#i've never gotten much use out of that tag so you BET i'm using it now

[torchickentacos]

i love seeing your long tags they make me so happy. and YOU SHOULD DO THE ALBUMS THING. IF NOBODY ELSE GOT YOU I GOT YOU. GIVE DREW HIS REPUTATION ERA

THANK YOU SOSOSO MUCH!!! I'm so glad people like my tags, sometimes I worry I'm too long-winded, or that I get too off-topic, so it's nice hearing that people like my train of thoughts! ALSO THE ALBUM THING!!!!! I WILL!!! IN FACT I SHALL DO IT RIGHT HERE! under the cut! talking abt taylor swift songs and lyrics and blorbos, if that's not your vibe feel free to scroll <3 /genuine, not sarcastic or shady or anything!!! I'll just see you around later, blondie isn't for everyone! So, pokeani specific characters as taylor swift eras/albums! Long. Like, really long even for me, this is just a pure infodump. Reblogs/comments with further discussion ENCOURAGED!!!!! I love talking to you guys lol, feel free to open this to your own favorite artists too. Kind of a random selection of characters.

OKAY LET'S GO!!! First off, I think that Dawn has always had a 1989 vibe to me. 1989 is sonically one of my lesser favorites honestly, but I think it's intriguing because it's this super poppy, mainstream hit after hit album but it's also just so deeply... unsure, in some ways. You've got shake it off and blank space, pop hits but also hits that are very acutely self-deprecating in the way that they try to come off as unbothered. It's parody but at her own expense, making fun of her own image and portrayal. Dawn is very bright and cheery but is also this very self-unsure, nervous individual in my interpretation of her and I think that parallels nicely. We open with welcome to new york, which makes me think of Dawn's contest debut! Dawn was very intentional in becoming a coordinator, rather than May who kind of stumbled into it. "Everybody here wanted something more" just makes me think of her ambition. So: Dawn, 1989. Big debut into her profession (pop debut, contests), very self-aware but tries to brush it off, but still a very bright and fun person.

Gary: does monologue song count LMAO. Joking, I think Red. Upbeat and loud and self-assured at first (22, I knew you were trouble), but you dive down deep and see that the seemingly shallow pool is actually a huge ocean of a character/album that will stand long beyond its time and cement itself as a fan favorite. I think Holy Ground really fits him, though I cannot for the life of me explain why. However, the cockiness /affectionate of I Bet You Think About Me fits him SO WELL!!! Also. "I'll be summer sun for you, forever".

Misty: Debut. Classic, the OG, might burn your house down, unhinged teenage girl energy. Hates that STUPID OLD PICKUP TRUCK YOU NEVER LET HER DRIVE. She's energetic, loud, and a trailblazer for all the albums and pokegirls to come. Starting off with a BANG and a banjo. Not much else to say, just pure iconic energy (but with a soft side!!! secretly a HUGE romantic).

Drew: Okay, a weird one. I almost went Evermore (introspective to almost a fault, way too in his own head, a dreamer in his own way and a timeless romantic) but ultimately I think my interpretation of Drew is just SO reputation. Cold on the outside, but the most romantic, soft interior once you get to know him. Drew also is a famous coordinator and has his own fan club (in canon, consisting of moms who have merch of him for... some reason, which. shoutout to the discord friends that have dubbed it the milf club- or was that my fault???? that might have been a taylorism [me taylor lol, not swift taylor]) BUT ANYWAYS Rep explores themes of finding love in crowed places which I tend to lean into in contestshipping fics and ideas, themes of avoiding fame and finding that balance of letting people in versus shutting them out. Also, you either love him or hate him, I've noticed, much like reputation. He comes off a bit offputting at first and people tend to write him off as annoying before they get to know him (cough, first tracks of rep are not at all indicative of rep as a whole BUT FUCKING SLAP ONCE YOU GET THE VIBES!) Also because I will defend both of them until death.

May: I was stuck between a LOT for my favorite girlie. I know you have her as lover which is SO PERFECT but i think anime may specifically feels very fearless/speak now. I went with Fearless, but it could go either way with a brief shoutout to Red who almost made it. Fearless is kind of in her own little world, lost in thought, a dreamer who is still figuring it all out. But like May, Fearless has some spunk, too! I think specifically Tell Me Why reminds me a LOT of May and Harley's rivalry. "You took a swing, I took it hard, and down here from the ground I see who you are". Minus the romantic part of it, it reminds me SO SO SO much of Harley's supportive act and then turning on her, back and forth. Fearless is naive, and so is May. "And I know that you see what you're doing to me- tell me why!" I think ultimately though, Fearless is finding her way. Fearless is in new territory, making her own path as a dreamer and an optimist. Also, just entirely nostalgic. I saw Fearless in concert as a kid and May has always been my favorite, just very nostalgic for me for both of them.

Iris: Speak Now! Spunky. A little outta pocket. Would probably call you out for marrying a shitty person in the middle of your own damn wedding. Purple. I still don't have an amazing grasp on Iris, but Speak Now is THAT BITCH who SPEAKS HER MIND whether it's THE TIME FOR IT OR NOT and I think that feels very Iris to me in the best way. Iris is not afraid, she's here to be heard, but she's also just. soft. baby. friend.

Paul: Okay, weird one here. Paul has... issues. Problems. I think that in an ideal world we get a paul redemption and he was written a bit differently, and I think that Paul could have his Midnights era, very retrospective and kind of looking at things that went wrong in the past and figuring out how to move on from that. Not an album or Taylor, technically, but Renegade by Big Red Machine ft. TS fits, I think. "Are you really gonna talk about timing in times like these? Let all your damage damage me? Carry your baggage up my street?" The ultimate song of 'hey, maybe deal with your issues please so I can make you the blorbo I want you to be'. /joking but also not really. Quite literally, "is it insensitive of me to say, get your shit together so I can love you?"

Tracey: Folklore. Soft, gentle, would comfort me while I'm crying at 2 am, would bake cookies with me. Simple as that. "When I felt like I was an old cardigan under someone's bed, you put me on and said I was your favorite". I stand by Folklore and Evermore being the albums for people who think they don't like Taylor Swift btw, random side note. I think also, Tracey has this bright imagery with his art, and so does Folklore. Folklore is a very imagery-driven album in its lyrics. It's evocative- I think the biggest examples of this are Invisible String, Illicit Affairs, and Hoax. I'll just close my eyes to those songs and let my mind wander off... which, admittedly, also happens during some orange islands/johto episodes and most of the diancie movie, but you know what I mean lol. They're still a GREAT vibe.

[waratah-vroom]

Scandalous (ms47)

✨ join waratah's (over) 100 follower celebration ✨ Made to order for super sweet anon

Liked by yndaily, ynsource and 19,274 others ynstylefiles: When will they finally admit they're dating? They're so cute together!

"You need to leave."

Mick had barely finished tying his shoelaces when you threw him his jacket. "Pushing me out so soon, Hase?"

"No, you idiot, I mean you leave now and I'll follow you out in ten minutes. We'll meet in the car."

"This is getting ridiculous, honestly. I don't know why we can't just say we're dating."

You'd had this conversation a million times before. "You know why."

He groaned, his head falling against the back of the couch. His response was always the same. "It's so stupid."

You and Mick had already been dating for three months when your show's publicist approached you about entering a PR relationship with your co-star, Jacob. You'd flat out refused, but since you hadn't gone public with Mick yet, they'd managed to talk you into a compromise of leaving an 'air of ambiguity' between you and Jacob.

Mick wasn't thrilled, and to be honest neither were you, but it was either publicly ignore your boyfriend and get caught grabbing coffee with your co-star a couple of times a week, or damage your reputation with the biggest studio in Hollywood. That was six months ago, and your season finale was set to air in a week.

"It's just until the season finishes, then we can tell everyone."

"It's been six months, Hase. I'm getting exhausted with all the sneaking around."

You were getting exhausted too. It was tiring staggering your exits from hotels and restaurants, never being able to hold your boyfriend's hand in public. It was also getting annoying wearing sunglasses and a beanie everywhere you went, even in the height of summer. But you'd come this far and the finish line was almost in sight.

It's not like you didn't enjoy hanging out with Jacob. The two of you had become close friends since his character had been introduced as your new love interest at the start of the season. It was also helpful that Jacob was a huge sports fan so him being seen with a formula 1 driver didn't raise any questions. He also loved talking to Mick about cars so he was happy to tag along on your 'dates'.

Like right now, when you and Mick had found yourselves at a group dinner with Jacob, a popstar, two NBA players, and a few more of your co-stars.

"You know I love your friends but I really wish this was just the two of us," Mick took hold of your hand beneath the table, his thumb rubbing circles on your skin. "We could be home alone right now eating pasta. I would have gotten to have my desert first."

"I've been promising Olivia I'd catch up with her for ages," you whispered. "I couldn't turn her down a third time."

You would have much rather been at home too. You'd been on edge all day. Your manager was going to ring you some time tonight and you'd been over thinking the phone call since you'd woken up.

Olivia knew what day it was, how could she not when you brought it up any chance you got? She'd invited you and Mick out tonight as a distraction. "I can see the wheels turning in your head, babe," she said from across the table. "I know you're thinking about it."

"It's an Oscar nomination, how could she not be thinking about it?" Jacob asked, tossing a chip in his mouth.

It was true, how could it not be on your mind? As soon as your new film had started being shown to the press, the Oscar buzz had begun. It had only intensified when the film was finally released, and now you had an entire studio worth of pressure on your shoulders. Today was the day nominations would be announced and you were just waiting for your phone to start buzzing in your pocket.

"You'll get it, Hase. I know you will. You deserve it."

"I bet you'll feel like shit if she doesn't get it now," someone said quickly followed by a thud and a yelp.

"Of course she'll get it, the movie's incredible."

"She's incredible in everything she's in!"

You drowned out their chatter, a bubbly feeling slowly growing in your stomach. You'd won awards before; hell you'd won an Emmy for the first season of your TV show, but the Oscars were big. Really big.

A tapping on your shoulder snapped you out of your daze and Mick said, "your phone's ringing."

"Everyone shush," Olivia's eyes widened as you answered your phone. Her whole body seemed to vibrate as you spoke to someone on the other end.

"Okay, thank you," you nodded, listening as your manager said something about press and photographs. "Yeah, I'll speak with you in the morning. Okay. Bye."

The table was silent, everyone's eyes were on you, waiting for you to speak.

"I got the nomination. Best Actress."

Cheers and shouts erupted from everyone at the table. Olivia was the loudest, shouting that she never had any doubt, but your eyes were focused solely on your boyfriend.

He grinned, "ich war mir sicher, dass du es kapieren würdest, Hase."

"I don't know what that means but it sounds like you love me."

"I do love you," his hands grabbed your cheeks, pulling your face to his as he kissed you. Just as you deepened the kiss by slipping your tongue into his mouth he whispered, "ich bin so stolz auf dich"

"Again, no idea," your lips chased after him as he pulled away to look in your eyes.

He went in for another kiss but stopped when Olivia cleared her throat, "as much as I'm loving this moment between you two, there's cameras."

Y/N L/N CAUGHT CHEATING ON JACOB ELORDI

Y/N L/N SEEN KISSING MICK SCHUMACHER AT AN INTIMATE DINNER: CLICK HERE TO SEE HER RUMOURED BOYFRIEND'S REACTION

JACOB ELORDI REPORTEDLY DEVASTED AMIDST Y/N L/N CHEATING RUMOURS

"Oh my god, I'm going to have to post one of those notes app apologies, aren't I?" You'd been pacing the living room for what felt like hours.

Mick had checked his phone and it hadn't been longer than five minutes. He'd tried to pull you in for a hug but you'd shaken him off, continuing your laps around the coffee table. He'd resigned himself to sitting on the couch and letting you rant. "You haven't done anything wrong."

"People think I cheated on Jacob."

"You'd have to be dating him for it to count as cheating."

"Everyone hates me!"

"I think you're overreacting, Hase."

"You don't get it, Mick. You're not a woman. It's always our fault. They're making me out to be some sort of... I don't know... Sex-crazed adulterer!"

"Adulterer? I don't know what that means."

"Cheater, Mick. I'm a cheater," you finally collapsed on the couch next to him, your hands covering your face.

"Hase. Schatz. Love. Come here," he patted his thigh and you sighed, reluctantly moving to sit on his lap. All it took was Mick stroking your hair for you to bury your face in his shoulder and let out a shaky breath.

"You haven't done anything, okay? It's always just been me and you. You can't cheat on me with me, can you? Plus it's not like you've ever kissed Jacob or confirmed you two were dating. The media made it all up in their heads. Sure you never told them they were wrong and I'm not going to say I said it would end badly-"

"Mick," you groaned. "Not helpful."

"It'll blow over, Hase. I promise."

He looked so sure of his words, his blue eyes full of confidence. He always had a way of putting you at ease.

You pressed your forehead against his and kissed his nose. "You still love me, right?"

He went to turn his head away but your palm caught his cheek, keeping his eyes locked on your own. "Do I need to respond to that?"

"Yes."

"Ich liebe dich mehr als alles andere."

Tagged: mickschumacher Liked by yourfriend, taylorswift and 15,392,842 others yourusername: In my lover era 💘

mickschumacher: Mein Schatz 🤍

jacobelordi: Never seen a better matched pair than you and Mick

oliviarodrigo: Cutest couple!

georgerussell63: Thank god. I think Mercedes admin was going to have a heart attack if they had to crop you out of another photo. ↳ mercedesamgf1: It's true, my blood pressure has been shockingly high.

read more of my writing here

ﾟ｡ ⋆ mags' radio: Idk how awards nominations work... so pls suspend your disbelief. This was a fun one! I know anon said they wanted a chaotic ending, so I tried my bestest ⋆｡ ﾟ☁︎｡ ⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡

German translations (idk German so I used a translator)  Hase, Schatz = affectionate nicknames (side note: all german nicknames are adorable) Ich war mir sicher, dass du es kapieren würdest = I knew you’d get it Ich bin so stolz auf dich = I’m so proud of you Ich liebe dich mehr als alles andere = I love you more than anything

taglist: @fulla02reads @flowerchild-96 @camillalarke @cool-ultra-nerd @azxulaa @booksobsess @formulakay

[filmbyjy]

How hyung line would look after you on your period ?

a/n: oh actually I’ve done one with the whole group before but since this is only for the hyung line, it’s going to be a new one! also it’s great to know i’m currently on my period as I started writing this🧌currently dying👍🏻

WARNING: since it is the hyung line, i'm making it more suggestive than usual. why? bc these four have me on chokehold. which also means minors please do not interact. mentions about giving head. mentions of makeout. i'm putting this in the smut tag only bc i realise the more i write, the more i want to go further😀.

enhypen reacts [hyung line]: taking care of you during your period

— placing this in case the read more messes up —

❦ heeseung

oh lee heeseung…holding back myself bc i may pounce

but anyways, i've said in my other post with the whole group, heeseung would definitely be sweet

he buys you pads whenever you run out (with addition of him being terrified by the heaps of pads and tampons in that section)

helps make tea (or coffee but i'm more of tea girl) when you feel in pain.

helps you distract from your cramps by making you laugh

he still that sweet boyfriend but...

his patience is at the low when he's getting hot and heavy.

i mentioned that heeseung now uses kisses to make you feel better whenever you are having cramps.

and when those kisses get carried away, you bet your asses you will be laid back onto the couch as heeseung hovers over you.

and he would get annoyed if your cramps interrupt his kissing session with you.

if it escalates even further, you have to stop him and remind him that you are on your period.

to which, he groans

"i just want to give you some love. why does mother nature have to come at the worst timing." he complains.

oh lee heeseung, you wished god never made women suffer with periods every month but there was no choice.

so to suffice heeseung's lust, you umm well offer him to give him head.

and yes, he agreed bc who wouldn't want to receive head from their significant other.

❦ jay

okay so i've mentioned before that since jay is an only child, he wouldn't know much about periods and stuff

after all, the only womanly figure around him is his mom.

however, he does quickly learn how to handle these sorts of things bc well he is simply park jongseong.

and once he becomes a pro at it then yay! happy girlfriend = happy jay

now for the suggestive part...

jay, to put it quite frankly, has a high sex drive. i won't lie

but he is a patient man so he will wait

however, not when you've been teasing him.

you've gotten more horknee during your period and like you have a hunk of a boyfriend

how are you not supposed to tease him

your kisses always lingered on him and it makes him want to swoop you in and kiss you hard

but he knows he shouldn't

"love, we shouldn't." jay says.

"but i just want to kiss you."

"if i kiss you, i won't be able to control myself."

but of course, you kissed him.

it ends with you and him having clothed sex and yes, it was the hottest thing you've done with jay.

❦ jake

i've mentioned that jake has 'golden retriever' energy

and it's true he does

he would be a good boy and run around helping you whenever he needs to

bc he loves you

which does make him sound like a total simp, which he is. however, do you wear the pants in the relationship?

unfortunately, you don't bc although jake is all 'happy puppy', he can turn into a total menace with you.

tbh, he hates whenever you have your period. sure he takes care of you and whatever.

but to him, a period is like cockblocker

he can't have sex with you

and we all can tell that he has a high sex drive (read: scorpio sign staring right back at you)

so like whenever, it's that time of the month...jake has no choice but to either jerk off or be holy and not touch himself

if he decides to stay holy is bc he would rather feel you than use his hands.

however, if he can't wait then his right hand will be of use.

❦ sunghoon

i didn't mention much in hoon's side bc it was just crack

and honestly, it's true

sunghoon just wants to liven up the mood bc he knows it probably hurts

or well you told him how much it hurts

sunghoon doesn't enjoy seeing you in pain so he opts to make you smile

or well...see you flustered

sunghoon likes to also tease you during your period

why? bc you can't do anything about it

little does he know, your hormones go way worse when it's that time of the month.

he will trap you against a wall, lean down to nearly kiss your lips and then pulling away.

you hate it but you also loved it bc god you loved the tension whenever it happens.

finally, you cracked. you wrapped your arms around sunghoon's neck and kissed him. he wasn't fazed by it since he wanted this too.

it escalates further, you were in the bedroom. straddling sunghoon's lap still kissing him and grinding down on him.

sunghoon knows this should stop but he drunk off the feeling, it had been a long time (it was only 2-3 days).

you had ended it off by giving him head and he helped you out by letting you ride his thigh.

[marblemoovt]

Bake A Wish - John Price/Reader

Masterlist

Rating: Teen

Word Count: 7.2k

Warnings: Fluff with a smidge of angst

Summary:

You bump into a man and his daughter at the grocery store. The kid is really insistent you join them for dinner.

------

She’s been on a tangent about her father, who you assume she’s hiding from, for ten minutes now. From what you’re able to gather, he works in the military. 

Unwilling to dampen her excitement, you crouch down and listen to every word. “Is that so, little one?” you say, propping your chin up with your hand. 

She nods, brown strands flying everywhere. “Mhmm. And he’s super handsome, too! A lady called him a dill, but Daddy’s not a pickle! She was so silly.” Your eyes widen, and you slap a hand over your mouth to barricade the gurgle in your throat. A fucking DILL.

Note:

This has been sitting in my wips for over a month but it's finally done!! I apologize if the quality feels sporadic throughout the fic. Writing consistently is just something I can't seem to do and my motivation/inspiration has been in a slump lately. The amount of fluff fics I've written that involve baking is ridiculous, I didn't realize that's the activity I default to lol.

I've never written for John before, so I'm still trying to get a feel for his character.

Anyways, thank you @yeyinde for introducing John Price to me. I was debating on not tagging you but I can't be a coward forever.

Happy Reading! ヾ(•ω•`)o

─── ⋆ ｡ﾟ☆: *. ☽ .* :☆ﾟ｡⋆ ───

John holds the hand of his six-year-old daughter, Rose. The little munchkin is a ball of energy, and he fears the consequences if he were to let her run wild. “Don’t let go of my hand, ok Rosy?” Rose grins with more mischief than a little child should have. She attempts to run away, and John scoops her in his arms.

“I’m too big to be carried, Daddy!” she squeals, arms flinging around his neck to stabilize herself. The scent of her strawberry shampoo tickles his nose.

“You have to promise me you’re not going to do that again,” he says. Rose holds out her pinky, and he accepts her promise. Her finger looks tiny and frail compared to his. He sets her down and ruffles her hair despite her whinging. “Do you remember what we came here to buy?” he asks.

She claps her hands with glee and exclaims, “Cookies for Santa!!! Because Daddy can’t bake, so we have to buy cookies from the store!” John smiles, but he can’t help but feel the sting of her bluntness. Kids are way too honest.

“What kind of cookies do you want to get?” he asks.

“Not chocolate chip. Everyone uses chocolate chip.” She strokes her chin, imitating the gesture she’s seen her father do whenever he has to think hard about something. “Candy cane cookies!” She ponders over it for another minute before nodding her head. “I bet Santa’s never gotten candy cane cookies before.”

“I don’t think they sell those, rosebud,” he says, and she frowns.

“I guess they’re too special to sell in a store,” she laments, her enthusiasm wilting a little.

John crouches down to Rose’s eye level. “Why don’t we look at all the cookies they have and pick one afterwards?” he suggests.

“Ok,” she sighs, holding her hand out for him to grab. Large, calloused fingers swallow her hand whole, and John wonders how much longer it will stay like this. Her brown locks are a few inches longer than last time, but the beaming smile on her face when she sees him remains constant. He blinks the heat away from his eyes and leads Rose to the snack aisle. 

There’s an entire shelf dedicated to cookies, some of them themed for the holidays. But the snowflake shortbread cookies further deflate Rose. She droops when they come across sugar cookies in the shape of Christmas trees. John silently curses the corporate companies for manufacturing every winter holiday cookie except for a candy cane. He squeezes her hand, and his heart aches when he catches Rose biting her lip. Tears are on the verge of spilling, but she will not cry. He actually can’t remember the last time he’s seen her cry. The thought bothers him more than he wants.

John spots a box of rainbow cookies on the top shelf. He releases her hand to grab them, “What about these?” When he turns around, Rose is gone. The box tumbles to the ground. “Rose?” His eyes sweep the shelves. Rows of cookies and other snacks, but no sign of her. “Rosy?!” He begins jogging through the store, checking every aisle before moving on to the next. Icy claws grip his chest, and all of his senses are on high alert. He fidgets with the dog tags around his neck and has to remind himself that he’s not on duty.

Sharp laughter slices through the pounding in his eardrums; a high-pitched fit dissolves into familiar giggles. Rose. He flexes his clenched fists to relieve the stinging in his palms. He pinpoints the sound to the baking section and sprints like a madman. Sliding to a stop, he spots her at the other end of the aisle. His body sags against a shelf, and the air enters his lungs with ease once more.

“My Daddy’s amazing! He can shoot bad guys from reeeeally far away,” Rose brags to a stranger crouched in front of her. That stranger is you.

A faint giggle grabbed your attention. Twinkling lights accompanied by the pounding of tiled flooring. A little girl beelined straight toward you, veering to the side to hide behind a display of chocolate bars. She covered her shoes with her hands to dull the blinking, peering around for someone. She spotted you holding a bag of flour and asked if you bake. Her eyes lit up when you confirmed that you do. 

She’s been on a tangent about her father, who you assume she’s hiding from, for ten minutes now. From what you’re able to gather, he works in the military. 

Unwilling to dampen her excitement, you crouch down and listen to every word. “Is that so, little one?” you say, propping your chin up with your hand. 

She nods, brown strands flying everywhere. “Mhmm. And he’s super handsome, too! A lady called him a dill, but Daddy’s not a pickle! She was so silly.”

Your eyes widen, and you slap a hand over your mouth to barricade the gurgle in your throat. A fucking DILL. You don’t have the heart to correct her. Correction: You’re too busy trying not to collapse on the floor in a fit of laughter. The misunderstanding is best left alone, but your curiosity is piqued. What does this man look like?

“Rose!” A voice booms from the other end of the aisle, and the child hides behind you. You stand up and shield her with your body, eying the stranger with a frown. Brown hair with silver streaks, and his eyes—fuck, you wish the sky would be that blue instead of grey. He approaches you two, and when Rose makes no further movements, you stick your arm out to block him.

“Who are you?” you ask. He must be at least six feet tall, with broad shoulders, and built like he could beat you into a bloody pulp if he wanted. 

He mirrors your frown, eyes flickering to the brown hair peeking behind your figure. “I should be asking you that. Who are you, and what are you doing with my daughter?”

You narrow your eyes. “How do I know you’re not some pervert who kidnaps children?”

He chuckles; the low rumble sends the butterflies rampaging against your stomach walls. “Sweetheart, I could say the same about you,” and he crosses his arms—his thick and muscular arms. The way his biceps bulge underneath his sweater…. You bite your lip. The metallic tang in your mouth grounds you. You swipe a tongue across the fresh wound, and the sting helps you regain a few brain cells. 

Turning to Rose, you ask, “Is this your dad?” and squeeze her hands. “You can tell me if it isn’t, and we’ll find a nice employee to help you.” You talk slowly, enunciating each word with care. Rose glances at the man behind you before settling on your face. 

She cups her hands around her mouth, and you lean in, her warm breath tickling your ear. “Yeah, that’s my dad. What do you think? Super handsome, right?” she whispers. You glance at him and huff. A fucking dill, indeed. 

“Rosy, stop bothering the nice stranger,” her father says, gesturing for her to come to him. She skips over and fails to dodge his hand. Rose groans and buries her face into her father’s stomach as he ruffles her hair. You avert your eyes and ignore the heat that prickles the back of your neck. Wringing your hands, you stare at the floor as their laughter echoes in the aisle. You hardly know these people. Plus his wife must be somewhere in the store, ready to pop out at any second. 

“The ‘stranger’ has a name,” you speak up, introducing yourself. You keep your eyes trained on the shelf of sprinkles above his right shoulder as if the plastic bottles of sugar will stop you from falling.

He holds out a hand for you to shake. “John, John Price.” Firm warmth envelopes your skin and dissipates far too quickly for your liking. Sparks of electricity fizzle before they get a chance to light your nerves on fire—and you want to burn.

“Heh, P as in Pickle,” you snicker, making the mistake of meeting his gaze. Your arm drops to your side, and your bones turn to lead. The sky must be grey because all the blue was stolen and contained in his eyes. There’s no coldness, no ice, only calm ripples of water. The gentle drag of the ocean as the waves lap against the shore, inviting you into its depths.

John raises a brow. “An odd observation, but yes.” He smooths Rose’s hair to no avail. Baby hairs and cowlicks in all different directions are a continuous reminder that he’s been meaning to learn how to style hair. 

Rose beams at him with her toothy grin. “Cause Daddy’s a dill!” she adds.

John’s confused expression quickly morphs into one of horror. “Where did you hear that?!” He narrows his eyes at you. 

You throw your hands up in surrender. “Don’t look at me. This is the first time we’ve met.”

Rose tugs on his shirt and says, “That lady who used to babysit me. She also called you a fox, but I told her you’re a man.” Your eyes widen, and your shoulders tremble. John runs a hand through his graying hair, and you rip your gaze away because witnessing that felt illegal. Every time you look at him you notice another thing that attracts you.

John sighs and rubs the back of his neck. “I’m sorry about her. I love Rose, but she can be a handful at times,” he says, whispering the second half. His head tilts forward, and now all you can focus on is how his moustache frames his mouth. Plump and pink.

Your lips crook upwards in a slant. “It’s not a problem. She’s an entertaining conversationalist.” You find yourself drawing nearer to his face, wandering from the shore and deeper into the ocean—oblivious to the current that will pull you under.

Rose tugs on your shirt and asks, “Why don’t you join us for dinner?” You pull away with a sharp inhale, processing how John’s eyes flicker to your lips. The little girl gazes at you with a hopeful smile, but you look to her father for confirmation. 

“Rose, you can’t invite people you barely know to your home,” he reprimands, and her smile flatlines. It’s probably for the best. At the current pace, it’s like you’re in a sappy romance novel! John shoots you an apologetic smile, but you wave your hand and shake your head in understanding. 

Rose pouts and stares at her shoes. She shuffles her feet, and the lights twinkle with each tap. “But then there’ll be someone who can bake cookies,” she says, looking up at him with puppy eyes. John winces.

You notice him wracking his brain for a response and decide to help him. “They sell rolls of sugar cookie dough; next to the puff pastry,” and you jerk a thumb behind you. Sometimes you buy a roll or two when you feel particularly lazy but crave cookies. 

John mouths a “Thank you” and holds Rose’s hand. “C’mon, rosebud. Let’s buy some, and you can make your candy cane cookies.” 

Rose perks up at the mention of cookies, her shoes now fighting to match the brightness of her eyes. “Wow! They sell everything here!” She drags him to the pre-made dough section. Well, she tries to drag him. Rose is less than half her father’s size. It reminds you of those cartoon characters that try to move a comically large boulder. Blue eyes meet your gaze one last time and wink at you. 

Did. Did he just?

You stand there, unblinking, staring at the corner they disappeared behind. 

Holy fucking shit. He did. 

You don’t register going through the checkout and packing your things in the car. With a blink, you’re in front of the steering wheel, key in hand. Where were you...? Home. You were on your way home. Slotting the key in the ignition, you start the engine and begin the drive home. For once, the clouds have gone, and the world mocks you with its clear skies. You don’t think you can stand to look at the colour blue for a while. It’s a good thing you’re sitting right now. 

The drive itself is unremarkable. You go through the same streets, pass the same buildings, pull into the same parking lot, and park in your usual spot next to a truck. You admire the muscular arm resting on said truck window. Funny. Guess that sweater is popular around here. Large hands run through brown hair flecked with grey—John.

Shit. Shit. Shit. 

You creep out of your car and circle around to the apartment building, abandoning your groceries.

Just a few feet. Just a few feet, and you’ll make it to the door. Conscious of your steps, you slink across the pavement and concrete. You wrap your hand around the handle, and the tension bleeds from your shoulders. 

“Are you playing hide and seek, too?” a voice from below asks. You jerk and pull the door instead of pushing. A loud rattle echoes in the vicinity. Who decided it was a good idea to make doors out of glass? A sadist who likes to watch people open doors incorrectly, that’s who. You glance down. Long lashes frame blue eyes that stare into your soul. Your fingers itch to adjust the cowlick in the disarray of her hair. You spot a few leaves clinging to her locks. Was she hiding by that bush beside you?

“Are you hiding from your dad?” you ask Rose, scooting behind the potted plant when she beckons you closer.

Rose shrugs and peeks around you. “Daddy was taking too long. I’m waiting to see when he’ll notice I left.” 

Your brows pinch together. “That’s not safe, Rose. You should stick close to him. What if something bad happens to you?”

“Don’t worry, I have a lot of uncles, and they taught me how to beat up baddies!” She punches the air a few times. Her face pulls tight in concentration before loosening into a grin. She shrinks behind the bush and brings a finger to her lips.“Now shhh, we have to be quiet.”

Boots thud against the pavement, the strides between each step growing shorter. “Rosy! Where did you run off to this time?” There’s a divet to his tone beneath the loudness, like the warning tremors of an avalanche. “I need to put that girl on a leash.” There’s a smile in his tone, but it stretches taut like a rubber band, ready to snap and whiplash you with his increasing agitation. He runs a hand down his face and sighs, eyes darting across the rows of cars. 

You can’t watch this any longer. You move to reveal yourself, but Rose beats you to it. She tiptoes behind her father, giving up halfway and slamming herself into him. 

“Boo!” Rose screams, voice muffled by his shirt. 

John stares at Rose and shouts half a second later. “Ah!” Half a second too late.

Rose pulls away with a sullen frown. “I didn’t scare you, did I?”

John crouches down and pets her hair. “No, no, rosebud. Was so afraid I forgot how to talk,” he insists. 

Rose gives him a scrutinizing look. “Liar,” she pouts. John leans in and whispers something into her ear, scratching her smooth cheek with his beard. She giggles and squirms, pushing his face away with both her hands. He deliberately rubs their cheeks together, and it causes her to laugh harder. 

Once again, you’re watching the two of them from afar. Heat pricks your skin, and your gaze steers toward the door. You should be able to slip unnoticed if you’re quiet. Standing up, you wince as your joints pop. You might as well hang a giant neon sign to denote your presence. 

John’s voice glues your feet to the ground. “Let’s bring everything inside, then you can bake your cookies,” he says. You press your back against the wall and exhale through your nose. No big deal. You just need to wait until they head inside first. Your palms dig into the stony material of the building. As if with enough force, you’ll be able to reorganize your atoms and disappear into the walls to escape dying from embarrassment. 

“I have a surprise for you, Daddy!” Rose’s voice draws nearer.

You are a wall. A silent, still, and formidable wall.

“Did you find another pretty stone?” John asks, tone laced with amusement. 

You close your eyes, but the ocean will not leave you alone. The waves lap at your feet on the shore, and you shrink away. Stone presses hard into your back.

They won’t find you. They’ll walk past you and go inside. Your erratic heartbeat fragments your thoughts into mismatched puzzle pieces. You can’t think with all this drumming and adrenaline.

“It’s pretty, but it’s not a stone.” Rose runs up to you and tugs you from your hiding spot. “A special guest for dinner!” she presents you like a prized animal. You stumble, and your eyes snap open in fear of hitting the ground. Strong arms rush forward to steady you. You lift your head, and your mouth dries.

Cerulean eyes pull you into their depths, crinkles forming at their edges. John’s accent caresses your ears, and you tamp down the unintelligible noise that threatens to destroy your last shred of dignity. “I didn’t know you lived here too,” and the corners of his lips twitch.

You force your tongue to articulate, the words scraping like sandpaper up your throat. “Neither did I—that you also lived here! Cause I know that I live here because I live here!” A shaky laugh warbles out of you. “I wasn’t following you because that would be creepy—and I’m going to shut up now.” You seal your lips together before you can dig a deeper hole for yourself. His hands are still on you, fingers wrapped around your arms. Your blood sings at the contact. 

“Do you think Daddy’s handsome?” Rose blurts out. Flames lick your skin, and your mouth becomes reminiscent of a goldfish. 

John’s fingers dig into your arms, and it’s not until you flinch that his hands drop to his sides. “That’s not a polite question, Rose,” he rumbles. It’s low, a warning. But when you’re a kid, you’re not afraid of anything.

Rose places her hands on her hips. “But you were like this in the car on the way home too! And when I asked you what was wrong, you told me I was too young to understand. I’m not stupid, Daddy. I’m six.” She stomps on ‘six.’ And you watch as this little girl brings this burly man to his knees. 

John sighs, “Not here, Rose. Please.” 

But Rose refuses to yield. “Why not? You both like each other, so why can’t we have dinner together?” she asks.

John rubs the back of his neck, the muscles in his arms flexing. “Would you like to join us tonight?” he asks, eyes flickering between your face and the parking lot behind you. 

“I’m afraid Rose will kidnap me if I don’t say yes,” you joke. 

Rose grumbles, “Just because you’re right doesn’t mean you have to say it out loud.” She grabs your hand and tugs you to the entrance. “Daddy can bring the groceries inside. I want to show you my toys!”

You dig your heels into the ground and say, “I need to bring my things inside as well. It’ll only take a few minutes.” Rose’s smile falters, and she reluctantly lets you go.

“Don’t worry, Love. I can take care of that for ya,” John offers

You fidget with the keys in your pocket. “Are you sure?” You’re not worried about him stealing your car. He can’t exactly hide if you two live in the same building. Besides, you want to believe that the kindness in his eyes is genuine. 

“Wouldn’t have offered if I wasn’t,” he reaffirms. 

“Ok,” and you hand him your car keys. His fingertips graze your palm, and you shiver. God, you’re pathetic. Rose tugs on your arm, and you trail after her. She leads you up a few flights of stairs before stopping on the third floor, where you also live. Except she walks to the opposite end of the hallway, away from your apartment. She pulls a key out of her pocket and unlocks the door.

Rose drops your hand and runs inside, returning with a stuffed animal in her arms. “This is Mr. Bear. Daddy got him for me!” Mr. Bear is wearing tactical gear and a bucket hat. Frayed threads stick out of his body along the seams, and small patches of fur have fallen out. She cradles the stuffed animal close to her chest and rests her chin atop his head. 

You nearly melt on the spot. “That’s very sweet of him,” you say.

“Sometimes, when I miss him, I just need to squeeze Mr. Bear tight.” She gives you a demonstration.

A familiar warm timbre greets your ears.“I love you, rosebud.” 

You grin and say, “Your dad reminds me of a bear.”

“Yeah! He’s big and cuddly. But his face turned red when I told him,” Rose mumbles the last part. She straightens up and tugs on your arm. “Oh! And these are my action figures!” 

You walk into what you assume is her bedroom. It’s not as chaotic as you thought it would be. Her bed is in one corner of the room, with a collection of stuffies sitting along one side. There’s a shelf with knickknacks and picture frames. Your eyes land on a photo of John holding a small bundle in his arms. It looks like the picture was taken without him knowing. His eyes are wide, staring at the tiny hand wrapped around his thumb. 

There’s something that’s been bothering you, but you don’t think it’s your place to ask. Rose startles you when she starts barking out, “Hold your fire! We can’t alert the enemy of our whereabouts!” You whip around to see her sitting on the ground with a mini soldier in each hand. The large tub behind her is open, the lid propped neatly against its side. You sit next to her and watch the ‘mission’ play out. She hands you a soldier and assigns you the special position of super spy. Now a successful job rests on your shoulders.

Thanks to Captain Rose, your team retrieves the files, returning without a single casualty. Although you had a close encounter with the enemy’s Captain Pickles, which began some sort of enemies-to-lovers arc. You don’t know. She’s six. She reasoned that the power of love triumphs over all. Rose begins cleaning up, setting the toys neatly in the bin before snapping the lid shut.

“Did you learn all that from your dad?” you ask.

Rose shrugs and picks up Mr. Bear. “Daddy never tells me anything about work. It’s classified. Sometimes I watch TV. There’s a show where one of the characters looks just like him, but Nana doesn’t let me watch much 'cause it’s not for kids.” Dear lord. Could you imagine being sandwiched between two Johns?? 

“Rosy? Want to bake your cookies now?” John shouts from the corridor, snapping you out of your fantasy.

“Yes, please!” Rose replies. She grabs your hand and gives you a toothy grin. “You can be my assistant. Daddy’s hopeless at baking.” She leads you to the kitchen, where some bowls and a tray are on the table. Rose lets go and skips to a seat, plopping herself down. Mr. Bear is seated on the chair next to her.

You sit at her other side and ask, “What kind of cookies are we making?” There are no cookie cutters in sight to give you a clue. 

Rose clasps her hands together. Her feet swing beneath the table. “Candy Canes! Santa will be so impressed that he’ll grant my wish for sure,” she answers.

You don’t know what a six-year-old would ask from Santa, but you sincerely hope it’s fulfilled. Perusing the items on the table, you notice a vital ingredient missing. “Do you have food dye?” you ask. 

Rose strokes her chin. She hops off her chair and walks up to John. “Daddy, do we have any food dye?”

John’s head peeks out from behind the fridge door. “Sorry, Rosy. I don’t remember,” and there’s a sheepish grin on his face. 

Rose hums and grabs a stool, tottering to the drawers. “I forgot. You went away for a while. I think Nana left some the last time we baked.” Your eyes snap to the fridge when you hear a thud. An apple rolls across the floor and stops near your feet. You pick up the fruit, thumb brushing over the bruise blooming underneath its skin. “I found red!” Rose waves a small bottle in her hand and dashes to show you. 

You set the apple on the table and praise Rose. Her chest puffs up, and the smile she gives you is dazzling. She hops onto her seat, clutching the bottle to her chest. 

John walks up to you two. “Here’s the dough,” and he holds out the cylindrical tube but changes his mind and leaves it on the table. The only seats left are the ones across. He picks the spot in front of you. 

“Thanks.” You snap the tube open and remove the packaging. “Alright, Rose. We split the dough in half, and you’ll colour one part red.”

Rose cocks her head to the side. “We don’t paint the cookies?”

You shake your head and say, “There’s an easier way to make them look like candy canes.” You hand Rose a wooden spoon and tell her to mix the dough while you add the dye. Once half the dough is red, you take equal parts from both bowls and roll them into noodles. Putting them together, you twist them to form a cane. You curve one end, and the result is a near-perfect replica of a candy cane. Rose marvels at the sight, face inches from the table’s surface. 

There’s a streak of food colouring on her face, and you grab a tissue for her. She’s engrossed in the cookie, picking it up and turning it over. Out of impulse, you wipe the stain on her cheek and her laughter tinkles throughout the room. She complains about being ticklish between her giggles. A low sigh draws your attention. You look over to John, who’s watching you with his head propped up with his hand. “What? Do I have something on my face?” you ask.

There’s a softness to John’s features. He looks at you like you’re holding his heart in your hands, squeezing the pulsating organ with every cookie you form. “Do good looks count?” It’s barely audible, but you hear it. His elbow slips from the table, and he clears his throat. “Just been a while since I’ve seen her so happy.” He folds his arms across the table, a wall of muscle to create a false sense of distance. 

You gesture your head at Rose. “Make a cookie with her; have fun together.”

John stares at the table, stroking his chin in a familiar fashion, but remains silent otherwise. You chew on the inside of your cheek and resume forming the cookies. The squeal of wood scraping against wood pricks your ears. John squeezes himself into the space between you and Rose. His shoulders brush against you, and he is radiating heat. “What have you got there, Rosy?” he asks.

Rose looks at him with furrowed brows. “A candy cane, silly. Here, I’ll show you how to make it,” she answers. Rose does a quick demonstration, but John still struggles. Somehow he’s managed to mix the parts to create pink. Rose shakes her head, lips tugging into a frown. “My hands are too small; can you help him?” She turns to you. Long lashes frame her doe eyes, and you can’t bring yourself to say no.

You glance at John to find he’s staring at you. Shifting in your seat, you say, “If you don’t mind…?”

John maintains eye contact. “I’m all yours,” and the smile he gives you is bashful. You fight the warmth rushing to your cheeks, but it’s like trying to douse a flame with gasoline. The heat intensifies, and you grab a tissue to wipe your clammy hands, muttering an excuse about the dye staining your skin. 

You focus on the table, resisting the temptation to turn your head and meet the gaze burning into your face. “You take equal parts of each dough and roll them into logs.” You pause to make sure he’s following along. “Once they’re the same size, you can twist them together to form a cane.” John is about to mush his cookie as children tend to do with playdough; always mixing the colours. You grab his hands to stop him. His fingers twitch against your palms, but he doesn’t recoil. “Like this,” and you twist your cookie, rolling it some more to flatten the cane.  

“You make it sound so easy,” John huffs.

You shrug your shoulders. “It’s not too bad once you get the hang of it.”

John shakes his head. “Give me a pistol, and I can field strip and reassemble in a few minutes.” He holds up a warped cookie. “This, this I can’t do.”

You bump your shoulders together. “I’ll have you baking like a pro.”

John grins; it’s boyish and charming—it pulls you in like a flower reaching for a ray of sunlight. “Is that a promise?” he asks, lashes framing an expanse of blue. And once again, you are hopelessly lost at sea. 

“Only if you’ll invite me over again,” you quip.

“Is this flirting?” Rose asks. Her head pops up behind John’s shoulder. “If Daddy won’t invite you, I will.”

You smile as John buries his face in his hands. “Thank you, Rose,” you say.

She returns the gesture with a wide grin. “You’re very welcome.”

You continue making the cookies in silence, gaslighting yourself into thinking that the numerous brushes against your hand are accidental. 7/10 times you’re grabbing something, John also happens to be reaching for the same item. The cookie under your palm flattens into a pancake when his body leans ever-so-slightly into yours. Thankfully this is the last cookie, and you place it on the baking tray with the rest.

Rose insists on putting the tray into the oven herself, and John watches her like a hawk, hovering behind her in case he needs to step in.

Once John’s certain the apartment won’t burst into flames, he rolls up his sleeves. You eye the veins along his arms as subtly as you can, wincing like a child caught in the act of misbehaving when John speaks. “Can you please help Rose clean up? I need to get started on dinner,” he asks.

“Yes, Chef,” and you give a mock salute. “Alright, Rose. I’ll wash all the dishes in the sink. Can you wipe the counter?” you ask her.

Rose straightens her back and nods. “Affirmative,” she replies, marching to grab a towel. 

You begin collecting the bowls and utensils, plugging the drain afterwards to fill up the sink. A few drops of soap and a mountain of suds form. With a sponge, you begin scrubbing away at bits of dried-up dough and red dye. In the corner of your eye, Rose is reprimanding Mr. Bear on how he needs to pull his weight too and that it doesn’t matter if he’s not heavy because he’s full of stuffing. 

“You’ve got an adorable soldier,” you say, turning your head to John, who’s heating a pan on the stove.

John watches Rose with deep affection. Those are the eyes of a man staring at the purpose of his existence. “She’s a trooper, alright,” and the smile on his face is lax.

“What’s on the menu tonight?” you ask, adding more soap to your sponge. The remaining traces of dye are giving you grief.

“Fish and chips; one of Rosy’s favourites,” John answers.

“Daddy makes the best!” Rose pipes up.

John shakes his head, and the base of his neck flushes. “She’s exaggerating,” he says.

You smirk, “I’ll be the judge of that.” The chuckle your words elicit from John fills you with a pleasant buzz.

“I have to warn you. I aim to please,” and the lilt in John’s voice encourages you further.

“Yes, you certainly look the type,” you say, eyes trailing up and down his figure. John’s body trembles under your gaze. “Is it just you and Rose here?” You don’t know if he’s divorced, but you don’t recall seeing a ring on his finger.

“She’s dead,” John says. Concise and well-practiced. The plate in your hand slips and splashes into the sink with a thud, shattering the silence. You look over at John, but his back is to you. Shoulders hunched and head low. “Died during childbirth,” he adds, and the slight wobble churns your stomach. You should have known. Should have guessed from how the pictures on the walls only contain two subjects. Rose only ever talks about her father and grandparents. How could you be so fucking blind?

You crush the sponge in your hands, and bubbles seep out between your fingers. An apology is on the tip of your tongue, straining under the weight of your rapid thoughts. Day one, and you’ve already stepped on a mine. A phantom pain aches in your chest, grieving the loss of a love you never had in the first place. John says nothing. Continues to fry the fish in silence. Pops of oil like the rounds of a machine gun, but not loud enough to drown out the hammering of your heart.

Rose breaks the silent war. “I cleaned the counter. Can I check on the cookies?” she asks.

The apology dies on your tongue, and you tear your eyes away from John’s back, missing how the tension bleeds from his body. “Of course,” you say, placing the last dish on the drying rack. “Do you know how?”

“Nana showed me the buttons because I accidentally turned off the oven before,” Rose replies. She hands you her towel, and you lump it in the sink with yours. Rose walks up to the oven, and John moves to the side. You hang back, grappling with the temptation to steal a glance. You’re not sure what’s worse: John catching you staring or the disappointment of him not staring back. In the end, you decide to focus on Rose. She awes at the cookies and beckons you closer. You shuffle towards her, sticking close to the opposite side.“We should leave extra for the reindeer and elves who want some too!” 

You smile and pat her head. “Next time you can buy peppermint extract so they’ll taste like candy canes too!” you suggest. Rose’s eyes widen. She looks at you like you have the biggest brain in the world. Your confidence skyrockets, but a quick peek at John sends you plummeting back to Earth. You can’t read the expression on his face, and it worries you.

“They look so good! Santa will definitely grant my wish!” Rose’s comment piques your interest.

“What’s your wish?” you ask, crouching down to her level.

Rose glances at her father before lowering her voice. “I can’t tell you with Daddy around; it might make him sad.” Your jaw slackens. What could a child wish for that would make their parents unhappy?

Dinner is served, and the seating arrangement remains unchanged. True to John’s words, Rose devours her dinner. She even asks for seconds. “I’m a growing girl,” is all she responds with when she notices your amused expression.

The conversation consists of small talk. You learn they moved into the complex two years after you did. It’s honestly amazing how you didn’t run into them earlier. John doesn’t talk about his job, but he asks you plenty of questions about yours. You’re happy to answer. Glad to have something to talk about that won’t prod old wounds. Before you know it, you’re cracking jokes, and John is struggling to breathe. His laughter is intoxicating, and like an addict, you crave another dose. Rose watches the entire interaction with a broad smile, nibbling on her food as her eyes ping pong across the table.

John leans forward and hangs off your every word. Every ounce of his attention focused solely on you. You pause mid-story, caught up in the softness of his features. Before he can ask you what’s wrong, your phone vibrates in your pocket. You pull out the device to see it’s a text notification. The time on the screen reads 9:30 pm. It’s getting late, and from the way Rose slumps in her chair, she should be in bed soon.

“I should go. Rose looks like she’s about to pass out,” you say.

“M’not sleepy,” Rose argues, rubbing her eyes.

John rises from his seat. “I’ll clean up. Rosy, why don’t you say goodbye to our guest?”

Rose gets out of her chair with Mr. Bear and holds your hand, leading you to the entrance. John steps forward but stops himself. He turns to collect the dishes, and you walk away, feeling the heat of his gaze lingering on your back. 

As you’re slipping on your shoes, you ask Rose, “Now that it’s just us, do you want to tell me your wish?” She glances behind her. The faint sounds of porcelain clattering against metal travel along the corridor. 

“You can’t tell Daddy, but I don’t want him to be lonely. He doesn’t cry at night anymore when he thinks I’m sleeping, but he still looks like a raccoon in the morning,” Rose says, pinching an invisible zipper between her fingers and dragging it across her lips. You copy the gesture and even go as far as to mime turning a key and tossing it over your shoulder. You have a sneaking suspicion, but you don’t want to get your hopes up. 

Unlocking the door, you reach for the doorknob. “Wait,” John shouts, stopping you in your tracks. He jogs up to you and holds out a reusable takeout container and your bag of groceries. “I made too much. Take some leftovers with you.” You peer inside, and there’s a generous portion. How much did he cook?

“I’m tired. I’m getting ready for bed,” Rose suddenly announces.

John chuckles, “I thought you weren’t tired earlier?”

“That was earlier. I’m tired now.” Rose walks off to her room, mumbling to Mr. Bear. The only snippet you catch is something about ‘having a moment.’ You take the container and bag from John, fingertips touching. He doesn’t let go, and you’re left standing there awkwardly.

“Don’t feel bad about what happened earlier,” John says, withdrawing his hands and shoving them into his pockets. 

Earli—oh. Your cheeks tingle with warmth. You clear your throat and bring the container close to your chest. “I didn’t mean to pry, I just wanted….” You pause.

“Wanted what?” John asks, and his eyes are wide and pleading. He waits and doesn’t push. Watches as you chew on the inside of your cheek and avoid his gaze.

When you finally gather the courage to look at his face, tender eyes observe you. Does he feel the same? A wave of confidence washes over you, and you decide to take the risk. “To know if I have a fighting chance,” you say.

The corners of John’s lips boomerang up and then back down. His eyebrows draw together, and he almost looks… scared. “Love, I work in the military. I’m a single father. I don’t have much to offer,” John rasps, the words constricting his chest like a vine of thorns. His throat bobs, and he closes his eyes, steeling his body. Because bracing for impact is a natural human response in an attempt to lessen the damage of an imminent crash.

You smile softly. “And if I said I didn’t mind? That I’ll wait for you to come back and become Rose’s favourite while you’re gone?” John’s eyes snap open wide. He stares at you like you’re some sort of mythical creature; a being that can’t possibly exist in this world. Here is a man with his own baggage, who carries a burden on his shoulders that you will never comprehend. And you want to learn how to love him anyway. His expression softens, and he gravitates toward you.

“When I saw how you handle Rose, I didn’t think I could like you more than I already do,” John says.

Your ears perk. “You like me?” you ask. You didn’t think the attraction went both ways.

John rubs the back of his neck, and his cheeks flush. “Might have seen you use the elevator a few times… regularly,” he confesses. “I’ve liked you for a while.”

“And you never tried to say hello?” you tease him, placing a hand on your hip. The pain that flashes across his face is brief, but it stops you from continuing. You decide to change the topic. “Can I kiss you goodbye?” Your face engulfs in flames. “On the cheek, I mean!”

The pink dusting John’s face darkens. “Only if I get to kiss you—on the forehead,” he clarifies.

“Deal.” You place a quick peck on John’s cheek, his skin an inferno against your lips. He cups your face and leans in. It’s soft and leaves you tingling from head to toe. A laugh bubbles in your chest. You slap a hand to cover the dopey grin spreading across your face. “Sorry. I'm just really happy.”

John’s thumb caresses your cheeks. His blue eyes are sparkling. “So am I, Darling. Goodnight,” he says, leaning forward to plant another kiss. You close your eyes and make a content hum, basking in his warmth. 

John opens the door for you and leans against the doorframe after you step out. The hallway is relatively dark, and the lights from the apartment bathe him in an ethereal glow. A smile graces his features, and the current that threatened to pull you under has settled into gentle ripples. “Night, John,” you reply, waving goodbye. 

A smug grin stretches his smile, and he winks at you. “See ya later, Love.” 

You skip to your apartment. The door behind you doesn’t click shut until you disappear from sight. You head to the fridge first to store the leftovers. You find a note when you put away your groceries. Fishing out the paper, it reads: ‘Rose’s bedtime is 10 pm.’

The clock on your stovetop tells you it’s 9:50. 

Where did you put that expensive bottle of whiskey you bought years ago?

Bonus Scene:

John tucks his daughter into bed, pulling the blanket to her chin. “What else did you wish for, Rosy?” he asks. It’s become a tradition to figure out her Christmas present. He makes sure to ask her right before bed when he’s certain she won’t remember the conversation in the morning.

Rose snuggles into her pillow, hugging the stuffed bear close to her chest. Her voice is muffled and thick with sleepiness, but he hears it crystal clear. “A little sister.”

─── ⋆ ｡ﾟ☆: *. ☽ .* :☆ﾟ｡⋆ ───

End Note:

Happy early Valentine's Day! I can't wait to consume the Valentine-themed content for all the fandoms I'm in. Not related, but I saw a cowboy ghost render on IG and I think I'm going to have to go back to writing something for him ¯\_( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)_/¯

Time to drop off the face of the Earth for a month or two again.

I'll see you guys at my next hyperfixation! (。・∀・)ノ

Reblogs are appreciated!

[ask-the-royal-absol]

Linda@Flint: "You know you're actually right about this kid being funny." The dragoness chuckled as she points her thumb at Destino. "I hear he's gotten himself into shit a few times cause people take 'em the wrong way. But it sounds like you know a bit about this absol already. You probably know about this prophecy involving him too. But I'm gonna be honest..." She trailed off as she looked around the room, appreciating the size and décor. "I'm a bit more interested to hear about this kingdom you're running. How far would you say it reaches and how long have you been running it? If it's anything like this castle then I bet it's pretty impressive."

Flint: Them. You use them, don't you?

Destino: Sure do. Suits me better.

Flint: Thought so. So, you wanna know about the kingdom? Hey Magmar, could you get the maps please? It'd be easier to show off our kingdom with it.

Magmar: As you wish, your highness.

*With a bow, Magmar ran quickly off into one of the rooms located on the side. Flint continued from where he left off.*

Flint: I've been running this kingdom for a good 30 years now. Inherited it from my father. It was difficult to take his place, I'll admit that. He had a...notorious reputation. But hard work is enjoyable work and work I certainly have. This kingdom is now thriving better than it ever has done before. It has to be partially thanks to the Underdark for allowing us access to their ores. Without those, I imagine many Pokémon wouldn't evolve into their final forms or perhaps even know about them.

Destino: At least we get some appreciation.

Flint: Of course your kingdom does. Our success depends on your trade relations with us.

*Flint caught a glimpse of something emerging from Destino's fur. Something purple. It took him by surprise when this shape formed into that of a creature.*

*Hope stepped up beside her father, knowing he'd never actually seen a ghost type before.*

Hope: Yeah, that's Destino's best friend. Felix. He tagging along too. He's a ghost type.

Felix: And poison. Ghost and poison.

Destino: Felix, out.

Felix: Sorry pal.

*Felix carefully left Destino's fur, making sure to pat down any loose strands. He knew how much Destino liked to keep themselves well groomed and he didn't want to cause them anymore frustration. He levitated next to the Prime. The king tried to settle himself. It was hard to when a mysterious visitor decided to appear from the long mass of fur on Destino.*

Flint: Wow. A real ghost! An actual ghost! That's not something you see everyday! At least, not up here.

Felix: Ghost type. Not a ghost.

Flint: What's the difference?

Felix: Ya see, I ain't dead. Just have abilities that resemble those of spirits.

Flint: Fascinating! I'll have to pick at you for more information about that! Anyway, yes. We could very well mine elsewhere. That's true. However, I'd much rather have the miners know they're going to be able to mine some ore, even if it is a small quantity of it. If they went somewhere new because our trading system broke down somehow, it'd mean we wouldn't necessarily be certain a days worth of mining would harvest results. The guarantee for resources is more valuable and more cost effective for me and the mining companies I work closely with.

Destino: So, without access to our resources, you'd be screwed over? Ha, I knew our kingdom was valuable to the surface. Serves you lot right for locking us away.

Flint: This kingdom tried to fight for your freedom, kiddo. We just unfortunately failed.

Destino: Clearly you didn't fight hard enough then.

Flint: Type advantage is a powerful thing, Prime.

*With a stream of panting, Magmar appeared from behind the king, holding what looked to be a beautifully adorned tube.*

Flint: You did well! Don't you worry too much about it! Which one is this?

Magmar: Land map. I've got the city map rolled up in there too, incase you need it.

Flint: And that's why you're one of the best advisors I've ever had! Good lad! Let's crack this open!

*Flint took the tube with the tips of his claws, unscrewing the deep blue cap from it. With claws that big, there was a little struggle for those fine motor movements but Flint was able to eventually get it off. He gave one of the maps back to Magmar who delicately put it back in the engraved tube. Flint then unrolled the perfectly kept map. It was surprising how neat it looked. No tears, no wear marks, no ageing either. It looked almost brand new.*

Flint: Now this right here is the land you stand upon. We are right here.

*He pointed at the dot labeled 'Terrestria'.*

Flint: And the land all around it is the land I govern. You see those black lines? There the boundaries of my kingdom and will one day belong to Hope.

*Using his claws, he traced the upper right corner of the landmass marked on the map.*

Hope: One day. You've just gotta give me the title first.

Flint: Yeah. It'll come, don't you worry about that. Now, the most interesting part about this is the city is called Terrestria and the kingdom, so everything inside of this area, is also called that too. I'm honestly not sure of the reasoning for that, you'd have to ask a historian or something.

*Destino stared at the map, looking at all of the features it had to show. They saw the rocky structure their group appeared from. This kingdom was absolutely huge. Compared to the Underdark, this was massive. Ridiculously so. Imagine all of the resources this land had to offer. All the space that could be given to its citizens. Destino knew their parents obtained an ok amount of foods and other items from Terrestria though it was never enough to feed absolutely everyone. Considering the amount of trip their parents took, no wonder they decided to continue their trade relations with this kingdom. Destino felt as though their kingdom had been cheated out on more. If they had this much to offer, why wasn't the Underdark given more? There was a growing sense of anger inside of Destino. They had to keep it together.*

Flint: You'll also notice that it's the smallest kingdom compared to the others. There's debate on whether Mechania or Terrestria is bigger but Mechania does seem like the larger kingdom. Naaturo has the largest kingdom but that's because it does the majority of food production. Queen Pollen is incredibly good at keeping her food supply lines going for the rest of the kingdoms. Whimsain also has a substantial amount but they won all that during the Great Type War. Can't really shift the boundaries of our kingdom as we don't want another war going on but it'd be nice to get a little more land to work with. Hope that answers what you wanted to know.

Flint: That's right. It's not completely public knowledge so I'd keep it on the hush-hush when you're outside these castle walls.

Destino: Wait, nobody outside even knows about this?

Flint: Only certain Pokémon do. If we spread knowledge of this union around, it'll end up in the ears of the Whimsain lot and we'd be in a distortion of a lot of trouble. It'd mean we couldn't provide any of our end of the bargain to you.

Destino: My lips are sealed, Flinto. Dunno if I could trust any of these idiots with this information but you do you.

*Flint looked towards Gizmo and Mouse, determining whether they could be trusted with this. He was usually a pretty good judge of character and they didn't seem like the type to spread something like this around. Flint made a mental note to send a couple of spies to watch and observe them for any suspicious activity. With a sigh, he felt he could deal with the risk well enough.*

Flint: Our union was established around 400 years ago. King Alumin of Terrestria and King Estavior of the Underdark met when the Terrestrians were trying to find a new mining route and agreed on a collaboration between the two kingdoms would be beneficial between the both of them.

Flint: Estavior allowed Terrestrians access to their mines, which we found out later on was a guarantee to harvest ores for evolution stones. Alumin offered foods and other resources for this. Kind of him but it's really helped us out in the long run. We've been going strong since then. Ores are super useful for us as we've got the knowledge to turn them into evolution stones. The ores of these stones are incredibly dangerous when raw.

Destino: We had one of our citizens try to use one of the ores scattered around. She did not recover from the deformations caused. So much energy and power to be harnessed. Honestly, if I had an ounce of interest in the matter, I'd be curious as to how I could use that power for myself. A spotlight for my own. That could be good. Always showing the most important Pokémon in the room.

Hope: Of course you'd say that. Surely there could be other things that the energy produced could be used for rather than yourself?

Destino: And what would be the point of that? Honestly Hope, you're not thinking of the bigger picture here. A spotlight. For me. It's a fantastic idea.

Felix: Des, perhaps we should draw the focus back to the King? This is interestin' stuff.

Destino: And bring the conversation back to something dull? Come on Felix. You know it'd be far more interesting talking about how I would use these ores if I wanted to use them.

Flint: Point is, these ores are dangerous when not cut into shape and we're able to turn them into something useful for everyone. The trade union is something that benefits both sides, even with the danger of being discovered. Perhaps you should take more interest in your history, young Prime. If you don't learn about it, you may make mistakes which could lead to the downfall of your kingdom if you're not careful.

Destino: Me? Making mistakes? Ha, that's hilarious. I doubt it.

*The map of Arkaedia is now available.*

@askiceboundlopunny @masked-vee

(6/6 - No more questions for now.)

[talltalesandbedtimestories]

“Person of Interest” - Beau Arlen x Reader

Part 3 (Final) of the “Guardian of the Gulch” Series (Read Part 1 Here, Read Part 2 Here)

Rating Teen

Beau Arlen x Reader 

Tags: Fluff and Flirting, First Kiss (Finally! Get it Beau!)

Word Count: 2300

There's a new sheriff in town. And he just so happens to have parked his RV in your campgrounds. What's a park ranger to do with all that Texas charm strutting around on a fine pair of bow legs?

I'm participating in @jacklesversebingo and this part will fill my "Anonymous Gifts/Flowers" square.

Writing about Beau for the first time was so much fun. He's got such a sweet, gentle, charming, goofy way about him on the show. I am at least making sure in my story that Beau gets his kiss. (I have also been asked by a friend to maybe have a little "Big Sky After Dark" epilogue at some point. Will see.) I've gotten a lot of inspiration from my bingo card. Thoroughly enjoyed participating and hope to mark off every square... at some point.

Also, diving into Helena history for this date I came a lot of interesting facts and fun places along Last Chance Gulch Street.

Image created in Canva (credit for photo used: “Big Sky”/ABC)

Since you’d asked Beau out on a date - apparently, that was news to you - it was also up to you to pick the when and where. That was how he'd left it that night around the fire, anyway, with a wink and a smile. 

It had been a busy few days after the fourth of July for the both of you. But, you’d settled on a Sunday evening, crossing fingers there were no abductions or bank robberies.

There was never a dull moment in Helena.

You’d decided on a time and place. The plan was to meet at The Windbag Saloon and Grill. You sat at the bar, sipping your Huckleberry Mule.

Your eyes dart to the door every time it swishes open. When you finally spot him entering, a sharp inhale steadies you. The nerves that wound you up all day threaten to release fast enough to spin you like a top upon the stool.

His gaze skates over the scene once, twice. The double-take and zoning in on your face when he clocks you forces you to exhale. You wish it didn’t sound like a frightened puppy. Thank goodness he can’t hear it. Recollection fills his face, and that sunbeam smile melts you.

He takes the stroll over. You internally confirmed sitting at the farthest end of the bar was the right decision. It gives you ample time to enjoy the view of the sheriff and prepare to be devastated by all that handsome up close. 

He has a full, bouncy head of hair you’d kill for. Scratch that. You’d kill to run your fingers through it. His denim jacket with a fleece collar and hints of the warm and fuzzy liner has you imagining him offering it to you on a chilly walk. You only want to get a better look at the broad shoulders and chest underneath. The shine of his silver belt buckle directs you further south for probably a second longer than would have been appropriate to stare.

You sip a little more liquid courage.

“Did I get the time wrong?” he asks, confused and already looking apologetic when he meets you at the bar. He strums a few fingers on the countertop.

“Nope.” With a head shake, you offer the adjacent stool with an outstretched hand. “I was extra early. And you were early.”

He sighs and slides in beside you. “If you’re early, you’re on time. That’s what I was taught, anyway.”

“Slow day at the office?” you ask.

The bartender drops a coaster and a napkin in front of Beau and asks what he’s having. He requests a beer, then returns to your question in a flash. “Not particularly. Why do you ask?”

You decide to try the all-knowing approach. “You had time to have flowers delivered to Linda Devonshire.”

The caught-off-guard smirk gives him away. “Me? Flowers to Linda?” He tuts. “Why would I send flowers to a married woman?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Probably because you were as ecstatic as everyone else in the park, knowing she was packing up and heading back home. I’ll bet you had the date circled on your calendar.” You spin in the seat a fraction. Inadvertently, you swish a knee over his denim-covered thigh while attempting to cross your legs.

He reacts a fraction to the touch, staring at the floor between you. His lips purse, and his brows lower. “Well, being as happy as the rest of those in Black Sandy State Park is not enough motive to suspect I’m the one that sent the flowers. Not very good detective work. Need a little more proof to convict.”

“Hm.” You shrug and wait for him to prod you more for your reasoning.

Instead, he licks his lips and smiles. “I didn’t recognize you dressed as a civilian.”

You straighten up and toss the hair back over your shoulder dramatically. “Didn’t think I could clean up this well?”

He shakes his head, all serious. “Nah. I just didn’t think you could get any prettier.”

That shuts you up.

~

“Yellowfin?” The server asks the both of you, now at a table after finishing your first round of drinks at the bar.

Your hand raises.

After the sandwich plate lands in front of you, the server confirms to Beau, “And the Vigilante for you?”

Beau nods, rubbing hands together, taking in the contents of his meal with high brows. “Yes, indeed.”

“Anything else right now?”

Beau points to you in wait, but you shake your head.

“All good for now, thanks,” he answers.

You groan, looking at Beau’s burger. “There is so much going on over there.”

He lifts the bun. “Yeah. Candied jalapenos. Grilled ham and onions. An over-easy egg.”

“Not to mention the half-pound of beef underneath all that.”

He resituates the bun and wiggles it in place. “Don’t forget the huckleberry barbecue sauce. I may regret it later. Worth it.”

You laugh. “I hope so, for your sake. Otherwise, this may be a pretty early night.”

He chuckles. “I don’t think anything could mess up tonight. Even my poor menu choices.”

The certainty in his voice makes you smile. “Kind of surprising you haven’t stumbled onto this spot yet since you’ve been in town. Considering how close it is to the sheriff’s office.”

“Well, the Boot Heel is where I usually end up with Hoyt and Cassie.”

You nod. “There’s a lot of history along Last Chance Gulch Street. Worth checking out and getting acquainted. Being the new sheriff in town and all.” You bite into a french fry.

“Hey, I did some research.” He clamps his large, beefy hands around the large, beefy burger. “This street was between a bunch of mining claims, where a lot of gold prospectors got rich.” He nods and confirms, “Give me a second with this, if you don’t mind?”

You laugh and wave both hands in permission. “Of course.”

He bites down and chews. Eyes close. Deep in thought. “Oh, yeah,” he mumbles around the burger. “This was the worst idea in the best way.”

“Take it easy there.” You try to jest. Truthfully, you wouldn’t mind sitting back and enjoying the show.

He swallows and sips on his second beer. “Man, it’s good I walked ten minutes from the office. I’m gonna need fresh air to clear my head and some exercise after all this.”

“Maybe I can interest you in a little walk down Last Chance Gulch after this.” Your suggestion raises his cheeks with a grin. You add, “History lesson and all that to accompany your calorie burning.”

“I’d like that.” He dabs the barbecue sauce off the corner of his mouth. He thumbs towards the outside of the restaurant. “Know who the lady is on The Windbag sign?”

“Oh, that’d be ‘Big Dorothy’.”

“Big Dorothy, huh? She the original owner?”

“Not of the saloon. She ran a business on these premises. Got closed down in 1973.” You sample your sandwich and watch Beau enjoy another bite of his burger. You wait until he’s thoroughly invested in the act, swallow, and then continue. “It was a brothel.”

His face stills in mid-chew.

You giggle.

He exaggerates his munching for a few seconds more.

“The place was called ‘Dorothy’s Rooms’. She was actually very well respected in Helena. Donated to lots of charities, and then the police had to go and raid her establishment and shut it all down. You may wanna tread lightly, Sheriff. Dorothy’s ghost might not appreciate your kind under her roof.”

“Noted.” He clears his throat.

~

Your guided walking tour doesn’t have the intended effect of calorie burning. Instead, you sit with Beau in a green wooden booth at The Parrot Confectionery. You’re splitting a Parrot Special Sundae.

“Oh, man.” Beau indulges in his first spoonful. It’s wondrous to behold how much enjoyment the man has with his food. 

The evening has been filled with light and easy conversation to start. Lots of laughter mixed with information gathering from both of you as the date wore on. You spill about your life, years back, out west. You aren’t ready to divulge much about the relationship you left behind except the marriage had not worked out as expected. Beau’s a bit guarded as well with specific details. Something had happened on the job, though, in Houston. Something alarming enough to have him quit the force. And you think it might be one of the reasons he was now divorced.

Beau’s eyes sparkle. “I’ll have to take Em here.”

You nod. “Definitely.” He lights up every time he talks about his daughter. It’s sweet and makes him even more endearing. It almost makes you feel bad thinking naughty thoughts as his tongue laboriously licks the fudge off his spoon.

“Gotta say, darlin’, it feels like you’ve given me the key to the city tonight.”

“And plenty of indigestion.”

“I told ya. Worth it,” he insists. It’s his turn to watch you eat a few spoonfuls. You focus on the strawberry scoop. He seems to gravitate toward the huckleberry flavor and completely avoid the split banana underneath it all.

“Well, we could walk a little more to the end of the street after this,” you suggest. “I mean, the old fire tower is down that way. But you’ve gotta know about that. Impossible to miss.”

“Oh, yeah, I know all about the Guardian of the Gulch.”

You smile. “Did I forget to mention that Linda Devonshire dropped off the flowers she got to the ranger’s office before she left?”

The spoon Beau is holding clinks the sundae bowl. “You did forget to mention that.”

You swirl your spoon in the vanilla. “Well, she thanked us and said the flowers would probably hold up better staying with us than the trek back home. And she also read the note aloud to see if we had any idea who the anonymous sender was.”

Beau sighs. “Of course she did.”

You tap a finger on your chin. “What was it exactly? Oh, yes. The note said, ‘Thank you for your excellent matchmaking skills. ~ a Guardian of the Gulch’. She was completely perplexed by it. Said she hadn’t gone out of her way to coordinate any dates or encounters in Helena. Didn’t know anyone well enough for that. But we did get to hear about how she’s introduced about a dozen people to their current spouses in her home state.”

Beau lifts both shoulders. A sheepish smile forms. “If it hadn’t been for Linda’s complaints, I might not have gotten all those chances to get to know you a little better. And we wouldn’t be sitting here now.”

“This all sounds very silver lining thinking.”

“I try. On occasion.”

~

You roll into a parking spot in the lot behind the Sheriff’s office, engine idling. Beau’s in the passenger seat.

“Well, I hope I didn’t keep you out too late.” He leans into the backrest. A couple of creaks emit from his spine. “I appreciate you walking with me up and down Last Chance Gulch after dessert. Between the beer and the beef and the banana split, every step counts.”

You smile. “This was nice. We should do it again sometime.” He opens his mouth, but you cut him off, “I know, you accept.”

The warmth of his fingers gliding over yours, gripping the steering wheel, tingles your skin. Half in the night’s shadow, his face scolds with scrunched lips and slitted lids. “Give a man a chance to ask you out properly, would ya?”

You laugh to soothe your nerves. “I didn’t realize I’d asked you out again. Hell, I didn’t realize I’d asked you out the first time.”

He tilts his head. “I may have pulled the trigger on that one. Guess I’m finding it hard to be patient when it comes to…” He trails off, quiets, and looks serious. You realize he’s staring at your mouth.

“Sheriff!”

You both flinch in your seats. Deputy Poppernak is heading towards the passenger side of your car. Beau straightens, and you oblige the greeting and roll down his window.

“Hey, Poptop.” Beau razzes.

“Thought you’d left hours ago.” Poppernak halts five feet from the car, spots you, and waves. “How’s things going, Ranger?”

“Just fine, Deputy. How about you?” you ask.

“Can’t complain. Done for the day after a lot of paperwork. Headin’ home.”

The three of you nod in unison for an uncomfortably long amount of time.

“Okay.” Poppernak offers a friendly salute. “Night.”

You watch the deputy hop into a family van and drive off rather quickly.

“Well,” Beau sighs, “this is gonna be all over the office in the morning.”

“This?” you question. Beau eyes you. “How do you think they’re gonna classify this?”

He smiles. “Well, I guess this would be me spending some time with a person of interest. And actually, I think I’m gonna need to spend a lot more time with this person of interest. So, would you give me the pleasure of taking you out on another date, darlin’?”

All you can do is nod. His mossy green eyes sparkle. Cool fingertips round the shell of your ear. You shiver as he traces your jawline, moving in to close the gap. And then, nothing but you breathing in his warmth as he exhales softly into the kiss. It’s gentle and careful. But he tests how your lips fit and press against each other from a few angles. He settles for a spell and feasts on your mouth.

He pulls away. His fingers trail from your chin after a sweet pinch. “Are you free next weekend?”

You nod, dazed.

He grins. “Good. I’ll pick you up at your place if you’re comfortable with that?”

You nod again.

“Thank you for the ride.” He hops out of the car and closes the door with a soft click. Leaning into the still-open window he leaves you with, “Be careful headin’ home.”

“You too, Beau.”

He smiles from ear to ear, taps the window sill, and walks to his jeep. You can’t help but wait until he slides into the driver’s seat and gives you a wave. You shift into drive and leave the lot.

You can’t remember much of the actual ride home. Your mind is filled only with thoughts of Sheriff Beau Arlen. They make you smile. Hum along to the radio. You’re light as a feather and full of hope for what’s to come.

All because of a Guardian of the Gulch.

~ The End ~

[cabinofimagines]

Chapter IV; convincing

So it took a while, but at some point I realised I wanted to finish writing at least arc one before posting the rest so oops.

Word Count: 1.2k

<- prev - mlist - next ->

-Asnyox

You both re-entered the clearing, followed closely by an overly excited Mrs. O’Leary. 

"No problem, I've got worse enemies than overweight satyrs." You overheard Percy saying. Nico was the first of you two to speak up, letting your presence be known to the demigod and tree nymph. 

"Good job, Percy. Judging from the trail of goat pellets, I'd say you shook him up pretty well." You could see clearly that Percy was nervous as he tried to smile. You were aware that Nico had made it pretty clear to Percy what his plan was, and if you were in this kid’s shoes you would have been nervous too. Luckily, you were just an idiot tagging along in the plan.

"Welcome back. Did you come by just to see Juniper? And who is your friend?" Nico blushed and you wondered whether it was about the friend thing, or about Juniper.

"This is (Y/n), and um, no. That was an accident. I kind of . . . dropped into the middle of their conversation." Blushing out of embarrassment then, you inwardly cheered. He also did not deny the friend comment you happily noted.

"He scared us to death!" Juniper said. "Right out of the shadows. But, Nico, you are the son of Hades and all. Are you sure you haven't heard anything about Grover?" Nico shifted his weight. Ah, she must have been crying worried over her lover. You had caught some of the stories around camp, however you did not know any of these people personally, so you tended to mind your own business. 

"Juniper, like I tried to tell you . . . even if Grover died, he would reincarnate into something else in nature. I can't sense things like that, only mortal souls." "But if you do hear anything?" she pleaded, putting her hand on his arm. "Anything at all?" Nico's cheeks got even brighter red. "Uh, you bet. I'll keep my ears open." 

"We'll find him, Juniper," Percy promised. "Grover's alive, I'm sure. There must be a simple reason why he hasn't contacted us." She nodded glumly. "I hate not being able to leave the forest. He could be anywhere, and I'm stuck here waiting. Oh, if that silly goat has gotten himself hurt—" Mrs. O'Leary bounded back over and took an interest in Juniper's dress. Juniper yelped. "Oh, no you don't! I know about dogs and trees. I'm gone!" She went poof into green mist. You gaped at her disappearance, never having gotten close to a tree nymph before. 

Mrs. O'Leary looked disappointed, but she lumbered off to find another target, leaving Nico, Percy and me alone. Nico tapped his sword on the ground. A tiny mound of animal bones erupted from the dirt. They knit themselves together into a skeletal field mouse and scampered off. You were impressed by his control, but truly you felt as if this shouldn’t have come as a surprise. 

"I was sorry to hear about Beckendorf." Nico said and you downcast your gaze, having heard the news quiet recently. This was one of the first people from camp that you knew who died, and the news had taken a toll on camp. 

"How did you—" Percy started, and you were reminded that he was there with Beckendorf on the ship. "I talked to his ghost." So the rumours about Nico’s powers were true – he could actually converse with the dead. "Oh . . . right." "Did he say anything?" 

"He doesn't blame you. He figured you'd be beating yourself up, and he said you shouldn't." "Is he going to try for rebirth?" Nico shook his head. 

"He's staying in Elysium. Said he's waiting for someone. Not sure what he meant, but he seems okay with death." You weren’t sure how to feel about these developments, but before you could give it much thought Percy started talking again.

"I had a vision you were on Mount Tarn," he told Nico. "Was that—" 

"Real," Nico said. "I didn't mean to be spying on the Titans, but I was in the neighbourhood." "Doing what?" 

Nico tugged at his sword belt. "Following a lead on . . . you know, my family." Percy nodded. You side eyed your friend, wanting the ask for an elaboration. However, you had felt him close the moment Percy started asking questions to him. You had heard a whisper about a sister, but there was nothing you could go off from. Nico was a mystery to you and you wished you could unravel it. 

"So how did it go?" Percy asked. "Any luck?" 

"No," he murmured. "But I may have a new lead soon." 

"What's the lead?" 

Nico chewed his lip. "That's not important right now. You know why I'm here." You saw Percy’s face fall. You knew Nico wanted you to help convince Percy, but you had barely exchanged a word with the son of Poseidon before. What were you supposed to do? Tell him you would safe him from being stabbed? 

"Nico, I don't know," Percy said. "It seems pretty extreme." 

"You've got Typhon coming in, what . . . a week? Most of the other Titans are unleashed now and on Kronos's side. Maybe it's time to think extreme." Nico looked towards you as to urge you to help him. You stepped forward. 

“If I may, Percy, “ you looked the son of Poseidon in the eye, surprised by the distrust in them, “I’ve been at camp since April – if Nico hadn’t brought me here I would have been dead and I know that even with how hard I – we – camp has been working,” you heard sounds of fighting in the distance, “I fear we are hardly a match for the Titan army.” Nico nodded in agreement. 

“This comes down to you and Luke. And there's only one way you can beat Luke We can give you the same power," Nico urged. "You heard the Great Prophecy. Unless you want to have your soul reaped by a cursed blade . . ." You hadn’t heard the prophecy fully yourself – around camp it was deemed a kind off taboo to mention or talk about.

“You can't prevent a prophecy," Percy said. 

"But you can fight it." Nico had a strange, hungry light m his eyes. "You can become invincible." 

"Maybe we should wait. Try to fight without—" 

"No!" Nico snarled. "It has to be now!" You were startled at his outburst – but you did agree with him. 

"Urn, you sure you're okay?" Percy asked and you threw him a wary look. 

“Percy, look,” you started as you noticed Nico taking a deep breath, “It will be significantly harder, maybe even impossible to take this journey when the fighting starts. Maybe even too late- if you want to prevent any more losses, deaths on our side you must go now.”

“I'm sorry if I'm being too pushy,” Nico’s gaze was strict towards Percy, “but two years ago my sister gave her life to protect you. I want you to honour that. Do whatever it takes to stay alive and defeat Kronos”

"All right," Percy decided. "What do we do first?"

[chaotic-on-main]

Chapter 8: June - Part 4 [NSFW]

☾ Pairings ➼ Levi Ackerman x fem!mute!Reader (she/her pronouns), set in a modern semi-fictional world

☾ Summary ➼ Due to childhood trauma, you find yourself an adult without the ability to speak. After years of working on it, you have found ways to live without a voice. Now here in your late 20s, you are 5 months in getting used to a new town. On a fateful day in late November, you and your adopted sister visit a local bookstore-café, unaware of the friendships about to blossom. Throughout the months, one friendship in particular develops into something more.

☾ Content/Warnings ➼ fluff, slowburn, oblivious feelings, romance, angst, mention of minor character deaths, trauma, illness, adoption, mentions of fire, disabilities, alcohol use, very light nsfw mentions, references to child abuse, smoking and alcohol abuse mentions, domestic violence, light assault, uhhh- sex? idk how to tag this kind of stuff. SPEAKING OF...

☾ Author's note ➼ Hehe, hi! I bet y'all never thought you'd see this tag OR BANNER on here ever. Tbh, I thought I would never see this tag or banner on any of my writings. But uhhhh- here we are! If it isn't obvious, this is my first time EVER writing smut. I've never even written self-indulgent smut before because it is REALLY HARD FOR ME TO DO. That's mainly why this chapter took so long (I'M SORRY); I wanted to make sure it was perfect. If you're a minor and read the smut I will find you and cut you! Hehe. Anyways. Again, I am so sorry this chapter took so long!! I've hit quite a rut in my life and I'm just really glad to have gotten it done in the first place. Let me know what y'all think!! ALSO CAN Y'ALL BELIEVE THERE'S ONLY ONE MORE PART LEFT HOLD ME I'M CRYING

☾ Word Count ➼ ~10.9k

The visual of Levi’s bewilderment haunts you just as much as the feeling of his lips on yours does. You’re not sure why you thought kissing your friend would be a good idea at all. Regret gnaws at you as you find yourself in a vicious cycle of rumination.

But it wasn’t all regret, was it? You wanted to kiss him. And you liked it.

Maybe it wasn’t regret at all, actually. What you really felt in your core was disappointment. At yourself for not thinking before acting and at him for not responding the way you inwardly hoped he would. If Levi’s cold shoulder this morning wasn’t proof enough, you don’t know what was.

“Love?” Hange’s voice cuts through the white noise reverberating through your skull. Slowly, you turn to where your sister currently sits with light green paste smeared all over their face. You blink the glassiness away and raise an eyebrow at them – which is a little hard to do as you have the same paste smudged on your face that is in the process of drying.

“Were you listening at all?” Concerned eyes bore into yours. You’d say you were thankful for the green tea facial that covers the dark circles under your lashes, but you knew Hange had noticed the moment they laid eyes on you today. They click their tongue and sit upright in your direction.

“What’s going on in that head of yours?”

‘What do you mean?’

“You look like you didn’t sleep a wink last night and you have been out of it all day. What are you thinking about?”

‘It’s nothing. Just had trouble sleeping.’

“You’re only restless when you have something on your mind.”

You stick your bottom lip out. In truth, you really did want to talk about it, but you weren’t sure what you wanted to say. Hange wasn’t the type to let things go when it came to you though, especially when you’re distressed. You’d need to say something now whether you liked it or not.

‘I like Levi.’ You sign quickly, averting your gaze from the piercing light-brown eyed stare burning holes in your face. You sigh softly and tuck your chin in the white fluffy robe that wraps around your body, ignoring the fact that you’re wiping the face mask off into the fabric as you do. It takes them a moment to realize you’re not planning on saying anything else.

“And that’s upsetting?” They laugh and relax back into the plush cushions. “That’s nothing new. I’ve known for a long time.”

Your eyes cut over to Hange again at that, wide in shock.

‘You knew? How? Since when?’

“I know when someone’s smitten. And you my darling? You are smitten like a kitten.” They roll their head in your direction as they speak, eyes sparkling. “Probably since February.”

Was it that early?

‘Can you be specific?’ You feel your face heat up from under the thick mask.

“If only you had a mirror. You should see the way you look at Levi. It’s so obvious, even Nanaba picked up on it.” They smirk as they twist in your direction, resting their chin on a hand that sits propped up on the armrest. A wide smile carved up and into their eyes.

“What happened last night anyways that made you discover this known secret?” Hange already knew, they had to have. Their demeanor changed from worried to curious in the blink of an eye.

‘Nothing.’ You sit back in a huff, closing your eyes.

You hear Hange sigh softly but doesn’t press for the next half hour. Your body sinks deeper into the plush massage chair as your head sits back on the head rest. Off to the side, you hear the soft babbling of the fountain piece that pairs wells with the gentle spa music that floats from the ceiling speakers down to your ears. Your brain wanders and you feel the heaviness that comes with sleep about to settle in.

“Excuse me?” A sudden voice startles you. You pop an eye open to see a spa employee in mint robes standing in front of the chairs you and Hange were relaxing in. “It’s time to move on to the hot pools, are you both ready?”

“Oh yes!! I’ve been looking forward to this part.” Hange exclaims, practically throwing themselves out of the chair.

.

The steamy mineral water stings your skin upon first contact. It wasn't uncomfortably hot, but it was close. It takes you a few seconds to get used to it and before you know it, you’re sinking low until your nose is submerged. Only your eyes and up show, like a crocodile floating as it hunts. You had put your hair up so that it wouldn’t get wet, but a few loose strands decide they want to get wet anyways as they float around your face.

Your sister, on the other hand, does not take the gentle approach. Before you know it, they’re running down the ramp ass naked. They throw themselves into the water when they get deep enough, throwing water straight in your face. Luckily, the pools are slotted out by appointments so it’s just the two of you in the small, enclosed room. They disappear for a second, submerged in the water leaving only ripples behind that float across the top.

“Are you going to tell me what happened now?” Hange’s low voice comes from right next to you, causing your heart to skip a beat. Despite the unnerving crawl of your skin, you side eye them and shake your head.

Their words bounce around in your skull. If even Nanaba picked it up, that would mean Levi knew too, right? Is that why he brushed you off this morning? This wouldn’t be the first time that he’s held things back from you, but you hoped that had changed in the last handful of months. A fleeting thought of going to him first zooms through your mind and disappears just as quickly.

“Did he kiss you?” Hange’s voice is so close that you feel the heat of their breath blowing right against your ear. You push back from instinct, swatting the water and subsequently splashing them in the face.

“Oh my, he definitely did. Look at your face!” Hange muses as they tread up closer to your face and there’s half a foot between noses. You shove at the tops of their shoulders and blow them a raspberry. They were ever persistent.

‘If you must know, he didn’t kiss me.’ You’re suddenly focused on the waterspout sitting opposite of you on the wall.

“Damn. I was rea-“

‘I kissed him.’

“Wha-?! You?!”

Without another word, you turn your back on their open-mouthed stare and head for the sitting ledge in the back corner. Steam rises off your warm skin as you do, merging easily with the rest of the hot air. Hange follows, mumbling under their breath as they process the news. When you twist to sit down, you’re face to face with Hange as they squat into the water across from you.

“I’m guessing by your reactions, it didn’t go well?”

‘He pulled away and gave me a weird look.’

“What did he say after?”

You don’t answer that, instead you slide into the water until you’re halfway submerged again. The hot water tingles against your raw face, making you wince until the uncomfortable feeling subsides. A few bubbles burst on the surface from your released huff.

“You didn’t give him a chance to, did you?” They raise an eyebrow at you. The amusement that tugged at their features melted away to reveal concern. You raise your hands out of the water, water droplets falling back in with little splashes.

‘He pulled away quickly and gave me a look that didn’t really scream “yay”. What was I supposed to do?’

“Sit and talk to him like the adult you are?” More bubbles pop at the surface as your eyes narrow at them.

‘What if he doesn’t want to talk? Or even see me? Or be my friend anymore?’

“Well, did he kiss back?”

‘I don’t know. I can’t remember. A lot was happening.’

“I imagine he did. He likes you too, you know.”

You roll your eyes at that. Maybe he did, maybe he didn’t. But that doesn’t change the shocked expression that he stared at you with before you ran off for the night. You feel the pressure of his lips on your mouth again and it makes your heart skip a beat. How confusing this all was.

“Want me to make him talk to you?” Hange says with a smirk on their lips.

‘Don’t even think about it. He’ll just kill both of us.’ You flick water in their direction at which they chuckle at it.

“Just give it some time, you’ll figure it out. But probably not too much time because this was a friend group before you both decided to catch feelings and I will not have this group break apart because you both want to be teenagers about it all.” They shrug their shoulders at that.

‘What happens if we never talk again?’

“Not allowed. I’ll lock you two in a room if I have to. Oh wait, maybe I should do that? Then you’ll either talk, fight, or kiss again.” They ramble on, tapping a forefinger on their chin as they think. Their eyes shoot over to yours, wide and full of excitement.

“If you both start dating, it’s for the long run by the way. Marriage or nothing. I can’t risk the friend group falling apart.” They joke. Part of you thinks there’s a bit of truth in their words but you let it slide. The prospect of marriage though? Was it your face heating up at the thought or the hot water?

You give them an exasperated look despite it all, offering them a thumbs down as well.

“I’m only half joking. You and him will figure something out eventually. Who knows, maybe it’s all a misunderstanding! You’re shy and he’s… well. Him. Maybe you just need to make the first move.” They offer you a small smile, their eyes softening again.

 That fleeting thought from earlier comes back. Again, Hange’s words held some truth as they always do. You already made the first move and that didn’t work out the way you planned. But If Levi didn’t know to come to you, maybe you would have to open that door for him, granted he doesn’t slam it in your face. You decide you’ll do what you can to pull him aside tonight.

.

Much to your dismay, the appointment ends too quickly. Fortunately, Hange kept up with their promise of taking you shopping since there were a few hours until it was time to meet up with the boys who were no doubt still out golfing. You laugh at the idea of Levi standing on the greens with a signature bored expression, but then you remember you were supposed to be anxious. You don’t know what you’re going to say to him.

After a while, you forget your worries for a time. Hange finds a really nice pantsuit that frames their tall body well. You found a simple sundress that frills out on your waist in a color that your sister exclaimed matched your eyes so well. And it was nice being able to chat, that feeling of dread that coursed through your veins like ice forgotten.

That is until you’re standing in front of Levi with your hands twisting in each other – a nervous habit you picked up just recently. The fabric of your dress feels like it’s digging into your skin as you stand awkwardly, your heart feeling as if it might explode. He doesn’t even look your way, eyes glued to his phone as he mindlessly scrolls. The idea of getting him to talk to you falters.

He's wearing a slate gray dress shirt in a complementary shade for his eyes. The sleeves are rolled up to his elbows neatly. The rest of his outfit is clean yet casual and perfect for the place Erwin had reserved. Some of his hair falls in his face as he continues to look down, ignoring the fact that Erwin was calling everyone to attention.

“Are we ready to go? The taxi is here.” Erwin gives you and Hange a once over when he looks up from his phone. “Wow, you both look like you had a good day - practically glowing.” He gives you a beaming smile and you force one back in return, feeling the quivering of your muscles as your lips pull back.

Levi glances up finally and his dark eyes scan the room. When they land on you, they linger for a second longer before he looks away as he pulls himself up from the barstool. You did not miss the subtle surprise that flashed across his face as well as his eyes flickering down to the sakura necklace you put back on for this evening. You had taken it off the last few days to keep it safe, something you were not used to doing before. You almost sighed in relief when you felt the familiar and subtle weight around your neck again.

The car ride to the restaurant was fortunately short but to you, it was agonizing the whole time. Erwin opted for the front seat to help direct the driver so that left you, Hange, and Levi in the back. Your sister forced you in the middle and they claimed it was for safety reasons but you knew better.

Your almost bare thigh sits against Levi’s after you all piled in, snug as can be. You pull your arms together so that you’re not squishing into Levi any more than you have to. He’s facing the window, arm propped up and leaning against it as he looks out. You spend the whole ride rehearsing what you wanted to say to him.

When the taxi parks in front of the restaurant, you take a deep breath. It was now or never, you tell yourself. You force yourself out of Levi’s side after he slides out, having to push the door as he almost shuts it in your face.

You’re able to reach far enough to grab his wrist to make him stop and he spins on you quickly, eyes flaring with annoyance – barely softening when he notices it’s you. It takes all of your strength to keep your fingers latched on to him despite the look on his face. After a moment, he helps you out of the car with that same hand, making sure to keep you steady as you almost trip on the curb.

‘Can we talk?’  You sign quickly.

He considers you, eyebrows pinched the way they do.

“Tch. We don’t have time, Hange and Erwin are waiting for us.” He finally grumbles back, eyes aimed at the retreating figures now walking through the double glass doors. He turns on his heels and leaps up the stairs, leaving you and your hurt feelings at the bottom.

So much for trying.

Even in your sour mood, you still appreciate how beautiful the restaurant is from the outside. It’s very high end with a large crystal chandelier peeping out of the tall windows that make up the majority of the front wall. The railings of both sides of the stairs are adorned with growing vines and colorful flowers. A simple sign in neat cursive hangs above the front doors, reading ‘La Crevette’. You raise an eyebrow at that but say nothing before making your way into the air-conditioned interior alone.

The inside is even better. The gold inlay that decorates the white marble adds a delicate and elegant tone. On the walls sit ceiling high mirrors that you can’t help but stare in as your eyes scan the new surroundings. You catch Levi’s eyes in the reflection before he turns away to follow the hostess who is now leading you all to your designated table.

To say that the atmosphere at the table was so tense you could cut it with a knife would have been an understatement. You find yourself sitting across from Levi - at least 5 feet away. The chill emanating from him makes you shiver and you wish you had brought a jacket with you.

Orders were already taken so now you sit in silence as Hange and Erwin compare the activities they both did today. Levi’s fingers drum against the clothed table as he stares out the window to the left of you. It looks out into the ocean, the setting sun painting the sky, those beautiful oranges and pinks that you liked so much. You fidget with the napkin that sits across your lap in tight fingers as you stare. Erwin calls your name.

“So how did you like the spa? Did they take care of you as well?” His clear eyes stare into yours with interest.

You smile politely and nod, signing along saying ‘They did, it was quite luxurious. Thank you for setting it up for us.’ He smiles back and chuckles.

“Hange said the baths were really nice. We might have to stop by one before we leave town, huh Levi?” The attention is now diverted onto a very bored looking Levi. He only hums in response, shrugging his shoulders as well.

‘You look like you got quite a bit of sun today.’ Your smile wavers as you eye him. There’s a soft flush across his cheeks as well as his nose and forehead. His gaze flickers up to you and you think you spot conflict in his steely eyes.

“I forgot a hat.” He says back, his curt tone a little too sharp for you. You pretend to not hear it. Your eyes fall onto your water glass after that, Hange and Erwin going back to talking about the other things they did today.

By the time dinner comes and disappears, the tense atmosphere barely stagnates. You sense Erwin and Hange can feel it too, but they don’t say anything. The only things you’re given are looks, ranging from curiosity to what you imagine is understanding. You don’t blame them though, this is really something that you and Levi need to hash out. Anxiety gnaws at your chest as you continue to pull on the thin fabric of your dress.

Eventually, the waiter comes with the check and hands it over to Erwin per his request - you all knew better than to argue with him about it. When Erwin hands the black book back with his card of choice, the waiter takes it and leans over to start gathering dishes out of the way. As he reaches from behind you, the feeling of his sleeve brushing against the side of your neck makes you stiffen up. When he pulls away, a small pop resonates by your ear.

The lack of weight around your neck is instantaneous. You watch in silent horror at your favorite necklace plopping into your lap softly. Everything goes quiet as you pick up the chain in shaky fingers, almost losing the sakura pendant as you do. The sight of the delicate golden chain now broken in a place that would not be an easy fix makes you feel like someone is stepping on your chest - crushing you.

You feel hot tears rolling down your face and you blink hard a few times. You’re in too much shock to make a sound. The waiter’s incessant apologies come muffled as realization dawns on you. You should have kept it tucked away and safe. You shouldn’t have kissed Levi. This necklace is you and Levi right now. Broken necklace, broken friendship. Your fault. All of it is your fault.

Placing it on the table gently, you force another sweet smile, one that closes your eyes and you feel more tears pressing out as you do.

‘I’m going to get some air.’ You sign.

Before anyone can protest, you push your chair out and away from the table, bumping into the still apologizing waiter. You sign a few hard apologies yourself before running down the ramp to the host station and out the front doors. Your feet take off down the street in the direction of the condo, tears streaming still but not a single sob escaping your lips.

A hand closes around your wrist, the force of your speed almost knocking you back as someone holds you still. The firm grip is telling enough that you don’t have to look around to see who it is, but you do anyway. Levi is out of breath from running after you, chest heaving and hair windswept.

“Where are you going?” His voice is stern and laced with annoyance.

You only shake your head in response, still feeling the tears rolling down your cheeks and off your chin. You have no energy left for a fake smile and his subtle annoyance feels like another knife in the chest. You’re not sure if it was the exhaustion, the necklace, or Levi, but you feel inexplicable rage boiling over. Ripping your arm out of his grip, you start signing roughly.

‘Why are you here?’

“I’m worried about you. You’re upset.” His steely eyes cut into yours, narrowing.

‘You could have fooled me. It seems to me you want nothing to do with me, ignoring me the way you have all day. What do you want?’ He flinches at that, surprised by your less than normal aggression.  

“I-I’m sorry. I just don’t…” He runs his fingers through his hair, pushing it back and out of his face. He stumbles through his words, something you’ve never seen him do. But you can’t think about that right now, your patience is thinning and you can’t face him if he still refuses to acknowledge the hurt he’s dealt to you even if he didn’t realize it.

‘‘I can’t fix it.’ You sign shakily, fingers fumbling over each other.

“I’ll take a look at it. And if it’s not fixable, I can just get you a new one.” It dawns on you that Levi doesn’t understand, and you’re not certain if he ever did.

‘I’m not talking about the necklace, Levi!’ You’re in the middle of the sidewalk slamming your hands together as people rush past you two. As always, it feels as if it’s just you and Levi and everyone else are blurring streaks in the background. This time, it doesn’t feel as pleasant.

He doesn’t say anything back, choosing to stare with his lips parted as if he wanted to.

‘Why won’t you just talk to me? I thought you trusted me with yourself.’

“I do. Trust you, I mean.”

‘Then talk to me!’

“It’s not that simple.”

‘Right.’ You don’t give Levi a chance to refute as you turn around swiftly and start off in the direction of the condo, head hung low as you do your best to sniffle quietly. Fortunately, no one looks your way as you shuffle down the sidewalk.

Different layers of pain pile on your shoulders and you’re not sure how you’re going to get out from under them. The worst of them all seems to seep into your heart in a heavy way, weighing you down so much that you’re surprised you make it back to the elevator of the condo without collapsing. When the doors shut in front of you, you allow yourself to finally fall apart like you’ve been wanting to all day, sobs racking from deep within your chest.

.

The moment you get into the bedroom, you slam the door behind you and prep for bed. The lingering sunlight filters through the room, painting the room gold. You didn’t care what time it was, you just knew you were ready to pass out from the day.

As you loosen your hair from the multitude of pins sticking in it, you stare at yourself in the bathroom mirror. Your eyes are bloodshot, the skin around them puffy. At least you don’t have to do much since your tears broke down most of the makeup already, only needing the gentle swipe of a cloth. The moment after you slip on your sleepwear, you toss yourself into the soft sheets of your temporary bed and curl in on yourself.

The hurt from last night comes back tenfold. Only this time, frustration burns under your skin. Before you know it, nightmares come to you in the form of dark slate grays.

The next time your eyes open, they’re met with darkness. You’re not sure if the moon decided to stay away or if the clouds had rolled in during your slumber, but regardless your vision is pitch-black. Soft snoring to your right indicates that Hange had made it back and is currently deep in sleep. You vaguely recall hearing them calling out to you when they came back shortly after you fell asleep.

Rolling onto your back, you are greeted with the dim red light from the alarm clock illuminating the ceiling. You imagine it’s quite late in the night considering how refreshed you feel despite the lingering melancholy from dinner.

With a huff, you sit up and swing your legs off the bed. Your bare feet hit the cool, hard floor and you make quick yet quiet work of sneaking out of the bedroom. You know Hange could sleep through anything, but you did not want to suffer on the off-chance they woke up – you were not prepared to face them right now.

After closing the bedroom door, you pad over to the fridge and pull it open. The only drink options were a couple of beers and a handful of caffeinated sodas. You wish you had a cup of Levi’s tea in your hands, but instead you opt for water from the filtered pitcher. After taking a tentative sip of it, you decide that going back to sleep was not an option for you. You kick yourself for potentially screwing up your sleep schedule for the rest of the trip but that was a problem for future you.

With a cold glass in hand, you step over to the plush couch and sink into it. Grabbing the remote in the other, you turn it on and flinch as you’re met with a loud commercial about an action movie coming out soon. Quickly, you turn the volume down to one and sit still as you listen for any sounds of your roommates – luckily it stays silent. You sigh softly.

You pull over a blanket from the other side of the couch and tuck yourself in. You let your mind wander for a bit as a random movie starts to play, the low volume buzzing in the background. Thankfully, your thoughts stay away from Levi. That is, until you watch as a teacup is placed down on the glass coffee table in front of you with a clink as well as delicate fingers pulling away from the handle.

Blinking the glassiness from your vision, your eyes trail up the muscular arm that belongs to a weary-eyed Levi. His gaze shifts away quickly as he lowers himself on the other side of the couch as far as possible from you. He lifts his own teacup to his lips and takes a small sip, eyes forward on the movie ahead.

He doesn’t say anything to you, which you’re not certain if you should be grateful for, or annoyed. You were thinking about wanting some of his tea earlier, but now that it’s here, you’re torn between indulging him or not. As your eyes narrow on the steam that rises off the amber liquid, Levi pipes up finally.

“I didn’t poison it, if that’s what you’re wondering.” He mumbles. You flicker your eyes over to him, but his gaze stays glued to the TV in front.

You let out a soft huff and reach for it, taking the handle in between two fingers and pulling it up to your mouth. Upon the first sip, you withhold a sigh of content. Levi always knew how to make a mean cup of tea. But you won’t say that to him right now. You’re still fuming, tea or no. With that thought, you down it the best you can despite the scorching heat of it as it burns itself down to the pit of your stomach.

You stand when you’ve finished, placing the cup back onto the saucer and then turning around to fold the blanket back up. The space is turning tense by the second and you don’t want to deal with this right now. After placing the blanket on the armrest, you reach down to grab your tea set as well as Levi’s, but his hand stops you as his fingers close around your wrist once again.

“Stay. Please? I want to talk.” You side eye him, noting the nervousness in his eyes. If it wasn’t for that, you would have stormed off. For once, it seems Levi is ready to talk, and whether you were ready or not, you needed to listen.

Setting the saucers back down, you sit on the other side of the couch again, facing him with your arms placed over your chest. Only now do you realize you’re still in a nightgown that barely covers your ass and no bra. Trying to be natural about it, you grab the pillow that sits in the middle of the cushion and pull it to your chest to cover up.

“Are you having trouble sleeping?” He rubs the back of his neck as he watches you. His anxiety looks like it’s about to overflow.

‘Is that really all you want to talk about? Small talk?’

“No! Of course not.” He grumbles. He mirrors you, folding his arms across his chest. He’s getting defensive again.

‘Then what do you want?’ You click your tongue in annoyance.

“I don’t know wha-…” He falters.

‘You do know what you want. You just won’t say it.’

“It’s not that simple.”

‘But you know, don’t you? What is holding you back? What is making this so difficult for you to talk to me?’ Your signs come out more forceful than you meant.

His arms fall into his lap as his focus darts to the tv off to the side. You eye him warily and purse your lips while you wait for him to continue, which he does after sighing heavily in frustration.

“I’m afraid, okay? I’ve never felt so conflicted about stuff like this before. But I’m sorry I’ve been ignoring you all day. It wasn’t my intention to hurt you, I just didn’t know how to face you. Or what to even say to you.”

“I’m sorry.” he says quietly, shifting his gaze back to your face.

The look in his eyes is chock-full of anxiety and panic. Your fingers are flying before you can stop them. The strong walls of anger you had put up for protection start crumbling away, making room for disappointment as well as regret for making him feel this way.

‘I shouldn’t have kissed you, I’m sorry to have caused you so much strife.’ You bite the inside of your cheek.

Levi scoffs at that, his gray eyes cutting over to you, narrowing. He doesn’t say anything right away, instead using this moment to shift on the couch until his knees are against his chest as he faces you a couple feet away. 

“Don’t be sorry.” He whispers finally, dark eyes piercing into yours.

‘You’ve been brushing me off all day. It’s because I kissed you when I shouldn’t have. You hate me. And you regret it even now.’ You feel the tears from earlier start to well again, but you refuse to let them spill in front of Levi.

“Why would I hate you?”

‘I just feel like I ruined our friendship with my actions, and you wouldn’t talk to me about it so I also feel like you want nothing to do with me because of it.’

“I don’t hate you.” He mutters, eyes shifting away before jumping back to yours. “I could never hate you.”

‘Then why won't you talk to me?’

Levi gets up abruptly and starts pacing back and forth in front of you with his shaky fingers raking through his hair. The anxiety radiating off him is palpable.

“It’s hard to put into words.” Levi says simply. A scowl appears as he pinches the bridge of his nose between fingers. He continues to pace, eyes half closed as he mutters to himself. You hear something about ‘not being used to this’ and ‘being blindsided’.

You lean forward and grab his pant leg with tight fingers. His sweatpants’ waistband slides down his hip from the sudden force of your grip, immobilizing him unless he wanted them pulled down any further. His steely eyes snap to your troubled expression and he softens immediately, hands dropping to his sides.

‘Just try.’ You give him your best pleading eyes, bottom lip jutting out as far as it can go.

Levi side eyes you as you hold him in place, his lips pinched into a thin line. He opens his mouth as he attempts to figure out what he wanted to say next. It takes a few tries but eventually, he settles on the last thing you’d expected him to say. It’s like his naturally stoic demeanor melts into something completely unrecognizable – not like you were complaining.

“When you kissed me, it was like I understood everything and nothing at the same time. I was so confused.” Levi mutters under his breath, sitting back down on the couch but this time on the cushion closest to you. His thigh brushes up against your knees, sending tingles up your spine from the sudden contact.

“Ever since you’ve stumbled back into my life, I couldn’t understand why you were always on my mind. I think I do now.” He continues without missing a beat. “I think I’ve always cherished you in some capacity, just in different stages.” Levi places his face in his hands that were propped up against his knees. After a few seconds, his head turns to you with a familiar expression. The way he looks at you reminds you of the little boy next door all those years ago.

“Leeeeeviii!!” You yell as you bound down the front steps without a care in the world. Your brother and Levi currently sit on the lawn, messing around with their action figures who were currently in a heated battle. In your excitement, you completely miss the bottom step and stumble down onto your hands and knees, rough concrete digging into your skin.

The wails that come out of you are loud enough that the dogs across the street start barking. A pair of hands are on you in an instant, helping to pull you up and onto the bottom step that had caused you so much trouble in the first place.

“I’ll go get some bandages.” Your brother says in a panic, running up the stairs and back in the house you had just come out of.

“You’re okay, it’s just some scratches.” You look up through blurry lashes to see Levi staring at your bleeding knees. You’re not going to bleed out, but crimson is trickling down your legs and it’s enough to make you cry harder.

Levi takes your little hands into his slightly bigger ones and inspects them. He brushes off the small gravel that had embedded itself into your skin, his tongue stuck between his teeth in focus. You observe him as best as you can despite the salty water obscuring your vision. Levi’s eyelashes flutter across his cheeks as he turns your hands over to get a better look at them.

“Not cut, just a little dirty. Nothing that can’t be fixed.” He says softly to you. Blue-gray eyes look up into yours and you realize you stopped crying. He offers you a lopsided grin as he squeezes your hand a few times.

“See? Not broken. You’ll be okay.”

He was always so calm with you. You shoot him a toothy grin while squeezing his hand back a few times. So calm. So safe.

“Levi, I’m never letting you go.”

You laugh at the sudden memory that flashes before your vision. You’re grateful for Levi in many ways, despite the fact he made you mad sometimes. Memory recovery was one of the reasons why. Levi’s eyes widen at your sudden outburst.

“What?”

‘Remember when I ate shit outside of my house when we were kids?’

He hesitates as he thinks.

“Which time?” His lips twitch at his comment and you realize it probably wasn’t the first time you had fallen. You appreciate your resilient nature as a kid, taking note of the small scars that probably decorated your knees even to this day.

‘Levi, I think there’s always been a part of me that’s always felt safe with you. And, I think having a future without you in it, no matter what that means, isn’t something I want to see. So, I think that’s why I was so torn up about this. The idea of you leaving just tears me apart.’

Levi sits up at your confession, staring at you in curiosity. There’s a new look of assurance on his face as he eyes you. A pink flush creeps up his neck and into his cheekbones as he focuses back on the colorful screen ahead.

“I don’t have any plans to leave.” He mutters.

There’s more silence, only cut up by the voices on the television and distant crashing of waves from down below. You watch him closely as he blinks slowly, propping his chin up in both arms that sit against his thighs. Before you can sign again, he speaks softly.

“I don’t regret it.” He side-eyes you, as if he were afraid to face you for such a statement.

‘What do you mean you don’t regret it?’

“It means I don’t regret that you kissed me.”

‘Did you want me to kiss you?’

Silence.

“You should probably get some sleep. I’m sure tomorrow will be just as exhausting. We can talk more then.” Levi says quietly, changing the subject.

You narrow your eyes at him, annoyed he would close up after so much progress. But then a yawn so big escapes your mouth and you shove your face into the pillow you were still hugging until it’s done. When you look back up, you see Levi watching you in amusement before his expression changes into indifference quickly. Maybe this would be best saved for the next day when you were both awake.

‘What about you?’

“I don’t sleep much, you know that. I’ll be okay.” He shrugs his shoulders as he gets up from the sofa. He reaches for the remote and turns off the tv then carefully places it back on the coffee table. Then he turns around to offer you a hand which you take, still hugging the pillow to your chest. He raises an eyebrow at that but turns on his heel to head to his bedroom. With a soft sigh, you place the pillow back and follow him down the hallway to your room.

The need to figure out what was going through his mind was strong, but your exhaustion hits harder. As you pass the kitchen, you note the time was about to hit five in the morning which means you have been up for a while. Despite the amount of sleep from earlier, you feel your body giving in to the heaviness of fatigue – no doubt a consequence of having such a taxing day.

You watch as Levi stops outside of his door, right hand gripping the doorknob in white knuckles. As you pass him, you reach over and place your hand on top of his. When his eyes fall on you, you offer a small smile.

 ‘What’s wrong?’

Before you can pull away, Levi says your name and stares over at you with longing.

“What am I to you?”

With shaky hands, you sign back, ‘What would you like to be, Levi?’ Adrenaline courses through your veins like lava at the sudden question.

“Yours.” It’s so soft, barely audible. And yet so full of conviction.

Levi looks down at your lips quickly before jumping back up to your eyes. In a swift motion, he releases the doorknob and grabs your hand, pulling you in closer to him with sudden force. His gaze is as firm as the grip on you, holding you in place. When he speaks again, his words come out measured.

“You’re right, I do know what I want. My answer is yours. I want to be yours.”

Your eyes widen at the sudden confession, and you stare at him with your lips parted in surprise. As if time slowed down, just like in the elevator, Levi tilts your chin in his direction - pinching it gently between his thumb and index finger. He leans in slowly, his eyes staring into yours as he wavers inches away. Levi is so close to you that his hot breath hits your face, and you smell hints of his black tea and traces of pine.

“And I want to kiss you. Is that okay?” You nod, dazed by his proximity.

Carefully, his mouth meets yours and you instantly distinguish the difference between this kiss and the one in the elevator. This one is hesitant, nervous. But traces of ravenous hunger linger as an aftertaste.

That same heat blazes from your face all the way down to your toes. Levi’s fingers move from your chin to right under your jaw, tilting your face into him even more. After a moment, he breaks away granting you a moment to catch your breath. His face is still inches from yours, gray eyes fluttering closed as your forehead rests against his. Your name tumbles out of his mouth, almost like a beg.

“I need to know.” He pulls away from you, the air around you instantly turning cold from the lack of his presence. “Will you let me?”

‘Let you what, Levi?’ You know what he wants, but you just want to hear him say it again. And again and again and again.

“Let me be yours.” Your smile would have blinded the whole world.

‘Mine.’

He leans in again, cupping your whole face in his calloused hand and locking his lips back over yours. The hunger intensifies just like the buzzing throughout your whole system. You open your mouth slightly to let his tongue in to explore and it does, eliciting a quiet moan from you. You swear you hear Levi growl in response. Oh, how touch starved you two were for each other.

As if in sync, Levi opens the bedroom door and you both stumble still lip-locked into his room. He pushes you up against the door, shutting it behind you. If you weren’t so lost in the kiss, you would have been worried by how loud the slam must have been. Levi presses up against you more, sandwiching you between the heat of his body and the cool wooden door behind you. You already feel how hard he is under his sweatpants.

You’re more inexperienced than most so there’s hesitation in your kiss – something Levi picks up on quickly. He pulls away but leaves his hands on your face as he looks at you with apprehension.

“We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to tonight.” He whispers to you. His voice is as sincere as it always is, albeit husky. You place a hand over his that sits on your face, leaning into it as you do before signing back.

‘I want all of you.’ You offer a loving smile, wide and full of adoration for the man in front of you. Levi’s eyes bounce back and forth between yours as if searching for something. He finds nothing but pure truth.

Levi’s lips crash back onto yours, careful but just as heated. As his marred lips leave and make their way down your neck, one of your hands slides up his chest to his undercut until your fingers find what they were looking for, tangling in his raven hair.

The moment you feel his teeth pinch your soft skin, another moan comes out louder than before. Having him pressed up against you like that, the outline of his cock pressing into your stomach, you start to feel your patience slowly unraveling.

Your nervousness flies out the window. This was Levi, you had no reason to worry. Levi is safe to you. He would take care of you as he always does. And you would do the same. The thought makes you smile up at the ceiling. Before you know it, your hands push against Levi’s soft skin, and he pulls away quickly. Worry pools into his dark eyes as he watches you carefully.

“Is everything okay?” He murmurs hoarsely.

Instead of signing back, you force him to step back towards the bed with your palm pressed against his chest until the back of his knees hit the edges of the mattress. The force alone makes him lurch back so that he falls back onto the soft duvet, catching himself on his hands so that he’s sitting up.

In a swift motion, you straddle his hips, and your lips find solace on his mouth yet again. You don’t hesitate to push your tongue through to taste him again, wrapping your arms around his neck and pressing yourself into him more.

You don’t mean to, but you find your hips grinding on to him, the only barriers between your already soaked self and Levi being the clothes you wish were off. The pressure and friction against your very sensitive core make you pull away for breath. Levi’s soft grunts are music to your ears and his lips start trailing back down your neck, his teeth finding purchase in your soft skin yet again. His fingers slide up your back, pulling your night dress up with it.

Then a groan comes out of his clenched teeth, full of frustration.

Levi pulls away again and stares up at you with heavy-lidded eyes full of impatience. You note that pink flush of his that you love so much, deeper in color and painting across his cheeks. As you stare down at him, you come to love this version of Levi and you want nothing but to see his face contort at the way you grinded into him. But he places his hands on your hips to keep you still, much to your dismay. You watch him carefully as he speaks, his voice husky.

“I-uh. I want this, I do. But we need to be safe. And I didn’t bri-“ He averts his gaze, staring at the corner of the bed. You were so lost in the exhilaration of it all, you didn’t think about it. A thick appreciation for him crashes over you because his cautious nature, even if it did slightly kill the heat of the moment.

‘Give me a second. I can help with this. Stay here.’ You give him a chaste kiss before sliding off his lap and out the door quickly. You tiptoe your way back to your room, making sure the only sounds that can be heard are the clock ticking on the wall and the muffled continuous crashing of waves just outside.

When you slip into your room, you see Hange flat on their back with their hair tousled everywhere. Soft snores escape their lips, a telltale sign they are out like a light. Hange wasn’t promiscuous in the slightest, but they weren’t closed minded either. And with that, it meant they stayed prepared.

You creep over to their unorganized suitcase where clothes were strewn all over the place. Reaching into the top compartment, your fingers feel the sharp edges of a foil package and slip it out. You blush to yourself as you think back to Levi’s outline as you make sure it’s the right size.

A snort from behind you makes you freeze in place, breath hitched as you sit crouching in silence. A moment passes. Another minute. Hange’s snores fill the room again and you let loose your held breath, shoulders sagging. You’re sure this conversation would come up again later, but you didn’t want to deal with it right now. Especially with Levi waiting for you.

It takes you next to no time to slip out of your room and back into Levi’s, closing his door with a soft click. Turning around, you show him the condom in between pinched fingers and smile widely to Levi who was still sitting on the edge of the bed for you.

“Did you come prepared?” He raises an eyebrow at the glittering foil.

‘No, but Hange do-‘

“I don’t need to know any more.” Levi blurts out, hands up in defeat. A silent laugh shakes your shoulders as you make your way back over to him. You fling the package onto the bed before straddling him again, noting how hard he was underneath you still.

‘Now where were we?’ You sign with a small smile. Levi smirks and places his hand against your cheek, his thumb tracing your bottom lip gently. You playfully nip at him, and he huffs in amusement.

“You’re breathtakingly beautiful, you know that?” He asks you softly before pulling your face into his and locking his lips on yours. It’s a saccharine-laced kiss. His hands find your hips again, lowering until they are fully on your ass, and they squeeze. A squeak escapes into his mouth as he does, and it just makes his grip on your skin tighter.

Pulling away, you grip his t-shirt from the bottom and start tugging it up. Levi leans back so you can pull it up and over his head, discarding it on the bed next to him. Your hands trail down his toned chest and abs, his skin burning under your touch. It’s soft despite the hard muscles underneath them. Your mouth finds his again as your hands explore, not hesitating to slip your tongue into Levi’s already parted lips.

Your hands find their way back in his hair, fingers entwining through the fine strands. You can’t help it – you tug gently, and a small whine comes out of his pouty lips as he’s pulled away from your mouth. Something inside you burns and again you feel your razor thin patience cutting at you. 

As if Levi reads your mind, he wraps an arm around your back while leaving his other hand cupping your ass and stands up effortlessly. In a mere moment, he turns around with you in his strong arms and then gently tosses you on to the bed. A soft laugh escapes you as you land. Everything around you smells like Levi.  

Levi stands at the foot of the bed and stares down at you ravenously, a look you don’t think you’ve ever seen on anyone outside of the movies on your television screen. You sit up on your elbows and watch as he gets on the bed and slowly makes his way on top of you. He meets your lips with his own as his body hovers over yours, his fingers lightly trailing up your arms resulting in goosebumps following in their wake.

Slowly, you lie back down flush to the mattress, his knees digging into the sheets on either side of your thighs. Levi’s lips start to slide down your jaw which gives you some space to breathe but your breaths quickly turn into soft whimpers as his fingers lightly trace across your lower abdomen. His other hand snakes around the back of your neck, supporting it as he starts planting more soft kisses down it.

 “You can stop me at any time, okay?” Levi whispers, his hot breath tickling your neck. You nod, only wishing you had your voice to say his name and tell him you wanted him. As long as he was with you, you would always want him.

Levi’s hand that was teasing your waist makes its way back up to the lacy lining that adorns the edge of your nightdress, long fingers tugging down the thin fabric that holds your breasts in place. You’re glad Levi isn’t watching your face because you are multiple shades of embarrassment.

But Levi doesn’t say anything, instead he takes a breast in hand and massages it gently as his kisses start trailing down past your collarbone. Before you know it, his soft lips clamp around your already very sensitive nipple, eliciting a loud moan from you. You can’t help but dig your nails into the firm muscles of his back in response, dragging them down as Levi bites down gently. An exhale of hot air blows out of Levi’s mouth against your skin when you do that, a small grunt escaping with it.

You feel the absence of his lips immediately as his lips leave and the wetness left behind leaves your skin defenseless against the cool air. Levi softly kisses back up your sternum then pulls away, leaning forward on both hands that now sit on each side of your face. His tousled hair falls forward, creating shadows across his face as he stares down with that same hungry look, only this time it’s tinted with pure amazement.

“Still okay?” He whispers down to you.

You blink up at him and swallow hard. You were more than okay but as always, your words fail you. Instead, you nod and the hands that once dragged down his back are now trailing down his chest again. The feeling of his skin against yours sends electricity through your whole body, and you want more. You need more. Your hands flatten against right above his rapidly beating heart as you do your best to give him a look that conveys ‘more’.

“I’ve got you.” Those were the words he had muttered down to you the day before as you fell asleep in his arms on the beach. It wasn’t just cherishment that he held for you; it was deeper than that. Hange’s words from earlier flit through your mind, only briefly. How could you not have fully noticed until now?

He leans down and places his lips back on yours, soft and sweet. As your lips lock on to his, you feel his feather light touch trace back down to the elastic band of your underwear. But instead of teasing you like he had before, you feel his fingers dip under the cloth and further down to…

Any other thoughts racing through your mind cease to exist as his delicate fingers slide down your slick folds. You don’t mean to moan as loud as you do and fortunately Levi’s mouth muffles it for you. He hums in response to your reactions, smiling into the kiss.

Levi’s lips graze back down to just under your ear as his fingers rub small circles around your clit eliciting more moans from you. Your labored breaths fill the space as the white-hot heat from his touch reverberates throughout your whole body, tingling down to the tips of your toes. He whispers your name under a heavy breath, mutterings of how beautiful you are to him floating up to your ear. All sweet words mirror the moans you made.

You reach down to Levi’s hardened bulge that currently fights against the stretched fabric of his joggers. Your fingers close around him as much as they can through the thick cloth. Upon contact, Levi’s breath hitches. You give him a gentle squeeze resulting in a guttural groan that comes through his clenched teeth.

In response, his touch burns deep into your core as he carefully pushes a digit into your warm entrance, the palm of his hand applying pressure onto your swollen clit as he does. His movements are gentle as he pumps it in and out slowly, and you feel his finger curving up into a spot so good your toes curl. The euphoria turns into building heat, and you know what’s about to happen - but you wanted more. You wanted him now more than ever and this was not enough. More, more, more.

A soft whine comes out of you as your fingers tighten around him. A light huff tickles against your skin – Levi’s way of chuckling.

“Are you sure you’re ready?” He mumbles, his lips finding your earlobe and nipping at it gently. Reaching over with your other hand, you place your hand against his cheek and pull him up to you, planting your lips right onto his. It’s a hungry kiss, one conveying you were ready for him. You love him, you want him. You need him.

With that, Levi withdraws his hand and slides himself off you and the bed. You sit up and watch as he tugs down his pants along with his boxers. You knew what was coming and yet you couldn’t stop the blood rushing to your cheeks in shy embarrassment. You look away, staring at the ceiling as you hear Levi pick his clothes up including the shirt you threw on the bed, and then place them neatly on the dresser behind him. Your name quietly tumbles out his lips for your attention.

When you look up at him, you see him offering a hand to you. Your eyes flicker down for a mere second before going back up to Levi’s soft gaze. You feel as if you could faint on the spot.

Instead, you push yourself closer to the edge of the bed and take Levi’s hand. In a delicate flourish, you’re in his arms again and he pulls you in for another deep, lingering kiss. His fingers bunch at the bottom of your night dress and start lifting it up. You let him, pulling away enough so he can get the soft fabric up and over your head. He folds it and turns to place it next to his pants. When he circles back on you, he takes a moment to observe your half-naked self.

Being in your thin bathing suit was one thing, but to be standing there as the cool air conditioning drifted across your unprotected self was in a whole other universe. You shift your weight awkwardly and twist your arms together as you avert your gaze to the piled-on dresser.

Levi steps closer to you and takes both of your arms in a gentle grip and pulls them away from each other so that you’re exposed to him. You force your gaze on him despite how nervous you were to be in front of him. Levi’s dark eyes trail down your body but not in an ogling kind of way – he watches you with wonder.

“You’re just so beautiful. Every part of you.” He releases your arms, and his hands are back on you, sliding down your waist and landing on your hips. His fingers leave a trail of tingles. “I want you, all of you. If you’ll have me. Is that okay?” He whispers to you, pulling you by the hips into him. The length of his hardened self presses against your bare stomach as he does.

You sign that same simple word, ‘Mine’.

With that, Levi gently pushes you down into the bed with a hard kiss, leaning into you until your back is pressed against the mattress. He loops his fingers into the sides of your panties and tugs them down your legs, pulling away from you yet again to place them next to the rest of the discarded clothes. At that moment, he takes the time to rip a corner off the metallic package with his teeth, the foil discarded onto the dresser once done.

He grabs your hips again, this time pulling you flush to the edge of the bed as he stands at the foot of it. His hand makes its way to your thigh and his perfectly trimmed nails press into your soft skin as he holds you close. The tip of his cock teases your entrance and if you had a voice, you would have begged for it. As usual, you didn’t have to.

Levi leans down to you and kisses you slowly, teeth brushing against your swollen bottom lip. He places his other hand on the bed next to your head, using it to keep himself propped up. His hair hangs low as he hovers, already moist with sweat from the proximity and building body heat between the two of you. You use one hand to grip his forearm while the other hand slides up the back of his head and into his sweaty hair, fingers digging into his scalp. As the kiss deepens, so do his movements into you.

Levi slides himself in gently, using his hold on your thigh to control his speed. He lifts your leg up against his hip for a better angle but the sharp gasp from you stops Levi in his tracks. He stays there, feeling your warm walls hugging tightly around him.

He pulls away from the kiss and hovers over you again, looking down into your eyes with worry. It's been a while since you have been touched like this, let alone this intimate. You don’t think you’ve ever felt this loved. Levi makes this all so easy despite the anxious knot in your chest. You realize it isn’t just this that he makes easy, though. It’s everything around you. Every issue, every solution.

You imagine you’re looking at him just the same, a small smile etching into your flushed and hot face. Before he can ask again, you move your hand up and under his fingers that digs into the bed next to you. Lacing your fingers in with his, you squeeze his hand a few times.

A way to say you were okay and that you trusted him. And always would.

He looks down at you curiously but then realization dawns on him. His concern washes away to reveal his own version of adoration for you. It’s one of your favorite expressions on him by far.

In a breathless moan, Levi pushes himself all the way in. He presses his lips onto yours, muffling your moans that rise in volume as he slowly rocks into you. The hand he had on your thigh tightens as he pulls you into him more, quickening his pace slightly. The new angle hits a spot that almost puts you at the brink of finishing right then and there.

Levi lets go of your hand and moves his arm under your neck again, giving him the opportunity to trail his now sloppy kisses and teeth down it. Those razor-sharp teeth sink into your skin as one of his thrusts hit simultaneously. You bite into the back of your hand to keep yourself from wailing out and waking the rest of your roommates. The other hand that now sits against his sweaty chest digs into his skin, burying deeper with every thrust. It feels as if every part of your body burns like wildfire from his touch. Your name comes out in a groan this time, husky and deep.

“God, you’re fucking beautiful. You feel so good.” He buries his face into your collarbone as he moans your name again, shakily.

Levi thrusts soon become clumsy, feeling him slam into you inconsistently and with every hit comes more pressure against your clit. Heat builds into your core, the same as before. You’re pulling at his hair, in an attempt to warn him you were close. Throaty curses leave his lips as you both feel each other tense up.

In an instant, it’s like the world crumbles around you as you hit your limit. The walls surrounding Levi clenches as each wave of pleasure rolls through your whole system. Your orgasm sends Levi over the edge and in one deep thrust of his hips, you feel his body shudder as his moan almost turns into a whine. His teeth bite into you again as he rides through his own climax, filling up the condom within you.

Levi releases your leg and lets it fall gently against the bed before collapsing on top of you. He uses an arm to keep himself propped up enough to not suffocate you with his body weight. You focus on the heavy panting emanating from the both of you as you come down from your high. His heart beats in sync with your own against as he lays on top of you, digging his face into the crook of your neck.

You wrap your arms around his head and hold him close, despite the heat and sticky sweat between your bodies. Levi nuzzles his nose into sweaty soft skin and chuckles, low and hoarse. You both continue to lay like that until the breathing slows down to a normal pace. The next time he speaks, his voice is so soft and barely audible that you almost miss it.

“I love you too.”

☆ Taglist ➼ @averysmolbear @humanitys-strongest-bamf @youre-ackermine @spaghettiyarns @notgoodforlife @roseofdarknessblog @missamity @icansmellsouls @dkbktk420 @romantichomicide95 @janey-stempy @sckerman @secretmoneybearvoid @sujiroses @jadam724 @e-riellaaa @kamyru @highgoon69 @kingkonoha @nube55 @missyasma

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☾ Previous Chapter: June Part 3

☾ Next Chapter: June Part 5 [Final]

[spicerackofblorbos]

Chapter 8: June - Part Four [NSFW]

☾ Pairings ➼ Levi Ackerman x fem!mute!Reader (she/her pronouns), set in a modern semi-fictional world

☾ Summary ➼ Due to childhood trauma, you find yourself an adult without the ability to speak. After years of working on it, you have found ways to live without a voice. Now here in your late 20s, you are 5 months in getting used to a new town. On a fateful day in late November, you and your adopted sister visit a local bookstore-café, unaware of the friendships about to blossom. Throughout the months, one friendship in particular develops into something more.

☾ Content/Warnings ➼ fluff, slowburn, oblivious feelings, romance, angst, mention of minor character deaths, trauma, illness, adoption, mentions of fire, disabilities, alcohol use, very light nsfw mentions, references to child abuse, smoking and alcohol abuse mentions, domestic violence, light assault, uhhh- sex? idk how to tag this kind of stuff.

☾ Author's note ➼ Hehe, hi! I bet y'all never thought you'd see this tag OR BANNER on here ever. Tbh, I thought I would never see this tag or banner on any of my writings. But uhhhh- here we are! If it isn't obvious, this is my first time EVER writing smut. I've never even written self-indulgent smut before because it is REALLY HARD FOR ME TO DO. That's mainly why this chapter took so long (I'M SORRY); I wanted to make sure it was perfect. If you're a minor and read the smut I will find you and cut you! Hehe. Anyways. Again, I am so sorry this chapter took so long!! I've hit quite a rut in my life and I'm just really glad to have gotten it done in the first place. Let me know what y'all think!! ALSO CAN Y'ALL BELIEVE THERE'S ONLY ONE MORE PART LEFT HOLD ME I'M CRYING

☾ Word Count ➼ ~10.9k

The visual of Levi’s bewilderment haunts you just as much as the feeling of his lips on yours does. You’re not sure why you thought kissing your friend would be a good idea at all. Regret gnaws at you as you find yourself in a vicious cycle of rumination.

But it wasn’t all regret, was it? You wanted to kiss him. And you liked it.

Maybe it wasn’t regret at all, actually. What you really felt in your core was disappointment. At yourself for not thinking before acting and at him for not responding the way you inwardly hoped he would. If Levi’s cold shoulder this morning wasn’t proof enough, you don’t know what was.

“Love?” Hange’s voice cuts through the white noise reverberating through your skull. Slowly, you turn to where your sister currently sits with light green paste smeared all over their face. You blink the glassiness away and raise an eyebrow at them – which is a little hard to do as you have the same paste smudged on your face that is in the process of drying.

“Were you listening at all?” Concerned eyes bore into yours. You’d say you were thankful for the green tea facial that covers the dark circles under your lashes, but you knew Hange had noticed the moment they laid eyes on you today. They click their tongue and sit upright in your direction.

“What’s going on in that head of yours?”

‘What do you mean?’

“You look like you didn’t sleep a wink last night and you have been out of it all day. What are you thinking about?”

‘It’s nothing. Just had trouble sleeping.’

“You’re only restless when you have something on your mind.”

You stick your bottom lip out. In truth, you really did want to talk about it, but you weren’t sure what you wanted to say. Hange wasn’t the type to let things go when it came to you though, especially when you’re distressed. You’d need to say something now whether you liked it or not.

‘I like Levi.’ You sign quickly, averting your gaze from the piercing light-brown eyed stare burning holes in your face. You sigh softly and tuck your chin in the white fluffy robe that wraps around your body, ignoring the fact that you’re wiping the face mask off into the fabric as you do. It takes them a moment to realize you’re not planning on saying anything else.

“And that’s upsetting?” They laugh and relax back into the plush cushions. “That’s nothing new. I’ve known for a long time.”

Your eyes cut over to Hange again at that, wide in shock.

‘You knew? How? Since when?’

“I know when someone’s smitten. And you my darling? You are smitten like a kitten.” They roll their head in your direction as they speak, eyes sparkling. “Probably since February.”

Was it that early?

‘Can you be specific?’ You feel your face heat up from under the thick mask.

“If only you had a mirror. You should see the way you look at Levi. It’s so obvious, even Nanaba picked up on it.” They smirk as they twist in your direction, resting their chin on a hand that sits propped up on the armrest. A wide smile carved up and into their eyes.

“What happened last night anyways that made you discover this known secret?” Hange already knew, they had to have. Their demeanor changed from worried to curious in the blink of an eye.

‘Nothing.’ You sit back in a huff, closing your eyes.

You hear Hange sigh softly but doesn’t press for the next half hour. Your body sinks deeper into the plush massage chair as your head sits back on the head rest. Off to the side, you hear the soft babbling of the fountain piece that pairs wells with the gentle spa music that floats from the ceiling speakers down to your ears. Your brain wanders and you feel the heaviness that comes with sleep about to settle in.

“Excuse me?” A sudden voice startles you. You pop an eye open to see a spa employee in mint robes standing in front of the chairs you and Hange were relaxing in. “It’s time to move on to the hot pools, are you both ready?”

“Oh yes!! I’ve been looking forward to this part.” Hange exclaims, practically throwing themselves out of the chair.

.

The steamy mineral water stings your skin upon first contact. It wasn't uncomfortably hot, but it was close. It takes you a few seconds to get used to it and before you know it, you’re sinking low until your nose is submerged. Only your eyes and up show, like a crocodile floating as it hunts. You had put your hair up so that it wouldn’t get wet, but a few loose strands decide they want to get wet anyways as they float around your face.

Your sister, on the other hand, does not take the gentle approach. Before you know it, they’re running down the ramp ass naked. They throw themselves into the water when they get deep enough, throwing water straight in your face. Luckily, the pools are slotted out by appointments so it’s just the two of you in the small, enclosed room. They disappear for a second, submerged in the water leaving only ripples behind that float across the top.

“Are you going to tell me what happened now?” Hange’s low voice comes from right next to you, causing your heart to skip a beat. Despite the unnerving crawl of your skin, you side eye them and shake your head.

Their words bounce around in your skull. If even Nanaba picked it up, that would mean Levi knew too, right? Is that why he brushed you off this morning? This wouldn’t be the first time that he’s held things back from you, but you hoped that had changed in the last handful of months. A fleeting thought of going to him first zooms through your mind and disappears just as quickly.

“Did he kiss you?” Hange’s voice is so close that you feel the heat of their breath blowing right against your ear. You push back from instinct, swatting the water and subsequently splashing them in the face.

“Oh my, he definitely did. Look at your face!” Hange muses as they tread up closer to your face and there’s half a foot between noses. You shove at the tops of their shoulders and blow them a raspberry. They were ever persistent.

‘If you must know, he didn’t kiss me.’ You’re suddenly focused on the waterspout sitting opposite of you on the wall.

“Damn. I was rea-“

‘I kissed him.’

“Wha-?! You?!”

Without another word, you turn your back on their open-mouthed stare and head for the sitting ledge in the back corner. Steam rises off your warm skin as you do, merging easily with the rest of the hot air. Hange follows, mumbling under their breath as they process the news. When you twist to sit down, you’re face to face with Hange as they squat into the water across from you.

“I’m guessing by your reactions, it didn’t go well?”

‘He pulled away and gave me a weird look.’

“What did he say after?”

You don’t answer that, instead you slide into the water until you’re halfway submerged again. The hot water tingles against your raw face, making you wince until the uncomfortable feeling subsides. A few bubbles burst on the surface from your released huff.

“You didn’t give him a chance to, did you?” They raise an eyebrow at you. The amusement that tugged at their features melted away to reveal concern. You raise your hands out of the water, water droplets falling back in with little splashes.

‘He pulled away quickly and gave me a look that didn’t really scream “yay”. What was I supposed to do?’

“Sit and talk to him like the adult you are?” More bubbles pop at the surface as your eyes narrow at them.

‘What if he doesn’t want to talk? Or even see me? Or be my friend anymore?’

“Well, did he kiss back?”

‘I don’t know. I can’t remember. A lot was happening.’

“I imagine he did. He likes you too, you know.”

You roll your eyes at that. Maybe he did, maybe he didn’t. But that doesn’t change the shocked expression that he stared at you with before you ran off for the night. You feel the pressure of his lips on your mouth again and it makes your heart skip a beat. How confusing this all was.

“Want me to make him talk to you?” Hange says with a smirk on their lips.

‘Don’t even think about it. He’ll just kill both of us.’ You flick water in their direction at which they chuckle at it.

“Just give it some time, you’ll figure it out. But probably not too much time because this was a friend group before you both decided to catch feelings and I will not have this group break apart because you both want to be teenagers about it all.” They shrug their shoulders at that.

‘What happens if we never talk again?’

“Not allowed. I’ll lock you two in a room if I have to. Oh wait, maybe I should do that? Then you’ll either talk, fight, or kiss again.” They ramble on, tapping a forefinger on their chin as they think. Their eyes shoot over to yours, wide and full of excitement.

“If you both start dating, it’s for the long run by the way. Marriage or nothing. I can’t risk the friend group falling apart.” They joke. Part of you thinks there’s a bit of truth in their words but you let it slide. The prospect of marriage though? Was it your face heating up at the thought or the hot water?

You give them an exasperated look despite it all, offering them a thumbs down as well.

“I’m only half joking. You and him will figure something out eventually. Who knows, maybe it’s all a misunderstanding! You’re shy and he’s… well. Him. Maybe you just need to make the first move.” They offer you a small smile, their eyes softening again.

 That fleeting thought from earlier comes back. Again, Hange’s words held some truth as they always do. You already made the first move and that didn’t work out the way you planned. But If Levi didn’t know to come to you, maybe you would have to open that door for him, granted he doesn’t slam it in your face. You decide you’ll do what you can to pull him aside tonight.

.

Much to your dismay, the appointment ends too quickly. Fortunately, Hange kept up with their promise of taking you shopping since there were a few hours until it was time to meet up with the boys who were no doubt still out golfing. You laugh at the idea of Levi standing on the greens with a signature bored expression, but then you remember you were supposed to be anxious. You don’t know what you’re going to say to him.

After a while, you forget your worries for a time. Hange finds a really nice pantsuit that frames their tall body well. You found a simple sundress that frills out on your waist in a color that your sister exclaimed matched your eyes so well. And it was nice being able to chat, that feeling of dread that coursed through your veins like ice forgotten.

That is until you’re standing in front of Levi with your hands twisting in each other – a nervous habit you picked up just recently. The fabric of your dress feels like it’s digging into your skin as you stand awkwardly, your heart feeling as if it might explode. He doesn’t even look your way, eyes glued to his phone as he mindlessly scrolls. The idea of getting him to talk to you falters.

He's wearing a slate gray dress shirt in a complementary shade for his eyes. The sleeves are rolled up to his elbows neatly. The rest of his outfit is clean yet casual and perfect for the place Erwin had reserved. Some of his hair falls in his face as he continues to look down, ignoring the fact that Erwin was calling everyone to attention.

“Are we ready to go? The taxi is here.” Erwin gives you and Hange a once over when he looks up from his phone. “Wow, you both look like you had a good day - practically glowing.” He gives you a beaming smile and you force one back in return, feeling the quivering of your muscles as your lips pull back.

Levi glances up finally and his dark eyes scan the room. When they land on you, they linger for a second longer before he looks away as he pulls himself up from the barstool. You did not miss the subtle surprise that flashed across his face as well as his eyes flickering down to the sakura necklace you put back on for this evening. You had taken it off the last few days to keep it safe, something you were not used to doing before. You almost sighed in relief when you felt the familiar and subtle weight around your neck again.

The car ride to the restaurant was fortunately short but to you, it was agonizing the whole time. Erwin opted for the front seat to help direct the driver so that left you, Hange, and Levi in the back. Your sister forced you in the middle and they claimed it was for safety reasons but you knew better.

Your almost bare thigh sits against Levi’s after you all piled in, snug as can be. You pull your arms together so that you’re not squishing into Levi any more than you have to. He’s facing the window, arm propped up and leaning against it as he looks out. You spend the whole ride rehearsing what you wanted to say to him.

When the taxi parks in front of the restaurant, you take a deep breath. It was now or never, you tell yourself. You force yourself out of Levi’s side after he slides out, having to push the door as he almost shuts it in your face.

You’re able to reach far enough to grab his wrist to make him stop and he spins on you quickly, eyes flaring with annoyance – barely softening when he notices it’s you. It takes all of your strength to keep your fingers latched on to him despite the look on his face. After a moment, he helps you out of the car with that same hand, making sure to keep you steady as you almost trip on the curb.

‘Can we talk?’  You sign quickly.

He considers you, eyebrows pinched the way they do.

“Tch. We don’t have time, Hange and Erwin are waiting for us.” He finally grumbles back, eyes aimed at the retreating figures now walking through the double glass doors. He turns on his heels and leaps up the stairs, leaving you and your hurt feelings at the bottom.

So much for trying.

Even in your sour mood, you still appreciate how beautiful the restaurant is from the outside. It’s very high end with a large crystal chandelier peeping out of the tall windows that make up the majority of the front wall. The railings of both sides of the stairs are adorned with growing vines and colorful flowers. A simple sign in neat cursive hangs above the front doors, reading ‘La Crevette’. You raise an eyebrow at that but say nothing before making your way into the air-conditioned interior alone.

The inside is even better. The gold inlay that decorates the white marble adds a delicate and elegant tone. On the walls sit ceiling high mirrors that you can’t help but stare in as your eyes scan the new surroundings. You catch Levi’s eyes in the reflection before he turns away to follow the hostess who is now leading you all to your designated table.

To say that the atmosphere at the table was so tense you could cut it with a knife would have been an understatement. You find yourself sitting across from Levi - at least 5 feet away. The chill emanating from him makes you shiver and you wish you had brought a jacket with you.

Orders were already taken so now you sit in silence as Hange and Erwin compare the activities they both did today. Levi’s fingers drum against the clothed table as he stares out the window to the left of you. It looks out into the ocean, the setting sun painting the sky, those beautiful oranges and pinks that you liked so much. You fidget with the napkin that sits across your lap in tight fingers as you stare. Erwin calls your name.

“So how did you like the spa? Did they take care of you as well?” His clear eyes stare into yours with interest.

You smile politely and nod, signing along saying ‘They did, it was quite luxurious. Thank you for setting it up for us.’ He smiles back and chuckles.

“Hange said the baths were really nice. We might have to stop by one before we leave town, huh Levi?” The attention is now diverted onto a very bored looking Levi. He only hums in response, shrugging his shoulders as well.

‘You look like you got quite a bit of sun today.’ Your smile wavers as you eye him. There’s a soft flush across his cheeks as well as his nose and forehead. His gaze flickers up to you and you think you spot conflict in his steely eyes.

“I forgot a hat.” He says back, his curt tone a little too sharp for you. You pretend to not hear it. Your eyes fall onto your water glass after that, Hange and Erwin going back to talking about the other things they did today.

By the time dinner comes and disappears, the tense atmosphere barely stagnates. You sense Erwin and Hange can feel it too, but they don’t say anything. The only things you’re given are looks, ranging from curiosity to what you imagine is understanding. You don’t blame them though, this is really something that you and Levi need to hash out. Anxiety gnaws at your chest as you continue to pull on the thin fabric of your dress.

Eventually, the waiter comes with the check and hands it over to Erwin per his request - you all knew better than to argue with him about it. When Erwin hands the black book back with his card of choice, the waiter takes it and leans over to start gathering dishes out of the way. As he reaches from behind you, the feeling of his sleeve brushing against the side of your neck makes you stiffen up. When he pulls away, a small pop resonates by your ear.

The lack of weight around your neck is instantaneous. You watch in silent horror at your favorite necklace plopping into your lap softly. Everything goes quiet as you pick up the chain in shaky fingers, almost losing the sakura pendant as you do. The sight of the delicate golden chain now broken in a place that would not be an easy fix makes you feel like someone is stepping on your chest - crushing you.

You feel hot tears rolling down your face and you blink hard a few times. You’re in too much shock to make a sound. The waiter’s incessant apologies come muffled as realization dawns on you. You should have kept it tucked away and safe. You shouldn’t have kissed Levi. This necklace is you and Levi right now. Broken necklace, broken friendship. Your fault. All of it is your fault.

Placing it on the table gently, you force another sweet smile, one that closes your eyes and you feel more tears pressing out as you do.

‘I’m going to get some air.’ You sign.

Before anyone can protest, you push your chair out and away from the table, bumping into the still apologizing waiter. You sign a few hard apologies yourself before running down the ramp to the host station and out the front doors. Your feet take off down the street in the direction of the condo, tears streaming still but not a single sob escaping your lips.

A hand closes around your wrist, the force of your speed almost knocking you back as someone holds you still. The firm grip is telling enough that you don’t have to look around to see who it is, but you do anyway. Levi is out of breath from running after you, chest heaving and hair windswept.

“Where are you going?” His voice is stern and laced with annoyance.

You only shake your head in response, still feeling the tears rolling down your cheeks and off your chin. You have no energy left for a fake smile and his subtle annoyance feels like another knife in the chest. You’re not sure if it was the exhaustion, the necklace, or Levi, but you feel inexplicable rage boiling over. Ripping your arm out of his grip, you start signing roughly.

‘Why are you here?’

“I’m worried about you. You’re upset.” His steely eyes cut into yours, narrowing.

‘You could have fooled me. It seems to me you want nothing to do with me, ignoring me the way you have all day. What do you want?’ He flinches at that, surprised by your less than normal aggression.  

“I-I’m sorry. I just don’t…” He runs his fingers through his hair, pushing it back and out of his face. He stumbles through his words, something you’ve never seen him do. But you can’t think about that right now, your patience is thinning and you can’t face him if he still refuses to acknowledge the hurt he’s dealt to you even if he didn’t realize it.

‘‘I can’t fix it.’ You sign shakily, fingers fumbling over each other.

“I’ll take a look at it. And if it’s not fixable, I can just get you a new one.” It dawns on you that Levi doesn’t understand, and you’re not certain if he ever did.

‘I’m not talking about the necklace, Levi!’ You’re in the middle of the sidewalk slamming your hands together as people rush past you two. As always, it feels as if it’s just you and Levi and everyone else are blurring streaks in the background. This time, it doesn’t feel as pleasant.

He doesn’t say anything back, choosing to stare with his lips parted as if he wanted to.

‘Why won’t you just talk to me? I thought you trusted me with yourself.’

“I do. Trust you, I mean.”

‘Then talk to me!’

“It’s not that simple.”

‘Right.’ You don’t give Levi a chance to refute as you turn around swiftly and start off in the direction of the condo, head hung low as you do your best to sniffle quietly. Fortunately, no one looks your way as you shuffle down the sidewalk.

Different layers of pain pile on your shoulders and you’re not sure how you’re going to get out from under them. The worst of them all seems to seep into your heart in a heavy way, weighing you down so much that you’re surprised you make it back to the elevator of the condo without collapsing. When the doors shut in front of you, you allow yourself to finally fall apart like you’ve been wanting to all day, sobs racking from deep within your chest.

.

The moment you get into the bedroom, you slam the door behind you and prep for bed. The lingering sunlight filters through the room, painting the room gold. You didn’t care what time it was, you just knew you were ready to pass out from the day.

As you loosen your hair from the multitude of pins sticking in it, you stare at yourself in the bathroom mirror. Your eyes are bloodshot, the skin around them puffy. At least you don’t have to do much since your tears broke down most of the makeup already, only needing the gentle swipe of a cloth. The moment after you slip on your sleepwear, you toss yourself into the soft sheets of your temporary bed and curl in on yourself.

The hurt from last night comes back tenfold. Only this time, frustration burns under your skin. Before you know it, nightmares come to you in the form of dark slate grays.

The next time your eyes open, they’re met with darkness. You’re not sure if the moon decided to stay away or if the clouds had rolled in during your slumber, but regardless your vision is pitch-black. Soft snoring to your right indicates that Hange had made it back and is currently deep in sleep. You vaguely recall hearing them calling out to you when they came back shortly after you fell asleep.

Rolling onto your back, you are greeted with the dim red light from the alarm clock illuminating the ceiling. You imagine it’s quite late in the night considering how refreshed you feel despite the lingering melancholy from dinner.

With a huff, you sit up and swing your legs off the bed. Your bare feet hit the cool, hard floor and you make quick yet quiet work of sneaking out of the bedroom. You know Hange could sleep through anything, but you did not want to suffer on the off-chance they woke up – you were not prepared to face them right now.

After closing the bedroom door, you pad over to the fridge and pull it open. The only drink options were a couple of beers and a handful of caffeinated sodas. You wish you had a cup of Levi’s tea in your hands, but instead you opt for water from the filtered pitcher. After taking a tentative sip of it, you decide that going back to sleep was not an option for you. You kick yourself for potentially screwing up your sleep schedule for the rest of the trip but that was a problem for future you.

With a cold glass in hand, you step over to the plush couch and sink into it. Grabbing the remote in the other, you turn it on and flinch as you’re met with a loud commercial about an action movie coming out soon. Quickly, you turn the volume down to one and sit still as you listen for any sounds of your roommates – luckily it stays silent. You sigh softly.

You pull over a blanket from the other side of the couch and tuck yourself in. You let your mind wander for a bit as a random movie starts to play, the low volume buzzing in the background. Thankfully, your thoughts stay away from Levi. That is, until you watch as a teacup is placed down on the glass coffee table in front of you with a clink as well as delicate fingers pulling away from the handle.

Blinking the glassiness from your vision, your eyes trail up the muscular arm that belongs to a weary-eyed Levi. His gaze shifts away quickly as he lowers himself on the other side of the couch as far as possible from you. He lifts his own teacup to his lips and takes a small sip, eyes forward on the movie ahead.

He doesn’t say anything to you, which you’re not certain if you should be grateful for, or annoyed. You were thinking about wanting some of his tea earlier, but now that it’s here, you’re torn between indulging him or not. As your eyes narrow on the steam that rises off the amber liquid, Levi pipes up finally.

“I didn’t poison it, if that’s what you’re wondering.” He mumbles. You flicker your eyes over to him, but his gaze stays glued to the TV in front.

You let out a soft huff and reach for it, taking the handle in between two fingers and pulling it up to your mouth. Upon the first sip, you withhold a sigh of content. Levi always knew how to make a mean cup of tea. But you won’t say that to him right now. You’re still fuming, tea or no. With that thought, you down it the best you can despite the scorching heat of it as it burns itself down to the pit of your stomach.

You stand when you’ve finished, placing the cup back onto the saucer and then turning around to fold the blanket back up. The space is turning tense by the second and you don’t want to deal with this right now. After placing the blanket on the armrest, you reach down to grab your tea set as well as Levi’s, but his hand stops you as his fingers close around your wrist once again.

“Stay. Please? I want to talk.” You side eye him, noting the nervousness in his eyes. If it wasn’t for that, you would have stormed off. For once, it seems Levi is ready to talk, and whether you were ready or not, you needed to listen.

Setting the saucers back down, you sit on the other side of the couch again, facing him with your arms placed over your chest. Only now do you realize you’re still in a nightgown that barely covers your ass and no bra. Trying to be natural about it, you grab the pillow that sits in the middle of the cushion and pull it to your chest to cover up.

“Are you having trouble sleeping?” He rubs the back of his neck as he watches you. His anxiety looks like it’s about to overflow.

‘Is that really all you want to talk about? Small talk?’

“No! Of course not.” He grumbles. He mirrors you, folding his arms across his chest. He’s getting defensive again.

‘Then what do you want?’ You click your tongue in annoyance.

“I don’t know wha-…” He falters.

‘You do know what you want. You just won’t say it.’

“It’s not that simple.”

‘But you know, don’t you? What is holding you back? What is making this so difficult for you to talk to me?’ Your signs come out more forceful than you meant.

His arms fall into his lap as his focus darts to the tv off to the side. You eye him warily and purse your lips while you wait for him to continue, which he does after sighing heavily in frustration.

“I’m afraid, okay? I’ve never felt so conflicted about stuff like this before. But I’m sorry I’ve been ignoring you all day. It wasn’t my intention to hurt you, I just didn’t know how to face you. Or what to even say to you.”

“I’m sorry.” he says quietly, shifting his gaze back to your face.

The look in his eyes is chock-full of anxiety and panic. Your fingers are flying before you can stop them. The strong walls of anger you had put up for protection start crumbling away, making room for disappointment as well as regret for making him feel this way.

‘I shouldn’t have kissed you, I’m sorry to have caused you so much strife.’ You bite the inside of your cheek.

Levi scoffs at that, his gray eyes cutting over to you, narrowing. He doesn’t say anything right away, instead using this moment to shift on the couch until his knees are against his chest as he faces you a couple feet away. 

“Don’t be sorry.” He whispers finally, dark eyes piercing into yours.

‘You’ve been brushing me off all day. It’s because I kissed you when I shouldn’t have. You hate me. And you regret it even now.’ You feel the tears from earlier start to well again, but you refuse to let them spill in front of Levi.

“Why would I hate you?”

‘I just feel like I ruined our friendship with my actions, and you wouldn’t talk to me about it so I also feel like you want nothing to do with me because of it.’

“I don’t hate you.” He mutters, eyes shifting away before jumping back to yours. “I could never hate you.”

‘Then why won't you talk to me?’

Levi gets up abruptly and starts pacing back and forth in front of you with his shaky fingers raking through his hair. The anxiety radiating off him is palpable.

“It’s hard to put into words.” Levi says simply. A scowl appears as he pinches the bridge of his nose between fingers. He continues to pace, eyes half closed as he mutters to himself. You hear something about ‘not being used to this’ and ‘being blindsided’.

You lean forward and grab his pant leg with tight fingers. His sweatpants’ waistband slides down his hip from the sudden force of your grip, immobilizing him unless he wanted them pulled down any further. His steely eyes snap to your troubled expression and he softens immediately, hands dropping to his sides.

‘Just try.’ You give him your best pleading eyes, bottom lip jutting out as far as it can go.

Levi side eyes you as you hold him in place, his lips pinched into a thin line. He opens his mouth as he attempts to figure out what he wanted to say next. It takes a few tries but eventually, he settles on the last thing you’d expected him to say. It’s like his naturally stoic demeanor melts into something completely unrecognizable – not like you were complaining.

“When you kissed me, it was like I understood everything and nothing at the same time. I was so confused.” Levi mutters under his breath, sitting back down on the couch but this time on the cushion closest to you. His thigh brushes up against your knees, sending tingles up your spine from the sudden contact.

“Ever since you’ve stumbled back into my life, I couldn’t understand why you were always on my mind. I think I do now.” He continues without missing a beat. “I think I’ve always cherished you in some capacity, just in different stages.” Levi places his face in his hands that were propped up against his knees. After a few seconds, his head turns to you with a familiar expression. The way he looks at you reminds you of the little boy next door all those years ago.

“Leeeeeviii!!” You yell as you bound down the front steps without a care in the world. Your brother and Levi currently sit on the lawn, messing around with their action figures who were currently in a heated battle. In your excitement, you completely miss the bottom step and stumble down onto your hands and knees, rough concrete digging into your skin.

The wails that come out of you are loud enough that the dogs across the street start barking. A pair of hands are on you in an instant, helping to pull you up and onto the bottom step that had caused you so much trouble in the first place.

“I’ll go get some bandages.” Your brother says in a panic, running up the stairs and back in the house you had just come out of.

“You’re okay, it’s just some scratches.” You look up through blurry lashes to see Levi staring at your bleeding knees. You’re not going to bleed out, but crimson is trickling down your legs and it’s enough to make you cry harder.

Levi takes your little hands into his slightly bigger ones and inspects them. He brushes off the small gravel that had embedded itself into your skin, his tongue stuck between his teeth in focus. You observe him as best as you can despite the salty water obscuring your vision. Levi’s eyelashes flutter across his cheeks as he turns your hands over to get a better look at them.

“Not cut, just a little dirty. Nothing that can’t be fixed.” He says softly to you. Blue-gray eyes look up into yours and you realize you stopped crying. He offers you a lopsided grin as he squeezes your hand a few times.

“See? Not broken. You’ll be okay.”

He was always so calm with you. You shoot him a toothy grin while squeezing his hand back a few times. So calm. So safe.

“Levi, I’m never letting you go.”

You laugh at the sudden memory that flashes before your vision. You’re grateful for Levi in many ways, despite the fact he made you mad sometimes. Memory recovery was one of the reasons why. Levi’s eyes widen at your sudden outburst.

“What?”

‘Remember when I ate shit outside of my house when we were kids?’

He hesitates as he thinks.

“Which time?” His lips twitch at his comment and you realize it probably wasn’t the first time you had fallen. You appreciate your resilient nature as a kid, taking note of the small scars that probably decorated your knees even to this day.

‘Levi, I think there’s always been a part of me that’s always felt safe with you. And, I think having a future without you in it, no matter what that means, isn’t something I want to see. So, I think that’s why I was so torn up about this. The idea of you leaving just tears me apart.’

Levi sits up at your confession, staring at you in curiosity. There’s a new look of assurance on his face as he eyes you. A pink flush creeps up his neck and into his cheekbones as he focuses back on the colorful screen ahead.

“I don’t have any plans to leave.” He mutters.

There’s more silence, only cut up by the voices on the television and distant crashing of waves from down below. You watch him closely as he blinks slowly, propping his chin up in both arms that sit against his thighs. Before you can sign again, he speaks softly.

“I don’t regret it.” He side-eyes you, as if he were afraid to face you for such a statement.

‘What do you mean you don’t regret it?’

“It means I don’t regret that you kissed me.”

‘Did you want me to kiss you?’

Silence.

“You should probably get some sleep. I’m sure tomorrow will be just as exhausting. We can talk more then.” Levi says quietly, changing the subject.

You narrow your eyes at him, annoyed he would close up after so much progress. But then a yawn so big escapes your mouth and you shove your face into the pillow you were still hugging until it’s done. When you look back up, you see Levi watching you in amusement before his expression changes into indifference quickly. Maybe this would be best saved for the next day when you were both awake.

‘What about you?’

“I don’t sleep much, you know that. I’ll be okay.” He shrugs his shoulders as he gets up from the sofa. He reaches for the remote and turns off the tv then carefully places it back on the coffee table. Then he turns around to offer you a hand which you take, still hugging the pillow to your chest. He raises an eyebrow at that but turns on his heel to head to his bedroom. With a soft sigh, you place the pillow back and follow him down the hallway to your room.

The need to figure out what was going through his mind was strong, but your exhaustion hits harder. As you pass the kitchen, you note the time was about to hit five in the morning which means you have been up for a while. Despite the amount of sleep from earlier, you feel your body giving in to the heaviness of fatigue – no doubt a consequence of having such a taxing day.

You watch as Levi stops outside of his door, right hand gripping the doorknob in white knuckles. As you pass him, you reach over and place your hand on top of his. When his eyes fall on you, you offer a small smile.

 ‘What’s wrong?’

Before you can pull away, Levi says your name and stares over at you with longing.

“What am I to you?”

With shaky hands, you sign back, ‘What would you like to be, Levi?’ Adrenaline courses through your veins like lava at the sudden question.

“Yours.” It’s so soft, barely audible. And yet so full of conviction.

Levi looks down at your lips quickly before jumping back up to your eyes. In a swift motion, he releases the doorknob and grabs your hand, pulling you in closer to him with sudden force. His gaze is as firm as the grip on you, holding you in place. When he speaks again, his words come out measured.

“You’re right, I do know what I want. My answer is yours. I want to be yours.”

Your eyes widen at the sudden confession, and you stare at him with your lips parted in surprise. As if time slowed down, just like in the elevator, Levi tilts your chin in his direction - pinching it gently between his thumb and index finger. He leans in slowly, his eyes staring into yours as he wavers inches away. Levi is so close to you that his hot breath hits your face, and you smell hints of his black tea and traces of pine.

“And I want to kiss you. Is that okay?” You nod, dazed by his proximity.

Carefully, his mouth meets yours and you instantly distinguish the difference between this kiss and the one in the elevator. This one is hesitant, nervous. But traces of ravenous hunger linger as an aftertaste.

That same heat blazes from your face all the way down to your toes. Levi’s fingers move from your chin to right under your jaw, tilting your face into him even more. After a moment, he breaks away granting you a moment to catch your breath. His face is still inches from yours, gray eyes fluttering closed as your forehead rests against his. Your name tumbles out of his mouth, almost like a beg.

“I need to know.” He pulls away from you, the air around you instantly turning cold from the lack of his presence. “Will you let me?”

‘Let you what, Levi?’ You know what he wants, but you just want to hear him say it again. And again and again and again.

“Let me be yours.” Your smile would have blinded the whole world.

‘Mine.’

He leans in again, cupping your whole face in his calloused hand and locking his lips back over yours. The hunger intensifies just like the buzzing throughout your whole system. You open your mouth slightly to let his tongue in to explore and it does, eliciting a quiet moan from you. You swear you hear Levi growl in response. Oh, how touch starved you two were for each other.

As if in sync, Levi opens the bedroom door and you both stumble still lip-locked into his room. He pushes you up against the door, shutting it behind you. If you weren’t so lost in the kiss, you would have been worried by how loud the slam must have been. Levi presses up against you more, sandwiching you between the heat of his body and the cool wooden door behind you. You already feel how hard he is under his sweatpants.

You’re more inexperienced than most so there’s hesitation in your kiss – something Levi picks up on quickly. He pulls away but leaves his hands on your face as he looks at you with apprehension.

“We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to tonight.” He whispers to you. His voice is as sincere as it always is, albeit husky. You place a hand over his that sits on your face, leaning into it as you do before signing back.

‘I want all of you.’ You offer a loving smile, wide and full of adoration for the man in front of you. Levi’s eyes bounce back and forth between yours as if searching for something. He finds nothing but pure truth.

Levi’s lips crash back onto yours, careful but just as heated. As his marred lips leave and make their way down your neck, one of your hands slides up his chest to his undercut until your fingers find what they were looking for, tangling in his raven hair.

The moment you feel his teeth pinch your soft skin, another moan comes out louder than before. Having him pressed up against you like that, the outline of his cock pressing into your stomach, you start to feel your patience slowly unraveling.

Your nervousness flies out the window. This was Levi, you had no reason to worry. Levi is safe to you. He would take care of you as he always does. And you would do the same. The thought makes you smile up at the ceiling. Before you know it, your hands push against Levi’s soft skin, and he pulls away quickly. Worry pools into his dark eyes as he watches you carefully.

“Is everything okay?” He murmurs hoarsely.

Instead of signing back, you force him to step back towards the bed with your palm pressed against his chest until the back of his knees hit the edges of the mattress. The force alone makes him lurch back so that he falls back onto the soft duvet, catching himself on his hands so that he’s sitting up.

In a swift motion, you straddle his hips, and your lips find solace on his mouth yet again. You don’t hesitate to push your tongue through to taste him again, wrapping your arms around his neck and pressing yourself into him more.

You don’t mean to, but you find your hips grinding on to him, the only barriers between your already soaked self and Levi being the clothes you wish were off. The pressure and friction against your very sensitive core make you pull away for breath. Levi’s soft grunts are music to your ears and his lips start trailing back down your neck, his teeth finding purchase in your soft skin yet again. His fingers slide up your back, pulling your night dress up with it.

Then a groan comes out of his clenched teeth, full of frustration.

Levi pulls away again and stares up at you with heavy-lidded eyes full of impatience. You note that pink flush of his that you love so much, deeper in color and painting across his cheeks. As you stare down at him, you come to love this version of Levi and you want nothing but to see his face contort at the way you grinded into him. But he places his hands on your hips to keep you still, much to your dismay. You watch him carefully as he speaks, his voice husky.

“I-uh. I want this, I do. But we need to be safe. And I didn’t bri-“ He averts his gaze, staring at the corner of the bed. You were so lost in the exhilaration of it all, you didn’t think about it. A thick appreciation for him crashes over you because his cautious nature, even if it did slightly kill the heat of the moment.

‘Give me a second. I can help with this. Stay here.’ You give him a chaste kiss before sliding off his lap and out the door quickly. You tiptoe your way back to your room, making sure the only sounds that can be heard are the clock ticking on the wall and the muffled continuous crashing of waves just outside.

When you slip into your room, you see Hange flat on their back with their hair tousled everywhere. Soft snores escape their lips, a telltale sign they are out like a light. Hange wasn’t promiscuous in the slightest, but they weren’t closed minded either. And with that, it meant they stayed prepared.

You creep over to their unorganized suitcase where clothes were strewn all over the place. Reaching into the top compartment, your fingers feel the sharp edges of a foil package and slip it out. You blush to yourself as you think back to Levi’s outline as you make sure it’s the right size.

A snort from behind you makes you freeze in place, breath hitched as you sit crouching in silence. A moment passes. Another minute. Hange’s snores fill the room again and you let loose your held breath, shoulders sagging. You’re sure this conversation would come up again later, but you didn’t want to deal with it right now. Especially with Levi waiting for you.

It takes you next to no time to slip out of your room and back into Levi’s, closing his door with a soft click. Turning around, you show him the condom in between pinched fingers and smile widely to Levi who was still sitting on the edge of the bed for you.

“Did you come prepared?” He raises an eyebrow at the glittering foil.

‘No, but Hange do-‘

“I don’t need to know any more.” Levi blurts out, hands up in defeat. A silent laugh shakes your shoulders as you make your way back over to him. You fling the package onto the bed before straddling him again, noting how hard he was underneath you still.

‘Now where were we?’ You sign with a small smile. Levi smirks and places his hand against your cheek, his thumb tracing your bottom lip gently. You playfully nip at him, and he huffs in amusement.

“You’re breathtakingly beautiful, you know that?” He asks you softly before pulling your face into his and locking his lips on yours. It’s a saccharine-laced kiss. His hands find your hips again, lowering until they are fully on your ass, and they squeeze. A squeak escapes into his mouth as he does, and it just makes his grip on your skin tighter.

Pulling away, you grip his t-shirt from the bottom and start tugging it up. Levi leans back so you can pull it up and over his head, discarding it on the bed next to him. Your hands trail down his toned chest and abs, his skin burning under your touch. It’s soft despite the hard muscles underneath them. Your mouth finds his again as your hands explore, not hesitating to slip your tongue into Levi’s already parted lips.

Your hands find their way back in his hair, fingers entwining through the fine strands. You can’t help it – you tug gently, and a small whine comes out of his pouty lips as he’s pulled away from your mouth. Something inside you burns and again you feel your razor thin patience cutting at you. 

As if Levi reads your mind, he wraps an arm around your back while leaving his other hand cupping your ass and stands up effortlessly. In a mere moment, he turns around with you in his strong arms and then gently tosses you on to the bed. A soft laugh escapes you as you land. Everything around you smells like Levi.  

Levi stands at the foot of the bed and stares down at you ravenously, a look you don’t think you’ve ever seen on anyone outside of the movies on your television screen. You sit up on your elbows and watch as he gets on the bed and slowly makes his way on top of you. He meets your lips with his own as his body hovers over yours, his fingers lightly trailing up your arms resulting in goosebumps following in their wake.

Slowly, you lie back down flush to the mattress, his knees digging into the sheets on either side of your thighs. Levi’s lips start to slide down your jaw which gives you some space to breathe but your breaths quickly turn into soft whimpers as his fingers lightly trace across your lower abdomen. His other hand snakes around the back of your neck, supporting it as he starts planting more soft kisses down it.

 “You can stop me at any time, okay?” Levi whispers, his hot breath tickling your neck. You nod, only wishing you had your voice to say his name and tell him you wanted him. As long as he was with you, you would always want him.

Levi’s hand that was teasing your waist makes its way back up to the lacy lining that adorns the edge of your nightdress, long fingers tugging down the thin fabric that holds your breasts in place. You’re glad Levi isn’t watching your face because you are multiple shades of embarrassment.

But Levi doesn’t say anything, instead he takes a breast in hand and massages it gently as his kisses start trailing down past your collarbone. Before you know it, his soft lips clamp around your already very sensitive nipple, eliciting a loud moan from you. You can’t help but dig your nails into the firm muscles of his back in response, dragging them down as Levi bites down gently. An exhale of hot air blows out of Levi’s mouth against your skin when you do that, a small grunt escaping with it.

You feel the absence of his lips immediately as his lips leave and the wetness left behind leaves your skin defenseless against the cool air. Levi softly kisses back up your sternum then pulls away, leaning forward on both hands that now sit on each side of your face. His tousled hair falls forward, creating shadows across his face as he stares down with that same hungry look, only this time it’s tinted with pure amazement.

“Still okay?” He whispers down to you.

You blink up at him and swallow hard. You were more than okay but as always, your words fail you. Instead, you nod and the hands that once dragged down his back are now trailing down his chest again. The feeling of his skin against yours sends electricity through your whole body, and you want more. You need more. Your hands flatten against right above his rapidly beating heart as you do your best to give him a look that conveys ‘more’.

“I’ve got you.” Those were the words he had muttered down to you the day before as you fell asleep in his arms on the beach. It wasn’t just cherishment that he held for you; it was deeper than that. Hange’s words from earlier flit through your mind, only briefly. How could you not have fully noticed until now?

He leans down and places his lips back on yours, soft and sweet. As your lips lock on to his, you feel his feather light touch trace back down to the elastic band of your underwear. But instead of teasing you like he had before, you feel his fingers dip under the cloth and further down to…

Any other thoughts racing through your mind cease to exist as his delicate fingers slide down your slick folds. You don’t mean to moan as loud as you do and fortunately Levi’s mouth muffles it for you. He hums in response to your reactions, smiling into the kiss.

Levi’s lips graze back down to just under your ear as his fingers rub small circles around your clit eliciting more moans from you. Your labored breaths fill the space as the white-hot heat from his touch reverberates throughout your whole body, tingling down to the tips of your toes. He whispers your name under a heavy breath, mutterings of how beautiful you are to him floating up to your ear. All sweet words mirror the moans you made.

You reach down to Levi’s hardened bulge that currently fights against the stretched fabric of his joggers. Your fingers close around him as much as they can through the thick cloth. Upon contact, Levi’s breath hitches. You give him a gentle squeeze resulting in a guttural groan that comes through his clenched teeth.

In response, his touch burns deep into your core as he carefully pushes a digit into your warm entrance, the palm of his hand applying pressure onto your swollen clit as he does. His movements are gentle as he pumps it in and out slowly, and you feel his finger curving up into a spot so good your toes curl. The euphoria turns into building heat, and you know what’s about to happen - but you wanted more. You wanted him now more than ever and this was not enough. More, more, more.

A soft whine comes out of you as your fingers tighten around him. A light huff tickles against your skin – Levi’s way of chuckling.

“Are you sure you’re ready?” He mumbles, his lips finding your earlobe and nipping at it gently. Reaching over with your other hand, you place your hand against his cheek and pull him up to you, planting your lips right onto his. It’s a hungry kiss, one conveying you were ready for him. You love him, you want him. You need him.

With that, Levi withdraws his hand and slides himself off you and the bed. You sit up and watch as he tugs down his pants along with his boxers. You knew what was coming and yet you couldn’t stop the blood rushing to your cheeks in shy embarrassment. You look away, staring at the ceiling as you hear Levi pick his clothes up including the shirt you threw on the bed, and then place them neatly on the dresser behind him. Your name quietly tumbles out his lips for your attention.

When you look up at him, you see him offering a hand to you. Your eyes flicker down for a mere second before going back up to Levi’s soft gaze. You feel as if you could faint on the spot.

Instead, you push yourself closer to the edge of the bed and take Levi’s hand. In a delicate flourish, you’re in his arms again and he pulls you in for another deep, lingering kiss. His fingers bunch at the bottom of your night dress and start lifting it up. You let him, pulling away enough so he can get the soft fabric up and over your head. He folds it and turns to place it next to his pants. When he circles back on you, he takes a moment to observe your half-naked self.

Being in your thin bathing suit was one thing, but to be standing there as the cool air conditioning drifted across your unprotected self was in a whole other universe. You shift your weight awkwardly and twist your arms together as you avert your gaze to the piled-on dresser.

Levi steps closer to you and takes both of your arms in a gentle grip and pulls them away from each other so that you’re exposed to him. You force your gaze on him despite how nervous you were to be in front of him. Levi’s dark eyes trail down your body but not in an ogling kind of way – he watches you with wonder.

“You’re just so beautiful. Every part of you.” He releases your arms, and his hands are back on you, sliding down your waist and landing on your hips. His fingers leave a trail of tingles. “I want you, all of you. If you’ll have me. Is that okay?” He whispers to you, pulling you by the hips into him. The length of his hardened self presses against your bare stomach as he does.

You sign that same simple word, ‘Mine’.

With that, Levi gently pushes you down into the bed with a hard kiss, leaning into you until your back is pressed against the mattress. He loops his fingers into the sides of your panties and tugs them down your legs, pulling away from you yet again to place them next to the rest of the discarded clothes. At that moment, he takes the time to rip a corner off the metallic package with his teeth, the foil discarded onto the dresser once done.

He grabs your hips again, this time pulling you flush to the edge of the bed as he stands at the foot of it. His hand makes its way to your thigh and his perfectly trimmed nails press into your soft skin as he holds you close. The tip of his cock teases your entrance and if you had a voice, you would have begged for it. As usual, you didn’t have to.

Levi leans down to you and kisses you slowly, teeth brushing against your swollen bottom lip. He places his other hand on the bed next to your head, using it to keep himself propped up. His hair hangs low as he hovers, already moist with sweat from the proximity and building body heat between the two of you. You use one hand to grip his forearm while the other hand slides up the back of his head and into his sweaty hair, fingers digging into his scalp. As the kiss deepens, so do his movements into you.

Levi slides himself in gently, using his hold on your thigh to control his speed. He lifts your leg up against his hip for a better angle but the sharp gasp from you stops Levi in his tracks. He stays there, feeling your warm walls hugging tightly around him.

He pulls away from the kiss and hovers over you again, looking down into your eyes with worry. It's been a while since you have been touched like this, let alone this intimate. You don’t think you’ve ever felt this loved. Levi makes this all so easy despite the anxious knot in your chest. You realize it isn’t just this that he makes easy, though. It’s everything around you. Every issue, every solution.

You imagine you’re looking at him just the same, a small smile etching into your flushed and hot face. Before he can ask again, you move your hand up and under his fingers that digs into the bed next to you. Lacing your fingers in with his, you squeeze his hand a few times.

A way to say you were okay and that you trusted him. And always would.

He looks down at you curiously but then realization dawns on him. His concern washes away to reveal his own version of adoration for you. It’s one of your favorite expressions on him by far.

In a breathless moan, Levi pushes himself all the way in. He presses his lips onto yours, muffling your moans that rise in volume as he slowly rocks into you. The hand he had on your thigh tightens as he pulls you into him more, quickening his pace slightly. The new angle hits a spot that almost puts you at the brink of finishing right then and there.

Levi lets go of your hand and moves his arm under your neck again, giving him the opportunity to trail his now sloppy kisses and teeth down it. Those razor-sharp teeth sink into your skin as one of his thrusts hit simultaneously. You bite into the back of your hand to keep yourself from wailing out and waking the rest of your roommates. The other hand that now sits against his sweaty chest digs into his skin, burying deeper with every thrust. It feels as if every part of your body burns like wildfire from his touch. Your name comes out in a groan this time, husky and deep.

“God, you’re fucking beautiful. You feel so good.” He buries his face into your collarbone as he moans your name again, shakily.

Levi thrusts soon become clumsy, feeling him slam into you inconsistently and with every hit comes more pressure against your clit. Heat builds into your core, the same as before. You’re pulling at his hair, in an attempt to warn him you were close. Throaty curses leave his lips as you both feel each other tense up.

In an instant, it’s like the world crumbles around you as you hit your limit. The walls surrounding Levi clenches as each wave of pleasure rolls through your whole system. Your orgasm sends Levi over the edge and in one deep thrust of his hips, you feel his body shudder as his moan almost turns into a whine. His teeth bite into you again as he rides through his own climax, filling up the condom within you.

Levi releases your leg and lets it fall gently against the bed before collapsing on top of you. He uses an arm to keep himself propped up enough to not suffocate you with his body weight. You focus on the heavy panting emanating from the both of you as you come down from your high. His heart beats in sync with your own against as he lays on top of you, digging his face into the crook of your neck.

You wrap your arms around his head and hold him close, despite the heat and sticky sweat between your bodies. Levi nuzzles his nose into sweaty soft skin and chuckles, low and hoarse. You both continue to lay like that until the breathing slows down to a normal pace. The next time he speaks, his voice is so soft and barely audible that you almost miss it.

“I love you too.”

☾ Previous Chapter: June - Part 3 ☾ Next Chapter: June - Part 5 [Final]

[tickldpnk8]

Shipper Tag Game

Thanks for the tags @windsweptinred and @writing-for-life! Sorry it's taken me a bit: this week has been really hectic, but this is a fun one! I suspect that my answers may be a bit of a blend of both of yours.

What ship were you completely obsessed with as a teenager, but now you don't care about anymore?

I still actively ship the same pairings I did as a teenager. Mostly because I tend to like canon pairings, so when I engage with a fandom, it tends to be through that lens.

What ship would you consider your first one?

The earliest ship I remember liking is Clark Kent/Lois Lane from Lois and Clark. But this was pre-computer in my house growing up. The first ship I really got into online fan culture with and fan fiction was Harry/Ginny from HP.

Your first fanfic was about which couple?

So I've never written fanfic: I'm more of a fan art person, although I'm pretty shy about posting it. My earliest fan art was probably something Disney...most likely The Little Mermaid as a kid. My most recent foray back into fan art was for The Unknown and Static Strange, Dreamling fic. Otherwise, I've just had fun painting Morpheus' hair.

Do you remember the first couple you saw fan art of?

Most likely Harry/Ginny: there was this excellent artist, whose name (I think) was Marta, who used to post watercolor sketches on her own site called The Art Dungeon: they were gorgeous and really helped shape how I pictured the characters as I read the books. I'd love to find her artwork again to see what her portfolio is like now if she's still working as an artist.

Have you ever gotten into ship discourse?

Oh man...do you know how non-confrontational I am?? I won't touch it with a 10 ft pole: first whiff of a debate going heated and I nope out of there. I took a peek at the Loki tags when season 2 came out and couldn't close my browser fast enough. Ship and let ship, but don't ask me to comment on it.

Did you use to have any NOTP or have one currently?

I generally avoid anything that a huge power imbalance: (think: underage student with an adult teacher). But other than that, I've come to embrace any ship if the writing is good enough. Almost any trope too.

Who were the last couple in the last fanfic you read?

I'm super excited to see Hounds is updating again, even if I've largely moved on from actively pursuing Dreamling. And I LOVED @writing-for-life's The Light of Stars (Morpheus x OC). I dabbled in a few Loki one-shots recently, too.

Currently, do you have any OTPs?

Man, that's hard...because I'm honestly not reading fanfic for the ships: I'm mostly reading it to satisfy the brain rot. So while I tend to prefer canon-adjacent or gen fics (missing moments, alt POV, etc), it seems that the best way to find those is through searching ship tags. Sandman seems to be the exception: I want all of these characters to pair up with all of the other characters and all bets are off the table. If the writing is solid and the plot is intriguing, I'm in!

Is there any couple that, to this day, that you are extremely mad about not getting into?

Not really: I don't invest so much in the ships I like and hate that I can't Ship and Let Ship. Likewise, if I want to read something, I will. And if it's not for me, I'll just ignore it. I also don't get so invested that if it doesn't become canon I'm upset: I kind of figure all things are possible in Lucienne's library

Is there any ship you used to dislike but now you think they're kind of interesting?

I honestly didn't really like the idea of Dreamling to start: it's not a canon pairing, I wouldn't have put the spin on Hob's character that fandom seems to have latched onto, and I really like that he's the one platonic friendship that Morpheus has able to form. But I find the idea of someone living for that long infinitely intriguing so I dipped into the tags, and some of the most well-known and well-beloved early fics for this pairing really caught my attention and hooked me in. But since then...my interest has waned. As others have pointed out, it's just everywhere and hard to filter. It's also starting to feel a bit OOC as fandom does what they do in shaping a character's portrayal.

I tend to go in spurts where I really like a certain dynamic and then I get bored with the fic selection for a pairing. But generally, I'll always come back to it after enough time. I really want to see more Desire-centric pairings like Desunity as I think they're a really interesting character and it could be interesting to explore them in different relationships given their function.

Do you have any ship that, in the past, would have been considered normal but now you would be cancelled over?

I've been in fandom spaces a long time, but I don't think any of them would be considered problematic today. It's more likely that there are things I used to feel were problematic, but I'm actually okay with now. I've grown a lot as a reader (and a human) over time.

What is your favorite crack ship?

Prob Morpheus and his Helmet (have we named this yet @writing-for-life?? it needs a worthy ship name). I'm also fairly certain that I coined the name Timeslayer for the Loki fandom (or might have simultaneously come up with the name when others did). But I've never seen a ship sink so quickly.

What is the couple you read the most fanfics about?

Lately, it's been Dream x Joanna (ConstantDream) coming off of a big DreamMuse kick that was followed by Dream x Lucienne.

What do most of your ships have in common?

That's hard! I was going to say Hard Candy Shell of a Guy reveals he has a Gooey Nougat Center...but really it just comes down to 1) is the writing good? 2) is the plot intriguing? 3) do the characters feel in-character? If you satisfy those 3 things, I'll likely read it.

What do you absolutely hate in a ship?

Absolutely nothing outright. I'll sometimes go off a ship a little once it reaches that point where fanon locks in too tight around it. But I think that's a very me problem, as I crave variation/new experiences/ideas. I'll still love the ship, I'll just know that's just my time to move onto something new and come back and visit every so often.

^ @windsweptinred couldn't have nailed this better. I crave new: new perspectives, new takes on a character or dynamic, new AU scenarios. So once things get a bit too repetitive across authors, I'll pull back and visit something else.

This was fun! Thanks again for the tags. I've been minimally online this week so am not sure who else has done this: if you follow me and want to participated consider this your chance!

[wildknightblaze]

people i want to get to know better

tagged by @ubejamjar, ty :3 don't know who else to tag in response so if you see this and feel like it, consider this an open invitation.

Last Song: A Risky Bet from the recent FFXIV Dawntrail raids. a little weird because my group hasn't even gotten to that part of the fight yet, but it's awesome to have in the background while I'm compiling the strategies and shit for the rest of the group. the drum & bass remixed into the song that was already burrowing into my mind bc it's essentially a Crush 40 3D Sonic theme from my adolescence is just 🤌

Favorite Color: an easy one, right? bet it's soooo hard to guess that the person whose OC has red hair and is always wearing red to the point that she looks weird in anything not red, her favorite color is red, right? trick question. my favorite color is blue. my car is blue, i'd like to paint my walls blue when i have the energy, i just find a deep naval blue to be really soothing, and probably the color i myself look best in. (turns out Ellie has her own tastes. :V)

Currently Watching: rewatching the first season of Gravity Falls because a friend mentioned it, and I never actually watched season 2, so hoping to move into that. After that I'm thinking of rolling a die to pull up something random from the backlog that's been around for years. Or maybe Arcane, idk. Or The Bear. friends have been singing the praises of The Bear.

Last Movie: The MST3k episode of Space Mutiny. A really fun time except, uh, Mike and Crow did a pretty transphobic-stereotype sketch in the middle of it. :/ Stuff made in the 90s sure was made in the 90s. At least the rest of it was pretty funny.

Sweet/Spicy/Savory: I am such a spice baby that I got an accidental order of spicy chicken nuggets a couple of days ago and they actually made me sick. >.> Sweetness is nice, but I have way less of a sweet tooth than I do for something like a homemade chicken sandwich.

Relationship Status: single

Current Obsessions: if i am not logging into FFXIV even when i have literally run out of stuff to do, i am dead. part of it is also probably how i'm - not exactly leading my raid static, but I'm the one compiling the strats and teaching them to everyone else (and then executing them wrongly to lead by bad example lmfao). Other than FFXIV though, I've been having a lot of fun with a couple of indies I picked up to delve into while recovering from surgery. Tactical Breach Wizards has a really compelling and satisfying gameplay loop and a fun story; the characters are very snarky so like if the MCU has ruined that for you that can be off-putting, but it's still better-written on average lol. I haven't delved too much into Fields of Mistria but I really want to, it's cute af. I'm also thinking it's about time for another Ace Attorney, but I'm not sure if I want to do Investigations 2 IN HD IN ENGLISH OFFICIALLY or finish Great Ace Attorney 2 ALSO IN HD IN ENGLISH OFFICIALLY... ALSO, friends have started a weekly Civilization VI night in discord in the wake of the announcement of Civ VII, and I reallllly want to deep dive into that. Many fond memories of getting lost in the easy loop of V. also missed opportunity that they didn't call it CiVIlization, or CiVIIlization.

Last Thing in My Search History: "surface pro flex keyboard deals." there are none. absolutely insane how much microsoft is charging for something like this. >:( (the "flex" is important, because turns out the normal surface pro keyboard that is already ridiculously expensive doesn't have bluetooth connectivity, which idk if your thing's approaching two hundred fucking us dollars it doesn't seem like an unreasonable expectation for it to be wireless-capable!!) i gotta stop this before i get really mad about capitalism and the tech industry

[luck-and-larceny]

Bark: A dog heist

Wealthy people love having things. They get a sick thrill out of it, I think, to be surrounded by things– all the things that people like you and me could never have if we had to pay for it the way those people want us to.

The rarer a thing they have the better. And the more expensive a rare thing is even better still. I'm convinced that half these sickos don't remember the names of the items they acquire, just the price tag.

This holds true for everything, really. If there is something that can be hoarded away in a collection and kept away from those who might love it for what is, rather than for its cost, you can bet some rich fuck has taken it up on themselves to start that collection.

Paintings, jewelry, sculptures, houses, clothes, vintage wine, whatever. It doesn't matter! There is a rich person who is happy to have the thing locked away so that no one else has it.

This is true for animals, too.

And, listen, I've done animal heist jobs. I don't usually like them. Please, don't tell me what a good person I am for stealing away fancy, little animals from fancy, little assholes. The animals are always uncooperative. I respect that, but I don't have to like it! Kestrel and I once had to spirit away a horrible nightmare of an opo-opo from a wealthy idiot. I still have scars from the claws on my shoulder!

As far as I'm concerned, if an animal is being treated reasonably well by its rich collector it's fine. Wealthy fucks haven't yet figured out how to breed animals to care about how much something costs and so, in my opinion, animals are the best thing for those idiots to collect. Let them tear up the expensive curtains, break the expensive pottery, and shit on the expensive sheets. Perfection.

On the other hand…

Sometimes you meet a person so intent on the collecting part that they completely forego the caring part. Sometimes you've been given a job by your world weary fixer to subtly break into a place, steal a stack of papers, and get back out again. And sometimes you can tell your fixer isn't telling you the whole story (I'll be honest here, he rarely tells the whole story). He focuses on the words "quick" and "clean" and reiterates the "subtle" part.

But you and he both know that if he really wanted quick, clean, and subtle he never would have asked you to do this job in the first place.

And maybe you break into that fancy mansion expecting it to be like every other fancy mansion you've ever broken into. You find yourself wondering if the thrill of it is finally starting to fade for you. Is this boring? Why are you doing these jobs if they're boring? Given the time you've spent organizing how to get in here when the place is mostly empty– and how to get around the people still inside– you'd hoped this would be more exciting. You could have planned the ultimate sexy hedonists' party in this time. You could have gotten sloppy drunk so many different times! Why the fuck are you here stealing a stack of papers instead of–

And then you see why Sibert really had you come here. He presents himself as an oh so serious, the business is my life, I hate surprises, I never smile when a frown will do, absolute stick in the mud, I was somehow old by the time I was thirteen sort of man. But he's a secret softie. And he loves animals.

And this place? This place does not love animals. It only loves having them. There are mistreated animals in cages in the room the stack of papers are in. The dogs are so cowed that they don't even bark. They just stare, too scared to lift their heads.

You grab the papers. You think about just going. What else can you even do here? There are too many animals. There is only one you. There are still people in this place. You'll get caught.

Maybe you'll come back later. With a plan. Maybe you just need time to think about this.

"I'll figure this out later," you tell a random dog. You don't know its breed. That's not your thing. Honestly, dogs aren't really your thing.

And then it barks.

It's quiet. Probably no one but you heard it. But it was defiant. It was a sound when all these animals had clearly been "trained" not to make one. And fuck you if you're not responsive to displays of defiance. You're not coming back later to do this. And you're not doing anything subtly. You were never really expected to in the first place.

You're going to save a dozen mistreated animals right fucking now.

You just happen to have a secret weapon: A friend who the Twelve blessed with extraordinary powers to whisper to animals and who doesn't particularly care about trespassing or "laws". All the people you love most are aligned with you on that point.

Like Sibert, Roman loves animals. And like you, he's not interested in these animals being here another single day.

And Nymeia? Her mood is so variable. Her opinion of you shifts day to day, bell to bell. But it seems she loves animals, too. She is firmly on your side for this "quick, clean, subtle heist."

Roman knows someone who can take care of these animals. He has a carriage to get them there. It might be easier to get them to the carriage if you take them in their cages. But you'll be caught before you get 12 animals out in cages and FUCK THAT you're not taking their prisons with them!

This is a prison break!

Your faces are hidden the best they can be.

You both know it's jail if you get caught and the likelihood of getting caught is so absurdly high right now. And you don't care.

There it is!

There's the thrill again!

There's the reason you do these jobs in the first place!

He's made friends with these animals in an instant. Less than instant. Automatically. Automagically. It has to be magic.

There are a few more defiant barks. These ones have been heard. There are people coming up the stairs to the room you're in. This could get bad.

This could get AWESOME.

By the time they're at the top of the stairs you're ready. Prisons unlocked! Animals worked up! They smell opportunity. They smell freedom! When the door opens all the animals burst through, knocking the one maid and two guards down. You slide down the bannister with your cargo barking defiantly as they race down the stairs.

You bark with them!!

You're not usually a dog person. But today? Oh, today you fucking are!

You're not a thief crawling through windows anymore tonight; you're a liberator swinging open the front door! A parade of loudly barking dogs follow you and your friend out and to the getaway vehicle.

Tonight the ward is not quiet. Tonight the ward is alive. It is chaos.

You will not get paid for the job you screwed up. But your fixer will be smiling behind his admonishments. And that might just be payment enough.

((Thank you to @the-wanted-man for letting me steal his character for this dumb story. We're all about stealing here.))

[ingravinoveritas]

Well hello ✨

I saw your response to Michael's Christmas post and I wanted to add something to that conversation that I've been thinking about since I saw it. I know he's been MIA lately because of the play in Australia but the post, and I think you mentioned this maybe, sort of gives feral sheen vibes... I think he is a little quirky, especially when it comes to twitter and sort of playing to the fans. This certainly was nowhere near as bad as what I've seen from past years but it was a little weird. I'm sure he's probably just tired from working and christ only knows what's going on with APAT and company, especially because they brought the kids. The baby is like practically brand new still... Don't know who thought it was a good idea for APAT and Co. to tag along but I digress, that's another story for another day. Anyway, I thought it was strange, as did a lot of other people it seems, that he tacked 'Merry Christmas from Us' on the end of the post Us? ??? Who is Us? APAT and your children? You and David and Georgia? Like, what in the hell? I get not having the kids in the picture, that's cool, but if you're gonna go out of your way to say "From us" why not include a least some of "us" in said picture? Of course, there's 101 ways to explain it away like APAT was sleeping, or she was busy (doing what, we'll never know), or he was alone, or whatever you wanna think. But the question is, why not wait so you can get a picture together to make a post like that? Because I bet all the money I have he doesn't even think to take pictures with her. Not now. Not before. and probably not in the future. Seriously, what pictures of the two of them have you ever seen that hasn't been taken by APAT herself, paps or red carpet photographers, or an outside friend; someone like Georgia? I can't think of one. Maybe someone else has seen it? Am I asking for a Unicorn here? Probably... So, with that being said, the main point I wanted to make was, I think he was purposely vague with the "us" description and posting the solo picture. I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't want her face attached to his social media with personal messages like "Merry Christmas from Us"--which begs the point, why say it in the first place? because he thinks he has to? because it would look suspicious otherwise? wonder why that would be??-- Anyway, he's vague because maybe one day, their won't be an "us" at least not with him and APAT. This is another one of those moments that I can't remember if he's ever posted a picture of him and her anywhere or even just her on his twitter? Retweeted anything she's done? I mean, Dude? It's not looking good. So, anyway, it makes sense (at least in my head) that he would leave it vague and generic so that in the future, it works with anybody he's with. I don't see him staying with her forever, which is sad. I mainly feel sorry for the kids tbh, but I just can't see it. I know that doesn't mean anything and at this point, as much as I don't really vibe with her, I'd rather them stay together in the long run (so long as they're not being toxic to each other and in the house) so the kids can have some sort of a semblance of having a home life with both parents. I I think down the line, all of the generic posts, the vague messages and things like that will come back around again and make more sense if they ever do breakup. Maybe I just over analysis everything but with past track records, it was practically calling my name lol

(This is in response to this post, for those who might’ve missed it.)

Hello, Anons! I appreciate you writing in to share your thoughts on that post. I’ve had multiple people reach out to me privately before and since then with similar thoughts, so you are very much not alone in noticing Michael’s holiday post/AL’s lack of one. I’ve also just gotten an Anon from Australia offering some very interesting tidbits about Michael and his behavior leading up to the opening of Amadeus, so I am going to answer that separately (and try not to have too much overlap between these two responses).

Anon #1: I completely agree with you, re: Michael’s quirky/”feral” presence on Twitter in the past. The picture he posted this year was very much a callback to 2019 when he did the 12 Days of Sheenmas thing, and was much more heavily involved with the fandom/being who he really is on Twitter than right now.

I also think it’s worth noting that for the last two Christmases, he’s been with David, at least in the time leading up to it. In 2020, he and David appeared on Graham Norton together to promote the second series of Staged (after having been apart and not seeing each other for months due to lockdown). Then last year, Michael and David were filming the second season of Good Omens in Scotland both before and after the holidays.

Michael was also doing interviews to promote Last Train to Christmas; despite that, he spent a bunch of them talking about and/or to David. (And that’s not even getting into the “Other Wife” incident with Georgia on her birthday, the day after Christmas.) We could also see the effect that spending so much time with David in the months prior had on Michael--how glowy he was, how happy and centered and just in a very positive head space overall.

So if we posit that everything about David and Wales represents “home” and “comfort” to Michael, then everything about Christmas this year was the opposite of that. Michael is in a foreign country that he’s never been to before, where the seasons are all topsy-turvy (for someone accustomed to cold/snow on Christmas, that is), and I would think that alone would lead to one feeling pretty disoriented. But he’s also playing a leading role in this huge production, and has AL and two small children (one of which is a seven month-old baby) along with him on top of all that, and that unquestionably makes everything much more stressful.

Going back to his Twitter post, I keep thinking about what you mentioned, the use of the word “Us.” We’ve seen that phrase crop up in the context of Michael and David on two recent occasions: 1) Michael talking about David’s only “bad habit” at MCM Comic Con; and 2) in Staged 3 episode 3, when David and Georgia are in the shower while Michael is in the car and David says “I was me before we were us!” My thought is that “us” isn’t something that exists just because you say “us”...it’s something that develops over time. It’s something that happens naturally because two people have become so inextricably intertwined with each other that it’s hard not to think of them as a single unit. I hadn’t even thought of what you said, which is that the “Us” in Michael’s tweet could refer to anyone, even him/David/Georgia. But the one thing I do know is that I don’t think of Michael and AL as “us.” I could see his “us” referring to the kids, but I don’t get that same sense with AL. There is him, and there is her, separately, rather than as one. It’s not hatred or dislike, but rather indifference, as you said, Anon #2. Contrast that with Michael and David, who have repeatedly talked about the connection they’ve formed and how there is no Aziraphale without Crowley and so forth. Michael and David saying “we” and “us” about each other is so unbelievable precisely because it’s not unbelievable. The emotions between them are so strong and powerful, and are reflected in the way they see themselves.

Ultimately, I think what it comes down to is that there are any number of reasons why Michael didn’t include AL in the picture he posted (such as the reasons you gave, which do seem entirely plausible to me, as I think he has purposely has kept his Twitter free from any pictures or references to her), but there is also a lot more happening than we even know. What’s been shared publicly is already weird/strange enough for folks to notice (going by the Anons I’ve gotten, at the very least), so whatever is really happening is undoubtedly far, far more complicated.

But I am with you in thinking that Michael and AL will not stay together forever. As I said before, that “us” that is so important in a relationship seems entirely absent with them, and I unfortunately don’t see that changing anytime soon. The only thing I will disagree with you on is them staying together “for the kids.” I think it is far better for parents to be not together as a couple but still effectively and cooperatively co-parenting than to be together and miserable, even if they try to hide it around the kids. What matters most is doing what is best for those kids, and even if Michael’s relationship with AL does not last, I think he will always be there for the girls.

Anon #1, there is no need to apologize for over-analyzing. I appreciate that you and Anon #2 felt comfortable enough to share your thoughts with me, and I hope my response was helpful. Thanks for writing in! x

[asknarashikari]

Sorry, I might have accidentally ventured into your mainblog while looking at some Rider tags... and have read some of your latest posts... If you want some catharsis, i'd like to refer you to search on youtube 'toodaloo" and her videos makes me wish I could also do that to my workmates.

in another note here's some, admittedly, unsolicited question

Does reporting her to HR not wield any results?

Long rant ahead

At this point I'm pretty sure HR getting involved will do nothing because this person (let's call her W) been getting away with stuff like this for as long as any of us can remember.

Not only does W get in much later than everyone else, she also takes long lunch breaks and is away from her workstation for long stretches of time, often without telling us where she's going, how long she'd be gone or even checking if she'd done everything she needs to do before she goes. It's gotten to the point that nearly all of us on the team joke about how W being present for work or not changes nothing because she never does the daily tasks that she's supposed to in a timely manner.

W's unprofessional behavior is well-known not only in our department but also in other departments (the ones we work closely with), because when they can't find her for something they need, all we can say is "sorry, we don't know where W is".

Worst of all, W does this all knowing that everyone including our bosses know. Honestly, I'm starting to believe my dad's (unfounded) theory that she has connections with someone high up in the company, because there's no other way she can get away with such brazen behavior without fear of getting fired.

One time, W not doing her daily tasks and/or passing them off to others prompted our team head to write a very pointed email reminding everyone exactly what officers like her should do by what time. I've had to shove that in W's face several times already just to get her cooperation.

Oh, and turns out, some of the stuff W passed on to us assistants, we don't actually have clearance to do.

One time I did this, our boss caught it early, and reprimanded me for it. When I explained why I did it (it was required for a document we needed to give a client), she taught me to do it properly- which ironically, was also W's job, since part of an officer's job was to train assistants to eventually become officers themselves.

And even simple stuff like telling us that she'll be on leave she can't even be bothered to do properly. Earlier today even our team head took a jab at her by announcing to us that she was on leave (again) by loudly wondering what she meant by 'not feeling well' (her excuse for not being at work). Honestly, we're not even supposed to go on leave in December since it's our busiest season, but every year I've worked as her assistant she took several weeks off, if not the whole month.

So yeah... if I have to involve HR in this, it's because I'm filing my resignation and handing in my exit paperwork. And you can bet I won't make it a secret that she's the reason I'm leaving.

[whumpy-daydreams]

An unwelcome visitor

Masterlist

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CW: death threat, guns

Paz ended up sleeping on Rowena's couch, having drunk too much to drive home. Rowena had told him everything, from her mother's disappearance to the people she'd killed, to her year of torture; the weight across her shoulders lifting a little with every truth.

They got up early the next day, both needing to go to work. Rowena carefully covered the fresh bruises on her cheek as Paz made coffee for them both.

"I'll come over tomorrow? I need to catch you up on everything you've missed." Rowena mumbled a reply and he paused on the threshold. "I'm so glad you're alive. For a time I was scared you-"

"Don't," she stopped him. "It's over. I'm alive. I don't need pity, I just need... a friend."

"I'm still gonna mother your ass."

"Aren't you going to be late? Go on, get out." Paz made a face at her and she smiled as she flipped him off.

___

Rowena was in a good mood until she got home from work. Something felt off and she had a feeling there was someone inside her flat before she saw the note pinned to her door.

Don't shoot xx

It was handwriting she knew well, scrolling cursive that made her blood boil. Regardless of the what the note said, Rowena drew a small gun from inside her jacket, and edged open the door.

Evangeline didn't bother looking up from where she was sat on the sofa.

"You read my note!" She almost sounded surprised.

"Why are you here?"

“Oh put the gun down. We both know you won't actually shoot me.”

“Wanna bet?” Rowena kicked the door closed, keeping her aim firmly locked on Evangeline.

“Okay - you probably won't shoot me.”

“Why are you here, Evangeline?”

“Ooh, full name. Must be serious then." She turned to look at her. "I'm not here to hurt you, just to deliver a message.”

“From who?”

“Who do you think?”

“Fuck.” Rowena finally lowered her gun, silently cursing the gods. Could she not have one day of peace?

“Exactly.”

“So what? I thought he wanted nothing to do with me?”

“He wants you to come back.”

“No.”

“It's not an offer.”

“After all the effort he made to get rid of me?”

"Don't be so dramatic." Evangeline rolled her eyes as she stood up, crossing her arms as she looked Rowena up and down. "You should be grateful he's even offering you a job."

"Then tell him I've got a job. Now get out." Rowena stepped aside to allow her to leave. Evangeline groaned.

"Engage brain, Ro. Marcus doesn't want you back - he needs you back." Rowena frowned. "Do I have to spell it out? You're a loose end. And loose ends get tied up one way or another."

"Is that a threat?"

"Yes."

"Then why do I have a feeling you're not going to kill me?" It was only half true, Rowena could never really tell if Evangeline was on the brink of throttling her or not, but she was willing to bluff.

"Because I'm not. Not yet, anyway. But I will kill you if I have to."

"Ouch. And here I was thinking we had a sisterly bond."

Evangeline laughed. "I'm in town for three days. Pack up some stuff and meet me on Friday, midday, at the Grand Royal Hotel."

"You're just assuming I'll come with you?"

"Even you aren't stupid enough to think Marcus is bluffing. You come back to him, or you die." The smile she gave Rowena was sickly sweet as she left.

Fuck. Fuckfuckfuck. The gun felt heavy in her hand, the cool metal now feeling about as useful as a pebble. She had just gotten her life together. Just found some semblance of peace and normality and routine and FUCK!

Rowena at least had the sense to put the safety back on the gun before chucking it on the couch and heading towards her growing collection of alcohol on the counter. She didn't flinch as she downed the remains of a bottle of vodka and threw it at the wall, glass showering down.

Grabbing another bottle of something strong she slumped on the sofa and opened her laptop. If Marcus wanted her to be a killer she would show him just how good she was.

Tag list: @i-eat-worlds

[peacehopeandrats]

Twenty Questions for Fanfic Writers

@deliriumsdelight7 tagged me and now I shall pass this on to anyone who hasn't been tagged because I don't want to put pressure on anyone.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

I've got 110, a lot of which aren't finished, but a lot of 'em are too.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

It's only 871,727.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Once Upon A Time, Stargate Atlantis, Dragonheart, and Star Trek, though currently my AO3 is mostly Once. I've never gotten around to transferring anything else there much.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Calm

Sunshine

Meeting By Moonlight (Atlantis)

Awake

Delivery

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I respond to everything because if you took the time to write to me, I should take the time to write back to you.

6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I haven't a clue on this one, but it is probably a Rumbelle fic.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I don't know this one either, but I bet it's also a Rumbelle fic.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not on AO3. Generally around competition times I will get hate messages, but that seems more like fear to me than anything else. Fear of missing out, fear of not being good enough, whatever. I don't read messages once I see that they are "hate" messages. I just delete them, so whoever it is gets to get that fear off their chest and it doesn't have a chance to tonspread much farther.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I didn't until the Monthly Rumbelling year, then I forced myself to do it. I don't enjoy doing it and I'm not good at it, so I tend to avoid it still.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Most of my Rumbelle fics have something tondo with Gargoyles because that is a Disney thing Disney forgot to include in Once and should have.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of. I'm not that good of an author. That doesn't mean it hasn't happened though.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Same as above.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yep. A bunch of us Rumbellers got together on a gift for a friend. I hope all of them include a link because Forbidden Loves and Stormy Nights was so much fun to work non.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Can't answer this. You can't pick one over another. Trip and T'Pol? Michael and Teyla as it should have been? Rumbelle? I don't know.

15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Most of them, at the rate I'm going right now... Rose Among Thorns is certainly one that won't get finished. Sadly the series where Michael.and Teyla get things FIXED instead of ruined for them probably won't get past the first episode either.

16. What are your writing strengths?

No clue. Though maybe turning prompts into something written should count here?

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Everything.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

If you speak it or know someone who does and you can trust they will be honest in checking it for you, yes. Go for it. It makes the story real.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Star Trek or Dragonheart. Not sure which technically came first.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

Dunno. Maybe Awake or Mountains, Streams, and Magical Things. Some of my individual one shots for the Choose Your Own Adventures are favorites too. And I've got a soft spot for my DragonHeart stuff too.