#i've seen this so many times and her begging the doctor to save that family still gets me. god. what a tour de force

[yesokayiknow]

also dang. remember when we all knew catherine tate as just the funny comedian and then s4e2 came out and we watched her scream and sob and rage and it blew everyone's fucking tits off

[comshipbracket]

Antis DNI - Block the tag "comship" if this causes discomfort.

Remember, you are voting for the ship you prefer, not the ship you find more problematic

Propaganda for both ships under the cut.

Disclaimer: All ships (other than NozoCoco) on this bracket are FOLLOWER-SUBMITTED ships, the Mods do not always hold necessary knowledge to be aware of any errors or fanonizing what should be canon material that may arise.

Zackray Propaganda (MinorxAdult, Toxic Dynamic)

"Ray is a 13-year-old girl who wakes up in a weird building without memories. Oh, there are some weird killers in the building with her too. Zack is one of them and the first time they meet he runs after her with a scythe. Love at first sight <3 (/joke)

At first, her memories return and she remembers why she was in that building in the first place. With her memories back, she becomes apathetic and almost indifferent to everything.

After Zack saves her from a very creepy doctor, she turns to him and asks one thing: `Could you kill me?`. Zack is very confused, but after he realizes that he would never be able to leave the building alone, he offers her a deal. He would only kill her after she helped him leave the building. This is the beginning of their connection.

I can't give too many spoilers, but seriously, they are a duo that subverts all expectations. Although Zack is a cold serial killer and blah blah blah, Rachel can be more cursed and scarier than him. It's really funny that she spends the entire anime begging him to kill her, and his reaction every time is `Wtf is wrong with you`. And yes, Zack may be an adult, but Ray can be more rational than him and is very good at understanding things quickly. She is the one who always finds a way for them to escape the traps of the other killers in the building.

He spends the entire anime asking her to smile, because then he would be more excited about killing her, but every time she tries to smile, he laughs at her and says that her smile is lifeless (and it really is, my poor girl).

At one point in the anime she says that he is her god. It's serious. She even hugs a knife he gave to her very intimately.

He compares her to a doll a few times in the anime. It's so weird and cute <3

They're not canon, but I would argue that the romantic subtext is there. Anyway, they are weird, traumatized people who end up getting very attached to each other."

Family Rentarou Propaganda (Pseudo-Incest - Hakari and Hahari are related, Rentarou dates both. Kusuri and Yaku are related, Rentarou dates them both, Pseudo-Age Gap/Pseudo-Teen x Minor - Kusuri and Yaku both use an immortality potion making them LOOK 8, Rentarou is 16, Incest, MotherxDaughter - Hahari french kissed her daughter Hakari, Age Gap, AdultsxMinor, AdultsxTeen - Yaku is 89 and Hahari is 29 while Rentarou is 16, Nonconsensual Drugging/Nonconsensual Love Potion - Kusuri keeps doing this to Rentarou)

"The God of love in Rentarou's world has legitimately declared these are Rentarou's official soulmates. He is required to date all 100 of these girls. When he even considered cheating as an option, he beat himself up for an entire night before settling on making this a proper polycule circumstance. Even when Hakari's mom enters the polycule, the polycule still keeps going strong! He's the first harem protagonist I've ever seen who says `You know what? Let's try polyamory! That's a way better idea!` and manages it healthily

With the polycule growing strong, with this many girlfriends, you might think that Rentarou would run out of energy or time to care for all of them. He doesn't! When it comes to Hakari and Karane, he manages to please them both despite their clashing deredere and tsundere personalities and jealous attitudes. He gets them to fall in love with not only him, but it's heavily implied also with each other!

When Shizuka - a mute girl - enters the picture, he spends entire days staying up all night to transcribe every word in the book she uses as a talking tool into a proper text to speech app, despite the book not having an App Reader version yet. He even downloaded the app he made to his own phone to show it was safe to her!

He's able to understand Nano's lack of emotions and need to do everything logically, but also able to see the subtleties in her mostly neutral expression and notice when she's enjoying herself. With Kusuri, he tries to both support her endeavour of making weird and new drugs, but ALSO to keep her safe. He does everything he can to keep these girls safe.

When Hakari's mom tried to prevent Hakari from dating Rentarou, he and his girlfriends staged a girlfriend rescue mission where they'd snatch her back and find her a new place where they could be together forever, no matter how much it would end up with Hahari trying to hunt them down... only for Rentarou to find a relationship with Hahari as well, after convincing her he was right for her daughter! Hahari fell in love with his genuine and sweet way of adoring each of these girls! If I talk about the rest of them this'll become far too long, so I'll leave it here! I adore Rentarou's family. The best depiction of a polyamorous group I've seen in any media, despite all it's wonks."

[cdyssey]

The Big Bang Rewatch Thoughts:

The way Moffat plays with time travel in this episode is SO much fun to me. Watching the Doctor zip back-and-forth in time to set the pieces for the future, and then getting to see the moments where he realize that he has to do that in the first place, is so clever. It makes time feel fluid and complicated—possible to be rewritten.

I get weepy at so many moments in "the Big Bang," but especially at the Lone Centurion keeps Amy safe for two thousand fucking years segment of the episode. goddamn, seeing that kind of devotion changes a brain chemistry.

And really, how the entire episode is about all the unassailable love between this core cast of characters. Rory and Amy. Amy and Eleven. Eleven and River. Hell, even River and the TARDIS—I've always been made tender by the notion that the TARDIS puts River in a time loop to save her. That's her daughter right there!!!!

ANOTHER MOMENT THAT CHANGES THE BRAIN CHEMISTRY. A devastated and ruthless River making a Dalek beg for mercy!!!!! ahhheojsdoijfoisjfoiejiojoisoi!!!!!!! she's so!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and I am!!!!!!!!

God, Eleven and River's dynamic in "The Pandorica Opens" / "the Big Bang" is a delight all around. The Doctor is finally starting to relax around her and openly flirt—pet names, nose boops, trusting that she'll arrive at his line of thinking when it comes to saving the day. They're having their first dates at the end of the entire universe.

And so that makes it all the more harrowing when River understands that these tentative moments are still early ones, and that the Doctor doesn't know her well enough at what they both think is his end. GOD.

I always lose it a little when Future!Eleven returns to "Flesh and Stone" to talk to Amy. the way that this sequence was so meticulously planned out is really a marvel to behold from a directorial and writing level.

jesus christ, Matt Smith is magnificent. Him tenderly putting Amelia to bed and gently talking to her as their history turns into a mere fairytale right before his eyes is nothing short of stunning. As young as he is, he absolutely sells the fact that he's a 900+ year old alien who has seen so much and traveled for so long. And in his devastated face, you absolutely know that every heartbreak he's ever had—including the one unfurling in front of him—is as fresh as the first.

I gasp every time river walks past her parents' wedding reception even though I know it's coming. oh, she's serving!!!!!

Amy's realization that there's someone missing is so beautifully done all around. One of my favorite moments is her seeing a random bowtie and suspenders in the crowd, and it helping to jolt her memory.

"Raggedy Man, I remember you, and you're late for my wedding!" WEEPS, SOBS, ETC.!!

JSIOJDOSOI, yeah, he's Rory Pond.

"Did you dance? Well, you always dance at weddings, don't you?" oh, god, I'm so unwell about river song sioaoioijsiojios.

The euphoria that the episode ends on is spectacular—the Doctor, Amy, and Rory flying away in their blue box of a home together to solve another mystery. What a trio. What a family.

I enjoyed this rewatch so much. S5 is stellar in a thousand different ways, and this finale took it home with... well... an absolute bang. ;w;

[ariaicefall]

"My reason?" I sat at the bar, watching the bartender pour me a glass of moscato. "Like you, revenge is the simple answer."

Becoming a Vampire Hunter was not easy. I've dedicated so many years to training, to studying and developing whatever magic I could get my hands on. My Vampire Hunter's license sat in my wallet, next to a photo of her.

"I'm looking for someone," I said, pulling out the photo. "Have you seen this woman?"

Dennis stopped glaring at me long enough to look at the photo. He raised an eyebrow at me.

"Isn't that the Witch of Mercy?"

I scoffed. "Mercy? Ha! You're after the Vampire who turned you, but who turned them? If you trace it back far enough you'll find three vampire children are the ones who started it all, but then that begs the question..."

"...how did they become Vampires?"

"Exactly. The story goes, that they were desperate. Three children and their sick mother. The eldest was only a ten-year-old, but he heard a rumor. There was a Witch who could cure any illness, in exchange for a little hard work around her cottage. The siblings were used to hard work, having been helping their mother around their little house . Determined to find a cure for their mother, who even the village doctor had given up on, they went to see the witch."

I had gathered quite the audience now, as I watched the bartender refill my wine.

"That witch tricked those children," I said. "Oh, yes she cured their mother. Exactly as promised, their mother would forever be as she was before she got sick."

"...what happened to the kids?" Someone asked.

"Experiments." I said, maybe too simply. "She turned them into the first Vampires. Perfect little dolls to test her spells and potions on. To find her perfect path to eternal youth and immortality. Now, she has an army of Vampires at her beck and call, and those three children locked up in her celler,"

I took another sip of my wine, listening as my audience seethed around me. How nice, to know so many people agreed with me.

"It's funny you know," I mused staring at my reflection in the wine glass. "She's wasting so much time chasing immortality and eternal youth...but I've been twenty-eight for the past two hundred years. Same age I was before I got sick, just as human as I always was...exactly as my children asked for."

Immortality? Eternal youth? I couldn't care less. I'm going to save my children, and make that Witch regret ever crossing my family.

You’re a vampire hunter. However, upon finally being accepted into the Hunter’s Guild, you realize something. All the other hunters are unwilling vampires who want revenge against the one who bit them, and they want to know what YOUR reason for hunting is, seeing as you’re only human.

[itsthestutterforme]

The Affair (Mr. Cho)

Summary: Y/N sets aside the past she had with Mr. Cho when she realizes he's in trouble. //SMUT Warning, photo is not mine.

Yelling yourself awake, your sweat trickles down your chest and back to be absorbed by your already drenched shirt. Standing up from the couch, you glance at the clock and it read 8:21 pm. You didn't even realize you fell asleep.

You pull off the shirt as you walk into you bedro and toss it across the room. You reach into the drawer to grab another shirt.

You freeze when you see Cho's shirt and slowly reach for it. You had a nightmare about Cho being ambushed and kidnapped. It felt too real to be a dream.

You hated yourself for calling off your relationship with Cho. There was something about how could make you feel like you were the queen of everything by blessing everything you touched. The two of you were meant for each other. You could even go as far as being soulmates in another lifetime.

But in this lifetime, he had a wife and an entire family. You couldn't bring yourself to take time away from them just so he could be with you. You loved him for being able to make that decision, but you loved him enough to make the ultimate decision that be cannot make.

You pull Cho's shirt over head and take your phone into your hands to call Vincenzo. After the fourth ring, he whispers a soft hello when he answers. "What's wrong, why are you whispering?" You say. "It's Mr. Cho." Your heart sinks in your chest. "What about him?"

"He's been held captive. I-" "Where are you right now," "No, Y/N. I will not let you get hurt," "Tell me now, Vinenzo." There was a moment of silence before you hear a deep sigh. "The Geumga Plaza," he says before hanging up.

Rushing to the drawer to grab black jeans, shirt and shoes. You change your clothes as fast as you could and pulled your hair into a high bun. You grabbed your keys and were out the door.

Gi-seok met me into the parking garage and led me to the rest of the group. When you guys rounded the corner, Vincenzo was on his knees as he bled from his head. A man stood over him and raised his leg to kick him.

"Enough!" You say, making everyone stop their motions. The rest of the group mimicked what you said and you rolled your eyes annoyingly. The next thing you knew they were rushing towards you. You duck under the blow the first man threw and thrust kicked him against the wall.

Hitting one man in the throat, you grab his arm and pop it out of place. He yells and you roundhouse kick his face, knocking him out cold. You block another blow and punch him once in the throat and again in his solar plexus before tossing him to the ground.

You felt a hand on your shoulder and when you turned around, it was one of those goons. By the time you had a time to react, an older woman with boxing gloves punches him in the face. You thank her with a soft nod before seeing a man run towards you.

You run towards him and hop on his shoulder to clamp onto his neck when you both rolled on the ground. Using all of your strength and momentum, you throw clear across the plaza, knocking down his people like bowling pins.

Looking around the remaining goons are fighting with the other members of the Cassano family, leaving you wugb the two guys that held Cho.

You were in the process of walking towards him when he broke free and punch one across the face before kicking the other in the chest. He looks at you warmly and you could feel your heart flutter in your chest.

Without thinking, you touched his face tenderly. His right cheek was swollen and covered with bruises. He had a cut above his left eye and his lip was bleeding.

"It isn't as bad as it looks," he says softly. You shake you head and bit your lip angrily. None of this would have happened if he was with you.

"I know what you're thinking, and it's not true." He adds. Pulling away from his face, you move your attention to the bruises peeking out from his shirt.

"You need to go to the hospital," "Why?" "You could have some internal bleeding. We have to make sure." You explain. "I don't t-" you grab his hand and drag him across the plaza to your car.

**

Turns out he did have some internal bleeding from how many blows he took to the chest and stomach. The doctors say that if he didn't come in as soon as he did, he could have died choking on his own blood.

The doctors called Cho's wife that you haven't officially met yet, but she thanked you for saving his life anyway.

You decided to leave soon after, not want to take time away from him and him family. It's been a week since you've seen him last. He hasn't texted or called you, which is both heartbreaking and good at the same time. It means that he's been taking advantage of his new time.

Throwing your gym bag over your shoulder, you reach for the door knob until you heard a knock on your door. You look through the peep hole to see Cho with a large basket in his hands. "What the.." you say to yourself.

Opening the door, your eyes glance over the basket before meeting his gaze. "What's all this?" "See for yourself," he says, giving me the basket. You look at him and he gives you the okay to open it. Setting the basket down on the table, you could hear him door close behind you.

Your eyes widen when you open the basket to see a new iPhone 11 box with an Apple watch sitting right there beside it. Laying there on the bottom was a cotton penguin sweatshirt with a matching fleece shorts bottoms and socks. At the side was your favorite candy, Y/F/C. All of this together could easily be $1000.

"Cho, what are you." You trail off when you notice how close he was to you. "Why are you doing this?" You ask. He smooths over your hair with his hand and cups the back of your head. "I told her everything." He says. "What?!" You say as you pull away from him.

"Why would you do that? You have a family of your own, why would you put that in jeopardy for someone like me?" "Because you are my family, and I love you." "No, Cho, I will never forgive myself if I am the reason why you get divorced from your wife."

Every step he takes towards you, you take a step back until he walks you into the wall near the door. "You saved my life," he whispers as he cups your cheeks.

His eyes drift from your eyes to your lips but doesn't move from his spot as he searches your eyes for approval. He closes the gap between you by pressing his lips to yours.

His abs brushed against your stomach as he pulled you closer to him. Your hands trailed along his jawline as his tongue invades your mouth. He pulls away to kiss down you neck, your skin igniting under his touch. He takes both of your hands into his and pin them against the wall.

He turns you around and pulls your back into his chest. He caresses the back of your arms and sucks on the sensitive skin along the base of your neck. He pulls off your shirt and left warm kiss down your spine. You loved how he took his time with you. He wasn't in any rush.

Series of moans left your lips when he snakes into to your pants and cups your pussy, rubbing soft circles on your clit. Your legs fall open to give him more access, but you were starting to get impatient.

"Please," you beg as he pulls away from you and licks your justice off his fingers with a hum. "I've missed you," he says, lifting you up and throwing you on his shoulder without warning. He flips the light on and sets you on the bed gently before pulling off your tights.

Maintaining eye contact, he slides two fingers into you bundle of nerves and curled at different angles until he hit one of your gspot. Your legs started to tense as a familiar knot forms in your stomach.

He isolates his fingers so his middle finger strokes the upper wall of your pussy while his ring finger and index finger rub circles on the sides. His eyebrows were pressed together as if he was really focused on something.

That was when it hit me you yell out in shock when he hits three separate gspots. "There we go, sweetheart." He rubs your clit with his opposite thumb and your body was thrashing, unable to deal with the increasingly huge wave that was crashing over you.

He continued to move his talented fingers and your stomach grew sore from tensing your abs so much. You were on the brink of your second orgasm when he slowed down his fingers, making you whine.

He took off his glasses and kissed down your stomach. Curling his finger slowly, he moves down you body until his face was settled in between your thighs. He picks up the face with his fingers as kitten licked your sensitive bud. "Oh!" One hand gripped the sheets while the other gripped his hair.

Even after your second orgasm whipped through you, your legs were involuntarily trembling. He cups your cheeks and presses a burningly slow kiss on your lips, taking the air right out of your lungs. "You are... you're amazing." You say, making him chuckle.

"I'm nowhere near done with you yet,"

[9tzuyu]

my guitar is slightly out of tune, but i’m eternally yours.

[reuploaded and revised from my old blog.]

↠ prompt: you have a terminal illness but you have a chance with treatment but you deny it, then you meet wanda and you feel alive again.

↠ warnings: kinda angsty, but worth the read :>.

requests are always open!

masterlist

∘∴∙*⋆∙∴⋆∘∙*. ∘

“Oh–” was all you managed to say. “I recommend we start radiation treatments-” You zoned out and watched your feet dangle from the edge of the exam table. Was this it? Was this really all there was for you? It seemed hopeless to even do anything at this point. You figured if this was affecting you again, it was for a reason. 

"No. I don't want treatment." The doctor looked at you and his gaze faltered. "You do understand that if you refuse treatment this will inevitably kill you?" You nodded. The words felt empty, they carried no weight behind them anymore. Nonetheless, the doctor continued to try and persuade you. 

"I said I don't want the treatment. I'm refusing medical advice. I don't want to have to go through this again, it's obviously not going away. Now where the hell do I sign the papers?" You exasperated. The doctor gave you one last look before getting the papers for you to embark your signature on.

“You’re one-hundred percent sure about this?”

You shrugged your shoulders, “I've got nothin' left for me here anyways. Might as well just let nature take its course.”

"Well surely you've got someone, a friend maybe?" You shook your head.

 "Nope." You replied, popping the P at the end. The doctor seemed to finally grasp the situation when you handed the papers back to him as if you were turning in a job application.

He pursed his lips, "I'm going to give prescribe medication for the pain. Based on the size of the tumor I'd say you have about eight months to live, but only about half of those months will be enjoyable." You nodded your head in reply and gathered your stuff together. 

So how were you going to spend your last months on earth? That was the question you asked yourself. You walked out of the building and found yourself in a coffee shop. It was busy, but you found yourself a seat next to a window in the back of the shop. Your eyes gazed out the window as you pondered your question from earlier.

'I could move to New York and see broadway shows I've never wanted to see'

'There's always casinos–'

'–Or what about splurging your money on dumb things that you'll quite literally never need?'

You laughed at your thoughts. You made up your mind right there, you were going to live the rest of your life just the way it was. It’d be easier that way. You didn't have friends, no longer had parents, so it's not like anyone would really miss you really. All you had was your pet cat and your guitar. And truth be told, that's all you needed. 

Coffee.

"Hello?" You snapped out of your gaze to see a beautiful brunette standing in front of you. The second thing you noticed was her accent, you'd never heard it before. “I was wondering if this seat was taken?” She softly smiled at you. You returned the gesture and shook your head no. "The place is cram packed and you seemed trustworthy. I hope I'm not disturbing you or anything, you seemed to be pretty deep in thought." The young woman blushed a crimson color, "I'm sorry I probably seem weird or something, I'll go."

Normally you would have cared, but at this point in time you didn't mind the company. So, with the slightest bit of hesitation, you called out for her.

“Wait! It’s fine, don’t worry. I-I’m all alone.” The woman’s smile widened as she took a seat across from you. “Thanks. I'm Wanda, what's your name?”

"Y/N." 

"Y/N..." She flexed your name on her tongue, "That's a beautiful name."

"I'm stuck with it for life, so I sure hope it's at least a decent name." You narrowed your eyes at her as you joked. A giggle escaped the gap between her lips, causing a small flutter to emit in your stomach.

"So what do you do?" She asked, intrigued by your presence.

"Well I do a lot of things, I walk, I talk, I breathe-"

"Oh shut up! You know what I meant." Wanda’s eyes gleamed with friendliness and warmth. She seemed like the type you'd be friends with if you weren't dying. "Okay, okay, I play guitar and sing while my cat eats her food." Wanda's eyes lit up at the mention of a cat. 

"You have a cat? What's her name?" Her elbows were propped up on the table with her head resting in her hands, showing just how actually interested she was in you.

“Her name is Nala. You know, from The Lion King?”

Wanda’s brows furrowed together. She’d never seen The Lion King, much less heard of it.

Your jaw dropped at her confusion. “You mean to tell me you’ve never seen The Lion King?”

“I’m Sokovian, what do you expect?” 

“Ahh, I see. Well, do you at least have any pets?”

"My apartment doesn't allow pets."

"So? Sneak one in." You replied nonchalantly, crushing ice between your teeth. Wanda looked at you in shock. "No way! Knowing me I'd get my ass caught on the first day." You shrugged in reply and the conversation quickly went dead.

Wanda checked her phone, moving abruptly to get up from her seat. "I'm so sorry, I have to go now. I'll see you around, okay?"

“Sure.”

After another half hour of waiting on nothing and thinking about everything, you finally decided it was time to leave. A feeling of regret washed over you. The woman was kind, very friendly, something that you craved.

But you couldn’t allow yourself these things now, especially given the direction you were heading.

_____

Over the next few weeks you'd spent your time songwriting, journaling and a midst of other lonely, boring things. Sometimes you'd catch yourself thinking about the woman in the coffee shop, but you tended not to dwell too much on the past. 

You thought about your tumor and all the different ways it was growing inside you. It grossed you out more than anything, but you weren't afraid. At least not now you weren't. 

A heavy sigh slipped from your lips, and the sudden urge to go to the park overtook the need to do anything else. You’d never really visited the park in your area before, so you decided now was the time. 

The beige acoustic guitar rest heavily on your shoulders, similarly to the weight of the world. It was bitter, no taste of sweetness was left over in the aftermath.

Leaves crunched under your feet as you made your way into the park. The smell of pine and bark surrounded you, just as the pinch of cold air that struck your face. It was tranquil.

You marched your way over to a nearby tree secluded from everyone else. Setting your guitar down, you nested cozily against the wood. Your journal rest aside your hip as did the pen that exchanged your thoughts into words.

Humming quietly, your fingertips grazed the instrument’s delicate strings. Music filled the air around you, but it came to a quick stop nearly ten minutes after you’d begun.

"Hey, I know you. Y/N, right?" You heard a familiar accented voice behind you. You turned around to find Wand standing above you. "Uh yeah, that's me. What's up?" She sat down beside you, making you a little uncomfortable, but you figured you could deal with it for the sake of being nice. 

"Nothing. I just saw you and thought I’d say hi. What about you? I see you have your guitar."

“Just singing,” you mumbled quietly.

She smiled and pushed a strand of hair out of your face that was blown in from the wind. "You’re really pretty." You bit your lip and you could feel the heat rise to you face. "Thanks."

"Mhm. So last time I didn't get your number, maybe I will this time?" She asked (although her eyes were begging). You couldn’t help but feel something while she bit her lip, her doe eyes unintentionally focusing on your lips.

"I'll have to give you mine, I didn't bring my phone with me – don’t use it much." You replied. She handed her phone to you and you typed your number in.

"Do you not have family or friends you keep up with?" Her brow quirked in curiosity.

"Parents died, no siblings, and no friends. I don't have many people to worry about."

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have-"

"It's fine, I don't mind." She looked down in her lap before asking another question. "What about a job? Do you work?" Wanda was definitely a curious one, but each question she asked carried you in a way you’d never felt before. It was refreshing to have someone interested in you, and not your disease. 

"Nope, when my parents died they left all their life savings to me. It's plenty enough for me to live on." Your fingers began lightly playing the chords of a song. It was often that you unknowingly played when you were scared or nervous. You'd only realize afterwards. 

"That's good– not that your parents died, but you know, you have money and stuff. Even if it's– oh my god- " 

You cracked out a laugh, causing her to look at you in terror. Noticing this, you rest a hand on her shoulder. "Wanda, it's okay. You're fine, I know what you mean." She nodded shyly and looked up to the sky. 

"Hey, it's sunset! I love sunsets, I used to watch them all the time with my brother back in Sokovia." Her voice wavered at the end of her sentence, and you easily picked up on it.

"Something wrong?" You asked. She laid her head on your lap and you stiffened, but quickly relaxed. This is fine. This is okay. You set your guitar aside and began to play with her hair.

"I miss him. Pietro..." She paused for a second before continuing. "He died a couple of years ago from cancer." You felt your heart drop for the first time at the mention of the horrid disease that stripped you away from most of your life. "Oh." The word seemed to become your go-to for whenever you didn't know how to accept information you were given.

"He was the other half of me. We were twins, I felt like my whole world fell apart. After he died I moved out of my country and moved here. Since then I've made some good friends. You might like them." 

“I’m sorry about your brother. I’m sure he was wonderful, Wanda.” You whispered, bringing a piece of her hair to the end of a braid. “I'm happy you've made some friends." Wanda nodded and snuggled closer in your lap. "Maybe I can be your friend?" You gave it a thought. You weren't sure you could do that to her, not with your illness anyway. Guilt nawed at you already. She’d already lost someone so beloved and close to her from it, how awful you began to feel if you had to put her through that again.

"Y/N?"

You stared at her for a few moments before answering. "I don't know, maybe." She turned over to face you, but you avoided her gaze. "I'm going to figure you out you know." You stifled a laugh, "And you'll be sorry you ever did."

"Whatever."

____

Four months passed and you thought they would be empty, meaningless months, but with Wanda nuzzling her way into your life you began to feel alive for the first time. When she came around it was like a switch you couldn't turn off. 

Right now, you sat at your desk strumming your guitar while watching Nala play with a toy dinosaur you’d bought her just weeks ago. This life was good too, you thought. But it was lonely.

You weren't quite sure what Wanda meant to you yet, but you were slowly discovering that whatever the two of you had, blossomed into something more each second you spent together.

Popping a Vicodin in your mouth, your phone buzzed. It would be no one else but Wanda.

be there in a few, it's urgent. 

Panic set in your body as you worried for the safety of your friend. What could possibly be the matter? Normally Wanda talked about what was bothering her.

A knock at your door brought you out of your gaze and you stumbled to answer it. Wanda was distressed, her hair a mess and her eyes red.

“Whats wro-” You were cut off By Wanda smashing her lips onto yours. 

She pulled back in shock. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry! I-"

You shut her up by pushing her into the wall, door closing behind you. Her lips tasted of strawberry and her hands began to roam your body.

One thing led to another and you both ended up naked on your bed. How amazing it must be to wake up and know that you won’t be dead in the next few months.

"You're good. Almost too good. Where did you learn all that from having no friends?" She smirked at you. You gave her a smile and kissed her again. Your arms wrapped around her nude body and together you felt the utter bliss and excitement radiating from one another.

. . . . 

Three weeks later yoy began to shake. It was hardly noticeable, and it just so happened to occur when you were playing

It’s downhill from here and you know that.

"Can you fix it? Can you fix this?" You yelled at him, despite knowing it was all your fault. If you would've just taken the treatments you wouldn't be in this place. But back then your life had no real meaning, it was just you and your cat.

You hadn't planned on falling in love with someone. 

"There's nothing I can do now. Treatments won't work, it's too far gone. I'm surprised it took this long to start showing symptoms."

For the first time in years, you felt tears beginning to build in your eyes. "You don't understand, I love her and now I'm just going to leave her? This can't be happening, you have to do something!" You pleaded, but the doctor’s eyes were solemn, giving you the only reply you needed. 

You stormed out of the hospital and made your way to Wanda. Silence rang through your ears.

Tell her. You have to tell her.

It will be over.

Sobs wrecked your body as you fumbled with the keys to your shared apartment. The door opened to a sight you wanted to live forever.

There she was, perched on the couch while massaging Napa’s scruffy fur. She was content, happy, and here you were to ruin it.

"Y/N? Baby what's wrong?" She got up from her spot and rushed over to you, worry etched on her face. You clung onto her for more life than you had left. And god, You weren't scared before, but you sure as hell were now. 

"I have terminal cancer."

Wanda froze.

"That's not funny, Y/N. You know how I feel about this topic." Her glare was hasty, burning into your skin.

"I was diagnosed almost five months ago, please Wanda you have to believe me. I have tremors, don't you see?" You raised your hand up to show her, but she slapped it away. "You're making yourself do that, Y/N. Stop joking, or I'm leaving." She crossed her arms

"W-What?" Your chest tightened.

"I said stop joking."

"I'm not joking, Wanda!"

"I'm leaving," She huffed, snatching her jacket before slamming the door shut.

And it was true, she did leave. However, Wanda didn't leave for the reasons she gave you.

She loved you, but she couldn’t handle another loss like this.

. . . . 

During the next two months you experienced the most heartache you'd ever felt before. The combination of vomiting, body aches, and dizziness didn't help. If anything, it made it worse. You missed Wanda. Everything about her gave you a reason to live.

You were on your seventh month and the pain was unbearable. It hurt to reach out for a cup of water, your hands shook uncontrollably all while sending jolts of scorching pain throughout the entirety of your arm.

Undoubtedly, the hospital bed became your next best friend (although it was the worst one you’d ever had. But it somehow managed to weasel its way back in your life).

Wanda was nowhere to be seen, and if anything that only progressed your disease. The only thing that kept you sane was your guitar, and the fact that Nala was being taken care of by a sweet, old nurse (who sometimes snuck her in so you could see her).

It was about the small things now. 

More days passed and each one was getting worse. By now you just wanted to end it all on your own, but you were physically too weak to do that.

There was a knock on your door, but you ignored it thinking it was just another nurse. "Y/N?" The voice was soft, it felt like it'd been years since you last heard it. You turned your head slightly to see Wanda standing in the doorway. A weak smile formed on your face.

"Hey you." 

Wanda quickly dropped her things and ran to your side. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." She mumbled over and over again as you calmly stroked her hair.

"It's okay, you know it is." You whispered in her ear. She looked up at you and shook her head, "But it's not okay, I left you when you needed me the most." You stared at her adoringly and the tips of your fingers gently rubbed away the tears from her face. "But I'm still here, aren't I?" She laughed through her cries, "Yeah... you're still here."

Both of you knew you didn't have much time left, but you ignored that other than the fact that you made her promise to take care of Nala when you were gone. She held your hand and got you everything you needed.

And you love her so deeply for that.

One night you had the feeling that your time was coming soon, so you woke Wanda up from her sleep. "Sweetheart?" She stirred a little before finally sitting up. 

"Yeah?"

"Hand me my guitar?" She tilted her head, "But your shakes?" You ignored her and asked for it again. 

When she handed you your beloved guitar you took it with grace. "Come help me, I wanna play a song." She nodded and came to your side.

Your fingers struggled as they strummed the delicate strings on the instrument. You picked one of Wanda's favorite, and when you were done you spoke lightly.

"My guitar is slightly out of tune, but I'm eternally yours."

[darthkruge]

Hi! I've seen that in your recent post you've been trying to make characters more gender neutral which I think is awesome! I'm gonna try and make my request gender neutral as well! I was wondering if you could do a criminal minds imagine (I'll let you choose the character that you wanna write it for cus I love Morgan, Hotch, and Reid equally) where the reader was taken by the unsub but they found her right before the unsub tried to (tw) k!ll the reader. If possible can the end be kinda fluffy♡

Spencer Reid x Reader ~ Maybe

Summary: The classic kidnapping fic where the reader is taken by the unsub and Spencer finds them. Fluffy, comfort-filled ending <3

Warnings: Angst, language, violence, blood, guns, knives, torture, near-death experience, kidnapping in general, (happy ending I promise)

Words: 2.2k

A/N: Hey!! I’m so sorry, please don’t hate me for taking so long to get to this!! And thank you for making your request gender neutral, too! That’s so thoughtful and sweet! And I decided to go with Spencer, although I also love them all. And yes the end will definitely be fluffy, as the angst with a happy/fluffy ending is basically my brand at this part. Thank you for requesting and, again, I’m so sorry for making you wait, I hope you like this!

You woke up and could only register pain. Well, pain and cold. Mind numbing, cuts to your bones, pierces your brain, cold. You tried to look around and get a sense of your surroundings but it was so dark; you could barely make out the shadows in the room, let alone any defining details.  

Judging by the old, dirty smell, you guessed you were in a barn or shed somewhere. You had no idea where; the asshole must have knocked you out. You’d been working the case for weeks. The team thought they found some DNA and were tailing the guy, but it didn’t pan out and, since then, the trail had basically been cold. But then you finally figured out what number to trace, cracked his encoded router, and got a license plate and ID. George Craig. On your way to tell the team, he had messed with your car and was able to jump you. Fuck, you hated him. 

Even so, you refused to give up. You had faith in your team and, most of all, you had faith in Spencer. Your brilliant, gorgeous boyfriend. You loved him more than anything and there was no one in the world you’d want on the case more than him. You knew the team was already looking for you, as it was only 10am when he got you and it was probably at least 7pm now, judging by the temperature and darkness. 

You tried to move your arms but your shoulders screamed in protest. You felt the chains around your legs and the handcuffs binding you to a pole above you. Judging from the pain, your shoulder was almost definitely dislocated. You were sitting at an awkward angle and could already feel your joints tightening. The frigid air definitely wasn’t helping, making your muscles contract and body stiff. 

“Hello, Agent L/N”

Your entire body stilled at that moment, sheer panic running through your veins. Stay calm, Y/N, stay calm. You tried to will air into your lungs, forcing deep breaths even though the terror was screaming at you to close up. You knew this man fed on fear and, thus, your best chance of survival was to pretend you were unphased. Even so, the logic felt severely discomforting with him standing above you, knife and gun in hand. 

“George. What the fuck do you want from me?” Your voice was venomous, the pure hate for him clearly pictured on your face. You decided that if an emotion was going to show, you preferred hate to fear. 

“My, my, my, look at you! I thought you were supposed to be smart. Or is that trait left for your boyfriend. Agent Reid, was it?”

Your blood ran cold. “Leave him out of this.”

“Ohhh, looks like I’ve hit a nerve, haven’t I?” The man had a horrifying smirk on his face, clearly enjoying your struggle. 

You glared at him. “You never answered my question”

“Oh, yes!” George chuckled, “What the fuck do you want from me?” He said, mimicking your voice mockingly. “To kill you, of course. To take you away from Spencer, from the team. To make them feel the pain of losing someone, just like I lost-” 

He trailed off and you saw his eyes burn with anger. And under that anger, you knew there was pain. Even so, you couldn’t feel bad for this man, regardless of who he’d lost. You knew that at the slightest hint of your empathy, he’d take advantage of it and kill you on the spot. 

“You know what? Death would be too easy for you. By the time I’m done with you, you’ll be begging me to put you out of your misery. Then, and only then, will I shoot you. I will watch the blood run out of the bullet hole and smile, knowing the pain I caused you and your precious team.”

You wanted to cry, the fear pulling at you. Once again, you pushed it down and channeled your rage. Rage because you were in this situation. Rage because this man had ended so many lives. Rage because you were powerless right now. Rage because holy fuck your shoulder hurt. Gathering the fury, you spat at him. 

George’s mouth twisted into a sneer as he brought his leg up and slammed it into your chest. You heaved, the wind knocked out of you. Before you could grasp the air you so desperately needed, George kicked you again. And again. And again. You could feel the bruises forming, your ribs throbbing painfully.

He pulled his fist up and pummeled it into your cheek. Your left cheekbone busted open on impact and your lip split as he backhanded the other side of your face. He slammed the butt of his gun into your temple and your vision swayed, body crumpling as far in on itself as it could, given the restraints. 

He kicked at your legs repeatedly, both of them twisting at painful angles. You felt yourself start to black out, the pain unbearable. Every inch of your skin was ablaze, every muscle felt like it had been sledgehammered. Your bones ached, your body numb from his onslaught, the freezing cold, and the restrictive bonds you’d been in for hours. 

Finally, he took a moment to stop. He looked at you, at your barely conscious and recognizable state. You were beaten to a pulp, your face and body bloodied and broken. You could feel yourself wanting to give in but forced yourself to stay. For yourself, for Spencer, for the team. For that future you always talked about with him. For the house you were saving for, for the dogs and cats and animals you might one day get. For the family you might decide to have. For the idea of peace, you fought. 

George picked up the gun and pointed it at your head. A shot rang free and you braced yourself, a single tear running down your cheek as you realized you would never see your love again. Your ears rang and you felt like time had slowed. You knew the bullet would hit you. Until-

“Y/N, Y/N!” Your name was being called, the gentle yet panicked voice cutting through the ringing in your head. You tentatively opened your eyes and saw George’s body on the floor, blood oozing out of him. You slowly moved your eyes around, trying to take in your surroundings. 

Everything was overwhelming. Nothing was registering properly in your brain. It was just sounds filtering in an out, vision flickering. You felt like you were floating through the ringing in your ears. Tears ran down your cheeks as you shook. You didn’t know why you were shaking. The cold. The shock, you reasoned. Both seemed likely. It was like there was an overwhelming sense of calm. Your body was shutting down. Somehow, this gave you understanding. 

You felt the handcuffs around your wrists release and your arms dropped limply. You knew you should feel pain from your dislocated shoulder but, instead, you just let your eyes closed and felt your body fall. The last thing you remembered was coming into contact with a Kevlar vest, messy brown hair, and a familiar sense of warmth. 

When you awoke, you felt yourself being gently jostled. Your eyes slowly opened and you took in him. Spencer was looking at you, concern evident on his features.

“Hi.” You said, voice hoarse. 

“Hi, angel. Let’s get you inside, alright?”

You nodded, allowing him to help support your weight as you stepped out of the car. You leaned heavily into him, your legs badly injured. Spencer wrapped his arm snug around your waist as the two of you slowly but surely made it into your shared apartment. 

He helped you sit on the couch before moving to join you. 

“I’m surprised they let you take me home. I thought I’d wake up in a hospital, for sure.”

“They did take you there, love. You were at the hospital for a few hours but you were in and out of consciousness. You’ll heal, don’t worry. A few broken ribs, dislocated shoulder, severe bruising, sprains on your legs and ankles.”

“Plus a busted face” You add drily.

 Spencer wasn’t amused by your attempt at sarcasm. Instead, he just pushed your hair behind your ear and leaned in, pressing a kiss to your forehead. 

“I’m so sorry, Y/N. I should have gotten there sooner, I should have been with you! If I was there, if I was quicker-”

“Spencer, please don’t blame yourself for this! No one could have known. Besides, you saved me. And I’m not just talking about that in the literal sense. When he was beating me, when I was broken down, I thought of you.  I thought of our future, our dream. Holding onto that is the only reason I didn’t give up.”

Spencer’s eyes were filled with tears as he went to gently cup your face. He couldn’t find the words to express the love and relief he felt. “I’m just glad you’re back in my arms” 

You moved to hug him but winced. Even though the doctors had patched you up pretty well, the soreness and pain lingered and probably would continue like that for at least the next couple of days. 

“Hey, it’s alright. Let’s go to bed. I think you’ll feel better once you lay down, yeah?”

“Yeah, okay.” You followed him into the room, holding his hand the entire time. Spencer noticed but didn’t mind, he knew you were just looking for comfort, exceedingly normal for what you’d just gone through. 

You laid down, settling against the pillows and fluffy blankets Spencer had prepared for you. 

“Do you need anything, baby?”

“Water?”

“Of course.” He smiled at you before moving to get up but you quickly grabbed his hand, panic overtaking you at the thought of being alone. You looked at him helplessly, hoping your gaze would convey the words that died on your tongue. 

Spencer nodded knowingly. He helped you out of bed, pulling you along with him as the two of you went to the kitchen. He wordlessly got you the drink, making sure to keep touching you the entire way. Finally, you made it back and the both of you crawled into bed. You laid on your uninjured shoulder, placing your cheek on Spencer’s chest. His arm came around you, holding you to him and drawing soothing circles into your skin. 

You closed your eyes and were immediately sent back to the shed. You tensed, pulling back. Spencer caught on and looked deeply into your eyes. “You’re safe now, Y/N. He can’t get to you anymore.”

“I know. Rationally, I know. But my brain won’t shut off. It’s like, whenever I’m not actively thinking about something else or looking at something else or hearing something else, it just comes back. Spence, I can’t- I can’t sleep. I just, I’m sure it’ll come back to me tonight.” Your voice broke, tears spilling onto your cheeks. “I don’t think I can handle reliving it and I’m so fucking exhausted. But I can’t rest because I can’t escape the nightmares.”

Spencer wanted so badly to comfort you but didn’t know what he could do. As much as he wanted to, he couldn’t take the pain away. He wished he could put the trauma onto himself but, unfortunately, he was powerless. Thus, he offered understanding. He gave validation. He gave kindness and pure, nonjudgmental love. 

“I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m here for you and I know that doesn’t do much right now but I am. I’ll be here when the nightmares come and I’ll be here when the flashbacks try and drag you under. I’ll be here when the trauma starts to fade but suddenly reappears and I’ll be here 20 years from now, when the memory will still be real and painful but not all-consuming. I’ll be here forever, I’ll be here always. Please, tell me what to do to help you.” Spencer begged, hoping beyond all hope that there was something he could do to ease your suffering.

“Read to me?”

“Wha- what?”

“Read to me.” You repeated, more assured this time. “I’m thinking that if I can hear your voice, maybe it’ll drown out my brain. Or something. I don’t know. I just want to hear your voice, it’s soothing. Please?”

Spencer was taken aback. He didn’t think something so simple could help you. He didn’t know his sheer presence brought you that much serenity. “Yeah, of course. Of course! Yeah, any preference?”

“Not really. Whatever’s here?”

“Okay, love.” Spencer picked up his current read and began in the middle. You felt the rumble of his chest, the vibrations of his voice and felt more at ease. The anxiety was still there, the panic never far away. And yet, curled into him, his breath tickling your ear, his body warming yours, it suddenly felt alright. Like maybe you hadn’t gone through some life-altering trauma. Or maybe you had but your life wasn’t over because of it. Maybe you’d heal. Maybe, if you could find a moment of peace now, you’d find more later. Maybe? Yeah, You thought. You could work with maybe.

--

i just made a taglist so if you want to join, go ahead!

tags: 

@saltybreaddream

[mellometal]

Hey, everyone.

I've tried to compose myself before making this post. This is a subject that I've touched on a little bit in posts, but I've never done a deep dive into JUST this topic. I was going to make a post solely about this subject sooner, but this one in particular is really hard for me to talk about without getting emotional...and yet Dhar Mann has talked about this on quite a few occasions in the most insincere, toxic ways. I'll do my best to discuss this topic without getting too emotional.

It's about a serious subject that people still are ignorant about and don't take seriously. Even to this day, with the body positivity and body neutrality movements. (I don't know of a better way to describe just being neutral about your body. Sorry if it sounds weird.)

For anyone who doesn't know what I'm referring to (honestly, I don't blame you, as this is a subject that's often seen as normal and is encouraged in society for the most part), I'm talking about fatphobia. Hating on people for being fat. Discriminating people because of their weight in the workplace, at the doctor's office, just in general. Not many stores having inclusive sizes. People being treated like they're subhuman because they're fat.

I want to say this first, before I bash on Dhar Mann again: I'm a plus-size young woman. This is something that I have personal experience with. Your weight has no significance to your worth as a person. If you do happen to be overweight, obese, whatever, you're not subhuman. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. You're worthy of being loved, listened to, treated with kindness, and respected, just like anyone else who isn't fat.

If you treat people like utter shit for their weight, get some help. Why do you care about somebody else's weight? Obviously there's an exception to this, like if they're so big they can't move or they're so skinny their organs are showing....because those are causes for concern, but other than that, mind your own business. Even if they are in those extremities, unless you're their doctor and/or their family, STILL mind your own business. How the fuck does a fat person simply breathing and existing affect you in any way? News flash: there will always be fat people.

Before I get to the weekly ritual of tearing TWO of Dhar Mann's videos apart (the next one will be in another post or I'll reblog this post and continue on there), here's an obligatory trigger warning for the video analysis itself and my response: The following post contains fatphobia, fat shaming, a man being super fucking misogynistic and treating women like they're objects, and there's even a touch of some racial aggression. How shocking. Because Dhar Mann really seems to get a kick out of writing about racism to make it all cute. Oh yeah, you're totally solving racism, Dhar Mann. /s

My response contains my experience with fatphobia, relationships with food, mentioned/implied thoughts of s3lf h@rm, feeling like I'm unworthy of being treated like an actual person because of my weight, and absolute rage. Like usual. My responses are very heated. This one especially. It's LONG. Buckle up.

With all this out of the way, let's get to the first video that I want to tear apart. This one is about the auditions for a record deal. I will get to the video about a kid wanting to be a host of a radio show later.

To sum up the first video, a plus-size white woman (Krissy Elliot) is singing for an agent (Isaac) and his assistant (Evette) so she can follow her dream to become a singer. Isaac cuts Krissy off to viciously bash her for being a plus-size woman. Evette stands up for this woman, and says she sounded fine and to let her finish. Isaac doesn't listen to Evette, let alone take what she said into consideration. He continues to ridicule Krissy for her appearance, that she'll "never make it in the music industry" (WRONG, do you know how many plus-size people are in the fucking music industry? There are A LOT more now than when I was growing up and it honestly makes me so happy. There were more plus-size people in the entertainment industry than in the music industry back then.), suggested that she "become a chef or a food critic" because she apparently loves being around food (being a chef or a food critic are noble professions, but NEVER fucking assume ANYONE'S relationships with food), to the point where Krissy left the room in tears.

Here are a few screenshots for context:

When this skinny, conventionally attractive woman (Jesse) comes in, Isaac's mood does a COMPLETE 180° and he's all sunshine and rainbows. Then right as soon as Jesse did her audition, Isaac is over the fucking moon, complimenting her physical appearance, treating her like an object, and signs her up for a record deal RIGHT AWAY. Pay attention to Isaac's facial expressions in one of these screenshots.

Evette suggests that they sign Krissy for a record deal instead. Because she was "the best singer they've had all day". Isaac, still all hot and bothered by a skinny, conventionally attractive woman that he's treating like an object, tells Evette that people like Krissy don't make it in the music industry because they're "overweight and unattractive", and is verbally aggressive towards her when she does nothing but explain her stance. Isaac sees this as Evette "talking back" (remember how I mentioned that there's racial aggression? He says that Evette is "talking back" because she happens to be a black woman) and fires her. He signs Jesse a record deal and has a blast with her.

The award ceremony comes around, and they're picking a winner for Best New Artist. They pick the winner, and it's....guess what? You'll never get it! It's Krissy Elliot! Why? Because Evette became her agent after Isaac fired her. Krissy goes into her whole story about how she was laughed out of every single agency and that she worked hard. Good for her. Jesse is obviously very happy for Krissy. We gotta love women supporting women.

This video was again another dumpster fire. As usual. Like I said, with this video in particular, I couldn't get through the first thirty seconds the first time around. Because I've dealt with shit like this. Obviously not with the music industry because I don't even think I'd be good enough to step into an agency...but I mean in my personal life.

Being told by my own dad that he was "tired of buying bigger clothes for me" when I was a young teenager, despite him buying almost nothing but "junk food".

Having my abuser make comments about my weight and talking about diets while I'm trying to eat my food, despite her being overweight.

Having someone I know (not anyone I'm friends with) make a comment about me eating a few things (ONE small piece of broccoli, two baby carrots, a small handful of chips, and ONE small piece of pineapple) and said to "save some for everyone else", even though I was saving food for everyone else, which is why I took so little. She tried to justify it with the fact nobody was there yet (why do you think I took very little food?), and she "was saying that to everyone" (why did she look at ME when she said that instead of making it clear that she was talking to everyone [saying "Hey, everyone" before the comment about saving some for everyone else IS NOT HARD]?), even though I know it was just to save her own ass. I knew she said that to me because I'm plus-size. She didn't say anything to anyone else, nor did she make it clear that she was talking to everyone.

Another person I know (not a person I'm friends with) saying that I overreacted (I did not overreact; SOMEONE TRIGGERED ME and you did NOTHING about it) even though they all KNEW my relationship with food is complicated. They KNEW that I don't really like eating in front of other people. I was upset that someone MADE A FUCKING DISGUSTING, TRIGGERING COMMENT ABOUT ME EATING VERY FEW FOOD ITEMS, ALMOST ALL WERE HEALTHY, DESPITE OTHER PEOPLE EATING A LOT MORE THAN I DID AND PICKING AT EVERYTHING. That day, I was begging one of my friends (one of the people I trust to eat around) to PLEASE take me home because I didn't want to be there (never wanted to be there in the first place), I was tired (I worked all night the night before and was forced to go to a meeting before all this happened), I didn't feel comfortable there anymore, there were way too many people (four individuals plus all their staff from another house were in the house I work in), I couldn't breathe (I was either about to pass out, have a panic attack, or just start crying), but nobody listened to me. I ended up getting a bus to go home.

(Sorry about all that. I was trying not to get emotional in this post. I just needed to share how this can affect people.)

Onto my response, which is all in the screenshots below.

ETA: I know the screenshots for my response are very jumbled right now and it’s difficult to read. I apologize to anyone who’s unable to fully read it! Because this is part one of this whole subject of fatphobia (I’m making a post about the boy wanting to become a radio host very soon), my response here will tie into that post. My response to that video is vastly the same, despite not making a comment on that video as of right now (the radio host one). 

I’ll be typing out my full response here. I apologize for weird formatting. Instagram wouldn’t let me break up my response into paragraphs. I’ll break them up into paragraphs here instead.

CC (Combination of the first, second, and third screenshots, aka, the first part of my response):

 I have a few questions before I get into my thoughts on this video. One, how the hell does your weight have any significance on your worth as a person, and if you do think this way, why would you think that? Two, do you know that fatphobia is a lot more than just judging a person for being fat? Three, why do you feel like you can speak for fat people like myself with this piss poor excuse for a video that I could barely get through the first thirty seconds of the first time? 

You can’t speak for any of us. I can’t speak for every fat person because not everyone has the same experiences as me. 

I’ve been bullied for my weight in real life as well as online. People have called me ugly just because of my weight. By the way, your weight doesn’t equal beauty, and that’s what I’m still learning. Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. 

On quite a few occasions, I have actually thought about doing dangerous things to my body that I don’t feel comfortable going into here. All because I had people try to boil me down to my weight, call me ugly, and destroy whatever self-esteem I had left. You don’t know what fat people go through, so don’t act like you do. 

There are many factors that go into why a person may be fat, including medical conditions, mental illness, trauma, genetics, etc. All of those things are none of your business unless those people decide to be open about it. 

No, it’s not always healthy to be fat (obviously there are extremities on both sides of the spectrum of weight that are extremely unhealthy), but it doesn’t make a person any less of a human being. Fat people are human too. Quit treating us like we’re not. We deserve to be treated like everyone else who isn’t fat. I’m not saying put all fat people on a pedestal. I’m saying treat us like human beings.

CC (Combination of the fourth, fifth, sixth, and seventh screenshots, aka, the second part of my response):

Remember how I said that fatphobia isn’t just about judging people for being fat? Well, there’s the “fat tax” on plus-size clothing (even though it maybe only costs a little bit more in fabric, if there’s any difference in making clothes for people who aren’t fat), limited styles for fat people in stores (making a lot of us have to buy fast fashion or have to spend a fortune on clothes that actually flatter us), not very many stores have inclusive sizes still (if you don’t at least carry max 5XL or a size 38/40 in pants size, you cannot call yourself inclusive), and a lot of other things.

Many fat people, myself included, are afraid to seek medical attention for anything (even checkups) because of doctors who only focus on our weight and not on what we came in to see them for. They write it off as if our weight is the sole cause of our problems, which isn’t always the case.

How about we talk about how expensive it is to eat healthy in a lot of places? Not everyone can afford to make fresh meals every day, let alone once a week. Maybe they were never taught how to due to their upbringing. You don’t know.

I’ve had people comment on my weight, what I’m eating (even if I’m eating something healthy like fruits and veggies), talk about my weight or diets EVEN WHILE I’M TRYING TO EAT, and it’s caused me to wait until I’m alone or around someone I trust to eat anything. As a result, I have a complicated relationship with food now.

Telling someone they’re fat doesn’t help them. They know that. They see themselves every day. People may want to change, but they either are afraid to ask for help, or they don’t know where to start. Some may not want to change. It’s up to them, honestly. If you want to help them lose weight, maybe suggest any physical activity they’d have fun doing and do them with them? I dance for fun. Also, you could help set up meal plans with them. 

If you’re not going to at least try to help them lose weight if you’re so concerned about them (this is all if they actually want to change things and don’t know where to start), I cannot say this in a sweeter way: shut your mouth and mind your own business. Because you’re just being a cunt at that point.

CC (eighth screenshot, aka, the third and final part to my response):

There are quite a few plus-size people in the entertainment industry as a whole who are/were very successful. Remember the late Chris Farley and Aretha Franklin? Chris Farley was big, but that didn’t change how great of an actor he was, how funny he was, or how much of an impact he made in the entertainment industry. Aretha Franklin was a plus-size black woman in the music industry, but she’s inspired SO MANY artists we have today! There are many plus-size men, women, and I believe even nonbinary people in the public eye in general. Like I’ve said, beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. That’s why the body positivity and body neutrality movements are a thing.

(I know I implied that I thought about sh here in my response, but please don't worry about me as far as that goes. I'm fine now. I would never go through with anything like that.)

In the last part of my response where I mentioned some plus-size people in the entertainment industry as well as the music industry (the late Chris Farley and the late Aretha Franklin), I was going to name more people, but my comments were getting too long. I'll name some more here off the top of my head:

Lizzo (rapper), the Piggy Dolls (the first K-Pop girl group made up of actual plus-size women), K*v*n Sp*c*y (I don't feel comfortable saying his name because he's a disgusting person, but he's another plus-size man...he was in King of Queens and in A LOT of movies), PSY, Greyson Gritt (a genderqueer person in the music industry), Elle King, Produce Pandas (the first music group in China full of plus-size men), Martha Wash, Chubby Checker, Fats Domino, Big Angel (a J-Pop group of all plus-size women), Chubbiness (another J-Pop group of all plus-size women), Pottya (another J-Pop group of all plus-size women)...there are so many that I found, but if you want to add more plus-size artists, plus-size actors, plus-size comedians/comediennes, feel free to add them in the comments!

Dhar Mann, you'll never know what plus-size people go through. You don't know what we go through. You have NO IDEA what we go through on a daily basis. Stop acting like you do. Because you don't, and you never will.

By the way, Dhar Mann, this will NOT be the last post I'll make about you or your videos. The more you make fucking deplorable, poorly written bullshit, the more posts I'll make! Teehee!

If you got this far, thank you so much. The next part of this is coming very soon. I'm sorry for not posting too many screenshots from the video. I wanted to fit in my response because it's important for people to see.

Have a good day/afternoon/night, y'all. Love you!

[emachinescat]

I've decided to watch MacGyver from the beginning (again), and I'm live tweeting the experience with every tweet tagged with #savemacgyver. I thought it would be fun to share my collected thoughts from the episodes on here as well.

My Thoughts on S1E2, "Metal Saw"

Seriously love the music in this show!

THE FREAKING BELT GRAB. You can tell they've done this kind of thing before.

I always love it when Jack and Mac have heart-to-hearts in the middle of super intense, dangerous situations. Like... it's sweet, but time and place, guys?

"Hi, I'm Jack." Nervous Jack is bebby.

Ew, sweat. Like, I know it's "realism" to have sweat stains on clothes in situations like these, but that's one bit of realism I can always do without. Gross.

Is that a bit of PTSD I'm seeing with Mac there on the couch? That's a kind of realism I can always get behind.

Riley finding Mac and Boze in that compromising position will never not be funny. "But he was on top." I love Riley more every episode.

Riley is a really good liar from day one.

I love the joke about ex-cons benefiting from being in relationships with stable people (i.e., fake boyfriend Bozer), then the immediate cut to Bozer with his whole arm inside the vending machine. Great stuff.

Love the Riley and Bozer bonding... right up until the cringe-tastic "Slide me your digits."

"Soon, I'm gonna woo you the same way Romeo would have wooed Juliet if they had Snapchat back in the Renaissance." Bozer and his surprisingly accurate pickup lines. The Renaissance did in fact start in Italy around the 14th century, when R&J is thought to take place.

I love all this psychoanalyzing of Mac. "Adapting is his survival mechanism." Also I'm living for Jack sticking up for Mac to Patti.

"This place has been searched by everybody and their dog." Is this a Texas thing or an old guy saying? Either way it's great.

Nothing beats the early days of Mac and Jack. Nothing. I wish we had gotten more interactions where Jack has to parent Mac: "Stop touching that. Look at me." ❤️❤️❤️

Jack so concerned about Mac and putting on the kid gloves = everything I could have ever asked for and more.

Jack has such a big heart. Poor guy, the look on his face when he sees that the reporter is actually Sarah...

Paperclip sculptures: When I first started watching the show, I thought they were lame. Now I miss them so much. Does that mean I've gotten lamer or that they were always cool and I was always lame?

"Closest time I ever came to coming home in a box." Oof. This line hits different now, and not in a good way.

I just love how Jack is this big tough ex-Delta who is so open about his emotions, particularly with Mac. And the way Mac reassures him... Their bromance is top-tier.

"Oh, like when they invented fire!" Another zinger.

Mac grabbing that giant cigar right out of that dude's mouth 😂😂😂

Love some good fight-scene Mac whump! 👏👏👏 And bar fights are always a blast!

Riley with the car door - such a boss. "What? You told me to stay in the car, and I did."

I've seen some people say they don't like S1 Mac's hair. I kind of dig it, to be honest. He looks like he's 5, but I love it.

Mac has made a lot of DIY cutting torches in his time, but they never get less impressive.

Jack trusting Mac to save Sarah while he keeps watch is just *chef's kiss*!

These early episodes have so many MacGyverisms. One right after the other. It's awesome.

I've never been a big fan of the dark either, Mac.

The first scene with Mac and Sarah is so beautifully tense and whumpy (he way he scrabbles for purchase, gasps for breath, that hitch in his voice as he tries to squeak out Jack's name) that I had to rewind and watch it again.

The hopeful disbelief in her voice: "Jack Dalton came for me?"

Sarah can kick some serious ass. I can see why Jack likes her. Too bad she's about to lead him on the rest of the episode, while actually having a fiance...

Sarah: *leans out of car, shooting her weapon with deadly, terrifying precision* Riley: I agree, this woman should not have kids. 😂 Everything that comes out of Riley's mouth is gold.

Riley asleep in the back of the car while Mac sits quietly and Jack and Sarah have a sweet moment is like mom and dad with the kids in the backseat. Except mom has a fiance and hasn't told dad yet, even though she's had ample opportunity.

Because seriously, Sarah. It's not that hard to tell him the truth. Giving him those big eyes and flirting with him, thinking he has a chance is just cruel. I have never liked her character, and this is why.

Mac and Jack giggling about Jack's crush on Sarah like middle-school girls is life.

"You're just gonna have to let that go." Man, I love their relationship.

Gosh, the scene where they find Luis always hurts so badly. These early episodes did not play around.

"There isn't always time to beg some suit back home for permission to do what's right." I'm not a fan of Sarah, but I love this line. Also, this is pretty much the synopsis of the whole show.

Riley's hair used to be so LONG! 😍

The loyalty of these three! And I love the OG trio so much.

This sleazy guy in the computer place makes my skin crawl.

Love how Patti's like, "Mac will be back by then." Not Jack, not Riley. Just Mac. Can we say teacher's pet? I actually lowkey love this though.

"Who is this guy?" Much like Doctor Who's "It's bigger on the inside," I never get tired of people being equally amazed and confused at the stuff Mac can do.

I've never been the biggest car chase junkie, but Barrios jumping over the car using that log in the road is pretty dope.

Sarah's rage is chilling. And Jack talking her down breaks me every time.

Again, I love the loyalty of our team. Everyone sticks up for each other, ending with Mac's totally unbelievable but still somehow 100% genuine "It was me. I forced them." TOO good.

First mention of Oversight this early. Just thinking about who it is that doesn't like unsanctioned ops just makes me 😤 I wonder if the writers knew who OS was at this point or if it was a later development.

I do wish we could have gotten more conspiratorial, approving Patti. She's so much better than expressionless, bland Patti.

The way Sarah never told Jack about her fiance Jeff (who is in fact a cinnamon roll but still a discount Jack) pisses me off. "I tried to tell you." Yeah, right. It's not that hard to say, "Yo, I'm in a relationship."

Jack NEVER should have found out about Jeff the way he did. There's no excuse.

It's not okay, Jack. She did you wrong. You didn't deserve that. Stand up for yourself, man. Gosh, he's so broken here, and I hate it.

"At least we have each other... Don't look at me. I know how weird it sounded." THESE TWO I SWEAR 🤣🤣🤣

Poor Mac. I do love how we get his obsessive tendencies so early in the show, and how they keep coming back, even as late as season 5. As someone with clinically diagnosed OCD, this makes me feel seen and I love being able to relate to my favorite character.

Love the found family antics at the end. Riley and Bozer making dinner while Mac and Jack play basketball? Perfection.

Lol, Bozer calling Riley a "caramel goddess" has such Schmidt/Cece vibes from New Girl, and I dig it!

Ew. More sweat. I know some people find sweaty men attractive, but that is NOT my vibe. I prefer my men clean and freshly laundered.

The way Riley glances back over her shoulder at them as she walks away, as if to make sure they're really there, that this is actually real!!!

"That's not even... that's true, actually. That's sad." Jack 🤣 Also, "I'm hungry." Big mood.

As a Grandpa Harry stan from the OG show, I eat up any mention of him in the new one. I just wish we'd gotten more of that wonderful man in the reboot. Still, I'll take what I can get!

I'd honestly forgotten how much I enjoy this episode! So solid, full of bromance, found family, and lots of good-natured bickering. Can't wait to watch the next one, hopefully tomorrow! In the meantime, please keep fighting for our show! Together we can #savemacgyver!

If anyone wants to join me in my re-watching and tweeting adventure, please do! It's my way to take about an hour a day in my busy, busy life to commit to the #savemacgyver movement. (And to enjoy my favorite show yet again!) If you do tweet as you watch, make sure to tag EVERY tweet with ONLY #savemacgyver so we can keep that hashtag trending! :)

Thanks for letting me share my (numerous) thoughts on this episode. This was really fun, and I hope it's something you all enjoy, too. I'd love to know what you all think of the episode in the comments! ❤️

[enormous-moose]

I've been writing a book of bed time stories that I'll be telling my children. So with this I present a creative Retelling of Snow White. I'm using public domain stories because I can. Be prepared for many more of these.

Snow White Part 1:

Once upon a time there lived a beautiful queen. She was a popular ruler, one who loved her husband deeply. All loved her and the happiness she brought to the kingdom.

While she couldn't have been happier with her life there was one thing she desired: a child. She hoped and begged to the night sky to bless her with a child, one that could rule with as much love and care as herself. If she could bring this one final happiness to the king and his land her life would be truly complete. She promised to the sky and any that could hear, "let me have a child and I would gladly give my life."

Each passing year her desperation fell on silent ears, that is until one day things changed. She was sitting at her table sewing a blanket for the king when she pricked her finger on a needle. As she inspected her wound three drops of blood spilled to the floor. It was at that point she knew the sign.

Quickly she called for the doctors and they confirmed a bitter sweet blessing. She was finally with child, but her heart and worry came back to her promise.

As the months dragged on she felt her strength weakening and she knew her agreement was being honored. She'd never know this child, but not wanting to spoil the king's joy she decided to keep it a secret.

When the child came into the world it was during the worst snow storm the kingdom had ever seen looking out her window the Queen saw nothing but a pure snow white landscape and upon holding her daughter for the first time she smiled. Cradling her close the queen whispered as tears rolled down her cheeks, "My darling Snow White. You will be the fairest of them all. You will know love and give it uncompared."

That night the queen passed in her sleep surrounded by her family she always desired.

The king mourned for many years his wife's passing. Every day he watched his daughter grow into a wonderful young lady breathing a new life into the kingdom.

While everything was perfect for them on the outskirts of the kingdom a terrible force was gaining ground. Evil creatures plagued the land and the king was forced to send a large army to defend the boarder. Unfortunately they failed and with little choice left the king sought a treaty with a neighboring land.

This land wasn't as prosperous, but what they locked in funds they more than made up for in man power. This land was gifted with much magic that the ruler agreed to share should the king agree to marry his eldest daughter.

Facing few options and with an enemy advancing closer to his castle the king agreed.

This new queen, while beautiful and powerful was a Stark contrast to the previous queen. She ruled with an iron fist using magic to solve her problems. Any disagreement she faced was quickly squashed. Many kept their concerns from the king since this new queen had saved everyone, but it was clear the atmosphere of the kingdom diminished.

Snow White on the other hand had nothing but love for her step mother. She played everyday in her presence. It was at those moments when the queen was at her kindest. Snow White, it would seem had a special magic of her own.

While she did love seeing Snow White every day when the sun started to set she hurriedly rushed the girl from the room. This was the time the queen needed to herself.

Quickly, she undressed removing her robes and placing them on her bed with much care. She stood as the first light of the moon came through the window creating a magical mirror on the wall. Taking a few deep breaths she calming chanted the same words every night, "magic mirror on the wall. Who is the fairest of them all?"

As the moon shined dancing light reflected back an answer that gave the queen pleasure, "though many maidens possess beauty, you my lady are the fairest one of all."

Every night she repeated this ritual until one night things changed. Snow White had grown into a young woman now, and was attracting many suitors already and it would appear magic was not immune to her.

"Magic mirror on the wall, tell me who is the fairest of them all?"

Echoing back the mirror finally had responded with an answer the queen did not expect, "My queen is fair enough for thee, but Snow White is the fairest I have seen."

Wrath fueled the queen as she hurtled a magical orb at the wall causing it to shake the castle. The king in a fit of worry rushed to his queen's side. As he swung open the door the queen hurled another orb hitting him in the heart causing the king to collapse.

The queen called for the guards who rushed him to the infirmary. There they pronounced the king dead. Snow White weeped for many nights as she had to bury her father. Many offered her their condolences, but the queen was nowhere to be seen.

As the queen stood in her room she vowed revenge. She never loved the king, but this aggression against her by Snow White could not go unchecked. She called for her huntsman giving him a plan to take care of this child once and for all.

Under the queens direction Snow White took a moment to collect herself in the woods. Long walks with the guards was an activity she used to enjoy before her father passed so she didn't think anything nefarious could be happening.

The huntsman disguised himself as a guard and took Snow White deep into the woods, farther than she had ever gone before. As they tested by the lake Snow White combed her hair staring at her reflection in the pool.

A shadow cast over her as the huntsman crept up behind her raising his knife and causing her to turn around with a shock.

"turn away young princess." The huntsman ordered.

"kill me if you just, but I will look at the face of my attacker."

Studying her face the huntsman's grip on the knife loosened. She was just a young woman, he knew her smile had brought so much happiness and now he wondered how could the queen have asked this of him? What's worse is who would he send after her when he came back having failed "I can't do it." He sighed dropping his knife.

With her guard lowered slightly, Snow White inched slightly closer to him, "What caused you to try?"

"the queen," he confessed, "she asked for your heart. Please you must run, she will come for you."

"My step mother?" How could this be, she wondered. The queen had been so kind to her. She had played with her nearly every day. "Surely you are mistaken." If she could just get back to the castle she knew the queen would confirm this man was just mad.

"please run." He yelled again, "hide in the forest. I will come back for you once I know the queen qi no longer search for you."

Snow White's feet refused to move. This was clearly an error.

"RUN!" He screamed picking the knife up once more. "Run!"