#i've just been having some trouble with parts of it)
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Imagine that Mc, who makes fun of the brothers for being so dramatic when they don't see each other for a while, thinks that they are not like that when it comes to being away from them for a while. So for a reason like exam time, delivering a major project at work or whatever reason, Mc has to spend some time in the human world with hardly any contact with their demons. (If you like the temporality with respect to the original story this would happen after Mc can travel freely from one world to another, after season 4 of OM, when they gets used to being with their demons every day, even if it's only for 5 minutes).
One day
Mc: It is incredible that there can be so much silence and so much tranquility, ha, ha in the end this is going to be good for me.
Two days
Mc: Well, at this pace of work I'll finish ahead of schedule… not bad, but it's a little strange that nobody “bothers” you.
One week
Mc: *eating* I've made too much food… Beel is not here… well, I don't have to cook again for five days.
Two weeks
Mc: *sitting in the living room* How quiet…. what will they be doing?, I hope they didn't get into too much trouble….
One month
Mc: …
Mc: Damn, it's not normal to feel so sad if it's only been a month…*sighing* well I'm just as dramatic… I miss them…
Returning to the Devildom
Mc: *hugging the first demon they see*
Satan: Mc?
Mc: I missed you…
Satan: *blushing as he hugs them* Us too.
Mammon, Asmo and Levi appear running down the corridor and embrace Mc.
Mammon: You're back!!!!
Asmo: Oh, honey, I've missed you so, so much!!!
Levi: Don't go away again for so long ever, ever!!
Mc: *about to cry without understanding why* It's your fault!!! I can't live peacefully anymore if I don't have you around!!!!
Mammon: *moved* Mc!!!!
Mc: I hate you.
Asmo: We love you too, hon!!!
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I managed to fix my phone without losing my data!! 🎉 , so for a week I have been feeling a little bit like this, missing the guys, they are really part of my daily routine together with studying, work or doing chores, even if it's just 5 minutes to do the daily tasks. Anyway, all this to say that I'm back🩷.
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#obey me#obey me! shall we date?#obey me shall we date#omswd#obey me one master to rule them all#obey me!#obey me! one master to rule them all#shall we date obey me#obey me memes#obey me crack#obey me incorrect quotes#obey me otome#obey me mc#mc obey me#om! mc#omswd mc#om mc#obey me brothers#obey me mammon#mammon obey me#om! mammon#omswd mammon#obey me leviathan#leviathan obey me#om! leviathan#omswd leviathan#obey me asmo#asmo obey me#satan obey me#Obey me satan
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──── ୨ৎ THE BOOK CLUB — GRAYSON HAWTHORNE + READER ‧₊˚
a/n: pt two here we are!!! do i have any idea where this plot is going??? no. but you're along for the ride bitches so enjoy!! also if this is shit its bc im sleep deprived :)
[part one] i'm a fan
"it all happened so fast. everyone was happy... and then something happened... and now... now he's dead!" alya sobs from her spot on the couch.
"did you just spoil the book we're all reading together??" kira shrieks from her position on the mattress.
"i think the bitch actually just spoiled the entire book," pheobe rolls her eyes from underneath her blanket on the mattress next to kira's.
"oh come on you knew something like this was gonna happen!"
"yeah but i wasn't expecting it to be screamed aloud while i'm halfway through," kira says exasperated. "i mean please its not even five thirty yet, we got here an hour ago, how are you already finished?"
"alya, this is why we don't come over anymore," pheobe groans. "none of us were expecting that and now you've spoiled it."
"oh cry about it, i'm moving onto my next book anyway, does anyone want some snacks while i'm in the kitchen?" alya smiles nodding her head when kira requests some food and a bottle of water.
"so we're clearly never having a book club sleepover again guys," you say looking at the camera.
"no we're gonna have another," pheobe says shuffling over into the frame. "alya's just not invited."
────
yn.books
liked by alya.green, maxine.liu.loo, pheobethereader, kirasbooknook, graysonhawthorne and 672, 983 others
yn.books the book girlies unite!! for a sleepover a trip and a readathon (alya will not be invited back) stay tuned for the yt video!
tagged: alya.green, pheobethereader, kirasbooknook
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alya.green I AM OFFENDED
kirasbooknook good
pheobethereader had a lovely time with you girls can't wait to do it again (except for you alya)
alya.green u guys are so mean wtf
user1 im desperate to know why alya's in trouble lmaooo
user2 and im desperate to know why grayson is still in the likes
user3 THE GIRLIES ARE IN TEXAS I SAW THEN TODAY AND ASKED FOR A PHOTO!!!!
user4 they're in texas you say 😏😏
user5 divine rivals crushed me oh my goshhhh
graysonhawthorne divine rivals was a enticing read, thank you for the recommendation.
user6 ok so i died-
user7 OH OH OK SO WTF WHO WAS GONNA TELL ME GRAYSON IS HERE???
maxine.liu.loo the book girlies are together again!!! (invite me next time)
yn.books already done ;)
────
"they're mine," max's voice snips through the quiet of the room. she's staring directly at grayson and clearly referring to the book girls she watches.
"i'm not trying to steal anyone," grayson tries to reassure her.
"you're obsessed with my favorite one! why couldn't you have gone for pheobe or kira?" max huffs, you were her favorite. grayson had no right to become - rightfully - infatuated with you, and no matter how much he tries to deny it everyone can see he likes you. its painfully obvious.
"again i'm not stealing anyone, i've interacted like three times with-"
"grayson! the girl you're obsessed with posted another youtube video," jameson's extremely loud voice cuts through the room and emits a groan from grayson.
"i'm not obsessed with anyone," he says rising from his spot on the couch and picking up ruthless vows, which by the way he definitely went out and bought after he read divine rivals. what? he wanted to know what happened.
"oh my gosh they're in texas!!!" max screeches clearly watching the video. "they're in texas for a red carpet that they've been invited to!" she pauses watching for more conext. "they been invited to ask the people on the red carpet about books! oh my god- XANDER. we have to go to this event oh my gosh please?"
"sure and you can bring grayson along so he can officially join the book club, and meet his new idol," jameson smirks from the doorway
grayson responds by flipping him off.
────
graysonhawthorne
liked by thehawthorneheiress, ticking.time.bomb, yn.books, kirasbooknook and 4, 892, 647 others
graysonhawthorne a nice day out
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user1 i need him religiously
user2 NO BOOK THIS TIME???
user3 oh he is scrumptious isn't he
ticking.time.bomb i saw you obsessing over what photos to choose in case a certain someone saw this gray.....
user4 PLS TELL ME ITS WHO I THINK IT IS
thexanderhawthorne oh it is...
user4 OH MY GODDDD
user5 IN THE LIKES LOOK WHOS IN THE LIKES!!!!!!
user6 they're so into each other
alya.green we gotta catch up and talk about this whole situation buddy boy
user7 ALYA 😭💀
user8 i need him to go to the red carpet so they can meet!!!
────
maybe grayson should go to that red carpet... i mean he was invited. whats the worst that could happen?
𐔌 . ⋮ 🏷️ tags .ᐟ ֹ ₊ ꒱
@arqbella, @midiosaamor, @maybxlle @reminiscentreader, @sweetreveriee
@elysianwayy77 @tornqdowarnings, @catapparently, @zenikswaffleshop, @thelov3lybookworm
#ems writes ᯓ★#the inheritance games#the hawthorne legacy#the final gambit#the brothers hawthorne#the grandest game#grayson hawthorne#grayson davenport hawthorne#grayson hawthorne x fem!reader#grayson hawthorne x y/n#grayson hawthorne x you#grayson hawthorne x reader#grayson x reader#tig#thl#tfg#tbh#tgg
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*pops up and dusts off shoulder* Hi! Thanks for thinking of me. Love this topic. Dear as a corruption of the original deil but just within the song, I would think. It looks like it's a phonetic evolution. Basically, people misheard the similar-sounding words enough that this new version of the song emerged. Because it's a folk ballad, it was sung often enough and by so many varied people that its lyrics changed over time. It's sung as "dear" in the version of the song in the film, which I've seen and is lovely.
A more modern version of this same word corruption effect on a song would be the changes to Britney Spears' "Toxic." The actual, original, official lyric in that song was a taste of a poisoned paradigm but so many people heard a taste of a poisoned paradise instead that everyone involved-- including Britney Spears and the songwriters-- basically gave up on insisting that the original lyric be upheld. There have been subsequent, official versions where she sings paradise and the best cover of the song-- Scott Bradlee's Postmodern Jukebox feat. Melinda Doolittle's smoky and very Crowley & Aziraphale torch song rendition of it-- uses the paradise line. As someone who basically only likes this one Britney song and thought the original lyric was better, I find this all quite irritating. 😂
What's interesting about the language evolution/corruption in "I Know Where I'm Going" is that this word very much changes the tone and meaning of the song. It's a bit darker when it's referring to Satan and the fact that the song is referring to him is referencing a forbidden aspect to the romance-- one that could incur the wrath of The Devil. They know where they are going and they know who they love and who they'll marry-- and The Devil does, too.
Add it to the ever-growing list of suggestions that Satan is appearing to be The Metatron in The Final 15...
But when it evolves in the song to be "dear" instead of "deil" and to shake The Devil free from the song? Then, it becomes a love song about this person who is confident in their direction because they know who they love and who they'll marry and their dear-- the person they love-- knows it, too. It's this version of the song that is sung in the film.
The "I Know Where I'm Going" episode title seems to be emphasizing the influence of that film as a whole but likely by also confirming the main reference to it in S2, which is in the tartan hills as Aziraphale goes to Edinburgh. This comes from one of the best parts of the film and the way the show is using it is just... *happy sigh* I loved it so much. 😇 I don't want to spoil the film for anyone who hasn't seen it-- and give it a watch, it's great!-- so, I'm going to be a bit vague but hopefully, you'll see where I'm, well, going, with it. Some spoilers below.
The film is a love story-- a tone-shifting, genre-bending one at times, much like Good Omens. Its central character is a woman named Joan whose anxiety is hidden by her stubbornness and determinism, which has both positive qualities and negative ones. She believes she knows where she's going and has a plan to follow for her life and we watch as those plans get blown to smithereens by her running into trouble on her journey to a remote Scottish island to marry this horrible guy. On the way, she meets and falls in love with Torquil, the local laird and the person she'd be much better suited to marrying.
Torquil is the one who sees her there and they help each other to live a bit more and fall in love for most of the film. The bad weather conditions that have stranded Joan on the other side of island from where she's supposed to go marry this other guy finally clear near the end of the film and she has a choice to make: does she go through with her plan... or does she, for the first time, abandon her sense that she always knew where she was going and marry Torquil?
The tartan hills scene that is referenced in Good Omens comes from one of the most fun parts of the film-- the one that exists to show us Joan's rationale for why she's planning on marrying this other guy who is decades older than her that we already know she doesn't love (and whom we only hear, once, during the film, and never meet.) While Joan is on the train for the first leg of her long journey to this Scottish island, she falls asleep and has a dream that explains to the audience what she's thinking. Joan doesn't dream of her fiance himself at all. The man she's marrying owns the company she works for, which is called Consolidated Chemical, and is basically presented as this too big to fail energy juggernaut. During the dream, the phrase "it's all arranged" repeats with the rhythm of the chugging train wheels and her dream is about money and status but it's really about her own feelings of insecurity.
What makes Joan likable is that she doesn't truly desire money and status so much as she is awkward, has trouble making friends, is anxious, and wants security. She has mistaken economic security for emotional security. She doesn't like herself enough to believe that she should marry someone she loves. She wants to marry the company this guy owns-- not him-- because she thinks that will give her a position and a place and solve her problems of feeling insecure.
She spends most of the film with Torquil and the real, working class people that he knows-- many of whom have been harmed by her fiance's presence on the nearby island-- and it forces her to realize that she made a plan that she thought was safe for her out of fear but that she didn't want to be going in the direction she was going and she doesn't really want anything to do with Consolidated Chemical. Her heart is with Torquil and his people. She realizes that her own stubborn sense of independence made her never someone who could have been satisfied with that plan she had made for her life because her values do not align with those of a life of being Mrs. Consolidated Chemical.
(The film also loves Scotland big time and there's an element in it of an Englishwoman falling in love with some Scots and their way of life that Good Omens also echoes with things like the 1827 minisode and Crowley and Aziraphale's love of Scotland-- Aziraphale changing the flag on the guy in the graveyard's phone, etc.. There's also a plot about Torquil, the idea of being cursed/doomed for eternity, and a whole thing about crossing doors/thresholds that are all very Good Omens as well but that would be too spoilery to get into.)
So, in the course of this dream that Joan has, she dreams of her journey to Scotland and the hills in her dream are covered in tartan. She doesn't know it but this is foreshadowing her actual fate-- she will fall for Scotland and for the man she meets there on her journey. This is the last thing she sees before she wakes up and then the whole rest of the film is really her waking up from the metaphorical dream that was her initial plans for her life and how unhealthy they were. The dream sequence is sort of a summary of where the film began and where it's going that is hidden in plain sight near the start of the film.
It's one thing for a tv show or a film to do an homage to another show/film but it's another to do one the way that GO nods to I Know Where I'm Going!. GO does an homage to this film by having Aziraphale do his own homage to it, in such a way that it makes it clear that Aziraphale is aware of the film. Aziraphale, as he is on his own journey to Scotland, changes bits of The Bentley to reflect Crowley and then, to amuse himself, changes the hills while he drives past them into the tartan hills of Joan's dream in I Know Where I'm Going!. It says that he knows and loves this movie.
It says that he sees elements of he and Crowley in Joan and Torquil's story. He relates to the movie as being like how Crowley came along and wrecked his plans to unhappily follow The Ineffable Plan into the abyss. Aziraphale has long since known where he's going, who he loves, and who he'll marry. Aziraphale's dear knows it, too. They're just about 90 minutes or so out from being able to make the last part happen.
I Know Where I'm Going...
Despite knowing the Powell & Pressburger influence on GO, I hadn't realised the episode 'I Know Where I'm Going' was named after a P&P movie! Flipping TV channels this evening, it was on BBC just as a bright eyed maid was travelling to Scotland and singing about a disreputable lover...
Aziraphale nipping up to Edinburgh, thinking about his devil dear...? So many LAYERS.
#good omens#good omens meta#aziraphale#aziracrow#crowley#ineffable husbands#ineffable husbands speak
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Me, episode 1: Oh, a relatable protag! And a relatable female protag, at that. Sweet! That never happens.
Me, a few episodes in: Wait, the protag really is going to be my character? The one I identify with the most? Seriously? It's not going to be a strange, at least somewhat sinister, seemingly hostile male side character? It's gonna be a female character and the protagonist? That's insane, that literally never happens... what's the catch??
Me, more than halfway through the season: ... huh, I guess Maomao really is it. Okay, then ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Me to myself, after episodes 22/23:
#i let my guard down#i should have known#like really i should know better by now lmao#that's probably the best depiction of prosopagnosia i've seen in fiction ngl#also luo//men's suggestion re: using other attributes to tell people apart??#A++ approach what a guy#mine isn't nearly as severe but i totally use footsteps/gait/mannerisms as my primary means of distinguishing people#the very few people i care about i can definitely recognize by facial features#and people i see frequently; though i do have trouble recognizing them if they appear in a context i'm not used to#like. if i were to see one of my sword classmates at my workplace for instance i would have trouble recognizing them#but anyone else? forget it#the most difficult part of working veterinary front desk was returning animals to their owners#bc even though i could have /just/ spoken with the owners like. ten minutes ago#i couldn't tell you which animal belonged to which owner#faces just don't register with me#dogs were easier in that i'd just let them lead me to their owners#but if it was a cat in a carrier i was fucked lmaooo#it's why if there was another receptionist working i'd let them handle any hand offs XDD#i don't remember most of my childhood but i have some very vivid impressions of moments like#my mother asking me to go give a cash tip to the hairdresser who did her hair and me being unable to pick who it was out#of everyone that was working even though i'd been there with them for two plus hours.#or like. taking the school bus home and being unable to recognize my bus monitor and so getting on the wrong bus#and also getting ridiculed about this by my parents lol. ah good times.#on the other hand i can easily recognize a dog i've met once or twice even years later. and remember their name.#i think it all mostly comes down to disinterest for me. i've tried to change this but it's just how i am#so. he's very relatable. painfully so#also the pragmatism and rationality and hyperfixating on things.#i've never hyperfixated on another person tho and i am so grateful for that every single day#i know in my bones it would be an absolute disaster XD#withoutwords
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an edek themed collage 🪲
#not me posting this just to have an excuse to talk about him more aaahahhhah#i've created edek approx 4 years ago and since then he went through little to no design changes#he is jus flawless. perfect#his personality however.. oof#i mean !!! he's not a bad guy#as i mentioned before he's very friendly and open to new people and opportunities#its just. he was based on my (now) ex best friend#me and that friend were close during primary school and despite me moving cities we managed to keep this friendship going#but you know. it wasnt the same. it became long distance#and i think i manifested my longing by creating an oc that was based on his aesthetics and personality#it took me some time to realise that i've been viewing this friend through lens of this oc. that of course lead to idealisation#because he wasn't physically there with me i created an imaginary version of him in my head#it was also because at this point we were getting older and slowly growing apart#and i think i wanted to grasp a little part of him that would still understand me#edek's relationship with ryba was also heavily influenced by this relationship#and. well. the things that my ex friend and edek have in common are short temper (despite acting chill) and trouble showing affection#he also tends to say things faster than he can even think them through#oh and he enjoys long walks through the woods and mountain hiking and bicycling and bugs and mushrooms and. yeah#and the other traits!!!!#he is suuuuuuper protective of his loved ones especially his younger sister irenka#his interest include everything thats fantasy and with folklore themes#hes also a stoner lol#aaand a funfact - he and zbyszek (of dycha za zbycha!!!!) used to be friends in childhood but they aren't friends as of now#why you might ask? from edek's pov zbyszek and his family just randomly disappeared#and edek was the only one that wasn't in on the fact that they have moved to the usa#edek wondered why his best friend at that time didn't tell him such important news#and often thought that there mustve been something wrong with him or zbyszek didn't actually like him that much#this incident heeeavily influenced his perception of relationships in the future#OH AND ALSOO hes an artist he graduated art hs with a degree in graphic design and is in college for the same thing#original character
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someone's been liking a lot of my old posts relating to my attempts to rewrite fairy tail.... which, and this may astound you, is not actually a cancelled project in spite of the fact that it's been nearly a decade since i first started trying to figure it out
#fairy tail#fairy tail rewrite#ek3 rewrites ft#i knew it would take a while but. it is taking wayyyyyy longer than i thought#likely in part bc of the hell that is rotating special interests/hyperfixations#tbh i'm actually kinda ok with how long it's taken bc i've had some pretty good ideas since that i wouldn't have when i first started#unfortunately that also means some earlier ideas have been scrapped#oddly i'm actually having more trouble with some of the earlier arcs#the macao and daybreak arcs are still overall the same plot-wise but i'm planning to use them for world-building and character introduction#i've also gotten a bit more comfortable leaning into some of ft's more soap opera-y nonsense#like the constant surprise family stuff#just. hopefully less stupid#also. and i'm sure i've said this before. every character who dies was planned out well in advance#like even now when i'm still in the early stages (*sound of sobbing heard in the distance*) i know who's not making it and who is#probably the hardest part will be dealing with the last few arcs tho bc by that point it'll look pretty freaking different from canon#actually the hardest part will probably be handling the balance between fanfic-as-fanfic and fanfic-being-written-like-an-original-work#also i'm still firmly refusing to acknowledge the existence of ft100yq#i can't see it. i don't know her
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I want to write, but too many competing ideas are essentially giving me writer's block.
#the kate tag#in some ways I feel like having a lot of ideas is a good thing#but right now it really fucking sucks#also I think part of the problem is that most of my projects are in very rough draft stages or essentially done#oughhgh#anyway#maybe I'll just work on that John Wick AU edit for Rooney#although I've been having trouble with that too
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#I've been listening to Il nome della rosa di Ad alta voce and I've just found out it's an abridged version#I thought some parts were missing but I've read the book so long ago that I couldn't be sure#this is terribly annoying though because I'm reading two books and the idea is that I can listen to this one#and I don't want to drop it but at the same time#what's the point of reading a book when you know it has been cut up#and you have it at home unabridged#and Moni Ovadia is so good it's wonderful listening to him#I think I'll keep going. I'm at ep 10 of 30. but to say I'm disappointed is an understatement#I've also completely dropped I ragazzi di Von Gloeden for what must be the fifth time#I think I'm just going to buy it because I'm clearly having trouble reading a non physical copy#where to buy it though if I don't want to use amazon or ibs. Oh well#personal#also when you're not reading the unabridged version you should say it upfront. Fair's fair
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very minor thing I still definitely deserve a medal for:
being raised catholic, and now as an adult repeatedly falling in love with characters that fandoms like to declare catholic, but still managing to reject those headcanons because at heart I'm too much of a stickler for accurate analysis to get behind them when i know the person in question is really meant to be anglican/episcopalian/whatever other flavor of christian
i am being, as the poets say, so brave about it
#i dont wanna list examples bc this is just a lil vent post im not looking to make this pop up in any tags & insult anybody#bc tbh some of the worst offenders are absolutely top-tier favorite characters of mine with woefully small fandoms#& the LAST thing i wanna do is be rude about or discourage anyone who posts about/writes for/discusses them#just because i happen to have trouble getting on board with one part of their analysis.#but it does amaze me that this Keeps happening#talk about resisting temptation#& for the record when i say 'raised catholic' i do not just mean christmas and easter catholic okay#im talking 'college was the first time in my life religion wasnt a required subject' catholic#'virtually everybody i knew as a teen went to different single-sex high schools' catholic#horrible uniforms. strict nuns. classes interrupted for masses for even the minor holidays. joined choir for something to do-catholic#as an adult i still have friends & acquaintances who work in/for churches type-catholic#my mom actively tries to hide rosary beads & scapulars in my bags & car every time i come home catholic#(i dont even think most people know what scapulars ARE for christ's sake! & if they think they do they're probably picturing the wrong one#meanwhile i've got a routine list of hiding spots to check for them before driving away)#my point is.#if it made even a scrap of sense for any of these characters to actually be catholics trust me i'd be the FIRST one saying so#bc i know i could write the SHIT out of all the angsty repressed queer guilt religious trauma stuff everyone's drawn to it for#that's like the very least i could get out of having been up to my eyeballs in it for the first two decades of my life#but 99% of the time it just doesn't track w/ what we know about them at all im sorry.#im sorry your moodboard yearns for stained glass saints#im sorry your fic hinges upon a flashback to a certain sacrament#but im just not buying it
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Hi. (Announcement in the tags)
#uhmm...i don't know how to explain this...#so my family has been having a lot of trouble lately#mostly our relationship with our step father#there's been ups and downs..well..more on the downer side. the only main reason my mother married him was because of..well..#money..as trash as that sounds. i can't deny the fact that I've been able to continue my studies due to his financial support.#i don't want to justify anything that i've probably done wrong to him but emotionally right now—i'm simply scarred to the point where—#I don't think I could heal without professional help. I've been struggling a lot with it ever since of what he did#i felt disgusted. dirty. I felt lost. I didn't want to forgive him. maybe this is the punishment i have to endure because I didn't have it—#—in me to forgive him. I know the principles of my religion and it is stated that one must always find forgiveness towards others.#no matter how big their mistake is. but you see—I'm not God. I am human. my kindness isn't as grand and as big as Him.#my patience is limited and so is my forgiveness#that applies the same to my mother. my mother is a very patient person when it comes to her husband. but yet again she isn't an angel—#nor is she God. she is also human and has limits to what she could handle and what she could forgive and forget.#they argued tonight. and I don't think it'll slide or end well like the past arguments. and I'm sorry to say but—#I won't be able to be active all that much either.#without him now I'll probably have to look for part time jobs. which is gonna limit how active I will be here and on my main account#I will probably go into an indefinite hiatus for some time#maybe I'll come back...maybe I won't. hopefully I will. just...pray for me that I have it in me to continue doing what I love and—#—sharing these little bits of what I do in my free time with you.#I won't have the time to reply to anything for the time being. college tests are on the way and I have to prepare myself for—#—the better or worse.#if things go downhill and you don't hear from me for a long while. then this will probably be my last post here.#I'll still be able to reply to messages on other platforms#but I just don't have the emotional stability to talk right now. No it's gonna be fine. I have faith in me and God.#I know that He doesn't put His children into burdens that none of them could handle.#and if He thinks I could handle this. then I will. and I can. He is with me and so is all of your faith.#that puts me in a sense of reassurance a little hahah...#yeah.. so...I'll see you then..bye.
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i have a session zero for a short ttrpg game tonight and still have no idea what my character is going to be like at all oifajweifj this is a first for me and i'm kinda stressed about it lmao
#i've been having so much trouble w character creation lately oaifejwa it used to be my favorite part but now it's just like#i've made so many characters that they don't feel unique or like i want to make them different so they're not as fun to play#i think i need to just start leaning into that some characters will be similar but i have fun w it so why does it matter y'know#idk i'm constantly up in my own head#literally no one else cares lmao#anyway stay tuned for my latest monstrous creation#it's going ot be a modern eldritch game set in 2008#*dykeposting#ttrpg rambles
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#also i've finally deleted L's number from my phone and the sad spotify playlist and the list of her fav things#(also i feel like saying list of her fav things sounds weird and creepy. just to clarify i keep a running list for each of my friends with#like important info and their fav food and coffee order and stuff like that because i have a really bad memory and can't always remember#details like that even though i really care. i just have trouble recalling details when i want to get them treats and stuff)#but anyway.. i deleted all that stuff from my phone. i even charged my old phone so that i could delete her number from there too. i want to#let her go. i've moved on so long ago but for some reason i just haven't been able to fully let her go so i've held onto these little things#but i'm finally ready to fully let her go#so i deleted that stuff. i cut that connection. i no longer have her number. and it feels so good#like that tiny part of me holding on is a little sad. but it's more mourning the loss of what could've been#but i've accepted that it doesn't matter. i can't keep thinking about what would've happened if she hadn't moved or if i'd reached out#sooner when she got back. i can wonder and wonder but i'll never be able to go back in the past. i don't need to wonder anymore#because honestly i don't even want to be with her anymore.. it would kind of be embarrassing. idk i was just such a different person when we#were seeing each other. i feel like a completely different person than that and idk it's almost embarrassing that she knew me like that when#i know how much better i am now. like i just truly like myself more now than then. i'm so much cooler now lmao#but yeah. i don't want her anymore. i'm letting go. i can finally actually let go and it feels so good#and not only for me but like i'll no longer have that tiny layer of guilt when dating anybody else#and i'll be able to actually fully be all in for that person and that's what i want#i don't want to hold out for her anymore#and honestly. i hadn't been while dating N#that's a whole other thing i have to deal with#but i'm just glad that i'm no longer holding onto L. i just feel like a huge weight has been lifted off of me :)#blake says shit
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He's right; there is an education gap between men and women in many fields. I agree with him on the trades part too. Encouraging many students to go into trades instead of traditional university education is probably the best route for many people. But I do not like the implication that women's success has somehow caused this trend for men.
He also conveniently ignored some history. The fields of education (mainly as teachers to children) and health (mainly nurses) were for a very long time some of the only jobs women could have. I feel like this is missing a lot of information that would round the picture out a bit more. Historically, mainly only Men were professors and doctors, the leaders in these professions. Only recently (the last 120 years or so) did women start being allowed into higher positions in these fields.
I'm not going to write an entire thesis in response to this video. I have some thoughts but I'm still mulling it over. I feel like this would probably be something to share with my grad class next semester for sure.
#school teacher and nurse were some of the only jobs available to women for a very long time#and are both considered 'feminine' even if they shouldn't be so men are less likely to want to work those jobs#I agree with his idea about the trades though! That is true a person can make a very good living in the trades (my brother is)#and yes there is an education gap which is concerning#but there's just a weird tone to this almost like it's blaming women's success on men's failures? which is not right#men have choices- the fathers part was troubling too#society has harsher standards for mothers than it does fathers so women are expected to take on the majority of childcare#IDK I'm looking into education debates because I'm interested but also my next class is a teaching course#so I've been saving videos for next session#and this is both interesting and has some good points#education#I'm in grad school to become an English professor to undergrads (that's the hope)#trade school should be touted as much as university because it is better for some students really truly#we have an education crisis in the school system in America currently and I think we're going to have to start making some changes soon#big think#richard reeves#youtube#mychatter#Youtube
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God i really should make a fancam for ten I can't exclude women like this. especially if the woman is a space satellite
#i just cant NOT think of a good song for her#i might just say fuck it and make it like a cutesy song and have it be a sparkly edit that i initially was going to do as the joke#before i ended up just going a different direction in the end#bc the joke i had in mind was like a glittery cute blorbo edit. but instead of it being like an anime boy or whatever#its nasa pictures of satellites. i still think this idea is funny#another reason I've been stalling on this though its Tricky to find various differing pictures of these satellites#theres normally like only 2 or 5 of each of them. yknow bc most ppl cant take pics of them in space#and also some of them arent even IN space yet. these are just prototypes and rendered models we have#so i gotta get creative when editing them so its not just. the same picture#but thats after i try as hard as i can to find pictures of them first#& try to get past the part of my brain thats worried abt getting in legal trouble#for using a picture of jupiter icy moons explorer in 100 gecs edit akdhfkhffkf#i dont care abt lunchables though they can suck my ass i will use as many pictures of them as i please#rando thoughtz
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I cannot overstate the value of native 'weeds' and green manure practices. I've been having fantastic luck with my vegetable garden because I've let the native smartweed, goldenrod and falsenettle just go ahead and grow instead of picking every piece out, and then I just go in and lazily pluck out the pieces that are getting a bit too big for their britches every once in a while and let them fall where they stood; I even bring in clippings from around the yard to sprinkle in there, too. The result is my plants have protected roots, more water retention, more valuable mulch decomposing around them, and when I do need to clear a spot, there's only the easy-to-deal-with weeds in the way. Plus some of them make for great animal fodder! I don't have to remove everything I didn't plant, only pluck the tops by hand every now and again, and even if the weeds weren't giving back nutrition by decomposing, I have more nutrients than I know what to do with anyway because I have two compost areas and a worm bin inside (get a worm bin, seriously, they're great, and can fit under a sink)
I highly recommend checking your area for master gardener guilds, because they can be a wealth of information, plus a great resource for acquiring native species that are hard to find. Natives are better in literally every way; the only non-natives I have anymore are edible or larger pieces I keep for other utility or nostalgia.
Imagine if baking bread was a skill any person living independently in their own house needed to have at least a passing familiarity with, so there were endless books, blogs and websites about how to bake bread, but none of them seemed to contain the most basic facts about how bread actually works.
You would go online and find questions like "Help, I put my bread in the oven, and it GOT BIGGER!" and instead of saying anything about bread naturally rises when you put yeast in it, the results would be advertising some kind of $970 device that punches the bread while it's baking so it doesn't rise.
Even the most reliable, factually grounded sources available would have only the barest scraps of information on the particularities of ingredients, such as how different types of flour differ and produce different results, or how yeast affects the flavor profile of bread. Rice flour, barley flour, potato flour and amaranth flour would be just as common as wheat flour, but finding sources that didn't treat them as functionally identical would be near impossible. At the same time, websites and books would list specific brands of flour in bread recipes, often without specifying anything else.
An unreasonable amount of people would be hellbent on doing something like baking a full-sized loaf of bread in under 3 minutes, and would regularly bake bread to charred cinders at 700 degrees in an attempt to accomplish this, but instead of gently telling people that their goal is not realistic, books claiming to be general resources would be framed entirely around the goal of baking bread as fast as possible, with entire chapters devoted to making the charred bread taste like it isn't charred.
Anyway, this is what landscaping is like.
#the bane of my existence is non-native shrubs idiots planted because 'ooh shrub'#chinese privet has become an emergency in my area because of how prevalent it is even in undisturbed areas#going on crusades against it has been valuable for me though; it makes for decent wattle after some processing#and I've been pleased to uncover lots of neat natives#we have some pretty healthy populations of the endangered american elm and redbay now; and the redbay is delicious#not to mention lots of ferns; lizardtail; wild grape; wild blueberry; wild blackberry#I use the plantnet app for id'ing things and it's led to many wonderful discoveries about natives#and lets me know I don't have to bother removing a lot of stuff#like the creeper that apparently can be cultivated to grow on houses on purpose#because it climbs using sticky pads instead of damaging with tendrils#so now we're just letting that go and it's insulating the house#the only thing really giving me trouble now is this weird invasive shit in the yard that probably wormed in on birdseed#I don't remember the name but it's a cordage plant that gets waist-high if allowed and is damn near impossible to pull up#I've made some headway clipping it in bulk and teaching the dogs to pull it up but it's still kinda overwhelming#hopefully I have a new secret weapon; The Goose#she was still rather small when the stuff bloomed last year and while the animals are disinterested in the leaves they seem to be ok with#the flowers#so hopefully this lean mean and long eating machine can keep seed spread from being a problem#anyway#yeah#natives are the best and get birds and worms#I don't even need to turn the compost because the chickens do it already#also I been experimenting with growing fullsun plants in part shade and planting edibles in weird places or upside down in hanging pots#and it all seems to be working good!#I probably have literally 2 dozen tomatoes in random places now#I keep trimming them and dumping the trimmings in pots and they keep growing
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ughhh i hate that phase of working on something creative where you have all of these solid parts of the full idea but putting them together and connecting them seamlessly just feels like rearranging the dirt pattern on a dirty car
#in the midst of really getting down to business on writing something i've been working on and off for about a year#and it's changed and evolved so much over time that some parts just didn't fit and had to be thrown out#and other parts that i really love and think add to the central idea are just giving me trouble and not fitting with the flow#or i have tidbits of an idea sprinkled throughout that i'm wondering if they should have their own section#and if i'm being redundant by bringing it up in different parts throughout and ughhhh#this is a script for something i have a very specific visual aesthetic/flow in mind so connecting it to that is a whole other obstacle#i'm more of a visual person and writing a script is tough#i got shit to say but i gotta sound coherent for once in my life lol#kaptainandy's log
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