#i've been having them on loop in my head 24/7

[rubikor]

[autumnshighlady]

I've Always Liked to Play With Fire (part 29)

NESTA ARCHERON X ERIS VANSERRA X FEMALE!READER

summary: wedding night... activities

warnings: PURE SMUT!!! literally filth, i have no excuse. threesome, oral sex (F receiving), spanking, dom!Nesta, orgasm denial, face sitting, everything basically. slight talk of past trauma but that's it (seriously when y'all write threesomes why do your characters never discuss limits beforehand smh)

word count: 8.3k

DO NOT REPOST ANYWHERE

a/n: sorry i fell off the face of the earth... again..... i got super depressed and forgot how to write but i'm back now! rip to the person who requested neris x reader smut and had to wait 28 chapters for it lol

DISCLAIMER: none of this is proofread and i WAS drunk when i wrote it so it's a disaster but it's smutty so feast away

part 1 // part 2 / part 3 / part 4 / part 5 / part 6 / part 7 / part 8 / part 9 / part 10 / part 11 / part 12 / part 13 / part 14 / part 15 / part 16 / part 17 / part 18 / part 19 / part 20 / part 21 / part 22 / part 23 / part 24 / part 25 / part 26 / part 27 / part 28 / part 29 / part 30

read on ao3

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Your jaw hit the floor as you entered the unfamiliar room. Against the wall to your left was the biggest four poster bed you had ever seen, enough to fit at least 4 people with room for limbs to be spread but not touching. It was covered in a thick green blanket, with cream pillows and a knitted throw at the base. Almost-sheer gold curtains were wrapped from the top frame of the bed posters, held back by brass loops. There was a large, arching wall of flowers and branches surrounding a shelf behind the bed’s headboard. A few trinkets had already been strewn across the shelves – books, jewellery, a knife, all objects you had seen Eris possess. The floor was dark wood and elegant, with a large, red rug in front of the bed, offset by the most comfortable-looking, plushy chairs and couch you had ever seen. 

But what caught your eye the most was the expertly carved cinquefoil arches and pillars on the other side of the room that lead to a balcony. There were no windows between the pillars, but the room remained devoid of the chill of the night air. It was spelled, judging by the thin sheen of magic between the spaces. You couldn’t see the view at this hour, but you knew it would take your breath away.

Angling your head in amazement, you noticed two open doors on the right side. One led to what looked like a massive walk-in closet, while the other led to the bathroom. You followed the second door, peering in to see the largest bathing room you had ever seen. An enormous tub was carved into the floor at one end, a small fountain spurting from one end with dragon’s heads carved into it. Across from the tub was a spacious shower, with various faucets and shower heads at all angles and three shelves with different soaps and oils on them. Amazed, you stepped back into the main bedroom, too stunned to speak.

“So,” Eris smirked, sauntering up behind you and placing his hands on your waist. “What do you think, my love?”

Slack-jawed, you couldn’t find the words for a moment. You glanced at Nesta, who had come up beside you. Her eyes were wide, her soft lips parted ever so slightly in wonder. Everything in this room was perfect, down to the last detail. “Is this…” You tried to speak but your voice trailed off.

“Our room.” Nesta finished your sentence for you, her voice filled with awe.

You asked, “wait, did you know?”

Eris squeezed your sides gently. “She knew this was going to be my gift to you both. Unfortunately I had to tell her, as I needed her input in the construction of the shower. But this is the first time you have both seen it. It was originally a storage room, but I had it redone and it has been worked on for the past two months.”

You baulked. “Eris, I…” Once again, your voice trailed off. The scale of the room, the attention to detail, everything was specifically designed for you, Eris, and Nesta to live together without feeling cramped. Eris had done all of this for you, for Nesta. Even during those dark days where it seemed everything had gone awry, he had kept hope aflame with the building of this room. “I don’t even know what to say, this is incredible.”

Eris chuckled, resting his chin on your shoulder and letting his lips graze your ear as he murmured, “You don’t have to say anything. You both deserve it, and I am beyond thrilled that I have the honour of spoiling you like this. It is the least I can do, and it is just one of many endless ways I intend on proving my devotion.”

Instantly, your blood heated at the sensation and you let out a breath. You shivered slightly, face flushing at having your mate’s lips so close to your neck. The action did not go unnoticed. Nesta turned her head towards you, pupils widening with lust at the breath that escaped your lips. Eris simply moved even closer, his fingers stretching up your ribs ever so slightly. Even through the thick fabric of your wedding dress, your skin tingled where his fingers brushed and you sucked in a breath.

“My, my,” Nesta cooed, cocking her head and surveying you up and down like a dragon staring at her prey. The way her head tilted slowly, eyes aflame and each movement possessing a serpent-like quality reminded you of Athariel’s mannerisms – rider and beast, slowly morphing into a unified being. “Somebody is flustered easily.”

“That’s good,” Eris said smoothly, his voice like silk. “It means she listened when I told her she had to wait until the night of the wedding for her desires to be satisfied.”

“You really think I had time for any of that amidst the wedding chaos?” You tried to snap back, but your voice was breathy and weak. All you could think about was Eris’s hands on your sides and Nesta’s blue-grey eyes sizing you up. Your heart thumped louder in your chest as you realised your fantasies were going to be brought to fruition. All those weeks of having to suppress your urges were finally at an end. The sensation of your mates’ desire through the mating bond was almost overwhelming, igniting every nerve in your body.

Eris dragged his lips up and down the side of your neck, chuckling darkly at the shudder your body involuntarily made at the sensation. “Fair enough, we have been rather busy, haven’t we? I’m surprised you’ve made it this long.”

Nesta gracefully took a step closer to you, her rich, warm scent enveloping your senses as she gently removed the crown from your head, setting it down on the dresser a few feet away. “Oh please, take what Eris says with a grain of salt,” she rolled her eyes. “He’s been struggling to hold back just as much as we have. He’s desperate too.”

The High Lord paused his movements along your neck, amber eyes narrowing at her. “Careful, Nesta.” He purred. “I had planned on being generous to my mates tonight, I’d hate for it to turn into an evening of punishment and teaching that smart mouth of yours a lesson.”

Nesta bit the corner of her lip,and you couldn’t help but notice the sudden shift in the position of her thighs. She shot Eris a glare, lifting her chin with a challenge. “You wish.”

Before Eris could reply, you let out a snort of laughter at her boldness. A mistake, it seemed, as both your mates whipped their heads sharply towards you. Your stomach fluttered with a delicious fear, one that sent heat between your legs. 

“Is something funny?” Nesta asked, a hint of a smirk behind her lips.

You shook your head, resisting the urge to chuckle again. Truthfully, you were impressed with the self-restraint of your mates. For so many, the snapping of the mating bond ignited a weeks long frenzy of fucking. But even after the bond snapped between you, Nesta, and Eris, there had been next to no sexual touching. Every ounce of your being desired to ravage your mates, but Eris’s wishes to refrain until the wedding were the string that held you together. No, your male mate liked control. It was something you had always known about him, something that often made your imagination run wild with other types of control he would enjoy exercising. While you certainly liked your fair share of being in charge, you craved Eris’s approval that came with doing what he asked… after a good amount of mouthing off, that is.

Nesta had held herself together almost as well as Eris, refusing to give into your sly attempts to find a loophole in his command the last few weeks. She shared very little of what her and Cassian had done together, but you were itching to find out what she liked. To explore what buttons you could push, the sounds you could draw out from her plush lips…

Your thoughts were abruptly cut off as Eris’s hand found its way into the locks of hair by your scalp, expertly tugging and pulling your head back against his solid chest. The moan that escaped you was completely involuntary, your body going haywire at the simple action of your mate. 

“Nesta asked you a question,” Eris said sternly, forcing you to look up at him. Your breath caught in your throat as he tilted your head back enough for him to stare down at you. His amber eyes were dark with lust, the crown upon his head and the smug look on his face painting the perfect picture of royal arrogance. “It would do you well to answer it.”

This time you managed to catch the whimper in your throat as Eris tilted your head to the side so you were upright and facing Nesta again. The way he moved your body around as if you were a piece of chess on his playing board sent a new wave of arousal through you. You felt torn in two, part of you wanting to submit and let him use you as he pleased while the other part wanted to challenge him and face the consequences he would no doubt dole out.

Nesta’s arms were crossed, pushing up her breasts ever so slightly, which your hungry eyes noticed right away. She raised a groomed eyebrow, “well?”

Deciding to give both of them what they wanted for now, you answered. “What’s funny is I thought you’d be more submissive, Nesta. Your remark caught me off guard. After all, I know how badly you want to please Eris.” The first sentence was entirely untrue, something all three of you knew. But you couldn’t help but add kindling to the fire. The masochistic part of your brain wanted to see how you’d be punished, and if it’d be enough to break you into submission.

“Brave words for somebody who’s about to be at her mercy.” Eris’s voice was low and smooth, his lips returning to your ear. 

Nesta simply stared you down evenly, wicked cunningness lurking behind her eyes. “Pathetic, she wants us to not be nice to her and is trying to goad us into doing what she wants.”

You shook your head, but excitement ran through your veins. You heard Eris chuckle from behind you, and Nesta let out an exhale. With the mating bond still so fresh and the three of you in such close proximity, you knew they had felt your body’s every reaction as if it were their own. Despite the chill autumn breeze, the room felt stiflingly hot.

Eris’s hands moved higher on your hips, fingers spreading and ever so slightly grazing the underside of your breast through the fabric of your dress. Nesta stepped forward as well, so close you could smell the honey-lemon tart she ate for dessert on her breath. Her cheeks were flushed with desire, but her eyes still donned that stern expression that drove you crazy. Before you could say anything, her slender fingers reached down and brushed against the inside of your legs through your skirts. An icy hot shiver went up your spine at the contact, and you couldn’t help but arch into Eris, who at this point was responsible for holding you upright.

“So, it seems that you have a choice to make, my dear,” Eris said in your ear, rubbing agonisingly slow circles along your sides with his fingers. “How do you want this night to go? Do you want me to be nice and focus on making you both feel good, hm?” With those last few words, Eris gave your hair another pull, tilting your head further to the right and exposing more of your neck. You cried out as his lips and teeth finally found your skin, gently kissing and biting with the perfect amount of pressure. Instantly, your breathing became uneven, your body desperate for more.

After a few moments of pleasuring the sensitive skin on your neck, Eris removed his lips and continued. “Or perhaps, you want something a little different, for me to be mean and turn you into more of a desperate mess than you already are.”

Suddenly, the gentle strokes of his lips and tongue from before were replaced with sharp canines sinking into your skin. You gasped, a new wave of arousal rushing through you like the waves of a storm. His teeth stung in the most delicious way, mixing with the pleasure arising in your body and making your head spin.

“I think we have our answer.” Nesta chuckled, moving her hands to rest on your hip bones just below Eris’s. “But I want to hear her say it.”

“I…” You stuttered, world reeling from the whispers of touches from Nesta’s hands on your hips mixed with the harsh biting at your neck from your other mate behind you. “I want you to do your worst.”

“Masochistic little fox.” Eris purred. “If you need us to stop, please speak up at any point. This may not be the traditional coupling of mates, but I want you to enjoy it.”

“Nothing about us is traditional.” You couldn’t help but chuckle.

“That is true.” Nesta added. As if she couldn’t take the close proximity anymore, she crashed her lips into yours, squeezing your hips as she did so. Immediately, you placed your hands on her biceps, pulling her closer and moaning into the contact. Her mouth was soft yet all-consuming, and wetness almost immediately pooled between your legs. Nesta’s kisses have always turned you on in the several that you shared, but this was different. Before, they had been tender and longing, like a prayer echoing through an abandoned church. 

There was nothing tender about the way she was kissing you now. If her previous kisses were like a gentle creek flowing through the woods, this kiss was a tsunami. It bewitched your body and soul, her lips bold and claiming you wholly. You were hers, and she was yours – that’s all her kiss told you. You pulled her even closer, her chest brushing up against yours as Eris’s hands explored further, grazing your breasts more and more with each movement. You shuddered between them, lifting a hand and bringing it around Nesta’s neck, squeezing the back of it. She let out a moan, and you used the opportunity of her slack jaw to slip your tongue into her mouth, brushing her lips and tasting every inch of her.

After several minutes of being utterly consumed by the female, you felt her pull away. You let out a whine that was cut off abruptly as you were spun around to face Eris. His green cloak and dazzling crown had been discarded already, leaving him in his red and gold robes. Even without the royal symbols, there was no mistaking his power and status. It sent a thrill through you as you stared up at the male. Chuckling, Eris’s hand wove into your hair again as he pulled you forward, pressing his lips into yours. He was rougher than Nesta, a different kind of dominance, one that was nearly overwhelming. His lips were firm against yours, commanding every ounce of your attention, and you gladly gave it to him. The hand in your hair kept you immobile, unable to resist any which way Eris chose to move you.

You felt Nesta stir behind you, and after a few moments the strings trying together the back of the dress began to loosen. Her fingers expertly undid the material, and you eagerly pulled your arms from the long sleeves while keeping your lips glued to Eris. A shiver came over your body as Nesta’s fingers grazed your newly exposed skin, pulling the soft white and red fabric down your body and letting it fall to a heap on the floor before delicately removing the emerald necklace. Nesta also reached out and pulled the remaining few bobby pins out of your hair, releasing it from the previous mess of an updo it had become. 

You stood there in your underwear, skin covered in a thin layer of sweat from the evening’s festivities. You did not feel the urge to shy away and cover yourself as you had when getting undressed with previous lovers. Even as Eris pulled away and took a step back to drink in your naked form, you did not cower. You were his equal, and he yours. He would come to know your body like the back of his hand, there was no use in trying to hide it.

His amber eyes went from lustful to angry as they found the scar below your belly button, that cursed letter ‘M’ that his brother had carved into your skin. You bit your lip, pushing back memories of those awful encounters with Malgorm. 

“I hate the gods for letting this happen.” Eris muttered angrily, staring at the scar as if enough willpower could wash it away. “I am so sorry–”

You took a step forward, pressing your fingers against his lips to shush him. “What’s done is done,” You murmured. “We cannot change the past. We can find a way to permanently glamour the scar, as I do not wish for it to be on my body any more than you wish to gaze upon it, my love. Let’s not worry about it for now, okay?”

A slender hand on your shoulder made you turn to face Nesta. She had removed her crown and dress as well, leaving her just as naked as you. But her face was serious, breaking the teasing tension of the room as she spoke. “Are you sure this is okay? After everything that has happened, we don’t have to do this right away. We can wait.”

You shook your head. “No,” You said firmly. “I want this. I want you both. If I was unsure I would have said so. I trust you.”

Nesta’s voice was soft. “Okay. But is there anything off limits that might cause you to become… discomforted?”

You thought for a moment, hating the memories that flashed through your mind. But you endured it. Nesta was right – before anything happened, boundaries needed to be stated. “My neck…” You said slowly, remembering how hard Malgorm had grabbed you. “I don’t want pressure on my neck, please.”

Nesta nodded with understanding. You turned around to face Eris, whose gaze had softened. “I can work with that.” He said gently.

“What about you, Nesta?” You asked, facing your female mate once again. “What’s off limits for you?”

At first, the female visibly tensed, as if fighting off the urge to put those walls back up that she had so firmly in place when you first met her. Getting Nesta to be vulnerable with sex would be a journey, that much you knew. After how she described her couplings with Cassian and other males, this discussion of limits seemed new to her. She blinked slowly, and you could see the wheels in her mind turning. 

“Take your time,” you said softly, grabbing Eris’s hand and squeezing it reassuringly.

“My head…” Nesta said quietly after a moment, her eyes slightly glazed over as if reliving memories. “I would appreciate it if my head was not held down or restricted.”

Immediately, your mind thought of all the instances that explained this. The kelpie, the Cauldron, the human male who assaulted her, it all made sense. You nodded, then faced Eris once again to take the pressure off of Nesta. “And what about you, husband? Anything off limits?”

Eris scoffed half heartedly. “Nope. I am content with anything.”

You elbowed him lightly in the stomach, rolling your eyes. “You’re not funny. We’re trying to have a discussion here and you ruined it.”

The male made a noise of agreement, his eyes sobering up for a second before he sighed, removing the crown from his head and moving his fingers to unlace his robes. Nesta came up to stand beside you, her hand sliding into yours but her eyes fixed on Eris. Both of you stared as the male removed his robes and unlaced his tunic. You felt Nesta’s breath catch as Eris’s bare torso was revealed. Slender muscles were covered in faint scars. They looked to be from some sort of burning lashes – Beron’s doing, no doubt. Bile rose in your throat at the sight before you, at the thought of how bad these injuries must have been to still be scarred centuries later.

“My father liked to use his own fire on me,” Eris said slowly. “The wounds from the beatings disappeared fast, but my…. harsher punishments involved fire. I think in a way, he wanted me to fear our fire. But like many things in life, he failed.” He let out a hoarse laugh. “For this reason, I do not wish for pain to be inflicted upon me during sex. While I will inflict it if it’s something you want, I am firmly against being on the receiving end of it.”

“I understand.” You said, and Nesta murmured in agreement. Even with the scars, your body still heated up at the sight of Eris shirtless. They marked his skin like stars in the night sky, glowing in the candlelight. He was strikingly beautiful, every inch of him. From the way Nesta’s breathing changed beside you, he was having the same effect on her, too.

Finally, the arrogant smirk returned to Eris’s face. “Excellent, now that we are all in agreement…” His amber gaze fell upon you, making your knees weak as he spoke with lethal command, “Get on the bed.”

You rolled your eyes at him, but obliged, giving Nesta a quick kiss on the cheek on your way over. The mattress was soft and plushy as you sank down onto it, and you briefly wondered if you even wanted to know how much it had cost. 

All distracting thoughts vanished from your head as Nesta strode over, prowling like a dragon approaching a lost sheep. The silver light from the moon and the golden light from the candles illuminated her soft curves in an otherworldly way, the coronet now evolved into a simple loose, messy braid coming over her shoulder. She smirked as you leaned up to kiss her from your sitting position. Before your lips could reach hers, she chuckled and abruptly pushed you back so you were laying down. The yelp you let out as you unexpectedly fell back was cut off by a kiss, her mouth swallowing any noise you made as you melted beneath her. The rich scent of your combined arousals flooded the room, filling your senses.

Nesta’s thighs straddled you as she pressed her body into yours, her creamy skin brushing against you and making your nerves go haywire as she shifted her mouth to your throat, planting gentle kisses there before sliding further down your body. You reached down to try and pull her back up so you could touch her, but two silver flames appeared around your wrists, gently guiding them up over your head and twining into the bedframe, leaving your hands tied. You whimpered in complaint, causing Nesta to stop her kisses just above your breast. 

“I’m sorry, did you want to touch me?” She asked huskily, eyes dark. Her lips moved just above your nipple, her breath sending the bud into a peak.

“Yes.” You said breathily, trying to keep the desperate tone out of your voice.

Nesta gave your nipple a quick lick, causing your entire body to twitch before she continued. “Too bad, you have to earn it.”

“And how do I do that?” You snapped in frustration, unable to stop yourself. 

As quick as a snake, Nesta reached under your thigh and hoisted your hips off the mattress. With her other hand, she reached underneath and slapped your ass. Hard. Instinctively, you moaned loudly, pain and pleasure coursing through your body and creating even more wetness between your legs. Through half-open eyes, you saw Nesta blink in surprise then smile wickedly. She turned to Eris, who had discarded his bottoms and was palming himself through his underwear. A silent conversation passed between them, and you shivered with anticipation before Nesta turned back towards you. “Lose the attitude, love,” she said.

You huffed, but tried to force the attitude out of your voice. “Boring. What do I have to do to earn it?”

“You’ll have to beg us to let you cum, and you’ll ask permission to do so.”

“I don’t beg.”

“Oh but you will,” Eris chimed in, gently gliding his fingers down Nesta’s spine as she took your nipple in her mouth, causing you to moan. “And you’ll love every second of it.”

You couldn’t deny that. All you could focus on was Nesta’s mouth on you, her other hand fondling the other breast. All the squirming in the world was useless against those silver flame restraints, which was unyielding. Finally, Nesta shuffled down so she was kneeling on the ground with her upper body between your thighs. Involuntarily, your legs automatically widened as she settled in, which did not go unnoticed.

“Wow, you are desperate for me, aren’t you?” Nesta teased, running a finger up your inner thigh. “The lightest of touches have you soaked through your underwear, I can’t imagine how you’ll react when I get my mouth on you.”

You whimpered at her words that washed over you like warm water. You had never been this wet, this aching to be touched. Nesta was smug as her finger ghosted over your clothed slit, feeling the wetness of the thin material. Your hips jolted at the sensation, electric shock wracking your nerves. 

Your mates were going to be the death of you. Every instinct screamed to find a way out of the restraints and pounce on Nesta and Eris, but your desire to please them overpowered it.

“My, my, she’s sensitive,” Eris mocked. “I don’t think she’ll be able to handle what we’ve got planned.”

“She will,” Nesta said sternly before glancing up at you. “Won’t you?”

You nodded in blind agreement, the anticipation of not knowing what was coming next both exciting and terrifying you. “Good girl,” Nesta replied before grabbing your panties and tearing them in two, revealing your soaking wet pussy. She moaned at the sight of your exposed core, making you pool even further. Every sound she made, every look she gave you was enough to drive you crazy. Your thighs were near trembling as she lightly touched your clit, the contact with the sensitive bundle of nerves making you jump and your thighs twitch.

“Look how wet she is,” Eris said. “And we haven’t even done anything…”

Your eyes snapped open fully when you realised he had removed his underwear and was stroking his cock. Your mouth practically watered at the sight of the male with his hand wrapped around his long cock, a smug expression on his face as he stared down at you like you were a piece of meat served up on a platter. “See something you like?” He said arrogantly as he noted your expression.

“Mother above, do I ever,” You replied breathlessly. “My brain doesn’t even know where to focus.”

Nesta said, “I think I can remedy that.” Without another word, the female’s head dove between your thighs, her tongue sliding up from your entrance to your clit before wrapping her lips around the bud and sucking. Bursting with pleasure, your back arched off the bed, hands angrily pulling against the restraints begging to touch Nesta. She repeated the pattern, licking and sucking in all the right spots and making your eyes roll back in your head. 

Cursing under your breath, you let out moans as Nesta ate you out. Her hands were wrapped around your thighs, burying herself as far into you as she could. You could feel her enjoyment and desire through the mating bond, which intensified the experience tenfold. Never before had you been this turned on this fast. Nesta had already figured out what made your body sing and was playing it like a violin. Eris was kneeling behind Nesta, pressing kisses all over her back. The sight of it turned you on even more.

You could pinpoint the exact moment Eris’s fingers found Nesta’s pussy. The female let out a moan that sent vibrations into your core, making your moan echo off of hers. The room was filled with the wet sounds of Nesta’s mouth on you and Eris’s fingers rubbing Nesta’s clit. Her face was screwed up with pleasure and a focused determination, her tongue never relenting against you.

“Isn’t she making you feel so good?” Eris asked you. “Nesta seems like she’s already doing very good with her mouth, I can’t wait to test it out myself.”

“So fucking good…” You murmured, causing Nesta to moan in approval between your legs.

The sounds between Nesta’s thighs intensified as Eris slipped a finger into her, curling it in a way that had her squirming in between you two. “Do you know how many nights I’ve had to get myself off to refrain from storming into your rooms and dragging both of you into my bed to be fucked senseless? I’ve had so many fantasies about what I want to do to you two, even with an eternity ahead of us I don’t know if we’ll have time to complete them all…” The male continued, cocking his head and pushing his hips forward, letting his cock rub against Nesta’s ass. “Is this everything you dreamed of, my love, hmm?”

“Yes!” You exclaimed, hands gripping onto the headboard as you writhed underneath Nesta’s mouth. The pleasure was almost overwhelming, coupled with the sight of Eris behind Nesta’s kneeling form with his knuckles buried inside her, you felt yourself approaching the journey to your climax within ten minutes, a new record for you.​ Your mate between your legs whimpered as Eris’s movements seemingly sped up, but she kept her blue-grey eyes open and looking up at you. Incoherent noises escaped your throat as you began to plead. “Please…” you begged. “I’m getting close…”

“Close to what?” Eris asked mockingly, his voice perfectly even as if he wasn’t curling his fingers inside Nesta so tactfully that she was shaking slightly. “You have to use your words, my love.”

You felt your orgasm building at a rapid pace, coming crashing towards you like a tidal wave. “Please… I’m gonna–” Your words were abruptly cut off as you were unable to hold back the inevitable. Like water overflowing a cup, your orgasm washed over you, spreading that warm electric sensation through your nerve endings. Nesta groaned with pleasure as your hips bucked against her face, grinding into it as you rode out your high. The world went silent around you in those few, stretched out seconds. It was an orgasm unlike any you had ever experienced.

With shaking legs you caught your breath and Nesta finally removed her tongue from your cunt. You watched through hooded lids as she leaned her head back, and Eris bent down and kissed her hungrily, lapping up your juices. One of his hands grabbed her breast, squeezing it in his fingers and making her moan into his mouth. They were like two gods in a painting before you, one you would happily stare at for the rest of your life.

The silver flames around your wrists vanished, and you eagerly brought your arms back down to stretch them out. When Nesta and Eris eventually separated, they turned their gazes towards you. And you knew you were fucked from the wicked look in their eyes.

“I’m sorry–” You began apologising, but Eris cut you off.

“We asked you to do one thing, and you couldn’t even do it…” He said with gleeful disappointment. “A shame, I had such a lovely reward in mind for you if you had just been a good girl.”

Nesta scoffed. “I think she wanted the punishment.”

“She will regret that very soon.” Eris stood up and strode over to your side of the bed, grabbing a fistful of your hair and forcing you to look up at him. “Did we say you could cum?”

You shook your head, earning you another harsh tug that elicited a moan. “I asked you a question,” Eris hissed. “Did we say you could cum?”

“No…” You stuttered weakly, shrinking beneath his and Nesta’s gazes.

“Then why did you?”

“It felt too good, I couldn’t stop it.”

“Do you think flattery will keep you from punishment?”

You sheepishly shrugged. “A girl can dream, right?”

Eris barked out a laugh, grabbing you gently by the hands and guiding you off the bed. Your legs still felt weak, and had it not been for Eris you would have surely stumbled in your first few steps. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Nesta smugly smirking at her handiwork, her cheeks flushed. 

But Eris’s hand grasped your chin, turning your focus to him as you met his gaze. “Go to the empty space on the wall,” He said slowly. “And place your hands on it and spread your legs.”

You baulked, eyes widening. The evil grin on his face sent chills up your spine. Despite your recent orgasm, your body began to heat up again. Knowing better than to protest this time, you did as you were told. The sound of your footsteps echoed throughout the large bedroom as you walked over to the gap in the wall between the fireplace and the corner area. Taking a deep breath, you faced the wall and placed your hands on the smooth wood. It was cold beneath your touch, a soothing sensation against your sweating palms. You mentally cursed your body at how quickly it was recovering and ready for a second round. The mating bond was thick with desire so palpable you could feel it.

You heard footsteps coming up behind you, and you knew without looking that it was Eris. His presence could be felt creeping up on you as if it were your own shadow. You flinched as he put his hands on your waist, pressing his chest into your back. His cock rubbed against your ass as it did with Nesta’s, causing you to suck in a sharp breath. “If you want something, you have to ask for it,” Eris murmured in your ear. “Those are my rules, and you have already broken them. I am going to spank you ten times, and you’re going to fucking take it. Am I clear?”

“Yes, Eris.” You whimpered. Behind you, his cock twitched at the moaning of his name and the male groaned. 

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Nesta take a seat in the nearby chair with a glass of white wine in hand. She had run a comb through her hair, and when she caught your gaze she raised an eyebrow. “Don’t look at me for help,” she chided. “You’ve done this to yourself. I will not get you out of this.”

You sighed, trembling in anticipation and waiting with bated breath for the first strike. Wasting no time, it came seconds later. Eris’s hand came down on your right ass cheek, hard. From your throat came a guttural cry, one you didn’t know you were capable of making. It was a cross between a scream and a moan, crossing into the latter as the impact from the initial sting melted into a white hot pleasure. You barely had time to recover before the second one came on the other cheek this time, drawing out the same response.

“Good girl…” Eris murmured, rubbing your ass and pressing a kiss between your shoulder blades. You sighed beneath his touch, melting into it. 

But the tenderness didn’t last long. By the seventh spank, tears pricked the corners of your eyes. 

“Aw, look at her, Eris,” Nesta spoke up. “You’ve made her cry.”

Your laboured breaths drowned out his response as you pressed your forehead into your arms, which you had valiantly kept pressed against the wall. Your ass stung and sweat dripped down your forehead. But the cherry on top was your dripping cunt. Wetness had seeped down your thighs, glistening in the candlelight of the room on display for everyone to see.

You felt Eris’s hand brush some stray hairs out of your face, and he leaned in close to murmur into your ear, “Are you okay?”

“Mhm,” You whispered, nodding feverishly. 

There was no teasing in your mate’s voice as he spoke. “Do we need to stop?”

“No,” You insisted. “I can handle three more, I promise.”

You felt Eris nod against you before pulling away and continuing to rub your ass, which already donned the formations of several dark bruises. You turned your head towards Nesta, who was watching the scene with lust in her eyes. “You’re doing so well, my love,” she said tenderly. “You can do it.”

With a newfound determination, you forced your body to relax as Eris’s hand came down again with a loud smack, making you wince and grow wetter at the same time. Then again, and again. Finally, after the tenth smack, you collapsed your head into your arms again, panting. Your legs felt as weak as a newborn deer, gangly and unstable. You didn’t even have the energy to react as Eris swiped his fingers through your slip, sampling the wetness gathered there. 

He chuckled darkly. “My, my, somebody sure enjoyed that.”

“I’m not surprised, given her reaction to my one slap earlier.” Nesta said, placing her wine glass on the table next to her before standing up and making her way over to where you and Eris were standing. She wiped some sweat from your brow with a cloth and pressed a kiss to your forehead. “Well done.”

“Is my punishment over?” You asked weakly.

“Not quite,” Eris responded, gently guiding you over to the chair Nesta had been seated in. “You’ve demonstrated a lack of patience, which is unacceptable. So you are going to learn to be patient, and you are going to sit here and watch me fuck Nesta.”

“And you’re not allowed to touch yourself,” Nesta added sternly as Eris pushed you into the chair, which was now turned to face the bed and had a glass of water next to it. Truthfully, your body was relieved at the idea of getting a break. Your muscles ached from the trembling, and the idea of watching your mates fuck each other made your body heat up. So you nodded, getting a kiss on the cheek from each of your mates before they made their way to the bed. After taking a sip of the ice cold water, you leaned back in the plushy chair.

Nesta knelt on the bed, her long locks cascading down her back as she looked up at Eris. He stood before her at the edge of the bed like an altar she was worshipping, his lean muscles illuminated by the moon. He bent down and kissed Nesta as if she contained the last molecules of air left in this universe, his lips moulding into hers perfectly. You couldn’t help but bite your lip as you watched her shoulders relax as she melted into his kiss. Desire began to build in you once again, just by watching your mates share a heated kiss.

With a shove on the shoulder, Eris pushed Nesta into the bed so she was laying down. He wasted no time crawling over her body and pressing heated kisses across her chest. As his mouth came to her nipple, Nesta moaned and wound a hand in the male’s red locks, arching her back into his touch. Your palms itched with the urge to go over there and help, but the soreness of your ass reminded you to stay in your seat. 

“Fuck, these are gorgeous…” Eris murmured before switching to her other breast. He groaned into the mound of flesh as Nesta’s grip in his hair tightened, the animalistic sound echoing throughout the chamber.

Don’t touch yourself, you reminded yourself. No matter how hot the scene before you was, and despite the fact you normally loved being punished, you knew your mates were the type to only be so forgiving.

Grabbing one of Nesta’s long legs, Eris placed a kiss on the inside of her calf, working his way down. Nesta’s breathing shifted, her hips squirming to try and meet his face, but the male swerved every time and kissed her thigh instead. More arousal pooled between your legs as you watched Nesta squirm beneath Eris.

“Please, Eris…” Nesta breathed, her cheeks red and eyes half closed with desire.

The red haired male stopped, his lips centimetres above her pussy. “Please what?”

“Please use your mouth on me…”

Nesta’s pleas made you whimper. All you wanted to do was go over there and satisfy her, to have her clamp her thighs around your head until the world crumbled into ash before you. Eris turned his head to face you, where you were gripping the arms of the chair. “See how she asked nicely?” He said to you, “Now she’s going to get what she wants. It’s that simple.”

His pale fingers gripped Nesta’s hips tightly, pinning them down to the mattress as he brought his face between her legs and began his work. Immediately, Nesta let out a loud moan – she was much more vocal than you, letting her noises out shamelessly as she was pinned down. After several minutes, Eris easily slid two fingers into Nesta, stretching her out yet still keeping her hips still with only one hand. 

“Oh, fuck…” Nesta cried out as Eris curled his fingers inside her, one of her hands gripping the sheets while the other palmed her breast. Her eyes fluttered closed, and it was only minutes later when Eris pulled away. Nesta whined at the loss of contact, and he let out a growl, grabbing her leg and hitching it up against his waist. You watched with a slack jaw and clenched legs as Eris lined his cock up with Nesta’s entrance before slowly pushing it in. 

Nesta’s face contorted, her eyes squeezing shut and mouth opening in pleasure as Eris pushed himself to the hilt. His head tilted back, and his jaw clenched with pleasure. You dug your fingernails into the palms of your hand so hard it almost bled, the sensation of watching your mates’ blissed out expressions almost overpowering.

Eris leaned over Nesta, one hand on her thigh keeping it up against his hip while the other planted itself beside her shoulder. It only took a few minutes for him to pound in and out of Nesta, the sound of skin slapping against skin filling the room and drowning out Nesta’s moans. Eris was fucking Nesta hard, her toes visible curling with each thrust.

As Nesta’s legs began to tremble not ten minutes later, Eris slowed down his thrusts, making her whine. He turned his head towards you, a devilish grin on face. “So, my dear,” he said to you. “Do you think Nesta deserves to cum?”

Surprise flickered in you, and seemingly in Nesta too, for she turned her head sharply to look at you with wide eyes as Eris’s hand rubbed her clit. “P…please…” she begged you, desperation written all across your face.

You were torn in two. You wanted nothing more than to see Nesta cum, to watch her writhe underneath Eris as she rode out a blissful high. But the sinister part of you wanted to show her that you weren’t the only one who could take charge.

After a minute, you came to your decision. “No.”

“What?!” Nesta sputtered angrily as Eris pulled out of her, chuckling. Her hair was stuck to her face, her lips swollen from kissing and her cheeks red. Her grey eyes shot you a  furious glare.

“That’s my devilish little fox,” Eris purred, beckoning you over with a finger. “You took your punishment very well, and I think it’s time for a reward.”

“Please,” you begged pathetically as you laid down on the bed beside Nesta, desperate for any physical contact. 

Sensing that, Eris gave you a quick kiss before grabbing your hips and spreading your legs with his knees. You were so soaking wet that after checking your comfort with two fingers, Eris lined himself up with your entrance and slammed into you with ease. The breath was knocked out of your lungs at the impact, the delicious stinging pain of the stretch quickly melting into pleasure as it had with the spanks. He gave you no time to adjust before pounding into you, his soft grunts filling the air.

Beside you, Nesta sat up, a playful look in her eyes replacing the furious one. She grabbed your hair just as Eris had, forcing you to look at her. “Since you decided to be a brat and not let me finish after I was so nice to you, I’m going to sit on that pretty face of yours to shut you up and use you to finish myself off. Got it?”

About to burst with happiness that your plan worked, you nodded eagerly, shifting your shoulders to get more comfortable. Seeing the smugness on your face, Nesta rolled her eyes but released her hair, spinning her hips to face Eris. She then swung her leg over your face, leaning forward to place her hands on your breasts and play with them as she lowered herself down.

You moaned into her pussy, tasting the mixture of her and Eris on your tongue, eagerly lapping it up. You used the tip of your tongue to flick her clit, making her legs twitch around your head. Repeating patterns of licking and sucking, you gripped Nesta’s hips tightly as she grinded herself into your face.

Eris’s thrusts had somehow gotten more powerful, making you whimper into Nesta. Your wife let out a moan at the vibration, then Eris’s fingers found your clit. You were oversensitive, and as a result moaned repeatedly between Nesta’s thighs. Her legs began to shake around you, her hands squeezing your breasts as she panted, “Can I please cum?”

“Yes.” Eris grunted, his own thrusts getting sloppier as he chased his own release. Seconds later, Nesta moaned wantonly, her legs clenching your head and shaking like an earthquake as you sucked on her clit, drawing out her release. She cried out, her orgasm wracking her body as she grinded her hips into your face even more. You happily took it, whimpering as her moans spurred both you and Eris on towards your own release. 

As Nesta dragged her trembling self off of your body, she flopped down beside you. Her fingers quickly took Eris’s hand’s place at your clit, rubbing back and forth harshly. You nearly screamed at the sudden pressure, white hot pleasure pooling in your gut ready to burst.

“Come for me, my love,” Nesta purred in your ear.

That was all it took to send you over the edge. Your muscles clenched as your release shot through you, and you gasped with the sudden wave of pleasure. Nesta murmured praises in your ear as you rode your high, and Eris let out a growling moan as his hips sputtered, your clenching around his cock spurring on his orgasm. You cried out as his cum shot into you, the sensation almost overwhelming and prolonging your high. 

Finally, the ironclad grip on your hips released and Eris slowly pulled himself out of you. Your legs twitched, all three of you panting in an attempt to catch your breath. Deep down, you felt whole, as if the mating bond had somehow grown even stronger since before the wedding. It was as if a piece of you had been missing before you met Nesta and Eris, and they were slowly filling that void with pieces of their own.

“Does anyone fancy joining me for a shower? I’ll have someone deliver our favourite snacks afterwards,” Eris asked, standing up and holding his hands out for you and Nesta. Eagerly, you both took his extended hands and headed towards the newly built bathing room.

As the three of you stood under the multiple shower heads, tenderly washing each other when needed, you felt happy tears prick your eyes. The Nesta you met six months ago was a shell of herself, angry, with walls as high as Ramiel that refused to be crumbled by anyone. She was an object in another male’s court, a pawn in the games he played. An aggressive animal that was to be locked in a cage and only lured out when they had use for her. That Nesta never would have let anyone wash her hair, or cuddle beside her in bed. The Nesta standing beneath the shower with you was a changed female, one who knew her value and was now finally free to make her own choices without threats being made at every corner. She laughed freely, smiled more often, and the life had returned to her eyes.

Eris was a male who you never thought would tenderly kiss your forehead, or kneel before you to help you wash your legs. To be raised in an environment as harsh as Beron’s shadow, you knew how lucky you truly were that his heart stayed good. No matter how often he would deny it, you knew he was a good male.

And so all of the horrors you had faced in the last six months washed away with your happy tears in the shower, your wife and your husband beside you to hold you up no matter what.

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[metamagic-adept]

idris, holding on too tight

[ID: 11 screenshots of quotes or text. They read:

I did not like to be touched, but it was a strange dislike. I did not like to be touched because I craved it too much. I wanted to be held very tight so I would not break.

Sometimes being offered tenderness feels like the very proof that you’ve been ruined.

I’m hypnotized by this anomaly / Such strange uncharted territory / A white flag waves in the dark between my head and my heart / My armor falls apart / As if I could let myself be seen, even deeply known / Like I was already brave enough to let go

To have spent my life holding my hands in tightly hidden fists. To try to understand what it would mean, now, to hold them open. [highlighted] I have always felt ashamed at being witnessed in the act of wanting something I could not have.

“I don’t know what’s going to come out of me,” I told her. “It has to be perfect. It has to be irreproachable in every way.” // “Why?” she said. // “To make up for it,” I said. “To make up for the fact that it’s me.”

Everything I've ever let go of has claw marks on it.

time loop where i keep dying to save you but clearly the loop just wants me to accept your death. im not going to but i can tell that's what it wants

[unchecked box] remember that you can't save everyone // [checked box] Remember that you have to try.

I can do this, I thought. Then: And even if I can't, I have to.

Time solves most things. And what time can't solve, you have to solve yourself.

Ring the bells that can still ring / Forget your perfect offering / There is a crack, a crack in everything / That's how the light gets in.

End ID.]

quote sources: 1. Marya Hornbacher, Wasted 2. Ocean Vuong, On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous 3. "Five," Sleeping at Last 4. Jennifer S. Chang, So We Must Meet Apart; “August 24, 2018” 5. Suzanne Rivecca, ugly, bitter, and true 6. David Foster Wallace 7. tumblr user @ ayotofu 8. unknown 9. David Levithan, How They Met and Other Stories 10. Haruki Murakami, Dance Dance Dance 11. Leonard Cohen, "Anthem."

[couldtransitionsaveher]

XOLGA UTSUGI from XOLGA AND MR. TOKO

JUSTIFICATION:

"Okay I'm pretty sure none of y'all know this character but. Look at my bbygirl. Teddy bear babe. She is my queen. My goddess. My pathetic little meow meow with childhood trauma and daddy and mommy issues. I would kill for her. I would die for her. Anyway submitting this bc I love Xolga and I am down bad for him HARD (hes so fucking hot. He is literally the hottest out of EVERY Pacthesis character.) but I've been imagining him genderbent and. She won't get out of my head help. I think I've fallen in love with her. She's my wife now sorry and we're married (kinda joke bc she’s canonically aromantic) so yeah. She gets turned into a teddy bear but before that, she’s human and HAWT. Like Pacthesis/Amy did a poll and Xolga was most popular. They had to turn him into a teddybear to contain his husbando energy because he would be too powerful otherwise. Can you imagine if more people knew the games how many people would be fucking simping for this man. GOD SHE WOULD BE SO DAMN HOT AS A DETECTIVE WOMAN IN A SUIT. (I could also imagine him as a trans guy, he could go either way but. LADY XOL. Iove herr). Excuse my cringe, pathetic, corny ass simping but uhhhm. Girl Xolga. Grumpy lady who wishes to punch her problems away and escape from it all and is tired and done with shit 24/7. She has a gun, a fist, a dream, and a genki adoptive brother (Mr. Toko) who is a trained marksman. She goes through time loops. She met her past self. She’s a dimension-hopping dream babe. She fucked up her cousin’s hair. She worked as a store clerk on the planet Uranus. I want her hair and suit and her gender. I want to be her. She’s mine. Even her beauty aside, I genuinely think Xolga (and Mr. Toko) are probably some of the best-written of Amy’s non-simdate works characters. I wish there was more on their lore bc I wanna know more on Mr. Toko’s backstory with the organization, and stuff like that. But even if the second season is the end I think it’s already a very good and satisfying end as it is. Perfect end for them. But also I’d love more because I LOVE MY BOYS. And I’d love teddybearboy just as much if he were a girl, which if she were she’d be my soulmate, even just platonically." - Anonymous

Reminder: Submissions are always open! Submit here!

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[sophiethewitch1]

hey sophie! ive been listening to the www playlist a lot lately and was wondering if you could bust out ur playlist thesis? however much ur cool with sharing!! would love to hear your thoughts hehe. also, are there any bonus tracks we can listen to from the big og playlist?

i want you to know that for this entire post I was doing this

absolutely constantly. raving maniac mode. under the cut so i don't make everyone hate me for all the bullshit im about to spout and like some cough cough future hints. No actual spoilers but like... vibes and things that are obvious. Me telling you there will be yandere things in the yandere story, shock horror. These songs are the trailers/animatics in my head so uh. It's kind of hard to explain them without that (which is why I literally CAN NOT) for a couple of them lol. Oh!!!! And I've also got some other songs that really should've made the playlist but I just didn't add for some reason. Laziness or whatever. One's literally called birthday party. I uh. Don't think I need to explain that one.

But also I just like, whatever who cares if some of the songs on there aren't ones I 100% associate w what we want so here's the full playlist live your dreams. Most of them I associate at least a moderate bit. BUt under here is the fucking essay I've somehow written lmao I lost my mind somewhere along the way.

WHAT YOU GONNA DO??? By Bastille and Graham Coxon is first on the playlist for a reason. It's sort of like, similar to the rocking feeling of what being cramped on the subway was like to me? And it's a song that's pretty obvious with the lyric comparisons. The 'you' in the title IS you! What are you gonna do? You have us (Gotham, the world, the batfam) listening, so what are you gonna do with it? And it matches readers future response quite well I think. And it feels like something that a superhero would have in the background, which certainly helps.

Keep You Mine by NOTD and Shy Martin was actually just one of those songs you were listening to on loop at the time you were doing a thing, and then became intrinsically linked to that thing, but it still represent WWW quite well! It matches more so the later acts of the story, where you and the boys will have some issues staying together with eachother. But it's still poppy and romantic in tone!! Because you guys and your relationship, despite everything that'll happen, you want to keep each other y'know? And reader's like possessive and jealous in a cutesy way to offset how absolutely psycho bonkers the guys will end up being... But I also feel this too matches the superhero vibes? Somehow? The fight on of it... You must keep fighting, for each other!

Tinfoil Hat by Dolo Tonight is like,,, about the frustration of being a Gotham resident I suppose (or anyone living in late stage capitalism with a mental illness) but especially you! Since you totally fucking got ripped from one universe to another and um, i don't know if you've noticed this yet but... there seems to be some issues with readers idols??? Seeing as you love the waynes but hate the bats. Please duck under the comically large chekov's gun and come this way. Also because reader for a little bit does geniunely think she's crazy and need to go to the psychiatrist but obviously thinks that is the worst idea ever because the gotham mental health system is really just prison. and it's a prison with her nemesis. not the place to be.

Live, Learn, Die by Lavin is pretty obvious too, but in a much sadder tone. Reader as a character has at this point come to a conclusion that I'm sure many of us do in their lifetime (I know I have at least) which is that... things suck, and then you die. She doesn't want to die, but she doesn't really particularly actually want to live, she's just so damn focused on survival she's never actually even had the time to realise that. This other version of her who didn't have 24/7 adrenaline running in her body was obviously significantly worse off and seemed... off. If everyone you love is dead, is surviving for them even worth it anymore? She's still learning, so maybe she'll learn something different this time...?

Next song is a spoiler so skipping it <3! Lmfao interpret this however you'd like

Thelma + Louise By Bastille is a song about a scene that I am so damn eager to get to which unfortunately is in act fucking 3 which is my favourite but like. Suffering I am suffering :) Anyways I can't tell you too much about it because of but I will say that it's a road trip between you, Dick and Jason! It's very fun and absolutely no complex feelings are involved whatsoever. You meet Lucy the giant elephant (actual roadside attraction in new jersey lmfao). This song is Dick Grayson coded in like... mostly sunny vibes. Like the warmth the song gives, that's how you make him feel.

Temper Temper by LimeCordiale is a song that is about... you and Jason... and his poor poor habit of enabling you. 'Me and my girlfriend that I let do whatever she wants to me because shes hot' core. Bruce sees the two of you in the landing and gets immediate d10 psychic damage it's impressive. Anyways if anyone ever angers you (which I'm sure they never ever ever will :)) he's probably going to be there to back you up, because 'you know that that's what I like'. That video of you punching George is private time material frankly.

Next song is ALSO a spoiler which um. cough. 😳 let's not look too deep at this one actually folks

Werewolf By Quinn XCII. Ah yes, the yan in the yandere story. This one is ALSO about Jason but this is the most Jason coded song. I will say that this also features in the story at some point (you, Molly, Dick, Jason and some very poor suffering grunts). It's the lyrics. I've always said Jason is a loyal dog and I stand by it till the day I die. He also feels like a feral animal that constantly kind of wants to swallow you whole which is romantic I think <3 <4 But geniunely put that thing on a leash for the betterment of mankind. I mean you make them all feel like starving monsters Jason's the only one who has any self awareness unfortunately, which is why this is HIS song. Also because he'd be a werewolf, case close your honour. Dick'd be a vampire it's LITERALLY canon. WHat was I talking about

Ghosts by The 1975 got on here because I heard the first line and went 'hA!' because it really do just be 'You... You always seem to get what you want.' and also the "You seem to get better" is fuckin. IT'S SO GOOD MAN! That's EXACTLY what the guys are thinking when the next few chapters start coming around which. Really were supposed to be out by now whoopsie but yknow like. Anyways you ARE gonna start working on things!!! You're gonna talk to Molly!! You're gonna get more flowers!!!!! God damn it, you're gonna get what you want!!!!!!!!!!!!! (at least this first bit oop)

Next two are spoilers again, but this time you absolutely won't be able to guess because they're both animatic inside my own brain so take that! And I mean you REALLY won't be able to guess they're great scenes can't wait for you to see em. I can't wait either tbh why am I writing these stupid filler scenes lmao. why can't i skip to the end of my 200k enemies to lovers slowburn just to write the final chapter (did this to herself)

Together We're Screwed By Robotaki and Nevve is a song I've loved for ageeessssss bro because there is (to me at least) nothing more romantic than being a terrible horrible unredeemable person with the one you love. Hand in unlovable hand baby! That's like... the fic I guess, together the five of you are screwed. And it just matches that same earlier mentioned vibe of like... poppy kinda techno-y kinda superhero-y kinda loser-y. Listen to me, listen to me... This fic is about many things and I'll say it again and again and everytime it's true in a different way and this time it's true in this way. This fic is about being about being a loser and bad at everything and still managing to get what you want. Actually that might be what this fic is actually actually centrally about. 'We're both a mess, we just can't get it right. Together we're screwed. I'm looking at you, I'm looking at you~' like, be a mess!

And now we're at the exciting new

Birthday Party by AJR is like the equivalent of what would be a canon event for this au. Your birthday HAS to happen and it HAS to suck ass and all your family HAS to die on this day for some reason or another.. Some people told me when they had their birthday they thought of my fic and I was like damn bro who hurt you? /jk but really reader's birthday is kind of a reflection of... you know, everyone has at least one of those sucky as birthdays. And you've gotta paste on a brave face and pretend you don't want to cry and that it's all not too much and that for some reason you're disappointed and that the trudging march of time scares the shit out of you and that you haven't achieved anything this year and- You know? 'And that's just how it is.'

Okay I've run out of videos I can add but there are only two songs left so!! Ima finish this anyways.

Inertia by AJR is a song where again the lyrics speak for itself. Before you woke up in a slightly different world where everything was just slightly different, your life was stagnant. You were stuck, absolutely. Despite trying to break out of poverty, out of your circumstances, fortune simply wouldn't smile on you. And again, that other you seemed to reflect that stagnancy. She wasn't going anywhere either. In my head I see the two of you dancing like marionettes alone on your stages alone, unable to fight against the strings pulling at you. It's only till you start dancing with eachother, till the strings start tangling that you start getting any freedom. That you're able to start getting anywhere. Maybe being set off course was the best thing that could happen to both of you?

Something Just Like This by The Chainsmokers and Coldplay is a song that both me and my mum love, and also one very fitting to the superhero theme! And it's how ALL the guys feel about you!! You're really just a civilian, you're not that important in the grand scheme of things... But why do you like them? It's for such stupid reasons. It's because of the way Damian reads romance novels and Jason never properly tapes his nuckles and Dick has a stupid bleeding heart so he keeps taking too many hours at the Bludhaven pet rescue and Tim always fucking sends you the new york wordle, connections, crossword and spelling bee first thing in the morning and then asks if you want any help when he knows you want to do it on your own and- Every single moment of you is done with such love and sincerity and heart and they can't help but fall in love again and again and again. 'I want something just like this' is a phrase they'll say to you and you'll say to them too.

[hiddleswiftt]

request from @daydreamerwithnohobbies!: I love this!! Idk if you're tired already of doing taylor inspired jonah fics but I thought of maybe a ff with daylight or call it what you want?

hey!! yes! id love to do another taylor inspired jonah fic! i love both of those songs but I think i have more ideas for “daylight” than “call it what you want”!

if i ever have any ideas for a “call it what you want” jonah fic, i will make sure to write one and post it! :)

daylight! (inspired by the taylor swift song “daylight”!)

jonah hauer-king x fem reader!

description - you and jonah have been best friends for years. you’ve both have had crushes on each other for years. the list goes on and on! you don’t believe much in love as much as you used to, although fighting the thoughts of you still crushing on jonah in your head.

you sat on the couch of the party venue attempting to put your shoes on.

you were a little tipsy but you were well enough to get yourself though the door on the way out without walking into the doorframe.

jonah was with you, and he said he’d get you home.

he wasn’t drunk. he was actually pretty sober. which you thought was a little odd for him, but anyways.

you both got to his car, he helped you walk, holding his hand around your waist you guide you. you liked his company. you kept him close to you, although not knowing half of what was happening, so you just went with it.

the two of you got in the car, and you went straight for the radio and started playing different songs. “can i?” you said, with a slight slur.

jonah laughed slightly, giving you his phone to choose the tracks that you wanted to play, “knock yourself out, y/n!” he said, now starting to drive.

you of course put taylor swift on. you had been a taylor swift fan for years, and jonah knows it. you’ve got him into her songs a little too!

not all of them. he pretends to know them, so he just mumbles or hums along to them. but he knows a few!

you put on “daylight”! you both recognise the song straight away. he knows your favourite album is lover, since you play the album 24/7 when you two are together.

although slightly drunk, you hit all the lyrics, since you have this song on loop.

you and jonah do a duet sort of thing to the song:

Y/N: and I can still see it all…

JONAH: in my mind!

Y/N: all of you..

JONAH: all of me!

BOTH: intertwined!

Y/N: i once believed love would be…

JONAH: black and white!!

Y/N: but it’s golden…

JONAH: GOLDEN!

Y/N: i can still see it all…

JONAH: in my head!

Y/N: back and forth from New York!

BOTH: sneaking in your bed!!

jonah glances at you slightly as you continue to sing to the lyrics. he really does love you. you don’t think he does. you are fighting the fact that you love him, you think he’s just your best friend. right?

you continue singing:

“come on jonah!” you say, just before you sing the next line of the song, actually realising that jonah was looking at you for a second, it made you blush hard.

Y/N: i once believed love would be…

JONAH: burning red!!

Y/N: but it’s..

BOTH: GOLDEN!

you two finally pull up outside your apartment block, upset that the drive had come to an end.

“you need any help getting in?” jonah asks you, while the last part of daylight is playing.

you shake your head, “no.. i think im okay, thank you..” you say, admiring him.

the last part of ‘daylight’ continues to play. you both sit and look into each other’s eyes.

I don't wanna look at anything else now that I saw you

(I can never look away)

I don't wanna think of anything else now that I thought of you

(Things will never be the same)

I've been sleeping so long in a 20-year dark night

(Now I'm wide awake)

And now I see daylight (I see daylight), I only see daylight (Ah)

just as this part of the song ends, jonah already has his hands on your cheeks. now leaning in to embrace you in a kiss.

I only see daylight, daylight, daylight, daylight

I only see daylight, daylight, daylight, daylight

I only see daylight, daylight, daylight, daylight

I only see daylight, daylight, daylight, daylight

all of a sudden, lips were touching. it felt as if you both should’ve done this years ago. you’ve known each other for years!

pinkies and then hands were intwined together. as if they were supposed to fit together.

you both let go from the kiss, and smile at him, and indeed you were “burning red”. but it was “golden” between you two.

you looked up at him. “do you wanna come in?” you asked, as you held his hand in yours.

jonah smiled at you, admiring all your features as you were too. “yeah.. yeah! id love that..” he told you, now getting ready to exit his car, as you did as well.

you then take his hand in his, now walking towards your apartment block as jonah locks his car.

now you only see daylight, he was your daylight and you were his golden sun.

please don’t copy my work! <3

(let me know what you think of this fic by giving this post a like, follow and a comment!)

— h4uerkings

[pico-digital-studios]

Into, Across and Beyond! Scripting: Paying Taxes

(Based on this)

Sometime following Tails of Trials, OMT!Tails and OMT!Mina were just spending some time in the former's home, when Mr. Needlemouse came a-knocking.

Mr. Needlemouse: Tails!

OMT!Mina: Wha-?!

Mr. NM: My taxes are due today, and I have no idea how to do them!

OMT!Mina: Erm, okay?

Mr. NM: You gotta help me!

OMT!Tails: How do you know I'm not busy with my own?

Mr. NM: Cuz I know in da back of my thumb ya didn't do 'em last minute!

OMT!Tails: I mean, I had to wait 'til January 22nd before this year's 1099 forms all came in, but...

Mr. NM: Please, bub! Ya gotta help me! I'd be on my knees if MCStudio had the drawing skills for it!!!

OMT!Mina: *sigh* Alright.

OMT!Tails: I'm sure with my brains we can get this sorted out in no time!

They headed inside.

Mr. NM: (So boooring...)

He followed them in.

OMT!Tails: Okay, so, first order of business. How much did you make last year?

Mr. NM: Wait, I was supposed to be countin'?

OMT!Mina: Didn't you get a W2 from your employer?

Mr. NM: Employer...?

OMT!Mina: Well, what do you even do for a job?

Mr. NM: ... Does robbing Melody Hill Zone and framing Beeman for it 24/7 count as a job?

OMT!Tails: Like, stealing money slash rings regularly?

Mr. NM: Yep!

OMT!Mina: Who even makes it that easy to rob?

Mr. NM: Easy! I have a professional conman disguised as a lawyer freeing my bum every time!

OMT!Mina: Well, I doubt we'll be getting a 1099 from said lawyer.

OMT!Tails: It's okay, though! We can still fill out the 1040 using your own accounting.

Mr. NM: So I was supposed to be countin'!

OMT!Tails: You haven't been keeping track? NM...

Mr. NM: Okay, okay relax! I got 540 something in Emerald Hill... stole 250 from the local retirement home... stole 25 thousand worth of gold in Calteron... and stole some of Aureya's tech and sold 'em for 20 bucks!

OMT!Mina: I seriously doubt the IRS is gonna tolerate that.

Mr. NM: It was in three different dimensions! Whatever crimes I'm accountable for there, I'm not accountable for here!

OMT!Tails: Anyway! Let's talk business expenses. Do you even have those?

Mr. NM: Well... I did sell Beeman to the Dark Webz and passed him off as a rare species of bee. Does that count?

OMT!Mina: The dark web?!

OMT!Tails: Why did you go selling stuff on there?! And that's not even an expense!

Mr. NM: Well, where else can you sell someone? The other markets deemed it "illegal" for ridiculous reasons!

OMT!Tails: You can't put illegal purchases and selling on your federal tax return!

Mr. NM: Why not?

OMT!Mina: For Gaia's sake...

A few minutes later, everything was sorted out and the signature was put on the sheet.

Mr. NM: Phew! That took forever...

OMT!Tails: You're welcome.

Mr. NM: Now all I gotta do is put it in the mail, yeah?

OMT!Tails: Those were the federal taxes. The dimension taxes should take no more than 5 minutes to-.

Mr. NM: Actually, I think I'm good!

He started walking to the door.

OMT!Tails and OMT!Mina: Huh?!

Mr. NM: I've decided I'm not paying taxes!

OMT!Mina: Needle, you have to pay your taxes!

Mr. NM: Why? It's not like they do anything.

OMT!Tails: Star Light was literally built with the funding from taxpayer rings and coins.

Mr. NM: Yup. And they used the money to build loop-de-loops and floating platforms. Which, granted, cool as hell for me, but hell for the chumps that wasted their sweet time paying for 'em!

He prepared to leave through the front door.

OMT!Mina: I mean, he got a point there.

OMT!Tails: Still, if you don't pay your taxes, the IRS will come after you, Needlemouse!

Mr. NM: And I'm a living cartoon character! They can't catch me!

Cut to him now thrown in prison for planned tax evasion.

(AoSTH Robotnik sprite by Soap Surfin' and XtremeXavier)

Mr. NM: Oh, damn... Guess they caught me. (looking to his right) So what you in for?

AoSTH Robotnik: I placed a bunch of golden rrrrrrrrings on the ground, and they told me to send the proper 1099 forms to people who picked them up. I didn't just to be diabolical, and, well... I've been serving my time here since before Into the Sonic-verse.

Mr. NM: Call me Judge Doom, cuz you're getting the Dip!

AoSTH Robotnik: No, stop!

Mere seconds later, he was pulled from his jail cell after serving his time there.

IRS Member: Alright, you're free to return to your dimension.

AoSTH Robotnik: Anything to get away from that hedgehog, er... rabbit, erm... whatever that thing is! He's worse than Sonic, and that says a lot!

Dr. Beeman: You think that's bad? Try living in his world mindin' yer own business!

IRS Member: Well, the rabbit-hog's gonna be staying there for at least the next six months for planned tax evasion.

Mr. NM: Aw, really? I can get my lawyer to bust me outta-.

IRS Member: And you have charges of selling a half-human on the dark web, robbery, framing for said robbery, evading court through your properties, using a conman to get yourself out of jail, amongst too many other offences to list here. And if you don't pay the legal fees out of the money you stole, which will all go back to the places you stole them from, you'll be here for at least 70 more years.

Mr. NM: Oh, COME ON!!!!! >:(

(Confirmation from @mcgamejolter himself: Mr. Needlemouse preferred the 70 extra years in jail over being a decent person, but of course, they made him send back the stolen goods whether he wanted to or not. Him trying to evade his taxes was just the last straw that got him tossed behind bars.)

[drbased]

Nothing quite like reaching 30 and finally having a label to describe a condition that's plagued your entire existence for about 20 years, only to finally start to share that language with others and get the inevitable 'that only exists in the only existence you have, it's actually valid and you're totally normal so why even put a name to it'. Fuck you, if we can say someone has a sweet tooth, or a bad temper, then we can name other things.

For the record, I'm still stuck on whether or not the PDA is specifically evidence that I'm actually autistic, or rather it's something I induced in myself - because I've described on this blog before about my big mental awakening and rapid period of growth. I learned a lot about how I've been suppressing basically all parts of myself that are human, I've been suppressing all things I want to do, even on a micro scale, and finally embracing that and listening to myself has been such a tremendous journey, a moment-to-moment struggle to rebuild a relationship with my own selfhood that's ultimately worth it because I was living in literal hell before, and i've finally learned to truly love myself - and I also beat depression because of it, so...

But the PDA still persists. It's not as bad as it was, but I feel like I'm walking on a tightrope with my personality. I have to. keep. going. with listening to myself, negotiating with myself and doing what I want to do, moment to moment, and so far I've been able to utilise that in my hobbies - the final frontier is the job. Unless you've lived with that buzzing anxiety, that feeling of trapped-ness, that I used to experience 24/7, unless you have to live with the existential terror of getting really into something for like, a day, and the suddenly never wanting to touch it ever again as if it was someone else's interest this whole time, even though you know you would like the activity but it's almost as if there's a toddler in your head that just doesn't want to do things and you can't reason with them and it feels as if there's a huge disconnect between your conscious self and the rest of your self and you feel so fractured and terrified and you're desperate to know 'is this actually just who I am that would be OK in other circumstances, or is this a product of some sort of disorder, or is this is a trauma response to childhod abuse' and that loops around and around in your head for almost 20 years nonstop - yeah, you don't get to decide how I get to label my suffering, let alone 'lol' about it.

It's so fucking useful to have the short-hand. Someone lent me a book and I was able to say, knowing me there's a chance that purely because I've been lent a book and therefore there is a deadline and an obligation to return the book in good condition to a friend who might judge me, there's a strong likelihood that I will perhaps never read this book. I was able to SAY THAT. I can just do that, now! I can just say, this is how I am, instead of having all this bubble constantly under the surface turning me into a nervous wreck 24/7. I have a VOICE. That's IMPORTANT.

[literally-online]

Hello! Today marks the release of a new musical project I've been working on for the past month or so: Sleep Buddy! Ambient music to help you focus or just get some sleep.

Available now on Spotify and Apple Music!

You can read more about where the project came from below:

After dropping out of college, joining a band, moving in with the band, watching the band fall apart, and then subsequently finding myself with an increasing amount of pent-up musically creative energy, I decided I wanted to make something of my own.

I was also about five years deep into a stint of severe insomnia — from my first year of high school onward I generally only slept about an hour or two each night. After my friends would fall asleep and there was nobody left awake to play games with or text or talk to on the phone, I'd spend the quietest hours of my evenings teaching myself how to produce music.

The blend of these two issues manifested itself into a love of producing and listening to ambient music, and I set out with the goal of creating an album that would help me fall asleep each night. It was freeing to break away from the verse-chorus song structure I'd become so acclimated to, allowing myself to let long droning synths reverberate for hours into the night or searching for field recordings of windy plains or rainy farmhouses to see how I could incorporate the sounds of nature into my compositions. I'd write a song, load it onto my iPod, hop into my car, and cruise around empty New Jersey streets to hear how it worked as a soundtrack for the drive. In the span of about three weeks, I'd finished and released my first solo album under the artist name Boqeh: Halcyon.

Halcyon saw the beginning of a new habit: Almost every single day I'd open up my laptop and throw some nice sounding synths and chords together and let them loop endlessly while I worked on other tasks. Usually these project files would get deleted at the end of the day, but every once in a while they'd be saved and fleshed out into a full track for a hypothetical future album release. My next few ambient albums as Boqeh all followed that same songwriting process, but I eventually got more into the habit of deleting files than saving them. Slowly but surely, I stopped releasing music altogether as my career and other creative endeavors took center stage in my life.

Although I grew into the habit of deleting my daily project files, I never kicked the habit of starting a new one almost every morning. In 2018 while discussing the rise of ten-hour relaxation YouTube videos and 24/7 lofi hip-hop beats streams with a friend, I wondered aloud why I wasn't using the huge volume of music I was creating and disposing of daily to do something similar.

It's taken ten years since the release of Halcyon for me to feel confident enough to make it happen, but I'm finally done erasing the work I create.

Enter Sleep Buddy.

Sleep Buddy is both a new project and revitalization of the intention behind Halcyon — albums of carefully crafted and original ambient music with the goal of helping listeners fall asleep or relax while working on other tasks. Today marks the release of the first album: Intro.

Intro is a thesis statement. Available as a ten hour YouTube video (of course), on Bandcamp, or through your favorite streaming service like Apple Music or Spotify, it contains just under two hours of original ambient music covering a wide variety of ideas I plan on drilling further into for future releases. Almost the entirety of the album was written and produced over three weeks in January of this year, and in the time it has taken to distribute Intro to music platforms, I have already finished a followup for release sometime next month. If all goes well, expect a new Sleep Buddy release monthly in 2023.

In the meantime I hope you'll give this first album a listen, and if you do I hope it helps you relax.

You deserve it.

Head to sleepbuddy.online for more. <3

[justsomerandomfanfic]

Your Song - Eddie Munson x Female Reader - November 29th

Title: Your Song

Eddie Munson X Female Reader

Additional Characters: Robin, Nancy, Steve, Will, El, Max, Lucas (Mentioned), Erica, Mike (Mentioned), Luella (OC), Murray, Joyce (Mentioned), Hopper (Mentioned), Reader's mother, Steve's parents (Mentioned), Dustin, Mrs. Henderson (Mentioned), Mrs. Sinclair (Mentioned), Max's Mom (Mentioned), Eddie's Uncle (Mentioned), and Mr. and Mrs. Wheeler (Mentioned)

| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 |

WC: 3,895

Warnings: Reader has a mother, Reader wears a dress, Reader wears a veil and tiara, teasing, Eddie lives, insecure Eddie, slight angst, cuteness, and fluff

"I can't believe it. You're getting married." Robin sighed, as she, you, and Nancy walked down the sidewalk toward the small wedding dress shop. 

You sighed dreamingly, "I know. I can't believe it either. Only a couple more weeks." You replied, arms looped with Robin and Nancy's. 

"Are you excited?" Nancy asked, only for you to nod back.

"Of course, I'm marrying the love of my life."

"I can't even believe Steve's parents are paying for this," Robin said in disbelief.

Your family was great friends with Steve's parents. They were friends in high school and had always made sure you were doing alright, which surprised you since they hardly did that with Steve.

"Well, I think it's nice of them, you get to pick any dress you like," Nancy stated happily.

You hummed as Robin held the store's door open for you, "I don't want to take advantage of their generosity. I won't buy anything too expensive." You frowned slightly, “I wish they could’ve made it.”

Robin nodded, "Wise. But don't let it stop you from getting that dream dress."

"Of course. You know, my mother once said that when she looked in the mirror in her dress, she just knew." Nancy commented as the lady employee walked up to you.

She gave the three of you a smile before speaking, "Welcome to Brides Beauty, I'm Luella. Now, who's our lovely bride?" She asked, clasping her hands together in front of herself, eyeing the three of you expectedly.

"I am." You reply, waving slightly.

The lady smiled at you before gesturing her head forward and walking behind the counter, "This way please."

Nancy and Robin trailed after you as you followed the lady towards the dressing rooms, where the dresses were placed. Gesturing to a couch, she asked you to sit, before grabbing a small clipboard and pen.��

"Who's your company for today?" She asked, pointing to Robin and Nancy with the tip of her pen.

"My best friends, Robin and Nancy."

Luella nodded to the two, "It's nice to meet you, ladies. Alright, tell me about the wedding and I'll find you the perfect dress."

You fidgeted in your seat, "Well, we're having the ceremony in this small park near Cherry street, it's a black and white theme. My bouquet is made with white roses and black barlows. It's a rather simple wedding. Nothing too big, just my family, his uncle, and our friends. Less than thirty people in total, I think."

Luella smiled and jotted something down on the paper before speaking, "Now, who's the groom?" She asked, "Tell me about him, how did you meet?" She asked, as you smiled and leaned back against the couch slightly as you thought back.

"I've known him since the end of elementary school. I saw him sitting alone and asked if he wanted to be my friend. Later I sat with him at lunch and shared half my sandwich with him. And we've been together ever since." You explained as Luella smiled and wrote more on the sheet.

"Alright," She exclaimed, looking up at you, "I think I have the perfect dress for you." She spoke before leading you to the changing room.

You stood patiently as Luella as she looked through the many dresses on their hangers before grabbing one and passing it to you.

"If you need any help, just holler." She spoke, before gently pushing you into the changing room.

You held the dress out in front of you, hidden inside a plastic bag. You unzipped the bag, sliding it off the dress carefully. Pulling out the dress, you gasped softly. It was gorgeous. It was a perfect white, made out of satin. The sleeves were slightly puffed and the neckline wasn't too high or too low. Taking it off the hanger, you immediately tried it on. The dress fitted you perfectly. The skirt flowed around you gracefully, hugging your body tightly as the hem touched the floor. You twirled in front of the small mirror in the changing room, smiling to yourself. Stepping out of the small room, you gained Luella's attention.

When she saw you she squealed in delight. She grabbed two boxes from under the counter, handing them over to you. Opening it slowly, you pulled out the veil and a small tiara. Luella secured the veil before placing the small tiara down upon your head. Standing back, Luella sighed in delight as she admired her work.

"Perfect. Are you ready to show them?" She asked and you didn't hesitate and nodded.

Your heart pounding, you stepped out into the main room again, Robin's eyes widening as her jaw dropped, and Nancy gasping audibly as you entered.

"Y/N, you look amazing!" Robin gushed excitedly as she took in your appearance.

You blushed slightly and smiled softly, "Thank you, Robin."

"Incredibly beautiful. That dress is lovely." Nancy agreed as tears stung your eyes and your cheeks grew warm.

"Here," Luella interrupted, handing you a tissue, "Do you like it?" She asked as you dried your tears.

"I love it." You smiled sweetly, "How much is it?" You asked, turning to Luella.

"Well, the veil is free of charge, the crown is ten dollars and the dress is twenty-eight." She answered, making your heart plummet.

"Twenty-eight?" You asked and Luella nodded her head.

"That's right. Is that alright?" She asked as you looked at Robin and Nancy.

They stared back up at you, eyes bright as were the smiles on their faces. 

"Yes, that's more than alright." You replied. Yes, it was a lot of money, but Steve's parents were paying. They did tell you that you could spend as much as you wish. Excitement filled you again as your stomach fluttered with butterflies.

~~~

On the other side of town, Eddie, Steve, and Dustin were walking through a small clothing store. Eddie didn't have enough money for a suit, and when Steve told him his parents would pay for it, Eddie politely declined. He didn't want to use their money. He wanted to wear what he was comfortable wearing. You and Eddie had planned it years before he even proposed. You had told Eddie many times that you didn't really care what he wore to his wedding. It was his wedding after all. Eddie already had a good pair of black jeans that weren't ripped, he just needed a nice black button-up, and the rest he could wing. Dustin even said he'd let him borrow his bowtie. 

"We are looking for a black button-up right?" Dustin asked for the third time that hour, making Steve and Eddie roll their eyes.

"Yes, Henderson." They both answered simultaneously. 

"Okay, geez." Dustin mumbled, "I'll look over this way." He spoke before leaving.

Eddie bit his lip as he ruffled through the hung shirts on the bar, the metal squeaking as he pushed the metal hangers against it.

"What's wrong, man?" Steve asked, noticing Eddie's worried expression.

Eddie didn't say anything at first, his mouth opening and closing, then finally settling. "I'm scared, Steve. I'm worried she might back out... I mean, I wouldn't want to marry me either." He admitted, looking down to avoid eye contact with Steve.

Steve frowned, placing his hand on Eddie's shoulder, "Dude, do you really think she'd do that?" 

Eddie shook his head with a sigh, "No. But, I just don't see why she's marrying me." Eddie confessed. "I'm nothing special. And... She's perfect."

Steve chuckled, "Eddie..."

Eddie snapped his gaze toward Steve, "What? This isn't funny, Steve. I'm serious! What if she finds someone better? Then she might change her mind. If she does leave me..." 

Steve sighed, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "Dude, she's obsessed with you. And, you've been together for what? Ten years? You're perfect for each other. Don't worry about this, okay? Trust me. She'd never leave you for some other guy." Steve stated, before giving Eddie a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder.

Eddie smiled slightly before he found the plain black button-up.

~~~

"Are you sure everything is ready? Everything is perfect? Everyone's here, El was able to make it?" You asked rushed as Nancy fixed up your hair.

Robin nodded, "Yeah, El's here, same with Will, Jonathan, and Mrs. Byers. Even that Murray guy is here. The girls are getting ready with Mrs. Byers and Mrs. Henderson."

You let out a breath, brushing down your dress skirt, "Okay, good. They're ready, right? Do the dresses fit? How's Max feeling? Is she doing okay?" Your mind raced as you worried.

Nancy laughed lightly, "Calm down. Everything is fine. Relax." She reassured you.

You glanced up at her as you finished tying up your hair and smoothed down the skirt, "Thank you, Nancy, I appreciate your help. Both of your help. You guys are the best Maids of Honor ever."

She smiled, leaning forward and hugging you tightly, Robin coming over to do the same. 

"It's time," Robin said as she let go of you, adjusting her black suit lapels. "Are you ready?" She asked.

You smiled brightly, nodding, "Of course! I'm freaking getting married." You then looked to the door, biting your lip. "It's so tempting to see him." You mumbled, only for Nancy to shake her head.

"You remember what your mother said. She said that if you were going to marry anyone, you'd do that whole waiting to see each other."

You sighed, pouting slightly, "But I wanna see him. I bet he looks so handsome right now. So close, yet so far away."

"He's literally in the room across the hall. You’ll see him in an hour." Robin laughed, "Now, where are your flowers?"

~~~

"Dude, you look fine, stop messing around." Dustin scolded Eddie as the young groom fidgeted with the chain on his black jeans.

"Should I have the sleeves unzipped or zipped?" Eddie asked, biting his lip as he looked in the mirror in Steve's room.

"Unzipped." Both Dustin and Steve answered, "Do you have the rings?" Steve asked Dustin, who nodded.

Dustin reached into his pocket pulling out two small boxes. Opening them, Eddie let out a sigh of relief. The rings were the only thing that Steve insisted his parents also pay for. Eddie was thankful he had Steve, the rings were perfect. Simple, yet perfect. His ring was just a thick silver band. And yours, yours was a thin silver band with one diamond in the center and two smaller diamonds on either side. Eddie picked it out with the help of Robin. 

"Good, thank you, Henderson," Eddie said, "We should head out, right? It's almost three." Eddie spoke as Steve checked his watch, nodding.

"Yeah, we have to go now, so the ladies can go," Steve spoke, before opening his bedroom door slightly, and peeking out. "Alright, the coast is clear, let's go."

Eddie followed Steve and Dustin out until he paused. He stared at your door, hearing your voice muffled behind it. He swallowed thickly. He missed you so much. So, so much. He couldn't wait till he saw you. "Love you, Y/N!" He called out to you from the hall.

You immediately perked up, eyes widening as did your smile as you rushed to the door, "Love you too, Eddie!" You called back to him. 

Eddie smiled before he walked down the stairs, and went to the van, Steve, Dustin, Mike, and Lucas were already inside. Hopping into the driver's seat, Eddie started the van, pulled out of the driveway, and began his drive to the small park near Cherry street.

~~~

"Alright, they left, let's head out," Nancy spoke after she made sure the boys were gone.

Holding the skirt of your dress up, you walked down the stairs, walking out the door and to Nancy's car. Unable to contain the smile on your face, you bit your lip as Nancy started the car and began driving.

Upon their arrival, Robin helped you out of the car, your eyes quickly spotting the giant canopy. Inside, you knew Eddie was in there.

Max, El, Erica, and Will rushed up to you. Smiles on their faces as they awed over you.

"You look so pretty!" Max gushed, as El nodded.

"Like a princess." She added, their dresses, in a pale blue, matched each other.

"You look very beautiful, Y/N." Will complimented you, as Erica nudged him, her pastel yellow dress skirt swaying as she did so.

"You mean she’s everything." She corrected him, making him nod. “She’s everything.”

You smiled at the four, "Thank you, you guys. You all look amazing as well by the way. Love your tie, Will. Purple suits you. You have the rings right?" You asked, and the young teen nodded, pulling the two boxes out of his pocket.

"Good, you'll be the best ring bearer ever." You spoke, making Will straighten his shoulders and smile with pride.

"Well, let's go over this once more. Erica, you go down and toss the petals, then Will walks down, then it's me. Alright?" You double-checked and all four kids nodded. You smiled, "Good, thank you guys again. I'll make sure to buy you guys some ice cream after all this." You teased before your mother quickly approached you, dressed in a soft pink dress.

She quickly took you in her arms, sniffling. "My baby's all grown up." She whimpered happily, letting go of the hug.

"You look stunning, my darling," She complimented, making you smile. 

"Thank you, mom." You said gently, trying not to cry.

"Okay, don’t cry, don’t cry.” She muttered, mostly to herself than you. “Are you ready?" She asked, looping her arm with yours as she fixed your veil.

"More than."

Robin quickly turned on the speaker, making sure it was connected before she started the recording of the wedding march. Slowly, the canopy's curtains moved aside and you spotted Eddie from under your veil. He was standing there, waiting for you, his eyes wide and jaw dropped as your mother led you down the aisle towards the archway where he stood. As you neared him, Eddie slowly smiled, his eyes tearing up. You passed Robin your flowers before Eddie took your hands in his. You smiled up at him as you both stood at the arch, waiting for the ceremony to begin. You heard people whispering amongst themselves, though you didn't bother listening to what anyone was saying as they all sat back down. All you could focus on was Eddie, smiling proudly at you as he stared down at you.

"You look beautiful, babe." He whispered, making you blush as you giggled softly.

"Thank you, you don't look half bad either." You teased before Murray cleared his throat.

"Ladies, gentlemen, family, friends. We are gathered here today to celebrate the union between Eddie Munson and Y/N L/N." Murray announced, "Eddie, please state your vows."

Eddie smiled down at you before he reached into his pocket and grabbed a small piece of paper, unfolding it as he cleared his throat. "Y/N..." He began, and you smiled softly, noticing how nervous he was. "I am nothing short of in love with you. The moment I laid eyes upon you, I fell deeply in love. I still can't believe someone as sweet, smart, and incredibly beautiful as you would like someone like me. We've been through so much together, fights, demobats, and everything else. There's nothing I wouldn't give you. You make me want to be better, smarter, braver, and happier. Every day I want to wake up next to you and spend the rest of our lives with each other. I promise to cherish every moment that I get to spend with you. You're my everything, and I promise to always love and protect you." He smiled down at you, his brown eyes shimmering with tears. Taking another deep breath, Eddie continued. "I love you, Y/N, and I'll never stop loving you." He finished as you wiped away some of your tears.

Murray smiled before turning to you, "Y/N... Your vows."

You nodded, turning back to Nancy who passed you your paper. "Eddie... My Eddie Spaghetti." The small crowd laughed softly as Eddie blushed, "Ever since I saw you alone at recess, I knew you were going to be my best friend. No matter what happened, you always stuck around. Through thick and thin, even when you didn't agree with me. You never gave up on me, and never stopped believing in me. I will love you forever. I promise to stay by your side, always. I hope you know that I am grateful to call you mine. Mine to laugh and cry with. I love you with all my heart, Eddie." You sniffled, tears running down your cheeks and Eddie's. "And, by the way, you owe me a sandwich." You laughed wetly, Eddie and the guests doing the same.

Murray tried to hide his sniffles before he spoke, "Will, the rings?"

Will walked over, handing both you and Eddie each other's rings. Eddie placed your ring on your finger as you did the same for him.

"Now, Eddie Munson, do you take Y/N L/N to be your lawfully wedded wife?" Murray asked as Eddie nodded.

"I do," Eddie spoke with a soft smile.

"Y/N L/N... Do you take Eddie Munson to be your lawfully wedded husband?" Murray spoke again.

You looked up at Eddie, grinning widely as he returned your smile, "I do," You confirmed, your voice determined.

"With the power vested in me and the state of Indiana, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride." Murray grinned.

Eddie smiled, leaning forward, unveiling you as he held onto your chin, kissing you. You melted against his lips as you cupped his face. Everyone clapped and cheered, as Ed pulled away, his eyes still shining brightly. Your fingers played with the ends of his hair, as he leaned down once again, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. He pulled away once more, resting his forehead against yours. After a few moments, he finally pulled away completely.

"Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Munson!" Murray exclaimed, grinning as the couple chuckled.

A tear escaped your eye as you gazed up at Eddie in adoration and happiness. Eddie leaned down, capturing your lips once more, savoring your taste as he felt your hand cup the back of his head. Pulling away once more, Robin handed back your bouquet as Eddie grabbed your hand, walking down the aisle with you. You passed Hopper, a fond smile on his face as he clapped, Joyce beside him wiping her tears away. Jonathan beside her, smiled as he took pictures with his camera. Mrs. Henderson was balling as Mrs. Wheeler consoled her with more tissues as Mr. Wheeler clapped. On the other side, Eddie's uncle gave you and his nephew a thumbs up and smile. Max's mom was dabbing her tears away with a small admiring smile on her face as Mrs. Sinclair clapped. Lastly, your mother wiped her tears away with the back of her hand, before going back to cheering. 

Stopping at the canopy entrance, you looked back with a smirk as El, Max, Nancy, and Erica gathered waiting for you to throw your bouquet. Turning back around, you tossed your flowers back, looking back you watched as the flowers seemed to fall in slow motion as they landed right onto Joyce's lap. Surprised, she looked at the flowers in her lap, glancing at you, to Hopper, and back. Hopper cleared his throat, seemingly embarrassed.

"Yay, Joyce and dad are next!" She squealed, grabbing Max's arm with excitement.

Steve looked at you with a smirk of his own, only for you to shrug. You totally didn't plan to throw it to the side at all.

Quickly the chairs were moved and the tables were set, circling a small area for the dance floor. In the back corner of the canopy next to the table of refreshments and food, was the cake. It was a small two-tiered vanilla cake.

"I made the icing myself, so it's extra special," Nancy told you as she stood next to you.

"Thanks, Nance," You replied, "You made sure to have the flavors?" You asked her in a slight murmur. 

Nancy nodded, "Yep, chocolate, and strawberry."

You gave Nancy a fistbump before everyone sat around at the tables, you sitting with Eddie with your mother and Eddie's uncle. After a while of eating, Steve tapped his wine glass, gaining everyone's attention. 

"Friends and family. Thank you all for coming!" Steve began as they clapped and Dustin whooped. "I'm just going to start and say I can't believe these two are already married. It feels like yesterday when Y/N came running up to me showing me the ring Eddie had bought. But now, here we are, and I'm not surprised. They're meant to be together. So, to Y/N and Eddie, may you live happily for the rest of your days." Steve finished, raising his glass in the air. "But, Eddie," Steve added, Eddie looking up that mean confused from his seat, "Don't do anything stupid. Cherish her for a You two deserve this happiness. Cheers!" Steve exclaimed, causing everyone to cheer, taking sips of their wine.

"Let's cut that cake!" You cried out, as everyone agreed, you and Eddie making your way to the cake. 

Grabbing the knife, Eddie stood behind you as you slowly cut the first slice of cake, placing the cake on two plates, Eddie smirked as he swiped his finger into the icing, booping your nose playfully before he put the icing-covered finger into his mouth. Rolling your eyes, You cleaned off your nose, watching as people grabbed their slices of cake. People chatted among themselves, even reminiscing about old memories.

Once everyone had a slice of cake, Robin set up the speakers again, "Everyone! The Munsons!" Eddie took your hand as he led you to the center of the small dance floor of grass. 

The slow song started as Eddie wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you into him as you wrapped your arms around his neck, fingers playing with the ends of his hair. As the two of you danced, Eddie looked up into the air, his smiling widening, before he looked back down at you. Staring up into his dark brown eyes, you could see all the love he held for you reflected in them. You loved him too much. Everything about him was perfect. He was smart. He cared. He was sweet. He was amazing. He loved you. "This song is beautiful." You whispered to him, listening to the soft guitar playing in the air.

Eddie smirked lightly, "I made this song for you." Eddie answered, making you gasp softly.

"Are you serious?" You asked in shock, his chuckling slightly as he nodded.

"You're too good to me... You really are." You muttered, Eddie smirking at your reaction before leaning down to capture your lips once again.

"It's called 'Memory'," Eddie said gently as the two of you swayed.

"I love it, Eddie. It's perfect." You whispered back with a grin before you giggled in surprise as Eddie dipped you as the song slowly ended.

"I love you, Eddie Munson." You professed, nuzzling your nose with his.

"I love you, Mrs. Munson."

[quillsinkwell]

Sneak Peek of BTC Chapter 10!

I've been waiting to write this chapter. >:)

(Audrey's point of view)

Life moved rather slow at the safehouse.

They weren't supposed to be let out of their cages, but that was when Tom was around.

When Tom went out to get supplies however, that was a different story.

Alice often let them out of their cages when Tom left.

"It's not good to be locked up 24/7! You need to stretch your legs every now and then." She said.

Though, there was something Audrey noticed during these temporary breaks.

Bendy often chose to stay within the cage when these breaks occurred, and during the few times he did choose to leave, he took specific measures to avoid Henry in particular.

It was...confusing, to say the least.

She confided all of this to Porter, during one of the rare moments Bendy was sleeping and the others were distracted.

"Ah yes, that's to be expected...Allow me to explain, Bobby."

"Are you aware of how the Cycle proceded before Wilson arrived?" Porter asked.

"I know that Joey made the Cycle to torture Henry, it repeats when Henry shows Bendy a film reel, Alice is supposed to help Henry, and Sammy and Norman had roles in it, to torture Henry, and it made them...bad."

"You know quite a lot, but you don't know the full story."

"Explain."

"Yes, there are many people in this world, crafted to torture and break Henry, Sammy and Norman included, but Bendy was the king of them all."

"He and Henry were sworn enemies, destined to destroy each other at every turn. Henry releases him, Bendy tries to kill him, sometimes succeeds, Henry destroys him, and then the Cycle repeats."

"But then, Wilson came."

"He halted the Cycle in place, changing the entire structure of our world, trapping Bendy between two forms and locking the Cyclebreakers away.

"Then all of you escaped and helped each other. I was hoping that was a sign that the two of them had set their forced conflict and could get along."

Porter let out a sigh and looked at Bendy.

"I suppose I was wrong to assume that. Years of aggression and death won't be washed away so easily."

"If he gave Henry a chance, they could have a chance to make up." Audrey stated.

"They probably could, Bobby, but it's not that easy. They've been stuck in a loop of antagonism and hatred for so many years, I think the two of them honestly don't know how to interact with each other if they aren't enemies."

Audrey let out a sigh and put a hand on Bendy's head.

"Is it childish of me to wish it was that easy?" She asked.

"If it is, then that makes me childish as well." Porter answered.

The two of them sat in silence for a bit before Audrey broke the silence.

"You know something?"

"What?" Porter asked.

"When I got first locked up, my goal was to escape and find a way to restart the Cycle, because I thought there was a way that I could fix it and make it better. But if that's the way things are when the Cycle's running, then I think that all I could do was make it worse."

"'More often then not, the most well intentioned ideas are the stupidest ones.' An old friend of mine said that to me once." Porter said.

"God- I didn't even have a concrete plan on making things better for everybody! I just blindly hoped that everything would work itself out! God, how could I have been so dumb?!" She quietly yelled at herself, slapping her head.

"Hey, hey, hey. You're not dumb." Porter said, grabbing her hands.

"...ok, maybe a little dumb."

"Hey!"

"But! You mean well, and I know you're capable of great things, Bobby. You're just...bad at planning it out."

"Just keep your head high, and focus on making a functional plan. I have faith that you'll find a way in the end."

"Ok. Thanks Porter." She said.

"Anytime, Bobby!"

•••

(No one's point of view)

Little did they know, is that their conversation did not go unheard, and was in fact heard by two people.

A certain animator, and a demon that had hung up his dancing shoes a long time ago.

###############################

Thank you to @preciouslittletoonette and @piecuteyes here on tumblr, thank you to SpinedotLazuli on Ao3, and thank you to all my lovely readers!

See you in the next chapter, and have a nice whatever-time-it-is in your timezone!

[liarian]

22 Answers for a Fanfic 2022

1. fandoms you wrote for this year

Haikyuu (Bokuaka)

Attack on Titan (Eruri)

Jujutsu Kaisen (Itafushi)

Mob Psycho 100 (Serirei)

2. favorite fic you wrote this year

I'll Stay with you - My Bokuaka fanfics are still my favorite ones to write. I hope to get engaged with them again but it's been hard.

3. favorite fic you read this year

I think it was History Retold from a_Bounded

4. favorite opening line/scene you wrote this year

Once the dust settles, all that remains is desolation.

It's from a Serirei Snippet but I felt it's the most powerful.

5. favorite ending line/scene you wrote this year

“No, but I will be.” Koutarou kissed the crown of his boyfriend's head and let the warmth of his body remind him why it was worth moving on.

6. a trope you wrote this year

Angst with a happy ending. Did someone doubt it?

7. pairings you wrote this year

Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou

Erwin Smith/Levi Ackerman

Itadori Yuuji/Fushiguro Megumi

Serizawa Katsuya/Reigen Arataka

8. a fic regret from this year

My mental health suffered for while I was writing Chains of the Past and even if right now I'm happy with it, the pain I put myself through didn't compensate the reward.

I'm not sure how I could finish it.

9. a song that helped you write

I've had so many songs on a loop while writing. Lately I worked a lot to La Bachata and Tú me dejaste de querer

First chapter of my Serirei Soulmates AU was a loop of Hellfire of The hunckback of Nôtre Dame

10. total number of fics you posted

24 but for the most part they're snippets that go from 300 words to 2500. I haven't been lucky with longer fics this year.

11. total number of words you posted

118.507

12. most popular fic written this year

I'll Stay with You

13. least popular fic written this year

Little Moments but they're just snippets from Loving you is a Losing Game so I'm not surprised at all

14. longest completed fic you posted this year

I'll Stay with you. It is the last long fic I was capable of writing. After that burnout and twitter killed me. I changed fandoms trying to get that spark back and I didn't feel the joy of writing again until Serirei.

With them I'm keeping myself to short fics, though.

15. shortest completed fic you posted this year

Hurting (323 words)

16. favorite character to write about this year

I'm having fun with Reigen, so I'll go with him

17. a fic you didn’t expect to write

I never expect them, though...

18. most memorable comment/review

This one "this story may have just defeated my prejudice against 1st person pov stories, because it’s so intriguing! i love the domesticity & the realism of levi’s inner world :)"

It was really special, because even I hate reading 1st Person POVs but Chains demanded to be writen like that.

19. trends you noticed in your writing this year

Everyone is depressed :O

20. fics you wanted to write but didn’t

There's an Dystopian omegaverse that worked really great for Eruri but I can't write for them anymore, they're bad for my health.

21. something you want to write next year

I'll see when we get there!

22. an idea from one of your fics that you want people to think about

You are enough and you deserve to be loved

Thank you @curator-on-ao3 for the post idea!

[hashtagcaneven]

🤡✨🎶🤩

🤡 What's a line, scene, or exchange you've written that made you laugh?

It was from an original fic, but I absolutely had my characters argue over whether pop tarts were breakfast ravioli. For great comedy because I needed them to argue about something silly.

✨ Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it. 😉

I uh... fuck. I like to think I'm good at getting into a character's head. I also string the words together good sometimes in a way that knows just how to smack me or a reader over the head in the best way.

🎶 Do you listen to music while you write? What song have you been playing on loop lately?

I listen to music 24/7 so yes lol. I have a playlist called "Trirot" I've been using just for fic writing. I think the most recent earworm from it is "Afterglow" by Dayseeker.

🤩 Who is your favorite character to write?

...all of them? But for real, I do enjoy writing Wolfwood. His voice is almost effortless for me.

[myscprin]

15 questions, 15 people

Thank you for the tag @erzsebetrosztoczy NOT TOO LATE THIS TIME, so i'll be tagging peeps too ^^

LET'S LEARN AS MUTUALS!

I'm gonna go against the grain and tag up here *shrug* Booping: @pinkgelatin @oblivious-troll-main @vorpalfanficberry @sempercry @ill-heart @108garys @ultrabananapudding @the-girl-who-flies @you1gnorant5lut @ringo-smile @doorfighter @raoneven @yesitsloulou @thisismedannyy @endovelicus

I know it says 15 questions, 15 people, but if you see this and want in, JUST PLAY, CONSIDER YOURSELF TAGGED AND C'MON IN!

Nickname: Mysc... self titled lol IRL the only nickname I've ever been given was 'Kidney' 'cause I be filtering shit for better or for worse.

Sign: Cancer 🦀

Height: Vengeful 148cm (4'10" for freedomers...I say as if I am not a freedomer lol)

Last thing I googled: "How to look up all words you left comments on ao3" 👁👄���

Number of followers: 243 c: As far as I'm aware, I've cleared out all the pornbots, but I'm not sure how much longer I can fend them off

Song stuck in my head: "Lets take a Rocketship to Space" - Phineas and Ferb. Literally had this playing on loop as I was writing my 'Love in the Air' fic

Amount of sleep: Usually 4-6hours. BUT I've been on break and activated sloth mode and get ~14hrs throughout the 24hrs (that's why y'all have been bothered by my ass seemingly 24/7)

Dream Job: I've said it since I was in 3rd grade-- FREELOADER. But I guess in modern terms.. sugar baby? I JUST WANNA BE ABLE TO CONFORTABLY SLEEP AND CONSUME (foods and fandom stuff). But I guess Medical Lab Scientist is second best 💁

Currently Wearing: ToyStory T-shirt with leggings and this BIG ASS WARM, FLUFFY GRAY ROBE that is my blanket throughout this frozen winter

Movies/Books that summarize you: Uhm.. I'm blanking on all pop culture references. The only thing that comes to mind is my siblings always yell "THAT'S YOU" whenever they see Scrat from Ice Age Movies. Idk if that answers the question but that'll be close enough

Favorite Instrument: Cello. Or Bass. Something deep and mellow, but can also SLAP

Favorite Song: McFly - Star Girl. I usually flip flop between 2, but this is the one now c:

Aesthetic: CUTESY, YET COMFORTABLE PINK. I would be absolutely unhinged pink, but not with my current funds rip

Favorite Authors: Hate to admit that I don't read mainstream, published books, so y'all get fan fic authors from ao3 instead! I'm going to feel so guilty forgetting so many people but off the top of my head in no particular order: seraphjewel, xxbishopxx, cupofbrownsugar, ctrvpani, and ehl. Moving on before I guilt myself into going over to ao3 and pulling up my subscriptions list. IF I TAGGED YOU TO PLAY, you are also in this list. I figured y'all can see each other being tagged. #twobirds #onestone #i'mthinkingtonight Also also gotta shoutout my favorites from the 19 days fandom: minisoysquares and deenuke.

Random Fun Fact: I make really good, realistic pig noises. I've never been able to explain it IRL, but the best way I can describe it is by squishing the air in my mouth. As I'm formatting, I've realized my narcissistic ass made the fun fact about myself. TRUE TRUE RANDOM FACT: Beavers, with their freaky-ass-awesome-orange-because-its-iron-fortified/oxidized teeth, CAN INDEED chew down WHOLE ASS TREES. LOOK AT THIS LITTLE GUY. The tree itself is small, but they can take down WHOLEASS i-- i just cannot with these animals.

Thanks for making it to the end! 💛 I gotta really shave down how I answer, because I realize y'all may not wanna read a whole autobiography of a tumblr that spams you all the time 😅

[cakesexuality]

Psychiatrist appointment kept getting rebooked on both our ends and was cutting close to the 6-month mark (when I'd be officially considered discharged if I didn't come back) but it finally happened yesterday

Last time I saw him, he said my main problem was psychosis, which is true and that probably was my biggest problem at that point

This time, he said he doesn't think I have psychosis at all

I asked if we could try a depot, because I'm having issues taking my meds as part of my relapse and a depot would make it a little bit easier

He says he can't do that because I don't have a diagnosis for something an antipsychotic would be used for

I have a diagnosis for something that an antipsychotic would be used for and have had this diagnosis for the last 9 years

I ask why I need a diagnosis of something specific in order to receive a depot

He tells me "I need to tell them why you're taking it"

Who the fuck is "them"?

He wants to increase my Seroquel to 100mg

Even 75mg of Seroquel is too much for me to take on a daily basis and I have to cycle my dose throughout the week between 75mg and 50mg

He wants to change my antidepressant from Wellbutrin to Prozac

I give him the heads-up that Wellbutrin doesn't do anything for my MDD but works for my ADHD, so taking me off it would leave my ADHD unmedicated, but this doesn't seem to bother him

I've taken other antidepressants similar to Prozac in the past and they didn't do anything for my anxiety, sometimes made my anxiety worse, usually didn't do anything for my depression, and were not worth the stuff that would happen to me like hair loss, hallucinations, rapid mood swings, dissociation, etc., but this is fine to him

He wants to give me the liquid form of Prozac because it's easier to control the dose, but oral suspensions have been the hardest medications for me to take right now and I'd fare better with a pill

I just finished taking 28 doses of a liquid medication in 7 days, please give me time to breathe before starting a new one

He wants to change my antidepressant because I'm in a bit of a relapse and one of the potential side effects of Wellbutrin is reduced appetite

One of the potential side effects of Prozac is reduced appetite

The increased hunger caused by my Seroquel outweighs any possible reduced hunger from my Wellbutrin

He says my main issue right now is anxiety and that's another reason why he wants me on Prozac

I ask him what had led him to say anxiety is my main problem so I can clear up any possible misunderstandings, since I don't feel like that's my main issue at the moment and I don't know what I've said or done to make him believe that

He says "Because that's my opinion"

I ask if it's my body language, my tone of voice, my word choices, etc. leading him to that conclusion

He says "None of those things"

I ask, if not one of the things I listed, what else could it be?

He says "Because that's the impression I get"

I ask why he gets that impression

He says "I just do"

I can see that he apparently gives prescriptions based on vibes rather than actual symptoms

After going around in that conversational loop at least 5 times, I say "Okay" and disconnect the video call

I talk to a social worker at CMHA who doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about when he says I need a diagnosis to get a depot and she convinces me to reconsider whether I want to give up on this doctor already

I call his receptionist the next day and she says that he meant he would need to tell my diagnosis to the drug manufacturer

The receptionist also says I'm already officially discharged less than 24 hours after speaking to him, so I guess the decision of whether to go back has already been made for me

I talk to a nurse at CMHA, a pharmacist at my pharmacy, and a receptionist at my GP's office, and none of them know why he would have to tell my diagnosis to the manufacturer

[opieghoul]

17 Questions for 17 People

Tagged ages ago by @starry-skies-hazy-eyes. Sorry it took me so long! 😅

Nickname: I mean I have a few but the main ones are Opal, Opie, Lex, Lexi, and Alex

Zodiac: Virgo baybee

Height: 5'11 to 6'0 depending on which doctor you ask

Last thing I googled: Tangier. I'm watching Only Lovers Left Alive and that's the city Eve lives in, so I wanted to see which country it's located in

Song stuck in my head: Enjoy the Silence by Depeche Mode

Number of people you follow: Oh jfc it's been so long, hold on -looks- 1,210 and probably over half of them are dead and abandoned lol

Amount of sleep you get: 6-7 hours on a work day if I don't decide to go full gremlin but now that I work super early mornings again, I've been passing out by like 6pm lmao

Lucky numbers: 7 & 8 because why not?

Dream job: I mean it used to be makeup artistry but Sephora formally dimmed that light for me for the foreseeable future (read: retail is trash), so I'm in limbo on what I wanna do. It would be nice to get into a university and work to become an art teacher though!

What are you currently wearing: Black cotton shorts with white piping and a black tshirt that reads "Thou shalt not try me. -mood 24:7" in that super goth ancient english font

Movies/books that summarize me: Uh, none that I can think of would summarize me but I love movies like Only Lovers Left Alive, Encanto, Memoirs of a Geisha and things like that along with books that fall into the sapphic and/or fantasy category so? I guess gay, nerdy and spooky?

What is your favorite instrument: I can't play any to save my life but electric guitars will always have my heart

Favorite song right now: Ohhhh you can't do this to me! Ok so the few that get played on loop currently would be Enjoy the Silence (Depeche Mode), In My Side (Vision Video Band), Dark Nights (Dorothy), Innocence (Halestorm), Good Girl (Morganne), Now or Never (Meet Me @ The Altar), Labour (Paris Paloma), and My Goodbye (Jorge Rivera-Harris)

Describe your aesthetic: Goth lmao. More specifically some weird combo between witchy goth, pinup/mortcia-esque goth, and goth metal depending on the day. Witchy and casual goth outweigh the others however

Favorite author: I'm just getting back into reading, so I'll have to update you later

Favorite animal noise: The little squeak animals make when they yawn and those little tiny whines when they want your attention

Random fact about myself: I can sing pretty well but I'll absolutely never let anyone but my best friend hear it bc stage fright

I tag: Ok so I don't have a whole 17 people to tag in this, so I'll tag the few I can think of (note: You're literally under zero obligation to do this if you're tagged) and leave it open to anyone else who wants to give it a go, SO- @robotswilcry @jetpackdolphin @silver-sass @ephemeraltea @beautiful-flower22 @needleslace @padawanton @awsome-space-dragon @shynerdywitch @probably-a-mermaid