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dravid-writes · 1 year ago

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Walking back home after a successful mission, the fog is even thicker than when I left. If I didn't know these paths so well, I'd be worried about getting lost. That's been pretty common lately, and while it's given me lots of jobs, it also makes those jobs harder. But there are other things to worry about. Like nearly tripping over someone lying down in the middle of the path!

"W-whoa! Hey, what's the deal?.. Hello?" I poke at the stranger; up close, I see they're a rowlet.

The rowlet stirs at my poking, and sits up. "Mmm… Hm? Hello."

"… Uh, hi. What are you doing lying on the ground out here? Not the best place for a nap."

The rowlet looks around, though they can't see much thanks to the fog. "I don't know."

I sigh. "Come on, the town is this way. We should get out of the fog."

"… But I want to stay in the fog."

"What in the�� Are you stupid!? There's fog monsters out here! Did you hit your head or something?"

"… Maybe…"

"…"

"… Where am I?"

As it turned out, Rowlet has amnesia. Pretty bad amnesia. They didn't even remember how to fly, though they relearned it pretty quick. With no family in town, and nowhere to go, it was a convenient opportunity for me to snag a partner for my rescue mission work.

A tepig and a rowlet, we cover each other's weaknesses rather nicely, and they've got a talent for navigating in the fog. I burn away the fog creatures while Rowlet finds lost travelers and missing items. Thanks to them, I complete way more missions, and since they also do their fair share of chores around the house, I'm happy to split the pay and let them stay over. Even if they're really weird.

One day, after picking up groceries, I come back to find them frying up some eggs and bacon. At 3pm. And no, they didn't just wake up late and this is their breakfast; despite being a literal owl, they wake up early in the morning. Yesterday I woke up to find them staring out the window at the fog. They just can't get enough of it…

I start loading the groceries into the pantry, when Rowlet says "Tepig, you like having eggs with lots of pepper, right?"

"Huh? Yeah, why?"

"Because I'm making eggs for you."

"What?" I turn and watch Rowlet sprinkle pepper into the frying pan, while an already-made plate of eggs and cheese sits on the counter. "Um… You know that's not part of chores, right? You can just make food for yourself, we don't have to cook for each other."

"I know."

"… So? Why are you making me eggs?"

"Because you haven't had lunch yet." Rowlet turns off the stove and slides the eggs onto a plate, then sits down with their own plate of eggs and cheese.

"Okay wise guy, seriously, what do you want? Did you break a vase or something?"

Rowlet raises an eyebrow in confusion, a rare moment of expression from them. "No. I wanted you to not be hungry."

"… Whyyyyy?"

"Because I like you."

… Rowlet is SO weird.

Rowlet and I have been a team for a few weeks now, and as people have seen us together, a few have mentioned how stoic and emotionless Rowlet seems. They're not. They might not express it much, if at all, but the more time I spend with them, the easier I notice when they like or dislike something, how they act when they're happy, or scared… or upset.

This town isn't a very friendly place, even less so now with this everlasting fog, and people… Well, I've long since grown thick skin and gotten numb to all the things they say. Rowlet hasn't. And after going to bed early yesterday, they've been in their room for the whole morning. I can't stand seeing them like this, or rather NOT seeing them I guess, so with a deep breath, I open the door and step into their room.

They jolt up at the sound of the door opening, then their head drifts back down. They're sitting on their bed. It doesn't look like they've moved all morning.

I take a seat beside them. "Hey. You still worrying about what Kadabra said?"

"Yes."

"Here." I pass them a bar of chocolate, the kind I've seen them buying a few times. "That's your favorite, right?"

"Yes." They tear away the wrapper and start eating, bite by bite.

"… Does it… help you feel a little better?"

"… A little bit."

"Forget about Kadabra. Jerks like them aren't worth the time it takes to tell them to buzz off. They don't know what they're talking about."

"But they're right. I'm weird. I don't fit in. I don't belong here."

"Come on, that's complete baloney."

"… I don't think it is."

Shoot, I'm bad at this. Well, Rowlet always does like to tell it how it is… "Okay, sure, you're different. Weird. Maybe even a 'freak', if you wanna use scary words. But how does that mean you don't belong here? The lettuce in our pantry doesn't fit in with the bread or crackers, but that doesn't mean we're gonna throw it out. You belong here just as much as anyone. I bet that psychic jerk would be singing a different tune if they were out lost in the fog without your skills to guide them back to town."

Rowlet's head sinks lower. That's good, they're thinking more. Either that, or the lettuce metaphor confused them. I wait by their side, until they've finally finished their chocolate bar.

"I think I've got another jigsaw puzzle buried in the closet. Wanna do it together?"

An eyebrow raise. "You said you didn't like puzzles."

"Well yeah, but I like you." Wait what? Why did I say that!? I didn't mean to say that!!

"… I'd like to do a puzzle with you."

And so, 10 minutes later, I'm sitting over a thousand pieces of cardboard, bored out of my mind. Hooves and puzzle pieces don't mix well, and with the fog interfering with evolution, I'm stuck with a bunch of worthless-

"I thought about what you said before. I feel better now."

"Oh. Uh, I'm relieved to hear that… Do you still want to keep doing the puzzle?"

"Yes."

Well, it'd be mean to bail on them now. But watching their pace suddenly pick up, their eyes darting around the table as they focus, it makes me happy to see my teammate back in a good mood. "Hey, uh, I don't know much about fitting in, or belonging, but… For what it's worth, I want you to stay."

"I want to stay with you, too."

This mission is different. Word got out about Rowlet's navigation skills, and we received a special request to investigate this mountain; it became foggy before anywhere else, and even on those rare days when the fog lifts, this place always remains cloaked in an impenetrable cloud of fog. Even expert exploration teams have gotten lost in there, returning days later with nothing to show for it, if they return at all. Normally, no amount of money could convince me to go somewhere like that, but I trust Rowlet's senses.

And I feel like I'm right to do so when Rowlet returns from another scouting flight. "The summit is close. There's lots of fog creatures, and many are large."

"Yeah, I had to fight off three of them just waiting here. There's way more on this mountain, and not just because the fog is so thick. Think this place might be the source of it after all?"

"… Maybe. I think there must be something important at the summit."

I nod. "Lead the way."

We start to walk, but the fog before us suddenly swirls and gathers into the form of a creature. But this one is different from the others; for one, its form doesn't look nearly as solid as the others. Normally you can touch and even punch or tackle a fog creature, and they can do the same to you, but this one is more loose, barely holding a vague shape. For two, other fog creatures don't talk. "Stop."

We're so surprised by the strange creature that we've already stopped, staring.

"You. Why have you taken that form? Why do you stand with a pokemon?"

Rowlet and I exchange glances, both of us equally confused. "What are you talking about?"

"I was not speaking to you, pokemon." A foggy limb reaches toward me, and before I can react, it turns solid and strikes me, knocking me back!

Rowlet flaps over, making sure I'm alright before standing between me and the creature.

"You defend them. Why? Why do you side against your kin?"

"… Are you speaking to me? I'm a rowlet."

"I understand now. You have become lost. Your senses have dulled. I will help you." A wave of fog rolls toward us, so thick it may as well be smoke. Rowlet flinches… but doesn't move. The fog swallows them whole, and then stops.

"Rowlet!" I start toward the cloud, but hesitate; what if that fog is dangerous? Instead, I shoot a flamethrower at the creature!

The fire makes the fog creature dissipate, but the voice calls out from all around. "You do not belong here, pokemon. Leave."

"Not without my partner! What are you doing to them!?"

"I am helping them learn what they are. Helping them shed their crude body."

Is that fog killing them!? I need to get them out of there! I run toward the cloud and jump through it, reaching out my arms for Rowlet! I catch something, and when I come out the other side, Rowlet is- fading away?! Their body, it's turning into fog, their eyes staring into nothingness.

"You cannot stop them from remembering now. They already know what they are. They know to take their rightful-" The voice suddenly stops, as Rowlet's body stops fading.

The fog suddenly flows back toward their body, reforming into flesh and feathers. When they're fully restored, they blink and gasp for air, their eyes darting around.

"Rowlet! Are you okay? Do you need an oran berry? What HAPPENED in there?!"

"I…" Their breathing gradually calms, and their eyes drift downward in thought. "… I'm fog. I'm a fog creature…"

"What..?"

The voice speaks again. "You understand now. Why do you still cling to a pokemon's body?.. It does not matter. The era of fog is coming. Soon, you will return to your true form, and you will join us."

I try my best to ignore what this thing is saying about Rowlet. "What do you mean the era of fog is 'coming'? It's been foggy for five years!"

"This is only preparation. When we create our world, we will flourish. Pokemon will have no place there."

"What in the world..?"

Rowlet speaks up. "Tepig, this place isn't safe for you. We should leave."

"O-okay, yeah, let's go."

The creature remains silent and makes no move to stop us. I follow Rowlet down the mountain as they effortlessly retrace our steps, navigating perfectly through the thick fog.

When we return, we report what we learned from that creature, leaving out what happened to Rowlet.

Finally back home, we eat dinner in silence.

"… So, Rowlet… What you said back there… You're a…"

"I'm a fog creature. Not one like the beasts we fight, but like that one we spoke with. When I was… born, something must have gone wrong, and I accidentally took the form of a rowlet. Then you found me."

"I… see… What exactly happened in there? In that cloud?"

They think for a long time. "I could feel the fog all around me, like a fish in water. I could feel that other fog creature's presence. I perceived them more clearly than when I see a pokemon's face. Then my body started to disappear, and I felt weightless. I was in the fog, and I was part of it… I liked it."

"You did?" I remember their gasping, their eyes darting around. They looked desperate, struggling. "Then what happened? Why did you… undo it?"

"Because I like you more. I like my life as a pokemon. I want to stay with you."

My tension vanishes, and I smile at my partner. "I want you to stay, too."

Over the past month, we've learned more than ever before about the fog. More of the intelligent fog-born appeared (Rowlet and I suggested calling them that, since calling Rowlet a 'creature' felt wrong), and days of especially thick fog became more common. The fog-born had a plan, and if they weren't stopped, it would be the end of life as we knew it. And with our vision getting more obscured by the day, Rowlet was our only hope.

And we did it. We learned their plan, tracked down the source of the past five years of fog, and made our way up into the sky to a fortress of solid clouds. At the final battle, I throw flame after flame at the thing I can't see, dodging in time with Rowlet's warning shouts as fog-beasts and fog-born try to stop me.

The fog starts swirling, slow at first, but soon it picks up speed, blowing against me with enough force that I have to put all my effort into staying on the ground. But the wind gets faster, until-

FWOOOSH!!

A gust of wind clears the fog, and I see Rowlet panting with effort; they learned that they could control fog, and by now, they've nearly mastered their power. In the clear air, I see our target: A glowing sphere of energy, rapidly refilling the thick cloud around itself. The fog heart. In the moment that I can still see it, I sprint forward, bursting with flame, and smash through the heart!

I hear something crack, and a blast of wind throws me backward. The sound of wind is overwhelming, and fog rushes past, blocking my vision completely…

Then everything goes silent.

The air is still.

And then, for the first time in weeks, the sun shines down on us. Which is especially surprising because I thought this cloud castle has a ceiling. I look up and, well, it HAD a ceiling. The fog-born retreat lower into the castle, while the fog-beasts evaporate in the midday sunlight. The fog is lifting.

"… We did it! Rowlet, we did- AAAAHHHH!!" So, it turns out that the sun burned through the floor just as fast as it did the ceiling, and now I'm plummeting toward the ground from like a million feet up. Oops. It's not a big deal, though; Rowlet was able to carry me up here from a mountaintop, and sure enough, they fly down to meet me midair. "Rowlet!" I shout over the wind rushing past me. "We did it! We won!"

Rowlet nods. "Yes. I'm very glad you're safe now, Tepig… I have something I need to tell you. Did you see what happened to those fog-beasts?"

"Huh? Yeah, they… Wait. No… No, you can't disappear! Won't you be fine since you have a solid body? And- And what about those clear days we had? You were fine then!"

"My body won't last. I was safe during clear days thanks to the fog heart's influence, but now, I feel like my body will only last for a few minutes."

"Th-then there's still time! That mountain, it was where fog-born lived before building the heart, right? It's close enough, you could make it!"

"But then who will carry you down?"

I look at the ground. It'll be a long fall. Too long to both save me and fly to the mountain. "But… I… No! You can't! You can't disappear! You're the first person in YEARS that I've actually cared about! You're the first person to care about me. You're my partner, you're my friend, you can't just- I want you to stay!!"

"I want to stay with you, too. I want that more than anything…"

"No… No!!" Tears blur my vision no matter how much I try to blink them away. Rowlet embraces me with their wings, and I close my eyes and hug them in return. I can't stop sobbing, and everything feels so fuzzy that I don't even notice when Rowlet breaks the hug and starts carrying me. I just feel the wind slowing down as they gradually glide me down, then a few flaps, and then I'm standing on the ground once more.

"Rowlet..?" I sob, opening my eyes. But despite my tears drying and the air finally being clear of fog, I don't see them. I look left, look right- did they already disappear before I could say goodbye?! I look behind me, and spot a familiar pair of wings!

… On my back.

Over the past few years, things have finally gone back to normal. The weather's fixed, people can see where they're going again, and there's no fog-beasts to worry about. Rescue work slowed down for a bit, but once more people were willing to go outside, it picked back up. That mountain is still shrouded in fog, and there's probably still fog-born living there, but no one wants to go check. Probably for the best that our species don't interact for a while. Give it a few decades, or maybe centuries, things might be better between us and our foggy neighbors. Well, the ones that didn't try to kill us all, at least.

After I lost Rowlet, I realized how lonely I had been before I met them, so… I tried my best to make a friend or two. It was awkward, and difficult; most people aren't very friendly around here. But I did manage to find a few people, and after befriending Rowlet, getting to know people who have normal facial expressions was a piece of cake. I even joined up with another rescuer, and we formed a team! Combine that with my new pair of wings, and rescue work is easier than ever.

Then there's the wings… They're the only thing I have left of Rowlet. I thought, I hoped, that maybe they were alive inside. I talked to them, begged them to give me some sort of sign, but… Well, even if Rowlet really is gone, at least some part of them lives on in them; whenever I eat their favorite chocolate, or do a jigsaw puzzle, I feel a little tingle in my wings.

I make sure to keep them clean and groomed, which got a lot more tedious since they grew with me when I evolved. Still, it's a good thing they grew big enough that I can still fly with them. I'm not nearly as graceful and weightless in the air as Rowlet, but being able to fly at all is amazing! Speaking of flying, I actually have plans for today.

I step outside and walk down the road that's unusually empty for this time of day. It's a foggy morning, and everyone still has some resentment toward it. I was sick to death of fog too after five straight years of it, but now… Now it reminds me of my old partner, who loved it so much. Of the journeys we went on. Of the time we spend together.

I climb to the top of a hill, and spend a while just staring out at the clouded landscape. My wings always feel most comfortable in the fog, where they belong. This is when they're at their peak. And so, I stand up, take a few steps back, run forward, and jump off the hill. I spread my wings out to catch the air, and I glide through the fog like a fish in water.

#my writing #pmd

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jackofjesters · 1 year ago

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I know there's a good chance that no one's gonna read this, but I finally wanna get this story of mine out there. Lots of text ahead, read at your own will!

When I was around 9 or 10 I used to have a best friend (honestly looking back he was always kind of a douche), and he and his brother were both really into collecting pokemon cards at the time. At some point, he offered to give me all of his copies and a bunch of energy cards and I was like "sure why not?" I ended up becoming attached to certain cards, my personal favorite one being the card he gave me of vanillite. Fast forward a bit, one day out of the blue he asks to see that one back. I think the reason he said that day was that he wanted to just show it off to someone or something like that. I didn't have any reason to be suspicious of him, so I gave it to him. A week or so goes by and I'm starting to feel a little weirded out since in my head I'm thinking "y'know, it doesn't usually take this long to borrow something just to show it around :/", so I asked if I could have it back. Without looking at me, he says that he traded it for something (I don't believe that since he never mentioned getting any new cards at the time), and then he just ignored me for the rest of the day. I remember feeling so down and heartbroken over losung my favorite card that day that I decided I didn't want anything to do with my cards, so I put them on the very top of my TV stand.

Some years go by, I never touch the cards, and I end up with a little sister. One day she notices the cards and asks me about them. All I told her was that 'some guy gave them to me' and that 'I don't really care about them anymore.' After hearing that, she asks if she can have them, and I say yes before moving them to her dresser so that she can reach them. She never really did anything with them, but I think she liked going through them every now and then. Now she loves pokemon games, and I think eevee is her favorite (last I checked).

Again, fast forwarding to the past year or so, and my best friend of many years wants me to play a minecraft mod or something since I finally got a laptop. She keeps telling me to download 'pixelmon', and my brain is just like "pokemon isn't even that interesting, why wouldn't she wanna play something else?" So I kept putting it off until I told myself that 'if I download it and play it on my own and like it, then I'll play it with her. If I don't, then I'll never touch it again.' I ended up playing it for a few hours straight, and I genuinely loved catching the little guys and leveling them up and whatnot.

I've looked back on all this recently, and I think I've realized something. I'm not sure how true this is for anyone else, but I think a lot of the time that the reason I won't be willing to get into something is because I've had some sort of negative experience in the past that relates to it. For example, I don't like driving much even tho I used to dream about being able to cruise around a nice town with good tunes since almost everytime I'm on the road it feels like something happens. One time when practicing parking in an empty lot, someone had called the cops on me for 'suspicious activity' and three cars showed up, which obviously unnerved me. Another time, someone almost ran into my side since they were trying to merge into my lane without any warning. There's plenty of other examples, but even if I had only given one that would've been enough. Sometimes all it takes is one bad thing to happen, then suddenly you don't go certain places, don't say certain things, don't hangout with certain people, and so on. Maybe the best thing we can do for ourselves is allow for the chance to experience something better, y'know? Obviously that's easier said than done, but I think it's a good goal to have. Cuz honestly, I think I'd be so much happier if I'd let myself revisit past places, people, and things in general, or at least try something new regardless of what my brain tells me.

Honestly, I just wanted a reason to get this out of my head, and maybe it could be something to look back on. To anyone who reads this, I hope you're doing well, and I hope I can enjoy pokemon in some way now. Maybe I could play it with my sister sometime.

Vanillite | OOYAMA

#blender #low poly #lowpoly #low-poly #3d model #3d modeling #pokemon #pokemon tcg #vanillite #3d art #art #artists on tumblr #rambles

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symptoms-syndrome · 3 years ago

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In other news. Time to talk abt some Shit going on in my life. Under a readmore primarily bc i know there's a lot of eyes on my blog RN on account of some posts I did not expect to blow up

I'm back in my apartment, mostly recovered or recovered enough that I can take care of myself on my own for the most part. I still have a tube which sucks, I was only expecting to have it for three weeks and I'm going to need it for at least five or six.

But anyway that's just context.

The main issue is that the Roommate Situation is making me extremely triggered even though nothing is actually happening. Like I almost never see them, they stay in their room or go out sometimes but never linger. I know they said they're moving out in September, at some point I'm going to have to ask when a good time for house tours for prospective new roommates would be. I might have a friend who's interested in moving in, which would be nice.

But anyway. It just feels like I'm back in my childhood home where everything is silent until it suddenly is very much not. The tension is palpable. Flashback brain says stay very very quiet, when I'm sensitive like this I'm incredibly highly aware of every sound. I open things quietly and close doors carefully, if I need to close them. I've had the courage to hang out in the living room primarily because. As I said before the bad roommates don't step foot in there, and I think it makes me less anxious than staying in my room where it feels like anything could be happening outside my door. The living room has a sort of half wall situation which makes it feel more connected to the rest of the house. It's one of the things I really like about this place. But anyway I've been in there playing my video games but I wear headphones so there's no sound coming out. I tell myself it's because I don't want to bother anyone, but one I don't think that any reasonable person would be extremely bothered by me playing Pokemon at a reasonable to very low volume at like, 2PM, and two I don't think that I should be as scared as I am. But alas. Roommates are not reasonable people. I still freeze up in whatever I'm doing (even just. Folding clothes in my room) when I hear them coming out of their respective rooms.

When my good roommate comes home, I feel kinda guilty about the way I act. I'm still very quiet. I want her to know it's not about her. I do get the courage to put on a show to watch together out loud (but still low, but mostly because I don't like things too loud in general) but I still speak quietly.

I'm naturally sort of soft-spoken because I'm usually just. Very aware of the volume of my voice, and try to keep it to a level where it would just be heard by me and my intended audience. Of course, being a public speaker I am able to project, I just normally don't speak very loudly in conversation. My good roommate is very much not, she speaks very loudly and I don't think she's aware of it most of the time. Most of the time I don't mind it, I'll really only ask her to lower her voice if I have a headache or something. I do want to tell her to lower her voice when she comes home lately, but it's because something in my brain feels like it's screaming about her voice breaking the silence I've deliberately created. It's not accidentally so quiet, it's incredibly intentional. It's not a quiet meant to be broken. Her speaking loudly is like setting off a tripwire, it makes my whole head fill with alarms ringing to alert me that danger is coming.

I don't think my roommates would actually try and get physical with me. Mostly because they're both kind of. Wimpy. Like I think if I played my game out loud or talked at a normal volume or whatever I don't think anything would actually happen. But my brain doesn't actually believe that. It seems to believe that there is danger just around the corner ready to drop on me at any moment if I'm not very very careful.

They could leave before September. They could sublet their rooms. I genuinely think they're too stupid to know they can do that, because I suggested it before and they shot the idea down (or one of them did) and all he kept saying was "my name is on the lease." Which it is, but that doesn't mean he can't sublet. IDK what he's on about but he's always been a little behind the curve. When he was on regular, friend-ish terms with me and good roommate, I told good roommate to "just let him be stupid sometimes" because he'd say the most batshit insane, objectively incorrect things ever and then blow the fuck up on you if you challenged him on them. So it was easier to just let him say whatever and move on with it. And by objectively wrong I mean that but also just. Offensive AF sometimes. Like one time he used the word "jew" in a way that was? A lil too laissez faire and one of our roommates at that time gently said something like "it's probably better to use Jewish instead" and this shitty roommate turned that into a HUGE yelling argument and we're all three like dude. Just add one syllable it's not that big a deal. Two Jewish ppl are correcting u very nicely. But shitty roommate pulled the "you're just cancelling me for something stupid, I'll just never say anything ever again" card and stormed off. So there's that. I think he thinks bc he's gay he's just. Immune to being insensitive to other minority groups. Ugh.

Anyway this is your future representative or whatever. He's in grad school for polisci he wants to be a politician. I bet he could be.

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veritylane7 · 3 years ago

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+mydecember+ Twilight ver. 13

( 10:50 PM ) Math-class doodle of Rukura (Raphael), airbrushed. Came out nicely. ^.^ ( 10:07 PM ) John's suggestion for a feel-good song that Mr. Rozario (school principal) should play over the PA system in the morning? Children of the Damned by Iron Maiden.... how I agree! ^____^

We're sick, sick people. Can you tell we're related??

song of the moment: "Genocide" by the Offspring. I really gotta get some of the Offspring cds... I want Smash, Americana, and Conspiracy of One.... *sulks*

( 9:57 PM ) Ribby-chan... s'all being taken care of. Mike and Matt be lookin' after me closely, and if Dan does anything else, he's in for some serious trouble. *heh* Mike or Matt my soulmate? Dooood, Mike's a pal, and Matt's like my older brother (he's actually my most recent ex-boyfriend in a way). Thanks for the concern, tho! And don't worry... I beat Dan up nice. If I have my way, he'll be singing soprano come next week.

*heehee* I think I've FOUND my soulmate, anyhoo. *pointed look at someone who's screen name rhymes with punkin' pie* *heartheart* ^__^

( 9:49 PM ) *runs around screaming fangirlishly* YUMMY! YUMMY! I GOT A CUTE, SCAAAAAAARY DOOD FOR THIS TEST!!!

Ideal anime guy test...

# 1 Zagato from Magic Knight Rayearth # 2 Ashitare from Fushigi Yuugi # 3 Chichiri from Fushigi Yuugi # 4 Hotohori from Fushigi Yuugi # 5 Kiryuu Touga from Shoujo Kakumei Utena # 6 Taikoubou from Senkaiden Houshin Engi # 7 Hayama Akito from Kodomo no Omocha # 8 Kyoichi Saionji from Shoujo Kakumei Utena # 9 Morisato Keichi from Ah! My Goddess # 10 Nakago from Fushigi Yuugi # 11 Ohtori Akio from Shoujo Kakumei Utena # 12 Ryohji Kaji from Neon Genesis Evangelion # 13 Eagle Vision from Magic Knight Rayearth # 14 Gabriev Gourry from The Slayers # 15 Ikari Gendo from Neon Genesis Evangelion # 16 Nagoya Chiaki from Kamikaze Kaitou Jeanne # 17 Chiriko from Fushigi Yuugi # 18 Li Shaolan from Cardcaptor Sakura # 19 Tsukishiro Yukito / Yue from Cardcaptor Sakura # 20 Eriol Hiigarizawa / Clow from Cardcaptor Sakura # 21 Ikari Shinji from Neon Genesis Evangelion # 22 Kinomoto Touya from Cardcaptor Sakura # 23 Shiirou Kamui from X (X/1999) # 24 Tamahome from Fushigi Yuugi # 25 Monou Fuuma from X (X/1999)

( 9:46 PM ) Ideal anime girl test... how'd they know that I adore Skuld, Ami-chan, and Misato? o.O

# 1 Skuld (Oh my Goddess) # 2 Amy (Sailormoon) # 3 Misato (Eva) # 4 Belldandy (Oh my Goddess) # 5 Kari (Digimon) # 6 Rei (Eva) # 7 Lita (Sailormoon) # 8 Mina (Sailormoon) # 9 Fuu (MK Rayearth) # 10 Serena (Sailormoon) # 11 Hikaru (MK Rayearth) # 12 Sora (Digimon) # 13 Bulma (Dragon Ball) # 14 Mimi (Digimon) # 15 Misty (Pokemon) # 16 Rei (Sailormoon) # 17 Umi (MK Rayearth) # 18 Videl (Dragon Ball) # 19 Asuka (Eva) # 20 Urd (Oh my Goddess)

( 9:44 PM ) Slayers kyara test... now THESE results are good.

# 1 Gaav the Demon Dragon King # 2 Beastmaster Zelas # 3 Luna Inverse # 4 Valgaav (Vally-girl! ^_^) # 5 Xelloss Metallium # 6 Zelgadiss Greywords # 7 Gourry Gabriev # 8 Lina Inverse # 9 Rezo the Red Priest # 10 Filia Ul Copt # 11 Martina Whatever-Her-Last-Name-Is # 12 Amelia Wil Tesra Seyruun # 13 Naga (Wil Tesra Seyruun? I think so) # 14 Kopii Rezo # 15 Prince Phil

( 9:41 PM ) Sailor Moon test results... scary. O_O

# 1 Nehelenia # 2 Setsuna/Sailor Pluto # 3 Artemis # 4 Galaxia # 5 Haruka/Sailor Uranus # 6 Taiki/Sailor Star Maker # 7 Hotaru/Sailor Saturn # 8 Michiru/Sailor Neptune # 9 Minako/Sailor Venus # 10 Rei/Sailor Mars # 11 Yaten/Sailor Star Healer # 12 Luna # 13 Makoto/Sailor Jupiter # 14 Princess Kakyuu # 15 Ami/Sailor Mercury # 16 Chibiusa/Sailor Chibi Moon # 17 Seiya/Sailor Star Fighter # 18 Mamoru/Tuxedo Kamen # 19 Usagi/Sailor Moon # 20 Chibi-Chibi/Sailor Chibi Chibi Moon

( 9:39 PM ) Pokemon test...

# 1 Satoshi/Ash # 2 Shigeru/Gary # 3 Nyarth/Meowth # 4 Kasumi/Misty # 5 Pikachu # 6 Takeshi/Brock # 7 Kojiro/James # 8 Musashi/Jessie

I'm Ash and Gary... isn't that damn close to weird?

( 9:37 PM ) *laughing again* CHECK IT OUT!!

CCS Kyara test results:

# 1 Kero-chan # 2 Syaoran Li # 3 Touya Kinomoto # 4 Tomoyo Daidouji # 5 Eriol Hiiragizawa # 6 Sakura Kinomoto # 7 Yukito Tsukishiro

I'm Kero-chan!

( 9:35 PM ) EEEEEEH!!! O_O; For the X/1999 test... I'm Satsuki! O_o

# 1 Yatouji Satsuki - dragon of earth # 2 Kuzuki Kakyou - dragon of earth # 3 Sumeragi Subaru - dragon of heaven # 4 Monou Fuuma - dragon of earth # 5 Nataku - dragon of earth # 6 Shirou Kamui - dragon of heaven # 7 Kishuu Arashi - dragon of heaven # 8 Shiyuu Kusanagi - dragon of earth # 9 Kigai Yuuto - dragon of earth # 10 Sakurazuka Seishirou - dragon of earth # 11 Aoki Seiichirou - dragon of heaven # 12 Arisugawa Sorata - dragon of heaven # 13 Kasumi Karen - dragon of heaven # 14 Nekoi Yuzuriha - dragon of heaven

( 9:32 PM ) *laughing like a total idiot* CHECK THIS OUT! HOW FUNNY!!! I find that the results for my taking the Eva kyara personality test are very well done!

# 1 Asuka Langley Sohryu # 2 Gendou Ikari # 3 Ryouji Kaji # 4 Misato Katsuragi # 5 Touji Suzuhara # 6 Kaworu Nagisa # 7 Kouzou Fuyutsuki # 8 Ritsuko Akagi # 9 Aoba Shigeru # 10 Makoto Hyuuga # 11 Shinji Ikari # 12 Maya Ibuki # 13 Hikari Horaki # 14 Rei Ayanami # 15 Pen-Pen

( 5:56 PM ) Speller!!! You owe me Mickey ears, and I want Lance's underwear!! AND FEEL MY WRATH!! *wraths Speller* MWAHAHAHAHA! JOYCE IS DEAD! MWAHAHAHAHAHA! ( 7:36 AM ) Morning Blog!

Nah-nah-nah! Riot Ink business caaaards! *heehee*

I'm okay, really.

I am headachey!!! As Amy would say... my head is doing the achey brakey dance of PAIN. So, I imagine I will get nothing done in class. Ms. Fotinos is gonna kill me for skipping anyway... *sighs*

Querida! I shall continue my efforts to make dad buckle!!

Meagen-san.... really, I know what you mean. Technically, I can draw, but I kinda lack depth in my art (from what I can see). There are very few pictures that turn out with the emotion or realism I want them to come out with..... and funny enough, that kyara that I tend to make look how I want is good ol' Lucas.

Lucas: What can I say? I'm perfect. *mutters* Yeah, right...

And yes, you're getting fanart. Now if only I can manage to scan it....

Meg's Art Corner! Raphael-chan, or as I refer to him in RPs, Lian's Rukura. This is a fine example of what I draw in math class on scrap paper. And querida? It's not THAT good. ^##^;;;;

That's all from me!

Over an' out!

( 10:48 PM ) Of course my idea is good, querida! I'm so smart after all! *tosses away IQ test scores that say only 142* Lucas with blue hair.... streaked with green!!!!!! Yeeaaah, baby! ( 3:23 PM ) Warning, incoming rant!

STUPID! GODDAMN FLIPPIN' STUPID!! What a GOOD way to get yourself killed! Doing f*cking drugs! STUPID STUPID!!! Goddamn it! I mean, pot, okay that's bad. Bad and STUPID. But 'shrooms?!! HOT DAMN IS THAT STUPID!! And not only that, getting yourself into a situation where you get thrown out of your mom's house?! F*cking stupid! *fumes*

(note: never mind, needed to vent.... friend issues)

( 2:00 PM ) At home and skipping civics class.... *whistles and rocks back on her heels* 9.9

You know what's scary? It's scary when a dood whom you eat lunch with even jokes about wanting to rape you. That's scary. Even scarier is when he pins you against the wall and you have to fight him off, and when he comes back, your best (guy) friends beat the living sh*t out of him. Not quite sure what to make of this.... big super duper hugs and thank yous to Mike and Matt, my new bodyguards. Dan, touch me again, and they'll kill you for sure. I'll see to it. *sweet smile*

( 7:32 AM ) Morning blog!

Querida: Yep, the Mark plot is similar to our dj idea... except a bit more profound. *heh* And seriously, tho, a good plot would be something to the effect of Mark goes baaaad-niichan and tries to end the world, and you gots to stop him. There's a plot. Hooray for plots! Cam's efforts on trying to get Mark to put some sort of value on his own body should start working someday. I mean, HOW many times has Cam explained it? Not to mention, Mark has a nice idea of how Cam thinks now that he's been inside his mind. Mark-niichan's a slut.... but I love him anyway!

Cam: *pounds the living daylights out of Meg for calling Mark such a thing*

*heeheehee* Animal comparisons! *heehee* I gotta try that! Rukura = gecko Poya = otter Yuken = viper Lucifer = duck Michael = horse Zachariah = pot-bellied pig (personality wise) Gabriel = peacock Kanson = crocodile (someone patch in a call to australia, let's get the Crocodile Hunter in here, please... *crosses fingers*)

Meagen-san: I'm working on a fanart for you of SailorM. I shall prolly CG it tonight or tomorrow, okie?

School blows! I don't wanna go to school! WAH!

over and out.

( 6:35 PM ) For fun, and just to annoy him... Rukura's stats!

Name: Raphael Harrison Nickname: Rukura Age: 17 Date of Birth: February 28th Hair: purple Eyes: green Height: 6'4 Occupation: student Descent: Angel Family: human family includes Jacob [father, deceased] and Mary-Anne [mother, deceased]. Original family includes Kanson [father], Europa [mother, deceased], and Uriel {Yuken} [half-brother] Friends: Lucifer, Pandora {Poya}, Michael, Zachariah Current Residence: Atlanta, Georgia Likes: music, reading, daydreaming, being anti-social Dislikes: homework, unwanted attention, medication, and fighting Skills: singing, getting weirdly good grades Setbacks: has a rather serious heart condition, which despite medication and various attempts, is damn near impossible to treat, suicidal, and generally miserable Notes: reincarnation of the Messiah. Human mother died in childbirth, human father committed suicide a few months later. Is considered a "problem child", as he usually gets into fights at school. Been shifted around to foster homes all his life, never staying in one particular home longer than 1 1/2 years. Most recent foster family died in a car crash, leaving him the only living "relative" to claim his foster father's fortune. Lives alone.

( 6:24 PM ) Chris-kun: Dood, a meant the person playing as being Mark... ^__^;;

Meg-chan's on net restrictions, lalalalala... she's gonna get in trouble if she gets caught on the internet, lalalalala... she's rewriting stats for LotM, lalalalala.... she's TOO attached to Raphael-chan, lalala--

Rukura: *belts Meg in the head* Don't call me that! Meg: It's your legal name, isn't it? I like it better 'an Rukura...

Dan wants me to hit him. In the eeeeeew kinda way. Do I really come across as that much of a dom? @_@

( 7:16 AM ) Morning blog!

This is bound to be a short enrty, as mom is home. Sooo...

I had a really funky dream last night, but I don't remember it. All I remember is waking up a lot, upset, and trying to recall where I was. Bennett was curled up to me most of the night (good spiritie dood ^_^), but I don't think it helped much.... ah, well, it's the thought that counts.

Yesterday, I blew $44 on prismacolor pens. I got the box set of cool greys, plus a replacement 60% warm grey as mine is running out. That's me broke for another month now.

BMB is cuuuuuute today. *giggles* I want my verra' own Mik! I *heartheart* Mik! Rach, you better get me a Mik for my birthday! Or else!

I can't draw worth beans lately. *cries*

to Chris-kun: Thanks for the comment on the layout... and maybe now I'll bug querida to do an AH game (I honestly didn't think about that @_@).

*ponders* Yeah, you could go arouns as Mark in the game, and you could sleep with every second person you run into---

Cam: SHUT UP! *thwacks Meg* Meg: Hey, it's not my fault that your hubby is a total sl--- Cam: *throws a table at Meg* Meg: Itaaaai. X_X

Otaaay, enough out of me. Over and out.

( 11:44 PM ) Hal is GOD... lalalala! Hal is thy holy master! ( 11:27 PM ) Purple is a nice colour! It's the colour of hentai. ^__^; ( 12:30 AM ) BEHOLD THE NEW LAYOUT!!!

....very purple, isn't it?

( 3:58 PM ) This close >< to shooting myself... ( 3:56 PM ) I WILL get this to work.... I swear I will. ( 3:53 PM ) HTML is annoying. Background image, where are you? ( 3:50 PM ) Let's hope for the background image now.... *crosses fingers* ( 3:45 PM ) Playing with the layout... ( 3:25 PM ) This is the temp layout, as I'm altering this puppy to look how I want it to. New version should be up tonight. ( 2:43 PM ) Chris-kun: the Boa cd has two names. One is the japanese release, the other is for the international market. It's either called Race of the Thousand Camels or Twilight (like this here blog!). And the Limp Bizkit cd is called Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavoured Water. And Hannibal is a lot different than the Silence of the Lambs, isn't it? I liked it, but I stand by the fact that Jodie Foster made a much better Clarice Starling than Julianne Moore could ever hope to be.

Anyway.

My Bennett still isn't home... Dora, is he still with you? If not, you'd think he'd be home by now... *sighs*

Okay, time for me to book it outta' here for a bit afore dad calls and has a fit 'cause the line is busy.

( 8:05 PM ) Interlude...

Meg: Cain and Yuken! KAWAII!!!! Yuken: *giggles and twitches his neko-mimi, looking all innocent* Rukura: ICK! Who the HELL would touch HIM!? *points at Yuken* Meg: Well, you 'touched' him once... Rukura: NOT BY CHOICE, GODDAMMIT!! .... *sneezes* Yuken: *eyes Rukura venomously* Rukura: I'll be running off to Lian now... *heads for the hills as fast as his (verra' long) legs can carry him*

( 8:00 PM ) Querida, thank goodness it's not bronchitis. That's something I get a LOT, and it's not fun at all. And ten pounds? ALRIGHT! You GO, girlfriend!! *tackleglomps* You'll be okay.... I know so! ^.^

I got the "Play" cd (Moby), which came with the edit of South Side for free. Bonus, baby! ^_____^

( 7:24 AM ) Morning blog!

Well, I feel mighty stupid this morning. Yesterday, I kinda pulled a muscle in my left leg (riiight in my calf), but it stopped hurting. Woke up from a funky dream and got up to find it hurt. Now, being the idiot I am and not usually restricted by physical pain (hey, that's what ended up breaking my ankle), I went for a shower. Feeling headachey and cramped, I worked my way down the stairs, only to pull the same muscle again and fall about halfway down and land on the cat at the bottom. ^___^;;; <---- feels very dumb

*falls over* Meagen-san, you had me scared a minute there! If you had MEANT Mark, I would have had to call in paramedics and stuff to make sure you weren't doped up on anything!!!! @_@

List of kyara and colours this blog is gonna be themed on in order of layout updates: Cam/purple (this weekend, hopefully) Lucas/red (whenever) Mark/blue (whenever) Sybandial/pink (whenever) Jesse/green (whenever)

Each layout will have a background featuring the kyara, too! ^_^

I really need a life. Over and out!

( 9:51 PM ) Song lyrics... one of Cam's most recent themes! "Learn to Fly" by the Foo Fighters

Run and tell all of the angels This could take all night Think I need a devil to help me get things right

Hook me up a new revolution Cuz this one is a lie We sat around laughing And watched the last one die

I'm looking to the sky to save me Looking for a sign of life Looking for something to help me burn out bright I'm looking for a complication Looking cuz I'm tired of lying Make my way back home when I learn to fly

I'm done nursing the patience I can wait one night I'd give it all away if you'd give me one last try We'll live happily ever trapped if you'd just save my life Run and tell the angels that everything's all right

I'm looking to the sky to save me Looking for a sign of life Looking for something to help me burn out bright I'm looking for a complication Looking cuz I'm tired of trying Make my way back home when I learn to fly Make my way back home when I learn to

Fly along with me, I can't quite make it alone Try to make this life my own Fly along with me, I can't quite make it alone Try to make this life my own

Looking to the sky to save me Looking for a sign of life Looking for something to help me burn out bright I'm looking for a complication Looking cuz I'm tired of trying Make my way back home when I learn to fly Make my way back home when I learn to fly Make my way back home when I learn to...

( 7:06 PM ) Tay, I've decided the theme for my next layout... good ol' Bennett and the colour purple. How... fitting. ^__^

Now if only I can get this stupid HTML editor thing to work... *binks it*

( 11:05 AM ) Morning blog (late again)!

WHOO HOO! I GOT INTO THE ADVANCED VISUAL ART STUDIO CLASS!!! BIG HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ON MR. HALL!!!!

Yeaaah, I just went to first period class this morning and got my classes for next year reviewed. Then I came home because the muscles in my abdomen are spasming and it hurts like bugger all.

To all my blogging friends; I'm gonna change the layout of this blog in the next week (I have a LOT of links to add). I'm gonna theme it around an AH kyara, so lemme know who you think would be best, please. Just post your opinion in your blog, as I read most of them daily anyway. ^__^;

( 8:23 PM ) Yeah, I've neglected my duties as a blog-person lately... I have a life, you know. (Hey, the LEAST you can do is smile and nod! T_T)

Not much is happening, really. My civics class keeps getting cancelled, so I think I'll skip it tomorrow and come home early. What else to say...? Ummm, not much.

Song of the moment: "The Kids Aren't Alright" by the Offspring. I'm on a REAL Offspring kick right now... dunno why exactly. Maybe 'cause they just amuse me. ^_^;

Grammy awards. Bleeeek. *makes a face*

Amy, kids who don't like cheese are stupid! HA HA!

( 3:33 PM ) ...afternoon.... blog!

This morning I spent the whole time trying to get my scanner to work, so thus, no morning blog. But I've got some stuff say for a change!

Today, lunch period was spent bothering Dan for the most part. He really ticked me off yesterday, and I'm extracting my revenge. So, I was making him jealous by glomping Matt at every opportunity (Matt doesn't mind too much, and he's nice to hug 'cause he's always warm.... and no, Mike, he's not my boyfriend! JUST A FRIEND!! T_T). It was rather comical. Civics class was cancelled, since Ms. Fotinos was at the Raptor's game with the people who signed up to go... the half of my class that was at school for the last three periods of the day got transferred to a Grade 12 geography class, in which was SO awkward that the teacher took pity on us and sent us all home. Redoing Angel Hunter again. This time, on the right sized paper... I'm sticking with the page layouts, tho, as I think I've got the look I want.

And, for fun! Rukura's theme song lyrics!

Home by Depeche Mode

Here is a song from the wrong side of town Where I'm bound to the ground by the loneliest sound That pounds from within and is pinning me down

Here is a page from the emptiest stage A cage or the heaviest cross ever made A guage of the deadliest trap ever laid

And I thank you for bringing me here For showing me home, for singing these tears Finally I've found that I belong here

The heat and the sickliest sweet smelling sheets That cling to the backs of my knees and my feet I'm drowning in time to a desperate beat

And I thank you for bringing me here For showing me home, for singing these tears Finally I've found that I belong...

Feels like home I should have known From my first breath

God sent the only true friend I call mine Pretend that I'll make amends the next time Befriend the glorious end of the line

And I thank you for bringing me here For showing me home, for singing these tears Finally I've found that I belong here.

( 7:11 AM ) Morning Blog!

This song is tripping me out right now, but goddamn, do I love it! *grooves to "Home" by Depeche Mode* It's a really dramatic song... and it's sooooo making me think of Rukura. >_<;

It's very cold this morning. At least I think so, anyway, so I'm sitting here wearing the couch blanket as a cape. I feel like a doooork.

Meg's Art Corner (Freckle-chan, you copycat! T_T)

A special little picture; Lucas in his newest style of dress. Drool factor, out of 10? 12.

What else to say... ummm... Mom didn't leave me lunch money again. T_T;

Over and out!

( 2:12 PM ) Cam: EVERYONE RUN WHILE YOU CAN!!!! THE END IS NEAR!!!!!

....yep, for the first time in YEARS, I'm the proud owner of twp pairs of blue jeans. I've not worn blue jeans since I was about 5... and these ones fit niiiiice. I have hips and a waist.... @__@

Anyway, mom and I went to Sears and then to Curry's Art Supplies. I got my two pairs of jeans, two men's dress shirts (one white, one black), a new sketchbook, 4 new warm grey prismacolors, and a new 05 pigment pen. I am a happy Meg-chan!

Blue jeans that fit... *in shock*

( 9:09 PM ) I have officially started rewriting the Chronicles of Benjamin Carter! WHIHAI! Here's a bit of what I've written so far.

Frail. Benjamin was frail. He was about 5'4, fifteen years of age, and pale. He was small and slight in build; a boy and not yet a man. Right now, he looked more fragile than he really was... curled up under the blankets of his rather small bed, bruised and crying. It was a familiar scene.

Benjamin wiped at his eyes with the back of his hand in a vain attempt to push the tears away. However, it was pointless since more just spilled down his cheeks as if to spite him and his efforts to stop them. He hated crying. Hated it. But at times like this --- only at times like this--- he couldn't help himself. He was so tired of being forced into the clutches of rich men; predators that liked their pleasure taken out on the young boys who could be bought if the price was right. He was sick of the violation and the abuse. Most of all, he was sick of his father pushing him into it. His own father. He hiccupped in his efforts to restrain his tears.

Benjamin wanted more than anything to run away. Run away to another city, another country, anywhere but where he was. Just out of the clutches of the people who hurt him so much. But he was trapped like the birds his father kept in the iron cages that lined the back yard. He was a prisoner, shackled to the bars of his perpetual cage. Derkshaw would catch him if he ran. Derkshaw always caught him.

"Damn him to hell," Benjamin thought bitterly, though he regretted thinking it for reasons he couldn't quite explain.

There was a tap of boots in the hallway, and Benjamin closed his eyes, breathed deeply, and pretended to be asleep. The heavy, even steps stopped outside his door. The door squeaked as it opened slightly.

Benjamin tried to keep his breathing slow and deep, tried not to flinch. He felt Derkshaw's gaze on him. It burned.

'Go away, papa, go away....'

The door opened a bit more, and the tap of boots carried into the room.

It would be a good half hour before Derkshaw left, the blood on his hands and shirt not his own.

( 2:28 PM ) Man, am I grateful for mom. She just brought me the most wonderful little care packet of a bottle of ibuprofen and a Terry's Dark Chocolate Orange bar. *sniffles happily* Thank you, mommie!

Amy, Amy, Amy.... you have no idea how much stress is gone already. *heavy sigh* I can't thank you enough.

Spellleeeeeeerrrr, next weekend is go for coming over to my house to watch movies! You like freaky movies, I'll make you watch freaky ANIME movies! On the roster so far: Perfect Blue and X. Maybe I'll make a trip to Roger's Video and snag Devil Man or something. But I will get you hooked. I will. Your time will come (*sings* thy will be done!).

*laughing at BMB* Yeah, Mik, you dirty minded cutie! You think those nasty thoughts about Harley! *laughing*

Oiiii, Freckle-chan... you posted a nice list of couples you like. I think for fun, I'll do the same!

Cardcaptor Sakura Touya and Yukito - kawaii! KAWAII!!!! Sakura and Tomoyo - so sue me!

Oh My Goddess! Trobadour and Urd - they were cool! Too bad he's such a dork. Keiichi and Belldandy - well, DUH!

Magic Knight Rayearth Ascot and Umi - I'm a sucker for Ascot. What a little cutie! Clef and Presea - ditto that, 'cause Clef is so cute and so short!

Dragon Half Mink and Lufa - not likely, I know, but still.

Bakuretsu Hunter Tira and Carrot - feh on Chocolate. She's not half as cool as Tira. Marron and Gateau - I don' like Gateau too much, but Marron is so hot. *_*

Ranma 1/2 Ranma and Shampoo - not likely, either, but I think Mousse is too wussy for her. I've always been a Ranma/Shampoo 'shipper.

Shamanic Princess Kagetsu and Tiara - it's a sad relationship... Sarah and Tiara - um, don't ask.

Slayers Lina and Gourry - he's so funny around her... ^__^

Sailor Moon Usagi and anyone but Mamoru! T_T; Chibi Usagi and Pelulu [Perelu, Perele] - *heehee* Cute fae-ish boy with white hair!

Neon Genesis Evangelion Shinji and Asuka - I think she really does like him. She just doesn't know how to show it. Misato and Koji - funny funny! She's a player, tho.

RPing kyara [involving mine] Cam and Mark - for obvious reasons. Rukura, Lian, and Gabby - yes, a yaoi threesome. They're all so cute. Sola [Soren] and Sybandial - so innocent and sweet. ^_^ Jyrian and Quoik - I don't talk about these two much, but their relationship is really cute. Jesse and Rach - how can I not like this? He's cute, she's cute (haha, Rach!) Lucas and Lila - I liked this possibility... too bad she's dead and we won't find out what woulda' happened. Lucas and Carter - this is a slightly more demented relationship. Cadence and Lexiel - a more intellectual relationship... even if Lexiel is kinda big on sex for sick reasons. ^_^; Cadence3 and Cam - I'm a sick, sick girl. Lucifer and Setsuko - if we get Setsuko back, then we can resume this. They're cute too. ^_^

Other Stories Kiih and Ro (from Dora's "Three O'Clock") - I don't really know why... these two just kinda hit it off in my mind. Len and Yuri (see above) - ditto the above again.

Book Series Ron and Hermione - need I explain? Sirius and Remus - again, need I explain? Lestat and Louis (Anne Rice's VC books) - strange but yummy relationship Lestat and David - intellectual and alluring. Marius and Amadeo - Stokholm syndrome. Cal and Meg (A Wrinkle in Time) - KAWAII!

That's that done. ^__^;

( 10:41 PM ) Sap warning ahead!

I have the best best friends in the whole world! My best friends are Speller and Amy!

Speller, who I know I don't mention on here too much (I'm sorry! ;_;), is the smartest person I know. She's also one of the most talented writers, too. How many people can write a whole novel before/during high school? Aside from Amelia Atwater-Rhodes, not many. And her poetry kicks ass! She has a lot of it published. She can also draw better realistic stuff than I can, which makes me mondo jealous. It's not fair, I tell you! And she must learn to watch out for Hannibal. Beware him. Speller likes pudding. And pears. Damn those pears.

Amy and I have been friends since 7th grade, when she was the "new kid". We actually first met in drama class. She ran over a possum on her way to work. Yeeeah! She, too, is an amazing writer. It's not FAIR! She came runner up in the story writing contest a while back. I was proud. And I SCREEEEEEAMED the loudest when she won the Todd Bayless award. I live to embarrass.... ^_~

I am grateful to have such good friends. I love them. This concludes the sap. ^___^;

( 9:04 PM ) Querida, you're cooler than Simon and Milo! (Personally, Milo's a tad too butch for my liking, but Simon is a cute little brit guy with the sweetest little sentiments!) ....anyway.... yes, you have a neck. I hope. ^_~

And to complete the phrase you know you have problems when...you obsess over a cartoon with no neck, no nose, and huge eyes!

( 7:29 AM ) Morning blog!

I watched Perfect Blue last night. It downright scared me! Seeing Hannibal didn't scare me, seeing the Rage; Carrie 2 didn't scare me.... but Perfect Blue DID. The "real Mima" (the one who's forever in the Cham costume) is SCARY!!! And the Mimaniac is pretty scary too. o_O Iffen you haven't seen this movie, get it. Especially if you like stuff like Neon Genesis Evangelion, X, or Serial Experiments Lain. I warn you, there's nudity, a rape scene, and a lot of gore. This movie freaked me out more than Eva did.

In other news... going to the art store tomorrow!!! And, I'm also skipping 5th period today. Maybe even 3rd, 'cause I'm stuck doing NOTHING all class anyway. -_-;

Hopefully they have the 10x15 paper I want... 'cause, you know, that being the traditional dimensions for comic drawing. Y'all knew that, right? *gives you a loooooook*

And I best be off to get ready... JA!

( 7:02 PM ) Blogger hates me.

OH! OH! EVERYONE GO READ TODAY'S BMB!!! CY AND SKIDS FOREVERRRRR!!!!

I'm having a hell of a lucky streak this week. Today, in the mail, I got an AUTOGRAPHED Simon and Milo picture, FRAMED!!! *swoons*

And I got Perfect Blue!!!!

( 5:14 PM ) Gonna go see Hannibal with Mike and Chris in about half an hour! ^__^ ( 7:21 AM ) Morning Blog!

Last night, began a really angsty RP with Cam and Mark (well, it was angsty on Cam's end). Now, I only just realized that I think up really weird stuff that follow pretty much all the major time/space/reality laws. And all on a whim and at random. It's strange. You know you study this stuff too much when.... Yep, it's not every day when I come up with plots like that puppy. Using the imprints left in the reality weave to reconstruct a Mark.... that's some strange stuff (but it actually makes sense, which is what throws me). Huh.

I feel guilty... I got mad at Amy last night. She was being a little more depressing than usual, and I just couldn't stand it. I'm sick and stressed and I don't need to boost her ego all the time.

I've had this urge for the past couple of days to draw Cam shaking Lucas by the shoulders and looking very upset while Lucas looks blank. I don't really know why.... the caption for it has been running through my head, as it is this: "What am I to you?!" Trippiness.

Well, being the idiot I am, I didn't do my civics homework. My group is gonna love me for that.... then again, they're sticking me with the job of reading the presentation on Spain because I'm the only one that knows how to speak some Spanish. *sweatdrops*

I'm having urges to draw the weirdest things.... I hate it when Cam angsts at me from his little spot in my mind.

Meg's Art Corner A really weird little picture of c3 and a Chibi Cam. C3 is drawn more in my gothic anime style than my normal one. Turned out quite well! ^_^

Over and out!

( 7:16 PM ) Neeee, imouto! If you're not gonna be doing Yunga Neko for a while, you should get a guest artist to do, like, weekly panels just until you can work on it again. *volunteers* ( 7:14 AM ) Morning blog time again, kids!

I'm feeling okay this morning, so school for me. *sigh* School is so boring. Lunch is okay, mind you, because I have (as Speller said) "so many male bitches that work" for me. ^__^

I've been doing a lot of drawing since I got those pens. It's scary... can't wait to get more! ^__^ I also gotta get me some 10 X 15 paper, 'cause that's the standard comic size. I don't feel up to fighting with printers because the size ratio on 8.5 X 11 is uneven. Screw it. I'll just redo it all on standards.

I'm having the straaangest breakfast. Pork chops. Don't ask me, it was the only thing I could find...

Song of the moment: "Cruel Angel's Thesis (Harmonia Remix)" from Evangelion. *slobbers* I forgot what a COOL remix this is!!!

Meg's Art Corner Ben Carter, looking cute and vaguely distant! (Hey, he's a Blink fan, too!) Mark makes a scarilly cute girl. o_O Appearently, so does Lucas. Onna-Cam makes me think of Rally from Gunsmith Cats for some reason.... How cliché.

Over and out!

( 5:30 PM ) Nah nah naaaah! Meg has Sympatico access!!

Anyway, Meg also got herself some niiiiice grey prismacolor pens yesterday! Meg drew some pretty pretty pictures with them, too! Meg is happy, so she is!

Meg's Art Corner With her new prismacolors in hand, Meg is proud to present her latest creations! Angelique, the evil evil bitchy whore of a Demon from AH. She's pretty, tho. ^_^; "Legacy of the Messiah" cast shot; Rukura, Lucifer, and Pandora as kids! Carter and Lucas, a strange relationship these doods have. Carter looks somewhat like Cam, doesn't he? Quoik, Meg's only fae kyara!!

( 2:25 PM ) Tiredtiredtiredtired....

At the Office Place, they have a set of 24 prismacolor markers for about 40 bucks. I WANT THEM, but mom says "no, I don't have that kind of money right now". So, what we're gonna do, is I'm gonna drag her to Curry's Art Supplies store in a few hours and see how much THEY'RE selling them for.... maybe she'll buckle and take me back to the Office Place. ^_~

I need grey markers...

...oh, note to all who talk to me at night online. I won't be on until really late 'cause the network will be down. Unless mom hooks us up with Sympatico tonight, I'll be on around 2am. *sniffles* I'm gonna be without my querida fix! *snifflesniffle*

( 8:34 PM ) Lack of bloggingness today, as you all may have noticed. Dunno why, I was home again....

song of the moment: "Under the Bridge" by the Red Hot Chili Peppers. I *heart* Flea.... what an AMAZING bass player. Too bad this song doesn't showcase him much. If you want good bass by the dood tho, "Californication" is an order.

*cheers* The restrictions to see Hannibal have been changed from R to AA! In other words, I can get in to see it! Heeey, Dan, Amy, Speller, anyone? Wanna come with? I warn y'all, tho, it's been said that this movie is grotesquely violent.

Tomorrow is gonna be a very busy day. I'm going into town with my mom and brother for most of the day, then it's home for a few hours (like, two), and to the mall where I shall meet with Quinn-chan and Chris to go for our ritual Riot Ink business meeting. Then I shall return from the depths of Quinn's anime/transformers shrine of a home and return to my humble lair around midnight. Then I'll prolly talk to my baaaaybeeeeee (aka: querida) for the remainder of the dark hours of the evening.

Oh! Celeb Jeopardy! Two of my faaaaavourite doods were on there! Seth Green from various shows such as Buffy, and Steven from the Barenaked Ladies! DOOD! And Seth has his hair buzzed in sooooo damn short that he looks bald. 0_o

Kick ass! 3 Doors Down are playing at the Warehouse on March 11, and tickets are only $27... man, I wanna GOOOOO!!!

( 12:37 PM ) For Whom the Bell Tolls by Metallica Make his fight on the hill in the early day Constant chill deep inside Shouting gun, on they run through the endless grey On the fight, for they are right, yes, by who's to say? For a hill men would kill, why? They do not know Suffered wounds test there their pride Men of five, still alive through the raging glow Gone insane from the pain that they surely know

For whom the bell tolls Time marches on For whom the bell tolls

Take a look to the sky just before you die It is the last time you will Blackened roar massive roar fills the crumbling sky Shattered goal fills his soul with a ruthless cry Stranger now, are his eyes, to this mystery He hears the silence so loud Crack of dawn, all is gone except the will to be Now the will see what will be, blinded eyes to see

For whom the bell tolls Time marches on For whom the bell tolls

( 12:17 PM ) Okay, today's guest BMB is quite good. ^__^

*points out the window* Heehee, a mini-plow!! *giggles*

song of the moment: "Sunny Came Home" by Shawn Colvin (so sue me, I like this song... ).

( 12:08 PM ) Why is it on days that it's not supposed to snow, it snows the most? We've gotten about 13 cm since last night and it's still coming down... -_-;

song of the moment: "For Whom the Bell Tolls" by Metallica. Heeheehee....makes me think of AH. I shall post the lyrics on here later.

( 7:42 AM ) The Wheel of Excitement on Neopets loves me... I just won another 10 000 np. O_O ( 7:35 AM ) Morning blog!

Here I am, killing time while I wait for either mom to call me or for me to call mom. Stupid morons in Wal-Mart, you call the main office and ask to be patched through to Electronics, and they put you on hold and hang up on you. Figures, it was mom's boss that just did that to me. Moron.

I got slim to no sleep last night due to sickness. Man, do I hurt... I feel like my guts are being put into a dryer's spin cycle constantly. And after drinking 3 L of cranberry juice, I'm not too good right now. I'm kinda waiting for mom to call so I can ask her what to do... I dunno if I should stay home or go to school. I bet I'm missing a fair bit. Well, there's always Fiona and Harpreet to ask. ^_^;;

I bet Dan's gonna kill me if I'm off another day. Mike's prolly beaten him up a few times by now without me there.

*drums her fingers* Mom, I asked you to phone me... you've got 10 minutes, and then I phone YOU....and hope I don't get hung up on...

Oh! BmB's on it's guest week. Y'know, with guest artists doing the panels. I'm not liking it too much. Yesterday's was a tad too blunt, with not enough joke 'ahind it. Maybe next time, I'll try for a guest spot on there. I'd be sure to do something involving Cy and Skids. I love Cy and Skids. ^__^

I'm running very low on straight kyara. Querida manages to turn them all gay! *shakes her head* Bennett, Lucas, Rukura, Sy.... who next? *turns to Tiirak* Dood, you're not gay are you? Tiirak: No way. Meg: You sure?? Tiirak: Yes, I'm sure. Meg: *looks suspicious*

Mommie bought me the Silence of the Lambs yesterday. It's such a good movie, and all the better if you've read the book. The casting for the movie is very good, too... Jodie Foster makes such a cute Clarice Starling. It really pisses me off that Julianne Moore is playing Clarice in Hannibal (which comes out tomorrow, check your local listings ^_~). She is SO not Starling material. But as long as Sir Anthony Hopkins is still good ol' Hannibal Lecter the Cannibal, I'll watch it.

*calls Mom* Wow, I got through....!!! Maybe that's because I cheated and used the associates-only code. How would I know THAT? 9.9

Looks like I get to stay home again today... *feh* Boredom and a half. Amy, if you're home, feel free to phone me or something.

Over and out!

( 10:50 PM ) Yeeeeeeeee! Querida can read my mind and alter my dreamstate!!!!

No one should have to drink 2 litres of cranberry juice in 5 hours. x_X

( 9:21 AM ) Morning blog!

I'm home sick! And it's only the 4th day of semester 2. Seems that whatever the hell was wrong with me before is wrong with me again... pain hurts, you know. T_T;

I've not much to say today... doesn't that suck when you wanna say something but you're outta' stuff to say?

OH!!! GOOD NEWS! AH Issue one is officially coming along WELL! Looks like I won't have to go to version 16... ^___^

( 9:32 PM ) Rukura and Lian... I got bored and messed around with PC Paintbrush... ( 6:41 PM ) *looking from her cat CC to her mug of hot chocolate* CC is staring at the marshmellows like they're evil..... *inches away* ( 6:29 PM ) The Angel Hunter church stainglass window...? ( 4:00 PM ) Okay, I know.... I didn't blog this morning. I was running mighty late. I had to hop fences to get to school. ^_^;;;

What did I do today? Not much. I got yelled at three times and nearly booted out of my history class (why? for drawing! >.<;;), and I nearly fell asleep in comm tech. Thankfully, Mr. Dewitte let us out early.

The layouts for pages 1-4 of AH have been redone. This is version 15... and I'm LIKING it! FINALLY!

Heeey, imouto! Mercutio was the best kyara in that play. I also liked Benvolio, he was cool too (my once-best-friend Brittany took to calling me 'Volio 'cause I liked him so much). Mercutio, tho, had one hell of an attitude, and he was interesting and VERY funny. Too bad he had to die... I'm glad you liked the little snippet. Allow me to post another, just for you! ^__^ This is another bit I quite like.

Benjamin found it facinating to watch him, he was so calm and so... well, he was the very picture of freedom as far as he was concerned. Yes, that was it. Benjamin admired Lokistrant's blasé attitude towards life. Envy, almost.

When one night, Lokistrant was late on his ritual visits to the plantation, Benjamin worried. Could he have been hurt?.... no. This was Lokistrant. He didn't GET hurt. But maybe he just didn't want to see him anymore?

Abandonment. A reoccurring issue. His throat felt dry suddenly. He curled up on his bed, blond hair over his eyes, and wished for morning, when he KNEW that Lokistrant would not come. No second guessing when daylight was involved.

Minutes passed. And quite unexpectedly, Lokistrant was there, startling the boy. Leaning against the far wall, watching quietly, decked out in his usual dark reds and silvers. Benjamin sat up. "How long have you been there? You scared me!"

Lokistrant smiled his usual enigmatic smile, the impression of fangs something no longer unexpected. "Carter, deepest apologies for being so late." The smile was kind, but the voice was final, the tone stating that there was to be no questions asked. Lokistrant held out his hand to the boy. "Care to come with me into town for a while?"

( 7:45 AM ) Morning Blog, part II

Oh! I saw Cast Away over the weekend! It's SO good! Tom Hanks is a surprisingly good actor... I mean, who else can get away with talking to a volleyball so convincingly? And we all know that Amy likes to imagine him naked (Tom, not the volleyball). You should all go see it! NOW!!!! That's an order!

Heehee, now a little quote for fun from a story I am going to re-write.

Benjamin stared across the table at the stranger, worried. The man seemed in his twenties, if that, and had long brown hair that spilled over his shoulders and down his back. His eyes were an unnatural ruby red, and they were very intelligent eyes. Benjamin had learned early in life to be cautious, especially with the smarter ones.

The man crossed his hands on the table in front of him, casual. "Benjamin Carter, correct?"

Benjamin could dect a vague, though unrecognizable, accent. "Yes sir."

"You're fifteen?"

"Yes sir."

"Such a shame to see someone so young forced into... what you're familiar with."

Benjamin sunk down in his chair. "Why are you here? Why did you pull me away from papa?"

To match Benjamin's withdraw from the table, the man leaned forward, and smiled. Benjamin could have sworn he saw fangs. "You remind me of someone."

( 7:22 AM ) Morning blog!

Man, do I feel WEIRD this morning. I'm not sure why, exactly, but I just feel weird. I dunno. I think a certain spiritie dood slept in my bed with me last night.... *points at Bennett* 'Cause I actually slept.

Last night, during a particularly good RP, my ISP died and wouldn't let me back on. I wasn't happy. It was getting SO good, too... *pouts*

I'm so quickly out of things to say.... ^____^;;

O'er an' out!

( 11:17 AM ) Meg's random contemplations I'm considering re-writing Carter's story, which ties in with a fair bit of Lucas' story. Been considering it for a while... Carter's got some serious problems, and he's fun to write because he's so screwed up. He's got a really weird past. His dad was SUCH a jerk.... and up until becoming a vampire, Carter was good little Bennie; never had the nerve to fight his father. *ponders* It's an interesting story. Maybe I'll start on it again after I get home from seeing Cast Away.... ( 10:56 PM ) Okay, people, special announcement!!!!!!! Congrats to Bennett and niichan on the birth of their daughter, Candra Arael Bennett! ^___^ ( 3:32 PM ) Woohoo! I got switched from Casement's class to Apostolou's class! Hooray!!! And I am already SO ahead of all the people in my comm tech class. I seem to be the only one who knows how to use Adobe Photoshop, Illustrator, Publisher, and Premier, as well as Quark and a few other programs. Damn, am I ahead. *_* ( 7:36 AM ) Morning blog!

Wow, I only slept 3 hours and I feel okay.... *falls out of her chair laughing at today's BmB* Cy and Skids are a riot! I hope they do turn out as a couple! *laughing*

New semester starts today. I'm not too happy about this, as I have history and math this semester, and history is my homeroom class. With Mr. Casement. *cries* NOOOO!!! If I get called by my last name ONCE in his class, I'm gonna commit suicide (okay, not really).

My room is now a nice shrine of large wall hangings. On the walls around my bed, I have three Card Captor Sakura wallscrolls (two anime, one manga), and one kick-ASS Prozzak Saturday People promo poster. Thank you, John. *smilesmilesmile*

On Neopets, I am neopoor. Looks like my pets are gonna be eating at the soup kitchen a lot. -_-;

Meg's Art Corner! I know, I've not done much in the way of art lately. You know what's weird? I tend to draw more in school than at home. I think it's because I'm around so many people. Cam's SD Panther form, doodled in MS Paint. I was bored, okay? And it DID turn out cute. Part of my MS Paint family portrait. I still have to finish the pictures for John and Dani, and the kids too if I have enough willpower after screwing around with the stupid program afterwards.

Song of the moment: "When Doves Cry (Fatboy Slim remix) by Depeche Mode and Prince. I love this... don't ask me why. ^_^;

Quote of the moment: "Listen sister, if I want your opinion, I'll BEAT it out of you!" -- Elvira, Mistress of the Dark

Okay, that's it for now. Ja matta ne! *disappears in purple smoke*

( 12:38 PM ) Song of the moment: "Misere by Andrea Bocelli and John Miles. I have a very....expansive taste in music. So sue me. *sings along* ( 11:45 AM ) To Chris-kun: Dooood, I don't hate you, and I'm not mad at you..... jus' chill, man. S'your blog, you can say what's on your mind...

I got my pretty pretty new cladagh ring in the mail yesterday! *kisses said ring* Mi querida gave it to me!! Isn't that sweet? ^__^

I have come to the conclusion that Cam would make a really scary bad guy. Like, not c3... but if CAM were bad. He'd be scary. I mean, he's already got some issues with where his loyalty lies... and he's pretty much infinite in power. Not to mention, after being killed about 200 times, I think he knows the painful ways to kill people. Wonder if niichan (currently my neechan) sees this? Well, at least now he knows about Cam's possibilities for becoming nothing more than a lethal weapon.

I have three neopets! My blue wocky named Cadence, my green shoyru named Lokistrant, and my yellow eyrie Poyania! ^__^

"My December" is © Linkin Park. The art is mine. Don't take. Information on the layout is thus; this is Damien McKinnley, a character of mine whom I've been roleplaying for a little over a year now. He's Simon McKinnley's oldest child, and he's kinda angsty and depressive. Art done in paintchat and added some snow in Photoshop.

Name: Meg Graham AKA: DJ Rabid Armadillo Age: 17 Birthday: May 1st Identifies as: a depressive and obsessive compulsive bisexual artist and writer Hair: black Eyes: grey Bands: Depeche Mode, Iron Maiden Movies: Fight Club, Velvet Goldmine, Hedwig and the Angry Inch Books: As I Lay Dying, Harry Potter, Fight Club, A Clockwork Orange, and the Repairman Jack series. Anime: Fruits Basket, Kare Kano Manga: Fruits Basket, Kare Kano Artists: Takaya Natsuki, H.R Giger, Tony, Firefly Family: Tony, Julian, Dora, Poe, Mina Lives for: Firefly, art, music

Legacy of the Messiah Deviantart

Brittany Deanna Lisa Firefly Dora Becky Dan Julian Tony (blog) Alex Heidi Megan Hana Gerrad Kiran Amy Zalina Katarina Matt Ribby Chris Meagen Poe Tsua Frecklegirl Rikki Mina Blair

Journeys Down Boy Meets Boy Little Machine Litost Satellite Yunga Neko Lean On Me Chronicles of a Drow Sorceress Spider Born Haato no Kagami Arcana Tiger/Tiger Separation Anxiety Nymphs of the West

Aesiraven.com Aesiraven Oekaki Kaki-riffic! Neopets KikiWai b3ta

Name Contact? Speak to me. (smilies)

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voidlitmoon · 5 years ago

Text

Finding Our Stars - Bonus Mini Chapter

AHHHH! AHHHHHHHHH! @sugarglider9603 the next chapter is finally here!!

Alright, chapter two is here, and I dont remember if on chapter one I put a set number of chapters but if I didn't there will be one more after this

Also, so sorry! I had a frick ton of writers block dragging me into a black hole, but I think I got out :)

Ao3 link

Ao3 series link

Chapter 1 Chapter 3

Master Post

Words: 1,271

Summery: ' "It must be snow" Sleep thought aloud, lifting a paw to poke as the slow falling dots "I've only ever heard of it of course. Come on, it doesn't seem to be coming down that heavy, let's keep going."

Pecha looked back at the storm covered sky, nodding "they don't look too bad, it probably won't get to heavy anyways." '

It's time these two found some help, why not surprise them a bit?

Chapter 2

The two had been walking for weeks, avoiding trainers and other pokemon. Exhaustion clawed at their muscles, but neither could get much rest as they journeyed on.

Currently the two lay resting under a great Oak tree, its branches lazily swayed as a frost bitten breeze ran through the leaf baren Winter forest. Pecha glanced at his friend as Sleep slept- ha, the coincidence. Even with Pecha blocking the chill wind though, he would be waking any moment.

The Eevee glanced out at the frostbitten grass, only weeks ago fresh green and swaying in the warm autumn wind, bristle under a cloud covered sky as dusk neared. No matter the chill, it was still beautiful, only hearing about Winter from long staying Eevees.

Pecha looked at his friend again as Sleep started to shift, slowly raising his head. Pecha giggled, setting a small lick on the other's head.

"C'mon, we should get moving" the Eevees shook out their pelts as they stood, side by side as they continued their journey. Something crisp nipped their noses, a cold scent they had never smelled before.

It only took moments after that for something white to start drifting down upon them, Pecha sticking his tongue out curiously, only to jump when one landed.

"Those are cold!" He exclaimed, blinking at the frosty flakes.

"It must be snow" Sleep thought aloud, lifting a paw to poke as the slow falling dots "I've only ever heard of it of course. Come on, it doesn't seem to be coming down that heavy, let's keep going."

Pecha looked back at the storm covered sky, nodding "they don't look too bad, it probably won't get to heavy anyways."

______________________________

It got heavier.

Pecha pressed against Sleep's fur, wind blowing snow into his face. White blanketed the forest floor by a couple of inches already, the snow storm going full force on the pair as they stumbled through the new experience.

Step by step the two shivered against each other, every bush covered heavily in white and no burrow entrances lay beneath tree roots. They were trapped.

"D-do you s-s-see anyth-thing?" Sleep stutter, looking up at the night snow storm's clouds. Pecha just shook his head in response, burying his nose in his partner's fur.

Sleep suddenly stopped, fur bristling. Pecha looked up, fear filling his freezing body as a small figure approached. It looked similar sized to both of the eevees, but even with the two to one advantage, realizations flashed through both minds.

Neither of them had ever battled before.

Sleep still stood strong "who's t-there!" He barked confidently, ignoring the stutter.

The figure paused as though surprised, before suddenly hopping closer, right into view. Pecha and Sleep gaped.

It was another Eevee, but it's fur shone a light silvery gray, similar colored eyes squinting through the snow. It was a shiny Eevee, something they had only ever seen once and only for a short moment before Manti shut it into the house.

"Oh!" A chipper happy voice exclaimed, "what are you doing out here? I knew I saw something, but my friend didn't believe it. Come on, you need to get out of this before you freeze!" Pecha and Sleep exchanging a look.

"Y-your not bring-righing us to a trainer, right?" Pecha questioned, yet the silver Eevee only shook his head sadly.

"No, trainers are always trying to catch us for our fur alone. Really we can only trust each other. But if it's this bad outside I don't want to leave you two outside, that's just wrong" he smiled, turning away and flicking his tail for the two to follow.

And, after a moment of looking at each other, considering the options, Sleep and Pecha followed.

They stood before a great tree, it's massive trunk reaching to the cloud heavy sky. The snow still came down roughly, all three Eevee's coats bright white. Their mysterious cheerful lead shook out his fur before climbing up to a hole in the rough bark, slipping in. After a muffled exchange, the silver Eevee popped his head out again, beckoning below the the snow ridden Eevees to join.

The two shook out their pelts before leaping up, claws sinking into bark as they scrambled up. Pants escaped as they entered, exhausted and freezing cold. They looked up, hoping to thank their two hosts, only to go wide eyed once more.

Their savor was sitting next to another shiny Eevee.

The strange thing was though, this shiny had dark silver fur and eyes, not the common light silver.

Manti would have a fit knowing these two existed, especially knowing they will never have them.

"T-thank you for letting us stay the night" Pecha mumbled, sitting up from him ungraceful landing, Sleep sitting up behind "this is our first Winter, we only ever heard stories.."

Dark silver narrowed his eyes curiously "from the looks of it, you've never been exposed to the outdoors" Light poked him, resulting in Dark jumping in surprise.

"What he means to say, is it looks like you having some trouble. Did your trainer abandon you?" Pecha and Sleep looked at each other. They were these Eevee's guest, they may as well tell the full story.

"Well" Sleep started "it actually all started with me hatching.."

"So we've been travelling, looking for our friend" Sleep finished, pawing at the ground. The two Eevees looked shocked.

"There are farms just for breeding shinies?" Dark looked horrified, Light just shifted his paws in horror.

"Yes" Pecha confirmed, letting out a yawn "like we said, we've only ever seen one shiny Eevee before, so seeing both of you was a shock" the cave-like hole had piles of long grass laid across the floor, Sleep and Pecha curled together as the shinies mirrored. The two had always thought negative of Manti's actions, but they couldn't change it. They hoped their paths and Manti's never crossed again.

"Huh.." Light flicked his tail "so, you have nicknames, Pecha and Sleep, right?" Sleep nodded.

"Ya, when you live around so many Eevee's, it's just easier. Do you?" Dark shook his head "nicknames are a connection to trainers."

Things trailed off after that, with the dark sky starting to brighten outside. The snowy barely calmed throughout their story, so sleep was the only option.

Pecha curled around his partner, who started softly snoring only moments later. Nuzzling into the others pelt gave some comfort, nostalgia of the three curled next to their Pecha bush in a nest of bracken, leafs, and soft grass.

A tear rolled down his cheek, merging into the soft brown fur. They would find their Star, no matter what.

Someday.

______________________________

"Thank you for everything" Pecha purred, rubbing his cheek against Light. Sun shone down on all of their furs as if saying hello for the first time, the heavy snowstorm traces finally disappeared for good. It had only been a few weeks since they met, but both pairs would miss each other.

"No problem, it was berry nice to meet you Pecha!" Light giggled, returning the nudge, turning over to where Dark was training Sleep one last time. It had taken some time for Dark to fully trust them, but after Sleep and Pecha admitted they had never been in a battle before he sought to help teach some basics.

After some final words, Pecha and Sleep waved their tails in goodbye as the two pressed against each other, walking forwards, further away from their past.

Pecha didn't know if their paths would ever cross again, but he couldn't help but have a feeling their stories weren't finished with each other.

#the moon has spoken #my writing #teaming the pieces together #don't copy to another site #emile picani #remy sanders #patton sanders #logan sanders #manticore chimera #winter #snowstorm #freezing #freezing characters #they're okay #ahhh its here!

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gaycey-sketchit · 3 years ago

Note

(Gary anon) Our first crumb of Gary for the year and it's not JN-related. xD If the short ever gets dubbed to English, Veronica seems reprise Ash for it. (Yes, brotherly vibes. It'd be nice if he met Chloe too; the Umbreon thing is still a missed opportunity) Still haven't really played Minecraft yet; I've seen gameplay at least, but I knew since its debut it'd be something that'd resonate with a lot of people just from the style and premise alone. Expanded a lot since then. (It's honestly the

(Part 2) way I can see Serena being brought back without steering up too much of a storm. No matter how hard the writers try, having Ash being anywhere near will distract all focus from Chloe. Plus I rather she returns with the aura of being her own character and not shipping content. Though, Serena x Chloe might bring from this. Can't wait to see "Chloe stole Serena from Ash" discourse. :P ) The only big thing about the episode is that Cassidy and Butch had quit.

(Part 3) Some think the Gatcha is finally gone, but having seen the subs, I kinda doubt it. Journeys is still on a mission to showcase every current Pokemon; it's a little over the halfway point now. Otherwise, you can wait for the dub instead. With how fast they've been shooting out these episodes since the VA change to try and catch up, it's impressive no one hit a snafu with their throats during it. It's been a consistent stride. (I will say, on top of them holding out

(Part 4) on 'High Touch' and Cassidy having her old Pokemon referenced, feeling even more good on seeing Gary's other Pokemon again) Heh, just got back from seeing a Snorlax obliterate someone's poor Oshawott with Hyper Beam on Twitter. (For me, I haven't change my mind on Cynda; but Oshawott is VERY close cause I debating on having Arcanine on board or just wing 2 Fire-types)

Ha, yeah. I'm glad for all those little cameos, it's very cool!

The joy I would feel. I love Veronica Taylor as Ash, and I love how much she still cares about that role even after all these years since the recasting happened.

I really do still want Gary and Chloe to meet. The potential!

Yeah, I was pretty late to the party myself with Minecraft--I first played it in 2016. At first I was kind of hesitant with it because I was used to games with plot and objectives and what are you supposed to do?? But the answer is that you do whatever you want and that turned out to be very cool. And it's come a long way, with all the updates over the years and it's still going. My interest in it waxes and wanes but when I get into it again I tend to get really into it, and part of that is discovering what's changed since I last played. A couple weeks ago I came across some glow squids, a newish mob, for the first time while exploring and was taken aback by how pretty they were. I take a very strong "graphics aren't what makes a good game" stance, and a big part of that is just because people tend to not realize a game doesn't have to look one certain way to be beautiful.

Anyway. Affectionate rambling about Minecraft aside.

Yeah, for sure. Serena's return, when/if it happens, will definitely cause some kind of stir but how bad things get will depend on how that situation is handled. I can't remember if we talked about this before (you may have noticed I have the memory of a goldfish sometimes) but Serena would also be really good for Chloe to talk to, since from what I've heard (still haven't watched much of XY) it took her some time to figure out who she was and the path she wanted to take.

Yeah, Serena deserves to get to be her own person outside of shipping, but the ship stuff is inevitable. I think Chloe/Serena could be a good ship though, I'd at least enjoy seeing the fanart.

It seems like a very good episode for Team Rocket enjoyers! A friend of mine who doesn't even like Journeys (and loves Team Rocket very much) watched it and was talking about it in the Discord they and I are both in last night, and they really enjoyed it and I'm very happy for them about it. I'll probably just watch it when it's dubbed though because Legends Arceus has pretty much taken over my life. (A shame that the gacha is still probably a thing, but alas. Can't win 'em all, as the saying goes.)

It really is amazing, despite my grievances with the TPCI dub I really do respect all the talented hardworking people who make it happen (except I don't respect Sarah Natochenny anymore after she defended NFTs on Twitter, but I do think she's a good VA).

Yeah, I think there's hope for seeing more of Gary's Pokemon!

Oh, that poor Oshawott. Ow. My Pokemon have taken some pretty hard hits themselves but not HYPER BEAM.

I ended up choosing Rowlet myself! I thought about shaking things up a bit from my usual tradition of choosing the grass starter on my first playthrough, like how the game itself deviates from the formula, and I almost went with Oshawott but my heart said to choose the grass starter and that's what happened. (Oh, I am a firm believer that having a balanced team is secondary to having as many beloveds as possible. I go through most of my playthroughs with at least two grass-types, and on this one I have Budew and Rowlet c: )

#Andrew answers #Gary anon #under a readmore because this got very long

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pointthefingerblametheother · 4 years ago

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First of all I don't hate you either. These posts are coming from a place of love. True love deeper and longer lasting than any romance book could portray. I love you more than you let me show you or that you would accept when I tried showing you anyways. I thought you stopped loving me months ago. But really, you stopped loving yourself and couldn't see how much I truly do love you either. Seeing you depressed only made me more depressed and vice versa. It sucks.. I couldn't show my love after trying so hard and getting rejected just trying to even have my arm around you; I'd get rejected day after day. - I would take you back someday. But you have to learn to love yourself again, first. And not just chase for someone else's love (fake or not), running from your own love for yourself. Our own depressions had been feeding each other's. And we should have went in to get help sooner, but we didn't know any better... After the first Covid shot I felt even worse and my daily migraines have been even more powerful for me I wanted to escape my own body and mind.. not you. It's been absolutely terrifying losing myself during this pandemic... So dark and cold inside my own mind. I didn't know how to get help (The Nice app just told me they didn't have the meds they thought I needed and I felt worthless ever since last June when I tried to get help)

Only you can get help for yourself, if you want relief from your struggles, but I can try to help that process if you would like a little guidance. I love you, but I can't force you to love yourself. You have to want it yourself, for yourself. - I was paralyzed by my own depression and rejection. I got tired of trying to be good enough for you and still being told to go in the other room every day. Yet, somehow I still love you more than anything on this Earth. I'm trying to learn to love myself again. - I was depressed. Hating myself. And then you went and left me for it.. and now all I feel is emptiness inside without you by my side. If you only knew the guilt I've been feeling inside, unable to let out for leaving RTI; when you promised me everything was going to be okay... I know you only left me because of my depression and the lack of love you were feeling yourself, you wanted someone who seemed happy and to feed off their energy. I don't hate you for doing that. But I still never stopped loving you even though I couldn't love myself and it hurts to feel given up on.. twice now due to my depression. I haven't been able to think straight ever since my panic attacks started at RTI and that mixed with depression and made every day agony. Not your fault, you can't feel what's inside of me. I'm seeing a doctor and getting help soon. I want to fix things. I'd compromise anything with you, honestly. I still have gift cards for Sugar Factory saved.. but I am so heartbroken that had to sell the engagement ring I bought you, just to pay for a down payment now for a place to move to.

Listen to Lost in the Woods from Frozen 2 to know how I'm feeling before proceeding reading the rest of this post. One of the last movies we ever got to go out and watch together over a year ago, you stopped wanting to watch movies with me once the pandemic started... We used to do Redbox and all that stuff before we got depressed.

If you end up going through any of my other posts, just know they're in reverse order because it's a blog. I also have OCD so I edit and touch them up too much and add too much to them. I can't do that or delete all the messages I over sent you. Sorry about all those messages, honestly. I was going through lots of withdrawal: Crystal Love, Video Games, AND Caffeine. So yeah, I got nasty like when someone gets off hardcore drugs or smoking cigarettes. That's what it felt like and I'm sorry I let all that out on you and all the horrible things I said about myself. I'm sorry you didn't feel the love I was giving anymore. I honestly didn't feel loved by you either. Or that you even loved yourself anymore. Everything was about murders and people having painful life experiences every conversation I had with you and you were watching all these dating shows that made me uncomfortable because it seemed you'd rather watch them than accept the love I was trying to show you. You wouldn't even let me sit next to you or put my arm around you. When we went to the mall you wouldn't even hold my hand anymore like you used to... You weren't being yourself at all.

I want to get back to who we were together before the pandemic.

Before you left, I honestly loved you more than life itself. Would have killed myself if it would have made you happy.. That.... THAT is why I was speechless when you said you were leaving me. My heart SHATTERED before you. It killed me inside to hear the person that I love more than my own self wanted to leave me for someone else after 7 1/2 years. I was so sad with you being unresponsive to all my signs of love for the past few months. I honestly sat in that room for days on end debating suicide because I'd been getting rejected to even be allowed to sit on the couch with you for weeks... While you texted away with another guy? I honestly almost killed myself over this because I thought you just hated me because of my depression. The only words that saved me were when you said "I don't hate you". I don't know why that saved me but it did. It sure felt like you hated me. How do you leave someone who loves you more than themselves, more than life itself...?

You stopped telling me your wants. You stopped telling me your desires. It felt like you only wanted me out of the room and to get yourself off to sleep multiple times a day and try to sleep for days on end, even sleeping through your work shifts only to stay up all night to make up work. It felt like you wanted nothing to do with me. And it hurt me. Every. Single. Day. I used to be the one you turned to for that kind of intimate stuff.. and you seemed to want nothing to do with me anymore. I felt like yesterday's trash for months, so I turned to Twitch to try and make other people feel better since you stopped receiving my actions of love. Just being friends with people since I couldn't meet new friends in person. Only friends. Never thought once of not loving you or pursuing anyone else.

I just barely finally started to love myself and bought the PS5 and then the NES (the NES was an impulse buy, trying to do some retail therapy like you used to do in healthy amounts). But realized I was still addicted to Overwatch, because I had a feeling you were talking to another guy and that made me even more depressed. I figured I'd rather play video games than kill myself. When I realized it was someone who also pretended to be my friend I wanted to kill myself even more. I wanted to kill him too. But it was your choice to fuck me over. When all I did was love you too much and get rejected to the point all you did was talk to him about my shortcomings from being depressed for over two years from leaving my job FOR HAVING PANIC ATTACKS... Leo doesn't love you. I can forgive you for leaving me for him, but you also have to be able to forgive yourself. You were in a vulnerable state and he took advantage of you. He just wanted to steal you away while you were depressed as an easy trophy.. He wants you to keep needing him, and he will do anything to keep you hanging on so he has a chance to take you away for himself (not for you or your best interests).

Opposed to me where I have always wanted to raise you up every time I could muster up the courage to try to cheer you up again.. I'd get rejected yet again. Every time I tried playing board games, watch TV with you.. the games sat on the table for WEEKS on end... collecting hair, collecting dust... and you'd reject me day after day to play board games saying "not today, maybe tomorrow, maybe next weekend, etc." You stopped eating and making food for yourself and for us and sharing that weight even though I tried encouraging you... And then you got mad at me one day for not making food, after making it for us for the 5th day in a row... I asked you to please make something for us and you decided to starve instead... It fucking hurt. I love you Crystal but you let yourself go and you decided to chase a guy lying to you rather than the man whose loved you and has been with you and committed only to you for over 7 1/2 years.

We both got depressed, both needed help, but couldn't help the other enough to get them to a doctor. Sorry... I never stopped loving you, even though you hurt me so bad. So yeah I started buying things for myself to cope. Spent too much and you stopped seeing the things I was buying you and gestures I was trying to do for you and for us. But it doesn't have to be the end of us, Crystal. Neither of us could control our depression on our own without seeing a doctor, so I can't hate you for leaving.

I tried changing the topics we would watch, to happier things and watching shows with you that were not so dark, but it seemed every time I tried talking to you you'd rather be messaging someone on your phone than talking to me about anything at all. When we went out and played pokemon you'd have side conversations with Leo instead of showing me you cared about me on our date nights.. I tried many topics to change what we watched and tried encouraging you to look into your health, but I forgot about my own health and you started talking with another guy behind my back. It was pretty to do such a thing to someone who loves you more than life itself... But he'd also been badgering you for months to just let him back into your life, the sick bastard.

When I was messaging after you left I could only focus on the negative about myself because I was depressed (and have been for months, hating myself for having to deal with companies rejecting me for months.. and not being able to get close to you while my search for work was absolute Hell. You pushed me away a LOT). You really didn't deserve all the messaging and hearing me beat myself up. You have been depressed too. I tried explaining all the things you needed help with too, but it was way too much all at once and I'm sorry. Sick people can't fix other sick people - One of them needs to at least get help first. I'm glad you gave me a chance to go get help. I hope you can do the same for yourself and take the time to love who you are.

She always tried her best to make every day feel better for me... No matter how bad it was for me (or herself) inside. If you're out there reading this right now, clearly you still care. Take your time and feel free to read this window into my mind. it won't be easy to get through, but I still love you, Crystal, okay? Please relearn to love yourself. Sick people can't help sick people, but I'm working on myself and getting better; if you want help from being depressed I'd be glad to help you get you the help you need.. but you have to actually want it. For yourself. Don't do it for me. Sorry I got so depressed and stopped caring about myself. It must have been hard for you to watch... I know it was hard for me to watch you going through the same thing. Neither of our faults, okay? We just have to learn to care about ourselves and our own wants and desires. The pandemic's been so long I can't remember the last time I styled my hair or put on cologne (I used to put product in my hair every single day.), or you put on perfume or lipstick... I miss those days. Check out my new photo below this post, too. I'm trying hard to love myself again. 😁

Take all the time you need to read every word. We were both very depressed and confused when you left, both being depressed for a year in isolation. Something needed to change for us to get better. I understand that. Maybe some day we can get back to going to shows and traveling the US or the world together like we always wanted.

I'm trying to focus on me now though, so we actually have a chance. I need to take a break from only thinking about what I think you want or trying to make you happy with the little things. The little gifts and stuffedies things don't add up if you don't love yourself enough to want them for yourself anyways. (I'm glad I still have all mine from you. But.. because they're mine from you. Not because you gave them to make me happy. Band aids don't last. We both needed real healing from our depressions. They've just been feeding on each other's and we turned into horrible monsters towards each other.) I don't hate you for it though. I turned gross too. I'm getting better though. 🙂

Gifts and kind gestures don't fix depression though. I needed professional help to get through Covid Isolation. But. She gave up on me instead of telling me to get help or explaining as someone out of my own mind that I stopped doing chores. It wasn't a choice. Depression is a mental disorder. It disables our ability to be happy and do things that make others happy that we love. We say and do things we don't mean. It's the way life is... We're only human. You gave me everything I thought I wanted and way beyond. But nothing fixes depression other than getting professional help from doctors. And that needs to be our own decision to make for ourselves if we are worth that kind of investment for our own quality of life; we have to love inside our bodies no matter what, and we only get one body and one mind. Let in; let doctors help. - I will help you if you decide you want the help, but the decision to GET help needs to be your own choice, as I have also made my own choice to get help on my own.

I wish I could have gotten help sooner so I could treat her the same way sheas trying to treat me, before she got depressed, too. But stuffed animals and gifts weren't going to save her either. The proof is in the bag I got her.. it made her so happy to get it but her own depression she just wanted to escape into it rather than face her own love in herself. It happened to me with video games, too. Babe I get it we both fell for depression at the same time.

Gifts are just little bandaids, and ours were holding back cracked dams of depression... I wish I could have done like I used to do without this dark cloud hanging over me not letting me be myself. Covid was a horrible year for us.. as individuals, both. All my brain wanted to do was escape my depression and so all I did was play games instead of getting real professional help, that I actually needed. No healing shows to go to or musicals - that's our love language.

This damn pandemic... I just want to go to shows to be happy again... But the thought of going alone is heartbreaking. It's really hard with E3 going on right now. Lots of great memories flooding in. None of what happened in our fallout means we meant to leave the way we did; you left with practically no notice and it made no sense.

Not to mean to beat a dead horse, I KNOW you don't want to hear this or accept this. I don't care if you end up single or dating someone else on your own merit, but Leo is not good for you and he is NOT a friend. He only wants you as a trophy as "the girl that got away". You are an amazing woman, Crystal. 7 1/2 Years I know what the good times AND the bad times are like and I wouldn't trade them for a minute without you. but Leo worked on you for months. He really did. You had no idea, after being manipulated so long. Try to look back to the beginning of how annoyed as fuck you were that he was messaging you again. You told me how mad you were "some guy" was messaging you, but you didn't tell me who. I wish you did, but how could you know this would happen unless it's happened with him before? But you also let him. You gave him the chance. I tried early to help you and you refused. I warned you the first time you said he was bothering you that I would help if you wanted me to tell him to go away... But you let the bastard talk you in to leaving anyways he started planting seeds in your mind months ago and worked on you slowly over time. I saw the messages because you have always told me you have nothing to hide from me. Only reason I ever looked.. I KNOW and I COULD SEE you didn't want to leave like this; one month before the pandemic ended... We both knew the end of the pandemic was near. But there's no helping you when you decide to leave.. no matter how badly I wanted to... I couldn't convince you otherwise. I know how you get by now after 7 1/2 years. You had a flare up and his words hit at the right time after badgering you for months... I should have let you go earlier so you could learn earlier but I was trying to protect you.

This is a lesson you needed to learn on your own though.. Leo is a manipulator and will never change that he is one. He's not even a friend, please get away from him as early on as you can. I don't mind if you find another guy that actually cares and is in it FOR YOU, or if you choose to stay single gonna while and reflect on what's happened in order to heal. If you don't get away, he will jump at you again the moment you let your guard down again. I know people like this (women) from my own past. I will not hold it against you for being convinced out of our relationship or hate you for it. We were both depressed, trying to break the cycle some way, some how. Come back to me; talk to me when you're ready. I will not force you, you need to decide and learn this on your own. Even if you just need to talk to me as a friend.

I hope it truly isn't the end for us... I'm not hopelessly obsessed, just addicted to your love and then you were gone cold turkey. The same day I then quit gaming and caffeine. I am sorry my withdrawals came out on you.. I want to give you a window into our past if you ever just so have the desire to look here again on your own. Some of these posts I have made already I forgot you might have been able to see so... Sorry if anything hurts you. Not intentional. Just venting at points. This hasn't been easy on me. I love you and couldn't call this the end, just yet. Not like this. I saved all the memories in the memory box, when you're ready to go through them again some day.

I do hate my body though for not physically being able to hold back messaging.. Like I can’t shut the fuck up when you leave cold turkey like this. You've done this twice now so I know you didn't mean it. Sorry Crystal. You didn’t deserve that. My love was so strong for you I forgot to love myself... And let you go. I know you couldn't handle seeing me and my depression day after day.. You couldn't fix me and you felt defeated. I needed to see a doctor to wake out of my depression. I wish I could go back and delete the messages. Those last few messages I just wanted you to get help with your thyroid. For you, not for me. Even though reading them they did come off like I'm trying to be an asshole. I wasn't trying to. Just feral after covid depression and being hit with you leaving without talking through things, that's all. It came off wrong, it was a bad time for me to try to help you while you were so upset.

I wouldn't have known you didn't mean this breakup to happen if you hadn't told me about your password in the exact way you had at least 25 times in our relationship with the exact words: "This is my password. Remember it. If there ever comes a time when you need to get in, use it; I have nothing to hide." I heard it singing that night in my mind... I KNEW something wasn't right. I had to listen to your past words and take your past words seriously after you saying it so many times. I did it for you; not for me. I only made sure I got caught because I hated myself for looking... Even though I was only following your own words because I love you and I cared enough to remember you telling me you had nothing to hide.

Maybe some day we can be mature enough to actually talk about things again.

I will be getting medication soon to help with the pain. I didn’t mean to take out all my frustrations on you, a lot has been built up inside me during the pandemic and I burst open with the cut of you walking away cold turkey. I hope you can find a doctor for your thyroid and other therapy you will need to get through this. Don't forget I love you and that I'd still do anything for you; even after all of this.

If you need help and don't know where else to go, talk to me. I'll help you through anything but you have to be willing to listen. - and if you don't know where to find me anymore... Talk to your mom. She should help us reconnect if you can't find your way on your own. I'll be waiting, but also focusing on bettering myself, too. Take care of yourself, love.

I hope you have the ability to forgive me some day. We had good times, too. Mostly good times. But that doesn’t make up for a year of depression and isolation. If you apologize I will have a lot to think about. But, I know... I will never forget you. What we had before he started interfering. I should have known when you were so hesitant to add him in PoGo. And then weeks later "someone" was bothering you on Facebook but you wouldn't tell me who. You said you could handle it on your own telling him to go away. I trusted you and dropped it. I let you handle it because I trusted you and can see your strength, but isolation made both of us weak. Thats where this all stemmed from... You sat and debated so long to add him in PoGo or not and I never understood...

But I understand why now... At least the tip of the iceberg. I saw months of his prying and prying thanks to your foresight of telling me you never had anything to hide from me. Thank you for telling me that. I knew something was wrong. I never meant it as a harmful act or selfish, only to help you. I made it look selfish and said that I did it for myself to try and protect you. I thought it would be easier on you to hate me... But even then

Later the next day you said "I don't hate you" from the bottom of your heart. I know that was you talking to me, not the panic. Not the entranced Crystal that couldn't control leaving. You didn't want to leave, but your body wouldn't let you stop and think. Neither did I.. I was so confused how you'd leave so much behind with places starting to open up, seemingly so easily. But we can't see when we are being manipulated by ourselves. We need others to tell us and try to help, so I did. I gave it all I could.

I was only doing what you always asked of me, that if you needed help I knew how to get in. That was always so important to you... Talk to me when you're ready.

I'd still love to go to this with you. So you can go for yourself. Doesn't and shouldn't be going for me until you're ready again. But, we owe it to ourselves to go and enjoy the things we love again. You wrote that paper on them and broke down their music. Don't forget that and that you love these bands too. We talked so much about their new songs as they were coming out. Do it for yourself. But yes I want to go too. Just not .. alone.

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