#i've been giffing such random things the past couple of days as if i don't have other things to gif like teacher yuri

[khaopybara]

The orange cat is not impressed.

[letmetellyouaboutmyfeels]

Just in case you needed a laugh today - my (incredibly random) notes I took whilst reading Masque of Shadows:

*notices all the little writer things to show what the characters look like, etc, so as not to exposition everywhere*

Me: EEEEEEEEEE! 😍

*~*

Love me a good badass spymaster, huzzah.

*~*

Pheonix feathers are FIREWORKS!

*~*

No trauma or needless explanation of sexual or gender orientation - it just IS. 10/10, no notes.

*~*

I'm weak for green eyes (Dean Winchester, my beloved) but ma boy Eddie Diaz has turned me to brown so I FEEL YA, MATTHIAS!

*~*

The regent of Serenissima had been stabbed ten times.

Me:... Well, that's not good.

Also me: It's the whole point of the story, dingus.

*~*

Where was this book last year when my fiancé proposed, I want an engagement dagger!

In his defense, he has bought me so many books over the years, so. That's awesome.

*~*

Careful with that past tense, Matthias, Lyria isn't an idiot.

*two seconds later*

Told ya.

*~*

Oh, Jacques, you poor puppy. 😂

*~*

'It wasn't endearing' my ass, bless your heart, Matthias.

*~*

*finishes chapter twelve*

*cackles*

*~*

Nooo, Festivity!

*squints* Hang on...

*~*

See, I guessed Allegra, but then got all up in my head when Matthias accused Piper!

*~*

*Sapphire mocks Jacques getting railed*

Matthias: flustered

Me: *cackles*

*~*

Plague doctor mask for the win

*~*

Jasmine for White Masque. 💔 (My mum died some years ago and her favourite scent was jasmine)

*~*

I, too, struggled in maths

*~*

Inara! 😍 #fireflymybeloved

*~*

Ha! See, never trust the kid. 😅

*~*

I knew it was Antonio! Vindication dot gif!

I've been tearing up over this ask for a couple days now, and I considered not answering it so I could keep it to myself forever, but I wanted you to know how much it was appreciated.

I've been really struggling lately with my original novels. To be honest I've struggled for years with the idea that I'm not good enough as an original writer, creating my own worlds, and summer is when my seasonal depression hits so I'm not doing great in general (life has also been kicking my ass in some other ways but I'm not going to get into that).

I decided after talking it over with some trusted people that I would take a break. Focus on finishing my planned fics, so that I still feel I'm accomplishing something, and then when I wrap everything up for Halloween, I go back to my novels and see how I'm feeling. I don't like sharing all this publicly, but I know I have been making noises for a year now about trying to self-publish - creating a Patreon, submitting to lit agents again, making a separate blog under my professional name - and I feel like people deserve to know why I haven't yet delivered on those plans. I never want to be someone who's just all talk.

And I want you to understand just how very deeply I appreciate you sharing your reactions as you read my original story. I really love the whole cast of characters, some of whom like Festivity have lived in my head for over a decade. To know that you actually read and enjoyed it means the world. I'll be coming back to this ask and your lovely comments, and I hope it'll help me, come October, to feel ready to devote myself to my novels again.

Oh, also, my love and condolences about your mom. Jasmine is a smell I associate with a few different loved ones as well as clean, elegant spaces, and while I love how some cultures treat death as a celebration (Dia de los Muertos, Irish wakes) and not something to fear, I liked the idea of Serenissima, this generally party-heavy city, taking a break from all that in order to give the memory of the dead solemnity and dignity. I hope it was overall positive to have that part of the story remind you of her. ❤️

[darkdoverpseeker]

🕊

i'm sunny, 30 horrifying years old, she/her! currently looking for a writing partner 21+ with a high comfortability with chatting about our muses, long replies, consistent but random reply times, and a general sense of controlled chaos. i've been rping since gaiaonline was at its peak, so i'd call myself a seasoned writer, lol. my rp style is fast paced but long term- my other rp verse is currently on year 3 for reference! my reply length is flexible, i tend to match what i'm given in terms of buildable content, but i don't do replies less than 2 paragraphs. i write in either past tense 3rd person or present tense 3rd person. i'm not picky about using gifs or strictly just text, but i do prefer that we match, so that one person isn't using gifs while the other only uses text. i typically take at most couple days to reply, but i am always awake and therefore always reachable to plot, chat, or complain!

fandomless/OCxOC, will occasionally do AUs of fandoms, but i never write for or against canons if i can help it.

i prefer to settle on a plot with my partner, but the overall vibe i'm currently seeking is dark, plotty, angsty, sexy goodness. would love something with kidnapping gone wrong, failed ransom, crime in general, moderate-heavy D/s elements. a note- when it comes to my muses, i tend to write my males as subs, while my ladies, enbies, and genderfluid folx are typically more flexible/more likely to be written as doms or switches. i love trauma, hurt/comfort in the enemies stage, i'm the only one who can hurt you vibes, stockholm syndrome, fearplay, bondage, and dubcon. the only things i won't write are bodily fluids (moderate blood, ie knifeplay, biting, is fine), pregnancy, noncon, underage, and babysitter/nanny plots (not very sexy when you actually are a nanny lmao)

i have a deep backlog of muses to dip into (24 at last count), but in general i prefer to create new muses, especially for 1x1 rping. i tend to lean towards muses around my own age (25-35), with an assortment of genders and sexualities. i have no preference regarding writing for specific genders, but i don't write with people who clearly DO have a preference. don't come to me and only want me to write dominant amab muses, especially if you only play submissive afab muses.

like this or shoot me a message on tumblr and i'll assume it's cool to come and check you out!

like if interested!

[ineedahugesticktobeatyou]

Random toughts 911 Lone Star Edition.

Post-episode 4x01 I have decided to approach this season of LS with as much detachment fandom-wise as I can, meaning a "yes" to the pretty gifs and a "no" to most meta!post and fanfics of the hour. Because I remember too well how the last summer went for me and I don't really want a repeat. 

See, last summer, I watched the fourth and last season of Roswell New Mexico and I had an horrible time lol

It was really frustrating to watch how people treated Alex's absence and entire existence on and off screen. It was an eye-opening experience to realize how a character can be heavily misunderstood and mistreated if it doesn't serve the main protagonist or the main story in the way some people want. 

So, me being aware of this, I knew that Carlos' secret would have been accepted poorly. I don't particularly like the storyline because I find it unoriginal but, again, LS doesn't shine for his unpredictability (unless it about the most gross rescue of the week possible 🐸). In the show universe though, I can understand Carlos' actions e I don't have a problem justifying the reasoning who led two lost, unhappy, and scared kids to make that decision. We know Iris' troubles and we know Carlos' mindset in regards to the relationship with his parents. Every single one of his insecurities stem from the chasm that his coming out created with his parents, who loved him but didn't know how to treat their son's truth. It's not a situation who inspires the best decisions 🤷🏻‍♀️ 

I agree that it's hard to believe that Carlos kept this secret for so long but I can buy it, with a little effort on my part, because this is a character that doesn't talk about his problems unless it's inevitable. 

Now, with eight weeks before a possible wedding's date, it's inevitable. Before this, I can imagine Carlos wondering for a right moment to speak but never finding it, what with all that happened to T.K. and to them as a couple. And let's be real, in real life the more you put off a thing the more you end up not doing it at all. It's a very human thing. And this is the real problem with certain people treating Carlos like a cheater and paragoning him to Alex or to the poor parenting of Owen. 

For a side of the fandom Carlos is wrong and terribile the very moment he steps out of the line of the "perfect boyfriend" he has to be for T.K. The same people who justify every mistake of T.K., with his past and trauma and everything in between, don't allow the same courtesy to Carlos. Because everything has to be about T.K.: his storylines, the Tarlos ones, even Carlos'. G*d forbid, the attention shifts just for a minute to someone else's mess. 

Carlos has a moment of doubt after they get drugged? How unfair for T.K., how dare Carlos? Carlos made a rash decision and got married "in name only" when he was young and afraid and struggled to find the right moment to tell T. K? How awful, he's a cheater, he doesn't want to marry T.K., he's the worst. Carlos, the one who has been steady and present and never wavered in his commitment to T.K., even when T.K. ran and self-sabotaged at every turn for a long time. Do you see my problem with this kind of famdom's reasoning?

Even more 'cause I don't think T.K. has to let this go without telling how he feels, considering it's a huge secret to be faced with. But, at the end of the day, if he can make sense of things and understand that it's not a menace to him in any way, how people - who knows it's just another insane and useless road step to the tarlos' wedding - can't? I mean, it's not like we are talking about a romantic ex, it's a platonic relationship stranded in the past, it poses no real threat to T.K. 

It's a dumb storyline, but if it paves the way to a Carlos heavy string of episodes I'm gonna be happy. I've waited a long time to see him shine for himself and not only as half of Tarlos. Everything else it's going to fall in line and lead to the wedding and everyone will be good with Carlos again. Like with Alex in Roswell NM. Ah, the power of the ships… 

[eddiediaaz]

It's been 8 months and I still haven't been able to get back into editing, so annoyed with myself. I really want to get back into it, but whenever I open photoshop I just sit there even with ideas. I have a couple of ideas but they are parallel text scenes or just text scenes and no actual..I don't know what you call them exactly edits? haha. But yeah I find that most of my blog is just text scenes or just a scene coloured and up close, all the "same" and kinda boring, I guess? I don't know I'm just so stuck with myself and don't know how to get myself past it and make amazing work like you and everybody else, perhaps it's cause I can't picture things in my mind I have to actually see it first? Sorry this is totally random and out of nowhere just needed to rant lol

hey anon, i'm glad you felt comfortable sharing this with me <3

first things first: parallel & scene gifsets are not boring! people love those. the proof: they ALWAYS get more traction than creative gifs, without fail. every single time! they're absolutely edits anyway! coloring and sharpening scenes is not always easy, there's often a fair amount of work put into it.

i've also been lacking inspiration these past couple weeks/months, to be honest. i have a lot of ideas and even requests, but i've pretty much only done the scene gifs and parallels because it's all i can handle right now. that's all i felt like doing, so it's what i did. if it's what you're in the mood for, absolutely go for it. it could very will spark inspiration for more creative sets after some time, too!

it's really hard to picture something, even if you have ideas, when you're lacking inspiration. so i think if you're in the mood for basic gifs, then by all means make these basic gifs. it's still creating! and the inspiration will come back one day.

also who cares if it's "boring", if you like making them! gifmaking is an art form, whatever kind of gif you make, and you should indulge in whatever sparks ideas and inspiration, even if it's more basic stuff. we should always keep in mind that art is art even if it's basic and simple. basic and simple is valid and important too, and it doesn't mean you won't get back to more creative stuff eventually! good luck 🥰

[antigoneidk]

Everything I wanted to say:a letter to you|t.h.

a/n: I had this idea in my head for days but I was only able to write it now hehe. I hope you like it and I am sorry for any mistakes💞*gif is not mine*

warnings:fluff, fluff, a lit bit of angst(only if you are like me)

My love, my light, my life.

I have no words to describe how much in love i am with you. How fast my heart beats when i feel you're around. How my butterflies dance inside my stomach whenever you touch me. How I melt right in your hands everytime you squeeze my body, keep me safe in your arms. How the world stops spinning when you kiss me with those lips, that fit mine so perfectly.

I was convinced that true love didn't exist. That my parents kept lying to me through fairytales with princess waiting the prince with the white horse to take them away, show them love and affection. And both of them will fall for each other.

But as I was growing up and looked around me, everything proved them wrong. People are cruel, full of hate, shameless, unaware of how bad they can damage others. I just locked myself in four walls tired of it. Tired of not having someone to talk to. A real friend. An honest person, pure, innocent, loving, caring, kind, generous. The opposite of the majority.

And then you came into my life.

I am not gonna be able to forget the first time that I saw your face. You were smiling bright, the whole street lighting up. Your eyes were a little smaller. Your nose and cheeks had turned to a light red, as you were speaking to some people, fans. I wish I was closer that moment to picture in my head every detail, to paint your face and put it next to me each time you are gone. And you wore that blue sweater, my favourite one which I'm wearing right now, and that pair of black jeans, always looking good at you. Your hair were curly and every ten seconds your fingers were running through.

I heard your laugh from across the street, a sound that was playing in my mind for days. I had stopped there by accident before I searched around me curious from where the sound came from. That was all it took for me to just stand there and watch you, hug and smile to others, joking around, laughing, giving autographs. I wondered how you would smell every time you crossed your arms around somebody. I liked that you were happy, open handed, polite to them. I knew that you were different that day and even though you might not believe it,is the truth.

And then you glanced at me, taking my breath away. It was like the time had stopped, the world paused and the only ones with the power to move and talk were just the two of us. I felt your brown eyes looking at my soul, my life, my choices, my mistakes. I got embarrassed and scared. Scared that the fairytales were based on real life, that I might have found my prince. I know it sounds stupid, and now that I'm thinking of it, yes it is. But for a second I had that fantasy. My brain and heart stopped working, all my senses gave up. It was only you.

Tom then you smiled at me. ME. My walls that I was building for years fell down with that smile making me feel weak, not being able to process this. I've never had someone to look at me the way you did that day, I thought I was dreaming. Maybe it wasn't something special for you, you had people's eyes on you 24/7 but for me, you were the first. That's why I stood still in my place. I tried to enjoy every second.

I smiled back at you shyly and pulled my hair back, such a girly move. You looked down still with your smile at your face, then back at me and I swear I was ready to explode from all my emotions. I wanted to cry from happiness that finally something changed in my life but also from sadness because I knew that was for only a few seconds. Reality hit my face hard when a couple of men started shouting your name and dragging you to a different direction away for me. And that's when I said to myself that "it was too good to be true" and walked with tears in my eyes. If anyone else was at my place maybe they wouldn't care about it but I did.  I lived on the sidelines for so long and I had a chance,  I thought I had a chance but I guessed that i didn't deserved it.

And the time when I felt your hand on my shoulder and I saw you standing in front of me I pushed aside all of my negative thoughts and questioned if I was daydreaming and turning crazy. I felt my skin under my clothes burning from your touch, my heart losing control and my brain not working, only my eyes watching and my nose smelling your fragrance. I wanted to hug you just so I can smell it for the rest of my life. Then you talked to me asking if I was okay, your eyes following a teardrop making it's way down to my cheek and I felt so stupid that a boy, a stranger was seeing me like these. Do you remember that?

"Yes" he whispered to himself and turned the page to the other side wanting to read more.

Fast forward to our first date. I was so anxious all day, spending majority of my time in front of a mirror changing outfits, makeup, hair styles not satisfying with anything. I was turning to that teenage girl I always made fun of. I was making circles around the house practicing how I would act around you, how would I speak and what I would say.

You were the sweetest man I could ask for, such a gentleman. I couldn't get my eyes off of you, so confident and handsome, talking about the most silliest things and making me laugh all night with your jokes and random comments for the topic I was talking about. You held my hand and kept listening to me and laughed at my miserably jokes. I was the luckiest woman that night and to the ride back at my house I remember feeling so sad that I had to say goodbye to you even though i wanted to spent more and more time with you. By surprise you didn't stop and continued to drive.

We got to our favorite place now, yours back in the day. I never knew why you did that and although I want so desperately to know I'll never ask. Let that kind of mystery follow. We sat down and kept a deep conversation starting about our past. Well mine. I was battling with my self if I should had open to you or not and I'm glad I did. You listened carefully to what I was saying and held my hand the entire time, squeezing when I was about to cry. You have no idea how much strength you gave me with that touch and how much courage to keep going. I wanted you to know everything that I had been through. It was the only way to know if you would stay and not leave me alone. I was terrified but prepared to fight this feeling of loneliness again.

You kissed me.

I get butterflies only from thinking of it, of our first kiss.  Your lips covered mine and our tongues met for the first time exploring each other. Your hands held my cheeks and pulled me closer to you, giving me the warmth I was lacking for years. My hands shaking touched yours after a long time not wanting to let them go and the sensation drove me insane. My heart was exploding inside my chest, my blood was running through my veins faster that lightning, my brain was hurting from the situation and was wondering if this was actually true. I pulled away and opened my eyes. I found yours shut your lips pressed to one another. I thought that you regretted this, that it was stupid and that I seduced you to do this. Your half smiled then showed up, my heart skipped a beat, and you said that this was better than your imagination.  My inner child raised from deep down myself. I wanted to jump around, laugh and shout, kiss you again, hold you, hug you, feel you.

Days, months passed away and you stood by my side, making me the happiest person alive. I only had to listen to your voice and everything bad disappeared within a second. It's like you have that superpower to fight the dark inside me so easily. I admired you and still do to this day. I love how you push your problems to the side and listen to mine, it sounds selfish right? I'm always here to listen to you baby not matter what and yes there were times you opened up to me. I wondered if I helped you or not.

"My love.."Tom laughed and grabbed the other piece of paper from the table."..you always do" he mumbled.

But I wish you shared your problems more. I am willing to help you or even just listen to you if you just want to get rid of anything. You are a strong man but sharing your feelings is important, you are not bothering me you know.

Can you recall our first time? Damn I would never forget that, from the way you touched every single inch of my skin to the way I felt at the end. Your kisses and hands got me to placed I had never been before, so dreamy. You whispered to me how much you loved me and how i changed you to becoming a better person. I remember every of your words and I can still your voice clearly next to my ear as our bodies move in sync. You were my first.

If you only knew how much you mean to me. How my view for the world changed because of you. How I met incredible people through you. How I learnt to love, respect, share, laugh, fight, adore, live. How you teached me to finally see the colors around me. How life can be  hard, yet awesome. There are nights that we fight, we say things anger makes us too. But by the end of the day I know that I love you so much and that we can get over this. I try to remind my self every night that there are so many reasons to be happy and not sad for a foolish reason. And that's when I turn to you and open my arms for you to hug me and sleep calmly. But you are already waiting for me to do so.

This is my letter to you. I wish I could say those things to you but we both know that i get caught up by my feelings. We would have been talking for hours.

I am not going to be able to stop loving you and that's my weakness. I don't wanna see you cry or heartbroken and you make me melancholic when you are like that. If I could only make you feel the way you make me. I am not the best but I'm trying to I swear and I'll continue to do so every day till the last one.

I love you.

Sincerely yours,

y/n

He wiped away some tears that escaped his eyes and got himself up from where he was sitting to get to you. You had been waiting for him in your bedroom, with roses all around, food and a movie to watch. It wasn't any special day but you felt the need to spoil him with love. In your own way. But as the time went on you fell asleep, with the food at the bedside table and your body hugging his pillow, feeling safe.

Tom smiled at the sight of you sleeping with his pillow in your hands. His heart beat fast as he kept moving closer to you and left a kiss on your forehead.

"I love you too baby" he said and kissed your lips gently. With slowly moves he tried to laid his body next to yours, hugging your waist and pulling you close to his.

It was at this moment that he realised the power you had over him and he was surprised you couldn't notice it.

"I guess I have to write it to you" he laughed at himself and closed his eyes, falling asleep a few moments later with the thought of you at his mind.