#i've been meaning to kind of talk about a bit more!
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https://dailycollegian.com/2023/12/there-is-no-bad-person-disease/#:~:text=There's%20no%20health%20condition%20that,do%20with%20your%20overall%20morality (not sure the links I've given are functional but y'all can copy them into your search bar anyway)
People with NPD are capable of apologizing for past behavior, admitting to weakness, sacrificing themselves, showing others respect and decency, they can have morals and some of them (not all) are capable of empathy which btw is not required in order to do something heroic- also it's possible to act heroic for selfish reasons. they have fragile egos and often can have complexes (like ya know a guilt complex that makes them an overly self sacrificing martyrs) I'm sorry tony being a good person/attempting to be better doesn't negate him from having the 'evil' cluster B personality disorder. Tony's self importance doesn't manifest as being cruel or outwardly selfish it manifests in his guilt complex and playing hero. His belief that he is special fuels his guilt further. He's a perfectionist.
"I expect more of myself than everyone else. I have to be perfect or I'm useless." - a diagnosed narcissist
He is cold and dismissive and he can brag a lot. He's a functional narcissist so he's not gonna freak out when criticized. It's almost like narcissistic people are people and are complex and aren't so solely just a bunch of negative symptoms and traits of their disorder. He's also got several disorders that are comorbid with NPD such as substance abuse disorder and he has an avoidant attachment style- perhaps to protect his own ego and cope with childhood trauma. He used to exploit others heavily and is kind of a toxic boss. He was rejected, and neglected by his father and praised for intelligence so much as a child and had to deal with a lot trauma before getting kidnapped by terrorists. All of the traumas he faced are common in people with npd
tony displays: arrogance, haughty behaviors, and attitudes. a grandiose sense of self-importance. a lack of empathy or an unwillingness to identify with the needs of others and behavior that is exploitative and takes advantage of others to achieve their own ends. It doesn't manifest as outright cruelty like I said his grandiose sense of importance actually motivates him as a hero and makes his ego weaker though he's functioning so he can still take a blow
I am mainly going based off the comics and I'm aware that the MCU tones him down quite a bit but he still displays some of these traits.
I remember back then when autism was also just a lost of negative traits/symptoms a school counselor would point to 'an autistic person have no empathy and are completely rigid and black and white in their worldview, they will break down over dumb things are violent etc' being autistic when I was kid didn't mean you were a kid with a disability it meant you were a brat and a burnout. It meant you were unhygienic and aggressive and RIGID- which according to way too many people meant robot control freak rather than seeking comfort in things like routine and lacking the skills/intellectual capacity needed to function outside of them or they have panic attacks when taken out their routine and ya know aren't being manipulative and are having involuntary emotional responses- and I would hear autism parents complain about their kids and i would hear adults raised by autistic people talk about the scars they had been left with and they deserved to vent because yeah it can be traumatic and stressful and they are victims but it became something ugly toward me. People with cluster B personality disorders have it way worse than I ever did (dear god they get criminalized) but I relate for a reason. I like characters like Tony because they have traits associated with stigmatized disorders and shows those traits in action vs how we envision them when hear about the disorder- when you hear self important you automatically assume it means selfish and don't realize how complex and different that trait can look across the board and we get to see that they are complex and capable and even good people. I know not everyone has to agree with the headcanon and I understand why many of Tony's fans get mad at this headcanon but you don't have the best knowledge of NPD I'm guessing. People hear traits like entitled and interested in success and power and automatically think of the worst case scenario- megalomania and taking whatever they want no matter the cost and don't see how those traits can manifest in a variety of ways and not all them are destructive. Your statement apply to some not all narcissists. I don't know if you have trauma and if you do I'm sorry if this reads as cold or mean but I really hate when people talk about personality disorders like this. Npd can manifest in a variety of ways
"everyone is different" yeah including freaking narcissists that wasn't a gotcha. Your statement was legitimately ableist
everyone who says that tony is a narcissist has probably never met a narcissist but as someone who lived with one for Fifteen Fucking Years I can tell u that he isn't even close to one
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Loyal & True
A/N: I wrote something a little unorthodox, but it's been stuck in my brain like a splinter for over a year now, so I had to do it. This is a modern AU where Elvis is in a fraternity. This one is purely my fantasy, but I hope at least a few of you will get a kick out of it. It's pretty entertaining, if nothing else.
Warnings: 18+ minors DNI, typical smut, kissing, fingering, oral sex (both receiving), penetrative sex, unprotected sex, creampie, but also they drink a lot of alcohol and smoke at one point.
Word count: ~4.4k
“Hey, honey, are you new here?��� Elvis takes a sip from the beer he's holding in a red Solo cup. He cringes a bit at the taste. It doesn't matter how long he's in the fraternity, he'll never get used to the taste of cheap beer and he'll definitely never like it. You, on the other hand, he likes immediately.
“Oh, um, yeah. I'm thinking of going through rush, so my roommate thought I should experience a frat party as a means to convince me.” He smiles and it almost takes your breath away. How on earth is he so attractive?
“And are you convinced yet?” He takes another sip, but you suppress a giggle. It's obvious he doesn't like what he's drinking.
“Not really. The beer is cheap and the music could be better.” He laughs, appreciating your honesty. He's so used to girls who fall all over themselves to try to sleep with him that your bold truth is refreshing. Setting his cup on the counter, he nods.
“The beer is cheap, I'll give you that. We'll address that at the next chapter meeting, I assure you.” He's kidding, but you don't know enough about Greek life to know that.
“Y'all really talk about beer at meetings?” He laughs.
“Not at all. It was a joke. You really are new here, aren't ya?”
“I really am. I'm not sure this whole scene is for me.” He steps back and looks you up and down.
“You look like you fit in. But you also don't look like a freshman.”
“I'm not. I spent two years at a junior college and this is my second year here.”
“Why are you thinking of going through rush now?” You take a sip of the beer and then set yours next to his on the counter, making a face.
“That really is bad. I need friends. And I've heard it looks good on a resume.”
“Well, you're not wrong about that.”
“Just not sure I'm ready to buy my friends.” He clicks his tongue and looks at you disapprovingly.
“That's not what this is at all. You're paying for opportunities. The rest is up to you.”
“Mmm. That's an interesting way to think of it.” There's a small lull in the conversation, but he's not ready to move on from you.
“What kind of music would you prefer?” He asks and you laugh.
“I'm more of a classic rock girl. Think like Kansas, Boston, the Eagles, Elton John, things like that.” His eyes go wide and he tries not to smile like an idiot.
“You're a girl after my own heart. I agree. But this music is better for a party.”
“Why do you say that?” He smirks.
“Come on.” You raise your eyebrows and take the hand that he offers you, following him out to the dance floor.
“I really don't-”
“Just try it.” He puts his hand on your lower back and pulls you in close to him. Thankfully, the music is loud, so he doesn't hear you gasp a little when he puts his hands on your hips and starts to move you with him to the beat. You've never danced like this in public before, much less with a guy. “You're too stiff. Relax, baby.”
“I'm trying…” He pulls back and looks at you.
“Here, come with me.” You take his hand again as he leads you to the kitchen. It amazes you how many people say hi to him as you walk together. He introduces you to everyone, but there's no way you'll be able to remember all the names. The first time he realizes he doesn't know your name, but once you say it, he doesn't forget it. Eventually, you get back to the kitchen and he goes to a cabinet, pulling a bottle of liquor down from the top of it. “We need shots.”
You smile and nod. That sounds like exactly what you need. He comes up with two shot glasses and pours one for each of you.
“What is this?” He grins.
“Peanut butter whiskey.” Your mouth pops open. You didn't know there was such a thing.
“It's good, I promise. Cheers.” He taps his shot glass against yours and then throws back the brown liquor. You nod and do the same. You're no stranger to shots and this one is actually really good. “I was right, huh?”
“Yeah, it's really good.”
“You want another?”
“Hell yeah, I do.” He grins again and pours two more shots. This time, you do them together and put your glasses down at the same time. “That stuff is dangerous.”
“Why? You feelin’ like you might make a bad decision?” He smirks down at you mischievously. The whiskey is starting to go to your head, so you giggle.
“Mayyybe. Come on, let's dance.” He's surprised, but he doesn't argue as you take his hand and practically drag him back to the dance floor. Truthfully, you just want an excuse to press up against him again.
When you get back to the dance floor, it doesn't take long for you both to settle into a rhythm of grinding against each other to the beat. You start out facing each other, but before too long he turns you and you go to work rubbing your ass against his crotch. You're not sure what's come over you, but it's like you've been living for this moment and you've had just enough alcohol to lower your inhibitions. He holds your hips and guides your motions against him. As the tension builds, his lips find your neck and he starts to press soft kisses just below your ear. For a bit, you reach back and grab the back of his hair as he continues kissing your neck. Before too long, though, you turn to face him. He looks into your eyes for about half a second and then dives in, crashing his lips into yours in a wildly passionate kiss. He pulls your hips in tight against his and you feel his hardness where it strains against his pants. Your arms are around his neck and somehow he still sways a little to the music as his tongue explores your mouth. His hands start to roam as the kiss reaches a fever pitch and he pulls back breathlessly.
“Air. We need air.” You're a little disappointed, but he leads you off the dance floor again and out to a large patio. He pulls a small cigar out of his pocket and you pull out a cigarette. Wrapping himself around you from behind, he lights yours first and then his. You take a drag and lean back against his chest.
“You didn't want to dance anymore?” You ask, wondering why he'd stopped you when he did. He blows out a puff of smoke and whispers in your ear.
“A gentleman doesn't fuck a lady on the dance floor.” You giggle as he kisses your neck before taking another puff of his cigar.
“No? But he’ll fuck her on the patio?” Now it's his turn to laugh.
“No, baby. Not out here either.” You smoke for a bit in silence, enjoying the feeling of his arms around you.
“What's your major?” You ask, just wanting to hear the sound of his voice again.
“Audio engineering. Yours?”
“English literature.”
“Ah. Music and lyrics. We make sense together.” You're a little surprised that he'd mention anything about you being together, but the idea intrigues you.
“Hey, how does everyone know you?” You ask, finishing your cigarette and turning in his arms to face him. He takes another puff of his cigar, before putting it out and slipping what's left of it back into his pocket.
“I'm the president.” Your mouth drops open.
“You're shittin’ me.”
“I assure you; I'm not. I'm the president of the fraternity.” You laugh a little.
“Wow. I have university royalty wrapped around me right now.” He chuckles.
“That's right. You better enjoy it.” You smile as he leans down and kisses you gently. He's more tender than you expected. You really thought these frat guys all had one thing in mind, but he's so sweet and soft. Maybe it's all an act, but it feels real. You kiss him deeply and roll your hips against his. He moans softly and holds you tight for a second. “Honey, I'm happy to keep just kissin’ you on the patio. But if you want more, we need to go to my room.”
“Sir! I am a lady.” You protest, feigning innocence. He smiles and kisses your cheek, whispering in your ear.
“My apologies, dear. I guess I got confused when you kept rubbing yourself on me.” You giggle and snuggle into his chest in a gesture that's far too intimate for your circumstances, but seems appropriate nonetheless. He obviously doesn't mind as he sets his chin on your head and wraps his arms around you a little tighter. “I'm not usually like this.”
“Like what?” You pull back to look up into his face.
“Affectionate. I mean, I am, but not to this extent. I'm usually more… goal-oriented…” He tries to hide a smirk.
“That's a cute way to say you're usually focused on sex.” You raise your eyebrows.
“Well, I'm just usually not this content to cuddle on a patio, we'll say that.” Somehow, your eyebrows go even higher.
“So you don't want to have sex with me?” He closes his eyes and leans his head back.
“Man, I really set myself up here.” You giggle and he bites his bottom lip, looking back down at you. “Honey, I'd take you upstairs in a heartbeat if that's what you wanted. But if it's not, I'm not walking away. And that's the different part. I'm not walking away.”
He leans into you and presses his forehead against yours. You close your eyes and revel in the closeness, confused by how you can feel this connected after an hour at a noisy frat party.
You're in this position when one of the guys sticks his head out the door and hollers.
“Yo, Presley. We're up on beer pong. You ready?” Elvis grumbles a bit and then unwraps himself from around you, hollering back at the guy at the door.
“Shit. I forgot I signed up for that. Yeah, I'm comin’!” He turns back to you and smiles. “You wanna play? You can be my partner. Scotty can play with someone else.”
“I've never played before, but sure, I can try.” You look up at Elvis sweetly. The guy that you're assuming is Scotty laughs, gesturing to both of you.
“Awesome. I'll play against you two.” You take Elvis's hand and make your way back into the party behind Scotty. The guys get the cups set up and fill them with beer and you wrinkle your nose.
“I'm not drinkin’ that.” Elvis grabs you around the waist and kisses your cheek.
“I'll drink it, baby.”
“She has to drink something! House rules. Everybody drinks.” Elvis rolls his eyes at Scotty and then looks back at you.
“I made that rule. I guess I have to follow it. What do you want?”
“Bring me a glass of whiskey and I'll sip it.” Elvis looks at you like he could kiss you and Scotty laughs again.
“Damn, sweetheart, you keep this up and he's likely to marry you.” You giggle to cover up the way your stomach flip-flops and Elvis pushes Scotty's shoulder. He doesn't contradict him, though, as he walks into the kitchen, leaving you in the room with the guys. You make small talk until he comes back with your drink. He hands it to you and then goes into game mode.
“Okay, honey, now just focus on the cups and try to get a nice arch on it. If you feel like you can keep the ball out of the cup by blowing on it, try it. You can swat it if they bounce it and if you make a bounce that's three cups. We get two re-racks.”
“Yeah, I'm never gonna remember all that. I'm not even sure that was English.” He laughs and kisses your forehead.
“Let's just play. I'll help you.” The game begins and you're surprised both at how good Elvis is and how competitive he is. He tries so hard to be patient with you as you learn, but it's clear that he's in hell when you're losing by two cups. They're down to one cup and you have three left and Elvis is about to pull his hair out.
“I'm sorry…” You whisper. He turns and wraps you in his arms.
“No, baby, it's okay. I'm okay.” You pull his mouth down to yours and kiss him softly. He smiles against your lips and relaxes significantly. The guys all look at each other with their eyebrows raised. They've never seen their president like this with a girl.
“Y'all gonna shoot, or just make out?” Scotty asks sarcastically. Without taking his eyes off of you, Elvis bounces the ping pong ball on the table and it goes directly into the front cup. The room goes crazy as the guys clap and cuss and cheer.
“Okay, now baby if you make this, we win.” He looks you in the eye and you nod. You turn and he puts his hands on your hips, pressing himself up behind you. “Just relax. You got this.”
Closing your eyes, you take a deep breath, open your eyes and shoot. It feels like the ball moves in slow motion as the whole room watches it. And then, to everyone’s shock, it lands square in the same front cup that Elvis's did.
You'd think you had won the Olympics with the way the guys lose their minds. Elvis grabs you and spins you around, peppering your face with kisses. When he finally puts you down, you have to high five pretty much everyone in the room, including Scotty, who gives you a nod of respect. After what feels like way too long, the guys calm down and start to set up for the next game.
In all the commotion, Elvis grabs your hand and drags you back to the living room where everyone is dancing and settles you onto a couch in a corner of the room. It's too loud to talk and between the whiskey and beer, you don't really want to anyway. He's been dying to get his hands on you again and you'd be lying if you said you weren't craving him like a drug. You sit next to him and turn, throwing your legs over his thigh. He tips your face up to his with his finger and looks into your eyes before leaning in to press his lips against yours softly. After a few more soft kisses, he runs his tongue along your bottom lip and you part yours, deepening the kiss. His tongue dips into your mouth, tasting you, and before you know it, you're straddling his lap, grinding against him as he has one hand in your hair and the other creeping up your thigh, his fingertips under the edge of your skirt where it has ridden up. You moan softly as his thumb grazes your inner thigh, just inches from where you really want him to touch you. He pulls back for a second and just looks at you before burying his face in your neck, kissing and sucking and nipping the sensitive skin there. In this moment, you're the most beautiful woman he's ever seen and he's overwhelmed with the desire to keep you. It's an urge he's never felt before, but it's strong now as he works a spot on your collarbone with his mouth. You spread your legs wider and press your dripping wet center against his hard cock, moaning with the pressure and friction. Both of his hands run back to your ass and pull you in tighter against him. You whimper as you rub your clothed pussy on him, desperate for more. You've never wanted anyone as much as you want him right now. He moves his mouth back up to your ear and moans.
“Fuck, baby. We gotta go upstairs.” You nod frantically as he kisses you again, his thumb running over the wet spot on your panties. “Before I fuck you right here on this couch.”
“I wouldn't say no.” You whimper and nibble on his earlobe.
“You can't say shit like that, baby.” He squeezes your hips with his hands and then lifts you a bit. “Come on.”
You back off of him and stand up as he adjusts his dick under his belt and then leads you to the stairs. On the landing at the top of the staircase, he kisses you again, grabbing the back of your thighs to wrap your legs around his waist. He carries you to the door at the end of the hall and then kicks it open, slamming it behind himself. You moan loudly as he turns and presses you up against it, rolling his hips so that his cock is rubbing on your center again. The whole time, his tongue is in your mouth, sliding against yours as you kiss wildly. Your hands are in the back of his hair and he holds your ass in both of his palms.
“I need to taste you, baby. Can I?” You whimper and nod as he puts your feet back on the floor and sinks to his knees. He lifts your shirt and kisses your stomach while you roll your hips forward sensually. You've never been this turned on in your life and you're desperate for more of him. He pulls your skirt and panties down and removes your shoes, leaving your whole bottom half naked. “Mmm… let me see this pretty little pussy.”
He puts one of your thighs on his shoulder and looks at you dripping with arousal.
“So pretty.” Without another thought, he leans forward and licks you, pushing his tongue in you as deep as it'll go.
“Fuck. Elvis…” You gasp and moan as he goes to work licking your clit and fucking you with his tongue. Eventually, he brings his mouth up to focus on your sensitive bud and slides two fingers up into you, curling and then pumping them. You feel your orgasm gather in your hips as he sucks lightly on your clit and then licks over it in tantalizingly slow circles.
“I can feel you, baby, you're so close. Let go and cum for me.” You've never had a man bring you to a climax this quickly or this easily before and something inside you reaches out to him as your release hits you, flooding your body with electricity and ecstatic pleasure. He groans, tonguing you through your orgasm as you shudder and pulse on his fingers. The look on your face, the little sounds you make, the way you taste, it all makes him want to do this for you forever. “You're so pretty, baby, so sexy when you cum for me. Was that good?”
“God-fuck-Elvis, yes!” You struggle to make words happen and he pulls back, smiling, his lips and chin glistening. He stands up and strips off your shirt, yanking your bra off and tossing it across the room. For a second, he just lets his eyes run over your body before he reaches out and gently drags his thumb over your nipple.
“So beautiful.” He murmurs, drinking you in and holding you in his mind. There's something particularly sexy about being naked while he's fully clothed. It makes you feel like some kind of nymph or goddess as he stares and touches you softly.
“I want to see you.” You run your hands up under his shirt and he lets you push it over his head and off. He drops it on the floor and you press soft kisses to his chest. Your hands drift to his belt buckle and he sucks in a breath as you undo it and the button and zipper on his pants. It surprises you that he's not wearing underwear when you see the tufts of brown hair in the opening of his slacks. Now it's your turn to drop to your knees, pulling his cock free and pumping it with your hand a few times. He groans and leans his head back.
“Feels good, baby.” He whimpers as you lean forward and lick a circle around the exposed head of his dick. When you pull him fully into your mouth, he damn near doubles over on top of you. Your oral skills are impressive and he bites his bottom lip and moans, trying not to completely lose control. “Fuckkkkk.”
You bounce on his cock and then press your nose into the tufts of brown hair as you take him deep in your throat. It makes your eyes water, but the strangled sound he makes when you do it is worth it. You continue working him with your hand and mouth for a bit until you feel his stomach tense and know he's getting close. That's when you pull back and stand up, kissing his chest again. He pushes his pants off the rest of the way and kicks off his shoes until he's as naked as you are. For a bit, you just stand there taking each other in. You've both had sex before, plenty of it, but something about this feels special and important. Finally, he reaches out and takes your hand, walking with you to the bed. Suddenly, he feels very vulnerable, like this is his first time again. He settles you on the bed and then lies down next to you, running his hand over your stomach.
“I'm sorry. I just got suddenly nervous.” He chuckles a bit and kisses your lips.
“Me too. Why does this feel so…?”
“Important?” He finishes your sentence and you nod.
“Yeah, that's exactly it.” You look into his eyes as he presses his hand to the side of your face, rubbing his thumb on your cheek.
“I think maybe this matters, maybe we matter.”
“I think so.”
“I don't wanna fuck you, baby.” Your eyebrows pull together in concern. “I want to make love to you.”
You relax into him as he moves on top of you, pressing kisses to your forehead and cheeks. He grinds his hips against yours and you feel the tip of his cock on your clit. You moan softly as he rearranges his hips a bit to line up with your entrance. Spreading your legs a little, you grant him access and give him permission to push into you. He slowly moves his hips forward, entering you gently, almost lovingly. You arch your back as he groans with the sensation of your tight wetness wrapping around him.
“God, baby. We fit together like a lock and key.” He rests his head on your shoulder as he fills you fully, stopping to give you time to adjust. But it's not really necessary as you do seem to fit together perfectly. He pulls his hips back, sliding out of you, and then rolls them forward again, pushing deep inside you.
Sex has never felt like this before for either of you. The physical sensations are heightened by the emotional connection you've created in the time since he first approached you. It's happened fast, but there's something a little undeniable about the two of you.
“Elvis… this… I…” You can't seem to find words to express what you're feeling as he picks up a slow and steady rhythm of sliding in and out of you.
“I know, baby.” He captures your lips in a deep kiss and then rolls onto his back, pulling you with him. You sit up and arch your back, swirling your hips around so that you push his dick even deeper inside you. His hands go to your breasts and he squeezes gently before running them down your sides to your hips. You let him guide your movements for a bit and then lean forward, kissing his cheek as he starts to fuck into you from underneath. “Feels so goddamn good, honey. I never wanna stop.”
“I wish you wouldn't.” You kiss over to his mouth and dip your tongue between his lips. His pace becomes more erratic as his body tenses again, pulled tight as his climax builds in his balls.
“Fuck, baby, I'm gonna cum. Can I-”
“Yes. Don't pull out. I'm on the pill.” He nods and kisses you again as his hips snap upwards to meet yours over and over again.
“Shit.” He whispers through gritted teeth just before he slams into you one last time and his cock throbs and twitches, filling you with his release. You lay on his chest and he wraps his arms around you, kissing your forehead. “That was incredible, honey.”
“It really was. Elvis…” He looks down at you inquisitively.
“What is it, baby?”
“Nothing. It's nothing.” You look down and he pushes a strand of hair behind your ear, tipping your chin to look into his eyes.
“It's not nothing. I think I know what you're trying to say.”
“You do?”
“Yes, and it's insane.” You nod and settle into the crook of his arm as he kisses each of your fingertips. At first, you're a little hurt that he'd call you insane, but that quickly changes with what he says next. “It’s crazy, but I don't care. I love you.”
You look up at him with your eyes wide and wet and he caresses your cheek.
“I love you too, Elvis.” You snuggle in as close to him as you can, your fingers rubbing over his chest hair gently.
“Will you stay with me?” He whispers. You think to yourself that he'll never get rid of you now.
“Tonight?” You ask innocently and he nods, still kissing your fingertips.
“Yeah… or… like… until we die?” He says the last part quietly, like he's not sure he wants to hear your response. You giggle and kiss his shoulder.
“Until we die. I like that idea.” He relaxes a bit and kisses your neck.
“Good. Me too.”
******
The End
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Taglist:
@ccab @atleastpleasetelephone @aliypop @18lkpeters @dkayfixates @tacozebra051 @your-nanas-house @joshuntildawn13 @lookingforrainbows @60svintage @littlehoneyposts @epthedream69 @louisejoy86 @rjmartin11 @from-memphis-with-love @deltafalax @cinnamoroll-things @burnthheparaphilia @jhoneybees @cattcb @everythingelvispresley @returntopresley @searchingforgravity @msamarican @angschrof @lustnhim @polksaladava @librababe99 @hooked-on-elvis @theelvisprincess @makethemorning @peaceloveelvis @mrspresley69
#elvis presley#elvis#elvis presley fanfiction#elvis fanfic#elvis presley fic#elvis smut#elvis fanfiction#elvis fic#elvis presley smut#elvis presley x reader#elvis x y/n#elvis x you#elvis presley fanfic#elvis presley x y/n#elvis presley x you
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Miscommunication
Rodimus x Human Reader, Drift x Ratchet x Human Reader
Summary: After Rodimus tried looping you into something you really weren't into, you sought out your other partners to complain about his reveal of character.
Word Count: 1,128
AN: NSFW suggestive talk, no outright smut. Also hi this is my first tf writing soooo lmk what your thoughts are, i love comments. I'm already working on a reader insert series and wanted to start with a few one off bits. Enjoy! tagging valveplug just in case.
Drift looked up when you entered the medbay, his greeting dying on his glossa as his field just PINGED with the waves of displeasure coming off you.
“Jeez… what's got you all wound up, huh?” He straightened his backstuts as he stood up more from the desk he leaned over, messing with Ratchet temporarily set aside.
You hissed a rush of words under your breath as you strutted in, something that he couldn't TELL what was said but he understood it wasn't very polite. Even the older medic bot lifted his head to address you.
“I only managed to make out Rodimus in all that. What did our oh so brilliant captain do to piss you off?”
“I thought this whole time we were leading up to something… fun. But it turns out I misread every step. He thinks he's BETTER than me.”
“He's the captain, he is better than you.”
You whipped your head around to glare at Ratchet. “Better enough that I deserve to clean the dirt off his kibble with my tongue?? Because I feel that's pretty fucking degrading.”
Both bots stilled, and the medic's “Wait, what-” was interrupted by Drift stalling briefly and talking over him. “That doesn't sound at ALL like something Roddy would say.”
“I thought so, too.” You huffed before your attitude melted into something a bit sadder. “I mean… I've been flirting with him for so long, and he's been receptive towards it. You even told me he said he likes me. So I don't know where this came from…”
Groaning, you put your face in your hands, and idly Ratchet patted your back while working (and half listening).
“I didn't even think that would be a thing with you guys, making someone tongue-polish your like, plating and stuff.”
“That sounds like something Megatron would have had Starscream do back in the day,” Ratchet groused, making Drift mock gagging.
“I'm going to purge my tank, don't make me think about those two like that.” A shudder wracked the ex ‘con's frame. “Eugh. No it's not really a thing with us. Is…is it a human thing?”
“Ah…” The question made you pause to think. “Not… really? I mean, kind of. It's usually an extremely exaggerated form of punishment from someone who wants to uh… show superiority while demeaning the other. Though it's shoes or boots for us, not armor spikes. The idea is to polish the dirtiest article of clothing with their tongue - or glossa - so they feel... sub-human. Though there's always exceptions, and some people are into that kinda thing as like, a kink? But it's really not…what I'm looking for.” You wince.
….Ratchet paused his comforting as he listened, before turning to look you over. “Hold on, back up. Armor spikes… kid, what did Rodimus say to you?”
Drift leaned over the autobot's shoulder, studying you closely. The samurai looked both confused…and disbelieving.
Alright, fine then.
“He said ‘Y’know… Maybe you can put that glossa of yours to use and… clean my spikes with it.’” They let out a grumble. “I didn't peg him for the degrading type…”
The two mechs went oddly quiet and still.
“Spikes… plural?” Drift pressed.
You thought back more, mulling the memory over, of the captain of the Lost Light leering down at you with that heated smirk and his thumb on your cheek…and shook your head.
“No, sorry. Just spike.”
“PFFT-”
You looked up to see Drift looking away, one of his servos clamped over his intake as he cackled. His limbs shook and he held onto Ratchet to steady himself. The medic was looking away, face buried in his hands. His shoulders shook.
He was also laughing at you.
“What. WHAT! HEY?? HELLO!!”
“Kid…Kid, Sp..spike is another term we have for plug.” Ratchet mumbled out. Still laughing. Very much laughing at you. His words caused Drift to wheeze and bend over, his vents stuttering as he cackled.
“He was asking you to interface finally and you totally missed it..!! Oh Primus help me, what did you say? What did you say, tell me. Please, it has to be good.”
Your face got warm as you thought of the fact that you had finally gotten Rodimus interested enough he would make a bold pass. Your face was hot when you realized you had totally missed his signals. Your face was practically on fire when it clicked just how badly you fumbled the whole interaction.
“I… I said Ew, no thanks. And came here-”
“THAAAAHAHAATS THE WORST THING YOU C-COOOHOULD HAVE SAID!!! AAAHAHAGHA OH PRIMUS-”
“Frag me, kid you did not-”
There was no saving you. Both mechs were now openly laughing at your misery. Your face buried in your hands you mumbled out a weak “How was I supposed to know!” that only made Drift start losing it all over again.
After some time (Ten. Minutes.) the two much larger beings had settled, Ratchet returning to his work and chuckling on occasion while Drift…pestered you over your absolute dropping of the ball.
“I can't believe this. I'm almost scared to flirt with you now because you may not get it!”
“Driiiiift…!” You whined, the cheeky samurai squeezing your hips. “Let me go, I want to jettison myself out of the airlock.”
“Not a chance!! I mean I want to make sure if I tell you I wanna have you eat my valve from the back that you aren't going to mistake it for me, say, threatening to mug you or something.”
Your face was bright red. “Drift!!”
“Or, oh man, if I tell you I want to slot my plug between your thighs, maybe you'll think I'm wanting you to-”
“RATCHET! DRIFT IS BULLYING ME AGAIN!” Complaining loudly, you squirmed in Drift's hold while eyeing his Conjux, displeased and humiliated and hoping the medic would scold him or something.
Ratchet barely spared you a glance with his optics as he continued his inventory count. He was literally busy and not paying attention to you two.
“Between words from attractive mechs, manhandling, and something almost too big to go in, you enjoy being bullied, and all of us here are very aware of it,” drawled the grouch's response.
You stared at him, mouth dropped open in shock and WORSE embarrassment at how he called your bullshit out. All while Drift began cackling all over again.
—
You stared up at the habisuite door, staring at the imposing metal barrier of captain Rodimus Prime's personal chambers. Your stomach twisted in knots nervously, your palms somewhat sweaty as you raised a fist and knocked hard, twice. Mentally, you prepared your apology as you heard shuffling and the soft clank of pedes across a metal floor.
God, you hoped the mech thought stupid was hot.
#transformers x human#transformers x reader#drift x reader#ratchet x reader#rodimus x reader#valveplug#tf x human#tf x reader#reader insert
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this is the third installment of my series of posts analyzing the arcane s2 intro!!! go to the tag "arcane intro analysis" for the previous posts. remember, SPOILERS FOR ACT 1!!!
okay. let's get into it. again.
it's time for the beat drop!!! and hoooh boy.
one thing i really love about s2's intro is that it plays with the lighting in a very specific and very meaningful way. with ekko you can see his shadows are like the hands of a clock which alludes to his time ability; with jinx and vi in the beginning the light highlights parts of their faces to emphasize how the season will change them; the list goes on.
with this part, jinx has four shadows. in a literal interpretation of this, it means she's splitting apart. it means she's losing which parts of herself are powder and which parts are jinx, and which ones are something else entirely.
or maybe, alternatively, she finally realizes the different parts of herself and accepts them, kind of finding herself in a way. waving the flag of revolution, with hope in her eyes. the strip of light flies across her determined face and i LOVE that detail. especially the way the orange and blue lights combat, but compliment, each other.
OKAY ONTO THE VI AND CAIT SCENE OH MY GOODNESS🔥🔥🔥
this is the best screenshot i've ever taken. anyway
at first it's just vi, and it focuses on her face, probably to emphasize the smudged tattoo, reminding us of her loss of identity.
but then it focuses on vi and cait. and cait is shrouded in darkness save for just a couple of frames (it was hell trying to pause at the right time to catch it).
i think this means that vi will begin to see her as a ghost, as nothing more than a silhouette. caitvi divorce arc is gonna go so damn hard.
at first i saw the kiss-then-push-away bit as them butting heads, but then i realized that it makes more sense for them to repel each other, like oil and water. oh, the misery...
but then i was thinking about it. and i realized, it can be both.
with cait becoming a dictator, vi and her will probably indirectly do things that contradict the other, or thwart the other's efforts. they will be butting heads in arc 2, maybe even arc 3. or maybe i'm wrong about that, but i doubt it.
moooving on- we've all talked about this screenshot!
caitlyn's shadow becoming the silhouette of a monarch, her fingers seeming to have blood on them. her being in clear distress, going utterly mad because of the weight of the crown on her head. been there, done that. genius use of lights and shadows in my opinion.
and, oh, before i finish off this installment, let me just point out how much of a punch-to-the-gut the parallel here is. (or, rather, the butt of a gun to the gut. yeah i'm sorry)
in s1 caitlyn was everything she wanted to be. now? she's afraid, angry, confused, stressed to high hell. a dictator, an enforcer of the system she wanted to change. she's everything she swore to destroy, for lack of a better phrase.
once again image limit is forcing me to continue this series of posts. and even if i could add another image, the pacing of this analysis would get really weird. there should only be one more, so stay tuned! once again the tag for the other parts is "arcane intro analysis". happy reading if you made it this far!
#arcane intro analysis#arcane intro#arcane#arcane s2#arcane spoilers#arcane s2 spoilers#caitlyn kiramman#caitlyn arcane#vi arcane#vi#caitvi#jinx#jinx arcane#arcane analysis#arcane theories#waffles word wall#waffles analyzes things
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i've been very excited to post this but here are my ocs haha!! meet lune, cecilia, nox, and aster!
close ups, more info, and a more detailed relationship chart under the cut! this is gonna be a long post haha. there's also some more info about rowan!
cecilia's twin (he's the older twin) ((by two minutes. lol))
the type to go “here to here, i’ll buy it all”
he's got a temper
possessive, devoted, and jealous yandere
people think he's a tad bit insane (and he's self aware mostly,,)
gets into fights often
“want me to kill that guy for you?” (he’s serious btw)
he’s not nice lmao, but to you he is (in his own special way of course..!)
kind of like a cat who will proudly leave dead rats and leaves on your doorstep as a gift bc it thinks you can’t hunt for yourself
hates nox LMFAO
difficult to approach at first but once you get close he won’t ever let you go.
extroverted
LOUD. someone shut him up, this mf does NOT stop yapping bro
annoying as hell and he doesn’t know that lmao
if he absolutely has to, he’ll behave. but it's... odd
constantly needs to be doing something or he’ll get bored lol
has a bit of a sweet tooth (typical)
Bastard (not literally)
played the piano when he was younger with his sister, but he hated playing it
bad terms with his family except for cecilia
huge rebellious streak
shockingly will not kidnap you! everyone already knows you’re his, and he’s yours. and he won’t let anyone get in between you two. yay..!
hates it when you don’t pay attention to him (will absolutely start sulking too)
he’s impulsive but he’s not completely reckless
you probs shouldn’t trust him too much though he has good (????) intentions lol
seems silly (debatable really) but he’s dangerous.
half of the things he says sound like jokes but trust me, he means it. he’d do anything and everything for you, don’t forget!
shockingly pouty and whiny, only in front of you though
him and cecilia have matching bracelets from when they were younger which they both wear to this day
he’s oblivious as fuck, and an idiot
lune's twin (she's younger)
normal (somewhat) ((not really))
sweet and friendly
really likes giving gifts to people she cares about
jumps to conclusion and freaks out easily, but she’s subtle about it
constantly stressed (lune is her brother, so… i get it)
introverted (runs on a social battery)
says things without thinking sometimes
people pleaser
awkward as hell tbh, but it’s really not obvious because she’s good at putting on a front
kinda has the ”””””princely””””” persona (i didnt know how to describe that better lmao
has abandonment issues
girlfail tbh
hardworking
shes really protective of her loved ones
likes cute things
has issues with her family but still talks to them (lune does NOT)
on really good terms with lune, they’re very close (even though he’s a huge troublemaker that stresses the shit out of her) ((if he fucks around too much she’ll give him a good smack))
packs a good punch
SENSITIVE…
potential yandere? still not too sure if i’ll make her a fully fledged yan but she def has some of the traits lol
her and lune have matching bracelets from when they were younger! (she wears it everyday!)
she doesn’t mean to put on a front it just kinda happens automatically lmao
could kill someone... probably wouldnt tho
used to play the piano with lune, she still plays it now too (as a hobby)
cunning and annoying
def the type to kidnap you
oddly sweet (???)
but also ominous as hell
docile with the one he loves
isolating and manipulative yandere
dislikes lune
nice but you can tell he’s putting up a wall (with strangers and friends)
introverted
wouldn’t put stalking past him tbh
he’s the type that wants to know everything about you.
he has a tough time interacting with others. he feels awkward in social situations
the type to go to a party and spend the whole time petting the cat in the corner (he would not go to the party in the first place tho lmao)
he’s not misunderstood tho, he just can’t socialize and doesn’t really want to
grabs the end of your shirt in an awkward situation (its kinda cute)
takes time to open up, but when he falls for you, his love is so strong, it’s almost overwhelming. so just accept him, alright?
shittiest sleep schedule known to man, like srsly, what is bro doing
this man’s brain probs short circuits every 5 minutes LMFAO go to bed you idiot
really good with his words, very convincing
loves cats
hidden piercings
careful and patient
is really good at taking care of others (but he would only wanna take care of you) you’ll let him, won’t you?
startles easily lol
elf oc
ditzy and kind (to you)
bit of a mean streak (not to you!)
wants to appear princely in front of you
kinda stupid (a farce but not completely lol)
has a bit of a temper, but nothing too bad
clingy and cunning yandere
two faced
struggles with empathy (he tries, he’s not human, what’s he supposed to do!)
extroverted (?)
he’s really lonely
when he met you for the first time he was absolutely fascinated as he’s never interacted with a human being before!
BLUNT. he’s not used to convos… just give him some time!
at first it was simple curiosity, but that curiosity turned into something… deeper
he was completely alone before this, but now you’re here, and you’re going to stay, right?
is obsessed with the idea of you staying here with him forever, so why do you keep talking about going home? can’t you stay here?
but then you bring up the idea of him coming with you, well why didn’t you say that earlier! he's happy to come with you
It takes him some time to grasp certain concepts so please be patient with him, he’s not used to humans
he’s paranoid and hostile to other humans. it’s not fair, he wants all of your attention, so why is everyone trying to take you from him? he doesn’t like that everyone is getting in his way…
he’s terrified of bugs. will scream incredibly loudly if he sees one lol
he pulled you through a mirror, that’s how you ended up in his land
so if you wanna go back, just ask and he’ll take you!
gives you jewelry, expensive jewelry. (maybe he’s slipped on a ring before. haha. jk… unless..?)
prefers to stay inside your place because he really doesn’t like people who aren’t you lmao
don’t stray too far from him, okay? he’s always waiting for you
rowan (who i don't have a new drawing of rn </3 sorry!):
he absolutely hates not being a priority, so please don’t ignore him. please? he just wants you to love him.
clingy, devoted, and obsessive yandere
if you don’t reciprocate he might (unknowingly) try to guilt you into liking him back. will appear like a kicked puppy to really sell it (but it’s not an act lol he’s just like this)
at least his intentions are pure! (?????????) but is that better..?
if when (it will happen) you two end up together, he’ll give you the world if you’d asked for it
used to cut his own hair! :D (not great at it tho tbh)
very attentive and will work hard to keep you happy! just don’t forget that you’ll love only each other for the rest of your life. please don’t leave.
has tripped over nothing, will definitely happen again
here's the shitty relationship chart that i rushed </3 its very ugly im sorry HAHA
i really want to clarify that NONE of them will ever hurt you physically on purpose (they might have to pay up for emotional damages tho. they have your best interest in mind ig)
also i would say that they all share some traits like being clingy, devoted, possessive, obsessive, jealous, protective, and loyal. but if i specifically wrote it, it's probs just a bit more intense... just a bit,,, haha...
#num draws#oh hell yeah new tag time#lune posting#cecilia posting#nox posting#aster posting#rowan posting#technically lmao#yanderes#yandere oc#male yandere#yandere male#not tagging female yandere just yet </3#oc art#digital art#yandere#original character#i've been really excited to post this#i mean i know it might not get a huge response#but i really wanted to introduce them#and i do hope you like them!#i'm really bad at writing characters too so please be patient with me and hopefully i'll soon improve :]#if you have any questions about them at all PLEASE don't hesitate to ask#i would love to answer any questions!#i'm also nervous to be posting this haha... but its OKAY. im doing it#also i overused the SHIT out of the coloured text#ive never done it before i think i deserved to do it at least once HAHA#sorry that its super long btw </3#i might do actual profiles at some point too if anyone is interested :]#realized i accidentally added aster’s info twice 😭
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I didn't exactly want this fic associated with my main (it's anon for a reason), so I decided to mention this on my side blog. I recently wrote a vent fic regarding the clones' lack of medical autonomy (medical trauma sucks ya'll) called "Just a Medical Procedure", and while Chapter 1 doesn't touch on this as much, I talk a lot more about this exact subject in Chapter 2 (yet to finish, but you've inspired me to continue it).
I mainly used it as a vent fic and since it felt like something that could actually happen, but I'm now starting to really think about just how little medical autonomy the clones have and the types of long term psychological effects it could have.
(TW: Gonna talk a bit about medical trauma)
The fic isn't exactly a metaphor for things like SA (as it was directly based on a real life traumatic medical experience I had as a child), but one thing that is common for those who have said procedure as young children is that they will later show certain signs of CSA, even if they haven't actually been a victim of it. While it is not the same thing, to the mind of a small child, the effect will often be similar.
It is confusing and scary and often painful/uncomfortable, and you feel like you have not control over your own body. Many who have trauma from the experience have even mentioned being held down by adults. It can feel violating and invasive. And that can be the case for many who have gone through traumatic medical procedures. Though it may not always be sexual in nature, it can involve things like the insides of someone's body, areas that feel unnatural for someone to touch. It's a bit complicated, but there are a lot of feelings there that result in feeling inherently violated, especially if the procedure was supposed to alter something.
I've talked about it with others who went through the same procedure as kids a came out traumatized by it, and one thing I've thought about as I reflect on this is that the brain has a very weird response to certain kinds of trauma, including this particular kind involving invasive medical procedures. I don't actually see as many fics diving into the medical/experimentation side of things in regards to Kamino trauma. I think it could be kind of interesting to explore the effects medical trauma have on people.
In a lot of fiction where they do non-consentual body modifications, there is a lot of angst and whatnot that is okay. But I never really thought about it in a more realistic sense, or it didn't feel very real, at least. Just more angst. However, the more I think about it, the more I realize the parallels between that and certain types of medical trauma. I mean, I went through a medical procedure that I technically consented to, but wasn't really old enough to fully consent to or understand what was happening.
I think it could be interesting to see it from that angle, especially since that seems pretty realistic for the clones' situation. A lot of the feels I went through/am going through in relation to this make me relate to the clones in a weird way. I think it could be fun to read more fics related to clone medical trauma and its effects in an almost more realistic way, since the feelings that can come from that are often weird and unexpected. I mean, a lot of the people who went through what I have have expressed having weird symptoms/side effects as a result.
I'd honestly love to see more of that kind of stuff.
One thing I always find both funny and sad to see in SW TCW fics is the clones not realizing just how fucked up their childhoods and current treatment is. Like, they'll be reminiscing on childhood memories and it'll be the most fucked up stuff you've ever heard in your life, and they'll all be laughing about it without a care in the world as their Jedi looks at them in horror.
I literally read a fic earlier where the first chapter is Rex telling Anakin he's a natural blonde and apologizing for it, saying that he understands if Anakin wants him to be decommissioned, and Anakin immediately loses his shit at the implications. He spends a good portion of the chapter trying to explain to Rex why the Kaminoan eugenics stuff is bad, while Rex is just kind of standing there like "???"
It's all incredibly sad, but also weirdly funny to see the clones be so chill about it while the Jedi are incredibly disturbed and concerned.
#sorry to get so grim and depressing on post like this#i just couldn't help but talk about this a little more#also the acceptance of it is very relatable to me because i was able to understand that it was necessary#but not old enough to know what i was getting in to#and while i still consider it to have been necessary#it doesn't stop the trauma from being there
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Hi! Is there going to be a break between TND finishing and TUP launching? Adore all your stories - much love!🥰🥰🥰
Hi anon!
Yeah there's definitely going to be a pretty significant break! I need to get my story load down pretty drastically, so I don't think I'll be able to add The Prince's Son back in until Blue, Gold or Black are finished in the Underline the Rainbow series.
I'm hoping my future line-up which is many months away will eventually be something like:
Palmarosa
Underline the Silver (this or Red will likely replace Black)
Underline the Red
The Prince's Son (once a month updates)
Constellations and/or other Falling Falling Stars extras (once a month updates)
And pooooossibly Smoke in Autumn going onto regular rotation.
A Stain that Won't Dissolve is over halfway now, it's reasonable to think that might actually be finished by about chapter 50 or a bit before. Underline the Black is well over halfway, and we're actually sliding into our final act. Blue and Gold might actually be still going at that point but they're not as taxing as some of the regular stories I'm working on every month! They're pretty relaxing to write.
The reality is that I've been working way too hard for a little while and rather than just like... go on complete hiatus, which I can't afford to do financially anymore, I will not be replacing every story I finish with something else.
I'm in a group with a lot of other professional serial writers on Facebook and when the question 'how many projects / serials are you working on right now?' comes up, most people are working on 1, or 2-3 at most. And then I come in and I'm like 'I'm working on 8' and then we all sit there and stare at that like 'damn boy you're going to collapse if you keep doing that' to which it's like oh I already have. x.x Whoops! It is a problem entirely of my own making, I'm excited about all of these stories, and it's really only sheer willpower that is stopping me from also working on Red and Silver and The Prince's Son etc. at the same time.
This is also to give me more time to rest but ALSO to work on editing Game Theory which has honestly ground to a complete halt!
Anyway there's some shifts happening, they're a few months away, and The Nascent Diplomat isn't officially finishing until May (on AO3), and I actually think by then I'll have a better idea of what's happening.
Hopefully! O.O
#asks and answers#pia on writing#housekeeping#i know you probably didn't sign up for a super long answer anon#but it occurred to me that this is all stuff#i've been meaning to kind of talk about a bit more!
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played dragon age 2...just simple scribbles
#dragon age tag#i doubt that will see much use again..but who knows. vvv rambling below#weird game..the characters dialogue stuff and ending were good tho :')#i've played some of the first game but it kept crashing. i knew already despite knowing nothing that this guy was going to be my type#it doesnt feel right making video game art any more bc games like this end up feeling really personal - an experience that happened to me#if i design the main character a bit and fall in love then..that happened to me..i can't make Fan Art of that..only ive been through that..#like i cant make fanart of my dear companions in bg3 despite it having been a huge part of my heart in the last year#almost 1000 hours of playtime in something i can barely talk about bc it means too much.... lol#tons of ideas and conversations and extra thoughts and scenes and emotions about all the incredible times i've been through in bg3#and the maelstrom just rotates around intensely in my own heart forever...but that's ok too...that is so precious to me#but fortunately i already knew people that have played this game and talked/drew abt it recently so it was saved from that for me#sharing scribbly fanart on my Blog is a way to capture the feeling just after experiencing something so it has good points#witch hat atelier escapes that by not being a GAME. games are so immersive. but my wha art & feelings are incredibly immersive too#which makes it difficult sometimes now. i live a complicated and emotional life <3 i am not suited to fandom <3#my character ended up looking so much like oru without me realising that's what i was doing. Kind bearded fireball throwing gay mage. Hmm.#falling for a sad white hair memory trauma fellow that keeps you at a tragic distance. Hmmmmmm.#i see also how very much bg3 is inspired by stuff like dragon age now lol so i'm glad i experienced it. I WANT MY KIRKWALL LIFE BACK...#so dated though as well and unpleasant at times (the city and the dismal atmosphere was depressing.) i hate violence/horror..#bg3 is SOOOO very dismal but it feels like I am killing people and going through horrors because i have to survive i have to be free#Well anyway. ahh it's so refreshing to fall in love. my gay journey continues...
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Watching people freak out over the Percy Jackson tv show and talk about what they liked/didn't like and what the writers kept and left out of the show is really giving me perspective on what a rabid and insane Wingfeather Saga fan I am because they sound like me whenever I start talking about it. All of them. The good, the bad and the ugly, I am all of these reactions and more. I am insane, totally obsessed, hyperfixated, and overly paranoid. Possibly deranged.
On the other hand, listening to all these people rant and rave (in good and bad ways) about the show is making me feel much more normal about my Wingfeather obsession. xD
#the wingfeather saga#percy jackson#the wingfeather saga tv show#percy jackson tv show#this and other things I post at almost 3am#and I mean I'm like this whenever I get obsessed with something wingfeather's just the current thing#I also keep mentally comparing reactions to how I feel about the LOTR movies just for a bit more neutral perspective#I've had longer to reflect on the LOTR movies and how I feel about them and the movies are finished#wingfeather show is just beginning#I don't know if I've been this insane and deranged over something at the same time an adaptation was releasing#since Narnia#I mean kind of with the hobbit movies but it wore off quicker with them#Narnia went on for YEARS#I say that like my obsession with Narnia has stopped#it has not#but oh my word#ask 9-12 year old me what she thought of Narnia#and she would have talked at you for HOURS#days even#but I was less paranoid and anxious and jaded then#I wish I was still like that now :/
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*Meanwhile as she skyrockets in the air, she collided with some power lines in her path. While the shock didn't affect her, it did send her careening downwards into a bundle of trash bags and cans in an alley way that roughly cushioned her fall.
She resurfaced with a sour expression and a loud groan.*
Ughhhhhh damn it...
*She looks at her sword with a displeased expression.*
Why do I even have this stupid thing?
"Shubao?"
*She squeaked in alarm, quickly jumping out of the pile to her feet and looking above her. She then sees a catwalk and Kasha looking down at her with confusion and concern. And she immediately shrunk in embarrassment, after all this was not a flattering way to be seen.*
Oh...hi Kasha :/
"Are you okay?? What happened???"
Oh! This??? Heh nothing much I just kinda...tripped. How uh, how are you doing?
*When she looks back up at Kasha, she pauses as she notices the girl's slightly red eyes.*
H-Hey, are you okay? You look like you've been crying?
*And now it was Kasha's turn to be self conscious as she tried to discreetly rub the tears out of her eyes.*
"O-Oh! N-No I-Well kind of, it's...look it's okay I'm totally fine."
*She tries to give a chipper smile but Shubao is already too concerned, she heads up the nearby metallic stairs to join her.*
Hey you can tell me, it's not like I can judge at all since I was the one literally in the trash just now :/
*Kasha quietly chuckled at her joke before there was a small pause.*
"I uh...I kinda got ghosted on a first date. It's no big deal though, it happens to the best of us I guess."
Oh shit...that's awful I'm so sorry. Whoever that guy is, he's clearly a total dick. Don't worry about him, if he did show he would've just wasted your time.
"Yeah, yeah, you're right. It just hurts your pride a bit especially since...well, everyone seems to be doing better relationship wise than me.
I mean everyone seems to have someone except me! Yunxiang has Junzhu, and you have that Fang girl! I just...wish that could happen to me already."
*She sagged, resting her arms on the railing and leaning forward. Shubao stared at her saddened before looking forward and sighing.*
Actually...I'm single again. Needless to say, Fang and I did NOT work out in the end.
"Wait really? Oh I'm sorry, I had no idea."
It's okay, it ended pretty recently and a bad note so I've been a bit quiet about it. But anyways, don't beat yourself up.
I'm sure you'll find someone great for you, it just takes time and a lot of patience unfortunately.
"Yeah. True. It's just hard to find that one person in a whole sea of millions."
Yeah, not to mention most of said millions seem to be nothing but living garbage -_-
*Kasha chuckled again.*
"Heh yeah, makes you appreciate the good ones even more though."
Yeah...
By the way, how about we have lunch sometime? My treat. You deserve something nice after being ghosted and left with the bill.
*Kasha seems surprised and just a bit flustered, glancing away while brushing a hair behind her ear.*
"O-Oh that's not necessary, I don't want you to pay just because I had a bad date."
No I insist! Come on, let's do something fun to make up for both our troubles, it'll get your mind off those things for a bit. Plus I know a place with really good seafood, I think you'll like it.
"Well..."
*She looks between the ground and Shubao, noticing her bright gaze and happy smile. She gives in and returns the smile.*
"Okay...I'm down, so what time?"
This Friday evening, I'll meet at your place. We can call later and talk about more details.
"Okay! Sounds good!"
Yeah! Great!
*There's another bout of silence as both stand in place shuffling their feet and looking about. Kasha then begins to step away hesitantly.*
"Anyway, I should get going. It was good to see you again, Shubao! Bye!"
Bye Kasha! See you soon! ^^
*She smiles and sighs, watching Kasha get further and further away.*
(( @liuer-sixsense ))
*It's a slow day in Donghai, including in Wukong's race track and home. That is until Shubao's voice is heard inside loudly calling for someone.*
Liu Errrrrrr???
Are you here???????
I kinda need help...like, right now :/
*Strange thing is though looking into the expansive room. There seems to be no one there standing or about or such, as if the room is actually empty.*
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Casually flirting with the idea of fucking around and getting a master's degree. The time will pass anyway, right?
#lynx thinks#oh nooooooooooooooooo#nooooo i can feel the urge to be crazy and act on my hubris#ive just been talking to the grad students in the theater program and theyre taking like 9 credits a semester#and its all stuff that seems interesting or fun or at the very least useful unlike my undergrad degree#and im like... i can already sew as well as if not better than these grad students. i can for sure draw better for any designs i come up w#heck i can draw better than the current head costume designer faculty member for the university#so the little overcommitting gremlin in my brain is like ''yoi could totally do it. do it.''#and the other part of me is like ''im already so tired just from working again after needing to recover from burnout. how would i even?#so I'm sitting here Thinking about it...#a masters degree in theater might be better for finding work at a pre-existing institution than just a bachelors in art#and it might be better than a masters in art too#I'd have to stop taking commissions completely probably if i did it for the sake if time#but if i somehow got an assistantship position? then maybe?? i could do it?#oooooooh i hrm so hard y'all#its only been a week since moving and ao much is still in boxes. im only working part time but I'm tired now so much#idk if its just because my stamina levels have atrophied or what but im so. tired. these days#and by these days i mean in the last week.#maybe a week isn't long enough of a sample to work from.#im hoping my energy levels will even out a bit but with the time zone change and the fact that I'm almost 30 I'm not sure if it will?#so thats worrying#i actually kind of see why people seem to drink coffee every day now#I've definitely been eating a lot more normally since i started. both in timing and quantity#i still have projects of my own to work on i cant afford to be so eepy orz
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i love being an age regressor ૮ᴖﻌᴖა ♡ tonight it feels very affirming and comforting. I've kind of always had to look out for myself and be my biggest supporter, and there are a lot of strange ways this feels like a second chilhood at times.
like i regress to being younger, but I'm also a girl now in a completely different place with completely different circumstances/social circles etc. yk?
but when i feel rly small and my reality feels so big, it makes me happy that older me is there for me to make the important decisions and guide us there :3 it's like i am holding my hand through this, i haven't had an adult rly look out for me like this and it's so nice to have one now!!
i don't have to be scared of big changes, I'm doing good and I'm here for me and i can take it easy. i have someone who is helping me ♡ i have someone who is keeping me safe. they work hard so i can be little ^.^ thanks big sis hehe ✌🏾
ouggghh im not little anymore but (。ノω\。) ♡ yeah. when i am little i can still like.. function as an adult n talk to ppl n stuff. but it's also like, well like i said before ig 0:
like im smaller but different‚ subtly. still me‚ but someone else since I'm like.. a teen?? that i never was. my childhood was nothing like my adulthood so this rly is a whole new thing little me has needed to learn 2 navigate emotionally/mentally.
but as i become more aware of when I'm in a little headspace and not, the difference in perception stands out to me a lot more. i can't articulate it very well... oughh. this is giving me very specific questions, but on that note — i am happy to feel so safe and looked out for when I'm little 😌💕 i used to feel scared and helpless but it's different now. we're doing this together 👩🏽🤝👩🏾 i got ya lil sis
#sometimes I'm a teen sometimes I'm like 6ish??#the latter is rare but hm ૮ – ﻌ–ა when I'm little older me is still aware and can handle talking to ppl and getting the sentiment across n#whatnot. i don't know off the top of my head how different teen me and younger me are from each other 0: or how similar we all are#but bc older me is always aware like we all have my memories and experiences yk? and my littles r just Here and they come n go randomly#i am curious about these headspaces..#oh ? i went into the younger headspace rn (❁´◡`❁) ♡ it is pretty different.#very docile (。ノω\。) not a lot of thoughts just like. vague feelings. she laid on my big plushie n got comfies and drifted away though#idk...... i like.. invited other parts of myself 2 come say hey 2 me and make their presence known#(。・ω・。)ノ so i can take better care of n be more responsible for us since it's not just me yk?#and like teen me is kinda bratty and angsty lol but also such a hoe 💀 i love her akskaka girl..#she's such a daddy's girl low-key?? I've never had a dad or wanted one before lol.. she a lil boycrazy 🙈💕#i mean.. so am i but she's taking it to new heights lol!! 😭 it's interesting what wires get crossed n new connections I'm making these days#but like. they're both p different from me at both their respective ages and just compared to when I'm not regressed.#the teen one's been harder to pin down just bc i kinda go in n out of that one a lot but it's been going on a lot longer than i realize#so like.. i just naturally made space for me to be that way without knowing?? but now when i regress I'm like hey what up ✌🏾😏#ms ma'am's here to vibe for a bit. maybe look at some cute boys‚ maybe talk some shit‚ flirt a little who knows 💀#she's kind of a hoodrat like i was ill give her that lmao 😹 she's fun#she's also a lovergirl who rly cares about our friends just like me ʕ ꈍᴥꈍʔ ♡ i think on a surface lvl u wouldn't know the difference#between us unless u hung out around me a lot‚ but it's cute to think about ^.^#u are hanging out with us 👩🏽🤝👩🏾💕 we r having fun and appreciate u
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Benefits of audiobooks- I can listen to them while I work, and I am forced to hear and consider every word, rather than read at my usual flying pace, which means I don’t miss things as much and get a deeper and more sustained enjoyment from a really good book
Disadvantages of audiobooks- When there are emotional details they aren’t blunted by the fact that my uncontrolled eye is already skimming the next passages and there are some Emotions that are not appropriate for working hours
#The Woman in White#Because Mrs Clements saying 'I made her first short frocks' broke me#And yet if I'd been reading a physical copy of that passage I'd probably have flown through it without remembering that sentence at all#Also the bit where Hartright says that Anne is buried in a place that Mrs Clements would have chosen for her herself#Was very upsetting#AND to top it all off I've just gone back an dlooked up the passage again and there's a sentence about how#Hartright 'is certain that she was not neglected in her last moments'#WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT WALTER#Ok so she had medical attention and all the kindness that strangers could give her#But she died in a strange place confused as to why she was there surrounded by people who only wanted to use her#and the one person in the world who loved her not only didn't know where she was but never heard of her death until Walter told her#At least I suppose when he says that he means it as a comfort to Mrs Clements and that's totally fair and valid but still#Honestly I quite enjoyed the book but Anne Catherick deserved so much better than a single line on a tombstone#Maybe I'm just susceptible to statements about people who died without their loved ones near them for personal reasons#And I know it's a very common occurrence and even in the Victorian era when many people died at home it was common then#But poor Anne deserved better#Anyway also proof that audiobooks count as 'real books'#Because even though I don't always count them towards reading challenges I actually find that I pay more attention#and get a lot more out of fiction books at least than if I'd been reading them in a physical copy#Non-fiction is a different matter but I learnt to race through novels at an early age and just eat them up without much mulling over them#And it's hard to control my eye even when I'm trying to savour a book#So audiobooks actually make me read more carefully and sensibly#Perhaps the main disadvantage is I never know how the names of people and places are spelt#Especially if the narrator has an accent#reading log
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Oh, this is fun! As a historical costumer, I have some Thoughts on how corsetry and fit interact, and this is actually a topic that was keeping me from writing a costuming post for the Ginger and Mint girls. Might as well get it out of the way now! So, corsets...
I think the first thing that might not be completely obvious is corsets are sturdy. Even cheap ones from places like Corset Story are much, mush heavier than, say, a t-shirt or dress shirt. For its components:
The Busk
So, when I refer to the busk, I'm taking about the front closure of the corset, this bit right here:
(My cat decided to help.)
This is the bit that's going to give you trouble when you put the corset on, even if it's the correct size. It's a rigid bit of metal, much, much less flexible than the rest of the corset bones, and it's where the closures are attached. Usually those are the little metal clasps that you see here, but sometimes, especially in modern fashion corsets, you get some really whimsical ones, like this thing from Corset Story.
I'm inclined to say the busk isn't generally a point of failure in a corset: those little metal loops are riveted in place.
Next, we have
The Bones
So, when I'm talking about corset bones, I mean these bits:
These are long strips of something stiff but flexible. Historically, whalebone (a misleading name, it's actually baleen) was used, though, you'll also see things like stiff cord or reeds used for the purpose. Modern corsets use plastic or metal. They tend to be about the weight and flexibility of zip ties, maybe slightly stiffer. With time and use, these bones will conform to the shape of the wearer's body. This is sometimes a point of failure, usually when the boning pokes through at either the top or bottom of the corset. This will usually manifest as the tip of a bone poking you. (Almost every time this has happened to me, it's been under the armpit, but it could just as easily jam annoyingly into your waist). I suppose, technically, if it was put under some kind of weird strain, a bone could snap and poke through the middle of the garment.
Last, we have:
The Laces
So, a corset is actually a fantastically adjustable garment. This isn't to say that it isn't possible to wear them too tight, or for a corset to be too small, but in general they're a lot more forgiving than pop culture would have you believe.
At least with the corsets I've worn, the top and the bottom of the corset actually lace separately, and they tie at the middle. I almost always end up loosening the laces almost as far as they'll go when putting a corset on, getting the busk fastened, and then lacing it to the desired tightness.
While it's possible to lace it up on your own, the whole thing is much easier with another pair of hands.
For the points of failure here: the laces themselves can vary wildly. I've personally never had an issue with laces breaking, but it's not impossible that they might fray/weaken against the eyelets, or, if they're under a lot of strain and made from a flimsier material, they might just snap. The eyelets themselves are another potential point of failure: I've found that they can pull out and tear a garment when under strain (Or if you make the mistake of putting a grommeted garment through the wash. RIP, the kirtles I made in college). This is less of an issue when you're looking at historical construction, since historical eyelets are more or less embroidered into the garment, like this:
This is stronger and less likely to pull out, but still has the potential to unravel or wear out.
The final potential point of failure is the fabric of the corset itself. Like I said, these things are sturdy, but they're not indestructible. If the corset was already worn/damaged, and not carefully mended, it's possible for the fabric to tear (possibly dramatically!)
Just for funsies, let's look at how likely the issues are to occur:
The corset is uncomfortably tight, and it's all your character can think about.
Yeah, this is absolutely likely to happen. I think anyone who's done historical reenactment or cosplay has misjudged the fit of a costume at some point. Bonus points if the corset is an integral part of the costume, or if you're at a con or a Faire where you can't easily get out of the stupid thing. It almost always goes along with chaffing from the fabric of whatever you're wearing underneath the corset (and you should be wearing something underneath the corset. They're undergarments, but not next-to-the-skin undergarments)
I actually have my own personal experience with this. At a wedding, a reenactment friend came up to ask why I wasn't dancing. When I mentioned that I was corseted into a formal dress that didn't quite fit, her face went from teasing to sympathetic, and she assured me that I should just sit down.
The corset won't fit, no matter how much your character--or a helper--tries to get it on.
Like I said before, corsets are surprisingly forgiving (just lace it looser), but sometimes a garment is just too small. This is bound to be a point of frustration: even mass-produced fashion corsets can set you back a couple hundred bucks, and it takes a while for them to ship. If it's a custom corset, that's a much, much bigger investment, in time, money, or both. Depending on how much time you have before the event where the corset was being worn, this might require some radical changes to costume/garment plans. Many historical dresses are made to fit over structured undergarments, and won't fit correctly (or possibly at all) without a corset underneath. If it's for a cosplay, this might mean having to frantically throw together a look-alike out of duct tape and hope the morning of the convention.
All that being said, it might be possible to salvage the garment by just adding in a new panel. This was often how maternity corsets were handled in-period. Still, if the character is in a hurry, this is likely to end up being an obvious patch job, especially if they don't have a matching fabric on hand. If the corset is being worn as an undergarment, this might not matter. If it's being worn as a fashionable overgarment, it might cause remarks.
The corset is beginning to break or come undone as it struggles to contain your character.
I suppose it's possible that a less-experienced assistant might tie a bad knot that could come undone, which would honestly be the best case scenario here. The corset would just loosen as the night went on. Otherwise, this is the herald of frustration: this is going to mean either some time-consuming repairs, or buying a new corset.
The corset bursts open, unable to contain the pressure behind it.
This one's pure fantasy (not that there's anything wrong with that!) The possible ways I can see this working:
The rivets along the busk pull out, letting the corset fall open in the front.
The laces tear, sending shreds of ribbon everywhere, and the garment opening in the back.
The fabric itself tears, probably along one of the sides, in between the bones.
The corset is too restrictive to take off, and your character needs help getting out of it.
This has so, so much potential for a sweet, intimate moment. At the end of a day, feet and head both aching, I've found that I usually just want my beautiful outfit off. And there's always that point of exhaustion, realizing that the busk isn't going to cooperate and let you get out without unlacing the stupid thing, but that the laces are either tied too tight for you to undo yourself, or the knot is just out of reach. Turning to your equally exhausted assistant, and just quietly asking for help. The sigh of relief when the corset finally falls away. The red marks on your skin, where the fabric was pressed too-close for hours. The overall soreness of being through a busy day in costume, and the satisfaction of having had a great event. A vow to take things easy tomorrow, to let your body rest and recover.
Anyway, those are my thoughts on corsets and historical costumes as they relate to this kind of kinky fun!
corset prompts if u can!!! like being too big for a corset and just either not fitting or burstin it if thats ok !!
A time and a place:
On the way to an event that your character needs/wants to look extra nice for.
At an event, presumably with plenty of people your character wants to look good in front of.
On the way home from an event that your character may or may not have gotten a little too wild at.
At home, while getting dressed.
At a store, while trying things on.
The issue:
The corset is uncomfortably tight, and it's all your character can think about.
The corset won't fit, no matter how much your character--or a helper--tries to get it on.
The corset is beginning to break or come undone as it struggles to contain your character.
The corset bursts open, unable to contain the pressure behind it.
The corset is too restrictive to take off, and your character needs help getting out of it.
The cause:
No fault on your character's part; the corset was simply too small for their body.
Too much eating/drinking.
The corset used to fit, but your character has gained weight since they last wore it.
Bloating, be it from nerves, bubbly drinks, something they ate earlier, what have you.
Too much movement, gradually wearing on the too-tight corset and/or your character.
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sometimes I tell my parents things. often then i wonder why i even open my mouth. but when I keep it light I end up wondering why I can't seem to connect on any real kind of level. and I add another thing to the list for therapy
#my mom is politely skeptical about whether i should be on anxiety meds and i don't even know why i even brought it up#to the woman who says she 'just quit worrying' after she almost died in her 30s#not all of us can just. do that#she said her friend she's been taking care of has anxiety n depression and she 'gets it more now' so i think she was trying to be supportive#but i don't think she gets what i mean when i say i've been full of paralyzing dread pretty much every day since i became self aware#legit i do not know why i brought it up. getting different meds is a thought i've only entertained a little bit for a long while#not really substantial enough to bring up nor really anyone's business but mine#i think maybe i just want to know my family cares. like maybe she could ask 'why do you think different meds would help?'#but our family doesn't communicate like that or at least her part of it doesn't. and me and t learned it from her#we take a side immediately when we don't feel certain and express doubts like facts instead of asking questions#that has been a skill i've been trying to learn#to ask questions before taking a side or forming an opinion even#common sense but not to all#anyway we went back to talking about their upcoming trip#i think the thing we connected most genuinely on was she wanted to know how things are at work for me since it's been stressful#she formed a lot of her identity around being competent and respected at work#and i think she finds it easier to say 'i want you to be successful and secure in the world' than 'i want you to be happy'#i don't think she'd articulate it that way. but i think that's a kind of 'happy' that makes sense to her on a gut level. that she Gets more#she finds comfort and security there and she wants it for her kids too#and i know we can connect on some other things. music. cooking. science. but i don't think she gets me in certain ways i wish she would#i love my mom a lot i just sometimes want her to hug me for longer
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Gotham s2 Finale Reaction
Ok really only a few points that were bugging me
*female Bruce?? Huh? Or is it a clone who grew out his hair? Same voice and face...
*what happened to Szazz's henchwomen? Or Szazz himself? Cause he seemed to lose all his sidekicks once Penguin became boss...
We'll see how Jim's little adventure in realizing that there are other important things besides duty goes... Which good on Strange for setting him straight! I really adore that man's enjoyment for his work and discovery in general (to the point that he'll jeopardize all his plans out of interest/entertainment...), like actually giving therapy sessions and advice to the crew when they try to fight against him. I just knew he wanted to poke around in Jim's head and see what the heck was his deal, and sure enough he spent at least a good 20 minutes doing just that before getting to the task at hand😅 like bro! Your priorities... (Side note: lighting candle for dude's lost friendship😔always hard to be friends with someone who has completely incompatible beliefs/morals (*cough Jim and Oswald cough*) to you, and even more so when you caused that person's death but actually did consider him one of your closest and most beloved friends...)
And Jim stealing Harvey's car to see his ex 'down south' whatever that means XD Which speaking of, that's really pathetic that no one figured out it was a fake before Barbara. I mean hello? The attitude, the slang/language, the smiles?? Or attempts anyway. Everything about the guy was overtly wrong. He could not have been more obvious if he were a flashing sign that said Fake Jim on it!
AH!!! And most important point, totally forgot about,, I'm so here for the Barabara Penguin friendship!! Jim is gonna be so annoyed when he finds out XD (and also- first we had Ed and Oz exchanging Jim gossip, but now we'll have his ex and frenemy??)
#gotham#major spoilers#Spoilers for s2 finale#Fish is so freaking cool#and Firefly#suddenly all these super cool bad guys waltzing about- I mean what do you even do?#I think this show did well at answering what is up with Gotham's supernatural crime😅#I wasn't actually talking about crime above- just how fabulous those two are (did you see Fish's outfit?? Bro) but both work😅#Poor Oswald😔#I don't know if anyone actually has seen my Gotham posts in order but if you have maybe you noticed I almost exclusively call Oz Oswald#Which back in s1 he was 100%- Penguin didn't really register as his name for me#but now since he's become the crimelord in s2 I've been thinking of and calling him mostly Penguin instead#maybe cause he's more similar to the DC villain now or because he's less of a wet cat I'm not sure#but I felt kind of rude calling him Penguin in posts cause I do still love the guy so I was typing Oz anyway😅#it feels like going from calling your best friend their first name to Dr. Surname... Totally distant and not like a friend at all#But I think I've kinda gotten over that. He's still Oz but he gets more Penguin each episode and that's not a bad thing.#regardless of what I call the fella it won't change how I feel about him!#so I dunno this was just a weird internal debate that's been brewing for a bit in my head😅
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