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i-guess-im-into-this-now · 8 months ago

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The Apothecary Diaries

S1E11 First Watch

Here's where I watch The Apothecary Diaries for the first time and give my thoughts, analysis, predictions, and occasionally I stumble into a joke.

To start at the beginning:

Episode 1

My character/location cheat sheet

Lady Ah-Duo - Pure Consort, one of 4 top concubines

Garnet Pavilion - Lady Ah-Duo's residence

Fengming - Head LIW at Garnet Pavilion

Lady Lishu - child bride concubine

Jade Pavilion - Lady Gyokuyou's residence

Luomen - Maomao's physician father

No cryptic opening! Maomao is in a garden, examining a flower, and maybe this is one of those plants that she mentioned last episode. One of the medicinal plants that suspiciously grew both in the palace and in Luomen's own garden. Is she thinking of the secrets that her father has kept from her? Or how the machinations of the palace affected him?

Maomao goes to deliver a letter from Lady Gyokuyou to Lady Ah-Duo, but runs into Fengming, and I'm guessing that's why she is actually here. Maomao opens a box and shows her something that makes Fengming nervous. Maomao has figured out what has been going on in this pavilion and she's either here to confirm something or to offer her own form of justice.

If that's the case then I'm scared that she's doing this on her own. Aren't we still assuming that someone here tried to murder Lady Lishu? And wasn't the servant girl that worked here killed? Isn't it dangerous to confront these folk all on her own? Does she know something that I don't (she does), about these mysteries that makes her feel safe walking in alone?

The people of Garnet Pavilion have their luggage packed and are vacating because Lady Ah-Duo is about to be replaced.

Maomao confronts Fengming with what she has surmised. Lady Ah-Duo had her baby at the same time as the former empress and was unable to receive medical help during delivery. Something went catastrophically wrong if Maomao is correct, and Lady Ah-Duo lost the ability to bear children. Since Lady Ah-Duo was so injured after birth, Fengming cared for the newborn. Fengming made a critical mistake when she fed the infant honey and azalea (Oh that's the flower she was examining in the opening). The death was attributed as being due to the same poisonous powder that killed another newborn recently, but Luomen was blamed, labelled incompetent and expelled from the palace. Later Fengming learned that she was responsible when she heard Lady Lishu's story, but kept the truth hidden, and tried to keep distance between Lady Ah-Duo and Lady Lishu, who had developed a bond. Fengming tried to eliminate Lady Lishu by poisoning her soup.

Fengming denies none of it and simply asks:

What may I ask do you want?

Justice asshole!

But really, what is Maomao trying to achieve here? She isn't trying to blackmail Fengming. If she really wanted to do something about this, couldn't she just tell Jinshi and let him handle this? What does Maomao gain by going directly to Fengming with this? It seems dangerous.... is she trying to see if Fengming would kill someone for discovering this secret? Trying to see if this is what happened to the servant girl who was killed?

Fengming feels incredible guilt over what happened to the baby. She witnessed Lady Ah-Duo's grief. And devoted herself completely to her concubine.

Maomao: I can't relate. I don't have it in my heart to let anyone that close to my own.

Girl, we noticed. But that is Maomao's character arc! I've talked before about her fear of vulnerability, I just didn't know she was aware of it.

I've been thinking about Maomao a lot (obv, I'm writing blogs on every episode), and something has been slowly becoming more and more apparent. She doesn't think very highly of herself.

Oh sure she's assertive in how she acts with others, but that's only because she typically only speaks on topics she is certain on. She consistently declines to talk about gossip, and routinely resist talking about conjectures. Jinshi is sometimes an exception. Maomao knows what she knows about medicine and draws a line where her expertise ends. So when she speaks, she speaks with confidence and we get the impression she is a confident person.

But I don't think that's the whole story. I think she views herself in how she can help others. She only is valuable because she can serve others. If she couldn't do that, then what good is she? And even as an apothecary she doesn't take pride. She believes she's subpar, because she compares herself to her father.

I don't think she sees herself as inherently worthwhile.

We hear it quietly in off hand comments sometimes, like when she was talking about Lady Lihua having a large chest and she says that she herself isn't blessed that way.

We see it in big ways like self harm and suicidal ideation.

We see it a whole lot in how she relates to Jinshi.

Maomao: Please, I'm of lowly birth. It's not right for you to touch me. [Episode 6]

She really thinks she isn't worth his attention.

So she's going to need to learn to love herself for more than what she can provide to others before she can accept that others love her too.

But she does better when she's surrounded by people who truly love and appreciate her, like the ladies of the Jade Pavilion. And Jinshi too. On his good days, he's a great influence on her. I like the ways he makes her comfortable enough to share her thoughts, supports her, and appreciates her. He's giving her some desperately needed validation. And what is love if not feeling seen and valued? Our girl will get there eventually.

Maomao: Once he hears my story, Master Jinshi will surely apprehend Fengming. There's no way she wouldn't be executed. The woman is smart, and surely she already knows this.

Then Maomao offers to take her two motives and make them into one. I wonder what she's doing. Lady Ah-Duo watches Maomao walk away, turns out she wasn't out of the pavilion as Fengming had claimed after all. I wonder if she heard all of that.

Maomao is exhausted from the stress of all the emotions she's been navigating all day, and the weight of the choice she has to make next. Turns out she was prepared in case Fengming had tried to stab her. She really walked in to a situation where she thought she could have died. And for what? What did she achieve today?

My guess is that she needed to confirm her theories before she brought them to Jinshi, because the stakes were too high for her to be wrong. If Maomao's theory had a flaw in it, and Fengming was executed because of it... well Maomao couldn't risk that. So she walked in there, knowing she could be attacked or killed, to get the truth. Holy shit Maomao.

Jinshi is also tired. Fengming handed herself in. I'm sure he's happy to get to the bottom of this case but it's yet another thing for him to deal with. And maybe he hoped that there was some other explanation that wouldn't require him to execute Fengming.

Jinshi asks if Maomao knew about it, she denies it. I'm sure he already knew she was involved before he asked and I'm sure she knows that he knows. So this little exchange is just a testing of the waters. With Jinshi saying are you ready to open up to me yet? And Maomao saying nope. The whole conversation Jinshi's keeps pushing, keeps giving her opportunities to tell him the truth. He never gives up on her. But she has locked every door he tries open.

We find out that Lady Ah-Duo was already scheduled to leave the palace to go to an imperial villa. Jinshi thinks Fengming's motive is odd.

Oh Hongniang came by earlier and brought some flowers? I'm sure it was just a meaningless gift for the palace manager and not an excuse to spend time with Gaoshun.

Maomao starts sucking on a flower so Jinshi does too. Then she tells him it's poisonous. Just because Maomao eats something doesn't mean it's safe! Which is actually hilarious, because she is a food taster.

Maomao explains that she convinced Fengming to say the baby's death and the attempt to poison Lady Lishu were due to the same cause, which was trying to secure Lady Ah-Duo's position as a favored concubine. I don't quite get how that motive explains the baby's death, but I'm just going to roll with it.

Jinshi goes to Lady Ah-Duo to talk about Fengming. He's going to have to execute her, but she was a well respected companion to Lady Ah-Duo. I think it is kind that he is taking time to have this difficult conversation with Lady Ah-Duo. Jinshi never shies away from a situation because it's hard, and I think that's admirable.

But also, this is SO his mom! I know I said that about the dowager empress, and I was dead wrong. In my defense, the empress also has the same coloring as these two. But, Lady Ah-Duo, she even wears her hair up in the same style. And there was a whole scene in an earlier episode about how Jinshi wouldn't spend time in a concubine's room alone with them, but here he is, perfectly comfortable doing just that. She's his mother, and he knows that, and probably other people know that too, since he's not afraid of getting busted. I'm dying to see how Jinshi relates to the emperor and empress.

Maomao is feeling guilty. She's done the right thing, but someone was executed because Maomao got involved and she's struggling to accept that. She climbs up on the wall. This is the same place that Lady Ah-Duo's lady fell to her death to drown in the moat. This wall which represents the boundary between the cage of the palace and death in the moat. I don't think it's a coincidence that Maomao is here. Is Fengming's execution justice for the girl who died?

Lady Ah-Duo meets Maomao up there. She probably has a lot o her mind since her head lady in waiting was just executed for killing her child, and attempting to kill Lady Lishu whom she has a fond relationship with. Plus she's leaving the palace tomorrow. Perhaps she wanted to come up to the wall one last time before she leaves forever.

Lady Ah-Duo tells us she never wanted to be a concubine and questions why she clung to it for so long. Her relationship with the emperor was that of a friend rather than a concubine. Maomao thinks that Lady Ah-Duo would be saying the same thing to anyone whom she may have come upon on the wall this night. I disagree. I think Lady Ah-Duo is a lot more aware of who Maomao is then she is letting on. I think she overheard the conversation between Fengming and Maomao the day of the confrontation. So Lady Ah-Duo has Maomao to thank for uncovering the truth about a couple of things. But also. Since I'm assuming Lady Ah-Duo is Jinshi's mother, there is also the possibility that she knows a whole lot more about Maomao, having heard it all from Jinshi himself.

I see. Lady Ah-Duo is up her for the same reason as Maomao, which is to remember the servant girl who died. Turns out even a servant girl's life mattered to someone in the palace. She didn't just disappear without a care. I wonder if Maomao will take this to heart, if it might help to ease the black mood we saw from her a couple of episodes ago.

But her death was a suicide. She killed herself this way so as to keep suspicion from Lady Ah-Duo. Perhaps Fengming even helped her. Lady Ah-Duo knew how the girl died. She calls her a "fool" but cries and says "we all are." This entire story arc demonstrates the desperate choices people make under pressure, and what they are willing to sacrifice.

The servant girl's suicide is the most prominent example of acting out of desperation, but every character in this arc has their own version of this. Fengming in what she has done to cover up the truth of Lady Ah-Duo's baby's death. Lady Ah-Duo with her clinging on to her position in the palace. Maomao in her need to figure out what happened to the servant girl. Even Jinshi in his desire to connect with Maomao.

Maomao is coming down the wall when she is startled by Jinshi. She falls, into his lap. And... is Jinshi... drunk? She tries to get up, but he hugs her.

Oh Jinshi. If we needed another example of desperation here it is. Tears fall as he asks Maomao for warmth, just for a little while.

Jinshi has been unraveling for awhile now (See previous posts). He's lonely, overworked, and overwhelmed. And now he is overcome with emotions. Plus, he's just had to execute someone today. And his mom is leaving. Yet another loss from his ever shrinking circle of support. It's been a rough time for our dude.

I don't know what was happening with him and Lady Ah-Duo, I'm guessing they were drinking about how shitty the day was or maybe saying goodbye since she's about to leave. I wonder why Lady Ah-Duo wanted to get him so drunk, and then left him in her room to wait for her. When she returns, she tells him she's satisfied now. What does that mean? Oh! Is she saying she approves of Maomao?! Then she threw him out. Maybe, so that he could have a serendipitous encounter with his sweetheart? Is Lady Ah-Duo on team JinMao? I am choosing to believe yes!

In any case he's drunk and his will to keep holding back his emotions from Maomao has bottomed out. This one person with whom he feels some kind of connection with just fell into his arms, and no, he's not letting her go right now.

So, he squeezes her tighter and she settles in, willing to tolerate this breach this time. Allowing him to touch her is a line she tried not to cross, but she's not willing to enforce her boundary this time. Her boundaries are there because she's afraid she's unworthy, and she's afraid that getting involved with Jinshi could lead to trouble, and she's afraid to be vulnerable. Those boundaries aren't there because she doesn't care. In fact, it's because she cares, that she breaks her them down tonight. To deny him in this moment would be cruel. And she's not willing to hurt him, even if it means she has to be a bit vulnerable herself. Her boundaries were never meant to hurt other people. They were there to protect herself. If the choice is between protecting someone else and risking herself she will choose to endanger herself every time, she's consistently self-sacrificing.

It's a major step forward for both of them, and I'm extremely interested to see if the boundaries will go back up the next time they meet or if this wall that just came down can't be re-erected.

Also, props to Jinshi for asking for exactly what he needs. Maomao is terrified of being vulnerable, but Jinshi is fearless. They are both such fascinating characters.

Lady Ah-Duo gives back her crown to symbolize her official retreat from the palace. Maomao is seeing Jinshi and Lady Ah-Duo side by side and it hits her that they are mother and son. And boy doesn't that have a lot of ramifications.

Maomao surmises that Lady Ah-Duo's baby was switched with the empress's child. Perhaps Lady Ah Duo did it to ensure her child would be safe. Turns out that was a justified fear since the baby in her care did die. Maomao thinks that someone may have found out about the switch after the baby was dead and held Luomen accountable for not noticing the switch. It also explains the odd position of the emperor's brother. And why Lady Ah Duo stayed around the palace so long despite not wanting to be a concubine. And Jinshi must know too because he stayed around drinking with her.

Maomao: What complete nonsense. I'm disappointed for even thinking of it.

Same, Maomao. Same. It's exactly how I feel about all of my theories, and this blog in general. But unlike me, Maomao is rarely wrong, so I'm counting this as proof!

Lady Lishu is crushed that the only maternal figure in her life is leaving, but it does look like her food taster may be be on her side now.

Maomao walks away from the scene, which is closing out so many of the mysteries that were unsolved. And I can't help but notice that there are clouds gathering on the horizon. Foreshadowing.

I don't know what the last scene between Gaoshun and Jinshi means. But the storm has arrived, so I know this is a turning point.

Gaoshun: Fengming's kin, and those connected.

Jinshi: *sigh* She told me she was kidnapped and sold off, but...

What does it mean that Maomao's name is among those of Fengming's family and associates? I only have one theory and I don't like it. My theory is that the emperor had a relationship with Fengming and that Maomao is the bastard child of that relationship. Hidden and removed from the palace for... reasons. But I don't believe that theory myself, if the emperor hid that, then it wouldn't be coming up now. I'm returning to my theory that "the annex" will hold the answer to who Maomao's parents are. And now that I think about it, why would Jinshi mention the kidnappers here? Are the kidnappers part of Fengming's family? What will happen to Maomao because of this? Is she to be punished? How will Jinshi handle that?!

What I really need are more scenes with the emperor so I can get a sense of that person. So much of this story revolves around him (harem story duh), yet he's not actually around all that often. I'm so intrigued to know how he and Jinshi relate to one another. Let me into that emperor's head already!

At least now we don't have to pretend we don't know Jinshi is a prince. We don't know for sure who is father is. I'm going to guess he's not the current emperor's child otherwise his position in the palace would be as a future heir, and not the ambiguous position he holds now. As it is, he's being presented as the emperor's younger brother, which considering the emperor has no legitimate heirs, I think that would make him the crown prince. At least in name, if not in blood.

And Maomao may think her theory is wild, but now that she's thought it, I wonder how it will affect how she behaves around Jinshi. If she thought he was too far above her as a eunuch official, what will she think now that she suspects him of being the crown prince? Also, surely she'll realize now that he is not indeed at eunuch. The empire would not castrate their prince. Will that realization impact Maomao?

I can tell we are at a turning point in the story. Early storylines have been all resolved, and the characters have completed their first arcs. We're ready to move into the next challenges. Frankly I'm super excited.

To start at the beginning of these blogs:

Chapter 1

Next Chapter

Chapter 12

#the apothecary diaries #apothecary diaries #maomao #jinshi #jinmao

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fraudulent-cheese · 4 months ago

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I really wanna hear about the skave one(12.)

OH BOYYYY

I'll get this one out of the way immediately. I hate them as a couple.

Ok hate's a little strong? To me, wanting them to be a couple is missing the goddamn point, on top of being an insanely boring outcome and doing the exact thing the ship subverts in canon. No hate to skave shippers, i just dont like this ship as an actual couple.

HOWEVER. As the train wreck they are in canon? Ignoring Lies, Cries and One Big Prize for a second - they rule. Awesome, nearly no notes. I love that they're doomed from the start of their actual romantic advances, that their flaws prevented them from getting in a relationship, hell i'd argue the superficial nature of their crushes is a good thing here since it reinforces both how this relationship wasn't gonna work out AND it feeds into each character's main flaw: a lack of communication.

Neither Dave nor Sky are great at telling the other what they want, and endlessly run on assumssions based on their own expectations and narratives; Sky thinks Dave would understand the competition comes first but Dave isn't doing that, while Dave is convinced Sky wants him bad for half the season and pines very hard after her for multiple challenges. Hell, this lack of communication/ignoring boundaries on Dave's end is set up perfectly by the first actual conversation they have! Sky opens up about her family's history and why she's training for the olympics... And he hasn't listened to a word she said. And then U-turns the conversation to liking her (according to my own recollection, maybe im missremembering). They both have apparent "quirks" related to how they communicate/react to liking someone else that would inhibit good communication for fucks sakes! They were doomed! And i love that! They're both trainwrecks in romance (especially Dave dear god) and it's so, so satisfying to watch it finally grumble by episode 9.

I love how Dave's cockiness is born out of him following the advice Shawn gave him last episode to an extreme, again showing that he's just going off on the assumption on how a "winner" acts. And then! Sky! Tells! Him! Off! Literally my favorite moment of the episode. If reality TV wouldn't let them reconcile i am glad it let Dave pathetically try to get over/get back at Sky while the girl completely brushes him off and really asserts her boundaries. I also like Dave outright eliminating himself afterwards (i dont get why Sky was in the bottom 2 tho...) because like! He would do that! He's only staying here because he's got a crush on the idea of Sky and now it's been destroyed, ofc dude wants out!

...and then the finale happened. Ughhhh why did they do them like thattttt

Look, im still making the tdpi video, but it's been put on the serious backburner since i am in medical school and have very limited access to my computer. But i have an entire paragraph about how i dont like how skave was handled in the finale, i've yapped about it before on here, how it mischaracterises Sky, how the Boyfriend Back Home reveal sucks ass, how Dave's reaction feels like the writters being desperate for an antagonistic force in the finale when Chris is right here, ect... Im not going there again. TLDR, i really dont like it.

Uh if you want more thoughts about them in canon, i'd recommend reading this post by @/leonave since it's really good. Anyways

NOW FOR WHAT I WANTED FOR MY REWRITE.

Now the thing is that i dont think there's much wrong with the start of the season. This applies to the set-up of Sky and Dave's dynamic; Dave crushing on Sky because she helped him makes sense with the way he seems to view her, and the way their crushes feel so artificial (ESPECIALLY on Sky's end) is actually beneficial to the direction i wanted to go with them - namely, that Sky isn't really crushing on Dave and Dave realises how superficial his crush was. And wasn't as intense as he thought it was. Obviously the conversation is a little awkward - Dave still wouldn't take rejection well, but is also trying to be supportive because he does like talking to Sky and also he basically just came on international television by accident and Dave isn't that terrible of a person - and they wouldn't be on good terms for a bit, but they would resolve the conflict and actually become friends afterwards. Eventually. They're still not great at communication and are also dealing with confusing emotions on reality TV.

uhhh idk what else to add to this post so uh. Here's Sky and Dave friendship propaganda with some yuri added ontop lol

#Again i he/himed sky during the rewrite section because sky is transmasc in the AU #i haven't thought about my tdpi rewrite in a little while but im glad i could talk about it again :D #td sky #td dave #tdpi #tdpi rewrite #mozzaskrella #ask game #Total drama #string cheesing

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itskeej · 10 months ago

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draw the vampire squad I need to see them noW

(fun fact I'm that one anon that asked for ur OC lore cuz I don't have toyhouse lmao I still don't)

well. there they are. some info that i do got about each under the cut:

Victor

The eldest physically, but the youngest vampire.

Ex-priest. He's perpetually pissed off at Luciano for turning him, as he can no longer step foot inside of a church without it hurting him gravely.

Very bitter about the fact his soul was (probably) saved yet he still exists like this. The entire vampire bit is a struggle for him, to put it mildly...

He has totally prayed before a meal of blood only to accidentally bless it, essentially poisoning himself. He has never done it again since.

He is also the reason Luciano has his cross-shaped scar on his forehead! The first time they met, Victor freaked out and smacked him in the forehead with it. It was night time, dark, and his glowing eyes scared the shit out of Victor. It was the first thing he thought of—

Often tries to avoid hunting until the last possible second, right before his hunger-induced bloodlust kicks in. He hates being a vampire that deeply, so he puts it off as much as he can.

Somehow, he's the strongest vampire of the bunch, much to Jacyn's dismay. It feels like Victor has wasted potential. While the others get moody and a little more violent when starved, Victor turns into a whole other man entirely. You'd think that'd be enough convincing for him to keep himself fed on time, but apparently not...

Jacyn

The eldest vampire. He's been around the longest. It shows in his skin with how sickly it appears. Luciano likes to bug him about it.

Definitely let himself get turned thinking immortality would solve some problems of his (it did not). What problems? I've yet to work that one out.

Very much wants power. He's sort of "asserted" himself as the head of their dysfunctional house, it sporting his last name. None of them really care, so it wasn't much of a fight.

Believes humans to be beneath immortal beings. Their mortality places them a step below someone like him. This was not the belief he held before wanting to turn, though.

Much more violent than the other three solely due to not being afraid of getting his hands dirty. He likes to play to his natural strengths, and blood-drinkers... well, they have inhuman levels of natural strength.

Luciano

Second youngest vampire.

As probably very evident by now, he's quite the pest. He's always poking his nose into other people's business or making playful (or what he believes to be playful, at least) jabs at the others. He's quite fond of Victor, while Victor... it's complicated. He hates him, but he feels like he needs to get used to him being around.

Vain... his appearance physically is one of the most important things to him. Dirty his clothes and he'll kill you. Maybe even literally, depending on the garment. Arguably his biggest downfall—he's cried to Hellena about a torn cloak before, to paint a better picture.

Very care-free attitude. He's often out mingling with the night-life of their town.

He views humans like fodder, often referring to them as such and treating them the same way a human would speak about animals.

Drank the blood of someone on drugs once... never again. Not because he'd mind doing it again, but because none of the house knew how to handle a high vampire.

Hellena

Second eldest vampire and second eldest physically.

The easiest tolerated by Victor. The two of them will sometimes sit and talk.

LITERALLY THE MOST SANE IN THIS GODFORSAKEN HOUSE. Between Victor's constant self-loathing, Jacyn's desire for violence, and Luciano... being Luciano, she's so incredibly normal about things.

Drinks her blood though fancy cups! Instead of feeding all at once, she spaces it out. She just prefers it that way, hehe.

She's not sure what she's going to do with her eternity... it's depressing to her, the time she has set out before her. So, quietly, she's trying to find a sense of purpose, a personal journey that's been going on for many, many years.

Sometimes she feels like she's parenting the rest of them. It's exhausting... but, admittedly, humerous. If anything else, she's content to make sure the other three don't somehow manage to kill themselves.

Despite her appearance, she's not that worried about things like ruining her clothes. Possessions and the like are easily replaced and fixed.

Smokes cigarettes. Her lungs don't suffer. She used to as a human and that habit carried over.

As you can see, Victor is definitely the most fleshed out so far LMAO, he's the first one I made and the first I've done rp with among friends, so I've got more knowledge about him. u_u

The others, I'll have more detailed info for in time! >:)

#keej answers #tumblr ask #anonymous #original characters #ocs #my oc #my ocs #vampire #vampire oc #dark prometheus #clip studio paint #my art #artists on tumblr

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the-darkness-does-not-bargain · 11 months ago

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WIP... Wednesday

I was tagged by @askweisswolf for this, so thank you 😊. Here's the latest bit from T Boy au I've been working on. I'll also tag @godsweakestsoldier @estherthenormal @abysskeeper and @willowedhepatica . If you guys are interested 🙂

////

Lilith was her only lifeline here. They made eye contact over the shoulder of a long-winded oil baron, and Beatrice silently begged her for help, getting a small nod in return. Her friend marched away from the corner she was lurking in and straight toward her, grabbing a flute of champagne off a passing waiter’s tray. Beatrice eyed her with a touch of wariness, noticing a hint of mischief in her leonine face.

The oil baron was half-way through a rant about the Paris Accord by the time she stood at his shoulder. Beatrice thought she knew what was about to happen next. Lilith would upturn the flute on the man’s back, ruin his designer suit, and maybe shoulder-check him with a little too much force for good measure. Then she would spew a flurry of simpering apologies until he begged off to clean up, freeing Beatrice from his presence.

Apparently, she didn’t know Lilith’s playbook as well as she thought, because a torrent of ice-cold liquid splashed onto her front instead. “Ah!”

“Oh, I’m so sorry, Beatrice!” Lilith could be a brilliant actress when she wanted to be. Beatrice knew this well. Her particular brand of abrasive, uncomfortable charm came in handy all the time, as did her penchant for skullduggery. “Oh, I’ve made a mess of you, this won’t do at all!” Her hands fluttered ineffectually over the front of Beatrice’s gown before she turned a razor-gleam smile on the baron. “I apologize for my interruption, Mr. Simmonds. Would you mind terribly if I borrow Beatrice to get cleaned up?”

The man winced subtly under her repellant stare and cleared his throat awkwardly. “Yes, of course, you’re quite right to. Thank you for your time, Ms. Young.”

“Lovely to speak with you,” Beatrice said robotically, already distracted by Lilith’s hand wrapping around her bicep to pull her away. Once they were out of earshot, however, she scowled at Lilith. “That was hardly necessary.”

Lilith shrugged, lips ticking upward. “Maybe not, but it was funny. And what’s the harm? It’s not as if you like that dress.”

Beatrice huffed, but could not refute the assertion. “Still, what am I supposed to do now? Can’t exactly dab this up with a hand towel, can I? And I can’t go back out there with champagne down my front.”

“Go home,” her friend responded casually.

“What?”

They stopped just in front of the restroom door, a thin thing painted an inoffensive ecru. Lilith’s sharp eyes scanned the ballroom once before speaking in a hushed tone. “Just leave, Bea. I’ve given you an out, so go home and stop puttering about in this purgatory.”

“And just what will my parents say to that?”

“I’ll tell them,” she said. “I’ll apologize profusely and then distract them by talking about law school. Easy as anything.”

Beatrice sighed, considering this offer. She wouldn’t deny how tempting it was. The chance to bail out early and have some genuine alone time at home was too good to pass up. And if Lilith was so willing to help, then…

“Fine,” she conceded quietly. “I’ll text Danil to pick me up.”

“Good,” Lilith responded, satisfied. “You should probably still try dabbing with a hand towel. At least so you don’t drip all over the back seat.”

Beatrice rolled her eyes. “You’re an ass, you know that?”

“Now, Beatrice, I think you can show a little more gratitude than that.”

She rolled them again. “Thank you, I suppose.”

Lilith hummed. “Needs work, but I’ll accept it. Now sod off.”

#tag meme #t boy ava au #lilith is a good friend #but if she knew what this would allow bea to go do #(have phone sex with ava)#i doubt she would have helped so happily #my writing

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cosmic-kinglet · 2 years ago

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Well, this was unexpected!

It seems that Solar Flare wasn't actually dead. He's certainly been watching everything play out, considering he brought up Sun's slew of insults toward Eclipse. I might just have to draw him for doing so much to hold Eclipse back behind the scenes!

Eclipse has apparently had a new body in the works for some amount of time, but Solar Flare isn't going to let him use that body without taking himself along and potentially killing them both.

Something Solar Flare said made me think of a point that I very vaguely hinted at quite a while back; Eclipse always seems to find a way to make things go wrong for himself. He really could easily just destroy everyone and everything he hates in an instant, but he chooses not to. Though, that also could be because of his fear of being alone and forgotten. There's also the fact that every single one of his creations has ended up turning against him for different reasons. Bloodmoon was too aggressive and uncontrollable, with added hatred toward Eclipse for making them bloodthirsty. Lunar was made to be more passive to avoid what happened with Bloodmoon, but this also led him to eventually realizing how cruel Eclipse was and that he could find happiness elsewhere. Then, there was Solar Flare; with no emotions or personality programmed in, surely there was no way for him to turn. Except the one thing that WAS programmed into him was the requirement to protect someone Eclipse eventually wanted to get rid of. Along with maybe having some part of himself deep down that WANTS him to fail, he also believes he can manipulate anyone he wants in whatever way he wants. What he doesn't seem to ever realize is that he isn't nearly as clever or convincing in his deception as he thinks he is.

He also has the desire to be number one. It's the reason he began to hate KC when he took charge of things. We still see that desire now; he said he needs to do something to "assert [himself] as dominant again". Again, he fears being alone and forgotten, and that's why he's going to keep pushing himself further and further into his own destruction.

Based on him saying he's going to give a "false sense of hope", I can think of two things that might mean. It might mean that we won't be seeing him again for quite a while; he may lay low to try and make Sun and Moon think that he's too weak to do anything, or that he's just succumbed to the Star's power and died. The other possibility is that he may come literally crawling to them and pleading to them to help him be good. He might try to act as though he wants that redemption arc until their guards are lowered, hence the false sense of hope. That could go a few ways. Sun and Moon could deny him outright, which honestly seems like the most likely outcome. They could decide to cautiously give him a chance, but then later see through him because no version of Eclipse is nearly as good at acting as they like to think they are. They could decide to give him a chance, but not see through him, causing Eclipse to succeed in his eventual betrayal. It could also be that it starts purely as an act, but he slowly does start to actually come around. I guess there's some hope in the fact that only one of those outcomes actually ends in a big betrayal.

I'm gonna be honest, I could go on for a lot longer (especially since there are other things brought up in this video alone that I could talk about), but I think I've rambled enough for one post.

#the sun and moon show

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fox-the-artist-fruit-canid · 1 year ago

Text

More incorect quotes babyyy!

---

Mis, about Toxik: Apparently we’re getting someone new in the team.

Cherry: Are we stealing them?

Saeri: New or used?

Mis: Wonderful responses, both of you.

---

Eco: Yo is Mis sleeping or dead?

Sai: Hopefully dead, I hated their guts.

Kira: Yeah, so did I.

Mis: Okay first of all, fuck you-

---

*Mis's helping Sai out after they get injured, while the others are watching*

Eco: How does Sai look?

Kira: A little better than you, actually.

---

Mis: Is stabbing someone immoral?

Sai: Not if they consent to it.

Kira: Depends who you’re stabbing.

Eco: YES?!?

---

(The saga of the crackship continues)

Cherry: Why are your tongues purple?

Mis: We had slushies. I had a blue one.

Toxik: I had a red one.

Cherry: oh

Cherry:

Cherry: OH

Saeri:

Saeri: You drank each other's slushies?

---

Arax: Listen, I can explain...

Kira: You’re making $500,000 and you’re only gonna pay me $30,000?

Sai: You’re getting 30 grand? I’m getting $1,000!

Mis: You guys are getting paid?

---

*Mis is cooking*

Sai: Any chance that’s for me?

Mis: It’s for Eco and Take. I’m planning on making some bad choices tonight, and I need them on my side.

Kira: I never realized the forethought that went into being a disappointment.

---

Mis: You are now one day closer to eating your next plate of nachos.

Sai: That's the most hopeful thing I've ever heard.

Kira: But what if I die tomorrow and never eat any nachos?

Eco: Then tomorrow is nacho lucky day.

---

Eco n take: You know those things will kill you, right?

Sai, pouring another glass of whiskey: That’s the point.

Kira, smoking a cigarette: We’re trying to speed up the process.

Mis: *Nods while eating raw cookie dough*

---

Mis: *Screams*

Sai: *Screams louder to assert dominance*

Eco: Should we do something?!

Kira, observing: No, I want to see who wins this.

---

Mis: On a scale from “damn Daniel” to “fre sha vaca do”, how are you feeling?

Sai: In between “it’s an avocado, thanks” and “how did you defeat Captain America”, but as a solid answer I would say “I don’t need a degree to be a clothing hanger”. How about you, Kira?

Kira: Probably “road work ahead”.

Eco: I speak many languages, and this is none of them.

---

Eco: I think we're missing something.

Sai: Teamwork?

Kira: Cohesion?

Mis: A general sense of what we’re doing?

---

Mis, setting down a card: Ace of spades

Sai, pulling out an Uno card: +4

Kira, pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you

Toxik, trembling: What are we playing

---

Mis: We need more help. Maybe I should call my friends.

Sai: ... Your what?

Mis: My friends.

Kira: Are they saying “friends”?

Eco: I think they're being sarcastic.

Take: No, no, no, this is delirium, they've cracked from being awake all night. Hey, Mis! All of your friends are in this room.

Mis: I have other friends! You asked me to make new friends, I made new friends! It was a task. I complete tasks.

---

Mis: Are we really going to let Take keep Toxik?

Eco,Sai n Kira: We kept Saeri.

---

Take: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the items you have lost throughout your life

Sai: Self-esteem, haven't seen you in years!

Mis: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this!

Eco: I knew I lost that potential somewhere!

Kira: My moral code, is that you?

Take:

Take: I was just gonna show you this cool trunk my mother left me but do you guys need a hug?

---

Take: You're a loose cannon, Mis.

Mis: No, I'm not. I'm a cannon maybe, but a loose cannon? Is that what you think of me?

Kira: I think you play by your own rules.

Eco: No way, they think rules were made to be broken.

Take: Those are all attributes of a loose cannon.

Mis: No, I'm just a reckless renegade. Sai is a loose cannon.

Sai: *smashes a chair*

---

Eco: Is having a p[cuak]nis fun?

Sai: It has its ups and downs.

Mis: Sometimes it’s a little hard.

Kira: It’s a pain in the ass.

Take: Oh, Jesus, fuck, guys, come on.

---

Kira: We’ve been conducting an ongoing study to see what Mis will and will not eat.

Sai: Grass? Yes!

Kira: Moss? Yes!!

Sai: Leaves? Ohh, yes!

Kira: Shoelaces? Strange but true!

Sai: Worms? Sometimes!

Kira: Rocks? Usually nah.

Sai: Twigs? Usually!

Kira: Take's cooking? Inconclusive!

Eco: How did you… test this?

Kira: You just hand them stuff and say ‘eat this’ and if they eat it, they eat it.

Eco: ... I don’t know how to feel about this.

Take: IS THAT WHERE ALL MY SPARE SHOELACES WENT?

---

Mis: I’ve done a lot of dumb stuff.

Eco: I witnessed the dumb stuff.

Kira: I recorded the dumb stuff.

Sai: I joined in on the dumb stuff.

Take: I TRIED TO STOP YOU FROM DOING THE DUMB STUFF!!!

---

Mis, trying to convince Toxik to join the chaos insurgency: You know... I thought it'd be good to have someone come along who's really... strong!

Y: And loud!

Koi: And grumpy!

Saeri: And oblivious to reality!

Toxik:

---

Mis: You kidnapped nix and ninf? That’s illegal!

Saeri: But Mis, what’s more illegal? Briefly inconveniencing them, or destroying our dreams?

Mis: Kidnapping announcers, saeri!!!

Y: Mis, listen, whatever I may think of you right now- these guys are counting on you to inspire them!

Mis: What, to kidnap people?!?!

Y: To work together!

Mis: TO KIDNAP PEOPLE?!?!?!?!

Koi: Mis, we all agreed an announcer is a not a people.

---

Mis: What did you guys get in your yearbook?

Kira: 'Prettiest Smile'

Eco: 'Nicest Personality'

Sai: 'Most likely to start a bar fight'

Take: 'Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one'

---

Mis: Favorite horror movie?

Sai: It

Kira: Saw

Take: Annabelle

Eco: High School Musical. after watching it I spent all my middle school years terrified that the entire school would start singing something and I’d be the only one who didn’t know the lyrics

---

Mis: That's it, we're gonna go out and find what we need!

Eco: To the city?

Mis: Yeah, no matter what!

Take: Well- How exactly do you propose we do that, exactly?

Mis: I... I don't know!

Kira: Oh come off it, be serious!

Mis: I am serious!

Kira: You're insane!

Sai: Why, if only we were all wiener dogs, our problems would be solved!

Everyone:

Mis: What???

Sai: Or maybe it was a basset hound!

Kira, panicked: YOU'RE ALL INSANE!

---

Take: What does 'take out' mean?

Sai: Food.

Eco: Dating

Kira: Murder

Mis: IT CAN MEAN ALL THREE IF YOU'RE NOT A COWARD.

---

Sai: Why isn’t the statue smirking at me?

Kira: It isn’t smirking at anyone, they’re all just imagining it.

Mis: Three of us saw it, Kira. How do you explain that?

Kira: *points at Take* Sleep deprivation. *points at Eco* Paranoia. *points at Mis* Delusional personality disorder.

---

Mis: So uhhh... my question is: my friend keeps on going into the pantry and grabbing handfuls of fettuccine... uncooked...

Sai: I would hope they're not grabbing handfuls of cooked fettuccine!

Take: In your pantry!

Mis: Yeah... and eating them raw, and they keep calling them 'chips'. ... How do I make them stop?

Sai: Is your friend here?

Mis, motioning to Saeri: Yeah.

Sai, to Sai: You're a monster! Words MEAN things! >:(

Kira: Does anybody remember- I haven't been to Olive Irk in many moons- but they DO have a like- fettuccine bottle that you can just- grab em out of and chew-

Kira: HOLD ON. WAS THIS A PRANK YOU GUYS PULLED ON ME WHEN WE WENT TO OLIVE IRK AS KIDS?!

Kira: NO, STOP. EVERYBODY SHUT UP. DO THEY GIVE YOU RAW FETTUCCINE TO CHEW ON IN THE LOBBY OF THE OLIVE IRK

Everyone else: No.

Kira, to Sai and Take: YOU FUCKIN BASTARDS

Sai: YAAAAAAAAY!

Take: THE PRESTIGE!

---

Mis: I’m an idiot.

Sai:

Kira:

Eco:

Take:

Mis:

Sai: If you’re waiting for us to disagree, this is going to be a long day.

---

Mis: Where's Sai, Kira, and Eco?

Take: They're playing hide and seek.

Mis: Where?

Take: I don't think you get how this game works.

---

*mis is in the hospital due to his health being a bitch*

Mis: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast?

Sai: Several traffic violations.

Kira: Three counts of resisting arrest.

Eco: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks.

Take: Also, that’s not our car.

---

Mis: What’s something you guys are better than Sai at?

Kira: Mario Kart.

Take: Yeah, video games.

Eco: Emotional vulnerability.

---

Mis: Good responses for being stabbed with a knife?

Sai: Rude.

Kira: That’s fair.

Eco: Not again.

Take: Are you going to want this back?

---

Mis: There are seven chairs and ten kids. What do you do?

Take: Have everyone stand.

Eco: Bring three more chairs!

Kira: The most important ones can sit down.

Sai: Kill three.

---

Mis: Nothing in life is free.

Kira: Love is free!

Take: Adventure is free.

Eco: Knowledge is free.

Sai: Everything is free if you take it without paying.

---

Sai: Looking left cause you don’t treat me right

Eco: Looking right because you left

Kira: Looking up cause you let me down

Take: Looking down cause you fucked up

Mis: What is wrong with you guys

---

Mis: Bye Eco! Bye Kira! Bye Sai! Bye Take! Bye Eco!

Kira: You said ‘bye Eco’ twice.

Mis: I like Eco.

---

Mis: Good morning.

Eco: Good morning.

Take: Good morning.

Kira: You all sound like robots, try spicing it up a bit.

Sai: MORNING MOTHERFUCKERS

---

Kira: Poison is a magic transmutation potion that turns people into corpses.

Sai: This knife is actually a magic wand.

Take: Meet me in the Denny’s parking lot for a wizard duel.

Mis: *cocks gun* Magic missile.

Eco: What the fuck is wrong with you people.

---

Mis: Anyone d-

Take: Depressed?

Kira: Drained?

Sai: Dumb?

Eco: Disliked?

Mis: -done with their work... what is wrong with you people ...

---

Mis, Kira, and Sai are sitting on a bench

Toxik: Why do you guys look so sad?

Mis: Sit down with us so we can tell you.

*Toxik sits down*

Kira: The bench is freshly painted.

---

Cop: You’re receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle.

Mis: Shit.

Kira: Wait, three?

Cop: Yeah?

Sai: OH MY GOD ECO FELL OFF!!!

---

Kira, banging on the door: mis! Open up!

Mis: Well, it all started when I was a kid...

Sai: No, they meant-

Eco: Let them finish.

---

Mis: Self care is actually getting into fights with randoms in dark alleys.

Eco: No, self care is stuff like taking a bubble bath, or putting on a lot of makeup if you like it, or taking a nice warm nap!

Sai: Self care is the burning heat when rage washes over you!! Self care is when you feel the bones crack under your powerful fists!! Self care is the fear in your enemies’ eyes!!!

Kira: Lmao self care is taking your birthday cake just so I can eat the frosting.

Mis: If you touch my birthday cake I’ll make you eat your hands.

---

Mis: I just ended a four year relationship.

Toxik: Oh, I’m so sorry. Are you okay?

Mis: Hm? Oh yeah, I’m fine. It wasn’t my relationship.

*Y and Koi fighting from across the room*

---

Toxik: Have you seen a person named 'mis' around here?

Domino: Ugh, yes. They made a horrible mess of the blood fountain.

Arson: It looks fine to me?

Dragon fruit: IT USED TO BE WATER!!!

---

Mis: I think Eco was right.

Kira: I'm surprised they haven't marched in here to say 'I told you so.'

Sai: They wouldn't do that.

Eco: You're right, Sai. For once in your life, you're 100% right. I would never say that.

Eco: *turns around, the shirt they're wearing says 'Eco Told You So' on the back*

---

Mis: Tonight, one of you will betray us.

Kira: Is it me, Mis?

Mis: No, it’s not you.

Sai: Is it me, Mis?

Mis: It’s not you either.

Eco: Is it me, Mis?

Mis:

Mis, mockingly: Is IT mE Mis?

---

Lex: Why are Mis and Toxik sitting with their backs to each other?

Take: They had a fight.

Lex: Then why are they holding hands?

Take: They get sad when they fight.

---

Mis: *Gently taps table*

Kira: *Taps back*

Sai: What are they doing?

Eco: Morse code.

Mis: *Aggressively taps table*

Kira: *Slams hands down* YOU TAKE THAT BACK-

---

Mis: *Trying to fill out legal paperwork stuff* Were you guys born AMAB or AFAB?

Eco: Bold of you to assume I was born at all.

Kira: all 5 of us were created inide a lab.

Sai: I just straight up spawned lol.

---

Take: Dammit, Mis!

Mis: What?! It wasn’t me!

Take: Sorry, force of habit. Dammit, Kira!

Kira: Not me either.

Take: Oh...Then who set the house on fire?

Sai: *whistles*

---

Saeri: Truth or dare?

Mis: Dare

Saeri: I dare you to kiss the hottest person in the room

Mis: Hey Toxik

Toxik, blushing: Yeah?

Mis: Could you move? I’m trying to get to Range

---

Eco: Isn’t it weird that we pay money to see other people?

Mis: Plane tickets?

Sai: Concert tickets?

Kira: Prostitution?

Eco, holding their broken frames: Glasses.

---

Mis: Wake me up…

Kira: Before you go go!

Sai: When September ends…

Eco: WAKE ME UP INSIDE-

---

Kira: Everyone, synchronize your watches.

Sai: I don’t know how to do that.

Eco: I don’t wear a watch.

Mis: Time is a construct.

---

Mis: I currently have 7 empty notebooks and I have no clue what to put in them. Suggestions?

Kira: Put spaghetti in it.

Mis: I'm currently taking suggestions from literally anyone but you.

Sai: Put spaghetti in it.

Mis: I'm currently taking suggestions from anyone but you two.

Eco: Put spaghetti in it.

Mis: I'm no longer taking suggestions.

---

Mis: Can I be frank with you guys?

Kira: Sure, but I don’t see how changing your name is gonna help.

Sai: Can I still be Sai?

Eco: Shh, let Frank speak.

---

Mis: Eco, I'm sad.

Eco: *Holds out arms for a hug* It’s going to be okay.

Kira: Sai, I'm sad.

Sai, nodding: mood.

---

Eco: On the count of three, what's your favorite cake? One, two, three-

Eco and Kira, in unison: Chocolate cake peanut butter frosting with chocolate chunks!

Sai: Our turn, Mis! One, two, three- vanilla!

Mis, deadpan: I've never had cake, what is cake.

---

Mis: Toxik isn’t answering their phone

Cherry: I’ll call

Mis: Saeri and I have both tried six times each, what makes you thi-

Toxik: Hello?

---

Mis: I really like this whole ‘good guy, bad guy’ thing you guys have going on.

Saeri: It’s not an act, it’s just that I’m nice and Toxik isn’t

---

Mis: WHY. why did you give Toxik a KNIFE?!

Saeri: I’m sorry. They said they felt unsafe.

Mis: Now I feel unsafe!

Saeri: I’m sorry.

Saeri: ... would you like a knife?

---

Saeri: Mis and I were crossing the street, and this dude drove by and honked at us

Toxik: *Sighing* What did Mis do?

Saeri: They chased him to the next red light, then reached into his window and...

Mis: Who wants a steering wheel?

---

DL Dib: Win, my old arch enemy.

DL Zim: ... I thought I was your arch enemy?

DL Dib: I have a life outside of you, Zim

---

Mis: Please bring home PURIFIED water with NO minerals added for taste

Saeri: We got spring water

Mis: NO.

Toxik: with EXTRA minerals

Saeri: it's like licking a stalagmite

Mis: DON'T COME HOME.

Toxik: Mmmmm cave water

---

Mis: If Saeri and I were drowning, who would you save?

Toxik: You two can’t swim?

Saeri: It’s a hypothetical question, Toxik! who would you save?

Toxik: my time and effort.

---

*The squad is having dinner together*

Mis: Saeri, can you pass the salt?

Saeri: *Throws Toxik across the table*

---

Mis: What time is it?

Saeri: I don’t know; pass me that saxophone and we’ll find out

Saeri: *Plays sax loudly and extremely out of tune*

Toxik: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE SAXOPHONE AT TWO IN THE MORNING

Saeri: It’s 2 am

---

Mis: I’m kind of crushing on someone, but I’m worried about telling you who it is, because you’re not going to like it

Saeri: Just rip the bandage off.

Mis: It’s Toxik.

Saeri: Put the bandage back on.

---

Mis: Toxik and I are having a baby.

Saeri: That's gre-

Mis, slamming adoption papers on the table: It's you, sign here.

---

Mis: In my defense, I was left unsupervised.

Saeri: Wasn't Toxik with you?

Toxik: In my defense, I was also left unsupervised.

---

Mis: I trust Saeri.

Toxik: You think they know what they're doing?

Mis: I wouldn't go that far.

---

Mis: Tell Saeri about the birds and the bees.

Toxik: They're disappearing at an alarming rate.

---

Mis: Here’s a fun Christmas idea. We hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing, you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it.

Saeri: Mis no.

Toxik: Mistlefoe.

Saeri: Please stop encouraging them.

---

Mis: Sometimes I drink milk straight out of the container.

Saeri: The cow???

Mis: What?

Toxik: Saeri, W H Y?

---

Mis: While I’m gone, Saeri, you’re in charge.

Saeri: Yes!!!

Mis, whispering: Toxik, you’re secretly in charge.

Toxik: Obviously.

---

Mis, texting Saeri: Saeri! Help I’m being kidnapped

Saeri: Where are you?

Mis: I’m with some strange person. In a car. Help.

Saeri: I’ll call Toxik.

Toxik, answering their cell: Y’ello?

Saeri: Where’s Mis? They texted me that they were being kidnapped.

Toxik: Mis? Whaddya mean, they're right next to me-

Toxik:

Toxik: I’ll call you back. *hangs up*

Toxik: THE NEW HAIRCUT ISN’T THAT BAD!

Mis: WHO ARE YOU?!

[Mis hates having his hair and fur being touched and even more cut]

---

Mis: Don't worry, I got a plan.

Saeri: Alright.

Mis: TraitorSayWhat?

Toxik: Excuse me?

Mis: What?

Saeri:

Mis:

Mis: No wait-

---

Mis: If you had to choose between Saeri and all the money I have in my wallet, which would you choose?

Toxik: That depends, how much money are we taking about?

Saeri: Toxik!

Mis: 63 cents.

Toxik: I'll take the money.

Saeri: TOXIK!!!

---

Mis: Naturally, we are on the cutting edge of technology.

Saeri, amazed: Wow...

Toxik, to Saeri: Well what does that mean?

Saeri: I don't know.

Saeri, to Mis: What does that mean?

---

Mis: What do you think Saeri will do for a distraction?

Toxik: They’ll probably, like, make a noise or throw a rock. That’s what I would do.

*Building explodes and several car alarms go off*

Toxik: ... or they could do that.

---

Mis: Hey Saeri,

Saeri: Yes?

Mis: Can a person breathe inside a washing machine while it’s on?

Saeri:

Saeri: Where’s Toxik?

---

Mis: Come on, I wasn’t that drunk last night.

Saeri: You were flirting with Toxik.

Mis: So what? They're my partner.

Saeri: You asked them if they were single.

Mis:

Saeri: And then you cried when they said they weren't.

---

Mis, in a high voice, holding barbie: hey ken! I was thinking about going back to school and starting a career!

Saeri, in a deep voice, holding ken: nonsense, barbie. you’re staying home and having my kids

Toxik: what the fuck are you guys doing?

Mis: playing systemic oppression.

---

Mis: You have to apologize to Saeri

Toxik: Fine.

Toxik: 'Unfuck you' or whatever.

---

Mis: Do you ever want to talk about your emotions, Toxik?

Toxik: … No.

Saeri: I do!

Mis: I know, Saeri.

Saeri: I’m sad!

Mis: I know, Saeri.

---

*The group is getting into the car*

Mis: I’m driving.

Saeri, out of view: Shotgun!

Toxik, turning to face Saeri: Aww! But you had it on the way here-

Everyone except Saeri: WOAH-

Saeri, holding a shotgun: No! I found a shotgun! And I want the front seat! *Pumps gun*

---

Saeri: If I accidentally sat on a voodoo doll of myself, would I be trapped forever in that position, doomed to starve to death?

Mis: How am I supposed to know?

Toxik: You say, as if we don’t use you as a source of knowledge of the occult.

Mis: *sighs*

Mis: You wouldn't be trapped.

---

Mis: Saeri, keep an eye on Toxik today. They're going to say something to the wrong person and get punched.

Saeri: Sure, I’d love to see Toxik get punched.

Mis: Try again.

Saeri, sighing: I will stop Toxik from getting punched.

---

Mis: Would you stab your best friend in the leg for 10 million gold?

Saeri: You stab me, and then when my leg gets better, we buy a big-ass house.

Toxik: You can stab me too, then we'll have 20 million.

Saeri: Good thinking.

---

Saeri: Why are you on the floor?

Mis: I'm depressed.

Mis: Also I was stabbed, can you get Toxik, please.

---

Take: HELP! I TOLD MIS I’D COOK DINNER TONIGHT BUT I CAN’T COOK!

Toxik, pouring milk directly into the cereal bag: And you thought I could help?

---

Mis: In your opinion, what’s the height of stupidity?

Toxik: *turning to Saeri* How tall are you?

---

Saeri, at a restaurant: You guys should get the orange soda, it's amazing.

Mis: Okay

Waiter: Can I get you guys anything to drink?

Saeri: Orange soda, please!

Mis: I'll have the strawberry soda.

Toxik: Me too, strawberry soda.

Saeri:

----

Toxik: So, what, now I’m just supposed to do anything that Mis does? I mean, what if they jumped off a cliff?

Saeri: If Mis were to jump off a cliff, they would’ve done their due diligence regarding the height of the cliff, the depth of the water, and the angle of entry, so yes. If you see Mis jump off a cliff, by all means, jump off a cliff.

Toxik: You jump off a cliff!

Saeri: Gladly. Provided Mis did first.

---

Mis: We need a distraction.

Toxik: Is anyone here good at jumping up and down and making weird noises?

Saeri, whispering: My time has come

---

Mis: I can’t believe you live nearby, and you won’t let anyone crash at your place.

Toxik: You people already know too much about me.

Saeri: I know exactly three facts about you, and one of them is that you won’t let any of us crash at your place.

---

Mis: Are you the big spoon or the little spoon?

Saeri: I'm a knife.

Primadonna, from across the room: They're the little spoon.

---

Eco: Mis, can I talk to you for a second?

Mis: Yeah, what’s up? Lemme guess. You and Margo are having problems and you want me to teach you how to kiss?

Eco: What? No, stop that. I know how to kiss. I’ve read books.

---

Mis: Hey, Saeri? Can I get some dating advice?

Saeri: Just because I’m with Primadonna doesn’t mean I know how I did it.

---

Toxik: What if I press the brake and gas at the same time?

Saeri: The car takes a screenshot.

Mis: For the last time, get the fuck out.

---

Mis, negotiating with Lex: We have Toxik. Give us ten thousand dollars and they will be returned to you unharmed

Toxik: Whoa, whoa, wait, you think I’m only worth ten thousand dollars?

Mis:

Toxik: MAKE IT ONE MILLION–

Mis: TOXIK STOP

---

Saeri: Who thinks I can fit 15 marshmallows in my mouth?

Mis: You’re a hazard to society

Toxik: And a coward. DO TWENTY.

---

Mis, trying to ask Range out: Would you like to stay for dinner?

Saeri: WOULD YOU LIKE TO STAY FOREVER?

---

Mis, driving Saeri and Toxik: So how was your day?

Saeri: We almost got surprise adopted!

Mis: What?

Toxik: We almost got kidnapped.

Mis: Oh, okay.

Mis: *slams on the breaks* WAIT WHAT?!

---

Mis: What's a word thats a mix between 'sad' and 'mad'?

Toxik: Disgruntled, miserable, desolated-

Saeri: Smad.

---

Toxik: Mis and I don’t use pet names.

Saeri: I see. Hey, what do bees make?

Toxik: Honey?

Mis: Yes, dear?

Toxik:

Saeri: Don't ever lie to my face again.

---

Mis: How's the sexiest person here~?

Range: I don't know, how are they~?

Mis, flustered: I-

Toxik, from across the room: I'm doing great, thanks!

---

Saeri: Mis, what do IDK, LY, and TTYL mean?

Mis: I don’t know, love you, talk to you later

Saeri: Ok, I love you too, I’ll just ask Toxik.

---

Mis: They stole from me first!

Saeri: Mhm.

Mis: Stole my heart...

Toxik: It is still illegal to commit murder.

---

Mis: I love you guys, you're the best thing that's happened to me.

Saeri: We're the best thing that's ever happened to you?

Mis: Yes!

Toxik: I'm starting to feel a little sorry for you.

---

Mis: We need to get through this locked door. Saeri, give me your credit card.

Saeri: Here.

Mis, pocketing it: Thanks. Toxik, kick down the door.

---

Mis: Fitness tip: never stop pushing yourself. Some say 8 hours of sleep is enough. Why not keep going? Why not 9? Why not 10? Strive for greatness.

Saeri: Next time you’re working out do 15 push ups instead of 10. Run 3 miles instead of 2. Eat a whole cake instead of just a slice. Burn your ex’s house down. You can do it. I believe in you.

Toxik: There were so many mixed messages in that I can’t-

---

Store Worker: Would a Mx. Mis please come to the front desk?

Mis, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem?

Store Worker: points to Saeri and Toxik

Store Worker: I believe they belong to you?

Saeri and Toxik, simultaneously: We got lost :(

Mis: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me-

---

*Mis and Saeri sitting in jail together*

Saeri: So who should we call?

Mis: I’d call Toxik, but I feel safer in jail

---

And thats all for today folks!

Remember to drink water and touch some grass.

Crow out

#oc's #defective lotus au #caw! caw!#iz au #iz oc #four for the price of one au #friend oc #incorrect quotes #defective lotus memes #to many characters #poor number of tags

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krillest1 · 6 hours ago

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Week 16: Genre

WORK SUCKS Not sure why I've been using Blink-182 lyrics so much in these. It's been another banner week for me. I've spent quite a bit more time around people this week, which is pretty standard for the holidays. This has made me feel dumb and strange and harmful. I'm not sure of why I interact with people, and I sometimes get caught up in something like auto-speech, instead of auto-writing. While it's nice to be around people, I'm wracked by this endless sense of guilt once I've spent more than a few days with family. I've also found myself, as per usual, feeling bored and afraid, especially around work and interpersonal stuff. I don't know what to do about it, I want to drive to the Pacific Northwest and never look back and chainsmoke all the way and there and never talk or think again. This week has not been all despair. I was able to finish Stein, and get started on a Christmas book (some science fiction). I've also continued watching 'Arcane,' which is pretty good. Consumption, in short, is up. Hooray, the economy is saved. All of this consumption has me thinking about genre, and my relationship to interpretation.

CASE STUDY A year or two ago, I asked many of my acquaintances what they thought the difference between fantasy and sci-fi was. This often sparked pretty interesting discussion. I would often chum the waters by pointing out (correctly, I think) that 'Star-Wars' is more fantasy than sci-fi. The structure of the story, and the types of things it talks about, are fantastical (as in being part of fantasy). I cannot think of an analogue from a sci-fi story wrapped in fantastical elements, but I'm sure it's out there. Sci-fi, I think, is more about exteriors while fantasy is about interiors. In fantasy the hero matters more than the systems they are caught up in. We are reminded of their subjectivity, and their... goodness? Even in cases where the political is involved (think of something like WoT, maybe?) politics are interesting only in their relationship to the subject. 'The Phantom Menace' (or 'Clone Wars.' maybe) is a good example here, especially with all the senate stuff. Sci-fi, on the other hand, reminds us that the subject is not fixed. We are caught up in systems beyond our control, and our understanding of the human is a bit shakier than we would care to admit. This, at least, is the sci-fi which I like. The subject still plays a role, but more in their disappearing than in their assertion (side note: this is why I consider 'The Road' to be science fiction, generally, while other post-apocalyptic or dystopian books fall more into fantasy). Looking back on this distinction, I don't find it terribly interesting. I think that I'm wrong, and that the distinction between sci-fi and fantasy might be about the trappings, and about different approaches to speculation, or the more surface-level stuff that is more readily apparent. I don't like this idea. Still, I do like the idea of pushing and playing with genre. Too often I take a story at face value, not recognizing that tension in genre, or mis-applying genre can change interpretation as a whole. This is getting vague and unhelpful, but genre is interesting.

INTERPRETATION Note above that I primarily think of genre as being tied to interpretation. A story, in this framework, is aiming at some message or telos in general, and genre can be a short way to situate these discussions and themes. It could be that there is no difference in theme or approach in genre. There is a sort of ur-story we're all trying to tell and listen to, and we just like the trappings more of some genres than others. 'Star Wars' tells a sort of universal story that nerds like because nerds like space and Japan and women in golden bikinis. The story itself, however, the approach and the telos, would be universal. Sontag, obviously, wants to pop in and say hello here. She lays out an approach to interpretation that is less about discovering the universal, and more about recognizing the proliferation of approaches as not helpful. A Marxist interpretation to film would do away with the raw encounter with a thing, outside of interpretation. This is a shade different than everything being of the same type. Instead, art is of the same type not in its aiming at a message or structure, but in being a sort of encounter. I quite like this. I think Sontag may have referenced genre in 'Against Interpretation,' but I"m not sure, and I'm not going back to read it at the moment. Even though insistence on interpretation, via a particular approach, might do a disservice to the art in general, I think it also provides a kind of interesting approach to genre. It's less that each genre aims at something different, and more that the raw encounter with ideas/images in sci-fi text (for example) is unique to a certain approach. The churned-stomach feeling I get from body-as-object, or the weight I feel of technology as this huge, exterior, temporal thing is opened up to me through genre. Things are starting to feel a bit circular here, i.e. genre makes you feel certain things because when you feel certain things you are in genre. I like the idea of it being constructed, or something though.

I WANT TO BE GERTRUDE STEIN Text is not a thing I'm very good at. I watch videos and read articles and realize that my 'mode of interpretation', or whatever, is deficient. I am bad at picking themes out, remembering stories, or criticizing narrative decisions. When reading, I am hit with a series of encounters that are interesting and emotional but not particularly cohesive or helpful. I invoke St. Sontag's name to make it seem like my move away from interpretation through a particular lens, and a focus on encounter is grounded in thought or something, but I think it's grounded in deficiency. Stein, as per usual, provides a couple of interesting insights here. Stein, for me, evades simple categorization. I would call her work 'avant-garde', but in genre terms that just means 'the other stuff.' There are some themes we can gesture towards (sexuality, feminism (whatever that means), time, language as constructed) but this creates a network of meaning that gets convoluted quickly. Stein shows me that genre is not a super helpful approach, and (paradoxically, almost) reminds me that reading and text are encounters first and foremost. We can interpret, and interlock texts but the narrative-thing is always strange. I think interpretation, in some way, is the only way to make text make sense. Stein calls this to the fore, and reminds us that we are always interpreting. Stein also, interestingly, was a pretty early adopter of a 'genre' of painting/art (are movements the same as genre? I cannot answer this). Cubism, for example, appealed to Stein as a movement, I think. Her recognition of the 'new,' or whatever, put her at the fore of new movements and approaches. All sorts of interesting questions pop up at this point e.g. are some of these works objectively good or at least influential in a vacuum? Is this framing even fair? What, really, does the work of art do? I am interested that Stein recognized movements, and the newness. I wonder if we could draw some through-line here to genre. Not sure.

WHY DO ANYTHING I don't know why I read. At a certain point and level, someone has to do something with their time and I choose to read. It works pretty well for an alienated 20 something who's angry. Engaging with art is challenging, and I'm bad at it, and it's frustrating and it's exciting. I'm riddled with contradiction and boredom and fear. There is an approach to genre that is reductive and uninteresting, or there are genre-pieces which are trash. 'Ready Player One,' which I've never read, seems like a good example of the way that the pieces of sci-fi which are interesting can also be used to construct nostalgia-machines and, quite frankly, uninteresting ideas. It's not a new insight to 'like the low-brow', or whatever, but between the canon and within genre I think the recognition of quality is legitimate. Genre, something which wants to be a genre, is often uninteresting. Our taxonomies, when aware of themselves, become reductive. Tension as the core of art is boring, but genre as a whole needs tension to be really and truly interesting, maybe. I'm a bit of a snob, in all honesty, but I still like the low-brow. It'd be more fair to say I'm built for the low-brow, and I pretend to the high-brow.

I KNOW I don't know, this week was also rambling and uninteresting. That's alright. I haven't been sleeping recently, and things have that nice deadened hum at the moment. It makes me more volatile, but it also keeps waves of panic at bay. I should be confronting that panic, being grateful in my unknowing, and abandoning ego. I'm trying, but at this point exhaustion is just easier. I'm not sure what I'm aiming at, at the moment, and that's scary. Life is long, and I feel angry that my alienation is being used to make the rich richer, and the lonely lonelier. I may not have had a chance in a different set of material circumstances (can we separate these two things, I don't know), but I certainly can't function now. People are scary, and I spend too much time feeling scared and bored. I have tried to orient myself towards the interesting, and practice gratitude in unknowing, but it can be hard sometimes. I'm grateful for all of the interesting things, and for the people who can semi-bear me. I'm struggling, at the moment, and I'm scared things are going to get worse but I'm also committed to practicing gratitude in unknowing. Love ya :)

#blogpost #genre #stein

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sagetsukimura · 6 months ago

Text

(I just want to write it out, see if it helps me sort my thoughts out. Remind future-me that I tried. This week has been pretty... Chaotic, at work. )

I did it. I communicated to the best of my abilitiy in a stressful work environment, and i thought we'd finally gotten on the same page.

I'd done the right thing. I spoke to them directly, I used 'i feel' statements, and explained why, didn't cry when I got yelled at, only yelled back once and visibly made myself stop, and we managed to actually get on the same page ( at least I thought so, I hope so) once she realized i wasn't giving her a 'reasons why you suck' speech. I was satisfied with my feelings being proven wrong, because yes, it did turn out that nobody else was communicating with each other either. Misunderstandings and resentment. (We had 2 people quit this week.)

Problem addressed and acknowledged, if not fixed. I did it. I communicated. Glad that's over with because I hate being assertive or having people upset with me. (I don't like speaking up in situations like this, but so many people were having issues and... I don't know why I thought I could make a difference.)

Only today, a higher up comes in, and asks me a bunch of questions, and introduces me to someone, and I can't figure out what she wants from me., she's asking for specific incidents, and telling me I need to be a more positive team player, and I'm so tired of feeling helpless and frustrated I start crying when I have to talk about one of our more... difficult... Parents.

She tells me to take some time to calm down, I give the new manager a heartful 'nice to meet you, hope you stick around' that might've been TOO heartfelt (7 managers in one year guys, I'm getting desperate . I REALLY hope she'll stick around) and get back to the kids after making sure I don't look like I've been bawling.

Anyway, boss comes back an hour and a half later and says I need to leave. I'm confused and ask her if she means like, go home? NOW? And all I manage to get is *'things are worse than I was told'* and she's off... Somewhere.

... Ok?!

So I clean up, and i leave. No clue what happened or why. Did I do something? Did she want me to take the day to calm down? Was someone mad about yesterday? Apparently someone is/was lying? Should I wait for a phone call? An email? Should I come in Monday? Am I fired? What's going on?!

So now I'm... here. No clue what's going on. Brain is trying to come up with the worst answers possible, I'm trying to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. I love my job, but when no one knows what is going on or where something is, or even who to ask, it means no one sticks around. I'm not sure if anyone else has been around long enough to know the Wi-Fi passwords besides me.

It's weird, how chilled out I am. Usually I feel physically ill at the thought that someone is upset with me. Maybe counseling really is helping? Or I'm waiting to know if I've been fired before I let myself mentally burn bridges and move on.

At least I know I've done my best. I've tried to make it obvious to the others that I'm trying in good faith. I've tried really hard. (I almost think too hard. I should've kept my head down, because even if I was willing to try and talk, I appear to be very bad at it.) I just... Don't know what the expectations of me are, since I've been at the site for twice as long as anyone else. I know things no one else does. But I also don't even know where to find the signup paperwork. I'm not a manager, I'm literally the bottom of the ladder, and happy staying there.

I feel confused, and worried. Overwhelmed, frustrated, and a little betrayed. There's a voice in my head telling me I should've kept my head down and my mouth shut, and rolled through the next few months.

But mostly, I just want to know what is going on, so I can make my own choices. If I stay, I want to know what changes and expectations I should expect, because it feels like they are changing all the time, and it's not just kids who like consistency. I have to ask myself, how long do I WANT to have this job.

I just... Hope I did the right thing, as best I could. That I can say I honestly tried, even if it didn't work. But that doesn't mean it won't suck if it turns out I was right to doubt.

#me #rant #work #the importance of communication #my counselor better be proud if me #i just want a job i can work long term

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gillianthecat · 2 years ago

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Love In the Air episode 6

My thoughts as I watch: mostly snark, a little bit of critical analysis, a sprinkling of praise.

This episode we're back to what I think of as Dramatic Soundtrack Music. No more soothing classical.

All this tension in this scene with P' Chai, but I don't know what it means.

Here comes trouble- Same dudes from the bathroom? Ah yes.

Lots and lots of little boys posturing, its had to take any of them seriously.

They don't have to bring their own motorcycles? Why are you letting some rando asshole you don't trust borrow a motorcycle?

This seems like it must have been as expensive production - shutting down a highway in Bangkok?

I don't understand the point of this bad guy - he came out of nowhere and has no connection to any of the characters we know. Unless he's Sky's evil ex? and we're being set up for the 2nd half of the series?

When I say Love in the Air has no plot - it's not that nothing happens, it's that the stuff that happens doesn't seem to connect or build in a way that progresses or tells a coherent narrative. Which is fine! That can still make an enjoyable show, especially if you just like spending time with the characters. But its not a plot.

I'm not sure why LITA feels so disconnected and random to me. Figuring it out would require rewatching and more in depth analysis, and I frankly don't care that much about the show. But that's how it feels to me.

I don't know, its quite possible that it all builds and connects in a way that I'm just not seeing. I feel like my brain turns into a sieve when I watch this show.

Aww. Sweet Rain, trying to cheer up his boyfriend. Encourage Payu like Payu encouraged Rain. I like seeing this more assertive caretaking side of Rain. It makes them feel more like a real partnership, while still maintaining the submissive- dominant dynamic.

PayuRain is growing on me now that Payu doesn't have to act so aggressively dominant and they can just be cute together.

I'm with Rain here, I also don't understand why Payu has to race this two-bit bad guy. Especially not in a thunderstorm. Ego? "Honor?" Pshaw.

Aww. More assertively caretaking Rain. I love it! So does Payu, apparently, lol.

ooh, but maybe this race is Payu's turn for growth and a character are of his own. A girl can dream, lol.

Oh never mind, the race is the next day, and not in the rain. That's less of a terrible choice. But mostly I just find characters who do things for ego or honor boring, unless there's some interesting angst underlying their motivations.

Sorry, but I have never found motorcycle racing outfits sexy. Motorcycle riding. yes, but the outfits have always looked ridiculous to me. But I would much prefer they be protected than be aesthetically appealing.

Yeah, I really cannot find it in me to care about this race either.

Paya won! But I knew that since I'd already seen the gifs of them celebrating.

These boys do know how to kiss! And I love that Payu just abandons his opponent to go fuck his boyfriend. (In a glass walled room with everyone right outside. The sets on this show are so weird, lol.) That race was clearly a lot more invigorating for him than it was for me.

Oh wait, they just magically teleported somewhere with curtains. I appreciate a montage style sex sane, but this editing has tipped over the line into confusing. But also its really hot, so who cares.

Where even is Payu's mic to pick up that rustling as he takes off his shirt? There’s nowhere to hide it! (I know, this is Not what I should by focusing on now.)

Ok, well. That sex scene was hot. And more explicit than any in a BL I've watched yet. I appreciate the actors' bravery and commitment to making it work so well.

This morning domesticity and mutual teasing is very cute. And I enjoy seeing the contrast from their first breakfast together. (see: characters changing = a plot)

Ok, adding in a kidnapping with one 45 minute episode left. Where are we going with this? I remain skeptical.

wait what? Is this a flashback or a flash forward? Why is Rain fine and in his room? Oh, flashback. Very cute. Although I'm still unclear about when or if he already knows Payu at this point.

Final Thoughts

yep, I still have the same feelings about plot at the end of the episode that I did in the middle. I think the main culprit is that Puyu's character is so static - he has no arc of his own. And even Rain's arc is kind of at a dead end. He's still changing and growing, but its not enough to sustain momentum on its own. Stuff happens to them, and they even do stuff, but it doesn't really change either of them. And I think for me that's the fundamentals of a "plot"- watching characters change.

This all feels like someone's fantasy more than an actual story. But I'm not sure whose fantasy it is: Payu who gets to be perfect and have someone change to fit him? Or Rain, the awkward college kid who manages to land the perfect guy?

#love in the air #love in the air ep 6 #love in the air critical #love in the air the series #lita #kind of like liveblogging #gillianthecat reacts to bl #reaction by gillianthecat

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journey-to-the-attic · 3 years ago

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What if Ik was like Qiqi? Bad memory, rots if too hot, cryo vision, etc.? All the possible angst and fluff is beautiful. Lucifer would write down notes about all the brothers so that way she doesn't get confused in case she forgets, Levi letting her stay in his room to stay cool, Beel giving her ice cream, ugh in need this brainriot in my life-

i saw this ask early in the morning and i've been thinking about it ever since THIS IS SUCH A GOOD AU PREMISE

hang on i'll try to put my incoherent thoughts so far into words under the cut (heads up i ended up writing a LOT)

because i apparently love to make myself sad, the set up for zombie-ik is going to be really quite angsty

she arrives in the devildom as per the same ik-from-teyvat premise: just a kid from liyue harbour with a cryo vision who's kind of obsessed with seelies and studying them

and then everything would follow the basic outline of jtta, with the main differences being that teyvatian ik's generally more confident and assertive than jtta ik, and also she's able to defend herself more against the various attacks she comes under, so her right hand is intact

she's also just as bad at tech as simeon, because in teyvat the peak of technology is the kameras

then this au diverges at the Event Of Lesson 16

belphie catches ik off guard and incapacitates her vision somehow (he doesn't deactivate it entirely - like he doesn't shatter it or anything - so i guess he just yanks it away and throws it down the hall or something?)

maybe he doesn't prevent ik from accessing it entirely, and she does still have combat knowledge that doesn't require use of a vision, but either way belphie's still way bigger than her, plus he's got all those undefined demon powers, so ik doesn't have an opportunity to fight back

and in THIS deviation, ik does not come back. the others find belphie standing over her body and she does not move and will not wake up no matter what they try

they move her to her room while diavolo and barbatos try to do damage control, and all the while everyone's just kind of in shock

meanwhile, something very odd is happening with the dead child in the house

so it turns out that ik's always carrying a special adeptal talisman that was given to her by xiao a while ago

(alternatively it could have been zhongli, or maybe she somehow befriended mountain shaper/cloud retainer/moon carver after ending up in jueyun karst during so many seelie-studying expeditions, and that's where she got it from)

she didn't know what it did, but she was told to never let it out of her sight and always keep it on her person, because it would protect her in an emergency

what the talisman was MEANT to do was summon the adeptus that made it to her side, but unlike our wholesome xiao-appears-in-the-devildom-and-beats-the-shit-out-of-belphie-for-attacking-his-friend au, it doesn't work because teyvat and the devildom are two entirely different worlds, and adepts is magic isn't powerful enough to summon a being from one to the other

the adeptal power in the talisman did sense that ik was in danger and tried to come into effect, but obviously that didn't work... and it's being continuing to sense danger ever since ik actually died

in the end the adeptal power 'compromises' by imbuing itself into ik, therefore re-animating her into a zombie like qiqi

she wakes up in her room, memory very very fuzzy, feeling very stiff and odd

she finds her vision lying in the hallway when she ventures out, and then she hears a lot of shouting from nearby, so she follows the sound and walks in on mammon attempting to throttle belphie while the other brothers try (half heartedly) to stop him

cue the relief and crying and hugs, while belphie stands very far away and silently melts into a guilty and awkward goop

everyone's so relieved that they don't even notice how off ik's acting

a bunch of conversation happens, eventually they figure out that she's not so much alive again as undead (though, because the concept of adepts and talismans is lost on them, they don't know HOW it happened)

SKIPPING over all the family angst that happens as the other brothers try to figure out how they want to treat belphie now, because he's still their brother but also he literally murdered ik, but also ik's not dead anymore??

anyway, about ik and how different she is now that she's a zombie... (based heavily off of qiqi's lore in-game)

she's always cold to the touch, partially because she no longer has blood circulation, partially because she uses her cryo vision to cool herself to prevent decay

like qiqi, she has to do regular stretches to stop rigor mortis from setting in. she doesn't have great control over her reanimated muscles, so she moves very slowly - when she does move even moderately quickly, it's very jerky and imprecise, and she's liable to cause destruction

her face is basically always completely blank, because it's pretty difficult for her to school her facial muscles precisely enough to form an expression. it's not impossible, but she usually just doesn't think it's worth the effort, especially when she's practically unable to feel any strong emotions - so she just doesn't feel the need to do anything with her face

over time, though, the brothers are able to figure out that some things do get a genuine reaction out of her

for example, at some point levi asks tentatively if she'd like to talk about seelies (since, while she was living, she'd go on tangents about them for ages at a time), and ik just lights up. she gets the closest thing to a smile that he's seen on her since she died, her voice is a lot more animated, and she talks in much longer sentences

(normally she speaks in a very quiet monotone, often omitting any unnecessary words, and her sentences don't usually exceed five words)

(because she's so slow-talking and slow-moving, every now and then one of the others will lose their patience with her, and do something like snap at her or cut off the conversation that was originally happening. ik's face doesn't change much, but somehow something about her expression looks so infinitely hurt that it's like being stabbed in the chest)

or, another example: one day, on a shopping trip while ik stays with the purgatory hall folk, the brothers get this giant custom-made plushie based off of the drawings that ik's shown them of seelies in the past

they give it to her, and she stands there silently holding it for a really long time. then her face starts twisting a little, and they panic - but then ik finally figures out how to do it, and she just gives them the biggest, brightest smile they've seen for what feels like an eternity

CRITICAL HIT. everyone is crying

ik's memory is awful - if something doesn't reoccur within at least a week of its initial happening, or if she isn't reminded of someone's existence in her life regularly, she'll forget about them pretty much entirely

her memories from before her death are really fuzzy as well - so she doesn't actually remember being killed by belphie (though this is partially because it was traumatic enough for her brain to also block out the memory)

but, even if she doesn't fully remember the details (or even sometimes the names) of her devildom friends, subconsciously she still knows she likes them - even at the times when she doesn't really remember who they are

which includes belphie himself, because she did have some friendly encounters with him before the attack (we are skimming all the guilt and stuff that belphie himself goes through because i think we've got enough angst in this au already)

one time lucifer is away for about a fortnight on business for diavolo or something, and then, when he gets back and says hello to ik, she looks at him for a minute, then asks cluelessly, 'who are you?'

not gonna lie, lucifer tears up a little bit

in the end, he's able to jog ik's memory enough from her to recognise him as the same guy she knows and feels safe with, but the moment still really sticks with him

it'd be at this point that he decides to start helping ik keep that notebook of things to remember. he enlists satan for help and gets a nice pretty blue one with lots of pages, but small and light enough to be portable, along with a pen holder

they mark out all the sections and everything - each titled things like 'to do', 'where things are', 'what to do when...', etc.

most of these sections are left blank for ik to write in herself, with the exception is the first section, which satan and lucifer have already filled out

it's titled 'your friends' - and, as the name might give away, it's a record of ik's friends for her to refresh her memory from to make sure she doesn't forget them

for each friend, there's a nice clear picture of their face, their name, a short description of what they're like, and a little message to ik from the friend in question. there are spaces left for ik to add new friends, but so far she hasn't yet

they get solomon to do a funky magic thing where he connects ik's notebook to blank backup one, so that anything written in ik's notebook also appears in the backup - so that there's something to fall back on if ik loses the original, which her poor memory makes her liable to do

there's a tracking charm on it, but you never know, she'll find a way

lucifer is generally the one holding onto the backup and he doesn't look at it much, but he does have a flick through it regularly to check up on ik - just to make sure she's not been having any major troubles that she hasn't told anyone about, as well as to make sure she hasn't forgotten about the notebook entirely

as per a suggestion from asmo, ik starts highlighting the stuff in the notebook that she considers very important things to remember, and one day lucifer notices that she's highlighted all of the profiles in the 'your friends' section

he tears up a bit again

zombie ik mostly stays home at the house of lamentation at first - there's not much point in getting her to go to school when she's going to forget everything she's learnt if it's not constantly reinforced, plus ik herself shows precisely zero interest in it

but eventually the others figure it must be boring for her to just sit around at home on her own for ages - levi's home sometimes, but he's usually busy doing his online lessons - plus she always seems a little fuzzy on her memory of them when they get back home, and even though it keeps happening enough for them to be numb to it,

ik's not sure if she has a concept of boredom anymore, she just kind of... exists. and that's it. but it is nice when the others take her out for little day trips

sometimes she tags along to the r.a.d., sometimes barbatos uses his free time to take her out to town (since he doesn't attend classes), sometimes some of the brothers will use their lunch break to go visit her at the house

someone's always with her whenever she's out of the house because she gets lost really easily, and she'll very rapidly forget where she was supposed to be in the first place unless she wrote it in her notebook, which she often doesn't because, in moment, she doesn't think it's important enough. there's also a whole host of other stuff that means she needs to have an eye on her

for example, she needs help climbing stairs because, even with the exercises, her still somewhat stiff muscles make it pretty hard. before beel added a line in her notebook that told her to go get help whenever she needed to climb stairs, she'd literally spend ten minutes very slowly hauling herself up them at a time

also, sometimes she trips and falls, and she'll often just lie there on the floor for ages, wondering what she's supposed to do next

if you didn't realise til now, zombie ik is a little bit stupid

but it's alright! the brothers take excellent care of her

lucifer came up with the aforementioned notebook thing, and he's also extremely vigilant when it comes to keeping track of ik's activities. if there is even the slightest change in her usual routine, he WILL know about it. if there is a single problem that he even suspects she might not be able to solve, he WILL take care of it. if a demon at the r.a.d. even thinks about taking advantage of ik's kind of mindless state, he WILL smite them. you could call him overbearing, but in her zombie state, ik kind of needs it - and she's not really aware enough to realise his overprotectiveness in the first place

mammon is in misery for a good while because, even though the kid's walking and talking, she's just not the same, and every time he sees her he's reminded of the fact that he got there too late to stop her dying. for this reason, he's a bit distant for a while, but eventually he comes to terms with the fact that he can't change the past, and decides that he'll carry on taking care of his kid FOREVER. he's the one most commonly accompanying ik places, the one who keeps track of the rare things that get strong positive reactions from her, and also the one who knows best how to get those rare smiles out of her

levi's a good guy for ik to just chill with. he lets her play his games with him whenever she expresses interest, even though she's incredibly slow-learning, and her stiff fingers make it really hard to manipulate controllers, use keyboards/mice, or tap on a screen - but he doesn't mind that she's almost laughably bad at everything she tries, as long as she seems to be having fun. he also doesn't stop doing those rants about his own interests, because ik still listens attentatively every time - and that's the important part to him, not the fact that she'll likely forget what he told her soon. ik also likes it in levi's room because, subconsciously, the blue glow of the water reminds her of the blue glow of the seelies back home

satan lets her sit with him for as long as she likes, and will more often than not start quietly reading aloud to her when she does. sometimes she'll nestle up against him to listen to him read, and even though it's making him kind of chilly, he doesn't mind, so he lets it happen. she asks him a lot of questions, many of which get repeated because she forgot that he's already answered them, but he stays patient with her and explains things to her with as much detail as she likes. he also reminds ik about her notebook regularly, to make sure she doesn't forget to look at it

asmo doesn't treat her much different - he keeps doting on her, painting her nails and doing her hair as usual. this is part of the reason that ik confides in him a lot - his demeanour doesn't change like the others' do, even when she's telling him some TRULY gut wrenching stuff. of course, asmo is feeling the painful emotional stabby-stabby as much as the others, but he's really good at covering it up with his usual sunny smile, continuing to treat ik the same way he did when she was alive, and reassuring her that don't worry, we all still love you even though you can't smile for us much

beel is the second-most common companion for ik when she goes out, because he worries constantly about her mobility, especially when coupled with her size. he's the one who puts together a nice simple stretching routine for ik to keep up with, reminds her to do them at the same time every day, and always does them alongside her, never mind the fact that they don't really do anything for his own workouts. after some time, ik actually begins remembering to do her exercises on her own- she'll come to beel at the right time and ask if they can start - and it's basically his proudest achievement

and belphie...

he physically cannot make eye contact with ik for a good few months. the main difference between this and any other universe, where ik properly comes back, is that ik is unable to have a proper confrontation with him, and therefore he's unable to properly apologise for murdering her - because she doesn't even remember it happening. so there's never any closure.

skipping over all the actual drama this creates, belphie eventually resolves himself to move on - never forgiving himself, never forgetting it happened, but acknowledging that it's unfair to ik to keep lingering on it, as if he WANTS her to remember that extremely traumatic moment

so he becomes just as, if not more vigilant about her well-being than lucifer

because she has no need for it, ik doesn't usually sleep, and often she'll sidle into one of the brother's rooms late at night to seek company - she'll wander about for a bit, then chooses the room that she hears the most activity from, and just sit there with whichever brother she's chosen

and one day she chooses belphie, while he's staying up late looking at the stars

he feels so incredibly awkward, because even though he watches over her, he doesn't spent a lot of time with her directly. but then, maybe partially because of his influence as the avatar of sloth, she slowly curls up by his side and starts snoozing there

sure, there's a fountain in the observatory, but belphie's about to rival it with this fountain of tears

anyway - you know what? little jiangshi ik is in very good hands, so i think she'll be just fine

#answering asks #anon asks #genshin impact #jtta ik #the seelie whisperer #jtta bonuses #jtta aus #i wrote. so much #but this au gives me so many feelings #HGREGJhgrekaakdjsaLKJL #(i wrote mainly about the brothers but i'm also having so many thoughts about the side characters #ANON THANK YOU FOR THIS BRAINROT #i forgot to mention this but beel would also be constantly worried about what ik's eating #she doesn't need to anymore but he still thinks she should at least get something in her #(her digestive system is no longer active and she doesn't grow so no one knows where the food goes??)#ik's senses of smell and taste are basically non existent now #her sense of touch is still there #but it's very weakened #her sense of sound and sight are mostly the same #except most colours look more washed out to her now #jiangshi ik

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sauvryn · 1 year ago

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Yes, this IS just terribly sad, but not for the reasons that everyone thinks. It's sad because it is slander.

Okay so I'm gonna finally talk about this garbage article, because I keep randomly finding it in search results. I need to get it off my chest and Tumblr feels like the safest space for a rant. I am Jason's wife in real life - his legal spouse of almost 10 years. The article that the OP linked to was written by Jason's oldest son from a previous marriage, whom I have never met and didn't have any particular impressions of. Apparently, it was published in December of 2022. Want to know when Jason and I found out about it? May 2023. And we only did because I happened to see a Babylon 5 fan on Facebook post a link to it in response to the B5 animated film announcement, in a reply to another fan wondering why Jason wasn't involved with the project. The fan speculated that it was perhaps because of how Jason was purportedly "difficult to work with" and "his character probably killed off" due to personality changes from his TBI, as it said in the article.

What? I was shaken. I read it.

I told Jason about it. He read it.

It was very painful.

We decided the best course of action was not to give it any more oxygen, though the desire was strong to write a point-by-point rebuttal to the absolutely stunning amount of misinformation, assumptions, and assertions present in the article. Little to none of the information had been verified directly with Jason, nor with his brothers or mother (two of which still don't know about the article, and we are trying to keep it that way for now). There's a lot of "I've heard..." and "I've been told..." in the article. Like, by who? Jason's ex-wife, maybe, who isn't exactly his biggest fan? Who are these sources? I looked on Twitter and apparently a fan brought the article to the attention of JMS (the creator of Babylon 5) and asked if it was true, and JMS said he never saw any aggressive, unprofessional, etc. behavior from Jason. Which is expected because - before TBI or after - that's never been Jason.

I'm not relating much of Jason's personal reactions here because I don't want it getting back to his son and causing additional drama (or, worse, another article) - that's something that needs to be worked out privately between the two of them eventually. As for my own reaction: the article personally angered and saddened me. It - intentionally or not - drags Jason's legacy through the mud with what amounts to honeyed slander while waving a clickbait title to drive traffic by banking on his fame and, worst of all, supposedly is written from a place of "compassion" and "love". It's disgusting to read and does a horrible disservice to fans of Jason by presenting supposed "truths" about his history, personality, and professionalism from what would otherwise reasonably appear to be a reliable source. Sadly, the comments on Medium do not appear to doubt the author's account in the slightest. From what I have heard from the fans I have talked to on Facebook that read it, they hadn't thought to question the article's validity either and some even believed it was published with Jason's knowledge, both of which couldn't be farther from the truth.

Do I think his son actually believes everything that he wrote? Yes, I think this is how he has rationalized his past in order to try and make peace with it.

Do I think his son is being purposely malicious? No. Again, I think he believes he's just telling the truth of his experience and may even believe he's helping others by relating it.

Does any of that make it better? Absolutely not. Ignorant slander is still slander, which is especially hurtful from a child who is likely getting their "facts" from the other divorced parent and the associated relatives.

Anyway, my advice to anyone reading this: if you have issues with a parent about your childhood, at least please try talking to them directly to ask about the reasons behind why they made certain choices that negatively affected you. Don't instead silently look for something to point at (an accident, a mental issue, etc.) to fantasize that parent into a total victim of that condition, in a misguided attempt to banish your anger by artificially transmuting it into pity.

Marcus was my absolute favorite on B5. This is just terribly sad.

#Jason Carter #Marcus Cole #Babylon 5 #i hate family drama #slander

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simping-i-guess · 4 years ago

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Scars of the Stampede

Characters with scars being self concious about them is a trope I really like so... whatever.

——————————

Not once in your months of travel with the legendary Vash the Stampede had you ever seen him unclothed. You had begun thinking his flirtatious nature towards you was simply all talk, as any time you made an attempt to push further than just a few kisses or fooling around, he'd quickly change focus to something else. You hardly questioned it, knowing he didn't owe you any form of physical intimacy, despite your craving for him.

It soon became apparent as to why he had never pursued something farther.

"Ah, (y/n)..." Vash looked over his shoulder, meeting your eyes with a sheepish gaze.

"I... just came to make sure you were doing okay." You mumbled on your words as your eyes slowly trailed down Vash's scarred body. All he had on was a pair of pants, allowing his full upper body to be on display. Your eyes flit from the scars on his shoulders down to the large one placed on his right pectoral. Your eyes continued to roam, trailing down his abdomen, looking to have been stitched up rather carelessly, as if the person doing it didn't care how it'd scar. Finally, your eyes landed on the scar wrapping around his side, looking jagged and pink even now that it was fully healed.

You didn't mean to stare or gawk, and perhaps you should have expected this from the Humanoid Typhoon- but you somehow still found yourself awed by the sheer amount of battery Vash's body had clearly sustained over the years. Finally, your eyes met his again, and you felt guilty seeing the somber expression placed on Vash's features.

"...may I come in? Or would you prefer me to leave?" Your question hung heavily in the air for a moment, before Vash gave a single, small nod.

"You can come in."

You stepped through the room's threshold, quietly pushing the door closed behind you. Vash sat himself down on the edge of the mattress, his elbows resting against his knees as he slightly hunched over. With a slow approach, you took a seat beside him, eyes staying locked on Vash's face. The silence permeated, only being broken by a soft chuckle from the man in front of you.

"I didn't want you to see all this." He told you, a familiar goofy smile being plastered on his features. But you knew him well enough to know that his smile was only hiding his true feelings... Shame? Embarrassment? Perhaps it was a mixture of both.

"Why?" You asked, your voice leaving your throat in a reluctant whisper. Vash laughed again, though no humor was present in it.

"Pretty girls shouldn't see beat up bodies like mine." Vash vaguely gestured down at his torso. "It's unsightly."

"I don't think so." You argued, though your voice still came out in a meek tone. Your eyes again dared to wander, and you examined the expansive scars decorating the Stampede's back. Not thinking much, you reached out, your fingers slowly tracing around one of the large, jagged scars. "It's proof of what you've managed to survive. There's nothing unsightly about that."

"Hm..." Vash hummed thoughtfully, his eyes coming to close. "You don't have to lie. I've been told how gross they are before."

"Tsh. By who?" You questioned, aggravation apparent in your tone.

"A few passerby here and there, maybe a woman or two... I've come to expect it."

Vash's answer frustrated you, and you were frustrated on his behalf. How dare they? You thought, brows pinching as you bit your inner cheek. How could they be so harsh to someone so kind?

You shifted, sitting on your knees to be a bit higher. With the delicate touch of a mother cradling a child, you pressed a kiss against Vash's shoulder. You were keenly aware of the rough texture brushing against your lips, but you weren't repulsed. No, not by any stretch of the word. You could only feel the swell of affection within your chest, heart fluttering against your ribs.

Vash didn't miss your action either- he watched you with a surprised expression, eyes staying trained on you as you pressed yet another kiss to his scarred shoulder.

"It's not unsightly, Vash." You repeated, now allowing your fingers to trace the scars on Vash's bicep. "At least, I don't think so, for whatever that's worth."

Vash's expression slowly settled into a very soft smile. With his free hand, he carefully stroked it down the side of your head, being careful not to press to hard with his metal digits. "Your opinion is worth a lot to me, (y/n)."

Despite his more accepting words, you could see behind his expression. He wasn't convinced. He still felt that his body was ugly, and you hated knowing that. You frowned, visible enough for Vash to comment.

"What's wrong?" He asked. You didn't respond verbally, only placing a hand on his chest and giving him an encouraging nudge. Vash slowly settled himself onto his elbows, his eyes staring up at you through his lashes. "Wh-"

"All the way down, Vash." You commanded, though your tone never hardened. You caught the way Vash's cheeks flushed as his back hit the mattress, the soft thud giving way to silence yet again.

Wordlessly, you straddled Vash's hips, keeping yourself above his sensitive areas. This wasn't the first time you had straddled the man, though the way his face flushed could lead you to believe otherwise.

With slow, delicate touches, you pressed the tips of your fingers against Vash's jaw, and slowly began working your way down. Your dragged your fingers against his skin, stopping at each scar along the way. You payed them extra attention, carefully stroking down them with the pads of your fingers. You felt Vash shudder beneath you, and you paused your actions.

"Are you okay?" You asked, trying to find the answer within Vash's complicated expression. "Is it hurting you?"

"N-... No, it's not..." Vash's response was stuttered.

"Does it feel good? Bad?" You allowed your head to tilt slightly with your question.

"Ah, good... definitely good..." Vash paused, his brows knitting slightly. "It's just-"

"No one has ever touched you like this before?" You interrupted him, letting out a disgruntled sound when he confirmed with a nod. "Figures." Your thumbs carefully swiped across one of the scars on Vash's chest. "I'm sure if someone ever had given you this kind of attention, you'd think a lot differently about these." You softly stroked your finger down a long, raised scar on Vash's ribcage.

Vash didn't speak. From his expression, he didn't seem to know what to say, but it was obvious that he didn't want you to stop. He relaxed more and more under your tender touch, his eyes carefully fluttering closed as your hands danced across the scars etched into his hips.

While your hands had come to their destination, you would carry on. Pulling any stray hair away from your face, you leaned down to press a chaste kiss on Vash's chest. You heard his breath hitch, but the way his hand gently rested against your shoulder seemed to invite you to continue.

One by one, you planted soft kisses on each of his accessible scars, peppering multiple little kisses on the larger ones. Down the straight scar sliced down his abdomen you kissed, covering every inch of it with affection. The hand on your shoulder slowly moved up to caress your cheek, and you softly laid your hand against the back of his, turned your head and placed a kiss on his weathered palm. Then, remembering the scar that wrapped around his wrist, you pulled his hand away just enough to get a firm idea on where to plant your next kiss- right against the inside of his wrist, and against the scar that had been put there.

Vash squirmed a bit, letting a soft breath escape from between his previously closed lips. He cracked an eye open to peer at you, only to meet your hooded gaze. Maintaining full eye contact, you pulled his arm up just a few inches, placing an especially long, tender kiss against the scar lining his extensor. Again, Vash shuddered, and a soft noise escaped his throat. He still didn't look away, no- he couldn't take his eyes off of you.

"You're in no way unsightly, Vash." You allowed your voice to come out a rough whisper, and you offered Vash a quaint smile. "Truly, I think you're very beautiful."

Vash offered you but a single nod. He didn't question you or assert otherwise, nor did he seem embarrassed anymore. If anything, he looked rather sultry, looking up at you with a half lidded gaze and his lips slightly parted.

With a final kiss to his knuckles, you were ready to get off of Vash, not wanting to push him farther. "Are you ready to sleep?" You asked.

"Ah..." Vash seemed... hesitant. His free hand hovered over your hip, but didn't make contact. Your brows raised, and you wondered... "I... If you'd be up for..." Vash couldn't seem to find the words he wanted.

You let yourself chuckle a little- Vash acted so smooth and flirty when you first met, but now you could plainly see that it was mostly all talk. Still, you wouldn't pass up the chance to show Vash more intimately just how beautiful and wonderful you thought he was.

"I thought you'd never ask."

——————

Full version with smut available here~!

#vash the stampede #vash x reader #trigun #x reader

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chrisevansgoodgirl · 4 years ago

Text

i've heard allegations 'bout your reputation, i'll show you my shadows if you show yours

summary: requested (like a year ago, sorry!) Reader and Andy getting in a legitimate fight or maybe flirting in front of him with one of his colleagues to get under his skin because he hasn’t touched her in weeks from being so busy jealous Andy would be so dominant I’m weak i took some liberties and set it at the christmas eve party at andy’s office.

warnings: andrew barber being r o u g h 😩 😩 😩 and jealous 😩 and mean bc i just so deeply want this man to yell at me and pull my hair bc he’s an angry daddy, however, he is not called daddy in this story bc i don’t do it unless you guys ask me to. so smut, and he’s in charge and i’m dead about it. more videos being made bc apparently that’s on my mind.

word count: around 7,500

pairing: andy barber x reader

a/n: i hate that it took me so long to post this but here i am, almost a month late with a christmas eve party story. i have very little shame tbh.

You were not unreasonable, no matter what Andy claimed. You could always admit what was your fault—which was about 80% of all disagreements—but Andy had his faults, too. Tonight? Well, you weren’t innocent…but you were not the only one to blame.

This was the third Christmas party he had taken you to. The first year had not completely been his doing. Lynn had been bothering him about it and he would have gotten away with pretending it just wasn’t possible had Lynn not run into you at the coffee shop near Andy’s house.

You had been accustomed to Andy by then. He didn’t put distance between you two because he wanted to, he just simply wasn’t the best at getting close. You practically forced him into sometimes, and it had never gone wrong, so he trusted you. A lot.

You weren’t sure you were going to be able to say that much longer. You had your moments, those situations where you pushed him just a little too far. Not so far that he was angry about it, but far enough that you ended up with a sore ass and maybe a few finger-shaped bruises on your skin.

As if that was an incentive to stop?

Lately, things had been…off. Andy was working on a big case, one that he had just finished the day before. You expected that he was going to come home and make up for not having touched you in 17 days. Yet, that didn’t happen.

You weren’t trying to complain too much. The “honeymoon phase” was something that could not be applied to your relationship because you were as happy as any other day, you loved him more and more as time went on, and you guys always had sex. Always.

But there were the cases that sometimes threw a slight pause in that. That was fine, you understood and it wasn’t like you were with Andy for sex. You loved that man so fucking much, you could deal with some neglect for a little bit. Emphasis on a little bit.

17 days with no immediate plans to remedy it was crossing a line. So, on the 18th night, the night of his office Christmas party, after he merely kissed your head, told you that you looked beautiful, and didn’t fuck you in your tiny, sparkly dress, you also wanted to cross a line. A specific line because it was hard to get a reaction out of him any other way.

Andrew Barber was a jealous man. It was something you never played with because he was jealous. He wasn’t some immature idiot who was going to cause a scene, but he would interrogate you about people he felt were “suspicious”.

On your way to the party, he had wanted to catch up. He felt like this was the first time he was able to breathe since he was put on the case, and he had noticed some distance between you two. You told him about the very basic parts of your day—work, friends, family.

When he placed his hand on your thigh, you had to wonder if this was a game. Why hadn’t he fucked you? Was he trying to make you beg? That was something Andy thoroughly enjoyed, and you trusted him so much that you rarely ever knew when he was doing it. If you stopped to think about it, you would probably find a few times he’d managed to get away with it.

He let you hold his hand and to avoid having to pull away from you, he told you when to move the gear shift. It was cute, too cute for how long you two had been together, but Andy seemed willing to indulge you. He always did when he could.

But as soon as he got to the party, there was more work talk and he had basically pawned you off on Lynn. She was thrilled, of course, she rarely had time for friendships, but she valued Andy, and because of that, she loved you almost as much as he did.

It had been two hours by the time you were completely fed up. Lynn had decided she was about to head out, so she was making her rounds, and that meant that you were stuck with the other partners. Men, women, they were all talking about how great their lawyers had been lately.

Yet, reminder, you hadn’t been fucked in nearly 18 days. You weren’t going to sit around and listen to that for the whole night, you innocently decided to wander a bit. Andy was talking about his case and seemed almost oblivious to your presence. Why did he even bring you? He was the one that reminded you about it, you probably wouldn’t have realized it had gone by until well into next year since work was so hectic.

Regardless, without an answer, you were left to entertain yourself. What else were you supposed to do? Just sit around all night and not speak to anyone? Andy was a complicated man and he had only a handful of people at the job that he liked, but fewer people that he disliked. Most people, he felt indifferent about, and those were the pawns for your current game.

You flit all around the party, laughing, talking to everyone, and though you saw him seeking out your whereabouts every now and then, there was no reaction at all. He didn’t care that some of these sleazy men were staring at your cleavage or your legs—two things he should have done earlier but did not.

By the time you’d nearly spoken to everyone, you felt…possessed, there was no better way to describe it. You were mad and confused and tired, and till the day you died, you would swear on everything you held sacred, the following was not part of your plan. You simply had no other choice than to go along with it when it practically fell in your lap.

Andy hadn’t noticed your best attempts but as soon as Neal was standing in front of you, he was watching. You had not and would not have gone to Neal, it was the other way around. He was possibly picking up on all your sadness and desperation, he was probably able to spot attention-seeking from a mile away since he pulled those kinds of stunts regularly.

Andy was finally paying attention to you and that was why you didn’t walk away. Your boyfriend could deny it all he wanted, but you saw something in his eyes. There was that anger, of course, but there was also that dark gleam. The one that he had when he liked to lay you out under him and remind you who you belong to.

That was all you wanted, that was the only reasoning behind your actions. You didn’t think you’d done anything wrong, not until you laughed at something Neal said and he laughed back, and then he touched your shoulder.

And that was when you knew things had gone too far. You crossed a line, and you should have known better than even trying to use Neal. Because he envied Andy to no end, understandably. Why wouldn’t he try to flirt with you? No one got Andy as angry as Neal, and you should have just put your ego aside and spoken to your boyfriend.

But that window had closed and your time for being a mature, communicating adult was over. You quickly broke away from Neal after that and Andy took only seconds before he was dragging your ass out of that party and to the car.

You weren’t sure what to do. Pretend you didn’t know what the big deal was? Maybe just start blurting out apologies. He opened the car door for you, ushered you in, and then got into the driver’s seat in complete silence.

Andy had been mad at you before, but he had never been so angry he wouldn’t look at you or speak to you. He was gripping the steering wheel so tight that his knuckles were white. His jaw set, brow furrowed, shoulders tense—he stayed that way the entire drive.

Andy wasn’t like this, he usually always had his temper in control. You were worried because you were one of the few people Andy sincerely trusted. It would devastate you if this gave him pause.

When he stopped the car, it became uncomfortably silent. It had taken you almost a minute to decide where you wanted to take this. “Andy, I’m—”

“Don’t apologize.”

“But I am s—”

“Get upstairs, take your dress off, and wait for me on the bed.”

Shit. You fumbled with the handle for a moment, scurrying inside and up the stairs. This was everything that you had wanted, wasn’t it? Then why the fuck were you nervous? Why were you shaking? Why did the idea of a black hole appearing and swallowing you sound so appealing?

You took off your dress and hung it back in your closet. You’d only been in it for a few hours, that didn’t warrant an actual wash. Shakily, you made your way back to the bed and sat there. What about your bra and panties? He hadn’t said. Your shoes? Fuck, what were you supposed to do?

Andy walked in and flipped on the light.

Idiot, why hadn’t you done that?

He made his way to the dresser off to the side of the bedroom, he removed his jacket first, then his cuff links and his tie. He started rolling up his sleeves and you had to look away.

You turned down to your lap. “You didn’t tell me if you wanted me to keep anything else on.”

“I also didn’t tell you that you could speak,” he asserted.

Your stomach dropped, the mere thought of not following his directions was unsettling. When Andy got like this, you wanted to do what he told you to. You wanted him to think you were his good girl. Any time you failed at absolute perfection, you didn’t take it well.

You didn’t know if you should apologize or remain silent. You were wringing your hands, something you became aware of only when he made his way in front of you and placed his hands over yours. You startled slightly, looking up at him.

He grabbed your chin with his thumb and forefinger, keeping your head tilted back. “Are you nervous?”

“I don’t know,” you muttered. You didn’t want him to feel bad because you were feeling some type of way. You also didn’t want to think this had anything to do with him. He’d never given you reason to be nervous.

“Are you scared?”

“Kind of.”

“Why?”

“I don’t want to disappoint you.”

He leaned down, face directly in front of yours. “Before we start, I need you to understand that you’ve never disappointed me. Okay?”

You nodded. “Okay.” That didn’t really help as much as he probably thought it would. Even if you hadn’t disappointed him, there was always the chance that you would. And you weren’t sure he was being completely honest anyway. Neal? What the fuck was wrong with you?

“You don’t need to be nervous or scared, just be completely honest with me.”

“Of course.” You would never lie to him.

“Who do you belong to?”

Your answer was immediate, you didn’t even need to think about it. Recalling life before you met Andy was a bit blurry. Who had you been? Where? What had you wanted? “You.”

“So,” he ran his thumb over your bottom lip, “this mouth…”

“Is yours,” you confirmed.

He hummed, fingers trailing from your face all the way down, between your breasts, over your stomach, stopping at the band of your panties. He paused, noting the shakiness in your breath, the goosebumps on your skin, your hands that were gripping the sheets.

Abruptly, his hand dropped to where you had been expecting it to. Your breath hitched and your hips jumped off the bed, desperate for his touch.

He made a small noise of disapproval and you hurriedly settled back down on the bed. “This pussy? Is that mine, too?”

You nodded. “Yes.”

He pulled your panties off to the side and his fingers ran up your wet skin at an agonizing pace. He brought them up to his lips and his tongue slipped out to taste you. He smiled because you had managed to stay almost completely still, apart from a bit of squirming. “You’re such a good girl, baby. You know that’s one of my favorite things about you, how good you are for me.”

That gave you these awful butterflies and you felt hot everywhere. That was all you ever needed to hear. His hand returned to your center and his first finger slid into you. You looked down to see but he grabbed your jaw again and turned you back up.

“Keep watching me, baby.”

He liked to test you, you knew that. He would give you an order and try to make you disobey him. This time, when his hand fell away from your face, you forced yourself to keep your head tilted. You ignored that burning part of you that wanted to see his fingers pushing in and pulling out, covered in what was dripping from your pussy.

You focused on just feeling. One thick finger was slowly working you open for him, he always stretched you out as much as he could meaning you had to be prepared for some teasing. He prioritized this because he was big and he knew it—and you had been smitten enough before he fucked you, but after, there wasn’t a second of the day your body didn’t crave Andy’s.

Despite how rough Andy could be with you, and how generally tough he was, he liked to baby you. Sometimes, he liked treating you as delicately as one would a bouquet of flowers. He could see a lot of comparisons if he really thought about it. You were beautiful, soft, and smelled so sweet. And if he didn’t pay attention to you, well, he’d been reminded of those consequences at the party.

You kept your eyes on his the entire time. You didn’t falter when he added his second finger, nor when he curled his fingers against that spot inside you, nor when his thumb pressed down firmly on your clit.

He pressed one hand down on your shoulder, a cue to lie back. After you had obliged, he pulled his fingers out of you and told you to open your mouth. You instantly did so, closing around his fingers as soon as they were in your reach.

He pressed his fingers down and kept going until your body jerked and the noise of you gagging echoed in the room. “I wanna see those beautiful lips wrapped around my cock, baby girl.”

You eagerly sat up, still sucking on his fingers as you pulled his belt apart, yanked the button of his pants open, and tore down the zipper. Glancing up at him to look for any signs that you didn’t have his permission to proceed, you pushed his pants and boxers down cautiously until his cock was out.

He pulled his fingers from your mouth and nodded. “Go ahead, baby.”

You moved back on the bed and situated yourself onto your stomach, propping up on your elbows. One hand wrapped around his hard length and you let the tip of your tongue come out to catch the precum dripping from his tip.

He released a shaky breath, hands at his sides because he wanted you running the show. For a while, a least. He didn’t want to guide you, he wanted to see how exactly you were going to make up for your slight misstep at the party.

You ran your tongue up his shaft lightly, feigning that whole soft act that you knew he loved. It wasn’t so much an act, but you had been bent over his desk, hair pulled, ass spanked, both holes thoroughly used. But you liked soft, too. You liked slow and gentle mornings, whispered words, careful touching. You liked whatever he wanted to give you.

You closed your lips around just the head of his cock and sucked. Unlike all other men you had been with, Andy was as patient as a saint. He loved when you teased him. Once, he had you edge him with your mouth for nearly an hour and thinking about how he fucked you after still made your toes curl.

His eyes closed and he sighed. “Fuck, baby.” His hand lightly settled on the back of your head. “So good, I could fuck your mouth for the rest of my life.” He didn’t push you down, he just ran his hand through your hair over and over because he knew how much you liked him to play with your hair.

But then his hold tightened and he pulled you off, much to your dismay. He noted your pout and pleading eyes but was kind enough not to taunt you about them. “Get on your back, sweetheart.”

You knew what he wanted as soon as he stepped away. You quickly climbed up toward the edge of the bed and rolled over, bending your neck over the mattress. You automatically opened your mouth for him, but he placed his hands on your shoulders first.

“Relax.” He leaned over and ran his hands along your arms, setting them on the mattress. He pressed your thighs down, waiting until you had lost all the tension in your body. He curled his hand around his length and stroked several times with a loose hand and a slow pace.

You watched in utter fascination. It never failed to get you wet when Andy showed so much control, over himself, over you. He was in charge of every little thing and you could tell that he got off on that. Every time he reached the head of his cock, he would press down so slightly, so close to your lips but just not enough.

“Andy,” you whispered. “Please.”

He smirked again. “Open your mouth for me.” And as soon as you did, he was slowly sliding in. He was slow at first, keeping his hips still as he slipped the straps of your bralette past your shoulders. He rolled the remaining material down until your breasts were exposed and squeezed them in his hands.

You pressed your thighs together, arching up into his hands more. You tried to relax your throat for him, knowing he was only stopping to give you a moment to prepare.

He pinched your nipples painfully and didn’t stop until you whined. He loved feeling you make that sound when his cock was down your throat, and the deep breaths as the pain faded away. Again, he tortured your nipples between his thumb and forefinger, yanked a little, until you were squirming all around the bed, making these noises around him that he rarely ever heard, your eyes filled with tears.

He leaned over quickly, releasing your breasts so he could give them both a brief kiss. You closed your eyes, humming in satisfaction. He took his time sinking his teeth into your sore, erect nipples and you squealed both times, back arching again. His tongue rolled over your stinging skin and you tilted your head eagerly, attempting to take more of him.

Sometimes, it was enough to get him naturally high, how much power he had over you, your body. He could hurt you and you would thank him; he could turn around and give you just a second of gentleness and you looked at him like you’d never loved anyone as much as you loved him. You claimed that, quite often. Andy wasn’t sure if he believed that, not because he didn’t trust you but because he wasn’t wired to think of himself as special in any way. Why you treated him like he was, was confusing to him at times.

But you were special, so fucking special. You were smart and funny, and so kind to every single person you encountered. It was a nice change from the environment he regularly found himself in. That was what you were supposed to be—a breath of fresh air from his hard life. You were not supposed to become his only source of oxygen, yet there he was. It didn’t seem he was reliant on you because Andy wasn’t comfortable expressing reliance on anyone, but he knew he was.

He stood and watched your body move with those deep, sharp breaths you were taking. Abruptly, his hand whipped across one breast, then the other. You cried out, a nice vibration around him, and now you were quivering. It was so easy for him to play your body like this because you were just needy enough that anything would have given you pleasure. Another thing he knew, another thing that made him so damn cocky.

“Open your legs,” he told you and you parted your thighs. Again, he pulled aside your lace panties and pushed two of his fingers inside you. Your cunt was dripping, your arousal gushing out as his fingers thrust in, curled, searched for that spot that made your eyes roll back. The noise of it made his cock twitch.

Your pussy was throbbing, yearning for the release that only this man could give you. You didn’t care how he did it, you just needed Andy. Hands, mouth, cock, you would take anything he wanted you to have.

“Listen to that greedy pussy,” he directed, voice low and quiet. “So desperate to be filled and fucked. But by who, baby?”

Your stomach twisted at not being able to answer him. That was why he asked when you had your mouth full of him, because if you could speak, you would blurt out reassurances that it was only him.

“Me?” he pressed.

You spoke, despite knowing it was going to sound like nonsense.

“And no one else?”

You were quick with your denial. And maybe, by now, since his cock was always in your mouth, he was a professional at understanding what you were saying. Or possibly, it was just the look in your eyes.

“You sure, baby?”

Once more, your voice came out muffled but hurried, almost panicked. He had to know that you didn’t even think about anyone else. He had to know that you thought he was the most beautiful man in the world.

He dragged his free hand up your body and it settled over your neck. Finally, he pulled out from your mouth only to thrust back in harshly. You choked, your throat contracting around him while he massaged his thumb and finger over your pulse points. He let you breathe through it before he started rocking his hips ever so slightly. You could feel him moving along your tongue and your cheeks, but they were small motions.

You always loved this position; it was easier to take all of him. It was easier to breathe on your back with your chest open, and, unlike being on your knees, it left you open for him.

He leaned forward slightly, pressing one hand off to the side of the bed while the other reached between your legs. His fingers danced along your skin without any real intent, but occasionally, he would touch your clit.

You were reaching for any part of him you could touch. Your hands mindlessly grasped at his back and kept slipping off because of his shirt. You couldn’t ask but you wanted it off. He felt your hands working open his buttons and decided to let you have something. He was going to take and take tonight, he could give you a little.

He stood up and loosened his tie enough to pull it off, then shrugged his shirt off. Once again, his palm settled to your neck. “You should see yourself right now. Shaking, wet, such a good girl.”

You reached up, gripping one hand in his pants, the other around the buckle of his belt and you pulled him in more until your throat was struggling.

“Easy, baby.” He took your hands off him, keeping a hold of one and placing the next back down on the bed. He pulled out carefully, dragging his hand up, and inch by inch, pushed back in. “You should see how deep I’m getting. I can see it right here.” The palm of his hand hovered over your skin, just enough that you could feel him, and he followed his cock again, letting you know how much of him you were taking.

It was a lot of him, not enough. And he was deep, but you needed more. You whined, a plea for him to move this along. He couldn’t want to drag this out, not after almost 18 days.

Again, he leaned over until he could touch you. His hips moved steadily, a controlled move that matched how strategically he was working your cunt, everywhere but the most sensitive part of you.

You hated that you couldn’t beg, but it wasn’t as if he didn’t know. It wasn’t as if you weren’t shaking or if your cunt wasn’t clenching desperately, you knew if he couldn’t feel it, he could at least see it. This went on for several moments, he was proud of how well you were taking him, and wanted to give you some type of award.

You were more than just caught off guard when you felt his lips against one of your thighs. Fuck. He couldn’t, you wouldn’t last long. But he went on, scattering kisses over your thighs, fucking your mouth just a fraction harder as he grew closer to your pussy.

As he licked down from your clit to your entrance, your eyes rolled back. Your hips jumped off the bed and one of his hands held you down in response. You were trembling, whining utter nonsense.

Several times, his tongue ran through you and you’d been so worked up, so wet and frustrated since he’d pulled you out of the party, since he hadn’t fucked you in a while, and this was just happening too fast. You wanted to focus on him, you wanted to apologize in the best way you knew how.

You tried to push him back with your hands on his thighs, but you were nowhere near strong enough.

He turned his head to kiss your thigh again. His hips stilled, most of his cock out of your mouth just in case. “Do you need a moment, baby?”

You debated. If you actually made him stop, made him pull out even if just for a second solely so you could ask him not to make you come...he would be outraged. He might even turn you over and spank you. But he also might not let you come at all. You would die, you knew you would.

You let your hands fall away.

“You okay?”

You hummed slowly, comfortably.

Still, one hand settled on your hip bone to keep you from moving, the other you felt on the back of your thigh close to your ass. He kissed your pussy slowly, sucking at your skin just a little, but not your clit, not yet.

He was careful as he began fucking your mouth again, worried he had pushed you too far. He waited until he was sure you were okay before he sucked your clit between his lips and slipped two fingers into you.

You whined around him as your body shuddered.

He kissed you again, several times to get you to calm down. “It’s okay, baby girl. Be a good girl for me.”

So, you understood, he realized that you wanted to object to this, but Andy was the greediest man you had ever had in bed. You weren’t surprised that he just didn’t care. You found it hard to mind as he began fucking his fingers in and out of you, sloppy, wet noises echoing around the room.

He was sucking again and you were desperately clutching at any part of him you could, his sides, his legs. You weren’t pushing him away now, you were pulling him in.

You were so close, your body arching up as much as it could. You felt tension building in every part of your body. Your own hands came up to your breasts mostly because you knew he would feel your hands moving underneath him.

“Fuck,” he cursed. He left your cunt neglected of his mouth for several moments, only using his fingers, as his cock drove down your throat hard.

You were choking loudly, your body again moving wildly as you gagged. It couldn’t have been more than a few times but they were determined thrusts, you were sure he was going to come in your mouth.

Instead, he pulled out completely and you whined shortly. You didn’t want him to go, but you couldn’t say that. All you could do was try to catch your breath. He didn’t even give you a moment to protest before his face was buried in your cunt.

In seconds, you were a mewling, moaning mess for him. Your body was so tight, so full of unbearable tension. You were shaking, sweating, your pussy was loud and soaking wet and you knew you were dripping everywhere, on him, on the bed.

He didn’t tease, he wanted to let you come because he wanted you coming all night. His favorite form of punishment was too much of a good thing, not withholding how much he enjoyed touching you.

You finished with a scream loud enough that the neighbors probably heard. Again.

Andy touched you through it until you stopped moving, save for the shaking aftershocks when he got a tad too close to your clit. When you were loose and sated on the bed, he started to sit you up.

You quickly turned to him, grasping his face. “I love you, only you.”

“I know, sweetheart.”

“I would never look at anyone else.”

“I believe you.” Even if he didn’t, this was not the place to voice that. This...state he got you in when he was this dominant, this demanding, was not completely unlike you. It was just a very obedient, sensitive version of you that he knew he had to be careful with. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt your feelings.

He touched your face and that was when you realized you were crying, he was wiping away your tears. It was either from your finish or from choking on him, you weren’t completely sure. “You’re okay?”

You nodded quickly. “I’m okay.”

He kissed your forehead and you felt hot. As if what you two were just doing wasn’t filthy, this was what made your heart beat faster and gave you those butterflies in your stomach.

He pulled back and kept hold of your face. “What does my baby girl want?”

“I want to feel you inside me.”

As his lips met yours, he began removing all the remaining clothing on either of your bodies. He moved you up the bed until he could lay your head on a pillow and then positioned himself over you.

“I love you.”

“I love you, too,” he promised. “Keep saying it.”

As he carefully pushed into you, you continued to tell him you love him. You stared at him the whole time, willing your body to relax for him. He didn’t like it when you got so worked up, especially over the games he played in the bedroom. The thing with Neal was bad but it was over and you knew he wasn’t mad at you. He wouldn’t fuck you like this if he was.

You clutched onto his shoulders, trying to hold him as close to you as you possibly could. He was the one that grabbed your legs and cued you to wrap them around his body. His cock sliding into your pussy was a feeling you couldn’t understand why he’d left you deprived of.

Once his hips were settled against your thighs and he was completely buried inside you, you reached up to his face. You loved his cheekbones, you could trace them with your touch for days if he let you. And his beard, you loved feeling his beard under your fingertips.

He let you do this, explore him as if you could possibly forget anything after all the other times you did it. You remembered the first time he fucked you, you couldn’t stop staring, you couldn’t stop touching—he was so painfully beautiful. He was so patient with you, always had been, and now, despite how badly you felt his need to move, to fuck you, he was going to wait for you to be ready.

“You did this on purpose,” you muttered.

“Did what?”

“You didn’t fuck me. For 17 days. You…wanted me to make a scene—”

“That’s a pretty serious accusation.”

“I could take it to court and win,” you countered.

He smirked. “Could you? What’s my motive?”

“You like being possessive. You like dragging me out of places, you like bringing me home, you like reminding me who I belong to.”

“And were you reminded?”

“No one really belongs to anyone or anything at the end of the day—”

“No,” he interjected, tone sharp. You always liked that tone. “You belong to me.”

“Maybe…”

“You are mine,” he repeated. “And you’re going to say it or we’re going to have a long night.”

“I will say it if you admit this was your plan all along.”

“You think I wanted you to flirt with Neal?”

Your stomach flipped. “I wasn’t—”

He nodded, placing a hand on your shoulder. “I know, I didn’t mean to word it like that. I know you weren’t—”

You felt slightly like you were about to panic. Flirting with Neal? No. “Never, I would never—”

He shushed you. “I know, baby. I know you wouldn’t because you are a good girl. I promise I know that.”

You settled somewhat but that lingering feeling in the pit of your stomach was hard to ignore. Flirting with Neal? You couldn’t bear him thinking you would ever do that to him. Flirting in general with people Andy felt indifferent to was off the table unless you wanted to placate his desires. Certainly, he had to know that.

“I wanted to hear you beg,” he insisted. “That was what I wanted. I wanted honest begging because you are so fucking beautiful begging for my cock.”

You huffed. “Well, you should have asked.”

“I didn’t want to have to ask.”

“You could have given me a hint. I was going around your party trying to get your attention—”

“You had it, you always do. Now, tell me who you belong to.”

“I think we all belong to the stars.”

“No,” he sighed.

“Or the moon, people who experience menstruation especially. The moon controls us, it’s been studied by scientists. There are articles.”

“Scientific articles do not support that,” he asserted and you couldn’t help but laugh. Andy was exact. He didn’t believe in anything he couldn’t see or that couldn’t be proven. Even now, inside you, he couldn’t turn that part of his brain off.

“Baby,” he sighed as his hand came up to curl around your neck. It just rested there, a heavy reminder of all the times in the past he had held you like that, or those other times when he applied just the right amount of pressure. “I want to fuck you, I want to make you cry, I want you to be shaking after I’m done with you, I want to fill you up with my cum. Don’t you want that?”

You nodded, once again turned on beyond comprehension.

“Then be good and say what I want you to say. Don’t make me make you say it.”

“What if I want you to make me?”

“You don’t.”

Andy’s punishments were always so elaborate and such a blur. He knew how to reduce you to nothing but need, and you needed him so badly sometimes. He loved seeing you like that, but he didn’t always like taking you there. He knew how careful he needed to be during and after, so he reserved it for major misbehavior.

You brought one hand up and set it on his forearm. You could feel his skin and his muscles. “I belong to you.”

Just barely, as he stared at your face, his hold tightened. Your breath stuttered but you made sure not to get too worked up too soon. You didn’t want him to have to stop before he finished inside you.

“That can never happen again, baby.”

“I know. It never will. I’m so—”

He tightened his hand again. “Don’t say sorry.”

You didn’t understand why he wouldn’t let you say the one word you so badly needed to say.

“I don’t blame you, sweetheart, I’m just saying…it can’t happen again.”

You caught the lead of his tone. “But what if it does?”

“I might have to make sure he knows that you’re mine.”

You wanted him to let the whole world know. You knew he saw your eyes light up because he smirked. “How would you do that?”

“I might have to let him see how I fuck you. I might have to show him how I can make you beg for me, or how willingly you bend over when I’m going to spank you. I might have to show him how wet you get after I mark up your ass, maybe how whiny you get when my hand is around your throat. But maybe I’ll just have to send him the video I’ve been recording tonight, how well you can suck my cock, how badly you want to.”

You were stunned for a moment—recording? Where was the camera? The idea of Andy recording you was such a turn on. You loved making videos for him, but you’d always wanted to see one where he was with you. “You’ve been recording?”

“Would you be okay with that if I was?”

“Yes. I want to watch you fuck me.”

“You’re such a good girl.” He pulled his hips back once and then snapped up noisily, pulling a moan from your throat. “You know how much I love that sound? When you can hardly breathe but you still make all those noises you know I want to hear.”

He leaned in to kiss you, hips stilled, hand still wrapped around your neck. It was brief, a reward, a reminder. You were being good and he loved you, but he was going to fuck you.

You broke away, nodding to let him know you were ready, that you wanted this. “Please.”

He rolled over so you were on top of him. He kept his hold on your neck to keep you sitting up and used his opposite hand to grab your ass. After he kneaded your skin hard enough he knew it would bruise, he spanked you loudly, harshly. Your body jerk forward, taking him in deeper than you knew was possible.

You whined, trying to pull back a little. He gripped your ass again and held you there. It was painful but exciting, you wanted him to push your limits tonight. He so rarely did, concerned with pleasing you second and treating you delicate first.

He let you go only to spank your other ass cheek. Again, you moved forward and you felt fuller than you ever had. You ached between your legs, almost uncomfortably but the idea of having him this deep in your body was making you wetter by the second. You were dripping, you could see how wet his skin was, how much of a mess he was making of your pussy.

“Ride me, sweetheart.”

You found a comfortable position, your hands on either side of his waist in the mattress. He settled his arm between your breasts so he could still see them moving as you began jerking your hips back and forth. They were sharp, abrupt movements because you wanted to come so bad, you could hardly think of anything else. Save for your disbelief over the fact that he was making you do this yourself. But you didn’t argue because the last thing you wanted was punishment for talking back.

He closed his hand more, every sound you made was short and strangled. You moved faster, knowing he was closer when he choked you harder. His free hand took one of your breasts. He was so delicate at first, a gentle, slow touch before he was pinching your nipple so hard you were whining. He smacked your breast and you shuddered, nearly falling forward onto him, but he kept you up. Mostly because he wanted to do it again to your other breast.

Every slap against your breasts—loud and stinging, always surprising because he didn’t want you to have the comfort of a pattern—was pushing you closer to your orgasm. You were mindlessly bouncing on his cock, uncaring of the pain you felt every time you came down just a little too hard for how big he was. You felt like an animal, like you were simply a victim to your body’s depraved, primal desires.

You finished first, screaming things you would be impressed if he actually understood. You could cry, the tension built over days was finally all gone.

He rolled over once more, taking his spot on top again.

You clung to him, legs and arms, pulling him in like you would die if he wasn’t close enough. You needed to feel his whole body against yours.

“Hear that, baby?”

Oh, you heard. You’d been trying to ignore it, but of course, not if Andy had any say in it.

“Hear how wet your pussy is?”

So wet. Every time he pulled out and pushed in, the noise would fill the room. You only nodded.

Since you were wrapped around him so tightly, it wasn’t difficult for him to grab your hip and move you up the bed with him. He set you against the headboard, the pillows under the small of your back, propping you up for him.

He was on his knees now for more leverage. You knew he was going to fuck you hard. “Look at this, baby.” He slowly pulled out and you turned down to watch. “See how messy you’re getting my cock?”

“Yes,” you whined.

He grabbed his cock, used it to drag up and down your cunt several times.

“Andy, please.”

He shushed you, a slow, calm action that contrasted when he smacked the head of his cock against your clit.

You gasped and your hips jerked forward.

“Stay still,” he warned.

He did it over and over, and enjoyed watching you fail at trying to stay seated on the bed. He thrust in completely, quick and hard, only to pull out and smack your clit again. This was his routine for what felt like an agonizing hour, but you knew it was nowhere near that long. You knew even he didn’t have that kind of patience.

You cried out when he finally buried himself inside you again. As he pushed forward, he pulled you down. His fingers found your clit and you were soon tumbling over that edge once more.

As he finished, he pulled you on top of him, lying back on the bed. One arm wrapped tight around your back to pin you against his chest, his opposite hand tangled in your hair tightly. He hid his face in the bend of your neck, grunting as his hips continued to rock just slightly.

He kept you there for several long moments until he had completely satisfied himself. You were intoxicated being this close to him. You angled your head as much as you could and kissed the side of his face.

He turned over, setting you on the bed as he pulled out. You watched him curiously, moving to sit up with him. He made a disapproving noise and you laid back again. Once again, he made his way to the dresser and grabbed his phone.

“You were seriously recording?”

He arched an eyebrow. “Do I usually bluff?”

Nope, never.

“Now I have a reference if you ever forget how a good girl is supposed to act.”

You suppressed an eye roll.

“Open your legs.” He came closer, directing the camera at your pussy. He touched you, spreading his cum all over your skin, rubbing circles around your clit, just barely dipping his fingers into you.

You watched his face the whole time. You loved how much Andy loved you and when he stared at you after fucking you, it was hard to miss. He was obsessed with you and he never minded showing it.

For almost a month, you watched that video every day. You were fascinated by him, the way he moved, the way he touched you. After that, you started wanting to record more and Andy never minded.

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