#i've been calling you bubba but if you'd like you can come up with a little name/emoji so i'll always know it's you

[blizzardfluffykpop]

Update to the last ask…….

My dad is now acting like nothing happened and my mom Claims it was the alcohol talking but to me, it doesn't matter. what happened the night still hurt me he still said those hurtful words and now I'm not acting like I used to and I only see a stronger. I thought parents were supposed to love you and protect you but it's them the ones that make the biggest damage. Now I don't talk to my dad like I used to I burly look him in the eye and I try to not spend too much time around him so he won't call me a burden again. Now that I look back I kind of raised myself I did everything on my own I never asked for help with homework when I was at school and before I started to work I burly asked him for anything so for him to say all that really hurts. And I feel broken and unloved. I don't know what's like to be loved or to be told that you are important all I get is the end of the stick calling me extra or whatever but sometimes I wish I could disappear and maybe everyone would be happier I only bring stress and annoyance to people.

The advice you gave me really helped thank you so much ❤️

Oh bub... Thank you for the update and pls feel free to update me whenever!

You don't deserve that- you're owed more than a proper apology. And him brushing it off like it didn't happen... And the alcohol excuse is lame. And you're right- it doesn't matter. What they said to you and what transpired was wrong- and cruel. I see why you see him as a stranger. I've seen my dad as one too a lot of my life. That's exactly what parents are supposed to do. They are supposed to love unconditionally, take care of you, and protect you even well after you are 18... It sucks that yours don't want to do so. Their job once they have kids never ends- they're supposed to be there for you- not throw you to the wolves. They're supposed to be someone safe to return to. I'm so sorry you didn't get the parents you deserved. No one deserves to be treated the way you have been.

I want you to know that hwvr you feel like being around your dad is the right choice. You do not have to talk to him or engage or do anything that would make you feel unsafe. I want you to know that you are not burden. He fucking knew what he signed up for when he had you. And now he's not upholding his bargain. You're not a burden. You are anything but that, okay? I promise you that.

Sadly, the only way we can connect dots is when we look back. And I'm sorry these are the dots you have to connect. I was the same way- I raised myself too. And I'm sorry you had to have that experience too. A kid shouldn't have to... And I didn't ask for help on homework and until I got a job- I learned not to ask for anything either. I know it sucks when you hear someone say 'I understand how you feel' but I genuinely do. That part of my life is greatly the same... Anyways- I hope you use your money to buy yourself things that make you happy even if they're small. I hope you know you were never a burden. He was wrong to say that (along with everything else he's said). What he said was uncalled for and hurtful.

All you feel is valid, okay? You have every right to feel that. But I hope you know that there are going to be people who will love every piece of you. And that your parents aren't the end all be all to that safety/happiness/love. They are just a starting point (at least for us)- and you're going to find better and better people I promise you that. You don't know it right now. But you will. I know so- why? Because I thought the same. And now while I am still stuck here. I've found people who love and care for me. A concept I thought was implausible... I promise you'll find genuine people. (it may take a bit too- but just know not everyone can be what you need- you may need 10-20 friends just to fill even the smallest of gaps). But for now, I want you to know that I'm your friend.

And bubba- I know you want to think you are a form of stress and annoyance to people. But you're not. If your dad or mom said that or made you think that. I want you to know that they were completely wrong. Money is a source of stress. Taxes and work are forms of stress. Loving someone and receiving love- isn't supposed to be stressful. You are not supposed to feel like you are an annoyance to people. You aren't. Someday you'll get to move out "disappear" and I promise you that. You just have to work towards that. And it seems like it'll take "forever" but you'll get there.

A little advice for today:

It might be hard but if it's possible- I want you to try to make friends in real life. It'll sound silly until I explain. If you hang out with enough friends and are at work the other times outside of sleeping. Doesn't matter if you come to huffy puffy asking you where you've been all day. It'll keep you out of the house. And it'll keep you safe and it'll help you stay sane. I won't lie it is hard to make and maintain friendships. And only do what will be non-exhaustive for you. It might be hard- but you may have to set into boundaries (which may be difficult to do at first too). But I want you to know these friends and acitivies you do with them- will keep you out of that house. And I want you to know that you never have to tell your friends what it's like at home. Okay? If that doesn't make you feel safe- you can just gloss over what your parents are like/do. Say your dad is like mine and is into cars- that's what you tell them about him. You don't have to go further. You can protect yourself and gloss over things until you feel comfortable, okay?

This "glossing over" bit may sound awful- like you are protecting your abusers. I want you to know that- it's not protecting them. It's keeping you from falling apart when you talk about it. Because these wounds are so fresh. And esp because you're just starting to uncover these wounds... So, until you are ready to talk about it with others- you don't have to. But again- I will reiterate the point that you are my friend, and you can come to me. Okay? I'll be here every step of the way.

Feel free to reach out whenever- even if it's for the smallest thing, okay?

[ohtobeleah]

Can we see the reader opening up a little more to Rooster in ToE please Leah. Obsessed with this series.

I don’t know if anyone will noticed but I’ve been binging Shameless again and it’s sneaking into all my recent fics. Here’s the Masterlist for previous chapters.

Warnings Ahead: Mentions of domestic abuse, sexual assault.

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~

Of course on your day off it would be raining. The weather had been nothing but pristine throughout the working week–but as you laid in bed, completely encapsulated by Bradley Bradshaw– you could hear the gentle sound of raindrops pattering against the window.

After spending half the night learning how to wrap all sorts of presents for your daughter with Rooster, you’d snuck into Jake's bedroom as quietly as you possibly could and fished out a pair of sweatpants for him to borrow. It almost felt like you were a teenager again, sneaking a boy up into your room. Only there was no sex and your daughter slept soundly in her own bed in the corner of the room.

“Holy shit–” Off with the fairies, you hadn’t noticed when Bradley had woken up. But as he stirred you felt his hold on your tighten, pulling you in and closer to his chest. Kissing your forehead gently as he extinguished a deep sigh of content. “You look so beautiful, never seen you like this before.” There had been a definenate boundary shift with Bradley last night, he’d never stayed the night before. Sure you'd wanted to ask a handful of times but something about last night, how he was so invested in helping you wrap presents before neatly placing them under the Christmas tree just made your heart grow a little bigger for Bradley Bradshaw. Plus, he’d managed a seamlessly flawless pick-up when you'd asked him to step in to pick up your daughter from daycare. He hadn’t even hesitated.

“Beautiful huh?” You cooed as you let your fingers trace his jaw. “I don't know about that–”

“The most beautiful woman I've ever had the pleasure of getting to know.” You never thought you could fall in love with an octave change before, but as Bradley stirred–his muscle flexing whenever he shifted in the early morning light cracking through the shades covering the window, you feel a little harder. His voice was deep and gruff and oh so perfectly mesmerising, like his own version of a siren song. “What's that smell?” Rooster sniffed out the smell wafting from underneath the bedroom door. “Maple syrup?”

“It's Saturday morning, Jake does breakfast on Saturday mornings.” It was weird when you first moved in, getting used to having someone cook for you almost religiously as a sign of affection. Acts of service was a love language Jake Seresin spoke fluently. Every Saturday, a slew of eggs, bacon, hash browns, oats and whatever seasonal fruit was available would be on the dining table before you had a chance to protest. “He’s probably down there cooking up a feast–”

“He doesn't know I stayed the night though, does he?” You shook your head no as you beamed up at Bradley, pushing yourself up as you checked to see if Dot had woken up yet.

“Nope, but I'd be surprised if he hasn't spotted the Bronco still in the drive.” Rooster couldn't take his eyes off your ass as you called down to the end of the bed, the grey Naval Academy shirt you wore to bed just barely ghosted your cheeks. His eyebrows frowned for a split second at the appearance of what seemed to be a poorly healed burn—a brand of some sort. The type that you give the cattle to mark them before sale or whenever they go into a boarding yard.

“Hi bubba.” Oddette was just coming to, her sleep drunk face was one of your favourites. Hoisting her up onto your hip, Bradley couldn't help but to drink in the sight of you, he was in love–no doubt about it. “I bet uncle Jakey has some oats ready for you huh?” The little girl, the spitting version of you with her curly locks and her big eyes caught the sight of Bradley as he sucked her thumb into her mouth. “Can you say morning to Rooster baby girl?”

Bradley took that as his sign to get up and out of bed, throwing the covers off as he let his legs hang off the edge of the bed as he stretched his arms out for your daughter. Without a single second of hesitation, you handed her over, falling in love with the way Dot mimicked the way Braldey reached out for her, reaching out for him to take her into his arms. Strong and muscular.

“Good morning miss Dot, you are just as beautiful as your mother in the morning huh?” As you watched Bradley bond with your daughter, you couldn't help but to think he liked you out of focus. Not understanding just how complicated a relationship with you would honestly be, how much baggage came along with you. He’d argue until his dying breath he liked you in the moment and with everything that came with you, a package deal. “The mark on your ass? That something I should be concerned about?”

“Oh—“ Not really sure how to answer that you just paused for a moment. “It’s nothing, well—it’s something but nothing to be concerned about anymore.” Lies. You constantly worried about him, if he’d show up in the middle of the night to get his revenge on you for leaving or if he’d one day decided he wanted custody of Odette. It was a constant state of existential crisis that you lived in–allowing Bradley Bradshaw into your life just made it all the more bearable even if you'd consider it to be a selfish act. He deserved a non battered woman. Period.

“If I didn’t know any better I’d say that’s a cattle brand?” Bradley wasn’t trying to pry but as he held your daughter on his hip he tilted your chin up a little more to meet his gaze. “You don’t have to tell me, but whatever you’ve been through you’re safe here—you know that right?” He was being genuine, there was no push to tell but the door had been left wide open for you if you wanted to.

“I know, but the more I tell you the bigger the chance is you’ll hightail it in the opposite direction and I just know that I wouldn’t be able to handle that.” The way you said it made you sound so vulnerable, always the first to deny anything was really there between you and Bradley. Always the one who pushed away first, slowed down the pace if things were moving too quickly. Rooster was more than happy to take the passenger's seat while you held onto the steering wheel so tight your knuckles turned white at the pressure, but the way you said you wouldn't be able to handle it if he decided he couldn't hack it made his heart shatter in his chest.

Bradley had always been an action speak louder than words kinda guy, deciding that diving into the deep end to kiss you was the best response to the fact you were adamant you weren't good enough for him. Your daughter was quick to giggle as she felt squashed between the pair of you, Bradley was expertly balancing her against his hip with one arm as he held the back of your head with the other. Lips melding with yours as the sound of rain pouring outside filled the silence.

“There’s nothing on this planet that could make me turn my back on you.” Fuck he was being genuine as all hell wasn’t he? Once again, you felt like you could open up just the slightest bit–Braldey had dumped you out of your box, sifting through all your puzzle pieces trying to get a look at the bigger picture. Who were you really and what led you to him?

“My ex—I was, we were uh.” It was still hard to say it, you hated saying it–it had never been sex or love with Jaidyn. It was always something more sinister. Bradley got the gist of what you were trying to explain, he nodded in agreement just so you could keep going. Only if you wanted to. “I tried to run that morning, but he’d caught me, dragged me back in and had been laying into me for the better half of the day.” The tears were noticeable, but you kept going. “Decided that he needed to remind me just who I belonged to I guess.” Wiping away the tears that fell down your cheeks you sighed and braved a smile. “He had a very twisted view on the blurred boundary of pleasure and pain, when I gave him what he wanted he branded me at the same time.”

“You aren’t anyone’s property Y/n, no his, not anyone’s.” Rage. That's all that you could see written across Rooster’s face. From the way he clenched his jaw to the way his hand had wandered down to hover over your ass, fingertips softly dancing across the raised skin that had healed poorly without any real medical intervention.

“I found out I was pregnant three weeks later–a rose amongst a sea of thorns.” A knock against your bedroom door interrupted the moment of vulnerability you were having, Bradley was sure he saw in real time your shutters go down as you shook yourself back into reality.

“Are you joining me for breakfast?” Jake shouted from the otherside. “Or is it just gonna be me?”

“Coming!” You replied as your eyes never left Roosters. “Please don't tell anyone, Jake doesn't even know how bad it got sometimes, he knows most of it–but I didn't have the heart to tell him the father of my daughter banded me when he made me orgasm.” Even if it was one of the hardest things he'd ever had to listen to, Rooster nodded in solidarity, leaning in to kiss your cheek as he readjusted your daughter on his other hip.

“Anything you ever tell me in full confidence, I won't ever repeat to anyone gorgeous.”

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~

Much to your own surprise, Jake hadnt noticed the Bronco still sitting in the driveway. He’d been too busy cooking up a feast–way more food then needed for two and a half people. Dot would eat maybe a few spoonfuls of oats, some squished blueberries and a small cup of juice. Why on god's green earth Jake insisted on massive Saturday breakfast you'd never understand, but you enjoyed the food always.

“Morning sleepy head!” Jake beamed as he crouched to scoop up your daughter who'd come pattering his way with a cheeky smile and a loud chuckle. “Did your mamma sleep in? Did she? I think she did and–” As Jake looked up he saw Rooster standing shirtless behind you with a grin plastered on his face. His hand lingered on your hip as he drew you closer to his side. “Hang on a damn minute are those my sweat pants?”

“Thought you'd be able to tell by the way my ankles are hanging out the bottom?” Rooster teased as he sauntered over into the kitchen. “You need help shorty or have you got this covered?”

“Nope, uh uh, i'm not gonna be baratted in my own home!” Jake placed Dot gently onto the tiles and she was off running–her dollhouse had been calling her name. “You stayed the night?”

“Sure did.” Rooster said it in a way that had you fighting off a smile. He was sweet you'd give him that. “I’m making coffee, you want one?” he asked before you sent him a soft nod.”

“Please, two sugars.” Jake was still staring at you, like you owed him an explanation as to your overnight visitor. “It was late by the time we finished wrapping all the presents alright, get off my dick.”

“Did you guys wrap all those gifts?”

“Sure did, even wrapped a couple with a nice little bow for you Hangman–” Bradley had his back turned to you and Jake as he made his coffee alongside yours. Jake just looked at the back of his wingman's head for far too long before turning back to you as you shrugged your shoulders, pretending you had no idea what Rooster was talking about. “And I'm kinda hurt, you've clearly been holding out on the team man, no invite to Saturday breakfast feast before?”

“I dont cook for strays–” Jake teased as he went back to flipping his pancakes. The bacon was almost done, sizzling away in the pan on the stovetop as you picked fresh strawberries from the bowl of cut up fruit.

“That's exactly what you've been doing though?” You mumbled through a mouthful of food before chucking to yourself. Bradley was once again at your side as he handed you the mug of coffee, tailored just the way you liked it. “Can you wrangle Dot? Gotta get her in her highchair for breakfast.”

“Yes ma'am.” Without a second of hesitation Bradley was off, darting around the corner into the living room. Out of sight out of mind for a mere ten seconds before he was racing back around the corner with your daughter throwing over his shoulder in a fit of laughter. “One Odette Dolan ready and reporting for duty Fe.”

“Wooster!--” Odette couldn't have contained her joy if she tried, her hair was flopping around as Braldey swung her around. “Wooster!!”

“Jesus Chris I’m gonna be sick.” Jake sighed as he stacked the final pancake onto the plate. “Rooster, man—you’re killing me.”

“What? She's gonna be a pilot isn't she? May as well start getting used to G-forces now.” her cheeks had caught a little air as Bradley continued spinning her around in a fit of giggles. Two peas in a pod the pair of them were. It just melted your heart.

“Faster Wooster faster!” Dot was riding a high of energy, her enthusiasm this early in the morning only matching bradleys as he handed you his coffee mug and decided taking off around the house with her on his shoulders was the most appropriate thing to do.

“Lieutenant Dot Dolan requesting permission from green range to enter point alpha” It was hard not to laugh as Dot held on for what looked like dear life, her legs strung over Braldeys shoulders as she held onto his hair. His hands on her knees securing her. “Permission granted, let's turn and burn baby!”

“Turn and Burn!” Dot repeated as Bradley raced around the kitchen, dodging both you and Jake and just looked at the pair of them like they were crazy.

“I’m losing my place at her favourite aren’t I?” This is what Saturday mornings should have been like for your daughter always, surrounded by those who loved her unconditionally. Who wanted to protect her always and fill her mind with core memories she’d remember forever. It hadn’t been though. “If I lose my spot to Rooster I’ll be pissed Fe—“ Jake took a bite of the bit of bacon he snatched off the plate. You were too busy making up Dots breakfast to even send him an eye roll.

“You’re the one who meddled, don’t forget that.”

“I didn’t think it would lead to Bradshaw sleepovers so soon! I haven’t prepared for this!” All you did was sigh, chuckling softly before you noticed the caller ID lightning up Jake's phone on the countertop. You couldn’t contain the groan that escaped. “Jake, what the fuck is Frank calling you for?”

“Huh?” Jake’s eyes landed on his phone and that’s when he sighed in annoyance as well. “Shit—“ He didn’t hesitate to pick it up though, just as Rooster and Dot were coming in for landing. “What do you want, Frank?”

“Who’s Frank?” It was a question you normally wouldn’t have answered, but as Bradley placed Dot into her high chair you turned your attention his way briefly as Jake placed his phone on speaker.

“My dad—“

“Have you seen my daughter around recently?” You hadn’t heard your fathers voice in just shy of a year. He only ever called when he needed money, an addict through and through. He’d never been around and when he was it was always chaotic.

“No Frank I haven’t, fuck off Frank.” You sent Jake a look as if to say watch his cuss words around Dot, covering her ears as you gritted your teeth. “Sorry—“ He mouthed with a soft grin. “Y/n doesn’t come around anymore, haven’t seen her since—“

“Jacob, if you're lying to me I’ll be thoroughly upset.” You had changed your number when you’d run to Jake for safety, uprooting your life and leaving with only a few personal items you could fit in a bag. Dots birth certificate, important documents. “It’s Christmas time! I’m trying to rally the family together for a good old Y/l/n shindig.” If you had rolled your eyes any harder, they would have popped out of your head.

“Is Jacob his real name?” Bradley felt like he’d just unlocked Pandora’s box when you nodded quietly in response, fist bumping the air as he bit his bottom lip in excitement. “Holy shit so many endless possibilities—“

“I highly doubt any of your children want anything to do with you, Frank.” It was as if Jake had been through this a million times before, Rooster couldn’t help but to wonder how many times your father had called him looking for you over the years. “But I haven’t seen Y/n in a few years now—so you’re shit outta luck and outta cash.”

“He doesn’t call you?” Squishing blueberries between your fingertips before you aeroplaned them into Dot's mouth was probably one of the most domestic things Bradley had ever seen you do.

“Doesn’t have my new number, kinda wanna keep it that way.” The pair of you were being careful to keep your voices low while Jake entertained your estranged father. “He’s a junkie, only ever calls when he needs something—“

“Well if she’s not with you where the hell is she? Jaidyn said she took off in the middle of the night a few months ago! And if she’s not with you what if she’s dead in a ditch somewhere?” You couldn’t hold back the scoff that escaped. Frank had never cared before, this time was no different. He wasn’t concerned about your wellbeing, just about his atm.

“Honestly that ditch would probably be a safer place for her to be then with that dickhead.” Jake seethed as he started becoming increasingly more irritated, running his hand down his face as Bradley leaned over the counter to snatch a piece of bacon. “Bye Frank—I can’t help you, don’t call me.”

“Jacob wa—!” He’d hung up before your father could get another word in.

“Hey so your dad’s looking for you” Jake teased as if you hadn’t been sitting there the entire time. “Should call him, thinks you’re dead.”

“Thanks shit for brains I’ll log that away on my not to do list shall I?” Dot coughing on a mouthful of her oats had you turning all your attention back to her. “Oh, careful sweetheart, can’t have you choking huh.”

“Franks a piece of work Bradshaw, don’t ever let that piece of shit near these two if he ever comes sniffing around.” For a moment there the lovable brother act Jake had been fronting for the last few weeks had faded and something a little more serious had tested its ugly head. The protective best friend had come to the party—Bradley hadn’t seen this look in Hakes eyes since the night he’d first met you. “He’s a deadbeat.”

“Noted.”

“More mumma, pwease?” Odette cooed as she tried to take the spoon from your hand, you let her with careful guidance. Watching her like a Hawk as she took a spoonful to her mouth.

“I remember this one time we were living out of car, uncle Nick had kicked us out and we couldn’t find anyone else to take us in.” Your eyes never left your daughter as Jake and Bradley both listened intently. Both leaning on the island bench as they picked bits and pieces. “My older brother’s were sleeping at friends' places but me and my younger sisters, the twins—got stuck trying to sleep in the backseat when Frank pulled over in the middle of the night.” Looking up you saw the faces of two of the most influential men in your life staring back at you like you were some damsel in distress. You were, but still, it didn’t leave a good taste behind in your mouth when all you’d ever know was the opposite of love.

“He told me to take the girls and sit on the curb and he’d be right back—I think I was seven at the time, few hours later and we’re still sitting on the sidewalk, Lila’s head was burning up and she’s hysterical.” Bradley felt like he couldn’t breathe listening to you open up about your childhood. He wanted to call your father back right now just to tell him off. “I didn’t know what to do—so I ran down the street, Lila under one arm and Georgia under the other trying to flag down help.” It honestly felt like a lifetime ago but at the same time you could still smell the snow in the air and hear Lila’s painful screams. “It would’ve been easier scorning crack then a ride to the clinic—but I finally made it on foot, they said Lila had a fever of one hundred and four and that if I hadn’t brought her in, who would’ve known what had happened in a few more hours.”

“Y/n—“ Bradley reached out to grip your hand, you held his back a little tighter, pressing your lips together to stop your bottom lip from quivering.

“I didn’t find Frank till a few days later, first thing he asked me? How much money I had on me.” You looked at Bradley as he took in everything you had just told him. “I wish I could say that was the only time too but it was only the beginning—“

“I think deadbeats an understatement Jacob.” You couldn’t help but to smile, Jake just groaned as he stood up, slapping Bradley across the back of the head. “Not gonna let anyone hurt you ever again you hear me?” Soft lips were pressing against your forehead before Rooster was turning around to point a stirn finger at Jake who’d backed off slightly. “Hit me again, see what happens pal.”

“You’re wearing my pants in my house! I’ll hit you all I goddamn want.”

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Tags: @a-serene-place-to-be @lilyevanswhore @thescarletknight2014 @blindedbythelightt t @averyhotchner @emma8895eb @blairfox94

[royalwritersoftheuniverses]

The Mistake

18+ as there is talk of miscarriage READ THE WARNINGS. YOU are responsible for the content you read. Do not repost or republish or translate . Reblogs and comments are welcome

Warnings: MISCARRIAGE . A lot of talking about it. MISCARRIAGE and cheating. A lot of angst. I cried writing it. Sme fluff youll miss it if you blink It may be triggering to some people. Do not read if miscarriage is triggering

This is an Alternate Universe where you are married to your favorite Chris actor( there’s tons out there ) I chose the most popular one lately and he's a well... but hey it's an AU. Alternative universe not real don’t come for me

"Everything ok babe?"

"Hmm"

"Yea how was your uh business meeting"

"Good."

"You working on a peice?"

He kisses my shoulder?

"Yea fall decor "

"Alright dont let me interrupt."

"He kissed my shoulder again"

"Hey babe where'd you'd go?"

"Oh the uhm that place with the palm trees. By docks"

"That place by the country club called Docks?"

Yep that one why

Just wondering. Been stuck inside all day.

I expected him to ask me to go for a walk. I scoffed. Course not. Not like he loved me cause we're married. I save my draft and and grab practically all the paper towels and walk outside past the patio and I down on a chair to cry.... why here? There is no place by the country club called Docks.

"Chris is not cheating on you he loves you I'm sure it was an innocent mistake about the restaurant and the woman that stopped by the house was probably a crazy fan. " one if his friends,texted you in response to you asking: Tell me the truth is Chris cheating on me? A woman stopped by claimed he was. She wasn't vain or anger. She felt bad.

His friend then texted him

"Your wife thinks you're cheating on her. Spend some time with her. We all know you'd never do that but someone stopped at the house she said. Scared her - I know you love her we all do. But can u blame her for being scared. And get a fucking iRing!"

"Shit' he said under breath. But you heard him

"Babe?"

"Sweetheart, you do know I love you more than anything right?

"More than Dodger ?

"I said anything not anyone" he smiled

You started to sob so much. You knew it was a lost cause.

His eyes went wide.

"Hey, hey-hey-hey It was a joke a stupid silly joke. I I. An asshole. Its not even thst fun in fact not funny at all." He said as he patted your hair and smoothing it

"You know how much I love you."

" I dont know anymore."

"Do I have to show you." He smirked.

"No I'm just going to go in the living room and watch tv" you said defeated. His smirk quickly went away.

"Baby watch it here. We can cuddle I've been missing you all day. I love you I wanna spend time with you-"

You silently scoffs but Chris didn't miss your shoulders drop.

"You need sleep. I dont want to keep you up. " I'll come back later." You gave him a kiss on the cheek.

Chris was confused why it wasn't on his lips you never kissed him on the cheek ever. He knew he hurt you.

"I love you"

and you reaction was less than happy .

"Me too" Gone was your blush and slight giggle. Gone was your bright smile. All that was left was dark circles and a far off look.

"Is she sick? Maybe? No that has to be it. She's getting sick." he thought lt- in denail about everything except that he was leaving to film a movie.

The next morning Chris woke up to en empty bed. A cold empty bed. Dodger was gone too.

He went downstairs and you were sleeping with tissues scattered around you. Dodger was lying with you. He bent down to scratch Dodgers head. Dodger seemed to even be angry with him. He told himself Dodger was up all might watching out for you he needed sleep too.

"Hey Bubba taking care of mama hu? What a good dog you are. Yea Gotta watch her for me ok? I'm worried she's sick. Ok so no making her run after you."

Chris cleaned up the tissues. Let Dodger out to do his business and let him back in. Made sure his bowls were full. As for you he brought out some water and cold medicine putting it on the coffee table for you, alone with cookies and snack telling himself you were just under the weather. He took the blanket hanging over the back of the couch and carefully covered you

"And screw it" he thought "I dont care if I get sick I'm taking care of my girl."

He leaned down to give you a soft but deep loving, as far as he was concerned, kiss on the lips you scowled and moved the opposite to have you back facing him. You've done that before when you want to sleep and he's riled up or when you knows he needs to sleep. But never because of an argument you two never argued. He was proud of that you two loved eachother. He had no qualms admitting you were more than he could ever ask for even though he...but he pushed that thought out of his mind. Still... but something felt odd. Off. Diffrent.

Weeks had passed and things went back to normal. To your dismay your family told you this was the best you were going to do no one would take care of you like him even if he had done something cheated one or twice or 100 times. He still would be the best choice you'd have. Which they didnt believe he'd cheat or at least said they didn't believe. But when he got home he'd be so racked with guilt.

You were lying in bed. Bed rest common that's what you were told. Nothing strenuous to relax. Wouldn't call anyone you had no idea who'd be in the picture there alone home alone.

"Baby" he called

You weren't there to greet him neither was dodger although. Maybe you two were out.

He walked in and saw you pale and despondent . And he didn't understand why his heart broke so much. He loved you but it practically shattered- he felt more than he ever thought was possible. So many feeling at once and none of them happy ones.

Seeing his face you said one simple line.

"Bed rest doctors orders."

He froze for a moment "What happened you sick?" You hadn't told him then again he just realized you hadn't spoke in a while. It used to be FaceTime all the time but he had stopped that. He felt bad. But he was about to feel So. Much. Worse.

"No, common to be on bed rest after a miscarriage."

Chris froze. "A mis- ' his mind couldn't work it couldnt finish the sentence. He froze. He wasn't even sure if he was breathing. it

"You-"

He ran to your bed side once his legs worked again

"Oh god baby why didn't you"

'I was going to tell you when you got back. Surprise you. Told you it was hormones. The moodiness and then-"

"You you should've called why did you. Call I-" he said not finishing the sentance out loud but in his head "I would have been with you instead of her," he thought.

"Did you call anyone?"

A small almost silent "No" came out. " I didnt want to bother anyone.I lost them its ll my fault Chris."

Them? Twins it had to be twins he was going to be father to twins. He thought. He second of happiness left as soon as it came.

"Sweetheart it wasn't your fault it couldn't possibly be your fault."

"Yea it was. You know that detergent on the top shelf that I wanted moved down?"

"Yea"

'I need to wash stuff and I had to get it you-undwrsgand right? I needed to but -" you rolled your eyes at your self

"and I got dizzy and I stumbled off. I kinds fell off but I didn't fall on the fall and my belly went into the thing the handle off whatever I did I felt ok but I had gotten so tired I took a nap and I -after my nap I there was so much blood. And it was dried i slept I slept through it I dont know how I- I knew I knew I got there before I got there I lost our babies it was my family my fault." Your tears broke Chris even more. It was his fault.

Chris shook his head " no. "

You had begged him to move it down saying it was too hard for you to reach and he would roll his eyes saying use a step stool or wait for him. He always had wanted you to wait for him. He did. He hated bending down to get it. He thought you were over reacting. How hard it was for you to reach but And this way you'd two would have some funny cute banter it was always funny and cute never... He never thought.

"Who knows?" Hoping that you hadn't been lying here for who knows how long hopefully someone just left before he came in. He prayed to himself that you weren't lying here blaming yourself alone.

"No one. I was too scared too ashamed." Tears that filled her eyes rolled down her face

"Oh sweetheart" he enrolled her in a hug having her face kisses all over.

" There is no possible way it could have been your fault pregnant women bump into things all the time. My sisters did and thier babies were perfectly fine."

"So it's me? Its just me?"

He wanted to say no but before he could

"All because I wanted to wash some clothes. I should've just waited for you to come home."

"Home" he thought. "I should've been home instead of with her" he'd never make that mistake again. He swore on his life.

He noticed your hair was greasy and knotty. It must have happened right after he left. You always took care of you hair making sure to use the nicest things you could could afford and this Chris bought you the best and now it was....You were....

"How about a bath hmm? You'll feel better?"

You decline with a small shake of the head.

" I'll wash your hair? You love when I do that." He smiled remembering all your giggle and instructions it took a bit time get the hang of it but once he did he was proud of himself. Yiu aways had the ability to do that make him feel good, proud of himself with even the tiniest of things.

" Come on whens the last time we took a bath together? "

You shrugged.

He did too...mentally... in fact he realized he'd been ignoring you and you both knew it. And maybe thats why you were ao...why did not call him.

"Please love come one we love doing that. First time I got you naked rember swearing the bubbles would cover you." You let out a small chuckle. It was tr us. It wasn't about sex or him wa ting to see you naked. Well he did. But it wasn't about sex. I itically he well, he is a man but once he got you in there for the first time he loved being close to you and you trusting him. The conversation you two had were deep. He used to look forward to those baths. Just to hold you to know you truested him implicitly. It meant so much to him. And right now? It started to mean even more.

He walked into the bathroom to get the bathreadt rolling up his sleeves d t he n he saw it. A dark crimson red. He lifted the sheet it was almost everywhere. He silently gasped. He almost fell over You lost so much blood he closed his eyes for a moment you had lost so much blood. Too much. Almost too much. No wonder you were so pale.

He put spoon of Epsom salt in the bath. You needed to relax and frankly so did he. He was so terrified seeing you like this. He wished he could take back so much time. He loves you he never stopped the love didn't change. He told himself that as he stared at himself in the mirror as the salt devolved. And rhat was all true. He thought a mistress would be fun to try things on. He told himself he'd try them before bringing the ideas to you but that was a bold faced lie. It wasn't even bold it was a farce. Though was he didn't know why he cheated when he loved you more than life. He never cared about her not even a little. Was she pretty maybe but eh that was what he thought of her eh. And that was the truth so was the fact that he was an asshole and he knew it.

And went to get you. You were unsteady but tried your best to hide it. Be he held on to you so tight. So very tight.

"Baby how much blood did you lose?"

"I don't know"

Kylie saw the sheets thats thats too much but going to be ok.

"I promise you you'll see itll be fine," You best friend Kylie said to you. You trusted her. Not only was she one of your best friend but your OBGYN you never told Chris that. I mean its weird as it is. She was with you as much as possible then her family had an emergency of its own and you promised you'd be ok let others know.

The seconds walk to the en suite took almost 5 minutes. And every step terrified Chris. Every step he gripped and held you tighter and tighter

"They said I almost waited too long," You said out of the blue.

"Can we throw them out the sheets?

"Of course baby"

You had wobbled and he thanked God he was holding on to you and you were in the bathroom so he could lean you on the sink. To let you breathe before he had you sit on the toilet lid. Once he did he helped get you out of clothes. He let you have a moment to breathe and took those second to send a text a long overdue to end never shoulda started

-

"It's over. I love my wife this was wrong I should've been home. "

"What?"

"It's over. Never again."

Chris blocked her number and was thankful he hadn't sent pictures with his face in them. And he deleated all of them. People accused him of dating all the time. He knew you never believed them. Hopefully you never would the one time it was true.

He held your hands as he waited for you to step in.

"Wait. Hold on."

You stopped and he came closer wrapping his arm around your waist while holding your opposite hand so he as you stepped in he had the best grip.

"Hold on to me baby." You almost slid but he had you.

"I got you. I got you." he kissed your forehead.

He-he stripped faster then he had ever done before in his life. Then quickly got behind you sighing in contempt. He was home with his girl, his wife. He was holding her and everything would be ok from now on.

He doesn't know why but he was more relaxed happier, despite the circumstances.

His wife could've died, his babies he'll never know if he could've saved them all because he was spending his time off playing hide the zucchini just for a rush. For not even fun last time. she wasn't as good as you but he tried to rationalize with himself he come to the decision he didn't even know why he did it but he knew he couldn't lose you. Then he realized he probably could have saved them...but he'd never know. You two often took naps together or he'd just hold you as he did work or read scripts and he would have noticed the blood. He could have held you through everything.

He hated himself. Hated himself for causing you all his pain. He had off he made sure he was off to to he couldn't even think it anymore.

"Will you ever forgive me?" He wispered in your ear

"For what?" You faked innocence knowing full well what you did what you were trying to do

"For... Not being here for you you and our babies"

"Please dont Chris don't talk about them" your cried "they're gone for good an I- all my fault. You were working for uh" not even saying the word us, "you were working. It's not like you were having an affair. "

He swollowed and hmmd

"Still your my wife I should have been here. We have more than enough money. I'll take off."

"What about the movie?"

"Screw it i dont care thats what insurance is for I'm staying here with you. I'll take care of you."

"Can we go somewhere the two of us all alone ?I just want you. I miss you so much."

He missed you too but he just kissed your temple and let his lips linger.

"Of course baby"

"Don't-dont use use that word Chris" you you biting back a sob he knew you were but you were shaking. Then he realized everytime you slipped or wobbled he used the word baby.

"I'm sorry" kissed your head and gave you a small squeeze.

"I'll just be us Sweetheart only us until you're feeling better. I love you."

"I love you too."

"Sleep you need some rest."

"In here?"

"Yea ill wash you hair and you'll wake up clean and rested. I'll take care of you I swear."

"Like in the marriage vows?"

Chris didn't think it was possible but his heart sunk even lower peices became more peices. He was turning into a broken man but he needed to be there for you. He might be broken but you were a shell. A shell of who were- he could have prevented and stopped the life that- he closed his eyes the three lives. There was nothing he could do now about the twins but Damn it to hell if he was going to lose you too. You were saved he wasn't going to let that be in vain.

"Stay?"

You pulled him back, out of his head.

"I told you" he said with small chuckle "im not going anywhere without you. And id rather you be here. Right here. In my arms. I can't lose you. I wont."

You both stayed in the bath until the water was cold and your hair was knot free and clean; as beautiful as a siren.. Chris was proud of himself for doing that. You had fallen asleep along the way. Hes not sure when. You had been so quiet. He was telling you random stories to make you laugh it didn't really work but he got some soft chuckles more like a soft scoff mat Ed a soft begrudged laugh

He didnt want to let go but he knew he had to. Chris drained the tub pulling the plug with his feet. Holding you tight as it drained so you'd be slowly lowered.

He got out slowly wrapping a towel around himself and then drying you as you slept in the bath.. you looked so sweet and innocent like a rennasance painting. He wanted to take a picture but you would have killed him if it ever got out regardless if his account was broken into or not. Screw it he thought and he did take a picture. You really did look like a painting. Even you leg was bent over so you privates weren't showing your chest was another story but he could look at you like this forever. You really did look like a beautiful renaissance painting. How could he ever….. he’d never step out on you again. He swore his life on. It. Sure he did a lot of that today but every one of them were true. Everyone of them he couldn’t even think about breaking.

Then you shivered a little. Reminding him he had a towel but not you- you had to be cold.

He had to wake you.

"Sweetheart common its time to go to bed"

He caressed your cheek until you woke up and he helped you out and wrapped you up in your favorite fluffy robe. It garnered a while from you and his heart soard what was left of it anyway. You two were lying in bed. Your head and arms in his cheat and his arm wrapped around his shoulder.

He thought you were sleeping when he called his lawyer.

"I need to get out of this movie."

"Chris you know-"

"My wife almost died. And she was alone I can't leave her."

"Mr. Evans while I -"

"She lost our twins she almost died. I cant leave her I'm not going to move her she's too fragile right now. I need to be with her. We barely shot a thing they can replace me. Lie if you have to. And if this gets out. I'll sue you. We told no one about the twins. She can't even hear the B word she blames herself. I'd rather never be hired again than lose her. "

His lawyer merely said his wife almost died

His lawyer had called the Russo that night.

Joe and Anthony had rhen called him to make sure he was ok and find out if they could do anything. He said its too soon to discuss it to heartbreaking only that he needs to be here with you. They understood. They have families of thier own. If they were in his position they'd do the same. They never told Chris but they had a feeling he meant a miscarriage had occurred and she was by herself. Neither could imagine it.

There were some rumors that Chris dropped because his wife almost died. His mistress never breathed a word. Understanding why and hoping maybe in time he'd come back to her guilt is strong but love is stronger. Except Chris was using her for fun. Not for love and be loved. Hed never leave anyone for her...especially not leave you. he loved more than anything anymore he knew you loved him but right nowhe didn't care you could hate him for not moving the laundry detergent down for being gone so much. As long as you were back to who you were. Smiling and happyjoyful not this. Not...he was afraid you didn'tlove yourself. But he wouldn'tleave you. He'd never.

Chris held you so close that night. the night after that week that whole month six months he was glues to your side. First it was a mix of guilt and love but now it was just pure love adoration and devotion. He couldn't imagine how he could have ever wanted someone else to play with for even a short time. You were all he'd needed. He was an idiot. Because you were all he wanted his party days should have been over long time ago one last foray and he nearly lost it all. He was happy and you were happy. But Chris still hated himself swearing that he'd never do what he did again because he had off he could have been there but now he always will be. You knew he'd come back. You know Chris better than himself.

Taglist

@nana1000night @sapphire-rogers @sparklybarbarianninja @hawkeyes-queen @patzammit @mcuamerica

[ozwriterchick]

Our Little Family..

Characters: James :"Bucky" Barnes; Original Female Character/Reader; Natasha Romanoff; Steve Rogers; Sam Wilson; Clint Barton; Bella Barnes

Content warnings: No real warnings, just a bit of a angst and a bit of fluff, overall just cuteness

A/N: Originally published on WP and AO3, I've decided to upload some of my more popular stories from these platforms here, so keep an eye out.

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

Masterlist

Yn's pov

I peered my head out the door of our suite at the Avengers compound. Thankfully I saw just the person I was wanting to talk to.

Me: Pssst, Nat, come here, quick.

I closed and locked the suite door behind us.

Nat: Ooo, this is all secretive, I'm loving it. What's going on?

Me: Well, Bella is 3 now and I'm kind of getting a bit clucky and I want another baby but I don't know how to bring it up with Bucky. We've talked about having one but I'm pretty sure he wanted to wait until Bella was like at school or something.

Nat: You know, you could just say it. He's not going to divorce you because you want another baby.

Me: I know, I just don't want him to feel like he has to say yes just because I want it, you know?

Nat: I do, but when has Bucky ever done anything because someone else wanted him to?

Me: (laughing) you're so right there.

Midday the same day and Bucky, Steve, Sam and Clint were all sitting around discussing the party tonight and making bets on who will get the drunkest, who will make a fool of themselves the most, who will leave the earliest, that kind of thing.

Steve: I reckon Yn will leave first, he said laughing

Clint: Well that's almost a no-brainer because she'll have to put Bella down and she probably won't come back - that's what usually happens, right Buck?

Bucky: No, actually, tonight Bella is going to stay with her grandparents so we can have a normal party night for once

Clint: Well planned. Maybe you'll get lucky tonight too?

Bucky: Well, I am lucky every day that I have the 2 most beautiful girls in the world that I get to call mine"

The others all groaned.

Steve: You know she can't hear you right now?

Bucky: I know, but it's the truth and I'm not afraid to say it, doesn't matter who is , or isn't, listening.

You: entering the lounge area with your & Bucky's 3 year old daughter Isabella. "What aren't you afraid to say, my love?"

Bucky: That you and Bella are the loves and lights of my life and I am the luckiest man in the world.

You: Flattery will get you everywhere Buckster.

Bella: Daddy, tan I sit with you?

Bucky: Of course you can Bubba

Bella all but jumps out of your arms, straight into Bucky's lap.

You lean down and kiss Bucky and let him know that you're heading to the shops to get some last minute things you need for tonight.

Bucky: Alright, drive safe and text me if you need me. Bella, say bye to Mama.

Bella: Bye Mama, Daddy and I are going to watch a movie while you're gone

Bucky: Oh are we now, my princess?

As you leave you hear Bucky say to the guys: Yep, the luckiest and I would do anything either of them want.

You leave and head to get a few makeup items you are wanting and another thing you were hoping you'd need soon.

Mid-afternoon you got back from the shops and Bella was asleep on Bucky's chest.

You: Oh Buck, you should have put her down for her nap. You know she sleeps longer when she sleeps on you and I'm worried she won't sleep tonight for my Mum & Dad.

Bucky: Babe, don't worry about it, she's only been asleep for about an hour, that's almost her normal nap length anyway, I'll bring her up now and she'll wake up on the way.

He carries Bella up to your suite, and you follow him along, hoping she will wake up so that she isn't grumpy for her grandparents tonight. You're hoping to talk to Bucky about having another baby tonight, either at the party or afterwards.

Luckily Bella wakes up just as Bucky is laying her down on the couch. She rubs her eyes sleepily and says "Thirsy Mama"

You: Ok baby, do you want some milk or juice?

Bella: Doose pease Mama

You poured her some juice in a sippy cup, put her on the floor with some toys and sat on the couch watching to make sure she didn't lay down and go back to sleep.

Bucky: Did you get everything you needed at the shops Babe?

You: Uhh, yeah I did

Bucky: Do you want me to unpack the bag for you

You didn't want him to see the pregnancy tests you bought so you told him that you'd do it later and to come sit down with you.

He sat next to you on the couch and you snuggled into his side.

You: Hmmm, I could do this all day

Bucky: Hey, don't let Steve hear you, that's his catch phrase.

You both laughed and he put his arm around you, rubbing his hand up and down your side.

Bucky: So, party tonight. Looking forward to a kid-free night?

You: Yes and No, it's always good to get a night just to ourselves, but I miss her so much when she's not here.

Bucky: I know, I have a hard time sleeping not hearing her little snuffles and snorts in the room next door.

You: Aww, Bucky you are such a softy now that you're a Dad.

Bucky: I know, I'm a goner. Anything you or Bella want or need, I'll do everything in my power to give it to you.

You: But Buck, I don't want you to think you have to always say yes to whatever she or I want.

Bucky: Yn, I never thought I'd have this, you know, a real family. A gorgeous wife and an amazing kiddo. So if I can give you what you want or need, then I'm going to do it to the best of my ability.

You: I love you so much babe

He pulls you onto his lap and kisses you softly: I love you too sweetness. Both of you.

He wraps his arms around you and he deepens the kiss, sliding his tongue into your mouth and a soft moan escapes your lips. Bella looks up and gets a strange look on her face. Next thing you know, she's climbed onto the couch next to you and is pushing you apart.

Bella: No Daddy, no hurt Mama.

You: Oh baby, Daddy didn't hurt Mama. It's ok. (Turning to Bucky) We might have to start closing the door to her room when we're umm.. you know.

Bucky: (laughing) yeah, I think you might be right.

You spend the rest of the afternoon getting Bella ready to go to her grandparents. Bucky leaves about 4pm to take her and you start getting ready for the party.

Bucky's pov

Bella and I are in the car on the way to Yn's parents house

Bella: Daddy

Me: yes Bella

Bella: When Mama's birfday?

Me: Well, Mama's birthday is in just a few weeks actually.

Bella: What we det her for present?

Me: Well, I have a couple of ideas, what do you think?

Bella: Daddy

Me: yes baby girl

Bella: I know what we tan det her

Me: (I'm thinking she's going to say a giraffe or something equally absurd) Ok, you tell me what should we get her then?

Bella: A baby

I nearly drove off the road, that was the last thing I thought she would say: Umm Bella, baby, why do you think we should get Mama a baby for her birthday?

Bella: Tause I heared her tell Aunta Nat she wants a baby so I fought we tould det her one but I don't know what shop to go to, tan you help get Mama a baby Daddy?

Me: Umm.. Wow (under his breath).. When did you hear her say that Bella?

Bella: Dis morning when you were with Unca Teve. Aunta Nat tame in our room and Mama said she want a baby.

Me: Ok Bella, let's not tell anyone else about this ok? If Mama wants a baby for her birthday then it has to be a surprise so nobody else can know, ok?

Bella: Otay Daddy. I love you

Me: (stunned) I love you too baby girl

With that, we pull up at the house and Yn's Mum & Dad came running out to get Bella out of the car.

Yn's Dad: Good drive Buck?

Me: Uhh yeah, not much traffic which was good.

I helped them get Bella and all her stuff inside, then kissed her, thanked them again and got back in the car.

The half hour drive back to the compound consisted of the following conversation with myself.

If she wants another baby, why did she tell Nat and not me?

Is it a good time for another baby? Is there ever a good time for a baby?

Of course we can have another baby, I love Bella so much, another little one would be amazing

But why would she not talk to me about it?

Maybe we can start trying tonight?

Hang on, when was she going to talk to me about it?

Was she just going to not say anything, get pregnant and then tell me?

We should be making these decisions together.

Why would she tell Nat in front of Bella, we both know she repeats everything she hears.

Oh god, how do I bring it up now, knowing that she felt like she couldn't tell me.

Thankfully I arrived back at the compound, which effectively stopped the out loud conversation I was having.

Bucky gets back to their suite and Yn is already in the shower. He goes through the closet and chooses what he's going to wear tonight and heads into the bathroom.

Yn: Hey Buck, was Bella ok?

Bucky: Hmmm? Oh yeah, excited to see Nana and Poppy.

Yn: Well, we have a bit of time if you'd like to join me in here? (Wiggles her eyebrows at him)

Bucky: (distracted with the thoughts in his head) oh it's ok, I'll just wait for you to be done.

Yn: (thinking to herself Well that's weird, he doesn't usually turn down a shower) Ok babe, I'll be out in a minute.

Bucky sat on the edge of the bed waiting for Yn to come out of the bathroom. He had no idea what to say to her or where to even begin the conversation.

Yn emerged from the bathroom with just a white fluffy towel wrapped around herself. She looked at Bucky and could see he was a million miles away and wondered what had happened while he was gone to change his mood so dramatically.

She walked up to him and put her hand under his chin, lifting his face up so he would look at her.

Yn: Hey Buck, everything ok?

Bucky: Yeah sweetheart, I just need to have a shower to get my second wind. He smiled at her, but she noted the smile didn't reach his eyes.

Yn: Are you sure? My parents were ok?

Bucky: yeah, they were fine, they were so excited to see Bella and have her staying over the night. I'm sure there were multiple new toys for her to play with and even before I left she had your mum on the floor playing tea party.

This time when he laughed it was a genuine laugh so Yn relaxed a little.

Yn: Ok, well don't take too long in there, I still have to do my makeup and hair.

Bucky: Just come in and do it while I'm showering, not like you haven't seen all this before.

So Bucky jumped in the shower and Yn started on her hair and make up - she wasn't going to do anything outrageous so it wouldn't take her long, but she liked to look nice for Bucky.

She was done and dressed before he was even out of the shower.

He came out of the bathroom naked and just stopped and looked at his wife. She is the most gorgeous woman he's ever seen and that he gets to call her his constantly confounds him.

He walked over to her and goes to hug her but she pushes him away. 'We'll never have another baby if she pushes naked me away' he thinks to himself.

Yn: Babe, no you're still wet and Im all dressed.

She leans over and gives him a peck on the cheek and he goes to dry off and get dressed.

Several hours later they are at the party and Yn is stifling a yawn.

Nat: Well, sorry to keep you up Yn. I thought you'd be raring to go tonight, maybe get started on that thing we talked about earlier

Yn: Nat, sshhh will you? I haven't talked to Bucky yet and I don't want him to hear it from someone other than me.

Nat: That's why I said the thing and not what it actually is. When are you going to talk to him?

Yn: I was going to talk to him tonight but to be honest, he was being a little weird when he got home from dropping Bella off, so I'm not sure if I will tonight.

Nat: What do you think made him act weird?

Yn: I don't know, I asked if my parents were ok and he said yes. He did agree with me earlier that he misses Bella when she's not here, but it was more than that. I just don't know what it was about. Like he was all in his head about something.

Your favourite song came on so you grabbed Nat's hand and got up on the dance floor and started dancing. You hoped that this woke you up a bit or you would be having an earlier night than planned.

You also hoped that it would motivate Bucky, who seemed to be avoiding you tonight. Usually he was quite clingy at these things but he'd been the total opposite tonight.

Another hour or so later you were on the lookout for your husband, having exhausted yourself dancing, you were ready to call it a night and head back to your suite.

Moments later, you saw him in the corner talking animatedly to Steve.

As you got closer, Steve loudly said "Oh hey Y/n, you looking for this one? "(Pointing to Bucky)

Yn: Yeah, Babe, I'm done in, I'm going to head upstairs.

Bucky: (half turned to you but not making eye contact) Uh yeah, me and Steve are just having a conversation so I'll come up soon.

You looked at Steve and raised your eyebrows. He shook his head like he didn't know what was going on either.

You kissed Bucky on the cheek and said: Ok, well I'll see you there soon, then.

Bucky: Yeah

You turn and head up to your room, even more confused.

Bucky's pov

Steve: Just talk to her, I'm sure you've had this conversation before, why is it any different now?

Me: Because now I know she's serious about it and cause she talked to Nat about it and not me

Steve: Buck, just man up and go talk to your wife. Only she can give you the answers you're looking for

Me: yeah, I guess you're right. Wish me luck (downing the rest of his drink)

By the time Bucky comes into the room you are almost asleep. He undresses and climbs into bed beside you, laying on his back, not touching you.

You turn and scoot towards him, he lifts his arm so you can snuggle into his side and he slides his arm around your shoulders, pulling you close.

These mixed signals are killing you and even though you're not sure if this is a good time, you have to talk to him about things.

You: Bucky? Are you really ok Baby? You've been a little off since you got back from dropping Bella off and I'm starting to freak out a bit to be honest.

Bucky grunted: You're starting to freak out? Well, I'm sorry to freak YOU out!

He lifts his arm and sits up on the side of the bed facing away from you.

You: Buck, you're scaring me. We've always been able to talk about anything and now you're being silent & strange.

Bucky: I agree, we have always been able to talk about anything. So tell me Y/n, is there something you want to talk to me about? Huh?

You: Well for one I want to know what's crawled up your arse and laid a nest? You're the one not talking to me, basically ignoring me all night and now you're questioning me?

Bucky stood up and turned to look at you: So you didn't have a conversation with Nat earlier today about having another baby instead of with me?

You: What? Bucky, I.. What did Nat say? I'm going to kill her.

Bucky: You see, that's the interesting part, it wasn't Nat who told me.

You: So who told you, nobody else kne... Oh shit.. Bella?

Bucky: Yes, we're in the car heading to your parents and she starts asking about when your birthday is and what are we getting you and then she said Oh Daddy I know what we can get Mama, we can get her a baby, can you help Mama get a baby Daddy? Then she tells me she heard you tell Nat.

You: Oh Buck, I'm so sorry you heard it from our daughter. It's a little bit funny though.

Bucky: yeah, maybe if I didn't nearly drive off the fucking road with our daughter in the car.

You: Oh, I totally didn't think about her being able to hear, I thought we were talking quietly enough and she was in the next room.

Bucky: Well, I think we should get her tested, maybe she has super soldier hearing. But I don't get why you talked to Nat, forgive me if I'm wrong but I don't think she has the capability of giving you a baby?

You moved over to the edge of the bed and grabbed at his hand. This time, he let you grab it and you pulled him to you, wrapping your arms around his waist.

You: Oh Buck, I'm sorry I was just asking Nat's advice on how to start the conversation. You said a while ago something about no more babies until Bella was at school and I just, I didn't want to wait any longer and I didn't want you to feel like you had to say yes.

Bucky: Oh sugar, you know I can't say no to you, but if I really didn't want to, I'd let you know.

You: So you're ok with the idea?

Bucky: I'm so much more than ok with the idea. In fact, why don't we start trying now?

You: I'd love to but I need to show you something first.

You grabbed something from the bedside table on your side. It was a pregnancy test you'd taken when you got back to the room just for laughs.

Bucky looked at it and read the word: Pregnant

Bucky: You're already pregnant? We're having another baby?

You: Yes, we are - I took it for a laugh not thinking there was already a little peanut in there but surprise to both of us!

Bucky cradled your face in his hands and kissed you softly but full of passion: I love you so much Yn, thank you for making me a Dad again.

End note: Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed. A like and a reblog/comment go a long way if you feel inclined.

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[house-of-slayterr]

could you write thomas hewitt & bubba sawyer (separately) x reader that comes out as bi ?? ty :-D

Of course, I can little love bug!

Bubba Swayer:

You were held up in the kitchen, preparing dinner for the sawyer boys, your boys. You'd grown to love them dearly, but none more than Bubba himself. You fell in love with those big dough eyes and his pudgy, round stomach, and those arms that could lift a pig over his head without breaking a sweat. He caught you staring sometimes and got self-conscious, but if he could only see what you saw, he'd be blushing up a storm.

Bubba snuck up behind you at the sink, something that was hard to do for someone his size. He put his hands on your waist and you almost jumped, the poor man looked just as startled as you were. You turned around, placing one hand on your heart and the other delicately on his cheek.

"Jesus, you scared me bubs."

A nickname only you were allowed to call him. He loved the way it sound on your tongue.

"What'cha thinkin'" He signed.

You blushed heavily. You couldn't tell him you were busy daydreaming about him and that sinful smile of his. The one that could drop you to your knees in five seconds flat. They weren't bad thoughts, not that it mattered. You were drawn back out of your brain by Drayton bringing in a new victim.

You have grown used to the screaming and pleading living with the boys, but something was different about this one, the way she looked at you while Drayton dragged her off downstairs, made your heart flutter.

"You ok?" Bubba asked.

You nodded, turning back to cooking.

"Just swell, cupcake."

Later that night, you snuck down to the basement. Something was drawing you down there. You weren't supposed to go down without one of the boys by your side, but no one would know, right? You looked at the mess Drayton had made, out of all the siblings, he was one of the most clean.

You gently lifted the sheet off the girl's body, revealing just what he had done to her. This time, Bubba didn't want to startle you, so he knocked on the door frame at the bottom of the stairs.

"What are you doing?"

It was hard to see his signs in the dark.

"Don't know Bubs, couldn't sleep."

"You know her?"

You shook your head. Bubba was beyond confused by your strange behaviour. He thought you'd grown used to seeing victims, even though he tried his best to protect you from it.

"Sad?"

"No, it's- it's not like that Bubba, she was rude, she deserved it."

"Then what?"

You sighed heavily.

"She was just really pretty Bubba. It's a shame, we don't get to see many pretty women around here."

While Bubba had to agree, they were still a tad confused. You noticed and chuckled slightly. You grabbed his face and made him look at you.

"I'm Bisexual Bubs, but I've only got eyes for you. Come on, let's go back to bed."

You grabbed their hand and dragged them back upstairs. Bubba thought about what you said all night. They'd have to make you something to show his support in the morning.

Thomas Hewitt:

Things were crazy around the Hewitt house. And the heat was getting to you. A new group of teens rolled into town, and you knew there was much work to be done. Hoytt wouldn't let you get away with "sitting on that pretty ass all day" So you played your role well, luring in the half-drunk college kids, with your pretty face and southern charm.

It worked every time without fail. The tourists tended to trust you since you looked so non-threatening.

"Gas stations just down the road boys, I'll head to the back and get the sheriff out to help ya"

"The sheriff is at the gas station?" One of the idiot jocks asked.

"Someone tried to rob little Miss Mae, Hoytt ain't gonna let that happen again. The poor woman was scared out of her wits."

Of course, you played up the story to sell the whole innocent tale. The real story was the man who tried got beat to shit and served for dinner three days later when Tommy was done with him. Nobody disrespected his mama.

"That must have been really scary." the blond one said.

"You guys get lots of crime out here?" A boy asked, draping his hand on your shoulder.

"Nope" You popped the p "Towns pretty sleepy. Perfect place for tourists like you to rest your head for the night."

You pushed off of him, running forward playfully and winked. The longer you got them to stay, the easier it would be to split them up and pick them off. Once you made it to the gas station, you heard the familiar chime of the bell.

"Afternoon Miss Mae, these boys here looking for the sheriff. Car troubles, tree down in the road."

"OH golly, ain't nobody got hurt did they?" She winked at you when they weren't looking.

"Just their pretty city vehicle, they'll need a place to be staying while they sort themselves out don't ya think?"

You watched as some of them looked through the snacks in the store, talking amongst themselves. As Mae went to the back to talk with Hoytt, you sat up on the counter and swing your legs. You didn't notice Tommy watching you from the shadows. The blonde girl from earlier approached you, her shirt is hiked up a little.

"Sorry about this, but my friend over there dared me $50 to do this>' She began.

"Do what?" You questioned.

She quickly kissed you. At first, you were shocked, you don't been kissed by a pretty girl before. Though you thought about it often. You kissed her back, pulling her head closer to yours. You made a mental note to ask Hoytt to kill this one last. When you plled away, her gum was in your moth and you popped a little buble.

"Well shit, Sugar, all the city girl kiss like that?" You asked.

She blushed a little at your compliment. You'd certainly kill the boy who dared her yourself. Sure, the kiss wouldn't have happened without him, but daring someone to kiss someone they aren't into sexually is performative. She seemed pretty straight to you, and it's clear the boy just thought it would be hot to watch. Gross.

"Just when there's money involved." The other girl said.

You rolled your eyes.

"Hope it was worth it." You rumbled, hopping off the counter.

You went into the back room to mope, but Thomas was quick to comfort you.

"What?" he signed, pointing to the group.

"You were watching, weren't Ya big boy? You like the show? Think its all funny like they did? Bunch of no-good city folk!"

"Not funny"

"Then you think it gross." You challenged, you knew his mama was a religious woman.

"Them gross. You sad. You gay?"

You chuckled a little, wiping the tears from your eyes. You didn't even notice them starting to fall.

"I'm Bisexual Tommy. Sure, I like pretty girls, but I like pretty boys more. Pretty boys like you."

You stood on your tippy toes and kissed his check. A difficult feat since he was a giant.

"Want to help me show them my sexuality aint a party joke?"

Thomas thought you would never ask. Who cares what his mama's bible said. He loved you, and if you also loved women, then he'd defend you all the way.

Bonus: Chop Top

You were busy doing Bubba's hair and makeup. They looked really pretty with thier new face mask on. You helped them pick it out, the girl was the right build, it was hard to find one face that could fit Bubba's with minimal alteartions. The wig you picked was perfet, and you amde them a pretty dress out of some old overalls. It still had lots of pockets so they coudl get work done aroudn the hosue. Bubba was feeling mroe feminine today so you wanted to helpher out.

You turned her around to look in the mirror. The twinkle in their eyes made your heart melt. Chop Top walked by at that moment and stood in the doorway. You grew uncomfortable and cleared your throat.

"Don't ya think Bubba looks real pretty Chop?"

"Sure, he does, but you look more prettier."

You bit back the blush on your cheek. Always the charmer, that one.

"She, They're using She/They pronouns today Choppy."

"Sorry Bubba, didn't know. You're looking like one of those city girls, with the nice face paint. And I like that hair color on you." Chop corrected himself.

It was one go the things you loved out him. He loved his sibling no matter what. These boys may be cannibals, but they were raised right.

"I might just have to take you out on a fancy date." You said to Bubba.

Even with the mask on, you knew she waw blushing up a storm.

"Ain't you come here with that one boy all that time ago?"

Chop asked. You giggled a little, hearing the jealousy in his voice.

"Yeah, my idiot boyfriend and his band of losers? I'm over him Chop. Besides, I always thought girls were real pretty. Bubba's the prettiest, with or without her mask." You pinched her cheek lovingly.

You then walked up to chop.

"I'm confused. This one of them City things?"

"It's called being Bisexual Choppy, I like Men and Women. Cis or trans, don't matter to me.

"So you kiss both?"

"Yes Choppy, I kiss both. I can do more than kiss to, but that doesn't matter."

You were pleasantly surprised that it didn't seem to care. He wasn't making a huge deal out of it, and you appreciated it.

"Wanna know what does matter?"

You inched closer. He started to get clammy.

"What?"

"You."

You pulled him in for a kiss.

"Now, I'm gonna go get dinner ready for my pretty, pretty people."

You left both of them blushing and swooning in your wake.

[shawnpetermuffins]

No Prior Engagement

(The outfits in the photo are not what's described in the story, but I liked the picture.)

A/n: To make this easier to write, I'm just going to use places that pertain to me - make it less confusing when I'm writing and while you're reading. You can find the "next part" in my March Mendes Madness Masterlist under 03.25

Summary: this is what happened before Shawn's minor slip up at an awards show.

***

My phone buzzes on my desk and I sigh, looking up from my study guide. 2:32 a.m. my phone read.

Bubba 💞

"Shawn, it's late. Are you okay?"

"Let's get married," he says out of the blue.

"What? Are you drunk?"

"No," he answers seriously. "I just don't want to wait anymore. Why should we have to? We're in love, right?"

"Well, yes. But-"

"I want to marry you. Right now. I want a house with you. I want kids with you. I want us to make grocery lists together. And I was just laying here in bed and I realized how much it fucking sucks falling asleep without you. And I know that I can't be anymore in love with you than I am right now. I want to marry you," he says and takes in a deep breath.

I didn't know what to think. We've talked about this, sure, but it always for when I got out of school.

"What do you say, pumpkin?"

"I want all of that, too," I start. "But I'm still in school. We can't let our first year and a half basically be long distance - even more so than usual, it would seem."

He sighs, "I thought you'd say that. Which is why I should tell you... I bought us a house in San Angelo. It's on the lake, like you've always told me you wanted. I'm ready to move down there with yoh if you tell me that you'll marry me."

My eyes burn with tears, maybe because it was so late and I was running on a total of three hours of sleep, or maybe it was because of the craziness of his request. "You're sure about this?" I take in a sputtery breath. "Like you really want to marry me? You want to spend the rest of your life with me of all people?"

"I do. And I already asked your dad. He wasn't exactly thrilled with the idea of us doing this so young, but I promised it wouldn't interfere with your studies and that we'd stay here until you've graduated. He said that as long as you said yes, then so did he. So? What do you say, y/n? Will you marry me?"

I giggle - this time I know, for a fact, it's because of the absurdity of the situation. I'm talking to my boyfriend of three years at 2:30 in the morning, and he's asking me to marry him. I have an exam in two days that I should be studying for, but my guide sits abandoned on my desk while I pace the room back and forth. "This is absolutely insane. You know that right?"

"Is this your way of saying yes?" He asks, his voice hopeful.

I bite back the smile that transforms my face, "yes," I whisper.

His laugh is so soft and happy, and I blush because I made that laugh happen. "I'll make all the arrangements. Come Saturday afternoon, you will be my wife."

"Whoa. That fast?"

"Yes," I know he nodded on the other side. "I told you I didn't want to wait anymore. Now go get some sleep, you can study in the morning. Right now, though, I want my fiancé to be well rested."

I shake my head, "I love you," I say in pure bliss.

"Good night, future wife. I love you more."

"Good night, future husband. I love you most."

---

"You're sure you're okay with not having a huge wedding?" Shawn asked outside the courthouse.

I look down at my outfit, black shirt, cream skater like skirt - the bottom hem littered with flowers - And black stilettos that I was already ready to slip out of. I'd always imagined a big flowy white gown, but when I look over at Shawn - dressed in a white button up, a few buttons naturally undone, and signature black jeans and Chelsea boots. He looked perfectly content just like that and I couldn't ask for more. I didn't need the big fancy wedding as long as I had the man of my dreams standing next to me.

"I'm okay," I say finally, taking his hand in mine. "I just want to marry you already. I don't care how."

He caresses my knuckles and leans in to press a sweet kiss to my lips. I hum in acknowledgement and kiss back, placing my free hand behind his neck. "Then let's go do this."

---

Everyone we want it here. Our parents, siblings, Andrew, the band, my aunt and uncle, my two best friends, Josiah, and Brian. This is all I needed.

"Shawn, if you would..."

My beautiful boy clears his throat, "y/f/n y/m/n, I may not have known you my whole life, but it definitely feels as if I have. In these three years we've been together, I've watched you grow into this beautiful, confident young woman who I am so lucky to have by my side through my crazy, fast paced life." He clears his throat, shaking his head with a soft smile. "I never thought the day would come when I met someone who's soul matched mind. You're my other half, pumpkin. I know a million little things about you and I can't wait to learn a million more. I love you more than should be humanly possible. The way you do your nails every Sunday afternoon, like clockwork. How you scrunch up your face when you're annoyed. The way your laugh, when it's completely real, fills up a room with nothing but brightness."

I giggle through the threatening tears. Shawn wipes away the one straggler tear. "The way you'd probably rather do anything but watch Harry Potter for the hundredth time, but you sit through it anyway because you know it's my favorite. I'm just... I'm so in love with you and I want to spend the rest of my life proving that I am. You are my forever person and I wouldn't have it any other way."

He catches a couple more of my fallen tears and I melt at the soft gesture.

"Y/n?"

I take in a shuddery breath, "I don't know entirely what to say. I tried writing down how I felt about you a billion times. I tried writing these vows the second we got off the phone the other night. There are not enough words in the English language to tell you how I feel. But I know that my entire being is on fire with just the brush of your hand against mine. Shawn, I fell in love with you when all you were to me was an international pop star, who had no idea u even existed. I was about sixteen then. And then god put you in my path when I was seventeen and I haven't turned back since. When we met, I didn't meet Shawn Mendes: superstar. I just met Shawn: a regular guy just living his life. There was never this moment of celebrity to fan; it was instantly friend to friend."

He pushes a strand of hair behind my ear and I can't help but smile. "You make it entirely too easy to love you. And I do. More than anyone else in the world. I can't believe how lucky I was to find my other half at only seventeen, and to be standing here, three years later, completely giving myself to you. I love you more than you will ever know, bubba, and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you."

---

"I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride."

"Finally," Shawn mumbles, pulling me against his hard chest. His large hands rest on my cheeks and kisses me with so much love and passion. I laugh into the kiss and pull away. "You're my world, Mrs. Mendes," he whispers into my hair, holding me tight.

I bury my head into his chest, "I have never loved my name more than I do in this moment."

He hums, "I love you so much."

---

Shawn stands up, holding his wine glass. "I would like to propose a toast to my beautiful wife," he stops and smiles for a second. "Guys, I get to say that for the rest of my life. That's- wow, that's the greatest gift I could ever receive." The whole table awes, the women, of course placing their hands over their heart. "I just want to say that I am so lucky to have found you when I did. And even more lucky that you agreed to marry me. I fall more and more in love with you every day. Y/n, baby you are my biggest blessing, and I could not be more grateful for our time together. Now, let's go change your name to Mendes on everything."

We all laugh, but he I know he's serious. Bevause I've been thinking the same thing since I said 'I do.'

He leans down and pecks my lips gently. I hum and pull away as he sits back down. "You're the perfect human being," I whisper, taking his hand in mine. I bring it to my lips and smile at the single silver band that now decorates his left ring finger.

Brian stands next. "Well, I too would like to say a few kind words about the happy couple."

"Oh no," Shawn and I say in unison.

"Y/n, when you guys first met, I knew that Shawn had met his soul mate. It was undeniable, the chemistry between you two. Everyone thought you were moving too fast, and I hate to admit that for a second there, I thought so too. But then I realized, there was no other pace for you guys to go. And you couldn't be moving that fast, when it took six months for you guys to say 'I love you.'" I laugh at that. "Your relationship began at such an awkward time for the both of you. But you shoved any doubt that anyone had away and you powered through. And now here you are, three years down the road, married. I'm so proud to be able to call you both my best friends."

Everyone takes turns toasting us, and it's all beautiful, but I just really wanted to be alone with my husband.

A couple more hours pass before we're back in my car, Shawn takes my hand and just stares at it for a while.

"What are you doing, bubba?"

He looks up at my through cloudy eyes, "You're my wife," he says, barely above a whisper. "God, I'm so lucky."

"Shawn, are you crying?" I reach for his face with my free hand. His eyes are red as he stares at me. "Why are you crying, hon?"

"Because we're married. I'm married to the love of my life. I don't- I don't think I could ever be any happier than I am today. Today was better than any show I've ever played, any award I've ever won, and place I've ever been. Today is the absolute greatest day of my life."

***

I hope you enjoyed this fluff. Next and final part will be up on Wednesday!

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