#i've never got this dialogue before holy shit

[lindleland]

FDSFPFDOSIJGAOJDGHD

[whirlpool-blogs]

whirlpool's personal fic recs, part 2

well, it's been a minute since the first time I did this, so here's some more great fics I've read since then.

(this is a totally fresh list! if by chance you see a repeat from part 1, it's only because there's been an update to it since then)

-> Please let me know if any of my links are messed up, or if I got a tumblr handle wrong!

rarepairs/3somes/from perspective of other characters:

Biggest Dick on Base by @impalachick (Crosby/Bucky) you guys. this one is soooo hot. oh the dialogue is sooooo good. as the author says, "It's canon that Croz and Egan are the two horniest guys in the 100th" and this fic NAILS it!

dancing cheek to cheek (to cheek) by @meyerlansky (Curt/Bucky/Buck) Curt POV and it's soooo good, equal weight is given to the Curtbucky of it all, and there's this summering electricity in the Curtgale, and the Buckbucky devotion is so real, it's a true threesome fic and author absolutely nailed it!! also start taking your chances in the same series, WHEW!

I Get A Feeling That I Never Had Before by @darkimpala1897 (Clegan+Hambone) 978 words, so it's short but sweet! Funny and original and creative, and like, of COURSE this is how Buck discovers his feelings for Bucky & Ham.

Learning Curve by @hogans-heroes Clegan through the perspective of Alex Jefferson, explores his friendships with Buck and Bucky, and his observations of them from an outside view! Really heartbreaking and sweet and touching, such a great writing style.

Pegasus by merle_p (Rosie/Bucky) Egan is an absolute horny menace and a terrible authority figure sometimes lmao, and this fic gets it! Loved the characterization in this one. And the ending is just <3

Render Me a Wreck by @almost-a-class-act (Brady/Bucky) you guysssss you GUYSSSSSSS you KNOW I love me a Brady fic and holy shit this one is IT! this one is IT!!!! absolute masterpiece that comes roaring out of the gate and never lets up. a must-read!

save yours, and take mine from me by @corrosivesaints (Brady/Bucky) another Brady fic and I loveeeeee it!!! this author absolutely nails Brady's prickly little personality and the mutual trust and attraction between him and Bucky. and not just trust to not turn each other in, trust as in knowing they need to keep each other ALIVE. which is basically love. as the author said, "guys who are not normal about each other and never will be" <3

Squared Away by @meyerlansky (Curt/Bucky) wheeee you know i love me some John whump, and luckily Curt is there to give him what he needs <3 such a vivid writing style, love it!

the vein in my neck adores you by @galetops (Harding/Bucky) hardingbucky hARDINGBUCKY AAAAAAAAAAA!!!! bro!!!!!! oh it's so delicious, power abuse is one of my fave tropes and John gets fuckeddddddd OVER in this one. gripping. devastating tbh.

Would You Mind? by @johnslittlespoon @nicijones (Ken/Bucky and then Ken/Bucky/Gale) HOT! hot! HOT!!!!!! oh god I was literally melting....... KenBucky is so big brained and the way the authors characterize them is just. so good. did I mention it's HOT??!!?!?!

Clegan+Marge:

A Big Surprise by @sweaterkittensahoy (PerpetualMotion) (Clegan+Marge) MARGE GETS THE STRAP OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! biggest yeah buddy ever!!!!!!!

A Horse is Not a Home by @fascinationstrt (Clegan+Marge) Lovely and sweet, explores their post-war trauma and all of them coming together to support each other and also like. literally coming together. hee hee!!

Barefoot and Bareback by @soliloquy-dawn aaaaabrhrfhgh it's so HOT and physical and playful and fun!!! love the little notes of dom/sub floating in and out, truly just feels like you're watching something sweet and sexy between 3 people who love each other!

clegan fics:

3am eternal by @feyd-meowtha 90s club scene AU, oooff it gets messy, deals with the consequences of John's substance abuse and Gale's avoidance and overall both of their lack of communication, and god!! it's so good

a thousand feet per second by anonymous Sub Gale, Dom Bucky and it's delicioussssss, Gale is not doing well <3

another version of me, I was in it by @majorbuckyegan (brianmaybrianmay) post-war, hurt/comfort sex after Bucky has a nightmare reliving running through the forest. love when Gale gently leads Bucky to where he needs to go!!

baby doll eyes by @ladybundle John gets smashed on stalag hooch and ohhh it's hot and sad and beautiful and full of yearning!!!

Baby I’m on Fire & Keep Me Forever by @oopsiedaisiesbaby Teacher Gale and Student John (not underage fic) and yeesh!!! both of them are a menace tbh and I lovedddd both of these!!!

Before the Dawn by @atlanticslide THE stalag fic, like when I envision them in the stalag, it always turns out that I am just remembering something from this fic!!! especially the parts where they are in separate compounds and talking through the fence!?!?! like ouch. like wow. a slowwww burn and it's so worth it!

Branded by @hogans-heroes Gale stalag whump and protective Buckyyyyyyyyyy <3 oh my heart!!!! so good!!!

crossroads by @shipstorms (ipsilateral) has a BoB tag but you don't need any BoB knowledge for this fic!! Bucky and his unrequited love for Gale and it's ouch....it's oh.... I definitely recommend for the beautiful writing!

diamond eyes by @vveissesfleisch (cunninglinguist) whewwwwww dom gale and sub john and it's awesome!! jealousy and desperation and then getting their shit together in the end <3

Extinct Animals by @feyd-meowtha Mad Max AU, but as someone who has 0% familiarity of Max Max franchise, I can assure you no background knowledge is needed. this fic is BRUTAL. this fic is CRAZY!! it's heartbreaking and feral and raw and everyone is clawing for survival and it's soooooo well-written!

futile devices by @drylite ohhhhhh this one will forever be famous in my mind, John gets sick in the stalag and Gale takes care of him but it's so much more than that, this fic is HUGE to me, the feelings and John's descent into his stalag spiral, it's all so beautifully written!!

He Calls Me Bunny by @johnslittlespoon modern AU, John wears a bunny costume to their college Halloween party and Gale fucks him about it <33333333333 HEART EYES FOR THIS FIC!

hit me where the heart is by @london-cowboy / @luckydeuce Ohhhhh my god this fic. THIS FIC!!! modern BDSM AU, John is a medevac helicopter pilot who once transported Gale from a horrible private plane crash, and then they encounter again years later -- but like. ALSO THERE'S SO MANY OTHER THINGS GOING ON AND IT'S ALL MIND-BLOWING!!! past fucked-up Harding/John and current Harding/Gale and that's just the tip of the iceberg. so good. sooooooo good.

i followed fires by @swifty-fox Wild West/spooky supernatural AU. suing for emotional damages!!!!!! genuinely cried from this fic. and not just sniffle sniffle dab at my eyes. I'm talking tears streaming down my face, can't see anymore, this fic is HOLY SHIT WOW.

I think the love I bear you should make you not to die by @amiserableseriesofevents (WonderGinia) soooooo heartwrenching, multiple timelines and so many times they get so close but then lose each other

if it feels like love (then it must be love) by @rangerelizabeth College AU and it's a goddamn masterpiece!! John is Gale's RA and Gale navigates dorm life and college life and a new relationship and it's just. such a great journey from start to end!

jump the gun by @swifty-fox Part 2 of Outlaw AU (highly recommend Part 1 as well, obviously!) and whoa. hits you right in the gut. love love loveeee how swifty weaves the parallels between show canon and this au, while also keeping it super fresh and creative and you never know what's gonna happen next! there's one particular line that absolutely BROKE me......such a good read

kinktober 2024 by anonymous Goddddd. GODDDDDDDDD. Every time I got an update email for this fic, it was like get hand-delivered a delicious slice of chocolate cake that also happened to encompass like every single dirty kink and fantasy I've ever wanted to read???? author is big-brained. author is living in the 4th dimension. READ THESE!!

kiss my cheek, and pretend we're lovers by @euph0riacc Modern Au - Iraq War, and it's soooo creative and the desert setting is so well-described and the whole ensemble is weaved into this new imagining so well!! truly so creative and so well-executed, highly recommend a read!

knuckleball by @drylite PIT STUFF!!!!!!! PIT STUFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PIT STUFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! let me tell you i was screaming pretty much through my entire reading experience of this. did i mention. pIT STUFF??????????????

let us not desert one another; we are an injured body by @irregularcollapse cannibalism fic oh my godddd oh it's sickeninggggg (positive) it's crazy (positive) it's insane (positive)!!

Looking for Eight by @weimarweekly (VoluptuousPanic) modeln rodeo AU. absolutely blows my mind, every single chapter is so perfectly written, it's vivid and it's sweet and it's truly alive!! definitely take your time to savor each paragraph...so worth it.

love means nothing (in tennis) by @irregularcollapse this was in my part 1, but it's had an updateeeeee since then, so go read it!!! gale's orthorexia and overexercising goes brrrrrr

Moecher by @inpotatoeswetrust (Razor_to_the_rosary) fantastic, very show-like dialogue, love the Curt & Bucky friendship keeping it reallll, deals with John's slippery descent into his alcohol abuse and how hard it is to pull oneself out of that path!! but also like. john jerking off to a stolen letter from Gale. dry humping. HOT!!!

never falter or fail by anonymous Post-war John is in the hospital with temporary amnesia after a flight crash, he's getting visitors from his war days, but perhaps not everyone is who they claim to be....really creative, beautiful storytelling!! i'm hooked!!!

No Proof, One Touch by @c-goldthorn sweat kink!!! pit stuff!!! oh you knowwwww I'm here for it! it's flight school and it's so sweeeeeet too i love them so much your honor

Only You Can Cool my Desire by @johnslittlespoon a one-shot in the Tough and Sweet AU (which you should totally check out!!), Gale's POV this time and oohhh overstimulated, begging, overheated John <3

Rack 'Em Up and Knock 'Em Down by @happy-days19 a whump collection, each chapter is a one-shot and super creative and varied!! love it!!

release, please (no longer on ao3) by anonymous Oh goddd I wish I knew who wrote this, if you're out there plssssss shoot me a message, I love this fic so much!!!! Gale lets John piss himself and then he lets him come and christttt. I legit have this saved on my google drive because it's just like. everything to me.

Sous Le Ciel de Paris by @rambleonwaywardson Modern Olympics AU, Gale is an equestrian and John is a gymnast, super creative and well-researched (as ALWAYS by this author!!) and also HORSIES and also JOHN INJURY! hee hee <3

Stripper, Occasionally Hooker by @donotnomi Modern AU, lawyer Gale and dancer John, this AU is everythinggggg to me!!!! corporate intrigue!! paulina and harding at the law office and ensemble at the club! I can't even put into words how sexy and hot and mindblowing stripper john is, somewhere in the realm of surface of the sun perhaps???? I LOVE THIS FIC OH MY GODDDD. I EAT IT UP. I RE-READ IT CONSTANTLY. go read it, I beg of youuuu

Wind in the Wire by @livelaughlove-write extreme gale whump in the stalag, such a great concept and love seeing the author explore it here!

windfall by @rangerelizabeth modern meet-cute, John meets Gale in a corn maze and pretends to be lost so that they can spend more time together <3 so cute!!

Wrapped Around Your Finger (You Say That I'm A Home Run) by @johnslittlespoon Gale cleans up John's face after he picks a fight, and he's a little mean about it and then they fuck about it and it's great!!!

You Don’t Ever Have to be Stronger Than You Really Are by @oopsiedaisiesbaby ABO fic yeah baby!!! except they're stuck in the stalag and they're both miserable and hungry and itching to get out and oh it hits so good!

You, Me, and the Sky by @oopsiedaisiesbaby Major Character Death, so mind the tags, heartbreaking and gripping and terrifying and beautiful and sad!

"You were doing all this to a toothpick?" by anonymous Gale's oral fixation.....yeah you know where this is going >:-)

Your Idiot by @eternallytired17 John gets hit on a mission and doesn't register it until he's literally collapsing wheeeee!!! so good!!!

[the-elder-beato]

so I've been going through umineko again for a project i'm working on and it got me thinking about how masterfully the hints and foreshadowing regarding the true culprit and the overall mystery are sprinkled throughout almost every line of dialogue. and like duh it's a mystery story so of course there's gonna be foreshadowing, but it's also hard to strike a good balance with being too obvious that it no longer becomes subtle or being so vague that the reveals feel like they came out of nowhere

looking back on so much of the dialogue even in chapters 1 and 2, so much of it had me practically screaming at myself "how did you miss this the first time through?!" but at the same time, i can totally see how certain details flew over my head given the context the story being told is presented in.

gonna post some specific examples under the cut because one of my good friends is currently reading through it and i don't want to ruin it for him. SPOILERS FOR ALL OF UMINEKO BELOW

a pretty major one that a lot of people bring up is the constant mention of sickly sweet smells coming from kinzo's study as well as the oddly poisonous looking drinks that he partakes in that are bad for his health. this is probably referring both to the odor of kinzo's corpse itself and the preservatives genji and the others are using to prevent it from becoming obvious to the others in the mansion that don't know of his death

but the other things that stuck out to me are the fact that when krauss goes up to his door to do the whole song and dance of pretending that kinzo is in too much of a bad mood to leave his study and see the family during the conferences, he often ends these scenes with a sly smile on his face before handing kinzo off to genji or nanjo, two people who are also responsible for keeping up the charade

This is from one of the earliest scenes in chapter 1 like jesus christ. even ignoring how obvious the "my dad is already dead" line is in hindsight, those coy, knowing smiles he gives are practically screaming that this guy is putting on a show for the other siblings. but on a blind viewing, you could easily wave it off as krauss just having grown tired of trying to make the effort to get his rambling father to come out for like the 3rd family conference in a row and all he can do it laugh it off bitterly

a very similar version of this charade is shown in episode 2 as well, with yet another line with a double meaning that hints to kinzo's real fate. i honestly kind of find it amusing picturing these grown men pounding on the door to their dead father's study, yelling at a volume probably loud enough to reach the rest of the family downstairs to sell the bit even more

these lines also from episode 2 though. holy shit, ryukishi is pretty much giving the answer away here. granted, you can definitely interpret this on a first pass as natsuhi and krauss devising this plan to protect kinzo/their own interests with regards to the inheritance discussion, but the sinister and ominous undertones are there.

speaking of episode 2, it is basically a whole novel's worth of hints towards shannon and kanon's true identities, which makes sense given it's their focus episode alongside episode 6. episode 1 already plants some seeds here and there regarding kanon, what with him somehow always seeming to appear to shannon out of thin air or being described as creeping up on people silently like a cat

one of the biggest hints that most people discuss is how the detective, battler, who is supposed to have an objective view on the proceedings (at least before erika takes over in 5-6) never seems to see shannon and kanon together at the same time when he is present. what keeps up the illusion is the many other scenes sprinkled throughout that take place through other character's POVs where we are shown the two interacting together, particularly with genji and kumasawa. we aren't given any indication this early on that the narration absent of battler isn't to be trusted or is hiding details from us, i don't think until knox's rules are introduced in the answer arcs, so this is a pretty brilliant way of hiding the truth of their characters but without making it feel as if the viewer was completely lied to in hindsight

the fact that jessica is saying this to kanon of all people. oh my god. it's so painful. all of the flashback scenes of shannon and george and jessica and kanon are so sad to watch. sayo is not only struggling with the fact that she's fallen in love with another man while waiting for battler to come back, not only struggling with the realization that she's bisexual when she starts having feelings for jessica, not only struggling with the constant reminders from george that he wants to have many children and grandchildren after she finds out that she will never be able to conceive...

she's now come to a crossroads where (in this world at least) she has to decide whether or not she'll give up hope of battler ever returning and pledge herself to george, while breaking jessica's heart as kanon. and battler coming back after 6 years just throws all of that out the window

this one might just be me overthinking, but i'm curious if anyone else has a similar interpretation. these two batches of dialogue occur in the same scene, the second coming after "kanon" shows up to once again vent out "shannon's" feelings of frustration and anger towards the ushiromiyas. at first it would seem that her lamentation about wanting to be rescued continues directly from the previous string of thoughts, and that she's referring to george again. but the use of quotation marks around "him" the second time around really make me think that this must refer to battler.

the fact that she considers this a sin even moreso feels like it points to battler to me, her sin being the fact that she's still thinking of him in the first place while wanting a relationship with george. she wants to pursue these new feelings with george, but in her mind it would also be weakness on her part to give up on the promise she and battler made together by forgetting about him and moving on. she wants someone on a white horse to come save her, and the thought that this person has changed to being george is tearing her up inside. she doesn't deserve rescue from either of them, in her mind. it's so fucking sad

and the final one for now, since i've only gotten through the first two episodes for this rewatch. i remember thinking back to all the deaths from the previous chapters when faced with the challenge of figuring out who the true culprit was, and just my jaw dropping to the floor when i remembered this detail from turn of the golden witch. none of the other victims of the stakes had them fall out, they were gouged in deeply, but shannon's alone had fallen off to the side.

and of course rosa (the co-conspirator of the episode) conveniently blocks her body off before battler can examine it further and give an objective detective's view of the state of the body. if he was able to, he probably would have been able to see that the hole in shannon's forehead was made by a gunshot wound and not the stake.

not to mention kanon's body just disappearing entirely. episode 2 is where we really start to get introduced to the magic realm and its explanation of events, so it's easy to get sucked into that and go along with the whole "beatrice desecrated him after death by not even allowing him the closure of being a corpse for the rest to discover" but man, it is so crazy how well the pieces fit together once you know the truth. it was simply easier at this stage of the game for sayo to shed the kanon persona entirely so she could move more freely as shannon.

at this point, she had probably given up on battler solving the riddle in this fragment/bottle after his full on mental breakdown in the servant's room following rosa's cold accusations and lack of trust in everyone else. sayo would have planned to die by the end regardless, but this final locked room trick was probably her last ditch effort to give battler a clue as to what was happening, but again this was foiled by rosa barring him from looking closer at the crime scene

anyway that was a lot of rambling about stuff people have probably already discussed to death in the years since umineko's release. but damn i just really, really marvel at ryukishi's ability to write such an intricately written story that simultaneously had me at a loss for the solution for the majority of its runtime while also making me feel like a fucking idiot for missing all of these obvious clues the first time around, in the best kind of way. this sound novel is a masterpiece and i'm so glad i discovered it

rest in peace sayo, i have no doubt the foreshadowing during my replays of banquet and alliance of the golden witch are going to tear my heart asunder once again </3

[angstflavoured]

You have any fic recommendations? Any fandom really lol. You have good takes and interpretation so I feel like you’d have some fire recs

AWH WELL THANK YOU !! I dont actually know how great the ones I read are gonna be since usually the fandoms Im in are scarce on content 💀 but ill go ahead and list a bunch of the ones I really like. I definitely spend way too much of my time reading one shots. REALLY wanna get back into longer fics, but its hard to find ones I care enough to sit down and dedicate time to these days 💔

Smiling Friends

bittersuite, charlie/pim: AND THERE WAS ONLY ONE BED !!!!! THIS FIC CHANGED MY LIFE FOREVER !!!!! It is hurt/no comfort, but its soooo good it hurts so good and also there is supposed to be more eventually so i'd get on this one first bc when the second one drops its gonna be a day in history

Dimples, charlie/pim: I just read this last night and was so pleasantly surprised ☹️ Its so damn cute and I love how it delves more into both of their characters.

Portal 2

interface, chell/wheatley: HANDS down, best portal 2 one shot out there. the way the characterize chell is fucking insane, altered my brain chemistry forever. also wheatley is so hehehheheheh

You Do It, adventure/fact: I have a very love/hate relationship with this author..... Im not the BIGGEST fan of how they characterize them, esp Fact, but its definitely the most decent factventure content out there. I so like this one quite a bit, though their ideas are definitely better in theory than completely in practice. That's how I feel abt a lot of their works, but this person unironically holds the title for like 90% of the factventure content. If you just want some quick cute smut of them, i'd say you should check out their acc, cus I get the factventure fandom is starving LMAOO

I've got the fuse if you've got the light, adventure core/reader: ....erm, very self indulgent for me hehe!!! i was so fucking excited when this dropped

Half-Life/HLVRAI

Autonomous Sweet Mesa Response, benrey/gordon: THIS FIC IS SOOO FUCKING FIREEEEE !!! OH MY GOD, I can't even count the times I've read this one. their dialogue is as good as it comes next to canon. If you like this one, this is the first in a huge series and litearlly all of them are just as good as the first. such a good sit down and binge author. They also have a shit ton of other good hlvrai stuff on their page and they make fire art

If You Asked Me To, benrey/gordon: the way they wrote the sex scene in this changed my brain forever, it was so fucking awesome.... frenrey dynamic makes me WILD

Whispers and Moans, barney/gordon: this whole author has a lot of super cute freehoun :'[ this one deals with them before the resonance cascade AND after and shows how things changed between them and its so precious grrraah

Promise, barney/gordon: again, deals with the timeskip stuff which just always makes my heart hurt... also shower sex smiles

It’s Only Natural, barney/gordon: I DIDNT REALIZE THIS FIC JUST GOT FINISHED THIS YEAR OH MY GODDDD I WAS OBSESSED WITH THIS need to reread this immediately

Team Fortress 2

He's a Rebel, sniper/spy: SUPER fucking cheesy and corny but oh my god its like one of my fav fics ever..... it's just so much fun, like stereotypical fanfic and that's always a good time to me. biker gang member/school teacher au are you fucking kidding me i'll vomit

It IS the Size That Matters, sniper/spy: erm.... BLOWJOBS!! always find myself coming back to this one sorry i really like it hehe

Secure, demo/solider: Not a lot of fics of these guys, which really sucks!! super underrated ship. I liked this one a lot tho, its pretty cute and a little emotional

Something to Rely On, sniper/spy: casual sex but really sniper is in love will forever be my favourite thing ever, it never gets old istg

The Silent Game, sniper/spy: can you tell I really like sniperspy, MORE BLOWJOBS!!!

Disco Elysium

The Collision in Cardiozone HQ, harry/kim: holy. fucking. shit. actually life changing i am not joking. so fucking heartbreaking, it left me hollowed out for like a WEEK after the ending. A longer one for sure, but SO worth it like oh my god

The Catacomb Killer, harry/kim: I don't think I ever fully finished this one, but I remember REALLY liking the whole case the fic was set around. there was so much thought put into it, it was genuinely interesting like a murder mystery show

Retour à nouveau, harry/kim: I did really like the whole plot and buildup in this one, but from what I remember, them getting together was super anticlimatic :P i recall being disappointed, but the whole actual case and their interactions during the fic are super cute

Mortal Kombat 1

the game of idiocy, johnny/kenshi: BY THE SAME AUTHOR AS BITTERSUITE!! this one is sooo fucking cute, the way they write them interacting is so much fun. a little troupey and on the cheesier side, but cmon who doesn't love that

Undertale

Flowey is Not a Good Life Coach: no ships but delves a lot into flowey and papyrus relationship and there's so much good sans development too. SUPER GENERIC, it IS one of the most liked fics, but I remember reading it back when I was a teenager and it blew my fucking mind. ghhghggh i love the way they write the brothers interacting so much

The Party Incident and Other Embarrassing Anecdotes, sans/reader: uhmm.... soo sorry, this fic will forever hold a special little place in my heart. I'm sure if I read it now it would be SO corny cus oh my god it was fucking 2016 like are you kidding, but I'm just a fucking sucker for fake dating. there like 5000000 troupes in this one and theyre all so cute and its just a fun and silly time. it subconsciously inspires so much of my writing in fics. will probably forever be unfinished before they get together though HAHAH so definitely do not read if you're looking for a solid ending. its just about the journey i swear

[dootznbootz]

https://www.tumblr.com/matchanne/749059748512612352/aww-they-broke-up-thats-sad?source=share

^the hades 2 dialogue if you want to analyze it for yourslef?

So analyzing this. I do not like how it makes it seem like "he has a hard time saying no to women" which um, Nausica?

One thing I find fascinating is that it's almost like a fucking Hamilton situation with the whole "I still love my wife, I just can't control myself" which yeah bullshit but I know a lot about cheating okay? I've seen it close up for way too much of my life and I know there are people who genuinely feel like this. it's wild as someone who's asexual lol

It also is wild to me that Penelope would hear of her husband's sexual trauma and immediately think betrayal or that he doesn't love her. I've seen a couple people do that and I think it's wildly outta character for Penelope. I think she would have to be the one to constantly be like "Odysseus, you said you were scared... That's not being willing". I think there's a lot of shit going on that shows he has PTSD around sex in general (he was hella excited to be with her again after they reunite lol)

I could see this dialogue as him trying to possibly cover up trauma?? but I doubt that's what Hades 2 is going for. that would make Penelope look bad (that's a crime in and of itself)

Honestly this is just messy. idk I'm mad.

Here's some wips of mine with his trauma shit. It is in no way smut but there are a few innuendos before a fade to black as I plan for Odysseus to often try to cover "bad memories" with good ones. (aka: "Every time I start to panic or the PTSD hits me, I'll just replace all the bad sex memories with good ones." and just clinging to Penelope. This obviously scares her as "holy shit, you were just crying and now you're kissing me.") It's kind of Not Safe for Wormlings but not so much. (I've edited it quite a bit)

“Is that all?” He murmured into her neck. His hands traced across the scales of her collarbone. Gods, he missed this. 

“Only minor things…” She scratched her nails into his hair. She smiled as he hummed. He was still the man she adored despite it all. “You’ll have to ask Telemachus what he knows as I only got a brief summary of what he told me.”

A brief summary that included the nymph, he thought bitterly, thinking about how Penelope brought up Calypso to the beggar. Telling him what their son had told her to try and get him to reveal himself, he most likely would’ve if it weren’t for Athena taking pity on him. Helping him hold his tears and panic until he was outside. He should’ve known Penelope would’ve done this though; His wicked woman knew how to break a person. He kissed her throat and felt it buzz under his lips as she giggled as his beard tickled her.

She brushed her fingers against the course, gray auburn hair on his chin. “Who would’ve known that the beard you always wanted would only come to you after two decades away from me.” 

He groaned. “Pluck it.” 

She giggled again. Music. 

(they stayed in silence. Idk this is the roughest draft)

“I’m so happy they’re well…That there’s no resentment.”

Penelope couldn’t help but scoff, pulling her head back to place some kisses on his forehead. He smiled despite his burning throat. “Of course, there’s no resentment. Menelaus adores her as she does him. He knows she would never willfully stay with those men. The gods were involved in every bit of that wretched war.” 

She paused, stopping her hand movements. “Why? Are you surprised? Is there something I should know about?” 

“No, no, I-” He swallowed. Words escaped him. “I’m just…Happy. Like I said.”

She chuckled. “Odysseus, it’s not like he did anything too incredible for loving her. He did bare minimum, understanding when gods are involved, you have no choice.” 

Odysseus’ breath hitched. Penelope stilled, concerned. “Odysseus-”

I’ve ruined this nest we made. “Nothing.” He squeezed her tighter. 

She thought for a moment. “Odysseus, I know the gods and fate are the only reason you were away from me. That you tried to come home as fast as you could… I don’t blame you.” 

He nodded. He tried to steady his breathing. 

He pushed himself off her, kneeling with his legs in between her own and pulling her to him. He began kissing down the column of her neck. Nuzzling where a grouping of scales was before continuing his path, hands never leaving her body. 

“Odysseus, I-” She jumped as his teeth gently scraped at her rib. “You know it’s supposed to be your turn to tell your stories.”

HEre's one that's supposed to be a later date. Idk. unfinished but you know.wwwwwww...

Point is, I think it's extremely out of character for Penelope to think he didn't "try hard enough" or whatever. She loves him. She knows him. They share a mind for fuck's sake. In mine, she technically is less mortal than he is as she's 75% Naiad in my works.

[lividria]

Funny Story: The Thousand-Year Door (Part 2)

Yea, remember the time I made a post about how everyone associates me with this game's Vivian because that's also my name, I'm also trans and my OC persona character looks similar? I have now beaten TTYD and I already wasn't opposed because I liked the character but I used Vivian for literally as much time as possible once I got her so uh

Here's some of the highlights of my playthrough, spoilers obviously

In the chapter 8 Shadow Sirens rematch (I know they're the Three Shadows now but I'm used to the old name, fight me), I had Goombella out to get tattles, tried to switch over to Vivian, and the FUCKING GAME CRASHED? Which I interpreted as Beldam getting so pissed it broke the space-time continuum, thankfully I saved right before and Vivian later dealt the final blow to Beldam to win the fight when I tried again

Shadow Queen kicked my FUCKING ASS HOLY SHIT, it took me 3 tries, I feel like if I were to rematch Prince Mush they would be so much easier than SQ it wouldn't even be funny AND THEY'RE A SUPERBOSS, I WIPED THE FLOOR WITH JUST ABOUT EVERY PRE-CHAPTER 8 BOSS BUT THEN THE FINAL BOSS WRECKED MY ASS LIKE SHE WAS TACO BELL

One of my friends hyped up Bonetail as being even harder when I immediately went to do the Pit after the credits, I JUST beat them without using any items (Though I did eat a couple in the earlier levels of the Pit) and it was so much less intense than what I expected, especially because I got really lucky with bingos and Pretty Lucky (badge) so I was never in any danger

Yes I know about Whacka, yes I know what I have to do to fight them, yes I'm gonna try them, but that's for tomorrow

I was actually trying to get 100% tattles this playthrough but only realized far too late I didn't get the tattles for the scripted Shwwonk Fortress encounters (Not the Golden Fuzzy, though, I got them & their Fuzzy horde) and I don't know if those guys respawn or are anywhere else so uh fucking whoops

I laughed my ass off when the Atomic Boo had it's own battle theme, that was the most unnecessary thing ever

Chapter 3 made me absolutely lose my shit because all I did was do all the Trouble Center side quests before that and I was somehow hilariously overpowered (I actually got a Power Plus from was their name Dazzle or Sparkle? So that's probably why) I destroyed everything and everyone, I knew about the poisoned cake but I didn't know leaving it killed that poor Koopa, I was completely floored by Bowser not having his boss theme (It's used in the Chapter 8 fight don't worry), and laughed for like a half hour straight at Grubba actually just dying at the end of the chapter after confessing to murder, can you actually find him anywhere after that because I never saw him ever again and Jolene said he was out of the picture so I choose to interpret that as Mario just straight up killing the guy

I fucking hate Rawk Hawk, I rematched him a couple times, all of them unintentionally besides for one time I was like 2 points off a level up, he goes down so fast it's so cathartic, I got an e-mail at some point from him that looked like he was saying he's a better fighter now, I'm gonna go beat his ass right now to prove he ain't

I somehow got Vivian into that bucket in the hidden part of Rogueport Harbor, she teleported out before I could screenshot it, I open Tumblr and first thing I see is that one post that's art of bucket Vivian, reality is taunting me I swear

For the several years on Discord I've always made it a thing to exaggerate some personality traits whenever it'd lead to funny jokes, so I have this entire gag persona I'll put on sometimes where I'll act like a narcissistic asshole out of nowhere (which is pretty easy because I'm incredibly easy to anger and thus act like a jerk more than I should), and it's some of the same people I do that with that compare me to TTYD Vivian sometimes, so imagine my reaction when I see the dialogue implying Vivian has a crush on Mario when I always switch out the player character with myself in my head, Vivian has a crush on essentially herself

I never used Zess T. once throughout my entire playthrough so imagine my horror when I check the requirements for 100%ing the game and seeing the recipes are there in the Journal menu, yea fuck no lol, I don't even know if I'll get all the Star Pieces & Shine Sprites but I am definitely not catching up

So uh yeah really good game

[waspgrave]

Getting my thoughts out now so join me if you’d like.

I loved the game. So much. It’s maybe a 8.5/10 for me. Combat was fun. Pacing was fun. The story was great. Maybe it’s where I am right now but something about the companions, Rook’s struggle, Solas, and the messages behind regret and finding strength really hit me. It’s not a perfect game – I’ll critique it plenty in a minute – but it was perfect for what I needed from a Dragon Age game.

VERY long, but I just need to get it out of my head.

I loved Rook so much. I didn't think I'd get attached to mine, but holy shit she's such a punchy little bastard trying her best. In a lot of ways, Rook really reminds me of younger Solas which I love. I'm not sure what people are talking about with dialogue being cringe because they talk about how I'd expect when you pick the purple option. The only thing they lack is Hawke's unhinged comedic timing, but that's a Hawke specialty. Rook comes across as a snide, smug little shit half the time you pick them or the aggressive options.

LOVED the main story. The cinematics, the dread, the woes - all of it was so good. It would be painful to take a break from it sometimes because I wanted to do side missions. I think this game is definitely best if you've played most, if not all, the games. So because of that, I think it struggles in some areas as it tries to usher along new players that probably won't or haven't touched a dragon age game since 2014. But for me, a fan since origins was a demo on my computer, I loved it. It brought in the atmosphere and the humor I've always loved in Dragon Age, but also the emotional moments that'll stick with me forever.

I love the companions. I was pretty neutral about most of them before going in, but they’re all amazing. I get occasionally dismayed seeing people complain about them but am trying to remember that they aren’t familiar with them yet because, once again, it’s been 10 years of loving the other games and their characters. I still vividly recall a time where people also said they weren’t fans of the DA2 companions (too mean and shallow) or that the Inquisition ones all felt extremely flat and didn’t grow with one another. But these guys are so good. I’m so fond of them all and watching them develop relationships with each other and Rook was so fun. I was crying by the time I reached the ending as though I was genuinely going to miss them.

I have some critique about the companions, though. Mostly their story culminations felt a little bit rushed in some spots. I was actually baffled when Neve’s was done or that she didn't really talk about it like, at all. Her romance, to me, felt ?? simple ? Like maybe I just didn't have the whole story, but the whole story never actually happened. Hearing my wife's experience with Emmrich's romance sounds like this might've just been a Neve problem. or maybe it was a me problem!

And this is an overall game but companion-related critique, but somehow despite all the content with the companions, I rarely felt like my Rook got a chance to breathe as their own character with a history to share and bond with them over. Sure I found Rook really easy to roleplay and become invested in, but in prior games we could flesh out our protagonists a little bit through their friendships and allies. We get to choose factions but never met any of these characters, never get to explore our backstory, and no one even says our surname. I know the latter is a little detail but sometimes those little details are what matter most.

I also love the Treviso vs Minrathous choice but I actually really dislike what happens with Neve and Lucanis depending on your choice. I’m all for my choices mattering and consequences effecting the game and honestly, I get what they were trying to do. What happens with them just didn’t really land for me. Being half-locked out of any content with Lucanis all because my Shadow Dragon Rook wanted to save her city felt really bad once I realized what was happening. I don’t even mind that I couldn’t romance him, though I do think it was a missed opportunity for hurt/comfort/building trust with him after a choice I made clearly devastated him. Even though we had a high bond, I barely saw the guy aside from a few very short cutscenes or him interacting with Harding or in the main quest. I hear Neve is somewhat similar if you choose Treviso but I’ll find that out on my second playthrough.

I loved getting to see so many new places and pick up new info from them. Nevarra's always been one of my fav places and I love it's lore. I love Rivain as well.

People in fandom keep saying there were no heavy lore reveal moments but I think what they’re missing is the fact that most of what got revealed has been theorized for a decade. Idk about others, but those theories have stuck in my brain for so long that it almost became obvious to me how things would play out. So when they did play out exactly as theorized, I was like ‘oh yeah, obviously’ sometimes before it clicked that these would be insane revelations to more casual fans or people not involved in fandom. And even then, there were so many moments for me that made my jaw drop. The reveal about the griffons, for example, was insane to me.

And while I think some are blowing it a little out of proportion, some of the retcons or oversights are kind of lame. We’d see these dark moments all over the place (the first village, Hossberg, Titan reveal, Solas’s memories, literally everything Ghilan’nain and Elgar’nan do, Weisshaupt, the Venatori in Arlathan, THE ENTIRETY OF ACT 3) but then the Crows suddenly are freedom fighters, and somehow my elf in Tevinter seems to be able to walk around like she was a human with no mention of what elves go through there. I also know 10 years had passed so the Veil Jumpers were pretty used to the news of the gods but man, I would’ve loved to see a little bit more there.

My ideal version of the game would’ve had the Inquisitor involved a lot more. I also wish there was some form of the Dragon Age Keep around even if it was just narrowing it down to the biggest main choices of each game. I had so many moments wondering what happened to my Grey Warden, wishing Morrigan would talk about him and their son. I genuinely thought we’d see mention of the Architect or another one of the original Magisters. Never hearing about Hawke from Isabela or even seeing someone like Merrill or Fenris who would’ve been perfect in the Veil Jumpers and Shadow Dragons was such a bummer. Having so much of the South just mentioned in letters from the Inquisitor just made me wish we could have had two protagonists to see it play out, but I get why they couldn’t.

Elgar'nan and Ghilan'nain were awesome. I think some of the minor villains had a lot of potential but then just kinda…. disappear. The Butcher’s a big example for me because in my playthrough (Treviso blighted) he was ominous, had a really cool and creepy cutscene, and then he just dies and it’s like…oh…???? That’s it?? While I liked Ivenci as a villain, that also felt so easily solved. I thought we’d have a little more time considering what scary pain in the ass this guy has been in Treviso.

Anyways the ending was amazing and I never feel like I get to say that about games. Yes I’m going to write fix-it fic, but oh god the emotions I went through for 4 straight hours were beyond what I expected and I’m so happy I got to experience it.

HEAVY spoilers for the ending, but I want to talk about my experience because I had so much fun despite what you’re about to read.

I remember a moment earlier in the game when things were bad but not bad bad. Solas warns Rook that she’ll need to accept that her companions will likely be killed or die for them. I nodded along as one does because ok, sure, it’s a Bioware game. I’ll do their stories and build their trust and confidence like one does in harrowing plots such as these and we’re all gonna come out of this ok.

Then Act 3 happens and you have to choose whether or not Davrin and Assan or Harding will lead a second party to find Ghilan’nain. I chose Harding to lead because she was a good scout and if anyone could do it, it was her. But this is where I felt a sense of dread that something was going to happen to her or Davrin. I thought surely because I got her loyalty, she’ll be safe. Then she says ‘Whatever it takes’ to my Rook as an assurance – something my Rook had started saying after a Solas cutscene where he gets it into her head that she needs to be willing to do whatever it takes to win. Uh oh. I’m here thinking ‘They’re not going to kill her, she’s Harding! She and Davrin have been through so much and I have their loyalty so surely, they’ll be safe!’ Then Bellara gets snatched through a mirror and it starts hitting me that ‘oh, they might actually fucking kill Harding’. And guess what :’)

The animation in this game is so amazing, so subtle sometimes, that it was seeing the look of frustration and horror on Lucanis’ face when she gets hurt that sent me over the edge with a horrible realization that my Rook’s closest friend just died exactly like it had been predicted. I felt as naïve as Rook because I distinctly remember having that confidence that I could save them all, but somehow hadn’t expected Harding to die. I’ve never cried so hard during a video game. Seeing ‘fallen hero’ on Harding’s companion screen and then scrolling over to Bellara’s and seeing the same devastated me. These two had genuinely felt like they were my Rook’s best friends and seeing her and everyone else’s reactions to what happened just added fuel to the fire. What happened next with Solas just kept the story and me spiraling because even though I knew he was going to betray me at some point, to do it right then was such a gut punch. Seeing Harding and Bellara’s statues next, then the Varric reveal and what was his goodbye to not just Rook but us. I’m a mess lmao.

Not gonna lie, I thought Bellara was going to get turned into a broodmother I'd have to fight. I'm so happy it didn't happen, but with the vibes act 3 was putting out and going against a pissed off elgar'nan wielding the blight, i was SO SCARED about what I'd find. But man she was making me cry as she defiantly told him he wasn't her god and saved Solas. Baby. I've been a Bellara stan since we got a peek at her the first time and i'm so proud of her.

I'm proud of harding :(

Solas won my heart back, too, after that brief moment I felt soooo angry at him. I was initially nervous when playing this game that they might fuck up his character especially now that he has no reason to hide his real personality, but they absolutely killed it with his portrayal as a trickster. Never have I loved a character so much that I want the best for them while also simultaneously wanting to wring their neck that it just circles back into me loving them. Every lie, every trick, every moment of reflection he experienced through the game was so good. Every reveal about him made my heart break. I didn’t want him to succeed but I did want him to be happy, which seemed like an impossible outcome.

Exploring the game was so worth it. When Mythal was willing to take the blame for this poor spirit that became so twisted from his original purpose all because he loved her, unbound him from her service and he crumbled, all my tears came back. I’m so happy he managed to stray from his path of solitude and regret. I’m so happy my Lavellan comforted him and decided they would leave this world together. At first I dreaded the idea that they might be locked away in the Fade in that miserable prison, but then I saw that ending slide and how bright and happy it was with them embracing. That he wore his Inquisition clothes and was Solas as he always wanted to be with her. Ugh. Perfection.

Again, it’s not a perfect game but it was exactly what I wanted.

[cute-little-crow]

Holy shit I've just read your "is it in yet" and YOU DID SO. GOOD. SO. DELICIOUS. fANTASTICAL!! I also saw your recent posts about struggling getting it out but I assure you it's MORE than good!!! It's better than I could convey with words!!! To the point I needed to scream this out the moment I finished reading!! Which- by the way, took me some time because my cheeks were flushed at the end of every single one of it I needed breaks to compose myself in between! Again, SO GOOD. MORE THAN GOOD.

Thank you for the overwhelming amount of dom side of the LIs and huge shot of brat taming... A part of me died inside and immediately resurrected in 200% power from how good it is. Please excuse me because this might be a lengthy and feral fangirl I am sorry in advance

I am not even a Rafayel girlie BUT MY BRAIN STUTTERED SO HARD JUST BY READING THE FIRST DIALOGUE. BY THE TIME HE SEETHED THAT BREATHY "Brat..." I AM JUST??? DEAD. BRAIN SHORT CIRCUITED. PLEASE TURN ME INTO BRAINLESS LITTLE F- Cough cough. I am so so so incredibly beyond happy to see harsh dom Rafayel portrayed! Totally melting in this darker side of him which I totally craved since reading his omnipotent perception...🫠🫠🫠AND you totally nailed it! Got me feral the fact you still add on the cute little nickname despite his seemingly harsh and mean exterior but he's still a softie just for us and it makes me feel so much things... Bless...

Now Sylus. As my obsession that hasn't seemed to calm down even after 2 whole months with his existence I am down so bad for this man I can't even. THE ABSOLUTE DOMINATION THIS GUY HAS!!! THE CALM DEMEANOR!!! WONDERFUL!! SO DAMN WONDERFUL! The fact he was mid-marking us already gets me sobbing from the getgo. Yes please, more please. The chastise and condescending in his voice?? I can totally imagine it all the while he's ruining us. The description was so so so hot you wrote it amazingly. Love me delivering lord with overstimulation and creampies yes yes yes yes 🫠🫠🫠 I've said it but I'm saying it again but your description were phenomenal I somehow really liked the part mentioning us being wrung dry like a used towel because the objectification is *chef kiss*. The wolfish grin was the end of me I went absolutely feral when I read that part oh what a wonderful thing to be devoured and put into place by the big bad wolf himself 🥰🥰

AND DEAR GOODNESS THE FREAK SWITCH XAVIER HAS. As my initial favorite before Sylus came crashing in I am so not normal for him. One moment he looked as innocent as a little bunny and another he's devouring you like a beast- while still fucking you like a bunny in heat. Girl dinner. PLEASE?? THE FACT OUR HANDS WERE PINNED USELESSLY BELOW US?? THAT'S SO HOT YOU'RE A GENIUS. The teasing touches on our spine the bunching up of our hair into the best hairtie ever for a ponytail the whispers in our ear BARK BARK BARK. The seemingly degrading way he spoke of himself initially for 'not' delivering!! The gentle guides despite not so gentle treatment!! The subtle encouragement and praise!! The absolute feralness and yet the fact he still hold back to make it fully enjoyable for us and to never hurt us for real! *Sighs dreamily* Xavier the man you are. And the writer YOU are!

Last but definitely not least, Zayne.... ZAYNE. Dear gosh my heart skips a beat when you wrote about him opening his eyes. The immediate roleplay of a responsible and totally competent doctor got me alsjalksdkdnd. How composed and totally knowing he is that we're fully bullshitting our bratty way, one he dealt numerous times already in the past present and future... How confident he is of himself and his knowledge of us!! Intelligence is always hot. THE TEMPERATURE PLAAAAY THE MAGIC TOUCH YOU ARE DR. ZAYNE. The diagnosis killed me, brattitude is such an amazing word I love it so much I want this disease and be cured over and over by him. AND THE LAST DIALOGUE??? I DON'T KNOW WHAT ABOUT THAT, probably from how absolute of an order and how authoritative it is that made my brain shut down completely upon reading it. I am on my knees.

I hope you'll soon recover from your emotional crash and I wish you well! I hope you'll have a great day today, if not tomorrow, or the days after and so on. Thank you so much for the wonderful writing you have blessed us upon on the internet!

I read this last night and very nearly burst into tears 😭😭 I’ve read it over so many times… thank you for writing this, anon. I am genuinely so grateful to read feedback and you went all out with yours.

I want everyone to have a good time with my fics and that I gave you this kind of reaction makes me so damn proud.

I love you I love you I love you 💗💗

[mollyjeanne615]

Could you please write a song adapting Ted and Charlotte’s conversation/flirting/argument in The Guy Who Didn’t Like Musicals before he leaves her alone with Sam?

Like… there’s the genuine love between them; their respective issues, fears and unhealthy beliefs getting in the way of it; their regret that they can’t just be happy together while also not taking action to make that happen; the stress of being stuck in an alien zombie apocalypse; Charlotte’s grief over and Ted’s resentment of Sam; and their difficulty actually communicating all the previous things. And of course, the sexual tension. I just think that all of those layers interplaying would make a really good song. Especially since their dynamic wasn’t explored much in the show.

There could even be a coda where Ted, after leaving, muses that he could have done better, but he’s been very careful to never give her reason to expect better from him, so she’ll get over it. They’ll be back to their version of normal soon enough (messy as it is). So he doesn’t need to go back in there and apologize or say some heartfelt shit or anything. Then the final notes are the first ones of “You Tied up My Heart”.

I say this every time but holy SHIT this was fun

So I tried to get as much of this prompt into one song as I could - it doesn't cover the entire scene, so there would be a little bit of dialogue between this and "You Tied Up My Heart," but I think it captures a lot of their relationship and connection. There could also totally be some underscoring from this going into the next song in a full production. (Also this wouldn't be in a full production cause they wouldn't be singing, but I dream.) I also cheated a bit with the orchestrations - I've been trying to make them as playable by the original bands of the shows as possible, but for this I switched out the bass part for a second guitar cause why not. There's a little bit of "Time Bastard" in the opening synth part, and there's a pretty big motif/reprise/stolen chord progression in the bridge of the song - I was trying to think of other Hatchetfield songs relating to Spankoffski stories and sexual temptation and all that, and I think this one did the trick lol. I'm super proud of the demo for this one - it came out somewhere between "Dead Girl Walking" from Heathers and "D.O.A." from The Lightning Thief, and I'm really in love with it. Hope y'all enjoy!

In the Worst Way

CHARLOTTE: Ted!  I can’t believe you’re thinking about that at a time like this, the whole world could be coming to an end!

TED: Yeah.  Exactly.  The whole world’s gone to shit and you’re worried about what someone else might think about you?

CHARLOTTE: Well, when you put it like that…

TED:

You think you’re such a good, good girl You pick your nails, you hide your stress But it’s the end of the fucking world So you can afford to decompress

You put your image on a throne You crumple underneath the crown But you need to grow a backbone Before it breaks you down

You’ve been in bed with a scumbag But baby, can’t you see You have a chance to upgrade To a sleazeball like me

So if I’m dying tonight I’ve got a great way to cap off my life I’ll be going out doing the thing I love Screwing around with another man’s wife Maybe there’s better things I should worry about today But I’d rather be here with you So let me say I want you in the worst way

CHARLOTTE: Oh, you’re such a horny bastard.

TED: Always have been, always will be.

CHARLOTTE:

My body’s telling me to run My mind is saying you’re no good But I need something just for fun So I guess I probably should

I’ve wished upon so many stars To be more confident and crude So I’ll embrace the love that’s ours With a badass attitude

TED: Okay!

CHARLOTTE:

There’s something in my gut that says You might still be alright Cause I need someone to love me Before we bite the dust tonight

So if I’m dying today I’m gonna let you lead me astray I might be meeting my maker pretty soon So I’ll get down on my knees and pray Maybe there’s better things I should worry about today But I’d rather be here with you So let me say I want you in the worst way

TED:

Ooh, I want you in the worst way, yeah

TED AND CHARLOTTE:

My happiness is coming first, I won’t be on my own Let all those without sin cast the first stones I’ll do all I can so you’ll never be alone At least until we kick the bucket

CHARLOTTE:

But should I just stick with the devil I know

TED AND CHARLOTTE:

Well, you know what, fuck it!

They make out passionately as a rocking electric guitar solo backs them up.

TED AND CHARLOTTE:

So if I’m dying right now I’ll spend this moment breaking a vow There’s nowhere else I need to be And I needed a little break anyhow Maybe there’s better things I should worry about today But I’d rather be here with you So let me say Yeah, let me say I want you in the worst way

TED:

Let’s let the chips fall where they may

TED AND CHARLOTTE:

I want you in the worst way

CHARLOTTE:

My husband’s brains fell out today

TED AND CHARLOTTE:

I want you in the worst way Maybe there’s better things I should worry about today But I’d rather be here with you So let me say I want you in the worst way

They kiss again on the button of the song.

[solarballs-confessions]

hi mod, idk if a rant ask counts as a confessions ask? jshsjs but i've got no one to rant to abt solarballs so wee, this ask shall bear the weight of it lol

prefacing this now: i've primarily only interacted with the gacha side of the fandom till now,only even recently started reading the fics lmao

even before i actually knew shit about sb, it was always kinda on my radar whenever id search for gcrv's to watch? i never touched it tho? but i was on a binging spree of epic the musical vids, so yeah i clicked on this fun lookin gacha vid abt the song 'god games'

.

yeah no that's where this shit started. i literally finished watching that video and dived right into the gcrv's and holy sHII, there's so fucking ✨many✨, and their all like 20+ mins long and the designs are so good??? the dialogue and plot is literally so fucking cool too. tbh i kinda made a lil mistake by starting off with the 'mythological solarballs au' react vids, since i was hella overwhelmed by everything LMAO

but that led to me finding out about broken au, then fast forward to permanent hatred au, second collision au and all that jazz. holy shit, the whole 'earth fucking dies then saturn and jupiter just go red eye whatever and go absolutely batshit', yeah no that shit grabbed me by the throat lol

didn't take me long to get emotionally invested to jupiturn, a surprise to absolutely no one 🧍‍♂️

but ugh i literally love this fandom and all the fanworks so damn much, like literally every single interpretation is just so chef's kiss to me LOL Jupiter's such a fun little character to tear apart and analyse though tbh every single one of these idiots are jshsjsh

also a very unfortunate side-effect, since like the past few days, neptune has just solidified his spot as my absolute fucking favourite even though i haven't watched the actual show yet (it's escaped for now lol, i wanna sit thru it properly tho hshjs) but yk how GHE is a hella famous thing in the fandom?

yeah no i can't touch any of it /lighthearted

the emotional devastation it brings to me, merely whenever i see like a neptune&iris thing in gcrv's and neptune's hurt or like- idk how to phrase it lol, but basically #neptune is not having a fun time, it legit hurts me 🧍‍♂️

not sure if it's cause broken au desensitized me, but earth angst doesn't really hurt me as much, tho i have only been in the fandom for like 2 weeks so idk much yet lol

UGHH I LOVE THIS FANDOM SMM, EVERYONE'S SO FUCKING CREATIVE AND EVERY SINGLE FANWORK IS ALWAYS SUCH A FUCKING TREAT GRAHHHH

(perks of also being a multishipper with no emotional attachments yet LMAO, all food is good food 👍)

.

[comicbookhyperfixationtime]

Uncanny X-men #196- What Was That?!!

CW: racial slurs

Last Issue Recap: The Power Pack made a cameo and Wolverine did not disembowel a child. Callisto in the Morlocks did show up and they are as skrungly and terrible as ever. And then there was Secret Wars 2 which I have mentally blocked out of my brain because it's too pointless and annoying to take up important Nightcrawler Obsessing Space.

Anyway, HOLY HELL, how did this cover make it to print?! Its literally a woman in a gimp suit! Have I talked about Rachel's Mutant Hunter gimpsuit before? I feel like I have, but I would once again like to say, what the actual fuck.

It's Chris Claremont so I expect to be using this a lot in the near future. Also, in this cover there are spikes around her crotch that form a thong/triangle shape (super umcomfy 😬) which (spoilers) are not there when she wears the suit in-issue. Which just makes this worse.

Gimpsuit aside I don't like this cover. The composition is meh, and its the same sort of misdirection we saw in the last issue. Is Rachel going to beat the shit out of the X-men and get stabbed by Wolverine? Of course she's not. The splash panel on the first page is pretty striking though.

The title is uncreative, but I do adore when writers try to work their issue title into the first page's dialogue or onomatopoeia or something (Thor #366 is my absolute favorite example of this). This is a fantastic first page, not only does it immediately set up tension, mystery and stakes while quickly delivering exposition, but it cleverly uses the in-universe curtain behind Professor X as a tool for adding motion and energy, whilst directing the reader's eye around the page.

I half forgot that Professor X is actually a professor and that he didn't just make that title up to sound cool. Hell, since he has a PhD it should actually be Dr X but that sounds a little too much like a porn knockoff of Dr Strange for my and Marvel's liking. Jesus Christ I bet he's the sort of proff who never ever grades essays in time because he's too busy fucking off fighting Godlike entities in space. I'd give him a 2 on Rate My Professor so fast.

Several students in this packed classroom are smoking. Oh 1985, how the times have changed!

As his students leave, Professor X laments that he cannot simply read their minds and figure out who's thought this was. Not because this would be highly unethical, but because his mind and body has been weakened ever since he got the shit kicked out of him by anti-mutant muggers a few issues back.

Meanwhile, Storm is home in Africa on her self discovery tour, where she is- shot in the head and left for dead by the racist poachers she'd fought before?!

I know logically this is just a fakeout but I'll be damned if it isn't some good tension! Also; the racist poachers are a brother-sister pair named Andreas and Andrea. Their parents must have hated them even more than I do.

We immediately cut to Kitty talking about Ororo's letters at a team meeting just to hammer the stake further into my goddamn heart. The Gang has gathered in a deli to discuss Professor X's mystery, including Magneto (whose presence goes undiscussed, probably because it was explained in Secret Wars 2) and some blonde lady named Aleytys who I have no idea who she is. (Edit: I know who she is- Lee Forrester, Scott Summers ex-girlfriend who apparently hooked up with Magneto in New Mutants. What an absolute power move.) Something I haven't mentioned yet because it hasn't come up is that Chuck has been hiding his growing frailty and power loss from his friends and teammates for some reason I've forgotten but which is probably stupid. Also he can walk at this point in continuity but that's not important.

Rachel sees the Beyonder shows up for his editor mandated plot interruption for a few pages and I'm not going to discuss it because I Don't Care.

My thoughts exactly Kitty.

Speaking of the best boy, he is off at his parish, talking to the priest about his crisis of faith.

I cannot imagine what it must be like to go into confessional with a superhero he has heard some shit someone redraw this man in that one stock photo of the priest.

The monster Kurt is talking about his the Beyonder because goddamnit I guess I can't just ignore that motherfucker. TLDR, he was the ultra-powerful being who started the excuse plot for the original Secret Wars. In Secret Wars 2 he comes to Earth to learn the meaning of life or some bullshit and wanders around causing problems before turning himself into a baby (probably, idk I never finished it, Jim Shooter did that before so he'd probably do it again.) Kurt's faith has been completely destroyed by the Beyonder's sheer power which is like no being he's ever seen before- oh please.

This whole scene sort of pisses me off. First off, its more wanking off about the Beyonder and I really don't want to hear about this guy. Second, its another reason to leave Kurt out of this weeks plot and that pisses me off, give my boy more screentime! Third, this really doesn't feel justified by the Beyonder. Nightcrawler saw Dr Doom hand him his ass in Secret Wars, he knows he's not omnipotent. Nightcrawler having a breakdown is fine but there's way more interesting stuff for him to break down over.

Back on the main plot, a group of shadowy figures sneak into Professor X's office and plant a bomb under his desk! I see someone has been reading Hitchcock's quotes on suspense.

Rogue and Rachel are flying over Columbia U having a dramatic irony-laden conversation about how much less nasty this current timeline is than Rachel's home time whilst she mind-scans for the culprits. They don't find them, but they do find a mugging in progress and stop it.

I'll tell you what else is a crime, that hairdo! Yeesh.

It turns out the civilian they saved is a anti-mutant jackass who was grafitti-ing the words "Muties die!" when he got jumped, because Marvel civilians are assholes. Kitty and Wolvie take a quick break from crimefighting and have an conversation that's too cute for me not to share.

Kitty phases into a building because she sees a light on in a lab after hours. She finds some of her student acquaintances skulking about and, despite having doubts that any of them could be murderers, is immediately suspicious. I personally think the fact they ordered pizza with anchovies on it would be enough to peg them as supervillains on the spot, but Kitty is more of an optimist than me. The terrorists realize Kitty is a mutant and confront her about it.

Kitty Pryde just said the N-word. This isn't ok. I don't know how the editors at Marvel ever thought it was ok, and it speaks volumes that they did. "Mutie" isn't a real swear. "N-----" is. That word is hateful and terrible and affects real people and it is not ok at all to equate it to a made-up slur. The X-men are supposed to be an allegory for suffering that empowers minority groups. This just hurts them more. Hell no to all of this.

I took a hot minute to absorb what I just fucking read and then moved on with the issue. The terrorist kids get the jump on Kitty and chloroform her before she can phase out, with intent to kill her. Meanwhile, Magneto, Professor X and Rachel Summers are in the Prof's office, discussing the case and the Beyonder's continued presence because he's been stalking them like a weirdo. Rachel tries to psychically link the three so they can sense the Beyonder like she can, but using her psi-powers sets off the bomb, which is actually not a bomb but a "psi-scream," a device that amplifies and reflects psychic energy back to its source. This is a massive plot-hole; how did they know Xavier was psychic?! As far as I'm aware its not common knowledge Professor X is a mutant at all, let alone what his powers are! And these are just normal Columbia U college students with no connection to any supervillains or secret organizations whatsoever, there's no way they'd have access to this info!

The bomb overloads Rachel and she accidentally destroys the office, sending out a shockwave of energy that sends Professor X and Maggie flying. Rogue has to catch them both which I find sort of curious because its always so inconsistent whether Magneto can fly or not (my personal headcanon is that his costume has metal soles and he levitates them). Rachel senses Kitty's distress through their psychic link and freaks out so bad she manifests her BDSM Mutant Hunter costume. She flies over to the lab, explodes the anti-mutant students and rescues Kitty in a very hetero way.

Cannot imagine what goes on in Kitty Pryde's head. Must a beautiful and terrifying place to visit.

The guy in the pink jacket from before regains consciousness and tries to shoot Rachel, but its a bit like trying to stab a rhinoceros with a butter knife. She's about to kill him, when Magneto shows up to stop her from making the same mistakes he has.

I don't know bout you but if Magneto in a suit told me to do anything I'd drop whatever I was doing immediately. I love reformed Magneto, such a richer and more interesting character than racist whiny asshole villain Magneto. I sure hope Marvel lets him continue to grow as a person and don't constantly regress his character for the stake of a stupid status quo! Haha. I hate the Endless Wheel of Comic Book Samsara.

The conversation between Magneto and Rachel is honestly really beautiful. Two people who've never interacted before, but understand each other's pain better than anyone else can. Its a fantastic scene only slightly marred by the final panels being of the Beyonder observing the scene and giving some pointless, longwinded commentary. Its too long for me to screenshot and post here so I super recommend you check this out for yourself!

On the plus side, next issue is Dr Doom!

Final Thoughts: This issue had some really high highs and some really low lows. I'm honestly super shocked the panel of Kitty Pryde saying the N-word isn't more infamous than it is, because holy fuck that was awful.

[gaiaseyes451]

Tagged by my fellow angst-lover @hakunahistata! Thanks for the tag, this was fun!

How many works do you have on ao3?

11!

What's your total ao3 word count?

247,209... Okay, okay but ~119,000 of that is collaborative work so really that's just 127,671 words that are only mine... (holy shit. Seriously??)

What fandoms do you write for?

Good Omens!

Top five fics by kudos:

Of Kings and Kids - A Good Omens Christmas Story: Self explanatory! :D

A Little Life : AKA the dementia fic that I wrote for Good Omens Song & Poetry Exchange. Human AU

Return to Eden - Aziraphale and Crowley return to where it all began in an attempt to help Aziraphale remember the real beginning.

Ostinato - Written for the Sex Pollen Event. Crowley performs an ancient ritual steeped in music to force Aziraphale to return from Heaven.

Fractured - Aziraphale grapples with the immediate aftermath of the War in Heaven.

Do you respond to comments?

YES! But sometimes it takes me a little while.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

....*cackles* Personally, I think my angstiest ending is Choice.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Happy endings? What're those? Nah, I think my Christmas fic, A Carol Conversation has the happiest ending. It's the closest thing to fluff I've ever written, it's basically a Hallmark movie.

Do you get hate on fics?

I haven't yet!

Do you write smut?

I try to Yes, I do, but it's something I'd like to get better at.

Craziest crossover:

I've never written a crossover! But, the brain worm for Good Omens x The Good Place is definitely brewing.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of

Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but that'd be so cool!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I worked on Coming Home and A Very Clippy Christmas! @the-literal-kj and I have a major collaboration called Bitter Things in the works, too!

All time favorite ship?

I mean, how could I betray our Ineffable Idiots? Though I do have a perhaps unnatural adoration for Lucifer/Angel Crowley ;)

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

The very first Good Omens fic I ever started told the rest of the story of 1941 and how it shaped events going forward. It started as a one-shot (that is on AO3) and has five more chapters sitting in my google drive, unfinished.

What are your writing strengths?

I think I'm pretty good with metaphors and setting scenes. I've been told I'm decent with plot.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Smut and dialogue, also managing word count...

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

If it fits the story, absolutely!

First fandom you wrote in?

Good Omens is all I ever posted in, but I have a partially written Shadow and Bone fic from before I knew that what I was doing was writing a fan fic.

Favorite fic you've written?

A Little Life. I'm proud of that story and the response it got from those who read it. <3

No pressure tagging: @adverbian, @tawnyontumblr, @dbacklot99, @harlotofupdog, @doonarose

[entropicbias]

It’s not totally founded but I just read this (https(://)sonichu(.)com/cwcki/DIRTY,_CRAPPED_BRIEFS) for the first time (never knew anything about any of it until now, looked it up to understand a reference) and holy shit I think a decent chunk of the idea of the trolls in homestuck and a lot of the writing style especially of Karkat = these guys, specifically the BILLY MAYS/Clyde Cash personas. Is this just some common knowledge I missed? Is this controversial? I have no idea & I really want to know

i wish i got normal asks, like, about my day and what video games i like. why can't you guys ask me about my awesome life and my thoughts on things that aren't chris chan shitting himself and how that correlates with homestuck. i mean, this is actually pretty funny so i'm not complaining that much. but you approached me like i'm some homestuck historian.

no, man. at least in my space, this isn't common knowledge. i've never even seen anyone talk about this in specific before. like, i'm sure chris chan's trolls could've been an inspiration to hussie. maybe he spoke about it somewhere once. hell if i know.

but, even then, i read that and i honestly don't know. this kind of sounds like karkat, but karkat-esque dialogue can be found in a lot of different things. because he is probably the most basic personified internet troll. all he does is yell grotesque things and have a 'high ego'. this is a really common trait with a lot of people online. and i'm not sure if this specific persona applies to most of the other trolls. it's just kind of karkat-like.

maybe ask around so i don't have to be the only human being graced with reading this ask and also in case someone actually picked up on this like you and is willing to pop a stim talking about it. hehehe.

thank you for the ask, albeit strange!

[argisthebulwark]

Ao3 20 Questions

thank you @kagedbird for the tag!! <3<3 i will tag some friends @daedrabait @miraakswhore @somethingscarlet13 @queerbashir if u wanna participate <3

How many works do you currently have on ao3? Currently 25. holy shit, i thought it was more than that lol

What's your total ao3 word count? 98,336. Used to be like 200k before i cleaned out some old works i didn't care for anymore.

What fandoms do you write for? Skyrim and Star Trek TOS & AOS

What are your top five fics by kudos? Sorry Lass, Make Me Feel Mortal, Don't Shut Me Out, Fascinating, and Destroy Rebuild

Do you respond to comments? Sometimes! Honestly it depends on whether or not i'm online and see them. if i don't respond right away it feels rude to respond weeks after the fact, but for repeat commenters or usernames i recognize i try to!

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Idk i used to like to emotionally beat up Jim a lot, so probably one of the short stories where i explore all his traumas

What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Probably Sorry, Lass. I originally wrote it in 2015 and i'm fairly certain it ends with a mushy marriage scene.

Do you get hate on fics? Surprisingly, no. I think i got a few rude comments back when i first started, but honestly everyone's been too kind to me.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Hell yeah brother that's what i do!! I love angsty, emotionally charged smut. my personal favorite to write is angry, hatefuck type of stuff. or when they're using it to avoid talking about feelings.

Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? Not that i've ever posted lmao. I don't usually post non canon compliant fics for whatever fandom i'm working in.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Kinda. a few years ago someone let me know that my work had been reposted to a fic site i don't use and one quick message got them to take it down. Also, i once posted a fic as a one off, forgot that i'd done that, and used the same scene much later in a larger story - and some nice commenter on the original let me know that someone had stolen my idea lmao

Have you ever had a fic translated? Nope, never had anyone request that and don't want to do so incorrectly.

Have you ever cowritten a fic? Kind of? an old friend and i used to write separate chapters of our self insert marvel fics and mush them together into one story lol. never posted it anywhere, it was just shared emails and google docs.

What's your all time favorite ship? God, that's hard. probably McKirk. as i've gotten older and unlearned all the internal shame about self inserts it's gotten easier to do a self insert story instead of an established pair.

What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Every few weeks i pluck away at my regency au Miraak fic. i don't think i'll ever actually finish it because it's just so big in my head it's hard to get on paper, but i hope i do someday.

What are your writing strengths? I'm very comfortable writing sex scenes. I think that often when the author is uncomfortable about writing explicit sex the reader can really feel it in the story and i put in a lot of work to get over those mental hurdles. i've been told i'm good at characterization, which is awesome! i love getting in a character's head!

What are your writing weaknesses? Very often i find myself bogged down with the need to describe every little scene. it's a major reason i haven't posted a longfic in a while - i want to write these big stories but find myself getting lost in the little details. i also have a terrible habit of editing myself while i'm writing, which just gets me stuck in an unproductive loop.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? Since i'm only fluent in English, this isn't something i am confident in. i've written in a few fictional languages for fics before but would probably reach out or suggest another author if a reader wanted something that heavily involved this.

First fandom you wrote for? Twilight babey!!! self insert oc to smooch Edward Cullen when i was a little middle schooler!!! i didn't know what fanfiction was but i knew i had a big ol crush on him.

Favorite fic you've written? not to be cringe on main, but most of my favorites are things that never got published. they're the little things still hanging out in my google docs that i go back to over and over. i rewrote all of star trek into darkness word for word just to make bones and jim kiss, i made a self insert just to smooch skurge after hyperfixating on thor ragnarok, and the weird time a few months ago where i wrote like 40k words of a cowboy romance. i read them often and wish that i'd written more on many of them but i do not read my published works.

thanks to anyone who read my rambling lmao. love you all sososo much, thank you for reading my silly little stories and caring about them. <3<3<3

[aerodaltonimperial]

Hook/Jack/Darby prompt: fortune cookies

(okay so after writing that fucking throuple fic i was like huh i wonder how that all came to be AND THEN YOU PROMPTED THIS and i was like shit now this stupid ot3 is going to become my entire personality isn't it ANYWAY this is the first, chronological, for this dialogue-only experiment i've got going on 💚🧡⚰️)

"—got the sauce on my fingers, and—"

"Okay, well hold still, and then—okay, okay, he's here. Hi, Darby. Uh, yeah, um... have a seat."

"... sure."

"Um, it's, uh, good to see you."

"I hope so, since you invited me."

"Haha, right."

"You ordered food already?"

"We got here early."

"And your food already arrived?"

"Really, really early."

"Yes, thanks Hook, uh. We, uh... anyway. Uh, it's good to... I already said that. Uh, so, how are you?"

"... hungry."

"Well, you can eat. We ordered, like, so much food."

"Yeah, we were really ner.... uh. Um. No? Okay. Right, uh. Mm. Right, so... Darby."

"Jack."

"You and I, uh... you know, we, uh, tagged together. That was... that was fun, and uh... well, see, I always sort of thought that we, uh..."

"... what is this hand motion thing."

"Uh. A... th... you know, kind of a thing."

"A... thing."

"Yeah, you know, I kind of always though that, um, you and I sort of had, like, a connection, you know? A, uh... am I, am I doing this right?"

"Fuck if I know, Jack."

"Uh, and uh...okay, well. We, Hook and I, we... um... we, uh, had a... a proposition for you. We have a proposition for you. Um. I should have, uh, practiced this. Ahead of time."

"Hold on. Is this a sex thing?"

"... is this a...?"

"Darby. Why would we invite you to this hole-in-the-wall Chinese restaurant—"

"And be in a dark corner—"

"—and specifically request a dark booth in the corner, if we were going to ask you something normal?"

"Oh. Okay."

"What... what does that mean, 'oh, okay'?"

"I was just checking for comprehension."

"...he was just...?"

"Okay, what Jack has been trying to say, is that we, him and me, we... yeah, this is a sex thing."

"Okay."

"What does... what does that mean, exactly?"

"Well, you really haven't given me any specifics yet."

"We have to... Hook, we need... uh... how specific are you looking for here?"

"Ballpark it, Jack."

"Ballpark it... uh. Okay, but like, how... how much in the ballpark are we talking about, like. Uh, are we, uh, getting a home run? Or, like, going to...bases? Plates? A fly ball? I really don't know baseball."

"Jack, what the fuck is a fly ball in this analogy?"

"I don't know, Hook, I'm panicking, and I don't know what to—he's laughing now. He's just laughing."

"I'm sorry, I've just never seen anyone stumble this badly asking someone else for a threesome."

"You get asked this a lot or something?"

"No, but man, it's gotta be smoother than this, holy shit."

"Oh god. He's... he's totally right, this is the worst—"

"Darby."

"Yes, Hook."

"You wanna have sex with us or not?"

"Hm."

"That's... that's just a face. What does that mean? Is that a yes or a no? You want—yeah, okay, just... eat some... sure."

"Y'know, the food's really good though."

"Yeah, it's good?"

"Mm. Okay."

"... what does... what does that okay mean?"

"Darby, you keep saying okay and no one fucking knows what that means."

"Man, you guys really are nervous."

"Yeah, we panic ordered five dinners, what do you want?"

"One second."

"Why are you... the fortune cookie is supposed to come at the end, you know. Are you... he's just gonna open it."

"...and? Gonna share with the class?"

"Okay. I'll do it."

"Why did that sound like you're being drafted?"

"Did the fortune cookie tell you to do it?"

"Jack, you think I opened a fortune cookie, and it said, you should have a threesome with these dudes?"

"Okay, now that you say that, I'm realizing it would have been really smart to plant that on the table before you got here, but, uh, probably not."

"So, first we eat this fuck ton of food you guys ordered, and—"

"Wait, like, you mean you'll do it tonight? Hook, do we...?"

"I mean, I guess... king sized beds."

"Mm. And there's totally a hot tub down by the pool."

"Darby, I don't... uh, I don't think we should do this in the very open hot tub... in the hotel where everywhere we work with is staying."

"Nah, of course we won't have sex there."

"Oh. Good, okay."

"It's just for foreplay."

"Jesus, Jack you fucking—water everywhere... you gonna die? You need me to, give you the Heimlich or something?"

"Oh my god."

"Sorry, you're just so easy to wind up. It's funny every time."

"Darby, don't kill him before we figure this shit out."

"Yeah, good point. Okay. We eat this food. You guys pay, because you've got no-limit platinum cards and you ordered enough for a small army, and then we go back to the hotel."

"And...?"

"And we see how specific it gets."

"... uh."

"Okay, Jack?"

"Yeah, okay, we'll just... we'll just wing it. Yeah. We'll just see what happens. Right, Hook?"

"Right. Absolutely."

"And, uh... what did the fortune cookie really say?"

"You should have a threesome with these dudes."

"Darby."

"Maybe I'll tell you later, Jack. But you should probably eat. I think you might need some energy for tonight."

[sadboytristan]

I kept rewriting an internal dialogue for felix (from a Hero's cuties fic I've been working.) In attempt to shorten it cause its way too long. Like hilariously long, especially with the context.

I'll attempt to keep that short. (It infact was not short)

uh, so they do the hanky panky, a lil rough (consent, o'course) and at some point, Tam shoves felix (a couch. Well, a chair) and he's like "Oh my land!"

Then chuckles nervously, he realises "Well gosh, im a nervous nellie!" Cause he landed on the couch, and not,, the floor??

The internal dialogue is him, jokingly scolding himself. "Tammy wouldnt do that!" And Its a full paragraph, because I cannot think of way to make it shorter.

So I'm a tad frustrated, since this was the 5th rewrite and I wrote it.. in the most, aggressive southern twang. I completely LOST IT while reading it over because I read it in his voice and OH MY GOD

this is original and yeah its in character but ridiculously too long:

'Gosh, I sure am a nervous nellie! Tammy wouldn't... sure, against a wall while kissin' me, but I- we both enjoy that! But the ground, without somethin' soft t'land on? Well, thats a load of hoo-wee! Plain ol' silly, me thinkin-'

"A load of hoo-wee" just slightly southern, not aggressive though. Yall get it though, it's absolutely too long (I do little commentaries on my writing, and I called this a damn soliloquy. Reading THAT after a day or two, had me I was wheezing. I forgot and holy shit, the image in my head was SO FUNNY)

The 5th damn rewrite:

'Jiminey jaminey, I'm as jumpy as a cat on a hot tin roof! Tammy, sure as sugar, enjoys smoochin' me 'gainst a wall! But I tell ya, we both get a kick outta that! But fallin' on the hard ground, without nothin' cushy t'land on? That's just plumb ridiculous, if you ask me! Why, she'd never-'

The southern twang is just, way too much.

At first, I thought "man, that's- there is no damn way" until I messaged my ex who I'm friends with, is southern, and his response was

"Well, color me impressed! Ya remembered all that? Boy, I sure taught ya well!"

Before he adds, and this is word for word

"And gosh! That gal really getta kick outta that? lil' shovin' 'Gainst a wall, 'fore plantin' one on 'im? Shoot, they both fancy it, I reckon!"

A lil neckin'

I cant believe, it has been HOURS. He said I got "the southern stamp of approval" and tbh, I'm honoured