#i've been wrestling with a few plots but i don't much like wrestling

[quinton-reviews]

Hi Quinton!! I have been a HUGE fan of your stuff since a friend sent me the Tobuscus Fallen Titans (I used to watch him back in high school and was like "huh, wonder what happened to him after those allegations") and I gotta say, it is REALLY FUNNY every time my fiancé and I watch the iCarly videos again, because when you cover Gibby's stunt double breaking his ribs, you cut to a clip of The Official Podcast. I used to play D&D with one of the main dudes from the podcast, so when he talks during that clip I do a goddamn double take literally every time.

Anyways, I remember an original Patreon stretch goal being a Fallen Titans on Homestuck! I was really big into Homestuck in my early 20s, and was wondering if that's still on the table at some point? If not that's fine, I understand plans change! I just love Fallen Titans lol, the Fred episode and the Neil Cicierega unFallen Titans are some of my favorite videos of yours!

That's a real funny story!

So here's the rundown on the Homestuck video. When I first started making long videos, they were actually inspired by the relationship I had with other YouTubers at the time. I used to watch, like, H3H3 and Filthy Frank, etc; and I'd always see people obsessed with the versions of creators from the past. Like, "Oh 2015 H3 was the best" and "Oh 2012 Frank was peak." So I had this idea that it would be crazy if H3 posted, like, a video he spent a decade on and you got a new video with 2015 H3 10 years on. (I don't watch H3 anymore ironically)

So the original idea for the "long video" format was that it would be cool if, throughout a long, analysis/review/recap video, you kept noticing someone get older. Maybe my months, maybe by years. That's why I always like to get a haircut when I start one of these videos. If you scrub through and you see my hair get longer and messier as it goes on I think that adds something magical you can't fake.

So... My pitch to the Homestuck video was that it would be funny to work on it just once per year. To record one segment, say "That's it for 12 months", and then come back around to it. And when I was making the iCarly and Victorious videos I actually recorded a few minutes of the video! I think it was two segments in total. But then I had a bunch of personal stuff happen and my work drive has been much lower, so any "back burner" video hasn't gotten much attention since then.

Now that the iCarly mini-series is done with, I want to focus on some short one-off videos I can make before April. But once that's done with, I would REALLY love to start work on a few more long-term projects which will take months or years to finish. I think returning to work on the Homestuck video, to at least get the first 20-30 minutes done, would be a great idea this summer.

Now, if you want to know my pitch for that video, here it is. The video is not a recap of the creative history of the franchise. I do not get into drama, community hell, lawsuits, or other YouTubers. My idea is this: you always hear about Homestuck as an outsider but you never hear about the actual content. Most franchises on Earth I know something about, even and especially if I've never been interested in them. I can tell you a bunch of facts about wrestling and MLP and the Fast and the Furious simply through cultural osmosis and having friends who are into those things.

I can't tell you the plot of Homestuck, who the characters are, what the themes are, nothing. I've known a lot of people who were into Homestuck but nothing about the series!

So I thought it would thus be funny to make a video about a bunch of people who know nothing about the series starting from the beginning and giving their reactions, even if it's been years since it all started. I call this part of the video the "Homestuck Book Club." So the next step is me picking out the members (who all have to have no history with it) and making sort of a podcast setup. We'd then read and record every six months or so, IDK.

This is why the video has been stuck in production hell! Everyone who wants to work on it and messages me about it already knows the franchise. I don't want spoilers, I don't want people writing for the video who get it already. I want to capture the "what the fuck is this" energy of three dudes just getting in the middle of it.

Also, I think that I really like the theme of the video capturing our lives as they go by, capturing us aging and changing. If you came back from the future and told me this video comes out in five years, I'd say great. If you told me it comes out in ten years, I'd say awesome. Until then, the latest edit will always be on Patreon, even if you have to dig a little.

[adriswrld]

Retirement » Jay White ⁰¹

plot: jay white finds out abt reader's potential retirement at wrestlekingdom 17

trope: friends to lovers / he fell first, but she fell harder

pairings: wrestler reader x jay white / reader x (platonic) bullet club

a/n: he's hubby your honor 🤝 reader used to be in bullet club when kenny was leader btw! atp, y'all should just expect to see my oc azalea playing the best friend 😭

THIS WILL HAVE TWO PARTS!! THIS IS PART ONE!

"How's your neck feeling?" Sean, Y/N's personal camera man had asked after turning on the camera and filming. As she and her best friend who is also a WWE wrestler shared a YouTube channel, they were filming an episode of Y/N experience for WrestleKingdom 17. "Well, my neck is literally killin' me so I hope that doesn't effect my match later cause if it does the blame could go on Kairi and I don't want that obviously. People tend to blame the opponent if the champion has a bad match." Y/N shrugged, picking up her phone to check the time.

"I'm gonna get freshened up and then we will be leaving soon to pick up Azalea from the airport. I showered last night so don't even try to say anything." Y/N said, pointing at the camera before Sean switched it off. "I'll be waiting in the lobby, Y/N." Sean said, heading to the door and Y/N gave a nod with a tired smile. Y/N rubbed her neck with a tired groan, still hating that retirement was in the rear view for her. But if she wanted to preserve her neck, she had no choice.

Two hours later, Y/N was standing in the airport with Sean, Mercedes and Trinity as they waited for Pamela (Bayley) and Azalea to arrive. "Are you okay? You keep rubbing your neck?" Mercedes asked in a concerned tone.

"Oh yeah I'm fine, just a bit sore." Y/N lied, glancing at Sean who already knew the truth but understood why she was keeping it a secret. Before anything else could be said, they noticed Pamela and Azalea jog over to them after grabbing their luggage. Azalea grinned and pulled Y/N into a hug, Sean getting it all on video. "I am running completely on energy drinks right now so I'm little jittery," she said.

"Oh it's alright, Iz." Y/N reassured and Azalea pulled away to greet Mercedes and Trinity. Pam smiled and pulled Y/N into a hug, "It's so good to see you again. How are you doing?" Pam asked, pulling away gently, almost as if she was trying to be careful with Y/N and that made Y/N think Izzy might have told her about her neck issues.

"I'm doing alright, thank you for asking. Just a bit exhausted but I'll be okay." Y/N said, giving Pam a reassuring smile. "I'm so sorry I won't be able to join you all, I've got lots of things I've got to do today, I really wish I could join all though. Maybe tomorrow I can join you," Y/N spoke as they had all been discussing where to eat.

"It's okay, Y/N, we understand. We'll be alright," Azalea reassured and the three women plus Sean nodded in agreement with her. "All right. Just be careful, and have fun," Y/N said, hugging Izzy goodbye before gesturing for Sean to come on with her.

"It's probably just me but am I the only one noticing how much her moods changed? Like, she's not as happy and cheerful like she's always been, plus she keeps rubbing her neck like somethings wrong," Mercedes spoke as they walked towards the exit together. Azalea sighed and stopped everyone, causing them to all turn to look at her. "Don't tell anyone this but, ever since she broke her neck, she hasn't exactly fully recovered yet," Izzy explained.

"But the doctors said she was cleared?" Trinity added in confusion.

"She was, but a few weeks ago she started getting really bad neck pain so we went to the doctors and they said something was wrong. They said she was cleared but when she started wrestling it appeared that she didn't fully heal. It's actually extremely dangerous for her to still be wrestling. It's kinda like what happened with Paige's neck. It's why she was so urgent on dropping the title to you." Pam, Mercedes and Trinity were all to shocked and concerned to even speak.

"Does that mean she's retiring?" Pam questioned.

"Look, I'm not saying that she's retiring, but it's definitely in the near future for her. She obviously doesn't want to, but it's what's best for her health." Azalea corrected with a small shrug. She was the last person who wanted Y/N to retire but Y/N's health was more important than that. At least she got to say she had the greatest match of her career with her best friend.

"That does explain why she hasn't been in the happiest of moods," Mercedes mumbled sadly.

》* 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ • 。* 。° 。* 。 • ˚《

"I called my very good friend Okada to help me out for my match yesterday but I just got off the phone with him and unfortunately he couldn't make it. But, as we are already here, I figured why not just train with Sean," Y/N said and Sean smiled. "It's gonna be a pain but I could use the training," Sean agreed and Y/N chuckled and nodded in agreement.

"It's supposed to be closed as of now but I was given a key a long time ago in case I ever needed it. So, let's go inside." Y/N smiled as she unlocked the doors and entered the building. As they walked in it appeared the lights were already on so someone must've already been there. "Oh it looks like someone's already here," Y/N said quietly.

They could hear voices and Y/N couldn't help but find those very familiar. She could pick out El Phantasmo and Jay White's voice anywhere. "I knew I heard my boys," Y/N grinned as the two men both turned to look at her, immediately growing smiles once they saw her. "No way, is it the one and only Bullet Club Princess?" ELP aka Riley grinned and slid out of the ring, walking towards Y/N with open arms.

"Aye, former BC Princess. Not anymore." Y/N playfully corrected as she ran into his open arms. "Oh come on, you'll always be the BC Princess." Riley playfully nudged her once they pulled away and he shook Sean's hand with a polite grin.

Jay sat on the ring, a small smirk tugged at the corner of his lips as he watched Y/N walk towards him. "Still a cocky lil shit, aren't you? Not gonna come and greet me like a gentleman?" Y/N joked, getting Jay to crack a small laugh as he jumped down and let Y/N bring him into a small hug. "Nice to see you again, princess." Jay mumbled into her hair causing her to mentally freak out but she held her usual chill composure.

"Mmm, nice to see you too, Jamie." Y/N pulled away and Jay threw her arm around her, pulling her into his side like it was a normal interaction. "You know you can still call me Jay, right?" Jay raised his brows, still obviously confused on why she used his real name. "Nah, I like Jamie," Y/N winked, flashing a smile, he shook his head in amusement and didn't argue with that.

"So, what are you guys doing here anyways?" Riley questioned, choosing not to tease Jay for his crush on Y/N.

"I originally was suppose to train with Okada this morning to prepare for my match but he got busy so he had cancel. Figured I'd just train with Sean," Y/N informed, crossing her arms over her chest. Sean nodded, confirming her statement as he held the camera. "You can join us then, Riley was helping me train for my match with Okada anyways." Jay offered, Riley also agreeing with him.

"Sounds good." Y/N accepted.

Sean and Riley trained in one ring as Jay and Y/N were training together in the other ring. Riley was helping Sean improve in his wrestling so that was a huge help for him. "I haven't figured out how I wanted the match to finish, you know? All I know is that I really want to pay a tribute to Kenny and Azalea in the match, but I already figured that out," Y/N said to Jay as they discussed how she wanted her match to go with Kairi Sane.

Jay licked the front of his teeth, wondering if Y/N was still involved with Kenny. "Oh, uh are you and Kenny still, ya know?" Y/N's eyes widened slightly, knowing where he was going with that and immediately shook her head. "Definitely not, we ended things in like early 2019. We're still extremely good friends though, he's always been one of my biggest supporters." Y/N pursed her lips, silently wondering why Jay asked about Kenny. "Why?" She questioned.

"Just wondering," Jay shrugged it off but Y/N was still a bit suspicious.

"Well, we should continue now, I want to be at the dome early," Y/N said, getting back on track. "Yeah of course." Y/N stood up from sitting on the middle rope, "Can I borrow the blade runner?"

"I'm not sure, you technically never joined my bullet club," Jay pursed his lips sarcastically and Y/N hit his shoulder playfully with a laugh. "You turned on Kenny, how could I possibly join your club without it seeming like I'm betraying him?" Y/N pointed out as she circled him.

"Easy. You could've just chose me. I would've treat you better anyways." Jay said, adding a little truth to his words. Y/N glanced down in thought, thinking into what he said.

"All right, let's get back to it."

》* 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ • 。* 。° 。* 。 • ˚《

"Oh my god, your hair looks so beautiful, what the fuck," Y/N spoke as she entered the room Mercedes was in. "You like it?" Mercedes smiled, pulling Y/N into a side hug but being careful with her neck. "I love it. It looks amazing on you. It's like you burning the blue hair, putting that in your past and opening a new chapter as Mercedes, yeah?" Y/N asked. "Dude you got it perfectly. Yes, that's exactly what it means."

"I'm gonna get goin' but you call me if you need anything sweets." Y/N said, patting Mercedes's shoulder. "I will, thank you."

Y/N walked out of the room with her suitcase, going towards her personal locker room to drop her suitcase and bags off. "All right, now we are going to go search for the lovely Azalea who I'm sure is around here somewhere. She said she was by the ring since we last texted." Alice spoke, her hands tucked into her pockets of her joggers as Sean followed her with the camera.

"It's so amazing being here again. All the memories I've had here is just so surreal to me. It's gonna really hurt when I perform here for the last time. I'm just glad it's gonna be against Kairi. She's one of my greatest friends." Y/N and Sean both walked down to the ring, immediately did she spot Azalea talking with surprisingly, Jay White. She knew they never even met each other so that was kinda a shock to her seeing them in a deep conversation.

As Y/N walked up to them, Jay turned to look at her, "Why didn't you tell me you're retiring?"

Y/N blinked, being caught off guard with the sudden question. Y/N looked at Azalea with accusing eyes, "I'm sorry babe, but he was asking me why you always looked like you were in pain when you trained. He's really convincing, I'm sorry." Azalea frowned, suddenly feeling bad for telling Jay what was going on when Y/N trusted her with that information.

Y/N sighed, running a hand down her face exhaustion. "I'm not retiring, okay? We don't even know that for sure. Doctors just said that my wrestling days are limited if it keeps getting worse," Y/N explained. "Then why are you wrestling tonight if you know it can end your career? Are you insane, Y/N? Just drop the title before you permanently damage your neck." Jay argued, not understanding why she wasn't listening to everyone's warnings.

"I can't!" Y/N snapped, then taking a few breaths to calm herself down before she got even more upset and said something she might regret. "This is my legacy, Jay. This is my story and if I'm gonna go out, it's gonna be on my terms. Whether it ends tonight or next month, it's on my terms. You can hate me for it all you want, but it's my decision. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to go see my friends cause it might be a while before we see each other again." Y/N plastered on a fake smile and walked past them to go find Okada.

Jay ran a hand down his hair, frustrated but also hurt that Y/N wasn't at least making an effort to preserve her career. "You're in love with her, aren't you?" Izzy tilted her head curiously, making Jay immediately turn to look at her. "Where did you get that idea from?" Jay scoffed in denial.

"Oh I don't know, maybe the fact that you seem to care about her more than you're letting on. And, I've watched her old YouTube videos of her backstage with the Bullet Club and I couldn't help but notice everytime she was with Kenny, you always held that jealous glint in your eyes. She even told me how you tried to convince her to join your bullet club. It was so insanely obvious. You're kinda lucky she's a little oblivious." Azalea smiled sarcastically as Jay rolled his eyes.

"Fine, maybe you're right. But, don't tell her, I plan on telling her myself, tonight." Jay stuck out his hand so they could shake on it, it took her a moment to think before ultimately shaking his hand in agreement.

》* 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ • 。* 。° 。* 。 • ˚《

Y/N paced back and forth nervously, her title strapped around her waist as she watched the TV where Kairi Sane was making her entrance. "You can do this, just go out there, don't fall, don't be stiff, show everyone why you're the best. Do what you do best, win, wrestle and entertain." Y/N spoke to herself, trying her hardest to motivate herself but she was failing miserably, growing more anxious by the second.

"Hey, Y/N. Are you okay?" Jay walked up to them and Sean took it as a sign to let the two talk alone.

"Do I honestly look okay?" Y/N deadpanned then frowned, not liking when she came off as rude. "I'm sorry, that was rude. I'm just freaking out, or panicking or something, I don't know," Y/N rambled, breathing heavily, she leaned on the wall behind her.

"Shit, okay I was gonna do this later," Jay mumbled to himself before placing his hands on her shoulders and her hands went up to his arms. "What are you?-" Jay cut her off, pressing his lips gently against hers, in the process, distracting her from all her previous thoughts. Y/N practically melted into the kiss, immediately placing her hands on his, she kissed back. Hearing her music begin to play, they both pulled away and before she could get a word out, one of the workers dragged her away and up the stairs.

"What happened to waiting till after the show?" Jay jumped slighly hearing Azalea's voice, turning around he noticed her leaning against the wall with crossed arms. "I was trying to calm her down," Jay defended.

"Dude, you realized that literally could destroy her entire focus on the match? You better hope nothing bad happens, if it does, I'm kicking your ass," Azalea stated before walking off to go watch the match with Trinity and Pamela in the stands where they couldn't be caught on any cameras as it went against hers and Pam's contracts with the WWE.

"Shit," Jay muttered, running a hand down his hair.

》* 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ • 。* 。° 。* 。 • ˚《

Y/N took a deep breath, trying to get a breath in as she just superplexed Kairi off the top rope and immediately performed a Blade Runner after. The match was almost over and it was one hell of a match. Kairi was killing it and some even thought she might actually just pull a win over the champion. But, Y/N wasn't gonna let that happen. She had to admit, the kiss was a little distracting. It was just so sudden and unexpected. She didn't even think Jay was single after seeing those rumors about him with a new girlfriend.

Y/N crawled over to Kairi, attempting a cover but Kairi kicked out at two. "Fuck! Just give up!" Y/N leaned against the ropes, running a hand over her hair in frustration.

Kairi stood up tiredly and immediately ran and knee'd Y/N before she could block it. She dragged Y/N to the turnbuckles and began to climb up the rope. The crowd automatically assumed it was over for Y/N the minute Kairi hit the insane elbow. But, as Kairi performed it, Y/N got her knees up at the last second. Kairi groaned and Y/N stood up and jumped onto the top rope, performing her finisher, the Royalty Deathdrop. It was basically a backflip off the top rope into a DDT.

She hit it perfectly. "ONE..TWO..THREE!" Y/N grinned and tiredly crawled to the bottom rope, attempting to pull herself up as they announced her name as the winner. The official handed her the title and raised her hand before she immediately collapsed back onto the mat, barely able to hold herself up. Her body was battered and bruised so it was surprising that she wasn't even unconscious.

Kairi stood up and immediately went towards Y/N, extending her hand in respect towards her competitor. The crowd watched in anticipation, waiting to see if Y/N would accept her hand. Y/N hesitantly took Kairi's hand and the crowd applaused. Kairi pulled the taller woman up and raised her hand, showing a sign of respect for the retaining champion.

All until Y/N's hand dropped, the music hit. The music of Mercedes Moné.

The crowd cheered, obviously most knowing who she was. Y/N sat down on the middle turnbuckle, watching as Mercedes ascended down the entrance ramp. Kairi stood near Y/N as they watched Mercedes enter the ring. A whole new look on her, she was almost unrecognizable if you seen her as Sasha Banks in WWE. This was an entirely different woman and she wasn't here to play games. She was here to make history, money and win championships.

Kairi looked at Y/N silently asking if she wanted her to stay. Y/N shook her head, waving her off and Kairi stepped out of the ring, letting Y/N handle her business. Y/N stepped up, not liking the disrespect of Mercedes. She didn't have to say anything, she just raised her IWGP Women's Championship right in the face of Mercedes, not backing down to her.

Mercedes stuck her hand out, Y/N looking at it in suspicion. She took it hesitantly and Mercedes smiled as they shook hands. A show of respect. Y/N went to pull her hand away but Mercedes held it tightly so she couldn't let go. She pulled Y/N in, making her drop the title and performed what looked to be a gory bomb only it was straight into a DDT. Y/N groaned as she hit the mat, selling it perfectly so it made Mercedes look like a huge threat.

Mercedes walked over to the title and slowly picked it up, then dropped it onto Y/N's barely conscious body. "Give me a mic," Mercedes stuck her hand out, leaning between the ropes, they quickly handed her a microphone and she slowly made her way back to Y/N.

"Y/N, awee, congratulations on making history tonight, once again. I also know a thing or two about making history," Mercedes grinned, the crowd cheering for her. "I am here, in New Japan and Stardom to make some more. Allow me to introduce myself. I'm the standard. The conversation. The blueprint, and the CEO of this women's division."

Mercedes kneeled down next to Y/N's body, the champion not even attempting to get up or open her eyes. "So Y/N-San, enjoy your IWGP Women's Championship while you can. Because at Battle in the Valley at San José. Imma leave you bankrupt bitch. And you can bank on Moné." Mercedes took the championship and lifted it up, throwing the mic to the side as her music played.

Y/N rolled out of the ring once Mercedes made her way out. She grabbed her championship and let one of the officials help her walk to the back. She held an ice pack against her neck, as Azalea rushed up towards her and Sean obviously shortly behind with the camera. "I need to lay down," Y/N spoke, letting Azalea help her walk towards her locker room rather than run to do the press conference. They could hold it back a few minutes for Y/N like they always did.

"I love you, but you need to chill out with these extreme matches. If this next one is your last, don't hurt yourself worse trying to prove yourself. You had thousands of people watching you tonight, I'm pretty damn sure they know you're the best." Azalea said, handing the title to Sean for him to hold it until they got to the room.

"I know, I'm sorry. I'll take it down a notch next time. Sean, you can turn off the camera, I don't wanna film right now." Y/N leaned her head on Azalea's shoulder in exhaustion, not seeing that Jay was standing outside her locker room door. But, Azalea and Sean noticed him.

"I'm gonna go get the ice, lots of ice," Sean excused himself, leaving Azalea to deal with that by herself.

"I need to unlock the door so I need you to hold yourself up for a few seconds, okay?" Azalea slowly moved Y/N's arm from her shoulder and instead of Y/N supporting herself, Jay immediately went to hold her up. Y/N looked at him and sighed, watching tiredly as Azalea hurriedly unlocked the door to the locker room.

"You're probably gonna need a cat scan," Azalea mumbled, opening the door and Jay helped Y/N inside. Azalea switched on the lights as Jay helped Y/N lay down on the couch. "After the amount of neck bumps she took, I'm surprised she didn't break it," Jay added. Azalea pursed her lips, agreeing with him and Y/N tiredly hit his shoulder. "Don't be an ass. I had to make it look like it was killing me," Y/N muttered.

"I'm pretty sure it was killing you considering you can barely stand on your own," Azalea deadpanned.

Y/N rolled her eyes and moved the ice pack from her neck to her forehead. "The match looked good though, yeah?" Despite her current situation, she still loved wrestling and absolutely loved being out there in front of an audience. Nothing could ever take away her love and passion for the sport. Retirement or not. She would always appreciate it.

"You never had one bad match and it hasn't changed yet," Jay spoke before Azalea could respond to her friend. As Y/N went to say something, the door opened and in walked Sean with the ice packs and Mercedes. "Got the ice, and a visitor," Sean tossed the ice to Izzy who caught it with ease before he grabbed the camera and turned it back on.

"Hey, I didn't see you backstage so I got worried. And I noticed you could barely walk so I wanted to come check on you." Mercedes kneeled down next to the couch as Jay moved out of the way for her. Y/N sat up slowly, still trying to control her breathing. "You didn't have to, but I appreciate it. How are you feeling?" Y/N smiled, taking Mercedes's hands in her own.

"I feel like I'm on top of the world. This is all I've ever wanted and honestly, I'm still processing it all. In a way, I finally feel free, ya know?" Mercedes smiled as she spoke, still running on adrenaline from her debut. It completely took her mind off the fact that she was possibly gonna be the one to retire Y/N at Battle in the Valley.

"I understand completely. I'm literally so proud of you, I could cry. You deserve to live your dream, you deserve all of this. Don't let anyone tell you different. You belong here." Y/N stated, being filled with nothing but joy for Mercedes. She couldn't have been more proud of her.

Mercedes smiled, feeling a tear fall that Y/N wiped away. "Thank you so much. For everything." Mercedes said, blinking away her tears.

"You don't have to thank me. Just show me who Mercedes Moné is, and that's all I need." Mercedes chuckled and nodded, being gentle as she hugged Y/N. "I can't wait to beat you," Mercedes teased, pulling away with a smirk.

"All right, don't get all cocky now." Y/N scoffed lightly in a joking manner.

Mercedes snickered and stood back up, now turning her attention to Jay as Y/N leaned forward for Azalea to press the ice against her bag. "I don't think we've met yet. I'm Mercedes, it's nice to meet you," Mercedes smiled humbly as she stuck out her hand.

"Jay, it's nice to meet you as well. I've heard great things," Jay shook her hand gently with a warm smile.

"Well, I should get going. Imma let you rest and we'll meet up tomorrow?" Mercedes said towards Y/N. "Sure thing," Y/N nodded. Mercedes and Azalea shared a hug before she exited the locker room.

"You two have five minutes, then you need to do the conference and we can go back to the hotel or finish watching the show. I'm sure you don't wanna miss Kenny and Will's match." Azalea said before grabbing Sean and exiting the room to let the two discuss the elephant in the room.

Y/N cleared her throat, and patted her hand on the couch, telling Jay to sit down. His sigh was barely heard as he took a seat next to the woman he'd been in love with since their first interaction. "I'm sorry I kissed you. I definitely shouldn't have done that without your consent, that was extremely out of line," he began, causing Y/N to turn her body towards him, groaning at the pain in the process. She had never been so sore in her life. That was another reminder that she had to hang up the boots sooner than later.

"I'm not mad that you kissed me, Jamie." Y/N cut him off, using her left hand to move his face to look at her. "You're not?" Jay feigned confusion, being so sure that she was upset with him. After all, she hadn't spoken to him until Azalea left, which kinda forced them to have to talk.

"No. I'm mad that you didn't do it sooner," Y/N said, catching Jay off guard completely. Jay blinked, not sure if he heard that right or if his mind was playing games on him. "I can't tell if you're serious or not. Can you repeat that again?" He asked, being serious but not at the same time.

Y/N chuckled but stopped when she felt the pain in her stomach. "Look, I've always liked you, from the minute we met. But I wasn't in love with you," Jay's face fell hearing that but she placed her hand on his, silently telling him to keep listening. "I was so obsessed with thinking Kenny was the one for me because I genuinely never experienced love before him. I told myself so many times that he was the person I've always wanted when in reality, he wasn't at all."

"Then when we broke up and a month later I came back to Japan, you and I met up and I finally realized what was in front of my face the entire time. You always cared about me, and checked in after every match and that's something nobody else even bothered to do. You treated me exactly like I thought Kenny would. And I'm so sorry for realizing that way too late. I've always loved you, and when I found out you had a girlfriend, it was too late to tell you that I was in love with you."

Y/N wiped a tear that fell from her cheek, never being a fan of crying even if it was a happy tear. Jay furrowed his brows in confusion, processing what she just said, "I'm sorry, did you say girlfriend?" He questioned.

"Yeah, why? There was reports on Twitter that you had some secret girlfriend or whatever," Y/N shrugged. Jay couldn't help but chuckle, making Y/N raise her brows, not knowing if she should be mad or not. "Y/N, those were fake. That girl I was with was not my girlfriend. Riley and Will tricked me into going out with her. They said it was a guys night and when I show up, they're not even there and she just got caught in the middle of their jokes so I felt bad and just had dinner with her anyways. I don't even remember her name." Jay said, sighing when he realized he could've had Y/N much sooner.

"Oh." Was all she could say.

Jay noted her embarrassment and gave a squeeze to her hand, "I really wish I could go back in time and tell you how much I loved you way sooner. I could've had you this whole time."

"Well, there's no need to wait anymore," Y/N spoke softly, hoping he got the hint. Jay leaned closer towards her, careful with her body as of how sore she definitely was. "Can I kiss you, Y/N?" Y/N smiled and nodded, "Of course you can, Jay," letting him press his lips softly against hers. The kiss wasn't rushed like the first one. It was perfect. It was...everything.

Jay pulled away with a cheesy smile, "You called me Jay," he pointed out. Y/N rolled her eyes and playfully pushed him back, "Shut up, Jamie," she scoffed. Jay grinned and pulled her onto his lap, mumbling small sorrys when she winced. "I love you, Y/N," he spoke softly.

"I love you too, Jamie," Y/N pressed a small peck to his lips.

[tagapagsalaysay]

I'm literally too lazy to write a full on Article so ill just run it down in like a bulleted list

Jerry's ggg notes... VERY LONG SPOILERS. No shade

Scale — Gods to humans, many characters as a selling point for a narrative game

I think they stretched themselves thin with the number of characters they had to write.

The chapters of the game are episodic which is not bad, but a lot of the human characters' relevancy just goes away when they help the town out. Only a few make it to the ending.

A lot of my critique is just about how the human characters are either flat or lack agency. Makes sense to write followers dedicated to their Gods but I thought this was about questioning authority? Most of them are just kinda there to aid the character development of gods tbh.

The formula of a LL character having quirky, unique features that make them stand out is nice in isolation. But in this case some just become wacky caricatures that their contribution to the plot is mainly preachy stuff and wisecracks

Most recurring characters had depth. I think Razzma had depth as a character but aside from offering a few words fo kindness, her character development does not involve us directly. I was disappointed that she wasn't even involved in truth seeking especially about her closest friend. She was just there as an observer. I don't even think she was at the ending

The irony is I feel like the game is too short for the complexity it's trying to present.

Violence, Revolution, Making Art

I've concluded that I think the way revolution is portrayed here is just corny.

I can't deny they did a lot of work evoking a lot of fascism and authoritarianism wrt Inspekta and the bizzyboys. Looking through propaganda, using the art styles in a manner that isnt too anachronistic, the rhetoric behind why fascists hate modern art was present.

A lot of this work feels very undermined by the guerilla artists bit. Yes, the pun is funny, but it feels like they don't think art, education, and militancy can coexist.

They can't reconcile with the violence necessary to revolt. I think part of this is because of the game design. "Words are your weapons", etc. The only people seen to be violent onscreen are the Bizzyboys vs you with the Megapon, as well as Inspekta. I feel this is just a limitation of the game: some characters do threaten you and others, but the only legitimized violence that can break an autocrat is words.

Art can be political and violent. I think it was demonstrated okay in the game, but it being equated to actual warfare is a bit much. Didn't like it. Thought it was corny to omit it like that.

I compared it to Grim Fandango before, which mainly allowed itself to examine the rules of the underworld because they came to terms with the violence that came with death. Also, it was done in an artsy way (flowers blooming, relevancy to culture), so there's kinda no excuse.

The revolutionaries in GF were more entangled with Manny, the main character. They were introduced relatively soon, but he didn't work with them until late game. This is more of a nitpick, because Lulu was present early-game, but you didn't even get to talk to her until you finally enter their bunker. The problem of other human characters developing in isolation from your actions also seeps through here.

The social commentary that's prevalent in the game is clearly about art. But there are two similar but different messages I'm getting here. If they picked which to prioritize between the consequences of democratization of art and revolutionary/protest art it would have been clearer.

It was a joke but they decided not to call that one red book communist so, idrk.

I almost forgot the tidbit that they VOTE the next person to become the next god every 33 years. That's crazy.

Why are there gods?

You guys need to bear with me here. I know the damn game will not exist without the very concept of godhood. But this part troubled me the most after wrestling with the previous two points.

Yes I approached initially that the game was a cautionary tale about authority, image, and information. But even if it didn't pan out in the way I expected that's not necessarily bad. There are parts to really step back and evaluate though.

I understood that the apocalypse represented accelerationism on Inspekta's end. But when I was still speculating on why King would disrupt the order in the grove, it's not really strange to assume that she questioned godhood itself. It's literally divine right of kings stuff. If you adopt language like "the old world struggles to be born", it doesn't help the player think it's not related to the rift at all.

Which is why I was shocked by the ending in the first place. Yes, Inspekta steps away from godhood, but the structure of being a god is never questioned itself. Why should there be gods at all? Why shouldn't everyone become a god? Yes, gods are meant to guide humanity and be altruistic, but it's just so against the politics it's trying to use. From the in-game division between god and man, to something more doylist like, the narrative of humans in this game only serve for the improvement of the gods... it's just not there.

King just constantly haunted the narrative. The game makes a whole point about her not being able to defend herself from being defamed by Inspekta, about not having a voice. But the way she was treated through the entire ending was just so confusing in my head. Yes, she chooses her words wisely. But she barely speaks for herself in the end and I feel like a lot of her character development was just sucked out towards Inspekta/Hector for being insecure. Salt in the wound, but despite the point of the game being the danger of deifying someone to the point where their image is not at all similar to who they are, she leans into this role... and there lies any attempt to reevaluate why gods exist at all.

Again if they reevaluated their priority in the story in the first place they could have gone for a less muddy ending. Different from the arts context though— do they want to highlight character development and interpersonal relationships or do they want to lean into social commentary? You can have both, but I don't think this one works

Bonus: Why was this game so cagey about death when it was the main motivator for why Inspekta became a fascist? What's up with that? I don't really know.....

[virtues-end]

Hi!! It's been a while since I've played your game and I just realized you completely overhauled the story?? Are there any reason for the changes (if you feel comfortable sharing)? I'm so curious somehow haha but either way I'm looking forward to it! Always has been one of my favorite IFs :)

Hey, welcome back! :-)

I was suffering from ye olde writer's block and honestly wasn't feeling too good about my work/the direction the story was going. I also had a lot of characters that I needed to juggle around (I was very hopeful/optimistic when I first started out, lol) and I had needlessly complicated the overall plot in the first outline.

I didn't want to abandon the story, however, so I decided to cut a few things for my own sanity. Also, I felt like a rewrite would help me reignite that spark. And it has! It feels much more manageable now, although sometimes it can still feel like a daunting task. 🙈

Still, I'm having fun writing. ^^ And don't worry--some parts will still make a comeback in the new version of the game! Just wrestling with a ton of variations at the moment, lol.

[lazaruspiss]

DC Pride 2022

wee! i don't remember liking this one as much, but we'll see.

the foreword is very sweet, i'm endeared by it. The first story though... not so much.

"Pride's been a party for decades" - Jon Kent

Gay marriage in the United States was legalized in 2015. This story came out only 7 years after same-sex couples were legally recognized nationwide. We have also been actively dealing with anti-lgbtq legislation for a while now. It's some head in the sand bullshit.

I have strong and complicated feelings about this story. First off, I wonder how much say authors get in which character they're in charge of? Could they just not find any queer writers who knew who Jon was? This is probably the worst story I've ever seen from Devin Grayson, it's just so weirdly and blatantly tone deaf. I saw some people critique her portrayal of Damian on a racial basis when this first came out, but honestly I think it could be chalked up to that he was raised by assassins, I don't think it's an immediate racism-red flag if he's characterized a little too violently. He also very quickly shifts gears to telling Jon his dad would be proud of him, and caring about him in his own Damian way. I'm more hung up on how it's... Some of these stories are lighthearted and don't touch on oppression, but this story actively dismisses the idea of oppression. It almost feels sarcastic, a part of me yells that it's mocking Jon's shallow worldview, but that doesn't really make sense. It's weird. Damian is written off as strange and paranoid, and Jon is meant to be the main character, but it's Damian's perspective that I'm able to most relate to it through. This is also just a weird story for Devin Grayson to be writing. She thrives the most in angst/tragedy/drama, not... whatever that was.

Second of all, I can never get past Jon/Jay. Jay seems to be a queer asian character that was introduced by, as far as I'm aware, a white cishet author, and was introduced through a three page school shooting which was used solely as a plot device to make Jon look #badass. Every time Jay comes up, all I can think about is Tom Taylor's hack work and that damn school shooter introduction. Congrats to anyone who can get over that, but I cannot.

i'm too unfamiliar with the characters to properly enjoy it, but i do love the recognition for the absolute gayness that is wrestling.

i do have a soft spot for the queer stories that touch on the complexity of parent-child relationships. hawke's not really hostile but incredibly uncomfortable relationship with ollie hits a specific nerve. a few of the stories in '21 were like that too, where they build onto some specific yet relatable struggles that children and their parents run into. the letter, the metaphors, everything about this one is so sweet. another tear-jerker for me tbh. seeing damian and hawke interact at the end is so cute, and i do kinda wish that the gang from lazarus island could've stuck around and been damian's "ensemble cast" so to speak. ah well. they'll have a groupchat in my heart.

not to be a downer again, but the stories that reference the very real struggles that queer people still face really serve to make the first story feel worse and worse. anyways, god i love alysia. yeah i don't have anything interesting to say, this comic was more action focused which isn't my strong suit, but it's a fun read.

it's nice to see a light-hearted meeting the family scene every once in a while. i'd say this story does a better job than the last one of making me feel for jackson, and gives a bit about his backstory. i don't know how it lines up with the rest of his comics, but it stands alone nicely. it also ventures into feelings of displacement, home, family. i like it.

are noir wlw a thing now. they should be a thing. i think as far as stories that're in direct reference to a different series go, this one manages to not be too confusing when going in blind. the cannibalism could very well be a metaphor, and the story touches on what is pretty specifically a biphobia thing, which is all pretty interesting. im also a sucker for "monochromatic comic gains color at the very end to portray a change for the better" ngl.

they act like ray shunned his bf but like. he gently blocked a kiss and whispered that he didn't want to in front of the team. i get that the message is about internalized shame and all that, but what they call "freak out" i call "gently setting a boundary".

simple, to the point, made me tear up. again.

tim story :/ i like him i swear, he's just been so boring recently. it's simple fluff. there's just none of the insanity or weirdness that made me like tim and bernard in the first place is all.

i absolutely adore the art in this one. are they play fighting to figure out who gets to top? it sounds like they're play fight to see who gets to top. harlivy canon prey roleplay and/or CNC kink? very cute end, if not a bit corny. we now know they're top4top.

both jesse's stories end up feeling more "flash" than "pride", but they're still fun. also holy shit earth-11 dami and jon are SO cute what the hell??? dami w the buns and the sleeveless top and the belt, jon w the headband and the ripped leggings under her shorts, ohhh im so in love. fem klarion is also super cute. i wasnt expecting the masc donnaraven but ill take it.

you know that thing in shows where the single tear rolls down? yeah. it's a must read, really. devastating and healing all the same.

[toothpuulp]

joe bob on men, women, and chain saws -- possibly my favorite book review ever. love his ass <33

transcript under the cut

"Joe Bob Goes to the Drive-In" for 12/18/92

cutline: Berkeley professor Carol Clover, author of "Men, Women and Chain Saws," may be the first person with a Ph.D. ever to watch 200 slasher flicks BY CHOICE.

By Joe Bob Briggs

Drive-In Movie Critic of Grapevine, Texas

For about ten years now, I've been getting flack from various organizations of feminists, fundamentalists, mad mamas and psycho college professors, claiming that the movies I write about--that is, the three B's, Blood, Breasts and Beasts--are sick and demeaning and twisted and perverted.

Of COURSE they are. Why do you think I watch em?

But there's other stuff they say that is NOT true. For example:

1. Slasher movies are demeaning because they celebrate violence against women.

I never understood this one, because I never noticed a single movie in which more women were killed than men, AND in 99 per cent of them, the ONLY person who survives is a woman.

2. Hard-core horror flicks cause crime.

If this is true, the Tarrant County Sheriff's Department should have a posse stationed outside my trailer house 24 hours a day, because NOBODY has watched more hard-core horror flicks than I have. Any day now I could go off the deep end and start flinging hatchets at old ladies.

3. Horror flicks are a way for rednecks (like me) to act out weird violent fantasies.

In other words, all of us out here in the boonies are like the cannibal family in "The Texas Chain Saw Massacre." We really WOULD like to be munching on tourists. Otherwise, why would we laugh and hoot at the screen when Leatherface's family does it?

Anyhoo, I've talked till I'm blue in the face about this stuff. I've gone to seminars, challenged the president of the National Organization of Women to a nude mud-wrestling match, faced off against that shrewd fundamentalist, Dr. Thomas Radecki, head of the National Coalition Against TV Violence. But nobody ever listens, because it's "just Joe Bob."

In other words, I'm too pitiful.

So I wanna say something here, and I want you to listen REAL carefully. I'm about to tell you about a book written by a Berkeley professor. This is hard for me. Large parts of my identity depend on HATING everything that comes out of Berkeley. But I like this book so much that I almost don't even wanna review it, because what if everybody says "Oh, don't read THAT. JOE BOB LIKES IT!"

But it gets lonely out here. So here goes.

"Men, Women and Chain Saws: Gender in the Modern Horror Film" is written by Carol J. Clover, Professor of Scandinavian and Comparative Literature at the University of California at Berkeley.

Whew! I'm already exhausted. Carol, next time, when you write a book, study titles like "Jaws" and "It." It's easier on all of us.

Anyhow, I'm not gonna try to analyze this whole book, because a lot of it, frankly, is over my head. (You scoff?) But it's basically about three kinds of flicks--slasher movies, possession films like "The Exorcist," and rape-revenge films like "I Spit On Your Grave." In fact, I'm pretty sure this is the first serious book in the history of the world to do a complete analysis of the PLOT of "I Spit On Your Grave."

But, from my selfish point of view, I want you to know a few things Professor Carol decided after watching about 200 of these movies:

1. Slasher movies are told FROM THE POINT OF VIEW OF THE WOMAN! In fact, the "Final Girl"--or, as I call her, the Jamie Lee Curtis Girl--is so much a part of the slasher film that the writer doesn't have any choice. You've GOT to have a Final Girl, and the Final Girl HAS TO BE A GIRL.

2. Since 99 per cent of the audience at slasher movies is MALE, this means that all those men are IDENTIFYING WITH THE EXPERIENCE OF THE WOMAN! They're experiencing the movie THROUGH A WOMAN'S BODY! ... In other words, the OPPOSITE of what the feminist censors have been saying for umpteen jillion years now.

3. Jason and Leatherface are actually FEMALES DISGUISED AS MALES. Kind of a transvestite deal. Think about it. Aren't these guys always real screwed up sexually? Don't they always have trouble DECIDING what they are? It's a tradition that continues right up through Jame Crumb, the psycho killer in "Silence of the Lambs." So the original criticism of these movies--that the killers are always male, and the principal victims always female--is turned upside down.

3. The real villains in horror movies are MALE REDNECKS. "The rednecks have replaced the redskins," she says. In the old westerns, any Indian who came on screen was ASSUMED TO BE VIOLENT AND HATEFUL AND SAVAGE. Today, any redneck who comes on the screen is assumed to be violent and hateful and savage.

4. "I Spit On Your Grave," which has been called the most disgusting film ever made (by Eggbert and Siskel), and which has been banned from cable TV for 15 years, is actually told from a female point of view, so that the audience identifies with the ultimate triumph of the woman over the leering rapists. (As I've always said, what male could ever watch the bathtub scene and think the movie is in FAVOR of violence against women? When I see that scene, I can't walk straight for a week.)

5. "The Accused" and "Thelma & Louise" are both watered-down versions of "I Spit On Your Grave." And "Silence of the Lambs" is just another version of "The Texas Chain Saw Massacre."

You think I'm oversimplifying this deal?

Yeah, okay, sure. Probly. I'm probly gonna get a letter from the whole goldang Berkeley faculty, saying "You ignorant yahoo, that's NOT what it means."

But right now, today, after reading this book, I feel pretty good about it. Makes me think there's some hope. Makes me think some smart people will get their hands on it and become dumb like me.

Hundreds of dead bodies. No breasts. Academic Fu. "Men, Women and Chain Saws," published by--oh my God!--Princeton University Press.

Four stars.

Joe Bob says check it out.

[wordsandrobots]

So the problem with my brain's capacity to plan stories is that it doesn't know when to stop.

Because here I am, 6000 words into writing the final part of Wishing on Space Hardware, which is essentially a superfluous coda to make up the numbers and tie off a few loose emotional strands from the main plot, and of course I'm already thinking about the other Iron-Blooded Orphans stories I'd like to write. Indeed, some of them I have already started, because of course I have.

Now, to be fair, most of those ideas are slash. Smutty slash too. Did you know writing sex scenes triggers the same 'choreography goes brr' synapses as writing fight scenes? I didn't until a couple of years ago and now here we are, with at least two collections of explicit short stories in the offing.

First up is Sympathy and Other Mistakes, which I would already call done if not for the inexplicable urge to add more chapters to it. This is the one that I previously mentioned goes well to Great Night by NEEDTOBREATHE and is for the . . . let's call it 'crack-ship taken seriously' that I'm still not sure I want to publish anything for. I'm fairly nonplussed by moral-purity hand-wringing over age gaps and so forth, and firmly of the belief that getting laid is the least problematic thing anyone in Tekkadan has ever done, but it's a pairing that essentially requires the entirety of Wishing on Space Hardware to have happened to work. So, about a decade of character development beyond the show, which probably narrows the audience past the initial 'wait, what' filter. Thing is, it's an interesting pairing that I think actually works incredibly well with established canon. A thoroughly unromantic thing that swerves from dubcon to somewhere that's honestly kind of sweet, rooted in a search for redemption both characters know is ultimately hopeless. So . . . yeah. We'll see.

Second is the one I suspect would be most popular, You, Me and Everyone Else, which is the logical extension of deciding Shino and Yamagi are poly i.e., how much of the rest of the cast can I ship them with?

Technically, I suppose the bit I've written most of already isn't actually that premise at all but rather them unlocking the most blindingly obvious kinks imaginable. Still, it's fun and should be interesting when placed alongside the other ideas I've got planned. To whit:

Yamagi/Shino/Eugene/Sri (OC) -- The poly relationship I've been building throughout WoSH, in a situation I can't discuss yet

Yamagi/Chad/Shino -- Because I'm curious if I can make that work. If you've been following along so far, you'll have noted the emotional heft in the Yamagi/Shino/Eugene relationship is skewed such that Shino/Eugene is more intense than Yamagi/Eugene. I kind of want to play with that in the other direction, by giving Yamagi a partner he's more strongly attracted to than Shino is. Also I want Chad to have nice things.

598/Yamagi/Shino -- Look. My perfect gremlin child managed to squeak out of that game in one piece and so I get to imagine him grown up and happy, OK? And by grown up I mean roughly barrel-shaped and capable of out-wrestling Shino, and by happy I mean slightly drunk and blurting out “You're really pretty" at Yamagi in the middle of swapping 'holy shit, you're not dead' stories. It'll be fine.

(Chapter titles are already themed: Fantasia for Chains, [REDACTED], Variation on a Theme, and Guest Soloist. Because yes.)

Beyond that, I suppose technically that idea of cadet!Cyclase trying to come on to young officer!McGillis is also slash but I don't believe it would actually go anywhere per se. More that McGillis would take one look at Cyclase and go 'not today, thank you', and Cyclase would get to a point in the conversation and come to the realisation that killing McGillis wouldn't achieve much. I don't know. I'm intrigued by the idea of McGillis accidentally prompting Cyclase off the path of vengeance and on to the path of whatever-the-fuck he was trying to achieve in Urdr Hunt, and there is the challenge of actually writing the bastard's POV (I scrupulously avoided writing either McGillis or Orga's perspective in WoSH).

Oh, speaking of POVs, I was considering doing something with the Venus gang as the other side to Eugene Sevenstark and the Hesperus Treasure, but the idea's not really stuck past how the Urdr Hunt plot wound up going. Maybe if the theatrical presentation version gives me more food for thought? (I am crossing everything that they don't pull a diablous ex machina on us and kill anyone else; I already wrote 598 a cameo in the fic I'm posting at the moment, damnit.)

And then, well. Then there's the actual . . . calling it a sequel to WoSH would be a stretch. It's set another ten years on in the same version of events, but it's very much detached from WoSH's plot and would be my attempt to do a 'what if Akatsuki grew up and starred in a Gundam show' story. The short answer is that he's the most throw-himself-on-the-wire pacifist you could hope to meet and he's gone and got himself caught up in a big mess involving interplanetary medical testing, pirates, and the IBO equivalent of the Gundam Fight because mobile suit battles for sport and the Jupiter equivalent of Las Vegas feels like a fun setting to explore. He'd be a dutagonist alongside a female Gundam pilot who I know lots about but don't have a name for yet. And the story would also feature me performing an act of character necromancy so devilish, you'll probably curse me for it. Because I worked out how I could pull it off and now I think I've got to. Overall this would very much be a one-and-done thing. I'm thinking like Narrative is to Unicorn: a story technically following on and handling some of the same themes but with much punchier pacing and an entirely new cast. No idea when I'd get to it and I don't expect it'll have as much traction as WoSH on account of largely being OC-focused, but I think it could be fun.

OK. There we go. Those are the currently-percolating ideas. I will answer questions on them if you have any but this is mainly just me jotting them down in the hopes that if I just focus on these, I won't spontaneously generate more.

*laughs hysterically*

Yeah, we all know it doesn't work like that. But I tried, damnit!

[kirk-spock-fics]

ok i know this account is relatively new but ive been going insane trying to find this fic i cant remember anything except its kirk and spock stranded on a planet, they start off in a town thats name means solitude or lonely in a spanish based language, and spock ends up growing his hair rlly long. theyre stranded for ages and theres this creature that might be a massive worm and also these little bat things that swarm around. anY help finding this would be so appreciated im going insane T-T

Hi!

Unfortunately, I can't find any fics that include all of the things you've mentioned, but there are a few that match different parts. (Maybe you've conflated aspects of two or more different fics?)

You might be looking for:

The Lotus Eaters by aldora89

explicit aos, kirk/spock warnings: 'Minor character death. Mind control themes and sort-of-zombies. Dark at times due to twisted xenobiological shenanigans. Mild themes of stress-related weight loss.' tos, kirk/spock romance, action/adventure, hurt/comfort, slow build, slash words: 93,594 'Stranded on the planet Sigma Nox while searching for a missing away team, Spock and Kirk find themselves pitted against a disturbing native life form. With the captain out of commission on a regular basis and Spock struggling to preserve his stoicism, staying alive is difficult enough – but when a slim chance for escape surfaces, their resolve is truly put to the test. Together they must fight for survival in the heart of an alien jungle, and in the process, uncover the mystery of the planet’s past.'

The planet they get stranded on features two species - one insect-like (worm) and one birdlike (bat).

Sha Ka Ree by ThereBeWhalesHere

explicit tos, kirk/spock, au canon divergence stranded, survival, hurt/comfort, slow build, mutual pining, slash words: 180,505 'The year is 2258. Jim Kirk is a Lieutenant on the U.S.S. Farragut, Spock the science officer of the U.S.S. Enterprise. When the ships come together for a priority landing party, these two strangers find themselves fighting against the odds for a chance at life in an alien world, and the only way they'll make it through is by relying on each other.'

The classic 'stranded on a planet' K/S fic. Famously featuring long haired Spock.

If anyone knows which fic this is, please share it in the comments or in an ask/submission!

Coincidentally there's an AOS fic I've been looking for myself for years that sounds similar. Kirk and Spock are (possibly stranded?) in a town on a planet when Kirk gets accused of murder. (similar plot/vibes to Wolf in the Fold) I can't remember what happened in between but eventually Kirk escapes and runs away to the wilderness and Spock follows him and they try to survive while waiting for the Enterprise crew to find them. But I haven't been able to find it anywhere and I think the creator may have removed it from ao3.

Here are some more fics about Kirk and Spock being stranded on a planet:

Anodyne by Lizzy0305

explicit aos, kirk/spock stranded, pon farr, pining, mind melds, accidental bonding, humour, romance, slash words: 78,568 'Jim and Spock crash-land on a deserted planet. Due to an approaching ion storm, the Enterprise cannot be reached which makes rescue impossible for a few days. Spock’s irritable mood, general strangeness and fever are soon explained when Jim finds out that besides food and shelter, apparently he also needs to find a willing mate for his First Officer, so no one dies. On an uninhabited planet, his options are rather limited.'

Into You by SupposedToBeWriting

explicit aos, kirk/spock, au lieutenant spock and lieutenant kirk on the enterprise stranded, enemies to friends to lovers, angst, hurt/comfort, slow burn, slash words: 54,775 'Lieutenant (junior grade) Kirk and Lieutenant (also junior grade) Spock aren't the best of friends. In fact, they don't like each other very much at all. Spock has too much on his plate (being one of two Vulcans on a starship, his looming betrothal, his own internal wrestle with identity and duty) to be patient with the illogical, insensitive human. But when the pair get stranded on an island planet together, they must learn to work together - and discover the dark secret that the island is hiding.'

Side by Side by Herenya_writes

teen CW: mild torture tos, kirk/spock stranded, alien culture, slow burn, miscommunication, pining, injured!spock, injured!kirk, hurt/comfort, angst with a happy ending words: 113,641 'The Enterprise is called away from a research mission to act as representatives of the Federation and sign a trade agreement with the planet Reskar. Everything seems to be going well (even if Jim hates playing diplomat) until strange illness strikes, leaving Spock and Kirk alone on the planet. The welcome quickly turns foul, and the Enterprise is forced to leave her captain and first officer behind. Stranded on the planet, Spock and Kirk struggle to survive and struggle to unravel what this tangled relationship of theirs is.'

[richardxoliverxmayhew]

II Drabble for @vxctorx

Boyish, blue orbs waltzed a delicate balance of hasty yet purposeful glances upon the roughened facade of his sketchpad's parchment, now etched with meticulously drawn ribbons and curves of ebony and ashen shades, and the golden image of his love's reclined figure. The honeyed tones of tender sunbeams and the sea's untamed locks rapping upon the distant shore perfectly accompanied such a waltz. "Just continue lyin' just like tha'... Aye, tha's righ'. Just keep tha' hand of yer's framed close to yer' face. I promise I'm almost done, just a few more touches, is all." Oh, how Vic was born to be an artist's muse (not that Richard counted himself as much of the former). The auric bends of his muscles, tied together with his princely crown of tawny curls that Richard had raked with wandering fingers a hundred times over; and not to mention the captivating splash of teal concealed in such a handsome gaze. The sort of gaze that Richard would recognize out of a crowd of thousands. The sort of gaze he would recognize in the depths of darkness. Such godly traits would be enough to make Apollo blush. "Have I e'er told ye' tha' I always wanted to go to art school. Ended up becomin' a fanciful dream, I suppose," he tut, as poised fingers weaved the sketcher's charcoal upon the final flourishes.

He could feel the round of his heart cuff against the walls of his chest. A misplaced pulse trapped against his throat now, which he silently tried to swallow back. "Y'know, I realized I've collected way too many fanciful dreams, and endorsed certain realities mainly 'cause I was expected to do so or... maybe even 'cause I was too much of a coward to figh' for wha' migh' actually make me happy." He paused. ".... It's time to put an end to tha'...." Since the weeks leading up to their seaside holiday, Richard had been wrestling with this notion, which eventually bloomed into something of a confession in his busied mind. One ripe enough that the plump of its cheek would break off from its stem on its own accord and tumble against entwined roots. Richard lowered the barrier of his sketching pad, his blue eyes-- now brimming with the excitement of hope, the fear of refusal, and, mostly, the amount of overpowering love and affection he held for this man before him. His love. His future. His everything. Placing his materials down, he drew forward before taking a seat beside his beloved; his warm hand, now lightly freckled with echoes of their previous, sunsoaked days, clasping Vic's. "Before I say wha' I've been wantin' to ask ye', I need to tell ye' tha' I got a job in London... Or, at least I applied for one, but rumour is tha' the position's as good as mine. Aye, it's not anythin' fancy like bein' a lawyer or bein' a gen'leman but it's a start; and, more importantly, it's certainly enough to buy a wee flat, and food, and clothes, and a new life. Our new life!" Our new life. Ours. Oh, how that word tasted all the more sweet now that he was saying it aloud.

His eyes crinkled into a fervid smile, as his adoring gaze remained transfixed in earnest upon Vic, as if he were the North Star amidst a night as black as tar. "Come away with me, Vic. Aye, I know, it's sudden and I don't have a ring I can offer ye' righ' now, but I'll work hard. Hell, I'll even put in two shifts. Three, if it means makin' sure ye' ne'er want for more." Fingers folded a little tighter round Vic's hand now. Youthful optimism radiated with every word the Scotsman spoke, placing what sliver of doubt he once held upon the backcloth of his mind's eye. "Just imagine, a new life away from Sco'land. A life in London! Ye' can be whoever ye' want to be and work in wha'ever job makes ye' happy, and, in time, we may just have enough to purchase Our own plot of wood. For our cottage," he cooed, Their evergreen dream never having strayed away from such ingenue beliefs. "Look, ye' don't have to answer me righ' away if ye' donnae' want to. I know wha' I'm askin' is no small feat. I just-... No ma'er how many times I played it out in my mind my life in London, my happiness, wouldn't be complete without ye'.-- To put it bluntly, I'm ready to finally be brave if ye' are too." Gentle lips kissed the gilded hills of the gentleman's knuckles. "Come with me..." Richard whispered against the other's skin, the taste of sun and brine still stained upon His skin. ".... Come with me...."

[night-market-if]

Dear sweet author, poet-est of words, curator of comfort and IF deity of angst...I am not ok. WE are not ok. I'm going preface this "ask" that actually isn't one at all (my very first ever, mind you) with an apology for how rambly and unhinged and it may end up being. I've been wrestling back and forth with my Anxiety about sending this (people-ing makes me nervous) but after finishing Book 1 I cannot get your story out of my head, and you deserve all the love and gushing.

The plot, the characters, the prose are all just so amazing! You're so very talented and deserve all the recognition for this work of art. I've been with your story since before the first Chapter was released and it has gone from something I have enjoyed immensely to one of my favorite IF's ever and oh boy have I read a lot! The lore and environment are rich, and each character has a distinct voice that is their own. There are so many wonderful things I could say but I don't think I'm eloquent enough with words to do it justice.

*SPOLIERS AHEAD*

Reading through the last few chapters, specifically 11 and 12, for obvious reasons I believe I can confidently say I have gone through the 5 stages of grief and more. lol I knew what was coming and it still completely subverted all of my expectations. Played through first as my Milomancer and the literal gut punch I felt in some of that ending dialogue, specifically on whether he cares or not wrecked me. I haven't had a visceral response to a story like this in so long it completely took me by surprise. Oh, and can we just praise you for that buildup of suspense leading to the talk with Milo. I was legitimately holding my breath so convinced we were going to find him at Mals and it was just the invitation. *Screeches*

Anyway, reading this has made me an absolutely feral, sobbing, punching the air howling into the abyss of a mess and I just can't stop thinking of all the possibilities of things to come. When I finished, I immediately went back, read through all the routes with all the variations because I just couldn't get enough. It's crazy to see all the hints, correlation within everything and put it all together. Just genius. There are so many other things I want to touch upon, but this has gotten so out of hand, I apologize. (I hope this doesn't come off as too overly familiar) But now that I've finally sent my first ask I think I'll be comfortable sending more in the future.

So, congrats on technically finishing book 1!! I'm looking forward to reading the beefed-up version and in the future the next book (which ofcourse is a long way off). I'm sure you're chomping at the bit to get everything completed but I do hope you take time for yourself to just relax and be proud of all you have accomplished. Remember to stay hydrated and take care of yourself!

Much love from an old broad who is just a big fan <3

Unhinged asks are my favorite!!!!!

Thank you so much for being here from the get go. I look back on almost a year ago now and kind of feel like I was looking at someone who had no idea what she was doing but was going to barrel through it all anyway. Which, to be fair, is how I treat most things in life.

I'm so glad that you went back and read it again after chapter twelve! I have been peppering in little hints from the get go. So much so that I thought nearly every chapter, someone was going to call me out. LOL! And some people did but most did not which leaves me just in awe.

I've taken next to no time for me, if we're going to be honest. LOL! But I'm hoping to son. Mainly, personal life has been hectic so I am looking forward to sitting and diving into my work again.

I really hope you send more asks in the future! I'm not scary and would love to hear from you. Thank you again so much for reading!

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[look-at-the-soul]

Hi! Ok it's gossip girl again! ❤️Here's the question I mentioned in the other ask that I was wondering if you could give me an opinion on.

I have this idea I've been thinking of for a long time but I'm unsure if I should try it or just leave the idea alone because the story would deal with SA and an unplanned pregnancy that would occur because of it. And I want to say the love interest would NOT be responsible for those crimes, but it would still be a main point of the story. I DON'T want to glorify or romanticize anything like that at all. This would be an angsty idea where because of the past the future becomes more uncertain, and I wanted to make one character reflect on how his actions indirectly affected other people and deal with that inner turmoil. The reason I want to do it is because I leave one line I really want to write that I thing would be powerful, and I've been sitting on it for months. I'm just really nervous people would think it's "too far" for lack of a better word because of the darker nature of the idea. And yeah. That's about it. I know that was pretty vague but I've been wrestling with the idea for a while now and was just wondering if you think it may be "alright" to try to write it or if I should just leave it alone? You totally don't have to answer if you aren't comfortable, but I'd love to hear your honest opinion about it whatever that may be! Thanks again for everything❤️ I know it took a bit of darker note than our usual conversations but I really do appreciate everything you do! Have a great day!! Xoxo gossip girl!

Hello GG!!!! Thank you for letting me post this little snippet of your idea 🥰 and for clarifying the short version too! Haha I’m familiar with a few of them but not all 🤭

Okay yes it’s a dark path, but if you do it carefully and with the proper warning at the beginning I’d say go for it, firstly because it’s the initial idea you had for the plot (and don’t worry along the way you will make loads of adjustments), I think the story itself will “tell you” if it’s too much or not -I know it sounds weird but it’s true- and also take a look at your audience the comments and feedback also helps you build the following parts, last but not least, if this is how you want to the story to go, don’t hesitate do it 😉 because otherwise the idea will eat you alive.

There are lots of ways you can approach the SA, it doesn’t have to be graphic or write it literally (but if you want to it’s just fine too), and it sounds so so interesting because in real life it happens so maybe your story can help someone heal? Like a closure… of course not, you can write it in a way as to portray something that’s real and raw and spread a message, a very important one. Will the love interest be some kind of hero? Or more like a support for your character? Do they know each other before the attack? Or as a consequence of it?

I’ll say it again; write it! There’s nothing better than an idea you can’t get off your mind 🥰 I’m so curious now for it!!! Will you make it a peaky story?

Going to reply your other message tomorrow

Happy writing! Keep me updated xx

[unhonestlymirror]

Ahh I have a few Yoshioka thoughts I’d like 2 get off my chest, it’s more of an au though. Kind of inspired by your ‘unstoppable Shou & immovable Yoshioka’ post!

I like the idea that he wasn’t actually working for the 7th division at all, instead that he was hired by Toichiro to be a ‘body guard’ for Sho (actually hired to keep track of what Shou was doing & to keep him from causing trouble, but Yoshioka likes the kid & doesn’t give a damn about Claw so he just tells Toichiro what he wants to hear). OR he was hired by Shou’s mom so she could feel a little better about his safety? One of those 2…

Anyway; he teaches Shou a bunch of fighting & wrestling moves, encourages him about his drawing, helps him with his plans as much as he can, etc etc…

I imagine Toichiro would’ve finally figured it out & sent someone to take Yoshioka out somehow… Yoshioka probably stole a few of those anti-esper sprays & has his gun (plus the benefit of no aura to track), so he gets out alive, but he’s still badly hurt…

Omg that's a blockbuster plot🤯

WAIT, I COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT ANTI-ESPER SPRAYS' EXISTENCE

It means, they could just spill several tons of it on Toichiro? And on [???] Or does it only work on espers controlled by Toichiro? I don't really remember

I've also been thinking about Yoshioka slowly making connections with Shou unconsciously... This kid needs someone calm

[the-nightly-film]

December 22nd, 2024

I finished off today's Godzilla binge with two films that I've been building up to for over a year now.

Godzilla vs Mechagodzilla (1974): This one actually pretty much lived up to the hype. The human plotline was a slightly better interpretation of Godzilla vs Gigan just with apes instead of cockroaches. The bugs were funnier but I was slightly more invested in this plot as a whole. Of course I'm only really here for monster wrestling and I would like to formally thank the Ultraman franchise for making Toho feel like they had to up their game after a few clearly slapped together films.

Terror of Mechagodzilla (1975): This film was a bit boring again. It took too long for any real monster action to go down, but when it did happen it was pretty fun. I feel like this movie made excellent use of the Godzilla suite for the first time in awhile. I also like Titanosaurus's design. It's a shame we don't see them more in contemporary interpretations and homages.

[corneroffandom]

Weekly Writing Update #117 (September 30th, 2024)

It's been kind of a long week. I feel like I haven't done a lot, though in a way, I have, I just haven't finished anything is all. All of the weeklies got updated, I've made progress in a few other ideas, thought up new things, etc etc. I don't know, the weekend wasn't the best and kind of put a bad vibe over the rest of it. If that makes sense. I know I've accomplished some good things, though. As I've said, it's late and I'm tired so just gonna go and update everything and I'll be back next week. It's pretty much October now, which means I get to start planning for my original novel writing. Oh my.

Back to Basics: 378 World Wrestling Digidestined: 429 Encontrar una Manera: 311 Back to Earth: 375 Encontrar una Manera bonus story: 0 Weakness: 157 New Years 2023: 0 New Years 2024: 0 The Split: 0 Exhaustion: 0 Spiraling: 0 Strangers: 0 Searching: 0 Bringing Cheer: 0 Grief: 0 Here For You: 0 Ilja's Plan: 0 Bad Day: 0 Decompress: 0 Free Pass: 0 Introductions: 0 Never Easy: 0 Our New Home: 0 Reclaim: 0 Revenge: 0 Roommates: 0 Rough: 0 Safety: 0 Six Months: 0 Songs: 0 Curiosity: 0 Partners: 0 Challenge: 0 Poems: 255 Celebrate: 221 Scars: 217 The Cost: 99 Training: 181 One Wrong Step: 254 Addition: 92 Choices to Make: 315 Emptiness: 44 Family Dinner: 74 Sixteen: 0 Renatus: 0 Passenger: 0 Evidence: 0 Sensatus: 0 In total: 3402 Annual Word Count: 264475 New fic plot notes: 1 Team Work chapters booked: 0 Old fics uploaded to AO3: 0

Find me on Ko-fi at https://ko-fi.com/corneroffandom Any questions or comments, please let me know!

[fictionz]

New Fiction 2024 - January

"Osee" ed. Richard Challoner (1752)

I can't go back to check what Osee was on about. All you need to know about this phase of the bible is guys were prophesying, and pretty much every prophecy is about how the Hebrew people were fuckin' it up. This all feels like items in what should have been the appendix, but since I'm reading a Catholic bible it's all just filler until JC shows up. (And we're just under 70% after two solid years of gettin' through it.)

"Joel" ed. Richard Challoner (1752)

Another dull prophet.

This Gray Spirit by Heather Jarman (2002)

I want to love every DS9 book. It's a struggle to not enjoy them. But there's a trend here in the Mission Gamma series of trying to do Too Much. The last book was very long, but also very focused, and the premise of taking the Defiant out into the Gamma quadrant sounds fine until they do it again... and again... and again. And it gets to the point where I just don't care what they're doing. I want DS9--the setting--and its beloved cast of characters to do their thing there. I'll read on but this one really should have been two books instead of this A plot-B plot structure.

Divided We Fall by John J. Ordover, David Mack, Andrew Currie, Michael Collins, Richard Bennett, David Roach, John Nyberg, Jenna Garcia, WildStorm FX, Alex Sinclair, Jeff Mariotte (2001)

This one contrasted nicely against Revenant by Alex White. Both stories focus on Dax and how the Trill symbiont managers are real bad at transparency. The more I learn about this world, the more it sounds like a pretty clear caste system that should get them booted from the Federation. But then, I suffer the flaw of binary judgement, and there's probably some nuance there to consider.

Gargoyles the Movie Game dev. Buena Vista Home Video (1995)

Wow, this was the most broken version of Chutes and Ladders I've ever played. I recommend a house rule of doubling each number on the spinner if you want any chance at winning. The event cards are just so punishing and the strict time limit makes it a steep uphill battle.

Gargoyles Remastered dev. Walt Disney Computer Software & Empty Clip Studios (1995, 2023)

I had a problem with input lag in the original version that ruined my initial impression, but that was on me. Playing the remaster with no input lag and the extra features like updated art, music, and the rewind all added up to a more enjoyable, if short, experience. It's otherwise an interesting artifact from that transition out of 2D platformers and into chunky polygons and pre-rendered 3D visuals.

Gargoyles: Night Flight dev. Tiger Electronics (1995)

I've played a few of these mid-90s Tiger handhelds and it's fine for a car ride, which is where I always imagine these things were played at the time. It's so overly simple that I can't say it's worth playing, unlike the classic Game & Watch titles that had real challenge and replayability to them.

The Color Purple dir. Bazawule (2023)

I never caught the original movie or book, but this musical was great. And those events are some real fucked up trauma.

The Iron Claw dir. Sean Durkin (2023)

As period biopics go, this one's fine. Not too wild or revelatory, other than its highlighting a segment of the wrestling scene which I had no idea about. The performances were all solid and Ephron clearly committed to the role. The story is from that period of simpler costumes and narratives before my friends and I came aboard in the later 80s and 90s, so it was neat to understand a fictionalized buildup to the more familiar stories.

Poor Things dir. Yorgos Lanthimos (2023)

It was great, stylized, and I suppose does have an act structure but it feels a little loose with it, which I'm all for. It just doesn't match up to the amazing work in The Favorite.

Night Swim dir. Bryce McGuire (2024)

A snoozer, I'm afraid. The seed of it is interesting but it doesn't quite grow enough to make it compelling.

Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom dir. James Wan (2023)

Another snoozer. It's not as fun as the first one, and if these superhero things aren't fun then what're we doing here?

The Beekeeper dir. David Ayer (2024)

Yeah this was a rough stretch. Another action snoozer that maybe could have highlighted something interesting about exploitation of elders but just uses that as an excuse for Statham to go around punching dudes in a boring way.

I.S.S. dir. Gabriela Cowperthwaite (2023)

There's this particular subgenre of space movie where people are just out there in their tin cans, then they're stuck or screwed, and the drama plays out amid a desperate race to get out of that sitch. Hell, I will myself to sleep by conjuring a little scene I've developed where I'm out in my little space tug boat and need to shut down systems and go to sleep for the cycle. Gravity, Interstellar, and Life are all recent examples of this kind of movie that come to mind, and now we can add I.S.S. to that list. And I love these. I love space trouble. I ran into a bunch of these stories in my recent watch of The Outer Limits (1995), and I really can't get enough. I.S.S. has this uncomfortable angle on what if Earth annihilates itself, huh, smart guy? (Art reflecting reality, etc.) And that's a bummer to consider. But the story that plays out onboard the station is still neat and I would definitely watch this again.

Mean Girls dir. Samantha Jayne & Arturo Perez Jr. (2024)

Dug it! Maybe more than I did the original. Mostly because the musical sequences are great.

American Fiction dir. Cord Jefferson (2024)

Stories about writers can be a little too navel-gazey for me to handle, but I'm glad I caught this.

The Book of Clarence dir. Jeymes Samuel (2024)

It comes from the angle of true belief, so you have to buy into that going in, but the questions it raises and the general production all make it worth the watch. Plus, they tackle the question of why even is Jesus a white guy (well, we know why), so that makes it extra fun.

Battlestar Galactica - "Saga of a Star World" (1978)

Doofy? That's the word. Definitely of its time, but I'm gonna get through it all later this year.

The Twilight Zone - "Shatterday" (1985)

Ey Bruce Willis being moody before that was his brand. I watched the 60s version and now I feel obligated to see what issues of the day were popping up for 80s TV people.

Stargate SG-1 - "Children of the Gods" (1997)

Oh, okay, I didn't realize they were angling for the Showtime adult crowd with this. I was so used to the sanitized Saturday afternoon syndication version of the episodes. In any case, still a good start. Another show to watch in full later on.

Farscape - "Premiere" (1999)

Hm, more white guys as leads/captains isn't as appealing, but the puppety goodness of Henson aliens compels me to continue.

Fringe - "Pilot" (2008)

Holy shit, those first five minutes! I knew immediately I'd enjoy this show, whatever it's going to be. I heard enough good things that I figured I gotta.

Yellowstone - "Daybreak" (2018)

My mom wouldn't stop talking about this show so now I'll have to see what's what. So far it's Kevin Costner as an old asshole who raised his kids to also be assholes?

[melforbes]

sunday, 3am

“Gently,” she stressed.

Sitting on the sink-counter, she looked washed-out in the harsh fluorescent light of their bathroom, a little spatter of blood staining the shoulder of her light blue scrubs, her skin a wintery kind of pale and her freckles fading as though they’d been one of God’s afterthoughts. Her braid rested tattered and ripped down her spine, long red strands falling in front of the bruises on her cheek, and as he carded her hair back behind her ear, she flinched involuntarily, her shaky hands stilling on her lap, her breath hitching.

“It’s okay,” he whispered, the bag of ice in his hand hovering before her, his brain buzzing in the overtired way he used to feel accustomed to. If his circadian rhythms were reliable, then he and his body estimated that three in the morning, maybe half past, had come and gone. A long time ago, she’d told him that keeping lights on from the nighttime hours of ten-to-ten harmed the brain’s ability to produce melatonin, but he figured that light would be the least of their worries tonight.

Softly, she met his gaze, then looked back down at her lap.

“Sorry,” she said, wincing at the word. “I’m just...I’m still a little shaken up.”

He nodded, then gingerly brought the ice to her cheek, and though she recoiled at first, luckily she eased against his touch, let out a deep, exhausted breath.

“Is there any bleeding?” she asked, her voice muffled by the ice.

“None at all,” he said.

She swallowed, said, “The nurse there seemed like she was doing a great job of cleaning it.”

“And you’re absolutely sure you’re not concussed?” he asked as he leaned against the sink, the house around them so still and silent that it made the winter beyond them feel heavier and thicker than it already was. 

Looking up at him, she delicately pressed her lips together, said, “Had the nurse check. No headache or dizziness. I’m fine, Mulder.”

“Okay,” he said, nodding to himself. 

Though she avoided late shifts and preferred not to work on Saturdays, she’d been on a Saturday evening to Sunday morning emergency room shift, eight pm to eight pm, but a one am call let him know that a drunk patient, a punch to the face, and some police involvement meant that she would be coming home early. The last time he, in her words, went caveman left them both embarrassed and uncomfortable, but now, he wished he could’ve been there, could’ve watched over her and had her back so that some drunkard would’ve never decked her behind a modesty curtain, wouldn’t have had a chance to let her head thud against a sterile linoleum floor before punching her again. Though he wanted to think of this protectiveness as more than an ancient biological imperative, though he wished he didn’t find himself at fault for something so clearly irrelevant to his existence, he still brought Duane Barry and Phillip Padgett and all of the other men who had wronged her to mind, wondered once more if he could’ve done more. While at the Bureau, he could’ve argued that he was her partner, that it was of the utmost importance for them to watch each other’s backs, but now, he could hardly merit the wish.

And had he been there, he probably would’ve been decked too, only he would’ve cried about it instead of stoically driving home afterward like she did. Sometimes, he figured, the universe chose to punch the ones who could take it, not the ones who couldn’t.

“You’re never working a night shift again,” he said, hoping to elicit a laugh or at least a pained smile; thankfully, she reached toward him, wrapped her fingers in his open hand, kept her eyes down but let him know that she was present and receptive anyway. 

“I sure hope not,” she said, “but if they ever want me to, I’m sure that citing this incident will make them change their minds.”

Softly, he laughed, and though he figured it would hurt her to smile, the purplish and red smears of bruises on her cheeks keeping her from moving her face too much, she still quirked her lip, the movement minute but visible. 

“Did you have any Advil before you got home?” he asked.

“I had one before I left the hospital.” 

“Do you think you’ll be able to sleep?”

She sucked her lips in again, met his gaze, so he nodded in understanding. He figured neither or them would be getting much sleep tonight.

“Well,” he said, his voice turning theatrical, “I can offer some warm milk-”

“No hot liquids,” she said quickly. “Have to keep the swelling down.”

“Okay,” he said, off-put. There went his ideas for chamomile tea and maybe a warm bath in order to calm her down. “Then, cold water.”

“Thrilling.”

He squeezed her hand.

“What are you looking for, then?” he asked. “My mind goes numb after midnight.”

Taking a deep breath, she said, “A movie, something mindless. Just until we feel we could fall asleep.”

So she shed her blood-smeared scrubs and opted for pajamas and thick socks; while she migrated to the couch, held the ice against her more bluish cheek, he rifled through their bookshelf, found Sleepless in Seattle and liked the irony it provided, so he popped the tape in, the lights off in their living room, the fish tank fluorescent and bubbling in the background, the winter winds shifting the shutters on their fixer-upper farmhouse. He sat on her less-bruised side, and as she spread a shared blanket over their laps, he fast-forwarded coming attractions of many years ago, her two hands wrapping around his free one. While the movie began, he tuned Meg Ryan out and kept his eyes on her instead, tried to survey her body for telltale signs of stress. 

She’d told him long ago that she felt anxiety not in her mind but in her limbs, in her joints; while her thoughts told her to push forward, her body cringed and faded, her demise coming not from her will but from her physical breakdown, so he’d tried to be a constant for her, had kept track of her hours and made sure that, even when she seemed so determined to finish just one more stack of paperwork, she would go home for a good night’s rest instead. From those many times, he knew what to look for: raised shoulders, shaky hands, huffed breaths, glasses pushed up far more often than one would expect. However, tonight shifted that response because her breakdown had come from a patient, not from herself, so while she took shallow breaths during the movie, he traced his thumb against the back of her hand, let her lean into him with her face angled so that his shoulder and her bruises never quite made contact. As four am ticked past, he realized that he’d never watched this movie in full, but because he’d distracted himself during the first half of the film, he hadn’t a clue where the plot went.

“Scully?” he whispered, almost wincing at how his voice interrupted the special, rural silence around them. 

When she didn’t shift, he craned his neck, and though he should’ve been able to tell through her long, languid breaths against his chest, he only noticed that she’d fallen asleep when he looked down and saw her closed eyes. Reaching for the remote, he turned the television off, and with deft, gentle motions, he managed to lift her up without waking her - after all, she could sleep anywhere, from passenger’s seats of cheap rental cars to bleach-ridden motel beds to his old leather couch back before he’d been able to offer her a bed instead - and carried her upstairs though his aging joints protested with each step. 

Thankful that he’d left the bed unmade after she’d called, he managed to slip her beneath the overturned sheets on his side of the bed, tucked her in before he climbed in on the other still-made side. Out here, the nights were dark save for the endless lines of unobstructed stars in the sky, so he kept their bedroom’s blinds up, soft light falling over her bruising face, the rise and fall of her chest shifting the duvet while she slept. Her pillow smelled like that lavender shampoo she liked, and though the stuffing was too thick for him, he found that he could still relax into it, their respective alarm clocks off for now, her bedside book-stack dwindling as his seemed only to grow larger, her reading glasses askew and the closet door left open in a way that would’ve scared him as a child. 

And he presented himself with two lonely options: either he could work out hundreds of different scenarios that left her unscathed and him some kind of half-assed hero, or he could watch her soft breaths until their cadence lulled him to sleep. For once, he picked the second option and drifted off before morning began to creep through the windows.