#i've been in duck mode all year i've done so well to not let people see how much all these problems have affected me

[bibelots]

the cycle of anxious doormat never-says-no girl to assert herself one (1) time and immediately revert back to anxious doormat never-says-no girl

[dany36]

after ~165 hours, i finished bg3. i can't believe i almost missed out on experiencing this gem of a game. a couple of months ago i started watching john wolfe's playthrough of it, and after i made a comment about it to a friend once i got done watching the first act, he convinced me to play it on my own. and holy shit i'm glad i got to experience the entirety of act 2 and 3 in my own playthrough of it. i usually stay away from turn-based games because i don't consider myself very good at them (i think i can count on one hand the number of turn-based games i've played let alone finished), but wow, this game just blew me out of the water. when i watched the game awards last year where it won all those awards including goty, i looked up gameplay of it since i knew nothing of it, but the turn-based aspect turned me away from it. still, it was funny seeing all those bitter losers saying that z/elda should have won goty instead, to which i can't help but laugh even HARDER now to think that anyone would even THINK that t/otk even comes close to the fucking chulada of a videogame that bg3 is. honestly? top three of my favorite games ever. (spoilers below)

i mean, i usually post my thoughts as i'm playing along, reacting to things and such. but this game consumed me like no other game before had, and like, what is there to say that hasn't been said before about bg3? i honestly can't think of any big criticisms i have of the game. i knew nothing about d&d before starting it and i still had such a fucking blast playing through every single aspect of it. as someone who doesn't consider themselves a tactical person by any means (my character was a barbarian because no think, just hit!), i think i did pretty well for having played in balanced mode. only four fights gave me a hard time (house of grief being one of them...GEEZ what was THAT!!!), two of which i actually had to look up strategies online because well, i don't have all day to try to figure it out, you know?

the ending left me with such a big smile on my face: it just put me in such a good mood, and honestly i can't remember the last time a video game ending left me with that feeling of satisfaction and contentment. when i told my friend about me going around talking to all of my friends six months after we had defeated the brain, he was shocked because apparently that post-ending bit wasn't there when he originally beat it. and honestly? i loved talking to all of my party to see what they had been up to! lae'zel didn't outright hate me for not having freed orpheus and she looked happy, halsin gave me a duck!! :D karlach was full of hope at the thought of there being a way for her to get her engine fixed for good, and it looks like wyll and karlach are a thing?? I GOT TO ADOPT THE OWLBEAR WITH SHADOWHEART FUCK YEAH!!! like. finishing an adventure is good and all but it's even better when a video game gives you the chance to see how the hero and the rest of the gang are doing after saving the world. i just fucking love it.

as for my choices, i think i'm pretty happy with the ones i made. there are a couple that i think i'll change in my second playthrough (yes, there will be one :) not now, after ghost of tsushima for sure tho), but overall glad to see that everyone got a mostly happy ending (gale became a god ffs). although earlier i did say that i had no curiosity in seeing shadowheart's other option for her parents, the fact that she still alluded to it post-ending makes me curious to like, ok, is being a slave to shar really an option to consider at all in order to keep her parents alive??? because now that i think about it...gale becomes a god so he got his wish, lae'zel still has her people and is fighting for their freedom, jaheira has her children and is helping rebuild the city, karlach and wyll are at least together in avernus, astarion sounds like he is having the time of his life, and minsc is...minsc. shadowheart becomes free of shar and thus her parents die in the process, thus shadowheart no longer has any of her "people" that she can count on, her best friend from her childhood is still a sharran, and plus her parents are now dead. so if you don't romance her, like...what does she end up doing post game?? because the way things sound here sound pretty lonely for shadowheart unless you end up with her, so now i guess i'll have to finish watching john wolfe's playthrough cus i'm pretty sure he was going down the karlach romance path!

but yeah, that option and the orpheus thing are the options that i might consider changing in my second playthrough, but honestly for the latter, i'm fine with how things ended between me and the emperor even if lae'zel was angry at me because it sounds like she's doing fine 6 months later AND she was glad to see me :y i also didn't make much use of my tadpole powers and refused to consume the special one that the emperor gave me, so i can imagine if i HAD consumed it, i wonder if some of the later battles would have been easier....

usually i do a long-ass post talking about what i loved and didn't love about a game, but for bg3, i can't think of anything i just outright disliked. i know that i for sure missed some cutscenes because i was afraid i was long resting too much (the comments on john wolfe's playthrough scared me a little ngl), but i ended the game with like 1200 camp supplies, so now i know camp supplies are not as much of an issue as people made it out to be. gameplay, story, the insane amount of paths/choices you can take in this game...like....FUCK...it's all just so much to take in and really makes you appreciate and marvel at how in the hell such a beautiful game was crafted in the first place.

for now, it's time to take a break from bg3, but man, what a fantastic, unforgettable ride it was. i was thinking of going for the platinum trophy for bg3, but after seeing that you have to beat the game under tactician (AND also that you have to defeat the red dragon in the final battle? heeellll no), i'm afraid i'm gonna have to pass up on that one--i'm just simply not tactical enough for it lol.