#i've been helping my little sister move in with me this week too which has probably sapped some of my energy
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toeat · 4 months ago
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gonna do a little refresh of icons and other stuff here and hopefully stir up some inspo to write 💕
suffering from lack of structure 🫠
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anexperimentallife · 10 months ago
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EDIT: CRISIS AVERTED, THANK YOU!
Interracial US family w/ disabled autistic dad and toddler needs to get to the US for medical treatment
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(New post because the old one was getting LONG with the updates. Details are under the "read more" to save your dash, with updates in the notes.)
TL;DR: If I'm going to live long enough to watch our daughter grow up, we need to get back to the US and get set up in a disability-friendly place where I can use my medical benefits.
Although I was already disabled (autism, adhd, and spine, joint, and head injuries), my health was stable--until four bouts of COVID left me immunocompromised, and utterly destroyed my health (including damage to my heart, blood clots that damaged one eye, neurological and joint issues, etc.), and although we started off fine, we've been hammered with one crisis after another, both medical and financial, that no one could have predicted.
Until we have enough to get back to the US, a chunk of whatever comes in has to go towards medical care that can't be put off, so the sooner we can reach critical mass on that, the better.
If you can help, or reblog, or share the links on other platforms, we'd be grateful!
The "Donate to Little or None" Paypal donation link takes the lowest fees, I think. (Kept the same link from when we were fighting to get our daughter's birth certificate fixed so we could get her citizenship affirmed.)
Then there's Ko-Fi:
And my little sister started a GoFundMe for us!
EDIT: The donation links above still work, but I removed the GoFundMe link.
IF YOU WANT ALL THE DETAILS SEE THE "READ MORE."
(There's more in my "rob gets medical" tag if you want a blow by blow account of how we got to this point over the past few years, but this is the gist.)
HOW IT STARTED:
I moved to the Philippines six years ago, after the deaths of my adult sons, in part to make my disability payments stretch further. Shortly afterwards, I was joined by my now-wife @thesurestthing (also from the US) for what was supposed to be a visit, but which turned into a permanent arrangement.
After I got a contract to license an old story for a mobile game (which tripled our income*), we found out we were having a baby, which was fine, because despite my disabilities (autism, adhd, two spine injuries, traumatic brain injury, a herniated esophagus, joint issues, etc.), my health was stable, and thanks to the contract, we were fine financially as well.
HOW IT STARTED GOING DOWNHILL:
Zoey's pregnancy was complicated, requiring two hospitalizations, and our daughter's birth was complicated, too--requiring a C-Section--which tripled our hospital bill. A few weeks after our daughter was born, the aforementioned contract was canceled without warning. THEN, when we tried to register our daughter's birth with the US embassy, we discovered an error on her birth certificate that left her stateless, and which took nearly two years, all our savings, and a fundraiser (thank you, generous people!) to resolve. Combined with medical expenses, that left us in a lot of debt.
A brief summary of went else wrong (leaving a lot out for brevity's sake):
I got COVID three four times during all this, became immunocompromised, and developed a slew of other medical issues (heart damage, eye damage and temporary facial paralysis from blood clots, persistent infections, a worsening of my joint issues, neurological issues, etc.) as a result of Long Covid.
I've had to be hospitalized a couple of times, undergo surgery, and was on an oxygen machine twice--once for an entire month, while I was bedridden. As of 24 January, 2024, I'm still recovering from my fourth bout of covid, which started at the beginning of October 2023.
There's a lot more, but you get the idea. COVID has completely wrecked my health, including tearing up my immune system.
And yes, I'm as fully vaxxed against COVID as one can be in the Philippines, with all available boosters, but again--I'm immunocompromised, plus they don't have the vax for the newest variant here yet. Zoey is vaxxed, also, and as a result, her bout with covid was extremely mild. El isn't vaxxed yet because they won't give the covid vaccine to kids under five here, but she's been able to share Zoey's antibodies from breast-feeding--which is apparently a thing.
The only way we can see for me to stay alive long enough to watch Eleanor grow up is to get back to where I can use my Medicare and VA benefits**.
WHY SO MUCH MONEY?
First, while we're still here, we need to pay for whatever medical care can't be put off. Plus, since I'm now immunocompromised, we have to get LOTS of vaccinations before we have to spend 24 hours or so in crowded planes and airports.
Second, we're going to be arriving with only what we can carry with us on the plane, and we'll need to get into a place near a VA hospital that I can easily get around in while I'm recovering from surgeries and getting various treatments. We'll need to pick up some secondhand household goods, and some kind of used transportation (because, you know, it's the US, where you kind of need a vehicle to get around).
We'll also need enough on top of my and El's disability payments to get by for a couple of months while Zoey looks for work. And all this is while we're still paying off the debt from the stuff I mentioned above.
So we're figuring that unless we catch some very lucky breaks, it'll probably cost between 20K and 36K altogether.
(We can't simply stay with friends when we get back, because literally every single close friend we have in the US with extra room and who lives close to a VA hospital has cats--to which I have a severe anaphylactic reaction. As in my entire respiratory system shuts down, and I have to be rushed to the ER to keep from dying; this has happened more than once. The only way I can be around cats is if I'm on immunosuppressants, and my immune system is ALREADY compromised, so I CAN'T do that.)
So again, if you can kick in, or reblog, or post our crowdfunding links (or the link to this post) on whatever other platforms you use, we'd appreciate it.
(*When I told social security about it, they said I could keep getting disability, too, because licensing IP rights didn't count as work income, and since it was a Moldavian company, it also fell under a special tax clause for getting paid by a foreign company while living overseas, so no taxes on it, either. )
(**VA benefits--I was a cold warrior in 1980s Germany. It was less than forty years after WWII, there was a lot of sabre-rattling--some of it nuclear--and we were there as a deterrent to prevent in Germany the kind of thing that's happening in Ukraine right now. Disclaimer because I'm tired of people accusing me of "invading" folks in the early 1980s when I was a dumb, heavily propagandized pre-Internet kid fixing generators in Europe. I wouldn't join today even if I could.)
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hochsleep · 2 months ago
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Chapter 1: Just survive somehow
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• Era: Season 1
• Warning: profanity, typical TWD violence.
• Summary: You and your little sister Lottie have to escape from the walkers in the forest. You both almost become lunch for the living dead, but suddenly you are rescued by a stranger, and thanks to persuasion you manage to get to his camp in the quarry. But it seems that the relationship between you does not work out. You will have to find an approach to him, because otherwise you will not survive.
• Word count: 4k
• A/N: Well, I've written...something. I actually have no idea how I'm going to combine this fanfic and the Daryl Dixon x OC fanfic on ao3 (there's a link in the pinned post on my profile page if you're interested), but I'm going to try. Yeah, I literally wrote in an introductory post a couple weeks ago that I wouldn't be writing big works on Tumblr and where are we now? I haven't been very consistent in what I've said. Anyways, posting the first chapter now.
I know it might be a bit boring in the beginning now, I'm not a big fan of the first episodes or chapters in series and books myself, but you have to start somewhere. I'm still just getting into the subject of Y/N fanfics, so I'll be learning as I write the work. What I can say now.
Please correct me in the comments if you find mistakes! Of course, I double-check my work before publishing, but something could still slip through. Especially since you, as an English-speaking audience, will be more attentive to turns of speech, slang and so on. Let me remind you that English is not my native language and I use a translator (you can read more about it in the attached post in my profile). So feel free to make corrections, I am always open to help and constructive criticism!
Oh, and also, congrats to everyone on the release of TWD: Daryl Dixons season 2!
Enjoy reading!
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Then.
"Come on, Lottie, hurry up!" - you shouted to your little ten-year-old sister, who ran after you between the trees in the forest.
“Y/N!” a little girl shouted, following you but lagging behind every now and then.
A few walkers was getting closer, and it was like Lottie could barely move her legs. She had to run faster. She should have saved herself. But could you blame a ten-year-old girl? She’d had to lose her family and friends in the last few days, and there were the living dead walking the earth. The world has changed at the snap of a finger. Lottie probably still hoped it was just a bad dream.
You too.
You had to watch your neighbor across the street, Mrs. Faulkner, pounce on your mother and start biting chunks of skin off her neck without much effort. That's hardly realistic. But that's life now. All those radio warnings about a virus spreading in Europe turned out to be true. That it was incurable. That the dead will rise up and walk the earth again. That their bite would kill you and make you come back to life after a while. It all seemed so distant and unrealistic that you, like most Americans, just changed the channel on the TV or radio when you heard the news of the virus again. After all, there's been a lot of crap and "incurable" diseases throughout human history. If a plague in the Middle Ages couldn't kill the entire world's population, why would some disease do it in 2010 when medicine is booming almost everywhere in the world? Bullshit.
Where are you now? Running with your little sister through the woods while at least four walking corpses are chasing you? This whole thing really does feel like a cheap horror movie. Or a scary dream. A scary dream in a cheap horror movie.
“Lottie! You can’t stop!” you screamed while your little sister looked back and slowed down at every opportunity.
You had a hard time running yourself. Not that you’ve been a fanatic about physical activity in all the years of your life. Yoga and Pilates were your max and only on feel-good days. But the adrenaline in your blood was doing its thing and it allowed you to run faster and longer. Which was not the case with your sister. The girl was tired and breathing hard. She kept looking back to see how close the walkers were to the two of you, even though you had forbidden her to look back.
“Y/N, they’re close! They’re going to catch up with us!” shouted Lottie panting.
You started frantically looking around for a place to take cover. Apparently Lottie wouldn’t be able to run for much longer. You were breathing hard, too, and your legs were sore from the exertion. You had to hide. But where the hell could you hide in the middle of the woods? In the long run, you could hide behind a large tree, but the walkers had already spotted you and were following you, so that option was no longer viable. Climb a tree? You could if you knew how to climb trees. But even so, how long can you and Lottie stay in a tree? You’d have to come down sooner or later, and walkers don’t feel tired or weak, so you couldn’t expect them to give up and fall asleep at some point. No, they’re going to wait until the food comes down from the tree. And again, you can’t climb trees. But Lottie can. What are the chances she’ll agree to climb a tree while you distract the walkers? What’s the chance you’ll survive? How’s she gonna get back down and survive in the woods alone? She’s barely ten years old, for goodness sake, and she didn’t get out into the wild until the last few days! You're all she's got. She's all you have. So it’s just the two of you hiding and surviving together.
“Come on, sweetie, just a little more!” you grabbed your sister’s hand and dragged her forward.
Now.
“Carl! That’s not fair!” shouted Lottie as the boy stuffed the last five hazelnuts into his mouth and grinned cockily.
“It’s all fair, whoever got there first takes it all,” Carl said with his mouth full.
“I’ve just turned my back and you’ve already eaten it all! We’re out of nuts!” frowned Lottie.
“Daryl will find more when he goes hunting,” Carl only shrugged innocently.
“Then you’ll have to ask him yourself,” Lottie snorted and got up from the plaid she and Carl were sitting on.
Lottie approached Carol and Sophia, who were ironing clothes. Sophia’s father was a cruel man as far as Lottie could tell. He had forbidden his daughter from playing with the other two children at camp simply because he had decided to. And now the creepy man sat on a folding chair with a bottle of beer in his hand and strictly made sure Sophia stayed close to her mother and helped her with her “women's responsibilities” as he called it. It sucked.
“Hi, Sophia,” Lottie smiled at the girl, “and Mrs. Pelletier,” she nodded to Carol.
“Hello, honey,” Carol smiled gently at the girl. Sophia looked at her father warily and not noticing the vehement objection on his face, she smiled and nodded to Lottie.
“Carl ate all the nuts, but I brought you what I managed to salvage,” Lottie pulled a few hazelnuts out of the pocket of her jean shorts and held them out to her friend.
“Thank you,” Sophia said quietly and quickly tucked the nuts into her pocket while her father turned away.
“When can you play with me and Carl? Maybe tonight?” asked Lottie hopefully.
“Maybe tomorrow?” answered Carol for Sophia when she saw her head lowered frustratedly. “I’ll talk to Daddy, honey,” said the woman to her daughter, stroking her back.
“Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow then,” Lottie sighed and went on to find something else to do besides playing with Carl. She was still mad at him a little about the nuts.
You were on duty on the roof of Dale’s motorhome, a kindly older man who tried to change you every twenty minutes and told you to go get some rest. But the duty was actually a rest. You just sat on a folding chair on the roof of the car and watched the surroundings. Dale and Glenn were basically doing the same duties, only with a shotgun in hand. Just in case. You weren’t trusted with a shotgun. It didn’t make much sense since you couldn’t shoot. And you weren’t very good at close combat. So you just had to keep an eye on the area around the camp and warn them of possible danger. It’s no big deal. Except that the merciless Georgia sun was as hot as anywhere in Africa. It seemed that way to you, anyway. You were sweating in every part of your body, your hair sticking to the damp skin on your back, your clothes wet with sweat, and you were as tanned as if you’d gone to a tanning salon. The only thing that kept you warm was the powdered lemonade Dale had made, some old nature magazine from the glove compartment of Shane’s jeep, and the cowboy hat Andrea had lent you. Even though you've spent the last ten years of your life in Georgia, you've managed to hide from the heat until this day. Whether at home in your stepdad's garage under a fan while he blames his barely living car. Or at work in the supermarket by the house. There were old air conditioners that you thought were your age, but you didn't complain as long as they worked. Especially hot days you spent in a cozy old cafe from the 50's, where your mother worked as a waitress and let you lounge for hours in the coziest booth close to the fan. In general you had no need to sit under the sun in such hellish heat without a hint of shade. How could there be any shade on the roof of an old mobile home? You have to melt like a piece of butter on toast.
You heard someone climbing up the ladder to the roof. It definitely wasn't Dale, you'd have realized from his static grunts. It was Lottie. Her old pink cap appeared before you saw your sister.
“Hey,” you smiled at your little sister, “I thought you were hanging out with Carl and Sophia.”
“Carl’s a jerk today, and Sofia can’t play with us, her dad won’t let her,” the girl snorted and sat on your lap, because sitting on the sun-hot roof of the car wouldn’t be a good idea.
“Hey, I’d take a swear jar from you right now,” you tried to look at Lottie with a stern big sister look, but it never really worked. It looked ridiculous and hardly got any respect from the kid.
“Sorry,” the girl sighed, “but Carl is really behaving badly today. He ate the last of the nuts while I was distracted and didn’t even have a chance to protect them…”
“Are you really upset about the nuts?” you chuckled.
“No, more of an injustice…I was hoping we’d split the nuts fairly between the three of us, but Carl ruined it,” Lottie rested her head on your shoulder sitting on your lap.
It was so damn sweet. The way Lottie loves you. There’s often tension between sisters, but not in your family. Charlotte was born when you were 13 and that’s a really big difference, but you always wanted a brother or sister. And even though sometimes you had to miss seeing your friends to take care of Lottie when Mom and your stepfather, your little sister’s father, were working late, you still loved Charlotte with all your heart. Although it’s hard not to love her. She had a mild-mannered personality, rarely acted cranky, and sometimes acted like a little adult. At least you were a more rambunctious child at her age, according to your mother and other relatives. Only as you got older did you become a calm and peaceful person, and as a child you could afford to kick the asses of the boys who hurt you in junior high school. Charlotte, on the contrary, preferred to solve conflicts peacefully and disliked violence already at the age of ten. The age when children can be really violent, but your sister was not. Now, however, she seems to be really angry with Carl. But it’s probably because of all the stress you’ve both been under for the past three weeks. Everyone’s been on edge right now. That’s the way the world is now.
“I’ll find you some new nuts in the woods,” you said, stroking your sister’s soft hair.
“You’re afraid to go into the woods,” sighed Lottie.
“I’ll ask Glenn or Amy to come with me.”
“Wouldn’t it be better to ask Daryl? “Lottie looked at you in anticipation.
Oh, that’s right. Daryl. Well, that was a bit of a problem.
Then.
You tugged at Lottie’s arm, who was stumbling at almost every step. The walkers were coming faster and faster. Your courage and confidence were running away from you just as fast. But you did not let go of your sister’s hand and kept moving forward.
“Y/N!” the little girl’s shrill cry echoed throughout the forest.
You turned around and saw one of the walkers grab the hood of Lottie’s sweatshirt. A tall man with a rotten open wound near his collarbone, with gray cadaverous skin, white eyes, and rotten teeth and nails. Death itself came closer than ever to you and your sister. And you had no idea what to do.
“No! Let her go!” you screamed in panic at the walker as if he could understand you.
“Y/N!” large tears flowed down the little girl’s cheeks.
You closed your eyes, preparing for the worst. You knew it would happen sooner or later. From the moment your neighbor ate your mother. From the moment your stepfather John set himself up to feed the walkers two days ago so you and Lottie could escape. Since the world died. You knew you were going to die, too. And your ten-year-old sister, who didn’t have time to live. It has to happen, whether you’re ready or not. But you are ready. Death has taken over the world now, and who are you to fight it? You just hoped that you and Lottie wouldn’t have to suffer and…
With a dull thud, the arrow pierced the forehead of the walker that had grabbed Lottie and he finally fell to the ground dead. Lottie threw herself into your arms without thinking, wrapping her arms tightly around your waist and sobbing into your chest. You looked around in incomprehension until you saw a man with a crossbow. He put down the remaining three walkers with the remaining arrows. Clearly and without missing. Like he’d done it every day before the outbreak.
Man paused, looking at you and Lottie sobbing in your arms, and then without a word walked over to the corpses to pull his arrows from their skulls. Right now, however, you didn’t have the strength to say a few words. You didn’t have the strength to say a barely audible “thank you” for saving your life. The man looked at you, chewing his lower lip and without saying anything, lowered his head and walked away as if nothing had happened now. It would have been nice to stop him. But you were still standing still.
Now.
Daryl was sitting on a log outside his and Merle’s tent on the outskirts of the rest of the camp. He was cleaning squirrel blood off his arrows and hunting knife. Well, thanks to him, the camp wasn’t starving. Lottie and Sophia didn’t like eating something cute like squirrels, but there’s no choice. And while you weren’t thrilled about it either, better squirrels than the inedible berries you and Lottie had been poisoned with before you got to camp at the quarry. It was… unpleasant. You almost silently approached his “Dixon den,” as Shane called the tent of the brothers who preferred to stay away from the main group. But for an experienced hunter and tracker like Daryl, it wasn't hard to hear the branches crunching under your feet. Of course he noticed. Daryl turned toward you, where you froze for a moment between the bushes and snorted.
“What do you want, girl?” he asked, staring again at the dirty arrow in his hand..
“Hey,” you smiled shyly and moved a little closer, not noticing the vehement protest on his part. “Am I interrupting you?”
“If I tell you what you’re doing, will you leave?” Daryl didn’t look away from his work, still not looking at you.
“I don’t know…I guess?” you shrugged uncertainly. You didn’t want to annoy him, but you had promised something to your little sister. And yourself too.
“So what do you want? A chat? That’s not for me,” Daryl shook his head.
“I wanted to ask you for help to be honest,” you pursed your lips as you always did when you felt uncomfortable.
“Try it,?” Daryl finally lifted the piercing gaze of his gray-blue eyes to you and you felt even more uncomfortable.
“Take me with you on your next hunt,” you blurted out, deciding it wasn’t worth beating around the bush. Not with Daryl Dixon.
“No,” he answered immediately and went back to cleaning his weapon.
“Daryl, please,” you insisted. Not that you expected him to answer any differently. “I need to learn at least the basics of wilderness survival. You probably remember the state you found me and Lottie in in the woods…I can’t let that happen again.”
“Why? You’ve warmed up to a camp with people who can handle weapons. Just stay close to them,” Daryl snorted.
“I’m not stupid, Daryl, I realize this isn’t forever and sooner or later we’re all going to have to separate. When that happens, there’s no one to protect Lottie but me,” you sounded more determined than usual. Of course, it took a few days to pull myself together. “So I’m asking you to help me. Teach me how to track prey and how to tell poisonous plants from edible ones. Please.”
“Look, you’re sure of yourself, huh? Coming in here and making demands like I owe you,” Daryl was starting to get annoyed, it was obvious. He didn’t like the way you were being pushy, asking him for something like you had a right.
“I’m not making demands, I’m asking for help,” your confidence began to wane after his words. Daryl didn’t know you well. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t have had the nerve to call you cocky. Or just at least a little bit of confidence.
“I’ve already helped you out on my own head…I won’t do it again, you’re not a goddamn charity case here,” Daryl chuckled.
“Okay, then what do you want in return?” you asked firmly.
The question wasn’t about your curiosity about wildlife, your life and your little sister’s life depended on you. Your only family. This is not a case where you can afford to back down and give up.
“As if you have anything to offer,” snorted Daryl dismissively.
"What would you want?" you asked, hugging yourself tighter around your shoulders in a protective gesture.
Daryl's right. What the hell could you offer him? In this current world, money has no value. Not that you had a lot of it, but it was the first thing you thought of out of habit. Then what? Daryl is an excellent hunter who has all the necessary survival skills and is good with a gun. That's why you asked him for help and not anyone else. Shane could teach you how to shoot, which would undoubtedly be very useful in the current circumstances, but it's not enough to survive in the woods without a group. Not without someone like Daryl, who is as well adapted to life in the wilderness as you could tell from a week of knowing him.
Back to the question, what could you offer him? What would Daryl Dixon want?
"I want you to talk less and get back on your own," Daryl squinted looking at you for a few seconds and then lowered his head again. The conversation wasn't going well.
"Why did you save me and my sister in the forest? Why did you bring me here? We might live a little longer being in a group, but when this is all over, we're both going to be eaten, so why did you have to build up to this moment?"
Daryl was silent. Like that day a week ago before he brought you to camp. Really, why did he do that? He felt sorry for Lottie. A dirty little girl, messed up to death. You didn't look like you really tried to save her during the walker attack and Daryl wondered why. How scared were you? Didn't believe in your own strength? Did you want to die? He didn't know. But he knew for sure he wasn't going to let a child be eaten alive by a rotting reanimated corpse. Not in this world. Would Daryl have helped you if you were alone in the woods? He wasn't sure. You seemed resigned to your situation and didn't try to escape, so why would he rescue you?
He already did anyway. And dragged you both to the camp. And then that same night he had a fight with Shane, who wasn't sure about the idea of leaving you here. And he got a good laugh from Merle, who thought he was being too kind to someone in the Dixon family. But you don't need to know that. You're lucky it was Daryl and not Merle who came across you in the woods. You'd be wandering around the woods now, rotting from the inside out, wanting nothing more than to eat anything alive. Just like your sister.
"Your sister needed a place and I helped you, that's the whole story," Daryl only nodded his shoulder.
"Why?" you persisted.
"Damn it, girl, what are you babbling about! I helped you, who cares why?" Daryl frowned and abruptly stood up from his seat in a flash of anger.
"I just..." you cringed at his loud tone and backed away slightly.
"Stop bugging me with this, okay? I saved you and your little girl, that's it! That's all you're gonna get from me, you understand? I don't want to teach you anything, I don't need you, save yourself!" Daryl waved his hand, yelling at you and you didn't even realize why you pissed him off so easily.
You looked at him frowning in incomprehension. Why the hell is he yelling at you for no good reason? And looking so angry, like you'd done something terrible to him. You didn't understand Daryl Dixon and his mood swings. That's why you tried to stay away from him, especially the first couple days. You were grateful to him for saving you, but he didn't seem like someone you'd easily connect with. And Daryl had just proven that to you again. You only came to him with the request because no one else could handle it but him. But apparently he's really not interested in this at all. You didn't want to and couldn't force him. You just hoped that maybe, just maybe, he wasn't as rude and aloof as he seemed at first glance. After all, he wouldn't have saved you if he was the way he showed himself to others. You'd just have to find a way to approach him and then maybe something would work. But now you weren't so sure.
"Well?! Don't look at me like that, get out of here!" he shouted one last time, turning away from you.
You snorted disappointedly, and after staring at his back for a few seconds, you turned around and hurried back to camp. You were mad at Daryl, that was for sure. Just like Lottie was mad at Carl, but you had a better reason than a handful of nuts. And you might have wanted to yell back at him, but not that it made sense. You'd learned to control your negative emotions a long time ago, and you weren't about to let years of self-discipline go down the drain because of Daryl Dixon. That's on him. Maybe you'll try again later when you've both cooled down, but definitely not in the next few days.
Daryl was difficult, but you have to find an approach to him. Not for your own sake. Certainly not for him. For Lottie. For the chance to prolong her life as long as you could.
Then.
“Hey!” you followed the stranger after a few moments of daze.
You almost lost sight of him, but he wasn’t trying to be quiet, and you could still hear the sound of his footsteps on the leaves on the ground. So as soon as your body began to obey you again, you followed him, holding Lottie’s hand tightly in yours. The man didn’t stop no matter how many times you called out to him. How rude. But in the present world, one didn’t think much of it. And you didn’t know him, but he wasn’t exactly friendly before the end of the world. And yet, you stopped the man from grabbing his wrist when you caught up with him. He turned around and looked at you with a frown, immediately pulling his hand from your barely perceptible grip with force. You seemed to have hit something wrong.
“Thank you,” was the first thing you said when he finally paid attention to you.
“Forget it,” wheezed the man with the familiar Southern accent you never got in the ten years you’d lived in Georgia.
“What’s your name?” you persisted.
“Go where you’re going,” the man snorted and turned away again to walk away.
“I wasn’t going anywhere,” you said before he could get a few steps away from you and Lottie, “I…I mean we have nowhere else to go.”
The man stopped for a moment without turning around, as if thinking about something.
“Do you live somewhere? Somewhere with people? You’re the first person I’ve seen in a week…I mean of living people,” you stared at his back without stopping to speak.
Hope flared in you. If there are still people alive, then you and Lottie have a chance.
But the man didn’t answer, only turned to glance at you. Your tangled hair, tied back in a low ponytail, your dirty knit sweatshirt over your once-white T-shirt, your mid-thigh jean shorts that were also dirty and torn on the side of your left leg, your broken knees with blood on them, your worn and dirty yellow sneakers. He looked at the little girl next to you. She had big eyes like yours. And while yours looked at him with weariness and a mute request you still hadn’t spoken aloud, hers were full of fear. Her long hair, braided into two pigtails, was also disheveled, and twigs and dry leaves were sticking out of it from the fact that she had been on the ground under the walker that had tried to eat her. Her denim overalls were stained with the rotting blood of the living dead, and the hood of the sweatshirt she wore over the rest of her clothes was now torn off. There was only one rubber boot on the girl’s feet, the other having come off in the process of escaping from the walkers. The man thought it must be very uncomfortable to run around in rubber boots. The girl held your hand and appeared behind your back, gingerly looking at her savior.
“Y/N, I’m scared…” said Lottie quietly, pressing her cheek against your hand.
Y/N. The man mistook you for this girl’s mom. A very young mom. But it seems that wasn’t the case. Although the two of you had enough outward similarities to think you were related to each other.
“Do you have a place to stay? Please…we’ve been walking through the woods for three days without food or water,” you asked quietly.
The man looked at you with a piercing stare and was still silent. But he didn’t stay silent for long.
“Please,” Lottie said even more quietly, looking out at him from behind you. And then he gave up.
How could he refuse to help a little hungry girl in one rubber boot.
“Follow me,” he said, looking into your eyes for a second, and then turned and walked on, expecting the two of you to follow him.
Of course you both did. Now the hope in your heart is much brighter.
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hestzhyen · 5 months ago
Text
Chapter 39 Doomish Hope Posting
Hi internet void. I've got bachi on the brain again.
Chapter 39 is the "if they aren't soulmates I'll eat every hat I own" moment of the series. Also seems like the "Hakuri will be shelved once the mission is done" chapter, which is a fucking shame. But I will remain calm(ish) and wait for Hokazono-sensei to finish cooking. So we start off with some really nice foreshadowing coupled with a little continuity update. Mr. Inazuma found his way to Char and Hinao and sees some of the folks from the storehouse get dropped off at the entrance, but his sister isn't among them. Hmm. Then, we switch back to the fight and see our precious Hakuri struggling. He's got a free-flowing nosebleed and a splitting headache trying to keep up with his dad's manipulation of the subspace. And hey look, some more foreshadowing. (Hint: Kyoura isn't talking to Chihiro full time here.)
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Yet once again Kyoura underestimates his son...
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… while Chihiro's faith never wavers. Once more, despite nothing being said between them, they fight in perfect harmony.
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Aaaaah. THESE GUYS. They've known each other for weeks at most and they're already doing this mad OP shit? Hakuri awakened to his storehouse powers less than an hour ago and he's already copying his dad's techniques to match Chihiro's fighting style? Chihiro fucking yeeted Enten at Kyoura without a word and Hakuri instantly understood that he needed to teleport him to the other side to catch it, then create a hologram for a fake-out so Chihiro could land the blow? Are you KIDDING ME? Our color-coded protagonist/foil pair are acting as one already? Hokazono-sensei's gotta slow down or we won't have anything left to explore with them.
Maybe that's the intention, though.
The little flashback where young Hakuri tells his father that "I'm gonna become a leader who surpasses you!" is a huge moment in the chapter for two reasons. First, the emotional catharsis that I'll rant about later. Second, the next potential bit of foreshadowing. When Hakuri initially met Chihiro, his stated goal was to end the Rakuzaichi, which we took him at his word for. He didn't know he was actually the second coming of Sazanami Jesus and neither did we. But that single panel recontextualized everything. If Hakuri hadn't been deemed worthless and disowned, the Toukuri AU could have been pretty close to canon. He's actually a very ambitious guy- no wonder he was so dogged about getting Chihiro to help him! Obviously, his goal shifted from "become a better leader than my father" to "burn it all down" at some point during the time where he was abused. But what if he never fully let go of that dream?
We see that the Sazanami family is huge and powerful enough that even the government treads lightly around them. So it's not a stretch to think that Sazanamis will be able to continue on even without Kyoura as long as they have a capable leader. Someone perhaps a bit more reform-minded to keep the government off their back while they adjust to a new way of doing things. A guy who's too stubborn to quit and powerful enough to quell the critics; a legitimate heir who invokes the legend of their progenitor's genius, perhaps. Someone who has a deeply personal stake in erasing the legacy they were all groomed to protect. So yeah, Hakuri could very easily get wrapped up in his family's business while Chihiro moves on. Not to say he would never be relevant again- the storehouse ability alone practically guarantees he's sticking around in some capacity (gotta have a safe place to keep those WMDs and all). But I'm steeling myself for seeing a lot less of this lethal cinnamon roll in a few chapters.
Ideally for me at least, Hakuri and Chihiro end the Rakuzaichi and let the government step in to take care of the aftermath. Hakuri, being disowned and having completed his revenge, decides to stay with Chihiro to help him on his own journey. And wouldn't it just be so sweet if much later on Chihiro adopts him into his family register so Hakuri has a last name he can be proud of? But the very real chance of Hakuri being sidelined is preventing me from full investment right now. It all depends on the themes Hokazono-sensei is intending to impart with this arc.
The theme of reforming your family's violent legacy is obviously deeply resonant with Chihiro's current mission. The two of them have basically speedran the development from strangers to soulmates so that this could happen. I just don't understand why we'd do all of this relationship upgrading in a single arc if Hakuri was meant to stick around and grow with Chihiro y'know? What could possibly be left open for them after this? Wouldn't it be too OP to keep them together when they're already silently dancing through battles in perfect sync? They've already reached peak combat effectiveness or close to it. And though Hakuri's family issues are very likely to still be an albatross around his neck, those are for him to tackle now that he's found his strength; Chihiro's got other things to focus on. Leaving the arc with Hakuri posed to reform the Sazanamis would be a worthy culmination of his story. At this point he's practically used goods (narratively speaking)! Chihiro learned a lesson and made a friend. Time for something new… maybe checking in on the Kamunabi? A little downtime before finding the next sword? Either way, Hakuri doesn't need to be there when he could be rehabilitating his family's image and purpose. Unless…
He's used to explore the theme of healing from tragedy as the heroine.
Yes I'm spouting my bullshit again and yes I'm very fucking serious about this. My clown suit is freshly dry-cleaned and neatly laid out because I could easily be wrong but I think (hope) I'm not. Mostly because it seems like Hokazono-sensei wants to keep showing us glimpses of Chihiro's true feelings under his hardened persona. Very smart thing to do in order to get readers invested beyond his badass action stunts and tragic backstory. But we need someone to bounce off of him and be a direct contrast or else we're stuck with lonely ol' :| Chihiro all the time. (I love the deadpan gags but they won't stay fresh forever if that's the only joke to make with him.) We need a real companion for him that's on his level. Chihiro's so far skewed into expressionless determinator outside of battle that he desperately needs a polar opposite to help mellow him out. I raved like a lunatic about it already so I won't retread all that… but if Hakuri isn't a color-coded foil to balance out Chihiro's extreme personality then fuck me for thinking I'm somewhat media literate, I guess. We need Hakuri for levity and being able to relate to Chihiro. Poor guy desperately needs a friend to help pull him out of his own head. If Char is there for protection, and Shiba to guide him, Hakuri should be there for him to grow with in an emotional sense. Someone he can start opening up to in quiet moments.
The memers got it badly wrong assuming that Chihiro was a one-dimensional revenge bot- he's actually a sensitive guy carrying a lot of pain he can't express. Not to Char (small child), not to Shiba, Azami, or Hinao (adults he's emotionally closed off from). It's gotta be a peer like Hakuri who will eventually be able to sit by his side and help him. We've seen the magic of Hakuri's presence already- Chihiro admitting he was fearful of Shinuchi being misused in the elevator scene, helping him overcome his doubts about using Enten, and later helping him let Enten go. Yuge stuff for guys that just met each other, don't you think? Then it was followed by all that soulmate-coded stuff in the raid… It would be awful for Chihiro to lose the friend he can confide in. So if the story pulls them apart my heart will break a little bit, yeah. There's so much more Hakuri can do just by being there for Chihiro in a way no one else can right now. Chihiro needs his heroine to be vulnerable with, so let it be the guy who's already done the heavy lifting! Hakuri's a sturdy guy, after all- I'm sure he can handle being comic relief and emotional support.
Alright. HakuHiro delusions aside, I'm also going absolutely apeshit over the parallels being drawn here during the chapter. Feral. Certifiably insane. Cannot stop myself from jizzing all over the goddamn place. If Hokazono-sensei can keep this quality storytelling through Kagurabachi's entire run it'll be a fucking masterpiece.
I mentioned at the start that Mr. Inazuma's sister was used to foreshadow that the fight between Kyoura and team HakuHiro wouldn't end decisively this chapter. Her situation won't be resolved until the Rakuzaichi is completely over with, so that catharsis will have to wait. What we did get is absolutely stellar though. Kyoura definitely got the ultimate comeuppance for constantly underestimating Hakuri, too. The dialogue and inner thoughts leading up to this were a work of art- the reveal of Hakuri promising to overtake his dad as a kid and finally doing just that after being deemed worthless is mega satisfying (and another sign his arc is complete, but I choose to live in delulu land). However, it was the Daddy Issues theme that really stole the show for me this chapter.
Chihiro's conversation with Kyoura really drives home the irreconcilable differences they have on what it means to be a father, or even a family in the first place:
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The Sazanamis are just a "clan" to Kyoura. A group of people dedicated to hosting the Rakuzaichi before anything else. Blood ties are only worthwhile for passing down Isou and the storehouse ability; there's no love lost between any member. And Chihiro most definitely does not agree with that mentality. We're constantly reminded of his rebuke about Kyoura's "best" being belief in Hakuri for a reason...
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... because he is the antithesis of everything Chihiro believes a father should be. Chihiro's got some personal beef with this guy beyond reclaiming Shinuchi after seeing how he treats his kids. (This guy gets attached to people and starts killing for them right away if they've got dead or abusive parents… we love to see that empathy being manifested as murderous intent.)
This sequence killed me though:
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Kyoura is paying the ultimate price for not loving his kids like a real father should. He's fucking toast because he stopped believing in Hakuri. Chihiro's outlook is validated in this victory, as is Hakuri's entire existence. Obviously there's a lot more still going on with the auction itself but it's almost mission accomplished and emotional catharsis achieved for Hakuri. Then we see the biggest message of this arc so far when Kyoura hides himself in the floor to keep the auction going at all costs… fanatical devotion at the expense of love leads to a Bad End. It's sad to see this guy put his whole being into selling a sword, man. He's dying and his only thought is to finish the auction. Not to seek help from his kids or even check on them, not to spare some dying words for Hakuri or the Tou or anyone else. He doesn't even question the life he lived that led to this point like you'd seen in other manga- Kyoura isn't shaken one bit by his untimely demise. He only cares about giving the highest bidder their merchandise.
That's the lesson here for Chihiro. He's hellbent on revenge right now- gather the swords, fuck up the Hishaku clan that killed his father. But losing himself in it will leave him no better off than Kyoura; even if he succeeds, he'll die alone in the end. His devotion to revenge is as strong as Kyoura's is to hold the auction. Both are rooted in their family's ideals and upbringing as well. Chihiro's saving grace is that he was raised with love and knows how to care. Forgetting all that, or giving that up to see his plans through will be a bad sign for his development. The people close to him will have to keep him centered or else he'll see the same terrible end (as much as it's possible; he's a very sad and broken boy). And we the reader will expect someone to be there to remind him of his humanity if he starts to show shades of this in future arcs. This very chapter, Hakuri had to encourage Chihiro to kill his dad even after he'd already asked him to do it- Chihiro's a kind guy even when he's in a fight to the death. This is precious. He can't lose this quality- we should be very alert for anything that hints at him starting to do so, because that will be the start of a very, very rough arc for him.
What about Hakuri? Well, he's been thoroughly vindicated ever since he awakened to his abilities; this whole raid has been his self-redemption arc. His character will probably be pretty complete once this is done, though there are lots of avenues to explore with him if Hokazono-sensei hears our pleas and keeps him around. He could have lingering trauma that needs to be healed- killing his dad won't help him escape his own demons after all. He's got a learning curve ahead to master his newfound abilities too. And perhaps even after finding his strength, he's still too hard on himself and needs someone to keep pushing him forward. Maybe once his life's mission is done he'll struggle with some dark emotions and need someone to help pull him out. There are plenty of little things to delve into with him to help us gain more insight into Chihiro! Please I'm so desperate to keep him around Hokazono-sensei for the love of god don't separate these boys. They're perfect supports for each other and as we all know, boys who suffer together should find solace together. If Azami/Shiba and Hiyuki/Tafuku can be foil pairs so can Hakuri/Chihiro! (Fuck me, I'm too invested already…)
Anyway. Kagurabachi continues to be peak fiction and I can't wait for what we'll see next week. If Hakuri becomes a permanent crew member I will glady put the clown suit away and start huffing copium that we'll see enough success to get an anime adaptation. I might even start writing fan fiction again (horror). If not, well... he'll still be dear to my heart. Peace out Bachibros who read this nonsense and stay tenoí.
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canirove · 9 months ago
Text
In The Name of Love | Chapter 25
Previous chapter | Next chapter
Masterlist
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"You know, instead of just laying there looking pretty, you could help me with all these clothes."
"Being this pretty is a really hard job, Val. And if I helped you, you would definitely end up telling me that I'm doing everything wrong and doing it all by yourself" Pedri shrugs.
"Idiot."
"Hey! I am injured, remember? There is no need to be violent. Poor Minnie" he says, cuddling the stuffed toy I've thrown at him.
"Yes, you are injured in the head."
"Love you too, Val" he says with a stupid smile. "Why do you still have these around your room, tho? Aren't they for kids?" he smirks.
"I work with kids and I'm dating one. I need them to understand you better" I reply, sticking out my tongue.
"This Minnie has seen better days. How old is she?"
"My aunt bought it for me when I was born."
"Really? She looks like… 50. And you know you aren't older than 25."
"You are such an idiot" I say, rolling my eyes. "If Minnie looks old that's because she never left my side. I slept with her, played with her…"
"Attacked people with her…"
"She was my favourite toy as a kid and has great sentimental value."
"Val, hey. Are you ok?" Pedri says, getting up from the bed. "What is it?"
"Nothing" I say, looking away.
"Then why are you crying? Val" he says, cupping my face and making me look at him. "What is it?"
"Nothing, I just… Talking about Minnie reminded me of my aunt, the one who got her for me as a baby. She… She passed away a few years ago."
"And here I was making stupid jokes. I'm so sorry, Val. You aren't wrong when you call me an idiot."
"You didn't know" I shrug. "And they aren't sad tears. At least not all of them. You've also reminded me of good times, like when she would play with me and mimic Minnie's voice. She was really good at it."
"Was she?"
"Yeah. Or that's the memory I have" I smile. "She was Marina's age when I was born, so she saw me as a little sister more than as a niece. She got me that Minnie because she always wanted to go to Disneyland Paris but never could because her siblings told her they were too old for it, and with me she had an excuse to do it."
"Did you go?" Pedri asks, wiping away one of my tears.
"No, we didn't manage to. When I was old enough to understand what was going on she was at uni and then she moved abroad. She would only come back for Christmas and the summer holidays, which aren't the best moments to go to a place like Disney. Then I got busy with my own life, she got sick, and… well" I shrug.
"Do you still want to go?"
"I would love to, but no one wants to go with me. Marc said it was just for kids" I scoff.
"Well, lucky you, you are dating a kid who has never been to Disneyland."
"Really?" 
"We didn't have the money when I was younger. And now that I have it, no one cares anymore" Pedri shrugs.
"But a place like Disney… People may recognise you."
"I'll wear a wig if necessary. Anything to make you smile again" he says, caressing my cheek.
"You seriously are the cutest human being I've ever met."
"I know" he smirks. "And because I am the cutest, I'm gonna stop distracting you with my beauty and go make us a snack."
"Thank you, Pedri."
"What for? The snack? Being pretty?"
"Idiot" I say, hitting his arm. "Just thank you."
"You're welcome, Val" he says, kissing my forehead and leaving my room while I just stare at him smiling like... an idiot. Turns out that I also am one. One madly in love.
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When do the kids go on holidays?
Why?
Just answer me, Val 🙄
Friday
Until?
We have the next week off
Perfect then
Perfect for what?
Going somewhere just you and I ☺️
What? And the international break?
I'm not going. 
They called me today and said they don't want to risk it because of my injury. 
I'm sorry 
It's just some friendlies, don't worry
But now I am free to take my girlfriend on holidays ☺️
Tenerife?
Cold
Are we going somewhere cold or I got it completely wrong?
Both
You aren't helping, Pedro 🙄
🇫🇷🗼🐁🎡🎢🎠🐁
The mouse isn't because of Ratatouille 😉
Wait… wait wait wait WAIT DISNEYLAND?
Are you in?
OF COURSE I AM IN!!!!!!
Did you scream? Are you jumping?
Yes and yes 😂
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"I am finally here. Can you believe it?"
"What I can't believe is your face right now" Pedri chuckles, closing the door of our hotel room behind him.
"What?"
"I think I have never seen you smile like that, Val. I love it."
"And I love you" I say, walking towards him and wrapping my arms around his neck. "I love you very much. Thank you for this."
"Anything for you" he smiles.
"But you know… I think I should show you how much I love you and how thankful I am."
"What?"
"Yeah…" I say as I slowly move my hands from his neck to his chest.
"Val…" 
"Yes?" 
"What are you doing?" Pedri asks, his body tensing under my touch.
"Showing you how thankful I am" I reply with a teasing smile, my hands now moving under his clothes.
"Aren't you tired after all that traveling?"
"Nope. Are you?"
"A bit."
"Then let me do all the work. Arms up."
"What?" he laughs.
"I can't show you how thankful I am and how much I love you with all these clothes on. So arms up."
"Yes, ma'am" he chuckles.
"Good boy" I smile, getting rid of his sweatshirt and t-shirt all in one go. "Now shoes off, I'll take care of this" I say, untying his joggers.
"Done."
"Lay down on the bed."
"Ok" Pedri smirks while doing as I've told him. "You should be this bossy more often, Val. I like it. Now what?"
"Now get yourself comfortable and enjoy" I say before starting to take off my clothes.
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"I can't believe we just had sex on a Mickey Mouse bed" Pedri laughs.
"You chose the room, I didn't."
"I did" he laughs again. "It was really good sex, by the way. Some of the best we've had. You definitely showed me how much you love me."
"Glad to hear that."
"And you need to be in charge more often, Val. That was so hot."
"Yeah, umm… Should we order some room service or go out? I'm starving" I say, trying to change the topic of conversation and ignore the way my face is burning. I still don't know where everything I just did to him came from.
"Of course you are" he chuckles. "I could do with some fresh air, to be honest."
"Oh, great! We can wear the hats I got us."
"You what?"
"Yeah, look" I say, leaving the bed and opening my suitcase. "I got a cap with Mickey ears for you and one with Minnie ears for me. We can match, and this way you will be able to hide your face a bit better. Though you won't be able to put on your hood with the ears. I think."
"It's ok, don't worry. But are we a matching couple now? That's very cheesy, Val" Pedri says with a teasing smile.
"We are in Disneyland for the first time. We are gonna be cheesy and proper tourists."
"Ok" he laughs. "Should we try on the caps? Maybe take a picture? I want to remember this moment."
"Just be careful with the angle."
"I'm a pro, Val. There won't be any nipples involved."
"It better not" I warn him, getting in bed next to him. "Let me… there" I say, putting the cap on his head.
"How do I look?"
"Gorgeous."
"Liar. I always look gorgeous" he smirks.
"I beg to differ" I say, putting on mine. "Now let's take that photo so we can go grab something to eat."
"I think I don't like bossy Val anymore."
"What?" I laugh.
"If she isn't going to ride me until I forget my name, I don't like her."
"Shut up and take that photo, Pedro.”
"Yeah… I don't like her. And I'm taking the photo, relax. Don't need to look at me as if you were going to rip off my head."
"I'm too hungry for that."
"Lucky me" he laughs. "Say Disney!" 
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"Pedri, we are gonna be late for breakfast!"
"Just a minute!" he says from the bathroom.
"If when we go downstairs they've run out of everything I like, I'm murdering you. What are you doing?"
"These eyebrows don't look this perfect on their own, Valeria" he says while pointing at them and finally joining me in the room. "There is work behind them."
"All the work I don't put on mine" I chuckle. "Anyway, are you ready?"
"One last thing."
"Pedri!" I groan.
"We can't leave without her."
"Her? Who?"
"Her" he smiles, showing me what he was hiding in his suitcase.
"Is that… Is that my Minnie?"
"Her twin sister. If you had come with your aunt you would have brought her with you, right?"
"I would have, yes."
"Well, I thought that we should do the same. But then I worried you may lose her or get her dirty, and if anything happened to her you would be gutted and I could not bear seeing you like that. So I bought you another Minnie for you to carry around the same way you would have done as a kid, but without having to worry about what happens to her. Though if she survives, it would be a cute memory."
"No."
"What?" Pedri says with a confused look.
"It would not be a cute memory. It would be one of the best memories of my life. And you are the one who is cute. The cutest human being ever" I say before throwing myself at him and hugging him while crying like a baby.
"Aww, Val" he says while hugging me back, one of his hands moving up and down my back, trying to comfort me. But that gesture only makes me cry harder. Why is he so cute?
"I love you, Pedri" I manage to say.
"I love you too" he replies.
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"That was the best thing ever! So so so good! I kind of want to do it again."
"What?" Pedri says, looking at me as if I've grown another head.
"I was joking, don't worry" I laugh. "But it was so good! Much better than what I had seen online and… Pedri. Pedri, hey. Are you ok?"
"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine."
"You are so pale… Let's sit down" I say, grabbing his arm and walking him towards a bench.
"Yes, let's sit down while my stomach goes back to its usual place."
"Pedri, you should have told me you were scared of the Tower of Terror before we went in. Look at you, you are so white you could pass for a Real Madrid shirt."
"I'm not in the mood for jokes, Valeria" he says, giving me a murderous look. "And if I didn't say anything it was because I didn't know I was scared of it. I thought it would be one of those houses where people show up out of nowhere and scare you, not one where you are dropped into the void."
"Sorry" I say, moving my hand up and down his arm, trying to comfort him like he had done for me a few hours ago. "There actually is a place like that, we can go later."
"I'll think about it."
"Ok" I chuckle. "But I guess this means we aren't checking the Star Wars ride."
"Do they drop you somewhere?"
"It is a rollercoaster."
"I'll think about that too" Pedri says, closing his eyes and leaning back on the bench.
"Is your stomach still on your throat?" 
"I don't know where it is anymore, Val. I don't know if I have a stomach anymore, to be honest."
"Aww, Pedri. Will a cuddle make you feel better?"
"We can try" he says, trying really hard not to smile.
"Look at you. Even while dying you still are a cheeky little thing" I giggle.
"Always, my dear" he replies. "Always."
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hs-is-loml · 2 years ago
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Love Looks Good On You. (a.t)
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CHAPTER SEVEN
Pairing: Aegon II Targaryen x Velaryon!OC
Summary: the aftermath of the disastrous dinner
Warnings: (18+ CONTENT AFTER THE SECOND CUT) fluff, little angst, typical family drama, incestual relationship uncle/niece (UNEDITED)
a/n: hey, guys! i am so sorry for the sudden break, i've been dealing with a lot for the past couple of weeks, and got food poisoning the other day which has not been fun. anyways enough about me tell me what you guys would want to see in the upcoming chapters! any ideas are appreciated :)
masterlist - series masterlist
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"Fire burns even when it is against itself," Helaena whispered aloud to no one in particular, but it caught Viserra's ears though she decided not to comment on it just yet as she tried to process the girl's words.
"Sister, are you alright?" Aemond asked Viserra which broke her train of thought as his eye filled with slight worry when he saw the exhaustion behind Viserra's eyes once all the guests had left the royal family alone.
"I will be the second they leave King's Landing," she responded to him with a tight-lipped smile. "They do not belong here."
"Sweet girl, they will be gone soon enough," Alicent tried to comfort the stressed girl going over to her and pulling Viserra into a motherly embrace.
"Thank you," Viserra whispered to Alicent.
"For what, Viserra?"
"You are the mother, I wished for as a child."
When Alicent processed Viserra's words, her eyes welled with tears and a soft smile was placed in of her usual flat-lined one, "I am honored you consider me as one."
"When will Rhaenyra understand that the crown is not her to take anymore," Corlys exasperated to the family breaking the sweet moment between Viserra and Alicent. "That stunt they just pulled is a mockery."
"I expected more from my own daughter, but it shows that Daemon has finally gotten to her head once more," Viserys said as Alicent returned to his side helping him stand with his cane.
"Daemon got to her long before all of this," Alicent countered.
"Yes, I suppose I was too blind to see it before," Viserys admitted with a sigh.
"My sister seems to be quite delusional," Aegon commented. "She seems to lose more and more of her common sense as time goes on."
"That is if she had any to begin with," Viserra butted in earning a laugh from Aegon. "They always have to ruin everything and somehow make it about themselves every single time," Viserra sighed in frustration allowing Aegon to wrap his arm around her shoulder to pull her into his side.
"Darling-" Viserys started before getting cut off by his cousin.
"Viserys, she has point. We all know it," Rhaenys pointed out to him. "Though Daemon seems to be the main trouble of our worries."
"Daemon is blinded by his desire for power," Viserys stated. "It is sad that he has pulled Rhaenyra into his life of schemes."
"Power he will never have," Aegon scoffed.
"Daemon will know his place soon enough," Otto reassured him.
"Fire burns even when it is against itself," Helaena repeated again under her breath catching Viserra's attention once more.
"Helaena, sweet girl, could you say that again for me?" Viserra pulled herself out of Aegon's arms and took ahold of Helaena's hands. "What did you see?"
"Fire burns even when it is against itself," Helaena said once more. "Fire consumes, but only one will make it out alive."
"Helaena, I hope you do not mean-" Alicent started moving closer to the pair.
Viserra pulled her hands away and turned to face her family once more before saying, "I will prove what is rightfully mine with fire and blood."
"With fire and blood," the Targaryens of her family repeated after her.
"Till the end," Corlys, Alicent, and Otto finished giving a solemn nod to one another in understanding know the Targaryens are only as strong as they are united.
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"My love, we will make it right," Aegon rubbed Viserra's shoulders as she sat at her vanity in their now-shared chambers.
"That is not my worry right now, Aegon," Viserra sighed softly. "Every time they speak aloud, it demeans me," she continued dishearteningly.
"Let me take your mind off them," he whispered into her ear leaving a trail of kisses down her neck as he moved his hands to the nape of her neck to remove her jewelry.
"You are too eager."
"Can you blame me? I have waited a long time for this," he reminded her as he went to remove the pins from the crown before moving on to unravel her braid relieving her scalp from the tension. She felt him press warm kisses alongside her jaw traveling back down to her neck. She let out small strings of moans as she tilted her head to the side allowing him greater access while he continued to nip at her neck
Lucky for the two, The King and Queen respected your wishes for not having a bedding ceremony. Aegon nearly went into a tantrum when he found out one of the council members brought it up in a meeting. Considering Aegon has an extremely possessive personality, he downright refused wanting no man other than him to see Viserra in such a way. So they came to the agreement that in the morning her handmaiden would check the sheets.
Aegon broke away from her neck turning her to face him and pulling her into a searing kiss. He led her near the bed before moving his hand to untie and slip off her dress letting it pool around Viserra's ankles. She stepped over her dress and slipped her hands under Aegon's tunic to feel around his toned torso before ultimately removing it from him.
"You are too beautiful."
"Only for you, my love."
"That's right, only for me," he stated. "Mine. All mine."
"Yours," she moaned out.
"Mine to take."
"Anything."
"Mine to give."
"Yes."
He pushed her to fall lightly on the bed before taking his position above her. He let his hand roam around her naked body in full admiration. He leaned down to capture her breast in his mouth while massaging the other with his hand. She moaned at the feeling of him lapping his tongue over her hardened nib. He took it between his teeth and pulled on it slightly causing Viserra to spew out curses and tangle her hands in his hair.
"No one will ever see you like this other than me."
"Never," she reassured. "Oh, Aegon," she breathed heavily as he without any warning slipped a finger inside her.
He slowly pumped his finger in and out before adding another making her moan loudly for him. He took them in by kissing her. His tongue explored her mouth as they both fought for dominance. She felt her stomach tighten as her walls clench around his fingers.
"Let go for me, Viserra," he purred into her ear kissing over the small bruises he had left on her earlier.
He quickened his pace and the lewd sounds of his fingers sliding in and out of her filled the chambers along with her moans. Aegon took notice when her face contorted when she was close and how her mouth fell open when her body shook with pleasure as he worked her through the orgasm.
He pushed inside her slowly allowing himself to sink into her warmth. He stilled for a moment inside her allowing Viserra to adjust to him. The feeling of fullness engulfed her every emotion making her mind a blur. He groaned in delight as she unintentionally squeezed her walls around him.
"Calm," Aegon whispered.
He began rocking back and forth barely pulling out of her to only push back in deeper. He bottomed out to quickly plunge himself even deeper into her. He repeatedly brushed against the sensitive spot in her causing Viserra to tightly wrap her legs around his waist in order to pull him closer to her body. He grunted as he felt her clench her walls around him tightly. The moans that left her lips encouraged him to quicken his pace as he had a bruising grip on her hips.
"So good, Aegon," she babbled out. "So full."
"Look at you, so incredibly beautiful like this fucked out of your mind," he mocked slightly.
"Please," she whined out with heavy breaths as she felt her release approach her rapidly.
"That's it, just like that," he told her while he searched for his own release. Sweat glistened over their bodies as Aegon hilted deep in her allowing him to spill inside her walls. He momentarily collapsed over her before moving to lay beside her pulling her close into him.
"I love you."
"And I love you."
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TAGLIST:
@jupitersblondie @justaproudslytherpuff @poppyflower-22 @nsainmoonchild @duhitzdae @stargaryenx @letsloveimagines @stitchattacks @ruyitheempress @ladespedidas @miqaelababa @mommytauriel @whitejuliana1204 @ietss @targaryenmoony
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nerdieforpedro · 1 year ago
Text
The Long Road to Together
Tommy Miller x Original plus size female character (Velora)
Fanfiction 18+
Masterlist
Warnings: Angst, Fluff, drug addiction mention, pain management, anxiety, PTSD, mentions of death, possible dub con (maybe), body worship, Tommy Miller's dirty talk, fingering, oral sex (female receiving), P in V (practice safe sex everyone), pregnancy kink, domestic fluff, cheesy jokes
Summary: Velora has been apart of the Miller brothers' lives decades. She's particularly close to Tommy. They've shared countless memories with each other over the years and in a single night everything changes. If only they'd get out of their own way.
Notes: So, I put many subjects and themes I've wanted to write about in here. It should make sense, I had the wonderful @musings-of-a-rose beta it for me and as a fellow Tommy fan, I trust her. I did also add a subplot with Joel because, why not try one out? I really enjoyed this and for Tommy's character. I have a different take on him.
Word count: just under 16K (because Tommy's worth it!)
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“You got anything for a bad back?” 
“Nothing that will actually take care of the pain. Best I can promise you is to dull it. You need to go see a specialist, Joel.”
“That sounds like it’s gonna take time I don’t have. You know I gotta…”
“Yeah, I know. Just let me know what appointments they have and I’ll see what my shifts are like old man. You can’t be folding over when Sarah’s just getting into high school. There will be boys there!” 
A slap was heard to Joel’s shoulder and he winced, letting out a curse as he hunched over further at his desk. The stress of running the business by himself was getting to him. Tommy had taken a sabbatical as he called it, the timing had been pretty poor. Thankfully, he had a woman who he considered a little sister to help him out. Her father had been friends with theirs and they always hung out together as children. In middle school, the family moved away for a time, but returned while the Miller brothers were in the middle of high school. Velora had just started high school and looked similar to how she did now, telling dumbass jokes, finding a reason to smack Joel and always being supportive. 
He organized the files that he would need for tomorrow and in particular, permits needed for a job the company would be starting on a ranch outside of Austin. Rebuilding a stable wasn’t too out of their depth, Joel just needed to research more on the permits required which he did, but damn if all the reading was making his head hurt even with his glasses on, add his back pain to that and he was miserable. He missed riding horses, but not so much he was willing to risk not being able to move for a few days. Velora had taken over administrative tasks that Tommy normally did as he was better at it and knew how to navigate the different offices they normally had to deal with the state and city, he was also much better at schmoozing suits and the like than his grumpy self. Velora helped out on her days off in between her shifts at the hospital. She sent Joel off for the evening and put away files that the elder Miller brother had taken out for review. 
“He’s got to learn to put this stuff back. Otherwise he’s never going to find anything.” Velora griped, she wore gray capri leggings because they were easy to move in and matched her white t-shirt. Usually she would dress a bit better for the office in case Joel brought any clients by, but he had been out most of the day, leaving her to get phone calls, further organize items and files. She was also trying to understand Tommy’s organization system which even though he had explained it over the phone twice, she still didn’t understand. “He’s been gone three weeks, like I get it but also I still don’t get what I’m looking at. It’s not even organized by color, number or alphabet, what the fuck is this?” Her brain hurt trying to work out the system. She thought Tommy had mentioned to her that it was by the date they took the client on, but there was no distinction between finished jobs and complete ones as those were mixed in and with different dates. “I feel like he could tell me five more times and I wouldn’t get it.” Shaking her head, she put the files where she thought they went near the front of the file cabinet and locked up the office, heading out to her car and driving home. Once in front of her small two bedroom, one and a half bath house, she sighed, happy to be home. She had a shift again tomorrow, but hopefully Joel would actually look for an appointment. Icy hot, tiger balm and heat packs could only do so much. Velora understood why Joel didn’t want to go to a pain clinic, he’d have to tell them about his past addiction issues with alcohol and it may affect his treatment plan, hell with some doctors, they just keep recommending tylenol and ibuprofen when that clearly hasn’t been working for him. He needed good pain management.
Kicking off her shoes, Velora flopped back on the couch and started at the ceiling. It was 8:30 at night. Too early to go to bed and too late to start any shows or movies.
“Where are you Tommy Miller?”
Elsewhere in the world…
The grass was crisp under his feet, the sun had just set not too long ago as he walked back down to the rock outcrop overlooking the rolls of green grass he had seen earlier that day. He couldn’t sleep again. The younger Miller brother had been worried about his brother Joel. He knew he didn’t deal too well with people even with Velora helping him. But he would text Joel later and maybe give Velora a call. There was more he needed to discuss with her than anyone else.
It had been seven years. They seemed to have passed by in a blink of an eye. Tommy recalled first joining the US Army, doing his patriotic duty and a way to use up the excess aggression he had from not really knowing where he was going next in life. At first it was fine, basic training then he was assigned to a platoon where he got to know other soldiers. It was when he was assigned to the 1st Armored Division that his optimism started to wear thin. His core group consisted of himself and five other members; they actually made it through Operation desert storm. What he saw there, the things he did, he never spoke about them except with the group and one person removed from the war. But the bodies, the smells, the tastes,, the sounds all of it overloaded everyone. Each man had their own way of dealing with it. One of the group was dishonorably discharged for using heroin he found overseas, but the Army never said what they did with the rest of it after removing it from belongings. He wasn’t the only one they confiscated it from, anyone who had it was dishonorably discharged but it was never made public what happened with the drugs. It was also never mentioned in great detail what they did to the country of Iraq. No one ever mentioned completely decimating and crippling a country, nearly burning it down to its foundation only for the same people who supplied the Army’s weapons and gear to switch profit off of a land that they aided in destroying. 
Tommy left the army after seven years of service, thankfully his brother allowed him in the construction company to work so he wouldn’t go completely insane. But his ‘Ironsides’ members weren’t so lucky. One died from an opioid overdose, another from drunk driving and two from suicide by gunshot. None of the funerals were covered fully by the VA, each family only received $1500 toward burial costs, but had full honors with all the pomp and circumstance. The two cousins in their group asked to have their ashes spread to their home which was Ireland, the only reason the veteran came to this place. It was beautiful though he had to admit. He may want to bring Joel and Sarah here, his brother would complain the entire time but he may get a grin out of it and Sarah would enjoy exploring the land. The younger Miller wondered if he should ask Velora to come too, she wasn’t one for the cold, but may like the greenery too. Watching his oldest friend muddle around the hilly terrain would be fun, he could steady her, show her the lakes and watch the sunset with her. Tommy felt he may not have cried as much if his Sweet Pea was here, she could crack a joke or just let him hold her, rock him  slowly as his head was on her shoulder. 
With two urns, one under each arm, Tommy carefully set one down and opened one, pouring the ashes out to scatter across the cool breeze that was blowing. He did the same with the second urn, waiting until another wind could carry the ashes away. Tommy had taken more time then he told Joel and Velora he would be gone, he didn’t mean to stay longer. It was just easier, he could work though his emotions more and not risk breaking down in front of them, though that had failed with Velora the night he told her he was going to spread that ashes per his brothers-in-arms wishes. 
Four weeks ago…
He had mentioned it like he was going to the store. She had asked him to explain and he didn’t. Tommy wasn’t going to until she pulled him into a hug. He didn’t realize it at the time, but tears had been running down his face. He remembered the warmth of her embrace and settled into the couch with her, almost laying on top of her to cuddle. She just ran her fingers through his hair, they didn’t say anything to each other, he tried to make as little noise as possible while sobbing. Her red shirt she had been wearing was soaked with his tears. Velora never mentioned his crying when he followed her to the bedroom and demanded to sleep next to her, promising to only hold her hand. She had smiled and told him it was fine if he needed more from her, to take what he needed. No matter if it had been money, time, food or those three DVDs he never returned, his old friend never complained. Velora would just smile and tell him it was okay. Even when Joel would get pissed with Tommy about the direction the company was going in to missing a game or two of Sarah’s (he really tried not to but sometimes the suits at the city were really long winded and insisted on drinks),  Velora would be there in his stead for his niece and tell him play by play as much as she could of the game when she would stop by in the evening. The veteran recalled that the night had been humid, despite the fan running, moisture stuck to their skin. Velora was in her simple thin nightgown and Tommy just wore his boxer-briefs to bed. 
Tommy may have took that a few steps too far. 
The night began with him holding her hand, that was fine for a time but, then he took her into his arms from behind, drawn to her soft curves that accommodated his taut muscles. The delicate oche tone of her skin glowed within the moonlight. It was when he kissed the back of her neck and his hand went to her breasts that she pulled away from his touch slightly,
“Tommy…don’t play around and go to sleep.” He heard her say, he couldn’t make out the inflection of her voice. His friend’s hips wiggled toward him, his free hand grabbed her hip, pulling it toward him.
“I’m not Sweet Pea. I need to touch you more, just let me, just for tonight.” A growl emerged from his chest, his teeth grazed her shoulder before nipping her lightly. Her gasps encouraged him further, she never said it, but a small smile always came to her lips when Tommy called her that. 
“Alright, but just…ah..” Velora wasn’t given a chance to finish her sentence. Her breast was plopped out of her nightgown as his hips grinded into hers. Tommy kept calling her his sweet pea in her ear and she reached a hand back to try and reach his cock, to feel it. “J-Just put a condom on and stick it in…” An order that Tommy wasn’t willing to follow right now, instead he pulled away from her, quickly slipped his boxers off and turned Vel on her back. “W-What are you doing? Why didn’t you just-” The nightgown she had on was over her head, the veteran hovered over her, he knew she would be angry but he would not fuck her the first time. Maybe the second time but not the first. Tommy had already planned other times he may bend her over. He wanted to make love to her in this moment, subsequent encounters could be messy and quick but the younger Miller brother wanted to savor her body as Velora was now, only for him..
“You told me to take what I needed.” His mouth took her erect nipple and large chocolate areola into his mouth, hearing her scream the first time convinced him that this was right. Her hands ran through his then medium length raven hair, tugging on it, his chest pressed into her stomach, sinking in it. The sensation had him grunt onto her nipple, rolling it with his tongue, his legs wrapped around her calf, his length dragging against her leg. Her body continued to writhe under his, his face soon in between her breasts nuzzling the sensitive skin between. Velora was looking down at him, panting, surprise on her face. She hadn’t expected him to fully undress her nor to try to explore her. “Velora,” Tommy paused and peered up at her, “I need all of you, so I’m going to take it all. Are you alright with that Sweet Pea?” He asked, moving upward and settling himself between her wide thighs. He wasn’t going to enter her yet. However, though she did spread her legs for him, Tommy closed her thighs around his waist so he could feel their soft embrace. 
“Yes, I told you to take what you need. I didn’t quite expect this way though.” Her digits danced along his bellybutton, then his stomach, not as firm as his military days, but still tight enough to display an ab or two. The pads of her fingers circle his nipples, small but at attention, all for her right now. “You don’t have to be gentle either Tommy. I’m here with you, for you. Just let go.”
“Sweet Pea, I want to be careful with you. You deserve that, always you hear?” Descending, he felt her heartbeat against her chest with his, glad to know he wasn’t the only one feeling like it might burst. “Give me your love Vel.” Lips crashed together, he bit her bottom lip, drawing a sliver of blood. He just said he’d be gentle but it was overwhelming, one of his hands took the back of her head and forced it forward, deepening the kiss, Vel mewled into his mouth and pressed her feet into the mattress to help move her hips forward, she felt the throbbing of Tommy’s cock just above her folds, a hand came between her and the velvet skin. Two fingers parted her lower lips and a squeal was heard when he released her head and it fell on the pillow. “Not yet Vel, gonna eat that dripping pussy.” He meant to use sweet words with her, that’s what she should be hearing, his Sweet Pea. Sliding back down, Tommy hoisted her thighs on his shoulders, giving each a small peck and pulling them so she could only see his hair for a small part of his forehead. When he spoke directly into her mound, he heard her say it,
“Fuck Tommy, make me cum. Sop my pussy up with your mouth!”
The younger Miller brother smacked his lips. “I’m going to have to see how dirty I can get you to talk Sweet Pea.” His nose ran up her slit, taking in her strong scent, he caressed her opening with his plush lips before slipping his tongue inside, rotating his the tip of his oral muscle was causing her cunt to quelch already, he then inserted it centimeter by centimeter , reveling in her screaming his name. His length continued to throb but his goal was to have her climax before entering her. The waves of contractions inside of her canal was constricting his tongue, he longed to have his cock inside of her, to have her continue to cry out his name while he could watch her face unravel. The pressure on the sides of his head increased as her large thighs pressed together in an effort to keep him right where he was, not that Tommy had plans to be anywhere else. His nose tickled her clit and provided a particularly strong clamp down from her. So he set his elbows against the mattress and forced his face against her mound, holding his breath as he used his nose and mouth to make her climax. With alternating curses, calling on the Lord and Tommy’s name, Velora reached her peak, the soldier was able to at least draw his face back a little before suckling on her clit, overloading her body, making it jerk. Tommy managed to inhale deeply, satisfied that his face was soaked with her scent and nectar. He ran two fingers through her cunt and brought them to her mouth. “Suck on them with that loud filthy mouth on yours. Turns out I needed this side of you love.” 
Her warm tongue quietly took her own juices from Tommy’s fingers, after they were clean, he got up from the bed and rummaged through his jacket and found a condom. He looked up at Velora who was turned on her side toward him, the easy shine of their affection for one another draped her body. Her curves and stretch marks on full display, ‘she’s mine’ he decided. ‘No one else’s, I’ll make damn sure of it.’ He crouched down next to the bed, meeting her at eye level, “Velora, you’re sure you’re alright with this next part?” He needed to know. They were friends first and foremost and he respected her boundaries, except tonight of course, but he wanted to make sure she was really okay with it. The woman nodded and took his hand in hers. 
“Tommy Miller, get in this bed and make love to me. You said you wanted my love. I’m giving it to you. Come to me.” She got up on her knees and held onto the headboard to keep herself from tipping over back onto the bed. “I told you to let go. Just have me. Please.” It was the look she gave him, so permissive and delicate. His arms wrapped around her once more as he kissed her, not deeply just to touch his lips against hers. Their foreheads touched and he met his nose with hers. 
“Velora, you’re a hellova woman.” Tommy smirked and laid her back, moving her toward the middle of the bed. He was in between her thighs once again as she opened herself before him. As he rolled the condom on his length, he marveled at her body; wide, tender, subdued and hushed for him, she bit down on her lip to quiet herself, presumably because he had mentioned volume and word choice. Tommy didn’t want her to quiet down now. He wanted her to go hoarse from calling his name, from what he did to her. Leaning forward, he pressed his tip into her folds, releasing himself and using both hands to cup her face, his thick fingers massaging her the top of her jaw, just under her ears, “Look at me Sweet Pea. Open your mouth, I want you to use those lungs.” A short nod from her was all it took, his hips eased forward and back easily for the first few pumps, only going in half way, keeping his eyes locked on hers as she cried out, 
“Oh…oh..fuck Tommy, you’re…spreading…me…” Velora whimpered, her thighs began to close again and his hands had to move to keep them open. His rhythm picked up as his elbows made contact with her knees pulling her legs back toward her chest and curling her body for a deeper angle, the pace picked up as he was now diving his cock fully into her flush with her mound and pulling back until only the head of length was inside of her. It was difficult, he could barely speak because her cunt kept sucking back in deeper, the slapping of their skin filled the room. Tommy raised one of her legs and turned his head to bite her calf, then licking it after, tracing his tongue over his teeth marks.
“This pussy is mine Sweet Pea, you won’t fit anyone else Vel. Goddamn you tight as a vice woman…” He murmured into her leg, pounding into her, he felt the pulse of his hardness growing closer to completion. Velora reached for Tommy, her arms stretched outward toward him, he dropped her legs and grabbed her love handles, continuing to roll his hips into hers. His forearms were scratched by her nails, leaving red marks on his olive skin. “Velora, you hear me? This cunt is mine only mine. Say it Sweet Pea.” A command with her pet name. It pushed her over the edge, 
“Shit yes, yes yes yes Tommy, my pussy’s just for you. Tommy Ahh!” Her neck flicked back as her walls closed around his heat, he was able to push into her six or seven more times before he released inside of her. The veteran didn’t pull out yet, dropping himself slowly on top of her plush form and ran his nose over her lips that were slightly parted, there was droop at the corner of her mouth, her eyes had tears dotting them, his large hand cupped her cheek against and tipped her face forward so her neck was no longer bent. “T-Tommy…T-Tommy that was…I…” Her quiet words expressed what he couldn’t. 
What has he done with his best friend? They’ve crossed a major line. He was worried that when they came out of this, she wouldn’t speak of it, like other insecurities and issues that he had told her about over the years. She never shied away from listening to his thoughts, however intrusive and depressive. But he didn’t want to be this vulnerable with anyone else. Even with other women he dated, there was always a barrier that he put up as far as feelings. They always told him he hid behind his humor and sarcasm. Tommy knew he did, but the one person he was always comfortable with was Velora, was he the same for her? He realized he had never asked, not that she didn’t share her own issues with him, but she didn’t talk about men she dated with him so much. Not that he encouraged it, he never wanted to hear about her dating life, no one would be good enough for his Sweet Pea, was he even good enough for her?
“Valora, rest. I’ll be right back.” A peck from his lips to hers before he slid out of her and got out of the bed. He went to the bathroom to dispose of the condom. Looking in the trash can, he scoffed at the loss, ‘should be inside of..’ before he could finish the thought, he cursed himself. Tommy knew he needed to stop, they hadn’t even had a conversation about what they just did, he was thinking about putting his seed inside of her?! “Fuck, I’m insane…” Shaking his head, he grabbed a washcloth out of her bathroom and returned to the bed, Vel had rolled on her side and was attempting to sit at the side of the bed, “Let me clean you up first, take it easy.” he brushed the back of his hand on the copper toned flesh of her hip. He tapped the washcloth on her thigh as she raised her leg and he held it for her, wiping front to back before tossing it on the dresser, knocking over a lotion bottle or two.
“Tommy, why would you throw it?” She asked, chuckling, ‘thank God, she still laughs. That’s good.’ His eyes went from her face to her slit, despite wiping it down it was still glistening, he licked his lips before setting her leg back down and letting her pull on his shoulder to sit up next to him at the bedside. Velora looked forward for a few minutes before speaking again. 
“Did you take all you needed lucky beetle?” She kept turned away from him. “Thanks for cleaning me up Tommy. We should head to…” his hand ran up her spine.
“We’re not doing anything until we talk about this. Vel, I…I want to..” She kissed his cheek and told him words that devastated him.
“This should be between us like always. I won’t ask you for anymore. We’re just- just friends. I hope I was able to help you some. We don’t have to talk about it.” The younger Miller brother remained silent as she wobbled to the bathroom to relieve herself, she closed the door. In his disappointment, he quickly threw his clothes on and dressed, leaving her home and hopping into his truck. A deep wail came from Tommy before he started the engine and drove home, he laid awake and slept through his alarm the following day. Within the week he was off to Ireland to distribute the ashes, he said he would be gone for a week, week and a half tops. He was gone for about three weeks.
Velora’s tears streaked her face in her bathroom. She should have told him that yes, she wanted her cunt to be just his. For him to only be with her and no one else, but she couldn’t. She knew how Tommy gets when he’s sad or frustrated by something he can’t control. That’s when he’d normally find a woman to fuck. She’d used it to her advantage, granted she didn’t think it would happen, it never had before. The woman wore the same nightgown she had before, bland panties, they cuddled like they normally did. He liked to be the big spoon. She knew she shouldn’t have given in, but it was Tommy, her Tommy. She’s known him for more than half her life, tried to date other men but they flat out don’t compare or worse, they actually suck. She couldn’t tell him that it was the first time she had sex fully naked and the lights on, that he asked to see her face and took the time to prep her before entering her. God he used the mouth that she dreamed about on her, just thinking about it now…She should have let him finish. But she was afraid he’d say it first…that it should be another thing between friends. The way she heard him hastily dress and run out of her house told her, she had done to him what men had done to her in the past: dismissed his feelings.
In the time he was gone Sweet Pea tried to go on dates, but she couldn’t stand the touch of another man, even from a side hug she flinched. Whoever said the best way to get over a man is by getting under a new one was wrong. She can’t even be near a new one.
Two days before arriving home…
Joel had spoken to Tommy two days before the latter’s flight home, asking what the hell he did to make V go on so many dates. Tommy was curious how his brother knew the information given that he didn’t think they spoke about subjects like that. Joel said that he heard it from Tess, Joel’s off and on again, whatever she was. That was an entire bag of worms he wasn’t getting into. At least his relationship with Velora wasn’t like that…but it could be. They started out as friends and now those two assholes can’t be in the same room without eye-fucking each other or cursing up a storm. Tommy explained that they had a miscommunication when he last spoke to her and that’s why they were unusually curt with each other on the phone. Joel gave it some thought, sure he was closer to forty-five than forty, but nah, Tommy wouldn’t have right? Not with…
“Tommy you didn’t sleep with V did you? Tell me you didn’t.” Tommy could hear Joel’s head droop. Damn him and using the same disappointing voice he uses when Sarah talks a bit too much trash at soccer and makes one of the girls on the other teams cry. 
“We sleep over each other’s homes fairly often after we hang out. I told you, it’s just..”
“Goddammit Tommy! You can’t do that shit, especially not to her. You know you can’t cut her out of your life like you do other women. I told you this shit would come back to bite you in your ass like a snake in a hole.” His older brother's condemnation of his actions past and present made Tommy suck his teeth.
“This from the guy who keeps holding on to a woman who only uses him for a few good times and disappears for months at a time. Fuck, she’s one who told me we’re not going to talk about it. Still be friends. What the hell else was I supposed to do? I took some extra time, what’s wrong with that?”
“The difference is I know what my relationship with Tess is, you asshole. You slept with a woman who’s been there for you through all your shit. I know you made it about you. It wasn’t about her at all, was it?”
Silence…his brother had him there. At the time, it hadn’t been about her, he even used the fact that she said he could use her however he wanted to do exactly that. Tommy exhaled.
“Then what the hell am I supposed to do now? I’ve already blown everything to shit. She’s doing the same thing I would, getting out there and meeting some guys. Why’d you have to tell me you asshole? I fuckin’ hate it…she’s out with some bastard who won’t even….”
“Eh, I don’t need details of what ya’ll did. And it’s not really going that well. She told Tess that she freaks out when the guys try to touch her, even holding her hand. It’s all for show, guess trying to prove something to herself. Both of ya are a damn pair.” Joel chuckled on the line, the first time during their conversation. Tommy followed suit and a low rumble of laughter. 
“We’re two people who make shitty ass decisions. Just, see if Tess can get her to hold off ‘till I come home. I know her, it’s only making things worse and she’s going to be in head about it. All of it.”
“Yeah, on that same token little brother, get your head out of your ass and talk to the woman. Velora deserves that much at least. You’ll have to get her to listen tho’. I don’t think she’ll be keen on ya right now.”
“Shut up and just pick me up at the airport in a few days. Bring Sarah, I miss my cute niece.”
“Don’t tell me to shut up and then mention my daughter. I shouldn’t bring her just to spite ya. But she wants to ses you too. Loves your stupid ass. I guess you’re a’right at times Tommy. Take care, I gotta go to bed.”
“Lucky you. You can sleep. I’m just awake for no damn reason. You aren’t the worst big brother. See you in a few days.” 
The brothers smiled as they ended their calls. Joel trotted upstairs and kissed Sarah goodnight as she was already in bed. She stirred slightly and a smile formed on her face at her father’s warmth. One of the few times Joel didn’t look like he was completely over everything was whenever he gazed upon his daughter, his only light. 
It was 3:15 am where Tommy was packing up most of clothes, he had brought a backpack and a duffle bag that was significantly lighter now that the two urns weren’t in it, plus he wouldn’t need to check his bags this time so he might get through their airport quicker and get home. He went out into the cold night air with his coat on, hands in his pockets and hair tied back. The puffs of hot hair leaving his nose made him chuckle, he thought of her again, hoping that she hadn’t had too many dates in his absence but some to make her feel better. He didn’t want them to have gone well of course, but if she has the dates that’s fine. Joel wasn’t wrong, he did need to speak to her when he got back, he just had no clue what to say. 
Sorry for fucking you? Sorry for telling you that I don’t want anyone else to see you like this? That I’m especially sorry for not doing this years ago when I first realized that my feelings for you went deeper than that of a friend and maybe sabotaged some of your dates, sent messages from your phone and comforted you when the guys of course stopped communicating with you. Thankfully I only did that a few times before you caught me and told me to just tell you if I thought a guy was trash. I brushed you off because I would tell you they were all trash, but I knew I was garbage too because I was still fucking around, so i couldn’t tell you that. I didn’t have the right. Actually, that might be why you said what you did that night, you knew I didn’t have the right to you. I used you once again and why should I feel like I’m entitled to more? Just because of how you said my name, how you seemed surprised when I wanted to see you and hold you, how good you felt in my arms, how happy I am when I’m in yours…I’ve really screwed the pooch on this one. 
The short walk and the cold air gave Tommy pause as he found himself at the same rocky outcrop that he had spread the ashes over. “Had I asked, you would have come with me. I should have just asked…I have to tell you sorry in person, Sweet Pea.” The stars were hanging in the sky, twinkling at the haunted man. He began slowly back to his cabin and was finally able to sleep, there was no one to hold him when he shed his tears that night.
Velora had tears of a different nature, she was able to finally kiss one of her dates, it was a fair kiss, definitely not like her one with Tommy. She compared him with everyone now that she had a taste of him. Her date suggested that they go back to his place to which she declined, there was no spark, no longing, no anticipation. The man was good looking, could put sentences together, paid for dinner, seemed nice, no real reason to not try him out except he wasn’t Tommy Miller. He didn’t have his dark hair, deep brown eyes, that goofy looking mustache that tickled her tummy, his cinnamon skin or velvet voice. This man was none of those things and it wasn’t his fault. It was hers for agreeing to this date. Vel’s friends were proud of her for getting out there and exploring her options, but she was going through the motions, no matter if it was work, helping out Joel and Sarah or just moping at home, it was all hollow. The man walked her to her car, to which she thanked him for the date and drove home. 
Once home, she hopped in the shower and wash the date away, scrubbing her inner thighs especially as he had tried to finger under the table, but seemed to have difficulty navigating her large thighs, she couldn’t tell if he just hadn’t been with a larger woman or was out of practice in general. Velora got out of the shower, dried off and brushed her teeth, using extra mouthwash, she didn’t want to taste that man at all. 
Sitting on the bed, she looked at herself in the mirror, wrapped in her towel. This was the room she was taken by Tommy or more apt, she offered herself to him. Happily. The circles under her eyes were darker and she chuckled, it’s not the first time she had cried over Tommy Miller, but it was usually because he had done something stupid and not the other way around. It was enough to keep that man in a place that would freeze a witch’s tit an extra week and a half. 
He may have told me that he wanted to be friends with benefits or maybe that he actually had feelings for me, but I didn’t let him talk. These men aren’t Tommy and it’s not their fault. I should have told him years ago but I didn’t want to lose him as a friend. Tommy, Joel and Sarah are family and I just couldn't…I still may lose them anyway. I shouldn’t have told Tess why I was crying and dating. She likely told Joel and…would he know? Is that why Tommy hasn’t come back yet? My head hurts. I feel like shit. Tommy’s the only one that looked at me like that, he touched me from head to toe and told me that I was only his. It was likely just dirty talk but still, it was nice to hear. Pfft, just nice? It was what I’ve always wanted to hear. I just didn’t want to be second anymore…Second to his grief, to his anger, pain and second to whoever the flavor of the month was. I’m tired of being second, I want to be first.
Vel laid across her bed and started at the ceiling, her tears were steady and she gave up trying to wipe them away. She woke up the next morning with a stuffy nose from not covering herself properly before sleeping. 
“Fuck, even my nose is tired of my shit…”
The day Tommy gets home…
Tommy arrived at the airport around seven in the evening, he was almost home. He had called Joel to pick him up, the uncle was excited to see his little niece as his brother said he would bring her. Normally he would call Vel but he couldn’t see her yet. Sarah and Joel greeted him warmly in the drop off area and helped him lay his bags in the truck. The brother chatted about how business had been and Sarah chimed in about soccer and school. The bright young teen did have something important to share.
“So Dad, we’re going to have pizza tonight right? Since Uncle Tommy’s back.”
“Yeah pumpkin I told you we would.” Joel sounded puzzled, unsure why his daughter was confirming plans they had already discussed. Tommy did not like the sound of this, it’s never good if Joel is surprised. He knew his brother stayed prepared. 
“I invited Aunt V to eat pizza with us, you got three pizzas right?” Tommy glared at Joel who kept his eyes on the road. His daughter may be in cahoots with Tess, which surprised him because he didn’t think Sarah liked the woman. He foresaw major issues going forward. 
“I ordered three because I thought it was going to be the four of us. You didn’t mention Vel.” The older Miller brother said slowly, he needed Tommy to know this was not his idea, and frankly he didn’t want the clusterfuck this was going to be, to be in his house.
“Well, Aunt V has been kinda down lately, hasn’t she Uncle Tommy?” Sarah leaned forward in her seat and patted Tommy's shoulder. He couldn’t lie to his only niece, but he also was not going to speak about his love life to a fourteen year old.
“I’ve been away Peanut so I wouldn’t know. Has she now? We should cheer her up.” Tommy bit his lips, and rocked forward, Joel knew those motions were, he was self-soothing. He was so pissed, but couldn’t say anything because he would sooner die then show Sarah anything other than her sweet uncle. Joel knew this was going to be a problem when they were alone. 
“Baby girl, you are so loved.” is all Joel managed to say before cutting on the radio.
Tess was at Joel’s house paying the pizza man and Velora was sitting on the couch. Tess was humming, this woman they all maybe saw three months total out of the year. It was weird, but Joel loved it so Vel figured she would just keep her trap shut. She shouldn’t speak about anyone’s relationship since she had mucked hers up with Tommy. Though a part of her wanted to look nice for him, so she ended up pinning her hair up, exposing her neck and wearing an olive green three-fourth sleeve shirt dress, she also may have left the top button open so she had a bit of cleavage showing but not too much. Sarah was going to be there after all. Vel also made sure to put on her favorite lotion from Bath & Body Works, ‘into the night.’ Maybe she was hoping for something to happen, at the very least, she wanted to be able to talk to him, likely not about the last time they saw each other but at least be civil.
The door opened and Sarah burst in, hugging Vel and snuggling into her, commenting on how good she smelled, Joel carried a bag of Tommy’s and hugged Tess, giving her a kiss on the cheek. That’s when Vel lost her breath, Tommy Miller strode through the doorway and set his backpack on the floor, nodding toward Tess. His eyes met Vel’s and he went to speak as she did , but nothing came from either of them. It looked like Sarah was going to say something but Joel suggested that they eat before the pizza gets cold. Everyone ate and listened to Tommy’s trip and embellished stories, Vel soaked up his laughter and smile, wondering how she would feel if he were to tell her he didn’t want to speak to her again, as he did other women. She was going through the motions again as Joel carted Sarah off to bed before long, she had fallen asleep across Velora’s lap. A place Tommy wanted to be. She looked beautiful, the earth tone dress looked gorgeous on her. It was then that he was surprised, Tess offered Vel a ride home. Apparently, a car ran a stop sign and rear ended her. She hadn’t been injured but her car was in the shop for repairs. Joel and Tess had been giving her rides from home to work. Tommy saw an opportunity. He had left his truck at Joel’s so he could drive home once he made it to their house after the airport. 
“I can drive you home Sweet Pea.” He stated quietly, setting a hand on her shoulder, he stepped in between Tess and where Vel was sitting. Tess was about to interject but Joel shook his head, signaling to let them be. Velora nodded. 
“Sure, thanks Tommy.” With that, she stood and thanked Tess for the offer giving her and Joel hugs before slipping her flip flops on and heading out with Tommy. He opened the truck door for her and she climbed in, he took special care to take a gander at her legs which the moonlight was reflecting off their well moisturized sheen. Tommy then got in the truck and started driving. 
“Tommy…I-I’m sor…”
“Leave it for when we get to your place. We need to sit and talk face to face.” The grave tone he used worried her, was this really happening? Was she going to lose her best friend over the best sex she had?
Once at her home, she opened the door and Tommy locked it after they got in, Velora set to opening a bottle of whiskey and pouring them both glasses with one cube of ice each. She sat next to Tommy on the couch and slowly sipped on her drink, clicking her nails on the glass. Tommy took a large swig and set his on the coffee table, taking hers and placing that on the table as well.
“Velora, I need you to listen to me. Don’t say anything yet.” 
“T-Tommy, just you’re not going to leave right? Just forget it. Just don’t tell me to go away.” His eyes widened, that wasn’t what he expected. He placed a hand on her thigh and squeezed to try and calm her, but that only made her jump. “I know I shouldn’t have, honestly you’d never taken me up on it before. I wanted to see how far you were going to go, I didn’t expect…not that i didn’t enjoy it, but if it means we can’t be friends then, I’ll forget about it.” Her speech was pressured and rapid, eyes wild and darting around, when she did focus on Tommy’s face, he saw that she was frightened. 
“Sweet Pea…Just give me a…” Tommy tried to cut her off to explain but she kept going.
“You can’t call me that anymore. You can’t say it like that. Sweet Pea, it makes me wet each time and I can’t, I can’t Tommy Miller! We’re friends, you can’t call me that, not after…” The tears that she had been avoiding since she saw him walk though Joel’s doorway broke through, it was Tommy’s turn to hold her and to console. It was then he realized he wasn’t the only one that had been having feelings over the years. How long had she been in love with him? How long had he been hurting her? How long had they been hurting each other?
“Velora I don’t want to be just your friend. I feel the same way. Honey please…” Tommy whispered as he brought her close, her tears were wetting his shirt, but it was fine by him. He just needed to make her understand that he didn’t want to share her. But he also thought maybe he shouldn’t undress her this time.
After some time, she stopped just embracing her, small hands wrapped around his back, pressing on his shoulder blades. They were quiet except for a few sniffles. Vel leaned back and kissed Tommy’s cheek, her face puffy from her waterworks,
“I’m sorry I didn't let you talk, well this time and especially the last time. I just wanted to avoid talking about it. I couldn’t handle you telling me it didn’t mean anything.”
“Velora. That’s not anything I would ever say to you. And it wasn’t what I was going to say the other night either. I planned to tell you that I don’t speak like that to anyone, even during sex and that I didn’t want you seeing anyone else. I don’t want to see anyone else. Vel…I…” Tommy was cut off by her lips, not forceful but clearly to quiet him again, he cupped her face and leaned into the kiss, letting out a small moan. He did let her go after he licked her bottom lip and she didn’t allow him in. Not that type of kiss he figured.
“Just a little at a time Lucky Beetle. Please a little at a time. You just told me something major, I can’t have you say that I love you right now too. I know you like to get things all out in the open but just let me sit in it a bit.” The explanation made sense to him, in his haste to share his feelings, he forgot that she needs things in pieces, slowly. It’s why he loved talking to her because she could help him see things part by part, but that was clearly different in a relationship aspect. Her hands raised to play with his hair, then ran along his cheeks and poked his mustache. “It’s not that I don’t want to hear it, but I just need time. It won’t be too much. I promise.” He nodded, accepting her proposal.
“Should we get you cleaned up? Your face looks a mess Sweet Pea. Er, not that…” The woman let out a bellowing laugh, it was a sound that he was elated to hear. He hadn’t heard it for weeks and the last time he did, was one of his highest and  lowest points.
“Yeah, I know I look a mess.” She stood up and patted his shoulder for him to follow her to the bedroom. “Tommy, I should tell you, or rather I don't know if you already heard from Joel, I have been on dates since you were away. A few…” A drawer opened and she got out a pair of boxer briefs and a t-shirt for him. Tommy had his own drawer at her house and she did at his, they had for years. “Like four dates,” She turned to face him, but kept her eyes to the ground, still she felt she needed to be honest. “None of them panned out. They weren’t you, I compared them all to you. Even the last one…” Her arms crossed over to stomach as she held her elbows, Tommy could fill in the gaps but he still needed to know.
“How far did you go with him?” He asked flatly. He readied himself for the potential answer that she may have slept with someone, it’s not like he hadn’t done the same thing in the past, though while he was away he didn’t think to. The vet hadn’t expected Velora to take a page from his playbook as far as fucking away feelings.
“Kissing and he tried to…well not that he could find what he was trying to finger. It’s not like mine’s in a different place than a smaller woman’s, you just have to go a little deeper.” Her eyes rolled as she complained and Tommy chuckled, it was entertaining  hearing her mock another man and gave him a sense of pride. 
“Sounds like you had a tough go of it hun.” He placed his hands on his hips, his mustache continued to dance above his upper lip as she continued to chuckle. Velora shook her head and threw the clothes at him, which he caught. “Thanks for telling me though, you're honest to a fault.”
“Shut up Miller. I’m going to shower first.” A small smirk greeted her lips as she grabbed her own nightshirt and panties before heading into the bathroom. Tommy set his clothes on the bed and went back into the living room to finish his whiskey. They felt more normal, like themselves. It was good, but he didn’t want it to stay like this. How else was it supposed to feel?
Velora took a quick shower and brushed her teeth, remembering the glass of whiskey she had and that mint likely wouldn’t taste good with it. She tossed her worn clothes in the hamper and found Tommy sitting on the couch, looking at his empty glass. “Did you want mine too? It doesn’t go well with colgate.” Tommy shook his head and downed her glass as well before heading into the bedroom and stripping, then into the shower. When he came back out, he put his clothes in a small pile in the corner of the room out of the way. The pair sat on the bed next to each other.
“So…”
“So…what do we do now?”
“We should sleep, talk more about things with fresh minds.”
“Did you want to go get breakfast tomorrow?”
“Sure, though I should probably check in with Joel to see if he needs help at the office.”
“It can wait until the next day, he’s actually doing better. Tess convinced him to go to a pain clinic.”
“Really? He left that part out when he was updating me. Old man with a sore back.”
Velora climbed up in the bed and slid under the covers, Tommy watched her and wondered if he could really sleep in the same bed as her without touching her. He should be able to, he has self-control. He followed suit and slipped under the covers as well, turning on his side away from her. If he faced her, he would feel tempted to touch her and after they had a positive conversation the last thing he needed to do was compromise that again.
Turned out it was not up to Tommy Miller whether things were going to happen or not.
Velora became the big spoon to Tommy’s little spoon and that was fine until the sun started to shine through the curtains of her bedroom window. Tommy rolled over on his back and Vel’s leg wrapped around his slim waist. That would be fine, if his hips hadn’t shifted up slightly and a familiar bulge touched her inner thigh. Exhaling, she opened her eyes to see if he was awake, he was not, his breathing still steady and his face in a neutral position. Her finger started to circle his dark nipple, she sank her body weight on top of his abdomen and rested her forehead on his chest, her soft digits inched along both sides of his clavicle. “Fucking delicious menance Tommy.” Vel hummed into his chest, sturdy hands took hold of her hips.
“Am I now? Right back at ya Sweet Pea. I thought I was having a damn good dream. Looks like wakin’ up is even better. Didn’t know you were such a vixen.” A low hum emerged from Tommy’s lips and he sat up, holding her over his hips. “Don’t move, you’re ridin’ me this mornin’ Sweet Pea.” His eyes had a soft glow to them, placing his lips over hers before she could protest, he knew what she’d say, to lay her back down because she was too heavy, but he didn’t want to, He wanted to watch as she bounced on top. Her hands moved from his chest to his shoulders, grasping tight, unsure how much pressure to put on him. Tommy, released her hips to slide his boxers down, unleashing his swollen member from the cloth confines. He then slid her thin wet panties aside to touch her puffy lower lips, a long moan was released from Vel as the mixture of cool air and warm callused fingers entering her, made her squirm. “Sweet Pea, you’re ready for me this morning aren’t ya? Fuck Vel, we wasted too much time. I could have had a ring on your finger and Sarah could have a cousin or two.” Her eyes shot open, did he just…? She pulled back, making her ass press against his thick cock, a gasp escaped from his mouth.
“Tommy, d-did you just…what?”
“I don’t say things I don’t mean Velora. You don’t want me to say three words fine. I know many a way to tell you the same damn thing woman.”
“Well you wanna try this morning?” Her suggestion made him kiss her neck, licking it as his fingers pumped inside of her slowly. “T-Tommy, give me your…”
“My what Sweet Pea? I’ll have to be careful where I call you Sweet Pea. I can’t have you gettin’ this wet at a cookout.” He smiled into her neck, before biting it. One of Vel’s hands grasped the back of his head, tugging it toward her neck.
“Fuck Tommy. Your cock. I want your cock. I’ll make a baby with you. Give it to me.” She yelped as his fingers started to move faster, her nectar dripping down his palm.
“Not yet, I have to show you who can find your pussy with these fingers.” His mouth left her neck and found her lips again, biting her lower lip as she moaned his name. He could watch her like this for the next hour, maybe hours. 
“Don’t be an ass about it Tommy.” Her hips were moving faster, her hands came back to his shoulders as she began moving up and down instead of in a circle.
“Look at you, quick study like always Sweet Pea. Be my angel and soak my fingers.” Tommy commanded, curing his head to nipple at the top of her breast. He felt her squeezing his fingers, then the flood of her slick down his wrist as he slowed down his fingers to match her body’s release and subsequent decrescendo. She sat panting on his lap, her eyes heavy as she met his dark brown orbs again. “Velora, you’re sure I can cum inside you? We still have a shit ton to talk about.” He saw her nod but needed her to speak to him so he didn’t move.
“Tommy, I’ve dreamt of you getting me pregnant and raising a family with you. We’ll work out the details later. It may not even happen this go around. We’ll have plenty of other times to practice. I love you Tommy Miller. I want to make a home with you and a family.” Velora kissed Tommy’s forehead and reached behind her ass, taking his hot member in her hand, teasing his head, “I too am not going to let anyone else have this cock if I have anything to say about it.”
Tommy wondered why he hadn’t seen it, how he could have been so blind, but that moment passed, “Did you have me not tell you I love you so you could say it first?” Vel chuckled as her small hand stroked his cock, “You’re my petty ass vixen angel and I love you. Take off that gown. We don’t fuck clothes in this house.” A beamng chuckle was shared between them as she removed her gown and tossed it on the floor and Tommy assisted her in lifting up to remove her panties, he then shimmied his boxers off and he sat her right back in his lap. “Ready Velora? I’ll ease you in slow.” 
Velora’s hand guided Tommy’s cock to her soaked folds, slipping inside of her easier than she thought, though she didn’t expect her hips to slam flush with his. She let out a loud whimper from the expansion inside of her, the pulsing heat, the grimace disappearing from his face once he was inside of her, she remained still to adjust and was unsure if she should move, it felt as if he was piercing her womb and stomach. It felt like they were finally in the right place and the right time with each other. But she wanted more, she would take from him until he had nothing left to offer her, He hadn’t said a word until she pulled on his shoulders and pressed her feet into the bed to move up, only making it where half of his cock was still inside of her. “Tommy, I don’t think I’m going to be able to do this too long, damn…did you get bigger while in Ireland?”
Tommy still didn’t answer, he was focusing on not shooting his load into her after she sat her full weight on him. Velora was able to take all of him in one stroke, a feat that hadn’t been performed by any other woman he had been with. Now with her moving, he was twitching even more and it felt as if the wrong move or loss of concentration would have him prematurely released. However, when she commented about his size, his eyes open to see the woman that he loved struggling to ride him, it was breathtakingly slow, the perfect pace to make him last longer. “Sweet Pea, I’m gonna be rough for a few, you’re doing the Lord’s work up there. Need to know how it feels to fill you to the brim with my seed Velora.” Bewildered, Vel’s mouth formed an ‘o’ as he began, taking ownership of her hips and forcing his upward into her, she truly started to spring off his member, leaving only his bulbous head inside of her before bringing her back down so his balls smacked her ass.
“Goddamit Tommy! I’m gonna break, Ah…Tom-Tommy..” Her voice cracked as she screamed, one hand dug into his shoulder, her nails drawing blood from his skin as her other hand cemented itself at the base of his skull. Her back was already arching, she was trying to stop her walls from sputtering, to draw this sensation out, him making her and her cunt cry for him. Miller’s grunts increased with his pace, his goal was to stuff her with his cum and he would succeed this morning. His mouth found her round shoulder, her light stretch marks broke though the rest of her brown skin, he started licking them, but felt his teeth start to dig into the soft flesh. “Ah..chew baby, Bite me Tommy..!” She continued to call his name, it was a ballad leading to their mutual end. Velora came first, her nails, raking across his back and head as her cunt attempted to milk his cock of its contents. Tommy was able to get in a few more pumps before he felt it, finally, thick ropes coated her walls as he moaned her name into her shoulder, tasting something metallic on his lips. They remained still, regaining air in their lungs, Tommy fell on his back with Vel on top of him, her breasts landing on either side of his head as her chest fell on his face.. He tilted his chin up and landed a string of kisses in between and on the tops of her breasts. She hummed as she stroked his hair, feeling him soften and start to slip out of her stretched pussy. Thankfully, only halfway.
“Velora, you alright honey? Didn’t break I see. You’re too strong of a woman for that.” His familiar glow returned to his face as she looked down at him and nodded. 
“I’m better than I thought I would be. You might be the death of me yet Tommy. I don’t know if I’ll ever get to just relax again.” Her bubbly sounds had Tommy trace his hands along her love handles and back. 
“If anything, I’ll go first. You started it this morning, remember?” He reminded her as she raised up off his flaccid cock and plopped beside him and he pulled the covers over the both of them. His hands returned to her waist as she nuzzled in the crook of his neck. “We’ll have to check our injuries later, let’s get some sleep. I love you Velora.”
“I love you too Tommy.” The two found sleep in each other's arms for the time being.
The next morning…
A series of loud knocks was at Velora’s front door.
Sarah had been adamant about seeing her uncle Tommy. Joel and Tess tried to assure her that he’s fine, he’s resting up from his long flight, which might be true though Joel doubted it. The fact remind that he did leave his bags at his place from when he drove Velora home last night. Sarah was worried that Tommy may not be happy with Aunt V going out on dates and he could have argued with her and might be moping around his house. It was plausible and Tess found it convenient to need to drive into town for a meeting or two, which she did not have to do before this conversation started.
“You shoulda never told a child about grown folks business.. Tess.”
“Sarah’s a teen, not an idiot. She knows things have been weird with them. Plus she overheard Vel and I talking, I didn’t tell her anything.”
“And now you have to go? After you start some shit?”
“They were meetings I thought were pushed back and now the parties want to meet. It’s annoying and horrible timing but -”
“Seems like good timing for you.”
“Joel, don’t start that shit again. You always do this get mad at me and then-”
“And then you leave and stay gone, not talking to me for weeks or months at a time. Would it kill you to be consistent Tess? Lord knows I am.”
Tess held up her hands, done with the conversation for now. She headed for the door. “Joel, I’ll be back later tonight. Take that time to calm down so we can talk like two adults.”
Joel crossed his arms and looked at the ceiling. He felt small arms wrap around him. “Dad, why don’t you just talk to her instead of picking a fight?” The older Miller brother kissed his daughter’s forehead and smiled. 
“Your old man’s stubborn as a mule baby girl. I gotta be right, even if it kills me.”
“We’re going to take uncle Tommy’s stuff by his house right? I want to show him my new trophy. I fell asleep before I could show him last night. Joel couldn’t say no even though he was fairly certain his brother wouldn’t be home. Gathering Tommy’s junk, he threw it in his truck and drove over to the house. His brother’s truck was absent from the driveway so since he had a key he dropped off the bags inside. Sarah still insisted on seeing him so he drove to Velora’s where now he was knocking on the door. 
When there was no answer, he turned to his daughter who shocked him once again,
“You think they’re going to be friends with benefits or actually date? But they know each other pretty well so maybe not for long. I’m going to be a bridesmaid or the maid of honor.”
“Sarah honey, that’s putting the cart before the horse baby girl.”
“Dad. I’m fourteen. I know these things.”
“Where did my sweet girl go? I don’t want you to know these things.”
Tommy climbed out of bed first, he heard chatter outside the door so he figured he had some time. He relieved himself in the bathroom and grabbed a warm rag for Vel, cleaning between her legs. He couldn’t help but use two fingers to push some of his cum that had leaked out back in, that made her flinch and wake up. “Good morning Sweet Pea, better late than never. Fell asleep before I could clean ya. Someone’s at the door. Goin’ to tell them to kick rocks.” She nodded and rolled over toward the nightstand to check the time, two in the afternoon? It was pretty late.
Tommy popped his jeans on and didn’t worry about boxers. The cold floor felt good under his bare feet as he walked to the door, now on the other side, he heard two voices that he didn’t want to see right this minute. “Welp, it was going to happen sooner or later.” He unlocked the door and swing it open, 
“Afternoon brother, little Peanut.” Joel noted Tommy’s messy hair that was sticking all over the place and that he seemed to have some bruises on his abdomen. Dammit, really? My daughter has to see you like this…
“Hey little brother. We took your crap to your house. You good? Your hair is a little…” Joel studdered, first Tess and now Tommy, why were the adults he knew so damn bothersome and exposing his sweet daughter to things she shouldn’t know until she’s his age, scratch that, he needs to be cold in the ground before Sarah even thinks about, such things.
“Uncle Tommy, is Aunt V alright? If you look like that, what does she look like? Did you put a hurt on her?” The youngest Miller asked with a head tilt. Both men remained silent. Joel was the one now with his arms crossed and rocking between his heels and the balls of his feet. 
“She’s taking a bit of a nap right now, Peanut. I can stop by the house later-” 
“I'm alright, You should maybe go get freshened up though Tommy.” Velora walked up behind Tommy in a loose gray t-shirt and black leggings and tugged on the waist of his jeans to signal he should head back inside. Vel stood in the doorway and gave a stern look to Sarah before bursting into laughter. “You’re a firecracker young lady. You’re going to give both your father and uncle heart attacks. Please let your father hold onto his dream that you’re still his baby girl.”
Sarah stepped forward and gave her aunt a hug, patting her back and niggling into her. She whispered, “Aunt V, you look a lot happier. Both Dad and Uncle Tommy can be kinda dumb so don’t be too mad at him.” Vel chuckled and patted the teen’s head,
“I won’t. I promise. All adults are dumb at times, Peanut. It’s our claim to fame. I love you, you little scamp.” She kissed her forehead and let her go, Joel nodded and he headed back to the truck and left with Sarah. Asking her questions about what she knew about ‘putting a hurt on someone’ and where she had heard it. He didn’t really want to know, he just needed to identify whose knees he needed to break for telling his daughter this information.
Tommy was in the shower, using Velora’s green tea and jasmine body wash. It smelled nice on her, he wasn’t much for smelling like a flower, but he did need to be clean. He was lathering his chest when his Sweet Pea entered the shower naked and put her hand over his, helping him to lather himself. He chuckled at her eagerness to touch him, he was planning on initiating later but he wasn’t opposed to having a bit of slippery fun. He reached beyond the shower curtain and grabbed a second washcloth, the basket they had been neatly folded in fell over, but that could be tidied later. Tommy was quick to wet it and turned around, nearly falling back against the shower wall at Vel’s hair in her hot pink shower cap. Her lips pinched together as she pushed slightly on his chest to signal she was not amused. 
“Sweet Pea, you can’t tell me that’s not funny though. It had to be that neon, bright ass pink?” He cackled in between her soft hits with the soapy washcloth.
“Dammit Tommy, you know I can’t get my hair wet unless I plan to wash it and do that whole process. Stop laughing..ha, ha.” The woman started giggling along with him, the pair of them laughing until they wheezed. 
Tommy took his washcloth and ran it over Velora’s shoulders and took special care under her arms. He rung the washcloth out over her breasts and added more of the body wash to make the lather thicker before circling around each breast, carefully lifting them from their lowered position. Velora continued to drag her washcloth across his chest, then around to his back until she lowered it just before reaching his butt. She then brought it back to the front and wiped up and down on his abdomen eliciting a few more chuckles from the mustached man. Tommy started in the middle of her stomach and branched out with larger strokes before starting on her back. He then paused,
“So how do you want to take care of below the waist?” 
“I think we should each do our own, I don’t trust you not to start fingering me and I don’t want soap in my pussy.” 
“You know me so well Sweet Pea.” He answered with a smirk and made sure to clean his cock and balls well and ended with his ass as Vel did the same. They rinsed off and Vel stepped out of the shower first to set a few towels on the floor to soak up the water she was dripping and to grab two towels, one for each of them. After drying off, Vel put on the same t-shirt and black capris she had on before, they had been fresh out of the drawer so she didn’t mind putting the back on. Tommy slipped on a pair of gray sweatpants and a white t-shirt from his drawer in Velora’s bedroom. Tommy headed to the kitchen to start some coffee and make some brunch. He found eggs, onions, peppers, cheese and toasted some bread with some apple butter. Velora was finishing up the bathroom when she smelled his cooking, her mother told her not to trust a man who can cook when she was younger, but Vel found it to be one of the many sexy qualities Tommy had, among others that she could put her hands on now.
She walked out to her small kitchen and got some plates and glasses down to get the table. It could fit four people comfortably though it was on the smaller side, with just the two of them, it was just the right size. Tommy dished up the food, he made three pieces of toast for each of them, after he set the frying pan in the sink and ran some water in it, they sat down to eat, in silence for the first few bites. 
“So…should we talk about things or…?”
“I mean we can. I guess we should start with whose house we’re gonna live in. Yours is on the smaller side Vel. makes sense since it’s just you living here, but…”
“No I mean, about before. We moved things pretty fast and you never told me about how your trip went with, well what you were going to do, though we weren’t really speaking at the time.” Velora moved a piece of her omelet around on her plate as she bit into her toast.
Sitting back in his chair, Tommy crossed his arms and sighed, “Do we really need to talk about it? I went, took care of my guys’ ashes and came back. Yeah I was gone longer, but I needed time to think. I couldn’t do that…”
“While you were here. While you may have to face me, is that it?” She asked, looking up from her plate. He rolled his eyes and scoffed.
“What about you? While I was gone, you’re out here setting up dates left and right. I know that was your one friend who doesn't think I’m shit who told you to do that and you did it! I had to hear it from Joel of all people. That was weird as shit.” he shook his head, recalling the conversation, it had been unnerving. 
Velora took a deep breath, “I told you about it when you came back and we finally talked before and we…I was honest about it. I didn’t need to hide, I came to fucking Joel’s house with all that damn pizza and listening to tess talking about meetings and travel! I didn’t want to go, seeing you…it, I was happy to know that you were okay, but I felt guilty and hurt Tommy.” Her eyes never parted from his, the intensity of them caused him to look away, but the veteran was drawn right back.
“I know. I was in shock when Sarah mentioned on the drive home that you were going to be there. I honestly didn’t think you would want to see me, given how I reacted when you said what you said after we made love. You can say it, you know Velora. We’ve made love twice now.” Tommy grinned, trying to lighten things up a bit, but to no avail.
“I know I told you that I needed time.” Velora paused to try and figure out her phrasing. Tommy titled his head, trying to anticipate what she may say, he hoped it wasn’t that they should see how things go. He was serious about moving their relationship forward. “I’d rather we talked about things and made some future plans. We skipped ahead on the babymaking front. I didn’t think I’d…well I knew I wanted to but…” Her cheeks were becoming hot once again, having a child with her best friend and crush Tommy Miller had been a fantasy. Now she may have actually done it without dating, marriage, deciding where they’re going to live, none of that. It made her giddy that he wanted to see her pregnant and have a child with her, but what would come with it? Was she prepared for that?
“Velora, well I won’t say relax because we’re needing to make some major decisions.” Tommy rose from his chair and stood behind Vel, placing one hand on each shoulder and kissed her temple. She took a few sips of water for her throat that was painfully dry now.  “One step at a time honey. It’s alright we don’t know right now. We just started this together. Plus we gotta move you into my house, this kitchen’s too damn small and I got room in my master bath to expand the shower.” Vel coughed on the water, setting an elbow on the table before cradling her forehead in it. 
“Lord above you really are trying to kill me Miller.” Their expressions of joy echoed through the small kitchen as they continued their meal and bikered about whose house should be sold, which mattress should be in the master bedroom and who has the better office.
Six months later…
Velora plops another rose near the mailbox. She already had brought three over from the back of Tommy’s truck. She had borrowed it to drive to the florist to pick up her order that she had placed last week. Set on adding more color to the front yard, she had added yellow tulips near the large front window that was off of the living room. Red was what she wanted on the corner around the mailbox. She took to gardening well, finding it was calming in addition to decorating her new home. She and Tommy had closed on her small home last month and were able to make a sizable profit from it. Due to the time constraints though, she sold much of her furniture except what was left to stage the house. Tommy, Joel and Sarah had helped moved her items into Tommy’s larger house. Velora had fussed about it, but she knew it was the right choice, moving into his house. It was her first house though, she remembered when Tommy had helped her move in.
Standing up from her leaning over position, she felt light-headed and had to lean on the mailbox, thankfully it was sturdy and she was quickly able to regain her balance. Her head swam for a minute but then calmed. It was happening more frequently and it worried her. Tommy had asked her to cut back on her hours at work, go to part time at the hospital. She was stubborn and refused, stating that it happened from time to time, she was fine, it would pass. It’s been two months of symptoms off and on again. What really worried her was her tender breasts and back pain. They didn’t seem connected and both had been happening since she hit puberty decades ago. She didn’t mention it to Tommy though, didn't want to worry him. Heading back inside the house, she called and made a doctor’s appointment, relenting that she may need to have things checked out, though whenever she had scans before they were always benign and she was advised to lose weight. “They’ll just tell me the same damn thing.”
Tommy was thriving, sure he had way too many pillows on his couch now, but he was able to convince Sweet Pea to keep some on the bed and in the guest bedrooms, at least break them up some. The little touches as far as plants, new colors of green, reds and yellows, nothing overbearing but more accents to his neutral home. In the pillows, but also in the towels, rugs, blankets for when they would watch movies on said couch and even a few shirts in his closet. He only wore those colors for her, no one else though. Tommy brought up the topic of marriage first saying that before a baby came, he wanted to have a ring on her finger and a certificate in his hand. Velora shook her head at him as usual and asked him how he planned to do that. She was washing dishes, wearing just one of her oversized t-shirts and panties. 
“Well, like this Sweet Pea. You thought you were gonna be stuck with me before. Now we’re going to make it official.”
“Miller, we moved in together three months ago, don’t you think it’s a little soon to-” His arms wrapped around her waist as he kissed her cheek.
“No it’s not. I told you we’d do one step at a time. This is the next step. We can make it big or small. Besides, I got this ring on sale.” He chuckled in her ear and reached in his back pocket, pulling out a small box. Vel dried her hands and turned around.
“Tommy I’m not taking some mood ring you got on…that’s a box. An actual box.”
“Yes. Wait, you thought I was gonna fake you out with a mood ring? What kind of man do you take me for?” Tommy exaggerated his fake outrage, crossing his hand over his chest and stumbling back. “You wound me…Vel how could you?” 
Velora shook head again, her face in her hands, not believing what she was seeing. The punk did get her a ring. She hadn’t asked for one, she honestly thought it would be next year before she got one, they hadn’t even made wedding plans yet. “You keep surprising me every day Tommy. I find you as annoying as much as I adore you.”
“I’ll take that as a yes honey. Put this on so I can see it on the pretty hand of yours.” He removed the gold ring from the box and slid it on her finger. He held her hand as he moved it around, it appeared to be a little loose. “I was sure I got the size right. Vel, did you lose some weight?” His eyes squinted at her hand, they didn’t look much different so he released her hand and grabbed her hips making her gasp.
“Tommy! I haven’t lost any weight. We just have to get it re-sized. I’m still going to wear it anyway until we do. It’s beautiful.” She admired it, a 6 mm band with 1 carat diamond in an oval setting. “Wait, how much was this?”
Tommy ignored the question, his hands were roaming her hips and love handles, she felt a little less, though she didn’t look it. He would know, the man felt her up daily, several times a day. “Sweet Pea, when’s your appointment? I’m going to come with you.” Vel kissed his cheek before placing her left hand on it.
“You don’t need to, I’m fine. They’re just going to tell me I need to rest or drink more water or lose weight like they always do. It’s why I usually just go for my physical yearly and not much else.” She explained. Tommy knew not to press her too hard on it, they were both stubborn so he would just worry instead. A distraction was in order they had gotten a new dining room table, Vel had called his old table “musty” for the mismatched driftwood it had been made of. The dark cherrywood suited the otherwise light room perfectly, drawing your attention to it. 
Tommy used his hands on his fiancé’s hips to guide her back toward the table, he reached and lifted her ass onto the table. “What’s gotten into you now? Don’t be picking me up like that. You’ll end up with a back like your brother.” He tugged on her panties pulling them down to her knees and then off. Squating, he used his forearms to part her thighs before nibbling her sensitive skin. 
“If I get a bad back from lifting you Sweet Pea, I’m gonna make sure it’s well earned. Let me taste my fiance. I wonder if now you’ll be more savory or honeyed.” He felt her put her legs over his shoulders and place her calves against his back, by now, she was aware of the position he wanted her in for his meals.
“How does that make any sense? Shit…don’t just use one love. I always need more.” Her hips bucked at the insertion of his finger, he was teasing her, leaning toward her mound and inhaling deeply, filling his lungs with her scent, intoxicating as he found it.
“My greedy girl. I aim to please ya always.” A second digit followed, pumping into her down to the knuckle, usually he worked his fingers in slower but her juices were dribbling onto the wood table, making it glisten. “May have to use your nectar to polish the table later, Sweet Pea.” Tommy ran his other hand up her shirt, pulling it to reach her cushy belly. He placed a kiss on it before placing his hand on the small of her back and scooting her hips forward to start to curl his fingers inside of her, a small spongy depression he discovered inside her months ago that had her babble in between obscenities. Peering upward, his head was hung forward toward her chest, hands firmly on the table, arms taunt, forcing her pelvis to meet his hand. “Almost there Vel, a little more…” His thumb plucked the small bundle of red flesh hidden at the top of her slit. A feral growl left his love as his fingers were taken from her, thighs pulled his upper body forward. 
“Tommy…Either put your fingers back in or use your mouth. You will not leave me like this on our dining room table. Didn’t you just say you ‘aim to please’?” His snickers echoes against her drenched mound, his breath, rolling over her sweltering skin.
“I do, but you know I like my pleasantries. I’m a Southern gentleman.” Velora couldn’t see his face, but she could picture his lips curving upward, forever teasing her. She guessed she knew what it was about, she was able to keep her balance with one hand as the other twirled in his soft onyx waves.
“A gentleman now huh? Who leaves a lady wanting? Not sure I want a gentleman then. I want the same man who told me he was starving and I had to make sure he had a warm meal.” Her voice raspy from her screams, cracking when she spoke. Tommy flicked his tongue on her clit, then blew on it.
“Not my exact words, but I’d hate to make such a beautiful woman wait.” He felt Vel release his hair as he plunged into her moist cunt, lapping at entrance, grunting with the roll of her hips toward his face. His mustache tickled her clit each time he pulled back to take a small gasp of air. Her body went rigid as her peak was reached and Tommy shot up to wrap his arms around her waist easing her down on the table. “Easy Sweet Pea, easy Velora…” He kissed her chin, her hands reached for his face and licked his lips, 
“I think I’m more savory than Sweet love. May need to change my nickname.” The veteran’s head dropped into her chest, matching her laughter. He now knew how sturdy the new table was. It could stay.
One week later…
Joel pulled up to the florist’s shop. He needed to send flowers for the condolences of one of their frequent customers who would use them for construction contracts. The man’s mother had died and the elder Miller brother in his effort to be more sociable, was following more social cues. He also was doing what his daughter had suggested and ‘ghosting’ Tess. He didn’t feel great about it, but Sarah had advised to ignore her calls and texts since they couldn’t agree to which direction their relationship should go. Joel wanted a partner, someone who he would be comfortable having in his life with his daughter. Tess got along with Sarah just fine, because they didn’t spend much time together outside of a few weeks or a month. His sometimes partner was just fine with that arrangement, thus their disagreement. The man was currently distracted though so he wouldn’t be answering any calls, he was placing his order with the same florist who V had been getting her flowers from. On the glowing recommendation, he ventured into the shop and was met with a woman who had a silver streak in her otherwise strawberry blonde hair. She gave him a warm smile, wiped her hands off on her apron before reaching out for a handshake, it was firm and she had callaouses as well from the different plants she had worked with, a small pink mark was on her neck. Joel wondered what it was from, he did eventually place his order, but they ended up comparing handshakes, whose accent was stronger, discussing children, trucks and work boots. A warmth that Joel hadn’t felt since his wife passed spread in his chest, her name Andy, she had told him like the sheriff from ‘The Andy Griffith Show.” The two laughed over the reference and that their children had no idea who the man was. 
Velora sat next to Tommy on the plane. He had asked her to set aside three particular weeks in September. Vel agreed as long as he didn’t have a flash mob or a minister to marry them at an airport. He defended himself by telling her she may be the one to take them to a drive through wedding chapel if she can find one, just to save some time and money. Her head found Tommy’s shoulder, nuzzling into the crook of his neck. She felt safe and terrified. She hadn’t had a chance to speak with him before leaving the country, well maybe she did, but she got cold feet, she was also nervous. It was happy news, but more than anything, she didn’t want to stop working. She knew Tommy would insist on her not working or at the very least, going on light duty, a compromise. Not a bad one if she was being honest. The flight was nearly thirteen hours, Tommy had done this by himself? There were points when they did move around and chat about what their actual wedding plans would be. Something small at the courthouse with immediate family and a reception at their house in the backyard, unsure of where they were going for their honeymoon, it was decided they could figure that one out later. Holding Tommy’s hand as the plane finally started its descent, Velora resolved to tell him one way or another. 
The emerald grass crunched under their boots as they walked gingerly in the forest behind the cabin they were staying in. It was cozy and Tommy smiled to himself that Vel was indeed holding onto his arm for any warmth she could gather. He surprised her with the destination of Ireland, but he wanted to show her it’s beauty that he had seen on a much more somber trip. His fiance had been the first person he thought to bring here besides his brother and niece. They were on their way back from the same rocky outcrop that he spread the ashes over some months ago. Velora held his hand as he teared at the memory, glad that she was here with him this time and for every journey the pair would take after. Velora stopped and Tommy did as well, wondering why she had stopped walking.
“We’re almost there Sweet Pea. We can warm up and drink hot chocolate. Might even go out and try some brennivin. One glass though, it will knock you on your ass, almost got me.” He was trying to lighten the mood after this visit to the site. Vel shook her head and it made him confused, she looked nervous.
“I-I have something to tell you. Honestly, I had to think about it and wrap my head around it, because normally it's never anything.” A strong gust blew through the trees whipping the leaves loudly to where the puzzled man saw her mouth move but didn’t hear. He made out, ‘we’re…’ What? All of her body language changed, like she was about to burst, whatever it was it was happy, so was it what he thought?
“Say again Vel, I can’t hear you.” He pointed to his ears but she lunged toward him and cupped his face, giving his lips a peck. The wind had started to calm but was tossing her ponytail in every direction. “Tell me what earned me that.” He grinned.
“We’re pregnant! You’re going to be a father Tommy!” Snot was starting to run down her nose and her eyes were squinted due to the air currents, a mess, but to Tommy it was the face of the mother of his child. The only face he needed to see until the baby was born. His outcry of joy was matched by the enthusiasm in which he picked up Velora and spun her around. She screamed for him to put her down, her laughter spurring him on, eventually he did and tugged her along to their cabin where they lit the fireplace. 
Tommy insisted that they shower and she spread out on the bed so he can put his head to her belly. She assured her fiance that it was too early for that but no was not an option. As her nails lightly scratched his scalp, Tommy rubbed his head on his other half’s stomach, knowing that a new life was growing inside of her.
“Thank you Velora. You’ve given me so much over the years. Now you’re giving me a little Miller and a future too. I love you Sweet Pea.” Closing his eyes, he listened to Velora breathe, her hand was still in his hair but she had fallen asleep. With a light huff, his fingers ran up her arm and traced her jaw, ending on her soft lips. “I’ll tell you again when you wake up, Velora. Rest up honey, we’ve a long road ahead together.”
Moots who might like it: @maggiemayhemnj @laurfilijames @rhoorl @fhatbhabie @angelofsmalldeath-codeine @trulybetty @goodwithcheese @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @yorksgirl @guelyury @perotovar @saturn-rings-writes @megamindsecretlair @morallyinept @legendary-pink-dot @undercoverpena @beabliss @grogusmum @sp00kymulderr @magpiepillsjunior @for-a-longlongtime @pamasaur @linzels-blog @mysterious-moonstruck-musings
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osiiiris · 1 year ago
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The thing that should not be [Terzomega One Shot]
I finally made it with a Terzo/Ghoul. What’s your opinion on POV fics? I used to write a lot of it in my past fandoms but here I see rarely this kind of fics. Thank you @van-goghs-smoking-skull for your help 🌹
Genre: slash, explicit, oral sex, sex, Terzo POV, young Terzo, sub Terzo, dom Omega, first time with Omega/a Ghoul.
Pairing: Terzo x Ghoul (Omega)
Rating: Nc17 (explicit but not properly smut)
Words: 2.943
Summary: Terzo is the 20 year old last heir of Papa Nihil and he’s definitely not having fun at his father’s birthday party. Luckily, a big Ghoul is around to save the night…
>>> Wattpad | AO3 | or down here 👇🏻
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The first time we met, the big Ghoul and I, was in the hallways of the Ministry, shortly after the new summoning, but there was nothing more than a few distracted glances. I had seen him walking along with the other Ghouls, standing out for his size; their black robes covered every inch of their bodies, including their faces, making them look like nothing more than disturbing moving shadows.
The last time was a few days ago, and besides the looks, there was also the insolence of a mouth that was too big and too dirty to keep a few of their thoughts to themselves. 
It had been a coincidence that I happened to be passing by just in time to hear my name, followed by a somewhat ungentlemanly "I'm surprised none of us has fucked him yet."
The reply was even less gentle, “Just give me some time and my cock will end up deep in that throat.”
It must have been a group of Ghouls, judging by the voices, but from the cloister colonnade, I couldn't see them. A few more steps, and they were all there, gathered, chatting among themselves, some smoking with the cigarette passing under their masks. It was hard to tell who had spoken, but one of them, the tallest and most recognizable of the group, had stared at me a bit too interested while still laughing at what was said, even though it was impossible to imagine his expression under the mask.
I had noted that tone, knowing it would come in handy sooner or later.
Birthday parties are all dramatically the same and all equally boring, especially when it's your father's birthday. Or at least, I'm just in a phase of chronic dissatisfaction, as Copia would say.
Suddenly, a nearby, deep and familiar voice draws me to a small sofa that I only see from the back.
"...and so you're going on tour."
There is a girl with him, but I can't understand what they're talking about. I only catch a few phrases about music, and as I drink, I move a little closer. Just out of curiosity.
"Yes, in a few weeks." I hear him say, almost disinterested. 
"And is there a chance you'll take me in your suitcase?"
"I'm sorry, but I don't think you'd fit."
I almost want to laugh and clench the straw between my lips. I'd like to see the girl's face, but I only see her leave, probably after trying to hide her disappointment with all the self-control that a rejected woman can muster.
"You really know how to disappoint a woman." I say out of honesty, because I would have expected anything from him except for him to turn down someone like her.
He shrugs, not even surprised to see me there.
"If I listened to all those who flirt with me, I'd probably have little monsters scattered all over the world, which has probably already happened."
I raise an eyebrow, feeling my head a bit heavy for the few drinks I had. For now, it's still a nice feeling, but I've never been able to stop in time to leave it that way. Somehow, it's as if I need to create a balance just for the sake of destroying it with my own hands.
"I understand."
"Do you?"
I shrug, while I feel him watching my lips tighten around the straw.
I hear Sister Imperator calling me, and we both turn to her. "I think I have to go."
"You'll stay here, later?" That isn't really a question. It's an invitation, if not an order, and I quickly decide that I really like his orders tonight. "I'll make up for that incident in the cloister."
"See you later, then." I tell him as I boldly clench the straw of a now-empty cocktail between my teeth and move toward who I have always called mother.
After a night spent watching the others participate in the party, drinking and staring at the tips of my shoes as if in a catechism lesson, even the prospect of starting a conversation with Primo about his passion for succulents would seem interesting to me. Fortunately, my first brother doesn't have enough time to waste on me, so Copia approaches me, a cigarette between his lips and the rest of the pack still in his hand.
"Want something to drink?" he yells in my ear, as if the loud music gives him the right to think I've gone deaf.
"Do I look like someone who needs a drink?"
He nods convincingly. "Absolutely!"
"Then I'll go get it myself, at least it'll get me moving a bit. It's a real pain in the ass here."
"I haven’t seen you having fun lately!" He rolls his eyes before muttering something to himself, probably about what a creepy presence I am in his life. I hope that with alcohol around there's some action at least.
There isn't, or at least I don't get to know about it, as someone far more interesting than a drink blocks my way.
"Are you having fun?" 
The first time we saw each other, I must have had a really strange expression. It must have been at least five years ago and it was the first time I ever saw a real demon so close, but he hasn't changed at all, and I'm almost curious to know how he sees me now. Not that I expect him to understand concepts like age and physical change.
"Yes, yes."
"Shall we find a quieter spot, what do you think?"
I don't have the clarity to say no, and with a bit of luck, maybe I won't even remember it later.
I've seen him drink continuously during the party, but he seems as clear-headed as if what he's been drinking was fresh water. Either he holds his liquor well, or he knows how to mask it. Or maybe he's not a twenty-year-old jerk who collapses like an idiot after the third glass and makes a spectacle of his worst self.
I nod with a head that's a bit too heavy, then gesture for him to lead the way, only to stop him soon after.
"Wait a moment." I tell him, and I move away, looking for Copia.
When I find him, I only whisper, "Don't look for me… I'll be back in a while." making sure no one else overhears. He looks at me as if to say 'don't mess things up' - the way I have noticed everybody has started to look at me lately, as if they were ready to bet on me causing new trouble every step I take - and then reluctantly nods. I bite my lip, and the Ghoul takes his time to scrutinize me from head to toe as I approach him again.
When I don't want to feel utterly miserable, I seek refuge in Copia's reassurance. I revert to feeling at least ten years younger, shedding the darkness that has accumulated in recent years, especially when the hassle of being the last Papa's heir began to manifest. You need to start building your reputation very early, and I'm not exactly inclined to miss the fun of my youth for something that will likely happen in twenty or thirty years from now.
In all probability, later tonight or tomorrow I'll rest my head on Copia's shoulder, having him telling me that I'm a dickhead but that's ok, that the way to equanimity is a long and hard one, and I'll believe him.
The Ghoul raises a champagne bottle toward me, then hands me a glass as we sit on the secluded couches.
"To make it up to you." he explains, filling my glass like a seasoned gentleman. There's nothing to make up for, I'd tell him if I had the necessary courage, if you want, I can blow you right here.
We spend some time with a few words and many glasses that empty too easily, my stomach flaring up unsure if for the alcohol or who knows what else.
As I drink, I dare to throw a few interested glances at him, running my eyes up and down his frame, catching any relevant detail, even if it's hard to find them in a figure so covered up like his. The rings on his fingers, the shape of his shoulders, how he tilts his head when laughing… Anything can help me understand why him. And he does the same.
He talks about what he does, the music he likes to play, and worlds I've never seen.
Maybe I'll take you there. It always seems like he's about to say. Maybe we'll just stay there. Or maybe it's just me who wants to hear it from him.
I listen to him, barely hearing his deep voice, muffled by the mask he wears, and the party becomes just a confused cloud of lights and distant voices.
The mask is a testament to his past, his condition as a demon bent to the laws of a world not his own. Esoteric symbols stand out on his uniform; I focus on one of them, Omega. I decide on the spot to call him that from now on, aware that in the absence of an identity, everyone must have given him a different name.
How important it is for us humans to name everything. Perhaps that's our problem.
Omega, a guest who can't stay in his place and also the only one who manages to distract me.
We find ourselves drinking straight from the bottle, and I understand less than half of the things he tells me, but it seems to be okay with him. However, I can feel his hands lightly touching me while talking, so discreet that it surprises me. His are distracted caresses barely hinted at, words that say without saying, and I, who speak that language, immediately think of making it clear to him.
"Let's go to the bathroom?"
And I don't know if it's me or him who says it, but the fact is I get up, and he follows me.
Once inside, I let out a deep sigh that actually has nothing of the malice it seems. My ears already relax due to the newfound silence.
"I have to say you saved me from a boring night."
"You too."
I look at him through the mirror, and he does the same, at a comfortable distance from me.
"Really? Wasn't there anything more valuable than my company?"
He shrugs, then approaches, casting a glance at the door.
"It depends on how the evening might end..." he says with a very calm tone, getting closer until he's right behind me, but he doesn't touch me.
I almost want to laugh, but I let it stay just a little smile and I leave him there to enter one of the cabins and wait.
It doesn't take long before he follows me. He tries to enter, but he holds himself against the doorframe and dares to stretch only his head.
"Is there room for me too?"
I look away, tilting my head and shrugging, leaving it up to him to find out. And he does.
Perhaps my Ghoul doesn't like to give empty words, so he strokes my neck in a way I already know, and there's no need to even apply pressure for me to slowly slide down the wall to end up on my knees in front of him, putting into practice what he has fantasized about with his friends.
Too bad that this time there are no witnesses to prove how true to his word he is.
When he takes it out, I reluctantly admit that what they say about the Ghouls is indeed true. Me, a mere human, must accept and accommodate Mother Nature's wishes.
While I admire him, an involuntary "damn" escapes me, to which he responds with an avoidable "seems so.", but I decide to smile anyway. And then I begin.
I partly watch him and partly keep my eyes closed, relishing the weary satisfaction that comes from having the power to grip a man - human or not, as they apparently work the same - just by slipping into his underwear.
At some point, he stops me, and I understand that he wants to get serious; I stand up, and he immediately seizes my hips with those huge, hot hands. I've always thought of myself as not being a good catch for a woman, let alone a man, from this perspective... I have slender hands and long fingers, which I happen to know many appreciate, but they are minuscule in comparison to his; he probably doesn't even feel my touch.
From the way he's gripping me, it really seems like my entire body can fit completely between his hands.
He turns me around with expertise, and I let him.
I have too many thoughts in my head to properly think about how to move for him. Thoughts that I really shouldn't have in a situation like this, but I also know that this thing won't empty me at all; rather, it will fill my head even more than it already is.
As I gasp against the icy wall, I feel his face in my hair and his breath on my neck, escaping the mask he still has on.
"I like it like this."
Me too, sometimes.
I want to think about what a better person I could be, but instead, I let myself get screwed in a restroom by a Ghoul without saying a word, looking at the white tiles faintly mirroring my panting face while I moan and bite on the sleeve of my habit that still covers me, but not enough to grant me a decency I never really had. He has already said enough about me, and I remained silent even then. Maybe I deserved it. Sure I do.
When he thrusts, I feel it perfectly, almost too much. I feel it so much that I open my eyes wide and gasp, scratch the wall, and stiffen in a way that must amuse him. He grins in my hair and doesn't stop. Thank you.
At this point, I don't even know if this is actually his way to make amends, or if he has forgotten it along with the tenth glass he downed and changed his plans in the meantime.
In the following minutes, there are no words, and I'm grateful for that. I don't understand where one can find the strength to talk in a moment like this, when all you feel is your skin burning with flames that are only yours, and every breath seems like it's never enough.
Then it's just a warm breath on the skin, and what seems like a caress on my hips that now belong to him. At least for a while. Then I can't help but bend over in a way he doesn't seem to appreciate, or maybe he only takes it as a chance to pull my hair and tilt my head back, almost resting it on his shoulder, before pressing my chest back against the wall.
That's how I come, with one hand around my throat and the other resting on my hip, feeling my legs tremble and losing their strength as his thrusts get faster and stronger; I slide my tongue on my lip, hungrily savoring what's left of his flavor and all I can think of is how proud Asmodeus must be of me, while I ignore all the Clergy’s advice by letting those last drops of pleasure shake me and the voice dies in my throat in that last groan, while everything seems to turn white for a couple of seconds.
He holds me, saying nothing, with his huge hand holding himself on the wall, near my head, and the other firmly on my chest, pressing my back against him, and I can't say if that's a caring gesture or he just doesn't want me to fall on his feet.
I take my pack of Marlboros from my pants, which I've just put on, covered by my cassock, with hands still trembling a bit.
"Wanna smoke?" I ask, offering him one while I already have one between my lips.
"Nah." he mutters, as he gets dressed as well, as far as pulling up the zipper of his pants can mean "getting dressed."
I lean against the wall while he takes his time to straighten every fold in his Ghoul uniform, and I have strange thoughts.
"I was thinking about where we shouldn't be."
"Oh, yeah?" he asks, not at all impressed.
"What we shouldn't have done..."
Encounters between humans and hellish creatures are not forbidden, but highly discouraged. Nobody can say what the true intentions of an entity born and raised in Hell may be, and it's always dangerous to form that kind of bond with subordinates, especially ones who don't feel feelings in the same way as humans. It is something to play with carefully.
"I only think about what we shouldn't be and we'll never be, so don't get ahead of yourself."
I shrug, also unimpressed. The cigarette is still unlit, and I don't think I'll smoke it.
"So disappointing is really your specialty." I joke, approaching him in this bathroom that now seems too big. I offer it to him, and he looks at it a bit strangely. "But keep this one." I tell him, and I like to think he's smiling under the mask. The fact is that he accepts it.
You keep it, so next time, I'll come back to get it. 
And we'll smoke it together.
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captainsophiestark · 10 months ago
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The Best-Laid Plans
Platonic!Annabeth Chase x Reader
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Masterlist - Join My Taglist!
Written for my personal fic writing challenge for 2024, Sophie's Year of Fic! Featuring a new fic being posted every Friday, all year long :)
Fandom: Percy Jackson
Summary: Annabeth's best friend and older sibling figure since she ran away at seven helps her execute the perfect birthday surprise for Percy in their first year at college.
Word Count: 1,306
Category: Fluff, Humor
A/N: To those new to the fandom from the tv show, weclome! This fic has hella spoilers for future books, so be warned
Putting work into an AI program without permission is illegal. You do not have my permission. Do not do it.
"I just want to do something special for him. It's his first birthday away from home, and I can tell it's bothering him."
I hummed, twirling my dagger and staring at the ceiling while kicked back on my couch. Such was the life of a demigod, that we fiddled with weapons like fidget toys.
"And there's no way you guys can go back?" I finally asked. Annabeth, my little sister in every way but blood, shook her head.
"We've got orientation for the next week and a half, including his birthday. It's the only reason we're here so early in the first place. We can't miss it."
I frowned. Annabeth and her boyfriend, Percy Jackson, had just started college at New Rome University. They'd gotten to the Bay Area yesterday, which I'd been incredibly excited about. Annabeth and I had been attached at the hip since I was eleven and she was seven, when we'd met as runaway demigods. Out of our little group, Annabeth and I had stayed the closest. After the Titan War, I'd decided to go USF, the muggle university in San Francisco. Leaving her had been the hardest part.
Now, luckily for me, she and Percy had moved out here too. Annabeth had finished unpacking and setting up her dorm room within a few hours of arrival, and so had some free time this morning to spend hanging out with me. Percy had not, so he was otherwise occupied on their last day before school activities started.
"Well, I'm happy to help with whatever you want to do, Annabeth," I said. She sighed, chewing at her lip and staring out the window of my apartment as she thought. "Maybe you could show him around the Bay Area? He probably hasn't spent much time out here, has he?"
"I really haven't either," she said. "I've barely been back since I was a kid."
"True..."
"Maybe we could go on a tour of New Rome? Percy told me he wanted to show me around, but I don't want to make him be the tour guide for his birthday."
"Yeah."
The two of us fell silent for a moment, thinking things through. Then, like a blast of lightning from Thalia, an idea hit me.
"What if you baked him some cookies or something? He's probably already missing his mom's baking."
Annabeth shot up straight in her seat, staring at me with wide eyes.
"That is the perfect idea. Can I make them here?"
"Of course! I'm not going to make you use the shared freshman kitchens."
Annabeth grinned, then stood and headed to the kitchen table. I watched her go with interest as she pulled out a notebook and pen and started scribbling away.
"Uh... Annabeth?"
"Making a plan. Don't worry about it."
I grinned to myself. My little sister was nothing if not predictable.
A few days later, Annabeth managed to sneak away from Percy and orientation to come back to my place for a baking party. Percy's birthday was tomorrow, so we only had tonight to get everything ready.
"I came up with the perfect plan," she said in lieu of greeting as she pushed past me and into the apartment. I smiled after her, joining her in the kitchen as she plopped down a massive bag of baking supplies. "I got the recipe, I timed everything out, I got a ton of blue food coloring. By the end of the day, the perfect birthday surprise will be completed."
"I'd never doubt a plan from Athena," I said, giving her a smile. "Just tell me what to do, and I'm on it."
"Right. Well, first we need to preheat the oven."
That was about the only part of the plan that ended up going off without a hitch. Annabeth didn't bake often, and she'd happened to choose a pretty difficult cookie recipe. I did my best to help, but I didn't have a lot of experience in the area either, so things went quickly off the rails. Just under two hours later, the two of us stood in the kitchen covered in flower, eggs, and bits of way too watery dough, staring at the absolute disaster of a mess we'd created on the counter.
"This was not part of the plan," she said. I couldn't help it—I burst out laughing.
"I don't know, I think sugar cookies are supposed to be so wet we can't pick them up," I joked. I turned to see Annabeth with a very serious frown on her face.
"I haven't had a plan fail this miserably in... a long time."
"Well, I think it's probably time for plan B. That can be your redemption."
Annabeth's frown just deepened, so I did what any good sibling would do and took it upon myself to cheer her up. By throwing a wad of dough in her face, of course.
Her mouth dropped open in shock as sugary, goopy dough dripped off her chin. Then she whirled on me with a fierce look and fire in her eyes that I recognized from the few times she'd really been on the warpath for capture the flag.
"That was a mistake."
She picked up the nearest glob of dough and chucked it at me as I tried to dodge. It hit me in the back with a thunk, and I cackled before turning around to reengage with a clump of flour.
The baking battle raged for a few fierce minutes, before Annabeth and I slipped in some dough on the floor while wrestling to smear more of the stuff on each others' heads. We collapsed in a heap, both of us laughing like crazy people.
"That was so worth everything that came before it," I declared, slumping against the nearest kitchen cabinet. Annabeth immediately followed suit, leaving us shoulder to shoulder in the middle of the mess.
"What about the cleanup that comes after?"
"Also worth it, especially since I have you here to help me."
Annabeth snorted, but didn't say anything. After a minute of comfortable silence, she sighed.
"What am I gonna do for Percy's birthday tomorrow?"
"Well, were the cookies the only plan?"
"No... He took me to one of his favorite spots in the city a few days ago, so I planned a picnic for the two of us there. The cookies were going to be the final surprise."
"Well, there you go then. The rest of the plan remains intact. If you wanted to, you could even make him a little coupon or something that promises 'one day of baking cookies' or something like that, and the two of you can pick an easier but still delicious recipe to try."
Annabeth looked at me with a skeptical eyebrow raised.
"Would you let us use your kitchen again?"
I shrugged. "Sure. Maybe Percy's better at baking than us. And even if he's not, having someone who can control water to help us with cleanup will at least make a round two of this easier."
Annabeth smiled and huffed a laugh, leaning against me.
"Thanks. For this, and for everything. I'm really glad you're here in San Francisco with us."
I smiled too, reaching out to put one arm around Annabeth. We'd known each other more than a decade, and we'd both changed so much. But our relationship had stayed the same.
"Any time, Annabeth. You know I'm always here for you." The two of us sat there for a minute, taking a breather and appreciating each other's company, and then I sighed. "Alright, time to get the cleaning stuff out. This is going to take hours."
"You know, I actually have a lot of coursework I need to get started on-"
"Nice try, but it's orientation. And even if you were in the middle of finals, you wouldn't be getting out of this."
"Fine. But next time, let's plan to avoid the massive kitchen food fight."
I grinned. "Sure. We can plan on that."
****************
Everything Taglist: @rosecentury @kmc1989
Riordanverse: @valkyriepirate
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millepara · 7 months ago
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himitsu no aipri episode 1 (a week late)
it's been so long since I've written about a priseries (or any other idol) show... I'm realizing that I legit didn't think I'd ever get the chance again. I got tired of doing it before because I felt like I was either complaining too much (planet) or just happy abt everything that was happening (primagi) and thus had nothing interesting to say either way, but ever since watching aipri on sunday I've been looking forward to this... I think I'm just happy about new idol anime content after such a long drought tbh but it's something good that aipri has already brought us, no matter what you or I think of anything else about it.
I missed the first 5 minutes bc I was reading bad fanfiction in bed to wake up (nigh daily routine) and totally forgot abt aipri... then I did remember and had to sprint to my computer, but the stream kept stopping so I missed some critical stuff throughout. I liked the ep okay, but maybe actually seeing all of it will improve it?
ohhh ok it starts off with those cute lemon coords in the op. actually this does help, those coords are easily my favs that I've seen in aipri so far. esp Mitsuki's blue one is sooo cute... I am saying this as a person that buys every single blue gingham item of clothing I come across though haha. I will say that the coord & dance totally don't match the sort of sweeping fairytale (just mistyped that as dairytale. hm) majesty that the bgm and voiceover is going for, but...
oh, I didn't know that Mitsuki had a snippet of performance in here. I've seen it in gameplay videos already, I like it ok---wow, it's already over.
the way Mitsuki is pausing for her viewers to answer is just like shows for preschoolers... they're really going after that age group, huh. (do actual streamers do stuff like that....?)
oh, I already saw Himari get a call from her sister. looks like I only missed 1 minute.
that is the ugliest anime dog I've ever seen, hands down, but Hiiro is cute. I'm sure she's well on her way to being the Non or whoever the prichan little sister was of aipri, in terms of popularity.
I do think it is very, very interesting that in this pretty series anime which is aimed at perhaps the youngest audience yet, they have put the mc in a dorm, away from her family. weird. actually I am for the first time realizing exactly how many anime have schools with dorms. you'd think japan is overflowing w boarding schools but idk of a single one lmao...
Mitsuki: it sure was the right decision to move into the dorm!
Himari: (completely ignores her statement to bring up aipri)
Himari's look out of aipri is really cute, I've finally decided. it's a shame that her twintails as an aipri are such a weird shape??? why do they curve up on the outside like that, all I can see is a large intestine when I look at them...... :(
the first time I watched this my internet cut out just as Mitsuki's face was approaching Himari's. I knew what she was doing bc of the comic in the aipri fanbook, but still it was like, oh! looks like it's gonna be another totally straight pretty series show!
oh man, the op. the song itself is cute and catchy, but this vtuber's voice is just too much, and it gets more too much as the song goes on. I get the appeal of her being a "real-life aipri", and presumably she's popular so her fans might be drawn to watch, but I hope she doesn't sing the next op too..... oh you know what would be kind of cool is if every op was sung by a different vtuber. that way if one sucked we wouldn't have to hear them again, and they'd showcase a lot of different people.
Meganee is especially exceptionally cute in her op cameo!!!
oh. A Crush. let it be insignificant 🙏 but if they become idol princesses too I'll allow it.
I like Chii's voice a lot, and her passion regarding aipri, but on the list of things I'm finding myself saying "oh. shame :( " about is her unfortunate hairstyle. also speaking of things that remind me of other things, her name Chii Mamiya sounds like "chi mamire" (blood-soaked) or "chi mame" (blood blister). surely I am not the only Japanese understander who hears this.
Yusa Kouji-sensei has by far my fav character design in this show. he is officially my favorite aipri.
wow, it's the classic post-covid tv broadcast opening ceremony... a chillingly real element in this fantasy rich kid school. irl this is the first year since covid we've had in-person opening ceremonies in many schools, it's a shame they don't get to at paradise academy yet lmao
I'm not even going to touch this whole welcome speech. I'm just going to slowly back away and pretend like I didn't see anything.
I love the aikatsu-level background character design in this classroom!! bicolor twintails is cute.
I wonder if these elementary schoolers are relevant or are just there to show how many people are watching Himari.
lmao despite what I said about Chii I think we were sharing the same braincell when she said "Her Victoria levels are out of control!!" they totally are!!
am I misunderstanding this or did Victoria not ban aipri? didn't she say "in moderation" only...? this is literally the same kind of thing schools say irl abt cutting down on screen time. just more dramatic.
so the elementary kid is relevant. Yuma... will he be an aipri too? if not, why would he even exist?
I didn't catch the first time around that this bracelet was the one uh, Candy Motif was fiddling with in the student council meeting. where'd she get it from?
this is the least amount of love I've ever seen put into a commercial break eyecatch.
are the aimus... cute? I can't see it...
it's very funny that the lipstick immediately disappears when they go 3d. they knew it looks bad, and they've still gotta cram it in there for that single second to sell toys.
this cgi. I think everyone's said it so far, but it's really not the best... I think I might like the game's graphics a little better, even. I do like seeing the coords lit up at least.
P.O.P.P.Y is a cute enough song. it's just barely on the listenable side of the line for me, but I do think it's a great match for what aipri is going for. also that is definitely a dance that was made for preschoolers to imitate.
buzzalyume... idk if anyone is aware or not, but buzz is a word that's in really common use regarding social media in japan atm. like you would say "that's buzzing" (literally I mean, figuratively it's more like "that's all the buzz" like the english use of the word) about something that's all over your timeline or whatever. so it's not totally out of left field for them to choose that word in particular, but it doesn't mean that it sounds any less forced, that's for sure!!
Bear Bear Bear's voice is cute.
I don't like these emoji reactions all over the screen. not cute.
the ed is cute.
...finally, I watched it all. whew. I have to say, I was not wowed by it! but it was fine. it's far better than having no pretty series at all. I keep thinking "I'll put off my opinion till I know more about it" about aipri and I'm tempted to say it again now--in this episode we barely met the main two characters in favor of worldbuilding. it kind of makes sense as the first ep of a little kid show, but will the rest of the show stay at this same level of character depth? it's way too early to say. but for me, that's what'll determine how much I like it.
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thesorryboys-updates · 8 months ago
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Hi. I submitted an ask to this blog a few...days? Weeks? I don't know. Some time ago. Basically, it detailed my relationship with Gold (I'm not calling him by the name he wants to be known as) and how I was worrying about how to tell my sister about this, ending with how it felt like I was being buried alive. I'm back. Just for a moment, just to say one thing:
Thank you.
Thank you so, so much for letting us spill our feelings and for never judging us when we do so. It would be so easy to just abandon this blog. I've seen a few people online make fun of former fans for being justifiably upset, and it would be easy to do that too. But you haven't done either of those things. You made a space for all of us to get everything out, and for that, I'll forever be grateful. I cannot tell you how healing it was to just vent.
I guess I should give an update on my situation. Things got a bit better, then a little worse, but now everything feels...alright. I'm not 100%, but I'm at about 65%. I did some things I'm not proud of since I sent my last message. But I also realised that my sister doesn't care about Gold in the slightest and hasn't for some time, which has eased that worry. A few of my friends have helped me, but I've mostly been doing this all by myself. Finding out that someone who helped form my identity was a horrible person was devastating. I was already having a depressive episode when this was all came out. I felt lost and directionless for a while, like something very important had been taken out of me.
Thankfully, though, things have gotten easier. The days aren't a blur anymore. I've finally started feeling a bit lighter. I just want to thank both you and my friends for helping me get through this. And if any former fans are reading this, I hope you manage to move on. This will pass eventually, no matter how heavy it seems.
Thank you, so much. I hope you're doing well, and if you're not, I hope you feel better soon. Stay strong <3
<3
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aurorafables · 18 days ago
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From the Grey, Chapter 12.
Hello there! Now it didn't take that long :)
I looked up at her and shook my head helplessly.  “I've never been interested in a guy.” “Except him.” “Except him. But I don't even know when it started."
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Pairing: Noah Sebastian X Nicholas Ruffilo
Warnings: 18+, Explicit, Angst, Past character death, Suicidal thoughts
Tags: M/M, M/F, Slow burn, Childhood friends, Friends to lovers, Family drama, Band fic, Masturbation, Accidental Voyeurism, P in v sex
Word Count: 3.9k
Cross-posted: AO3
12.
“I don't want you to go back on tour in January.” Danni hugged me so tightly that I could barely breathe.
The past few weeks have been too good. It's like we're still kids. For sure, the best thing I did during the break was to help Danielle move into a new apartment. I've had too much crap in the past period, and assembling IKEA furniture late into the night, flipping through our old photo albums, snuggling, and eating ice cream have all been good for me. We installed a shelf on the wall, on which family photos will be displayed.
“Chris will come over to help at any time, you just have to ask him.” I smoothed a strand of hair from his face while looking into a pair of greenish-gray eyes that were very similar to mine.
“Chris already has a fiancee. I can't ask him to sleep here and watch movies until night while we eat popcorn or ice cream,” Danni answered sadly. “And anyway... you were always my favorite brother, but don't tell anyone” she stuffed a handful of gummy bears into her mouth.
“I won't,” I answered laughing. I turned back to the wall and drilled the last hole we needed.
“And… What is it like without Maya?” she asked unexpectedly when I put the drill down. I turned to her, and it must have been written on my face that I was surprised by the sudden change of subject. She raised her hand defensively and I got the chance to steal a piece of gummy from her. “When you came home, you asked me to come back to this subject later. It's been two months, so…”
I lifted the shelf and adjusted it in the right place.
“Would you hold it while I screw it in?”
Danni took over the shelf from me and I got to work.
“In the first few weeks, it was strange that I didn't have a girlfriend. But I'm pretty used to it now.”
“So, in the past weeks, you didn't even miss Maya, but a random girlfriend.” Danielle remarked.
“I want to be honest with you. But that doesn't make me feel any less shitty,” I answered bitterly. “A huge stone fell from my heart when it turned out that she was not pregnant.”
“This is completely normal, you were not meant for each other. By the way, you said last time that you sometimes called each other since then. I just want you to remember that she scammed you with this child thing.”
I screwed in the third screw, thinking about Danni's words as I did so.
“You couldn't know what was going on until you did the test.”
Danielle snorted.
“Of course, she also accidentally forgot to take the medicine for weeks. Nick, let's be honest with each other… Maya tried to trick you with the age-old "I'm pregnant with your child" thing when she sensed that things were starting to go wrong between you two. There is nothing to beautify this.”
I might have pulled the shelf a little harder to see if it would hold. Then I started packing up the tools. 
“Maya almost kissed Noah before she got together with me,” I blurted out. “After the breakup, Jolly told me that,  when he was not completely sober. Of course, Noah didn't say a word about it for months,” I couldn't hide the disappointment in my voice if I wanted to. I turned to my sister. “I have nice friends, I can say.”
Danielle took a deep breath.
“I felt that there was something wrong with that girl” she shook her head angrily. “But I forbid you to fight with your friends because of it. It's not worth it, you hear what I'm saying?” she squeezed my arm tightly.
“Calm down, Danni, I can fix these things myself,” I took her hand and smiled a little. “I needed some distance from the others. I needed time with you.”
Really, it was a huge step forward that I didn't have to worry every day, every hour about how I really feel about Noah. Danielle distracted me, we did programs together or just enjoyed each other's company. Of course, then came the evening and the minutes before falling asleep, when my brain just couldn't turn off and started projecting memories with my best friend. A wonderful smile, a lingering touch, his closeness, his smell... And the control of my fantasies sometimes slipped out of my hands. I felt a little ashamed again when I remembered what I had done one night when Danni had gone out to have fun with her friends and I was alone in the apartment. 
Noah initiated the group call because there were some topics we needed to chew on as we prepared for our European tour earlier this year. The whole conversation promised to be dead boring, so I prepared myself a large mug of coffee in advance, settled myself comfortably on the sofa, and if necessary, I also added my thoughts to the given topic. Organization and measures were not my world, I was just waiting to play with the guys on stage again. For a while, everything went as usual: Noah said things and waited for our opinion. Or he just brought up something that he needed to make a decision about and was waiting for our help. We were talking about renting stage lights and Jolly was speaking when something interrupted the discussion.
“Ahh, shit! Fuck!” Noah moaned, and my arm got goosebumps from his voice. “Jesse, I swear I'll kill you when I'm done here!” he added a few seconds later. “Jesse decided to shoot me in the back of the head with a water pistol while we were talking,” he explained to us, but it was clear in his voice that he was not so angry and was already half smiling.
From then on, all day long I could think of nothing but that sweet, high voice. Maybe the two beers I had that night contributed to the fact that I didn't even try not to think about Noah in the shower as I ran my palm over my stomach and purposefully moved lower and lower. I could recall his voice from the shower as I unsuspectingly opened the bathroom door at the lake house and paired it with the moans on the phone, which was more than enough to make my cock hard before I even touched it. I let out a tortured laugh and turned my face to the ceiling, shaking my head as the water ran through my hair, patting the wet curls against my back. This is all unbelievable. It's like I'm a teenage boy who needs only a tiny little spark to ignite. I bit my lip and carefully wrapped my fingers around my cock because I was starting to feel like I didn't know exactly how my body was going to react when it came to Noah. I didn't want to end like in the house by the lake, lying on the wooden floor, not knowing about my world. I let my imagination run wild and at the end, when I said his name, I realized that it was perfect that way. Noah - it's all a sweet sigh that slipped out of my mouth with infinite ease during orgasm.
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“Noah!” I woke up to my own desperate voice and reached frantically to the other side of the bed to feel the cold mattress. When I realized it was all just a silly dream, I sat in the middle of the bed panting, my heart beating painfully.
The knock startled me and I buried my face in my hands as I realized that I had probably woken up my sister. 
“Nick, can I come in?” Danni asked from the other side of the door. I raised my head to answer. Some light was already shining through the blinds, maybe it wasn't that early.
“Yes,” I answered weakly, and I saw how she stuck her disheveled head through the opening of the door.
“Is everything okay?” she asked, blinking at me with sleepy eyes.
“Yes, come in,” I invited again, and she finally entered the room. She stood by the bed, wrapping her arms around herself. I lifted the corner of the blanket a bit and that seemed to be all she needed because she immediately snuggled up next to me and let out a contented sigh as she successfully occupied one of my pillows as well.
I wanted to go outside to smoke, but I changed my mind, because as much as that dream upset me, it was good that I was no longer alone. 
“A bad dream?” She turned her face towards me. I also lay down facing her, pulled the blanket over my shoulders and curled up on my side.
"I had a dream that Noah was kidnapped by some crazy fans," I admitted because I was sure she heard me call out my best friend's name.
Danielle pinched her lips between her fingers, and her lost look made it look like she wanted to say something, but didn't know how to say it. 
“Nick, how long has this been going on?” she asked, getting my heart rate up again.
“What are you thinking?” I asked back and swallowed a big one, but the lump still remained in my throat. 
Danni sighed and closed her eyes tiredly.
“No matter what I think. Why don't you visit him if you miss him? You are no longer with Maya, there is no one to ask permission from.”
And I think that was exactly the problem. The gap closed between the two of us, and I was afraid that there was nothing that could stop me from doing something crazy when Noah and I were together again. Maybe that's why I pushed myself away during the last days of the tour. I was afraid of losing him, just like in my dream, which started with us hugging each other. I couldn't see his face, but I could smell him, feel the heat of his skin, and I'd never felt so safe as I did in that silly dream. Then suddenly more faceless people came and tore us apart.
I thought back to the day Noah decided he didn't want to live with me anymore. That he doesn't want to go to work with me anymore, he doesn't want to fight over which of us takes a shower first, he doesn't want us to sip coffee together on our day off tired, half leaning on the kitchen table, he doesn't want to listen to Contact with me before falling asleep, he doesn't want sleeping in a bed with me where we can snuggle to save on the heating… And he doesn't want to wake up next to me in the morning.
I was just making dinner for the two of us when Noah stepped out of the bathroom with his hair still wet and stood leaning against the counter. As he bent forward, he was almost lost in the black T-shirt he was wearing. I felt that something was bothering him that day, but I also knew that I had to be patient with him, and he would tell me anyway if I needed to know.
“Could you taste it, please?” I asked him, referring to the tomato pasta sauce. When he nodded, I took out a clean spoon and dipped it into the sauce. “It would be tastier with beef, but we didn't have it at home, so…”
"Nick, we need to talk," Noah cut in, and when I looked to the side, I saw that his whole face was gloomy.
“Okay, but first tell me if it will be good like this.” I gave him the spoon, maybe just to kill time. Noah finally tasted the sauce, then shrugged.
“I think it’s delicious… Why are you even asking me? You are much better at cooking.”
“Because the two of us will eat it, and if I guess correctly, you also have taste buds,” I answered and took the spoon from his hand, then turned back to the stove to sprinkle some more spices into the food. Noah just sighed, then sat down at the table and started typing on his phone. Meanwhile, I cooked the pasta, then leaned on the open window frame and lit a cigarette.
“You are in a bad mood all day. Is this what you want to talk about?” I cut in when I felt that if I continued, I would only prolong the suffering of both of us. Noah put his phone down and reached over to my cigarette case to take out a cigarette and light it. He only spoke when he flicked off the first batch of ash.
“I'm moving out at the weekend.”
I laughed at the strange feeling that shot through my chest. Noah looked at me confused with his brown eyes. A pained smile spread across my mouth and my limbs began to shake, probably from shock. But it wasn't as unexpected as it seemed. Noah had been looking at apartments for rent for months, but he hadn't revealed that he had found one for himself. I propped the window frame with my forearm—mainly to keep myself from falling to my knees on the pavement, not to try to look casual—and brushed my hair back from my forehead with the hand holding the cigarette. I didn't care if I set my curls on fire either. I was numb, desperate, and utterly mortified.
“On the weekend? And you're just saying now?” I moaned out my completely meaningless questions. Noah is moving out. Noah will no longer live with me.
“I... it only came out a few days ago, and you worked until the evening all week, then fell into bed dead tired. We didn't have a chance to sit down and discuss.”
I can't watch him sleep anymore. I can't listen to his breathing.
“This is important enough to sit down and discuss at any time. Even at night,” I muttered weakly.
Noah stubbed out his cigarette in exasperation and now it was his turn to run his fingers through his hair as he put his elbows on the table.
“Don't be angry... Until now somehow... I couldn't bring it up.”
I can't take care of him if he needs me… I won't smell him in bed…
“It doesn't matter. The point is that you found a good apartment.”
I also stubbed out my cigarette and stepped away from the window. I trusted that my legs would hold me.
"It's just acceptable," Noah snorted. “But finally something that I can call my own.”
I nodded, my smile finally genuine. I tried to put all my pain in the background, which was triggered by his announcement.
“I'm proud of you. You've worked hard to be able to do this.”
I went to the stove and grabbed the pasta to put on the table. While Noah was picking for himself, I went to the fridge and took out the wine I had received from one of my lovely tattoo guests as a token of his satisfaction. It didn't seem to be the cheap variety, and we'd had it for weeks, just waiting for it to come out on some big occasion. I closed my eyes for a moment and counted to three with the bottle in my hand. I can do it. This is an important moment for Noah, I can't let my selfishness come to the fore. I went back to him and poured some of the wine for us to toast with before dinner.
The night before the move, I woke up to Noah's soft sniffles. I thought he was having a bad dream, but then he snuggled up to me and hugged me like a koala. We were horribly hot and probably neither of us slept a wink, but we still lay huddled together as the first rays of dawn broke through the thick material of the blackout. 
When the band was formed, it gave us another opportunity to spend more time together, even though most of the time the guys were there with us. There was a short period with our first album when the five of us moved into a small apartment, where we pretty much lived on each other's backs with amplifiers, instruments and everything else, and it was obvious that this could not be sustained for long. Eventually, Jolly and Noah decided to move to California, and then we were no longer just a few streets away, but states. 
Just like that morning when I watched Danielle go back to sleep next to me in bed. I reached for my phone. Dad sent a picture of our song playing on the radio in the morning as he went to work. I smiled, wondering what they would say if they found out? What if my family finds out that maybe Noah and I are more than friends? I glanced back at Danni. We never said it, but we've talked about it so much that it's impossible for her not to know what's going on... but the strangest thing is that she wasn't even surprised by it and talked about it quite naturally every time. I decided there was no need to dwell on it. Maybe I'm just misinterpreting the whole thing. But I'm sure I'll have to find out somehow. 
I started looking at airplanes and decided not to wait until Christmas. I bought a ticket for the plane that left two days later, then quietly climbed out of bed and, after a quick shower, went to the kitchen to make ourselves pancakes for breakfast. 
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Just Pretend soared and brought attention to the band. Our European tour was sold out weeks before it started, which resulted in many fans not even getting tickets. Since everything was booked well in advance, it was impossible to expand or reorganize the venues. As Danielle and I went for a Saturday afternoon coffee after lunch, two girls first stopped me on the street to take a photo with me, which until now really only happened at concerts and festivals where we performed. It was a strange situation, I was also a little tense, and I began to understand what Noah must be going through as our popularity grows. At the cafe, the waiter asked me which band I play in because he knows me from somewhere. He didn't ask for a picture, but noted that he loved The Death Of Peace Of Mind and wished us the best of luck going forward. And that was just one afternoon in town.
“I think you have to get used to this slowly,” Danni commented with a smile when the waiter went back to place our order.
“I will be forced to,” I answered, glancing towards the window. It was only four in the afternoon, but it was already dusk outside. “You know, this is the part I would leave out,” I looked at her. “But at the same time, it's so nice to see how happy they are with a picture.”
Danielle nodded.
“I'm proud of you, you're doing very well so far,” she tried to encourage. The waiter arrived with the requested coffees. “And now you tell me why you brought me here?”
I laughed, skimming the milk foam from my cappuccino. 
“Why can't I invite my sister for a coffee?”
“We could have made one at home. I have the most professional automatic coffee machine.”
“I wanted to go out,” I snapped at her. “I wanted to come here with you because you've always loved this place and... and I'm leaving tomorrow afternoon.”
Danielle raised her head and tucked a long strand of dark brown hair behind her ear as she grinned like a maniac. 
“You know I love you, but if you don't do it sooner or later, I'll take you to the airport myself and put you on the first flight to Los Angeles.”
“I needed some time to think things over,” I looked at her seriously. “It was especially good that I was away from them.”
Danielle nodded in agreement, then took a sip of her coffee and sighed in satisfaction.
"From him," she corrected. “The coffee is still divine here. And I understand you. Not so long ago you broke up with your girlfriend, with whom you had been together for almost a year, it is quite natural that you needed time. But the delay now seems more like suffering to me.”
“I don't know what he wants,” I muttered to myself while folding the tip of the napkin. “I might come back after a day or two.”
“Of course you don't know, maybe he doesn't either, because he's just as confused as you are. But no,” Danni shook her head, laughing. “I don't know Noah as someone who will put you on the street. And anyway… it would be quite outrageous after sharing your apartment with him for three years.”
“We don't know how things will turn out…”
“Nick, are you listening to me? For as long as I've known Noah, he always has been looking for you with his glance. He looks at you like you're his savior. And let's face it, you kind of were just when he needed a savior the most.”
“Doesn't it bother you?” slipped out of my mouth because I didn't understand.
“What exactly?”
I groaned and with a big sigh leaned closer to my sister over the table so no one could hear us.
“That 's about my best friend. That… that he's a… man,” I whispered through gritted teeth.
“Are you implying that why I didn't freak out that you're bisexual?” Danielle asked back, her big, gray-green eyes boring into mine. I just blinked and looked down at the table. “Because you're still my Nicky. Do you know that?”
I looked up at her and shook my head helplessly. 
“I've never been interested in a guy.”
“Except him.”
“Except him. But I don't even know when it started. Can I show you something?” I asked, driven by a sudden idea. “I need to know if I'm just imagining it.”
When Danielle nodded, I reached into my jacket pocket and pulled out the Polaroid photo I'd been looking at all morning to see if I could decipher it. The picture with Anne, my ex, and a sad Noah in the background who looked just like his heart was broken. I pushed the picture in front of my sister and anxiously waited to see what she thought. 
“Noah hated Anne from the bottom of his heart, and he never told me why. There was a possibility in my mind that he wanted her for himself, but… I just don't think so. My instincts don't tell me that.”
Danielle looked at it thoughtfully for a moment, then slid the picture back in front of me. A half-smile crossed her lips.
“If he feels just a small part of what he felt when the picture was taken, he will never let you go back to Virginia.”
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wanderingjedi77 · 1 year ago
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Starlight Part One
Hera Syndulla x Fem! Reader
Summary: As a former 501st soldier, you've been assigned to the Ghost to get rid of whatever Imperial programming you have left. Hera is more then understanding.
Part One | Part Two
You had seen a lot in your 23 years.
Endor, Yavin, Ryloth, Chandrilla. The 501st were the first ones in and the last ones out. You were supposed to be better then the clone brothers who came before. But then the Empire lost, and everything shattered.
All you had known was the Empire. You lived for it. Would have taken your last breath for it. Had you not been captured after Endor and sent for re-education via the Ghost.
The first few weeks were tense. You didn't trust them and kept to yourself. You didn't want their filthy Rebel hands helping you with anything.
Until you had jammed the hydro-spanner, and it had shot back out, hitting you in the head. Jacen, Hera's son, had gotten her; he always stuck around you, and you admitted; he was a nice kid. You didn't mind. But you squirmed away from Hera, hand on your own wound; until she had pried your hand gently away to look at it.
"It's not too deep. You'll have a good bruise." She gently chided you; and you looked away as Jacen came back with the med kit, and Hera patched you up.
"Thank you." You managed to get out, and when you glanced at Hera she was smiling softly.
"You're welcome, y/n." She put one of her hands on your knee as she stood up and squeezed before leading Jacen away. You stared at the door as it shut and felt your stomach flip.
Rebels weren't supposed to be nice.
It was a few weeks after that you had enough courage to join Hera one evening in the cockpit. You were going to Lothal and wouldn't be there until morning. You glanced at her as she turned when the doors opened before making your way to the co pilots chair to sit down.
"Why are you up so late?"
"Why are you?" You countered quietly and Hera laughed.
"Soneone has to keep the ship running." Hera smiles, teasing. "Besides my favorite mechanic."
"I thought chopper was your favorite mechanic." You look at her, startled by how blue her eyes are in the semi darkness.
"He's my favorite droid mechanic." Hera replies. She turns her chair to face you. "You have nightmares don't you?"
"All the time." You answer honestly. "I dream I'm still fighting. About the brothers and sisters I have lost. "
Hera frowns. "Sometimes I dream I'm still fighting too." She shifts closer, and you freeze as she takes your hand, holding it gently. "Your going to be okay. You're safe here in this ship, with me."
You hesitate, "Thank you. I'm sorry I'm so horrible." You apologise.
"You're not horrible." Hera says gently. "I wouldn't let anyone around my family that I thought was horrible."
You nod and sigh, ducking your head; your eyes stinging. But a 501st soldier doesn't cry. Your swallowing hard, trying to keep your sobs quiet as Hera moves closer, pulling you into a hug.
"It's okay." Hera holds you tightly. "You're going to be okay." She rests your head on top of yours as you cling to her. God's, why were you acting like this? She was supposed to be the enemy.
By the time you stop crying, Hera is threading her hands through your hair, and you pull away enough to gently untangle yourself from her arms, although she perches herself on the arm rest to keep an arm around you.
"Better?"
"Yes." You offer her an embarrassed smile. "I'm not sure the last time I cried." You laugh slightly , relieved.
"It's good for you." Hera smiles back. She motions her head to the captains chair. "Let's keep you distracted for now. Go and sit there."
"This is your ship."
"Yes. Which means I can train whoever I want to fly it." Hera replies with a raised brow. "Are you arguing with me? Disobeying orders?"
You hesitate because the way she said that leaves little room for arguing. "No, general."
"Then I suggest you work quickly before I change my mind." Hera suggests. "I've seen the way you watch when I'm flying. If you wanted to learn, you could have asked."
You want to say it wasn't the flying you were interested in, but the pilot. Instead you sit up and move to the chair, sitting down. Your in hyperspace, so there's not much you can do.
"You'll learn where everything is. And once you can do that I'll give you a more practical lesson." Hera moves to stand next to you.
"Now tell me what this is..."
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1d1195 · 1 month ago
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I COULDNT SLEEP LAST NIGHT SO I SPENT THE NIGHT REREADING ALL OF TRADTIONAL !!!! AND IT WAS SOOO MUCH FUN I LOVEEE THEM😭😭😭 he was sooooo down bad im obsesseddd
"bro, you're annoying as fuck" GOODBYEEEE THAT IS ACTUALLY THE REALEST IVE EVER HEARDDDD. my dad is always like “you know, u can tell me anything.” AND IM LIKE “since when?? i literally can’t???” this is the same man that gets sooo mad when i just ask a question he doesn’t like😭 but my big brother’s wife is actually pregnant and she’s due soon so one good thing is i’m going to get to be here for that !!
sam you’re too sweet i looove you😭😭 my sister calls me barbie all the time and i think it’s so cute you chose the same nickname. I LOVE YOU YOU BEAUTIFUL, AMAZING, TALENTED WOMAN🫶🫶🫶🫶
i used to usually make my coffees at home. id brew it in a french press orrrr id make some using my keurig (omg if u or a friend have a nespresso machine those make it taste SOOOOO GOOD my mom has one and i LOVE using it) i add a little bit of sugar while its hot and i let it cool down and id use oat milk (i’ve only tried two brands; califa farms & oatly, i enjoyed them both. if im out i literally just use regular milk cuz whtvr) and thennn id use the coffee mate french milk creamer (is that what it’s called? it’s milk idk) and then a little bit of the torani vanilla syrup (cause it’s pretty strong). if my sweet tooth was kicking extra hard i’d add a drizzle of some white chocolate syrup.
HELPFUL AT HOME ICED COFFEE TIP I SAW ON TIKTOK: maybe this is common sense (it wasn’t for me tho🫣) but you’re supposed to add all your syrups and creamers into the coffee and mix it together AND THENNN pour onto ice😭😭 apparently it doesn’t mix as well when you pour them one by one onto the ice (WHICH IS WHAT I DID HAHA) and i did actually notice it made a slight difference.
so sorry that was wayyy longer than it had any right to be but it took me forever to find a way i enjoy making it at home. AND IT WORKS CAUSE EVERYONE IVE MADE IT FOR SAYS IT TASTES LIKE ICED COFFEE FROM A CAFE YAYYY !!! when i go out though i usually get a cup from dunkin. their cold brews are sooo yummmm and i love getting the sweetened cold foam.
omg thank you for asking abt the whole GED, i can’t believe you remember, its so sweet that you do, but i was actually going to bring it up in my last ask but i guess i forgot to. I DIDNT HAPPEN☹️ I HAD TO CANCEL THE CLASSES BEFORE I EVEN STARTED BECAUSE OF THIS TRIP☹️☹️☹️☹️ it actually upset me soooo much at the time. i’ve been trying for a couple years now and it NEVER works out, i was SO sure it would this time, but now im starting to wonder if the universe if just telling me it’s not meant for me😭
i don’t have anything planned yet but hopefully it’s chill. i hope you have a great weekend as well babe !!!💕💞✨
~🎶
I frequently reread traditional. Especially when I'm in the mood to write about them more. I really like how caring Harry is in that one 🤭 I think it's cute when he tries to spoil his girl 🥰
My dad knows surface level things of me as best but he thinks we have this connection. I feel bad, he's mean to my sister. But tbh I don't tell my parents EVERYTHING. I tell my mom a lot, she's one of my favorite people, but since I've moved out, I just tell them both less and less. They're a lot of work and a) I don't want to burden them with my shit, and b) there's not much they can do at this point in time to help me.
BABYYYYYYYYYYYY boy or girl? Can I ask that? I love babies so much I love that for you!!!
AHHHHH I just went with your metaphor, but I love it! 💕
Okay I think I misled you. I buy a jug of cold brew every week and make coffee that way. I will have to try the pouring onto ice. I had NO IDEA. I do one at a time too! I don't have any coffee making machines. Everyone I KNOW has a nespresso machine. But I refuse. Idk. I'm a cold coffee gal and I'm like anti using hot to make it ice 😭
I think I've mentioned I'm from the Northeast before so I literally run on dunkin so I get you. I cold foam the other day (a treat for myself because I usually just do coffee) and it was SO good. I forgot how much I liked it!!! When Dunking does their $3 cold brew deal every day for a month (I think it's usually February because it's the shortest month--Capitalism am I right?) I enjoy getting cold brew from them!
I unfortunately yap a lot but I try to remember the big things! I'm glad I remembered! I kind of figured the trip would have affected it's happening. Don't give up yet! I think if this is something you want you should do it, regardless of how long it takes. Who cares if it's a little later than you wanted! I think if it's what you want then it's meant for you! 💕
xoxo
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f1-disaster-bi · 2 months ago
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How many cats do you have? And how did you get them?
They sound cute!
Currently we have two cats!
I've been lucky enough to grow up with pets. I had a dog and two cats that have crossed the rainbow bridge that I miss dearly.
Sindy, my dog that lived with my grandparents cause that's where we lived when we got her, was my first pet. She was a Jack Russell Terrier that we got from my sister's grandmother (years before my sister was born) and she passed when I was 15.
When we moved out and into our house, we couldn't bring Sindy (our vet said it'd be too stressful on her) so my Mam got me my first cat for my eight birthday, Tigger. Tigger was born wild and rescued as a kitten, and a few weeks later, my Mam got our cat Gizmo from Nans neighbour because she didn't want Tigger to be lonely. Gizmo was a black fluff ball of a cat that our vet thought was half Maine Coon because of his size. He passed at the age of 15. Tigger was also black but she had redish brown streaks (which is why I named her Tigger). She passed at the age of 18, and I miss them both to bits.
Currently, we have two cats that are 5 and 7 years old.
Echo is technically my sisters cat. My mam and sister adopted her from an animal rescue. She's black and we often call her our little void or Queen or Toothless because 1. She has huge green eyes and looks like Toothless with her ears back and 2. She has an autoimmune disorder that attacks her teeth so she's missing one upper fang (but she's healthy and gets regular check ups to keep an eye on it).
And then there is my boy, my dumbness, my idiot son: Oliver.
I adopted Oliver from our vets in 2019. He was found abandoned as a kitten in a carpark. He had ear mites and the sniffles but from the moment I met him he was the sweetest boy. Instantly let me cuddle him and the attacked my hair. He has one brain cell and doesn't know how to use it 😂😂
All of our cats have been rescues, and I think if I ever adopt more in the future that will be what I stick with. I'd rather rescue a cat from a shelter and give them a good life.
We also donate food and money to our local cat network that works on trapping and spaying strays and providing food for them and places for them to sleep safely or towards the shelters nearby that help strays and abandoned pets.
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corduroy-creates · 1 year ago
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I've been poking around the new community here on Tumblr for Starfield, and I'll be honest, it's a little lackluster, so I'd like to do my part and share my OC!
Rowan
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This is Rowan, she's a former Space Scoundrel who's trying to find her way in being a better, more legal, person. She's an empathic and caring soul who wants to do what she can to help people, but has been burned by others because of those feelings so she tries to keep it to herself. She has parents and a sister, and has caught the eye of one Adoring Fan 🥰
For the past week or so I've been working on an outline for her story. It's still very much a Work in Progress considering I'm taking my time going through the main quest, but I have a somewhat firm grasp on how it starts and her backstory, which I'll put in the cut below.
I'll be honest, it's just me reciting story beats of what all I've done in game, but hopefully in an interesting way. The further along I go the more the more I would like to insert more character and feeling into the story, but I'm pretty happy with what I have so far :)
One thing I'd like to ask y'all, have you ever seen the story of Cyrano? It may not come up in this first part, but it will be relevant 🤫 If you haven't I do seriously recommend it, it's a beautiful story.
Here's what I have figured out thus far: Pt.1/?
Rowan started out as a Space Scoundrel, running around with a spacer gang, specializing in persuading people and functioning as their getaway ship. This fell apart, however, after a series of circumstances that I'll get into later (gotta keep some mystery 😉). After she leaves them she does her best to keep moving and lay as low as possible. She's not sure if her old 'friends' will try looking for her, but it's better to be safe than sorry. Later on, she gets a job with a mining company on Vectera when she finds an artifact. Then Barrett gets there, they get raided, it's a whole ordeal... Barrett then tells her she has to make the delivery for the thing he (hopefully) paid Lin to find. Rowan put up less of a fight than she wanted to, but agreed to it nonetheless.
Rowan goes to Constellation with the intent to return their ship and robot and the funky piece of metal that Barrett commissioned Lin for, then wash her hands of the whole ordeal. it's getting way too weird, and weird could mean easily spotted... Unfortunately, things don't work out that way. Considering she's the one who first found the 'Artifact' they seem to want to keep a close eye on her.
[I'll be honest, I'm not sure how this next part should go. It pretty closely follows the MQ and the whole time Mabon is side-eyeing the whole group, not sure why they seem so intrigued to see her aside from the fact that she brought the artifact. She somehow gets roped into joining and doing the first mission with Sarah, and along the way she does an interview with SSNN about the attack on the mining colony by the Crimson Fleet.]
While she and Sarah were gone, the story about Vectera got published.
{Enter Cyrano, in a twist of the usual story, we see his and Roxanne's first meeting}
Her new Adoring Fan was a strange one indeed - Very excitable and visibly on the edge of vibration - she would have chocked it up to the copious accounts of coffee he says he normally gets, but he apparently didn't get any that day, er... at least not in the last 2-3 hours judging from his self told 3-4 cups a day. This man is going to die of heart failure if bit something specific to do with caffeine. He seems to be completely focused on her their entire conversation, and it makes her more than a little uncomfortable, and when he says that he wants to be part of her crew, she's not really sure how to take it.
For what feels like the first time since leaving her old crew she needs to be quick on her feet about how to handle the situation; she decides to make a deal with him, the two of them will do a few favors around the city for roughly a week, and if she decides he's not fit for her crew, he stays here and never speaks to her again. He agrees before she even realizes he said anything.
So, for that week they stay planetside in New Atlantis doing odd jobs and small favors for pretty much anyone. It doesn't really matter what they do, all she needs to know is how he handles himself and if he's trustworthy.
He actually surprises her. While he's not all that useful for getting insight to whatever it is they're helping someone with - he mostly likes hearing what she has to say and praises her no matter what it is - Rowan does find that it's pretty fun just having him tag along. Having a companion who seems to genuinely enjoy her presence... It's not something she's felt she had for a long time.
He also relishes in being her pack mule, which is something she kinda feels bad about but he seems to enjoy it, so what can you do I guess 🤷‍♀️
There were two things Rowan had to get out of the way at the start of their deal. First - considering how enamored he seemed to be with her, she had to ask, "You're not... romantically interested in me, are you?" Her fan was so quick to deny and reassure her that his (completely platonic) love for her was "unbreakable" and "unyielding", but he would "never sully something so pure, with something so ordinary". The last line in particular seemed a little weird to her, but he gave the answer she was looking for, so she let it slide and went onto her next question, "So what's you're name? I don't want to go around just calling you my 'Fan'."
His eyes shined brightly at the question before doing an overly dramatic semi-bow at the waist and answering, "My name is Adrian, my liege, and I am ever at your service!"
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