#i've been doing the 1000 pushups in November for St Jude's Children's Research Hospital and i have been enjoying it!

[seriesofcountdowns]

tw: weight loss

I've been having difficulty losing weight since I've went from 223lbs to 189lbs. I know there's a lot of factors as to why for example, stress, tiredness, laziness, busy working two jobs at a time, and I'm sure lifestyle eating habits as well, but SIGH. I've actually gained 5lbs and I know it shouldn't be a big deal but I just, I'm trying to get back to what I weighted before I pulled my back. I'm not trying to get back to my precovid weight which was 150-155lbs. Yikes, I was way to thin and depleted. However, 170-175lbs sounds good?

I know your body is constantly changing and I shouldn't glorify losing weight, and I'm not, but I am trying to reach a goal to see how I feel, etc.

My mind wants me to start restricting myself from food but I'm constantly waging against it saying "NO." but I'm afraid I might give in :(

I just cooked myself lunch for tomorrow but I don't know why, I lost my appetite and I'm just like staring blankly at the ceiling wall contemplating everything.

Also, I think I'm finally going to cut my hair in the first week of December. It's been long enough and my hair is way too big. I'll take a selfie sometime and just post it here as evidence. Plus, Tumblr is my "journal" and this is the longest I have ever gone without cutting my hair.

SIGHHHH. I'll do my best to figure this out