#i've been thinking about the song about which song would be in all fan made character playlists of myself

[itsays]

.

[hyunjining]

(so sorry if any of this comes out as sarcastic/mean its not)

So like I've never been into kpop or celebrity stuff or anything (aka my blorbos are only fictional characters) but youve shown up on my dash a couple times recently and you seem like a chill person to ask so like- What's the like *vibe* with fandoms like these? Like whats the interesting part about these people to u thats enough to make a whole blog about them? Ive heard about people shipping them like theyre characters so it is that?? Is it the people themselves? Is it just the pretty factor? I'm assuming its not just the songs cuz ive seen a lot of fanfics n fandom stuff that are about the *people* instead n its made me really curious cuz i dont think I get it?

well, as someone who’s been in fandoms for real people for like 15 years at this point, i feel pretty qualified to answer this lol. the music is of course a big factor, at least for me. i wouldn’t closely follow anyone if i didn’t love their art. but i do love them as people too.

in the case of kpop, the industry puts a big emphasis on fan interaction and fanservice, and as a result there’s a lot of content that revolves solely around getting to know the idols (variety shows, vlogs) and forming a parasocial bond with them (fancalls, direct messaging, public forums that idols can comment on). which of course can be a bad thing, and kpop fans can get uniquely extreme about it, but my personal philosophy is always to treat artists as human beings and not assume that i know everything, because i obviously don’t.

anyway, with stray kids specifically, i really admire that they’re one of the few self-produced kpop groups and they all seem to have a genuine passion for making music and performing. they have a strong familial bond; they’re all very unique, strong personalities, and yet they come together so beautifully to pursue a common goal. the common goal being making really fucking good music that spans multiple genres.

they’re extremely funny and it’s a riot watching them bounce off each other. they’re literally all weird and insane in the best ways possible. they’re not perfect, they’ve messed up, but i think they’ve demonstrated that they have good hearts and they genuinely care about others. they try their best to make everyone feel welcome in their space, and they have a deep love and appreciation for their fans. and yes, they are outstandingly beautiful and just looking at them is gratifying in and of itself lmao.

in terms of shipping and fanfics, well. stray kids is a goldmine. lots of constant homoerotic tension between various pairings, which of course they play up in a fanservice way, but underlying all the messing around are very real bonds of love. and that’s all in addition to some very intentional and repeated queer-flagging from some members. but like generally they just love each other so much and it’s so palpable in everything they do that it’s just fun to explore the possibilities i guess. i can’t really speak for other idol groups, but that’s the deal with skz.

ultimately, i guess i would say the vibe of stanning idols is just… gushing over vlogs and ig posts and photoshoots and messages and getting really hyped about new music. but also worrying that they’ll fuck up because they’re human. and worrying about their wellbeing because the idol industry and fandoms can be absolutely brutal. and seeing a million fanwars a week about which group charts the best and sells out the most stadiums, but also about even stupider, more inconsequential things. but overall, if you curate your experience, it can be a lot of fun. i hope that answers your questions even a little bit lol, that kind of became me just raving about stray kids.

[tan1shere]

Double Trouble

Billie Eilish x Young Miko x female reader !

A/n: well well well, I was watching the whole interview of these fine mfs and finally got a storyline for this plot 😇 I hope you all enjoy this one. Choosing Oxytocin for the song as the lyrics fit the vibe 🤭 - also small disclaimer if the Spanish isn't correct pls let me know !! Google translate isn't always trusted lmaoo LONG !!

Summary: You're dating Billie and go with her to one of her small events, Young Miko happens to be interviewing her when later on things escalate.

Warnings: smut ! THREESOME !!! Billie and Miko are both dominant, sub reader. Overstimulation, strap usage, oral, (all r receiving) mommy kink, orgasm denial, think that's it, lmk if there's anything else. This one's going to be interesting, but enjoy 😈

Masterlist

Hearing fans scream as they call out for Billie. You were currently in the back just waiting for the interview to be done, listening to their voices. She happened to get Young Miko to interview her while she was in Mexico. Which was awesome, seeing as you had been a fan of her music for quite some time now. So there was no doubt you were fan girling just a little.

Once the event had finished they come into the back room, approaching you. "Hey baby, thought I'd introduce the two of you. Considering you're a fan of hers." You stand up, smiling at them both. "You like my music?" Miko asks, seeming a bit surprised. You nod at her question. "Most definitely, I've been listening for a few years now actually." You admit, she gives you a smile. "That's awesome honestly! Have you learnt any Spanish?" "Funnily enough yeah, I've learned a ton of new things just by listening." Your smile widens. Billie seemed a bit, distracted though. As if she had something brewing in her brain. Your curiosity got the better of you especially when she says this to Miko.

"Meet you there." Meet you there? Miko then salutes her with a small smirk. Your brows furrow, looking at your girlfriend. "What was that about." You had asked as you head for the car. "Just a little surprise we have for you." We??? There was something behind her eyes. Excitement, no? Maybe? You let your orbs linger over her own. Then it clicked you knew exactly that look and your eyes suddenly blew up in size. It was lust. She got that you were catching on, putting a hand on your thigh. "Now, I'm ok with it. But I want to make sure you are." It was all very secretive, until she catches you way off guard. Pulling into a parking lot which looked to be at a hotel. "You want Miko to touch you?"

She asks, breathing impossibly close to your face. Your cheeks heat up. I mean sure you'd have a little fan girl moment but you loved Billie, butttt you'd be lying If you said you hadn't imagined it just a tiny bit. "Go on, I know what you're thinking." Her fingers trace over your jaw. "You want her to baby?" You just nod, vividly. But her head shakes. "Uh uh, speak." Your breath hitches. "Yes.. yes I would.." Your eyes look into her growingly dark ones. "Good girl."

And that wasn't even close to the beginning of the best night of your life. Everything was very hush hush. This was incredibly wrong in many ways, but the thrill was overpowering that. "I'm a little nervous.." You admit to your girlfriend. "Don't be my girl, we are going to take good. Care of you." She speaks in such a velvet tone, making you clench your thighs. Already she had such an effect on you. That only made you wonder how Miko would be. Was this really happening.

Yep. It was. The door was being opened to her room, she lets the both of you in. Billie gives you a quick but passionate kiss. "Go strip babe." Your body felt tingly at the way she was speaking, filthy yet so damn sexy. You bite your lip. Billie loved to be in control, not in a horrible way ofcourse she just adored having that strength. "Do what you'd usually do, but listen to her. If she doesn't speak up. Make. Her." You swallow overhearing Billies husky voice saying that. "lo entendiste. - you got it." Miko says with a small smirk causing Billie to mirror that, but more evil.

You had stripped out of everything except your bra and underwear. Sitting nervously on the bed. Was this truly happening were you dreaming? You suddenly were being pulled out of your thoughts as you see the pretty Puerto Rican infront of you. "Hi angel." She smirks at your expression. You turn your head for a second to see where Billie is, was she going to watch. When you felt fingers under your chin. "She's just preparing Mami." Your eyes linger over the small bathroom door in the hotel room. "Something tells me you want her to watch. True?" She asks, going to kiss your jaw. When a shakey breath leaves your lips. "I- uhm-" Her eyes connect with your own.

"Imagine her, watching someone else fuck you. Senseless, might I add." Her kisses move lower and lower, having them on your neck. "Imagine her hearing how dirty you sound, because of me?" Your brain couldn't process this, feeling it fogging over already.

Can't take it back once it's been set in motion.

Your nerves and excitement both mix together. Wondering what you had agreed to. Miko's hands come in contact with your bra covered breasts. Kneading gently. "Can I take this off?" You nod at her question but she remembered what Billie had said to her. Her fingers press lightly against your jaw. "Do I get an answer, angel?" You swallow thickly. "Y-yes you can take it off Miko.." You breathe, her smirk grew at the way you whispered her name. Loving it maybe a bit too much. But she had to hear it again. After she removes your bra, discarding it somewhere. Her lips immediately attach to your nipple, sucking hard. Your mind goes blank at the insane feeling. But even if Billie consented to this, or if it was her idea. You couldn't help but feel bad. Or maybe that just made you feel great.

Maybe that aroused you more, the thought of her watching was something you did enjoyed thinking of. And as if on queue. Shes there in the room. Your eyes meet as her head tilts slightly, your heart races at this insane setting. Miko sucking on your tits, as your girlfriend just watches. You weren't being loud enough to Mikos liking. She then bites your nipple, sending a moan to tumble out of your mouth. Your eyes are still locked on Billie as the noise comes out, feeling your eyes go wide. But she smirks. And she does it broadly.

"Don't hide your noises baby. - we've talked about this." Billie then speaks, noticing the way you were biting your lip extra hard. "Go on, wanna hear how she's making you feel." You do as told, but God was this so incredibly filthy. Was it bad you enjoyed it very much? She continues to watch.

She couldn't look away.

Your head lulls back against the headboard as Miko travels down your body, leaving kisses. Her eyes then look into yours as she's reached the main event. Ofcourse asking for permission but silently. You go to nod, considering she hadn't spoken you'd be safe. But the look in her eyes makes you think differently. Your brain just goes to the quickest sentence you can think of. "Please take them off." Your winey voice made them both smirk. Although you weren't looking at Billie right now, when you did. You swear you could've just cum. Then and there. You hold her gaze for a bit.

Shed wanna get involved.

That eye contact remains, until Billie speaks. "Make her cum." Her eyes still boring into your own as she utters those words. You felt like you could go insane. "Heard that mama." You nod slowly. "Y-yes." Miko smirks at your reaction. "You look scared love. Don't worry I don't bite. ... unless you want that." She finishes, coming impossibly close to your cunt. It now being free from the previous fabric clinging to it. You swallow again, letting your mouth hang open as her tongue is on you. Your head falls limply at the insane feeling. Billie's smirk never leaved her face it was as if she was frozen. Getting to watch you like this from a different point of view. Your moans grew louder as she picks up the pace, causing your hands to grab her hair.

What would people say, if they listened through the wall.

There was no other sound but Miko's tongue lapping at you, your soft but powerful moans. Making not only Billie, but Miko also. Go mental. Your orgasm was quick to approach as Miko speeds up, if that was even possible. Sending your mind blank, feeling yourself cum on her tongue with a slight screech. You let out pants, trying to catch your breath again. "Overstimulate her." Billie then orders. Your eyes look over at her. Finally gaining the courage to actually say something. "Bils-" Her head tilts, once again. "Hmm?" Your mouth shuts almost immediately. "Nothing." "No no, go on babe. What is it? You don't want that?" But that'd be a lie, ofcourse you did.

"I just-" But that was cut short as Miko's back at it, having you shake at how sensitive you truly became. You let a shakey but satisfied sigh escape you, having your eyes flutter shut. "What was it you were saying angel?" Your back arches too distracted by your second orgasm to fully care about what Billie was mocking you for.

I can see it clear as day. You don't really need a break.

Billie craved to watch you writhe under Miko, the way you're almost cumming again. But Bills was having too much fun. "Deny her." Billie speaks lowly. And just like that you felt nothing. A cryish whine leaves your plump lips. "Nooo." Your eyes had been closed. "Wanna see what you can take." Billie mutters, enough for you to hear. Your lips then pout as you look at Billie. With such a defeated look in your eyes. Almost begging without words. But you knew you had to speak them you knew that's what she wanted, you to beg.

You take any extra courage floating around inside you and grab Miko's face. "Please, please don't stop. Need your tongue." Billie smirks as you say that, proudly. Miko dives back in satisfied, herself. With how you responded. But she felt like teasing you, testing your limits. Billie seemed to be proud of that also, knowing you'd start to get bratty if she kept it up. "Make her cum, one more time. Then I'll come on over." Billie states, making Miko nod in response.

You should really run away.

She kept circling your clit with her tongue, moving back and forth from there, to your entrance. Your head is rested back as she does so feeling worn out but so amazing at the same time. All you could then think of was what Billie would do. "Make her work for it, need her begging." You look over at her, giving an annoyed little look. But she returns it with a warning one, causing you to immediately look away from her. It was nearing once again, the coil was incredibly close to snapping when Miko squeezes your thigh tightly. Signaling for you to not do so yet. A slight whimper comes from you, trying to hold it. "Please let me cum please-"

Her whole tongue inserted into you suddenly, rapidly sticking it in and out at an ungodly pace. You were shocked at how good she was, nearly as good as your girlfriend. Your mouth agape as your coming close to your release. "Please, please- need to." She looks up at you with such a lustful look. Pulling away slightly to speak. "Cum now." And so you did. Hard. Feeling just as amazing the first two times if not. Better. You let out ragged breaths. Miko removes herself from you. Standing up fully, swiping her thumb over her lip to get the excess cum and put it inside her mouth. "Hm, tasty." She says. Billie comes over standing next to her. "Isnt she." She smirks at you.

You sit up on your elbows, just now catching your breath. Billie inches closer towards you, crawling ontop of your figure. Your eyes glued to hers as she looks to your lips. "I don't think you're ready for this." She spoke in a hushed whisper. Leaning in to kiss you. Ofcourse you kiss back, honestly missing any kind of touch from her. Your hands reach out to gently place them on her face. But it's as if they had already discussed this, because Miko is lifting you up slightly, sitting on the bed and placing you on her lap. Your eyes dart back to Billies. Gulping. "What? Nervous?" Your head shakes but her eyebrow raises in a questionable way. "N-no..not nervous." You speak up.

"Hmm, good." You hadn't even noticed she attached the fake dick to herself, until you felt it near your entrance. Looking back at Billie once again and taking a tiny breath in. Were you nervous? "So wet." She says as her fingers swipe along your sticky cunt, from the multiple orgasms. You bite your lip subconsciously, feeling the dildo peek into your hole. "Please Bills.." Miko's hand moves to your throat, causing Billie to get closer to your face. "What's my name baby? Say it correctly and I'll give you what you want." You take a second, letting out a few staggered breaths. "Please fuck me mommy."

And thats exactly what she was about to do, sliding it in almost all the way, making you arch your back. Slowly bringing it down again as she begins to fuck into you. God this was so insane but amazing all at once. More moans fill the hotel room, you didn't care who listened to be honest you were too caught up on the feeling of Miko's hand still around your throat and Billie's hard thrusts to worry about what others may think. Billie begins to pick up the pace, Miko's other hand coming to cup one of your breasts sending pleasure throughout the whole of your body. Head to toe shivers consume you as her hand tightens just slightly.

Billie watches in amusement as your face contorts into pure ecstasy. Eyes rolling back as she enters you even deeper. You truly were on cloud 9. It just felt too good.

I wanna do bad things to you.

Her hand rests on your waist as she continues to fuck you, feeling you suck her in as if it were her own dick. Making Billie go more feral for you. Her other hand makes its way to your clit, rubbing slowly. Whimpers filling her ears as she does, feeling like she could cum from that alone. She craved to hear such sounds coming from your pretty lips. Drove her mental. Billie didn't feel like being as nice though, wanting to make you go mental. And it sure did. "You cum when I say to got it, pretty girl?" You let out a slight whine, not before shes grabbing your face with her fingers. Smushing your cheeks slightly. "Got. It?" "Yes.. - mommy." Her once Satisfied look returns, bigger than previously.

"Good girl, that's exactly what we like to hear. Isn't that right Miko?" She then replies. "Without a doubt Bill." Your breathing becomes irregular again, trying to gain that focus. "I- I'm so close." Billie just shakes her head. "Don't even think about it." You then feel Miko's soft fingers dance over your skin, moving their way down to your pussy to mess with your clit. "Bi-" You let out the filthiest moan ever, trying so hard to hold it. "C-cant.. please." You speak on the verge of tears. Bingo. Just what Billie was after. The little pout on your lips almost makes her give in. But she keeps drilling into you, so much harder making your head spin. "I-" "hold it."

"B-b..u." A near pornographic moan then ripped out of you, feeling your body shake. "Be a good girl baby. Know you can." - "hold it mama." Miko then whispers in your ear. Another whimper comes from your mouth trying so so hard to keep it in.

I wanna do bad things to you.

Billie goes close to your ear, close to Miko. They then kiss one another making you stare, as your girlfriend comes back into view. There was no denying how hot it was. Billie catches your eyes. She chuckles softly. "You enjoyed that didn't you bub?" You couldn't even speak. She lets that one slide, knowing how much you were struggling. "Precious girl can't even reply to you." Billie shakes her head at Miko. "Shes too busy crying over my dick huh baby?" Your head just rests back on Miko's shoulder. Almost screaming at the insane euphoria you felt. Miko's other hand quickly covers your mouth, tightening her grip on your throat. "Shhh baby not too loud."

I wanna make you yell.

Wanna do bad things to you.

Your eyes roll back again, letting out a groany whimper.

Don't wanna treat you well.

It was getting nearly impossible. Until Billie says the three words. "You can cum." And you gladly do, gushing all over the plastic dick inside you. Squirting a little over Billie. Your brain felt empty, having your eyes closed to try regain stability.

If you find it hard to swallow.

"Just one more angel, know you can." Your eyes snap to Billies. "S-so sore." Miko wipes the lingering tears on your face. But as she starts to move slowly, the need for more is inching its way back. Grabbing onto her hips. "Fuck!" You then scream, making Miko's hand return on your mouth. She eventually got an idea. "Open." She says to you. You do as told going to let her slender fingers enter your mouth. You suck needily, feeling Billie speed up yet again. Her thrusts go at an ungodly pace eventually sending your body to writhe and shake underneath her. Those tears coming back, you cry out of pleasure. Sucking harder on Miko's digits.

I kinda wanna look away.

Her grip on your neck loosens, keeping her fingers there for you to greedily suck on. She honestly enjoyed the feeling of it. Bringing that hand down from your neck to your nipple giving it a pinch. You moan around her fingers, feeling your fourth or fifth. You honestly lost count. Orgasm of that night.

Kinda wanna get involved.

Billies hands grip your waist, completely railing the fuck out of you. The sight infront of her making her moan, herself. Low, lustful. Filthy. Your eyes continue to gloss over feeling it coming closer and closer. But you listened to what she had said earlier, only when she says to.

Other people don't obey.

Her thrust continued, her stamina was impeccable. But you knew that already. Your hands reach out to touch her, grabbing at her tits. She smirks at you, knowing their your favorite. "Can feel how close you are. Tugging me in." You accidentally bite down slightly on Miko's fingers. Little did you know she didn't mind that, one. Bit. Your teeth retract from doing so, continuing the sucking motion.

You should really run away.

The coil was close to snapping, it got harder for Billie to even thrust at how tight you had became. She needed it, you needed it. Miko needed it. "Cum." She breathes.

Bad. Things.

You did with yet another scream, of who's name? Well ofcourse both. They both, made you cum. They both, made you scream. And there was no doubt this wouldn't be the last time this would happen.

It was your little secret.

[andy-wm]

"Who wouldn't want it when he looks like that?"

Yes, Olly Alexander knew exactly how JK felt

I've been absent, I know. Life. But look, one chirp ;) from the lovebirds and I'm back hehehe

With no preamble I'm going to sweep straight past the cute and charming interactions between Jimin & JK on Weverse - always together - and only glance at JK's song recommendations because right now I'm more interested in what came before.

This post by the fabulous @slaaverin, about JK and the song he posted 10 years ago - Memo by Years & Years - hit me so hard in the feels, I had to sit down. Even though I've mostly paid attention to their song recommendations (yes, I know I can do better) this one passed me by completely.

How could I not know that JK posted a song by Years & Years??!

And especially in 2015, when he was really going through it. He had feelings bigger than a house and nowhere to put them.

This for me is a key moment. Watch Gayo 4 and tell me JK wasn't dying of love.

He was - and still is - a boy with big feelings that he doesn't always have words for. His face and body language have told us that he's filled up to the brim but he seems to keep it inside unless he's made up his mind to say something.

Which of course makes the song recommendations in 2015 so significant. We know it wasn't only about the songs - it never is - it's all about how he's feeling at he time. And he picks out the lines so carefully, so precisely, so that they can speak for him.

And if you read the lyrics of all those songs from 2015 and focus on the lines he picked out, there's a clear message.

I'm pretty sure he wasn't looking at Eels cover of Elvis's Can't Help Falling In Love for musical inspiration. And picking out I'll give you my everything - a cheesy love song from the '70s - so he could say I have something to tell you? Neatly in between the 2015 Osaka fan-meet and the notorious RBT concert in Hong Kong?

Smooth...

Very smooth, JK

He was in love. He was in lust. He was probably confused and afraid of the consequences, but he couldn't let it go. I know this has been thoroughly dissected so I won't go down that path.

What I am stuck on here, is Years & Years.

Where some of the lines he posted could be the result of searching for songs with particular words in the lyrics, like I have something to tell you, Memo doesn't hit the same way.

I want more (x4) isn't romantic or emotive like some song lines he chose and also it doesn't convey a specific message like others. Without hearing the rest of the song it feels a little brash but in the context of the rest of the lyrics, and with the gentle melody, it's honestly very soft.

He must have listened to a lot of Years & Years because Memo is a beautiful song but it isn't one of their hits. It vanished into obscurity pretty quickly.

Memo wasn't just an LGBT+ song. Years and Years was a very brazenly LGBT+ group.

Olly is a huge icon.

Gay, out, and unapologetic, Olly was singing pop songs about genuine personal feelings and experiences. The songs explored all the nuanced feelings of lust, yearning, hurt, and uncertainty that come with falling in love. They have authenticity. They're the same type of songs Troye was singing in 2016 but a little more... adult. A little further along the track towards resolution. Olly was living the life of a young gay man and his songs reflect that. The content is pretty direct.

Years & Years weren't huge like The Pet Shop Boys, Depeche Mode, or The Communards, but they were successful and popular especially amongst the lgbt+ community. They did get radio play in the UK too. Outside of that I think the group was relatively niche.

And yet, JK found them.

That he found them, says to me the he was searching for something. Searching for ways to make sense of his feelings in an environment that would be stifling for a young queer boy who was in love with his best friend.

The songs might not have been #1 on Billboard, but what they WERE was authentic and unambiguous.

Maybe I'm making too much of it but it makes me wonder where he would have been without a group like Years and Years.

If he hadn't heard those words in those songs, and felt the connection with the feelings expressed, would he have had certainty that what he felt was honest and real?

If he hadn't listened to someone else articulate emotions he could relate to, would he have had the words to describe his feelings when he finally confessed?

If Years & Years, and particularly Olly Alexander, hadn't been as successful as they were in 2015, would he have had the determination to face up to the company?

Who knows... maybe none of it really mattered and it was just a line from a song that he liked. But knowing - as ARMY - how much music can change your perception and your life, I don't think that's true. I think it meant something.

I'm so glad he found them.

💗💜💗

In case you've never seen him in action, here's Olly with the other members of Y&Y in concert at YES24 Hall in October 2022. He's wearing a yellow body stocking and thigh boots. Absolutely stunning performers.

[mclacedes]

A Fading Echo (LH44)

CHAPTER I: Taste Karma.

hello beautiful babes! here's a little something i've been wanting to write for a while now and just flew out of me randomly!! hope you enjoy this and hope this makes any sense at all :)

warnings: breakup, abu dhabi ‘24, lewis leaving mercedes, lewis in ferrari, lack of XNDA songs, partner moving on.

“it isn't only how he died, but that he died believing. and so i try to be kind to everything i see. and in everything i see, i see him.”

— Hanya Yanagihara, “A Little Life”

this is slightly inspired by Hanya Yanagihara's book "A Little Life", but THIS IS NOT A RECOMMENDATION from me and THIS DOES NOT mean I like that book at all !!!

also, there's a part II for it, so lmk if you like it :)

End of season. Last race. Last race with Mercedes.

This was the end of an era, but the start of an age. A new chapter in this long book, filled with broken records and (un)fulfilled dreams.

There was only last thing he wanted though. A thing he’d never done.

To release an album.

+44, his first album, would come out in a few hours and nobody even knew it.

Lewis had poured countless hours into it, refining each lyric, melody, and harmony until every note fitted just right.

Every detail was thoroughly planned, every step thoughtfully envisioned. The photoshoot was booked, the interview responses rehearsed, the songs were ready. But one day, he realized the only thing that should be put together — his very self — was melting, breaking apart into millions of pieces of longing, sorrow, wrath and regret.

This should be a moment of fun, a moment of celebration, but the only thing he’d think about is how this album only exists because, at one point, he had you — the best thing that ever happened to him, his confidant, his partner in crime.

But, as of now, there's no you in his life and, apparently, no space for him in yours.

Now you’re a fading echo, a ghost haunting every inch of his life, lurking in the back of his mind so he can get a glimpse of your broken-hearted gaze in your salted-water-drowned eyes when he closes his.

Your laugh still echoes through the paddocks around the world; he still knows every word of the prayer you’d mutter every time he climbed into the cockpit. You are in his houses, cars, clothes, and everything he is now—a wreckage.

There's a simple routine he follows, absentmindedly, now that you're gone: he smiles when he sees you in a small detail of his life; then his heart tightens painfully, suffocating him. When the stars fall at night, he lies awake in the darkness of his room and his own mind, clutching the pillow you once slept on, desperately trying to grasp some semblance of solace and familiarity. Lewis lingers there, until your vanilla scent fades away completely as he drifts into the restless awareness of his subconscious—his dreams, in which you've never left and still loved him. In his perfect, tailor-made utopia, you can bring yourself to look into his eyes and say you forgive him.

But reality has other plans. Like always.

He just wanted to get through today.

Yes, the Universe is vast and gracious, munificent and indulgent, and Lewis knows this. But, today, his last race with Mercedes in a track that holds so much memory, the Universe had made its mind: the winds of fate would play a trick on him.

This morning, after waking from a dream of you in your favorite park in France, laughing about babies and tracing shapes in the clouds, he never imagined he’d want to leave the paddock as soon as he entered it.

On the drive to Yas Marina, it hadn’t crossed his mind that he might see you, hand in hand with that one actor—Jensen Ackles—who you used to gush over.

As he signed caps, mini helmets, and photos for his fans, not for a single moment did he expect to catch sight of you in the paddock, wearing rosso corsa, cheering on Ferrari—Ferrari, of all teams. The same red team you used to roll your eyes at. The same red team that the man beside you had so often boasted about supporting. The same team that he had signed a contract with.

None of it had been his choice, and yet his entire body betrayed him the moment his eyes landed on you; as though someone had fastened his feet to the ground, he was unable to walk. He not only couldn’t move, but he felt like air didn't get to his lungs so he couldn't breathe, and there was nothing more interesting than the scene in from of him so he couldn’t look away.

For a second there, he wished you were ugly. He wished your eyes didn’t glisten when you honestly found something funny, that your dress didn't perfectly frame your body, and your teeth were broken. He wished there were flaws he could cling to, reasons to justify hating you; he wished he could have the strength within himself to fall out of love. But you were too unattainable for him to let go.

And, God, you were glowing. Your smile beamed, your hair fell perfectly just the way he likes it, and then—what. is. that?

Your hand laid slightly over your belly.

Your left hand rested on your belly, right where your womb would be.

Your left hand, with its delicate fingers, bore a ring—a massive diamond that caught the sunlight in a cruel, mocking glint.

And then there was him. Jensen Ackles, the so-called antichrist, standing behind you with his arms wrapped around you like you belonged to him. His hold was possessive, unyielding, as though he’d fight tooth and nail to keep you. But he did seem like he was happy. And the worst part about it is that you seemed too.

Lewis’s heart rate spiked, pounding in his chest, his thoughts racing faster than the W15 ever could.

“Is she pregnant? They're engaged? Are they married already? When is the baby due?”

And then, just before he turned away, one final thought slipped through the chaos in his mind: taste karma.

[gguk-n]

Tracks & Beats (Max Verstappen x Rapper!Reader)

Face claim- Lee Sung Kyung. Reader is best friend's with Suga of BTS. Google translated Korean. All the pictures are from Pinterest.

Max winning after 4 months!!

y/ngotswings is Max's fan account

2016

y/n.y/l/n

Liked by 3,890 others Tagged bts.bighitoffiicial

y/n.y/l/n 최고의 프로듀서이자 래퍼 중 한 명과 함께 일할 기회가 있었다 Had the chance to work with one of the best producers and rapper

user15 언니 그 노래는 정말 좋았어 😭😭unnie the song was so good user16 collab of the century!!😍😍 user17 사랑해 ❤️❤️i love you y/ngotswings Best song yet!!😭❤️

2019

y/n.y/l/n

Liked by 7,264 others Tagged bts.bighitofficial

y/n.y/l/n 나와 함께 노래를 작업해준 윤기 오빠 고마워 Thank you Yoongi oppa for working on this song with me!!

user18 OMG!!! The way his voices meshes with hers😍😍 user19 Their collab's keep getting better and better😭😭 user20 언니 잘했어 👍👍unnie, good job!! user21 넌 정말 예쁘다 누나 😍you're so pretty, noona y/ngotswings I cried😭😭

2023

y/n.y/l/n

Liked by 10,500 others

y/n.y/l/n comeback season!!!

user22 this comeback was sooooo goooddd!! user23 i loved the album user24 i can't wait to watch you live user25 화이팅 👍👍Fighting!! user26 당신의 미소가 정말 좋아요 ❤️❤️I love your smile user27 나는 너에게 키스하고 싶어 😘😘I want to kiss you y/ngotswings Best album ever!! Can't wait for more!!❤️❤️

2024

Max is twitter user- Redbull gives y/n wings

{Max's POV}

I'm not someone who engages in arguments on twitter but when people kept shipping Y/N with that guy, I don't know why but it was pissing me off!!

So, I might've done something a few months ago in the heat of the moment which was embarrassing when I thought about it too much but now I feel like not so much. I mean, I'm kind of famous, maybe I can use that to my advantage. So, I did something. I asked RedBull to invite her to the Japanese Grand Prix. It's close enough and honestly, I wasn't sure she would agree but she did, so I guess a win is a win.

{Max's POV}

I've met so many celebrities before but non of them have left me feeling this giddy and excited but I've never been a fan of half the celebrities that would come to the races.

Y/N was different, she was so sweet and asked questions which made it seem like she was interested in the sport so I couldn't help but answer those. I mean, we were the hosts.

"Hi, I'm Y/N" she introduced herself. I know I thought. "I'm Max" I replied. "I hear that you're the best right now" she smiled. I felt a blush creep in. "Ah...It's nothing. I just do my best" I mumbled. "No need to be humble if you're talented" she said smiling. I felt my heart race.

She was here for the weekend which meant I got to spend a lot of time with her. She was so much more fun and exciting to be around compared to what I saw on the internet. She was funny and had the cutest little laugh.

As I spent more time with her, I fell in love as if I wasn't already. I mean, I did orchestrate our meeting. "Dude, you have to ask her out" Lando whispered. "What?" I said looking at him. "You've had a crush on her for years now. I remember you rapping her songs even though they aren't in a language you speak since I joined" Lando pointed out. "But wouldn't it be weird" I asked. "What is weird is you inviting her and then staring at her from a far with heart eyes" Lando laughed. "Hey" I grimaced. "Sorry Max, but we all think it's cute. This little crush of yours" Charles interrupted. "Not you too" I whined. "Actually, all of us have a betting pool going" Pierre said. "He wasn't supposed to know" Daniel laughed, shaking his head. "You guys bet on me" I almost screamed. "In our defence, we've never seen you like a love sick puppy. Let us have this" Daniel defended. I shook my head and walked away.

"You look annoyed, everything okay?" Y/N asked. "Yeah" I smiled. "Must be fun, travelling with all these people and getting to do what you love" she asked. "It is. I even get to meet celebrities like this" I said. "I feel like you're more famous than I am. Maybe I should be the one star struck" she laughed. "You know, if you're free" I said twiddling my thumbs. It was now or never, what's the worst that could happen, she would say no and then I would spend the rest of eternity pining for her. "maybe we could go on a date?" I said scratching the back of my head. "I am" she replied. "After I win the race, maybe we could go celebrate?" I suggested. "I would love to celebrate with you" she smiled. Maybe if I died now, I would die happy.

y/n.y/l/n

Liked by 45,890 others Tagged maxverstappen1, schecoperez, redbullracing

y/n.y/l/n Thank you for having me!! Lot of fun watching Max win!!

redbullracing we loved having you!! maxverstappen1 you are always invited back!! Liked by Author y/ngotswings I think I can die happy now user28 OMG!!😱😱😱 user29 ❤️❤️😍😍 user30 Okay...to that one twitter user👀 user31 the second picture is so cute😫😘 user32 예쁜 😍😍pretty user33 사랑해 ❤️❤️love you

Max and Y/N started dating a few weeks after that meeting at the grand prix. Due to their hectic schedules, they weren't able to spend as much time together. Hence, during the summer break, Max was in South Korea, trying to make the most of their time together.

Max was lounging in Y/N's room, when she plopped down next to him. "You know my friend" she began. "Yoongi, the one you're close to" Max finished. "Yeah, he'll be off tomorrow from his duty and he wanted to meet you" she muttered. "Oh" was all that left Max's lips. "I haven't dated anyone in a while because of many reasons" she said looking down, "and oppa, just wants to make sure....you know how older brothers are" she said. "I get it." Max nodded along. "Where are we meeting?" Max asked. "At home, he can't really be out in public without being swarmed" Y/N laughed. "I saw with how many of his pictures are plastered all over the place" Max laughed.

The next day, the table was set. The two of them waited for Yoongi to show up while cuddling on the couch. "Do you think he'll like me?" Max asked, breaking the silence. "He'll love you" Y/N replied while kissing Max's lips. Then the door bell rang, "Must be him" Y/N announced and went to see. She came back with Yoongi in tow. "Hello" Yoongi greeted with his hand out. "Hi" Max replied, shaking his hand. He towered over Yoongi a bit. "How old is he again?" Yoongi asked Y/N in Korean. "The same age as Jungkook, the same month too. Jungkook's in the beginning of the month and he's in the end" she replied. Max was confused as to what they were talking about. "Korea is big on age hierarchy, so I was telling him when you're birthday is" Y/N explained looking at Max's confused face which morphed into one of understanding soon.

They proceeded to dinner, while making small talk. Y/N was happy watching Yoongi getting along with Max, a dream for her honestly. After dinner, while Y/N cleaned up; the two men sat together watching her move fluidly. "I said I could help" Yoongi called out who was now watching her. "You know I'm a control freak. You two should get to know each other" she called out. Yoongi slowly sat down, Max joining soon after.

"You both have busy schedules" Yoongi began, "That's why I try to make as much time as I can. We have a schedule in place, since I'm travelling so much. It's working out" Max quickly replied. "Even then, can you keep her happy?" Yoongi asked. "I'll try my best. I can't imagine her sad or crying and worst because of me" Max shuddered. "Good" Yoongi nodded. "Listen Max, nothing against you but she's like a sister and I don't want anyone to hurt her" Yoongi reiterated. "I promise I won't ever hurt her and if I ever do, which I won't, you know where to find me. Finish me" Max stated. Yoongi smiled patting his back. "I like this one" Yoongi called out to Y/N. Y/N popped her head up, "He said he approves" she called out to Max. "I never said that" Yoongi chided. "Same same" she laughed.

Yoongi soon got ready to leave, "I had a good time. Thank you for the food" he said hugging her. "Thank you for coming. Drive safe" Y/N called out as he was leaving. "Take care of her" Yoongi told Max as he closed the door. Max looked at Y/N; "Great first impression" Y/N stated with her hands around his neck. "I think so too" Max replied kissing her. "I love you" Max stated looking into her eyes. Y/N's eyes widened before she smiled, "I love you too" she said kissing him

[sword-bunny]

Unpopular opinion: I don't think Luka is actually that bad

(Casual reminder first that all of the unwilling participants of this death match are slaves who were essentially raised from childhood to compete in Alien Stage. None of them are competing by choice, and this is Luka's second time being forced through this nightmare, and he will probably be made to do it a third time.)

"But he's enjoying this!"

Is he, though?

I don't feel like this moment gets talked about enough. Obviously we don't get to see the actual match so we can't say anything about it, but Luka kissing the dead girl's hand afterwards was important enough that some of the very limited time this series has was used to show it.

Here, he's not smiling, he's not making a show out of it. The show is already over. His back is to the audience, and he isn't even on stage. He lived, she died, and to me this read as a gesture of respect.

"What about him purposefully invoking the images of Sua and Ivan to make Mizi and Till lose their shit?"

Yeah, he definitely did do that, and I'll get back to that. But take a look at his face during his duet with Mizi:

It's shockingly different from the smug, smiling face he has for the rest of the song. From the background behind him, we can tell that Mizi is blocking the view of his face from the audience.

In comparison, the bit where he rolls his eyes, he isn't even looking at her. He's looking at the audience, making a show of his lofty condescension.

Look at the way he's portrayed in the "promotional footage" we see in Top 3. He's the "Ruler of the Stage", the elegant personification of victory. In other words, it's a stage persona.

We got this new expression in Blink Gone, and I did think he was laughing at first! But why would he be hiding that? He certainly never has before. There would be no point, he'd be playing it up, even. But the more I look at it, the more I think he's covering up something else.

Luka has outlived a lot of his opponents, some of whom very likely were people he grew up with, and I think he's starting to crack.

This leads us back to the tactics he uses to win.

Luka is undeniably ruthless! You could definitely make an argument that he goes beyond what's necessary to win.

But remember, he's trying to survive. I don't think he can reasonably be called a sadist for trying his best not to die, even if his methods are underhanded. Is he a good person? I wouldn't even try to argue that. Is he a bad person? I genuinely don't think so.

The situation he's been forced into is unimaginably cruel, and I genuinely believe it doesn't make someone a bad person to try to survive, even if it means someone else doesn't.

Imagine a modified version of the trolley problem: you and a person you do not know are each tied to separate tracks. You get to choose whether the train kills you or the other person. In this situation where you are not there because you want to be or because you're experiencing any kind of consequences for your actions, is it morally acceptable to choose not to die?

Anyways, that's my rant about why it's been getting on my nerves to see Luka constantly getting called a sadistic psychopath. Feel free to make counterarguments, just please try to be chill about it if you do✌️

Edit: I totally forgot about the Alien Stage promo video, which pretty clearly shows that Luka is having a Less Than Stellar time (pun intended)

This is the first shot we ever get to see of Luka, and I've left the lyrics on because I think they're pretty important since Luka is the contestant that's been in this situation the longest. He won and it's still not over. I'm not surprised he feels like it won't ever end!

Then there's this shot. Hooooooo boy this shot makes me feel a lot of things. It's so clear that Luka is even less than a pet, barely more than a toy to his "fans".

Finally, there's this bit where he hides his face behind his arms like he can't bear to be looked at any longer.

Your honor I'm so normal about him I swear

[cheriladycl01]

I loved Lando x Actress reader. Can I have Lando x singer reader? Thank uuuuu 🫶🏻

Sing your heart out because he ripped your heart out! Lando Norris x Singer! Reader

Plot: You are a famous singer who was in a pretty toxic relationship and have been single and 'off the grid' for 2 years since your breakup. You come back online dropping a new album that gets people stirred from the tea but the tease at your new relationship.

"Today here on Off Camera with me Sam Jones we have Y/N Y/L/N here to talk about everything, from her new albums and songs, to her hiatus, to her sightings, to her relationships" he smiles looking over at you.

"Thank you for having me, it feels great being back and you know talking and meeting new people and I've always wanted to be on a podcast like this so I'm very excited!" you smile and get comfier into the nice seats you guys are in.

"So i think we've got to ask how are you feeling after your time away from the media?"

"So refreshed it was really healing to take myself away from everything. I think a lot of things were being said about me when I first deactivated everything. A lot of them being outright lies, and you know I didn't want to be aware of what people were saying... naturally" you starts and he nods for you to continue.

"But everyday I'd have my friends coming to me saying... have you seen what Taylor Swift has tweeted about you, have you seen what Beyonce and RiRi said. And I'd be like no and I don't even want to know. But when she showed me the love I was getting from all of these amazing people I've worked and collabed with over the years, movie stars who I've walked red carpets with and been in cameos of their movies, models who I've walked runways with all sticking up for me saying how they couldn't imagine anything said about my relationship to be true" you explain and he nods again.

"Yeah, it was actually really moving seeing all these people coming together for you in support! I think even after what certain people said about you the large majority had your back..." he admits to you.

"Yeah, I mean i have some great friends in the industry that you know would message me and always check up on me, so its nice to know that I have people in my corner, after everything that happened!"

"Yeah of course, and I think your new album really shows your raw emotions and I think a lot of people have easily related. So lets go through the album, we have Vicious, which talks about obviously Y/E/B and the emotional scars he's left on you. One of my personal faves is 'bet u wanna' where you talk about being mistreated in relationship and calling it off only for them to want you back. Nonsense which obviously has made your fans go stir crazy- wondering whose got you feeling this way. Bad for Business which obviously has a similar tune to Nonsense in whoever you are talking about, and may i just say people will listen to the happy songs because they are incredible! But talk us through the creative process and how your time away released all of these on the album and more!"

"I think, when you go through something like i did. Where you don't necessarily see and end you have these raw emotions that just tend to write themselves on the paper. I had many nights where I'd be sat in the studio hair pulled back, a massive slice of Pizza on my left and a bottle of water on the other and it would honestly just write itself. There were some nights where I'd just cry and sit there. I think things really sped up when I met my current partner" you blush, thinking how much that silly vroom vroom man had helped you.

"Who is he, and how did he help, how did you both meet if you can tell us!" he asks leaning back a little.

"Well, I'm currently dating F1 driver Lando Norris which when this podcast airs and sure will be a shock to everyone. We met when I was in a really weird patch. I think it had been about 8 months I want to say of being single and dealing through my grief and not really knowing what to do with myself. My ex of 5 years was now dating and having a child with the girl he cheated on me with, and honestly I was a mess. My dad decided to take me to a race, it was the one in Austin, we had paddock passes and that's where I met him" you grin thinking back to the day.

*Flashback*

You were at the Circuit of the Americas for race weekend, you were tucked behind your dad who had found some mechanics he was animatedly talking too. Your dad always had a real love for cars, and when you'd made it as a musician you brought him and your mother a larger house with a big garage for a car collection you'd help him grow.

"Damn you've got loads man. How's your girl affording all of this?" the mechanic asks not having seen you as you were wearing both sunglasses and a Ferrari cap.

"I have a ... lucrative job" you croak out a little, if you were being honest with yourself this was probably the first interaction you'd had with a stranger in months, even just any human at that as your contact had been very limited over the past 8 months even to friends and family.

"Ahhh, so what's your fav car in the collection Mr Y/L/N?" the mechanic asks, and some nods from his pals also tells you guys that their interested.

"Oo that's hard it's got to be a toss up between my Mclaren 650S, the Ferrari F8 Spider, or my Rolls Royce Ghost" your father admits trying to think to his collection.

"Not the Porsche?" knowing you'd got that for him for his 50th.

"Mmmmm I forgot about the Porsche" he admits with a chuckle. The mechanics just all looked very shocked at the sheer amount of cars your dad has in his collection.

"Give me a second, I want to see if I can get you guys a garage pass upgrade. I bet you'll want to check out the car's yeah?" he asks making your dad nod very quickly.

You pull your glasses off to give them a wipe as the heat was making them fog up a little and the mechanic gasps, you cock your head realizing he's recognized you.

He scurries of, running back to the Aston Martin garage, he tells all of his friends but says to keep it quiet as he could tell you'd been going through it. Aston Martin didn't have any passes left, so he went to the other garages begging to give you a pass.

"Who did you say was here?" Lando had asked from beside his team mate Daniel Ricciardo.

"Y/N Y/L/N but don't make it public knowledge she's clearly just here to watch the race with her car enthusiast dad. Who did you know owns over 10 super cars that Y/N has brought for him, he was telling me all about his Ferrari" the mechanic starts to ramble before Lando gets him to stop.

"Take me to her, and I'll give her the pass" Lando had offered, wanting to meet you, it wasn't uncommon knowledge that he liked both you and Taylor Swift and had even DJed some of your 'nightcore' remixes.

"Okay! Okay come with me" the young mechanic said, darting of making Lando run after him asking him to slow down a little.

"Hello, this is a Mclaren Driver he's ..." the mechanic starts before you offer him a small small.

"I know who he is Dean, thank you for introducing us" you smile, and he grins at you. You and your father get handed the passes and your walking back to Mclaren at Lando's side.

He was attractive and most certainly your type. He had that goofiness about him that had you laughing for what felt like the first time in 3 years. Yet a seriousness and passion for his sport when talking to you and your dad about the car he was more than happy to show off to you.

"So you'll only be cheering for me right?" Lando flirts as your dad introduced himself to Daniel Ricciardo and Zac Brown.

"I think that depends Mr Norris, are you going to give me a cheer worthy race?" you question looking up him. His face lights up and a big grin comes onto his face.

"Always, you'll see the Papaya on a podium today I'm sure of it!" he offers and you smirk.

"You get that podium and I'll take you out afterwards"

"On like a date?" he asks a little cautious with his tone.

"Yes a date" you nod and his face lights up.

"Yeah alright, your on" he smirks, he turns away to get ready for his race, but turns back placing a cheeky kiss on your cheek making it your turn to blush.

True to his word, Lando came second on Sunday. You took him out on your guy's first date and the rest is history.

*Back to the podcast*

"Wow, that really is such a beautiful story. And from how you talk about him we can tell that you are really happy" he smiles genuinely.

"I don't think I've ever felt so secure with a person. I think it's safe to say I've found my person. I went through a lot with Y/E/B and Lando has helped me overcome a lot of the trauma from that relationship, and I cannot thank him enough for how patient, caring and loving he has been for the past year" you smile, before turning your gaze to the side to look at a teary Lando who had come to the podcast with you, you were scared and didn't want to go alone.

"Well I think it's safe to say we are all so happy you are back, thriving making music and doing what you do best!" he smiles.

After that your asked a few more questions which you happily talk through and answer, before it's wrapped up and time to leave.

"How was that baby?" he asks knowing this was your first media thing to help ease you back into that 'lime-light' life.

"It felt good to just vent, and talk about everything" you smiled at him. It was truly healing for your soul.

"I love you so much, and I'm so proud of you for today!" he grins at you, pulling you in for a kiss. He holds you close, while another hand travels up to caress the side of your face.

"I love you most, which is why I need you to help me announce the 2023 tour... and my new album!" you grin, and he grins back.

"What are they called?" he mumbles into your neck that he'd found retirement in.

"The Grid!" you grin, Lando didn't know but you planned your next tour for 2023 around the 2023 races.

"Hmmm and what does that entail" he smirks.

"Well, I'll get to come to every race weekend with you this year, my tour is roughly going to follow the races. I'll venture out as well when you have breaks and stuff but I don't want to be away from you for too long, and I want to get back on the scene. I'm ready!" you admit and he smiles at you softly before lifting you up into a huge bear hug.

"Did i mention how much I love you?" he asks.

"Every day Lan, every day" you smile at him, pulling him in for another bruising kiss.

It was safe to say, that even though you'd been treated like shit in the past, Lando Norris was the love of your life. Your soulmate that held the other end of the invisible string that had kept tugging you both closer together.

Taglist:

@littlesatanicassholebitch @hockey-racing-fubol @laura-naruto-fan1998 @22yuki @simxican @sinofwriting @lewisroscoelove @cmleitora @stupidandunnecessary @clayra-g @daemyratwst @honey-belden @moonypixel @lauralarsen @vader-is-hot @ironcowboycopnickel @itsjustkhaos @the-untamed-soul @beebo86 @happylittlereader @ziejustme @lou-larcher5 @thewulf @purplephantomwolf @chasing-liberosis @chillyleclerc @chanthereader @annoyingmoonballoon @summissss @evieepepi08 @havaneseoger08 @celesteblack08 @gulphulp @fandom1ruined2me @celebstories @starfusionsworld @jspitwall @sierruhh @georgeparisole @dakotatankbig @youcannotcancelquidditch @zzonsbeek @tallbrownhairsarcastic @mellowarcadefun @ourteenagetragedy @otako5811 @countingstacksandpanicattacks @peachiicherries @formulas-bitch @cherry-piee @hopexcroc @mirrorball-6 @spilled-coffee-cup @mehrmonga @bigsimperika @blueberry64857959 @eiraethh @lilypadlover @curseofhecate @alliwantisadonut @the-fem1n1ne-urge @21stcenturytaegi @dark-night-sky-99 @spideybv28 @i-wish-this-was-me @tallrock35 @butterfly-lover @barnestatic @landossainz @darleneslane @barcelonaloverf1life @r0nnsblog @ilove-tswizzle @kapsylia @laneyspaulding19 @lazybot @malynn @cassielikereading @viennakarma @teamnovalak @landosgirlxoxo @marie0v @jlb20416 @yourbane

[runningincircl3s]

Blood Sport

Noah Sebastian x Reader

Chapter Seven

masterlist

chapter warnings: none?? (but shit goes down lmao)(also i know tdopom and the ost were already released in this story, as andy mentions it in nothing ever after, but for the sake of the story let's pretend the songs mentioned in this chapter weren't on it!)

okayyy i know i say it on almost every chapter but i had so much fun writing this :) i've said before how i try not to take writing too seriously, but i still do put a lot of time and effort into my stories and i hope you like them as much as i do :) anyways happy friday!!

✦•······················•✦•······················•

It had been quite a few days, you weren't even sure which day of the week it was anymore, and you were still processing what you had read. The lyrics Noah had written.

You would sit in bed at night and read over them, like you were trying to find a hidden message in it. But the message wasn’t hidden, it was right there in your face. 

“You never loved the thought of us, you’re too good to be true”

“You don’t want me the way I want you”

“Fooled me and you did it well, thought you were somebody else”

Folio had noticed you weren’t your usual self, that something had been bothering you for the past few days, but he gave you your space. He assumed you’d come to him when you were ready, but you never did, and he was starting to worry.

So, now, on the morning of Nicole’s party- which he assumed you’ve forgotten all about- he cornered you in the kitchen. You were getting a drink when he came up behind you, crossing his arms as he gave you a look. 

“You gonna tell me what’s up?” He asked. 

You sighed, setting your mug back down on the counter. You paused for a moment, debating whether to tell a lie, but that wouldn’t get you anywhere, you knew he’d catch you out. 

“I found something in the hoodie Noah gave me.” 

“Oh… Like a condom-”

“No!” You laughed, before taking a deep breath, “I think it's song lyrics, I… I think it might be about me…”

“What did it say?” He asked, his arms dropping back down to his side. 

You reached into the pocket of your shorts, because of course you kept it on you at all times, and handed it over to him. 

He unfolded the paper, his tongue dancing around his lips as he read, and he gave you a look before handing it back to you. 

He sighed, and with a soft shake of his head, said,

“Do you remember the night of your birthday? When he left and nobody could get hold of him?”

"As if I'd ever forget."

“Well, turns out he got on the first flight back home. That’s why none of us could call him, or text him. He spent the entire flight writing that song, when we all came back home and found him in the studio, he was quiet, but he said he’d been writing a lot of lyrics… And, let's just say that wasn’t the only song he wrote for you.” 

“There’s more?”

Folio nodded. 

“If you really meant nothing to him, do you think he would’ve put so much time and effort into a song about you? This one,” he motioned to the paper in your hand, “He called Somebody else, once things cooled down a bit he wrote Take Me First and… Well I can’t remember the other ones.” 

“What?”

Folio pulled his phone out, finding a picture Matt had sent him of a similar sheet of paper with lyrics scribbled onto them.

I lie to myself like it’s not too late

Convinced the past can still be changed

We know it’s gone, but I can’t move on

I wanna rewind, but it just replays

Jumping on a hand grenade

But it won't go off, no it won't go off

But it's too late to turn back now...

You felt your heart sink.

But you couldn’t show Folio how it made you feel.

“...So is he putting these songs on the next album?” You asked, crossing your arms, but Folio shook his head. 

“No, after all the shit you got online after the fans found out what happened, he decided not to make things worse.”

You scoffed. 

“You saw all that, huh?” 

“Yeah… We all did. It really pissed Noah off seeing how they spoke about you-”

“As if he’s any better.” You shook your head, “Look, I want to move on. I don’t want to keep…”

Your voice caught in your throat. You swallowed hard, shaking your head like that might somehow shift the ache in your chest.

Folio leaned against the counter, arms crossed, watching your face carefully.

“You don’t want to keep what?” He asked, his voice softer now.

You let out a sharp breath. 

“I don’t want to keep feeling like this. Like I’m stuck in the past. I came here for a fresh start, I knew it’d be hard but I didn’t ever think it’d be like this. Like no matter how hard I try, I’m always going to be tied to him in some way.” Your fingers tightened around the crumpled paper. “And it’s like he’s still tied to me, too. But I don’t know if that’s a good thing or just…” You exhaled shakily. “A curse.”

Folio let that sit for a moment before answering. 

“Maybe it’s neither.” He said simply.

Your eyes flicked up to him. 

“What do you mean?”

“I mean… maybe that’s just what happens when you really love someone. You can't just forget them overnight, and the universe has it’s ways of bringing you back together. Cause let’s be real, you and Noah, you were never just casual. Not to him.”

“Could’ve fooled me.” You scoffed. 

“C’mon, y/n. He left that night, yeah. He shut you out. But he never stopped caring.” He motioned to the lyrics still clutched in your hand. “You think someone writes all these songs about a girl they don’t care about? Other people have hurt him in the past, all they got was a ‘fuck you’ and their number blocked. But not you.”

Your chest felt unbearably tight as your eyes dropped to the words, reading them again even though they were already burned into your brain.

Your voice was small when you finally spoke again.

“Then why didn’t he fight for me? And in all those months, why didn’t he reach out? If he still cared?”

Folio hesitated. 

“I think, in his own way, he thought leaving was the safest thing to do. He was protecting himself in that moment, but I don't think he thought this far ahead… And c’mon, we all know he’s stubborn as fuck. I think he was waiting for you to reach out first.”

You blinked, caught off guard by that, but Folio continued.

“Look, I’m not saying he handled things right, neither of you did. But I think he was confused and hurting, just like you. And when you’re hurt, sometimes you run. That’s just what he did.”

Silence stretched between you.

“But he seemed to move on pretty quick.” Your voice was quieter now, but Folio still heard the bitterness laced in it.

“You mean him and Amy?”

You looked away. You didn’t need to say anything.

“I don’t know what to tell you,” he admitted, “I think, at first, she was just a distraction. Something that stopped him thinking about you.”

You let out a sharp breath. 

“Well, that’s not what Ruffilo told me. He said they were inseparable until I came back.”

Folio exhaled sharply, shaking his head. 

“You really believe he could ever love somebody who isn’t you, y/n? We all knew different. We knew what they had wasn’t real- which is why she hated us, because she knew that we were right. That’s why she followed him everywhere, she had to be by his side at all times, trying to make him love her, and he allowed it, he played into it becuase he was trying to... Well, let's just say they were never inseparable because they were in love.”

You took a deep breath, letting his words sink in, feeling even more sorry for her having to be dragged into this mess.

“I can’t do this, Nick.” Your voice was barely above a whisper, and you hated the way it wavered. “I made a mistake moving here. I thought it’d be okay. I thought we were done with each other. But I can’t keep messing up people's lives.”

“Hey,” Folio’s face softened, “You’re not! Did you even listen to me? Or anyone in the last few weeks? He isn’t happy with her.”

Your breath hitched, and you forced yourself to shake your head. 

“Then he should let her down gently and should find someone else.” Your voice was tight as you were barely holding it together. “Because I can’t go back there. Not even if I wanted to. Not after what I did to him.”

Folio opened his mouth to argue, but you cut him off.

“No!” Your voice cracked as you raised it, the tears finally spilling over, blurring your vision. “If he can still care about me after everything I put him through… I don’t deserve him.”

Folio’s face fell, his own throat bobbing as he swallowed. He didn’t try to argue with you this time. Because what could he say to someone who truly believed they weren’t worthy of love?

…

A couple hour passed, Folio gave you some time to cool off before knocking on your bedroom door.

“Y/n?”

There was a moment of silence before he heard your bed creak.

“Yeah?”

“…It’s Nicole’s party tonight, remember?”

“Oh, shit!” You groaned.

Your mind had been elsewhere for so long, you had forgotten about everything else. You hadn’t even bought her a gift.

You shot out of bed, swinging thr door open.

“Fuck, I forgot all about that, I've had so much else going on… Have you got her a gift?”

“Yeah, don’t worry about it we can say it’s a joint gift.”

“Folio, I fucking love you.” You let out a breath you didn’t realise you were holding, before wrapping your arms around him, a hug you didn't know you needed.

You just about had time to hop in the shower, get dressed and get ready before Folio said it was time to go.

You were not looking forward to seeing Noah this evening, with all the conflict in your mind right now that was the last thing you needed, so you thought you’d turn up to Nicole’s party, stay for a little while before complaining of a headache and go home, hopefully before he even made it there. 

So you cursed yourself when you both turned up at the same time. 

As Folio pulled up to Jolly’s driveway, Noah and Amy were already there, getting out of his car. 

Your breath caught the second you spotted them.

Noah slammed his car door shut, his expression flat as he walked towards the front door. Amy was at his side in an instant, her hand wrapping possessively around his arm, her eyes flicking toward you briefly, acknowledging you with a small smile.

You swallowed hard, willing yourself to stay composed.

Folio glanced at you as he put the car in park. 

“We can wait a minute if you want.”

You shook your head quickly. 

“No. Let’s just go in.” The sooner you got inside, the sooner you could find Nicole, say your hellos, and disappear before things got messy.

Folio hesitated but nodded, unbuckling his seatbelt.

You opened the door and stepped out, feeling the weight of Noah’s gaze before you even looked up. And when you did, you regretted it instantly.

His eyes lingered on you, but before either of you could say anything, Amy’s grip on his arm tightened. She turned to him with a sickeningly sweet smile.

“Come on, baby. Let’s go say hi to your friends.”

Your stomach turned at the sound of it.

"Baby."

You ignored the way your fingers curled into fists at your sides and forced yourself to turn away, shutting the car door harder than necessary. You weren’t going to do this. Not here. Not tonight.

But as you followed Folio toward the house, you heard Amy murmur something to Noah, her voice just low enough that you couldn’t make out the words, but whatever she said made his shoulders stiffen.

Your mind screamed at you, telling you to go back. Go home. This was a bad idea.

But instead, you kept putting one foot in front of the other, fighting the urge to steal Folio's keys and dart back to the car.

You felt Folio’s arm wrap around your shoulders, comfortingly as you both walked to the door, letting Amy and Noah pass before stepping inside, Nicole’s face instantly lighting up as she spotted you. 

“Finally! I’ve been waiting ages for you to turn up!” She grinned, pulling you into a hug. 

“Yeah, sorry… Got caught in traffic.” You said with a small smile, “But happy birthday! We got you a joint gift.”

Folio handed the gift bag over to her, and she took it with a grin. 

“Thank you so much! Can I get you guys a drink?”

“Sure, I’ll have beer!” Folio smiled, but you were more hesitant. 

“I'll just have a coke, please. I kinda want to keep a clear head tonight.” 

“Good thinking,” she chuckled, walking the two of you towards the kitchen, before motioning to the back yard, “Look, Jolly decorated whilst I was at work today, doesn’t it look beautiful?”

You looked out into the garden, string lights were hung on the fence, there was a bonfire, a bar, a makeshift dance floor and of course the best speakers Matt would allow him to borrow. 

“He really put a lot of thought into this, huh?” You smiled, watching how her face lit up as she watched her boyfriend talk with his friends by the fire. 

“I know,” she smiled, “What did I do to deserve him?”

You noticed the way her bottom lip quivered as she spoke, making you frown. 

“Hey, hey! No tears, it’s your birthday party!” You pulled her into a hug, and she nodded against your shoulder. 

“I know, I know…" She sniffled, "I just really love him.” 

“And he loves you too…”

She nodded, and you carefully wiped away the tears that had spilled from her eyes. 

“Now… I love this song, and if you don’t dance with me I don’t know who else will.” You smirked, hearing the intro to First Date by blink 182. 

“Uh… Me of course!” You heard Alyson call out, walking into the kitchen to greet you, and complaining about how Amy was already making comments about the setup outside.

So you, Nicole, and Alyson naturally made your way to the makeshift dance floor outside. The cool evening air wrapped around you, but the warmth of the string lights and the giddy energy between you and your girls made it easy to ignore.

The three of you sang along as you moved to the beat, carefree and lighthearted for the first time in what felt like forever. It felt good, just having fun, just being here with your friends, just living in the moment without thinking too much.

But, of course, it never lasted.

You turned mid-spin, breathless and smiling, and your gaze caught on something...

Or someone.

Noah was standing near the bonfire, hands stuffed in his pockets, eyes trained on you. His expression was neutral, but the intensity of his stare made your heart stutter. He looked away the second your eyes met, but the damage was already done.

And Nicole noticed. Of course she did.

“Uh-uh, nope,” she grabbed your wrist, tugging you back towards her. “No looking at him tonight, honey. It’s my birthday, and I refuse to let you spend it stuck in your head over him.”

You blinked, heat rushing to your face. 

“I wasn’t-”

“You were,” she interrupted, grinning. “But you’re not anymore.”

You huffed a laugh, shaking your head. 

“Fine, fine.”

You let her pull you back into the moment, pushing everything else aside. You’d deal with your feelings and Noah another day.

For now, this was Nicole’s night, and Alyson had just put her favourite Pitbull song on, so you knew you weren't leaving the dancefloor any time soon.

…

Hours passed, yet in the right company it only felt like minutes. Some of Nicole's other friends arrived a little later, yet they seemed to keep to themselves. As the sun began to set, the sky turned into shades of warm oranges and deep purples, casting a soft glow over the party. The air turned cooler, a crisp breeze settling in, making you shiver slightly.

Folio, ever observant, caught it immediately.

“Here.” He took off his jacket and draped it around your shoulders without a second thought.

You glanced up at him, a grateful smile tugging at your lips. 

“You didn’t have to-”

“Yeah, yeah,” he rolled his eyes but grinned. “Just take it.”

You did, pulling it tighter around yourself as you exhaled, watching the flames of the bonfire flicker against the night.

Everyone had started to settle down, some grouped around the fire, others stood by the bar or swaying to whatever song was playing now.

And then Jolly cleared his throat.

The chatter died down as he rose to his feet near the fire, shifting slightly before speaking.

“I, uh…” He glanced around, swallowing hard before his gaze landed on Nicole. His whole face softened. “I just wanted to say something, to Nicole.”

Nicole blinked, her brows knitting together slightly. 

“Jol…?”

He let out a breath, then smiled. The most genuine smile you had ever seen.

“Babe, when I met you, six years, four months and twenty days ago, I never thought a beautiful, intelligent, kind woman like you would ever look my way… But you did, and every single day I wonder what the hell I did to deserve you.”

Your heart stopped. You knew exactly what was happening here, and so did the guys- besides Matt and Noah, who both looked a little puzzled.

Nicole’s eyes widened, her hands flying to her mouth as Jolly reached into his pocket and pulled out a small black box, dropping down onto one knee.

Nicole’s hands were trembling, her lips parted in shock as he opened the box, revealing a delicate, stunning ring that caught the light of the fire.

“I want to keep this short, I did plan a little speech but...” Jolly let out a breathy chuckle, “I want it to come straight from the heart. I love you.” Jolly said simply, his voice steady, sure. “And there is nobody else I want to spend the rest of this life with. So, Nicole Rodriguez… Will you marry me?”

For a moment, everything, and everyone was completely still, silenced.

Then,

“Yes!” Nicole practically launched herself at him.

Jolly laughed as he caught her, holding her tightly before pulling back just enough to slip the ring onto her finger and kiss her.

You smiled, clapping along with everyone else, warmth spreading through you as you watched Matt wipe the tears from Alyson’s eyes. The whole moment made you feel warm inside, the amount of love in the air, between Matt and Alyson, Nicole and Jolly. Sure, it did made your heart hurt, but right in this moment you felt nothing but pure joy.

But you couldn’t help but wonder if you would ever feel something like this...

You thought back to last time, last year, when Matt had proposed to Alyson. It was during the tour on a day off, a day spent at the beach. Back when you were conflicted over what you wanted.

“Hey,” Noah’s voice broke your focus as he sat down beside you on the sand, his shadow long in the light of the fire. He offered you a skewer of roasted marshmallows, the edges golden and soft, before smirking. “You look like you could use something sweet... Oh, and some marshmallows.”

“Thanks." You chuckled, taking it. Your fingers brushed his briefly, and for a moment, neither of you moved.

Noah leaned back, taking in the sight of the sea as the moon reflected off it. 

“This is the kind of night that sticks with you forever.” He said.

You nodded, turning your head around to look back at Matt and Alyson, who were wrapped up in their own little bubble of love and laughter by the fire. 

“I'm so happy for them, they're perfect for each other.”

“It’s what everyone’s chasing, I guess,” Noah said quietly. “That kind of connection. That kind of bond.”

You glanced at him, his profile softened by the moonlight. There was something wistful in his voice, like he was trying to reach for something he couldn’t quite touch. There was so much he wanted to say, to confess, but now wasn’t the time. The time would come soon, though, he was sure of it. 

“It makes you wonder, doesn’t it?” He asked suddenly, turning to look at you.

“Wonder what?”

“What it’s like to have something so... unshakable. What it’s like to have something that strong.” 

You thought back to that night more than you'd care to admit, wondering what he truly meant, whether there was something he was going to say to you if you weren't interrupted.

“Do you believe in soulmates, Noah?” You asked, your eyes meeting his as you waited for his answer.

“I, uh… I like to think everyone has someone out there,” he nods, “I know I’ve met mine already.” 

“You have…?” You swallow hard. 

“Ruffilo.” He said proudly with a smile, “I know he’s my platonic soulmate, at least. I can’t imagine my life without him, we’ve been there for each other through everything, through the depths of hell but also the happiest moments of our lives. I know some people think soulmates are a romantic thing but… I don’t believe that.”

“Noah,” you pout, “I’m glad you have him.” You say with a smile, resting your head on his shoulder. 

“What about you?”

“Hm?”

“Do you believe in soulmates?”

“I don’t know.” You admit, looking out at the sea, “I’ve always believed there’s someone out there for me, maybe I’ve already met them, maybe I haven’t. Growing up I always imagined meeting them, getting married, having kids… But I don’t know if that’s what I want anymore…”

“Why not?” He asked, curiously. 

“I just can’t imagine being the love of somebody’s life. Sure, I might love them, but how would I know they’re telling me the truth? How would I know I’m not being lied to?”

Noah frowned, tilting his head down to look at you.

He thought about how he could put it into words. Should he just spit it out, "I love you!"... No, you deserve more than that. "You're the love of my life"... No, too cheesy.

But before he had the chance to make the confession that could possibly change your life forever, Vinny appeared, dropping into the sand on your other side, already diverting the conversation.  

Noah was going to tell you then. Everything could've been so much different if he had just said it, if he had told you the truth that night, and not wait until it was too late.

Because if he had, then the two of you would be sat together now, your head resting on his shoulder, holding hands, stealing kisses by the fire.

But instead, he was sat several feet away from you, his girlfriend by his side, resting her head on his shoulder, playing with the rings on his fingers.

You didn't even realise you were staring, until you felt him staring back.

But you didn’t look away, not straight away. The music faded, and everyone around you seemed to disappear, your heart fluttered under his gaze. Instinct told you to look away, but you hesitated. Because you wanted to know...

Was he thinking the same as you right now? Did he regret anything? Did he also wish he didn’t leave that night? Did he also wish the two of you could’ve talked it out back then, instead of spending months in pain. 

Did he also wish you had never even met?

Before you could figure it out, movement in your peripheral vision- Amy kissing his cheek- snapped you back to reality. You shook your head, shaking off the feeling that was lingering in your chest, and got up, walking away.

Amy loved him, you told yourself, she deserves him more than you. She'd never hurt him the way you did. She'd treat him the way he deserved.

But she had felt the way his body tensed.

She had seen the way his breathing changed.

And in that moment, she knew.

The realisation hit her like a punch to the gut. Her fingers tightened around Noah’s arm, grounding herself. Grounding him.

“Noah...” she murmured, so soft it almost got lost under the noise of celebration, the sound of Jolly popping open a bottle of champagne.

He blinked, as if surfacing from a trance. 

“Yeah?”

Amy forced a small laugh, tilting her head up at him. 

“Could you imagine it?”

His brows furrowed. 

“Imagine what?”

She gestured subtly toward Jolly and Nicole.

“Us. Getting married someday. I know we’ve only been together five months but… Do you think about the future too?”

Something passed over Noah’s face, so quick that if Amy hadn’t already been looking for it, she might have missed it.

But she was looking.

And she did see it.

The hesitation, the uncertainty, the lie he wanted to tell but couldn’t bring himself to say.

Because he had only ever imagined his future with one person, and it wasn't Amy.

Noah’s lips parted slightly, as if he were going to speak.

Just say yes. Just say yes.

But no words came.

Amy exhaled sharply through her nose, nodding to herself like she had just confirmed the inevitable.

“It’s okay. You don’t have to say anything." She murmured, her voice quieter than before.

“Amy-”

“No.” She shook her head, forcing a smile, as if she could will herself into believing this didn’t hurt. “It’s okay.”

But it wasn’t okay.

Because now she knew for sure. She had been right since the beginning. 

Noah hadn’t fully been hers from the start.

She had felt it in the way he kissed her. The way he held her. How he always seemed present, but never completely there. She had tried to ignore it, tried to believe that maybe, just maybe, if she loved him enough, he would love her the same way in return.

But love shouldn’t have to be earned.

And she refused to be that girl again. The one who waited around, hoping one day, she’d finally be enough.

Amy swallowed against the lump in her throat and let go of his arm.

“I think I should go.”

Noah’s head snapped toward her, jaw tightening. 

“Amy, no, don’t-”

She smiled, but it didn’t reach her tear filled eyes. 

“It’s okay, Noah. Really.”

She took a step back, arms crossing over her stomach, as if holding herself together. She wanted to scream at him, she wanted to cry, tell him she hated him, but she couldn't. Where would that get her?

Because she did love him, and she wanted him to be happy. She wished and hoped and prayed every night that it would be her, that she could give him what he wanted, but no. It was clear now.

“Just… do me a favour, okay?”

His throat bobbed as he nodded.

Amy let out a slow breath, shaking her head, her voice breaking as she whispered,

“Don’t lie to yourself anymore.”

And then she turned and walked away, disappearing into the house, leaving Noah sitting there, surrounded by laughter and love. 

Yet feeling completely alone.

…

You were stood by the fridge, talking with Bryan, when Amy stormed past, sobbing her heart out.

You and Bryan exhanged a glance, before you backed away, rushing to follow her.

"Amy?" You called out, catching her just before she made it to the front door.

You barely had time to register her tear-streaked face before she spoke.

“I was wrong again.” She whispered, laughing bitterly.

Your heart sank. 

“What do you mean?”

Amy sniffled, shaking her head. 

“I thought Noah was the one. I really thought…” She trailed off, blinking rapidly.

“What happened?”

She hesitated. Then, in a small, broken voice, she said,

“It’s you.”

You froze.

“He’s yours, y/n. He was always yours.” She let out a shaky breath, like she was on the verge of hyperventilating. “I can’t compete. I can’t do this anymore. I won't sit around and wait for the inevitable. Not again! I won’t!”

Guilt hit you like a ton of bricks.

“Amy, I-”

“No.” She shook her head. “It’s not your fault. It’s his. If he loved me, even the slightest bit, he would’ve… He would’ve ended things sooner, and not put me through all this shit when he could see what it's been doing to me!” Her voice cracked, and for the first time, she looked truly exhausted. “I deserve more than this. And you…” she swallowed, eyes glassy, "You need to figure out what the hell you want. You say you're over him, that you don't want him, but does he know that? Because the way you look at him says otherwise."

You opened your mouth to speak, but you physically couldn't get any words out.

You felt sick.

You wanted to argue, to tell her she was wrong, but you couldn’t. Because a part of you knew she wasn’t. If you were truly over Noah, you wouldn't think about him every night, your pulse wouldn't race when he looked your way, you woouldn't wonder if you could've ever made things work.

She nodded once, more to herself than to you, before reaching for the doorknob. But before she could leave, you grabbed her wrist, stopping her.

"Amy... I never wanted this." You said softly, guilt threading through every syllable.

She gave you a sad smile.

"I know. Neither did I."

And then she was gone, slipping out the door and leaving you standing there, feeling like the worst person in the world.

The party continued outside, like nothing had happened. This was Nicole's night, it was supposed to be full of friendship, love and fun memories, and you weren't about to let Noah ruin it. You took a shaky breath, running a hand through your hair, before turning back toward the kitchen, only to find yourself face to face with Matt.

His expression was unreadable, but his arms were crossed, his stance firm.

"She’s right, you know," he said quietly. Fuck, did he hear all of that? "You need to figure this out."

Your heart sank.

"Matt, I-"

"No," he cut you off gently, but firmly. "I’m not saying this to make you feel worse. I’m saying it because I care about both of you. And if you don’t do something about this... You’re both just gonna keep hurting each other, and the people around you. forever"

You looked away, staring at the floor as his words settled into your bones.

"Do you still love him?" He asked, voice softer now.

Your lips parted, but no words came. Because even though the answer was right there, just waiting to be spoken, you couldn’t bring yourself to say it.

And Matt saw it.

He sighed, rubbing a hand over his face.

"That’s what I thought."

Silence stretched between you. You wanted to run, to bury this all deep down and pretend it didn’t exist. But that wasn’t an option anymore, was it?

"Come on. Let’s get you some air." Matt smiled softly.

He didn’t wait for a response before guiding you toward the back door. You followed, your mind spinning, your chest tight. The cool night air hit you as you stepped outside, but it did little to calm the storm raging inside you.

And then, just as you were trying to steady your breathing, trying to make sense of the chaos in your head, you saw him, sitting there, laughing with his friends like nothing happened. Like he hadn't just broken Amy's heart.

Hands curling into fists, you exhaled sharply, the fire outside flickering as if it, too, shared your frustration.

And then, without thinking, you moved.

“NOAH!!”

His head lifted slightly at the sharpness in your voice.

Before he could react, you grabbed him by the wrist and dragged him inside.

His brows shot up, stunned. 

“What the fu-”

You shoved him against the wall, fire burning in your chest.

“What the fuck are you playing at? Your girlfriend just left in tears and you didn’t think to go after her? Haven’t you learnt from the past?!” You were seeing red. 

“She asked if I’d marry her, I didn’t know what to say.” He shrugged, trying to defend himself. 

“Then you’d say yes!” You shouted.

“And be miserable forever? Lie to her every single day for the rest of our lives?” He scoffed, “Y/n, it’s not that simple.” 

You let out a sharp, humourless laugh, stepping back just enough to glare at him. 

“Not that simple? Not that simple?” Your voice was incredulous, barely containing the rage inside you. “She loves you, Noah. She spent the last five months giving you everything! She wanted a future with you. And you couldn’t even pretend to consider it? This was supposed to be Nicole’s night, and as usual, you fucked it up!”

Noah glared at you.

“I fucked it up?” He scoffed, “Oh, now that’s rich coming from you.” 

“Don’t you dare.” You spat, through gritted teeth, pointing a finger at him. “Noah Sebastian. We are in the past. You said it yourself. We were a… a mistake.” You swallowed hard, forcing the words out.

“Don’t you dare give me that bullshit.” 

“What-”

“C’mon. It’s fucking obvious, how many times have I caught you looking at me like that tonight?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

Noah raised an eyebrow, stepping closer, closing the distance between you. 

“C’mon, don’t play dumb… I saw it, she saw it.”

Your heart hammered in your chest. He was too close- too close for comfort. But you couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe, because deep down, you knew he was right.

“You’re out of your damn mind, Noah.” You muttered, trying to step back, but he followed, stalking forward until your back hit the wall.

“Oh, am I?” His voice was lower now, rough, taunting. His breath was warm against your cheek, his presence suffocating in the best and worst ways. “Tell me, then. Tell me you feel nothing when I’m this close.”

Your jaw clenched. You refused to give him the satisfaction, but the way your pulse betrayed you, the way your breath hitched at his proximity, it was humiliating.

And he knew it.

A smirk tugged at the corner of his lips, his fingers twitching at his sides, like he wanted to reach for you but was holding himself back.

Or maybe he wasn’t.

Because a second later, his hand found your hip.

You tensed, every nerve ending in your body screaming at you to pull away... no, to pull him closer. To cave. To feel him again, to pretend that nothing had changed.

But everything had.

“Fuck you, Noah.” Your voice was steel, even as your hands shook. You shoved him back, putting space between you. “You broke that poor girl’s heart. Whether you ever really loved her or not, she deserves to know the truth, she needs closure, don’t you think?”

Noah exhaled slowly, dragging a hand down his face. For a second, you thought he might argue, that he might say something selfish, something you wanted to hear but couldn’t allow yourself to.

Instead, he just stared at you.

And God, you hated the way he looked at you. Like he was searching for something. Like he was waiting for you to say the words first.

“Noah.” You swallowed, forcing down the lump in your throat. “Go after her. She never deserved to be sucked into our mess. If Amy ever meant anything to you, you’d go after her right now. You'd go after her and you’d apologise. For everything. Please, Noah."

But he didn’t move.

And then Amy’s voice echoed in your head, full of heartbreak.

“He’s yours, y/n. He was always yours.”

-----------------------------

@bloody-spades @death-ofpeace-ofmind @miss570 @dominuslunae @dontwantthemoney @amelia-acero @noahslutbastian @blade-dressed-in-red @super-btstrash-posts @kait16xo @oobleoob @sunshine-lvrr @lacy1986 @enemiestolovershoe @samanthasgone @superpiratecriminalchef @lukeevangelista @lunabuna991 @ami--gami @bluehairpunklol @darknightstarryeyes @xxkittenkissesxx @renegadebirch

[lichenes]

OMG I'M SO GLAD SOMEONE IS WRITING ABT SKI AGGUUUUU. there's so many joost fics (which I love) but I've been looking for aggu fics in the depths of the internet for soo long ( ´_ゝ｀)

~

anyways, can i please request something where the reader catches the eye of aggu during a concert or smth, and the whole interaction between them is cute and flirtatious? ski aggu is a BIG ladies man, so, reader is obviously falling for his pick-up lines ect. thank you!! ^3^

Literally! Where are the Aggu fics?? I've seen edits of this man with 19k likes on tiktok and literally noody is posting abt him here!! Anyway! Once again, need him biblically. I'm a sucker for irl scenarios :"") Loosely based on that one video of sbd holding Aggu's hand; jealous. Enjoooy<3 CW: flirting wc: 686

•───────•°•❀•°•───────••────────•°•❀•°•────────•

The crowd, alongside you, was singing the lyrics to “wie du manchmal fehlst”. You were standing in the first row, mesmerised by Aggu’s form. Throughout the night he would run around the stage but during this song he walked closer to the crowd. You realised at that moment that he was making a beeline for you. You quickly thanked your earlier self for wearing something revealing and extended your arm towards him. 

When your fingers connected with his own your brain short-circuited. Suddenly the room started spinning. You were literally holding Aggu’s hand. You kept singing hoping your singing skills were satisfactory, if he heard them. He looked down at you and gave you a smile as if to reassure you that it was happening in real life. You saw his grills alongside the grin he flashed you and my god, did he look good from that point of view.

He moved around near the crowd for a moment more and went back to his usual theatrics. You got a video of him holding your hand which might’ve been the happiest moment of your life so far. He moved away from you after a moment of closeness to get close to other fans, avoiding holding hands with anyone else. The song was one of the last ones he performed so not long after he said his goodbyes he walked backstage. 

After the concert Aggu posted a story in English pertaining to the person who held his hand. It so happened to be you. You dm’d him, sending the video as proof if he wanted it. He didn’t answer quickly. Your anxiety was rising with each passing hour. Suddenly when you were just about to go to sleep, you heard a notification. “How’d you like the concert?” 

You couldn’t believe this. “I loved it!! I honestly was sooo happy when I got the tickets and-” You stopped for a moment, deleting the message entirely. “It was lovely!” You tried to seem nonchalant but it couldn’t be denied that you were fucking texting The Ski Aggu. He sent you a voice message.

…

Holy shit. Did he expect one back? What did he say? What was even going on?! “Mmm, glad you liked it. I couldn’t help but notice such a beautiful person among the crowd.” It was only a few seconds long but it made your heart flutter like a ballad sung by the greatest singer to ever live. You gathered all your courage and pressed ‘record’. You rambled for a minute straight and when your phone buzzed with the message reaching its full capability you decided against sending it. ‘Okay. We can do this.’ You thought about what you wanted to say and attempted to try again. Then a message popped up. “Hesitating gorgeous?” 

…oh my god.

“I wouldn’t dream of it.” You responded, quickly regretting your decision. He saw the message and started typing. “Good.” Your heart stopped for a second. You pressed record and began rambling once more. Sent. Okay. Alright. “You’ve got a voice as gorgeous as your face angel.” The answer came quicker than you expected. He sent another voice message. “I was thinking, maybe you’d like to meet up today? I heard you’ve got great clubs here.” 

You were frantically getting ready, suddenly forgetting how to do eyeliner and what clothes suited you the best. “I’m here.” You read the message in your notifications. You brushed your teeth quickly and ran out the door, almost breaking a leg on the stairs. You saw him in his car waiting, scrolling through tiktok. He was wearing his usual clothes and you started feeling a bit too overdressed. His reaction to your appearance swept you off your feet. 

“Hi dov-” Looking up from his phone he saw what he would describe as the embodiment of the word breathtaking. His jaw almost went slack from seeing you in those clothes. “My goodness, you’re even more beautiful now. How’d you do that?” You blushed. “Tried my best with what I have.” He looked at you with lust in his eyes. “Oh and you’ve got so much.” 

•───────•°•❀•°•───────••────────•°•❀•°•────────• masterlist

[ikyunho]

[01:00] Jung Wooyoung ~ Ateez

Pairing: Stripper!Wooyoung x Sugar mommy!Reader

Warnings: strip club (duh), picture Intak's on my mama solo dance, I've never been to a strip club take this with a grain of salt, wooyoung's a brat, mildly suggestive.

A/N: he's so pretty I can't.

Wooyoung sat backstage at the club, strategically placing silver glitter on his eyelids and collarbones, not bothering to dust off the excess falling down his skin. He knew you were out there waiting for him to come out; you always were.

The buttons on his shirt were undone dangerously low, leaving little to the imagination as he walked out on stage, the intro of his song beginning to play.

Wooyoung slowly walked to the front of the stage, sinking to his knees on tempo with the song. Locking eyes with you, he bit his lower lip, hiding a smirk. He knew he was going home with you at the end of the night.

The further his set progressed, the more he started feeling himself. Wooyoung was the star of the company, a fan favorite, the one everyone wanted, but everything he did was for you.

The teasing touches as he ran his hands down his chest.

The winks he threw in your direction.

All trying to rile you up. It never truly worked; you knew his tricks.

Wooyoung's set came to a close and you pulled several bills from your wallet ranging from 20s, 50s, and even a few 100s. He crawled to the end of the stage and graciously accepted them between his teeth before standing up and walking off with a captivating and smug sway of his hips.

Shortly after, he found you at a table in the back. Wooyoung slung an arm around your shoulders as you touched up your lip gloss.

"You did good," you told him, breaking the silence.

"You think? Feel like I could have done a bit more," Wooyoung half mindedly answered, hands roaming your thighs.

He looked amazing. The blue satin shirt falling off of one shoulder, the glitter reflecting the colored lights of the club. He was truly a sight to be seen, everything about him solidifying his place as club favorite.

"You had them eating out of the palm of your hand. Trust me. It was good." A small smile played on your lips as Wooyoung's face lit up from your praise.

You took a sip of your drink as you felt him get impossibly closer to you, lips on your exposed neck whispering 'thank yous' between rushed kisses before being dragged away by other dancers and staff reminding him of his responsibilities.

Your eyes followed his form until he disappeared behind a door, likely to give a customer a private dance. You stayed sat at the table, occasionally getting up to get a new drink from the bar.

Soon enough, Wooyoung came back, slightly stumbling, signifying the end of his shift. You stood up, placing a hand on his lower back and directing him out of the staff door in the back.

He never went home with anyone else. Not even before you two had met. You were drawn to each other. He was beautiful and intriguing, and you had too much money for just yourself. So logically, he became your sort of sugar baby.

You regularly gave him hundreds of dollars, bought him luxury clothing, anything he desired, and let him do whatever he wanted with it all. You supported him so he would never have to lift a finger.

The both of you walked into your apartment, Wooyoung's hand never once leaving your waist. He stood in front of you; the glitter still scattered on his cheekbones and eyelids making your mouth water.

You tilted your head up slightly, leaning in for a kiss which he dodged with a smirk. He wanted to play.

Wooyoung knew he was playing a dangerous game. You would let him have his fun; let him think it was getting to you until you reminded him of his place. But that was exactly what he wanted.

Your hand made a quick work of grabbing his wrist, holding him in place while your other hand slid up his chest, brushing at the exposed skin. You landed on Wooyoung's neck, wrapping your hand, decorated with dainty rings that cost thousands, around it with ease.

"C'mon baby," you teased, "we both know how this is going to end."

Wooyoung's audacity got the best of him. He rolled his eyes and gave you a look so smug you wanted to slap him. You refrained because he would actually like it.

You let go of both his wrist and his throat and walked towards the kitchen. You didn't wait to see if he would follow you, he's too predictable.

Wooyoung knew what he had to do. He pulled out a barstool for you, gestured for you to sit, and poured two glasses of red wine.

You took a sip before beginning to speak, "You really did do amazing tonight. I'm proud of you, truly."

Wooyoung blushed, the color contrasting with his skin and the glitter plaguing his features.

It was moments like these that the both of you cherished the most. The simple domesticity of it all, not feeling obligated to do anything sexual. While neither of you ever explicitly said it, your relationship had become something more. You didn't have to. The mutual, unspoken, agreement was enough for you both.

"Quit your job. Let me take care of you," the comfortable silence broken, your hand coming up to scratch at the nape of his neck.

Wooyoung hummed, eyes fluttering in pleasure. "But I like dancing," he responded in a half whisper.

"Then keep dancing, just let me have all of you," You confessed, finally speaking what both of you wanted. Your nails never stopping the gentle scratches he loved.

Wooyoung grinned lazily, "I thought you'd never ask."

[slut4celebs]

2 Hands

Tate McRae x Reader

Word Count: 1,397

Trigger Warning: anxiety

Request / Synopsis: "since "2 hands" has been released, i've been thinking about a fic where the reader is an f1 driver and she gets asked by tate to be in the mv"

request here | masterlist | yellowjackets account

She looked way too fine in this music video. I need her.

(Y/n) couldn't say no when her girlfriend of three months put on her best pout accompanied with her hazel puppy dog eyes. She wanted her to be in her 2 Hands music video due to the fact that she was a Formula One driver. When the basic plot somehow leaked that one of her close friends and fellow Formula One driver, Lando Norris, would be in the video due to the fact his F1 car matched the outfit her girlfriend, Tate, adorned during the promotion of the song. When (Y/n), who had oil smeared on her cheek from currently working on her car, finally said yes, Tate pulled her into a tight hug, kissing her on the spot. It made (Y/n) feel less worried about being on set with her girlfriend and confident in her choice.

Until the day came where she actually had to go on set.

A thousand and one thoughts swarmed through her head as she looked around. For one, how was she supposed to focus with Tate looking that good in her orange Formula One jumpsuit. Two, was she supposed to learn a dance? There were many things (Y/n) was good at and dance wasn't one of them. This fact caused her anxiety to spike as she hugged herself, eyes scanning her surroundings. It was hot, they were shooting outside, and she was anxious.

She was also wondering if she was late. She had come in to Tate filming a scene on an orange sports car outside a gas station, which was obviously another area they were planning to shoot in. Surely, if she was running late, her girlfriend would let her know. Pulling out her phone, she checked and confirmed her call time. Her throat felt dry and she could feel the clothes on her skin. She wasn't late, but she still felt out of place. That's when a familiar voice broke her out of her thoughts.

"Hey, (Y/n), are you okay? You're looking a little green." A hand fell on her shoulder and she shut her eyes. It was Findlay, Tate's best friend, who came to every shoot with her. Turning to him, she gave a wry smile. The smile didn't help (Y/n)'s case. "I can go get Tate really fast. When it comes to you, I know she won't mind if she has to reshoot."

Quickly, (Y/n) stopped him before he left. The grip and pull back surprised him, but it was still gentle enough not to hurt him. "No, no, no. I'm fine, Findlay. Am I- Am I late or something? Am I going to have to dance?" (Y/n) questioned, glancing to her shoes. She had spent a lot of time making sure she was perfect for Tate, and now that was all going to be ruined. She wasn't cut out for a music video, Tate probably should have asked Lando to be in the video. He was much more outgoing than she was. He would've done much better. The fans wanted him anyway. It was on pretty much every blog and in every Tweet about the music video.

Before Findlay could even attempt to answer her questions, another voice entered the conversation, startling (Y/n). She hadn't even heard the word 'Cut!' being called. "You made it," Tate smiled, pulling (Y/n) into a hug, kissing her. Pulling away, she went to get a drink of water before noticing just how green her girlfriend was. "Woah, babe, are you alright? You're looking a little green. You're not sick are you? I could've totally rescheduled the shots with you in it." Tate said, placing an arm on (Y/n)'s. She shot her best friend a look when he gasped and announced that he said the same thing.

"I'm fine," (Y/n) repeated, swallowing thickly as she looked at the dancers rehearsing. "Tate, am I going to have to dance? I'm not sure I'm cut out for this. Maybe you should get Lando. Everyone is speculating he is in it. Look-"

Tate gently pushed down (Y/n)'s phone as she desperately attempted to get proof. She glanced over to Findlay, who realized that he should be anywhere but there. Grabbing himself a water from the table beside him, he wandered off with a last reassuring smile sent (Y/n)'s way. Once he was gone, Tate gently took (Y/n)'s hands. (Y/n) had to resist wincing because she was sure that Tate was going to break up with her right then and there.

"I'm fully aware of what everyone is saying online and the teasing that Lando has been doing. I want you in this though. You're not going to have to dance. I just want you in the… you know, kinda sexy scenes on top of the car. Then, we'll shoot some more tomorrow in a house. I wanted you in this because I wrote this song for you. Also, I thought you and Lando might have more fun with the teasing." She added softly, squeezing her girlfriend's hands. Watching (Y/n) relax brought a smile on her face. She knew that (Y/n) was constantly trying to hide her flaw or reactions to certain situations, and she was a little glad to see her open up more. "If you really don't want to be in it, I won't be mad."

(Y/n) shook her head gently. Taking in a deep breath, she leaned in to kiss Tate. "I do want to be in this. I'm sorry, I got a bit freaked out. Plus, everyone online was thinking it was Lando, I felt I'd be a let down." She said with a small, honest smile.

Shaking her head, Tate couldn't help the small laugh from leaving her chest. "I was going to suggest your surprise guest starring to be a hard launch. Because, you're right, everyone online thinks it's Lando. Imagine their surprise when it's my beautiful girlfriend instead. We don't have to make it a soft launch, but either way… People are going to love that it's you instead. Trust me. You aren't giving yourself enough credit. I am painfully aware of all of the people who want you online." Tate teased.

A scoff left (Y/n), the tension easing up in her shoulders. "Have you seen your fans?" She rose a brow. The two were about to kiss again until the director called Tate back to shoot another shot. "Get out there. I'll get ready." (Y/n) opted on kissing her cheek quickly, watching Tate head off, sending one last wink in her direction.

When the music video came out, (Y/n) was standing behind Tate to read the comments. She was surprised to see just how right Tate was. Everyone was shocked, in a good way, that it was (Y/n) instead of Lando. A bunch of comments saying that the video was their gay awakening and 'a much better surprise' made its way through hundreds of millions of comments. She kissed Tate's cheek with a little smile. Tate leaning back into her girlfriend with a shared grin, her hazel eyes sparkling as she waited for another kiss. A wish fulfilled happily.

"So, when are you going to post our behind the scenes footage?" (Y/n) asked moving to sit beside her girlfriend. They had indeed decided to make this their hard launch. It felt right. "I think you should post the kiss still. It's my favorite."

Tate let her eyes search (Y/n)'s face for a moment. "Let's just give ourselves a few more minutes of it just being us." Tate decided, to which (Y/n) agreed with happily. When they finally did post that they were actually a couple using those behind the scenes photos and videos, it was as if they had broken the internet, not that either of them cared or acknowledged that. They were too busy being intertwined, content with the video that was now online for the whole world to see. (Y/n) received a lot of praise for her guest appearance, mostly from Tate. Not that she minded, that's the only person's opinion she really favored. But everyone loved how much Lando was teased, only for it to be a hard launch. (Y/n) just felt unbelievably lucky to be able to say that her girlfriend was the talented Tate McRae.

[starzwithapen]

⭑˚₊‧° ♢ 𓆩♡𓆪 ♢ °‧₊˚⭑

JOHN DORY / READER ☆ DUET?

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧��• ｡ﾟ

☆summary: Brozone happens to play on the radio, and JD's appalled to find out you're not a fan

☆content: reader is not a pop-troll, reader is gender neutral, lowkey crackfic lmao, established relationship

☆a/n: Silver wrote this one!! And okay we KNOW realistically JD would tell his partner about being in brozone but for the sake of the comedic factor in the fic he's hiding it shshsshshhsbshshsh

⭑˚₊‧° ♢ 𓆩♡𓆪 ♢ °‧₊˚⭑

You'd been sitting in the driver's seat, driving Rhonda around [a rare occurrence, but JD indulged you just this once] while John Dory stirred his sugar into his mug, handing you yours with a kiss to your cheek. You nod at him gratefully, looking down at the buttons spread across in front of you, one of them particularly sticking out to you.

“Woah, wait, I didn't know Rhonda had a radio.”

John Dory leans against the back of your seat, arms wrapped around you from behind, “ehh, I don't use it often in case it scares off all the animals.”

He pokes your arm playfully, eyes glancing out the window, “we're pretty far out, though, should be fine to listen to some tunes.”

You insert a random channel number, turning the volume upwards. This one seems to be a host speaking about the weather, so you switch to the next- sounds like a cheesy pop song of some kind, probably a boy band. You snort at the lyrics- you didn't know anyone could fit that many synonyms of “girl” into one song.

You switch onto the next channel without catching John Dory's wide, shit-eating grin, and the immediate way his face practically crumples apart, “wuh- hey, what's wrong with that last song? It was really good.”

“Okay, I know you're a pop-troll,” you start, trying to find a channel with your preferred music, “but you have to remember I'm not. That stuff hurts my ears.”

John Dory leans backwards, arms crossing around his chest, “Okay, yeah, you don't like pop music, but why that song specifically? I was really jamming out to it, y'know.” He makes that smug smile of his that normally has your cheeks heating, “guy's a lyrical genius if you ask me.”

You stare at him, unimpressed, because he's got to be joking if he thinks that song has deep lyrics.

“JD, he just rhymed baby with baby. Three times in a row. Within the same chorus.”

“Hey, it's hard to think of rhymes that don't throw off the choreo, okay?” He points an accusing finger in your direction before pausing, forcing a nonchalant pose and pursing his lips, “Or- uh, or so I've heard.”

“Yeah, yeah, that's what you pop-trolls always say. I think that guy just needs to pick up a dictionary every once in a while.”

You don't actually care about the song that much, but seeing John Dory get this riled up over it is funny enough for you to go further,

“I bet you I could write a better song by the end of the week than that guy has his whole career.”

John Dory's grin turns wolfish, and oh boy, you should've known better than to try and challenge him, even jokingly,

“Oh you bet, do you? We'll see about that.”

—-------------------

This whole thing was going. Uh. Badly.

Your conversation had escalated into another one of your bets, which you surprisingly lose more often than not, most likely because you bite off more than you can chew. John Dory's unfortunately very aware of this, and throws you bait whenever he can. This time was no different. Winner gets one request for the loser.

You are not a song-writer by any means. You're a troll, yes, trolls sing and dance! But you don't write songs! The most experience you have with rhyming is a shitty poem you made as a teenager that never saw the light of day.

You'd started with listening to more of Brozone's music, and okay, you have to admit, some of their songs were actually really good okay. You'd caught yourself humming them more than once throughout the day, and John Dory always gives you that smug look from your peripherals before leaning in to kiss you senseless. He knew you were coming around to them and it was humiliating, and he was also concerningly elated by it.

While listening you've come to realise the lead singer sounds oddly similar to John Dory, just with a higher pitch and none of that raspiness. Like, freakishly similar. It's had you thinking John Dory's calling for you when he's just sound asleep, and the fact you misheard Brozone's “baby” or “honey” as JD is frankly embarrassing.

You groan and slump against the couch, the pen tumbling out your hand and clattering onto the ground below. Okay, you had to admit, this was really difficult. You were suddenly gaining so much more respect for boy bands.

You'd wanted to use this ridiculous bet as an opportunity to show off, or…even bring you and JD closer together- you know how important music is to him, so getting to write him a love song under the guise of a bet? It's a perfect chance handed to you on a silver platter!

But you just can't seem to think of the words- it's already been a week and so far you've written, what? 4 verses? And they all sucked. You wanted it to mean something- you wanted it to sound poetic and elegant and meaningful all at once, unlike those silly songs on the radio, but it just wouldn't work out!

You muffle a frustrated shout into your hands, pulling them away from your face when you hear footsteps, looking up to see John Dory towering over you.

“You give up yet?” His smile is adorable infuriating to look at, so you cast your gaze aside, huffing and grabbing your pen off the floor.

“No, ‘course not.”

He hums, patient for you to admit defeat, trying to take a peek at your notebook from up above, though you're not too worried since he can't read upside down [or at all, you've come to suspect].

“Okay, fine, I give up. You win.”

John Dory lets out a ‘whoop!’ and throws a fist upwards in celebration, smile so wide you're afraid he'll split his face apart.

You sigh, “Okay, hit me with it, I'm doing the dishes for a full week? Scrubbing Rhonda's windows?”

“Sing a duet with me.”

“This is so unfair, you know I hate doing the dishes- wait- huh?”

John Dory looks at you with a hopeful gleam in his eyes, holding his palm out for you to take, “Sing a duet with me. C'mon, don't think I haven't seen you swaying to my- uh, ahem, Brozone's music the past few days.”

He recovers quickly from his slip-up, tugging you upwards once you take his hand. He carefully starts up his record player, and you're surprised to find you recognise the song immediately, since it'd become a favourite of yours this past week.

“You know this one?” JD grins in your direction, one hand on your waist and the other on your shoulder, his touch gentle yet firm, “think I've heard you hum it a few too many times during breakfast.”

The song starts off slow, as does your dancing, the both of you simply swaying together- you don't exactly…dance often, so your movements are clumsy while his are self-assured.

The lyrics are cheesy, all about young teenage love, but…they make you feel giddy, your steps becoming lighter, your heart fluttering about. And, well, the song may not have deep mind-blowing lyrics, but you think that's the point of it. It's just meant to be fun, have your blood pumping and your heart soaring.

“We're grown adults, this song is for highschoolers.” You say, though your smile is fonder this time. John Dory chuckles and spins you around in his arms, making your head spin in more ways than one, your feet tripping up over his, “C’mon, live a little! Who says we can't be young and free in our mid-thirties?”

You stumble in place, trying to blink the dizziness out your eyes.

“JD, I'm gonna knock you out.” You try your best to grumble, but it only comes out flustered with how hot your cheeks are.

He smirks, twirling you around, “You've already knocked me-” his foot slides under yours, and you fall down into his arms with a yelp as he catches you in a perfect dip- “off my feet.”

Just before you can spew another insult at him for catching you off-gaurd like this, he leans in to kiss you, lips melding against yours sweetly. You melt into it, his arms secured around you so you don't fall, the music fading into background noise in your mind. You know your voice will be hoarse from singing and your muscles sore from dancing by the end of the night, and you wouldn't have it any other way.

⭑˚₊‧° ♢ 𓆩♡𓆪 ♢ °‧₊˚⭑

Would be superr cool if you left feedback if you enjoyed it's super helpful and much appreciated ! this guy is so cringefail I NEED HIM. -silver

[aiscapades]

thinking out loud abt recent discussions in the touchstarved/obscura fandoms :) literally just my own personal opinion !!!!!

i can't stop thinking abt cirrus bc he's honestly what i want so badly for the touchstarved LIs. it's what i wanted for count lucio.

i was reading y'all's opinions abt the touchstarved marketing and your concerns abt how the game is gonna turn out, and while i was understanding, i also was so confused abt .. where this sudden concern was coming from. and then i played obscura and i was like oh! i didn't know a game could be like this! i didn't know a demo could be like this! i had entirely different reactions to the obscura demo than i did the touchstarved demo

—and yeah that's comparing two totally different games, different studios, different projects. the touchstarved demo served to introduce the characters and the world and it did that wonderfully. it's satisfactory. it's not that they did anything wrong?? but i cannot deny they gave me two insanely different reactions. i was YELLING when cirrus was doing his shit. it was like what i imagine watching trashy reality tv is like. or like watching one of those poorly-made TV movies and just enjoying the ride. i was hollering and jumping out of my chair and GAWKING at the screen. like cirrus was real and he was really saying this insane shit and i was SO ON BOARD and selecting every insane option the game gave me. it was just so wild. and it was so, so fun.

so i thought abt it more and i was like yeah. i actually see where this concern is coming from. rss keeps their stuff so close to their chest that it's hard to tell what routes they're taking, how they're dealing with certain issues, how deep the character arcs go, etc. i have no idea how fucked up their version of monstrosity gets, and for a game that is ENTIRELY about monsters and monstrosity, that definitely gives me pause. we don't know anything. they drop hints and we guess and theorize, but we don't know anything. we know leander is fucked up. we know they're all fucked up. in what way? who knows. does mhin murder people as a giant crow beast every night? we don't definitively know. we kinda assume that based on lore drops, but we don't know. but then other studios are doing semi-regular q&as and dropping information into the laps of their fans on a daily basis (lost in limbo??? hello? every day i get a notif that they've told us something new, either abt ALL the characters or about the world). idk how early obscura devs have been answering questions but they're also doing something similar. but for rss you can send in questions and you're probably never gonna hear back. you can't just ask them what song the m5 LIs would sing on karaoke night and get a response 🧍🏼 they don't do that. which isn't to say it's WRONG of them—i'm not saying they're being bad game devs by any means—but it's definitely a different way to handle game development compared to these other studios we follow.

that lack of fan involvement and information sharing is where the concern comes from, i think. at least on my part!

i mentioned count lucio earlier and i want to elaborate why. firstly, he's my favorite character of all time. i've been writing a fanfic for him for 2 years, and it's nearly 200k words (i'm taking a break from it rn). like i love lucio as a character so, so deeply. is it because of the arcana game? no, actually. it's because of the POTENTIAL his character has. it's because of what the FANS have pulled from him and shaped him into.

the arcana was on the app store. it had such strict rules about what it could and couldn't be. and yeah i can rant about how dumb nix hydra is for taking the mico-transaction phone app route, but my point in all of it is that the devs failed lucio. i think they fumbled a lot, with the other characters as well, but lucio was their watch mojo top 10 biggest anime fails of all time #1 spot.

his bad ending shows him as the new DEVIL and dictator of the world??? and we got to see none of that. his whole route woobified him to pieces. he's just a lil meow meow. he's Baby. he didn't know better. he just made some Oopsies 👉🏻👈🏻 uh oh!!

like he was the main VILLAIN of the story and they turned him into a manchild. the wasted potential of this guy is insane. and i guess i saw that and thought "i can make this motherfucker so much worse" and i did that and will continue to do that. so have his other fans. people have rewritten his route altogether because it was so unsatisfactory.

there's overlap from the arcana in the rss dev team. do i think touchstarved will be the new arcana? nope!!!! but am i also worried they'll play it safe because they think the fanbase wants conventionally loveable love interests? yeah. i absolutely see the concern. it's very real and very there. does red spring studio KNOW we want truly monstrous characters? do they? we're just hoping they do.

leander doesn't have to be just like cirrus. none of them have to be anything. but i do want them to be monstrous. i want to FEEL something the same way i feel something when cirrus orders me onto my knees. like not even in a kinky sexual way. i want to be shocked. i want to hesitate and think "what is this character doing right now? what will i do right now?" i want to be confused and shocked and pleasantly surprised and also horrified. i want the adrenaline high i got while playing cirrus's first chapter. it was like my cptsd was triggered in the best possible way (lmao).

and it's not even about that.

lost in limbo is more fantasy romance than it is horror (save for the goddamn voidbound holy fuck!) but i know that i'll enjoy the game anyhow because i love all the characters. why do i love all the characters? because the devs tell us about them. they don't even have to spoil the game. i know amon smells like chocolate and has a fake southern accent (HELLO?) and that ara can't sing. lost in limbo could be the corniest fucking game and i would still love it because i'm already so attached to the characters.

the reason i turned to lost in limbo and obscura is because my excitement for touchstarved waned. because there's just a once in a blue moon post and it's likely it'll just be a "backers have new updates!" post. which isn't said to shame rss or backers !!!! that's normal and fine and valid!!!! do that!!!! i just mean rss is BARELY giving us what we want. we're stranded in the desert dying and rss is trickling water droplets one by one to each of us. lost in limbo devs are pissing fresh spring water into our mouths at firehose speed. is rss bad for this? no. they're not doing anything wrong. but a natural consequence of their marketing strategy is that fans will move on. i still love touchstarved. i'm going to play it. i'm reblogging fanart and fanfics. i'm posing the mormon leander theory. like i'm still here and still very much active but touchstarved isn't on my mind the way lost in limbo & obscura are.

ravenstar games tells me gael would fail the trial in the tale of orpheus and eurydice and i'm like holy fuck??? holy fuck!!!!!!

would ais? would mhin? i don't fucking know.

and what about elyon and sen? i know they're DLC bonus LIs and they don't need to be fleshed-out as soon as the main LIs. they can be on the back burner until touchstarved comes out. this is fair. but what about them? we know nothing other than 1. elyon is rich because of brothel money and 2. sen is an undead warden? (like a prison guard? like the ppl who watch over vere? i don't even know that for sure) (we also know their flowers but that's barely anything). meanwhile lost in limbo is sharing info about cécile and lázaro as often as their main love interests. they're not forgotten about. i can't even make a mc for sen's route because i know nothing about her!!!!!! which hurts my heart because i love sen. i love the idea of sen. it's the first time a female love interest in one of these games is 1. my type but also 2. not exactly like me (ara i love you but we are twins).

they're impersonal. they are 2D concepts we try to fill out.

maybe rss will tell us the LIs go-to karaoke song after the game releases. or maybe they won't. but there are just so many benefits to sharing that kinda thing and bonding with your fans in that way. that's my whole point. it's not "i need a steady stream of touchstarved content pumped directly into my veins 24/7 or i lose all interest" it's not that!!!!! obviously not because rss doesn't do that and i'm still here. this is my most active blog! i'm having a blast here because the fandom is sick as hell. we're vibing, doing our own thing, and it's great. but rss feels very distant. they are the senobium and we are residents of lowtown wondering when or if things will ever be different. if we're going to have a good day (lore drop or new art) or if things will just continue on as expected.

to reiterate: this post isn't about how rss is doing something wrong or bad or that ravenstar games/rotten raccoons are sososososo much better than rss. rss doesn't have to do everything other studios are doing. that's not what i'm saying. this is just the reality of what rss is doing vs other devs and how i PERSONALLY feel about it. i love them i would literally strap a bomb to my chest and demand my loved ones' credit card info to disarm it for any of these studios/games. i am a fan and i'm hopeful and i want to trust in rss so so so so badly. i want the very best for them. i want them to create a great game and be successful. i want them to be creatively fulfilled and proud of their game. on their own time, their own way. really and truly!

[weast-of-eden]

I've been thinking about how I could contribute to the ACD/Granada Sherlock Holmes fandom for a while, seeing as I'm neither an artist, a writer, or anything actually useful lol. But then I realized something I myself always treasure are curated fic recs, which I could actually do! I've read probably like 25% of all the h/w ACD and Granada fics on ao3, so I compiled a short list for anyone who is just starting out with the fandom. Without further ado, may I present

Eden’s Top Picks for Beginning ACD/Granada Fics:

(edit: i made a second list here!!)

The Adventure of the Doctor's Heart by mistyzeo 12k | Rated E Summary: Holmes has observed much of Watson's habits and tastes over time, which is why it surprises him when his friend objects strangely to a folk song sung at the conclusion of a case. Disturbed by the Doctor's unexpected display of emotion, Holmes becomes determined to lift his spirits by any means necessary, with mixed results. Notes: obviously if you're going to read canonverse h/w, you are going to read mistyzeo. this one is just so good and angsty and features music (!!). it's got some steaminess but it also has wooing. basically it has everything you ever need. this is my odyssey, my iliad, my hamlet, etc.

Cameo by what_alchemy 8k | Rated M | For Archive Users Only Summary: Holmes and Watson become embroiled in a case Scotland Yard refuses to acknowledge. A soulmate AU. Notes: i honestly skipped over this fic for a while, since i'm not the biggest fan of soulmate aus. do not make the same mistake i did, because this shit HITS. this fic has hit after hit: soulmate-mark based case for our main duo, angst, hiatus feels, MORE ANGST, and ofc a happy ending. ugh. read this fic if you enjoy being happy.

A Tide That Does Not Turn by tweedisgood 3k | Rated T Summary: Holmes is a very bad patient with a devoted doctor who adores him. Watson wishes it was safe to speak up, but his friend is a tide that does not turn. Notes: do NOT read this if you don't like angst... ok now i'm sensing a pattern. anyways this is the first hurt/no comfort fic i read for this tag and i literally have cried more than enough tears over it. poor, poor watson :( iconic author though, read everything they write!

The Adventure of the Glad Outlaw by radondoran 7k | Rated T Summary: While Sherlock Holmes solves the mystery of a student's disappearance, Dr. Watson is more puzzled by the changing dynamic between his flatmate and himself. Notes: cute pastiche! a nice little mystery and a nice little get-together. ahhhhhh.... this fic is like cotton candy to me, so sweet and fluffy. defo recommend

Hands by MinorObsessions (draculard) 1.4k | Rated T Summary: Naturally, there are some things Watson thinks about Holmes that don't make it into the books. Notes: i'm also in the star trek fandom, so if you know anything about that then you know that hands are kind of A Thing in both circles and ergo i now Have A Thing about hands. so this is a nice little ode to holmes' hands, featuring some doctoring by watson AND a nice reverse appraisal at the end. it's so sweet :)

Conductor of Light by ColebaltBlue  1.4k | Rated T Summary: A Victorian stiff upper lip won't prevent you from falling in love, but it might prevent you from realizing it. Notes: they finally get their shit together! honestly i would recommend this fic to anyone just starting out with h/w fics in any medium. the characterization and dialogue is A1, and their argument is really realistic to me, idk. also features the iconic HOUN quote for its title so props to that!

A (Mis)fortunate Man by sans_patronymic 1.5k | Rated T Summary: December, 1880. Watson writes a note which may be his last. December, 1899. Watson writes back. Notes: READ THE TAGS BEFORE READING. this was a gut-wrenching read but god i cried at the end for watson. don't worry, this one has a happy ending. ugh now i wish there was a second chapter where watson lets holmes read the letters. to sum up: oof, my heart

The Second Smartest Man in London by FairSinner 73k | Rated E Summary: Dr John Watson returns from Afghanistan to Victorian London, wounded, traumatised and alone. When he meets Sherlock Holmes, his life begins to seem worth living again. But Holmes is a man who despises sentiment and Watson cannot seem to expunge it from his heart. Notes: congrats, you've made it to the end!! so now i must confess that it's been a loooong time since i've read this fic, but the private note i left on my bookmark was just "holy shit", so i'm sure it's a banger. i'm also sure it has angst because i love angst and i love bookmarking angst so i can read it again and again and suffer infinitely. enjoy :)

anyways, now that i've put these all here i realized how much i enjoy angst and hurt/no comfort fics. if any of you guys have a favorite fic you want to link or want to plug your own writing, feel free to!

[stoat-party]

Fallout 4: Where is the Lone Wanderer?*

*a vague conspiracy theory which doesn’t actually answer the question at hand. We all have our own ideas of how the lore should go, and I’m sure yours is very canon-compliant and valid, but this is mine and I have support for it. Looooongpost.

First off: What do we know about the canon Wanderer?

We know they activated Project Purity (or had a companion do it) without the FEV and were inducted into the Brotherhood. We know they’ve met with MacCready (you can’t finish the game if you don’t), and he has dialogue indicating they had further contact. They also took the Brotherhood’s side at Adams Air Force Base.

We don’t know what happened with The Replicated Man, but since the canon Wanderer appears to have good karma, and info from 4 implies Zimmer’s disappearance was more recent than ten years ago, it seems likely they took the boring ending, which secures their membership in the Railroad.

Why aren’t they in Fallout 4?

The Doylist answer is that they’re highly customizable, and so they have no canon appearance, personality, gender, etc. But in-universe? Something happened.

“Accepting outsiders like yourself has proven disastrous in the past.” - Kells

“I've seen other soldiers come and go. Some were brave, some were honest... hell, some were even downright heroic.” - Danse

“Every doctor I've talked to was worthless. [] I don't need them... I need someone like you.” - MacCready

When Duncan first got sick, “someone like you” would have meant the Wanderer. This suggests (to me) that they’re not in the Capital Wasteland anymore. But they’re certainly not in the Commonwealth either.

The weird thing is that the Lone Wanderer is all over this game - they’re the namesake for a male hairstyle, a perk, a DCR song, a motorcycle brand… and the codename of Deacon’s mission to save the Railroad from certain destruction by recruiting the Sole Survivor.

Someday We’ll Find It, the Deacon Connection

Oh yeah, I’m going here. Desdemona’s terminal entries confirm it was always Deacon’s plan to get you onboard and use you to destroy the Institute. There are Railroad lookout posts near 111/Sanctuary and Red Rocket, and of course he followed you in Goodneighbor, Diamond City, and Bunker Hill (at least). His court jester vibe hides it a bit, but he’s manipulating you more than he’s manipulating Desdemona in the intro scene. And do you notice he rarely gives you a firm verbal disapproval unless you’re hurting the Railroad?

What could have caused Deacon’s interest in you, unless he’s made the connection between you and the Lone Wanderer? He’ll vouch for you if you haven’t accomplished anything yet, or even if you’re a Brotherhood member. A Pip-Boyed stranger emerges from a vault in the middle of a crisis, gaining friends, skills, items, and special abilities at a suspicious rate? Probably with the same gender and playstyle as the previous one? Heck, when he first heard the rumors, he probably thought you WERE the Lone Wanderer.

There are other indications the Railroad has been in contact with them — Desdemona mentions the Capital Wasteland as their primary destination for synths, and Deacon references Harkness’s recall code. If you refuse to pick a codename, Desdemona even assigns you “Wanderer.”

So what happened, then?

I think the answer lies with the Brotherhood, specifically in Deacon’s hatred of them. Sure, ideology is enough to hate them for, but Deacon sure seems suspiciously happy if you nuke their base of operations. (Some of) his comments on that:

“The Brotherhood... well, I met them on an op in Capital Wasteland a few years back. But now with Elder Maxson... Let's just say, not a fan.”

“That bastard Maxson really screwed them up. The Brotherhood used to be the good guys. Well, goodish.”

[Who’s Elder Maxson?] “He’s a piece of work, is what he is.”

And on his time in the Capital:

“Did I ever tell you about the time I was in Capital Wasteland? Now there's a tale.”

“Capital Wasteland. Exports: purified water, some decent tech, oh, and an insane suicidal cult that worships radiation. Thanks, guys.”

“I miss Capital Wasteland. You can actually drink the water there.”

And a few lines I’ve decided (with no evidence) directly refer to LW:

“Last partner I had wound up going... well, a little insane. I think it was all my show tune medleys.”

[After Maxson orders you to hunt Danse down] “See? This is what the Brotherhood's really about.”

And my favorite: “I’ve been looking forward to kicking the Brotherhood’s teeth in. I owe them.” This line comes before Glory is killed, so he’s not referring to that. The Brotherhood only recently arrived in force in the Commonwealth. He’s talking about something that happened in the Capital Wasteland.

So Here’s What Might Have Happened:

In early 2286, Deacon moves to the Capitol Wasteland for awhile, probably to get a face change and lay low for a bit. He contacts the Lone Wanderer, who has barely heard from the Railroad in nine years. They begin to work together.

(In context, this journal entry looks like he’s somehow gathering intel to predict when Vault 111 will open, but I can’t think of a way for him to get that information or know why it’s important, so I’m not going to believe it just yet.)

The Wanderer is still a knight, maybe a paladin. Maxson has been elder for 2-3 years and is monitoring the Institute. Meanwhile, the Lone Wanderer and Deacon are setting up infrastructure to receive escaped synths.

And then the Brotherhood finds out about one of the safehouses. With their limited understanding, they believe that the Institute is holed up there and attack. The Wanderer intentionally throws the mission — maybe disobeys orders, maybe downs a vertibird or collapses a subway tunnel, or maybe even attacks their brothers to protect the synths.

And, well-

Either they were killed, or they escaped court martial and execution by a hair’s breadth and fled the Capital, leaving Deacon to believe Maxson had them killed.

There you have it. That’s why they aren’t in Brotherhood dialogue or records. Their accomplishments couldn’t be recognized because they’re a traitor. And that’s why it’s personal for Deacon.