#i've been playing soo much these last few days

[raiiny-bay]

unfortunately i'm obsessed with project zomboid again

[foolishlovers]

soo apparently, i've written over 400k words of crowley and aziraphale flirting and falling in love with each other this year

holy shit???

it's been a wild ride but i'm proud of the fics i've written:

only lovers in the building - 1.8k, T

at the q&a session for crowley and aziraphale's murder mystery podcast, their listeners seem far more interested in the unsolved mystery of their relationship than their latest case. it’s time to tackle one final puzzle.

out of the blue - 3.6k, E

while crowley braces for yet another goodbye, aziraphale is determined to stay and bestow his love upon the demon tonight.

wasting my time (chasing the high) - 3.7k, T

an exes to lovers fic in which crowley - while touring and playing music all over europe - needs to find the courage to talk to aziraphale again. 

where a canvas blooms - 3.8k, T

this is the first part of a series (that i'll hopefully continue in the new year) in which gardener!crowley and bookseller!aziraphale have a cuddling arrangement. and it certainly is just a platonic arrangement. right?

a lasting impression - 4k, T

crowley's dull shift at the pasta bar takes an unexpected twist when the charming bookseller from the shop around the corner drops by.

good game, good girl - 5.1k, E

footballer!crowley and coach!aziraphale aren't just discussing tactics in crowley's hostel room... ineffable wives body worship, basically.

third time's the charm - 6.7k, T

after the almost apocalypse, it seems crowley and aziraphale need a bit of a push to finally confess their feelings. mutual pining, a dowling era flashback and some (magical) hijinks and shenanigans.

the anon before christmas epilogue - 8.5k, E

florist!crowley and bookseller!aziraphale go on their first date after their mutual hatred has turned into mutual affection over the holidays.

spread you wings - 10.1k, E

an ineffable wives enemies to lovers model au in which a photoshoot mishap traps crowley and aziraphale in a studio overnight.

every part of me - 10.4k, T

a hannah montana au featuring genderfluid rockstar!crowley and his best friend aziraphale who has been kept in the dark about crowley's secret for a long time... until one fateful night.

lips don't lie - 12.7k, E

an ineffable wives enemies to lovers actresses au in which they're both invited to an exclusive lipstick launch. tensions boil over.

not where the storyline ends - 14.4k, T

crowley (cranky and overworked) interviews aziraphale (joyous and totally unqualified) for a position in the publishing house he's working at. crowley's sure their paths will never cross again, but christmas still has a few surprises left in store for him.

just up the stairs - 19.4k (of 39.1k), E

a valentine's day fic featuring grumpy!crowley and caring!aziraphale, harry (the most adorable rabbit), and a quiet, gentle and romantic dinner. 

something good and right and real - 30.8k, T

singer-songwriter!crowley and baker!aziraphale meet again when crowley returns to his detested hometown for a much needed break. featuring an abundance of autumnal activities, witty children and a second chance for love.

moonstruck - 31.1k (23.4k yet to be published), M

grumpy botany professor and single parent!crowley falls in love with cherubic bartender!aziraphale as he keeps visiting his favourite midnight café. meet-ugly turning into friends to lovers.

tales of turning pages - 73.4k, E

a small town au in which novelist!crowley and librarian!aziraphale fall in love as crowley keeps coming back to aziraphale's library. lots of (un)resolved sexual tension, found family and romance book recs.

wild hearts - 145.5k, E

a friends to lovers boarding school au in which biology teacher!crowley and english teacher!aziraphale team up to lead the school's new theatre club. featuring lots of pining, student shenanigans and a dearly beloved cat.

unpublished works - 20k

mix of oneshots and chaptered fics i'm still working on

i think it's also time to get a little sappy and review the writing experiences i've made this year...

(some of the) things i loved writing about this year: happy endings, anathema being a beautiful menace, gender fuckery and tons of trans characters, long-haired!crowley and bearded!aziraphale, librarians, authors and musicians, pepper, adam and warlock being mischievous little troublemakers, purple clothes, flowers and notes, sexually charged dancing scenes, aziraphale’s gorgeous thighs and tummy, crowley’s praise kink, taylor swift references, “ngk”, crowley and aziraphale being good with kids and bad at feelings, cosy cuddles and smart cats, all the sappy romance stuff and so so much found family. thank you to all the lovely and wonderful people who read my fics, who shared them on tumblr or with their friends, who gave kudos and wrote the kindest comments, making my days so much brighter and encouraging me to write more. and more. and more! every ao3 email and every tumblr notification is a blessing to me, it means the world to know that my stories are being read and enjoyed! and thank you to my writer friends who’ve continuously supported me throughout this entire year, who listened to countless voice notes of me messily attempting to plot fics, who made time to read first drafts and outlines during the busiest of weeks, who held my hand through writing emotional scenes breaking my own heart in the middle of the night, who supplied me with plenty of inspiration and laughter, who helped me fix many spelling/ grammar mistakes and the weirdest plot holes, who are always eager to hear about my next silly idea. again and again and again.

very excited to see where 2025 will take my writing 💜

[castiwls]

Omggg hii ok so I've always wanted a fic about what the readers and Castiel's conversation or just interaction in general would be. If the two were already in an established relationship and when Lucifer was possessing Castiel had gotten intimate or something with the reader, not knowing it was Lucifer and thinking it was Castiel of course. What would his reaction be and how would he feel. Especially since he probably had to watch the whole thing go down but could do absolutely nothing about it. How would the two make up and such. <3

this is me trying - c.n

Paring; Castiel x fem!reader

Synopsis; You and Castiel struggle with the aftermath of Lucifer

Warnings; Maybe occ

Notes; Hiii tysm for the request! I've truthfully not wrote for Castiel in soo long so I apologise if this is kinda occ.

Masterlist

“and maybe i don’t quite know what to say but I’m here in your doorway”

Taking a deep breath you leaned back against the headboard of your bed. The book in your lap no longer held your attention as you stared blankly down at it. You didn’t know how to feel about the events which have transpired over the last few days, at first you were angry and then that anger seemed to dissipate into an emptiness mixed with guilt. 

Guilt that you’d not paid enough attention to notice that for the past few weeks, Lucifer had been running around in your boyfriend's body. Playing it back in your head now you noticed the strange behaviour but at the moment you’d paid no mind. 

“Y/n. We need to talk.” Castiel’s voice brought you out of your head. He stood in the doorway a slight frown on his face. You knew exactly what he wanted to talk about but the whole situation still brought a bad taste to your mouth. He watched you for a moment before letting out a sigh and moving into the room. 

Sitting on the edge of the bed he turned to you. “I’m not sure what else to say other than sorry.” The angel looked down at his hands as he spoke. You’d never seen him look as regretful as he did now. 

“Why didn’t you say anything to me? We could’ve spoken about it Cas.” You placed your book to the side before crossing your legs. “I basically cheated on you, do you know how that feels.” You let out a sigh before reaching over to grab his hand. “I’m not angry at you, I just…I let him into our space, and I told him things thinking I was talking to you. I let him kiss me Cas, and it’s all I can think about.” 

In truth, the guilt had been pretty much eating you alive. The emptiness you felt now came from the fact that the guilt had seemingly taken everything else. He was quiet for a moment before squeezing your hand and looking back up.

His eyes met yours for a moment before he shifted slightly closer. “It’s not your fault what happened. It’s my fault I know that,” He frowned again going quiet. You knew from the look on his face that he was struggling to find the words to express how he felt. 

He had his own guilt over the whole situation. Having to sit back and watch someone else pretend to be him and interact with you in that way had left him feeling angry and helpless in a way he’d never experienced before. Seeing how it had affected you though was worse than any guilt he could ever feel. 

“I’m willing to work with you.” He finished after a moment. He smiled at you before squeezing your hand again. “Thank you.” You squeezed his hand back. You were both quiet for a moment before you patted the space next to you. The tension from his shoulders seemed to drop at your invite and he happily moved next to you.

This was the first time since Lucifer that you’d both been alone together. A sigh of contentment left you as you settled into his side. You knew things weren’t gonna go straight back to how they were. Castiel had still broken your trust by doing what he’d done but you also knew that he would do anything to regain your trust.

You smiled up at him before leaning up to press a kiss to his lips. A smile graced his lips as your lips met his and for that moment you allowed yourself to forget about the past few weeks.

[mitraoki]

Hi hi! I'd like to rq a Ken Sato x Gundam pilot (pilot of a giant war robot, similar to a transformer) reader, fem or gen if possible!

She's slightly older and used to work with the KDF but quit due to realising the problems KDF has caused.

OR! She could have worked for the Japanese army but due to a horrible accident during a mission she could've been injured badly and was forced to retire early.

Possibly low-key sassy and stoic personality that she acquired after years of working for the army, that undermine her politeness and sweet personality.

And if possible, can she wear an eye patch?

If you don't like this feel free to ignore :( But I really like this concept and your writing style so it'd be really nice to see it written out :)

Don't tire yourself out!

😧🪒😦 - Anon

hot and cold. (ken sato x gn! reader)

note; HELLO anon!! thank you soo much for requesting. this is a REALLY good background you've given me, i just hope i've done it enough justice for you🥹🥹please let me know of your thoughts about this! i always welcome feedback <33

as usual, requests are open!! refer to my rules for a better view on what i write (✿◕‿◕✿)

masterlist.

i would say that after ken's experiences with emi and bonding with his dad, he becomes more open to various possibilities. yes he's happy he's slowly recovering what he'd lost long ago, but there's definitely something in particular that's missing in his life.

he hasn't thought about love in a long, long time. back in america it was always crushes, or simple dates but nothing ever lasted longer than he wanted it to. ken sato hates cliffhangers.

you, on the other hand, weren't hoping for much. all your life you've worked - very obviously - as a tool for the KDF, but what good did it bring you except to push yourself away from people?? so you did, not wanting to be around people quite often, so much as to even isolating yourself.

after learning of your boss' potential demise, what good is there staying in an organization that left you completely shallow? gone was the need to remain in KDF, signing the very last paper regarding your resignation.

"i should get an eye patch," you muttered, staring into the mirror with a dull look. it was no news for the frontliners to experience heavy injuries, but you definitely did not expect one of your eyes to become completely dysfunctional.

it had only been a few days since your departure from the shackles when you just had to bump into the well-known, ecstatic baseball player, ken sato in a convenience store. purely out of coincidence, of course. squinting your eyes, you sent a nod his way.

"heard of you," you uttered, stretching your lips into a thin line as you headed towards the counter, paying for the stuff you'd picked out for dinner later.

....leaving the man himself completely speechless.

who were you? why didn't you say anything else about his plays? have you attended any of them? were you pissed that he wasn't playing to his full potential? and what was with the eye patch?

he needed to know more of you.

i'd like to think he'd ask more about you from mina, gaining as much information as he could about you. if you had any specific history, some kind of secret that he was yet to uncover. lo and behold, he dug far enough to find out you once worked with his enemy. emphasis on worked.

a shiver ran down his spine when he read those words. he didn't need to see it, but he could tell there was more to than what meets the eye.

"something the matter, ken?" mina questioned, her holographic screen dissipating.

"oh- how difficult do you think this is gonna be?"

"....i cannot give you a definitive answer, ken. i would depend on the way you'd choose to approach her."

and approached you he did. not exactly, but again. it was purely out of coincidence when he saw you sitting by the window of a quaint cafe, sipping on your favorite beverage.

"baseball boy?" you called out behind him while he was "trying his best to order his favorite drink." his words, not yours.

"fancy seeing you 'round here."

"yeah! well. you know me - super down to earth," he chuckled nervously, clearing his throat after.

but you can see just how bad he was suppressing himself from throwing the biggest questions he had for you. out of respect, you had hoped. nodding, you walked back to your seat after grabbing your long-awaited dessert.

that was - until - the same baseball boy practically begged to sit at the same table as you. there it was. one would expect the fan to do most of the questioning towards their idol, but in this case it was different.

you were no fan, and ken surely wasn't one himself. the KDF doesn't really have a good image going on, after all. it was the slight glimmer of hope in your heart that this man had a pure heart, just wanting to explore what he hasn't in this big, cruel world.

heaving a huge sigh, you gave in. this can go on. what's the worst that could happen?

and it did. for hours. hours turning into days. days turning into weeks. months. suddenly a year had passed, and you were now in his arms, being the little spoon you had desired for so long.

he hears story after story of yours. all the secret missions you'd gone through before resigning. the eye that you'd lost a long time ago.

ken sato was careful with your heart, soul and you. he cares for you like the world's most fragile glass, holds you in his arms like he might lose you the moment he lets go. he kisses every single scar of yours like he was silently acknowledging the sacrifices you'd made through the years.

and for the first time, you felt like there was some meaning. you needed to see this through. you wanted ken sato more than ever now. the way he smiles, the way his eyes glimmer when you tell him something new. the way he cups your face and reminds you of your worth.

it's mind boggling to know someone slightly younger than you has such a vast and mature mind, ready to accept you when no one else has. life had always been stagnant. you wake up, you face the days ahead. some conversations with or without you. unwanted noises that bothered you to the core.

it was just something about ken, his voice perhaps. or it could be the way he wants to listen. he chooses to listen even when he doesn't understand, because this man would do anything in the world to be in yours.

"i don't know what the others have told you, y/n. but in my eyes, i can keep them on you forever and i'd never grow tired."

and those were the words that left you speechless, the fresh warm streak of tears flowing down your cheeks. it was such a rare sight to see someone so stoic, so persistent break down. but even then, ken sato was there to hold you tight, whisper soothing words into your ear and pepper you with endless kisses.

you'd grown absolutely smitten for this man, and i would say you'd never regret a single moment with him.

all created content belongs to mitraoki. reposts/remakes are not allowed.

[prodbyton]

the way you LITERALLY READ MY MIND WITH THE PERV!SEUNGHAN YOU WROTE???? like, i had "perv!Seunghan = 24/7 hornball; "i need you right now"" jotted down in my notes 🧍🏾‍♀️ kinda crazy how you looked into my brain, but i love it!!

recently, i've been giving perv!Anton maybe a little bit too much thought. i already decided that it had to do with taking pictures bc DUHHHH 🤪 Anton loves taking pictures of you. all. the. time. you don't mind bc you love posing for him (foreshadowing :D). any time you're together he takes at least 40 pictures of you and usually sends them immediately so you can keep your insta current.

you dressed up for a little morning date in a cute and maybe a little short skirt, but you two ended up spending the whole day together. it was so late you decided to stay over. he was distracted by whatever he was doing on his laptop, and you had to beg for the pictures he took (like full-on send it to me Rachel!! 😫). he tossed his phone to you without missing a beat.

you open the photo gallery and just before you tap the first picture of yourself, you see an album with a puppy. it was so cute you thought "oh, maybe Anton has a whole album of cute animals!" you tap it and immediately your jaw hits the floor. the first photo was a shot right up the skirt you were currently wearing. you quickly composed yourself and continued to scroll. there were so many pictures of your ass and cleavage, it made your head spin. and the occasional shot of your bare pussy from the hot nights you slept in only one of Anton's shirts didn't go unnoticed. you eventually sent the clothed pictures of yourself to your phone and acted like nothing happened. that's when the constant posing started.

you started wearing skirts and dresses more and dropping things more often. every time you get up after bending over, Anton's ears get so red. one day you decided to give Anton the special treat of a short skirt paired with no panties. when you did your usual extended bend-over, Anton very quickly excused himself. he damn near sprinted to the bathroom. you followed him because why not.

you stood outside the bathroom and could faintly hear him whisper to himself something along the lines of "i shouldn't keep doing this. she'll be so mad at me". the whispers soon turned into moans whimpers and the wet sound of Anton fucking his hand. you stood there the whole time just listening. this was probably the hottest moment of your relationship that didn't last long enough. the door swung open and he was so red in the face when he saw you. his eyes were wide and watery as he searched for something to say.

-🎀 (i am once again asking the universe for a man who is obsessed with me and is Anton)

im glad we’re on the same page abt perv hani, but i lowkey wanna hear your thoughts now 🙈 but thats just cuz seunghan makes me crazy

PERV ANTONNNN im doing backflips. been waiting for this one fr 🫦 but ugh he’s definitely the type to sneak pics. he has you and everyone fooled with the dog as the thumbnail trick so no one would suspect a thing. but you’re just a girl and if you see a photo album with a cute animal on it ofc you’d click on it :/ but then you see what your boyfriends been doing behind your back and you don’t know what to feel.

any normal person would be disgusted, it was perverted and just nasty to put your take photos of your girlfriends panties under her dress/skirt, using his height to his advantage so he can get better cleavage photos, keeping his phone by his side to get various shots of your ass, all behind your back. but you can’t help but be a little turned on. your boyfriend was so obsessed and attracted to you that he felt like he had to sneak to get a few panty shots.

i think if you gave him photos of your body he would appreciate them soo much, but something about sneaking them and getting them during candid moments just made the photos sexier for him. he even has his live photo setting on so he can play the 2 second clip of you bending over while he’s jerking off.

you had already found out about his little secret, but when you decide you wanted to catch him in the act you knew you had to think of a plan. when he sees you outside the bathroom door you play it off as you were just checking on him since you needed to go after him, and he tries to calm his racing heart from the idea of being caught.

it’s not until later when you ask for his phone, an innocent request and it’s not like he would ever hide his phone from you. you said you just wanted to play games on his phone while he watched whatever was on tv. he wasn’t even thinking about moving his little folder into his hidden before handing you his device, but he didn’t think you’d be going into his photo library if you were playing games.

after a bit, you open his camera and start taking selfies and this shouldn’t be an issue, anton loves when you do this, he loves having photos of you in his phone, but he was so nervous of you opening his camera roll. he got tense, suddenly wanting his phone back and you raised a brow at him but ignored him. you played it off by saying you wanted to look back on the photos you took so you could send them to yourself. now he’s praying that you dont notice that one specific folder when you open the photos app.

but you do. and anton feels like he’s going to throw up.

“you have a folder of animals? thats so cute how come you never send me these?”

“it just slipped my mind i guess…” he chuckles nervously and runs a hand through his hair, and then everything hits the fan the second your finger clicks on the icon.

all the photos he had of you in compromised positions, up your skirt, down your shirt, and just full on naked photos of your weak body after you two had sex was on display. you pretended to be shocked, like you hadn’t already discovered the folder some days ago, but anton was a mess trying to explain himself. strings of apologies leaving his lips and he’s basically on his knees begging for your forgiveness. you just cup his face in your hand, rubbing soothing circles on his cheek with your thumb.

he looked super hot like this, so pathetic under your touch begging for you to forgive him and to not think he’s some sick pervert. but you reassure him that it’s okay, and he can continue taking all the pictures he wants of you.

[pjisskullourful]

𝓼𝓽𝓪𝓲𝓷𝓮𝓭 𝓼𝓱𝓮𝓮𝓽𝓼

➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶

🌼Damiano × reader

part 29 [series masterpost]

NSFW 🔥 filthy horny playtime for adults only

° Damiano David/female reader insert

wordcount:: 9,015

° request from my shopping star anon: I was doing some thinking on how to make a sexy situation without having to do it riskily/near other people right, then I saw THIS. Sex JENGA. Now, hear me out. [...] Write stuff on Jenga tiles, leave a few blank then mix them up. Make a tower without looking at the writing [...] it gets progressively sexy ;) and you gotta see how long you can last before it leads to hot desperate sex bc both are horny mfers who are being teased [requests are soo fucking open!][but commissions get priority- book one here]

° lyrics stolen from britney spears

You stirred awake as you rolled over in the bed, your eyes cracking open a little. Immediately something caught your interest - a bright rectangle beaming light directly onto your boyfriend's face. You moved closer to him, glancing up at the window to try to orientate yourself in this rented room. The world outside was still dark, in stark contrast to the phone Damiano was staring at.

You had to concentrate to regain your bearings, bringing the hours before you had fallen asleep back into focus. Christmas night - Damiano and his family had still been awake and enjoying their shared time together when you had retired for the night. You had been feeling sluggish after eating too much of the dinner Damiano and his mum had made. But the others had remained in the festive spirit, reminiscing and laughing.

There were no sounds coming from the other side of the shut door, leading you to believe that you had been asleep for many hours. You felt rested as you started to come into awareness more-and-more.

You got Damiano’s attention by resting your hand on his chest as you moved in closer. “What time is it?”

“Two.” He replied as he began to wrap an arm around you.

You paused from snuggling into his side, lifting your head as your eyebrows jumped up. “Why aren’t you asleep?”

“I don't know, I couldn't find any sheep.” He said.

You were perplexed, wondering if you hadn't heard him properly. You lifted your head from the pillow, turning your bleary eyes to the screen of his phone. The layout and colour scheme looked familiar, he was just playing Alchemy Stars, nothing out of the ordinary. You had never played the battling game yourself, but so far as you knew (and according to what he had mentioned in the past) there were no sheep included. What would their place be in the RPG?

“Sheep?” You asked.

He took his eyes off of the screen, looking at you with a little smile developing on his lips. “Yeah, there were no sheep for me to count, how could I possibly fall asleep?”

“Oh.” You said and you shook your head. “That kind of sheep. But aren't you tired, baby?”

He locked the screen and started to put his phone aside. “Well I thought I was…” He rolled over, facing you and you found a good reason to pull yourself further out of your slumber. “But then I've been laying here and just not falling asleep. I guess I'm not done with the day yet.”

You scooched in closer, the tip of your nose almost touching his. “Is there anything I can do to help you fall asleep?”

“Do you know where I can find some sheep?” He asked.

“I would definitely have to Google that.” You said.

He started to stroke the tips of his fingers against your cheek. “What if we were just awake together?”

“Okay.” You said with a smile.

There was a familiar kind of stirring inside of you as he moved to close the distance between the two of you with a kiss. His fingers continued to caress your cheek while his other arm slid around you. Your bare chest was brought to his body, feeling a warmth greater than the comfort of the blankets.

“You fell asleep pretty fast, huh?” He asked.

“Yeah, my tummy was all full and there were no other presents left for me to open, why would I stay awake?” You replied.

“I'm not surprised that you were asleep by the time I got up here. But I thought you might have stayed awake for a bit and spent some time thinking about your little assignment.” He said, the dim light from outside showing you his face.

You knew exactly what he was talking about, there was only one assignment. It was something he had thought up, it went along with a gift he had bought you. This was one of the gifts that you had opened in your room, a handful of items that there shouldn't be an audience for the unwrapping of, strictly for you and your boyfriend.

Sex Jenga - you didn't know how he had found this item. It was a version of the stacking game that came with modification stickers. There were blank rectangular stickers that you needed to write on before placing them on the individual pieces.

Your assignment was to plan the sexual prompts, each tile needed a different risque action. You weren't sure that you could come up with fifty-four sexy ideas. The instructions had come with some examples but you didn't like all of them.

“Honestly it didn't even cross my mind, ‘cause it's not like we're on the verge of playing it. We can't play it while we're in a house full of people.” You said.

“Actually we could, we would just have to play the quiet version.” He said.

“What, like right now?” You asked.

“Yeah, are you busy with something else?” He replied.

“Why don't we do the assignment together? And we do it lying down just like this? ‘Cause you might end up getting sleepy, in the process you could find those sheep.”

“Okay, if that's how you wanna do it.” He said.

“You're gonna be better at this than me because you're not half-asleep like me.” You said as you rolled over and started reaching out for your phone.

“It's not a competition, kitty. We're working on the same list.” He said. “I’m not expecting you to force yourself to stay awake. Look, put your head right here…” He patted his covered pectoral. “And you can drift off again if you need to.”

You relocated your head from the pillow to his chest, his closest arm draped around you. You kept your phone in your hand, triggering the screen to re-illuminate. “No, I think I’m probably more likely to stay awake now.”

“Great. Well, I have one rule…” He said before he paused, a thoughtful look on his face. “Actually, two rules.”

“Alright, what are they?” You asked.

“No pussy suggestions.” He said.

“What, so what am I supposed to do, just write cock worship for every block?” You asked, disbelieving.

“No, no, no.” He said, starting to laugh a little. “I meant no wimpy suggestions. You can make as many about pussy as you like. But it’s a dirty game, don’t give me a bunch of tame ideas. Don’t write something like kiss my neck, something like that should become: give me a hickey.”

You nodded as you opened a blank document on your phone. “Alright, I’ll only write stuff that I would do just in private, or Ethan’s backyard.”

“That’s the spirit.” He said. “The next rule is that we both get vetoes.”

“Great.”

“You will have five, and I get…” You looked up from your phone when he paused, and you found he was smiling more broadly as he watched for your reaction. “Ten.”

You were almost too surprised to contain yourself. “What?”

“Hey, I thought you didn’t want to make too much noise.” He playfully chastised you, squeezing you tighter momentarily.

“How is that fair?” You asked, making the effort to keep your voice low again.

“I’m the Daddy, I have extra responsibilities, therefore I’m entitled to extra benefits.” He said. “Do you see the fairness in that?”

You made a show of pouting. “Yeah, I guess.” You took your eyes away from his gloating face, looking back at your phone, with your thumbs poised for typing. “Can I put give a hickey on my list?”

“Sure, but don’t leave out that idea you had for cock worship.” He said.

“Well I just wasn’t sure what time limit to put on that. Obviously there needs to be one because you would be down for hours of that. But what’s too long and what’s too short?” You asked.

He nodded, looking more thoughtful again. “You’re right. Because this is about the tease, we don’t want to push it too far and have the game going for a ridiculously long time. Let’s say ten minutes is the absolute maximum- anything longer than that, we should just ditch the game and call it sex. How about nothing shorter than two minutes?”

“That sounds good.” You said, entering these parameters into your phone. “Sounds fair.”

Your list started to grow and you were feeling less sleepy by the second. You found that the ideas flowed once you tapped into the inspiration of thinking about these activities in relation to your boyfriend. You imagined things you would want to do to him, and the ideas began to multiply almost effortlessly.

But the trick was to not give the fantasy too much time. If you dedicated too much time to the image, then it could have an effect on you that went beyond mere distraction.

The beating of your heart got a little more noticeable. You squirmed even closer to Damiano and began caressing your foot against his leg.

Thinking about how things would feel could really get you going, which you needed to avoid. You didn’t want to get so turned on before the game had even begun (all of the blocks were still neatly packed away). He would surely take delight in teasing you over how quickly you got turned on.

He seemed pleased with your progress when you provided an update. He didn’t take issue with any of the prompts that you read out. He helped you determine how many cunt spanks. You weren’t surprised when he said your idea of cockwarming should have two stickers - one for five minutes, another for a ten minute stretch.

He shared some of his prompts with you. There was taking the other player’s underwear off and performing a short strip tease. He had included ice play, which you simply had to veto given the current season.

There were the occasional duplicates, both of you interested in the same idea. When it came time to combine your lists, you agreed to let some prompts show up on two stickers. Making out was the kind of thing you would happily do more than once.

The sky outside was still primarily dark when you finished the master list, despite the hours that had gone into the activity. He wasn't any closer to falling asleep. You didn't think you would be able to drift off again until your thoughts came to a satisfying conclusion.

You didn't discourage him when he got the box open and started to write on the provided stickers. You dressed yourself in your pyjamas and set off to get some water from the kitchen.

When you returned (shutting and locking the door behind you) it was to find him setting the tower up.

“Now you’re gonna know where each block is.” You stated. “The game is gonna go exactly how you want it to. Is this another one of your Daddy extra benefits?”

He added another level of blocks to his tower. “You are really over-estimating my memory.”

“You remember all of those song lyrics.” You said.

He made a face. “There are several compilations on the internet that would argue the truth of what you just said.” He carefully stacked three more tiles. “I shuffled them up as best I could and I’ve been adding them with the stickers facing down so that I’m not seeing where every exact block goes. I haven’t been trying to rig it, or whatever.”

“Okay.” You said, sitting down on the edge of the mattress so that you could watch him getting closer to a completed, seventy-five centimetre tall tower. You couldn’t see any of the stickers, giving his statement complete believability.

“Were there any signs of life out there?” He asked about his family member’s current activity.

“No, it seems like everyone is still tucked in.” You said.

“It’s almost as if they’re too far away to hear anything that we do in here.” He said.

“Yeah, yet.” You sarcastically responded, speaking quietly as you lifted your glass to your lips, having another drink.

“So what’s your final answer?” He asked. “Are we gonna play, or should I indulge the masculine urge to destroy something five seconds after completing it?”

“No, don’t destroy it. We can play.” You said and you moved to join him on the floor, sitting opposite him, the tower between you. “Let’s see if there is a quiet mode for this game.”

He depleted the scattered pile next to him by placing the final three blocks in their uniform spot at the top. Then he looked at you, wearing an encouraging smile. “I think you should go first, because it’s your gift.”

You considered the neat tower, with all of the stickers out of sight it looked like you were about to partake in a regular and innocent game. You had no idea what you were on the verge of uncovering. You reached without trepidation, your eyes set on a block at the side.

You got it free without any threats to the structural integrity of the rest of the tower. You turned the piece over and found his handwriting - the innocence of the game was immediately dispelled.

You licked your lips as you showed it to him, reading it. “Receive oral for two minutes.”

“Fuck yeah, starting with a bang.” He said.

You laid the tile carefully across the top, starting a new level. “Am I supposed to count or something to keep track of the time?” He kept a safe distance from the tower as he started to move toward you, crawling on all-fours. “Because I don’t know how specific I will be with that. If you’re giving it to me really great, I might forget what order the numbers should be in.”

“Aw, babygirl might get a bit dumb?” He asked. “It’s okay, we’ll use a phone timer, that can help us to not get so carried away, hm?”

“But not too loud.” You insisted.

He rolled his eyes as he stopped and fetched his phone from the pocket of his sweatpants. He began tapping his fingers across the screen. “It won't wake anybody up. I'll show you.”

He set the timer for a few seconds, the tone coming clearly through the speaker of his phone. He let it trill a handful of times before hitting the button to silence it. He looked at you as you waited. You listened as carefully as you could, ready to hear even the slightest stirring.

But it didn't come. The bedroom that the two of you were in was positioned the most separated from the other bedrooms. The noise from his phone couldn't carry the distance to his family members, it seemed.

“Okay? How about you tell me who's always right?” He asked, moving in to get so close to you.

You smiled, your cheeks heating as you let those paranoid thoughts go, no longer letting them slow you down. “Daddy is.”

“Mm-hmm.” He said, his nose bumping against yours before his eyes moved down. “Seeing that options about taking clothes off are still in play, I guess I'll just sneak these cute pants and panties down to your knees for only a minute.”

“Sounds good.” You said, changing your position so that you were resting on your knees.

You draped your arm around the back of his neck, stealing a kiss. He kept kissing you, not needing to look at what he was doing with his hands. He secured the waistband of your printed p.j bottoms and your panties in his grasp at the same time, taking them down together. You had altogether stopped trying to hear anything beyond this bedroom.

The home’s central heating kept you from feeling a terrible chill as he got these parts of your body uncovered. You moved, placing your ass down on the floor.

He considered you with a hungry look, before getting distracted by picking his phone up again. “Okay, two minutes.” He set the timer and put the phone aside, you put your eyes on him instead of paying any attention to the countdown. He bent down and moved his head between your thighs. But he spoke instead of letting you feel his mouth instantly. “Kitten, you’re- how long have you been wet?”

You huffed impatiently. “Don’t go wasting my minute with talking.” You began playing with his short hair as he brought his face right up to your pussy. “You’re on the clock, I’ll do the talking.”

He complied, letting you feel the swirl of his tongue at your entrance. He pushed it briefly inside before swiping up, setting your clitoris as his focus. Your eyes fluttered shut as you sank into this intensity. Your blood rushed into this area as he alternated between kissing and licking the hood.

“I guess that wetness has been building up.” You said as he continued at this dazzling massage. “When we were making the list, I was being a good girl and concentrating on the task Daddy set for me. And stuff like two minutes of sixty-nine isn’t an abstract concept. Thinking about all of it had an effect on me, I’m only human.”

Your fingers glided between his short strands of light hair. The persistent work of his tongue had you feeling the spread of an enticing heat beneath your skin.

Your legs started to feel like jelly when the sound of the timer reached your ears. You bit into your lower lip, feeling like you needed a bit of extra help to keep you from swearing. You couldn’t let him think that it was beyond you to take this teasing, not this early into the game.

You felt him move away and the timer was halted, but you kept your eyes shut. You took a pause before letting this moment end. You acknowledged the new feelings inside you, a different kind of energy rushing your veins. It wasn’t enough to intoxicate you, not yet.

“Alright, my turn.” He announced.

You opened your eyes, finding that he was facing the tower, with no interest in helping you fix the position of your pants. You covered yourself up again, your desires shrinking enough for you to concentrate on other things.

He picked out one of the tiles. “Give a sexy lap dance.”

“Ooh, very nice.” You said, keenly rubbing your hands together.

“You have to let me play music for this, just give me one song and I will play it extremely low.” He said as you got up, going back over to take a seat on the mattress. “It will be awkward if I try to do it without music.”

You kept to yourself your disagreement with him thinking that he could ever look awkward while doing a sexy dance. You just nodded as you got comfortable, legs dangling from the side of the bed. “Alright, one song.”

He got to his feet, his eyes down as he used his phone. You had some guesses for which song he was going to pick.

“It's going to be a fully-clothed sexy dance?” You asked. “‘Cause it's not the strip tease block, we haven't gotten to the clothes off bricks yet…”

“It's good, this way I know you'll be paying attention to my dance moves ‘cause you won't be distracted by looking at parts of my body.” He said, prompting you to roll your eyes.

The electronic beat started to play from his phone, softly, barely any louder than the two of you had been talking. You weren’t surprised when Britney Spears’ voice joined the music.

‘Hey, over there, please forgive me…’

He dropped the phone onto the bed beside you, freeing up his hands for the dance. He smiled, his lower lip held between his teeth as he shimmied his shoulders, stepping closer to you. He parted his legs so that he could stand directly in front of you, his legs on the outside of yours. He bent forward, at the same time grabbing the back of your head. He brought your face flush to the centre of his chest, shimmying as if he could motorboat you. This made you giggle as you played along, shaking your head.

‘Wanna whisper in your ear, make it clear, a little question…’

He propped one of his feet up on the bed, directly beside your ass so that his thighs could be spread even further. He started to roll his hips, a smooth and rhythmic thrusting into the air directly in front of you.

“Yeah Daddy, give me those Magic Mike moves.” You said, giggling less now.

He slightly pulled up the bottom of his shirt, letting you see the trail of hair that led down to his pubes. “I’m gonna do moves that make Magic Mike look like Basic Michael.”

‘...would you hold it against me?’

“I feel like they do a lot of shit like this…” He said as he put one of his hands on your shoulder to help support himself.

He stopped those smooth rolling of his hips, instead he jutted into your face, then back-and-forth. The thrusts had a more aggressive quality, as if he were demanding your attention, rather than just encouraging it.

With his crotch filling the majority of your vision, you couldn’t help noticing that beneath the fabric of his pants, you could see the movement of his cock. You could see the way the shaft bounced and swung, it greatly interested you.

“Yeah, they get stilted with their super-macho-ness.” You said.

‘I want more, wanna see it. So I’m asking you tonight…’

He quit doing his little impression so that he could spin around, putting his back to you. He bent forward, his hands going to his knees as he put an arch in his back. Then he started to bounce his elevated ass, going in time with the relentless beat as all of your attention was secured.

‘So if I said I want your body now, would you hold it against me?’

He backed up until he could place himself almost in your lap. This was when he threw his ass even higher into the air, making you giggle when it almost smacked into your face. He was undeterred, gyrating smoothly through this slightly slower part of the song, leading to the breakdown.

‘And show me how you work it out…’

He sat down on your lap, now grinding himself on your thighs. You felt the friction between you as he grinded back-and-forth, so close to you, but not lingering.

He picked up one of your hands by the wrist, putting it where he wanted it. He placed your open palm on his pectoral, then started to gradually guide it down over the material of his shirt. At the same time he was doing some body-rolls, all of his movements measured and sensual.

‘’Cause you feel like paradise and I need a vacation tonight…’

He was dragging your hand closer to his crotch, the rest of his body in constant motion. You wished you could be writhing with him, getting carried away.

But you were very aware of the time limit, refusing to let that slip from your mind, no matter how good he felt. You heard the music beginning to fade out and he slowed his movements before stopping altogether.

He stayed in your lap as he fetched his phone, stopping it from playing another song. You wrapped your arms around his middle and took your chance to give him some kisses on his neck.

“That was great. You can always hold your body against me.” You said.

He chuckled as he started to stand up. “Thank you. Maybe I’ll pull that tile again later and you can have an encore. Your turn, kitty.”

He knelt down next to the tower and you resumed your spot on the ground, your cheeks feeling a little warmer than before. You made a calculated move as you went for a new tile, nudging one out from the middle spot. You got it free, leaving the rest of the tower undisturbed.

“Receive five spanks.” You read aloud, when you looked up, you found him grinning widely.

He changed his position, taking his ass down to the ground. He crossed his legs in front of himself, patting his thighs. “Get across Daddy’s lap. Now, the fact that you’re still wearing pants should muffle the sounds of the actual spanks. But when it comes to the sounds that you might wanna make… I guess I’ll just have to put my hand over your mouth.”

“Good thing you’ve got a solution for everything.” You said, starting to move toward him.

He continued to smile until you turned so that he was no longer in your line of sight. You moved your body over his legs before you lowered yourself down. Your chest and tummy rested on him, and you arched your back. He reached around, placing his fingers over your lips, holding firm. Immediately you liked the way this felt, needing no control.

This was a position you would have been more than happy to stay in. Your heart was fluttering as you tried to prepare for the first strike, you were so excited.

Then his palm collided with your asscheek and your breathing halted. Warmth bloomed into the pit of your gut and you were certain there would be new moisture coming into your panties. If you had been totally alone, you would have moaned to show him how pleased you were. Instead you boosted your butt up higher for him.

You felt his hand near your ass but the sharp collision didn’t come, he had a question first. “Should I do five overall, or five spanks per cheek? So then we could have an even number…”

With his hand still firmly over your lips, you didn’t have much chance to respond. But it seemed he didn’t truly need your opinion because you were soon feeling the next spank.

The noise was muffled, the sharp and crisp snap replaced by a dull thud. But it felt just as effective as it always did. You could tell that he was putting so much of his strength into the strikes and you were certain that beneath the fabric your skin would be filling with rosy colour.

The third and fourth spanks were delivered to each cheek. Your eyes fluttered shut as you awaited the fifth spank. There was so much more you were craving. You wondered where the tile with pussy spanks written on it was in the tower.

He gave you another powerful slap, then seemed to stop. He was content with this odd number, letting out a contented sigh as he relaxed the hand that held your mouth.

“I’m very impressed by how quiet you kept yourself. I’m a little surprised, actually. Good work, baby.” He said.

You accepted that no further spanks were coming and started to move yourself out of his lap. You could feel that your heart was still racing a little as you braced yourself with your knees on the ground. “Thank you.”

He gave you a kiss that was over way too fast before he put his attention back on the Jenga stack. He picked out a new tile as you settled in the spot next to him.

He was getting up in the same second that he had added this tile to the top of the tower. He narrated as he grabbed the waistband of his pants. “Take your underwear off- finally we’re losing some fucking clothes in this game.”

You waited to start your next turn so that you could watch. He took the sweatpants off entirely, then pulled his briefs down. As soon as they were removed, he got the pants back on. You could give his cock a very brief, visual assessment before it was covered again. There wasn’t much stiffness to notice - you would have to remain patient for the time being.

You picked the next tile, finding the potential key to getting him erect. He was sitting next to you and you showed him the sticker as you read it. “Give a rim job for six minutes.”

His eyes instantly lit up. “I was hoping that one would come up before the tower got knocked over. Do you want me to get on the bed, or I’ll just lie down where I am?”

You placed the tile at the top of the stack. “If you’re comfortable here, you can stay as is.”

“Easy.” He said and he grabbed his phone before starting to move. He repositioned until he could get his chest down to the floor. He laid down mostly flat, taking a moment to bring his pants down, exposing his ass for you. He got the material around his knees, giving you access only to what you needed.

You got yourself down, lying some of your body over his legs. You braced yourself with a hand on each buttcheek as you bowed your head lower. You gently eased the cheeks apart, revealing his hole. It was a pleasing sight and you were ready to focus all of your passion on this target.

You began by spitting onto it, your aim ensuring it landed practically perfectly. This made him immediately flinch, his head raising.

“Oh! I was gonna ask you to tell me when you were ready for the timer to start.” He said.

You considered telling him that you were indeed ready. Instead you showed him, applying your tongue to his hole. You moved it up-and-down across his opening, spreading your saliva further in this intimate crevice.

“Alright, it’s set.” He told you.

You warmed the area some more by guiding your tongue up-and-down a couple more times. Then you trained the tip of your tongue to his hole, swirling it around repeatedly, appreciating the taste and texture of this natural ring.

You held his cheeks firmly apart and started to see how much of your tongue you could get into this tight area. Beneath you, you felt the muscles in his legs tightening.

He let out a shaky exhale. “Eat that asshole up like you fuckin’ love it.”

You were so happy to know that you were having such an effect on him, it inspired you, making you want to see what other reactions you could draw out of him in this way. You sank your tongue in a little deeper and he lifted his hips from the ground, pushing more of his ass into your face.

You held his cheeks so firmly that your fingernails started to press into his supple skin. You curled your tongue up, taking it up to the roof of his hole. You began massaging this spot thoroughly, wanting to make him overcome by delighting tingles.

“Babygirl…” He whimpered, the tone of his voice brought butterflies into your tummy.

He reached back with one hand, grabbing for the back of your head. He didn’t need to worry about you retracting, you were having too much fun for that. The way his asshole fluttered keenly against your tongue was making you feel more-and-more proud of yourself.

You began to bob your head a little, giving him more motion to enjoy. He let out a low, happy hum in response to this progression. Your lips pushed against his hot and wet skin, then eased back. But you were soon going forward again, burying yourself into him so gladly.

“Fuck, you’re makin’ it real hard to care about this game.” He said. “I’m so tempted to cancel the timer and just let you play around with your tongue ‘til you find that g-spot and it gets fuckin’ impossible for me to not cum all over this carpet.”

You swirled your tongue inside of him, wanting to indicate to him that you were interested in continued exploration.

But the timer began to ring, interrupting you from going any further. Before you could follow through with your idea to just keep going, his hand left the back of your head. It was clear that he wanted to proceed with the game as he started to lower his hips back down toward the ground.

He laid flat as he noisily tried to catch his breath. “That got me… I was seein’ stars.”

You licked your lips as you sat up. You were feeling powerful, there was a swell of accomplishment inside of you.

“It’s your turn, Daddy.”

He sighed before slowly starting to make the moves to lift himself from the floor. He wiped a hand across his face, it sounded like he hadn’t yet fully caught his breath. Before his dick could be covered by his pants again, your keen eyes did another quick assessment. Now he was definitely hard, which made you feel even prouder.

Seemingly he didn’t want this to disrupt the game because he promptly pulled his pants up to their earlier position. As soon as his cock was tucked away, he put his attention back on the tower. You admired how his length stretched out the front of his pants for an extra moment, or two. You refocused when he began to read aloud.

“French kiss for four minutes.”

You instantly got closer to him, trailing your hand up his thigh. “But who makes it French?”

He added this new tile to the top of the steady stack. “You were just working your tongue, why don’t we give it a little rest?”

“Okay.” You agreed as he set the needed timer.

Then he turned to you, smiling as he brought his hands up to either side of your face. You were smiling as well, you could feel the tension that was between the two of you - you were so keen to break it.

Your mouths met, both of you holding your lips apart straight away. Lips quickly collided before you felt his tongue, moving forward without hesitation. At the same time his thumbs caressed your cheeks, which were filled with giddy heat.

Your hand was resting high up on his thigh and you were consumed by temptation, thinking about how you could easily escalate this situation. It was a little ridiculous how easy it would be.

But that would go against the point of the game. You knew that if you wanted to remain in a position where he would call you good girl, you couldn’t try to assume any control. If all he wanted to do was French kiss, then you wouldn’t do anything more.

You just caressed your fingers against his thigh, instead of reaching your hand any higher. You got your other hand further away from his dick by wrapping your arm around his middle.

The consistent massaging of his tongue against yours was wonderful, it was inviting you to surrender and just melt for him. Your sense of time passing got lost as you just enjoyed feeling so close to him.

You were just as unhappy to hear the trilling of his phone’s timer this time around. Maybe he was feeling something similar because he didn’t instantly conclude the kiss. He kept his mouth on yours as he took one of his hands off of your face. He retracted his tongue, changing his approach to cover your mouth with kisses. As you tried to match his speed, he silenced the ringing.

You were getting a little short on breath as he slowly brought an end to these kisses. He drew back after giving your lower lip a suck.

“Your turn, pet.” He said as you began to open your eyes.

You were reluctant to move away from him, but you did it. You hoped to pull a good block, something that would add to the intimacy.

“Grind on your partner’s ass for nine minutes.” You read before you looked at him, checking for his reaction.

“Saucy.” He said. “I figure we can both take our pants down so that it’s more fun than dry humping.”

“That sounds great.” You said, adding to the top of the Jenga stack.

You were getting excited by the thought of getting stimulation directly on your cunt. With his phone in hand, he laid down, flat on his chest again. He pushed his pants down to just above his knees and you did the same, taking your underwear down too (it was even damper than before).

“I’ll start the timer when I feel your pussy on my skin.” He said and you agreed.

Your head was rushing with anticipation. There was already a quiver in your cunt as you thought back to occasions of grinding on his thigh. With how much you were already turned on, you wondered if an orgasm could be secured, if the right technique was employed.

“What are the, like, rules? I don’t wanna do it wrong.” You said, holding yourself back from straddling him yet.

“There are no rules- well, just that you have to stop after nine minutes. But you can grind however you want, however feels best for you.” He said.

You licked your lips as you nodded. “Right.”

You lifted one of your legs, passing it over him as you shifted your body weight. You kept yourself balanced with your knees on the ground on either side of his hips.

“Oh yep, that’s a very wet pussy.” He said in response to you lowering yourself to sit on his butt. “You’ve been really enjoying our game, haven’t you kitten?”

You leaned forward, putting the pressure on a different part of your crotch. “Mm-hmm, it’s heaps of fun.”

You put your hands to your labia majora and eased them back, then you pushed your exposed clitoral hood onto his skin. It was immediately receptive to the pressure and you smiled, pleased by this beginning.

You could stimulate yourself even further by thrusting your hips, testing out how much you could move. The pleasure radiated out to more of your body, making you want to press harder. You put more of your strength into your motions, quickly rewarded and feeling like you wanted to melt even more.

“I said there was no wrong way to do this, but I think you've found the exact right way to do it.” He said. “Keep having heaps of fun for me, yeah?”

You rocked your hips faster and harder. “Yes, Daddy.”

You didn't care about the time limit, you had no interest in holding yourself back. Your thighs clenched against him as you rode the waves of pleasure higher.

When you got an idea you didn't pause, wasting time on consideration. You simply started to bounce yourself on his ass, creating quick collisions that had you feeling more sensitive. You couldn't help the quiet whines that came with this.

“Oh, are you a bunny now? Bouncing around back there.” He observed.

“It’s almost like when my Master spanks my clit. But not as good.” You said before another whimper slipped out of your mouth. “But it’s still very good.”

You switched back to grinding before you could tire yourself out too much. You enjoyed this more sustained pressure on your clitoral hood and the warm tingles it made you feel. You grabbed for a handful of his shirt as you kept dragging your clitoris back-and-forth across his skin.

“You’re practically painting on me with all that cum.” He said and it was true that his butt was getting quite slick in your claimed path. “I’m gonna make you clean your desperate mess off of me with your tongue.”

“I’ll do it.” You said immediately.

“Yeah, I know you will.” He said.

You felt his body tense beneath yours, but you were too concentrated on your own tempo to put thought into what he was doing.

But you started paying attention when he arched his back to push his ass more firmly into you. This was followed by him matching your rhythm. He rocked back into you, giving the activity on your clitoral hood even more impact. You could feel how it rattled you, deep down at your core where it was inescapable.

You latched your other hand onto his side, gripping him here as your need became all-consuming. You gave everything to your rutting, trying to not slip off because your body was screaming out for the pleasure to continue.

“Do you like grinding on that ass, you needy little toy?” He asked. “You’re so desperate to get off and so fucking turned on, all without Daddy even touching you. I can go back to playing my game and you would probably come anyways.”

He picked up his phone and you saw Alchemy Stars on the screen again. There was something tantalising about having him partially ignoring you. You didn’t know why it appealed to you, making your heart thump harder in your chest.

You started to experience unpredictable twitches in your limbs and you acknowledged the pressure in you to simply fall apart. Your chest swelled as you relentlessly rolled your hips, the motion carried through to his body.

“Please, please…” You whispered between your ragged breaths. “Can you please pause the timer, please? Don’t let it- please pause it before it-... please?”

“That’s kind of going against the point of the timer, my little toy.” He said.

You huffed but you didn’t let your tempo suffer, you were going to keep at it for as long as you were allowed, drawing nearer to the release. “No, I know, but, please? I think I could come and- please?”

“Here I was thinking that you wanted to play a fair game.” He said, the teasing in his tone as appealing as it was frustrating. “And pausing and manipulating the timer definitely takes some of the fairness away.”

Again you acted on an idea without fully thinking it through. As you kept riding his butt, you looked to your side and how far the tower was from you.

Not too far, so you stuck your foot out. It connected with the stack and, with a loud noise, the Jenga tiles went flying. You managed to knock over all but the bottom two levels, smiling at the outcome - game over. He stopped writhing, but you weren’t willing to yet.

“Okay, I lost, now we can fuck.” You said cheerfully.

“God, you really are desperate, aren’t you?”

You put your hands up to his shoulders, instantly holding so tight. “Yes, please fuck your desperate kitty, Daddy.”

“Yep, we will.” He said and you stopped moving finally, wanting to conserve some energy. “But not on the bed.”

You began climbing off of him. “That’s fine.”

He propped himself up a little and pointed over to your carnage. “You’re going to lie down there.”

You walked on your knees across the floor, going to where the majority of the blocks seemed to have landed. Once close enough, you swept your arm out, pushing the tiles out of the way.

He interrupted before you could get most of the mess cleared. “Hey, when did I say you could move those?”

“But isn’t this where you told me to lay?” You asked.

“Yeah, you’re going to lie on top of the tiles.” He said and you just stared back at him, waiting for him to admit this was a joke. Instead he added to the idea. “You don’t get to sabotage the end of the game like that and just escape all punishment. That was naughty of you, toy. So take your punishment and lay on the tiles.”

You decided to take on his challenge. You didn’t think the discomfort would be a problem for very long - getting fucked was sure to be a strong enough distraction.

You grabbed the bottom of your shirt, taking it up and over your head, showing him just how willing you were. As he watched, you started to take your pants and underwear off.

You were feeling a little unsure, but also excited, this was the emotion you chose to show. You moved, lifting your butt. You got yourself closer-and-closer to the ruined stack, until you had no choice but to lower yourself onto it. You watched over your shoulder, seeing the disarray getting nearer.

The firm ridges pressed into you, at all different angles and in so many different spots. But you didn’t let that discourage you, putting more of your weight onto the blocks. Their edges dug into your skin even more, hints of disbelief in his expression at the sight.

You laid back, fully giving your body to this strange and unfamiliar feeling. On top of the uneven surface, you got yourself as flat as you possibly could. There were some gaps in the arrangement of blocks where your skin rested against only carpet - for an inch or two. But it wasn’t enough respite for you to feel comfort, you put the luxury of feeling comfortable out of your mind for now. It was the reward you could earn.

He ditched his shirt as he came closer. In the way he was looking at you, you could tell that he was impressed, and that felt better than lying on any bed. He looked at the space in front of him, making sure he didn’t put either of his knees down on top of the pieces. Meanwhile you focused your eyes on the front of his pants, his stiff dick straining against the material.

Before getting any closer, he pulled them down and you got to see his boner bounce free. Your breath came in quick as you watched him take the pants off, and keep them off.

He took a pause, looking at the assortment of tiles around your legs. He picked up some, tossing them out of the way so that no part of his body had to go on top of them.

He got himself positioned in between your parted legs and began to lean down. “Do you still like your Christmas present?”

“Mm-hmm, thank you for getting it for me, Daddy.” You said.

He started to climb on top of you, forcing you even harder into the rigid Jenga tiles. But you didn’t make any complaints, gladly letting your mouth become preoccupied with kisses.

You drew some comfort from how good his body felt on yours, enjoying that uninterrupted feeling of skin on skin. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders as your tongue teased at his lips.

He began grinding into you and you were rushed with a sense of gratitude when you realised there was no timer on the verge of going off. There wasn’t any holding the passion back now. Your body was dominated by his, his moves purposeful and increasing the intensity.

You held onto him tighter when you felt his tip stretching your already aching pussy open. All of your excitement and those building sensitivities finally had focus.

He whined in response to your tongue coming into his mouth. You explored along the roof of his mouth as he eased more of his length inside of you. Quivers of anticipation started at your core as his hips drew nearer to yours. Your walls parting perfectly to accommodate him.

Feeling him buried in so deep brought a needy moan from you, it happened before you had the chance to worry about controlling your volume. With how receptive your pussy was, you didn’t really have the space in your mind to spare a thought for the world beyond this bedroom. Concerns that had felt so big and present were so easily dwarfed by the promise of more pleasure.

He brought an end to the kiss. And before you could possibly plan your next move, he placed his open palm over your lips. You opened your eyes as he kept his hand here.

“You’re very worked up. So I’m gonna hold my hand right here to keep you from getting carried away and embarrassing yourself, okay?” He said.

You nodded your head. He used his other hand to brace himself, placing it on the floor. Then he started to experiment with his range of motion, rutting into you, without much urgency at first. As he put more power into his movements, your body shifted, making the tiles move and drag a little. They clattered against one another, creating a strange kind of music.

He found the right way to move and the pumping of his hips gained consistency. He worked at a quick rhythm, your inner-walls fluttering in response to the stimulation.

You took your legs away from the rigid blocks, gaining a little relief by wrapping them around his waist. The rest of your body continued to experience the uncomfortable sensation, you were sure your skin would bare the marks of the tile’s edges for a few hours.

As you swung your hips with him, he was able to move deeper. You felt his swollen tip rubbing against your walls, taking your excitement to the next level.

It didn’t take long for you to match his tempo. You lifted your hips up higher-and-higher, getting your ass away from the hard Jenga pieces as well. It also served the purpose of giving his every plunge into you more impact.

You were making more noises behind his hand, a quiet whining as each thrust felt better than the last. You had started to shiver, getting truly overrun with these Heavenly sensations.

There was a different tone in his voice when he spoke next, but he was still in control enough to keep the volume low. “Letting me fuck you on these blocks ‘cause you’re just so fucking needy.” You nodded your head, eyes wide as you beheld the determination on his face. “I like it when you’re needy…

“It suits me really well…” He said, snapping his hips down harder between your legs. “‘Cause Daddy can take care of your needs better than anyone else ever could. And Daddy loves taking care of you, even when you’re naughty.”

His rhythm raced ahead of you, taking you by surprise. You were too floored by his energy to know how to match him at first. You kept your hips in motion, squirming through this escalation.

Now he was fucking into your g-spot, making you want to fall apart from your core. Your eyes rolled back, your release seemingly so close.

“Always gonna take care of you.” He said before his head dropped, resting on your shoulder as all of his energy went to that relentless snapping of his hips. “Always.”

As you stared up at the ceiling, stars came into your vision, changing the appearance of the paint. You wanted to plead with him to let you have the orgasm. But with so many other things demanding your attention, it was hard to think and you couldn’t figure out how to do that with his hand still held over your mouth.

“Always, alw…” His word transformed into a whine, a desperate sound just for you.

His next strokes into you were accompanied by a feeling of extra heat in your cunt. He was starting to unload, more cum drawn out of him with every movement.

You started to disappear into your release, overcome beyond anything else. You soared, forgetting about the tile’s edges making your skin sting in certain places. You were flooded by only pleasurable sensations as you writhed between him and the Jenga pieces.

“Okay, okay, okay…” He said, sounding a little breathless as he took his hand off of your face and rocked his body weight back. “Get up from that shit, I can’t believe you-...” He sat back on the ground and grabbed for your hands.

With his help, you sat up, the tiles noisily shifting beneath you, digging in anew. But you weren’t paying the feeling much attention, not while you were still feeling the giddiness of your orgasm.

You climbed off of all of the uneven blocks, going to the safety of your boyfriend. You placed yourself in his lap and he put his arms around you.

You looked back over your shoulder. “Did I fuck up any of the stickers?”

“Oh my God, I do not even slightly care about that right now. I just need to make sure you’re okay.” He said.

You turned your head to look at him, but he had already extended his neck, his head held so that he could look at your back. “Of course I am, what are you talking about?”

“The blocks didn’t hurt you too bad?” He asked, his fingers hovering near the short lines scattered across your back.

“No, it didn’t feel good, it sucked, actually. But it wasn’t so bad, it wasn’t getting-a-tattoo level of pain.” You said.

“Okay.”

You readjusted and put your hands up on his face, directing him to look at you. “I promise that I’m fine. That was a lot of fun.”

A smile began on his lips. “It was, wasn’t it?”

In the echo of all of that energy, you stayed attached to one another. You discussed each of your favourite parts of the scene, its effects could still be felt through your body. You told him which tiles you wished had been pulled and he reassured you that a follow-up round would be played once you were home.

Your request for aftercare was very simple: sleep. He agreed that he was feeling quite tired now, willing to give falling asleep another attempt. There were no more complaints about having no sheep to count.

The relief that you felt when your body reached the mattress was a little unreal. The comfort flooded you immediately and you were so grateful as all of those bad sensations fled from you.

You were the little spoon and he turned the lamp off, no longer needing to look at the temporary marks on your back.

Your eyes travelled to the nearby window and you lifted your head from the pillow. “Shit, the sun is literally starting to come up.”

“Shh, just close your eyes, you won’t even see it.” He said and he placed a hand over your eyes.

»»————-　♡　————-««  

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[sequinsmile-x]

Hi. I watched bloopers and Thomas Gibsons laugh made me think what would be Ems first reaction when she hears it. Like Hotchs laughing but laughing like thaaaat she’d be sooo in love. Maybe you could write something about it :)

hiiiiii

soo, I have had a couple of asks along these lines and I've been waiting for inspo to strike so I could hopefully do this prompt justice, and last night this came to me!

I really hope you like this <3

-x-

Symphony

Emily reflects on how much she loves Aaron's laugh.

-x-

Warnings: Daddy issues if you squint. So fluffy in parts I recommend you floss afterwards

Words: 4k

Read over on Ao3, or below the cut

The first time Emily hears Aaron laugh she’s still relatively new to the team. 

He doesn’t quite trust her yet and she knows it, but he’s not as standoffish as he once was with her. He’s slightly more relaxed, and she can, if she looks closely enough, see a future where she would feel like a fully-fledged member of the team. She’s still convinced that he’s a complete hardass, unable to see what Haley sees in him, her few interactions with his wife making her question how got together in the first place. Her smile and sense of fun misplaced against what Emily thinks she knows about Aaron. 

When she looks back on it, she chastises herself for not looking below the surface. For not looking beyond the facade that was so clearly carefully constructed. Fun and happiness and softness buried beneath a tough exterior, only visible to those who cared to look. A scowl that was painted on over a smile that makes her stomach flutter in ways she chooses to ignore. 

It’s a late flight home, an awful case left behind them that had led to days of too much coffee and too little sleep. Despite the exhaustion that lingers in the air around them they are too wired to rest. Derek suggests poker, a pack of cards always in his bag, and they all agree to play. Aaron reminds them they can’t play for money, that the jet is federal property, and she sees an edge to his smile, a hint of the dimple carved into his cheek, that she hadn’t seen before. Spencer suggests they play for snacks as he pulls packets of pretzels out of his bag and they all agree.

She laughs as Derek gets increasingly irritated that he’s losing, his eyebrows furrowing as he loses hand after hand, his competitive side shining through. He growls as he throws down his cards and Spencer pulls the snacks towards him, a smile on his face. 

“Are you going to keep losing or shall we just give up?” Spencer asks, and Emily laughs, shaking her head as she settles back into her seat.

“Are you even old enough to gamble?” She asks, chuckling when Spencer glares at her. 

“I’m old enough,” he grumbles, “Plus, I grew up in Vegas,” he shrugs as he shuffles the deck, “Most games are just math.” 

Derek groans and buries his head in his hands, “How do I always forget you grew up in Vegas and that you have the ability to make anything sound boring?” 

Aaron laughs at the pure dejection in Derek’s voice, his head thrown back slightly, and for a moment Emily wonders how often this exact scenario had played out before she joined the team. Then his laughter washes over her, the sound completely different to what she would have expected. It’s light, almost melodic. Goofy in a way that makes her have to suppress a smile, her lips pressing firmly against each other as something deep in her gut flips, warmth spreading through her veins. 

“Prentiss?” 

She only realises she’s been staring when he says her name, and she clears her throat, shaking her head as if to rid herself of a spell, “Sorry, yes?” 

He frowns, his eyebrows pulling together in a familiar way, “Are you ok?”

She nods, flashing him a smile, “Yeah, I’m okay. Just tired I think.” 

He looks like he doesn’t believe her for a moment, but he simply nods in response, “It’s been a long day.” 

“Yeah,” she says, smiling at him once more before she turns her attention back to the game, “it’s been a long day.”

When she looks back she knows that’s when it started.

___

The first time she makes him laugh like that is after he’s been attacked by Foyet. 

She’d made him chuckle before, a sound caught in his chest as she made a wry comment within his earshot, but she’d never made him laugh. It was a rare sound anyway, something that broke free when he couldn’t control his amusement, but even rarer lately. The strain in his eyes, the tension in his jaw, ever present from the moment he’d sent away Haley and Jack. It makes Emily ache, makes her wish she could do anything to give him even a second of relief, a flash of happiness in amongst the despair his life had fallen into. 

Ever since she’d found him in the hospital she’d felt a need to protect him, to know where he was at all times. The concern that Foyet would come back and finish the job something that kept her up at night, her eyes fixed on the ceiling in her bedroom as she counted down the minutes until it would be deemed reasonable to check in on him. It was one of the many reasons she’d volunteered to drive him to and from work when he came back, because it meant she could channel all the nervous energy she couldn’t put a name to into something that was useful. A way she could show how him much she cared.  

“What is the point of this?” JJ complains, pushing pasta dough back and forth on Dave’s countertop, “I can just buy pasta.” 

“No friends of mine are going to get away with not being able to make their own pasta,” Dave says, raising his eyebrows when Emily rolls her eyes, her pasta dough abandoned on the counter, her focus split between her glass of wine and Aaron who was standing next to her, an amused smile skirting across his face. “You given up there Bella?” 

“Yes,” she says, taking a sip of her wine as she looks at him, “I’ll make sure I think of you the next time I snap spaghetti noodles to fit them in the pot.” 

Her smile widens when Penelope and Derek chuckle, and Dave sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose as he leans on the counter.

“È come se fossi circondato da idioti,” he grumbles, grabbing his glass of scotch, and Emily hides her smirk behind her glass.

“It’s like you forgot you’re not the only one fluent in Italian. And that the word for idiot is idiota, even Derek could translate that one.” 

“Hey,” Derek exclaims, cutting off Dave’s reply as he looks up from his pasta dough, his eyebrows furrowed together. 

Any response she has lined up for Derek is lost, forgotten as Aaron laughs, loud and bold and beautiful, and it makes her heart skip a beat. He shakes his head as he kneads his pasta, “She’s got you there Dave.” 

Dave rolls his eyes, but Emily sees the spark in them, the way he briefly looks at her, his smile giving away that he was pleased his friend was happy for a moment, even if it was fleeting. Dave waves his hand at them all and leaves the room, heading for the wine cellar. 

“We need more wine to get through this,” he complains as he walks away, “I’m not cooking anything else for you Emily so if you don’t make your pasta you’re going hungry.” 

She scoffs and shakes her head at him before she looks back at Aaron, her teeth sinking into her lower lip when she sees he’s still smiling, his laughter still lingering in the air around them. She looks at her abandoned pasta dough and she sighs. 

“Emily?” 

She turns to look at Aaron, smiling when their eyes meet, her stomach swooping as she tries not to get lost in them, “Yes, Aaron?” 

He’d asked her to start calling him Aaron when they weren’t working, a show of friendship after she’d taken him to and from work for weeks. The shared commute slowly turning from sad, sorrow-filled silence to passionate debates about what music they should play, his smile present but shaky when she made fun of his love of The Beatles.

“You can share my pasta if you want,” he says, his voice low so only she can hear him, the others distracted by Penelope and Derek getting flour in each other’s hair, “I made extra just in case you gave up.” 

She’d never be able to explain why, but that’s what clicks everything into place for her. Pieces falling into place as she realises she was in love with him, that his offer of sharing his food, his admittance that he’d made more than he needed with her in mind, made her realise what had been in front of her for weeks, months if she was honest.

She was in love with him, and she was sure he felt the same way, but she couldn’t do anything about it.

Now wasn’t the time, she knew that. He was just about hanging on. All of his focus on getting Jack back, on making sure he caught Foyet so his son and Haley could come back from wherever they were. It wasn’t the time, but she could be his friend. 

She smiles and nods, clearing her throat to push the love back down it, letting it burn her on its way back down. 

“I’d love that.”

___

The first time he laughs at her is a couple of weeks into their relationship. 

He’d become her best friend and confidant since she’d returned from Paris. His awareness of her survival, of what it had taken from her, one of the many things that had bonded them together. Over time she realised she spent more of her spare time with him than she didn’t, evenings and weekends spent with him and his son, the taste of a family they gave her slowly becoming her new normal, a vague promise of what she could have when she found solid ground again. 

She’d felt them circling more than friendship for weeks before they took the final step. Longing glances lingering a little longer, both of them so in love with each other they didn’t know what to do with themselves. It all came to a head when a cop asked her out and she turned him down, not even thinking about it as she denied his request to go for dinner. Emily hadn’t thought anything of it until Aaron had shown up on her doorstep that night, his hair a mess from where he’d run his fingers through it, a tell that he was nervous.

When he asked her why she’d turned the cop down, her only answer had been to close the gap between them and kiss him, her hands on his cheeks, thumbs pressing into the dimples she’d thought about every day in Paris. When she broke the kiss, pulling back for air, he smiled at her, his hands tangling in her hair as he pulls her back in for more. 

She yawns as she walks into her kitchen, the material of his shirt, the one she’d picked up from her bedroom floor, skimming the top of her thighs as she stretches. She checks the time on her watch and sees it’s 2 a.m., groaning as her stomach rumbles again. They’d gone for dinner, Aaron’s gaze locked on her as she purposely ordered in French because she knows it riles him up, and then came back to hers, barely through the door before they were all over each other. She vaguely makes a mental note to make sure her underwear is actually inside her apartment and not in the hallway outside, and makes her way to the pantry to make a snack. 

He’d made her buy food, his arms wrapped around from behind in the aisles of the grocery store, encouraging her to actually have more than random condiments and take-out menus in her kitchen. She settles on making toast, pulling the bread out and slipping two slices into the toaster. She leans against the counter and yawns, stretching again and smiling at the pleasant soreness settling into her muscles. She knows she’ll find bruises on her skin in the morning, a temporary tattoo of his love, his desperation for her, alongside ones that were already fading. 

It was everything she’d always imagined it to be and more, his attention to detail, his concentration, clearly not something he only had at work. It felt like a lifetime ago that she’d ever questioned what Haley had seen in him, and she guesses it might as well have been. 

Emily wasn’t the same woman she used to be. Her grave may have been empty, but part of her had died. Rotten and decaying away as every day passed in Paris, her old life in tatters around her. She used to think that would be the thing that would drive her away from here, from the family she’d found. That her need to try and be who they wanted her to be, a square peg in a round hole, would make the place she’d once called home unliveable.

Then Aaron happened. His understanding and kindness the bedrock she started to rebuild her life on. He had no expectations of her beyond telling him the truth. No desperate need to make her be who she used to be, because he knew that wasn’t possible. 

He wasn’t the same person he used to be either. 

She thinks it’s why it works, why she can already see them going the distance. They understand each other on a level no one else could. 

She’s snapped out of her thoughts by the smoke alarm, and she jumps, cursing under her breath as she sees smoke rising out of the toaster. 

“Fuck.” 

She releases the toast from the toaster, wincing when she lifts up the smoking slices, dropping them onto the counter when they burn her fingers. She grabs a dishtowel and waves it under the smoke detector, growling in frustration when the noise continues. 

“Em, is everything okay?” 

She looks up just as the alarm stops to see Aaron running into the room, his hair askew and pulling his boxers up, walking over to her when he’s got them on.

“Yeah,” she grumbles, throwing the dishtowel down and looking forlornly at her burnt toast, “I was hungry.” 

He looks back and forth between her, the burnt toast, and the still open loaf of bread on the counter, and he smiles, a clear attempt to smother it failing as he looks back at her. 

“You almost set your kitchen on fire making toast?” He asks incredulously, raising his eyebrow, and she answers with nothing more than crossing her arms over her chest and looking down at the ground. His response to laugh at her, a full-bellied thing that has her looking up at him as he closes the gap between them, any irritation at him fading away at the familiar sound she loves. He wraps his arms around her, his hands on her lower back.

“It’s your fault,” she complains, wrapping her arms around his neck, her fingers trailing through the short hair at the base of his head, “I was distracted thinking about you.” 

He smiles and leans down to kiss her, his lips gentle against hers at first before he deepens the kiss, his hands shifting from her lower back to grab her ass. He grasps at her thighs, hauling her up onto the counter, tasting her surprised squeal as he places her down.

“In that case,” he says, kissing her again, “I should make you something to eat,” he says, kissing her cheek, then her jawline, “Maybe something better than toast,” he pulls back to look at her, “Pancakes?”

Emily bites her lower lip as she smiles at him, pulling him closer by hooking her leg around his back, “I’d like that,” she says, stamping a kiss against his lips, sighing as she loses herself in the feeling, “Or…we could have pancakes after.”

He smiles, his hand sneaking under the shirt she was wearing, his skin scorching against hers, his lips against her neck, “After sounds perfect.”

They never do get around to making pancakes.

___

When she finds out he hates his laugh, she feels like she needs to defend him - even though it’s from himself. 

She’s sitting on their couch waiting for Aaron to put Jack to bed, and she is watching a video on her phone. It’s from a recent event at Jack’s school, a parent race where the kids picked one of their parents to join them in the three-legged race.

Jack had chosen her. 

It was something that still took her by surprise sometimes, the thought that she was someone's parent. That she could love someone as much as she loved Jack, and it took her aback that Jack felt the same way. That she’d stepped into that role in his life and he’d not only accepted it, but encouraged it. Seeking her out when he needed comfort, always looking for her when they were all in a room. 

As soon as Jack had asked her to join in on the race with him she’d looked at Aaron, desperate to make sure he was okay with it, and all he’d done was smile.

It was only afterwards, celebrating their victory, that she realised Aaron had filmed the race on his phone. She smiles as she watches it, her and Jack moving in tandem with their legs tied together, looks of concentration on their faces, the soundtrack to the event Aaron’s delighted laughter from behind the camera.

She hears Aaron groan from behind her and she pauses the video, turning to look at him, totally unaware when he’d made it downstairs from putting Jack to bed. She smiles as he rounds the couch to join her, his arm automatically wrapping around her shoulders as she leans into his side. 

“What’s wrong?” She asks, not missing how he grimaces when he sees what she’s watching, “I love that video.” 

“I do too,” he says, kissing her temple, “I just wish the only thing you could hear wasn’t my goofy laugh.” 

Her smile fades as she hears the derisive tone of his voice, how he scowls slightly, and she locks her phone before putting it down, turning all of her attention to him. 

“Why?” She asks curiously, linking their fingers together, smiling at the sight of her engagement ring on her finger, still blown away by it all these weeks later. 

He shrugs, “I hate my laugh,” he says, “It’s awful.” 

Her eyes go wide and she pulls back, putting some space between them so she can look at him properly, “What? Why?”

He sighs and she knows once he would have shrugged it off, he would have said it was nothing, but they were well past that. Honesty one of the cornerstones of their life together, the thing that everything rested on. He smiles tightly at her and shakes his head.

“My dad he…” he trails off and clears his throat, and not for the first time she finds herself wishing she could bring a man she’d never met back to life just so she could kill him herself, “He always said it was stupid. That no one would ever take me seriously,” he shakes his head, “I don’t know…I guess I’ve always just thought it was goofy.” 

She waits for a moment, carefully choosing her words before she sneaks even closer, all but in his lap as she places her hands on his cheeks, forcing him to look at her, her smile soft. 

“Honey, it is kind of goofy,” she says, holding his head in place when he tries to look down, “But that’s why I love it.”

Aaron’s eyebrows knit together, “Really?”

“Really,” she confirms, smiling at him, “It was the first thing about you that I fell in love with,” she says, her smile turning into a smirk, “Well, after your rugged good looks of course,” she feels joy stir in her chest when he smiles at her, unable to fight it anymore, I actually remember the time I heard you laugh for the first time.”

“You do?”

She nods, humming as she settles in closer, her head on his shoulder, tilted up so she can look at him, and one of his hands sandwiched in between both of hers. 

“It was on the jet, we were on the way back from an awful case and we were playing poker for snacks,” she smiles as she thinks about it, “Spencer was winning and Derek-”

“Derek got competitive and annoyed he was losing,” Aaron finishes for her, tucking some hair behind her ear with his free hand, “He made a comment about forgetting Reid is from Vegas.”

“You remember?” She asks, and he nods, turning to kiss her forehead.

“I remember. It…” he trails off, his cheeks turning slightly pink as if he was embarrassed by something. 

“What?” She asks, looking at him curiously, smiling softly when he stays quiet, “You can tell me anything, you know that.”

He sighs and nods, “It was the first time I really thought about how beautiful you are,” he admits, clearing his throat, “I felt awful because I was still married to Haley, but you were smiling at something and…you just looked beautiful.” 

She wonders how he makes her fall in love with him more every day, how he finds new ways to draw her further in, and she fights a smile, her cheeks aching with it when she fails.

“I love you,” she says, knowing it doesn’t even begin to explain how she feels about him. 

“I love you too,” he replies before he leans in to kiss her, “so much.” 

They lose themselves in each other, both of them wondering how they got so lucky.

___

Their son laughs just like Aaron, the three-year-old a carbon copy of his father through and through, often making her wonder how she’d managed to give birth to her husband’s clone.

She remembers the first time Elliot laughed, how it had blown her away, fixing months of sleepless nights and sore breasts and tears in one moment. He was four months old at the time, the sound indistinguishable from any other baby laughing as Aaron sneezed,  the sound apparently amusing to the tiny baby, but it didn’t stop it from being the most beautiful sound she’d ever heard. Driving her to tears that she’d been susceptible to ever since he was born, Elliot joining his father and older brother on the list of people who could break down all of her defences. 

His laugh changes as he grows, turning into something new as his personality continues to emerge, and it’s a sound she tries to draw out of him at any opportunity. A level of innocence she knows she’d kill to protect 

The first time he laughs like Aaron is just a normal Tuesday, another day in the ordinary life she never thought she’d have. The life she loved beyond words. They were in the living room after dinner, Jack sitting on the floor with his younger brother, playing with him, and Emily and Aaron on the couch, snuggled together as they shared a glass of wine and watched their sons. 

She’s smiling at something her husband has said when she hears it, a smaller, higher version of Aaron’s laugh coming from their 3-year-old. She looks over and spots Jack tickling his brother, drawing the sound from Elliot. She looks back at Aaron and she knows he’s made the connection too, his eyes fixed on their little boys, love shining in his eyes, ready to spill out onto his cheeks. She places her hand on his thigh and squeezes, smiling when their eyes meet. 

“I’ve always told you he’s a mini version of you, and now he even laughs like you,” she says quietly, her smile widening when he places his hand over hers, linking their fingers together. 

“Yeah,” he replies, sounding breathless, emotions she can see written all over his face clogging his lungs, “He does.” 

She knows that for the first time, he hears the same beauty in his laugh that she always has. 

-x-

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[marsosims]

Hello! I've been super busy finishing up requirements for school... Today's the last day for the submission of requirements and I've been rushing to do them and submit on time, but I've been struck with a bout of procrastination, and I thought I'd participate in simblr appreciation day!

(under the cut because it's surprisingly long [that's what she said...])

I don't really have any particular people in mind but that's mostly because I cannot remember every single person and I would feel bad about forgetting anybody,,, ANYWAY! here's some appreciation to:

The people who make CC and mods - y'all make this game bearable and I genuinely cannot live without them so I am very much thankful to all of u ily all (except the permawallers)

The people who make those CC and mods POSSIBLE - the people over at s4s and all the other tools like s4castools, as well as the tutorials they've made over the years have been INVALUABLE to the community and I just wanted to recognize them and say thank you <3

The people who reblog CC and mods - I feel as a creator, I've always been very appreciative of people who reblog my content because it genuinely helps me out to have my content spread to a wider audience. On the flipside, as a consumer, I'm also very appreciative of these people because I LOVEE discovering new creators that I've never known before who make literally the best items out there and AAA i'm just so happy

The people who download and play with said CC and mods and create the most beautiful sims, stories, and builds with them - as a creator, I honestly feel very giddy whenever I see people use my cc or even my mods. I know I don't generally reblog (because I usually forget) but I genuinely appreciate all of you! Thank you so much! All of the sims and builds I've seen with my CC have been incredible and have been truly inspiring <3 The stories and edits that I see on my dashboard (or when I stalk people on my activity dashboard IM SORRY) are honestly amazing and I LOVE to see it!

Of course, the people who play vanilla! - whatever type of gameplay you make, whether it's vanilla or with a shit ton of CC and mods, I love to see it! It's so refreshing to see how differently people use the same game to create such a diverse community! Vanila players, however, I have SOO much respect for. You guys are the strongest soldiers out there. I am weak to the temptation of custom content. Always have been.

The people who made this a thing! - this has honestly been one of the best things I've seen on simblr in a while, all the negativity and drama have made me a little less keen on being here a few months ago, but I've slowly come back and I'm genuinely so happy to see something like this happen :D

My patrons - honestly couldn't really end this appreciation post without saying a thank you to my patrons. Seriously, thank you :D You don't know how much your donations mean to me and my getting through college. The extra funds from your donations have allowed me to be generally independent in terms of funding myself and my activities. Seriously.

Anyway, this has been a super long post and I'm actually kind of embarrassed to post it because it feels like a long diary because I've been rambling about stupid stuff that I should have probably kept to myself but uhh yeah!!!!

Hope you guys have a happy holiday season!!! Expect more things from me, at least until the end of this year! I've been working on some stuff! Probably not exciting, but it's stuff!

[imagineitdearies]

Well, hello there~ I've been trying to gather the courage to message you, but I've been thinking a lot about PS....

I have to tell you that I absolutely ADORE the way you write and characterize Cazador soo soooo much! I always felt him to be way too goofy in the game!

Astarion always tells us about this big bad entity in Baldur's Gate that is basically looming over him and waits for him to do something wrong so he can snatch him. Then you meet him in his dungeon and he is this pathetic man who is no match for us!

But the way you write him and his terrifying presence is what I would have loved him to be and I am positively terrified everytime he is there!

I absolutely loved the last chapter and that ending made me DREAD the next one (as always in a good way)🙈🥲

Thank you for your incredible work and for sharing that for free for all us little plebs💗💗💗

Gahhh cutest deviant hello!! Your comments (and user pic) always make me smile 🥰

I’m so glad you’re liking Cazador’s characterization!! It’s been super cathartic writing such a narcissistic asshole to be frank.

It’s funny, I think one of the dialogue options when first confronting Cazador is to question Astarion on why he was so afraid of this guy for so long. But it’d be a totally different story if Cazador still had ultimate control—lots of angst with Astarion having to fight against you, obey whatever he says, etc. Astarion going back to face him empowered and freed from control does nerf Cazador quite a bit (I still had to reload the battle a few times during my first run 😂), but I do find it a beautiful metaphor for facing an abuser from childhood—once they no longer have ultimate power over you, you realize what an absolute loser they are.

But yeah, that shouldn’t invalidate the very real, very valid fears when you are under their control, and that’s such an interesting (terrible) thing to explore, isn’t it? And terrifying, in this case! Lol.

Dread and suspense have been soooo fun to play with in this story—I hope you enjoy what unfolds in ch30!! Though in this case ‘enjoy’ may be the wrong word….I’d advise having some self-care planned for after 💔

Thanks so much for reaching out deviant, it really made my day!!

[flightlesscipher]

Future Frights, Sleepless Nights

A TS Quint fanfiction

(authors note: around 3700 word count, it's a long one. I hope that this story helps make someone feel less alone. If u enjoy shit with deep meaning, check this out. The story takes place sometime before mallrats, but he is single in this timeline..sorry brandi😅. I'm not a professional, there's probably a few grammatical errors here and there, but I like to think the heart of the plot makes up for it. There is use of y/n-your name. I highly doubt it, but if kevin smith sees this, hello mister awesome. #1 I promise this is purely fictional and I do not intend on stealing your creations, it's just an expansion idea on a character of yours that I love. #2 you're fuckin epic btw ily legend #3 if this somehow someway ever gets in your hands and you read it, i would be honored to hear any words of advice or criticism to my writing. After all, you're the king of dialogue and mastermind of the most iconic plot ideas. To everyone else, pls let me know what you think as well:)Enjoy💜)

"If crime is a social disease..." you start to read excitingly, before getting interrupted by your phone ringing. "Who the fuck could that be?" It was 9 am on a Saturday. You woke up extra early just in time to watch the mailman walk all the way up to your door from your window. There isn't even a word to explain how ecstatic you've been now that your package has finally arrived. Weeks upon days upon every last minute, you've been waiting to get your hands on the newest comic. Admire every color and line down to the smallest detail. Feel every single page under your finger tips, making it yours. Fuck.

You pick up your phone and sigh in slight annoyance. "yello," you mutter, trying not to sound like you want to kick the ass of whoever the fuck is on the other end. "Hey y/n...what are you doing?" It was none other than TS Quint, one of your close friends. You would say best friend, but Brodie insists that "only one" can claim that title. Brodie actually introduced you two a while back, considering the fact that you guys had a lot of similarities. Same taste in music, same drive to be a good person, same "lousy want for cheesy romance", same soft heart, and so much more. He was right, it was definitely true. The amount of late night phone calls, drunk adventures, and much needed deep talks should earn you the best friend title, even TS secretly agrees. Maybe not THE best friend, but A best friend is more like it. Which is why he called you this early in the morning. TS could count on you when it came to almost anything. Almost.

"Playing rock, paper, scissors with myself. Why what's up," you answer sarcastically, rolling your eyes at your own humor.

"C'mon, seriously! Are you busy? Please tell me you're not." You can hear the stress in TS' voice, his tone sounding way more weak than the typical morning raspiness. He's usually one to throw a witty reply right back at you unless there's something bothering him.

"Well I wassssss trying to read that new comic I've been waiting on...but you sound like you've either got run over by a bus or you haven't slept in days. What's going on?"

A loud groan buzzes from his end. You can feel his exhaustion through the phone. "I haven't!!!! I been tossing and turning all night. I can't seem to get in a comfortable position and it's driving me insane. It's been fucking hours!"

You can't help but feel atleast a little bad for him. At the end of the day, friendship is always more important than some comic..well...for the most part. "Okay soo..your next best solution is hanging out with me?" You knew he needed some comfort, but you wanted to tease him a little before saying yes.

TS groans even louder and let's out a long sigh. "Please y/n? I'm sick of being in this house and even more sick of my inability to relax. Plus, I wanted to see you anyway..." The sincerity and pureness of his last admission made you melt. Despite Quint's many many stresses, he always has a soft spot for you.

"Let me guess. You called Brodie first. He didn't answer."

A nervous chuckle slips through his lips. You can imagine his anxious facial expression already. "Well yeah, I always call Brodie first..." Small guilt starts to flow through his veins. "You know he won't be awake till another 5 hours from now," he tries to distract you from the previous topic as his voice shakes a little.

"Hmm, so what you're telling me is that if Brodie wasss awake, you wouldn't have even bothered to reach out to me?" At this point you were just coming for his life. It's always been super easy to get under his skin.

"Damn it y/n, can I come see you or not?" Man he sounded irritable. He wanted so bad to be a smartass back but he didn't have the energy.

"Yes you can come over," you reasure him in a now warmer tone as a smile tugs at the corners of your lips. "I was just fucking with you. See you soon, Quint."

You can practically hear him jump out of bed. "Thank GOD. I'm getting dressed and leaving. See you in a few." He hangs up immediately, missing your laugh at his relief. TS sure was a character.

As you lift the comic back up to your eyes, the heroes on the pages stare right back at you. A quiet sigh escapes your lips, signifying a silent goodbye for now. You gently place the comic on your desk, gazing at the cover one more time to remind yourself of the excitement. You didn't bother changing your outfit. You felt comfy and knew TS didn't care what you looked like anyways..he'd probably show up looking a bit frazzled considering his current state. As you lazily walk to your door, you mentally prepare yourself for whatever TS is about to hit you with. The warmth of your shoes envelopes your feet as you slip them on before you head outside. You figured you'd wait for your friend to arrive, but within no time, you can already see his car in the distance speeding down the street. Faint sounds of electric guitar fills your ears more and more the closer he gets.

The car screeches as he barely parks in your driveway. Clearly he was in a rush to see you. You walk up to his car as he rolls down his window. His hair was a bit of a mess but somehow he didn't look anywhere near how Brodie looks when he wakes up. He was wearing a flannel and jeans per usual. "There you aree," he says with a smile. His eyes watch you climb into the passenger seat and close the door. "Here I am," you sigh, throwing out sarcastic jazz hands, smiling right back at him.

"Sorry I look..like this..." He awkwardly gestures at himself in embarrassment. "It has been a very long night." His hands grab hold of the wheel as he looks down at his lap and exhales.

"Atleast you don't look like jay after having an "adventurous night." You should see the look of that man with a weed hangover. His hair all over his face and his shirt somewhere across the street in a bush." He looks at you with wide eyes trying to imagine the sight. "But anyways tell me what's on your mind? What's stopping mister TS from sleeping at night?" You gently nudge his shoulder, playfully trying to get something out of him. You know he's one to feel a lot, but struggle to let it out without being asked.

"I don't..I don't know! I just couldn't get comfortable and my head was racing..with a million things. Nothing specific." The slight hint of anxiousness in his voice stood out more than a peacock in a flock of pigeons.

"Cut the bullshit TS, tell me what's wrong," you say a little sternly, careful not to sound angry at him. You've said that sentence to him on multiple occasions.

"It's nothing, don't worry. Just couldn't sleep...besides...here look. I found this new band you'll like. I burned some songs onto a cd for you." Your eyes widen as he quickly tries to shift your focus onto something else other than his thoughts. TS leans over you and whips open his glove compartment. Like always, cds and cassettes fly out onto your lap. No matter how many times you've told him, he fails to keep that part of his car organized. It really is a messy representation of his music taste.

"C'mon which one is it? I swear I put it on the top." He hurriedly shuffled through his collection. Some cds had cases, whereas others did not. He tossed some on your lap as you watched him frantically search. You always enjoyed Quint's high appreciation for great music, both underground and well-known. Sharing songs with you was just another adorable love language of his. But at the moment you knew he was avoiding facing the conflicts of his mind right in front of you. "TS..."

"Ahhh here it is!" He lifts the cd in the air between you guys, giving it a little shake as he was careful not to get thumb prints on it. You can see he had written some words on it in sharpie, but before you had time to read it he quickly inserted it into the car. Groovy bass fills the air, following the loud pop of a snare drum. TS starts lightly drumming his steering wheel with his hands. The song wasn't bad, but you reach over to lower the volume so you can talk to him.

He gently grabs hold of your hand to stop you. "Oh you don't like this one? That's okay, cause I know for SURE you'll love the next one, dude." He presses the skip button and increases the volume even more. His hand releases from yours as he air guitars to the music. It was always entertaining to see him put on a show for you, but now wasn't the time.

"TS..." you say again trying to get his attention, but ofcourse that was a fail. You sharply inhale, finally reaching to turn off the music completely. TS abruptly stops and his jaw drops. "Heyy what was that f-"

You don't let him finish his sentence for obvious reasons. "Talk to me," your voice now stern and serious. His blue eyes lock with yours, softening in such a way that reveals even more exhaustion than before. He likes to think he's good at hiding things, but Quint's eyes speak louder than any words out of his mouth will.

TS sighs and drops his hands to his lap, his fingers playing with the bottom of his flannel for comfort. "I'm scared.." The tone of his voice drops, sounding extra vulnerable.

"Scared? Scared of what??""

"Wasting time..." he mumbles, clear enough for you to hear him.

"TS what on earth are you talking about?" You slightly raise an eyebrow as you try to read the emotions on his face.

"The future, y/n! My future," he starts, his words now filled with passion. "We're not teenagers anymore. We're adults. And it fucking scares me. I don't know what I'm doing or what I should be doing to prepare myself for it all. I don't even know how to "adult."

You feel your heart drop at his honesty. His words hit too close to home. The material of your pants suddenly seems interesting as you listen to TS pour his feelings out to you.

"It all scares me. Some days I'm fine and other days I'm completely losing my mind. So much so to the point it keeps me awake at night, clearly," he again gestures to his appearance as his eyes widen in annoyance. "I don't know what to do or what I even want to do! I spend so much time trying to dive into the shit I like and find more shit exactly like it. It's almost like a distraction from entering the real world. I mean..comics, music, video games, partners...what if all of it is just a waste of fucking time?"

The pain is TS' voice felt like a flame against your skin. You hated knowing your best friend was feeling this way. Everything he was saying felt indescribably relatable, but you didn't think he realized that. "TS..."

He keeps going and doesn't let you speak. "I don't know how they do it! There's tons of other people our age who know exactly what they're doing and exactly where they're going to end up. It's like they have the list of steps right in front of them! But then what? What if they do get there? Are we just supposed to repeat the same cycle of work, eat, and sleep everyday for the rest of our lives? I can't do that!!!"

He pauses to take a breath. He gazes into your eyes searching for some kind of comfort or answers. His cheeks are starting to flush a little from his ranting. You try to chime in. "Ya know I feel-"

TS interrupts again, revealing that he still had more to say. "I like hanging out with my friends. I like spending hours in comic stores or records shops. I like being stupid and getting drunk and high and just living without any worries. But it makes me feel so guilty. I'm so confused! You don't hear about adults doing what we do. Everything is "oh I can't I have work. I have to take care of the kids. Ah shit I can't I have to pay my bills next week." It sickens me! Obviously I want a job and a good future where I don't have to worry, but I can't even begin to describe the amount of emotions that bubble up inside of me everytime I think about it all. There's so many ways to turn and paths to take! The fact that one wrong decision can completely screw up the outcome of our future scares the fucking life out of me. It's so draining! What if-"

"TS!!" You didn't want to interrupt, but God knows how long he would've kept rambling and going in circles. "I understand you," you admit.

His eyebrows raise in surprise. "You do?"

"Duh. Do you think I'm not as lost in life as you are? I'm in the same boat. You're young. We're young. It's confusing as shit yeah, but we have so much time," you try to comfort him despite agreeing with every word he said.

"But it doesn't feel like it. We may be young but not as young as we used to be. It feels like the days fly by way quicker. Especially on days we fuck around and do what we actually wanna do."

"I know it does. It's bound to be that way the older we get. That's why it's important to appreciate every second and live in the moment. You're not living life if you're just worrying about the future, man."

TS looks out the window and takes a deep breath. It looks like he's trying to accept what you're telling him but still struggling.

You reach over and place your hand on his shoulder. "It's normal to worry about this shit, TS. It's completely okay, I promise. But you gotta be in the present. I have trouble focusing on the right now, too. You know that. We all grow our own way. There's no rule or age limit to life. No matter how old you are or where you are in your journey, you will always have room for growth. Everybody's chapters are different lengths, whether it may be love, success, happiness..you have the right to take as long as you need to read each one. Even turn the pages back to them anytime..."

Quint looks at you completely dumbfounded. He couldn't believe it. You knew yourself you were a little wise when it came to helping others. Listening to your own advice is something you have to work on, though.

"And about being afraid of wasting your time..don't. You spending time with your friends and finding joy in your favorite things isn't bullshit, TS. That is what's MEANT to be happening right now. You're figuring out who you are. What you love. What makes you, you. You're decorating your soul and building the future TS that younger TS always wanted to be. And maybe time flying by while doing all these things is actually a good thing. It means you're truly enjoying what makes you, you. I think you should continue spending time where time disappears. A full life goes fast and in the end, time that flies is time well spent." You smile warmly at him, secretly being impressed at the wise words that just came out of your mouth.

"Holy shit. You're right." TS' eyes widen in sudden realization. He was always one to be extremely grateful for meaningful advice. Through the deep exhausted state in his blue eyes, you now notice a glimmer of light. A tired expression now mixed with a sense of awakeness from relief. "What do I do about fearing the cycle of doom?" A playful smile starts to form on his lips, knowing you understood what he meant.

"Honestly, I can't tell you to not be afraid about that part. Fuckin hell. You and I both are afraid of living that God awful cycle of work, eat, and sleep all while suffering silently till you die. Shit, I swear on my life that so many other people our age are afraid of that crap, too. We're young, TS. We have time. We'll figure it out. Life will do it's thing. Don't compare yourself to anyone who's "doing better than you." I say it all the time.." You put your hand out, expecting him to finish the sentence.

"Comparison is the thief of joy." He quoted in a now content tone of voice.

"Exactly, my friend. See? You had it in you all along." It pleases you to finally see TS show off a full smile this morning, especially because of your assistance. You reach out and ruffle his hair gently, the soft brown strands standing up in different directions. "You'll be alright, TS. I promise."

He pushes your hand away with a giggle and flattens down the mess. His eyes meet yours as he gently grabs hold of the sides of your face. "Thank you, y/n. You're a genius. I seriously don't know what I'd do without you."

Your heart going from a huge drop to cozy comfort in such a short time was pretty similar to a rollercoaster. But being friends with TS literally felt like being on one anyways. "No need to thank me, man. It's what I'm here for."

"I'm so fucking glad I came to see you instead of Brodie. He probably would've told me to just rub one out and move on," he admitted with an awkward chuckle.

"You probably should have," you joke. That definitely would have knocked him out for sure. One of the common traits you both shared was also having crude humor at even the worst moments.

"Do you wanna do me a quick favor?" TS' eyes nervously jump around side to side. He was being playful as usual, but he damn sure always had the balls to ask despite knowing your answer.

"No."

"Okay."

The air fell silent. Faint sounds of wind and birds singing mixed with the purring of the car until TS spoke up. "So uhhh..about that comic. You wanna go inside and enjoy it with me? I know how long you've been waiting for it."

Finally. You knew TS well enough to know he was also interested in experiencing the things you loved with you, just as you did with him. There was no way he wouldn't have brought it up eventually this morning. "You bet!"

Both of you climb out his car. While you walk to your front door, he wraps an arm around your shoulder and pulls you close. He gives you a small, much needed side hug while simultaneously ruffling your hair this time to playfully get you back for earlier.

"You jerk," you mumble as you nudge him away.

"Yeah, your favorite jerk."

Like he does everytime, TS slides his shoes off at the door. No matter how many times you tell him he doesn't have to do that, he still insists it's only respectful he does. His parents raised him well without a doubt. You teased him for it, but he knew you admired that trait. Once in your room, he plops down onto your bed, face first. He stays still and groans. "mmfcomfy."

"You're so stupid haha. Move over." You grab the comic and sit on the bed next time him as he rolls over and leans back on your pillow. He snatches a still full bag of chips you had left open earlier off your nightstand and starts eating them. You didn't even care at this point. You were happy you had helped your best friend feel a little better and finallyyy was having the comic nerd moment you've been waiting for.

A common position you guys spend together took place yet again. Your head rests on TS' chest while his hands rest partially on your stomach. A lot of the time, you're holding a comic, tilting it up enough for him to also see the pages and be able to flip them for you if you're reading it aloud to him. One of the unique habits he has during these moments always puts a smile on your face. If he's wearing a flannel, specifically unbuttoned, he will throw the extra fabric over you. It's almost like he's trying to cover you with the smallest blanket, or make himself feel closer to you somehow.

"I am now in the present. Experiencing a new comic with my best friend. I can feel the time flying by already," he playfully quotes you with a soft sigh.

You start to read the comic to him, listening to him quietly gasp or hum to the art or dialogue he enjoyed. It wasn't until 4 pages in that he got quiet. You can feel his breathing pattern on your back grow slower. Careful not to wake him, you lift your head slowly to see the physical answer for why he stopped replying. Thank God. TS finally fell asleep. After all those hours of struggling and stressing, he now looks like he took a visit to Peaceful Town.

You lean back down into his chest, feeling his hands gently hold you tighter in his sleep. The comic was everything you've been dreaming about, but even in the midst of excitement, you realize this is a beautiful moment free of worries. No need to worry about responsibilities or the future or running out of time. Just as the heroes in the comic live out their purpose, you allow yourself to do the same. Living in the moment, drifting into a calming snooze with TS Quint.

-Flight🪽

[koka-mi]

HIII KOKA HOW HAVE U BEEN JUST IN GENERAL FEEL FREE TO GO ON A WHOLE YAP !!!

HII OMG HIII RAVEN IN MY ASKBOX LET'S GOOOO!!!! >:DDDDDDD KYOKO PLSUHIEEEEU!!! I LOVE THAT PICTURE SOSO MUCH I THINK ABT IT EVERYTDYA!!!!

I'VE BEEN DOING VERY WELL THANK YOU!! :3 AND I WILL TAKE THAT YAP INVITATION AND RUN WITH IT!!!!

SOO today went very very nicely I think!!!! I stood up until like 5am-ish so I woke up suuuper late today xD ohoh and I watched this uhh christian movie. I don't even remember what it's called--the last miracle or something???? I DON'T EVEN REMEMBERRR but it was okay?? I dunno I only watch those movies bcz my great grandpa make me feel like I have to :p I haven't had to do any super religious stuff since I was around 7-8 y/o though xD watching christian movies isn't really the norm for me luckily !

I also took a nap which surprises like nobody AND I PLAYED SOME ACE ATTORNEY ON MY 3DS AS WELL AS SOME RAYMAN AND IM@S ON MY VITA SO THAT WAS SUPER SUPER FUN!!!! :D

my mom also got some italian food today so that was super cool!! AND IT'S SO GOOD I love italian food it's up there with japanese food for me yummy yummyyy !!!!

ALSO ALSOOO I got to practice with my cover group a little bit! not everyone could show but majority of us could :D and that was super fun~! I think our manager (saying that makes it sound so professional BUT IT WASN'T REALLY BAHBFHADSB) was losing patience with some of us though xD none of it was directed at me but a few of the members were falling behind in their lines--the rest of us reassured them that it was okay though!! :] a video was also recorded but I'm not allowed to share it sadly </3 maybe I can share my own parts sometime tho!

hmmm what elseeee...my mom did my eyebrows today so that was something!! she was also talking about these three DEPRESSING MOVIES WHILE SHE WAS DOING IT :'D THEY WERE SOOO SAD AND I WAS JUST LIKE MOM WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME THISSSS but tbf they do sound pretty good--I dunno if I'd watch them myself tho I'd probably cry BSAHDBASFH

ANND I wrote in my journal today!! :3 but it's not anything about me it's a short kyosaya story :D I may share it but I'm not suuure..it's not anything super special--I also doodled little kyosaya drawings around it !!!!!! I love kyosaya I love kyosaya I love kyosay

UHHH THAT'S ABOUT IT I THINK!!!! MY DAY WENT VERY WELL AND I AM DOING SUUUPER GOOD~!! TYSM FOR ASKING RAVEN YOU'RE SO COOLLLLL

[armpirate]

UNDER HIS SKIN || JJK || Ch. 21

Pairings: tattoist!jk x fem!reader

Genre: smut, angst, friends to lovers, tattoo au, virgin reader.

Summary: They say there are two versions for every story, and it's important to hear both of them. Everybody is hearing your side of the story, but it's just fair to get to know his.

After breaking up with his girlfriend, the only thing he wanted was to have fun with no attachment. You wanted to get rid of your virginity, and he wanted to tick you off his list. What he didn't expect was getting so emotionally attached to you that he would regret the deal.

Previous || Next

MASTERLIST

The girl keeps making eye contact with me, teasing me every time she moves the straw near her lips with a smirk. I only grin in response, knowing perfectly fine what she's trying to do and where this could actually go. As usual, my eyes travel away from her to fix on a different point inside the pub. It's something that has always worked... There's nothing worse for someone than having the attention taken away from you for no reason. I smirk to myself when I feel a tap on my shoulder, and her friendly smile is filled with second intentions. A little bit of sweet talk later, we're both making out outside. Until we break the kiss to breathe, and the blonde I wanted to go home with is a totally different person.

And that's when I snap back to reality. Because that thought only crossed my head while I'm still sitting on the counter, and it ended up with Y/n. It always ends up with her. Trying to get her out of my head, even with the dumbest thoughts, only ends up being a big total fail from my side. And why? I don't know.

It could be regret knocking at my door. But I've regretted the way I talked to her as soon as those words slipped my lips. I was low enough to attack her with her own situation, that she only trusted me to know. And I used it to hurt her, only because I felt hurt over her opinion about the deal.

The way she said it... It made me feel useless, as if she were only around me for the sex and advice, but wasn't that what I signed for? It was obvious she'd use everything she learns sooner or later, it's literally the point of our deal. But my blood was boiling just at the thought of that dickhead touching her.

For the eightieth time, only that day, I pick up my phone and enter in our chat, just to be unable to type anything at all. What am I supposed to say now? It'd be dumb to think she isn't annoyed still, and this won't make it.

Before I save my phone in my pants again, I see a message from Leslie. She keeps insisting on seeing me again, and it's starting to piss me off. I know Mark meant well when he gave her my new phone number, but this is being a little bit too much. And the fact that I'm already pissed off in general doesn't help when I click the block button and forget about it.

Pissed off, I stand up from my place and head outside. I guess it's time to get back home.

And what's better than video games to free your mind?

I take a seat on the floor, resting my back against the couch, after I've changed my clothes to some baggy comfortable ones. I'm finally immersed in something that isn't my own thoughts, feeling able to escape from the mess I made.

—Jungkook, just stop playing if you're gonna be this bad —Tae calls me out through the earphones.

—Who will you play with, huh? —I ask, raising my eyebrow while my focus is on killing people from the other group.

—Anyone else, literally —he sighs—. If you're so distracted because of that girl, just go and talk with her.

I tried that, and I failed as well. Just a few days ago I drove to her house, and stood in front of the main door for twenty minutes until I gave up. There was no point for me to stay there. How would she even react if she had seen me there out of nowhere?

It's going to be a long night... Well, as they all have been since I fought with Y/n.

✸ ✸ ✸

If last night I thought there was no hope left, I receive a text from Soo. She's inviting me again to go boxing with her. I wish she'd just accept I'm fine with doing it on my own, because we aren't at the same level, and I like being a bit rough when it comes to it?

"Tam, Mel and Y/n are also here"

And that text makes me think that maybe it won't be a bad idea after all. I wanted a chance to see Y/n and that doesn't seem forced. My sister invited me and she just happens to be there, so it's not a bad idea at all.

When I get there, I suddenly want to backtrack and leave the gym. I don't know what her reaction will be when she sees me, but there are high chances that she won't like it and I'm just risking it on making things uncomfortable for everybody. But, at the same time, if I don't see her now, I'm not sure when I'll be able to gain strength to step in front of her and talk to her directly about what happened.

I step in in the gym class, seeing everybody messily working on their boxing skills on the punching bags that are hung around the room, while others just seem to be resting a bit. And that's when I see her. Cheeks slightly tinted in red, some wet locks sticking on her forehead and side of her face, while her lips are parted trying to get some air back. And I can't believe how much I missed that image.

The trainer walks to me, greeting me with a tight hug before he pats my back. I've always trained with him only, so he's surprised to see me here with so many people.

—My sister insisted —I excuse myself.

—Good —he laughs—. Pick a punching bag and make it yours.

—Umm —he looks at me interested when he's aware of my pensive expression—. How about we get in pairs and work on our abilities together? I've seen it's really helpful.

Convinced by what I've just said, he nods and turns to the whole class before he speaks:

—Guys, get in pairs.

I see Soo goes straight to Melanie as soon as those words get to their ears, while Tammy walks straight to the guy she's been trying to hook up with for months. About Y/n, I see her looking around, trying to find someone that's in the same situation as her. And she finds someone actually. The boy walks to her with confidence, just to receive a deathly look from me, while I point to somewhere else in the room so he doesn't get near her. His expression turns from a confident one to a scared one, changing the pace of his tracks to walk somewhere else in the classroom.

I walk to her, noticing her ponytail is a big mess at this point, and there's no way she'll be able to concentrate on the exercise that way. Throwing my boxing gloves on the floor, I walk to her. Her hair falls over her shoulders, before I hold it all up again and style it on a messy bun so it won't bother her later.

—What are you doing? —she turns to me, once I'm done— Your sister is there.

—They all are busy with their things.

It's not like they'll interrupt their gossip and dumb talk to pay attention to us. Yet Y/n still needs to make sure their eyes are on us. She turns to me again with her lips slightly pressed against one another.

—I'm not doing this with you —she assures me, when she's aware I'm already wearing my red boxing gloves.

—Too bad I'm the only one free.

—Then I'll change partners with someone.

She starts looking around, but everyone has their partner already, and I highly doubt anyone would want to trade at this point. I call her name, the softest way I'm able to, getting her to look back at me with acceptance. But it only seems to be about the gym class, because whenever I try to get closer to her, she steps back, until she finally decides to hide behind the punching back, holding onto it so I get ready to punch it.

—We need to talk about what happened —I throw the first punch.

Although I try to be as careful as I'm able to, I still make her whole body move with the punch I give.

—Do we? —she cuts me off— Because I don't think we have anything to talk about when you disappeared for a week.

How do I tell her that I've been trying to do exactly that for a week, and that it took my sister to invite me to her friends' hang outs to finally dare to do it? It's ridiculous and pathetic. How do I tell her that I've been thinking about her non-stop ever since I stepped out from her house later that night?

She keeps looking at me though, silence isn't enough and she wants me to fill it with an answer to her question.

—I wanted to call you —I assure her once she changes places.

She scoffs, getting ready to give the first punch to the punching back.

—What was it? You lost your phone? Broke it? —she changes her position, now kicking the boxing back to make my body move.

—I was embarrassed.

She suddenly stops. Eyebrows knitted together as she processes what I've just admitted.

—I'm sure you're used to being an asshole like that —she keeps going back to punching and kicking the punching bag, hitting it harder each time.

—Not with you though. And I didn't know how to reach out to you after I behaved like that —I sigh—. You had every right to be pissed off that night. I was a douche, that comment was...

—Disgusting? —she gasps, stopping again— It was. And don't try to say you didn't feel every single word. You said it because you were annoyed, I get it, but that doesn't change the fact that somewhere, in the back of your head, you don't think those words aren't true.

—I never said I didn't believe those weren't true —she bites her lip, and I'm seeing she's starting to position herself to hit something that isn't the punching bag anymore—. The wording was fucked up because it came up as an attack to you, but would you be really looking in my direction if you had more choices?

Wait, was that what actually hurted me that day?

I never thought about it that way, but the fact that she could have anyone she'd want to if it weren't for her being pathologically unable to keep a normal conversation with a man... Yeah, it sucks a lot. The fact that she'll be able to act the same way she does with me with anyone else makes my head hurt and my blood boil. But it's something that's likely to happen eventually, whether I like it or not. And it's not fair to try to hold her accountable for it.

—It doesn't change the fact that you were offensive for no reason —she faces me

—I didn't mean it that way. I... —I think about what I want to say exactly, but I give up when I'm unable to— I'm sorry about what I said.

My lungs and throat totally shut when she suddenly hits my stomach after some other punches directed at the punching back I'm holding. I guess I deserve that.

—This conversation isn't over —she assures me—. Don't think everything is set and done only because you apologized.

And while it might not be the reply someone would be happy with, I am indeed happy after hearing that comment and being aware that she doesn't want to end things there.

After what happened during gym class, and after taking a cold shower, I get dressed and pick my phone, finally daring to send her a text. I can't believe it's actually been a whole week since I've done this.

Me: Can I come to your place?

Y/n takes quite long to respond. I keep seeing the "Typing..." thingy under her name several times, until she finally sends in her answer. My stomach turns in its place when she first sends a dry "No", just to send in later how she wants us to meet in my place instead.

✸ ✸ ✸

I've been walking in circles on the exact same spot for way too many times, I'm afraid I might end up digging a hole at this point. And it only gets worse when she finally rings the bell, making my heart jump out of my chest. She looks serious, but slightly nervous, when I open the door for her.

It's kind of uncomfortable at first. As if we hadn't done this a million times already.

—Do you want something to drink? —I ask, pointing towards the kitchen.

Her hair swings in sync with her head when she shakes her head. So straight to the serious talk, I guess.

I walk over my couch, thinking it'd be better to discuss this while we're both sitting than standing in the middle of my house. Although she stays up, until I pat on the free seat next to me on the couch. Now she is indeed nervous, moving her fingers on her lap, lost in her own head.

I think it might be easier if I were the one who started speaking.

—I crossed the line the other day —she nods, still not looking at me—. And hiding for a week didn't make it any better.

—No. Because it seemed like you didn't care —although she raises her head to look at me, she avoids looking into my eyes—. It felt like I was the one who had to go after you to make things up.

—I didn't know how to do it —I scratch the back of my head—. I didn't know how to properly reach out to you after that night. I wasn't sure if texting you out of nowhere or going to your place would be invasive.

—But coming to the training wasn't? —she asks that question with an accusing tone, while she raises one of her eyebrows.

—Was it that obvious I went because of you?

Her lips pressed tight against one another, as she slightly nods her head.

—I rather train by myself —I sigh—. But Soo told me you were going, too. I saw the chance, and I took it.

—So your plan was to come to the training, and?

—Apologize —I finish

—Right —her gaze drops back to her thighs—. You know, I wasn't annoyed because of the jealous act. That pissed me off, but not because you were jealous, but because you feel like you're free to meet up with someone, yet that same rule doesn't apply to me. I don't like the double standards. And then you said that crap, acting like I'm only doing this because you're the only one I can do it with...

From my point of view, I wasn't meeting with Leslie to get in her pants. That was never the main point of it, and it'd never be. But of course she can't know that, especially when I didn't even tell her what was going on.

—How did you feel when I said that?

She seems surprised by my question, as if it were an unexpected bomb that she didn't know how to defend herself against. And that makes me wonder how many times she's felt forced to hide her real feelings, or eat up her own thoughts so she wouldn't hurt others.

—Pathetic —she sighs heavy—. I felt pathetic. It made me feel like you were doing me a favor and just saw me as that.

Clearly, whatever happened in her past has made her as insecure and defensive as she is. But the fact that I dropped those words, and that I used a wording that made her feel that way, only makes me want to bang my head against a wall.

—I promise I didn't mean it that way —I assure her—. It pissed me off how you said you regretted the deal. I said the first thing that crossed my mind. How you talked about it... it made me feel like you're only talking to me because of that. Like all of these moments are only because you need my help —I want to touch her, I crave the feeling of her skin, but my hand drops on my lap before I'm able to reach hers—. You're not pathetic. I'm an asshole for making you think that way.

Her eyes widen slightly as she hears my apology and my thoughts about this whole issue. I wonder what's genuinely going through her head right now.

—You're an asshole —she seconds what I say, just to say something unexpected shortly after—. But get pizza for dinner and I'll consider forgiving you.

She's slick and fast, giving me a tiny smile while she looks at me after dropping the best make-up phrase I've heard. I pat her head, feeling her hair soft under my palm, before I lean over the table to reach my phone.

—Ham and cheese?

We've eaten pizza way too many times not to know she hates rough flavors. I remember the face she made when she first got one slice of my Pepperoni pizza after I dared her to try it.

Forty minutes later, we're both lying on my couch, eating the pizza I've ordered while watching the most gore film that's ever been made. At some point, when the killer tears one of his victim's body apart with a chainsaw, I ask:

—Does this make us psychopaths?

The fact that neither of us are even flinching would be concerning.

—Maybe —she nods, while chewing on her food.

It's all good and nice, until we both realize there's only one slice left inside the box. It's a matter of time before we both start arguing for it.

—You had the last one the last time —she whines

—And you had the last one the last last time —I emphasize my words pointing at the back with my thumb.

Does it make sense? No. But I enjoy bickering with her for no reason, and I've been missing all of this a little bit too much.

We both play rock-paper-scissors to make up who will get the last slice. The first few times we both use the same things, until I change mine to scissors and she chooses paper. Her hand is lifted in the air, while I jump on my seat and celebrate my victory just to piss her off. Clearly, it doesn't last long, because I divide that same slice in two just so she can get a bit more.

—Here —I hand it to her.

—Thank you —she smiles shyly, holding the slice with one of her hands.

When we both start picking all the things up, I see her attempt to leave my house, walking nervously to the door while she looks for her things around the place. Can I seriously let her go after a week without her? Answer is quite predictable.

I make her turn on her feet, pulling her body as close to mine as I'm able to, before I lay my lips on her, covering them softly with a delicate kiss. She's the first one moving her lips on mine, wrapping her arms around my neck as she tries to pull me closer to her body.

I break the kiss first, basically because the need of asking her to stay the night is bigger than the need I have of kissing her right now.

—Stay the night —I whisper—. Nothing has to happen. Just stay.

Actually, I don't want anything to happen. I just want to be with her, feel the warmth of her body next to mine as we try to get some sleep. That's all I need.

Y/n changes to one of my oversized t-shirts before she joins me in my bed, under the sheets. And although everything seems to be fine, I can tell there's something going on through her head by the way her eyebrows keep twitching and frowning momentarily.

—Let it out.

—What? —she looks at me confused.

—Whatever is running up here —I caress her temple—, let it out.

—Do you think Soo knows?

—Doubt it. Why?

—You said she told you I was there today.

The fact that that question was the only thing keeping her from relaxing next to me makes me cackle.

—All night you've been thinking about that? —I lift my eyebrows surprised— She said Tam, Mel and you were there. She didn't single you out. It was a general statement to encourage me to join her. She knows I've had a hard time socializing with people.

—So she invites you to places to get you to open up? —I nod— That's sweet.

Actually, it's been like that ever since I moved here. Because, according to her, I needed to make more friends apart from Taehyung, and how neither of us could leave in our bubble for too long. Only for Jimin to be added to the group, shortly after I met him as my therapist.

—Fake it 'till you make it —I sigh.

That's been my motto all my life.

—I have a hard time believing you struggle with that.

—I find it easy to meet people on a superficial level. I struggle when I have to open up and actually build friendships.

It was tough after what happened in Seoul, but it got slightly worse when Leslie cheated on me and disappeared shortly after.

We're back to being in silence, but I can sense there's something still bothering her.

—Let it out —he insists again.

—Why did you meet up with Leslie?

This time she doesn't play around, she directly asks the question while she waits for me to give her an answer.

—I shouldn't have —I look away as soon as her eyes fall on me again—. She showed up, and wanted to apologize properly for what happened between us. We had dated for too long, and I didn't want to hold the negativity any longer. You know, be cordial with her, move on from all that.

If only I had known she'd pull the bullshit she did, I wouldn't have given her a second.

I know Y/n asked why I met up with her, but I know she's waiting for a longer answer, that also includes an explanation as to why I didn't tell her I was meeting up with her when I canceled our plans.

—I didn't tell you through text because I didn't think I had to —I shrug—. But I was going to tell you when I drove to the bar. You don't have to worry about her —my hand reaches her under the covers, as if I needed her to understand I'm serious—, seriously.

I genuinely don't care about anything else, but the fact that I'm with her right now. It might seem dumb and stupid, but that tiny smile of her -that she keeps trying to hide- is the only thing that assures me everything will be alright. 

[earlysunshines]

⚠️ WARNING - long ask ahead, don't tell I didn't warn, sorry in advance guys 🤟

IM ERWITING THIS AS I GO ON THE FIC, which means omw to work, which means ill be all day thinking of this dani BC THE "the woman has a few moles on the right side of her face" GOT ME GOOOD yeees I love mo dani little moles sooo much.

(this all may be out of place? is just comments bc I'll probably explode if I dont write it down already so,,,

A CHET BAKER CD?? OUCH you have a good taste (played jazz for a while after it cause I was already wanting to hear since hanni recent live listening to the lp she brought, that was such a great live)

loved the way you played with the shelter 'care' word bc of the kang going first AND it was so funny haerin going like "your girl is just that way if you want to know" she is a little menace

ok so beach jazz scene, just got chills from them looking at each other and singing the same line cause I put to play the song too yk immersion, AND ARRURGH THE slip up and calling dani beautiful oh pls n dani still staring like i can imagine her goofy little teasing smile at yn bc of It oh oh they're so in love,, im just getting started aren't I?

yn just noticing dani has been talking about her when minji mentioned likejjhh giiirl I knew since haerin mentioned the same line dani had said about yn eyes. n ooooh you didn't continue the twinflame book c'mon (loved the bit of it)!!! it was getting interesting

also really important part; the way you always highlight the action of dani tilting her head squeezes my chest everytime i. swear . im weak for it

THEY KSSED 😭😭😭oh dani's tatto they're- WELL THEY KISSED !!! UARGH cuties

okaywait was so engaged reading that I forget this here, so the bathroom scene remind ME about the time thing, tbh I think you did this all fluffy scenes on purpose making us forget abt the plot, funny how wait this about to be big, like since when I read the summary I got surprised with this concept of death time tattoo, usually is 'time until you meet your soulmate' kinda of thing SO never read this plot before AND since the start I was like, afraid? of finishing this one like idk it it all comes to a end yk? idk shit you made me thoughtful, going back to read

OOP CLOSE THE DOOR??🫣? IM SEATED oh to hold danielle waist and and...😔 "maybe im your twin flame"YOURE😭MO DANI 😭 YOU ARE arhg youre giving me anxiety my dear writer

NOO YN don't isolate yourself oh if you're giving us another heartbroken dani im about to cry

LAST THEN 48 HOURS??? WAIITWAIT I want my fluffy where is fufflism

just thinking abt hyein ms lee and haerin starring at yn like 'is she dead??' gave me such a good laugh ngl

oh you... you made they death day on 722? ah....I swear I thought they were going to die without knowing abt they're soulmates like urgagrhggggsgghh lemme finish this up

before I cry with this little happy alternative universe I wanna say that I LOVED the way everything evolves around the beach, like since her parents till yn on th way of dyin,g it felt so right, the 'day off' where they spent all day gave me a thought like 'oh ms.lee surely planned it bc she knew dani walked on the morning' for me it was planned☝️🤓 (beabadoobee - beaches) <3

...to be honest I dont even know what to say to this one bc this all was just comments so yeah..im...this was good, good. literally spend all my shift thinking about finishing this one, the concept really got me good,, I.. maybe smth personal but i've been so...overloaded for a while so this one hitted soo close and made me want to,, live.. I think I just need a mo dani marsh in my life too

anyways😮‍💨 #really great, #changed my life, #made me cry, they're so many thoughts going on as a write this.. you're truly amazing. wish you a amazing day/week/weekend you deserve the best only!! 🫶

-with many admiration, 🤟

for this long wonderful lovely feedback i will provide. alonnnggg. reply and details plus insights HOORAAY im so glad to hear from u i absolutely love your responses u make me smile always

NO YWAAHAH HER MOLES I LOVE THEEMEMM they’re my fav feature other than her long eye lashes and smile and wait i love every feature muahahhaha

i loooove chet baker i have a like 8 hour playlist that has a lot of his music on there along with others ima. fiend for jazz i live for jazz festivals omfg and i need to find clips of hanni listening to music what!! i didn’t know this happened on her live…

no bc my fav thing ab these fics is that it’s lit up to me i thought i was the funniest person adding “kangs kare” im so #wordplay put me in coach

OMFG JAZZ Scene has some more behind it actually no it doesn’t i lied but basically i was like trying to just write and listen and the jazz playlist was lit on and CHET BAKER played and it was it’s always you and omfg i just ugh i started daydreaming and stopped writing for a moment LLOOL idk jazz makes me really lovey and dovey and emotional i think it’s beautiful it’s like a warm embrace or your lover tracing their fingers over your skin

aahahhshdh i think dani si the type of person to not shut up ab someone she likes and like she won’t even know she likes them yet but everyone around her knows LOL and mmmm detail the first thing dani said was “you have pretty eyes” and i tried to make that the first thing she said in the ending bc they’re twin flames and shit and aahhh repetition and similarity in universes … i’m rambling

ALSO this is so embarassing i had to literally search the difference between soulmates and twin flames and read a small article about twin flames and EVEN WORSE i had to make it sound professional and whatnot bc i had to quote on quote make a book in my fic ?-?:?: if yk what im saying but yeah that was a pain… cannot go on any longer i started making shit up FORREAAALLL all of that was pulled out of my ass i swear

NO BC PPL TILTINT THEIR HESDA IS SO IMPORTANT TO ME AND JUST PERKING YHRIR HEADS LIKE ANY MOVEMENT OF PPLS HEADA is so special to me it shows attention to details and emotion and desire to KNOW and be present in the moment and it’s just… so reassuring despite it being such a small gesture and i have realized over the years that i do it subconsciously with people i love and strangers that i click withINLVOE TJAT DETAIL i will use it in every fic ever idc if it’s repetitive i don’t care. i often tilt my head and whatnot bc im actually very nonverbal in real life usually (im just tired all the time) so i usually hum or give short responses and use my head to gesture the rest of what i need to convey liek this is so important to me guys…

I LOOOOVE writing kissing scenes but also no bc they get repetitive and yeah and also that tattoo hehehehsjwhhd i had to soft launch dani having the same tattoo LOL

i tried to make the whole death thing a little less repetitive and kind of brush over it until it got worse and worse and more serious and the whole concept was cheaply influenced by a movie where the two love interests know that they’re dying bc of their sickness but then i added a set, concrete date for dani and yn to die LOL idk lowk my creative juices were being juiced with this one… i was THINKING … and yeah i tried to fit in as many details and things that you’d have to remember form the beginning or middle idk i just rly like how i structured this one (the pacing is stilll iffy to me but wtv( bc i tried to have things tie together well and whatnot

makeout scene had me giggling and blushing while reading it was inspired by the anon who sent a makeout ask like smth ab “imagine making out w dani for the first time” and originally it wasn’t going to be there but i think it added to their bond and tension and lalalala yeah

no i couldn’t make them.die without knowing they’re meant to be but i had to try to figure out how to make the reveal angsty and i was like might as well have them figure out before they die and SOEAKJNG OF WHICH it took me a good amount of time while at work and making drinks to think of a way for them to die idk this story was so spontaneous and changed a lotLOL

and yes the whole beach thing was lowk inspired by summer strike bc i like the small town environment and how cute the beach is i haven’t even finished the drama im on ep like eight and haven’t watched since a few months ago LOL but i think the beach is just so calming and small towns r just sooo relaxing and nice compared tot he city (that being said i will always be a city girl…) idk beach city energy is just so wonderful and fits dani bc she grew up in newcastle and her whole vlog kinda gave me ideas for the world building and whatnot

i’m glad u love it!! and also just to mention ab the whole personal thing and living

i project a lot into my work and what i put down on the doc. idk if u can tell but i see a lot of beauty in things because i feel like its not worth dying if youre missing out on the intimacy of being loved and loving back plus just general interactions and platonic bonds built (ex: hyein and mrs lee) so like ywaaahh im glad you want to live!! there’s so much out there to experience and trust i understand exactly how u feel i looooowk have a lot of my own problems but writing helps me point out my dreams and things i find wonderful which makes me happy and then ppl enjoy the things that i romanticize and it makes me so so so so happy LOL

did u actually cry like many ppl r saying they cried or shed a tear and idk if i beleive it bc is it REALLT. that sad and emotional (maybe i just critics my writing tm) but yeah IM SO HAPPY THAT U ENJOYED!!!

u have a great week too you’re so sweet and i always love seeing your asks and feedback seriously, thank u!!!!

[ilsanslut]

NEW UPDATE, PLEASE READ! [SEMI(??) HIATUS]

hii friends! ♡

i know its been such a long LONG time since i've last been here, written anything, or interacted with any of you. i apologize for dipping so suddenly with no real indication of when i would return. tbh, this is the first time since my hiatus message that i last opened tumblr, (SHOCKING IK BUT IVE BEEN LIVING OFF OF J.AI) and seeing all of your well wishes as well as compliments on my works since i've been gone just made my heart swell sooo soo much, and i figured that i couldn't leave y'all in the dark any longer.

so, first thing's first. i am a full-time nurse now, (yaay!) but that also means that i work 3-4 12hr shifts a week. sometimes in a row. long story short, it's exhausting and extremely laborous, but it's my passion, and it's what i want to do so it's okay for me! i'm taking care of myself in between shifts too, dw! but i'm also sleeping A LOT more.

that being said, i do not feel comfortable stating a full return to tumblr just yet. (maybe in a few months when i feel thoroughly comfortable balancing writing and working, but no promises as of right now) i'll be active here and there and maybe share a little blurb or a horny/fluffy thought every now and then, but it will take some time for me to get back into writing full fics like i was before.

however, what i do feel comfortable with is bot creation! sometime within the next few weeks i'll be moving some of my nsfw themed c.ai bots onto j.ai (janitor ai), as well as creating a few new ones in the future! i find these to be less time consuming than that of full-length fics or blurbs, so i'll be sticking to making bots for the time being until i feel comfortable to write something larger!

on another note, it's been brought to my attention that recently, a few of my bots have been stolen from c.ai and posted to j.ai or other sites without my permission/credit. am i mad about it? nah (to an extent). does that make it okay? fuck nawl.

what pisses me off about it is: one, when people don't give credit to me or the original idea, and two, when people not only take my bots WITHOUT ASKING, but then they play it off in the bot description or on their page like it's their own creation. deadass, i wish nothing but the worst for y'all and i hope y'all get an incurable yeast infection or sumn. to those of you who HAVE asked first or given me credits, i love you all my lil' precious sugarplums and hope you wake up with 100 million dollars in your bank accs tomorrow!! 🫶🏾

all i'm saying is that if you want to use my bots, please, PLEASE credit me or state that my bot inspired your own (if they are very similar) and please ask/tell me before you do so that there's no confusion later down the line. thank you, lovelies.

if yall do see anyone stealing/using my works, please, let me know, report it, and/or make others aware that the content is stolen. i would appreciate it so, so much. 🫶🏾 ( cough cough: spidersay )

but if i'm honest, that's pretty much it from me! besides working my ass off, sleeping, and revamping my pc setup, that's all i've been up too in these past 4 months. i look forward to interacting with you all soon, and hope you all have a gorgeous day/night! ♡

[simlicious]

personal update :)

I want to start by saying that I appreciate you all so much, whether you are followers, mutuals, just casually lurking around, dropping by every 2 months, or regularly engaging, thanks for being around, it means a lot! 💜 More personal stuff follows below :)

Soo... I'm still pretty quiet, huh.

I guess I am on a semi-hiatus, I still drop into tumblr and try to see what's new with other simblrs, but I do not have to share much on my own blog for now (but that could also change quickly again, depending on my mood).

A lot of my family members' birthdays are in April and May so I've been busy on that front. Today was nice, we enjoyed my mum's yummy strawberry cake for my dad's birthday :)

My brother introduced me to a new game that we can play together, No Man's Sky. Part of me is fascinated by it, and part of me is annoyed because it's pretty grindy and I hate repetitious gameplay. I've been investing a lot of time in the last few days to achieve some things, but I just realized how much time is actually needed to make it anywhere in the game (but there are a lot of ways to do stuff, so maybe there is a better way than what I've been doing as a noob). I just need to be careful not to spend too much time on it. I'm also working on a project that's sims-related, but it will take some time before I can unveil it. I am proud to say that I have been making some progress in battling my anxiety regarding Covid. In Germany, the pandemic has been officially called over and we are not required to wear masks basically anywhere anymore. My initial reaction was "well, tell that to the virus!". Of course, we can still get sick and we have no way of knowing who might be sick, other than people coughing/sneezing/ showing obvious symptoms. But I've been to several places without a mask now (something I could not have dreamed of doing 2 months ago), including a restaurant, a supermarket, and a shopping center. It still feels weird not wearing a mask! In my head, I pretend that it is pre-covid and that helps a little. It also feels weird to still wear a mask when nobody around you does now, so it's tough either way. I still keep my distance though and if someone coughs or sneezes I'm outta there in an instant... and I think if/when I use public transportation, I would definitely wear a mask again. I am not comfortable sitting in tight spaces with others yet (even with a mask). Do you guys feel weird/vulnerable too without a mask?

[kimmysurveyblog]

47

How have you been doing? I'm doing pretty okay right now, honestly. Bad things: I miss my mom a LOT and also my dad, we fucking hate our new neighbours, we want to move within the next year so we have a lot of house fixing up to do, I have a chronic condition which will always suck at least a little. Insomnia has been insomnia-ing. Good things: I've been working out and I've lost 10 of the 30lbs I want to lose, I'm really enjoying it! It's so nice to be doing some self care and working towards being the healthiest and fittest version of myself. :) Therapy has been going well. On a day to day basis, I'm happier than I've been in the past.

Anything you're looking forward to? My boyfriend's birthday. Summer ending so my favourite time of year can begin. :D I'm already thinking about Christmas gifts.

Do you or anyone you know play the violin? Yes! An online friend.

Do you have a nice view out of the closest window? No. Neighbour's house.

What is one of your favorite breakup songs? No idea. Haven't gone through that in a long time.

Do you know anyone named Georgia or George? No.

What age did you learn how to ride a bike? Nooo idea.

Are you currently listening to music or watching TV? I'm listening to a podcast.

What is your morning routine? Wake up at 7, scroll on my phone for 15 minutes (boyfriend gets our daughter), come downstairs and make the kiddo breakfast, drink coffee while she eats. Once she's fed and we're caffeinated, we go on a morning adventure. I stay home with our daughter so my boyfriend does me a solid and usually gets her up. I super appreciate that. :)

Are you someone who gets easily agitated by hearing someone chewing? No.

What was the last text you sent? Text to my boyfriend saying kiddo & I were going into the pool.

What did you last have to eat? Leftover Subway.

What's your favorite kind of oatmeal/porridge? None.

Have you ever ate a whole pizza in one sitting? No.

What are some things you are grateful for? My boyfriend's family. My condition being mostly mild lately. My dinosaur of a PC. Being able to afford to feed our daughter the 9809334 berries per day that she eats.

What's the last thing you done while outside? Walk with the kiddo.

How often do you do laundry? Every few days.

Have you already had your birthday this year? No. It's in September.

Last thing you done before this survey? I started to exercise and then gave upppp. First weekday I've skipped since I started. I'm feeling super angry and frustrated right now.

Do you like sleeping with multiple pillows? Yes. Ever since I was pregnant, I need one for my head and one for each side of my body.

How many candles do you have in your bedroom? None.

What emojis have you used the most here recently? :)

What color is your favorite shirt? I don't have one.

Do you currently smell food cooking? No.

If you were given $1,000 to spend at one store. What's your store of choice? Old Navy.

How much sugar do you consume on a daily basis? Not much.

Do you have any ice cream in your freezer? Probably. That's my boyfriend's favourite treat.

What's the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word "chaos"? Twitch streams.

Do you own anything that has an animated character on it? I have a toddler so yessssss.

Have you used a microwave today? We don't have one.

What's the last book you read? One of the Bridgerton ones. I think To Sir Phillip, With Love.

What's something that always makes you cringe? Not sure.

What's a word or phrase you say a lot? Not sure.

What's something that always makes you emotional? When my daughter says "I wuv you". When something big/interesting/confusing happens and I want to call my mom but I can't.

How many times have you changed clothes today? Once. PJs to day time clothes.

What's on your mind currently? I'm feeling super stressed about our neighbour situation right now. I hate that my daughter can't play in our yard without breathing in their cigarette smoke. They literally smoke from morning until night and it's sooooo freaking frustrating.

In what ways have you changed over the past year? My mom died. I've been trying really hard to take care of myself. I've changed a lot, I think.

Do you really care about others opinions of you? A little.

What's your favorite pasta? Fusili.

Do you currently see anything yellow? A toy dump truck.

What did you last try to do and failed? Exercise today lol.

Does your bathroom have a certain theme or color scheme? Blue, turquoise & white.

If you have Netflix or any streaming service.. what's your favorite shows to stream? We're watching New Girl on Disney atm.

Are you currently wearing anything red? No.

What was the last thing that caught your eye while shopping? Not sure.

What's a social media site you have no interest in? Twitter.

Have you ever tripped and fallen in a public place? For sure.

When did you last buy a dairy product? Yesterday morning.

What's the last song you sang out loud? Something by Raffi.