#i've been coming up short in so many ways and letting people down but im legitimately trying my hardest to do a good job

[paranormaljones]

realizing that it might actually be time to quit my job. it's a terrifying thought because a lot of people are depending on me but i actually don't think i can handle this constant stress for much longer.

[yzashaven]

2023 KINKTOBER︰10﹒06

꒰ —♡ C O R R U P T I O N ﹒ K I N K ꒱

EVENT MASTERLIST !

FEATURING ! archon!scara, lyney, dottore, kaeya x fem!reader

WARNINGS ! corruption obvs!!, reader wearing a collar, shibari/bondage, electrostimulation, cunnilingus + fingering, mentions of using aphrodisiac, dottore's clones involved, some name calling, praise + degradation

NOTE ! wow so early!!! (not) i can't tag some people again.... erm... anyway!!! i overused a few words here ngl—also 2 are proofread, 2 aren't. thank u all for your patience i've been so busy with school it's tiring 😭😭

[ chérie - darling, amour - love ]

event taglist— @yukiitaooo @scara6 @kanaedd @ciarchivez @returningluv @im-the-ruler-here @kateybuggi @asimpforpeople @ju1yyyzzz @saturnsapothecary @supercoolusernameomg @uchihaeirin @anon-eu @gojoswife201 @abeitriz @mechanical-lily @breadybuu @dawning-bliss @poisonedmoonl1ght @nothingfuninthislife @eunchaeluvr @cuntz0ne @zomzomb1e @bitchylillyrose @zxdksimpo @kikosaidbye @bleubirdinthesky @rottmntrulesall @angelofdarkness2 @kvronushi @adeptuscharm

—ARCHON!SCARAMOUCHE

corrupting you is a piece of cake for scaramouche; it's his favorite thing to do. an adorable, obedient, little shrine maiden as his personal slut? all for himself at his mercy? sign him up. oh and of course, to make sure you take all that he gives with no resistance whatsoever—he'll make sure to tie you up one way or another. in this case, he decided to take it easy, bounding your wrists together at your back while a collar was around your neck.

"there you go~" he coos in a teasing manner, fingers digging into the flesh of your hips as he guides you in riding him. "feels good, hm?" all that you could do was nod and moan helplessly in response as you let him take full control over your body, "mmh, now that i'm thinking of it, you've never been fucked properly before, right?" he grins darkly as he sees you nod; it's true, he is your first after all. a whimper slips past your lips when he abruptly pulled out before situating you down onto the soft velvet sheets of the mattress, pushing your legs further down until you were practically folded in half, "this is what you call a mating press, doll~" he chuckles before slamming his cock inside you once again, pulling at the leash attached to your collar roughly, causing your eyes to widen as you looked up at him. "oh, don't look at me like that, darling. i might just have to fuck you harder~" and as per his words, his hips began to sharply buck against yours as he observed each and every one of your moans, from the quiet ones to the loud ones that ripped through your throat and making your voice crack out of pure pleasure. not even a minute later, you squirt around his cock whilst it was still thrusting in and out of you at a quick and rough pace, "so adorable~" a scream was drawn from you as his fingers went down to your clit to unexpectedly send a short, weak zap of electro as a way to stimulate you further. "oh come on, i know you like that~ you're just a shy little slut waiting for the right man to break you apart, huh? well... luckily for you, your god himself will be the one ruining you real good~"

—LYNEY SNEZHEVICH

hear me out... soft dom lyney teaching you the ways of romance through intense intimacy and pushing your limits. :3 stimulating you with endless, overwhelming pleasure!!

"can you do one more for me, chérie~?" lyney's fingers and mouth have been skillfully dealing with you for a while now; digits thrusting inside you as they hit all the perfect spots so delicately, his lips wrapped around your swollen clit, gently licking and nibbling on the sensitive bud. you let out whimpers as he continued just that, "you've already came for me so many times, hehe~ a reward should be granted, yes?" before you could protest and say anything at all, he stands up from where he was kneeling and pulls you by the thighs towards the edge of the bed, "mmh~ your sweet fluids are all over your thighs now..." he frowns, "...let me fix that and fill you up with my own cum, hmm~?" without another warning, he easily slides his cock inside your warmth, letting out a small moan at the feeling of your walls engulfing him whole. "feels so good, amour~" he teases as his eyes were fixated on your reactions—body shaking as your lips were parted, gasping for air, moaning and whimpering softly as he started a gentle pace that slowly increased in intensity. "oh, that fucked out look on your face looks so innocent... yet so dirty at the same time~"

—IL DOTTORE

oh, the doctor, experimenting once again, like always! now... who's the best test subject for a rather "intimate" one? of course, his innocent lover.

"how do you feel, my pet?" he says and pats your head gently like how he would to a dog. his thrusts within your cunt were slow and deep, deliciously stretching you out with each snap of his hips, "i knew it... your tough demeanor earlier was nothing but a thin shield. you really thought you could resist me?" he lets out a small laugh, mocking you, "you're just a weak girl on the inside, waiting for someone to tear her pride and dignity to shreds~" he chuckles darkly and reaches forward to fondle at your breasts delicately, "i can't wait to slowly break you apart~" suddenly, he snaps his hips forward as the pace of his thrusts increases, along with the force he was putting in it, constantly hitting your g-spot perfectly. "hah~ that aphrodisiac must be kicking in by now, no? you already look so fucked out and i can feel you getting wetter by the second." he says in a teasing manner, spreading your legs further apart with the help of his clones to hold you down as some of them were touching your cheek delicately, your neck, and your breasts. dottore's hand that was fondling you going down to grip on your hips to steady his rough pace, "focus on me, darling. focus on who's fucking you~" all of that was enough to send you over the edge as you cum hard, walls contracting around his cock that was still busy abusing your pussy, using it as roughly as he always wanted to. "i'm gonna turn you into the sluttiest whore ever~"

—KAEYA ALBERICH

oh... this sly, flirty, smooth talking cavalry captain. he always thought your pure and innocent nature was so adorable, it was his favorite trait of yours. he thinks he's so lucky to have that same girl bent over his desk, begging for more of his rough loving.

"whore." kaeya spat out, thrusting hard inside your cunt from behind as his hand firmly grips at your ass, spanking it. "look at you... moaning all for me, begging for my cock. you that addicted already, huh?" you nod, "good." he smirks mischievously as you let out a lewd scream the moment the tip of his cock kissed your g-spot delightfully, again and again, driving you insane and making your body jolt with each buck of his hips. "fuck—you're too good~ come on, beg me some more. beg me to fuck you senseless~" with a rough thrust forward, it hits a deep part of you that had you cum undone for the umpteenth time. "oh?" kaeya sighs softly, "how am i gonna make you beg when all that's slipping out of your pretty lips are lewd moans and mumbles? hmm~?" he say in a teasing way, "fine then, just keep moaning for me, 'kay~?" his fingers find their way to your clit, pleasuring you further by rubbing it in a way that matched the pace of his thrusts; his other hand making its way up to wrap his long fingers around the back of your neck, holding you down, cheek pressed flat against the cold wood of the table. "even without saying a word, i know all you want right now is for me to fuck you~ just be a good girl and take it all, and i'll keep giving you more~"

[notiddygxthgf]

1. Arrival in Tokyo

★ pairings: aki hayakawa x fem reader

★ ❝ Captain? Should I be calling you sir? ❞ ❝ Only if you want to. ❞

★ c.w.: aki being sexy a f (more content warnings and tags)

★ a/n: CHAPTER ONE IS UP AND RUNNINGGGGGG!! im so excited bc ive been sitting on this fanfic all fking summer like when i tell u i havent been able to focus on anything else. i have not known peace. ANYWAY im trying smth new w this story bc it was supposed to be a oneshot but uh... now its at 150 pages on google docs so erm... anyway! updates should flow quixker now that i have 90% of it written!! comment and let me know all of ur thoughts everywhere omg i love reading ur remarks bc u guys r so funny on my other ffs. ENJOY POOKIES! i love yall!!

★ w.c.; 4.3k

shameless ; chapter index

"SO YOU'RE LEAVING ME because the Tokyo division needs backup?" 

"I'm not leaving you," You sighed, though a playful lilt and a smirk followed your sarcastic remark. You and your husband were discussing work-related matters over a sushi dinner – your favorite. Perks of being married to your work partner. "I'm being summoned. I won't be long. Promise."

Your husband frowned, brows knitting together. His brown hair was tied back into a bun, baby hairs licking at his forehead, his cheeks. Tanimoto Yoshiro was a man of many virtues, but patience was not one of them. With a sigh, he began to toy with his salmon roll, prodding it with the end of his wooden chopsticks. "One whole week without that sexy ass of yours... What will I do?"

Your left eye twitched – slightly, hardly noticeable by the naked eye. You, for one, wouldn't miss the sex. It was, for lack of a better word... unfulfilling. It would get better over the years, you were sure of it. The two of you had only had the last few years to practice, after all. You wanted to wait until marriage (With him. You were no virgin by any stretch of the word.).

It was unfair of you to take your sexual frustrations out on him. It had been a tiring week for the both of you, is all. You barely had time for sit down meals like this anymore – whatever hanky-panky the two of you ever did indulge in these days was rushed, messy, and often... short lived.

Anyway, needless to say... You would be fine. It was you and your rabbit toy against the world, anyway.

"You'll be fine," You smiled. You loved him. He loved you. He was a great husband, and he took care of you. You had no reason to complain. "I'll be back before you know it." .

The Japanese countryside was a blur, rushing past the window of your train like pictures, like a movie. You hadn't noticed the train slow to a stop, in fact, until you heard the doors open. Popping your head up over the seat, you observed the train station. Which stop is this? People began filtering in from both sides, eager to find a seat before the train took off.

A shrill cry of your name roused you from your thoughts. 

You whipped your head around. A familiar-looking woman with black hair and an eyepatch was waving you down across the aisle. She was wearing a Public Safety suit and slacks. Himeno.

A smile crawled over your lips before you knew it. "Himeno?" You asked, a teasing lilt in your tone. "Is that you?"

Without asking if anyone else was sitting there, she took a seat in the one across from you. She leaned forward, perching her chin up on her hand. "Never thought I'd see you again. How the hell are 'ya?"

You and Himeno went way back. She had been in the same division as you back when the two of you were teens. She was the first person in Public Safety who had ever actually welcomed you to the division and the last person to say goodbye to you. You parted ways before ever being able to exchange information but, for what it was worth, she had made those gruesome, tedious missions more bearable. 

"I've been good!" You grinned. "I've been in the Kyoto sector with my partner. I truly did plan on coming back, but one thing led to another, and now..." You trailed off, waving your hands around like you were trying to find the right words. "Well, I'm married to him."

The train creaked and groaned before it began to move again. 

"So I've heard," Himeno licked her lips. She sat back in her chair, producing a carton of cigarettes – the kind she always used to smoke when the two of you were on missions together. "You mind if I smoke?"

No, but the conductor might. "Of course not," You answered. "How about you? How have you been?"

She sighed. "Been better, honestly. Devil activity's been crazy recently," Fishing a lighter out of her suit pocket, she sparked up. The end of her cigarette sizzled and smoked between her slim fingers. Holding it up to her lips, she muttered, "Just doing what I can to stay alive. What brings you back to the city?"

"My presence has been requested by the higher-ups," You shrugged. The scent of nicotine and smoke filled the cabin. It was gross but, frankly, familiar. "My husband wasn't too happy that he didn't get invited, so this better be worth it."

"I see," Himeno hummed, breathing out a puff of smoke to the side. She kept on looking out of the window after that, at the train station that was now far behind the train. "You're leaving your partner and I'm returning to mine."

"You're married?" You asked.

"God, no," She chuckled softly, pulling another hit from her cancer stick. "Wouldn't mind being with my assigned partner, though. He's a fine piece of ass."

It seemed like you couldn't help the way you burst into laughter at her crude remark. She hasn't changed one bit. "Is he cute?"

"Cute?" She repeated the word like it was a foreign object in her mouth. Her voice was muffled by the cloud of smoke that flowed out from between her lips. "He's drop-dead gorgeous," She took another slow, calculated hit. "Enough about me, though, how's the married life going for you?"

Could be better. You feigned a warm smile at the mention of your husband. "Good. Yeah, it's good."

Good was a bit of an overstatement. .

You and Himeno spent the rest of the train ride catching up. There was talk about marriage, sex, old coworkers, and new ones. It felt kind of good to be back – to be able to talk to someone who shared the same history as you. You would almost say that you missed it.

By the time the announced its next stop at the Tokyo station, you hadn't even realized how quickly the trip had gone by. You could thank your talkative companion for that. As the train finally eased to a stop, you turned to Himeno with a smile. 

"I need to grab my bags," you said, rising from your seat and straightening your clothes.

Himeno nodded, her smile warm but tinged with a hint of sadness. "Okay. Take care of yourself!"

Navigating the narrow aisle, you headed toward the luggage compartment. As you reached up to grab your suitcase, you collided with someone. Startled, you looked up to find yourself face-to-face with a man who immediately captured your attention. He was tall, easily over six feet, with broad shoulders and a powerful build that spoke of both strength and discipline. His dark hair was tied back in a neat topknot, accentuating his sharp, angular features. But it was his eyes that held you—their piercing blue depths seemed to look straight through you, filled with a seriousness that made you catch your breath.

"Sorry—" he began, his voice a deep, resonant baritone that vibrated through the narrow space.

For a moment, the world seemed to narrow down to just the two of you. The closeness of his body, the scent of his cologne—clean and subtly spiced, lingering just faintly on the collar of his suit jacket—the intense focus of his gaze; all of it created a bubble of tension that neither of you could ignore. You could see the flicker of surprise in his eyes, a momentary lapse in his serious demeanor, as if he too had been caught off guard.

Both of you paused. His gaze flickered down to your uniform for just a heartbeat before he quickly looked away, regaining his composure. Without another word, you continued in opposite directions, the silent exchange leaving you... well, a little breathless to say the least.

Stop it. You're a married woman. Surely, you would know how to control your impulses after being away from your husband for only a day.

Reaching up, you pulled your suitcase from the overhead compartment, the weight of it a familiar comfort. Setting it down on the ground with a soft thud, you turned back to your seat, only to find the handsome man still standing there, now engaged in conversation with Himeno. He was so tall that he had to actually lean over a little bit to fit into the cabin.

Fuck me. You thought. Wait, no, don't fuck me.

"Is this your partner, Himeno?" you asked, raising an eyebrow in curiosity.

"Yes, I found him!" Himeno responded with a wide grin. "Captain Hayakawa, this is an old friend of mine," she said, going on to introduce you by name.

"Hello," he greeted, extending his hand. The deep, velvety timbre of his voice sent a shiver down your spine.

"Captain? Should I be calling you 'sir'?" you teased lightly, shaking his hand – and his grip was firm and warm.

"Only if you want to," he replied, "Hayakawa is fine."

Only if you want to.

Get your fucking head out of the gutter.

Your heart skipped a beat as you found yourself momentarily lost in his gaze. His eyes were a captivating shade of blue, intense and unwavering. The handshake lingered a moment too long. You could feel the strength and warmth of his hand – it was far larger than yours, and had calluses at the tip of the palm.

Despite his serious demeanor, there was a flicker of something in his eyes, a hint of interest that he seemed determined to keep under control. Reluctantly, you pulled your hand away, feeling the lingering warmth of his touch. 

His gaze remained locked on yours for a moment longer, a silent acknowledgment of whatever the fuck had just happened.

Himeno cleared her throat, breaking the spell. "Well, let me give you a big hug, dearest."

You embraced her fondly, the familiarity of her touch grounding you. 

"Here, give me your number," Himeno said as she pulled back. She flipped her phone open. "Let's keep in touch."

With a smile, you told her your phone number. 

She snapped her phone shut after she had finished typing it in. "Okay! Hopefully, I'll get to see you around."

"Yes, of course! We'll be in touch," You agreed. You bowed your head to her, then to her partner. "Hayakawa."

He nodded back. You dismissed yourself after that, turning on your heel and practically scrambling to get out of that tiny train cabin. Still, you couldn't help but glance back at Captain Hayakawa. His eyes met yours again for a brief, fleeting moment before you turned away, heart racing with something you hadn't felt in a long time.

You didn't want to stick around and find out what it was. The weight of your wedding ring around your finger was a reminder of that much. .

You hadn't been in Public Safety's Tokyo headquarters in years. It was bigger than you remembered it being. The worst part? All the halls looked the exact same. It took you about thirty minutes to find the office in which you were currently standing.

A woman who you'd been dreading seeing the whole way over there was perched on a leather seat in front of you, arms folded over the desk, pink hair braided the same way it always had been, feline eyes flitting over your body. It made you feel small – like prey trapped in a predator's den.

"How was your trip over here?" Makima asked. Her voice was smooth, uniform – calculated, just like everything else she did. 

"It was pleasant," You answered. "I came as soon as I could."

"We appreciate that," Makima said, a hint of something sinister in her smile.

She stepped out from behind her desk, pacing slowly around the room. "I called you here because we've recently suffered a great deal of casualties," she explained, her tone measured and controlled. "I'm worried we won't have the manpower to deal with all the sudden appearances of gun-devil pieces."

"I understand. Am I being formally stationed?" you replied, trying to maintain your composure.

"Not that I know of, no," she responded, her eyes narrowing slightly. "For now, we need backup on a particular mission involving a school in the area. There have been reports of peculiar activity there, and I want to send one of my teams to investigate. I haven't decided whether you'll be in the field or here tying up some loose ends—we recently lost one of our best workers, and we're very far behind as a result. I'll have a certain answer for you within the next few days."

"A few... days?"

"Yes, is that a problem?"

"No, not at all, no. I just—" you sighed, feeling the weight of uncertainty. "Yeah, okay, that sounds good."

"You've also been booked a hotel suite nearby. Your stay will be provided at no cost to you," she continued, her tone unwavering. "I'll reach out to you as soon as I have more details. Hang tight until then."

With a tight-lipped smile, you nodded. "Thank you, Miss Makima. Am I dismissed?"

"Yes, I'll have one of our drivers take you to your room so you can drop off your luggage," she said, her smile not reaching her eyes. "Where did you leave it?"

"I left it in the break room," you said.

"Very well. I'll have someone collect it," she replied, her eyes closing briefly as she smiled. "Get home safely."

With that, you turned and left the office, the tension of the encounter still lingering in the back of your mind. There was just something about that damn lady that never failed to send a shiver up your spine. You sighed, glancing down at the old floorboards, at your shoes.

The reality of the situation began to sink in. 

You had traveled all this way, navigating the maze of identical halls and sterile rooms, only to be told you had to wait. The thought gnawed at you— That sounds about right from her, you mused. It was typical of Makima, always keeping you in the dark, always one step ahead, holding the reins tightly.

The cool, clinical atmosphere of the headquarters only heightened your sense of displacement. The fluorescent lights overhead cast a harsh, unforgiving glow, making everything look stark and unwelcoming.

Lost in your thoughts, you heard a series of footsteps echoing down the hall, followed by hushed voices. The sound grew closer, and you recognized the voice immediately—it was the young lieutenant captain again, the man you had bumped into earlier.

You glanced up, and there he was, standing just a few feet away. He was a striking figure, his presence suffocating – commanding and enigmatic. He had a sharp jaw, chiseled and defined, the kind that could cut paper. His eyes, a moody blue, held a penetrating gaze, one that seemed to see right through you, making you feel as though you were laid completely bare before him.

His brow was knit slightly in deep thought. There was a slight furrow at the bridge of his nose. The tufts of inky black hair that framed his features only added to the boyish charm of his face. 

As he spoke to the other Public Safety worker beside him, his hands moved with purposeful grace.

Your eyes were drawn to him despite yourself, unable to escape the force of his presence. 

His gaze caught yours briefly, and in that fleeting moment, you felt an almost tangible tension in the air. It was as if time had stopped for a heartbeat, the corridor seeming to stretch and contract around the two of you.

The connection between your eyes was like a magnet, pulling you in despite your efforts to look away. The faintest flutter in your chest was enough to have you gripping the collar of your shirt.

He blinked first, his eyes breaking away from yours as he turned back to his companion. The conversation resumed, but the air seemed thicker now, charged with the residual energy of your brief encounter. 

"We need to re-evaluate our strategies for dealing with the increased devil activity," he said, his words carefully chosen. "The losses have been significant, and our resources are stretched thin."

You turned and walked in the opposite direction, the soft hum of the fluorescent lights overhead seeming to amplify the distance you were putting between yourself and him.

As you moved down the corridor, you couldn't shake the feeling that his eyes were still on you, as if the weight of his gaze lingered even after you had turned away.  .

You had just stepped out of the shower, the steam still clinging to the room and curling around the bathroom mirror in hazy swirls. The cool, clean air of the hotel suite met you as you emerged, a refreshing contrast to the stifling atmosphere of the Public Safety headquarters.

You took a moment to let the chill of the air sink into your skin, feeling the pleasant coolness against your damp hair and freshly washed face. You dried yourself off, the soft towel enveloping you in its warmth, and slipped into a comfortable set of loungewear—simple, dark gray sweatpants and a loose-fitting, white t-shirt.

You walked over to the full-sized bed, the crisp white sheets and plush pillows arranged neatly. You flopped down onto it, letting out a relieved sigh as you sank into the softness of the mattress.

Reaching for your phone from the nightstand, you dialed your husband's number. As the call connected, you propped yourself up on one elbow and stared at the ceiling, trying to shake off the exhaustion of the day.

When he answered, his voice was calmingly familiar, cutting through the distance between you with a comforting ease. "Hey. How's everything going?"

"It's been a day," you said with a soft chuckle. "I finally got here, but of course, they've got me waiting for more details. Typical."

"Sounds about right," he said, his voice tinged with a longing that you could almost touch through the phone, "I miss you."

You closed your eyes for a moment, trying to push away the brief flash of memories that drifted through your mind—blue eyes and raven hair, a fleeting image that made your heart skip a beat. An image of soft lips wrapped around the syllables, 'Only if you want to.'

You shook your head gently, trying to dispel the image from your thoughts. "I miss you too," you said, trying to keep your tone light and steady.

You heard the faint sound of his smile through the phone, a soft, reassuring sound. You had never been so happy to hear his voice. "How's the hotel?"

"It's nice," you said, shifting your position on the bed to get more comfortable. "Pretty standard, but it's got a good view of the city."

"I can think of one view I'd really like to see right now," he teased gently. 

Just as you were about to reply, your phone started ringing again. You glanced at the screen and saw the name of your old coworker. 

"Hold on, I'm getting a call," you said, your fingers hovering over the screen. 

"Ugh, okay," he said. "Bye."

"Bye," you replied, a smile tugging at your lips as you ended the call.

You took a deep breath before picking up. "Hello?"

"Heya, Hot stuff. What you up to?" Himeno drawled into the receiver.

"Just got out the shower," You answered. "Why? Is something up?"

"Nah. Well, yeah," She giggled. "Miss Makima's taking us out for drinks to celebrate the success of our last mission tomorrow. She rented out this whole space for us. You coming?"

You chuckled quietly, carding a hand through your damp hair. "I always feel dull at parties."

"You? Dull?" Came Himeno's retort. "This really the same person who used to take body shots off complete strangers back in the day?"

The mere mention of your past self had you laughing all over again. "Times change."

"Married life made you soft?" 

You winced. Sure, perhaps a somewhat-boring life in the countryside with your husband had made you a little soft. But there was something in the way she said it – something that made you tick. You were happy being a married woman. You had been happy since the two of you had eloped at 21.

You were happy, dammit. You just wished it was a little easier to convince yourself of that.

"I don't know..." You trailed off. "I won't be any fun."

"Noooooo... You have to come!" Himeno groaned. You could hear her pacing around in the background. "DENJI!" She called to god knows who. "Back me up here!"

The phone was handed over to someone else – a young-sounding boy. "I'm not gonna force someone to go to a stupid party."

"Tell her to come!" Could be heard very faintly in the background.

"Wait. She's a 'she'?"

"Not just any 'she', thats–"

"You should definitely come tonight," The boy decided. "Name's Denji, by the way."

"Hi, Denji," You sighed. "Could you hand the phone back to Himeno for just a moment?"

"Sure," He answered. "Bye, gorgeous. See you there."

Gorgeous. He hasn't even seen me and he's calling me gorgeous. You had to have been in the twilight zone.

"So, you're coming, right?" Himeno's voice chirped over the line.

"I don't know," You answered (again). "Who's going?"

"Aki's coming. Remember him? Partner? Total hottie?" She replied. 

Total hottie was an understatement. Again, the image of his pretty face flashed through your mind. You squashed the mere thought of it – like an incessant bug. "Yes, we met."

"I'm gonna get a smooch out of him by the end of the night," She giggled. "You can bet on that."

People came and went. Seasons changed. Himeno, however, did not. She was just as crude as you had always remembered her being.

"Just a kiss?" You teased.

"Maybe. Maybe more," She teased right back. "Can you believe he doesn't have a girlfriend? He's 20! That's gotta mean something."

He's five years younger than me... You picked mindlessly at your nails. "Something like...?"

"Dunno. Am I wrong for thinking he's holding out for me?" 

"Oh, to be young and naive again," You sighed. "I was engaged at his age," You trailed off, words hanging in the air for a moment after they had slipped past your lips.

Awkward. Did that slip out?

You leaned back against the headboard, feeling the cool pillows against your back while your mind drifted to the past. You had been so young when you'd gotten married, looking back. You loved him, you truly did. Sure, you had your issues, but didn't every married couple?

The two of you were happy. Still, a pang of jealousy surfaced when you heard Himeno speak so freely about her independence, her sexual prowess. In a way, you felt as though you had been deprived of that freedom far too early.

Your fingers traced the edge of your phone, your gaze drifting as memories flooded your mind. Himeno's laughter on the other end of the line seemed distant, a reminder of a simpler time, unburdened by the weight of responsibilities and commitments.

You were happy... weren't you?

"Hey, you still there?" Himeno's voice pulled you back to the present, her tone tinged with concern.

"Yeah, sorry," you replied, shaking off the melancholy that had crept into your thoughts. "Just got lost in my head for a moment."

"Don't we all," she sighed, her voice softening. "Look, just come down tomorrow. It'll be fun. We can catch up, have a few drinks, and maybe you can even be my wingman for the night."

You chuckled, the sound more genuine this time. "Alright, fine. I'll come. But no promises about playing matchmaker."

"Yay! It's at five," Himeno's excitement was palpable, and it was contagious. "I'll see you then. Hopefully, you can loosen up a little bit. Relive the good days."

"Yeah, maybe," you said, a small, half-assed smile playing on your lips. "See you then."

You ended the call and set your phone to the side. 

Loosen up a little, You thought. Yeah, you could definitely stand to do that.

a/n: shortie but a goodie! i already have most of the story written (so this one doesnt wind up like my 25,000 other unfinished projects), and this was the only way i could think to cut this chapter off hehe. ANYWAYYYY i hope yall enjoyed and are prepared for the TENSION AND SPICEEEE. omg its so tasty i cant wait. stay tuned! its gonna be so amazing. please comment and whatever to let me know your thoughts, wants and desires for this story! or just smth fun. i love reading yalls comments hehe comments + reblogs are greatly appreciated!!

credits: UNKOWN ATM. I found it on pinterest unfortch. If you know the artist, please let me know, so I can credit them properly for their work!!! This is NOT MY BEAUTIFUL DRAWINGGG. I obviously do not own csm or anything related to it. please do not reproduce, copy, or translate my works anywhere. dont fk w me im a bruja.

also: come find me on my wattpad if u wanna interact more!

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wanna join the taglist? | shameless ; chapter index

[moonystoes]

Nurse? - Elisa De Almeida x reader (highschool students)

Summary: When the school has never felt this empty, you decide to escape the students by helping out the nurse. Only to find out you can't escape her.

Warning: yap sesh I'm sorry, confusion??(girl me too idk), an annoying guy x

Wc: 5.670k

A/n: Ugh writing the summary is worse than the whole fic wtf. Also finding pics and trying to make the coloring match is shit I'm sorry LMFAO. Apologies for the late post, I've been going through it in school. and as I said again, im pretty new to writing so constructive criticism or advice is needed :)

Part one

This is FANfiction. Please don't view Elisa this way.

-

“Do you know who you're going to prom with?” You turned to look at Sam, walking down the school hallway to your shared class. Prom has been a topic of conversations since they first revealed it two months ago. Now, prom will happen in two weeks, and all the young teens are procrastinating to look for partners.

“Ugh, no! I don't even know why our school decided to add this thing. We don't have to copy Americans, let them do their thing and we will do our thing.” She groaned loudly. You looked around you, noticing people glancing at her weirdly.

“Okay… but the students voted for it, not the school. So technically it's our fault.” You whispered, tugging her closer to remind her to lower her voice. You thought about who might ask you out. Xavi has been eyeing you for a while, but he was caught creating fake Instagram accounts to catfish girls. So there is no possible way of you agreeing to go with him. Edward was a year older than you, and you've been chatting with him at lunch. As much as you enjoyed the conversations with him, you didn't feel anything with him. He was the most attractive guy in his grade, his hazel eyes and dark skin made the girls swoon around him. For you, his personality isn't as attractive as his face, therefore you aren't crazy about him.

Then there is Paul, your childhood friend. You've known him since first grade, sitting together at the school park. In your head, you had imagined your friendship to stay forever, until you both get jobs and live close to each other. But after the both of you hit puberty, he started to act weird and felt uncomfortable around you. You hated it, but you knew it was bound to happen anyways.

It also didn't help you how attractive he grew to be, his short dark hair matched his brown eyes but also contrasted with his pale skin. His soft smile and attentive personality made many of the girls attach to his hip. You were never insecure about your looks, but now you started to question yourself. Did he stop our friendship because I was too ugly?

At some point, some of the girls came up to you and asked what he likes so they can ‘buy him a gift’. Your response was an easy lie, ‘I don't remember, it's been years.’

That doesn't make you guys strangers, he still comes and talks to you every once in a while, just like now.

“Hey y/n… can we talk privately?” Paul startled you. You turned to look at him with confusion, the last time you talked to each other was last month when he asked for the English homework (which you reluctantly gave to him out of kindness… and because you're a people pleaser). You glanced at Sam to check if she's okay with you leaving her, she gave you a small nod and left the both of you alone.

“So… have any plans for the winter dance? Or prom I don't even know what it is.” He awkwardly grabbed your arm and pulled you to the side of the corridor to not interrupt the people walking.

“Are you asking me out as your date?” You questioned slowly.

“What! No…i mean yes. Do you want to come with me?” He shook his head, obviously distracted with something. You stayed silent for a few seconds to think about it. You aren't a ‘party’ person, but the winter prom is a new thing and you wanted to experience it for once. Paul was a complicated guy, he wouldn't talk to you for months and then approach you like nothing happened. At least when he does approach you, he treats you right, or that’s what you thought.

“Sure…do you have any planning? For the dress or just the day as a whole?” You asked. Everytime you watch an American teen movie, you imagine yourself and Mr. Perfect together at a shop buying a dress, the shocked face when they see you going down the stairs all glammed up, going to dinner before prom, and having a soft kiss at the dance…. Although now you don't really feel like sharing your first kiss with Paul.

“Oh?... What thing for the dress? And no, I didn't volunteer for the dance so I didn't plan anything with the organizers,” And just like that your hopes were crushed, of course a 14 year old boy wouldn't know a thing about romance. He clearly didn't care about what dress you'll wear, or what the both of you would do before the event. You shook your head with a sigh, faking a smile and walking past him to your class. “Ohhh! I did vote for you for prom queen… you know? So we both can be like ‘famous’. You should vote for me, if that's what you mean.”

You felt disappointed, pretending not to hear him and walked into your first class. Great. He ruined your day and it just started.

-

Your parents were excited when you told them about Paul asking you. Of course, they've known him for years and his parents are in touch with yours. You were at the store trying to look for an ‘age appropriate’ dress. Your father is staying in the car, obviously fed up with the indecisive behaviors from you and your mom.

“Look, this is great!” You heard your mom cheer from the back of the store, she came up to you with a flower print dress and a bright smile on her face.

“Mom, it looks like I work on a farm.” You sighed, turning to the other side where there are dresses lined up.

“Are you serious? It looks amazing. I like it!” Yeah, you like it. You turned to look at it again, but the sadness in your mother's face caught you off guard. So you decided to lie. You grabbed the dress from her hand and turned it to see it ‘from every angle’.

“You know what? I think it's great. And it's not expensive like the other dresses here.” You faked a smile and looked at the cashier that was standing uncomfortably close to the both of you. You handed her the dress and both went to the checkout.

For you, making decisions isn't something you care about. Everytime you think of something, you'd agree with the others because at the end of the day ‘it's not that serious’. Sometimes, your friends end up scolding you for choosing people's happiness over yours. But when you turned to glance at your mother's happy smile, it was worth it.

-

Wed 19th of December 2012

The next week, Paul had thrown your prom ticket into your locker with no message or any indication. At least he bought you the ticket. Sam has gotten sick as well as the other two girls close to the both of you. She had sent you a message saying she probably won't be at prom, explaining in great details of her vomit and sickness.

You felt all alone and the class has never felt emptier. Fleur had a major knee injury from football practice, two guys were suspended for a fight. Students are calling this week a curse, considering that it's wednesday and prom will just be in a few days. The filled class now is almost half empty, making the class feel quiet.

“Okay…since most of the students are absent, we won't take a lesson today,” Cheers erupted from the class, happy to not have biology. “I'm not done! You will be partnered up to discuss prom preparations.”

The atmosphere changed from cheering to groaning in a second. You glanced at Paul, wondering if he would be your partner. You hoped that Paul would realize he has responsibilities for prom today when the both of you discuss it. But as the teacher started labeling the partners, you realized that it doesn't matter who is your date, she is randomly assigning them.

“Elisa and Marie you don't need to sit at the back anymore, the class is practically empty. Elisa, you sit with y/n. Katoto, sit with Adam.” You sighed frustratingly, why her? During the two months of school, she has been treating you like dirt. Ignoring you and always avoiding you. Whenever teachers put you in groups, she'd ask the teacher if she can be partnered with Fleur instead.

But she's been more open and relaxed now, and it's somehow freaking you out. She has made some friendships there and there with the other girls. She laughs louder, jokes more with her side of the class. And even if her ignorance towards you confused you at first, it wasn’t why you were freaked out. It's how she treats the girls in class. It's like the guys…but gentler? She stares at Amy the same way the guys do, with heart eyes. And all of this frustrates you, because why is she looking at Amy like that? She's not supposed to like Amy. And why is she treating every girl in the class sweetly except you?

Everytime you catch her looking at Amy, you remember that Quora comment. Admittedly, you've been thinking about it everyday for the past 2 months. When you’re near her, you stutter and avoid looking at her eyes. Because when Elisa looks at your eyes, she can read you. And although you know you're not necessarily hiding anything, you don't want Elisa to know how she affects you.

Elisa rolled her eyes in annoyance when the teacher told her to move to sit next to you. Of course it would be you. Your bubbly and nice personality makes her sick, because right when it comes to her, you become mute. It feels as though her sitting next to you makes you feel grossed out and disgusted. It doesn't help how Sam glances at the both of you everytime Elisa walks past you. It's like you have told her something about her, that elisa is some sick joke you told her about. Growing up, Elisa realized that not many people liked her. But she didn't care, until it was you.

You were kind and sweet to everyone. Whenever anyone asks for help, you're always there. Whenever you have to be surrounded by people you don't even like, you're still respectful and treat them well. But why is it when it comes to her, you ignore her? Every time she's near you, she sees your uncomfortable glance, she’s already used to it by now, but it still breaks her.

Homophobia isn’t something surprising, it’s everywhere. But again, the most non-judgemental person… you, she didn’t expect you to be just like everyone else.

She threw her bag next to your seat as she sighed. Of course she’s already groaning around you. You rolled your eyes at her dramatic reaction, pulling open your notes to write anything you need for the prom. You wrote ‘dress’ check, ‘hair’... you’ll just straighten it, ‘make up’ you’ll ask Sam to help you with it. You glanced at Elisa, a blush ran through your face when you saw the sketch of a woman on her notes. Does she have a date? Did she get asked… or did she ask a girl out? There is no way she’d go with a boy… just the idea of Elisa with a boy makes your stomach churn, and you don’t know why it would feel better if she would be with a girl, a person like you.

“Um… so, do you have a date?” You stammered, trying to act casual about the question, as if it hasn’t been on your mind all month.

She looked away from her sketch to glance at you, “no.”

“Why not?”

Elisa was silent for a moment, “Fleur tore her ACL so she won’t come with me.”

Fleur? Why Fleur? Your kind smile slowly turned to a frown, fuck I know I said it would make me feel better if she would ask a girl out but Fleur? Does she like her? No way.

Elisa noticed the way your smile turned into disgust. At first, panic started to get into her head, would you tell everyone that she wanted her date to be a girl? It’s okay, right? A lot of girls go with their friends? Fleur is her friend. But her panic turned into anger, fuck you and your disgusting beliefs. Of course you wouldn’t like the fact she’s into women, and although she never said she's gay out loud, anyone who glances at her knows about it.

“ACL injuries are really serious, tell her I wish her a speedy recovery.” You mumbled, you didn’t know why you’re acting this way, and why does it happen every time with Elisa. Elisa ignored what you said and continued to draw. You were looking at her sketch from the corner of your eyes, what else would she add? Big boobs? Blonde hair? Is her type in girls the same as the boys’? But suddenly Elisa stopped drawing for a second and took a deep breath, then she scribbled all over the drawing, ripping the page away from her notebook and standing angrily to throw it away in the bin.

When she sat back, she moved her seat slightly away from you. You lowered your head feeling shame, what did you do to deserve this from her? Your heart did the fluttering thing again around her, but now it’s because of the heartbreak of rejection. Elisa kept on tapping the pencil on the paper, writing nothing on her notebook. You glanced at Paul, realizing that he was partnered with Amy. Because of the panic of Elisa sitting next to you, you didn’t even think about Paul. Great, Paul is with the hottest girl in class and Elisa here hates your ass, you already knew Sam would be tired from the phone call this evening.

You glanced at the teacher quickly to make sure she's not looking at you. You grabbed your phone and opened the chats between you and Sam and sent her a message.

“Sam I'm sorry for the monster I'd be when we call today.”

Elisa noticed you using your phone, slightly surprised since you've always been the ‘good’ girl of the class. She saw you texting Sam, quickly diverting her eyes away from your phone. Are you texting Sam about the drawing? Is she seriously that grossed out by a silly drawing? Elisa's frustration has faded, now filled with sorrow. How can someone be filled with that much hatred? How can you sit here and act all cute and innocent to everyone but react this way over a drawing?

Right when the bell rang, Elisa grabbed her bag and left first, not even waiting for Katoto. You breathed out slowly, glad that she's not sitting next to you anymore. The rest of the school day was miserable, feeling all alone. At lunch, you sat on the ‘loner benches’, which are placed behind the school buildings near the football pitch. It's called that because nobody usually notices it, so it's always empty. For once, you were too tired to be friendly and socialize with people you can't stand.

When you were watching the football game, you noticed Elisa playing. Sighing, you got up and walked to the building, deciding to help out the nurse in easy tasks like bandages. She likes you, and had previously written notes to the teachers for you ‘to skip’ their classes. And after what happened in class with Elisa, you really didn't want to face her again.

When you reached the nurse office, you saw Ms. Eugene frantically running around her office to grab things into her giant bag. When she turned to look at you she gasped, “oh thank God! I was about to call the office to bring you,” She grasped your arm, pulling you to sit in her office. “My daughter… she's sick, they called right now. Can you please take over my place? You know we don't have other nurses, and I trust you. You're very smart, y/n. If anyone came here with something more serious than a cut, don't hesitate to call the ambulance.” She rambled, her face filled with stress as she grasped her keys.

“I can stay here, just let the office know so I don't get counted as absent,” You were getting more worried about her daughter the more you looked at her. Ms. Eugene is a single mom of a 3 year old girl, having to carry the responsibilities of both parents as one. She nodded at what you said, and pulled the door open. “I hope everything works out with baby Lee.”

She turned to look at you with grateful eyes, and left you alone. You were stressed about the new ‘job’ you got, but excitement started filling you when you looked around. The posters, the small medications, the tapes and bandages. You can now pretend to be a nurse! You pulled out your phone to text Sam about your new adventure, until a knock made you flinch.

You glanced at the door, yelling out a ‘come in’. When the door opened, you heard Elisa's pained voice, “Nurse Eugene?”

When Elisa glanced at you, she rolled her eyes and limped outside, making sure to shut the door as loud as possible. Usually, you would be hurt at this. But by the way Elisa was limping, you jumped up from the big chair and ran out to see what happened.

“Elisa, are you serious?!” You pulled the door open, finding her limping down the stairs. She looks up to see you and asks, “What are you even doing here? Where is the actual nurse?”

“She had a family emergency,” You followed her down the stairs, “Elisa you're limping! I'm just going to tape you and you will not see my face again.” Your voice cracked as you said the last part. Usually you're good at masking your feelings, but Elisa's pained face in front of you and the way she ran away from you broke you.

Elisa groaned loudly and took a step forward, holding onto the stairs’ railing and following you back into the nurse's office. When she got in the room, she limply sat on the bed. Glancing at the wall in front of her instead of you.

She had heard the neediness from your voice, and it made her heart throb quicker. Even when you clearly feel disgust around her, at least you were worried about her right? Did you do this because you cared about her? Or because you didn't want to get in trouble?

You brought disinfectant wipes, a cotton ball, pre wrap, and a tape. You placed them near her on the bed then turned to look at her to see what actually happened. Elisa lifted her foot up to show that the injury was there, and when you looked down you saw a trail of blood and a cut on her lower shin.

You pointed at the bed as your face scrunched in worry. Awkwardly, Elisa twisted her body towards you and layed down, resting her upper body on her arms behind her. You sat on the bed too, making sure the tapes were near you.

You grabbed the wipes packet, glancing at Elisa to make sure she knows it will be painful. But she was already looking at your face, so you panicked and just placed the wipe directly at the cut.

“Fuck!” She pulled her leg away and threw the wipe away. But you grabbed her foot and pulled it to your lap, using a different wipe and attempting to clean up the cut again. Elisa’s hiss was loud, and it involuntarily made your breath hitch and bite your lip for a second. You had to stop being inappropriate and dirty minded. It's disrespectful, so you tried to ignore it and continued cleaning up the wound. But when her defined and thick calf tensed up, you froze. Of course she will have muscles… She plays football!

“Can you be quick? It's burning me.” Elisa's frustrated groan pulled you out of the daydreams, so you quickly placed your right hand on a piece of cotton there and awkwardly tried to place the pre-wrap over it with your left hand. Elisa saw you struggle so she placed her fingers on yours over the cotton pad.

You quickly removed your fingers from her warm hand, and started wrapping her shin tightly with the pre-wrap. It was easier now to be completely focused on the injury in front of you instead of Elisa’s gaze or warm hand, it was your dream to major in a medical field and you didn’t want to harm Elisa or tape it wrong.

All Elisa was doing while you were taping her shin is look at your face. She was intrigued on how you knew how to do this. For her, she plays football and it’s mandatory for all of the players to know how to tape and deal with certain injuries. But for you, she wasn’t sure on how you knew how to do this… or how you’re good at so many things, you were just perfect in everything in her eyes.

She shook her head at her thoughts and looked at your hands instead, watching you bring the sticky white tape and securing her shin just like the physio at her academy. When you were done, you softly tapped her foot, indicating that she can lift it now. She removes her foot from your thighs and twists her body to sit on the bed instead, forcedly turning her head to look at you with a thankful smile, “you taped it well, thank you.”

You shrugged and looked down at both your feet, dangling them around as you bit your lip in embarrassment, “Thank you, I’ve always wanted to do this in the future so…”

“Be a school nurse?” Elisa asked.

“No, just anything with the medical field.” You replied. Elisa didn’t realize how close you were both sitting next to each other until she accidentally nudged your foot when she started moving her feet like you. She stood up, making sure not to put her weight on her foot, and walked to the door.

“Good luck with that, you’re smart and I think you’ll be able to do it.” You looked up to see her at the door, heart slightly warming at what she said. You smiled gratefully at her and nodded, before mumbling a short, “good luck with football.”

Elisa giggled with a shrug at your comment, and closed the door behind her delicately this time. You released a breath you didn’t know you were holding and hid your face in your hands. Why was it comforting to you that she thinks your hard work will actually get you to your dream major? Did she lie to make you feel better?...Elisa hates lying, you have noticed that because everytime she doesn’t like anything she’d stay quiet…not lie.

But the door was opened shortly, Elisa appearing again with a flustered smile, “I forgot to ask you for a nurse pass.”

You raised your face from your hands and nodded in her direction, standing up from the bed to the desk and writing a note. When you reached ‘time:’ on the notes, you turned to look at Elisa, “Hey Elisa… Do you want to go to class now or walk around the school? I can lie about the time and basically give you free time.”

She looked away from a random poster and turned to look at you with a bright smile, the ones kids do when they get offered candy. “Will you actually do that for me?”

You giggled at her reaction with a nod, she skipped happily and sat on the bed again. She turned to look at you with a grateful smile and pulled out her phone from her pocket, “thank you, I can’t stand the PE teacher or any of the students.”

You hummed in agreement as you sat there awkwardly. Elisa continued scrolling through her screen, while you were just looking at her. “If the teacher asks you why it took you so long you should say that you were dizzy and almost passed out because it is mandatory for nurses to keep students in their office for a minimum of 20 minutes.”

She looks away from her phone to look at you for a second before returning her eyes back, “yeah thanks.”

You didn’t like how she wasn’t really talking to you, even when you knew she didn't like you at all. For a second, it felt like all the tension that was there in the morning had oozed away, but you soon realized that you had to accept that the discomfort Elisa felt toward you will always be the same. As you thought of a topic to talk with her, there was a knock on the door.

You glanced back at elisa to signal for her to hide her phone, before calling out a ‘come in’.

When the door opened, you saw Elisa visibly grimace and you realized that it's Paul the moment he said your name, “y/n! Or should I say Nurse y/n?”

You turned awkwardly to Elisa with a confused look. Nobody knew you were there other than the office, how did he know? Your minutes of peace were frustratingly disturbed now that other students know. Elisa shrugged to show you she didn't know how he knew, but she didn't want to admit that she did text Katoto about you helping her skip.

“Hey Paul, do you need a bandage?” You fake smiled at him. After the whole prom planning that happened, you really didn't want to be around him.

“What? No, I'm just here so you can write me a note to skip class.” He laughed as he sat at the seat near you, grabbing a note from the desk and giving it to you so you could write him one.

“I'm not allowed to do that Paul, you know that.” You looked at him disappointedly and returned the pack of excused notes back to where they were. Paul groaned in frustration. He glanced at Elisa on the bed and pointed at her, “what about her?”

“Elisa is dizzy and has to stay here for a while.”

“Y/n do you seriously believe that! C'mon, I'm your prom date! She fell and bled a little, that's all. I was there. Look! She can stand and walk normally with it taped.” He cried out, pointing at Elisa's taped shin.

“Calm down weirdo,” Elisa calmly said. She didn't like the way he was yelling at you, and she was slightly worried if you couldn't think of an excuse to tell him about how she was dizzy so she tried to waste time.

In fact, Elisa didn't know why you were doing this in the first place. Taping her shin is understandable, but helping her skip class? Memories of first period hit her, and now she doesn't understand you.

Paul turned to look at Elisa after what she said, “weirdo? Did you just call me that?”

“Paul, stop acting childish!” You groaned. “Elisa got dizzy…when girls are in their…you know what, they can feel dizzy. Especially when they lose even more blood.” You mumbled to him as you pointed at her shin. It may not be the smartest excuse, but Paul doesn't know a single thing about women's bodies and you know he's going to feel weird and awkward when anyone mentions ‘periods’.

Paul looked down in embarrassment after what you said, turning to look back at you. “Um��sorry I forgot you guys get that, I'll just leave.” He talked under his breath, before opening the door and leaving you both alone.

Both of you and Elisa exhaled in sync, before turning to each other with a soft smile.

Elisa looked away from you to the door, “he's a dick.”

You sighed as you relaxed into the seat, “Yeah I don't know what else to do with him,”

You looked at your painted nails, avoiding Elisa's glance. You wanted to speak about this with someone, but you didn't like to put your problems into someone even if it was your best friend. “He didn't even…bother to ask me out properly like the movies.”

Elisa noticed the deep frown on your face. She never expected a day where the both of you are sitting down and talking about boys, but it felt slightly better to know that you're opening up now especially after the two months of ignoring and distancing yourself from her. Maybe you weren't as mean as she made you seem in her head, and she liked this vulnerable side of you. “Well… he's a guy, what did you expect from him?”

You let out a scoff, “it just feels like no guy is good enough. We always put the effort in everything, he couldn't even care about what dress I'll wear or flowers or anything.”

Elisa wanted to make a gay joke, but she still didn't trust you enough to joke that way. And considering the way you behaved around her drawing just a few hours ago, she didn't think it would be a good idea. “You're too pretty and smart for him anyways.”

You looked up to glance at her, but she was looking at her taped up shin. Did she mean it? A deep blush ran through your face, and you let out a soft giggle at the thought of her thinking you deserve better than the most handsome guy of your class.

“Yeah? Like who?” You questioned. Maybe Elisa knows someone she can set you up with for the next prom, or maybe she can help you find the love you always yearned for but the boys are too immature and inappropriate…Or maybe she'd say she's the one for you.

Elisa glimpsed at you and stayed quiet with no response for a few seconds. She shrugged, “none of the guys here for sure. Maybe somewhere else.”

Elisa didn't like the attention you just gave her. You turned a compliment into a questionnaire she can't answer. But who is there to blame but herself, she's the one who said you deserve someone better. Elisa loved the small giggle that came out of you. No matter how much she hated your behavior towards her, she always liked making girls realize guys are trash.

You crossed your hands in front of you as you rested your head on them, looking up to Elisa from your seat. She was deep in thought, and you started wondering if she'd ever date a girl in your school. Would she give her flowers every week? Would she receive flowers?... She's still a girl no matter how different she dresses, and she still deserves them. Would she be a physical person like the students that do PDA? Or would she pretend she doesn't know her girlfriend to not gain attention?

Elisa noticed you staring at her weird, the same glance she'd see Katoto has when she looks at Adam. Her ears turned pink and she pulled out her phone to complain to Marie about the ‘Voldemort guy’ interrupting what could've been your first ever sane conversation.

You were probably thinking about Paul, right? Maybe your ‘dream’ man since the both of you were talking about it.

You realized your thoughts were drifting too much, so you closed your eyes tightly and hoped sleep would come and take you somewhere away from Elisa. You shouldn't be thinking about her that way. And you also shouldn't assume her sexuality, like what that Quora response said…even after what she said about guys.

Elisa had noticed you sleeping, so she concluded that your dreamy stare at her was probably sleepiness making you tired. She sat there and scrolled on her Facebook and Instagram.

When she realized that it had been over an hour of her time in the office, she knew she couldn't use that excuse anymore and needed to focus on the other classes. She stood up and approached you, whispering your name.

When she didn't see you react, she knew she had to touch you. But she didn't know how, childishly afraid of tapping your arm. Your fringe had been covering your face, so Elisa lightly moved them away and placed them behind your ears, hoping you wouldn't feel her touch. Elisa always had short hair and she never wanted to grow it out, but she still loved the feeling of hair in her fingers. Fleur gets frustrated whenever Elisa plays with her hair, and Katoto has braids so Elisa was ‘not allowed’ to touch her hair no matter what (she tried one day and Marie yelled at her).

Your eyes scrunched at the feeling of soft fingers on your forehead, and when you opened your eyes you saw Elisa's horrified eyes. You sat up looking confused, worrying about why she looked like she had seen a ghost. “umm… sorry for touching your hair I tried to wake you up but you didn't wake up from my voice.” Elisa rambled quickly, stepping away from you towards the door.

“Wait,” you groaned out, “You're leaving me?”

Elisa smiled at your confused face, slowly speaking so you could understand, “I spent too much time here already, I can't miss more classes.”

She almost laughed at the way your face contorted, something deep in her is warming up and now her whole body is burning. She knows she needs to leave this room before her thoughts start spiraling, so she gave you a small wave and left the office.

Maybe it was the sleepiness talking, but for once, you finally knew that Elisa is a sweet person… and your heart break from the morning today came back, when you realized that what happened today was only a one time thing.

___

~ yes, the next chapter will be prom

~ fun fact, there are some countries in Europe that do prom nowadays. Maybe not back in the 2010s but this is fanfiction so xx

~ did you guys notice something about Paul's looks? yeah y/n has a type ;)

[kalivasquezart]

Just wanted to say that I absolutely love your au about the Pioneer. Its so well thought out and just overall amazing and oh boy dont even get me started on your art— absolutely beautiful💖💕

I also am working on an au based off of Artis pups and when I found you I was like 🫢🫵 Very similar ideas 👀👀👀Also Hunter as Pioneer’s mentor is SUCH A COOL CONCEPT— Like like cause Hunters my favorite scug and the fact that you included him in your au and as Marbles’ mentor is just *squeals* but it also makes a lot of sense considering he comes a little bit after Arti and is one of the few scugs who can encounter pups in their campaign. I also wanted to ask if its okay with you if I use that idea/concept in my own au 👉👈

I was also thinking about Pioneer’s brother— Ik you said that you hc him as being dead, like officially, but I thought it would be interesting if he was still alive. I personally was inspired to let him live in my au simply because of some official art of Gorum (specifically his endings art especially the food quest one where he has a suspiciously familiar green slugpup). I was thinking something like what happened to Surv and Monk (the one-way pipe considering the fact that he kind of began to drift to the right as he sank) happened to him and Gorum found him. Idk these are just ideas Im using for my own au but thought I would share.

I just realized this is super long sorry HANDNAND I am insane and write too much

ahhhh thank you for the kind words skek YOU FLATTER ME~

[there are rain world spoilers regarding artificer's capaign below, be warned]

while my current headcanon is that the green pup died, i've been thinking very hard about it for the last week or so, and IMO there's a high chance i will retcon that. if the pipe thing is canon to Surv/Monk campaigns then i'm even more eager to adopt that idea. my only real hold-up about the pup was that we clearly see it drown in Arti's dream (the same flashing aura behaviour when you swim underwater), and if he really did drown then the only way to bring him back to life would be through karmic rebirth "last checkpoint save" kind of thing… which feels a bit cheap? a little too simple for me. i'm heavily biased here, because a while ago i read an interesting lore post of someone trying to explain why Arti's pups wouldn't "respawn" if they were killed, while Arti did. in short, the pups were too young to be bound by karma and so when they died, they died for good (reincarnated as a different creature, maybe) - but Artificer being an adult and already having experienced the urges before, was brought back. if i can, i will try to find that post again, and link it here.

ANYWAY yeah, personal AUs don't have to strictly comform to the game's canon, i keep forgetting about that. hell, i've seen people revive scav king or, i dunno, SOS from the dead, and they made it work.

speaking of my AU again, i may also have headcanon'd Arti's mate as a semi-aquatic scug (less freaky than riv tho), and so Bryn/green pup would have inherited some of those genes, making him more likely to survive the drowning. so yeah, i think i like the storytelling potential of keeping the pup alive, althought i'd have to sit down and do a proper brainstorming on what that means… when Arti and Marbles eventually reunite with their long lost other half of the family.

by the way, if you (or anyone else reading this post) wants to use my ideas in their own AU then i'm okay with that! no need to credit or anything. many people come up with similar concepts anyway, it'd be silly to try and police them on it.

[omgpoindexter]

any nurseydex fics on ur mind lately? I find myself thinking about them more lately but seem to have read everything for them!

to be honest i’ve not been reading too many new fics lately, i’ve mainly been writing. hopefully some of my own fics will be out there and on your mind early next year!

but here’s some from the amazing folks on this here site that stay on my mind. most of them aren’t new, i’m not very good at keeping up to date, but hopefully there’s something new for you here that you’ll love!

under the cut because this got long <3

a comprehensive guide to not talking about it by @alocalband

Nursey tried to kiss him.

Derek Nurse tried to kiss him.

The more Dex thinks about it, the more absolutely ridiculous it sounds.

one of my favourite fics of all time. just perfect. read anything by them actually, they’re all brilliant! this one though, i revisit it so often i could recite it by now.

to be alone with you also by alocalband

Will and Derek spend their junior year learning how to live together, learning how to be friends, and, eventually, figuring out that they'd like to be more.

im not going to list all of their fics (even though i could) but this one needs listing. always on my mind.

marie, hold on tight (and down we went) by @petedavidsonscock

Nursey says, “I’m melancholic as fuck right now, bros.”

Chowder opens his mouth to prompt him to continue, but Dex elbows him and mutters, “Don’t encourage him.”

short but so, so sweet. they’re best friends!!! also poor chowder. his endless over it-ness is one of my favourite nurseydex tropes

counting stars (what we could be) also by petedavidsonscock

Nursey has spent the last four years pretending to believe in astrology to annoy Dex. But with graduation coming up, the bit has to come to an end. Luckily, Dex is probably going to take the news in a really chill, normal, casual way.

this made me laugh out loud. nursey would totally do this and it would absolutely play out in this exact way. hilarious

in front of the same bathroom mirror by @geniusorinsanity

It's not surprising that sharing a room changes things, but neither of them expect the most important conversations in their strange, awkward friendship to happen in their shared bathroom.

(Or: five conversations Dex and Nursey have in a shared bathroom, and one in bed.)

UGH! just something about nursey and dex learning to live alongside each other and talking about the important things and being BEST FRIENDS. and kissing. obviously. this is another fic i reread every month or so

too much (extra) by @denois / @sexydexynurse

Dex nodded, not moving his gaze from the path in front of them. "Well, if there's anything I can do to help, I've got your back."

Snorting, Nursey's mouth let out the first words he thought without his permission. "Not much you can do unless you're going to date me."

i was smiling all the way through this and so i think more people need to read it. it’s super cute. dex wooing nursey is honestly one of my fave things because he deserves it!!!!

kiss my chapped lips and call me yours by @omgdexnursey

Dex prefers things that are easy, simple, and straightforward.

Nursey is none of those things.

angst warning, but also CUTE WARNING. this is a really sweet story. because nursey is SO MUCH and dex doesn’t get it until he does. but them learning to take care of each other and being soft… i need a minute

i’m sinking fast (it’s alright)

Dex blinks up at the ceiling a few times, trying to reckon with himself and the constant loop of what are we doing what are we doing what are we doing spinning through his dehydrated brain.

When he turns his head, Nursey's already dozing off. Dex sighs, gazing back up at the ceiling, puzzled by the warm press of Nursey’s leg against his, the very insistence of them sharing a bed.

Friends don’t do this, he thinks.

the character development in this is just. i love it. the journey through the seasons, the passage of time… gorgeous

i’m a fire and i’ll keep your brittle heart warm by @jennybeantime

It's senior year and No, Dex is Not attracted to Nursey and No, he is Not going to do anything about it.

use a taylor song as your fic title and you’ve got me. obsessed with how soppy and cute this story is. obsessed with dex having absolutely zero self control. obsessed!!!!

can’t hide from you like i hide from myself by @andtimestoodstill

In which Dex has only applied to jobs in cities that Nursey has applied to grad schools in. They are Not Together.

oh gosh, their banter and interactions in this are so charming, chowder and the others included. even the arguing (there’s arguing!! angst warning!!!). i really enjoyed this, i never read much later fic but this is a great example. adorable

[expiredgirlfriend]

Miguel O’hara

Miguel O'hara

18+ pls!

a mix of thoughts I have of Miguel. or headcanons?

mentions: sex, oral, claws, marking, kinks. (if i missed anything sorry let me know!) 

ps. i use you, and try to avoid anything gender specific :) there’s maybe two things targeted towards a specific gender… but it’s for all of you and i’d hate to leave anyone out.

_____________________________________________________________

I know this man goes feral during sex.

He leaves claw marks on the bed frames, even if its cloth it's been shredded, wooden frames just have thousands of claw marks. You can't own pillows with feathers anymore because of him.

Many many people have said this but this man is so touch starved, and he def got some kinks. Breeding is one for sure, and marking as well.

You're four poster bedframe, was suddenly turned into just a normal bedframe after you two, mostly him, broke the poles.

I imagine Twilight, the honey moon scene, where they wreck the shit out of the bed.  You two are always stuck buying new pillows, and trying to come up with crafty at home ways to fix the bed.

The legs on the couch are snapped off, and you've hidden the claw marks with pillows incase guests come over.

You guys cannot in any form have sex on an air mattress, Miguel digs his claws into it and you end up deflating it faster from his thrusts.

He definitely has a lot of stamina, and thanks to that, quickies don't exist. Quickies turn into hours of being railed up against the wall in the bathroom of someone else's house.

He doesn't care if his PDA is too much, if anyone points it out he gets hella annoyed. You're his and he wants everyone to know.

He loves to tease oh my god, you'll be out at dinner and sitting at a table and he will stick his hand in your pants, he does not care. But you do, he just lets his animalistic side take over, a lot.

The breeding kink?? This man will fill you, and pump it in with his dick or his thick fingers. This man is so obsessive. Seeing him bulge through your stomach sets him off!!!

He marks you hardcore, even if it's in view or not. Your chest will definitely be covered in puncture wounds from his fangs, and love bites all over. Which always results in you swimming with shorts and a tank top, because those love bites scatter your thighs. He has no shame!! And I know this man is PACKING.

He's thick and at most 10 inches, even you don't know how he hides it in his suit.

He's a whimperer, but only for you of course. When he's close and losing control he'll press your bodies together in a mating press, and  he'll whimper in your ears, and won't even pull out.

His back, oh his poor back is covered in scratches from you digging your nails into his back, which he doesn't mind letting it be revealed when he wears his tight tank tops, and swimming trunks.

Oh and he can eat. You don't give him enough attention, suddenly his head is in between your legs and your overstimulated but oh boy he loves to overstimulate you whew this man

___________________________________________________________

i need put in a padded room for writing this me thinks

also me posting this on my alt tumblr bc i have too many close friends following me on my main im afraid they’ll question me

i've never written anything like this, Miguel has me down bad swear. I may post more things like this, I'm not sure but thanks for reading <3

[boy-above]

on this pride month i've decided that the current closest descriptor for my gender is...

i'm gonna do a whole lot of talking abt my gender and stuff, honestly it's mostly for myself to organize my thoughts but i do like talking abt myself sometimes so if you read, thank you i guess

before i figured out i was a boy i ID'd as nonbinary for several years, i was hesitant to ID as masculine because at the time the community was so drenched with radfem ideology that myself and a lot of other transmascs were afraid to come out / even think about exploring masculinity because we were constantly being told how evil men were all the time. so instead i went through like, so many nonbinary labels, but none of them really suited me, i discovered. agender, bigender, genderfluid, i tried a lot of them. the thing is that i knew i didn't want to be a Girl, but was very hesitant to consider i was a Boy because of the previously mentioned radfem rhetoric being spread. this isn't a post to talk about that though, you've heard a lot about that from me already lmao. it's just an important component of the struggles with gender i had growing up.

anyway, once i finally accepted i was a boy, i was excited. i checked the boxes for a trans man, i wanted a dick (and am still mad i don't have one), i wanted he/him pronouns, i was comfortable being called a boy, etc. and i still want all of those things, so why am i starting to question the trans man label?

i think mostly it comes down to how my gender has been shaped by societal and environmental expectations. i have gender dysphoria but not in an entirely "traditional" way. i want a dick, i want a flat chest, i want a deeper voice. but im also gender nonconforming, and have no interest trying to do traditionally masculine things to "fit in" with cis men. i don't think femininity is some horrible thing to be avoided, i like a lot of feminine things and don't think so many things should be gendered in the first place. i don't think trying hormones would fix me because there's other ways i Don't want to look like a man. if anything i would say Nothing can truly fix my dysphoria because i don't want to look like Anything. there is no perfect me i can envision in my head, if anything i don't even want to look human; i don't even want to be perceived. there's also parts of me that no amount of surgery to fix, im only 4'9 for example, and even cis men get berated for being short let alone trans men.

that's why i've only told my immediate family, my friends, and my doctor that i'm a boy. i never plan of publicly coming out. on the rare occasion i do, i settle with they/them instead of my preferred he/him because it's just easier that way. you get a lot of laughing and eyerolling as a feminine looking person if you try to use he/him. ive been trans for so many years but i can never truly escape the chance that people might perceive me as a "trender" (hate that word, gag) because i simply don't pass. and then of course there's my parents who refuse to use he/him and will only use they/them. they know i want he/him but they won't even try. they're just like "you can't really expect us to call you a boy."

i have so much sympathy for fellow closeted people. the community never considers you and it ends up being a lonely place. you don't fit in with cis people but other trans people don't want you. once i read a piece called "i am a trans woman, i am in the closet, i am not coming out." and i can't even tell you how important that writing was to me. i read it at just the right time, years ago when i think i really needed it. it's one of the only things that made me feel like staying in the closet was an option. that i can only be out where i feel safe.

i've questioned before if my gender nonconformity and the way people treat non-passing individuals is the true reason i've become skeptical of my trans man identity. i think most likely it is, i think that if we lived in a world where it was perfectly socially exceptable to be a feminine trans man and people in public would accept me and treat me like a boy, i'd have no problem saying "i'm a trans man", but we don't live in that world. the world we're in right now has no room for people like me, and it's something i've had to accept. another thing worth mentioning is that i don't even really like the word 'man' being applied to me, i just felt like i had to use it because some people treat trans boys badly if they prefer 'boy' over 'man'. but i like being a boy. the word boy suits me better. the word man just doesn't seem applicable to me. i'm not masculine enough and the word just feels kinda wrong in my brain, the same way being called "handsome" does. i want to be cute, and calling me handsome would just be inaccurate. do you get what im saying?

but anyway, i think demiboy suits me because its more 'loose' than trans man for lack of a better word. its less specific and i think thats what i need right now. im a boy, but calling myself binary doesnt quite feel right. calling myself nonbinary also doesnt feel right though. like i said i ID'd as nonbinary for several years so i have no problem with the label in general, it just doesnt feel right when applied to me personally. it's kinda weird to describe, i know demiboy is not a binary identity, therefore is by definition nonbinary, but the word nonbinary itself just doesnt vibe with me, so i guess i would prefer not to call myself nonbinary??? i dont know how to describe it, it's just a labels thing. because like i said, i feel like trans boy isnt an entirely wrong way to describe me Either. im rambling now because i know my labels problem doesnt make sense. anyway uh yeah. i'm a demiboy. and for anyone who didn't see the post i made a while back, i use he/him and sometimes it/its. unenthusiastically throws a handful of confetti

[kragehund-est]

I live in a strict religious environment where my parents don't even let me leave the house without a long skirt. They send me to a private school with a similar dress code, and all the girls there are obessed with getting married as soon as they graduate. They're all conservative normies and creepy af. I really want to cut my hair short, wear pants, just be masc and live my lesbian truth. But for now I'm trapped in this cage until I'm no longer a minor and can move out of my parents' house. Even then, I would be afraid to leave my community because it's all I know. Even though I live in a regular big city they're kind of isolated socially. All I have are my internet friends.

How do I cope

im sorry for your situation and i hope you can stay strong. i've been through something similar (to a lesser extent) so i'll try to give the best advice i can, but keep in mind im just a person on the internet.

so, i know a lot of people might say to come out of the closet loud and proud, but keep in mind this is never an obligation, especially if your safety and wellbeing is at risk. you might have to lay low for a while, and the #1 thing in that case is don't give up hope.

this doesn't mean you can't resist. if your parents are just strict but not abusive, you can push the boundaries and they might get worn down. try go out for a casual walk in pants, cut your hair as short as they'll allow, toe the line of what you can get away with. if they get any more lenient, push a little further. if they double down, ease off it.

lastly, removing yourself is scary. whether it's a leap of faith or a slow withdrawal, you might feel like you're alone in it. controlling communities are really good at convincing you that everyone on the outside is unfriendly and unreliable, but you'd be surprised how many people out there will become close friends just from casual, regular interaction. connections are one of the greatest assets we have as a social species, and knowing the right people can help you through anything, sometimes in unexpected ways.

try meeting people outside of your community in a low-threat situation. join a book club where you don't know anyone, volunteer at an animal shelter, get a part time job. libraries are a great place to start for all sorts of clubs and events.

online friends are a great way to stay strong, my three best friends in the world are from estonia, hungary, and germany. you can (carefully!) get to know people from all around the world in similar situations to you.

i hope this could be helpful to you in any way. if anyone else has any thoughts, i'd love to hear them.

[ewyaschild]

🤍 THE SISTER SCANDAL 🤍

a/n: i have nothing to say. read it or don't. miss out. and bitch do you think this is beta read? LMAOAOAOAOA

warnings: suggestive 😘 naughty jeffry 😩 and out of character everyone

a shadow appeared overhead as a private jet flew over the reef. the arrival horn bellowed throughout the town and many gathered to see this human-like technology.

as the jet landed, the chief of the metkayina, tonowari, approached the jet with caution.

"a demon ship!" "they've came for us!" scared civilians shouted. "my people. don't be afraid; this ship does not pose any threat. fall back." tonowari calmly stated.

"WHAT'S UP YALL!" a zesty voice shouted from the demon ship. "guys we just landed in pandora and the reef people have me GAGGED. look at their muscles! WIG!!!!" a short (compared to their 10 foot asses) blonde tatted man strutted on an invisible runway with a man in black holding a camera, filming him. "what business do you have placing that chunk of metal on my land!" the tsahik, ronal hissed.

"OOP! don't be upset mama, i'm just here to document my vacation on ur beautiful island purrr." the twink looked her up and down, with a cheeky smile. "and YOU big daddy 😘 must be the chief! will you let me stay? i've flown all the way here and i am completely jet lagged." blondie bitch rubbed tonowari's muscular arms and blinked up at the chief with puppy dog eyes.

2 Months Later

getting from pandora to earth was pretty rocky so jeffery decided to stay and try to live amongst the reef people. he had to retire his lace frontal since the salt water kept washing it away, but tonowari still thought he was beautiful, even bald. he'd never admit that to ronal though.

jeffery and tonowari get along well, the whole clan learned to love jeffery although he was a demon. he became admirable, sitting in the middle of a circle of children telling them all they need to know about birkins and mikaylas false eyelash scandal.

one night tonowari sneaks out his hammock and down the shoreline, where he finds jeffery. at their usual spot. "hey baby boy." the na'vi smirks. "hi big daddy". jeffery responds while tonowari lays down next to him. "we need to talk." "oh no. we do? i'm shook. we've been healthy!" tonowari sighs at his response. "baby it's not that. i don't know if i can keep sneaking out of my hammock to come meet you. my kids are getting suspicious."

"fuck them kids baby breed me instead 😩" jeffery moans. "jeffy im serious. it's hurting me" jeffery lays his head on tonowaris man tits and strokes his abs lovingly. "i know. break the news to your wife, tell her you want to be with me. or don't, i'm open to threesomes." "i'll suggest it. thank you my little scooby do DOOP."

they fall asleep at the shoreline, snoring a beautiful song.

a/n 2: i couldn't fucking do that to myself anymore i had to end it there. for context, i had a dream tonowari and jeffery star bands together and kidnapped me. that sparked this monstrosity! if u read this all the way thru ur amazing.

[dcviated]

MUNDAY: GETTING TO KNOW YOU

Respond to the following prompts out of character, then tag others you'd like to get to know a little bit better!

ROLEPLAYER NAME: bear! or will, I don't mind being referred to by my real name but even my wife calls me bear most of the time, so-

ROLEPLAYER PRONOUNS: he/him

MUSE NAME: I feel the mainstays will always be Wylan, Raguna, and Eira. But many many others-

PREFERRED COMMUNICATION: As needed. I'm low maintenance while still considering us 'in contact'. But I do love getting sent random bits as relevant and commentary on threads. I can be short or slow on replies at times though. Discord all the way over tumblr IM.

EXPERIENCE: Back when I was 15 or 16 on forums. I did some avatar games that had roleplay baked into it as well that were good. Did a lot of RP in warcraft back during BC to WOTLK, but could not get into it in FFXIV. Tumblr has been my favorite place to write, by far. I love getting into longer form. On that note-

PREFERRED ROLEPLAY TYPE: Literate paragraphs! I can't stay bantering in short stuff to save my life. Like a leak I inevitably switch over to having a paragraph. Then two. Maybe three. I'm pretty comfy around the 300-500 word length on my replies. I get intimidated when they get consistently longer and writer's block starts to lay its bricks.

PET PEEVES & DEALBREAKERS: An inability to meet halfway when plotting is brought up. I don't like being waited on like it's my responsibility to come up with a compelling plot that I suspect you'll half-ass reply to. Have some advocation for what you want. Otherwise ... yeah.

Also an overabundance of context-less dash commentary. Particularly connected to their discord happenings. Some blogs feel less 'indie' and more pseudo-group related. And if you're not involved good luck.

PLOTS OR MEMES: I like to think I'm pretty good rolling with the punches! I can do memes, random asks, and memes and ad-libbing a situation out of a few back and forth banters is really amusing. It's also easier than front-loading a ton of plotting that may or may not be realized anyway. Letting events happen off the cuff feels more dynamic and allows more surprises for both writing parties. <:

That said, don't mind plotting whatsoever! So long as the other person actually wants it and isn't going through the motion of it because it's 'what people do'. Also... I hope they're ready for the long game if so? Like they want to let the plot play out and not just making a plot and then jumping to the end of it.

Pre-establish-jutsu is not plotting!!

LONG REPLIES OR SHORT REPLIES: Middle?? Both?? There's a time for everything but like I said before I'm a fan of 300-500 words for my replies. Sometimes I like them shorter, others longer. But we're biasing towards the 'long' given when a lot of what's in vogue as of late.

BEST TIME TO WRITE: Whenever I can put my adhd into proper submission. I like writing at the office (after I have my work for the day handled) because it separates me from the usual distractions but we can only be so strong...

I like writing earlier in the day! I feel like my best work is done in the mornings, after all. And the head is clearer before I've hit lunch. So on weekends where I don't have plans and I can make myself sit down at a keyboard before everyone else is around, that's just great.

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSES: Like any good oc writer, I pull out little pieces of myself and cram them into other beings to irreversibly corrupt them not unlike a certain villain from a certain manga. People have called me dad in the past... perhaps that fits better than I thought.

tagged by: @triinitas (thank!!) tagging: gosh this one has gone around a few times, steal it if you like!

[sukunasun]

I finished the "Say It's Here" sequel and gosh, I'm bowled over! I feel like your understanding of each character's psychology has been heightened since the original was published and It's so impressive! I particularly enjoyed how economical you were with the descriptions according to each character's personality, motivation and dynamic with the protagonist

Also, my god, not higuruma hiromi being the highest quality rebound ever???? Currently obsessed with him and it's kinda funny/sad how many parallels people draw between him and Nanami, understandably, but I LOVE that you flesh out their distinctions here too. Not quite a cameo but he feels more fully realised and real(?) in his short scene than in some entire pics revolving around him that I've read! I quiver to consider what you'd unleash upon the world with a full fledged fic for him (with a different reader character ofc)

But Srsly how does she keep hooking such hotties

Higuruma's "ruthless" rationale and observations is rather kind in its own way, and I thoroughly enjoyed how accurate it felt and also that the reader doesn't mistake it for anything affectionate or coddling. I find that clarity extremely appealing about him, plus it must feel so ridiculously refreshing to the reader character after all the guesswork and her ordeal with nanami

I also think that's one of the more satisfying distinctions you make with their portrayals; nanami (initially) employs logic as a coping mechanism, whereas it's hiromi's basis for functioning, a bit like a bug versus a feature?

At least in accordance with canon events, I think that mindset translates well, nanami's response to traumatic incidences in his formative years whereas hiromi had this rationality inform his life's work?

Especially when ambiguity is often the fulcrum for romantic tension (will they/won't they), my mind short-circuits and a little shiver goes down my spine at the thought of Hiromi instead bluntly telling someone: Us? Sure, Why not?

And then calmly proceeds to decimate every excuse one tries to tank their own dating prospects. You can't filibuster flirting with this man, he's so fucking direct (and vice versa 🤭, sometimes a gal just wants a classic Dom yknow. God, i need help)

A N Y

W A Y

Nanami feels more than he lets on in this story, Hiromi is exactly what you expect - which is such an interesting lesson or refraction for the reader character in managing her expectations and self-doubt

Nanami's grovelling feels mostly earned, maybe because it's been a while since I read Say It's Here his interiority is a tad more obscured, or cause the sequel more heavily focuses on reader's POV, which is really well assisted by suguru's commentary/probing/ribbing. Special shoutout to satoru's point blank shit stirring (he and hiromi would be fabulous frenemies)

Also love the open ending because ironically it feels better than emotional closure??? Or probably the finality of her rejecting nanmi again, oof. It's such a satisfying coda oddly i (almost) don't want this story to continue. What a magic trick!

There's such finesse in all the characterisations here, even without my massive bias for higuruma I'd be rereading this a dozen times!

;__; im so sorry this response is so late but thank you so much for sending this in. i'm so glad you got to read the piece!

i care more for the opinions of nanami stans for being able to write/understand him and his appeal in a way i can't. still, i try my best to offer something worthwhile. the open ending was more because i couldn't decide the best outcome for the reader and nanami. there were moments i thought about writing an epilogue to hint at the possibility of them getting back together but i've decided it's best to leave it up for interpretation. after all, nanami comes off to me as someone who wouldn't need a 'yes' right away.

also re: higuruma— gahh i was so uncertain if i did him justice, so thank you for noticing that distinction. often i'll write and delete and write again because i worry if it wasn't clear enough. to me, he's very different to nanami. not even the same sides of a coin. still, i get the comparison. both have been strung into the dilf narrative so often i forget that nanami is literally three years older than me.

[stardustfrin]

GHIS IS ME ENABLING YOU GIVE ME THE SEPHIRAH SCRUNGLY'S CORES YO SUPPRESS

OKOKOK SO. im putting this all under a cut because its long as hell. this is mostly how i think they'd function in the game, but includes minimal details [it was not minimal god help] on why shits fucked

Keuoh's unlocks first out of the two, and after the middle layer Sephirot's cores have been suppressed.

What I focused on here is his ability to open and close the doors of containment units. His responsibility is usually to keep these shut. He doesn't here, the fucker.

Throughout the day, he will cause sporadic qliphoth meltdowns, and cause things to breach at certain meltdown levels. This selection is random.

During his event, the trumpet borders that show at the corners of the screen show indefinitely until the core supression is over with, the warning level gradually going up as the day goes on. Keuoh your core suppression would be awful if it were actually in the game. Hod bless.

This is the song I've kinda associated with it,, I associate Keouh with many an Everhood song. This one specifically I imagine playing in the background tbh.

Peirché's core suppression unlocks after Keouh's core has been suppressed.

Peirché has a hostile breach!! Like An Arbiter and Red Mist. I've been calling it Pink Smoke [after the Scary Jokes song] as a placeholder, but this is subject to change lol

I don't have specifics sorted out for his yet. All I have down is that he has a chainsaw. Bro got into the Residential Departmen's supply closet. It's harder to work out specifics as quickly for him JDHJAFJ

These are the songs I associate with his core suppression, though they're subject to change as I figure more stuff out. Ordered based on how early/late I think they'd play.

OKAY NOW TO WHY SHITS FUCKED.

For Keouh I already went on my whole spiel about him. Angela is waiting for him to die or slip up in some way that gives her an excuse to terminate him. He is also extremely broken, in a literal sense. His problems boil down to not wanting to die yet and grappling with the fact that it happening in the near future is an inevitably in his eyes, whether it be him getting terminated or succumbing to his damage. He's given up, and yet he doesn't want to let go.

Peirché hates it here. That's the short version. It's all just bubbled up to the surface and come out as an infuriated outburst. He seems to be the type to get used a lot, though he isn't naive to this fact. He simply lets it happen, even if he isn't exactly content with it. Kindness requires sacrifice or whatever.

As this went on, though, resentment started to build up inside him. Resentment for the people who do take advantage of his kind will. However, hearing about how Keouh, literally his best friend, had been treated is what pushed him over the edge.

Well, it's that combined with the fact that he was expected to have his work shoved onto him, being forced to shoulder someone else’s burden again just because the idea of giving those duties to another department was 'a waste of space'. Plus the fact that Keouh didn't trust him enough to tell him. He doesn't hold any anger towards him for it, they do end up talking about it, but it's definitely at least a bit of a factor here.

Basically, mostly unrelated things cause Peirché's emotions to overload, and become the catalyst for a completely different problem. He's tired of being treated like dirt by his peers. Why should he have to suffer for being nice? If the simple act of being kind means being trampled over, maybe he'd prefer to be mean and scary instead.

mentally ill robots yaayyy!!!!

[dear-mortality]

the shepherd prince

Chapter thirteen: a packed day

Chapters

Ether and enfys woke up at the same time the moment they heard a knock on the door. Enfys made their way to the door looking a little annoyed while ether put his cape on.

"hello guests! I am here to deliver some of zatieons delicacies for breakfast! Don't worry; nothing here is too much on an empty stomach." Stated the short, old, smiling maid who was holding a big tray filled with food in it. smelling like sunshine and dressed a little more fancy than the others ether and enfys have seen around the place. Her clothes had a headscarf and a light veil with a slightly more loose dress, decorated with all sorts of beautiful patterns and stitches. The others clothes weren't nearly as well done and had more golden tones than her pretty silver clothes.

Enfys quickly hid his annoyance due to her infectious cheerfulness with a smile. "Oh thank you! That's so nice- please do come in!" They exclaimed while opening the door fully and getting out of her way

"such polite company! No wonder the ruler has been talking about you two nonstop- *GAAAASP*" she stood in shock as she looked up to ether

"oh no" ethers thought bubble showed that sentence as it got filled with awful thoughts of how this will go. It almost clouded the picture completely before she ended up saying something loudly he didn't hear anyone tell him before

"you are so CUTE!"

"wh-huh??" Ether was confused but a little happy

"oh my gods why did you have to be so tall! i want to hug you and kiss your cheeks so bad awww! Would you lower down for this old lady my child?"

He quickly knelt for her. She did as she said she would while saying things that sound gibberish but enfys recognised as baby talk. Ether was so happy but also overwhelmed and seemed like he was about to wail like a small kid who couldn't contain his happiness before enfys noticed and had to distract the sweet lady.

"OH UHHH SO UHM WHAT DID YOU BRING US? IT LOOKS DELICIOUS!" He yelled with a wide smile to grab her attention. She let go of ether quickly to turn to enfys and answer him. Ether seemed a little disappointed but he pulled it together.

"oh how rude of me! Im sorry children this old lady isn't as good as she used to be about control. *Ahem* we have some special saltless cheese from our best cows at the north farms, we have some pickled vegetables- careful! They're a little too salty to eat as anything but appetizers so don't overdo it! Then there's flatbread of the highest quality, some specially prepared beans, tea and of course our well known mini jam filled pastry- kahk!" She talked as if she had already said that before a million times, her experience with guests couldn't help but shine through as she kept them both paying attention and waiting for her to finish and try it for themselves

"that all sounds amazing! Thank you so much for this." Enfys told her after she had just finished

"what's your name?" Asked ether before thinking about the question too much. Enfys looked at him as if he did something rude and almost said something before the lady answered quickly. "Oh how sweet of you to ask that my child. My name is Laila. Im the official coordinator of all those who work in anything related to hospitality. I don't normally get to do the fun parts of the job anymore because we don't get as many visitors but im glad i ended up doing Probably one of my last times for two such good children."

Ether looked really sad after she said that and slanted his head

"what do you mean laila? Are you retiring?"

She looked at him and smiled warmly.

"no my child. Im just really old and will die soon. I don't think i can hold on for another 5 years." Shs stated softly before laughing a little. "I've had a good life. Filled with kind people like you who care about those who others normally take their kindness for granted." She sighed. "Welp. My birthday was last week but I'll take the time you wasted with me as a late gift haha! I turned 186."

Ether quickly approached her with tears in his eyes before hugging her tight and crying on her shoulder.

"I don't think time spent with you- no matter how little- is a waste. I don't think anyone would think that laila. Sorry i wasn't here earlier for your birthday. Im glad i got to meet you and spend even the littlest amount of time with you. Thank you for your kindness and good work."

Enfys and laila were shocked as he said that while sniffling and crying. Enfys got closer to hug her with him.

"I couldn't have said it better myself. Thank you for your hard work lady laila. We may not have known you for long but we're glad to have had the privilege to meet you."

Laila couldn't contain her tears as she hugged them both. "You two. Made this old lady. Very happy. You remind me so much of my children. i wish i had you as my children too. Tell me your names. I want to remember the kindest guests i ever had." She told them while frowning as she's trying so hard to not start weeping right there with Tears running down her face.

"im ether"

"im enfys"

"ether, enfys, thank you for letting me know that my work will always be appreciated even if i don't think im as good at it anymore. Thank you for reminding me that just being here is important. I know i just met you but i love you both dearly and from now on if you need anything you just come to grandma laila ok?"

They both laughed and nodded

"good." She let go of them both as they all stood up again. "Now have fun eating this breakfast! I have other things to do now but im so glad i got to do this first, you're my favourite guests ever. Goodbye, enfys. Goodbye, ether." She stated as she left and closed the door with them waving at her

She walked down the hallway with her head raised and wiping her tears

Ether got to the food and started eating but he seemed still sad

"aaaaare youuuu enjoying the food?"

"hm? Oh. Yes. Its delicious."

"then what's wrong? She seemed quite happy leaving here."

"im not sad about laila. Im upset with you..."

That sentence hurt enfys alot more than they'd like to admit but they seemed to hide how much it hurt well because ether did not notice

"oh dear, well if you tell me what i did wrong I'll tell you sorry right now."

"well...." ether put down the food. "The look you gave me didn't seem nice, and if i didn't ask her this she wouldn't be so happy. Can you please stop treating me like im dumb? I know it's hard to know what and what to not say when i never interacted with anyone else but i feel like you're overdoing it sometimes." He sounded annoyed but his face showed he was obviously more upset than he's showing

Enfys seemed a little embarrassed "im sorry ether its really not you.....im just used to being the mature one in these situations since i handle offical business alot for the guild. I was also the most responsible kid so i always had to look out after my siblings and these things come out of me naturally. I promise I'll try to be lesssssss.... controlling."

"thanks. Now, come eat; this food is amazing."

Enfys and ether ate together and found the food amazing. Having finished it they got up together and left the room. As they were walking down the hallway enfys felt that there was an awkwardness between them.

"soooo what will you do today?"

"I'll probably go talk to zaroth again; it's fun hanging out with them."

"yeahhhh but you may not find them free at the moment; how about you come with me today? You can get to see researchers in action. I may not know enough to help them with directing their abilities but i can help them with difficult spells if they ever needed me soooo, you might see me in action too."

"ehh thanks but I'll probably just get back to my room and see what i can do about my arm if zaroth is busy. Maybe if i focus well enough I'll be able to get it back to normal."

"huh. You know i never actually thought about it. That sounds like a good idea."

"yeah."

They arrived at a fork in the hallway

"Alright then i guess I'll see you later ether"

"mhm. Bye, enfys."

Ether hurried to the place where zaroth took him with a quick pace

Enfys reached slightly for him while he was leaving but the words stuck in her throat

Ether walked with a smile to where zaroth maybe but he found someone on the way

"greetings, honored guest." Said aimanat who was wearing her usual full armour and seemed to have given it a new shine

"oh. Hi. Sorry; I don't know your name. My name is ether; What's yours?"

Aimanat smiled with half closed eyelids and bowed a little. "I am aimanat. Highest general in the rulers court."

"nice to meet you aimanat! Hey have you seen zaroth? I wanted to have fun with them."

Aimanats eye twitched slightly after hearing someone call zaroth by his name.

"apologies, ether. The ruler is quite busy at the moment trying to fix a problem we've been having lately with our supplies so you won't get to see him today."

"aw ok then...." ether looked sad and started walking back to his room

Aimanat rubbed her chin before getting an idea

"hey, ether!"

"hm??"

"have you ever sparred before?"

"uh. No not really. Why?"

Aimanat took ether to the sparring grounds and as they both entered the open field ether found it awesome. Aimanat was wearing lighter armour.

Despite the place being filled with scratches and broken bits from fights it managed to have a vibe of being indestructible.

"woah. This place is HUGE."

"this is my favourite field and it's where we will fight."

"wh- but you're a general and im just a guy."

"oh come on it will be fun! I'll go easy."

"okay....."

Ether hesitantly took his place on the field

"alright! Get ready! This will be hand to hand combat! No weapons allowed!" Aimanat yelled as she took a stance and was about to throw her first strike

"AH!" The startled ether suddenly tried to mimic her but was unsuccessful

"HERE I COME!" she immediately started charging to ether

Ether was scared about her landing a hit so he decided to actually take this seriously

Aimanat threw in a punch that ether deflected only for her to use that opening to hit him with the other arm. However it was unsuccessful because ether quickly used magic to make a small wind barrier that slowed her down and dodged her attack

"Oh? I thought you had no experience fighting." Aimanat fell back quickly after saying this as she was getting ready to engage again

"I DON'T!!! YOU SCARED ME INTO DOING BETTER THAN I SHOULD"

"Well when you point it out that way i feel just awful" she stated sarcastically

"Have at you!" She jumped up high, too high for ether to know where she'll fall

But he quickly ran closer to the edge of the field when she almost landed on him

"Stop running!!!!" She launched herself at him again as he was getting closer to the wall only for him to dodge her attack. She pierced through the wall like it was nothing

"EEP!! WHY DID YOU USE SO MUCH FORCE I WOULD HAVE EASILY DROPPED DEAD THERE!!" he yelled

"YOU EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE THAT?? YOU HAVE A WEREWOLF ARM ALWAYS ON SO IM SORRY FOR THINKING THAT YOU CAN DEAL WITH WHATEVER I THROW AT YOU." she yelled back while pulling her fist out of the wall

"I AM NOT IN CONTROL OF IT!! I CAN'T TURN TO A WEREWOLF AT WILL!!!"

"we will see about that."

Ether got a little angry and decided it was time for him to actually fight

Aimanat launched herself again but this time she was not going to miss

So ether didn't waste time trying to dodge

He swung his werewolf arm around hitting her from the side and making her fall right next to him. It hurt however because he used too much force and his back muscles aren't used to this

"OWWWWwwwww."

"YOU'RE hurting???? You landed a hit on me before i could!! An amateur like you managed that somehow!!! Im beyond insulted."

ether looked mad at her

"WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?? You said this will be fun but its been nothing but scary and hurtful!! Why are you doing this??"

"Because you're a threat! I've never fought a werewolf before and your high Mage friend is nothing i can deal with. I needed to learn if i can quickly deal with you if you ever go on a rampage and obviously I can take you on my own even with one part of you transformed. Its however infuriating!! I've dealt with all sorts of magical beasts but because you have good reflexes I can't treat you as one."

Ether was shocked and upset

"I thought you wanted to be friends like zaroth.... that's why i came with you....but apparently i don't deserve to be treated as a person and only as something a little higher than an average animal." he scoffed

Aimanat frowned and sighed

"Apologies. I didn't mean to offend you i-i really just feared my sibling being in danger. I know its hard dealing with a part of you that no one can accept and you can only ignore. If you want i can actually teach you how to fight; this time I won't aim to hurt you."

"Thank you for the apology and the offer but i really don't want to learn how to fight before i can learn how to control this side of me" he answered quickly while looking at his arm filled with fur

"But i forgive you. I'll be going to my room now; i need to think of something."

"ok. See you another time, ether."

"See you."

Ether walked back to his room- thankfully he didn't get lost since he made sure to know how to go back. He was always good with directions.

Ether sat in the room on his bad and contemplated how to begin working on his abilities

"Maybe i need to know what it affected first? Enfys said he realized how other fabrics affected his skin Through trial and error so maybe i need to see what difference it made for me. Ok so first of all i managed to land a hit on aimanat but it didn't hurt my arm itself so i guess my senses in it got less? Ok ok what else"

Ether started brainstorming. Wondering what he can do to at least get his normal arm back.

And then it clicked

"Wait. Maybe its like a reflex? Maybe i need to relax.....i guess i wasn't able to relax this whole time because of everything being new....hmmm.."

Ether laid down and started thinking about his days farming and playing with his sheep. He smiled and suddenly he felt his arm being lighter

It was back to normal

he smiled and then he cheered

He was so happy to get his arm back and let go of the cape

For once he felt he had control

So he decided he will try making other parts of him transform

But he couldn't

He was back to how he was before all of this happened

And then he remembered that when his arm was transformed he didn't turn into a werewolf at night

And so he panicked

He started hyperventilating trying to get the arm back or transform another part of him so that it keeps him from turning at night

He collapsed on the ground almost begging for it to come back so he doesn't hurt anyone

So he doesn't kill anyone

He had to find enfys

They can help

They always have a solution

So he left his room and went to ask around where he could find her

And right when he was about to enter

Everything turned black

And he heard the excited laughter of someone in the dark

"I can finally have fun again!" Said the mysterious voice

As ether fell to the ground with his vision hazey

He saw the figure of a woman with glowing eyes smiling from the shadows and wished that he wouldn't turn into the monster that hurt everyone he loved

Even if its just this once

"Aw I'm sorry little prince but you have to pay for what you did. For what your family did."

The woman got closer and sat on her knees Infront of ether. she had fetters on her arms and legs with a simple torn dress filled with cuts. Her hair messy and her eyes bloodshot with red tears running down her face creating streams that converged together under her chin. She had big fangs and claws. wounds all over her body with her hands covered in blood and dripping with it but her hands don't seem hurt.

"ETHER!!" Aimanat called as she appeared seemingly out of nowhere as she was heading towards him

"Tsk. Seems I'll have to wait after all."

Aimanat shook ether awake "WAKE UP!! Are you alright?? I'll take you to the medics they should be able to help so hang onto me"

Ether nodded as she got him to lean on her

They walked together to the medics place

And as they were walking ether felt that woman's gaze on him

"Who was she?? What did she want from me?? She looked so hurt..." Ether mumbled below his breath and aimanat assumed he was delirious so she didn't pay any mind to it

She seemed worried over him

So he smiled a little and decided he'll push himself to stay awake so he doesn't hassle her

[destinyc1020]

austin butler starring in a covid period piece for ari aster... now he's playing a burned out baseball player for darren aronofsky... i love what he's doing, i pick up what he's putting down! maybe im a little to online for this but i ain't forget vanessa hudgens comments on covid, or the fact the miss girls husband whose a minor league base ball player has an awful pitch!!

after the last three years of people, vanessa included took part in that harassment/hate campaign he's keeping it cute and classy with his disses!!! and let me tell you he did it in the hottest most successful way possible. he's playing chess frfr!! watch out jacob elordi sweetie your next!

austin butler starring in a covid period piece for ari aster... now he's playing a burned out baseball player for darren aronofsky... i love what he's doing, i pick up what he's putting down!

I agree girl... 😊👏🏾 Austin's career is so exciting to watch. I'm really curious to see what films he will be doing next. Just about every film choice has been a very interesting and bold one. I love it. 😊

but i ain't forget vanessa hudgens comments on covid, or the fact the miss girls husband whose a minor league base ball player has an awful pitch!!

To be fair, I've never seen her husband play lol. 😅 But yea, the covid remarks were cringe and no bueno.... 😬 But she apologized right after, so I can't keep harping on something someone said 4 years ago when they might not have been thinking all that clearly during a global pandemic. I still give her the major side-eye for those comments though. 👀 I just don't hate her for them.

after the last three years of people, vanessa included took part in that harassment/hate campaign he's keeping it cute and classy with his disses!!! and let me tell you he did it in the hottest most successful way possible. he's playing chess frfr!!

PREACH!!! I always say, when haters come at you, you have to simply rise above it.

I thought the hate campaign against him was a bit much, especially for a guy who seems genuinely sweet and down to earth. But hey, that's the life of being in the public eye unfortunately.

While I don't think it's wrong to vent if you've been hurt after a breakup, I do think Vanessa would have done better to just keep it classy and cute and just not been petty at all. She would have come out looking better imo.

Do I think Austin's perfect? NO. Do I think he did something horribly wrong to her? Probably NOT? I doubt he'd have people in his corner who know BOTH of them (mind you) if he had actually done something horrible to Vanessa. The fact that she's trying so hard to paint him in a negative light kind of makes me wonder. If he really were an awful person, she wouldn't have to try so hard, it would just be pretty clear to many people by several signs over the years by now. JMHO.

I also don't think she would have dated him for as long as she did if he had been an awful bf. 🤷🏾‍♀️

Plus, even if I really did genuinely get burned by an ex, I just don't think that if a relationship ends,that I need to be publicly throwing shade at my ex of 9 years. This was someone I once loved. Like, life is too short to be so petty....

watch out jacob elordi sweetie your next!

Idk what this means lol 😅

[mythvoiced]

GET TO KNOW THE MUN

NAME?: Len, Lena, Lenlen, anything with that you can think of~

PRONOUNS?: any~ saw Winter on dash go 'agender hoes rise up' so this is me rising up--

PREFERENCE OF COMMUNICATION?: primarily discord, IMs and I have just... we never hit it off, and with the way the notification thing keeps glitching-- i'll keep the chat open in that circle to not forget to reply, but i'll never know when something new comes in bc the notification disappears if you have the bubble thing there, which means if i do reply it takes me so long to realize i've been replied back-- BUT i mean ofc hit me up on IMs if you don't have my discy i will try to be THERE

MOST ACTIVE MUSE(S)?: Celebrity Verse Hyun oH HECK'S yeah, though i have to admit i don't have a lot of... muse muse per se, i could write just about anyone i guess, but no one's burning with activity/to be written

EXPERIENCE / HOW MANY YEARS?: gosh, my first mumu i opened back in january 2016, before that though i'd been rping already on other blogs... 2015-16? online at the very least, i remember i was rping on paper back in middle school before even knowing what it was lmao

BEST EXPERIENCE?: I HAVE to second Ferre, the group plots we got going on right now are basically single-handedly keeping me FIRED UP to write~ but if i may be lovey dovey, my best experience is just overall right now, or most of 2023, the moots i'm surrounded by, the way i'm gradually letting go more and more of insecurities and anxieties, i'm calming down and just... being blessed by superb writing & ideas~

RP PET PEEVES?: gosh, i don't know~? i do believe if i stumbled upon them, there'd be a few out there in the great big blue, but lately i've been having such a good dash and environment, i kind of forgOT FDKLGHLF i'll add it if i can think of anything at some point

FLUFF, ANGST, OR SMUT?: same as Ferre~ i'm in it for the character development, for the vibes, for the growth, for poking and prodding at psyches and morals and hearts, or just to figure out how people interact, i love just... the very concept of interaction itself~ i do angst >:3333 i do fluff :33 but i mostly do?? i have no idea how to describe it lmao but i don't do smut, i don't know how to and feel weird about it ♥

PLOTS OR MEMES?: I'M A CRIMINAL, I JUST KEEP STEALING FERRE'S ANSWERS BC SAME?? LKDSGJFLHG lately I've realized I do enjoy plotting more >:3 i used to be a pretty wing it kinda guy mostly because plotting translated to serious commitment in my head? and the mere thought of that was scawwy and exhausting, it felt like i was suddenly Planning and Strategizing in a work environment oh god, BUT THAT'S NOT WHAT PLOTTING IS TURNS OUT FDKLLLLLLLGH i had it all wrong~ it doesn't have to feel like business emails, it SHOULDN'T, it can be random ideas thrown back and forth and i absolutely adore that, i've been enjoying a fair amount of plotting lately >:3 and have ONLY BEEN WINNING~ that being said, memes are perfect for lil spin-off/filler episodes of ongoing dynamics, but especially good for ice-breakers (if we never interacted before, hmu~)

LONG OR SHORT REPLIES?: longer, i simply don't shut up~ i can do shorter, but they tend to lengthen naturally with time; i try to match my partner above all else, but there's always something i just... can't keep out of the damn text~ there are certain muses, though, that demand less text, characters like Diana are very curt and cut-off and it reflects in her threads and all that-- SO, before i completely derail, i go for long replies usually, but i can flex my flexing bones and do short too~

TIME TO WRITE?: GOSH, f*ck if i know at this point. it used to be in the evening, now it's just... whenever i have time & energy~ i don't work consistent regular hours, so there's no clearly defined work hours and leisure hours, so sometimes evenings, somethings mornings, sometimes weekdays, sometimes weekends, usually not afternoons, i do try to keep a queue going though so hehehe~ don't worry~

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S)?: maybe...? i don't know anymore-- KLDSJGLKGF realistically speaking, probably? at least some of them, mostly because the saying goes you put a bit of yourself in every character you create, i would also say because i have Too Many Muses so statistically i'm probably in there somewhere~

tagged by: their royal MIGHTINESS @stillresolved tagging: @theimpalpable @crue1 @usuhan @fablewrote @riiese @repetiita @voxvulgi @heirofhermes @sw4nsongs & YOU