

"I like you. I want you to come so we can have fun."

"If this is some kind of payment, or something like that... you really don't need to." I reply, not believing it. I don't have friends, and the thought that he wants to be with me and the people he likes seems absurd to me.

"It's not that. I'm even a bit offended." He jokes, smiling. "I really want you to come, please."

"Jungkook... I don't know."

"I swear they're nice. Every time I'm in Busan, we hang out. They're trustworthy, I promise."

"I can imagine," I reply, still hesitant. I'd have to leave church, skip the service, and ask my mother for permission to go out with him, and of course, she wouldn't allow it. No way. It's not that I don't want to; I desperately want to spend time with him. That's been on my mind all week. "I don't think it's possible; my mom..."

"I know," he interjects, as if he anticipated my response. "But what if, just this once, you say you are going to my mom's? We could say I'm taking you there when in fact, you're coming to my apartment."

"Are you asking me to lie to my mother in a church?" I can't help but laugh at the absurdity of it. He shrugs, grinning.

"God knows it's just once," he replies confidently, pouting slightly. "What do you say? Later, I can take you to my mom's whenever you want, or you can stay at my apartment since I have more than one room. You set the time and conditions."

"Jungkook..." I groan, covering my face with my hands. The thought of lying to my mother, especially to go to a guy's house, sends a wave of anxiety through me. If she finds out, I'll be in big trouble.

"Come on! It'll be fun. I promise," he pleads softly. I can't say no to him, at least not now. I nod, agreeing to the madness.

"Okay, but you're the one who's going to talk to my mom. And if I say I want to leave, you agree. No alcohol because I know you drive. Those are my conditions," I assert, trying to sound firm. He smiles and salutes me, like a soldier receiving orders, and I slowly get up, taking small steps toward my mother. I let Jungkook lead the way, my nerves creeping back as I prepare to tell a lie in this sacred place.

"Good afternoon, Mrs. Eunji. Good afternoon, everyone," he greets my mom and the other church members. My mother looks utterly shocked, her eyes nearly popping out of her head as she takes in his appearance.

"Good afternoon, Jungkook," she replies, lacking enthusiasm, her gaze scanning him from head to toe. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to do a favor for my mom," he clarifies, and if I didn't know better, I'd almost believe him. "My mom asked Y/N to keep her company since my dad will be out of town for a few days. I came to pick her up."

"Really?" my mom looks at me, and I don't say anything, just nodding.

"It's true. My dad went to Daegu this weekend, and since my mom hasn't been feeling well, she asked Y/N to spend time with her. If you allow it, of course," he smiles calmly, and I brace myself waiting for my mother's response. I watch her weigh her options, glancing between Jungkook and me for what feels like an eternity before she sighs and nods.

"Alright, that's fine. Is your mom feeling okay?"

"Yes, she's getting better. Can we go now?" he asks, a hint of urgency in his voice.

"Yes, you may go," my mom sighs, placing a hand on her forehead. "It's a shame you're missing the service today, Y/N. Next week, you'll definitely come, okay?"

"Yes, mom, for sure," I agree weakly, clearing my throat and avoiding her gaze, still stunned that she let me go to Jungkook's house. Well, not his house, but is practically the same thing.

"Shall we go, Y/N? My mom is waiting," Jungkook says, raising an eyebrow. I nod, still silent, as we make our way toward the exit.

Some people stare, especially the older members, who seem shocked by Jungkook's appearance–too conservative, in my opinion. Somehow, the situation feels even funnier. Once we're sure no one can see us anymore, I burst into laughter, clutching my stomach. Jungkook chuckles too, exhaling as if he's just finished a tough exam and is finally free.

"Your mom is tough, huh?" he laughs. "I thought she was going to kill me with her eyes."

"Sorry," I say, still giggling a little. "She's like that with everyone."

"Even with you?"

"Even with me," I nod. "What do we do now?"

"Now, we go to my apartment. My friends have the key, so they're probably already there."

"Don't tell me they're all guys," I groan, suddenly anxious. I hadn't considered that he might not have any female friends, and I'd be the only girl at the apartment if that were the case.

"No, relax! I have female friends too. You'll like them," he assures me, walking toward a sleek black car parked across the street. I know nothing about cars, but I can tell this one is expensive. I feel out of place, acutely aware that Jungkook lives in a different world, one that's far removed from my own.

The tension in the car is palpable as we drive. The ride feels like it takes forever, the windows closed, and I'm intoxicated by his scent. I discreetly watch his large hands on the wheel, the way his long fingers tap rhythmically against the leather seat. I have to swallow hard to keep from drooling over him. I'm starving–not for food, but for him. All week, I've yearned to be near him, to touch him. I think I'm suffering from a Jungkook overdose, craving something I haven't even tasted yet.

I ponder whether he's aware of the effect he has on me, but I like to believe he hasn't noticed. It's easier that way. I breathe slowly, attempting to relax in my seat. It takes another ten minutes before Jungkook opens the gate to a condo with a small remote and drives in slowly. His car fits the place perfectly. Everything is stunning and upscale. I glance at my clothes and regret agreeing to come. Why did I say yes? I don't know his friends, and I don't know Jungkook that well, aside from the overwhelming attraction I feel toward him. What do I actually know about him? That he's a tattoo artist from Seoul? That he's rich and hasn't set foot in a church since childhood? I feel like I've walked into a situation that's spiraling out of control.

"Hey, Y/N, are you okay? You went quiet all of a sudden," he asks, concern etched on his face.

"I'm fine. Just feeling a bit strange," I admit.

"Why?"

"I don't know," I confess, omitting my paranoid thoughts. "I always feel like this in new places."

"I get that. I feel that way too," he tells me as we step into the parking elevator. I follow him, digesting this new revelation.

"You seem so confident and social," I comment, genuinely amazed. His big eyes meet mine as the elevator rises, floors passing by in a blur.

"I know, it seems that way. But in reality, I'm quite introverted. I have a small circle of friends and prefer it that way. I just fake it really well," he shares, and I find myself wanting to know more about the person behind the confident exterior.

"Really?" I ask, intrigued.

"Yeah," he nods, his expression earnest.

I try to respond, but the elevator stops on a floor, and Jungkook smiles at me, indicating that this is the right place. I feel one of his hands gently touch my waist, guiding me to a white door. I have to take a deep breath to keep from freaking out, my sweaty, trembling hands hidden in my pocket. I hear different music from the other side of the door before the place fully opens up to us.

"Hey, he's here! Finally, Jungkook!" I hear a male voice. It's a guy around Jungkook's age, I realize as soon as we walk in. His hair is a dark red, and his skin is pale and smooth. It's no surprise that his arms are covered in tattoos, drawings and phrases I can't read so far away. He also watches me closely, smiling warmly.

"Guys, this is YN, the one I told you about," Jungkook introduces me with a smile.

I turn red because there are at least seven people staring at me from head to toe. The apartment is well-kept, with dark wooden furniture. The living room is immaculate, with abstract paintings and photos of Jungkook and his family on the walls. I don't have much time to take everything in as my eyes focus on Jungkook's friends, who are strangers to me so far. Saying they're different from me would be an understatement.

They all have many tattoos and wear dark clothing. I sense an aura of confidence from all of them, but never hostility. It's as if they're very similar to Jungkook, with a completely different exterior from their inner selves. I relax a bit, smiling warmly and putting on my best expression.

"Nice to meet you all," I say, feeling a bit shy. They stand up and smile at me.

"Nice to meet you, Y/N. I'm Yoongi. That's my girlfriend, Minji," says the red-haired guy, pointing to the woman who just smiles. I offer my hand, feeling his cold skin from the beer bottle he was holding earlier.

"I'm Bora, and this is my boyfriend, Jimin," one of the dark-haired women greets me next, pointing to her boyfriend. They're a good-looking couple, the kind you see in magazines. Jimin has the brightest and most open smile.

"Nice to meet you," I nod.

"I'm Taehyung, but you can call me Tae," one of the guys says, taking a sip of his drink.

"I'm Yoori, Tae's girlfriend. Nice to meet you," she winks, making me laugh.

"And I'm Hayun, the only single one in the group," one of the girls shakes my hand, pulling me into a hug. She kisses my cheek, making her presence increasingly noticeable.

"Hayun, you're only single because you want to be, come on," Bora rolls her eyes. Hayun laughs, grabbing a snack from the coffee table.

"I like being single, except when I'm surrounded by couples. Especially couples like you guys."

"Do you have a boyfriend, Y/N?" Jimin asks. Embarrassed, I shake my head.

"No," I reply. They seem surprised, making noises with their mouths.

"But Jungkook is single too, right?" The guy with dark hair says, drinking his beverage. I thinks his name is Tae, if I remember right.

"And I want to keep that way." Jungkook replys.

"Of course you do." Yoongi laughs along with his friends, rolling his eyes. I remain silent, not understanding the joke. Then Yoongi looks at me and seems to notice my confusion. "Y/N, Jungkook never dates. The only time he tried, it went so wrong that now he doesn’t want to do it again."

"It was a disaster." Yoori adds, as if telling a fictional story. Jungkook rolls his eyes, sighing, but his friend continues: "he’s been avoiding relationships like the devil avoids the cross since then."

"Really?" I ask, genuinely curious.

"It’s not true, Y/N." Jungkook smiles at me. "They’re idiots."

"That’s not a lie." Minji, who had been silent until then, clarifies. "He’s been asked out several times, and he always declines. Women go crazy for him, for some reason."

"I know what the reason is." Jimin laughs mischievously, suggesting something while raising an eyebrow. I turn red when they laugh at the joke. Jungkook doesn’t contest it, too busy eating one of the snacks on the table. "But what about you, Y/N? Have you ever dated before?"

"Never." I reply. They don't look surprised this time.

"So you're like Jungkook, who avoids relationships?" Bora asks with a laugh. I feel Jungkook's eyes on me, watching attentively for my response. I shake my head, feeling awkward.

"No, actually, it's just a lack of options," I clarify, deciding to be honest. I hold my hands together nervously.

"Now you have two options," Yoongi suggests with a chuckle. Minji hits his arm trying to stop him, but he continues: "There's Hayun, since she likes to try out a little bit of everything, like some pussy and shit."

"Oh!" I widen my eyes, shocked, as they laugh even more. It's the first time I've seen someone speak so openly like this. Embarrassed, I look at Hayun, but she doesn't seem to mind the comment, laughing with the others.

"Who would be the other option?" Taehyung asks his friend with his trademark grin.

"Our friend Jungkook, obviously," Yoongi clarifies, and I choke on the answer, coughing uncontrollably.

They laugh even more, watching me nearly suffocate from the joke. Jungkook pats my back, smiling widely. His thumb caresses the skin of my arm, waiting for me to calm down. We're so close that he inadvertently wraps one of his arms around my shoulder. I'm shocked and even more unsettled. For me, physical contact beyond my mom is rare. Hugs, affection... I'm just not used to it.

"Are you okay?" he asks amidst his friends' chatter. I nod, staring at my hands. "Sorry about Yoongi; he always makes these kinds of jokes. He doesn't mean any harm."

"It's fine," I assure him, feeling awkward, unable to look into his eyes. "I actually liked everyone."

"Really?" he asks, bringing his nose close to my hair. My whole body shivers as I realize he's smelling my perfume, giving a satisfied smile when he pulls away. "Good to know."

I stay silent, feeling his warm breath near me. Jungkook removes his arm from my shoulder, but his skin still brushes against mine when he takes off his heavy jacket, leaving him in just a T-shirt. His friends are fun and involve me in the conversation, making me feel comfortable, but the truth is that having Jungkook so close drives me crazy and I can't pay much attention. I wonder how long I'll feel this way about him. Will this strong effect never go away? This is the third time we've met, but something tells me that no matter how many times I see him-be it two times or a thousand-my heart will always race whenever he gets close and smiles at me.

I don't even notice the time passing and only realize it's late when Yoongi, Jimin and Taehyung offer to take their girlfriends home, along with Hayun, who complains about not having anyone waiting for her at her apartment. Everyone leaves until only Jungkook and I remain. He promised to take me to his mother's house if I wanted, but I'm hesitant to ask as it's quite likely Mrs. Jeon is already asleep by now.

"Y/N, do you want me to get a towel for you?" Jungkook asks, tidying up the living room. I'm confused, picking up some empty soju bottles his friends drank to throw away.

"What do you mean?"

"You're not going to stay here?" he asks, furrowing his brow.

"Not really?" I laugh, then realize I might have been a bit rude, so I rephrase my response. "I mean, I don't think so. I don't want to be a bother."

"It's no bother. If you want, you can take a shower in my bathroom and sleep in the guest room." He offers with a smile. I bite my lower lip, unsure what to decide. I want to stay here, but it's just him and me now; is it really the right thing to do? It doesn't matter, Y/N. Just for one night.

"Okay then. Do you have a toothbrush, please?"

"Of course I do. Come with me, I'll get the stuff for you to use the bathroom." He calls me with a smile and walks down the long hallway. We pass by a few doors until we reach his room. My throat goes dry as my eyes scan the new space. His bed is large and covered with a dark gray blanket. The walls are white and everything is very organized, with a laptop next to the wardrobe and a fluffy black rug on the floor. His scent is everywhere, almost as if I'm breathing him. I clutch my hands together nervously about being alone with Jungkook in such an intimate space. He reappears after going to the closet, holding a white towel and some cotton clothes.

"You can take a shower in my bathroom while I use the guest one," he says, placing the items in my hands.

"Jungkook, that's not necessary..."

"Don't worry. I want you to be comfortable." He says before I can argue. His satisfied smile makes me not deny it again, happy to receive so much care from him. I just nod, agreeing. "The toothbrush is in the cabinet by the sink, in the package. You can open it, okay?"

"Okay, thank you very much." I smile before he walks down the hallway. I head to the door leading to the bathroom and sneak into the new space. I start thinking Jungkook has no flaws.

The place is as clean as the rest of the apartment, which makes me curious; does he clean everything himself, or does he hire someone to keep it tidy? I slowly take off my dress, grabbing my phone to text my mom and let her know I'm okay. I feel bad for lying, but the night was so good that I can't truly regret it. If I had to lie, to meet these same people, I would do it again. Thinking this surprises me, because just a few hours ago, I didn't think this way. The shower has a strong hot jet of water that massages my whole body, and it's so good that I have to convince myself to finish the shower and put on the clothes, trying to be done before Jungkook.

I brush my teeth quickly, smelling my skin that's still male fragrant with the liquid soap. I smile at myself in the mirror, brushing my hair with my fingers, trying to manage the unwashed strands. I open the bathroom door carefully, trying not to make too much noise and disturb the neighbors at this hour, when I see Jungkook again, this time only in a towel. I hold onto the doorframe, barely able to stand. A voice in my head tells me I shouldn't be watching him naked again and that I should turn around, go back into the bathroom, and pretend nothing happened, but I can't. I simply can't anymore. His muscular, wet back is in my field of vision as he searches for clothes. At that moment, my brain turns to mush and I decide to say what's been stuck in my throat.

"You're doing this on purpose, aren't you?" I muster the courage to ask him but I regret it immediately. What the hell am I doing? Jungkook turns slowly and the view from the front is a thousand times better than from the back. His whole body glistens in the light of the room, and his tattoos have never been so vivid. His body is muscular, virile and strong. I gonna lose my mind! Feeling new sensations I've never experienced for anyone before.

"Y/N?" He whispers my name with that soft voice he used when we first met. He doesn't seem surprised or embarrassed, which makes me even more unsettled.

"You're doing this on purpose, Jungkook?" I ask again. I have no idea where I got such courage and I don't know how long it will last. My heart feels like it's going to leap out of my chest. My whole body is on edge and sweating. I feel my hands trembling as I swallow hard. "You're trying something? I mean... you're not wearing clothes again and..."

"What do you think, Y/N?" he retorts suddenly, with a hoarse, deep voice. His eyes wander from my head to toes, as he raises an eyebrow along with his piercing, with a smirk at the corner of his mouth. My legs turn to weak twigs immediately, ready to collapse.

"I-I don't know." I stammer as he takes one step, then two and three, getting closer and closer to me.

"When I arrived from my trip to Busan, on the first day, I was tired and exhausted," he tells me, taking another step. I start to run out of breath, anxious and aroused. My cheeks flush as he speaks more slowly. "All I wanted was to rest and sleep the whole night, but that night I couldn't, not for an hour. Do you know why?"

"N-no..." I moan softly as his chest presses against mine. His warm, wet skin makes contact with mine, and I no longer know where I begin or end, pressed against his body. His pink lips curl into a wicked smile, as if he knows exactly what he's doing to me and it's all intentional. I shiver as his free hand moves up my wrist and grips the back of my neck firmly, making my eyes focus on his mouth and then his dark, deep eyes.

"A woman, next window, taking off all her damn clothes, completely shameless," he growls, pulling my neck closer to his face and pressing his lips to my ear. My spine tingles as I feel his teeth on my earlobe, in a bite that doesn't hurt but damn, it makes me shiver. My body contracts once and twice, and I know exactly what I'm feeling now: desire. The kind I feel occasionally when I try to touch myself alone and can't reach climax. The feeling I only have when I'm alone and confortable in my bed, trying to use my imagination even with the lack of real experience, but this is real, and it is infinitely better than what my mind could create.

"It was an accident, Jung..." I try to say, but my voice doesn't come out. The tip of his nose travels along a sensitive spot behind my ear, one I didn't even know existed, slowly moving down my jawline, discovering new paths. His hand tightens around my waist, keeping me in place, immobile.

"It may be that you didn't notice, Y/N, but I know you were watching me, even while I was undressing, even when you had every opportunity to stop." He argues with a smile, as someone who knows what they're doing and enjoys seeing the result. "And you know what's worse...? The worst thing is knowing the effect you have on me. From the first time I saw you in my house, with your innocent and curious eyes. I can't get you out of my damn head. Your mouth, your scent..."

"J-Jungkook... please." I beg, closing my eyes tightly. And I know what I want. I want him, since the first time I saw him. Since my eyes met his, I desired him so strongly that I couldn't think straight. He pulls away just a little, and I almost moan in a plea for him not to go. He sighs, pressing his forehead to mine.

"Can I kiss you, Y/N?" he asks in a very soft voice, and I nod because, despite all the things I believe in–God, hell, heaven and even my mother–nothing has ever been as adored as Jungkook. Since I met him, inexplicably, I only think about him, like a spell unable to contemplate of any other answer besides yes. I look at his eyes as they travel to my mouth, and I lower mine to his, exhilarated by that pink that only exists in him.

I move closer, my lips almost touching his, feeling the warmth of his breath. "Just kiss me, please." I murmur scared of what I'm doing; temptation clear in every word. And then he does.

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luciferlightbringer · 10 months ago

Text

Love in a Hopeless Place

Chapter 12

Hey! I'm so sorry that this chapter took a while! This week was a lot and smut takes a lot of energy for me to write because I care about the details and all. But now it is here! Also, I was gonna put a more cute/loving gif of Lucifer for for this one but then I saw this was and I couldn't stop laughing, so here we are. Enjoy~

Chapter 11|Chapter 12 (FINAL CHAPTER)

Lucifer x prostitute fem!reader Word Count: 5.3 k CW: Slowburn, Angst, Prostitution, Hurt/comfort, trauma, fluff, depression, anxiety, insecurity, kissing, SMUTTTT (penetration, oral, handjobs, sub/dom, sex toys)

By the end of the day, all your things had been moved over to the hotel. Lucifer had offered to put your things in his room, but you had asked for your own, both because you wanted to have your stuff separate for now... and part of you wanted a separate place to be if you after Lucifer ever had issues come up. You didn't anticipate it happening, but the anxiety that came with a new relationship, especially your first healthy one, left you needing some time to adjust. Lucifer, being the good man that he was, respected it, but not without a little pouting, but you reassured him that you would still be spending every night sleeping by his side.

By the end of the day, you were tired, and honestly, so was Lucifer. The physical and emotional toll of the day had caught up to the both of you and you went to bed early that night. Snuggling up in each other's arms.

The next morning, Lucifer woke up early, excited, with a plan for the day. Lucifer got up and got dressed for the day, gave you a swift kiss on the lips as you laid half awake in bed and whispered, "I have some things I need to do today, but see you later. Ok? You're booked out with me starting dinner time, got it?" You nodded sleepily. He kissed you again, deeper this time. "I love you, Duckie." And then he left to go pick up supplies for his plan with you later.

A little bit later, you finally woke up and laid in Lucifer's- Lucifer and YOUR's bed... that would take some while to get used to. You heard a faint sound of commotion down in the lobby. You decided to get up to see what all the commotion was about, throwing on a basic shirt and shorts. It had been forever since you had gotten to have a slow day and wear clothes that weren't required to make you look like a sex toy, the change was really nice.

You skip downstairs to come face to face with a couple of familiar faces... some of your friends from the brothel! Gemma, Natalie, and Katrina, had all come also wanting to move into the hotel and give redemption a try. They saw how Lucifer and the others had fought for you, and they wanted in on that kind of support, even if they were still going to work at the brothel. You hugs them all and cried happy tears.

"You, uhhh... wouldn't be willing to spare one more hug, would ya, Babydoll?" You turned around at the familiar voice to see Larry standing behind you.

"Larry!" you hugged him, "What are you doing here?"

"Well.." he said sheepishly, "Truthfully, I've been losing the heart to run that brothel over the last several decades... Although business is already up a lot since it got out the Lucifer used my place, haha! We will see what happens... I am still running it, but... I might not be trying to find any new girls is all. Learning about this hotel here... gave me something else to try out... if... you are ok with me being here... that is..."

You smiled at Larry and hugged him again, "Of course I am! Every sinner is welcome here! Just one thing though... my new boyfriend might not be too fond of you calling me Babydoll anymore."

Larry laughed, "Fair enough, wouldn't want to upset him, I already know what that looks like, yeeshh," he said playfully pulling at his collar, "How about just 'doll'?" You nodded with a laugh, "That should work". You helped Larry and the other girls move in most of the day. Luckily you were distracted enough that you did not see Lucifer pop in and out the the hotel several times with supplies.

Eventually it came dinner time and you went off to your own room, to shower and get dressed for the event with Lucifer that night. You walked into your room to find a beautiful black and red dress with matching shoes and a bag next to it with a note saying:

Got you a little something for our first official date, I hope you like it. Love, Luci <3

Your heart swelled, you had no idea how your life had ended up like this, but you were the happiest you had ever been. You sighed happily and went to take a quick shower, did your hair with simple makeup and put on the dress. It fit your dimensions perfectly, like scary perfectly, and had no tag.

Did he have this made for you? This was going to be a lottttt to get used to, you were dating a King. Oh my god, you were dating a King. No... you were dating Lucifer, he could have been a sinner just like anyone else and it wouldn't matter to you. He could fall to an even darker pit of Hell and you would follow him. This must have been how Lilith felt all those years ago. You finished getting ready and you heard a knock on your door at your usual time.

You went to go open the door and saw Lucifer standing in front of you, wearing a more simple suit that was still just as sexy as his normally outfit, but with more black and red details to match you. As you catch his view, he catches yours, and you both look at each other with jaws agape as you take in each other's beauty. Lucifer was so happy that the dress fit you, and in all. the. right. ways. He gave you a prideful smile.

"I'm glad I got the measurements correct," he said with a smirk.

"So it was custom made, how did you know my dimensions?" you smirked back at him.

Lucifer raked his eyes up and down your body, "I'm just... good with spacial awareness." He wiggled his eyebrows.

You chuckled and nodded with a cheeky smile, "Wow, I never thought such a nerdy sentence could sound so hot~" you purred.

Lucifer got a little flustered, "Oh shut up," he grabbed your hand and putted you into a deep kiss. You two stood in the kiss and embrace for a few minutes before Lucifer pulled away, breathing heavily.

"I don't want to get too ahead of myself, we have an itinerary to keep to" Lucifer says as he taps his cane on the floor. Before you can ask what he meant, he teleports the both of you to a secluded room with large windows that overlook the Pride Ring, music softly playing in the background, Swan Lake.

You looked at the view and smiled, "All this for me?" you ask.

"Oh this is just the beginning of our night, my love. And yes, you deserve this and much much more," he kissed both of your hands before taking you to your chair. You and Lucifer ate dinner together, spent hours listening to music, flirting, and eventually got up and started dancing together. This made Lucifer think about how things used to be with Lilith, but he could appreciate that it was different, it was with you.

He dips you and kisses you deeply, running his hands down your frame. His body had been aching for yours all day during the preparations for the night, but he knew he had to be patient just a little longer. We wanted so desperately to claim you, but also, to fill you with all the love and pleasure that he could muster. It was the least you deserved.

Lucifer pulls his head back to be able to look at you as you look up at him, his eyes full of love as he smiled down at you, "I love you my darling, and from this day on, I will make sure you never go a day in your life where you doubt that."

You felt tears well in your eyes, "I love you too, King of Hell, King of my heart. I will do everything in my power to be by your side and love you." You kiss him again as he ends the dip, standing you back upright.

"Are you ready for the rest of the evening?" He said with some flirty mischief in his eyes, wiggling his eyebrows again.

You tuck a strand of hair behind his ear, "Oh I am."

Lucifer tapped his cane and you both teleported back to the hotel, in front of your door. "I have one more outfit for you tonight, get changed and come to our room in ten minutes," he asked trying to hide the excitement in his eyes at his plans for you. You nodded.

Lucifer kisses you again, deeper than all of the others, barely able to keep himself from taking you right there in the hallway. He parts and walks back to the room he called both of yours. You smiled and watched him walk away before going into your room. On the bed was another new outfit, who had put that there while you were gone? It was Angel, Angel wanted to help

On your bed, was a simple but elegant robe, the type of robe you would find at a spa or something, and nothing else. What was he up to? Before putting on the robe you also put on a set of lingerie that you had gotten a while ago, just for him to see if he had ever wanted to have sex with you back when he was still paying for your time, but now he got to see it for free, and that made you even happier.

You slipped on the robe, and after ten minutes, you walked down to your shared room with Lucifer and knocked on the door. Lucifer called for you to come in, and you opened the door to the room filled with lit candles, rose petals on the floor, a table over on the side that had stuff on it covered in a cloth, and Lucifer standing near the side of the bed, also wearing a robe that matched yours, this hat and cane off to the side. All you were able to see was his chest exposed down to the V in the robe and his black arms up to his elbows and his black legs to to the knee where they started to transition to white.

You laughed as you walked into the room towards Lucifer, "What is all this?"

Lucifer looked you over, Hells he wanted to rip that robe off of you, "Well... I wanted this all to be special. I know I could just toss you on the bed and probably have my way with you but... I want this to feel different... I don't this to feel like just another job... I want it to feel like love."

His words left a pang in your heart, you got close and cupped his face "You don't have to do all of this for me to feel like that, everything about you makes this feel like love... frankly... I struggled most of the time to see you as just a client... after a while I hated that you were because I wanted for it all to be real."

"Just for both of us to find out it was real the whole time," he said as he nuzzled into your hand, "I love you, and I'm going to spend the reset of the night and every day after showing you just how much I do." Lucifer then pulled you into a deep kiss. Both of you start to explore each other's bodies with your hands a little before Lucifer stops you again.

"Hells, you make it so hard to stop, but I have a plan here," he clears his throat, he is already shaking a little out of excitement and nerves, "You have spent a lot time using your body for others and I want to make you feel good, so I was going to give to a message. Does that sound ok?"

You melted, hell he was sweet and really hot, how could he possibly get more hot? "That sounds amazing actually..."

Lucifer's eyes lit up, "Great! And then uhh... whenever we move on to other activities... I may have uhh... gone with Asmodeus to get like... a bunch of new toys! Hahah... we don't have to use them now, if you don't want to. I just wanted us to have options..." he said pointing over at the covered table on the side.

You looked over at the table and then back at him with lust and mischief filled eyes, tucking a hair behind his ear, "We should probably get the massage started before I start perusing those toys," you purred.

Lucifer's face turn red and his loins stir, he gulps hard as he walked you over to the bed. As you laid down, you looked at Lucifer as you slowly shrugged off your robe and tossed it to the side, leaving you in only your lingerie as you laid down on the bed with your back and ass to the sky. Lucifer raked his eyes across your body and gulped hard again, this is the first time he had seen you this exposed since the night you met, and the memories alone did not do you justice.

He jumped up on the bed beside you, swiping your hair away from your back and covering his hands in massage oil before starting to rub into your back, and beginning his goal of feeling every inch of your body with his hands. He started to work his way down your shoulders, neck, lower back, and it felt amazing for him to touch and for you to experience.

As he moved his hands around your curves, he looked for points of tension and pain, and used a little magic to help in aiding his hands in relaxing you and making your body feel good. His touch feels incredible to you, even without the magic, and you can't help but moan and sigh as he worked your muscles. The attention he gave your back alone was already enough to get you turned on, even though you already had been pretty turned of from all the kisses, but you felt yourself starting to get more wet.

Lucifer held back a moan as he hear you start to sigh at the pleasure of his hands on you. He loved that he was making you feel good, making you feel pleasure. He wanted to worship you, your body. Your body was the alter to the entity that he now wanted to worship for the rest of his life. He felt himself already start to get drunk off the feeling of your soft skin, your beautiful muscles and curves. His hands started to explore more down an arm, down to your hand, working at your palm and trailing kisses down from your shoulder to your wrist before moving to the other arm and repeating the process there before doing the same down each leg.

You continue to moan and sigh as he moved across your body. The massage felt so good but your pussy continued to ache for him, every time he got close to your entrance, you started to shake and moan more. This was not lost on Lucifer, he loved seeing you quiver beneath him, and he wanted to badly to just dive into you... but not quite... he needed to torture you a little more.

He quickly snapped the back of your lingerie top and before you had time to talk, he quickly flipped you over and got on top of you. He straddled you as he slowly undid the tie on the front of his robe and slipped it off of him, leaving him completely exposed above you. You were now able to see the entirely of his well sculpted body, chest, back, hips... and his cock that was already hard and erect for you. Hells it looked incredible, you just wanted it in... so many places... He gave you a long and passionate kiss, with some exchanging of saliva between your mouths, tongues exploring each other before he starts to work to massage to front of your body.

The touch on your front was much more sensual thought than it had been on your body. Lucifer slowly kissed down your neck, your collarbone, your chest, down to you breasts. Lucifer removed the lingerie top the rest of the way before massaging around your breasts, playing with your nipples, kissing and nipping around one, before putting his mouth on it and sucking on it. The nerves in your nipples felt like they were on fire and that each flick of his tongue made your loins start to throb as you groaned. You started to weave you finger though his blonde hair tugged at it a little. He took his time before moving over at repeating the process on your other nipple.

You felt like you were going crazy with lust at this point, you had never been so desperate for someone to enter inside of you. You opened your legs a little, hoping for him to take the hint to just dive in... to devour you.

Lucifer chuckled to himself as he felt your legs shift open, he decided it was time to start ending your torment. As he finished his attention on your second breast, he traced a hand down your stomach and down to your mound, moving the fabric of your thong out of the way before starting to tease your entrance.

You start to pant and groan louder, "Luci, baby please... Please touch me... put your fingers in me... I can't take it... Mmmm.... pleas-uhhH!!!!" You moan louder as he cuts you off mid-plea by sliding a finger into you, and starting to pump it in and out. He was now able to feel just how wet you were.

"Mmm, all of this wetness for me? With how much fucking you do, I wouldn't think you would be such a dripping mess for me, I'm so honored," he purred as he stared up at you from your chest, mischievous lust dancing across him face, burning in his eyes. Slowly, Lucifer added a second and then a third finger into your dripping hole as he continued to finger you and he continued to kiss and nip his way down your stomach and down your thighs. curling his fingers up into your G-spot making you cry out with pleasure.

As soon as his mouth reached your thighs, he removed his fingers, getting better access to bite and kiss his way up your thighs towards your dripping mound, he was pussy drunk just looking at your gorgeous entrance. He looked up into your eyes as be positioned his mouth just above your folds.

"Oh my love, every inch of you is the most exquisite and radiant treasure... are you ready for my tongue to ruin you?" Lucifer growled.

"Yes... Luci, yes please... ruin me... eat me..." you whispered.

Lucifer gave you a wicked smile, "Good... because I've been starving since the day I met you, and it's time for me to eat my fill." Lucifer then enclosed his mouth around your folds and starts to swipe his tongue up and down your entrance before plunging his tongue deep into you.

You let out a scream of pleasure as his tongue assaults your entrance, it was incredible and he had barely started. Every touch from him set your body on fire. You grabbed onto Lucifer's golden locks as he lapped at you with a vicious hunger, as if he had not eaten in eons and your juices were his only source of food. Your screams of pleasure made him rock hard and he started to grind his own crotch against the bed to alleviate some of the need.

Seeing this, you make the decision that you wanted to take a more active role in the pleasure. You figure out how to flip Lucifer on his back, which caught him my surprise, and then you crawled up onto him so that you were hoovering your pussy over his face and were able to get access to his dick.

Lucifer grinned wildly at the sight of your mound hoovering above him, and grabbed both of your thighs to encourage you down until his mouth locked onto your folds again and his tongue was about to gain access to the inside of you again.

At the same time, you reached down and grabbed his dick, which caused Lucifer to moan deeply beneath you. As you started to stroke him more, Lucifer moaned more, and started to thrust his hips up into your hand. You guys try to match each other's pace with each other's pace of licking and pumping.

Lucifer pulled out his favorite trick, which was elongating his tongue inside of you and snaking it around until he heard you sharply inhale, indicating that he had once again found the sensitive bundle of nerves inside of you. He locked in on that spot and gave it as much attention as he could muster, even though he was finding it a little harder to focus due to the incredible feeling of your gorgeous soft hands on his throbbing shaft.

You and Lucifer continued like this for a while, an symphony of moans and sighs building between the two of you until you couldn't take it anymore, you needed him inside of you.

"Luci... uhhh... baby I need you... Oh hells... I need to feel you inside of me.." You sighed. Without another thought, Lucifer moved his hands up to your stomach and pushed you back onto the bed. He flipped around and crawled up to you, giving you a deep and hungry kiss as he spread your legs apart, finally ripping off your thong completely and discarding to the side so that it would not be in the way anymore. You loved getting lost in the taste of your juices on his tongue.

He broke off for a moment, panting, readying himself, teasing his cock at your entrance. He looked up into your eyes, a fire raging of lust and love as he growled.

"I've wanted this since the moment I saw that gorgeous sinful body of yours, since the day that the divine powers made it so that you were the one that ended up at may door, above anyone else. And now here we are, you naked in my bed, begging to feel the blessings of my cock inside of you? Oh well then I will RUIN you like this every day for the rest of your life, you hear me? This is your eternal punishment now, in my bed, slobbering, drunk off of my cock. Now tell me, darling, tell me what it is you truly desire?!"

You cried out, "I want you to fuck me Lucifer Morningstar!"

And at that, Lucifer started to slide into your entrance. You both moan loudly as you make connection with each other. Lucifer could on contain himself as his wings started to unfold from his back as he railed you. He looked down to see your head thrown back and your eyes rolling, and again he could not contain himself as his demon form emerged. Horns sprouted from his temples, eyes red, claws sharp, and a sharp black tail twisted out from behind him and wrapped its way around one of your thighs.

You looked up to see the new view of his, his angelic an demonic combination of features were so beautiful and terrifying in the sexiest way possible. His hands glided and squeezed along your body, kissing your legs as he held them up. You felt yourself starting to unravel.

"Luci-, oohhh... baby... it's soooo goodd.... I... I'm gonnnaa..." you tried so hard to hold yourself together a little longer.

Lucifer looked down at you with red eyes and growled with a smirk, "Cum for me, baby... let me finally claim that pleasure of yours... I'm so close..."

At his encouragement and growl, you threw your head back and moaned loudly as you felt yourself completely unravel, cumming and contracting around his beautiful cock. As you scream and your walls tightened around Lucifer, he felt himself also come undone as he felt waves of pleasure take him over at he hit his climax, emptying himself into you.

Lucifer then collapsed and rolled over to you side to breathe, "That... was... amazing..." he gasped.

"Ya... it was... fuck..." you weren't ready to had your hands off of him. You pulled him close and started kissing and making out with him again. He rolled back into your embrace to kiss your lips. After a few minutes, hands started to trail around each other's bodies again and you both started to let kisses roam as your bodies grinded against each other. You guys were both ready for another round.

You took Lucifer's shaft back into your hand and you started to pump un and down on it, and it did not take long before it was rock hard again in your hands. You then flipped onto you hands and knees at you continued to stroke his cock, still glistening and wet from your juices. A bead of pre-cum started to form at the tip, which you swiped off with your tongue, causing Lucifer to let out a pitiful moan and grab onto your hair.

"Oh baby... please.." he begged. All of the dominance and power he had earlier was gone, leaving the submissive desperate man you remembered meeting the first night. This reminded you of your plan from that night, you eyes glittered with mischief.

You slid your mouth around the head of his mouth, swirling around the tip before taking as much for his dick into your mouth. Lucifer was already losing it at the tip, but when you dove deeper around him he let out a long pitiful moan.

"Fuccckkkkkkk babyyyyy... ahhhh!!!!" he cried. You continued to pump your mouth up and down his mouth, some times removing your mouth completely to lick up the side from base to tip, and taking his balls into your mouth before returned back to filling your mouth with his cock. After several minutes of this, you stopped and slipped you way off of the bed.

Lucifer looked at you confused and in a happy daze as you walked over the the covered table and removed the cloth. The table was filled with more toys than you had ever seen in your life. The options were limitless, but you were looking for one thing in particular. You scanned the table until you found that you were looking for.

You grabbed a strap on and held it up, and gave a sly smile over to your prey that was still a slobbering mess over on the bed. Lucifer's eyes lit up and he gave you a dazed nod. You then took the strap on and started to secure it to you before strutting back to the bed, letting the shaft sway from side to side.

Lucifer slipped off the bed and got in his knees in front of you, taking the plastic phallus in his mouth to kiss and suck on it as well as the surrounding skin of your hips. You enjoyed the view of Lucifer on his knees in front of you for a minute, before you reach down his hand to tip his face up and make him you up at you.

You smirked at his submissive gaze up at you, "Up. On the bed," you commanded.

Lucifer nodded and scrambled onto the bed on all fours, his back arched and and up and ready for you. You grabbed a small tube from the table before slowly making your way back to the edge of the bed, putting a dollop of lube on your fingers before starting to massage his entrance. He gawked and moaned in response, especially he you started to work a finger in, and then two. It had been forever since Lucifer had been pegged, and hell did he miss it. He loved being at someone else's command, not needing to think for a minute. It was pure bliss.

You then started to spread some lube around the plastic of the strap on tip and shaft, making sure there was enough as not to hurt him. You positioned yourself to tease his entrance while you reached forward and grabbed around his throat, pulling him back, and you whispered in his ear.

"Now... are you ready for me to take you back to Heaven, darling?" you growled in his ear.

"Y-yes... yes mommy," he whimpered before you let go of the grip on his neck and slowly eased yourself into him. Lucifer let out a long moan as you slid into him. He dropped back down to all fours, and as you started pumping, he matched your pace in response. He felt so full and high on the feeling of you inside of him. As he got used to it, you started to pump faster and faster, his moans getting louder and louder. You waved your fingers through his hair, griping it and pulling his head back as you railed him, the grip of his hair making him moan and cry even louder, tears of pleasure running down his cheeks. Lucifer reached down and started to stroke himself as you pounded him. You took his other arm and held it behind him, forcing his face with squish into the bedding, muffling his cries.

After a while, Lucifer couldn't take it anymore, "Baby...oh hells... I need... mmmm... I need to fuck you... I beg of you." It made you so wet to see him like this, to have this power over him and to be pleasuring him in this way.

You cocked your head to the side and stopped you momentum while inside of him, and you pull him back up so you could whisper in his ear, "What is the magic word, Luci?" you purred.

"Mmmm... ahhh... p-please?" she whined. You obliged, removing yourself and replacing him on the bed on all four. Lucifer made quick of work of getting you in the same position you had just had him in, but with both hands behind your back as he quickly entered you and began pounding you again, screaming and moaning. You were sure the whole hotel could hear you, but you guys didn't care. It didn't take long until you both were reaching climax again and came at the same time before falling on the bed again in an exhausted heap.

Once he caught his breath, Lucifer pulled you in close, to cuddle against your naked body. Your bodies felt like magic against each other. He wanted to do nothing else other than hold you the rest of the night, you guys had the rest of time to try out the rest of the toys. He found your hand and laced his fingers in with your as he looked in your eyes. All you saw in each other's eyes was love and joy.

"y/n, I love you so much. Now and forever."

"I love you too, Lucifer."

You pulled Lucifer into another passionate kiss.

As you drifted off you sleep in Lucifer's arms, you whispered "I'm so happy we found each other, found love... in a hopeless place."

THE END

(unless?)

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Thank you all so much for the love I have gotten for this story! This is beyond anything I ever thought I would see from this and I am so happy. Some people are interested in a 2-5 years later chapter, would anyone be interested in that? This would be a chapter 13 that I would probably be posted in a few weeks. Let me know in the comments. Also! I will be starting my next Luci x Reader story in a few days, "Talk to Me", which will focus on a Fallen Angel Reader. Let me know if you want tagged in Chapter 1 of that! xoxo, dany ❤️

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