#i've never dated a terrible man and i think that immediately rids me of a lot of relatable life experiences

[dollsome-does-tumblr]

i decided to try to watch sex and the city from the beginning and i think the reason i struggle with this show is that it's always like "ladies, you know how [insert thing that's supposed to be relatable here]?" and i'm always just like, "........... no"

[average-dilf-enjoyer]

KINKTOBER

Day 5: Virginity + Joel Miller (The Last of Us)

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

Rating: Explicit

Word count: 2.7K

Warnings: Oral (f receiving), PIV sex, fingering, lots of pet names, insecure reader, pre-outbreak Joel

A/N: Sorry I've been late with writing! I had really busy few days. When I get the time I'm gonna do multiple fics in one day over a couple of days to catch up, just bear with me for a week or so while I get back on schedule

——————————————————————————

You didn’t know what the hell you were thinking, letting Joel take you to his place. It was a terrible idea, really. Because you knew you wouldn't be able to stop once you started.

But you let him drag you inside anyways. You let him push you up against the door and kiss you hard and deep, and you nodded when he pulled away to whisper, "Is this okay?" because as much as it terrified you, you fucking needed Joel Miller.

You also didn't protest when Joel brought you to his bedroom, laying you down on his sheets and kissing you over and over again.

"Joel," you whispered against his lips, trying to get his attention. He didn't answer, just kept pressing kisses to your lips. "Joel," you mumbled again. Another kiss. You pressed your hands into his chest, pushing him off you. "Joel."

"Yeah, baby?" he cooed, cupping your face in his hand and swiping his thumb tenderly across your cheekbone.

"I need to tell you something, but you gotta promise not to laugh," you muttered nervously. What if he thought you were weird?

"Can't promise that if I don't know what it is," he said, that gorgeous smile of his on full display. "But I'll try my best, honey." He leaned down to press a gentle kiss to the space below your ear. "What's on your mind?"

"Um..." Stupid. It was fucking stupid. Twenty-six years old, and you were still a virgin. The whole thing was so dumb. You'd had boyfriends before Joel, and you easily could have lost your virginity to any of them, but you didn't want to. You were scared, to be honest. Not to say that you weren't still fucking terrified, but you had a feeling Joel would be good to you. "I... damn it."

"Take your time, honey..." Joel murmured, lightly kissing at your neck and rubbing your sides in a soothing motion.

You took a deep breath, steeling yourself, and then blurted it out before you could think about it any more. "I'm a virgin."

Joel immediately lifted his head to look you in the eyes. He could see the fear in them, and he wanted nothing more than to get rid of it. "Oh, honey," he sighed. "You should've told me sooner, I would've taken things slower. We can stop if you want. Don't gotta go any further if you ain't ready."

"No, no, I want to," you assured him. You really did, as much as it scared you. If anyone was going to take your virginity, you wanted it to be Joel.

"You sure, darlin'?" he asked, concerned. "We don't need to do anything toni-"

You cut him off with a kiss. "I want it. I want you," you whispered. "Please, Joel."

Joel groaned, kissing your jaw. "Fuck, honey. Gonna be the death of me, I swear." His hands moved to the hem of your shirt. "Can I take this off?"

You nodded. "Yeah." You'd never done this before, let a man see you like this. And even though you wanted Joel to see, you were still nervous. Insecurity flooded you, suddenly all too aware of each of your flaws.

Joel seemed to sense your nervousness, because he stopped. "You alright there, honey?"

You sighed. "Yeah, just... never done this before, y'know?"

Joel nodded. "You don't gotta be nervous, I gotcha. You just relax."

"Okay," you mumbled. You had to remind yourself that this was Joel. The man that didn't kiss you on the first date out of respect. The man who made time for you even if he had a long day at work. The man who told you how beautiful you were every time he saw you.

"Okay," Joel agreed with a soft smile. "You wanna leave the shirt on, then? Don't gotta show me, but let me tell ya sugar, I'd fuckin' love to see what's hidin' under it."

You shook your head. "No, you- you can, I want you to.”

“Alright. Tell me if you’re uncomfortable with anything I do, okay?” he asked as his fingers began pulling your shirt up your lower stomach.

“I will,” you breathed, lifting your arms to help him slide the shirt over your head.

“Good girl,” Joel cooed, his hands moving to your now bare torso, rubbing his hands along the skin. “Shit, you’re gorgeous, honey.”

“Joel…” you giggled, squirming as his hands brushed along your sensitive skin. “That tickles.”

“Oh yeah?” he growled playfully, his hands purposefully tickling you now.

You laughed and smacked his hands away. “Joel!”

“Alright, I’ll stop. But only ‘cause I like ya,” he joked, pressing a kiss to your cheek. “Can I take off your bra? Wanna see your beautiful tits.”

“You haven’t seen them yet, how do you know they’re beautiful?” you quipped.

“Because every part of you is beautiful, baby,” Joel whispered, and you just about melted on the spot. He was so sweet, so gentle, so Joel, and you could barely handle it.

“Honey…” you breathed. “Please. I want you to see me. I trust you.” And you did. You trusted him more than you had ever trusted any other man. You trusted him with this precious part of yourself nobody else had ever had the privilege of seeing before. You trusted him to take your virginity.

“I told you, I gotcha. You don’t gotta worry about a thing when you’re in my bed, you got that?” Joel said as he unclasped your bra, gently sliding it off your arms and discarding it on the floor with your shirt.

“I know,” you agreed with a nod of your head. “You got me.”

“Oh, sweetheart…” Joel breathed, completely in awe of you. “So fuckin’ perfect. I don’t deserve ya, I really don’t.”

You giggled. “Are you kidding? I don’t deserve you. You’re the sweetest man I’ve ever met.”

“Darlin’ you deserve every good thing in this world and then some,” Joel sighed, his hands moving to rest just below your breasts. “Can I..?”

You nodded eagerly. “Yes.” You had never wanted so badly for a man to touch you until now. You felt like you would explode if you had to wait even another minute.

His hands gently, tentatively rested over your breasts, his thumbs swiping over your hardened nipples. “So soft…” he murmured, lightly squeezing them. He smiled when you sucked in a sharp breath. “Doin’ okay?”

“Yeah, yeah. Feels good.” He was so gentle with you, soft and sweet as his hands kneaded at your chest. “Don’t stop.”

“I won’t,” he assured you, moving to kiss at your shoulder. “‘M gonna try somethin’, tell me if it feels good.”

“Okay,” you breathed, waiting for whatever he was planning for you with bated breath. You couldn’t imagine that whatever he was about to do wouldn’t feel good. You were quickly proven right when Joel took one of your nipples between his fingers and lightly pinched it. “Oh, fuck-“

“Good?” He mumbled, his mouth never leaving your skin.

“Very. Do it again,” you insisted, and he huffed a laugh against your shoulder.

“As you wish, darlin’.” One of his hands continued to play with your nipple while the other drifted from your breast to your hip, holding you to him while he toyed with you.

“Shit,” you panted, tingles of pleasure coursing through you. “Joel, oh my God.”

“I had a feelin’ you’d like that,” he whispered, his kisses moving from your shoulder, down, down-

“Fuck!” you yelped when he pulled your other breast into his mouth, tongue swirling around the sensitive skin. “Feels so good, Joel, don’t stop,” you begged, running one hand through his hair while the other grasped at the bedsheets.

And he didn’t. He sucked and licked and touched and didn’t stop for one moment, playing with your body and pulling sounds you didn’t even know you could make from your mouth.

"Wanna see what's under these jeans,” he begged, and you took his hand and guided it to the waistband of your pants.

“Please,” you whispered, sounding almost embarrassingly needy, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to worry about that when he was touching you like this.

His hands eagerly pulled at the waistband of your jeans, tugging them down along with your panties. He had to have you, he couldn’t fucking wait any longer. “Fuuuck…” he groaned, his eyes drinking you in as you laid completely bare under him. “Gotta taste you, baby. Will ya let me? Let me lick your pretty pussy till you’re comin’ on my face?”

You swore you nearly came right then. “Yes, fuck, whatever you want, honey,” you panted as he kissed down your body, stopping just below your belly button.

“You sure?” he rasped against your skin. One last chance to back out.

“Yes. I need you, please, Joel.” You were desperate, clenching around nothing.

He positioned himself right between your legs, looking directly at your bare heat. "Y'know, I think it's kinda hot that you're a virgin, if ya don't mind me sayin'," Joel mused as his hands grasped your hips, tugging you closer.

"Why?" How could he possibly find that attractive? A whole-ass adult woman who's never been laid? What was hot about that?

"Because, darlin', I get to be the first one to see how beautiful you look when you come, and I get to be the first to touch this pretty pussy," Joel explained, kissing your inner thighs. "Pretty goddamn special, bein' a woman's first."

"Oh," you breathed, lost for words.

"Yeah," he whispered, pressing a soft kiss to your clit.

You gasped, bucking into his touch. “Oh my God,” you whined.

Hearing you whimper like that, Joel had to restrain himself from completely devouring you. ‘Go slow,’ he reminded himself as he licked a stripe up your slit. “Taste like fuckin’ candy, sweetheart,” he groaned, kitten licking at your clit.

You fisted your hand in his hair, lightly tugging on it, and he let out a low grumble of approval. Of course he liked getting his hair pulled.

“Just like that, fuck,” you moaned as he circled your clit with his tongue.

He continued like that, driving you closer to the brink of ecstasy with each passing moment. He ate you like a man starved, his eyes never leaving you as he took in your reactions to what he was doing, learning what you liked best.

"F-fingers. Please," you whimpered, and he obliged without hesitation, sliding his middle finger into you.

His ring finger followed not long after, pumping in and out of you. Oh God, his fingers were so much longer, so much thicker than yours. He started slow as he let you get used to the feeling, but he quickly sped up, relishing in your moans as he crooked his fingers into you, hitting that spot that had you seeing stars.

"J-Joel, I'm gonna come," you managed to get out between pants, the feeling of his tongue on your clit and his fingers inside you overwhelming in the best way possible.

"Go ahead, honey, I wanna feel it," he groaned, his movements not letting up for even a moment as he brought you closer and closer to your release.

A moment later he had you coming on his tongue just he had promised, licking up your release as your thighs trembled around his head. “Holy shit,” you gasped, affectionately running your hand through his hair as he finally took his mouth off your pussy, instead settling for kissing your inner thighs as you came down from your high.

“Good?” he asked with a knowing smirk.

“Amazing,” you corrected him as you bent forward to kiss him, tasting yourself on his tongue. You moaned softly into his mouth as he laid you back, once again climbing on top of you.

"Good to hear," he said gently, running his hand down your body from your chest to your pussy, running a finger through your slick folds. "You gonna let me fuck ya, honey?"

"Yeah." You couldn't wait any longer, any fear you might have felt overwhelmed by lust and need.

He nodded, grabbing a condom from his bedside drawer and sliding it over himself. “Okay. You tell me if you need me to stop, you got it?"

"I know. Just... please, Joel."

And, well, how could he resist that?

"Gonna go nice and slow, alright pretty girl?" he mumbled as he lined himself up with your entrance. "Don't wanna hurt you."

"You won't," you assured him, leaning up to kiss him.

He kissed you back sweetly, gently grasping your hips for leverage and slowly pushing the tip of him into you.

You whimpered against his lips at the burn of him stretching you open in a way you never had been before.

"I know, baby," he whispered, peppering your face with kisses. "You're doin' good. Doin' so good, honey."

"Ow," you hissed as he pushed deeper, ever so slowly.

"Need me to stop?" he asked, his eyes not leaving yours as he gauged your response.

You shook your head. "No, just... keep going slow."

“Okay.”

After a minute of pushing slightly into you, stopping when you dared make a noise to check that you were still doing okay, and then moving a little more, he was finally fully sheathed within you. And it felt fucking incredible.

“Oh, Joel…” you moaned. You felt full in a way you never had before, feeling like you could barely breathe as you adjusted to Joel’s cock inside you.

“Pretty girl…” he whispered, brushing his hand across your cheek. “You feel so good. Fit me like a goddamn glove.”

You giggled and leaned up to kiss him, running a hand through his hair. “Move,” you insisted, needing more of him.

He only hummed in response, his lips staying latched onto yours as he pulled out almost entirely and slowly pushed back into you. He just repeated that for a while, letting you get used to it all, and eventually the burn faded. You bucked your hips forward. “More, Joel.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he mumbled, his thrusts picking up speed as he pulled away from your lips to look you in the eyes.

“Baby,” he gasped, his brows furrowing in concentration. “Tell me, s’it feel good? Am I makin’ my girl feel good?”

“Yes, fuck, don’t stop.”

“I won’t, sugar,” he grunted, pressing deep into you and slowing his pace to a roll of his hips, and it had you seeing stars. “Won’t stop until you’re comin’ all over me.”

Joel held true to his word, never letting up as you writhed and whimpered under him, that familiar knot of pleasure building inside you.

“Joel- fuck, need your fingers.” You were so close. His fingers on your clit would have you coming undone around him in seconds.

He answered with a low groan, his hand reaching down to rub tight circles onto your clit.

“Oh, fuck!” You were nearly shouting now, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to care. Your head fell to the side, your eyes fluttering shut.

“Shit, you’re squeezin’ me, honey. You gonna come?”

You nodded eagerly, grasping at his shoulders.

“Look at me, wanna see that pretty face when ya come,” Joel cooed, cupping your face in his hand.

You met his desperate, hungry gaze and that was all you needed to fall over the edge, moaning his name as pleasure overcame you.

He fucked you through it until he couldn’t anymore, seating himself deep inside you as he came a moment later.

You gazed at each other silently as you came down from your highs, sweaty and sated. You stayed like that for a moment before he pulled out of you, discarding the condom in the garbage.

“How’re you feelin’ sweet girl?” Joel finally asked.

“Incredible,” you sighed, your body relaxing into the mattress.

Joel crawled back into bed, leaning in to kiss you. “Glad it was good for you.”

“Of course it was good,” you whispered, running a hand along his chest. “And for the record, you’re amazing at oral,” you added.

He chuckled. “Why, thank you, sugar.”

You were asleep not ten minutes later, and as Joel looked down at your sleeping figure, he felt peace for the first time in years.

[waitimcomingtoo]

Hi love! I've had this idea for a bit and I think it would be perfect in the same universe of your plank all over me one shots! Okay do you remember that interview where Conor Maynard planked Tom with the fake interviewer?? What if Tom tried to do the same thing to prank y/n but as soon as the fake interviewer walks in she immediately knows what's happening so then gives super weird answers or tries to mess with tom in all the answers she gives?? You don't have to do it if you don't want to tho!

Plank All Over Me - Prank Interview Edition

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Synopsis: Tom and Connor Maynard try to prank you, but you prank then right back

Disclaimer: you don’t have to have read the others to understand, but check them out ;)

Plank All Over Me

Plank All Over Me - Yoga Edition

Plank All Over Me - Couples Tag

Masterlist

“What’s going on guys? It’s Conor Maynard here and I’m joined by an old friend of mine.” Conor pointed to Tom.

“Tom Holland.” Tom smiled at the camera.

“You May have heard of him, probably not. He’s not very well known.” Conor joked.

“I know, mate. I’m so lucky you’re putting me on your channel. Could be my big break.” Tom replied.

“My other friend Josh Pieters is in the other room with Toms girlfriend, the incredibly famous and lovely Y/n L/n. If you’ve seen my video where Josh, Casper and I pranked Tom with a fake interview, you already know what’s about to go down. If you don’t, Josh has an AirPod in under his headband. We’re going to be giving him things to say and he has to say them to Y/n. We’re gonna try to really freak her out. Are you ready Tom?”

“Very ready. Y/n, I love you pretty girl but you had this coming.” Tom rubbed his hands together. 

“Looks like she’s in the room. Introduce yourself.” Conor instructed. “But make it uncomfortable.”

“Hi, I’m Josh but you can call me Josh.” Josh said with a blank stare. You vaguely recognized the boy interviewing you but you couldn’t pinpoint where he was from.

“Oh uh, hi Josh.” You laughed lightly. “I’m Y/n.”

“Tell her you had a pet called Y/n and something terrible happened to it.” Conor snickered.

“I had a fish called Y/n when I was younger.” Josh informed you.

“Aw, that’s sweet.” You smiled.

“Yeah. It was my best friend until my brother swallowed it alive.” He said with no emotion.

“Oh.” You replied, not knowing what else to say. You began to sense something was off. He was wearing a headband, for one, and he didn’t look like he normally wore them. Someone was up to something.

“Even more uncomfortable.” Tom ordered.

“I’m a big fan so it’s very nice to meet you.” Josh said. “A huge fan actually, if you know what I mean.” Josh gave you a wink and you swallowed thickly. It suddenly dawned on you where you knew him from. He was Josh Pieters, the YouTuber who pranked Tom. You’d seen a number of his prank videos with Casper Lee and Joe Sugg and had a feeling that this one would be no different. If he wanted to prank you, you’d give him a taste of his own medicine.

“Not that uncomfortable!” Tom said.

“Thank you, I appreciate that.” You answered, preparing to have a little fun.

“Be normal. Ask her about the Marvel making Eddie a girl.” Conor said.

“For those who don’t know, the character Eddie Brock, who later gets infected with the symbiote Venom, is a male in the comics. How do you feel about Marvel changing the role to be played by a woman after your audition?” Josh asked. You thought about your answer for a moment.

“I think it was a really dumb move, actually. I originally auditioned for the role of Anne, who’s Eddie Brocks girlfriend. I think they should’ve kept Eddie a boy since women are weak, useless creatures and I hate them all.” You answered matter-of-factly and Josh looked a little taken aback. You nodded as if it confirm your answer and Josh looked lost.

“Oh.” Josh said and leaned to the side as if he were listening to something you couldn’t hear.

“I’m kidding. I love that they made Eddie a girl. I was so excited when they called me and told me who I was playing.” You followed up. You didn’t want them to catch on too soon that you were messing with them. You had to dial it down.

“Ask about the Spider-Man/Venom relationship.” Conor told Josh.

“And me. Ask about me.” Tom added.

“If it fun getting to play Tom Holland’s on screen girlfriend as well as being his in real life girlfriend?” Josh asked you and you smirked. So Tom was behind this as well. Now was your time to really mess with them.

“Not really, if I’m honest.” You answered.

“What?” Conor laughed.

“What?” Tom deadpanned.

“Really?” Josh asked while stifling a laugh.

“It’s just, there are so many attractive men in the Marvel cast, Tom included don’t get me wrong.” You assured him. “I kinda wish they let me date one of them on screen since I already date Tom off screen.”

“Ask her who she’d want to date.” Tom demanded, watching you with hooded eyes.

“Who do you wish you were dating?” Josh asked you.

“Definitely Chris Evans.” You answered too quickly for Toms liking. “Oh, did you mean what character?”

“I’m gonna die. I’m actually going to perish.” Tom backed away from the microphone and covered his mouth with his hands.

“Keep going. Ask more about Tom.” Conor instructed.

“But you like working with Tom, right?” Josh tried to bring the conversation to a positive point.

“Again, not really.” You shrugged.

“Interesting.” Josh stated, silently begging for the boys to tell him what to say. No one was prepared for your answers.

“Ask why.” Conor said as Tom fanned himself in the background.

“Can you elaborate on that?” Josh asked.

“It’s just weird acting along side your boyfriend. I think he should leave the acting me to, honestly.” You smiled innocently, knowing Tom was somewhere freaking out.

“Do you think he’s bad?” Tom grabbed them microphone.

“Do you think he’s bad?” Josh repeated.

“Well, he’s very attractive. I’m sure that was a big factor in getting the part. But his American accent…”, you made a face, “not the best. Being from New York is such a big part of Peter Parker that I feel like Marvel should’ve gone with an American actor. No offense to Tom, of course. He’s great in all his other movies.”

“Wow.” Josh squeaked.

“She told me she loves my American accent.” Tom whispered, bewildered.

“Ask her about her favorite accent.” Conor tried to lighten the mood.

“Do you like British accents better?” Josh asked you.

“I’ll tell you what I like. Chris Hemsworth’s accent.” You gushed. “I think it’s the hottest thing ever.”

“Did you guys hear that?” Tom asked gravely.

“Hear what?” Conor asked him.

“My heart shattering.” Tom answered.

“Tom, it’s just an accent. It’s okay.” Conor assured his friend. Tom couldn’t even hear him anymore. He grabbed the microphone with a heavy hand.

“Ask her if she likes Australians better than the British.” He demanded.

“You think Australian accents are better than British accents?” Josh repeated Toms question.

“Is that even a question? Duh.” You laughed.

“I can’t breath.” Tom wheezed.

“I do like your accent, though.” You said, catching everyone off guard.

“She what?” Tom asked. “What?”

“Oh, thank you.” Josh said, beginning to panic.

“Where are you from?” You asked, leaning forward on your hands.

“South Africa.” Josh told you and you smiled brightly and you continued your plan.

“Wait, really? That’s so exciting. I’ve always wanted to go there.” You beamed.

“Since when?” Conor looked up at Tom.

“She’s never said anything about South Africa.” Tom said in confusion.

“It’s a beautiful place.” Josh agreed.

“I bet. England is so dreary.” You rolled your eyes. “Maybe you can take me to South Africa one day.”

“Maybe.” Josh nodded as he tried to send messages in Morse code by blinking rapidly at the camera. You smirked, knowing your plan was working.

“Change the subject, Josh. Before Tom dies.” Conor ordered.

“Ask her about the wallpaper.” Tom blurted.

“Why the wallpaper?” Conor asked.

“It’s the least romantic topic I could think of!” Tom exclaimed.

“So, this is some really nice wallpaper, wouldn’t you agree?” Josh changed the subject. This threw you off a little but you were determined to win this prank.

“I was just thinking that! You read my mind.” You said excitedly.

“That backfired.” Conor said as he watched Tom fall to the floor in agony.

“Your name is Josh right?” You asked coyly.

“Yes ma’am.” Josh answered.

“I love that name.” You complimented. “I always have.”

“Do you?” Josh’s mouth dried up.

“Totally. It’s so exotic.” You beamed. Toms head snapped up from the floor.

“Exotic? There is a white boy named Josh in every high school movie ever made.” Tom exclaimed. “Exotic compared to what? Toast?”

“Thank you. I like it too.” Josh said awkwardly, wishing the boys would give him something to say.

“It’s so much better than a white bread name like Tom. Who names their kid Tom? What is he, an apostle?” You laughed. “Josh is way cooler in my opinion. It’s like the name of a god or something.”

“A god?” Tom nearly screamed. “What would Josh be the god of?”

“Gingers.” Conor shrugged.

“Thank you.” Josh said and gave the camera a stern glare.

“Tell her about your quail.” Conor suggested.

“That’s perfect. She’ll think he’s a total weirdo! Great thinking Conor.” Tom patted his friend on the back.

“Not exactly my plan, but okay.” Connor nodded.

“Do you have any pets?” Josh began his segway.”

“I do. I have a dog named Tessa.” You answered. “She’s not really my dog, though. She’s Tom’s.”

“I know you’re an animal person. You must love her.” Josh smiled now that the prank was back on track.

“Honestly, I can’t stand her. She’s always sleeping in our bed with us and begging at the table. I’m this close to telling Tom to get rid of her.” You pinched your fingers together and watched Josh go pale.

“That was it. That was the thing that killed me.” Tom mumbled as he slumped in a chair.

“Talk about the quail!” Conor repeated in an effort to save Tom.

“I have a pet too. It’s a quail.” Josh told you proudly.

“A quail? How did you get a quail?” You asked with a smile.

“Well my friends and I bought a carton of quail eggs and put them in an incubator. Only one hatched but I’ve kept her as a pet.” Josh told you the infamous story. You’d seen the video he posted about it but decided to play dumb.

“You saved a quail? That’s amazing.” You gushed as if you’d never heard the story before.

“It was just a fun thing for YouTube but I’ve actually grown quite fond of her.” Josh said, beginning to enjoy the interview.

“That’s the mosh amazing story I’ve ever herad.” You swore. “You’re a hero. A real life hero.”

“Okay. He put a carton of eggs in a hot box. He’s not Mother Theresa.” Tom pouted.

“You and Tom should come over and meet her sometime.” Josh suggested.

“Good. Bring the conversation back to Tom.” Conor nodded.

“Yeah. I’m feeling better now.” Tom agreed.

“Tom doesn’t have time be there. It can just be you and I.” You said as you looked at him through your lashes. Josh looked panicked.

“Never mind.” Tom groaned, clenching his stomach.

“What’s your last name, Josh?” You asked as you twirled some hair around your finger.

“Pieters.” Josh informed you.

“Pieters? That’s so cute. I love the way it sounds. Can you imagine it with my name? Y/n Pieters.” You smiled. “Doesn’t that just sound effervescent?”

“It sounds lovely, Y/n.” Josh said, eyeing you strangely.

“Toms still dead but if he were alive right now, he’d be livid.” Conor sighed as he listened.

“I can hear it. And I am in fact livid.” Tom said from his newly claimed spot on the floor.

“You know who else’s last name sounds good on me? Osterfield.” You were pulling out all the guns now. “I think Y/n Osterfield sounds great. Don’t you agree?”

“Uhhh…” Josh feared for his life if he agreed.

“Don’t you dare agree.” Tom grumbled through the microphone.

“Say you like Y/n Holland best.” Conor suggested.

“That’s good. Say that.” Tom nodded.

“I think Y/n Holland sounds better than both of those.” Josh told you.

“You think?” You made a face. “I actually hate Toms last name. It doesn’t fit with anything. It’s too long.”

“Osterfield is longer.” Josh reminded you.

“I bet Osterfield is longer.” You said and winked at the camera. Tom caught the double meaning and started sweating profusely.

“Ask her if she plans to take my last name when we’re married.” Tom asked, fully panicking now.

“Are you gonna take his last name when you’re married?” Josh repeated.

“Yeah, like we’re getting married.” You laughed.

“She doesn’t want to marry me?” Tom asked, all anger draining from him. It was replaced with devastation and defeat.

“Ask her if she wants to marry Tom.” Conor said as he watched Toms fallen face carefully.

“You guys aren’t planning on getting married?” Josh asked, feeling himself beginning to sweat.

“We are.” You nodded and Tom sighed in relief. “To other people.” You added.

“She killed me and now she’s beating my corpse with a phone book.” Tom said in exasperation.

“Try to change the subject again away from marriage.” Conor pleaded for Toms sake.

“Your hair looks really nice today.” Josh blurted.

“That’s not helping!” Tom shouted.

“Thank you! I really like your hair too. I totally have a thing for gingers.” You nodded.

“Said no one ever!” Tom scoffed.

“Abandon that conversation immediately. New plan! Ask her what her favorite thing about Tom is.” Conor shrugged.

“Speaking of Tom, whats your favorite thing about him?” Josh asked, ignoring the insult from Tom.

“My favorite thing about Tom? That’s easy.” You smiled and Tom did too. “He always puts the toilet seat down after he’s done. I hate when boys leave it up. So, probably that.”

“Her favorite thing about me is how I put the toilet seat down?” Tom asked with a blank stare.

“Ask her something else about him. He’s dying, Josh. He’s on his last leg.” Conor begged.

“Finish this sentence: my boyfriend gives the best…” Josh began.

“Kisses.” You gushed. Josh looked at the camera for approval and he heard Tom sigh happily into the microphone. “Just kidding, he gives the best directions. He’s really good at giving people directions. His kisses are lack luster, but I’m sure that doesn’t surprise anyone.”

“Ask her what in the the absolutely, positively, burning, bloody hell that meant?” Tom quipped.

“Why not?” Josh asked you.

“Do I have to say it?” You asked.

“Make her say it.” Tom ordered.

“Yes.” Josh nodded.

“No lips.” You shrugged.

“Can’t argue with her on that one, mate.” Conor told Tom.

“Can you get her to say one nice thing about me before my ghost ascends into heaven?” Tom sighed in defeat.

“What do you love about him? There must be something, right? Why else would you be together?” Josh asked you. You decided it was time to let up.

“There is something I love about Tom.” You smiled dreamily.

“Thank God.” Tom said, leaning forward to hear you clearly.

“Finally.” Conor after.

“Really? What is it?” Josh asked.

“What I really, truly love about Tom,” you smiled at the camera, “is how he thinks he can prank me better than I can prank him.”

“What?” Josh laughed as he realized you’d be toying with him.

“Wait, what?” Tom stuttered.

“What?” Conor asked at the 50th turn the video had taken.

“Come on, Josh. I smelt BS as soon as I walked in here.” You declared. “You think I haven’t seen Conners video where you pranked Tom exactly like this? You boys must think I’m dumb.”

“Wait a minute, she what? What?” Tom tried to wrap his head around what he was hearing.

“Would you look at that.” Conor said, dumbfounded.

“You knew it was a prank and you let us believe we were pranking you this entire time?” Josh asked, not bothering to hide how impressed he was.

“Yup.” You popped the p.

“Come on.” Tom pulled Connor out of the room and ran to where you and Josh were. You burst out laughing when you saw Toms red face.

“Ha! I knew I’d get you.” You clapped as you pulled Tom into a hug. “You should’ve known better than to challenge me. You know they call me Prank Sinatra.”

“No one calls you that.” He mumbled as his cheeks flamed up in embarrassment that you’d gotten him so good.

“Modern day Prank Ocean.” You shrugged smugly.

“How did you know it was a prank?” Conor asked you.

“I watch you and Josh all the time. I know a prank when I see one. I got you guy so good, thinking I liked the name Josh and all that.” You said triumphantly.

“Hey.” Josh warned.

“Sorry.” You apologized.

“So all your answers were…” Tom began.

“Complete and utter lies?” You finished. “Why yes, yes they were. Every last one.”

“You made all that up? All that stuff about my accent and not liking to work with me?” He asked hopefully, needing to hear you confirm it.

“Obviously! When do I ever say “effervescent”? You should’ve known I was only joking, lover.” You assured him as you pressed a kiss to his lips. “I’d never say that stuff. I love your accent and I love working with you.

“And the marriage stuff?” He said softly. You knew you took it a little too far with that one.

“If you want that to happen, you know what to do.” You shrugged casually and he blushed.

“I cannot believe you pranked us this badly. I feel so defeated.” Conor sighed.

“You shouldn’t have challenged the queen of pranks.” You told him as Tom presses kissed of relief to your cheek.

“Wait, what about what you said about wanting to date Chris Evans?” He remembered.

“Thanks for watching everybody! Bye!” You said to the camera before running out of the room.

“Wait! You didn’t answer my question!” Tom said as he ran after you.

“Don’t forget to subscribe!” You shouted from the hallway.

“What she said.” Conor smiled again the camera before turning it off.

Tag List 🏷

@maybemona @foreverxholland @writing-for-hours-on-end @lavender-writer @captainmandeestudent17 @whatareyouhidingpeter @takenbyheartstrings @ultrunning @imyourliquor-youremypoison @theolwebshooter @andreasworlsboring101 @guksmyfav @waiting-to-be-myself @letsloveimagines @ho-ho-holland @peterparkoure @a-villain-vying-for-attention @m19friend @justcallmehitgirl @averyfosterthoughts @jackiehollanderr @tiny-friggin-human @celestial-skylines @loveat2am @mara-twins @iamaunicorn4704 @delicately-important-trash @mjspxrker @spideygirl2003 @the-crazy-fanfictionist @kii-mii @maryjanee23 @spacebitch2 @vgiselle @geeksareunique

[classy-mc]

His little Detective. Chapter 1 - A new case

Hello to whoever finds this story!

It's my first time writing and publishing a story like this, but I've been itching to put my own ( though not so original) ideas and writing out for others to ( hopefully) enjoy. So I hope you enjoy.

Thoughts and criticism is good so I would love to hear them. Thank you!

The streets were as busy as always,  full of all sorts of people.  Business men hurrying home from work, couples going out for a date night, groups of friends going to bars to get the casual glass of whiskey or wine, or people who just wanted to go out for a stroll. 

Nari was heading back home,  her heels clicking with each step she took on the sidewalk. The woman didn't stand out too much.  Short black hair,  focused yet sharp grey eyes,  her clothes classy and sharp as well.  She was going home,  her thoughts in an excited knot.  

It's been months since she got her hands on such a good case and to celebrate - she also managed to get her hands on a few bottles of her favorite wine.  It would help her think. Nari wasn't a simple woman - she was a detective.  A pretty popular one at that.  It was only a matter of time till she got her hands on this particular case. 

She approached her apartment complex and headed up straight to the 3rd floor.  She know she would have to move soon - the complex was starting to get a little too crowded for her liking.  Pushing that thought aside she stopped at her door,  pulling out her keys and letting herself inside. 

Nari closed the door,  locking it as per usual. She shrugged off her coat and hung it onto the chair closest to her before she waltzed over to the kitchen.  Why?  To get her wine glass after all.  

After rewarding herself with a glass of wine,  she settled down on her couch and pulled out the case.  She opened it and smirked lightly. 

" Those idiots gave the case an interesting name for once?  It must be really special then " 

Mr. M

That's what they called it. The woman scanned her eyes through the evidence present in the case.  She had to admit - whoever was behind these crimes was a mastermind.  From breaking into banks like it was nothing to getting rid of tricky criminals in the city and leaving notes to tease the police officers on how incompetent they were.  Nova agreed.  Those idiots couldn't even get the simplest of cases solved without some help from her side.  

She lifted her glass of wine to her lips,  getting a taste of the fine liquid.  So far she was content with the evidence and case.  The suspects already were disappointing. Nari rolled her eyes and threw the case elegantly onto the coffee table in front of her. 

" Do they really think those men could be behind such brilliant crimes?  Oh please, those boys can't even tie their own shoelaces " She laughed to herself,  finishing her glass. 

Nari leaned back onto the couch,  thinking.  She had a lot of evidence so it would help get a few worthy suspects.  

Not today though.  While she got a case,  she also had a new headache - another reason for the wine. Being a detective - that was her side job,  she didn't even wish to call it that. Her real job?  Writing.  While she wasn't a worldwide known writer - she was known well in their city. 

Detective novels,  thriller type novels - that was her specialty. As skilled as Nari was,  she could only write about the things she knew well or,  in one way or another,  experienced them. 

The memory from a couple of days came to mind.  An email from a fan - asking for a romance novel. 

'How in the world will I write something like that?! ' The woman thought.  She never knew much about it,  nor did she care.  For all her 24 years of living - she never got attached to anyone. She didn't want to disappoint her fans so she replied with a simple ' I'll think about it's a mistake.  That was a mistake.  

With a sigh,  she refilled her glass,  emptying it almost immediately. She would get through this. She always did after all. 

Nari checked the time.  Almost 0:30 am.  A reasonable time to slip into bed.  She stood up,  leaving the case on the coffee table before taking her glass and half finished bottle of wine back to its place.  For safekeeping as she would like to say.  After taking care of that she did her usual routine. 

By the time she slipped into bed,  it was well past 1 am.  No big deal.  The woman smirked to herself,  leaving a silent threat in her mind to the criminal she would catch soon. 

'I'll catch you,  Mr. M.  And when I will, we will have a lovely chat ' 

With that - she drifted off to sleep. 

 ⌌⊱⇱⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⊰⌍⊱⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⇲⊰⌏

 In the early morning,  Nari woke up to her phone buzzing.  A text from a friend. With a soft groan,  she sat up,  taking it into her hands and seeing the message. 

°•Katie•°

Morning,  Nova.  Don't forget to eat something in the morning.  We all know how you forget those things when working on a case or a novel.  Good luck!  

The girl only chuckled. In true nature - her friend Katie left a usual morning message about eating.  It was true - she would forget most of the time. 

°•me•°

Of course.  Is Wine night still present?  

Wine night was their usual Friday night where the two girls would meet up at Nari's place and have a chat over a glass of wine.  Though Katie had a terribly low tolerance - it was still interesting and useful for them.  20 minutes of talking would be the most they would get usually. 

°•Katie•°

Yes!  I bought your favorite wine too so you'll have a blast. 

 °•me•°

 Wonderful.  See you on Friday. 

With Friday plans all set,  she got out of bed and dragged her feet over to the kitchen to get some needed breakfast. 

After managing to finish her simple meal and the cip of coffee she oh so desperately needed, she headed for her office. More work awaited her.

Meanwhile, in another spot in town, there sat a man in his office, waiting for a certain someone...and some certain information.

There was a knock on the solid wooden door and the man simply answered, his deep voice echoing through the room.

" Enter "

The door opened and a person walked in, holding the valued information he needed.

" I've gotten the information you wanted sir...and some interesting news too. Someone took up your case again "

Again? With a cold smirk, he raised his eyes to look at the henchman infornt of him.

" Oh really? Ans who is the new fool that decided to test their luck? "

" Its not a man this time. Its a woman. A famous detective in the city. " Replied the male , passing the boss the info.

" All you need to know is here soon "

His bright yellow eyes landed on the photo attached to the papers. He only let out a soft chuckle, before beginning to plan something in his mind.

" Lets see how far you can push your luck, my little detective...hopefully this will be more entertaining then the last time..."