#i've applied for 13 jobs and counting

[la-galaxie-langblr]

The epics highs and lows of summer job hunting

[goldenlikedayl1ght]

the lakes - m. murdock

a/n: hey guys so i've been struggling a lot with the fact that i might have hearing loss (i'm going to the doctor next week) and as always i am projecting, but i am not 100% sure everything in this fic is accurate and for that i apologize. but it's my little passion project and i hope you enjoy <3 as always, comments and reblogs are always loved and appreciated! warnings: hearing loss, hearing aids, tinnitus, reader struggling with being disabled, some parts are more vulnurable and don't have the reader being like overly confident in their disability, matt being soft, some suggestive behavior at the end, kissing, nicknames, pretty pg-13 honestly word count: 3.0k summary: your hearing aids run out of battery, and you're forced to struggle through a day of ringing ears and being deaf. matt helps, as he always does. pairing: matt murdock x hard of hearing!reader now playing: the lakes - taylor swift "take me to the lakes/where all the poets went to die/i don't belong/but my beloved, neither do you."

“Are you deaf?”

“What?”

You’re eighteen, home from college for the first time since fall break. Your family sits around for Thanksgiving, and there are so many people talking. There’s about thirteen people at this long dining room table, and they are all talking at once. You’re sitting next to your sister, but you can’t hear her well.

You know she’s speaking, and you’re sure you’re yelling, but you’re frustrated.

“I said, are you deaf? I repeated myself like, four times!”

You feel your face flush.

“Sorry, I didn’t hear you. You’re mumbling, and it’s loud in here.”

Your sister looks at you like you’re crazy.

“I’m right next to you, and I’m not mumbling. In fact, no one is yelling, either.”

You poke your fork at your sweet potatoes and feel hot, angry tears in your eyes as you avoid everyone’s gaze.

Your mom sits across from you, and frowns, planning to tell you to make an appointment at the student health center when you get back to campus.

She doesn’t even have to. You’ve booked one by the time she says it to you.

At the student health center, they administer a hearing test, and then refer you to a specialist for further testing. You call your mom, crying and she gently comforts you, before driving to the nearest bookstore and picking up a book on hearing impairments and a copy of ASL for Dummies.

At the specialist, they do another round of tests. Your doctor tells you that you do in fact have hearing issues and that you should come back in a year for more testing, to see if your hearing gets worse. For now, you get a doctor’s note that requires all your professors to take your hearing impairment into consideration. The process for getting that applied at your university is painful, and only gets worse through your years there.

Before you get to law school, your doctor tests you again, and tells you how your hearing has been decreasing in quality in the past few years. He says that you’ll need hearing aids to regulate it. You cry because you cannot afford that.

You get captioning accommodations throughout law school, as well as a note taker for certain classes that are entirely lecture based. You still try to take your own notes, but it frustrates you that suddenly you need all this help. Your own notes are incomprehensible and often miss key parts of the lecture as you sit for a few minutes trying to decipher what your professor had said a few minutes prior.

You go into corporate law after law school, choosing to stay out of court initially because you find yourself frustrated that you wouldn’t be able to process all of what’s going on due to the many voices.

You stay at this company long enough to get your hearing aids, long enough to pay your loans, and long enough to save up a good fund for your hearing aid needs.

You quit your job and get hired at Nelson, Murdock & Page as an interim while you decide what you want to do.

With your hearing aids, life isn’t so frustrating anymore. You find yourself enjoying casual chatter and not worrying about processing what your friends are saying. At family dinners, you take your hearing aids out when you’re mad at your family, to which your stepdad, another hearing aid user, always laughs.

And, despite the pay not being stellar at your job, you love it. You love working with people who need help, love fighting injustice, and you love your coworkers.

...

If only Matt Murdock would reciprocate your feelings towards him.

You’ve been dancing this dance for months. You come into work with coffee and stutter when you get to his doorway.

You wonder if he’ll ever know how desperately you want him.

You go about your days quietly, going to the bar with them at the end of a long week. You love your friends and find yourself hoping they know how much you love them.

Karen and Foggy, as well as Foggy’s fiancé, know about your hearing aids since they sit sort of clunkily on your ears.

You don’t tell Matt, though, not at first.

You know how bad it is, to not even tell your blind crush that you have hearing aids. But you’re embarrassed. It makes you sound like an old person even though you’re in your twenties.

But when Matt crawls into your window late at night, bleeding, you don’t even flinch as he crashes onto your floor behind you. You’re reading, your hearing aids out, and he’s unsure why you can’t hear him. Your heartbeat had no reaction, it’s like you don’t even realize he’s there.

He taps you on your shoulder and you turn quickly, and gasp, before starting to sign at him. Even in his disoriented state, he knows you’re doing something with your hands and moving your mouth. At first, he thinks that he might have stuff clogging his ears, but then he realizes you’re signing, probably because you think Daredevil isn’t blind.

He takes off his helmet.

“Matt?” You say, and it comes out a little louder than it should, because you can’t hear yourself to gage how loud you’re being.

He says something, and your gaze focuses on his mouth, where you can barely make out what he’s saying.

“I can’t hear you.” You say, softer now. You reach over to your bedside table and put your hearing aids on. By the time you look back, Matt has passed out on the ground. Oh fuck.

You get your first aid kit and begin to work on his wounds. When you’re done, you pull him onto your couch, now stained with his blood, and watch as he sleeps. Blood covers your hands, and you listen to him breathing.

When he wakes up that morning, you’re asleep on the couch, and when you feel him start to stir. You grab your hearing aids, and turn them on, before watching him wake.

He says your name softly, and you take his hand in yours.

“Hey.. You.. You’re Daredevil...”

“You’re deaf.”

“Hard of hearing. Not fully deaf, just… My right ear is a lot better than my left, but without my hearing aids I’m close to deaf, yeah…”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Why didn’t you tell me you were Daredevil?”

“I was scared. Scared that… That you would view me differently, scared that you wouldn’t like me as much.”

“I was scared too..”

“When did you start losing your hearing?”

“In college. I realized it when I went home for Thanksgiving, and then it got worse from there..” You tell him. A hand reaches out to your face, and you lean into it, letting your cheek rest in his palm. His fingers trail up towards your ear and gently run his fingers over your hearing aid.

“Thanks for stitching me up.” He says softly.

“No problem.”

“The hearing aid does explain the buzzing I always hear when you’re around.”

“You can hear my hearing aids?”

“Apparently. I can hear a lot of things. I have heightened senses. You use pomegranate shampoo and had red velvet cake for dessert tonight. Your heart is racing.”

Your face flushes.

“I can turn them off if it’s bothering you.”

“How would you hear me, then?” He has a point.

“I just don’t want them to bother you.”

“Don’t offer to hide your disability just to make other people more comfortable.”

You kiss him when he says this, in a careful way. You’re gentle, making sure not to hurt him as you do. He lays there and lets you kiss him, his hands on your face. You realize you had no reason to be scared that Matt might reject you for your disability, because he is the only person in your everyday life who really gets how it is to have a disability that affects all aspects of your life.

You trace the healed scars on his skin as you kiss him gently, careful not to hurt him. You promise that you’ll kiss him more passionately when he isn’t freshly stitched up.

• • •

A few weeks passed after that night. You and Matt start seeing each other more and more as you fall deeper in love. You find it silly that you wasted so many days, afraid of talking to each other and maybe disappointing each other over the fact that you both lack a vital sense.

But Matt never views it that way. You wear hearing aids and it’s perfectly fine because most of the time, you aren’t struggling to hear him and cannot communicate with him, and he can’t see when you can’t hear him.

Instead, Matt loves that he can hear your hearing aids buzzing softly because it always alerts him that you’re there. He can hear your heartbeat and smell you, too, but it’s not quite the same as this soft little buzzing that reminds him often of a bee.

Except for this one day.

You slept over at Matt’s on a Thursday and really, you should have known better. You knew your hearing aids were going to need a battery change soon, but you’ve been so busy with work and with Matt, and worrying about him at night, that you’re tired. So tired that you forget to pick up batteries before your hearing aids die.

You sneak out of Matt’s apartment early, sending him a text that you needed to go get changed before work. Really, you want to avoid the fact that you wouldn’t be able to hear him. But he didn’t respond to your message. You decide that you don’t care at this moment and head out to work, debating the right way to tell your coworkers about your predicament.

When you get to work, Foggy is immediately talking to you, and you are tense.

“Foggy—” He’s not stopping. It sounds like he’s mumbling, and there’s this ringing in your ears. “Foggy, I can’t hear you.” He finally looks to you, and says something, you make it out to be a phrase of confusion. “My hearing aids died.” You tell him. You’re frustrated, and Matt isn’t in the office yet.

You deem this as a blessing and a curse. Foggy goes to tell Karen what’s going on and as you’re settling down for the day, you get a text. You hope it’s from Matt, but when you see Karen’s name, you falter slightly.

‘Hey! Foggy told me what was going on. We’ll have your calls redirected to one of us and you can spend the day doing housekeeping and paperwork.’

‘Thanks’, You respond, “Sorry about all this. I’m usually on top of my battery life.”

“Don’t worry about it. These things happen.”

“Still, thanks. Did you hear from Matt at all?”

“No, he probably just slept in late. He should be in soon.”

You try to ignore your anxieties over his absence even though you know that when he does come into the office, you’ll have to struggle to communicate with him all day.

So, for the first hour or so of your day, you try to get some work done but there’s a light ringing in your ears that’s getting worse and worse as you attempt to try and focus on other things. Everything sounds so muffled. You’re so focused that your teeth grind against each other, your muscles tense, as you attempt to try and block out the ringing in your ears.

You have a feeling that by the time you leave today, those hot frustrated tears will be threatening to pour once more.

You don’t hear Matt as he steps into your office and stands by your left side, where you’re almost completely deaf. He stands there for about ten minutes, trying to get your attention before he realizes the light buzzing of your hearing aids are not there.

You must not have them in.

So his hands find your shoulders gently, and instead of tensing, you actually relax under his touch, because you realize that it has to be Matt. A slight turning of your head confirms it and you lean into his touch.

Neither of you say much for a while, deciding to let your frustration slowly dissipate as you lean into his warm hands. They stay on your shoulders and upper arms, rubbing gentle patterns into your skin.

After a good ten minutes of this, his body shifts to your right side and he leans down, before speaking at full volume, maybe even a little louder, just to make sure you can hear him. It still sounds like he’s mumbling, but you can hear him.

“Forgot your hearing aids?”

“Batteries died.” You tell him. “You never answered me.”

“My phone died. I forgot my charger, too.. Are you gonna be okay to work all day?”

“Mhm..” You smile softly, “You’re gonna have to help answer calls, though.”

He kisses your cheek, and you lean into the warmth.

“Anything for you, sweetheart.” He says, a soft smile on his face.

The day goes by pretty much as you expect it. You spend it doing paperwork and dodging phone calls, your tinnitus gets worse as the day goes on. By the time the day is finally winding down, Karen sends you one final text.

“Matt’s staying a little late to catch up on some work. Want me to walk you home?”

“No, I’ll be fine. Thank you.”

You realize that because she and Foggy are heading home, you’ll be able to sit with Matt, maybe get a little bit of peace. You’re thankful, too, because you’re about to lose your mind over all of this. The ringing is just getting to be too much.

You wait a few minutes after Foggy and Karen head home before you go into Matt’s office. He smiles at you and gestures for you to come in, and you do. You lean against his desk, as he speaks loud enough now that you can hear him.

“I’ll just be a few more minutes, Bee.” Even the soft-spoken nickname doesn't get you out of your funk, too busy wanting to get on your hands and knees and beg God for your hearing back.

That doesn’t usually happen, but every once in a while you ask him for a normal life.

God sends you a blind man as your soulmate, because he must think that the whole thing is quite funny.

“Okay…”

You feel hot tears pooling in your eyes as you bite your tongue and dig your fingernails into your skin. You almost draw blood.

“What’s wrong?” He can tell that something is wrong. He can always tell, and you’re foolish to think anything less of him, and even more foolish to forget his super senses. A part of you bites back a bitter feeling, since you wish you could’ve had super smell, super sight, super taste, anything in exchange for your hearing. You were not given an exchange, only forced to give, with nothing in there for you.

You forget that your boyfriend has super senses and can taste and smell your salty tears and blood in the air. Damn him.

“Loud… Ringing in my ears, my tinnitus is always really bad when I don’t use my hearing aids for a while..” You say softly. “It’s just.. it really hurts...” You confess, tears slipping down your face.

“Sweetheart..” He takes off his glasses and rests them on the desk in front of him. “C’mere..” You can’t hear that last part, but the way he opens his arms gives you the hint.

You sit on his lap, burying your face in the crook of his neck with a shaky sigh. You feel the thumps of his heartbeat and hold onto it, the ringing in your ears slightly muffled by his skin. It doesn’t fix the problem, but it helps.

His hands linger on your body, gentle caresses of your knee or thigh happening here and there. He just wants you to know he’s there, in the same way he desires when everything becomes too much for him.

“”m sorry..” you say gently, and he just hushes you softly, kissing your head. He traces patterns into your skin. He traces words into it as well.

L-O-V-E.

S-W-E-E-T-H-E-A-R-T

He traces your name, his, and your last names.

You kiss him softly, realizing that you might never be 100% okay with your hearing, but Matt will help. He’ll understand. He loves you, and it’s enough to be confident in your future again.

You spend only a few minutes more in the office before you decide to head home, his hand never leaving yours.

You make it back to his apartment and Matt plugs his phone in in case you need to text him and get his attention. You wind up stealing a pair of sweatpants, a tee shirt, and a pair of fuzzy socks. The two of you wind up tangled together on his couch.

Your ear is pressed against his chest as he gently caresses your skin, occasionally moving your hair from your face. He mumbles sweet nothings, and while you can’t hear them, you feel the rumbling vibrations in his chest, and you relish in them. You bathe in the feeling of his heartbeat thumping against his skin.

You fall asleep like this, with Matt touching you and talking in this low tone to make sure you can feel the vibrations of his voice in his chest and in his throat. It’s enough just knowing he’s there. That this thing you thought would deem you unlovable is no match for Matt Murdock, who on your wedding day will throw up the sign for ‘I love you’ in ASL.

For Matt Murdock, who, when you’re taken for loving the devil, will find you and take you into his arms and kiss you so that you know he’s real.

For Matt Murdock, who touches you in all the right ways so you can hear the sounds of your own pleasure.

For Matt Murdock, who will gently trace patterns into your skin when you need to be grounded. For Matt Murdock, who feels himself slipping further and further in love with you and finds himself searching for the soft buzz of your hearing aids when you walk into the room.

[ellescastleglow]

🗓️2024 Review + Introducing 2025🗓️

At risk of jinxing it, 2024 has been amazing. I have really made huge strides in my year of healing. My physical health is the best it's been since I was a kid, and I finally started showing up for myself mentally. Beyond that, I've been able to heal my relationship with my dad, and I've made a lot of personal growth.

But soon, it will be time to move on to something else. I will be building on top of what I already have, of course, so it's not really the end of healing. I mean, it's not really even the end of the year yet, so I still have time to focus on it, but I want to get ahead of the new year. So:

The word of the coming year is

Achievement

Resolutions and Goals

1. Learn more French

I started learning on the 30th of October, 2024. By the 31st of December, 2025, I will be at a B1 level, if not higher.

2. Finish my book

As of November 2024, I have planned out the plot and written 4 out of 13 pages of a picture book. By December 2024, I will have written, illustrated, and formatted the story and it will be ready to print.

3. Graduate university with a GPA over 6

My GPA is already over 6, and I will maintain it until my graduation in October of 2025. I will then have a degree in history with a minor in applied history with a HD average.

4. Learn to take public transport alone

As of November 2024, I can ride the bus and train with family members if I won't have to walk too far. In 2025, I will learn specific routes to get to where I need to go and build up my confidence so I won't be limited by my family's schedules.

5. Save $1500, then $2000 in a separate account

In November 2024, my income after rent is $200 per fortnight and I have $800 in savings. Regardless of whether my income will increase throughout 2025, I will save at least $100 per fortnight until my total savings amount to $3500. If there is an increase, I will continue to save to make up for the head start I've given myself.

6. Finish reading 30 books

These books won't need to be started in 2025, but they will need to be finished in it. Starting a book in December 2024 and finishing it after the new year still counts.

7. Donate to 10 different charities

In addition to joining a mutual aid group that helps my community, I will expand my sphere of positive influence by donating to local and global causes.

8. Learn to eat intuitively

I will learn to stop eating emotionally or out of habit and binge eating. I will also study which nutrients I am craving when I feel certain ways, including how to use food to aid in the production of hormones like dopamine.

9. Start low-dose testosterone

In order to do this, I will learn to control my fear of needles enough to have the required blood tests, then use gel.

10. Set up my sewing machine and make 5 pieces

I will start with simple pieces to get used to the machine, and exercise my discipline and executive functioning by ensuring that I finish every piece I start, even if it takes multiple sessions.

11. Stop skin picking and start waxing my eyebrows

As of October 2024, I have stopped biting my nails, but still struggle with skin picking. I will also start taking more care with my appearance and wax my unibrow area, if not also shaping, once every 3 weeks.

12. Start ERP, touch a mushroom without compulsions

Although my medication is helping, 2024 me still has moderately severe OCD. 2025 me will not only expose themself to triggering things in a safe environment, but work on not performing compulsions. Mushrooms are my current biggest contamination trigger, so I will work on that the most.

13. Learn 25 basic Auslan signs

Despite living in Australia, I know no Auslan, only ASL. In 2025, I will learn Auslan signs for basic communication of needs, such as water, help, and emergency.

14. Recover from [specific trauma]

As of late 2024, I have processed a lot of it. In 2025, I will finish the job and be free of something that has weighed me down for over 20 years.

15. Start the conversion program at my new synagogue

On Rosh Hashanah of 5779 (2018) I started converting to Judaism, but due to life circumstances I had to stop before I could finish. In 2025, I will finally restart the process and will be finished in 2026.

[goodhickey]

1,9,13, and 15 for the ask thing!!! <3

YAYYY THANKS

1. what are 3 things you’d say shaped you into who you are?

Dogs and wolves are number one, seriously. As a kid, I bonded with my first real best friend over our shared love of wolves, and I would talk to anyone I could about dogs. When times were hard for me, I could count on my dogs to be there. Studying dogs and wolves more closely has helped me to better understand people through the lens of animal behaviour, and has led me to my current job which is the only one I've ever had that's truly fulfilled me. I think about dogs and wolves often, and without my love of them I don't think I'd be who I am. secondly, my father. I don't think I could ever be the person I am without him. he is the most kind and empathetic person I've ever met, who taught me the value of doing good deeds in my community and in my family without needing to be asked. his kindness is infectious and makes me feel good to help others, and the relationship I have with him is one I wouldn't trade for the world. my only tattoo (as of now anyway!) is one I got because it reminded me of him. I can show it off if anyone wants to see, lol. for my last thing though, I'd have to go with an easy answer, one that applies to pretty much everyone: the internet. I'm a very socially averse person - not by choice - and have always found it extremely difficult to put myself out into the real world and meet people. online, I've been able to meet people from all over the world who have offered me perspectives and kindness I couldn't have found in my local community, even if I weren't too cowardly to look. my best friends in the world are people I never would have met in my life without the internet, and they've all shaped me in ways I don't think even I'll fully comprehend.

9. tell a story about your childhood

this ones a bit bittersweet, but this is always the memory that comes to mind when someone wants to hear an anectdote about my childhood. the last time I ever saw my childhood dog was a rainy day, when I was eleven years old. my parents are divorced, and the dog was my dad's, so I only got to see him every other weekend. but we were the same age when they adopted him, and so we were both eleven then. I had no way of knowing it would be the last time I ever saw him - as a child, I couldn't note any symptoms of anything to come, and it's not as if anyone would have told me. he liked to try and jump on me, but at his age and weight all he could do was rear up on his hind legs like an old horse. a few winters prior, my dad had built the old man a doghouse of his own, with a porch and a heater to keep him warm. it was a sunday, and we were playing in the yard. or, as much playing as he could do anymore. I didn't really mind him being slow. as a baby, they'd set me on his back and pretend to let me ride him. I was more than okay carrying his weight this time around. but it started to rain hard after not too long - and PNW rain storms are no light business. but I didn't want to leave him just yet, knowing that going inside meant finding my father waiting to drive me back to my mother's, somewhere I'd rather not be. so we retreated to the doghouse - comfortable enough for us both to fit inside, my dad was kind to his dog like that - and sat there for a while. he and I were both wet and panting, staring out into the endless sheet of rain as it poured over the grass. I held him, then, seeking warmth and maybe for someone to tell me I'd be okay when I left. I remember him pressing into my chest and sighing. maybe it was then he decided he had done everything he ever wanted. my dad found me in the doghouse not long later, helping me out as I waved goodbye to my beloved yellow lump. I found out only a few days later that he had passed in his sleep. peaceful, just fell asleep and never woke up. I sometimes wonder if, in his last dream, he could hear rain pooling on an old patio roof.

13. what are you doing right now?

laying in bed. I've been awful lazy the past few days. currently snacking (cheez its) in the dark with a candle going. might pick up my copy of the terror again, though it's been a while since I've read it.

15. what do you think of when you hear the word “home”?

a doghouse.

[silv3reyedstranger]

20 Questions

thank you @appropriatelystupid for tagging me! i just finished my french exam this morning so doing this is an awesome way to spend my afternoon🥳

How many works do you have on AO3?

i was not aware that i had seven written and posted?? that's wild :0

2. What's you total AO3 count?

31,822 words?? also a massive surprise since i don't write or post nearly as often as i'd like...but hey, i'll take the win!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

okay, so obviously supercorp lives rent free in my head, but i'm also deeply entrenched in the cissamione and bellamione fandoms. i've got a fuck ton of wips for them, but i haven't put much out yet. however, recently, rojarias (reignjas) has been taking up ALL my brain space—i'm dying to write a lawyer au.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

erm. well, since i only have seven, i'll give you the top two? 1st: i'm home when i'm with you...2nd: this color looks better on you than me

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

i used to be really into and really good about responding to comments because i really appreciate every single one (and i still do) but it took a lot out of me and made me a little anxious, so i don't do it anymore. that being said, i still love and cherish every single comment that's ever been left!

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i'm really not the biggest fan of angsty endings, so i don't write them very much. i'd much prefer piling on the angst throughout and giving them a happy ending. there's too much sadness and grief in the world already, i feel like everyone should get a happy ending.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

oo, okay, i'm not sure about happiest since they feel pretty even, but if i really had to pick maybe oh how love stings?

8. Do you get hate on fics?

i don't currently, which i think is in part because of how lovely most people in the fandoms i'm in now are, but years ago i wrote a dramione fic and people had a lot (which wasn't necessarily hate, but it was still unnecessary) to say about that.

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

i've tried on occasion, but let's just say i'm still working out the kinks (pun intended)

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

i don't and i don't think i will anytime in the near future because i feel like a lot of planning will have to go into that and i don't have the brain space right now. but secondly, i don't feel an immediate urge to merge any two worlds currently.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

luckily, no, not that i'm aware of—hopefully it stays that way!

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

i've had someone ask in my comments before, but as mentioned above i don't really answer comments and i'm still not sure if i'm entirely comfortable with translations even if it allows a larger audience access to the fic.

13. have you ever cowritten a fic before?

i was working on one with @glitterslytherin a few years back, but we never quite got much of it finished haha

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

it's gotta be supercorp, but currently, rojarias and cissamione have me in a chokehold (i suppose i'm on my supercorp detox atm? maybe i'll be able to churn out fics after this little break)

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

i think this applies to all my WIPs to be honest. obviously i want to finish them all, but motivation is a bitch and she tends to come and go as she pleases XD

16. What are your writing strengths?

i'd like to think i do a pretty good job with dialogue. i used to be better at descriptions, but i think the balance has tilted the last couple of years.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

being able to just write and not edit on the way (another reason i rarely finish things) also planning is very much not my forte💀

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

while i am bilingual and almost trilingual, i do tend to stick with english since i feel like it's jarring to have a bit of a different language suddenly pop up and then the reader has to read the translation. and two, i'm not even grammatically accurate in english all the time, so forget about another language!

19. First fandom you wrote for?

oh, this is so mortifying...i believe it was percy jackson, but following closely behind was harry potter.

20. Favorite fic you've ever written?

i don't think i love any of the fics i have out at the moment—like, don't get me wrong, i'm super proud of them—but there's not one finished one that parades in my head all the time. the rojarias lawyer au and a supercorp orchestra au are constantly being thought about though?

tagging a couple of mutuals if ya'll wanna take part!

@theredcapeofk @yanana94 @belladonnainbloom @coffeeshib @naralanis @an-organism

[vanmarkus]

15 questions, 15 people

tagged by @harmonictechnicality (thanks so much, it was real fun! 😘)

1. Are you named after anyone?

I had this username for over a decade and it's what Dr Cox called JD in Scrubs, so yeah kind of (since I changed it, it kind of applies to my real name too lol)

2. When was the last time you cried?

uhhhh I think when I saw that spanish ad about the gradpa who learns to do his make-up to help his trans grandkid?? that got me real good

3. Do you have kids?

thank the gods, no

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

yeah, way too much probably

5. What's the first thing you notice about people?

the silhouette, their frame and how their clothes work with that

6. What's your eye color?

a very boring medium brown, but I've got some little dots in them and they pretty much turn yellow in direct sunlight

7. Scary movies or happy endings?

happy endings! scary movies feel a bit pointless for me, sorry

8. Any special talents?

I can recognise Inspector Rex from literally any shots, even if it's just someone leaning out the window and you can only see them from the back I'll still know lol, does that count?

9. Where were you born?

in Hungary

10. What are your hobbies?

writing, drawing, shopping, trying to learn new skills, nothing too exciting I'm afraid

11. Do you have any pets?

yep, got a cat and three guinea pigs

12. What sports do you play/have played?

I used to take some acrobatic dance when I was a kid and more recently krav maga, no team sports, I'm not very athletic

13. How tall are you?

5'2/158cm

14. Favorite subject in school?

art history, passed it with flying colours too

15. Dream job?

camera actor, I wanna be on screen (hence I don't do face reveals here, would probably cost me job oppotunities down the road =| )

15 tags:

well it won't be 15 lol, that's just way too much, but actually I'm just gonna say that anyone who wants to do this, refer to me, I'm tagging all of you!

[goddesstrolls]

Odds, split between Kai and Nebale

Kairos:

Biggest pet peeves? How much do they annoy you? Are they bad enough to be a deal breaker if someone you were interested did them? "...th=r= ar= a gr=at many things which annoy m=. but i doubt that annoyanc= would b= th= 'd=al br=ak=r' in a pot=ntial r=lationship..."

3. What are your turn on’s turn off’s? "this qu=stion is a 'turn off'."

5. What if your least favorite and favorite parts of your body? Any feature you pride yourself on? Then least favorite would you change it if you could? "hmh. my l=ast favorit= is no doubt obvious. th=s= awful scars and th= gaping fucking hol= in my fac=. if i could go back to a tim= b=for= i got th=m, i would in a h=artb=at. what=v=r it cost m=."

"...i would hardly call it prid=, but i am satisfi=d with my physiqu=. my hair as w=ll, at l=ast th= l=ngth of it. i would rath=r b= allow=d to hav= it cov=r my fac= mor=."

7. What is your least favorite food and why? "...i hav= =at=n m=als on par with dog shit for sw==ps on =nd. anything is b=tt=r on that..."

9. What are any tics you might have? Any nervous habits? "...again, no."

11. What is your earliest memory? Is it a happy or a sad one. "...n=utral. i r=call lying on my back in th= moonlight, und=r th= tr==s in th= for=st n=ar wh=r= i hatch=d. my lusus was lying b=sid= m=..."

13. If you could have any super power what would it be? "...shap=shifting, i suppos=. if only to fix on= probl=m of many..."

15. What would you do with the ability to see ghosts? Would they scare you or would you be interested in them? "...i can s== th=m. th=y ar= of no cons=qu=nc=, usually."

17. How good a liar are you? How often do you lie to others. "th=r= is no n==d for m= to li=."

19. How far would you go to be perfect? Are you ok with flaws? " i am d==ply flaw=d r=gardl=ss of my =fforts. i hav= no r=cours= but to b= 'okay with it'. th=r= is no point to putting particular =ffort towards th= vain goal of p=rf=ction."

21. How much do you sleep? What is your typical night time routine? "...four hours...mayb= fiv=, if i am lucky. if i hav= any =n=rgy aft=r work, i cl=an, soak my gills, brush my hair and t==th, and go to b=d."

Nebale:

23. How good are you with choices? Is it easy to make decisions or do you struggle with them? "I can't think of the last decision I fuckin' struggled with."

25. What is the worst thing you’ve done to someone? Do you regret it? "I don't keep track of that shit. I've killed people in some brutal fuckin' ways. At least I'm fucking quick about it, I don't like hearing trolls screaming."

27. How good are you with computers? How much do you use them in every day life? "I haven't touched a computer in fucking sweeps. I think since I had to make a goddamn resumé to apply to some fucking job."

29. If you knew you had less then a sweep left to live how would you use it? "Fuck, I dunno. Maybe I'd find some crazy suicide mission and die on that instead."

31. Which would you prefer you dying before your loved ones, or them dying before you? "I'm a fucking violetblood. Pretty much all the people I know are probably going to die before me."

33. What are your stances on the spectrum? "Fuck that noise."

35. If you were empress for a day what would you do? "Heh. Kill all the highbloods, 'Cept for the mutants. Just for the hell of it."

37. What do you fear loosing most? A possession, your senses, loved one, ect? "My life."

39. What is your biggest dream in life and how far would you go to obtain it. "I don't bother with that bullshit."

41. Are there any people in your life you miss? What would you do if you could see them again? "...." "Yeah, there are a lot of people it might be nice to see again. I don't know. I'd tell 'em 'hey'."

43. Do you consider yourself a material troll? If giving up every thing you owned meant eternal happiness would you do it? "I've had to do that more times over than I can fuckin' count and it never brought me eternal happiness or whatever. It was just fucking inconvenient."

[kanamesharisenwrites]

may update!

i have been so busy i can't even

we just finished moving my daughter out of her ridiculously overpriced rental and it was an ordeal. thankfully we're done with that era and ready to start our new one where we gut the double wide my parents gave me and turn it into the coziest little hobbit hole our combined finances will allow

in between travelling to help her move and keeping up with work, i've been applying for jobs nonstop. i think i've applied to 35 so far but honestly i've lost count. please send good vibes my way! the sooner i get a job, the sooner i can move out of my ex's place...

i'm almost done training my replacement at work, so i'm finally - FINALLY!!!!! - at the point that i can drag up and have no regrets or obligations hanging over my head

other things (possibly) less important: - i've managed to almost finish playing FFIV and i'd forgotten how much i love playing video games? god, it's so good to have that part of me back - i finally decided to watch bridgerton and i have SO MANY FEELINGS OMG. june 13 cannot come fast enough

i'm not normally one for new year's resolutions because A) every time i've tried i've epically failed and B) realized the custom is driven by capitalism and some socially misinformed need to "fix" myself. but this year i really felt like, considering the state of my personal life, i should do something. so here goes...

heather's 2024 new year's sidequest list:

post 1 chapter of fanfic per month (even if the chapters are shorter than i'd like)

read 4 new books

eat a piece of produce everyday

drink at least as much water as my tea consumption

buy myself a ring

collect a starbuck's cup for every season

go to a concert

discover a new band or fandom

go on a monthly adventure with my daughter

take my son to the musical instrument museum

travel to another state

buy bigger luggage

go camping

create a new education/career plan

get a tattoo

move

get a divorce

refinsh a piece of furniture

make a new friend

take a selfie with everyone i love

write a poem

send out christmas cards (not digital!)

eat a meal from a cuisine i've never tried before

finish a video game

forgive someone

explore a national landmark

get a passport

there's a total of 26 here - one for every year that my life was not my own

[g-rasyaana]

Thinking ahead

I updated my lawyer the other night, told her that I have attended my appointment for the biometrics. Then I asked about my visa options once the visa we applied for expires.

Aware naman ako that the validity of my visa will just be 13 months, because my internship will only last for 10 months then a few months alloted for the AU board exam. Most of the visas para maka-stay and work doon, nag rrequire ng 2-3 years experience. Dito kasi sa PH, 11 months lang experience ko (4 months sa hospital, 7 months sa community). The AU internship can be counted as experience but that will still make me 3 months short for the 2 years experience.

Sabi ng lawyer ko, the current visa we applied for will most likely take 5 months before grant kaya I can use that time to gain additional experience daw muna. Kaso, hindi kasi iyon pwede sa situation ko. Sa work ko ngayon, 60 days ang need i-render from the day of resignation. So kung gusto ko magkaron ng konting experience, ngayon palang dapat mag resign na ko at ayaw ko naman yun. Main reason nga din bakit hindi ako makatagal sa hospital or community pharmacy dito is because of the salary. Kung sarili ko lang, ayos lang, kaso tumutulong din ako sa parents ko. Kukulangin ang sahod ko dahil pamasahe palang wala na. Also, I wont be able to continue my part time job kasi for sure pagod na ko sa work dahil papasok everyday, edi bawas nanaman sa pera.

I actually have another option naman. Pwede ako mag apply for subsequent entrant visa bilang partner ng bf ko. Need pa itanong yon sa employer niya kung pwede i-extend sakin ang nomination, pero marami naman daw siya ka-work na sinama ang mga partner or family kaya okay iyon. Then proof that we are in a de facto relationship, hindi kasi pwede ngayon dahil hindi naman kami live-in, kaya plan nalang is pag andon na both.

But, I don't wanna depend on that. Ayoko makampante na pwede iyon. Paano kung hindi pumayag employer or hindi enough documents namin to prove the de facto relationship? Edi problema ulit. Tsaka what if kami mismo magkaproblema, edi ako pa lugi since ako ang nakakabit lang sa visa niya.

Kaya naman I've been thinking and planning kung ano gagawin ko pag malapit na mag expire yung unang visa ko. Ayaw ko naman umuwi lang after nung internship. LOL advance e, di pa nga nakakapag medical, expiration ng visa na agad nasa isip hahahaha! Pero ayun, ito naiisip ko sana :

🇦🇺 student visa - Will have to prove temporary stay, pano iyon kung nag ttraining nga ako to be a pharmacist there.

🇨🇦 student visa - Expensive.

🇬🇧 student visa - Super expensive. Closed na din ata ang OSPAP until 2024.

🇦🇺 state nominated visa - Not sure if ma-nominate nga ba ako.

🇳🇿 working holiday visa - 100 slots per year only.

🇪🇸 teach english - Hindi na pharmacy experience.

Kung wala talaga, no choice but to go back to the PH. Naiisip ko naman kung babalik, hindi ako mag stay samin. Siguro sa province ako tas try ko nun mag work saglit then i-enjoy at mag travel muna locally dahil iyon ang hindi ko magawa gawa, tapos mag ipon din at tsaka ako mag try for AU ulit.

Malaki naman ang chance na ang mangyari is kakabit ako sa visa ng bf ko, gusto ko lang talaga maging ready because I don't know what the future holds. Ayoko yung kung kailan andiyan e tsaka lang pag iisipan.

[jeremy-hillary-boob]

HEY LOOK I FIGURED OUT HOW TO DO AN ASK!!!! LEARN SOMETHING NEW EVERY DAY

DO HELP! HELP HELP HELP!!! RANK THOSE BEATLES SONGS HAHAHAHAHA!

look at you go!! thank you, Help! is Such an album. here we go:

1. You've Got to Hide Your Love Away - John baby stop projecting all your homosexual angst onto the only openly gay man in your life. this song is not about Brian. stop lying.

2. The Night Before - what a tasty melody. I want to eat it

3. I've Just Seen a Face - listen, ignore the pronouns, this is a Gay Baby Paul song. little teenage Paul sitting in his auntie's living room belting this out? good for him! fucking good for him. also the rhythm of the lyrics is so!! that tumbling sensation! great job little guy I'm proud of you

4. Ticket to Ride - you know that one quote about how any drummer can count the bars, but Ringo was playing the song? this is what they meant. John and Paul's vocals are stellar, but this is lowkey George and Ringo's song, they're doing the heavy lifting and making it look easy

5. Tell Me What You See - John and Paul remain the world's biggest fans of freakishly intense eye contact, and here they are singing about it. is this perhaps a song about slipping your glasses down the end of your nose and saying, "it's only me?" who can never be sure!

6. Another Girl - this song is so bitchy. it's bitchy in a very specific way, too; it's got strong girl group energy, which is of course the mood in which Paul's bitchiness gets polished to the highest possible shine

7. You're Going to Lose That Girl - speaking of girl group energy, the call and response backing vocals are delightful here, as is the boys going back to the theme of Competitive Dating hinted at in She Loves You

8. Help! - a bouncy little bop about John's steadily worsening mental health. the only reason this one is so far down on the list is because I have heard it too many fucking times, but there's a reason for that, and the reason is that it slaps

9. Yesterday - similar problem. I think I've actually heard Yesterday as many times as anyone needs to in one lifetime. nevertheless its reputation is deserved, so here it is in the middle of the list

10. You Like Me Too Much - this song gets stuck in my head constantly, and I am always charmed by george's nasally enunciation when he sings lead on songs like this one, but the instrumental choices on this are a little weak

11. I Need You - pretty much everything I said about the last one applies here too.

12. Dizzy Miss Lizzy - oh, the irony of me putting this so low on this list given how many years my identity in online beatles fandom was linked to usernames that were variations on this song. I'll give it this, John fucking committed on those vocals.

13. It's Only Love - John thought this song was a throwaway, and so do I. again, funny for me to feel that way now given how much I loved it when I was 14. there are some segments of this song where the lyrics Really Worked, but it probably needed more of a polish than it got

14. Act Naturally - Ringo does a great job with a song I'm just not that into. sorry sweetie.

[prettycottagequeer]

As a person in a similar situation (queer transmasc in a catholic family, very homophobic & transphobic, who just graduated) I know a bit of how you feel. One main difference is that I'm out in some capacity to my family, though not by choice. I was outed as bi a couple years ago and they suspect I'm nb/trans although I've refused to confirmed anything. For a long time I questioned my religion and only pretended to care about it; I never really felt god like ppl talk about. Luckily after I was outed I was gradually able to stop participating in most aspects of catholicism. It was a hard process though, and with it came a lot of hatred/indifference towards my parents. They haven't been good parents to me, and it was- and is- hard. But at the same time, not having to hide is freeing. By constantly pushing back against rules and limits, I slowly wore them down and carved out a space where I can mostly be myself, although I still have to deal with comments about my hair, clothes, choices ect. nearly every day.

But no matter what, it does get better, and the time really does pass quicker than you think. I counted the days until I turned 18 for 5 years, and it still feels like i was 13 yesterday. You'll get through it, and it sounds like you have a good support network.

I'm not familiar with Jehovah's witnesses, or what it would mean to commit yourself to the religion. But if you already don't believe in it, you could always lie. Go through with it and then leave as soon as you can. college is a good way to get out, but depending on when you turn 18, that could be tricky. You could try to come out/tell them, but it sounds like they wouldn't be supportive and it would cause more harm than good. But then again, you wouldn't have to go through with the ceremony. I think it goes without saying but also try to put distance between you and your family. After you recover a bit, you can try to regain contact and set boundaries. One of the hardest things I've had to learn is that family should love you unconditionally. if they don't, are they really your family? you can choose who you let into your life, but I understand how hard it is to let go of your family.

My advice going forward:

- get a job if you don't have one already. work as much as you can for the next year so you have some savings for college or when you move out

- start looking at colleges and applying for scholarships asap. the sooner you start, the better. Maybe look at schools that would give you distance

- take a financial literacy course if there's one offered at your school. those teachers will know a lot about the legal things you'll need to do. If not, talk to a teacher/adult who knows your situation. They can help, although you'll still need your parents help to fill out things like FAFSA forms and for lots of the contracts with schools they'll have to sign as well

- Like I said, it sounds like you have a lot of support from friends. Use that. Move in with your friend if/when you need it. if they've offered, you're not a burden. your safety and mental health should be your top priority. in my experience, your friends are more willing to help than you think. don't let anxiety keep you from getting out

I hope some of this helped and things get better for you soon!! stay safe and feel free to message me <3 

This is in regards to that post you made today, about anon messages. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place and I don't really know where to turn.

Basically, I was born into a very controlling religion, probably borderline cult known as Jehovah's Witnesses. They believe they have the "truth", and that they need to remain separate from the "world" as Jesus supposedly commanded because the end/apocalypse could come at any time and they need to stay away from Satan.

I'm 17 now, about to start my last year of high school this fall and I'm a gay trans man (very much not to the knowledge of my family). My best friend since sixth grade is also trans, and I'm surrounded by lots of queer people (I live in a more accepting area/state). Thankfully, my parents were not in the position to homeschool my siblings and I, even though they had been considering it.

However, all these details lead me to a fork in the road.

A principle of this religion's foundation is preaching the "good news", from the youngest age a person is at any sort able to participate, spending their Saturday mornings every week going around neighborhoods and attempting to convert any and everyone they can.

I've been struggling along for the last 5-7 years or so since I mentally fell out of the religion's traps. However, once I turn 18 I have to commit myself to the religion, which I am in no favor of doing so.

Counting down the months, I find myself stuck in what direction to go, come out to my family (not in the queer sense yet, but rather just saying I don't believe in it anymore) and risk losing them entirely, or stay stuck in a place that is making every attempt to subdue and oppress me into a pretty, feminine, docile girl. I'll lose my mind if I have to stay in here any longer than I absolutely have to, but I don't know how to leave.

I'll turn 18 before I graduate, and I don't know what will happen past then. How do I take care of legal documents, doctors, college, those sorts of things (that part is largely rhetorical). My best friend has offered to take me in if/when I need it, and I think he said his parents/living-in family was alright with it (he's told them about me and my living situation), but I don't want to burden him cause he has his own issues--that's the same reason I'm writing this to you rather than asking him for help/advice again.

I hope you can find it in you read all of that, I'm sorry its so long but I felt it was necessary to fully explain it all. Also I wanted to thank you for your blog, I know there's not really any point to that but it's nice to read and see when I'm feeling down, it helps me feel validated in my identity. Have a good day/night/whatever's going on.

first off, im so, sorry that ur stuck in a position like this. u shouldn't have to be stuck in that type of position with those outcomes and those losses, and i really hope ur able to get out of there safely soon. i know it seems like it might be a burden on ur friend to take up his offer, like ur imposing or taking advantage or whatever reason, but if that's the safest option, i definitely recommend it. at least until ur able to come up with a more permanent/long term plan, it's good to have a safe place with people who respect u. ofc i don't know what it's like to be in a religious family like that, so my advice is from the perspective of someone who doesn't know it firsthand, but i feel like forcing urself to ignore ur identity for the sake of someone else's beliefs and comfortability will just cause more harm than good. i do hope ur able to live ur life the way u want, without having to water down or oppress ur identity for the sake of others. it will get better, maybe not now or soon, but eventually. if u ever need to talk about anything else, my inbox is always available for things like this!! and im so glad u find comfort in my blog, ive gotten that from a few ppl actually, that seeing queerness and loving men in a positive and safe light is helpful. again, if u ever need anything, my inbox is open <3

[choicesfanaf]

The Meeting of a Lifetime AU

Part 13: The Pre-Wedding Rituals

Pairing: Ethan x f!MC (Dr. Arundhati Kulkarni)

Characters: Elijah Greene, Bryce Lahela, Rafael Aveiro, Tobias Carrick, Naveen Banerji, Alan Ramsey, Sienna Trinh, Aurora Emery, Jackie Varma, Harper Emery, Kyra Santana, Mridula Patel (OC), Ruby Ramsey (OC), Uma Kulkarni (OC), Sahil Kulkarni (OC), Greg Barnett (OC), Edward Walter (OC), Apoorva Sharma (OC)

Word Count: 1458 words

Rating: General

Summary: Ethan and Aru hold a ceremony to conduct certain pre-wedding rituals according to Aru's traditions.

Category: Fluff

Tagging: @nooruleman, @izzyourresidentlawyer, @jooous, @schnitzelbutterfingers, @sophxwithers, @red-rookie

A/N:

@nooruleman: Noorie, I am extremely thankful for your help, support and motivation. It was only because of you that I decided to write this series. You are a literal sweetheart. Thanks a lot for your help!

I sincerely apologise if this turns out to be messy or not up to your expectations.

A day before their wedding, Aru and Ethan had a pre-wedding ceremony according to her traditions, known as Haldi. This ritual consisted of the bride and groom's family members and loved ones applying turmeric paste on them using mango leaves.

For the ceremony, Aru invited all of her friends from Edenbrook, as well as Mridula, Sahil and her good friend, Apoorva. She wanted everyone she knew to celebrate her happiness along with her. Ethan brought Alan, Naveen, Jenner and two of his closest friends from college along with him.

The day started with Naveen and Sahil explaining everything about the ritual to their guests so that they knew how and what to do as well as arranging some delicious Indian and Continental food and snacks for their guests.

The ceremony started as soon as Aru and Ethan arrived, both coordinating in yellow outfits, dancing to some famous Bollywood songs, which were being played by a DJ.

Naveen was the first person to smother the turmeric paste on the couple, who was applying it almost everywhere. He was doing it so excitedly as he was very happy to see Ethan finally getting married to Aru and respecting her culture as well as letting her plan her wedding the way she wanted to.

After Naveen was done teasing and blessing the couple with a long and peaceful life, Alan came forward to apply the paste and told the couple to always take care of and understand each other, which they promised they would.

"Ethan, big man, before I apply the paste, I just want to remind you how lucky you are to have a chance to marry the love of your life. So, please don't do anything that will make you lose your chance, okay? And didi, don't forget, I'm saying the same thing to you. I'm equally protective of both of you."

"Don't worry, young man, I'll take good care of your sister. And I know very well that she is strong enough to see that if anything happens to her, she will take good care of it all by herself."

"Sahil, don't worry about your big man, I know to not do anything that invokes his bad side and to stay away from it."

"That's comforting to hear, so I wish you all the happiness in the world, you guys. Always stay happy and healthy and take care of the little angels."

"Thanks a lot, Sahil. Your approval means a lot to both of us."

"You know, I started trusting Ethan from the moment I met him. The way he spoke about you and looked at you, I knew he was the one for you. I'm really glad fate gave you two another chance and you guys took it."

"I know, I thank God for it every day."

"And every day when I look at her, I forget how difficult my life was before her."

"Oh, Ethan", Aru said, on the verge of tearing up.

"Okay, you lovebirds! Dry up your tears! Enough with the sappiness and bring on the happiness. You are getting married tomorrow! You guys must be really excited!"

"We are! It seems like I've been waiting for this day to come ever since Aru returned into my life."

"Who knew Ethan would be such a softie, hey!", exclaimed Bryce as he and her friends joined Sahil to tease the couple.

"You know what, Aru has turned him into one!", teased Elijah.

"That's true, Elijah, you should have seen him before her. He was extremely grumpy back then", pitched in Harper.

"Harper, you'll have to tell us some stories of Ethan before Aru waltzed into his life", mentioned Tobias, "cause I knew how grumpy and annoyed he used to be at all times."

"Yeah, definitely. You'll love to hear them."

"Did you know, he was so grumpy that we, along with Tobias, had nicknamed him Major Grumpy Pants back then."

"Aru, meet my friends, Greg and Edward."

"Thanks for the nickname, Greg, now that's what he is going to be saved as in my phone."

"Even we have some good stories about Ethan's grumpiness that we would like to share someday."

"Sure, you all are welcome to."

"Well, Aru, it seems like you have cast a spell on our Ethan."

"So has Ethan on Aru. Just look at them!"

"I hope that this spell never wears out and may you live happily now that you have gotten another chance."

"Hey, Ethan, why didn't you invite us for your bachelor party?"

"I did, but you said that you both were extremely busy that week and would love to catch up later."

"Greg, did you say that? Cause I don't remember saying so."

"Are you kidding me?"

"Relax, Ethan, they are joking around", Aru said, as Greg and Edward started cracking up.

"Never change, Major, never change."

"Okay, guys, now let's get done and get going so we don't block others from meeting the couple. We'll have plenty of time to talk to them later", chimed in Sienna.

"But before you leave, let me give you something", Aru said, as she applied the paste on her friends.

"Why did you do that? It's your Haldi, not ours", said Bryce.

"Meathead, the bride and groom apply the paste to their unmarried friends so that they can find a partner soon", explained Jackie.

"Enjoy this new chapter in your life, you guys. May you be blessed with happiness and joy all the time."

"Aww, you guys, you are going to make me cry, you all are too sweet", Aru said.

After the group was done, Mridula and Apoorva came in to meet and greet the couple.

She pretended to be happy for the couple, but she couldn't stop thinking about how she missed her chance to be with Aru and how much she regretted letting her go.

"Is everything going well, Mri?", asked Aru.

"Yeah, everything is going good, there are no major mishaps or issues as of now."

"That's great, Mri. We are very glad that you are our wedding planner. All of this was a part of our imagination and we could turn it into reality all thanks to you", Ethan replied.

"Oh, you don't need to thank me, I am glad to have met Aru after this long. It's been a pleasure doing all this. I've always dreamed of planning Aru's wedding and I'm extremely glad I got a chance to do so."

"You don't know how happy I am to hear this. You are seriously the best wedding planner out there."

"Aww, Aru. Well, can I?"

"Yeah, go on, it's literally our Haldi. You have a right to apply the paste on us today."

"She's right, Mri. Go on. You don't need to ask us today."

"Alright, then, may you all be blessed with good life and be together forever", Mri said while lathering them up with the paste.

"You too, Mri", Aru said as she applied the paste on her face.

"Hi, Apu! I'm delighted that you could come for my Haldi. It's been ages since I met you."

"I know. We need to catch up as soon as possible. I want to know everything that has happened since the last time we met."

"Yeah, we will need an entire day for that."

"Well, that's what makes it interesting. So, congratulations on your engagement, Aru! I would have never thought that you would get married to the guy who you so deeply admired."

"Just like Ethan, who never thought that he would get married to one of his interns", joked Greg.

After everyone was done wishing and blessing the radiant couple, they went on to take a ceremonial bath, while the others had fun applying the paste on each other and enjoyed the party.

When Aru and Ethan came back, Naveen and Alan told them, "So, children, you will not be allowed to meet each other until tomorrow, okay? Will you be able to do that?"

"Definitely", they said together.

"Also, the bride and the groom meeting before their wedding is considered to be inauspicious, so we will not be doing it."

"Since when did you two become superstitious?"

"Ever since we realised that we couldn't take any more chances."

"That makes a lot of sense."

"So, you both can go and take your beauty rest while all of us will help clean up."

"Thanks a lot for everything you have done for us and the girls. We can't ever thank you enough."

"Dear, you don't need to thank me. I'm just returning the favour from every time you both have helped me", replied Naveen.

"And I'm just doing my job as a good father, Aru, you don't need to thank me at all."

[d-targaryenshoe]

Past - Andrew Deluca

Summary: Andrew coming face to face with the person who'd almost became his wife.

Warnings: miscarriage, anger

Word count: 1477

Standing in the grey elevator, electricity sounded through your ears as you shared the space with three other visitors.

But you weren't here to visit your grandma after surgery? Or a family member? No you were here to visit the person that would've been your husband by now.

Coming to a halt the doors opened and revealed a man with eyes covered by a glasses and a beard covering his cheeks.

"Hello." The guy smiled, pushing his glasses a little further up his nose.

"Hi." You smiled back, holding the strap of your brown colored bag.

You recognized this male from somewhere. But you weren't going to remind him of it. Not just yet.

"I'm Levi, nice to meet you." He introduced himself, as he held his hand out towards you.

"Y/n, nice to meet you too." You nodded, releasing the strap of your bag and shaking his hand, being the friendly person you were.

"Here to visit?" Your eyes settled on the boy.

"I guess you can call it like that?" You slightly laughed, trying to hide the fact that your heart was pounding out of your chest.

"O-kay? You're nervous. Me too. Like a lot. So nervous that my glasses fell into a human body." Levi chuckled, as his cheeks reddened.

"Oh I'm so sorry?" You apologized with a chuckle, receiving a dismissing wave of Levi's hand.

"It's all good, but thanks." The doors opened of the elevator and your chuckle disappeared within a few seconds.

"Have a nice day y/n." Levi waved as he walked of with a chart covering his hands.

"Bye." You gave him one last nod, before you grabbed your cellphone out of your bag and tried to call your only hope.

"Hi, you've reached Carina. I'm so sorry I can't pick up the call right now because I am standing right behind you. GOTCHA."

You sighed loudly throwing your cellphone back in your bag before a ginger haired female walked up to you.

"Ma'am are you alright?" She looked worried and at the same time she took in your frustration.

"Yeah yeah I'm fine don't worry." You fake smiled before turning around and taking in your surroundings.

"Well fine then?" She frowned starting to walk away.

"Wait! Do you know where i can find Carina Deluca?" Your voice spoke softly, knowing this female was only trying to help.

"Well if you're looking for her, she's right over there." You looked over to where the female was pointing.

A female covered in pink scrubs and yelling through a phone when slamming her hand on the desk? Yeah you were looking for her.

"No! Are you deaf did i say 'yes'? Huh?! I said no!" She yelled through the phone as you walked up to the information desk. "𝓐re you moronic?"

"Well that's mean?" You mumbled, placing both of your hands on top of the desk as she dropped the phone.

"Y/n!?" A loud gasp was heard as the female looked you up and down when walking around the desk to draw you in a hug.

"You've got to be kidding me?!" Carina cursed, tilting her head to one side, placing her hand on your shoulder.

"I wish i was but I'm not this time." You promised with a shake of your head.

"Well you better not be, follow me come on." She grabbed your hand walking towards an office which walls were made of glass.

"Hunt, don't let anyone near me, I'm having family in my office?" Carina glared at the ginger haired man as she received a nod in response.

"Sassy as ever, how I've missed that." Staring out of the glass view on your right, you watched doctors arguing, laughing and walking.

"The fact that you're here as the new head of Cardio means that you miss more than just me." Your ex sister in law gave you a much meaningful look, placing a dark blue scrubs on the desk.

"Please don–"

"No, don't run from the truth y/n?" Carina frowned, placing your badge in your hand just as a female voice sounded through the room.

"Doctor Deluca your nee– I'm sorry I'll come back later." A brown haired woman stuttered ready to close the see-through door.

"No Wilson, you already bothered me, what's wrong?" The Italian female sighed throwing her hair into a ponytail.

"You're needed for the premature with heart surgery at 2 o'clock." Carina sighed, getting up. "Don't leave to Italy until I'm back okay?"

A snort left your body when your eyes were settled on the young brown haired female. The light blue scrubs and the nervous state you could tell she was an intern.

" I'm Jo Wilson and i-I'm just standing here just because?" The girl gave an awkward smile.

You got up from your chair and removed your watch from your wrist. " Y/n y/l/n, head of Cardio."

"Nice to meet you, could you help me out with a patient?" Jo blurted out, walking up to you and placing a cup of coffee in your hand what made you frown.

"Is this your way of convincing me, Doctor Wilson?" You raised an eyebrow but still decided to take a sip of the hot coffee.

"Is it working?" The brown haired female asked as her eyes were settled on her chart before handing it over to you.

"It did, what's the case?" You took another sip of your coffee before putting your hair up in a messy bun.

"A 13 year old who's stubborn and won't let me do a check up." The girl informed you when shrugging her shoulders.

"Well, let's get going then." You motioned for her to walk through the door and show you the way towards the patient.

"You are Andrew's fiancé aren't you?" Jo piped up when giving you a questioning glance.

"Ex fiancé." The answer glided over your lips as you held the medical chart close to your chest with a slightly heavy grip.

"Oh, okay? Here to the left." She mentioned as the both of you made a turn to the left while you were walking.

Coming to a halt you were met by a man and a woman in their 40's and a boy with crossed arms and a glare covering his face laying on a examination gurney.

"Seriously you brought another doctor in here, you think she'll heal me? The boy mumbled, throwing his parents a glare.

"Honey, just stay calm and let her do her job please." His mother placed a hand on his shoulder, trying to camm him down.

"Let me do my job, the sooner you'll be out here." Taking a hood of your stethoscope the cold metal was placed on the boy's chest. "Can you move your shirt up a little, i want to see if you have any pain."

As your hands were placed in the middle of his stomach you noticed him slightly pulling away in pain.

"She applied pressure on your pancreas and that hurts, so my question is, have you had any other complaints?" Jo piped up as your head was pointed in her direction.

"I've been drinking more, I've been having a blurred vision out of no where?" The teenager explained, knowing that if he wouldn't say it he would be here in the next week again.

"Wilson, i want you to do a FBS test, as soon as you have results, I'm the one you page." Leaving the room you saw papers laying on the floor before grabbing them in your hands and searching for the person they belonged to.

"Those were my-" his sentence was ended by noticing you standing in front in him. "You?"

" i guess I failed the job of avoiding you." You mumbled when you rubbed your forehead in annoyance.

"I guess that i failed the job of not seeing you ever again." He mumbled between his lips when he stared at the end of the hallway, avoiding your eyes.

"After or before we called off our engagement?" Tilting your head to the side you crossed your arms. " Or after i lost our baby?"

"Don't. Talk about that, ever again." He glared when pointing a finger at you as anger and sadness filled his eyes.

"You seriously dare to think all that didn't affect me?" Your voice slightly raised as you saw a nurse giving you a bewildered look.

"That baby and that ring on your finger meant everything to me Y/n." His voice slightly cracked when turning around.

"So you're just gonna walk away?"

"You walked away from me 2 years ago Y/N, i lost a wife and a child, I don't deserve any of that pain." And that were the words that left his lips before walking away.

He was over you.

But not over your lost baby

He'll never be.

[ssaalexblake]

Watching 12's first few episodes, seeing how stunningly early the narrative of his suicidal ideation was started has kind of made me recontextualise the narrative of 13's mental health? Especially in s12, but more peripherally involving s11 too.

The specific narrative of choosing to give the doctor a group of friends whom are genuinely doing a good job in how they interact with her in the state she's in in s12 (like, don't @ me here, the reason they had no luck was because 13 was not willing to accept their help. You can't truly help somebody unless they let you, they did everything right) and then how they contrasted it with that the master (even if we didn't know about it till the very end) who was actively attempting to drive her to suicide the whole season.

In Spyfall part 2, 13 tells Ada and Noor that she has a problem with the Master wanting to kill her because, yeah... She'd like to Not die, thank you. It's kind of a joke, but it's also Not, really. 12 didn't suddenly wake up one morning with the feeling he'd rather not do that living thing again, the signs of his suidical ideation were Right There in Deep Breath... Every reason he gives Mr. Mechanical Man for why him staying alive is a useless idea applies equally to 12.

12 fought a long fight and he still only regenerated out of a last minute decision. And then 13.

She actually Wants to live. It's not a 'well... Might as well'. She Wants to live. She didn't want to die in Spyfall before the revalation, but at that point she's mostly just angry, she is then tested beyond anything anybody could cope with and by the time she makes it to the tardis in the timeless children, sending the humans away... She doesn't want to die, still.

She doesn't want to leave the fam, she doesn't want to blow the bomb, she doesn't want to make that cold and lonely walk to the matrix to the master, she wants to stay with the fam.

In this metaphor, the fam represent her urge to live and the urge to recover and the master represents the suicidal ideation. She doesn't Want to walk to her death, she only does because she thinks she has to. She wants to stay with the fam and Live, not to die with the master.

These are all Choices. The 12th doctor made his last minute, hail Mary choice to not die just to see what'd happen, i mean, Maybe it'd actually be Good? And that was the first step and after that it Did get better for the doctor... But then all that horror came back again. But the doctor reaffirmed their choice that they didn't want to die, over and over again even after being tested.

It wasn't Easy, no, but she made the choice to keep going again and again, because that's what you have to do. There are lots of reasons you could put to 13 not pressing the trigger in the timeless children, but i've always been fond of the simple 'she did not want to die' over anything else because i think it has the most narrative resonance.

From here, she's going to have to choose to keep living as The Doctor, it may not be choosing actively to die as an alternative, but she's going to have to keep the mantle of the doctor alive now, and not lose in in despair and trauma.

I actually kind of also think, if you want to take it less metaphorically here there's an argument for a kind of interpretation about the toxicity of our relationships in this arc, too. As the fam try their hardest to help her in her trauma in healthy and reasonable ways, it's juxtaposed with the doctor's very oldest friend trying his damned hardest to ruin her and see her (and himself) dead because He's hurt.

It's just. Interesting. I feel like 13's reluctance to die is a statement in regards to 12's arc. He wanted many things for his next regeneration, and she's honestly failing spectacularly on pretty much all counts, but she's also honouring the unspoken in that she's trying to Live in general... She was a last minute decision but it was still an active and conscious one, and That, at least, she honours.

12's last wish Wasn't really his speech to his future self, because his choice to regenerate was him making an active choice Against the suicidal ideation he's been carrying his whole life. It wasn't Passive for him like other regenerations that just happen because it was natural for them to, it was a Choice and that, That at least 13 continues to honour... Even if she can't quite manage the rest. She got the biggest part down.

[thomas-mvller]

Tag games x 283129

Hello everyone so uh lately i've started to be more active on my music sideblog which means i've been hearting stuff like crazy for the past couple of months aka all the things i've been tagged in has been buried under all that nonsense SO because i hate leaving things undone i thought on doing them all at once and tagging a bunch of people so they can get a little distraction by doing them (as in, not all of them but whichever they might want to do)

Again: you do not have to do all of them, not even one if you don't feel like doing so! there's a game for everyone so hey!

Tagging: @havertsz @foreverbayern @germanynts @sherlockisonfire @debushit @sadiiomane10 @miasanmuller @elishamanning @abcde-fc @bbjim @littletentaclemonster @tamtam-elizabeth @minimalloss @pearfight and whoever wants to do this! if you see it, consider yourself tagged >:))

Alright, here we go:

1) I was tagged by @/tamtam-elizabeth and @/sadiiomane10 to post a capture of my lockscreen, homescreen and last song i listened to. Thank you both <3

I used to be very annoying when it came to changing my lock/homescreen so now i just don’t do that often anymore (previous to that my homescreen was a pic of lfc winning ucl OBVIOUSLY) also i haven’t really been listening to music lately but i did have a depeche mode phase like two weeks ago and this was the song i replayed the most so hey!

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2) “Get to know me” tag

Tagged by the always thoughtful @/tamtam-elizabeth , thank you and i’m sorry for taking so long ;-; <3

Name: Cloud

Birthday: sometime in november

Zodiac Sign: scorpio

Height: 5′4′’ or 1.65 (last time i checked..... which was like seven years ago)

Hobbies: lately it has been sewing facemasks 😂 that aside i like watching movies, random videos on yt, baking and crafting sometimes

Favorite colors: black, red and teal

Favorite Book: don’t think i have one :o

Last Song Listened to: barrel of a gun by depeche mode

Last Movie Watched: currently watching prince of egypt. if that doesn’t count then ben hur 😂

Inspiration or Muse: i really don’t know what to say here 😂

Dream Job: i still haven’t given up to my goal but at this point i just want a job that gives me stability and zero worries

Reason Behind my URL: Thomas Müller (German pronunciation: [ˈtoːmas ˈmʏlɐ]; born 13 September 1989) is a German professional footballer who plays for Bundesliga club Bayern Munich. A versatile player, Müller plays as a midfielde- okay no in all seriousness yess this url is bc of a football player 😂

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3) Ten songs playlist tag

Tagged by the joy that is @/foreverbayern and the always sweetest @/havertsz . thank youuuuu <3

Rules: We’re snooping through your playlist. Put your entire music library on shuffle and list the first 10 songs and then choose 10 victims.

Some months ago I made the mistake of transfering the songs i had in my old computer to my current laptop and there are some stuff that just........ should not be acknowledged so i can’t do shuffle HOWEVER i will choose ten random songs i’ve listened to/discovered this year (technically speaking is the same) so here it is:

art-i-ficial by x-ray spex

sunny afternoon by the kinks

desire lines by lush

paper cuts by incubus

pure love by hayley williams

spirit by bauhaus

no one knows by screaming trees

let’s love by suho

all we need is a dream by cheap trick

cosmonauts by fiona apple

bonus: you’re so close by peter murphy (god i adore this song)

I wouldn’t be surprised if these aren’t your cup of tea tbh 😂

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4) “Core aesthetic” tag

Tagged by @/havertsz - i’m sorry for the delay ;-; and thank you <3

rules: search your name + "core aesthetic" on pinterest, get a moodboard & select a few photos that come up

i can’t really use pinterest so i googled it instead, as you might’ve guessed this is what i got 😂

ps: i’ve been informed not to use pinterest so if you wish follow this post’s indications

ah this is so pretty, i loved doing this!

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5) 

Tagged by @/germanynts @/havertsz and @/elishamanning to do this tag, thank you all <3

rules: describe yourself with pictures you already have saved. no downloading or searching for new ones. then tag 10 people.

if you want further explanations for each pic... ask ahead 😂

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6) “bold what applies” tag

Tagged by the always enJoyable @/foreverbayern, thank yoooou <3

rules: bold what applies to you and tag a bunch of people

- Appearance

I am over 5’5 // I wear glasses/contacts // I have blonde hair // I prefer loose clothing over tight clothing // I have one or more piercings (had three...) // I have at least one tattoo // I have blue eyes // I have dyed or highlighted my hair // I have gotten plastic surgery // I have or had braces // I sunburn easily // I have freckles // I paint my nails // I typically wear makeup // I don’t often smile // I am pleased with how I look  // I prefer Nike to Adidas // I wear baseball caps backwards

- Hobbies and interests

I play a sport // I can play an instrument // I am artistic // I know more than one language // I have won a trophy in some sort of competition // I can cook or bake without a recipe // I know how to swim // I enjoy writing // I can do origami // I prefer movies to tv shows // I can execute a perfect somersault // I enjoy singing // I could survive in the wild on my own // I have read a new book series this year // I enjoy spending time with my friends // I travel during school or work breaks // I can do a handstand

Relationships

I am in a relationship // I have been single for over a year // I have a crush  // I have a best friend I have known for ten years // my parents are together // I have hooked up with my best friend // I am adopted // My crush has confessed to me // I have a long-distance relationship // I am an only child // I give advice to my friends // I have made an online friend // I met up with someone I have met online

- Aesthetic

I have heard the ocean in a conch shell // I have watched the sunrise // I enjoy rainy days // I have slept under the stars // I meditate outside // the sound of chirping calms me // I enjoy the smell of the beach // I know what snow tastes like // I listen to music to fall asleep (i did that for a long time and i sicnerely don’t recommend it) // I enjoy thunderstorms // I enjoy cloud watching // I have attended a bonfire (quick story time: one time when i was 12 my friends and i sneaked into our seniors’ school anniversary activities and they lit this huge bonfire near the football field, it was nuts) // I pay close attention to colours // I find mystery in the ocean (spoopy shit) // I enjoy hiking on nature paths // Autumn is my favourite season

- Miscellaneous

I can fall asleep in moving vehicles // I am the mom friend // I live by a certain quote(s) // I like the smell of sharpies // I am involved in extracurricular activities // I enjoy Mexican food // I can drive a stick-shift // I believe in true love // I make up scenarios to fall asleep // I sing in the shower // I wish I lived in a video game // I have a canopy above my bed // I am multiracial // I am a redhead // I own at least 3 dogs

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my god this is getting embarassing i had stuff long due ;-;

7) 

Tagged by @/tamtam-elizabeth. think you for thanking on me when doing tag games, i mean it :-: <3

How old are you?: 24

Surgeries?: one

Tattoos?: none yet ://

Ever hit a deer?: i have never seen one so... no 😂

Sang karaoke?: yeah... years ago 😂

Ice skated?: nope

Ridden a motorcycle?: had the chance but nope

Ridden in an ambulance?: nope

Skipped school?: a handful of times

Stayed in a hospital?: for a few hours

Broken bones?: nope

Last phone call?: i haven’t called anyone in ages 😂

Last text from?: my mom

Pepsi or coke?: coke but i don’t mind having pepsi

Favorite pie?: haven’t had one

Favorite pizza?: chorizo + corn + red pepper

Favorite season?: autumn

Received a ticket?: don’t even know how to drive

Favorite color?: black, red and teal

Sunset or sunrise?: both!

Favorite Christmas song?: don’t think i have one, maybe universe by exo?

Cupcakes or cookies?: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh good q, cookies?

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8) “find your match” tag game

Tagged by @/tamtam-elizabeth, you’re allowed to punch me in the face at this point

Rules:

Take the test

Reblog this post with what type you got

Tag 7 mutuals to do the same!

I got the Dreamer and my ideal partner would be The Innovator ?)

Seek out opportunities to collaborate with INNOVATOR types, who combine your lofty idealism with a focus on pragmatic solutions. The grounding energy of the INNOVATOR can inspire you to apply your imagination to real-world change.

that’s deep fam 😂 but okay!

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9) “get to know me tag”

Tagged by: @/littletentaclemonster . thank you and sorry for the delay ;-; <3

nickname: cloud zodiac: scorpio height: 5′4″ / 1.65 last movie I saw: can you believe i managed to watch another thing while making this? anyway it was The celluloid closet last thing I googled: block site extension favorite musician: as of right now? depeche mode song stuck in my head: you’re so close by peter murphy other blogs: @/brltpop and @/s-lay-ing amount of sleep: as long as i can get (usually 7 or 8) lucky numbers: don’t think i have one dream job: whatever gives me stability what am I wearing: pajamas  favorite food: chinese, mexican and italian language: which ones do i know? spanish and english somewhat. i want to learn japanese and german :c can I play an instrument: nope favorite song: atm is YOU’RE SO CLOSE (8) random fact: my nails usually grow sort of square except for my thumb and index fingers, they grow round for whatever reason describe yourself in aesthetic things: ?????????? idk man, messy room? loose clothes? football? cd’s on a shelf, posters on the walls ?????

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MY GOD WHY AM I LIKE THIS????????? 

10)

Tagged by @/littletentaclemonster you too can punch me in the face

Rules: Bold the statements that apply to you, italicize your aspirations, then tag nine people.

AIR: I have small hands • I love the night sky • I watch small animals and birds when I pass them by • I drink herbal tea • I wake to see dawn • The smell of dust is comforting • I’m valued for being wise • I prefer books to music • I meditate • I find joy in learning new truths from the world around me

FIRE: I don’t have straight hair • I like to wear ripped jeans • I play an organized sport  • I love dogs • I am not afraid of adventure • I love to talk to strangers • I always try new foods • I enjoy road trips • Summer is my favorite season • My radio is always playing

WATER: I wear bracelets on my wrists • I love the bustle of the city • I have more than one set of piercings • I read poetry • I love the sound of a thunderstorm • I want to travel the world • I sleep past midday most days • I love dimly lit diners and fluorescent signs • I rewatch kids’ shows out of nostalgia • I see emotions in colors not words

EARTH: I wear glasses/contacts • I enjoy doing the laundry • I am a vegetarian • I have an excellent sense of time • My humor is very cheerful • I am a valued advisor to my friends • I believe in true love • I love the chill of mountain air • I’m always listening to music • I am highly trusted by the people in my life

AETHER: I go without makeup in my daily life • I make my own artwork • I keep on track of my tasks and time • I always know true north • I see beauty in everything (sort of) • I can always smell flowers • I smile at everyone I pass by • I always fear history repeating itself • I have recovered from a mental disorder • I can love unconditionally

Water an aether huh, i don’t know what to do with this information 😂

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if you ask me i would very much appreciate it if you do the songs playlist tag bc i need recommendations thanks. Also massive apologies to the ones that were due since last year I had them in my drafts i swear!

Stay safe everyone :D

[dr-mizmix]

My sunshine(part 1/?)

Many people have already written about this but I couldn't help it. This fic follows the headcanon in which Five kills Dave.

TRIGGER WARINGS

warzone/mental breakdown

Word count: 1500+

13+

Enjoy!

“It's just another name, it's just another mission” Five never thought about who he had to eliminate. It wasn't worth the time thinking about their lives and getting involved in an emotional level. That would be irrational and compromise the mission. It didn't matter if they were innocent, guilty, men, women or children Five just wanted to get the job done so he could move forward to the next one until the day he finished his equations or his contract whatever came first.

“Eliminate Dave Katz at all costs”

As soon as Five read the name, it made him wonder “Huh, this is weird. I wonder what this soldier soldier must have done for the temp comision to send me instead of letting him die at warzone.” He then looked to Dolores who remained motionless “............” Five then tried to act unbiased “You are right Dolores, that's none of ours business," he read again the name and location “we should get going.”

After that he packed for his unusual destination, even for a time traveling hitman like himself 1968 Vietnam.

While Five was onto his grim mission Dave Katz, his future victim, was having a great time with another time traveler who happened to be a Hargreeves too, but whose plans of what to do with him couldn't be more different.  

At the disco Klaus was killing it the dance floor when discretely he winks Dave who has been watching him from the distance. He takes this gesture as a signal and starts to slowly approach him while dancing “Haha, you have some nice moves” Klaus decided to cautiously flirt with him trying to see where he could go “Really? I could teach you some of them if you wanna” Dave followed Klaus’ game “Oh, and how much would it be for the lessons?” he wished this was 2019 and not 1968 “Well, I would usually charge a lot to know the secrets of my moves.” Dave kept getting closer to him “Oh really?” he said with a playful smile “Yeah but because you are obviously desperate I'll make you a deal. I will lower my price to just one shot of whatever it is your favorite drink.” he knew that if he said to anyone else he could get in trouble. But not to Dave “Then it's settled. Bartender two shots of whiskey please! My treat.” After that they danced together all evening with the excuse of teaching each other dance moves.

“Klaus” Dave called him in a really low tone but he caught his attention “Follow me” They went together to a secluded area. “Are we allowed to be here?” Klaus tried being cautious but Dave made his thoughts disappear in less than a second “What, what are we?” Klaus didn't know how to answer. “I don't know, what am I to you?” Dave thought for a moment “I feel like I can trust you with my life, I would say that you are my friend but that would be lying to myself” Klaus closed his eyes “Keep going” Dave closed his eyes too “You are the most kind,wonderful, brave and handsome person that I've ever met” Dave felt like his heart was about to to leave his body, when Klaus wrapped his arms around him “You are very wrong, because you are the most handsome, strong, brave and vulnerable person I've ever met and you clearly know yourself” Dave got as close as he could to Klaus and when their lips were almost touching he whispered “May I?” to which Klaus responded “Yes you can” They shared a long kiss, when they separated Dave was incredibly blushed “Did I do it wrong?” Klaus giggled and started playing with Dave's hair “No! Why would you say that” Dave looked kind of embarrassed “I'm kind of new to this thing” Klaus then gently grabbed his face “Don't worry, we can do whatever you want” Dave hugged him and a slow song started playing “I've, I've never danced to anything like this before” Klaus smiled and placed their hands on the position for a slow dance. “Hey remember I told you I'd teach you how to dance” Dave shaked his head smiling and they continued dancing through the whole night.

Several months have passed since the night Dave and Klaus shared their first kiss. Since then they've been secretly dating. So far no one noticed anything more than them being really good friends. That or they prefer to ignore it. They even got themselves some matching tattoos which Dave chose. In their way to the front, at the bus, Dave seemed distant “Today it's going to be tough” Klaus puts his arm around him “You always say that, and look at us! We only get so emotionally scarred for life!” He tried to joke around it to see if Dave would relax a bit “Right, right” Klaus started to get worried “Are you ok?" “Well It's just that I heard that my squad is going for the front line this time and I I…”Dave couldn't continue. There was a pause “Is that all?Then I will be going with you”Dave shaked his head with a sad smile “Come on Klaus you know that we can't do that. We are in different squads” Klaus though for a moment “Well then tell someone from your squad that today is their lucky day because I'm not letting you go alone.” Dave laughed “You are going to make some lucky bastard very happy”

Five loaded his trusty rifle and waited for the perfect moment when nobody would notice him. It was weird to witness all those people dying in front of him but Five had to constantly remind himself that it was none of his business. Chaos arises in the trenches and Five decided to shoot his target, knowing help wouldn't come. He activated the trigger and the job was done. A man starts screaming with a somewhat familiar voice. Five feelt startled by it and decided to take a closer look. “Something feels wrong”

Meanwhile the in the trenches Klaus was screaming for help “Medic! Medic!” He held Dave in his arms “You're going to ok Dave, you'll get through this” Dave placed his hands behind Klaus head “I'll be ok Klaus I know I'll be” Klaus cried even harder “Stay with me Dave please, I'll take you with me” Dave closed his eyes “Sing for me” Klaus couldn't think of any song until words started flowing almost automatically from his mouth “You are my sunshine, my only sunshine…” Dave grabbed his hand “You make me happy when skies are gray…” Klaus tightened his grip “You'll never know dear how much I love you…” Dave's hand relaxed a bit “Please don't take” Dave opened his eyes “my sunshine” they both smiled “I love you” Dave lost all his grip “Away… ” Klaus looked at Dave, he didn't move “Dave? Dave! Medic! Goddammit I need a need a goddamm medic!”. As he realized that help wouldn't arrive, he looked Dave's lifeless body and laid on it crying. “He's dead. He's dead” his mumbling kept going until it became unintelligible.

Dolores in his back as always stayed silent. “Is just the screaming, he shouldn't have found him so fast. We are in the middle of warzone.” He made a pause to get Dolores perspective. “It's just” he squinted his eyes in an attempt to see the man's forearm, Five sighed as he saw the man wore long sleeves and looked back at Dolores “You are right Dolores, I have no family anymore” He closed his eyes trying to forget the familiar pitch. “What would they be doing here anyway?”He picked up his stuff and left as he never had been there. He was now awaiting for his next assignment.

“Eliminate President Kennedy at all costs”

When Five found himself asking “is it worth it? Is it worth killing l so many people to go back knowing that the future is doomed?” He remembered Vanya and the rest of his siblings and found a reason to keep living.

But this was not the moment to think about his siblings, this was a moment of action.

As Five used his briefcase for the last time he thought of his siblings, and while it was kind of hard to admit, he started questioning if they would accept him. They only knew him for 13 years and he is now 58. What is he going to tell them? He'd been alone for 40 years and now the feeling of being able to come back to his family terrifies him. But it didn't matter now, the apocalypse doesn't wait for anybody.

He arrived at his destination, there he started apply his equations to time travel back his family. He'll show Dolores she's wrong. He knew his arrival would probably cause a huge anomaly so he expected his family waiting for him. What he didn't expect was that one screaming man from his last mission in Vietnam. The first face he saw “Klaus” It suddenly became clear. He got distracted over that fact. So much so that his body started morphing into his 13 years old self.He finally went through it.

“Shit”

I will continue this fic in the near future so stay tuned!