#i'm trying to be more present here | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

forbelobog · 1 year ago

Text

starter call?

#i'm trying to be more present here #but i've been feeling discouraged #maybe this will help

13 notes · View notes

bilaudad · 11 months ago

Text

wing stuff!

experimenting with a more cartoon style, idk what i'm doing loll

tagging: @goodomensafterdark <3

2K notes · View notes

northstarscowboyhat · 1 month ago

Text

Corn picking day.

#undertale yellow #uty #lucky clover au #clover uty #starlo uty #orion uty #ceroba uty #frisk ut #flowey ut #the cowboy hat draws #Just barely got out before the Tomorrow (technically today in my time zone)#Sorry this is a mile long post. I really ought to invest in smaller comics LOL #Uh so! This was to show a bit more of Flowey's role in this AU #Trying to bridge the writing between him in UTY/UT so he's a bit more involved and proactive here #The little devil on Frisk's shoulder. Eventually one of these humans will make it to the castle to get Flowey his souls right?#Obviously there are some inaccuracies or information that contradicts what happens in UT #But that kind of comes with the territory of bridging a canon game and a fanon prequel that also takes liberties with the plot and lore LOL #Hopefully I'm telling enough of a compelling story to make up for it!#Tried to practice grayscale again and fiddled with some paneling practice. Definitely could've pushed it more but it was good practice!#Still debating on how best I want to present this comics so you know LOL #Important detail to me specifically; Ceroba is Frisk's favorite no contest. Starlo is only a little jealous #Other important detail to me: Matching Sunnyside overalls. Of course Crestina made a pair for Clover <3 #Other lore tidbits but hopefully they're noticeable on their own!#Glad I could push this comic out before you know what tomorrow LOL

395 notes · View notes

black-and-yellow · 4 months ago

Text

Acid Rain

#I'm in my 'actually liking Aizawa' phase #I'm trying to work back in some of Yamada's actual features from how he's drawn in the manga #just to make him more recognizable #I've said it before (I think) and I'll say it again. Team Up Missions has the best art style of all the bnha manga series #sorry Vigilantes I love you but TUM Mic is on a whole other level #The main series has some really good panels of him especially in the later chapters (eg the one of him in his suit at the graduation)#(which I had to use as a reference to get his mouth right here)#but Team Up Missions is consistently good and I love the linework #anyway nobody remind me how Aizawa treats Mic and Midnight in the actual series or else I'll stop liking him again #I just got him in Ultra Rumble #bnha #mha #villain!mic #loudspeaker au #shouta aizawa #eraserhead #hizashi yamada #present mic #bnha au #the lack of nostrils is still jarring to me

276 notes · View notes

magicalgirl6 · 4 months ago

Text

magical girl transformation sequences are about being your truest self, your strongest self, being euphoric, being happy. They're representative of how it feels to transform, how it feels to be a magical girl. They're fun, they're joyful, they're pretty AND YES ☝️ they are trans

#I'm a cis girl so maybe I shouldn't be the one to say this tbh #but I mean I'm not the first to have said it #the euphoria that comes from transformation. girly outfits that represent these girls at their most powerful and beautiful and true selves #not that all magical girls are girls or that all trans women need to be girly please do not do a piss on the poor thing with my post #gender is complicated and confusing and I'm not here to put people in boxes #I'm just here to appreciate potential allegories and queer readings yaaay #I think the mahou shoujo genre is a great place to explore gender #because yes it is pretty inherently girly but that itself opens the door to having conversations #about gender and presentation and identity #what does it mean to be a magical girl? do you have to be a girl? do you have to be feminine? is that where you find your strength?#is that who you want to be?#feel free to add onto my post if you've got more thoughts! as I said I'm cis so I might not have as great of an understanding #I just like to ramble :p not trying to talk over anyone and I apologize if it comes across that way

31 notes · View notes

vaguely-concerned · 1 month ago

Text

there's a self-help/mental health adjacent post that's going around and it seems to be really helpful for a lot of people which is very good. I also personally hate it with all my fucking heart

#it's the anhedonia one btw lmao #if i. have to be exposed to one more goddamn cbt-ass advice post in my life. I will start tearing throats out with my teeth #and I will have earned the right to because I've been through the fucking TRENCHES over the years man #I think it's the appeal to urgency at the end however ruefully humorously packaged that ohohoho. really grrrrinds my gears.#this is obviously not what the person is trying to do with that but the unavoidable implication that the reason you might still #be suffering is that you just haven't tried hard enough to change to like things to open your eyes... hey. respectfullly. fuck off #peak advice for mild to moderate symptoms of mental illness thoughtlessly presented as universally applicable #without any consideration for the deeper thing you're saying -- that if someone is in a real bad way and DOESN'T get better #it's their own responsibility and they just haven't tried hard enough. in trying to be kind you are being so desperately cruel #to the people who are struggling the most. bitch I am fucking GREAT at liking things! it's one of my best skills!! I'm generally curious!#my capacity for enthusiasm and intellectual joy over any old thing that strikes my fancy is legendary and often I suspect quite annoying!!!#so when anhedonia completely envelops me I know it's a sign of something else and bigger going on in the background #it's not a choice. the brain is not solely a cognitive machine!! you cannot fix everything that can go awry with it by Thinking Better!!!#cbt must be great for the people it's great for and I'm sincerely genuinely glad for it. less suffering in the world is great #but it is a way of thinking that is a hammer and you just have to hope like fuck your problem is a nail. because otherwise #you're bruised from being beaten with hammers and the additional shame of what's wrong with you that it's not helping #and again I recognize very keenly that this is not a space meant entirely for me. people sharing resources that amn are not about me #is not only fine it's good it's great! however. it'd also be nice to not get thrown under the fucking bus for once #because my presence fully expressed is an uncomfortable reminder of the things we *cannot* control about our own brains lmao #I'm lucky that I've been in the game long enough and have enough resources to start to smell the bullshit here but...#the pain 'losing years' induces in you when you don't have *a fucking choice* -- because it's not a matter of willpower #or positive thinking or changing your mindset. you're just sick. in a way medicine hasn't quite figured out how to help yet.#well. maybe. maybe don't put that on someone huh. maybe don't make their 'lost years' to depression and doomscrolling or whatever #'their own fault'. I kind of think that's possible to do without submitting to doomposting. is all.#(I feel the same about the 'resting vs. rotting' idea. well friend sometimes the best I can hope for is some gentle rotting #thanks for introducing this layer of disgust and condemnation to the general despair. it's added a patina)#this might actually be the first time I've managed to hold on to my own anger about this rather than it getting drowned out by shame tho #which as steps forward go. *sigh* it's not a moon landing is it. but a small step for man nevertheless I suppose

19 notes · View notes

icewindandboringhorror · 3 months ago

Text

Recent life photos

#photo diary #image 1 & 2 - of course these are just cloud images. But a cool pattern of them :0 #3 - another word count of game writing... aargh... Still debating about like allowing other people into the game discord or how early #in the process one should do that.. but social things are just so difficult for me lol.. I shall always suffer for my lack of networking an #self promotion skills. 4 - I was forced to get a new phone a few months ago because my beloved phone of like 10 years finally #broke too much. and I always like to go through the emojis and make a little memo with all my favorites. yaay little pictures of things.#5 - I FINALLY finished all the dictionary entries for the game (which has a little dictionary feature in the player's journal to note #any specific terms and keep track of them (like what 'jhevona' or 'avirre'thel' means. or to remember that the world is called Nanyevimi #and the country they're in is Asen. etc. etc.)). There are 75 defined terms so far and it took me a while to do so out of curiosity I put #all the text into a wordcounter thing and lol.. 8000 words isnt that much I guess but the 30 minute reading time is funny to me. 30 minutes #for my little tiny dictionary panel in my quaint little casual visual novel which is not even lore heavy at all. hee hee (though that's mor #like a minute here and there since obv people are not unlocking every term all at once. you complete the dictionary as you talk to people #and hear them mention new concepts over time.).. ANYWAY..#6 - a very soft and beautiful stuffed animal that I did not buy but wanted to at least document their charm.#7 - stimky boye waiting in front of his favorite straw meowring screaming for someone to play with him (he likes to chase the #straw around). 8 - matcha bubble tea my beloved. 9 & 10 & 11 - some cool flowers I saw. also featuring one of my favorites (columbines!)#Anyhow.. as mentioned in the other photo diary post.. I have just been packing and writing mostly.. The evil summer is coming of course #which me and my health issues always dread. Good news though is I finally got my passport in the mail! >:3 huzzah. Now I just need to find #some fellow aromantic asexual living outside the US willing to take one for the team and fake a marriage with me so I can get the #hell out of the country UwU (<joking) (...mostly... as in - definitely NOT my main goal. but if a viable opportunity presented itself I #would of course give it consideration lol). I know that's already highly regulated but I wonder if it's something that will become even mor #locked down as people hunt for any opportunity to flee. People are out here searching for any loophole. Frantically researching their #entire family tree seeing if there's any chance for a citizenship by descent in whatever place will take them. etc. etc. lol #So I wonder if such marriages are a thing that will come up more often. hmm.. ANYWAY..#I have almost all of my stuff packed even though I don't move until another 1-2 months. But that's the point is to have it all sorted early #in the last remaining scraps of ''cooler'' weather so that then I can just relax up until then. I'm going to try doing another scrapbook #/sketchbook this summer as a Mood Boosting effort. Just to find little things to help with the situational political existential dread and #climate woes. So on days it's too hot to function I can just glue little things to pages and doodle lol.. hopefully.. slowly getting things #off my to do list.. I reaaaaaally want to get back to playing games as it's so fun and realxing to me but..rghgh.. 500 other things..

17 notes · View notes

nexus-nebulae · 1 year ago

Text

me as a kid: i have all these problems

every adult around me: you're not old enough to know what's wrong with you, you're fine

me as an adult: i still have all these problems

my doctors after i finally got the opportunity to choose them myself: oh my fucking god why have you never gotten help for all these problems. you should have seen me 10 years ago

#problems i have finally gotten help for that i was told i was not old enough to know about:#AMPS (was told it was anxiety and then when i kept coming back they said it was fibro Quite Literally just to get me to shut up)#(like the doc i just saw literally said 'they diagnose fibromyalgia here when they dont know what the problem is but dont feel like testing)#multiple food allergies (was also told the stomach pain and vomiting was anxiety)#seborrheic dermatitis (i was told 'youre just stressed thats why you have a rash')#(which- if im so stressed my skin is literally dying MAYBE I STILL NEED HELP?????????)#autism and adhd (my father knew! but refused to get me assessed bc if i dont have a diagnosis theres no problem right :)#anxiety disorder (oh so when I'm in pain i DO have anxiety but when i say i have anxiety I'm overreacting okay)#dyscalculia and possibly dyslexia ('you just need to try harder' I've asked for a tutor five times)#some of my doctors don't actually believe me about some of these problems BECAUSE i have no records from when i was a kid #they're like 'it just popped up at 18? seems suspicious......' like I WASN'T ALLOWED TO GO TO THE DOCTOR'S UNTIL THEN #there's definitely more but I'm still mad abt it #i might not be in a wheelchair Almost All The Time if i had gotten help BEFORE i lost half the feeling in my legs #i KNEW the fibro was a BS diagnosis #i tried to get assessed for autism at 16 and was told i have schizotypal personality disorder instead with literally zero testing #like my psych just refused to allow me to get tested for autism she was like 'no you have spd i Just Know'#same psych that said there was zero way i had anything like DID because my symptoms didn't present Exactly like the Only other #patient at the clinic with DID. i want to note that that was a 14 year old boy still being actively abused #and i was a 20 year old who was in a safe environment and had distanced myself from my abusers and stressors

35 notes · View notes

selkiesparrow · 1 year ago

Note

Do we know anything about Joanna's creative process and working habits?

Well, we know what she's told us haha. But yes, I'd say we know at least somewhat how she works. You can read her wonderful Arthur Mag interview to see how she used to work during her Ys era (I mean the WHOLE interview is a fascinating inside into her work psyche at that time, I don't even know which quote to pick and choose for a sample, all of it is great haha). Then, e.g., Under The Radar for HOOM is really good. Also, Here's Ryan Francesconi talking about working with Joanna on HOOM:

“Ryan Francesconi transcribed many of the vocal and harp parts while working on “Have One on Me.” “Her phrasing with the vocal is really hard to write down,” he told me. “The rhythms are so subtle — so subtly off the beat all the time. And that’s a really interesting thing, because her harp is very precise, yet the vocal floats on top, and has a really separate feeling. The things she can do independently while playing the harp are humbling.”

And Joanna talking about writing HOOM:

"Timeout: It’s [Have One On Me] been called a pop record.

Joanna: ‪I guess it’s almost like I’m saying the same thing [as on Ys], but the intention is a little different for me. For some reason I was in the mood to make something very direct. I felt like I had been so abstract in some ways and kind of ungrounded, there were a lot of frenetic, hypercomplicated musical or harmonic transitions, an extremely compacted, compounded density of lyrics as well as a hyperawareness of the structure of the lyric, the syllabic emphases and the interior rhyme structure. Just a bunch of stuff like that. I had felt like I had been in that very constricted space. Sort of outfitted in this specialized writing gear. I felt like an astronaut or something in my crazy suit walking around in space doing this specialized, technical thing. For me, for whatever reason, that was what I need to do at the time to make what was ultimately a very emotional and intense at times record.‬

T: It is a sad record, isn’t it?

J: For me, it was. But I think for whatever reason when I started work on this record I zipped off the astronaut suit and wanted to be grounded on earth and very earthy, very bodily, physical. I wanted the songs to be easier. Warmer; and a lot of that was intention and a lot of that was a product of the mood that I was in. I did a German interview the other day, where I said that it reminded me of when I was really little and I would go to church. I was five or something. I remember wearing my little sailor dress and zip collar and itchy wool tights and patent leather shoes. My hair was tied up into some really tight French braid and I would get home and tear it all off. Throw it in a pile in the corner and run around outside…Sunday! Run around with my brother and my sister and the dog. Run through the sprinklers if it was summer. And that feeling. And there was something like that that pervaded the process of editing this record. I’m unburdening and setting off to work in a way. I think that it lends a directness probably to the record which might be what some people call a “pop feel.” Because it’s certainly not a pop record."

For Divers, I think her interview with The Stranger shares some fun bits about her process. Like this hilarious quote:

"I asked Newsom why she goes to the trouble of constructing such elaborate musical structures.

"The thing is, I don't know why," she said. "But... I do have a real belief that the exact right word—in terms of conveying meaning as efficiently and correctly and concisely as possible—will also be the word that agrees in terms of rhyme, musical weight, syllabic weight, beauty, and elegance. I think that words are magical. All of that effort is all about uncovering the word that is just sitting there waiting for you, and when you find it, it's like the equivalent of watching your team get a touchdown. It's just like WHOA. And you run in circles and say, 'Fuck yeah!'"

There are so many goodies! And her creative process is so fascinating!!

#you can look into my joanna tag + quote you'll find some more if you're interested ;)#what a lovely question #oh i missed chatting with y'all here about joanna and art and life and stuff thank you <3 #i'll try to be more present i just need to this fog in my head to clear up i think but i'm here (slow but here) if anyone wants to chat #q and a #anonymous

16 notes · View notes

iniziare · 2 months ago

Text

Alternates between this, and this because power of motivational music, as I insist on finishing these asks and then resuming to the dating asks. Am I still accepting them? Maybe, yes, that is if you're interested in paragraphs. Okay, but seriously, I'll try to shorten them. I'm capable of this, I am, I am.

#[ out of character. ] don't bend or water it down. don't try to make it logical. rather: follow your most intense obsessions mercilessly.#[ my god 80% of the reason i've not been here-- like sure yes teams leaves you with no brain after 8 hours but. ]#[ i can deal. it's work. i get over it somehow. but it's more so that i have NO proper desk. it's this table that's not deep-- ]#[ so it barely functions as a desk. being on a laptop is terrible for posture and especially for me. ]#[ so i /need/ to hook it up to the monitor and separate keyboard. but the table isn't deep enough. i just. ]#[ am /not/ comfortable. but i miss being here so much it's insane. i need writing in my life. so i'll suffer. ]#[ i need to move either into the shared accommodation offered by my recruiter or find something of my own before the 5th. ]#[ but it'll be the former as that's free at least. and my funds are /drained/. so that'll allow me to keep my salary to the side. ]#[ and likely move during that month. ]#[ i can't believe it-- my birthday present to myself may /literally/ be an apartment in athens. i'm thriving at this thought. ]

4 notes · View notes

quitedisastrous · 3 months ago

Text

i wish i could just do nothing for a few days straight. maybe even just sleep for a few days straight. sooo excited for constant misery over the next 20 days

ranting in the tags. i would just scroll past if i were you

#i love college.my favorite part is sitting alone on my couch for 4 months straight and getting so freaked out over grades i spend #5 hours straight trying to avoid the urge to bite into my arm so hard i bruise or bash my head into a wall #meanwhile i keep thinking my life is over. i don't have any evidence. for the first time in my life the future isn't predetermined by #other people and now that i don't know what comes next i just constantly get freaked out. it makes me want to claw through my skin #i know something is wrong with me. it's been 5 years. i know it isn't just going to go away; especially given current circumstances #and how it's only been getting worse over time #but i continue to just sit on my couch and do nothing about it. and since i'm not doing anything about it i just feel like i don't have the #right to complain about it even though shit fucking sucks. months of my life at a time just blur together #god. i was genuinely happy last month when i ripped a bunch of booster packs with my mates that i only see over the summer (minus my bestie #and it made me realize just how much everything's blurred together. i hadn't really felt anything lasting + significantly positive #for months before that. that's not normal #god. i've been wanting to go to bed for the last two hours but i just keep sitting here going “um! you need to study. and wash dishes. and”#so i just. don't. which is already bad but i also need to get up early so i can study for my test tomorrow.#god. fucking dreading my lab tomorrow. went to it last week but dipped at the last minute without getting my work checked off #and without submitting it because i got so angry and freaked out and telling myself “man you can just leave” calmed me down instantly #and then at that point i had like nothing done and i didn't want to admit that so i just. left #if i get asked about it i'll just say it was something personal and i panicked. shrug #a part of me is beyond tempted to skip the lab again but i'm not confident in my assignment grades in that class to do so #even though i'll end up with a 5 point bonus on the final grade from taking a survey. but i'll probably go just cause #it's the second to last lab #man i have three whole ass projects due in that class in 10 days. unless my mental state suddenly improves (it won't) i'm gonna end up doin #those the last possible three days #speaking of assignments. we had to do a group project in my bio lab yeah? the methods my group went with sucked and honestly these #people were a little bit frustrating (i get it. gen ed lab at 7:30am. i'm only in it cause i panicked when a different class registration #fell through) since it always felt like they were more interested in getting done than having like. slightly decent work but whatever #but these people? these people asked me to write the conclusion for our presentation. i ask “yeah sure yeah. what did we conclude”#“eh. you can write whatever” ???????????????? HUH???? MATE THAT IS HALF OF THE WORK???????????????????#the shitty sensors and our shitty methods gave us shitty data and YOU PEOPLE CAN'T EVEN SUGGEST WHAT THE CONCLUSION IS????????? fuck me dud #i was already in a poor mood (normal mental illness plus i had found out my uncle died like three days before #like i had talked to him just last month. never had someone i know die before. sucks) but that shit pissed me off

3 notes · View notes

asvidema · 3 months ago

Text

i have this feeling that if we do get a wedding dlc (biggest proof i have of it outside of dialogues is the fact that jitka got her own portrait in the codex alongside the other characters) we'll get to find out that hans was wrong, and jitka is actually one of the fairest maidens of the realm

#and i will laugh looking at hans realize that she's indeed gorgeous and faltering just a little bit. because he's a bisexual disaster #bonus points for romanced hans to suddenly look for henry's support even more #because he fears that as he writes himself 'his body sometimes strays'#boy. a wedding dlc would actually be such an experience to play through #i'm already suffering and laughing for hans. and the wedding doesn't even exist in the games. anywhere. outside of text #i clearly doubt he'd start having second thoughts about henry. i don't think that will be the case #but he will definitely want henry to not think ill of him. i have this flash in mind where he sees jitka for the first time #henry next to him. and hans is flabbergasted. henry notices and he leans in #quietly telling him 'i shall leave you alone with your soon to be bride my lord. i'll be at the forge'#and he smiles and leaves. and hans absolutely panics and snarls at him to stay while trying to keep decent composure but it's too late #it's stupid and cliche but i find it funny and sort of wholesome that hans would need henry to be present to feel confident for jitka #and if he's not then he's a bit everywhere and nowhere with his head #anyway. ramblings of a crazed man here lmao

2 notes · View notes

icewindandboringhorror · 9 months ago

Text

I occasionally wish to reach out to old friends/acquaintances I haven't spoken to since high school/some other even earlier time in my life, but I have SOOO little social energy even for required tasks (like making dr phone calls or etc), I never have any leftover for extra ones, and it would be very odd to message someone I haven't spoken to in like 5 years out of the blue but then take 4 entire months to respond back lol.. My natural curiosity with nostalgia/collecting details of the past/etc. (literally if I were born a little earlier I would definitely do scrapbooking or something lol) is very strong, but, alas, not strong enough to beat out the Social Issues Demons apparently

#facebook always does that 'here's a post from this day 8 years ago' thing. and I see old comments interacting #with people and it's so like.. OOOOO~~ where are they now?? what's going on? how much have they changed as people?#how much are they the same? this is fascinating. i should contact them!!' but then it's like... take that to it's logical conclusion though #you would contact them and then IF they even responded it would take you 80 years to respond and then they would #think there was something wrong or that you were trying to be insulting or something. To contact anyone I need to include an 85 page #disclaimer of all of my social issues & mental illness things. 'If i take 3 weeks to reply I promise it has nothing to do with u' etc lol #THIS is why more people need to be into phone calls/voice calls/some form of audio real time communication/etc.#I think one of the main things that's hard about messaging through text for me is it's so unscheduled and open ended #(plus it takes forever if you're talking about anything in detail and gets very long very quickly)#because like you can send a message and then just get a reply whenever. and then you're expected to reply back whenever #so it's like you never know when the response will come or when a new obligation to reply can come up? so it's like this sudden thing with #no outline?? if that makes sense. whereas a phone call is very like 'hello let's schedule a call from 10am - 2pm on thursday'. And you know #EXACTLY when the interaction will start and EXACTLY when it will end and you can plan around it in your schedule easily.#I have the reverse thing of a lot of people (how people don't pick up phone calls/hate calls/only text)#I would literally talk on the phone with a stranger. I would have a discord voice chat with someone I barely know.#if someone I hardly even remember from elementary school asked to have a voice call with me out of nowhere I would do it.#but if a stranger MESSAGED me?? or someone I barely know sent me a TEXT or something?? I will never reply probably #It's just too vague and weird. and you can't read voice tone over text. and the interaction could last forever with no clear end #point and etc. etc. But a call is like. set. established. clear boundaries. you can read the flow of conversation better. rapport. etc. etc #I get that I guess people feel more anonymous or distanced over text?? but you can have fake phone numbers on the computer. or do like disc #rd calls. or zoom without a camera or etc. etc. Also the distance that's present in text is BAD distance because it just means that tone is #not conveyed properly and you will never truly get a sense of the person's conversational vibe or mannerisms or how well you really click.#ANYWAY ghgjh...... I'm so so so interested in concepts of like.. How did that one kid I used to talk to in elementary school #but then they moved away in 5th grade - how did they end up? what are they doing now?? etc. etc. Like despite the severe social anhedonia #and general lack of connection with others I'm just really fascinated in like.. idk. the human development of it all and like #the concept of how we're actually a million different people through the course of our lives ever evolving in different iterations and etc.#PLUS again. i love nostalgia. sometimes old peple you know might remember a shared memory or can tell you about something you forgot #or etc. like it's SUCH A COOL THING in CONCEPT but I am too socially inept generally speaking lol. which people I still talk to today are #familiar with my 'phone call once every few months' communication style. but strangers would just be like... wtf. And I don't blame them #Sure I literally cannot change the physical health + brain issues i have - but also I know enough to not put others through that lol

17 notes · View notes

gastlygallows · 4 months ago

Text

Me when writing my books:

Me when trying to figure out how to market them and knowing I have to do social media as my author persona:

#I like making little memes of my characters that suit them but so many corpos do that soullessly :c #but I'm not a corporation i am an independent author so is it still cringe to post them on my socmeds??#what do you man i need to do a twice a month minimum newsletter and do more tiktok dances and trends #is it really that bad that i don't want to talk to my audience all the time i just want to present my work #my authorsona is behind the curtain #and i'm like #slapping her ass and telling her to get out on stage and fucking DANCE #and then she's crying and saying “but i'm scared” girl you're literally wearing a mask no one can see your face please just go do it #ONE OF US HAS TO PUT OURSELVES OUT THERE #i hate marketing I HATE MARKETING #i hate tiktok and the lasting effects it's had on social media #a meme used to last half a year minimum now you're lucky if a meme has staying power for a month #I hate to sound like I'm just out here trying to get rich but I assure you I do not compromise my creative visions #the reality is that i do need to make money though #and i got 2 years to pull my life together before i end up in a situation i do not want to be in not really #i have to be a strong independent woman capable of taking care of herself fully financially and getting herself healthcare and a house #really let myself become so weak willed thanks to my scumbag imposter ex and I just didn't recover it #i need to reclaim my ARIES ENERGY #It is Aries season it's ME season so need to RECLAIM it's MINE the stars said so!!!#I'M A STRONG CAPABLE COMPETITIVE LEADER TYPE WITH CUTE BUT DEADLY HORNS ME! ME! ME! *headbutts a wall*#end schizoposting.png

4 notes · View notes

nexus-nebulae · 9 months ago

Text

wait so i had a thought. so if you're transitioning to a guy you would usually be transmasc. and transitioning to a girl would usually be transfem. but like. what about agender. transnothing??

#agender #i usually go with transneu but it doesn't always feel right #bc my multigenders are man and agender and thing #and neutral brings to mind simply nonbinary which i know is an umbrella term #but more and more lately it simply feels like just a third gender instead of a broad term describing anyone not binary #and so many people seem to believe that if you're nonbinary you have to present as androgynously as possible #and if any of your unchangeable without surgery traits are too gendered then you're not trying hard enough #even though. you know. most people can't really afford to just get a surgery whenever they fucking want to be trans #and some people just do not fucking want to and it's bullshit that this is so enforced it's classist and ableist and fatphobic #im multigender and still feel completely excluded from being nonbinary because I'm trying to grow a beard and get bottom surgery #that doesn't turn me into a genderless ken doll #i want to look masculine but apparently that's not allowed here. :/

4 notes · View notes

arcadequeerz · 5 months ago

Text

Sometimes I wonder if I'm allowed to be as scared as I am with everything that's going on.

#Cade.Txts #Idk if its warranted or not. just feels like any time i go outside anymore i have a awful interaction.#shout out 2 the last couple times people legit laughing at me n people screaming at me about my weight.#I rarely leave my house as is and everything just makes me want to hide in here more.#i wish i could be out and upfront about who i am with out anxiety screaming at me.#i wish i wasn't so constantly aware of how people Stare at me.#I wish i could make myself smaller so people wouldn't look at me.#Wish I could make myself into who i wish i could be instead of what i'm stuck looking like.#Idk how to explain what i mean when i say thus but like. i do not Pass either way. like- i dont look like a 'cis women'-#and i dont look like a 'man'- dnt know how to word it any better. regardless of how i try and present it isn't 'right'#in cis peoples eyes.#sorry if thats worded poorly i dont know how to word what i mean any better.#anyways hope everyone is staying safe ilu guys.#i need horrible things to happen to horrible people.

3 notes · View notes