#i'm trying to multitask
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was reminded that people get riled up about this the way they get riled up about pineapple on pizza and honestly, as a knowledge org nerd, it is weird and unnecessary 😌
#like I do think it's annoying to be all haughty about 'um people are only buying books for the aesthetic' cuz usually they are not#and also cuz like... look. I as a writer do not give a fuck if someone wants to buy a book for aesthetic purposes. boost those sales#but MORE IMPORTANTLY SOME PEOPLE DO THINK IN SUCH A WAY THAT THIS IS A USEFUL METRIC FOR ORGANIZING.#ME FOR INSTANCE.#(I do not organize by color cuz my spouse is not one of those people but I would if I was just organizing for me)#trying to insist that a method of organizing can't possibly be useful if it doesn't work for you personally is clown behavior.#trick meme cuz you can't change my mind on this but that's cuz I'm CORRECT.#god the people who are like 'um if you care about how your books are organized or the ~aesthetic~ you don't actually like books'#drive me NUTS#sorry if you can't care about two things at once but some of us are perfectly capable of multitasking. good lord.
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Monica is bringing a great energy. Can't wait to hear her on Wing It, and I'd love to see her guest again!
#shoot from the hip#i'm going to have to rewatch though#i'm trying to multitask by watching both sfth and monday night quizzes at the same time...#also...welcome to the house of fun#people have said it before...but there really is a difference between the old school improv-ers and slightly younger ones#suki is great but you can see that people even like...10 years younger stretch themselves much more
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#ilkka villi#ilkkavilliedit#invisible heroes#*#**#mk.op#mk.edit#mk.gifs#director wake fodder#i have an idea tomorrow i'm gonna try for the screen recording thing but i worry it'll crap out if i'm not around too#the problem is i can't multitask while i screen record cause it somehow still records both my monitors#even when i select just part of the screen#hashtag gif maker problems lol#hell might be faster if i get the blu ray if it's available and rip it
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i need to replay sumo again i need that same comfort that game provided me when i was 16 again
#bwark#i still plan on playing alongside my anipoke rewatch but i might make an exception to alola to play it out of order since the sm anime is#for sure i definitely know i'm watch sub on. that may extend to jn and hz as well but it's definitely for sm and i can't multitask lol#either that or use my sm rewatch to MAYBE PERHAPS give usum another chance#idk it's been 7 years so my memory on it isn't as fresh and i got so annoyed with it i didn't even beat the post game story initially#so if im gonna be a hater about it i want to be accurate. or my opinions of it can improve who knows#i hated age of calamity when it came out in 2020 and while i still have some problems with it i did enjoy revisiting it last year a lot more#so i'm open to changing my opinion who knows. i'll try being more fair and objective than letting my angry 17 year old self possess me again#tldr i just want to replay sm now regardless of what i do after#i should still finish replaying blue first though i still haven't done that lol
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So freaking pissed off that there are about 5000 different things I want to gif at the moment, but no energy whatsoever to do that. (>.<)
I have time. Which should be perfect. Just no... motivation to do any of that, you know? It annoys me.
#personal#i'm really sorry for those who only followed me for my gifs and haven't seen me post anything in ages#especially certain kinds of gifs#i suppose it could be easier if i was only into one fandom. or ship at a time. or something like that#but i'm not *sighs*#i'm trying to multitask and think about different fandoms i could be doing this for instead but#none just feels right atm#except one ship in one fandom maybe but even that is a rareship so sighs#anyway
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my ex is taking care of our kid for a whooole 24 hours for once so that i can go to a local show this evening, but now i'm like. wrow. 24 hour vacation. what if i DIDNT go to the show and just rested for a full day instead, i never get to do that,
#i kept trying to get her to have our kid over for an evening earlier in the week but they kept being like ehh idk i have things to do....#🙄🙄🙄#we all have things to do ur not special#it may look like i'm on tumblr 24/7 but that's bc i'm on childcare duty 24/7 and if i don't multitask that i'll whither away from understim#sigh anyway i know if i go to the show i'll enjoy it and i'll be like 'omg this is so nice why dont i do this more often'#so i should rly go. since the childcare stars have aligned#siiiiigh#im just like yes it's a chappel roan themed drag show but is siffrin there? i dont think so#ill just imagine him tho ^^ i love the drag au that exists only in my head#silverstarschat#'
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school admin: requires us to do attendance 5 ways during homeroom and only gives us 10 minutes to do it
also school admin: why didn't y'all pay attention to announcements?
#like i'M TRYIN TO DO ATTENDANCD 738974024 WAYS#I CAN'T MULTITASK THIS MUCH#send me an email jfiosdjhreoi#if i'm scrambling trying to do attendance FIVE WAYS when every other school only does ONE way#IM NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO FOCUS ON ANNOUNCEMENTS TOO
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do i play dress to impress, scroll tumblr, or read a 135k word spirk fanfic based on the 2009 movie? difficult choices
#star trek the original series#tos spirk#I'm probably gonna try to multitask and make some bad fits in dti
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Hello Jay, I would like to hear your headcanons about Tom and his mom 👀👀👀 Go on, speak into the mic 🎤
AAA HI NEIL I'M SO GLAD YOU ASKED
Taps mic 🎤 ahem
Buckle in cause this got absurdly long I did not expect to get this long omll
So I guess I'll begin when he was younger,, when his mother and father first got married they were just going into their 30s, and while weren't actually trying for a kid they did end up having one: Tom
Barbara (Tom's mom) was ecstatic at having a kid whereas Peter (Tom's dad) was terrified, he knows he has anger issues and is very aware of how he's gotten easily frustrated with children in the past and doesn't want to get angry towards his soon to be son (though Barbs has been a dear with helping him and his anger, truly he'd be in jail by now if not for her)
Fast forward a bit, Tom's born and while Peter isn't magically cured of any anger issues, Tom is just the sweetest little guy and he, genuinely throughout his fatherhood, has not once gotten angry at his son. Gotten angry a good few things, but his son and wife weren't in that list
Tom is also born completely nonverbal (this is a little reference to how 2004 he's drawn without a mouth,,, I know that all the characters are at this time because mmm animation but in most fanart of 2004 only Tom is the one kept without a mouth because that and his one eye gives him creechur vibes I love it so I incorporated it like this) due to his autism, and he did get formally diagnosed early on due to this
It's a bit of a struggle trying to figure out what he's saying but he's a quick learner for how to read and write so if he can't get what he's trying to say through hand motions or actions he'll go and write it down (at least when he gets around 5yo, the years before were hard and they had to learn a weird, Tom version of sign language,, to clarify not actual sign language just learning what motions of his mean what)
One interaction I think about a lot with Tom and his mother is in Tom's youth when he's, maybe, 4? And he sees his mom shave her hair for the first time. Tom didn't like the sudden change as she looked like a different person and was having trouble understanding why it was gone
It took Barb a while to fully understand what he meant, why he was crying and whatnot, but finally able to sit him down in her lap he started making a lot of motions towards his own hair and then Barb's, and the interaction goes something like this:
"Are you talking about my hair?" Barbara quietly concerns, gesturing to her now bald head.
Tom made small grunts with wide eyes, rocking in his mother's lap incessantly.
"Okay, okay," She nodded holding her son's hand gently in her own- less so holding and more resting them in her own. "It's gone, baby."
Tom didn't seem to like that answer, shaking his head no with his hand reaching up to grab and tug at his his in distress. His eyes were screwed shut, why would his mom do that? But Barbara was quick to respond with carefully holding her son's hands again, their fingers interlaced as he squeezed on her hands instead in his temper.
"You don't like that it's gone?" She tilted her head to the side, bringing Tom's hands away from his face and towards her chest.
He shook his head no with an upset grunt, swinging his hands (and by proxy his mother's) side to side to drive the point further.
"Ohh,, pumpkin," Barbara gave Tom a sad smile, resting their hands in her lap as she gave him a small, reassuring squeeze.
"It’ll be alright-”
Tom hated that answer more, giving a frustrated noise as his eyes started welling with tears.
“Honey,” Barbara frowned at the tears coming out of her child’s eyes, it hurt to see him so upset, gently running her thumb along his cheeks to swipe them away. “I’m still mama, I’m still you mom.”
She led Tom’s hand over her heart, letting him feel the steady beating of it. The constant and steady pattern of thumping seemed to entrance him for a moment until his mild rocking and distressed noises slowly came to a halt.
“See? It’s still me, baby.” She cooed, running her thumb along the back of her son’s hand. “My hair is gone, but I’m here.”
“Sometimes, in life,” Barbara began, setting Tom’s hands down in his lap again now that he was calmer. “things change, and we can’t control it. Like my hair, you couldn’t control that, could you?”
Tom looked up from watching his hand feel the steady movement of her heart pumping, looking up at his mother’s face. He still looked displeased and upset, but less so, even going as far as to reach for where her hair used to be, trying to grab at the air around her head like it was still there. Fruitless.
She held his hand again, pressing it against her cheek with a broad smile, one she gave him often. He couldn’t keep his resentment for long, giving his own goofy smile back with a giggle. The way her gap tooth showed when she smiled that big was forever burned into his memory, only disappearing from her face so that she could kiss the palm of her son’s hand.
Tom shook his head, frowning at the thought but keeping a wide eyed expression to his mother as she continued her lesson. She smiled to him once again.
“Well, that happens a lot in life.” She sighed, cupping Tom’s cheek in her hand. “And no one likes it, you’re not alone for thinking that. But what you can control is how you deal with the change. Like how you showed me how upset you were, so now we’re talking about it. Do you feel better about it now?”
Tom took a moment, eyes casted down as he thought on it. He gave a small nod as he looked back up at her.
“Good.” She beamed. “And from now on, I’ll do my best to let you know beforehand when I make a change like that, alright?” She kissed Tom’s forehead, causing the child to give a small giggle. That was her favorite noise.
Now, Tom was always a Mama's Boy (not in a derogatory way, he just loved his mom a whole hell of a lot) but even moreso after his father died. They both were grieving and so it caused them to cling closer together because of it, to the point that had it not been for his friend (at the time only Matt, but later Edd too as this was before Tord was introduced to the friend group) he probably would've completely self isolated
They do a ton of things together as Tom gets over and they both eventually heal from Peter's death, baking, sewing, shopping, watch movies, anything they can do when they have the chance to hang out together
They were so close in fact that Barbara was genuinely the first person he came out to for being nonbinary (He/They pronoun user :) ) and of course she loved him unconditionally, but he didn't even tell Matt, Edd or Tord (now in Highschool and having been introduced to delinquent) that yet
However, later in his highschool years, around late Junior year (11th grade) or early Senior year (12th grade) of highschool his mother dies as well. Not from a freak bear with a gun attack though, instead from Pneumonia, which is something she tends to get a lot and always had in her youth, and while it usually isn't fatal and there is treatment and whatnot and she definitely took as much as help as she could, this time just hit different it seemed.
This really fucked with Tom during some of his most important years of his life and caused him to go into a BIG depressive episode for a long long time
Side note that I guess also kinda applies: Had it not been for Tord being just as stubborn of a jackass as Tom, he would've completely self isolated. Edd and Matt helped a lot in his youth but he also had his mom to encourage him, but now with his immediate family all gone he didn't see much of a reason to interact with people. And where Edd and Matt lack in persuasion, Tord more than makes up for in the lack of giving a fuck and would literally drag Tom outside even if he was kicking and screaming. This is mostly because Tord is second only to Tom himself in how durable he is, like a brick shithouse (built like one, too) and not afraid to make Tom hate him if it meant getting him better in the long run (a running theme I have for their relationship :) they're less so "GRR I HATE YOU I HOPE YOU DIE /GEN" and more of like have this weird understanding with eachother where like "I'll literally kill you if you touch me but I'd kill anyone you touched you" type beat, unafraid to get the other to hate them for the greater good because they have the understanding that they wouldn't do something so wildly stupid for no reason. Yes that plays into The End and the future events of WTFuture)
I love them so much oh my god you have zero idea
Anyway, TL;DR
Tom and his mom are extremely close and helped each other get through the worst of times while Tom continues to learn the lesson of "everything changes, it's out of your control, and you can only control how you proceed with it"
#jay talk#jay answers#also i just wanted to add: the reason Tom's mom is bald has nothing to do with any sort of illness or genetic disorder#she just was like “fuck it” and decided she wanted to shave it off#i know that sounds weird but i try to incorporate it in the way she dresses too#i chose this because one: [insert bowling ball joke here]#and two: to show her openness as a character and that's got nothing to obscure who she is#not wearing layers. usually not wearing long sleeves unless it's cold. same thing with pants and they're usually skinny if she does#character design is my passion and psychoanalysis is my game I'm sorry you have to deal with it lol#i really need to draw her more i love Mrs. Barbara Inkwell#and thank you Neil for asking this#I'm bursting at the seams /pos#and I'm trying to get back into the writer grind 💪💪 so this helps lol#sorry it took me so long to respond to this ask lol got my creative mojo back so I'm grabbing it by the reigns and multitasking#to the best of my ability without burning myself out that is#i guess i'll add the ew tags cause this is like a headcanon rant so#eddsworld#ew#ew tom#tom#ew tom's mom#tom's mom#ew oc ?#barabara#barbara inkwell#peter was mentioned#fun fact: he took barb's last name cause he despised his own last name :)#also her name's inkwell and that's sick as fuck#eddsworld headcanons
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do NOT watch a show and talk with me at the same time, I will NOT hear you
#and then you have to repeat yourself 5 times until I hear what you're trying to say#like its actually crazy#the tv show could be so boring and not my thing at all#but i'm drawn to it like a moth is to light#ipad kid ahh behaviour fr#it's lowkey embarrassing#multitasking ain't my thing at all#the voices are speaking
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I took today and tomorrow off simply because I've been putting too many hours into work and wanted some time to rest...
And I'm fucking bored to shit. It's really great that my work is my passion, but I absolutely need to find other hobbies outside of reading and working out. I am seriously questioning taking my PTO day back tomorrow and just heading into the office.
That or prepping my class content for next semester (adjunct). I mean, I worked on two more LinkedIn learning courses today just to keep my mind going.
A complete juxtaposition, really, from my younger days where I couldn't fathom being a quarter as productive on a regular basis. The pendulum has totally over corrected. My coping mechanism to deal with the ADHD and Anxiety became to just never stop being productive, and it is sending me to an early death.
#ramble ramble ramble#adhd#anxiety#no but fr tho I need to get this shit under control before I become a lifeless blob#like at least my job is interesting af so I'm not boring to talk to#but really who wants to talk about work all damn day? no one#so I gotta get a hobby#used to be writing#but that's fallen to the wayside and again I need something that isn't super productive#and i will just turn fictional writing into working on another paper so I can't do that#watching movies and tv were good but I have the adhd curse of multitasking (which is how I've been doing these LinkedIn courses)#so I don't even enjoy the movie at that point#working out is great but a girl can only go so hard before the fatigue kicks in#I could go outside more on hikes but again 1. fatigue#and 2. I'm currently trying to figure out my allergy issues w. my doctor so I am avoiding outside until I can stop dying immediately#tried knitting and crocheting. can't do it. embroidery also no bueno
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I need to get medicated again I need to organize my thoughts into coherence so I can post better. This is a lie I'll eat rocks before going back on anything for my adhd but it's the thought that thinks
#.txt#It doesn't help I'm trying to type while also warching (< really funny typo so I'll leave it) drrr. Multitasker
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Raise your hands if you were a teenager and Kilala Princess ruined your life for a little while. Just a short while. Woo. Icons. Also snacks.
#mun on fire#yeah i'm trying desperately to clean up sneezy's icons while doing merryweather#extreme multitasking while in pain yippee
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#so i finished my 4 out of 4th 12 hour shift in a row last night and i'm literally so exhausted and i was glitching mid simple tasks 🤡✌️#my coworker asked to change shifts so he could have that one specific day as off#and he managed to do some very critical mistakes in his 4 days prior and that's considering his gf is often with him there#and i was the one suffering the consequences even if it's literally not my fault#ever since i've got this job i've been fixing so many mistakes of his i kept wondering who's the newbie here??#like i try to leave my shift as good as possible i clean everything check everything and do all my duties#and when i come here after his shifts it's.. a fucktonne of work mistakes and literal dirt like dude!!!#4 shifts in a row never again man never again i am so tired my brain is nerfed and i can only rest for 1 day today because tomorrow i'm#going to a doc;#my social battery is not just dead it's nonexistent at this point#i just want to lay in bed and not be percieved or interacted with for at least the same amount of days 😫#i really thought i could take a socially demanding and rather multitasking job without it taking hugest toll on my mental state huh???#and i had such a bad sleep too i had a very graphic and sickening nightmare which woke me up 2 hours after i fell asleep#and then i woke 2 more times after that and i feel so exhausted and not rested at all and so fatigued i can't even do anything#man for me my sleep being interrupted is the worst like i function better if i have a smaller amount of sleep but it's uninterrupted#than longer in hours but it gets interrupted and i wake up even once#sorry i come here once in few days vent post and then dissapearvckfkv 😭 i miss tumblr but have no energy currently to even rb anything 🥲#tbd
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hey look turns out when you stop complaining and actually Do The Thing it's not that hard
#that being said I'm never drawing Hans again unless art gods bless me with some clever ideas#sludge life#sludge life hans#yes the background is traced im a v lazy bastard#speaking of lazy bastard uhh yeah thats me im never drawing stuff with backgrounds again#halfbodies staring off to the side my beloved im lazy#the only reason i actually finished it this fast was from the adrenaline high i had after playing cult of the lamb#im not insane im just bad at the game and beating heket hitless is an accomplishment for me ok#the tag rant would be longer but im trying to multitask too hard and my brain is frying bweh ok shutting up#my art
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it's so frustrating when i have an outline for a fic that i'm really excited about but for some reason, my mind won't cooperate when i actually try to write the scenes
#whyyyy????#once i have the idea the words should just be there#it's homophobic that my fics don't write themselves :/#i'm really feeling that love/hate relationship with writing#luckily i have enough ideas that i can mostly hop around to whatever i'm inspired enough to write in the moment#but i really want to finish this lottielee fic before lottielee weekend#it doesn't look like that'll happen tho :(#trying to write for a new ship is surprisingly hard after months of being mostly about jackieshauna#i'm too used to their dynamic and it's been hard to figure out how to flesh out a new one#maybe once i finish you should have been mine it'll be easier#i'm not as good at multitasking as i thought :/
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