#i've had a headache for two days straight 😭

[fiona-fififi]

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[thegroundsofbrooklyn]

I MISSED YOU TOO TUMBLR IS AGAINST ME IT KEEPS EATING MY ASKS THOUGH IT SAID THEY SENT

OKAY SO THE PEOPLE FROM YOUR CORNER OF THE WORLD ONE DIRECTION I love Louis tomlinson so much. I loved him in 1d and loce him now. We had lots of pride stuff at our shows because well do you know the story of Larry stylinson? -Louis probably isn't straight (I mean being in love with your male best friend would suggest) but he has never specifically said what he is also he's so support of his LGBT fans and we love and support him so so much. He's so sweet and his music is great and real and he writes about sad things too!

soooooo I drove 3 hours to Ohio to see him on Thursday after work. I almost got heat exhaustion so hot. They did not have plain water for sale at like 80%of the vendors it was just beer and cocktails (yuck and also NOT HELPFUL IN 90 DEGREE HEAT), got upgraded for free Cuz they had empty seats closer (oh my fucking gosh I almost died of excitement l) IT WAS AMAZING HE WAS GREAT. I then proceeded to drive back and go to work on literally an hour or 2 of sleep and since the pandemic no where's open late anymore so I didn't eat for a day and a half opps.

I went to his Detroit show yesterday and it was lit. He literally said we were fucking unbelieveable a minimum of 4 times and thanked us and called Ohio then michigan(both of which I was at) the best shows his entire tour. I just wanted to hug him like a bazillion times.

#one directioner forever sorry to ramble about my lifelong love for 5 boys from the UK. I just love things veryyyyyyy intensely. Maybe not the normal amount but hey

The staff wouldnt let us get streamers from off the ground :( I know that's probably an odd thing to want what can I say it's a memory. Although I didnt basically sleep for 3 days it was so amazing and completely worth it. I wish I could live it a million times over. Everyone was happy, and Louis was happy:) I am not social, but the atmosphere of concerts and to a different degree professional theater is just something else. We're all there for one thing, and it's so Beautiful. It's one of those times that for me personally my depression anxiety and borderline are far from my mind. I feel euphoric on top of the world and being happy is very nice. Being happy with others; seeing two friends dance or shout words to each other or smile it makes you happy too. Even when I don't know them. So I guess I am social in liking to be around people but just not good at speaking to them.

I also lost my car in a field because they have no signage and in a sea of cars where the fuck did I park. Who knows I wandered for 20 minutes until I finally stumbled upon it. I can't even imagine those people who drink then look for cars like my human you bad decisioned.

My most unfavorite part of concerts is just getting out of the traffic jam afterword. I've learned to get to your car and sit there until there is no line of cars waiting and you're golden. (That usually takes a while bit is worth the headache and wasted gas. )

THAT IS SUPER EXCITING!! I wish you were going next month, lol. I hope you have the most fun!!!! Ahhhh boo tests BUT YAY CONCLUSION!!! That means in a few weeks I can annoy you with all the newsies thoughts xD

I WILL SEND MY FIC IDEA IN A DIFFERENT ASK BECAUSE IM SORRY THIS IS LONG. I kind of apologize for that but you did say tell you all the shenanigans xD

oh my god that sounds incredible and also so chaotic 😭 six year old me had the BIGGEST crush on all of one direction smdmdj i'm so happy you had a great time anon :))

i am going to west endsies next month, but only closing night because i'm away in the usa for about the first half of it anyway ... but i can always buy more tickets ...... 👀

[bishiglomper]

YA KNOW WHAT

I think I MIGHT actually have a mild brain fluid leak 🤔

Listen listen listen-

My nose. Is constantly wet. The wells at the bottom of my nostrils just always have water in them. I am CONSTANTLY just dabbing at it with a tissue. All fuckin' day.

And I can use said tissue, a normal kleenex ALL day. Because it dries like water. Theres no slime or stickiness so it doesnt get stiff or crinkled.

Also, it does absolutely no good to blow my nose. A little bit of extra water comes out, but it doesn't like. Bring down anything.

I dont have drainage down my throat. I don't know if that's for or against my theory though. 👀

I have been sneezing a shit ton. So, allergies are still a possability. ☝

I think this has been going on for over a year. I think it's also gotten worse the last several months because I'm way more aware of it and thus annoyed.

I constantly have a tissue to my nose shoving it up there to absorb as much moisture as I can at once, I'm sure it's not very attractive.

The other thing is my ears leak. Just at night. Every night. My nose is fine though. Like they SWITCH. And I'm a side sleeper.

The fluid coming out of my ears is clear. My ears themselves are clean. They don't get waxy.

I've have tried searching all sorts of ways to figure out how my ears would leak from allergies, like I've been told it was, but I'm still getting that it would be wax. I don't have swimmers ear or infection. I know THIS has been going on for several years.

I don't remember if antihistimines stop any of this, I will experiment further with that. 👀

There's a few dozen other symptoms that come with CSF. I have maybe 1/4 of them.

Neck pain and stiffness. I don't know if this is caused by that or just tension.

I always have a mild headache. From 2-4. The migraine shot every month helps a lot but I'm still getting worse the last week or two before then.

I get light sensitivity so very easily. It ranges just from discomfort to straight up my eyes start watering. The other day it was super cloudy and it still felt too damn bright.

I always have vertigo. That is also at about a 3. It does get worse if i bend down but clears up after a second. (Though last night i had a more intense, several moments lasting one... vision actually blurred: another symptom)

Bending over and seeing if your face drips is a test for it, but that is SO uncomfortable for me, i tense my whole body and hold my breath and can't do it for more than a few seconds so.. That test hasnt worked for me

I do get mildly nauseous fairly regularly but i figured that was a precurser to a migraine. I'll start dry heaving If i don't take a zofran right away..

Another is balance and gait problems. 👀💦 that is a problem. I may have had that my whole life though. Though it has gotten worse the last several years. I've tried to do balance training sort of things. And my gait is just super small. (I think that's all thats wrong with it. I don't know if i zigzag or anything. It may just be a hip problem..)

CSF is usually caused by an injury. My theory is when I was 15, I went on a fair ride called the zipper. Its the pod with a weight at the other end that flings you around in a circle. Upside down and all. They sent me like 3x in a row because there wasnt a line. That was the first time I ever felt ill from a ride. I literally had to lay down for like half an hour in the grass before I could move.

And I could never go on a spinny ride ever again without getting extremely nauseous. 😥 Like just doing a slow 360 in a spinny chair makes me ill.

Breaks my heart because my FAVORITEST ride at our amusement park was that huge tube that spun so much you stick to the wall and they drop the floor. It was my life's goal to be one of those people who could turn yourself upside down then 🤣😭

So yeah, I think that's gonna be the next thing i bring up with my doctor. 🤔 I see her in a month but I might just straight up tell her "Hey I want some tests" now.