#i've cried more than once
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wander over yonder sketchdump!
#myart#wander over yonder#skeletondance#sylvia the zbornak#wander#lord hater#lord dominator#so basically for the past four days i've inhaled all of wander over yonder all at once because i didn't watch it when it was airing#in short im in love with it it's just. so sweet. so happy and fun and full of love#i love all the characters except that bigass baby and a few minor antagonists#i've cried twice and taken more screencaps and clips than anything i've watched before#the animation is gorgeous the backgrounds are magical the writing is snappy and fun#the character designs are Just fucking fantastic#and sylvia is just like me for real
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– COMMISSIONS!
the pictures say it all but tl;dr my laptop died and i had to get a replacement and now i'm a bit short on money so i'm opening up commissions :]
�� QUICK FACTS.
ocs only, won't do mecha / furry / explicit content but will do humanoid fantasy races / cyberware / mild injuries or blood
i reserve the right to say no to a character when it's too far above my skill level
payment up front through ko-fi, no refunds, dm me before paying because you'll need to claim a slot first!
i need visual reference(s) to work with, using picrews for this is fine, encouraged even if you can't provide me original artwork! i refuse to use a/i art as reference so please don't send me that
– I'M INTERESTED! WHAT NOW?
please dm me on tumblr and tell me what kind of commission you're interested in (sketch / lines / colors + head / bust / half body) and for which oc, preferably already with a link to some visual refs so i can take a look :]
i'll then let you know if you've claimed a slot; if so, we can discuss details + payment and i'll get started! if all slots are full i can put you on a waiting list and i'll notify you once i've worked through my queue :]
the finished piece can in some cases already be done in a day but may take up to a full month depending on how busy i am and if my brain allows me to work, i have executive dysfunction and am in the middle of my graduation project so please be patient with me
ko-fi: ko-fi.com/nuclearvessel
– WHAT YOU'LL GET.
digital artwork of your oc :] you won't receive any physical goods!
you're allowed to post it wherever and use it for icons and such, as long as you don't take credits for the art yourself. you are not allowed to sell it or use it for n/f/t or a/i purposes
#commissions#bro i'm terrified. hello#hope the pricing is reasonable lmao idk how any of this works </3 i'm just a guy#posing and all of that is minimal it's just. your guy on a minimal background LMAO#i unfortunately do not have the time or the mental energy to do anything more complicated than that right now#i'm in the midst of graduation but i Need to get some money before july so ;-; cries in clown emoji#when you're on the waiting list i also cannot tell you for sure how long it'll be until a slot is open again#i like to work in batches so i can check my mental energy once i've worked through a batch to see if i need a break or not#so yeah. basically i am more afraid of you than you are of me LMFAO
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Ep 5!!!
#Episodes that make me go “The author has never talked with a woman ever” 😓😓😓#I don't like how Lucy's character is handled at all. And I feel like I can't talk about it because I'm just going to sound like a bitter–#ss/kk shipper... But I really don't like it. And if it can help my case I'm a multishipper so I really don't take any–#issues with atsu/lucy I like the ship quite a lot actually.#So you're telling me there's this girl... Who meets this boy who pretty much ruined her life by directly causing her to lose her job...#And the next time she sees him she's going to sacrifice her own freedom for him as well as tell him “when you're done doing your things–#come and save me” (longest ewwww ever)... And when she regains freedom (author didn't bother to explain how because they don't care)–#she goes to work... As a waitress at the café beneath his workplace. So he can keep doing his Cool Superpowers Job while she literally–#must serve him every time he visits the place. It's just ?????????????????????????????????#Look‚ I don't dislike Lucy and I feel general affection towards her. It's just that they make her act like no one ever would#Just for the sake of the plot I guess#And like I knoww it's (probably just a little) more nuanced than that. I know Lucy is living her own fairy tale fantasy.#It's just that what I've said about her story is still true‚ you know?#I'm sorry but as sweet as atsu/lucy can be. I really hate the author for making Lucy a waitress. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.#It's so weird. This anime has women writing standards that feel like dating back to the 20s#Same with Katai and the ideal woman tbh. Like why are women to be seen as this abstract impersonal entities? Why can't they just be people?#Ideal for WHO. It's like super screwed up of a concept. What even is an ideal woman? What does it mean to be a woman anyways?#They just want to say “ideal wife”. But women aren't made to be wives their existence isn't functional to another person.#Sorry. I derail. Next episode is going to be even worse on this front ughhhh#Back to the episode: once again it really shows they were running out of budget with this season‚‚‚ the animation looks very suffered#Too many flashback also... I feel bad for the animators tbh#I don't really like the shift in art style :( Not even Atsushi I found particularly pretty this episode my heart cries#The nail pulling thing made me feel like throwing up afhsjyabfsbfwasfvb I feel like I can bear worse gore but there's a couple of little–#specific things I can't stand and this seems to be one of them pffftttt#I like Higuchi I think she's both very funny and cool. I really wish she was explored more (but then again looking at Teruko... )#The relationship between Kunikida and Katai looks so interesting even though we only get glimpses of it. Kunikida regrets Katai leaving–#the ada but is also happy for him but also worries for him. He comes to his house seemingly to check on him and starts cleaning around.#The way he loves him and cherishes their friendship and shared history is really evident and it makes for a compelling dynamic.#Perhaps I should read their short story... In any case. Going to someone's house and compulsively start doing the dishes half out of will–#to help out half because he can't bear the mess sounds a lot like something I'd do lol
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I'm technically most likely demiromantic (definitely demisexual) which is technically on the aro spectrum but I'm sooooo romance favorable that it almost doesn't feel like it counts????
I'm a huge romantic sap but I'm kind of funky with crushes. I have them and I get them but I'm very particular and I almost have... control over them???
Like when I start to feel the feelings™, I then start looking at a possible relationship through "logic lens".
"Compatible here, there, there too. Okay, we're not with that though, and I will not move on that so therefore it will not work. Alright, cool! Best friend! Best friend! Best friend!"
I can just shut off the feelings™ once I get the feeling it's not gonna work, especially if it's on something I will not change. If I have a feeling there's potential, I let feelings "grow".
#it's not like I'm not “flexible” but there's certain things I just know I can't do that with.#this might not make sense but it felt nice to type out :'D#Mad rambles#I've literally only had three crushes in my life :P#I've never had a “type”. and I don't understand that. Every single one of my crushes looked SOOO different from one another#even behaved differently too.#one of my crushes mentioned someone HE had a crush on and I had the sad. cried in the bathroom then immediately got going on a#“You're fucking fantastic! Go for it!” pep talk only for next monday he mentions it's probably not gonna happen 😅#one probably had a crush on me back and I kick myself often for not realizing it. (read my favorite book when I mentioned it#to him. snuck out of class to see my performance for the “sneak peak” for the school musical. got into trouble on my behalf. etc.) but I wa#DUMB. I once had an ADHD blurt out where I was super embarrassed so then he started doing more stupid shit than I did#to get the attention off me and got into trouble for it and then checked in on me later :'D And I didn't realize ANYTHIGN.#Oh well :P#...realize this is kind of how I plan to write my blorbos but they're shittier about it :P
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beat sheet?
!!!! The Dean Winchester Beat Sheet, aka THEE gay destiel college AU
Absolutely incredible fic, especially if you happen going through your own queer enlightenment journey
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feel trapped
#I don't like her like that anymore#I can't like her like that#she asked if we could kiss once I said sure and found out I don't have feelings for her in the way she likes me#But she's not letting me end things 😭#Then she gets all sad#Cries#And the guilt I feel is so shit#Another thing is that I can't fucking handle physical touch and she won't understand#It's her main love language and it's not even in the top of mine#There are whole weeks where I cannot be touched without feeling burnt or like I'm going to throw up or like I want to rip the skin off#My flesh my bones#But she can't fucking understand why#I've explained everything to her and she just fucking forgets#Like the shit I go through is nothing#I do still give her hugs and shit but she's all like “are you mad at me” “do you hate me” when j physically can't touch her#I've explained it to her time and time again and she just fucking forgets#And even worse they all expect me to feel OK with touch again by the end of the day#That's not how it works#Like asking me 29 times a day “are u OK with touch can I hug you” and I have to deny them every time because i don't want to vomit on them#And it makes me feel like shit for denying them#They look all upset like I've denied them a basic aspect to friendship I'm sorry it sounds rude#But it's not a necessity#Especially if you can receive that kind of affection from other members of the friend group more regularly than me#There's so much more that makes the bile rise to my throat#But I just#Feel done#I don't want to talk to any of them anymore#Especially her#It suffocates me#And i can't be around people who make me feel trapped
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Those asks are so cute!! I’d like to ask numbers 14, 32, and 46 :)
Right?? They looked like fun! :)
14. What’s your favorite colour?
It depends! I like all colours, but I think in general, a light, slightly grayish blue is my favourite. To wear (and to some extent in furniture) it's brown without a doubt! And a mossy sort of green as a close second :)
32. If you could go anywhere right now, where would you go?
Right now? Honestly, I'd stay right here on the couch because I'm tired 😂 but ignoring my energy levels... probably to visit one of my internet friends! Are you up for some ice cream, perhaps? ;)
46. What do you need when you’re sad?
If only I knew, haha. Jokes aside, I think it depends on the way I'm feeling sad! Either I need good company (from a person or maybe one of my favourite shows or books) or complete solitude so I feel free enough to let go and cry for a bit. Generally good company though! I tend to prefer distraction over facing my emotions :') (I do have a slight suspicion that what I need might not actually be what I personally gravitate towards though. So who knows, really!)
#but having good company always helps!!#probably a lot more than the people keeping me company know :)#it's also very possible a good cry is more helpful than i think. but considering i've cried exactly once in the past 1-2 years#(and for five whole minutes at that)#i wouldn't know for sure haha#alys.txt#ask game
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Someone hold me 😭
My current audiobook is The Bewitching Hour by Ashley Poston and I am not okay 😭😭😭
I have loved Tara Maclay since the beginning and I have been angry and have mourned her for over 20 years, and this book is going to destroy me 😭
#currently reading#the bewitching hour#ashley poston#tara maclay#buffyverse#i related to her a lot and some of the things her dad says in this book are genuinely kinda triggering for me#I've had to stop and take a break to stop shaking and calm down more than once#*what he says and does#favorite characters#she wasn't the first character i cried over#ugh i have too many thoughts and feelings
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@ god if you don't want me to kill myself turn my power back on i am NOT playing
#it is 2 am and everyone is asleep and i've seen two firetrucks drive silently past my house and i am miserable and cold and alone <3#sorry to once again be pity posting but my phone has 3% so i'm charging it with my laptop that i'm also using for light#i have a flashlight but my laptop will be backup in case it dies and i want the Power Back Passé#**Please#there's this high pitched chirpy sound that i'm pretty sure is the smoke alarm? which thank god she's battery-operated but also my fire#alarm is faulty on a good day and the firemen know that and i'm so worried that one day we'll die bc our house cried fire one too many times#once again sorry i'm just tired and stressed🫶 how is everyone's day doing bc i hope it's better than mine#fuck the garage won't open eitherrrrrrrrrr so i can't go anywhere to work :( genuinely just. fuck me i guess?#whateverrrrrr ain't nothing gonna break my stride i'm running and i won't touch ground or something#a post#real negative nancy vibes this evening sorry gang i'll try to be more throat goat nancy in future#it's not even storming it's just windy as all get out which? i suppose could take down a power line but i wish it would not :/
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God I can't imagine just
Calling calling out people who only like my art without reblogging
Like not only is that rude and petty as hell, it's also way too much fucking work
Doing the math, like on average 2/3 of the notes I get on my more popular art posts are likes. To tag such a fucking majority like that would be nuts lmao
I don't mind if you like my art without reblogging it. I am literally just vibing and am not super concerned with getting notes (unless I'm campaigning for a poll then please blow that shit up lmao)
#i do not have the sexiest if like to reblog ratios but that's okay#once a post starts getting too big i honesty prefer likes over reblogs because it slows down and eventually stops the spread#*cries in danny phantom doodle that got more notes than anything else I've ever drawn even tho i don't go there*
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can't find any good posts on it so I'll make it myself!
its okay to be upset you can't eat foods you want. its okay to be pissed as hell that every time it seems okay, you get a flare up. its okay to be fucking angry that something you love to eat causes you pain
be angry abt it! be mad that some stupid starch hurts you! be upset at all of those doctors who brush you off! be pissed about people in your life not taking it seriously!
food is an incredibly important part of everyone's lives and its frustrating and infuriating to have any sort of struggles with it. cry over it, talk about it, be loud. it is hellish to have any gastrointestinal disability and, diagnosis or not, you deserve to be able to find comfort in food
so to all of my fellow stomach sufferers, I hope you have a nice evening / morning / night and I wish you good meals and snacks in the days to come. I hope your body goes easy on you and your flare ups lessen, I hope the foods you are able to eat bring you comfort and enjoyment. and I hope when things do get bad, you can find solace with others who understand what you're going through <3
#I cannot count how many times I've cried over food#especially when its social#I think my earliest memory of crying about food was when I was ~12 and had just discovered i was lactose intolerant#and my mom got me an ice cream cake for my birthday#it felt like a cruel joke. and she didn't even understand why j was so upset until I explained it to her#I had to take lunches to school and prepare meals because nothing at school was safe to eat#and on days I didn't have the spoons for it I simply Wouldnt eat#it was so frustrating because one issue became two became four became more than I can count#and food has lost a lot of the comfort and enjoyment it once had because of all the pain#but know that even with setbacks it can get better#narrowing down one bad food after the other is so so fucking worth it just to make food not a chore anymore#there will always be bad days and there will always be new things that crop up as unsafe#but know that even if an old favorite food becomes dangerous that new favorites are out there#I used to love ham on everything but now I can't eat it without awful pain and allergic reaction#but even without that old comfort food I've found new ones like turkey sausage and pasta#just. dude feel free to cry about food#its not dumb jts not overreacting#food is important and its completely fucking worth sobbing over#to everyone with gut issues I wish you good luck o7 know that there is food out there that you'll love and won't hurt you#food tw
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sorry for continuously posting about undertale i'm positively going badonkers
#yeah also now that i've played the game i can firmly say#why did we do that to sans#like why he's so perfect as just himself#also nobody told me i would be like genuinely scared that was awesome#i loved the flowey battle that i didn't see coming and the lab and the final battle#i cried more than once#jaye's originals ig
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yeah so i just finished s2ep9 of doctor who, im having a full on crisis over rose and the doctor and im SO scared for the next few episodes ESPECIALLY AFTER WHAT HAPPENED IN THIS ONE
it was a great idea for my neurodivergent ass to watch this show
no one say ANYTHING
#im so FUCKING neruodivergant#and maybe a little autistic...i should get that checked out#i have cried over them at least once a season#season 2 more so than season 1#if im this bad rn im TERRIFIED for later in the show#i'm aware i will have to say goodbye to rose as some point BUT I'VE GOTTEN SO ATTACHED TO HER#especially her and the doctor (both 9 and 10 im gonna SOB i can feel it)#doctor who#10th doctor#tenth doctor#rose tyler
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You getting into Ted lasso is actually amazing I’m so excited for you
i'm having the time of my life <3
#me two weeks ago: there's no way it's that good#me halfway through season three: jamie is my babygirl and roy is my best friend and I've cried more than once#ted lasso
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there's something about my aunt's outlook on life that's just so depressing and upsetting that it's getting to the point where i'd like nothing more to cut her out of my life just for the sake of enjoying it
#it's like. i saw her a few days after vivviene westwood died and i told her about it and her gut reaction was to be like 'oh look now you#have the opportunity to replace her and get ahead in business' and like. 1. the vivviene westwood line is doing fine by itself. there are#other designers. 2. wildly inappropriate way to react to someone's death. 3. i've cried over the death of vivviene westwood more than once#the reason i told her vivviene westwood was dead was bc i was currently upset about it (which i told her!). i'm still upset about it! in#what world is that something anyone wants to hear about the death of someone they looked up to? and 4. wildly inappropriate way to react to#somebody's death#but the thing is she's Always been like this. like when i was 7 she tried to bribe me to read a book on the engineering industry bc she#wanted me to go into a field with a lot of money to be made despite the fact that even then i'd have rather killed myself than go into a#stem field.#romeo.txt
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Being a nonsharing yumedanshi with arguably the most popular character from your yume's series is hell. I'm in the trenches. I'm fighting for my life over here. I need to kill myself
#guro never shuts up#every time i see the narrator shipped w/someone else i get a little bit closer to Losing It#nobody gets it nobody understands the extent to which i love and rely on that man. i have cried over this man more than once#i am more emotionally attached to him than i am any real person i know. i love him. i really truly do. i love him.#i'd kill myself if it meant i could be with him. i've considered it on the off-chance it might work.#like why do u think deaddove lore is Like That why do u think my s/i killed himself.#because everything was fucking awful for him and he just wanted to be forever with someone he loves so dearly#because i want that#because that is the extent of which i would go for him. my wife. i love him#i really truly do. i love him.#i love him
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