#i've never gone very far into ng+

[the-overanalyzer]

Shout out to the INT build who summoned me for a NG+ Albinauric Village Omenkiller fight that they 100% could have killed in one hit if I hadn't been there inflating the thing's HP.

[grandeoatmilklatte]

Further With You 💚 (Ominis x F!MC)

I'm back with more Ominis one shots! I've got two more coming up after this as well so hope you guys are ready for an influx in Ominis love!

This one is based off a delicious Thirsty Hour post from the wonderful @greedyforgarreth.💕 It was this post specifically. I couldn't get the imagery out of my head and needed to write something surrounding it.

Tagging my Ghostface partner in crime @myrachondria cause I know you love my Ominis content! 💕

Further With You - Ominis Gaunt x F!MC || Summary: Ominis and MC are in a brand new relationship. After keeping things innocent this whole time, they decide to take things a little further. (Sorry the summary is crappy but this fic is 10% plot 90% smut!) 2.2k words

Warnings: Characters aged up, 18+, and in 7th year || NSFW || Smut || 0ral || f!ng3r!ng || Minors DNI ||

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The cold winter air was refreshing as it hit her face, one hand pushing open the door that led outside, while her other hand tugged on her boyfriend’s hand, leading him along.

Ominis let out a soft chuckle. “Now darling, where are we going in this cold weather?”

She dragged him a short distance to a little corner in the Transfiguration Courtyard. The normally busy courtyard was empty due to the cold snow that littered the ground as well as the air, but the heat they were both feeling overshadowed any feelings of cold they would have had. She pushed him against the wall, slamming her lips into his. The kiss was rough, wet, and sloppy. Her hands were in his hair as his came to her waist, pulling her closer, as if she could get any closer, her body already flush against his. He pulled away for a moment to catch his breath. “Someone couldn’t wait, huh?” He teased. 

“Is that a complaint? I can stop, you know!” She teased back with a bite to her voice, which excited him. 

Ominis brought his head forward, catching her lips with his as they resumed. It had only been a month since this had started, and Ominis still couldn’t believe his luck. After pining for her all of sixth year, she was finally his, after he had mustered up the courage to tell her how he felt. To his surprise, she had spent her year pining over him as well, also being too scared to admit it. Now, they were a month into a beautiful relationship, and Ominis felt like the happiest man alive.

She was the one to pull away this time. He heard a small sigh fall from her lips before she spoke. 

“I actually brought you out here to talk to you…as well as kiss you!” She laughed, but Ominis could hear the nervousness that accompanied her laugh. He felt her place a hand to his cheek, softly stroking it. “I know we’ve only been together for a month, but…I really want to…take things further with you…I…I’m ready to take things further.” Her heart felt like it was going to burst out of her chest as she finished her sentence. 

Ominis’s heart, on the other hand, felt like it had stopped. “Take things further” he heard her voice repeat in his head. Although they loved each other deeply, they hadn’t gone very far with each other yet, at least not physically. They did snog, a lot, almost too much according to Sebastian the numerous times he caught them in the Undercroft or in numerous little hidden corners around the school (like the one they were in now). They had also done their fair share of over-the-clothing activities - Ominis’s hands were very familiar with the size and squishiness of her breasts, and she thoroughly enjoyed grinding herself against his clothed cock, leaving him with a boner he had to desperately will away before someone noticed. But they had never gone any further than that.

“Further…?” Ominis whispered, the naughty thoughts flooding his brain left him breathless. 

“Yes, further, as in, the things we’ve already been doing, but maybe more…naked.” He could hear her confidence rising as she spoke. “And maybe we could do some things we haven’t tried before…also…naked.” She let out a small laugh that made Ominis melt. He leaned in to give her a quick kiss before he took her hand. This time he was the one leading as he held out his wand, allowing it to guide him back inside and towards the Undercroft, which had become their spot to spend alone time together. 

They were stopped on their way there by Garreth, who begged for her quick assistance with a brew he was working on. She agreed, promising Ominis it would be quick. But the quick detour turned into a several hour delay, as they kept getting interrupted by another one of her friends needing a favor everytime they finished helping someone. He always loved her willingness to help those around her, but right now the personality trait couldn’t be more frustrating.

When it seemed as though she had helped half the student body with their problems, it was dinner time. The anticipation they both had was now desperation. Ominis assumed their alone time would have to wait once again, so he was taken by surprise when she pulled him away from the Great Hall towards their prior destination.

“My my, I would have thought you would have wanted to at least have dinner first, my love!”

“There’s only one thing I’m hungry for, darling, and it’s not food!” she shot him a wink before she burst out laughing. “I’m sorry! I know that was awful, I just couldn’t help myself!” She stopped as they approached the Undercroft door. She took a deep breath before tapping her wand to the clock face. Finally, the two of them were going to be alone. 

As soon as the door to the Undercroft chimed shut, her arms were wrapped around Ominis’s neck, pulling him into a rough, sloppy kiss. He returned her kiss with equal passion, their tongues intertwining. Without breaking their kiss, she pulled their bodies over to their little corner of the Undercroft, where they had previously left a collection of pillows and blankets. On the nights where sleep evaded them both, they met up down here, finding comfort wrapped in the blankets and each other’s arms. The Undercroft was their favorite spot for innocent alone time, but tonight it was going to be used for a much naughtier purpose. 

She reluctantly broke the kiss to get down on the ground, sitting herself on the blankets and pulling Ominis down with her. When they were both on the floor, they resumed their make out session. As they devoured each other, Ominis’s hands ran all over her clothed body as her hands ran through his blonde hair. 

“Darling…” Ominis started, pulling away for a second to catch his breath.  “I know we were eager to do this earlier, but I don’t want you to feel like we have to do this right now…” There was a nervousness to Ominis’s voice as his eyes darted away from her direction. Her hands released his hair and cupped his cheeks, her thumbs swiping across his cheeks lovingly. 

“Ominis, I want to do this, but only if you want to.” Her voice was soft and gentle. It was the same soft and gentle voice she always had with him, the voice he fell in love with. She was always so soft and so gentle with him, a contrast to how everyone else had been with him his whole life. There was nothing he wanted more than to be closer to her. He answered her concern by bringing his head forward, meeting her lips. Her hands came down to the buttons of his shirt, slowly working them open as her fingers shook, still nervous, but eager. Ominis took that as his cue to do the same, and within minutes, they were naked before each other.

She took a moment to look over his bare form, sighing slightly, which Ominis of course caught. “Everything alright, my love?” He asked. She could only respond with a “Mhm”. He was beautiful, almost angelic. Her heart ached as she was reminded that he couldn’t see her the same way. She closed the distance between them as she pulled him in for another kiss, but not before he took his hands and placed them on her waist, allowing him to feel her bare skin. 

His hands squeezed her hips before they moved upwards, coming up to cup and squeeze her bare breasts. He chuckled lightly against her lips as he did so. His hands continued to move slowly up and down her chest, feeling every inch of her upper half. He was mapping her body, the same way he had mapped her face when they first became friends, the way he had mapped her lips before their first kiss. 

After several moments, his hands came to rest on her hips as he pulled her lower half, having her lay on her back. He finally pulled his kiss-swollen lips away from her equally swollen lips as he hovered over her.

“Before we do anything, can you…spread your legs for me so I can just feel you?” his nervousness was back. “Obviously I’ve never…touched between a woman’s legs before. I just want to memorize every inch of you.”

She laid back on her elbows and spread her legs wide, as Ominis kneeled between them. One hand came to rest on her hip while the other moved up her thigh. His fingers trembled, which he apologized for with a nervous laugh. She reassured him that everything was okay, and that she’d guide him through if he was worried. 

He reached his destination, his fingers lightly grazing her. He took a sharp intake of breath before his finger slipped between her wet folds. The softest sigh fell from her lips at his action, almost as if she was trying to hide it. This gave him the encouragement to add a second finger. “You’re so wet, darling.” He groaned. He then began to move his fingers up and down her slit, coating them in her wetness, committing the feeling of her to his memory, and this was certainly something he wanted engraved in his brain for all eternity. She was slowly and softly panting as his still trembling fingers moved down, grazing her entrance, and then grazing her asshole as they moved further down. He made sure to press over each hole, earning small moans out of her before he brought his fingers back up. 

“Show me where your…sweet spot is?” Ominis asked nervously. He wasn’t completely unaware of a woman’s anatomy, having heard far too many things from Sebastian. She took a hold of his hand, moving his fingers up towards her clit. “Right here.” She whispered as she moved his fingers to rub one small circle into herself. He followed her direction, rubbing his own slow, small circle into her, an action which elicited a whimper out of her. He continued rubbing, memorizing every twitch her body made in response, as the sounds of her moans flooded his ears. 

He moved his hand lower, his fingers greeting her entrance once again. His fingers didn’t tremble this time as he slipped them inside. Her body was so inviting, a feeling of heat and tightness meeting his fingers. “So warm.” He whispered as he moved his fingers, feeling around until he found a spongey spot. “Is this your other sweet spot?” He asked with more confidence in his voice as he pressed down on it. He got his answer in the form of a loud moan and a violent buck of her hips. 

He continued to pump his fingers in and out of her, while his other hand came off of her hip and on to her clit, ensuring that both of her sweet spots were getting the love they deserved. She was practically screaming, and Ominis hoped that they were too far underground to be heard in the hallway. Not that he had a right to complain about her noises, as he was making his own noises as well. He felt so overwhelmed by what was unfolding in front of him, the woman he loved falling apart in his hands. He was falling apart himself, his hard length leaking, dangerously close to his own undoing. All of his senses were full of her - his ears filled with her beautiful sounds, his fingers feeling her warmth, his nose filled with her intoxicating scent, all he was missing was a taste of her…

Without a second thought, he crashed his lips into where his hand was working her clit, and if the students didn’t hear her before, they heard her now. 

His wet fingers gripped her thighs as his mouth devoured her. He moaned against her as he alternated between sucking and licking, eager to push her past her limit. Her release was quick and intense, a scream of his name topping it off. He took in every drop of her release as his own release hit him as quickly and as intensely as hers had, his cum coating the blanket underneath them as he whimpered her name. 

They both sat up, panting heavily. She took note of the mess on their blanket, a look of disappointment painting her face. 

“Ominis! I’m sorry! I would have loved to have taken care of that for you!” she groaned.

“Oh, it’s quite alright darling, I don’t think I could have handled anything else. Taking care of you was more than enough stimulation for today.” He shot her a shy smile, his nervousness flooding back to him for a fleeting moment before it faded away as she leaned in to kiss him, tasting herself on his lips. 

They cleaned up, smiling to themselves as they did so. Ominis couldn’t help the way he heart was fluttering, reveling in the big step their relationship had just taken. It would only get better from here, and he was excited for the next step, knowing there was still so much more exploring left to do with each other.

[eldaryasharbinger]

MCL NG Halloween event day 1 yapping 🎃

I really like the new event and how it works, so let's skip to the parts I DON'T like first!

I hateee that the different colors are limited to the event... Let me buy it whenever I want once it's unlocked omg!!! Especially since they're all SOOO expensive individually!! I definitely won't be able to play the next episode and I don't know for how long (Also because I'll be gone that weekend so even if I had the AP and Gems, I still would have to wait,, I'm consoled since the next EP for The Sims 4 is coming out Thursday and I'm eating that pack up but now we're going offtopic...)

I guess that it makes sense that they're "exclusive"... Since that's like the main way to get money

🐝: "Oh, you want different colors for this item? Too bad you either spend ALMOST 200 AP for something (which we know you dont have❤️ so pay us up❤️) or you have to wait another year!!"

Put me in jail for hoping and being delusional ig😔🙏🏻

I'm also just joking right now so don't take me too seriously but yeah,, I wasn't expecting everything to be cheap, BUT OMG !!! So EXPENSIVE and for WHAT?!? (I say, again, as if I don't know why already)

I also don't like how we only have two outfits and one paid outfit, I guess I should count the free gift as well since that makes it 4 and I'm okay with that?

It's also nice, we get a free outfit, then we get two more from the event and there's another extra for those who want to pay the price (me...)

I love the new eyes and mouth! Was really looking forward to getting more and these did not disappoint!! I also love how the bats have different variants... I got many... And they're priced 77AP so yeah don't ask me how I'm doing

I don't really like how the doll outfit's dress is only one piece tho :( It'll be hard to style that with other things but I shall do it anyway...

I was also hoping to get more short haircuts but the ones we got aren't bad at all and we definitely don't have anything like those already! I knew people wanted a longer curly wig so I hope you all enjoy it!!

And since I've moved from the things I hate let me pass to the things I've enjoyed (again?)

Like I said at the beginning, I like the new minigame and how it works, it's fun and quick too? I also like the way the points are given out (because it's easier to get many points than just a few)

The site's layout is nice, I like the new colors and I also really like the new rooms we get!! (Somewhat offtopic from the layout but I just remembered lol) I haven't unlocked anything so far from the F2P room, but I love the vampire-themed one! (oh well of course I do, I'm one myself after all...)

Last thing that comes to mind are the Illustrations and scenes! I've only played Amanda's and Jason's so far, but I enjoyed both (Amanda's more too!!)

The illustrations are MESMERIZING (I'm looking at you again, Amanda!!!!) I've only seen the other ones quickly from other people's posts and the third one that looked really good to me was Thomas's! Roy's and Devon's didn't particularly catch my interest, IDK what's going on in those so I'll have to wait and see!

I love all of the LI's costumes so much too!! My favorites probably being Thomas and Devon because they fit surprisingly well!

I wasn't that sure about Vampire!Amanda but she's sooo gorgeous like!! Her platinum blonde hair fits very well... I'm glad I'm getting back into her 😭❤️🙏🏻

Honestly you can't be surprised that I like almost everything since it's an Halloween event, I'm also cutting this short (as if it's not a long af post already) because I have to get ready for work...

Let me know what you all think of it so far! I'm always going in with 0 expectations so that's my trick to never get disappointed (See where the only thing I wish we had was the permanent items in the wardrobe and that's like the main thing I was disappointed in? That's what I mean)

[solesurvivorkat]

'Shadow of Steel' ch. 35 preview

So... I recently discovered that it hasn't been two years since I last updated 'Shadow of Steel', my FO4 fic.

...It's been three. Three years.

THREE WHOLE YEARS. F*ck!ng HELL. (lol)

I am SO sorry. I know I've apologized and made excuses ad nauseum, but seriously - I am wicked sorry.

I mean... I'm not sorry for taking care of my kids (my son's autism has been a hell of a ride thus far, as well as me discovering {unofficially, but w/ good reason} that I'm very likely autistic as well. And my daughter is gonna be 1 year old in less than a month {sob!}, so that speaks for itself), but still - I never intended to have the wait be that long. That's insane.

BUT. I am remedying that now. Or I'm trying to, anyway. I don't want to let the story go - I've worked too hard, put waaaay too much work into so much of what's gone into it (and still will go into it in the future) to just drop it like a hot potato now.

SO. It's only fair that to make up for it, I share at least a small part of the beginning of the chapter I'm working on, so that people can see that I'm not just all talk (...again, lol).

Thank you again, a million times over, for anyone and everyone that's read this fic (or any of my fics, TBH), and especially to those many people that have left me such nice comments on it in the past. I seriously live for your feedback, and I truly mean it when I say that reading it makes my day. To think that I created something that people enjoy even a little bit is so gratifying to me. I love you guys more than you'll know, I really do.

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

'SHADOW OF STEEL', Ch. 35 (Intro)

S9 watched them go until they were a good distance away, wanting to make sure they didn’t see which direction he headed off to. He shook his head and grumbled to himself, then bent and lifted Nora into his arms once more. With one last check of the vicinity, he sighed and began walking north, hoping he wouldn’t run into any more trouble along the way. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “I eagerly await every single detail,” Arthur replied stiffly, stepping forward. His hand found Womack’s shoulder, replacing Haylen’s. “But I need your mind clear, Knight. So take a minute or two to pull yourself together with Cade, gather your thoughts - and when you’re able to, meet me in my quarters.” He turned to face the others, brow furrowing as he looked from soldier to soldier. “As for the rest of you... I want you all to follow me there - now."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nora’s first few nights sleeping in the Prydwen’s barracks with the other Brotherhood soldiers hadn’t been easy. She didn’t think she’d ever completely get used to the sound of its four constantly roaring jet engines. Over time, however... the Prydwen had gradually transformed into her new home, her friends in the Brotherhood like her new family, and all the mechanical sounds the airship produced had eventually become commonplace, her new ‘normal’... maybe even preferable - the automation becoming like white noise that lulled her to sleep night after night.

...Something was different.

Gone were the loud thrummings of the airship rotors and instrumentation, yet her surroundings weren’t silent. The soft hum of... some kind of machinery could be heard, although it didn’t sound close by - more like it was at a bit of a distance. The surface she was laying on felt like an old mattress - not hard, but not soft or entirely comfortable either. 

One of the metal springs pushing into the flat of her back made her shift slightly, hoping to find temporary relief. Her eyelids scrunched together before opening into tight, narrow slits. Dim as the light above her was, it didn’t prevent her from squeezing her eyes back shut with a quiet groan.

“Hm. Good to see you’re awake. ...I was beginning to think that idiotic raider overdosed you.”

The only thing that caused Nora more alarm in an unknown location than hearing the voice of a stranger, was hearing the voice of someone she hadn’t heard in a very long time - a voice she never thought she’d ever hear again, save from a 200 year old holotape she kept in safekeeping. 

Her eyes snapped open once more, head jerking to her right towards the source of the voice. The room she was in looked like some kind of... were they in a vault? Or some sort of... pre-war research building?? The one large window in her room overlooked some kind of atrium to a larger facility, where there were more rooms across and further down from hers.

The man who’d spoken was facing away from her, leaning an arm against the window. The lower part of the man’s face was covered by a cloth bandana - but that didn’t stop Nora’s pulse from spiking from his familiarity. 

His hair was a bit longer, more unkempt... but it was the same color. Same height. Same build. And she knew that voice. KNEW it, and knew it intimately. It didn’t matter that his back was to her, that part of his face was obscured... it hadn’t mattered when they were back at the South Boston Military Checkp-

...The Military Checkpoint. Haylen. Womack. The raiders, her fusion core exploding. The man that didn’t seem to quite belong with the other raiders there. Him unmasking himself, and-

Everything flew back to her in an instant. She grunted and shook her head slightly while blinking a few times, as if that would make sense of anything that’d happened... was still happening. 

Ignoring the protests from her stiff body, she struggled to sit up - only to discover that her left (and Pip-Boy-free) wrist was handcuffed to the metal headboard of her bed frame.

“Wha-”

Sensing some kind of pressure against her throat, her right hand instinctively flew upwards. Her eyes widened when she felt metal encircling it. So much to process all at once... almost too much. Her gaze darted back and forth from her handcuffed hand to the man that had spoken to her. 

“Take it off.”

It was a couple moments before Nora realized that the glacial order had come from her, almost not recognizing her own choked, tense voice. The man didn’t move for several seconds, then lowered his head a little.

“I thought it might be easier for you if-”

“TAKE. IT OFF,” she repeated in a sharp hiss, her teeth clenching and every part of her body tensing like a cobra preparing ready to strike. “NOW.”

The man remained stationary a bit longer - and though Nora couldn’t see the lower half of his face, she got the distinct impression that he was conflicted, weighing his next move or words very carefully. Finally, after he straightened up and let out a soft sigh, he reached up and pulled his bandana down around his neck, then slowly turned around.

Time suddenly moved in slow motion. Every bit closer he got to facing her, her anxiety increased exponentially, heart pounding in her chest. When familiar eyes - HIS eyes - finally met her own... it was as if the world stopped completely.

Her wedding photo flashed in her mind’s eye. Morning coffee at their breakfast table. Their first date. Christmases spent with family. An autumn stroll together in the park, while pushing Shaun in his baby carriage. Laughter. Stroking his cheek while laying next to him in bed. Standing together at the bathroom mirror, looking at their reflections. Sirens. Running. Fire. Terror. The roar of explosions. The vault. The cryopods. A gunshot. Nora’s screaming voice. Her fists pounding on the glass of the pod while watching Institute scientists kidnap her baby. Her husband’s corpse left behind. 

Nora cried out softly and used her free hand to grasp at her forehead, eyes squeezing shut. No, this wasn’t real. None of it was. This was all a bad dream, a hallucination, a mental break, something… she was going to take a deep breath, steel herself, then open her eyes. When she did, she’d be back in the Prydwen. Danse or Arthur or Brooks - someone would be there, be able to help her. Tell her that it’s all right. That she was safe, back amongst friends.

She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. 

‘Okay... be a dream. Please be a dream. Don’t be real.’

She was reluctant to open her eyes - and when she did, her heart sank when she saw the man still facing her bed, waiting patiently.

God.

[rarestnicole]

Everything I Didn't Say

Happy birthday, Mommy Maits.

Dear Mommy, happy birthday. I love you, next to God but above anyone else. Both of us love music, so I'm using the lyrics of songs that I find fit to everything that I wanted to tell you whenever I hear them.

You are my world.

🎶 There's so many things I wanna say. I will always love you, I would never leave you alone. 🎶

Hindi ako madalas mag-message sa'yo ng ganito, but I always want to talk to you. Remember how I always tell you everything that I do, everyone that I know, and all the things that run into my mind whenever we talk through the phone and in person? LOL. I always think that it's nice to tell you every thing that happens in my life kasi you're not just my Mom, you're also my best friend and my safe haven. Napapanatag ako kapag sinasabi ko sa'yo ang lahat. Yes, I want you to see how obedient and honest I am for you to trust me enough when it comes to my decisions. But also, I want you to feel that I love you. That I love you that much to tell you the truth even when I know that you won't like some of it. Kahit po alam ko na mapapagalitan o mapagsasabihan mo ako sa ibang pinaggagagawa ko o sinasamahan ko, I'd still tell you honestly how and why I did it because I love you to the point where I can't seem to lie to you. You don't deserve my lies. You never will. So I'm assuring you always that I'll be honest. I am even telling you who my crush is. LOL, medyo big deal siya but hey, you're my Mom. What's wrong with telling you who makes me blush whenever I see him, right? Haha! Just don't think that I'll be having a boyfriend soon 'cause I don't think that I'd have one this year. Ask me again in 2019. I don't tell you that I love you because we weren't really that sweet to each other, but I am making ways to make you feel it. Hahaha. Could you tell whenever I'm trying to? I hope so. I'll never leave you, Mommy. How could someone live if she'll leave her world? She'd probably die or be miserable until death.

🎶 Sometimes I just forget, say things I might regret. 🎶

I'm sorry if I make you upset, Mommy. Sorry po kasi pinapairal ko ang katigasan ng ulo ko at ginagawa lang ang gusto ko. Sorry kung nagtatampo ako sa'yo kapag hindi mo ako pinapayagan sa ibang gusto kong puntahan. Sorry kasi dumadagdag pa po ako sa mga nagpapasakit ng ulo mo when I should be comforting you kasi ang dami mo na ngang inaasikaso at iniisip. Please know that even when I'm being a brat, at the end of the day, magsisisi pa rin ako kasi I don't feel good kapag hindi tayo bati. :3

🎶 It breaks my heart to see you crying. 🎶

I'll never get used to see you crying and I don't even want to try. I don't even want to see you crying, more so, hear you sob because I always want you to be happy and comfortable. I have seen you cry more than the times that you allowed me to see. I also heard you cry and that's the most horrible sound that I have ever heard. I cried with you silently without you knowing. Alam ko po na hindi ko mapipigilan ang mga pag-iyak mo, that's normal. Tao ka na napapagod, nasasaktan at nalulungkot kaya hindi maiiwasang umiyak. Ang gusto ko lang po gawin ay damayan ka kapag dumating ang oras na iiyak ka. Even when I'm far from you, I want to comfort you and tell you how you mean to me even when you're flawed, even when you failed and even when you're broken beyond repair. I'd love you still. How could I not love the person who showed me how to love? You are the best example of a loving daughter and you inspired me to be one. After all, the best mother deserves the best daughter, so here I am!

🎶 I don't wanna lose you, I could never make it alone. 🎶

Natatandaan ko pa po ang sinabi mo noon na "Kapag ako namatay, kakagatin mo ang siko mo." Alam mo po bang simula noon, sinubukan kong kagatin ang siko ko? Hahaha. It's not because I want you gone, I just wanted to know kung kakayanin ko ba kapag namatay ka na. I'd probably be miserable my whole life. I can't imagine my life without you, I'd be lost forever. Here's a little secret; when I was young, nasa mga prayer ko ang mauna sana akong mamatay sa inyo ni Daddy kasi hindi ko kaya kapag iniwan ninyo ako. Haha. Pero nung iniwan naman ako ni Daddy, kaya ko naman pala, hindi naman kasi kami ganun ka-close at mas kailangan naman kasi kita at mas mahal. I dunno pero kahit mas spoiled ako kay Daddy and kahit you were always strict, I'd always choose you over Daddy. Strange. Strange kasi he's my blood and I thought that it'll always be thicker than water. Hmm. Maybe because you're the best among the rest of them. Kaya siguro hindi ko magawang sumama noon kay Daddy kahit mas sweet siya. HAHAHA. Alam ko po siguro deep inside me na mas mahal mo ako, mas ramdam ko siguro kahit hindi ko naririnig. I could never make it without you, Mommy. Don't leave me, ha? I'm a bit scared kapag naiisip ko po na magbi-birthday ka kasi tumatanda ka po. Thankful naman ako kay Lord kasi may isang taon kami ulit na kasama ka but still, it's freaking scary to think about you getting older. Hindi ko pa rin po kayang kagatin ang siko ko up 'til now and I probably won't be able to, kaya don't leave me, Mmy, ha?

🎶 You keep me standing tall, you helped me through it all. 🎶

When I'm insecure about myself, you'd always tell me that I could do it, except dancing. Sabi mo sa akin lagi, "Sus, kayang kaya mo 'yan." And I'd believe that I could do anything kasi kasasabi mo lang po eh. But when it comes to dancing, wala yata talaga kasi sinabi mo rin po eh. Haha. Whenever I'm having a hard time, you'd be there to guide me and tell me what to do. I appreciate all of that po.

🎶 I have always needed you, I could never make it alone. 🎶

I'll always need you kahit saan po ako mapunta kaya please be there for me always. I'll always be with you, too. I'll be your best friend and your daughter. I'll take care of you and I'll love you more because you deserve to be taken care of and to be loved more than you think you do. You're precious, Mommy.

You are my light.

🎶 Staring out at the rain with a heavy heart, it's the end of the world in my mind. 🎶

When I was a younger, I usually think that this world is better off without me because I shouldn't be here in the first place. I always thought that I was Mama and Papa's mistake, do tou know that Mommy? I thought that I ruined their lives but I never wanted any of this. I blamed them for being irresponsible and almost held a grudge against them for that. I always thought that I wasn't enough for anyone to stay just because Dad chose to leave me... He left us. Whatever, it's his loss.

🎶 Then your voice pulls me back like a wake up call. I've been looking for the answers somewhere. I couldn't see that it was right there. 🎶

Whenever I feel worthless, I think of you and I feel useful. I always wanted to be useful for you. Gusto ko po makatulong lagi sa'yo para hindi ka po masyadong mahirapan, I think that's the reason why I was born. I think I was born for you to become the best mother. If that was actually it, then I'm glad to be Mama and Papa's mistake just to be your ray of sunshine. I hope that I'm one of your rays of sunshine or even just the color orange in the rainbow of your life.

🎶 But now I know what I didn't know: because you live and breathe, because you make me believe in myself when nobody else can help. 🎶

You're my one-man cheering squad. Your happiness is also my happiness. My success is invalid without you because all of it is because of you. Dearest Mommy, if some days I'll turn again into your bratty daughter, please know that at the end of those days, I am regretting it wholeheartedly but I'm just too shy to say sorry. Even when I'm shy to say sorry, I'd always try to make it up to you. I'll always appreciate how you defend me and how you take my side when you know that I'm right but please don't do that often because it makes me cry. Hahahaha. Just tell me how I'm tough to ge through it and just be there for me always, like forever. Haha!

🎶 Because you live, Mom, my world has twice as many stars in the sky. 🎶

I put so much into this letter for you because you deserve it. I'll leave all the tears and emotions that passed through me here, in this very letter, and hope that you'll feel how much you are loved by a person you named Anne Nicole. You make my world even brighter, Mommy. You make anyone's world brighter. Your love is so precious to the point that some people are scared of it because they know that it's too much for them to deserve.

Cheers to another 50 years ahead!

[oumakokichi]

I've seen your ranking, and I wonder why you like Juzo so much ? I can't help but think his redemption doesn't outweight his previous actions. He helped stopping the killing game but that was him fixing something he did and saving someone he cared about, which isn't selflessness. He assaulted people for reasons that were petty or unjustified, so it felt really forced when he saved Naegi. Also, he let Junko end the world because he didn't want Munakata to know he was gay ? Please enlighten me.

Personally, I like Juzo becausehe’s not supposed to be a selfless or a sweet or softhearted character. If Juzohad stopped the killing game for any of those kinds of reasons, or if dr3 hadsuddenly tried to play Juzo off as a character who was entirely selfless foreveryone’s sake, I’d have been incredibly disappointed. But as it is, Juzo’scharacter development was one of the few things dr3 managed to do right.

Juzo scores #3 on my personalcharacter ranking because he’s an incredibly well-written and flawed characterwho is given his own autonomy and has a compelling arc of development. He’s alsopretty much the embodiment of the Undying Loyalty trope, something I like in mycharacters—and even better is that dr3 managed to emphasize that that’s hisstrength and his weakness at the same time.

In a lot of ways, Juzo remindsme of a better-done Maki. Like Maki, Juzo is a bit of a throwback to some other“killing machine” characters, like Mukuro and Peko. While SHSL Boxer is a farcry away from SHSL Soldier, Swordswoman, or Assassin, it’s still a fact thatJuzo is thought of first and foremost as hired muscle, by Munakata, Tengan,Kizakura, and pretty much everyone else in the Future Foundation. He’s meant toact as an enforcer, act first and ask questions later—and he’s perfectly finewith that.

Juzo is no strategist or ideasman by any means, but he’s aware of that. His forte is punching problems untilthey go away, so that’s what he does, the same way that Maki’s first instinctis to eliminate a target so they’re out of her life completely.

But Maki’s characterdevelopment is ultimately hampered by having to center around Momota’scharacter, and all the frustratingly misogynistic “life lessons” he gives herabout how “women should take care of children, not use weapons,” “women shouldlook cute, not work as a hired assassin” etc. Juzo, on the other hand, doesn’thave that problem, because the sad fact of the matter is that male characterswho are cold and aloof and think of themselves as weapons will receive bettertreatment from the writers than female characters with the same flaws.

Just as Maki prioritizes Momotaover everything and everyone else in the group, Juzo does exactly the samething with Munakata. But again, unlike Maki, whose coldness and recklessnessalmost never gets called out by the narrative (not even when she tried to killeveryone else in Chapter 5, for which she received a slap on the wrist atmost), dr3 pretty much spends all its time calling Juzo out. And that’s exactlywhat I like. There’s hardly a character in Future Arc who didn’t allude to Juzo’sfeelings for Munakata or lampshade the fact that Juzo would throw everyone elseunder the bus in two seconds if Munakata asked him to. Characters like Kizakurawere smart enough to realize that Juzo will get angrier on behalf of Munakatathan he will on behalf of himself, even. And this is a good way to highlightthe fact that loyalty isn’t always a good character trait necessarily.

Juzo absolutely didn’tsacrifice himself for everyone else’s sake—he only did it for Munakata’s. IfMunakata hadn’t been involved in the killing game, I have no doubt that Juzowouldn’t have given two shits about pretty much anyone else involved, exceptmaybe Chisa or Seiko, who were in their same faction. But he wouldn’t have goneto the lengths he did to stop the game just for their sake. What really madehis sacrifice powerful and memorable is the fact that he was willing to stopthe game, willing to cut off an arm, all for the person he cared most about inthe entire world.

Juzo’s loyalty is tragicbecause it’s his primary character trait, both his strongest advantage and hisgreatest weakness. It’s tragic because he was loyal to someone who ultimatelynever felt the same way about him, who doubted him and suspected him and neveronce really had those same feelings towards him. His sacrifice to end thekilling game isn’t supposed to be taken as some selfless gesture for the group—it’sa gesture meant for Munakata only, and Munakata still arrives too late, unableto really understand or appreciate the lengths Juzo went for him.

I would hesitate to say Juzowas seeking redemption with his actions. Atonement, perhaps, but redemptionimplies receiving recognition and forgiveness from everyone he ever wronged.And there’s none of that with Juzo. Juzo’s hot temper, his excessive violence,and his pettiness are never excused by the narrative or played off as somecutesy character trait. If anything, the reason he saved Naegi is because he’sstill as angry and petty as ever.

He didn’t save Naegi for anygrand, overarching ideal. He didn’t do it because he wound up agreeing withNaegi’s idea of “hope,” or anything like that. No, in the end, Juzo saved Naegionly because he was angry at him—for having defeated Junko where Juzo keptquiet about her, for reminding him constantly of the ways in which he fuckedup, of his own role in the way the world is now.

By dr3, Naegi was essentiallyrevealed as some grand savior who stopped the Big Bad Enoshima Junko and herdespair with his platitudes about hope. For him to just give up and die supereasily from the same despair-brainwashing video that killed everyone else wasthe biggest anticlimax—it was anticlimactic and pathetic enough that it pissedJuzo off, and that’s why he savedNaegi.

This is also perhaps a bitoff-topic to the subject, but I’ve always been curious as to why people actedlike Juzo was more irredeemable for being violent and reckless and punchingpeople early on in dr3 than many characters who have actually committed murderor other atrocities. DR is a series about murder and death and killing—and yetJuzo was immediately deemed a more unforgivable, awful monster than characterswho have killed without any remorse whatsoever. I suspect it has something todo with the fact that many people were mostly angry about who Juzo was punching or kicking, rather than the fact that he wasviolent and reckless in general.

After all, without knowingalmost anything about Mitarai or his character, people were very up in arms about Juzo kicking himin episode 2 of Future Arc, because he seemed cute, innocent, and everyone waspegging him for an “innocent cinnamon roll.” People then said that this wasbecause Juzo got killed Bandai killed by violating his NG code—but it’s not asif Juzo did it intentionally knowing that Bandai couldn’t witness any violence.He was just as surprised as everyone else when Bandai died. But I stilldistinctly remember people bending over backwards to say that this automaticallymeant Juzo was the worst character in the franchise, despite the fact thatthere are many DR characters who have intentionally done much worse.

As for the final part of yourask, about Juzo “letting Junko end the world”… Haha, I guess this is somethingyou could probably only understand if you can relate with Juzo on a personallevel. If you honestly blame him more for Junko’s actions than Junko herself, Idon’t really know what to tell you. What Junko did to him was blackmail. It wasinsidious, horrible, and the absolute worst-case scenario for Juzo. It was “despair.”If you can’t understand the fear of being outed, especially to the person you careabout the most, then you’re probably very lucky, anon.

As someone who is gay andsomeone who has been outed to abusive family, I can say that it goes beyondjust normal fear. Gay people aren’t afraid of being outed to their friends andcrushes and family because “oh no, someone will know that I’m gay.” We’reafraid of being outed because there is always a chance that people we loved andtrusted will immediately turn on us when they know, will look at us and call us“monsters,” “evil,” “sinful”—all of which I actually did have thrown at me whenmy family found out.

Juzo wasn’t afraid of much, buthe was afraid of Munakata finding outand recoiling from him, disowning him as a friend, wanting nothing to do withhim anymore. Not knowing how Munakata felt was preferable because it meant henever had to face the “what-if” possibility of Munakata finding out andtreating him like he was “disgusting” for it. If that had happened, that wouldtruly have been “despair” for him.

He was blackmailed andpressured and manipulated into keeping quiet about Junko the same way thatJunko either manipulated or intimidated or brainwashed everyone into keepingquiet and doing what she said. It makes absolutely no sense, in my opinion, tohold Juzo more accountable for “letting Junko end the world” when Junko is theone who did it. And to be entirely honest, if Junko hadn’t been having so muchfun holding that threat over Juzo’s head and seeing his reactions, she would’vejust killed him. The only reason she let him live was to make him sufferfurther—but if he had seemed like he would’ve told Munakata regardless (andJunko could’ve predicted if he would’ve, I have no doubt), then she wouldn’thave let him leave those school grounds alive.

This has gotten pretty long,but I hope I’ve been able to summarize my thoughts pretty well. Juzo is mythird-favorite character in the franchise for many reasons. He’s well-written,his flaws and mistakes are never downplayed by the narrative or turned into anendearing character trait, and I can relate with him on a very personal level.I was overjoyed when he was confirmed gay, even moreso when it wasn’t played asa joke or retconned in future episodes. Dr3 didn’t contribute much to thefranchise overall, but Juzo was at least one really incredible character tocome out of it. Thanks for asking, anon!