#i'm trying not to bother her when she goes under my bed or into another room

[the-everqueen]

i should be prepping this guest lecture but instead i'm obsessed with the cat.

[earlysunshines]

downstairs neighbor

danielle marsh x fem!reader ; fluff

synopsis: in which you party so often that you get another complaint, but this time it's from a very pretty girl that really has you considering shutting the whole function down.

warnings: alcohol and weed mentioned ; readers an asshole at first but danielle is danielle so reader goes through a whole crisis ; yeah they're adorable, basically black cat and golden retriever trope sorry not sorry ; anything else i didn't mention ; not proofread

a/n: get it because usually it's the upstairs neighbor but i'm quirky so its not... ok nvm ill delete my account i gues ... anyways FIRST DANI FIC UNDER 10K! guys im so in love with her i need to be put into an asylum do u see these pics of her LOOK AT HERR!!! i need to die like rn

danielle has settled in quite alright into her new university. she's moved in with one of her close friends from high school, decorated her side of the room, and all of her professors are oddly sweet--much better than the professors from her old school.

she makes it to the first friday of the semester, deciding to settle in and watch a movie, maybe call her mom and dad later if she doesn't doze off. but when she hears muffled music and disturbing footsteps from downstairs, she pauses the show she's two minutes into and gets out of her bed.

hanni's on the other side of the room completely slumped, her headphones peeking out from the blanket sprawled on top of her with no care in the world as to what is happening downstairs. danielle purses her lips before getting out of bed and slipping the university sweatshirts over her tank top.

she looks back over at hanni, who’s still sleeping, before heading out into the living room area, past the kitchen, and out the door.

when she reaches the floor below, she follows the noise, it gets louder as she steps through the corridors, and then she stops in front of what she suspects is the source of all this disruption before knocking on the door—no response.

“hm.” she mumbles, knocking again in a little pattern—still no response.

before she can knock again, her fist in the air ready to hammer a little harder on the door, it opens.

a girl—probably her age—answers it, eyes narrowed at danielle. she’s slightly taller, but still, danielle feels a little small with how scrutinizing she checks her out. 

“did kazuha invite you? yujin? or was it jungwon?” the girl looks at her with raised brows, expecting an answer with a slightly bothered look. it seems like danielle had interrupted their little… event? whatever event it was, did they really need to have house music being blasted so loudly?

danielle rubs her thumb against her pointer finger, trying to steady her nerves. “oh, no, i um… wasn’t invited,” she says, her voice wavering slightly. the words sound even more pathetic out loud than they did in her head, but there’s no taking them back now. she pushes on, though it feels like her confidence is slipping away with every syllable. “i was just wondering if—well, if you could turn the music down? my roommate is sleeping and it’s just… really disturbing.”

the girl in front of her snickers, a look of disbelief crossing her face as she sizes danielle up. it’s clear she finds the request ridiculous, and danielle feels her cheeks heat up in embarrassment.

“you know what, this isn’t even my party—hey y/n! come out here!” the girl calls over her shoulder, her tone dismissive as she waves danielle off like she’s someone else’s problem now.

you hear your name being called, and with a sigh, you push yourself up from the couch. the group you were sitting with whines in protest as you leave, but you roll your eyes—they’re all drunk, their complaints nothing more than the amplified nonsense of intoxicated minds.

“what is it, yunjin?” you call out, rubbing your eyes as you approach the entrance, the taste of the cheap beer sakura handed you earlier lingering unpleasantly on your tongue. “what—”

the words die in your throat as you spot the girl standing just inside the doorway. she’s probably, no, definitely new here—new to the party, new to the scene. you’ve never seen someone that makes you stop in your tracks like this. her long eyelashes flutter as she looks up at you, her big brown eyes sparkling with a mix of nervousness and something else you can’t quite place. she’s dressed in baggy sweats and an oversized university sweater, the logo stretched across her chest in signature block letters. there’s an air of innocence about her, something that feels out of place amidst the environment both of you are in right now.

you take her in, noting how pretty she is—adorable, if you’re going to be honest with yourself. she looks like a lost puppy, especially with those pleading eyes and the subtle bite of her lip—

you push the thought aside, telling yourself it doesn’t matter. you’re just here to deal with whatever minor inconvenience yunjin has decided to dump on you.

“who are you?”

“um, my name is danielle, i live right above.” she has an accent, something strong and similar to that girl yunjin’s been bickering with – was it lily? no, bangchan? hell no, she hates him and his little group. ah, hanni that short girl that came complaining during your second party of freshman year, yunjin still brings her up. 

“right, what do you want?” you ask, sensing yunjin’s departure when you feel her brush against your shoulder. “is there a problem or?”

“well, yeah, kind of…” she’s actually adorable, especially when she avoids your eye contact like that. “it’s kind of loud, you know. i was wondering if you could turn down the volume a bit? there’s a lot of thumping i can hear from above, i can’t imagine how it must be for the downstairs neighbors…”

“you must be new.”

“sorry?”

“you’ll get used to it.” you say simply, poking the inside of your cheek before starting to close the door. “i recommend a pair of some good noise cancelling headphones—and a signature study spot. see you around danielle.”

you feel a strange pang of guilt, something unfamiliar and uncomfortable twisting in your chest. you’ve done this before—brushed off people’s complaints, shut the door on them without a second thought. but there’s something about her that makes you hesitate, something that tugs at you. maybe it’s the way she looked at you, those big brown eyes wide with a mix of hope and desperation, like she was really counting on you to help. you give her one more glance, catching that puppy-dog expression that makes your resolve waver for just a second. but then, before you can think twice, you close the door on her, shutting out the sight of her pleading face.

–

danielle spends the whole night tossing and turning, the faint vibration of the music seeping through the ground and into her restless mind. it’s not loud enough to keep her fully awake, but just persistent enough to keep her from finding any real rest. she considers going back downstairs, maybe trying to have a proper conversation, coming to some kind of compromise. but every time she thinks about it, the memory of how things ended—the snickers, the dismissive attitude—fills her with embarrassment, making her shrink back into her bed.

the next morning, she’s awake before the sun, the lingering fatigue making her body feel heavy and sluggish. still, she forces herself out of bed, the need to talk to someone—anyone—pushing her into action. with a deep breath, she reaches over and starts shaking hanni awake, the clock not even close to ten a.m. on a weekend. hanni groans in protest, burrowing deeper into the blankets, but danielle is relentless, her fingers poking at hanni’s sides until her sleepy roommate finally stirs, blinking up at her with bleary eyes.

“what the hell man? the sun is still rising!”

“what do you know about the downstairs neighbor?”

“w-what?” hanni mumbles, rubbing her eyes as she turns to lay on her back and squint at her roommate. “y/n? is this about her?”

“the girl directly below us—taller, mean, arrogant, tattoo on her arm and wrist, kind of pretty, nice lips, and jawline… ugh! her!”

“that’s y/n, but you’re reaching with the whole kind of pretty part. petty? yeah, more accurate.”

“last night i went down and asked her to–”

“you went to her place? to do what, complain?” 

“yes!” hanni shuts her eyes and sinks her head deeper into the pillow, sighing softly again. her roommate is new, she can’t be harsh, and plus, it’s danielle. 

“dani… the ra is literally in love with her, and y/n uses that so she can party and get high in her fuckass living room.”

“what?”

“danielle, mo dani, please listen.” hanni sits up, blinking hard as she reaches out ot put a hand on her friends shoulder. “you’ll get used to it, you can use my old headphones and i’ll show you my favorite cafe.”

“you’re just going to let this slide?”

“well until y/n stops flirting with jiyoung; there’s nothing we can really do other than cope every friday—and sometimes saturday—night.” hanni explains, flopping onto the bed and returning to fetal position. “can you put the blanket over me, please? i’m tired and cold… please.”

danielle frowns before covering her roommates body with her weighted blanket, sighing before she returns to her bed, laying down and recollecting all her memories from the night before–of you.

—

you’re late. of course you’re late on the second week of classes, as if last weeks twenty minute surprise appearance wasn’t humbling enough. 

as you rush out of your apartment, you’re met with jiyoung standing right by the exit, as if she’s been waiting for you—she probably has. this has happened at least once a week last year. she greets you with her signature smile and a small piece of chocolate, a gesture that would be sweet if you weren’t in such a hurry. you force a smile and mumble a quick thanks, but you know what’s coming next. the compliments, the small talk, the forced out, cliché lines she always uses. it’s all part of her routine, but you really don’t have the time for it today. you need to get to class.

fifteen minutes later, you’re finally free from jiyoung’s conversation, but you’re also running dangerously late. again. you sprint across campus, your heart pounding in your chest as you mentally prepare for the inevitable stares and the professor’s disapproving remarks.

when you finally reach the classroom, you throw the door open a little too forcefully. the room falls silent as heads turn to face you, the sudden interruption catching everyone’s attention. you freeze for a second, cringing at yourself when you’re caught in the spotlight, before the professor’s voice cuts through the silence.

“late on the second week? what was it, kim… no, yang…” he trails off, squinting at you as if trying to remember your name.

you clear your throat, feeling your face heat up. “l/n, l/n y/n,” you correct him, trying to keep your voice steady.

“well, you’re lucky i’ve just started the lecture. please hurry and take a seat, you’ve already made quite the impression.”

“sorry, sir,” you mumble, pinching the bridge of your nose in frustration as you scan the room for an empty seat. most of the rows are full, and the weight of all those eyes on you makes your skin prickle with discomfort.

finally, you spot an open seat in the fourth row from the top, right at the edge. you hurry over and drop your bag beside the chair, quickly unzipping it to pull out your laptop. your hands move with practiced speed, signing in and opening a page for notes before setting your bag on the empty seat next to you. you look up, hoping to catch up on what you’ve missed so far. 

and that’s when you see her.

danielle. she’s sitting just two seats away from you, her gaze locked on yours the moment you look up. her big brown eyes, framed by those impossibly long lashes, are full of recognition—and something else you can’t quite place, and why are they sparkling? your jaw tenses as you force yourself to look away, zipping up your bag with a little more force than necessary. three seats. that’s all that separates you from the girl who showed up at your doorstep last friday, the one you dismissed without a second thought. and now here she is, sitting way too close for comfort, her presence making the air around you feel heavier.

of course you blindly chose the spot next to her. the new girl who filed a complaint, only to have the door shut on her. it’s just your luck.

you catch her in your peripheral staring at you for a few more seconds before she redirects her attention towards the professor. you let out a breath of relief, now you just have to get through the next hour and fifty minutes near the cute girl you were an ass to.

–

as soon as the class ends, you’re out the door without sparing a glance at danielle. she watches you hurry out, noticing how you started packing up your things five minutes before class was even dismissed. it’s like you couldn’t wait to get away.

you make your way to the engineering building, where you know your roommate yunjin’s class ended a bit earlier. when you spot her in the lobby, you walk up with a bothered look on your face.

“good morning…?” yunjin greets you, her smirk showing she’s amused by your expression.

“you won’t believe who’s in my sociology class,” you say, still reeling from the encounter.

“everyone takes sociology, even the finance freaks,” she replies, shrugging as if it’s not a big deal.

“nevermind.” you roll your eyes, scoffing. “whatever, let’s grab a bite. i’m hungry.”

“you always are,” yunjin chuckles, stepping beside you.

the two of you end up at your favorite local thai place, sharing a large bowl of fried rice. it’s a familiar routine—since freshman year, you’ve known one bowl is more than enough to satisfy both of you. the memory of that first time, half-drunk and thinking the portions would be small, makes you smile despite your lingering annoyance.

as you chew on your second bite, glancing at a notification on your phone, yunjin’s voice cuts through your thoughts. “so, who’s in your sociology class?”

“danielle,” you reply, not looking up from your phone.

“who?”

“the girl from friday.”

yunjin frowns, trying to recall. “at our party? there wasn’t anyone i didn’t know–”

“no, no. the girl you made me deal with. she knocked on the door—big eyes, long lashes.”

“oh, her,” yunjin hums, finally understanding. “what about her?”

“i closed the door on her that night after she complained or whatever. i didn’t think much of it, but then i was late to class because jiyoung wanted to talk to me, and i picked a random spot… turns out it was three fucking seats away from her—danielle.”

yunjin laughs, thankfully before she can take another bite of rice. “seriously?”

“shut up.”

“that’s hilarious. you think she’s going to give you shit?”

“i mean,” you poke at your rice, hesitating, “she doesn’t seem like she will…”

but even as you say it, the thought nags at you. danielle doesn’t seem like the type to hold a grudge—polite and sweet even when you were being arrogant—almost too good to be true. she looks like she belongs in a fairy tale, with her princess-like appearance and demeanor. meanwhile, you feel like the ugly villain in her story, lurking under the bridge, ready to cast a spell or something like that. the more you think about it, the more ridiculous it seems.

“then you’ll be fine, you were fine shutting the door on her anyway.”

you were fine, but that version of you was under the influence of cheap beer and too focused on going back to your conversation than dealing with someone’s complaint—even if it were from danielle.

“i guess.”

–

the next time you host a party, the volume’s turned down by two notches. you tell yourself it’s because yunjin’s been saying “huh?” to you more often, but deep down, you know that’s not the real reason.

you’ve also decided to stick with one can of beer instead of three. even yujin seemed surprised when you declined the second. 

these parties used to be at jake’s place, but he argued they should be at yours since the ra is madly in love with you, and your place is slightly bigger. you were against it at first, but socializing never hurt, and it made you happy to see others happy. you’d also be lying if you said you didn’t enjoy the occasional expensive drink that someone brought when their paycheck had been a bit fatter that week.

now, you’re leaning against the counter while minji rummages through a cupboard, searching for spare plastic cups. you take a sip from your sprite—the second can of the night, and surprisingly, neither has been alcoholic (you don’t count the bitter can of beer, it’s only five percent alcohol). yunjin’s voice cuts through the music just loud enough for you to hear, “you think that girl will show up again? give you shit?”

“i’d hope not.” you pretend it’s a truthful statement, your tone firm, a little snarky, and a bit confident, but there’s a small part of you that hopes she does. you catch yourself imagining her showing up in her oversized sleepwear again, her eyes wide, her voice so soft and sweet it makes your chest tighten a little. 

“and if she does?”

“i’ll shut her out again.”

“and if you show up late, then sit three seats away from her again?”

“ignorance.” you sip on your sprite again, licking your lips to savor something that actually satisfies your tastebuds. 

“you’re good at that.”

“aw, thanks.” you say bitterly, hearing yunjin snicker as she tears open a new pack of red plastic cups. “asshat.”

your orange-haired roommate leans against the counter across from you, then says, “i think jungwon brought penjamin.” his infamous pen, the one you took way too many hits of last time that it had you seeing the stars. 

“not again, i don’t trust myself.”

she laughs at you again, “i don’t trust you either, let’s stick with a hit or two instead of five.”

“and you need to stick with a few drinks instead of passing out on the floor again. you’re lucky you were leaning against the couch.”

“womp womp.” you can’t believe her, what an idiot.

“say that again when you wake up with your legs in the fucking blinds, or something. i still don’t know how you don’t have liver damage, and doesn’t that affect your performance on the court?”

“conditioned to drink and score three’s.”

“whatever.” you sigh, then hear a few knocks from the door.

yunjin raises her brows, then chuckles, “hey, it’s your lovergirl.”

“she’s not my— ugh. be right back.” 

lovergirl, yunjin is going to wake up upside down in her closet if she keeps it up. there’s no chance that she’s attracted to you in the slightest, not with your first impressions. the thought makes you a little dissapointed, but you shake your head, you’re being ridiculous again. 

you shake the thought away, forcing yourself to focus getting to your door and not tripping on the shoe that had been blindlessly kicked off. there’s a quiet anticipation simmering beneath your calm exterior as the music gets more faint in your ears. you tell yourself you’re being stupid, but the truth is harder to ignore—there’s a part of you that wants her to be at the door, even if it’s just to scold you again.

you open the door, and there she is—miss lovergirl herself.

“another party?” she asks, her tone light, almost teasing.

“are you going to tell me to shut the whole thing down? still haven't invested in headphones, have you?”

“actually, i wasn’t going to—the shutting down part, i have headphones being delivered tomorrow.” she replies, smiling. maybe your brows furrow, just a little. “but the music is a little quieter, that i noticed, so maybe my efforts did pay off.” she pauses, then adds, “anyway, my roommate told me there’s no getting through to you about these parties. so, i came here to give you this.” 

she holds out a keychain with a cardholder attached, and you see a picture inside—a photo of you and your little brother at your high school graduation. he’s about twelve in the picture, braces on and cheeks still chubby. it’s one of your favorite photos, and your eyes widen as you take it from her slowly, almost carefully.

“where’d you get this?” you ask, voice a bit more cautious than you intended.

“you dropped it under your seat last lecture. seemed like you were in such a rush to leave, or to avoid me…?” she tilts her head, batting those impossibly long lashes.

you realize she’s not in her sleepwear this time. she’s dressed in everyday clothes—a zip-up over a fitted white shirt, jeans, and some well-worn sneakers. a nike cap sits snugly on her head, her long, wavy hair flowing down in a way that makes you look twice. she’s wearing light makeup, and it strikes you for the first time how nice her lips are, and—

“um, thanks,” you mutter.

“it’s no problem.”

“are you going to ask me to turn the volume down now?” 

she shakes her head, adjusting the backpack slipping down her shoulder. “no, but i'd appreciate it. you’ve already made baby steps.”

if it had been anyone else saying that, you’d have rolled your eyes, maybe even scoffed in their face. but there’s something about the way danielle says it—so genuinely, so kindly—that catches you off guard. you’re used to sharp words and snide remarks, not this… breath of fresh air, this three a.m. glass of water in the form of a person.

“right, okay,” you manage to say.

“well, i'll get going then. my roommate’s friend is coming over to watch a movie with us, so we’d appreciate it if you could maybe turn it down. but, that’s up to you, mate.” 

“oh, okay, yeah.” you feel like you’re melting into a puddle. what is going on with you? “i’ll see what i can do.”

“night then.”

“night?”

she walks off, your eyes follow her until she reacehs the end of the hall. it was the most casual encounter you’ve ever had in a bit, and yet, it felt like so much more. 

–

haerin sits back, watching without a word as hanni and minji bicker over the remote, their voices rising slightly above the hum of the tv. hanni has her arms crossed tightly over her chest, a scowl forming when minji suggests yet another sappy romance. haerin half expects them to start wrestling for control, but just before the tension hits a breaking point, the sound of the door lock twisting stops them. both heads turn to see danielle stepping inside, her hand raised in a small wave, a polite smile on her lips.

“sorry i’m late,” danielle apologizes.

“you’re good,” hanni replies, running her fingers through her hair to fix it. “movie time? can you choose, please…”

“yeah! let me get changed first, okay?”

“okay, okay, but hurry or else minji’s gonna have my limbs cut off or something. and we both know haerin would rather watch than save either of us.” hanni jokes, drawing a chuckle from haerin and a playful glare from minji. 

a few minutes later, danielle is back in an old t-shirt and plaid pajama pants. she drops herself right between hanni and minji, effectively acting as a buffer. she grabs the remote, settling under the blanket as her legs casually stretch across hanni's lap.

“where were you, by the way?” hanni asks, feeling danielle’s legs settle more comfortably over her own. “if the bus was late, you could’ve called.”

“my bus came early. i just stopped by y/n’s,” danielle replies casually.

minji’s head snaps toward danielle so fast it’s a wonder she doesn’t get whiplash. haerin even lets out a small gasp of “what?”

“y/n? you mean l/n y/n?” minji echoes, her tone filled with disbelief. “you went to her place?”

danielle nods. “she dropped something in the class we have together, so i returned it.”

“and she didn’t bite your head off?” minji asks, eyes wide. “you’re really something, danielle.”

danielle just laughs softly, her fingers scrolling through the endless netflix catalog in search of a movie they all might actually agree on. she seems unfazed by the shock that mentioning your name has caused, a slight smile playing on her lips. she can’t quite understand the big deal. you’ve been… normal, for the most part—pretty normal, actually, in the three times she’s spoken to you.

“she’s really not that bad,” danielle shrugs, finally stopping on a rom-com that catches her eye. “i can fix her.”

“you can what?” hanni swivels her head toward danielle, eyes wide in disbelief.

“what?” danielle grins. “she doesn’t bite.”

“well, her friend yunjin does,” hanni mutters, thinking back to the group project from hell with yunjin, who’d spent every meeting hungover and useless. “she’s probably just like the people she hangs out with.”

“no, i bet she’s nicer deep down.”

“you’re too pure for this world,” minji murmurs, feeling danielle’s head lean on her shoulder. “she’s got a bad reputation, you know.”

“well, she turned the volume down for us,” danielle insists.

“she did?” hanni raises an eyebrow, surprised.

“yeah, just before i visited her. i told her we’d be having a movie night and said i’d appreciate it if she toned it down a bit. now we can barely feel the bass.”

hanni thinks for a moment. maybe the music is a bit quieter, but she’s gotten so used to it, she barely notices the difference. minji and haerin, on the other hand, don't deal with the noise often—haerin lives with her parents, and minji’s dorm is on the other wing.

danielle presses play, and the conversation shifts. they all settle in, pushing the topic of you, the downstairs neighbor, out of their minds as they focus on the opening scenes of the movie.

hanni leans into haerin, a smile on her lips as her legs tangle with danielle’s. “you’re so interesting, man,” she mutters, half-amused, half-bewildered.

–

there aren't any assigned seats—it's university, for crying out loud. still, you find yourself three seats away from danielle again, like last time, pretending not to notice her as you settle in, determined not to drop anything today. you set your things down carefully, opening up your laptop and pulling out your ipad, keeping your eyes firmly on the screen.

out of the corner of her eye, danielle watches you fumble with the apple pen, spinning it between your ring and middle finger. she sees it slip from your grip and clatter to the floor beside you. you let out a soft sigh, standing to retrieve it, making your way down two rows. when you straighten up and head back, you catch danielle trying to hide a smile, her shoulders shaking with quiet laughter.

“what’s so funny?” you ask, a little defensive.

“your pen-spinning skills,” danielle says, turning fully toward you with that same amused smile. “slippery fingers?”

“shouldn’t you be reviewing before the lecture?”

“i usually get here fifteen minutes early,” she replies, still grinning. “i’ve already done that.”

“whatever.” you drop back into your seat, tapping away at your keyboard as the professor approaches the front, fiddling with the hdmi cable. you open your notes app, trying to ignore the way danielle’s laughter still lingers in the air.

“you know i don’t bite, right?” her voice breaks your focus.

“what?”

she nods at the empty seats between you. “you’re sitting pretty far… come sit next to me.”

“i’m not getting up. my stuff’s already out.”

danielle rolls her eyes, moving the desk platform in front of her as she stands, gathering her things without a second thought, and before you know it, she’s dropping into the seat beside you. you weren’t expecting that—her choosing to sit next to you so boldly. but there she is, right next to you, with that grin stretching across her face as she adjusts her notebook.

“there, lazy bum,” she teases, her tone light, eyes flicking back to the professor as he sets up the projection.

you find yourself staring, caught off guard by how close she is. she smells sweet—like cherries, with a mix of amber and jasmine. you quickly shift your gaze back to your laptop, opening your calendar and planner and, almost instinctively, the tab with the jacket you’ve been eyeing for weeks.

when you steal another glance at danielle, she’s put on a pair of glasses. stupid, adorable glasses that make her look even cuter—something you didn’t think was possible. 

you can’t help the small grin that creeps onto your face as you focus back on the slides on the big screen, but your mind is still partially with her, sitting beside you, close enough to feel the warmth radiating off her skin.

—

for the next month, sociology becomes your favorite class—not because of the subject, but because it means you get almost two hours near danielle. she’s just as sweet as she looks, always greeting you with a warm smile and tossing out casual small talk that somehow feels more personal every time. she compliments you now and then, little things like “your hair looks nice today” or “i like your shoes,” which leaves you more flustered than you’d care to admit. soon enough, it's routine—you both leave class together, walking side by side until you reach the main lobby of the science building. danielle always waves goodbye with that bright smile, her eyes sparkling, even when the sky is overcast. you smile back, feeling a little bashful, but somehow, it feels right.

sometimes, you even meet up at the entrance of your little dorm complex to head to class together. danielle's just a floor above, so you run into her in the elevator sometimes too. there’s something about her—something so effortlessly charming and magnetic. it’s like she’s a light, and you’re a moth, drawn into her presence without even realizing it.

what you don’t realize is that jiyoung, your ra, has noticed these little interactions. she catches glimpses now and then, her curiosity piqued.

after another class ends, you wave goodbye to danielle, planning to meet up with yunjin, but before you can leave, jiyoung intercepts you. 

"hey, didn’t see you this morning,” she says, her tone casual but her eyes narrowing slightly. “i haven’t been seeing you around as much, actually."

"oh, yeah… i’ve been…” you start, your gaze flicking past her to danielle, who’s almost out of the building. jiyoung looks in the same direction to see danielle as well, her brows furrow just a bit. you continue, “um, spending more time with this girl in my sociology class."

"right, danielle? she’s on the floor above you, right?”

“yeah…”

“hm,” jiyoung murmurs, more to herself than to you. “you’ve been spending a lot of time with her, haven’t you?”

“i mean, yeah. she’s nice and—why does it matter?”

“you’re not into her, are you?”

the question catches you off guard, like a punch you didn’t see coming. you stare at jiyoung like she’s lost her mind. “w-what? n-no, no, she’s just— you know, we’re friends. we’re friendly.”

“nothing more, right?”

“i mean, no, but even if it were… why does it matter to you?”

jiyoung’s gaze drops to the floor, and she mumbles, “i don’t know? i mean, you said you didn’t even want to date.”

you pinch the bridge of your nose, exhaling in frustration. “look, i’ve got to meet up with yunjin. i’ll see you around, okay?”

you turn to leave, but jiyoung’s soft scoff stops you in your tracks. she hesitates for a moment before speaking again.

“by the way,” she says, her tone light but pointed. you turn your head slightly, just enough for her to see the edge of your expression. “you can’t party this weekend. there’s been an increase in complaints.”

you pivot to face her fully, opening your mouth to argue but then closing it again. you bite the inside of your lip, letting the frustration simmer before you finally nod, muttering a resigned, “fine.”

jiyoung watches you, her expression unreadable, as you walk away, but you don’t look back. the weekend suddenly feels a lot quieter than you planned.

—

even if you’d wanted to party, it wouldn't have been an option. yunjin’s gone home for the weekend to help her sister, and you’re stuck in your dorm, feeling sicker than you’ve ever felt.

the day started off fine, just a light headache that you shrugged off. but somewhere between the gym and a quick grocery run, everything went downhill. by the time you made it back to your place, it felt like your body had been run over by a truck. your head throbbed, every limb ached, and a wave of dizziness nearly had you collapsing against the wall as soon as you stepped inside.

you barely made it to the kitchen, dropping the paper bag of groceries onto the counter before stumbling toward your bedroom. the cold hit you like a slap to the face, making you shiver uncontrollably. you rummaged through your closet for the thickest sweatshirt and sweatpants you could find, pulling them on with shaky hands. 

you didn’t even think to check your temperature; the pounding in your head and the chills wracking your body were enough to know you were in trouble. grabbing two ibuprofen from the drawer, you swallowed them dry with a couple of forced gulps of water, then collapsed onto your bed. 

you pulled the covers around you, but they did little to stop the violent shivers. your teeth chattered, and you curled in on yourself, hugging your knees to your chest as if that would somehow keep the cold at bay. every breath felt heavy, every blink longer than the last, until finally, exhaustion pulled you under.

—

the music is noticeably quieter these days, sparing your hearing and everyone else a floor above or below you. really, it’s all danielle's doing. she's somehow found your weakness—those soft, pleading eyes and that gentle voice asking you to turn it down. it’s a saturday night, and normally she’d hear the faint beats of charli xcx or troye sivan vibrating up through the floor, but tonight there’s nothing. 

danielle seems to be the only one in her shared dorm—and probably the whole building—who feels unsettled by the lack of music. the silence is almost unnerving. 

“finally, i can take a nap without those headphones on,” hanni sighs, dropping face-first onto her bed like a log. 

danielle, leaning against her bedframe, bites her lip. “don’t you think it’s weird though? no party tonight?”

“weird? dani, this is a miracle,” hanni mumbles, already half-asleep. “it’s been months since she hasn’t partied, and that was only because we were all gone during summer break.”

but as hanni's breathing evens out and she drifts off, danielle’s frown deepens. it is weird. you’ve never missed a saturday night. she doesn’t even have your number to text and check if everything’s alright.

minutes pass, and her mind races with possibilities—maybe you’re just tired, or busy with something else, or… sick? before she knows it, danielle is up and moving, driven by a strange concern she doesn’t fully understand. she tucks hanni in properly, pulling the blanket up over her instead of letting it dangle off the bed. 

once she's sure hanni is comfortable, she heads for the door, slipping on her slides and grabbing her key. she feels a small surge of determination as she steps into the hallway. if something’s wrong, she needs to know. danielle isn’t sure what she’ll find out, but she's already halfway down the hall, her feet carrying her to your place almost on their own.

she gets to your door quickly, fixing her hair because you’re somehow the only person who makes her feel the need to fuss over her appearance. 

danielle knocks twice, softly at first, just enough to be heard over normal conversation, but there's no answer. she waits, listening for any sound from inside, even from your orange-haired roommate—but nothing. she knocks again, a little louder this time, about the same level as when you party. still nothing. 

determined, she finally bangs on the door with all her might and shouts, "y/n! hello?" her voice echoes in the hallway, and a few curious heads peek out from behind their own doors, wondering what’s going on.

there's a long moment of silence before she hears a faint, “coming! coming...” it sounds like you, but groggier, almost as if the sound is muffled by the door between you two.

danielle waits, her heart pounding in her chest, until the door opens just a crack, and you peek out, looking utterly exhausted. 

“y/n?”

“w-what, what...” you murmur, your voice barely more than a whisper, and slightly slurred, like you’ve been asleep for days. "who— danielle? what are you doing here? there's no party," you mutter, breathing heavily like you’ve just run a mile. "you don’t have to… have to yell at me."

“i’m not here to yell at you, i never yell at you, silly," danielle says softly, a small smile on her face. "can i come in?”

you hum in agreement, and she pushes the door open further, stepping inside. 

the apartment is dimly lit, with only the glow from the streetlights outside and a small lamp in the living room. danielle’s eyes dart around—she’s never actually been inside before, just caught glimpses through the doorway during those parties. it’s surprisingly clean, smelling of lavender and fresh laundry instead of the stale beer or weed she expected. 

you stumble forward, catching yourself on the kitchen counter, your legs shaky and unsteady. 

danielle rushes over, her hand reaching for your arm. “are you okay?”

“y-yeah, i’m fine," you mumble, but your voice is rough, strained. 

she flicks on a light, and you wince, shielding your eyes with the back of your hand. danielle guides you to the couch, sitting you down gently. you slump back into the cushions, and she takes a closer look—your hair is stuck to your forehead, cheeks rosy, and there’s a dullness in your usually sharp eyes.

without thinking, she presses the back of her hand to your forehead, feeling the intense heat radiating from your skin. “you’re burning up,” she says softly, concern etched in her voice. “how long have you been like this?”

“i– i don’t know… i’m so tired…” you murmur, your eyes fluttering closed for a moment.

“let’s get you to your bed,” danielle suggests. “can you show me?”

you nod weakly, and she helps you to your feet. you sway slightly, leaning heavily on her as she tries to steady you. you’re taller, heavier, and she’s not exactly built for this—but she does her best, slipping an arm around your waist to support you.

your head drops forward, and you breathe slowly against her shoulder. danielle's heart races as she feels the warmth of your breath, and when you look up, your faces are inches apart, close enough that she can feel the heat radiating off you. her cheeks warm up, she wonders if your fever is contagious.

but she shakes it off, tightening her grip on you. “come on,” she whispers. “let’s get you to bed.”

you lead her to your room, and she’s a little surprised by how tidy it is. the walls are painted in soft, earthy tones, the furniture minimalistic and neatly arranged. polaroids and film photos cover the walls, snapshots of you and your friends, some of family, too. there’s a warmth to it, a sense of calm that she hadn’t expected. she notices a movie poster above your bed—something she doesn’t recognize. you collapse onto the bed immediately, curling up into a tight ball, yanking the nearest blanket over you with a groan.

danielle watches you for a moment, then quietly slips out of the room. you lie there, thoughts buzzing in your foggy mind. how did she know you were sick? why is she here? did she come just for you? did you forget something? but the craziest thought of all is that danielle is in your apartment, just the two of you. the realization sends a tiny thrill through your chest.

she returns a few minutes later, carrying a bowl, a bottle of medicine, and a thermometer. she sits beside you on the edge of the bed, nudging you over gently so you're lying flat on your back, your tired eyes meeting hers. she sets the bowl beside you and slides the thermometer into your mouth. you stare at her, feeling a bit dazed, and she offers a small, reassuring smile.

when it beeps, she pulls it out and checks the screen, her brow furrowing slightly. “you’ve got a fever, it’s pretty high,” she murmurs, setting the thermometer down and reaching for a water bottle. “i kind of went through your place to find this, i hope that’s okay.”

you nod weakly, letting her help you sit up on your elbows. she presses the bottle to your lips, and you sip slowly, a few drops spilling out and dribbling down your chin. you reach up, embarrassed, to wipe them away, but danielle just grins at you gently, wiping them with her sleeve.

she places the bottle down and dips her hand into the bowl. you lie back, too tired to care, hearing the soft sound of water being wrung out. then, without warning, she presses a cool, damp cloth to your forehead, and you wince at the sudden chill, a small whine escaping your lips. danielle clicks her tongue softly, using her thumb to swipe a stray drop of water away from the corner of your eye. 

“i know it’s cold, but it’ll help bring your fever down,” she explains gently.

you feel her hand slide down, and suddenly her fingers are wrapped around yours. her thumb brushes over your knuckles in slow, soothing circles, and you let out a shaky breath, feeling a warmth bloom in your chest. you hum softly, the tension easing out of your body.

"is it okay if i stay for a bit?" she asks quietly. "i don't want you to be alone, but this is your place, after all."

“p-please,” you whisper, gripping her hand tighter, needing the comfort. “please stay.”

she smiles warmly, nodding, and you feel the weight of her presence, steady and calming, beside you. “i’ll stay close then,” she promises softly. “don’t worry.”

—

you wake up with a low groan, feeling like you’ve just been hit by a bus. every muscle in your body aches, and your head throbs just a bit. blinking against the dim light filtering through the blinds, you sit up slowly, rubbing the sleep from your eyes. you look around, trying to get your bearings. 

your gaze falls on the bowl of water beside the bed, with two rags soaking in it, and the thermometer resting on the edge. memories from before you passed out come flooding back, and your cheeks heat up at the thought of danielle sitting by your side, taking care of you. your heart does a little flip at the memory, and you shake your head, trying to steady your thoughts.

there’s no sign of her in your room. she’s not in your bed, and you exhale a breath you didn’t realize you were holding. honestly, if you had woken up to find her next to you, you’re pretty sure your heart would’ve just exploded right then and there. 

with a bit more urgency than necessary, you get up and make your way to the living room. your steps are quiet as you peek around the corner, and there she is, curled up on the couch. she’s asleep, head resting on a pillow, her zip-up hoodie pulled over her legs like a makeshift blanket. the sight tugs at something in your chest, a mix of guilt and gratitude. she stayed the whole night.

you hurry back to your room, grabbing another blanket from your bed, and return to her side. you drape it over her carefully, making sure not to wake her. danielle shifts slightly, mumbling something you can’t quite make out. her face softens in sleep, and you find yourself smiling without meaning to. 

the morning light slips through the blinds, casting a warm glow across her face, illuminating the soft curve of her cheek, the way her lashes fan out against her skin. she looks peaceful, so pretty in the soft light, and you let yourself enjoy the sight for just a moment longer than you probably should.

you let out a small sigh and decide to leave her be, tiptoeing away quietly. but as you move, you can’t help but glance back one last time, her serene expression etched into your memory. then, feeling a strange mix of comfort and nerves, you head to your room to get yourself ready.

— 

danielle wakes up only thirty minutes after you, sitting up a minute after she’s blinked herself awake. she sits up and catches you on the floor by the coffee table, knees drawn to your chest, a bowl of fruit and two pieces of toast in front of you. her vision clears, and she catches you popping a blueberry into your mouth, scrolling absently through your phone.

"good morning..." she mutters, stretching and rubbing her eyes.

you turn at the sound of her voice, surprised to see her up already. she's quicker at waking up than you; you would have stayed in bed for another ten minutes at least, but the pounding in your head forced you up earlier. "hey, i didn’t think you’d stay the whole night."

“i just wanted to make sure you were alright," she explains, moving to sit next to you, mirroring your posture, knees tucked in. "i checked in on you during the night to change the rag on your head and everything, seems like you’re back to normal.”

“you didn’t have to, danielle,” you say, feeling a wave of gratitude mixed with embarrassment.

“but i wanted to.” she shrugs lightly, her eyes softening as she looks at you. “how are you feeling?”

“i took two advils before brushing my teeth," you say with a small smile. "feeling pretty great now.”

“i’m glad. your fever was pretty high.”

“was it?” you raise an eyebrow, grabbing a piece of strawberry and popping it into your mouth.

“yeah.” she picks a piece of kiwi from the bowl and eats it. “i was worried.”

you turn your head, meeting her gaze directly. her eyes look a bit tired, her face bare of makeup, but she still looks good—so natural, so effortlessly beautiful. a thought crosses your mind: you owe her for this, for being so kind and caring when she didn’t have to be.

";ast night i didn’t hear any loud noises from downstairs," danielle continues, “there wasn’t a party going on, and i got a little concerned.”

you chuckle, setting your phone aside, resting your cheek against your knee. “so you came because… there wasn’t a party?”

“it was pretty suspicious,” she insists with a playful grin. “then you opened the door looking like you’d just fought a bear, stumbling around. it was kind of funny, and cute.”

her compliment catches you off guard. you turn away quickly, pretending to be more interested in the fruit than you are. "thank you, danielle," you mumble. "i owe you."

“it’s nothing,” she says softly. "as long as you’re okay, that’s all that matters." her words feel like a direct hit to your heart, it’s as if cupid had a gun instead of a bow and shot you right in the chest, making you feel strangely warm and fluttery inside.

“you’re so… hey, what about your roommate? isn't she wondering where you are?”

“oh, hanni,” danielle giggles, checking her phone for any messages but finding none. “she was passed out before i left last night. it's not even ten yet, so she’s probably still asleep.” she stands up, and you rise with her, feeling a slight pang of disappointment. “but i should go check on her, and fix myself up. i probably look like a mess right now.”

you look perfect. it almost lips right off your tongue, but you manage to shut your mouth.

you lead her to the door, wishing she could stay a bit longer, just a little while more. “of course,” you say, feeling a knot tighten in your chest. “thank you again for everything.”

danielle places a gentle hand on your shoulder. “it’s nothing,” she says warmly. “i’ll see you around.”

you open the door, watching her step outside, but she turns back, hesitating. before she can say anything else, you speak first. "hey, danielle?"

“yes?”

“are you free later?”

“i’m free all day,” she replies, though she adds, “but i might run errands with hanni.”

“right, well.” you play with your hair nervously. danielle tilts her head, noticing the shift in your demeanor. “you should come over tonight. i’ll cook you dinner—to repay you, of course.”

she chuckles, a faint blush coloring her cheeks. “that’s quite intimate,” she teases. “is this your way of asking me out?”

“uh—” your heart races, but you nod, swallowing hard. “yes. and i'd hope your way of accepting is… coming over around six?”

danielle's smile widens, her eyes sparkling with amusement. “i’ll see you then, as long as you’re not sick again.”

“i’d count on that if it meant having you take care of me again.”

she glances away, hiding a smile, and you catch sight of the tiny moles on her face. "you're really good at this," she says softly.

“i’m really not,” you admit, “but it’s you, so i thought i’d try a little harder.”

she rolls her eyes playfully, then steps closer and presses a soft kiss to your cheek. your skin heats up instantly, heart racing faster than before. she pulls back with a grin, waving as she says, “see you tonight, six p.m.!”

“see you…” you reply, still stunned as you watch her walk down the hall. she glances back twice, each time your smiles mirroring and growing wider.

you wonder if you should cut down on the weekly parties, maybe dedicate more time to being with her. but that might be getting ahead of yourself. for now, all you know is that you have to prepare the best dinner ever tonight—something that might just earn you another kiss, maybe on the lips this time.

[butmakeitgayblog]

Too hot too cuddle for professor au!

I got several for this one, but this is the only one with specific au so I'm goin' with it 😌

////////////////

"I'm calling off tomorrow."

"No you're not. There's only two weeks left, you have to go."

"Why?"

"Finals are coming and all that. Think of the kids."

The night goes quiet as the too-warm breeze from the swivel fan at her side makes another circuit of the room.

"... Fuck them kids."

Clarke smiles at the grunt that's half-muffled into a pillow, her foot reaching out across the bed to nudge a calf that lays bare and sticky with a dusting of sweat. "You don't mean that."

"Right now I do," Lexa whines and readjusts for the tenth time in as many minutes. "It's too hot to move. It's too hot to think straight—"

"When have you ever done that anyway?"

"It's too hot to wear clothes."

"Now that I'm not complaining about," Clarke hums, reaching over to caress the curve of her girlfriend's perfectly crafted bubble butt.

She glances down at the toes that flex under the bit of sheet draped over Lexa's ankles and not another inch higher, because despite them both foregoing their normal nighttime attire and it really being too hot for any kind of bedding, Lexa had staunchly insisted that, quote, 'Sleeping with my feet uncovered just feels... wrong.' Unquote.

"Don't even think about getting frisky, Ms. Griffin" Lexa muffles into her pillow again as she reaches back to blindly point behind her in Clarke's general direction. "It's too hot for that too."

Clarke grabs the vaguely menacing finger and kisses it. "Just try and get some sleep, baby."

"Who can sleep like this?" Lexa lifts her head just enough to let out dramatic series of sobs before flopping back down. "I can't even cuddle my own girlfriend without it forming a gross, sticky skin paste."

Which was true. They had tried. And had predictably failed, much to Lexa's misery.

"We'll cuddle tomorrow night, baby. Right after the A/C guy leaves."

"That doesn't help me sleep tonight though, now does it?"

Clarke looks over to the mass of sweat-frizzed curls that lays splayed over the pillow beside her. "You're worse than Madi sometimes, you know that?"

"If Madi were here right now, she'd back me up."

"Mmm, technically if Madi were here right now, I think she'd just be horrified at seeing you splayed out butt-ass naked."

She laughs at the disgusted sound of Lexa's grunt as the hand in hers is yanked away.

"I should have failed you when I had the chance."

Clarke ignores her girlfriends antics and rolls over onto her back, sighing as the fan makes another pass and cools the fine sheen of sweat that coats her body.

The heat hangs over her like a cloud, thick and humid, seeping into her pores and settling heavy in her bones. She gives in to its weight, letting it pull her down into the sleepiness that had clung to her like a haze for the entire day.

She's just about to drift off into a restless, sweat-soaked slumber when she feels the bed shift as a hand drifts over... and lands right on her left breast.

Clarke doesn't even bother to open her eyes, just smiles and scootches over a bit, so the hand can lay in a more comfortable position to cup her.

"Better?"

The hand holding her breast gives a sleepy squeeze.

"... S'better."

[buckets-and-trees]

Field Guide to Forestry

We just hit another follower milestone, so since there are way too many of you around for me to put this off any longer, how about I officially let everyone know who I am and what you'll find around here...

CHIEF FORESTER: ASPEN Elder Millennial/upper 30s, she/her

THINGS ASPEN KNOWS WAY TOO MUCH ABOUT Trader Joe's, Disney Parks, the Great British Bake Off, CBS Survivor, Houseplants

IN THIS FIELD GUIDE YOU WILL FIND:

↠ Maps & Masterlists: my writing ↠ Forest Rules & Regulations: my guidelines and boundaries ↠ Visitors to the Forest: my approach to asks, requests, and tagging ↠ Upcoming Expeditions: projects I'm working on ↠ Tree Classification: my current tags ↠ Tales of the Teller: more about me and my writing

↠ THE FOREST OF FICS IN UPSTATE NEW YORK The MCU realm of my writing

↠ I do not interact with minors. It's not safe for anyone under 18 in these woods, and I'm honestly more comfortable knowing folks are over 21 because of the nature of things around here.

↠ I do not consent to having my works translated or posted to other platforms. If I wanted to, I would.

↠ I will block at my own discretion. This is my forest, and I set the boundaries. Underage? Blocked. Pornbot pigeon? Blocked. Bigotted? Blocked. Rude? Blocked. Just be a reasonable human over the age of 18, and you'll be free to roam the woods.

↠ ASKS Always open. I adore asks! Send thoughts, thots, questions, gifs, pics... Asks are NEVER a bother and you can ask about anything - questions about my existing works, stuff I'm working on, fandom things, my life... I'll answer within reason (no spoilers, I'm semi-open about my life but do keep some things private, etc). FULL DISCLOSURE: I'm not always prompt with answering them. Some have inspired fic or drabble ideas, and sometimes that writing goes fast, sometimes it goes slow, and there are a few that are sitting in my box that are "future" parts of current WIPs. But the hope is to always get to everything eventually.

↠ REQUESTS The only thing I'm actively entertaining requests for is my Cedar Trees Royal AU collection - but even these will be fulfilled subjectively and only as I have time and muse cooperation. Periodically I may host a request fest (as I did for my 300 follower celebration or for other occasions in the future).

↠ TAGLIST At this point in the growing season, I'm not maintaining an official taglist. In the future I will probably set up a secondary/library blog as many other authors have done where you can follow and turn on the notifications. There are only so many hours in the day, explorers.

↠ HOT BUCKY SUMMER 2024: thirteen weeks of prompts ↠ BUILD-A-BUCKY BINGO: twelve months of prompts ↠ THE GREAT BUCKY BAKE OFF: a Bucky x Reader episodic story with a Great British Bake Off format (coming fall 2024) ↠ ASPEN'S HOLIDAY EXTRAVAGANZA 2024: eight days of fics followed by one day of many, many fics (coming December 2024)

↠ FOREST NAVIGATION: field guide, masterlists, story collections ↠ AN ASPEN THING: when I post something more to do with me than anything fandom ↠ ASPEN MILESTONES: ONLY YOU CAN CREATE THESE FOREST FIRES ↠ ASKpen: responses to things from my ask box ↠ ASPEN IS WRITING: any commentary, sneak peaks, progress posts ↠ ASPEN WROTE SOMETHING: new writing post (fic, drabble, chapter) ↠ WRITER COMMENTARY: commentary either as a response to an ask or in a reblog ↠ OMG REBLOGGED THANK YOU: responding to or thanking people for reblogging my fics ↠ READING: my reblogs of other people's fics ↠ MY MOOTS: flailing about or responding to one of my mutual friends

↠ HISTORY OF ASPEN I grew up in a family that was steeped in all things stories: grandparents, aunts and uncles always telling stories at family gatherings; parents read to me before bed; watching too many movies and cartoons; staying up way past my bedtime trying to sneakily keep the light on to read and read and read; playing elaborate imagination games after school with my best friends (house, princesses, orphans, dance coaches, etc). I wrote my first story in my eighth grade English class where one day in the computer lab we were assigned to write a mystery that was at least one page. I loved it. My teacher said it was good...

That summer our family moved - mere days before I started my freshman year of high school - so that fall before I made friend friends, I read a lot and I started writing. I was desperate for the next Harry Potter book to come out, so I started writing my own... the next year I learned about fan fiction on the internet and that it was a thing. I was drawn into Lord of the Rings fanfic, then I wrote a Pirates of the Caribbean fanfic, and then I went back to Harry Potter and actively wrote in that fandom for around six years.

In college I majored in English with an emphasis in Creative Writing because while I was writing fan fiction, I was also occasionally dabbling with original fiction... the dream was to be a famous writer.

↠ WHY BUCKETS-AND-TREES Buckets because I thought I'd be writing almost exclusively Bucky and Trees because Aspen. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

↠ ASPEN NOW In summer of 2022 I aggressively reclaimed HAVING hobbies in an effort to re-establish Aspen having a life outside of work. I love my career and I've worked incredibly hard to establish myself in the professional world, but... I needed to be more than just my work again.

So, again I write.

Throughout 2023 I started venturing out and participated in A LOT of challenges, which was so much fun in pushing my creative boat out into new waters. In 2024 I plan to DO THE DAMN THING and write a novel. I've always intended to, but 2024 will be the year. ↠ MY WORK Primarily I'm writing MCU fan fiction - typically Bucky Barnes or Steve Rogers; I have written some pieces with Sam, Natasha, Matt Murdock, Namor, and Wanda; I have some ideas for Thor, Carol, and M'Baku that I may or may not get around to. I've written for a slew of Sebastian Stan and Chris Evans characters and that's mostly where my muse lives.

I write a range of fluff, smut, and dark. Nearly all of my work has mature elements whether that's stronger language, sexual situations, or mature themes. HEED THE WARNINGS FOR EACH WORK AND DO NOT READ IT IF IT'S SOMETHING YOU DON'T LIKE. If I miss tagging something properly in the content warnings, please send me a message or an anonymous ask and let me know.

Most of my stories feature a reader insert. Reader is typically female, but when the reader is gender neutral I will designate accordingly! Striving to write an inclusive reader as much as possible, but if I stumble, please send me a message or an anonymous ask and let me know how I can grow.

[kitorin]

11:47 pm - a.touya

warning for underage drinking, but it's not extreme + unrealistic depiction of alcohol (getting drunk super easily)

"I think he's drunk."

An comments on Touya's current state, exhausted yet blissed out, silver irises zoning out and paying no heed to everything surrounding him.

"Probably." Akito agrees with her, blinking with confusion. Him and Kohane glance at each other, evidently concerned and soon frowning at An.

"You can't blame me— he's never tried alcohol before and asked for it." She retaliates with her arms crossed. "How was I supposed to predict this?"

Akito sighs at the ludicrosity of the dilemma.

"To be fair, you wouldn't really expect someone to get drunk that easily." Though you're defending An you can't deny that it was a stupid decision, this is exactly why Ken looked reluctant to leave the five of you at their place.

Touya finally speaks. "What? 'm not drunk."

Scoffing, Akito responds first. "Says the guy zoning out at his drink and gettin' flushed red."

"... the bubbles look pretty." Only proves Akito's statement.

"You're an idiot at times." Akito mumbles.

And for some reason Touya only bothers to acknowledge that. "But look!" He points the glass to his friend, almost spilling it, Akito reacts faster and pries it out of his hand.

"I'm sure they look very pretty, Touya." He grumbles under his breath, placing the glass out of his reach. Another glare is shot at An, who raises her hands in defeat.

"He wanted to try it!"

"None of us are over eighteen." Livid yet worried, Akito sighs. "Oi, what's the best lie for this situation. He can't go home like this."

"We could tell Ken that he fell asleep? And it's quite late already."

Silently, you thank the gods for Kohane's idea. "Ken's fine with us sleeping over without notice too. We'll be fine."

But An objects. "We are not lying to my dad."

Akito scowls, irritation overpowering concern. "Too bad."

She crosses her arms. "But that's unethical."

"You know what's unethical? Underaged drinking."

An shrugs, as if she weren't the cause of all of this. "It's legal when it's at home."

"With an adult." Touya still seemed dazed out, not heeding mind to the way both An and Akito were yelling. "Your dad wouldn't've let this happen."

"Kohane's basically an adult with her maturity?"

"Don't even try saying that. You let him drink while she was showering and while y/n and I went out to buy snacks."

As the two bicker, Kohane pinches your sleeve for your attention. "Should we stop them? Whether Aoyagi's okay or not is a priority."

In agreement you nod, accompanied by an exhausted sigh. "How about we bring Touya upstairs, to one of your guest rooms." Both An and Akito halt their arguing, intently listening to you. "He's probably just tipsy. He should be fine by the morning." Kohane nods, leaning down to eye level with Touya, who was slumped in his seat.

"Aoyagi, let's go." But he doesn't oblige, whining with soft incoherency instead. "Please?" Her plead is futile, as it goes completely ignored by Touya.

Akito steps forth. "I'll carry him." Toned arms reach for Touya's, the action only being reciprocated by a lazy slap.

"Mean."

He sighs for the nth time. "'m not mean, c'mon." It's futile though, Touya fights back, messily, his sloppy movements were enough to prevent Akito from being able to pick him up properly.

"I'll carry him." You volunteer, and thankfully Touya surrenders to you, relaxing as you haul him onto your back. "First guest room right?"

After nodding and beginning to clean up, An breathed out an apology and thank you, Akito gives up on scolding her, settling down on a seat next to Kohane.

Despite how tall he is, Touya was ridiculously light, allowing you to effortlessly carry him upstairs.

"You need to eat more..." And of course he doesn't respond. Soon you're carefully placing him in bed, searching for any signs of something wrong. You shield him from the cold with the blanket, watching him instinctively curl up into a ball.

"Are we alright now?" Everything seems to be fine, his face is still flushed red and he's basically unconscious, but he's not whining nor complaining. A lack of an answer tells to you to hurry up and leave, even if you already know he's unable to reply. "I'll go then. Good night Touya."

A tight grip on your wrist prevents you from leaving.

"What's wrong?"

"I need you here." He hiccups, now fully conscious.

"Why?"

"Because you're the best." He hiccups again.

"You're just saying that because you're drunk." You redirect his hand to himself, placing it by his side.

Pearly irises of silver stare at you, pleading for you to oblige his request. "No. It's because I like you."

You choke on your own spit at the declaration. "That's enough, just sleep." You've never encountered a drunk person, and it's unfortunate that Touya's the first because of an immature decision An made.

"Only if you'll stay."

Even when he turns eighteen, you note to yourself to never let him get drunk.

But it was refreshing to see Touya behave so childishly. For the time you've known him he's always been so adultlike, stoic and cold—juxtaposing the way An and Akito bicker, or Kohane's tendency to remain glued to a window whenever something piques her interest. The question has always plagued your thoughts, was it simply his personality or did his household not provide the luxury of being a child?

With a sigh you indulge in his request, sitting down on the bed. "You're kind of silly when you're drunk, you know?"

"'m not drunk! You're being like Akito."

"Like Akito?"

"Mean."

You remain silent, but you're stifling a laugh. It doesn't take long for you to give in, bursting out into laughter. "I promise I'm not mean. That's always going to be Akito's job."

"Then stop ignoring my feelings."

The first time it seemed like drunk non sense, drowsy and mindless. But the second time feels different, whether it be the genuine pout of his lips or the solemnity intertwined with his tone.

"It's not fairrr." Touya doesn't bother waiting for a response from you, rambling on while you listen carefully. "I like you so much but you're so far ahead. You're too pretty, how am I supposed to live without you? You're my safe place where I don't have to think about piano or dad. You're so good at sports, and smart, and speaking to people, you've even had alcohol before already."

Is that why he wanted to try some today...?

"You've had alcohol before too, dumbass." He only throws the blanket over his head, out of embarrassment.

"Do you like me too?"

The question repeats in your head, and the answer is obvious to you.

You arise from the bed, kneeling next to it where Touya was cowering underneath the blanket. "I do."

He peeps out of the covers, face wrapped in the doona, silver eyes wide with surprise. "Really?"

"Yes, but I'm not talking to you until you sleep properly, okay?"

Like an eager child, he falls for the bribery, closing his eyes and mumbling out a 'good night'. You reciprocate it, carefully tip toeing in order to let him sleep undisturbed— and on your way to deal with another problem, this time in the form of a certain musician who has a thing for drama.

"And then, you confessed! We got curious and listened through the door."

Touya averts his gaze, instead staring at the cup of black coffee warming his palms. Rose is chalked all over his cheeks as he listens to An recounting last night's events.

"By 'we' she means her." Akito grumbles while sipping from his hot chocolate. "I don't get why she's so obsessed. Congratulations though."

An throws an arm around you. "You should've seen the look on his face when Touya called him mean."

Akito opens his mouth to object, but Kohane speaks first.

"That must've been amazing though, if drinking gave you that much confidence to confess like that."

"Well it wasn't really confidence if I wasn't thinking at all, is it?" The conversation only permeates his cheeks into a darker pink.

"Did you like how alcohol tasted?" Legitimate curiosity is scrawled on her expression and traced onto her tone. "What's being drunk like?"

This time, Akito interrupts Touya. "Who knows? Wanna test it out? Maybe then you'll have the courage to confess to Shiraishi?" The comment leaves you and Touya shocked, eyes flitting between the three of them. An stares at Kohane, whom is already running away with her bag.

"Oi Kohane—come back!" With haste she pulls off her apron and sprints around the counter, tossing it god knows where. "Wait—"

Akito chuckles at the ordeal— the chaos he caused. "Oops. My bad."

(you both know that was damn intentional)

taglist (send an ask to be added) : @yuzurins, @pokkomi

© kitorin : do not repost, plagiarize, change, or translate

[mamaestapa]

Two Can Play At That Game

•pairing: Joe Burrow x reader

•series summary: Y/N Y/L/N moved to Cincinnati, Ohio for a new start. Move in day arrives and she discovers something terrible...the apartment complex gave her the wrong lease. Instead of living with who she originally was supposed to, she's now living with the hottest quarterback in the NFL, Joe Burrow. Y/N is stuck living in the same apartment with him for a year...which the two are not thrilled about. However, as time goes on, they realize that maybe this wasn't the worst thing that could happen to them. Will Y/N and Joe stay enemies, or will they find themselves falling in love?

•chapter summary: You and Joe go back and forth doing things that bother one another and you get a surprise gym buddy ;)

•word count: 3.1k

•warnings: Language, mentions of condoms and sex, i think that’s all?

Series Masterlist

——————————————————

October 12, 2022

it's been one month since you’ve moved in with Joe. You are basically living the dream that all of the girls in America have right now.

You keep telling yourself it will get better, but you’re not too confident that it will. It's going to take a miracle for you and Joe to become friends.

It's not like you two are enemies or anything like that, You just know how to irritate one another. You started it, on accident of course, when you first moved in.

Remember the pink towels in the bathroom? And the situation with you moving his Sponge bob shoes and condoms from the kitchen counter?

Yeah, well, you’re convinced he still holds a grudge against you for both of those things.

Since that first week, you and Joe have been going back and forth with each other. Both of you doing things that you know will annoy the other.

a few weeks ago...

You were sitting on the couch, watching this weeks episode of The Bachelorette. As you were curled up on the couch, you decided you needed to get a snack.

You cant watch TV late at night without having a snack.

You walked into the kitchen and rummaged through the pantry, trying to find a snack. As you were going through the pantry, you could see wrappers laying on the counter next to the bananas out of the corner of your eye. You closed the pantry and looked to see what was on the counter. You rolled your eyes at the sight.

Condoms. Lots and lots of condoms.

You had just gotten after Joe a few weeks ago about not keeping his condoms in the kitchen.

You picked up one of the wrappers, immediately throwing it to the ground when you noticed it was ripped open and empty.

Good to know he's at least using protection. You don't need any kids running around this place, dealing with Joe is quite enough for you.

"Joe!" you called, placing your hands on your hips.

You heard his bed squeak, signaling that he had just gotten out of bed. His door opened and he walked down the hallway, stopping in front of the kitchen entrance.

"What do you want?"

You rolled your eyes and gestured to the condoms on the counter.

"Oh," he chuckled, "sorry about that."

He walked into the kitchen and picked up the condoms.

"I should be keeping these in here." he said, opening the drawer next to the pantry and throwing them in there.

You put your hand on the handle, stopping him from closing it.

"What?"

You scoffed, "What!?"

He looked at you, confused.

"Joe, I told you not to keep your condoms," you picked up a handful of the trojan wrappers and threw them at his chest, "in the kitchen!"

"Did you? Heh, must've slipped my mind then." He teased, knowing damn well you told him to keep the condoms somewhere other than out in the open in the kitchen.

He was just trying to get under your skin.

You rolled your eyes, "God you're so inconsiderate."

He raised his eyebrows and pointed at himself, "I'm the inconsiderate one? How about you little miss, let's keep my tampons under Joe's side of the sink. OH! Even better, how about putting your thongs in my laundry basket?!"

You scoffed and sighed before saying, “Okay, first of all, it's my bathroom too. I accidentally put them on your side, but they're just tampons? But whatever, I've moved them, so you're welcome. And second of all, if you're talking about that bright pink thong, it's not even mine!"

Joes face dropped, "It's not?"

"Nope." you said with a straight face, "I think it's Amelia's. Remember, the girl that threw the condom at you?"

He sighed, "Yeah, yeah I remember."

You grabbed the rest of the condoms and put them in Joe's hands, "You don't have the best of luck getting laid when these are in our kitchen." you pat his hands and look into the pantry, grabbing the jar of peanut butter pretzels. You looked at him with an amused smirk as he stood there speechless.

"So maybe, you should keep 'em in your room." you said before walking back into the living room, continuing to watch The Bachelor.

end of flashback...

Since the condom ordeal, you started to retaliate and do things that you know get under Joe's skin too. You figured two could play at that game...

a few weeks ago...

You were folding clothes in your bedroom when you heard your name called from somewhere in the apartment.

You smiled to yourself knowing Joe must've found out what you did. You walked out of your room, seeing Joe standing in the doorway of the bathroom with his arms crossed and an unamused look on his face.

"What's wrong?" you asked, crossing your arms as you walked over to him.

"Y/n, your makeup is all over the bathroom."

You looked into the bathroom, a smirk quirking up at the side of your mouth. You had your brushes laying out scattered on the counter, your blush by Joe's toothbrush, your three different mascaras laying next to the hand soap, and your makeup bag placed in Joe's drawer.

"Oops." you shrugged, turning around and walking away. Joe shook his head and reached out to stop you from walking away.

"No, no, no."

You turned around, crossing your arms in front of your chest and looking up at him. His pretty blue eyes looking into yours intensely.

"You're not just going to leave it laying around, I thought I told you to put it-." he sighed as he saw the smirk on your lips.

"This is all because of the condoms, isn't it?"

You furrowed your eyebrows, "Why would you ever think such a thing?" you asked incredulously. You couldn't hide the smile making its way onto your face.

He shook his head, "I can't believe you."

You shrugged and walked into the bathroom, putting your makeup into the right spot.

"Maybe if you kept your things where they're supposed to be," you grabbed your makeup bag and walked back to the doorway, stopping in front of Joe, "maybe I'll do the same with mine."

You looked into his eyes and smiled at him before walking back to your bedroom. Joe just watched in disbelief as you walked away from him.

What you didn't know though, was that this going back and forth with each other was just getting started.

end of flashback...

You know it may be childish of you to retaliate and do things to bother Joe, but he started it!

It's only fair that you do the same to him. You know what gets under his skin, he knows what gets under yours. If he wants to be difficult, then hell, you can be difficult too.

Living with each other hasn't exactly been sunshine and rainbows—for either of you. You might as well have a little fun messing with each other, right?

Oh, that reminds you, Joe's condoms and your makeup aren't the only things you have done to make each other mad.  There's more…

Last week...

You stood from your bed, rubbing your tired eyes as you walked to the bathroom. It was around five o'clock in the morning when you woke up and had to pee. You were half asleep when you walked into the bathroom, squinting as the bright light hit your eyes. You didn't bother to shut the door, knowing Joe was sound asleep and there was no way he'd be awake right now.

You pulled your sleep shorts down and sat down, definitely not expecting to fall into the toilet?!

You let out a yelp as you felt your bare ass fall into the water of the toilet.

Damnit, Joe! He left the toilet seat up again!

You stood from the toilet and groaned loudly, reaching for a towel to wipe the water off of your lower half. As you were wiping your leg off you heard a gasp. Your head shot up and you dropped the towel, immediately covering your lady bits.

"Oh my god!" Joe gasped, his eyes wide.

This was just like when you caught him on the couch after his date.

"What are you doing?" you shrieked, face turning red in embarrassment.

"What am I doing? What are you doing? You're the one that's half naked with the door wide open at five in the fuckin' morning!"

"I had to pee!" you exclaimed, trying to situate yourself so you could cover your parts while you tried to pull your panties back up. Joe covered his eyes and turned around when he saw you just slightly move one of your hands.

You pulled your panties and sleep shorts up quickly, snapping the waistband of your shorts against the skin of your belly. Joe turned around and uncovered his eyes since he knew you were decent.

"You," you said, pointing at him, "left the toilet seat up again, so I fell in."

He chuckled, "You fell in? Seriously?"

You rolled your eyes, "It's not funny, Joe!"

"I mean, come on," he smirked, "It's kind of funny."

You hufffed out a sigh of annoyance, "Shut up. No it's not."

He chuckled and walked away, going into the kitchen and turning the light on to get his pre-work out. After you flushed the toilet and washed your hands, you walked out of the bathroom and went back into your room. As you were walking past the kitchen, Joe chuckled and said, "Sorry about the toilet seat Y/n, I'll try to put it down next time."

You just kept walking, too annoyed and too tired to even respond to him.

Joe left the toilet seat up three more times that week.

That same week...

After the problems with the toilet seat, you decided to retaliate and do something that every man hates.

You made the apartment smell like girl.

All of Joe's "manly smells" were covered and replaced with the best fragrance from Bath and Body Works: Champagne Toast.

While Joe was at practice, you lit three champagne toast candles around the apartment. One in the living room, one in the kitchen, and one in the bathroom. Once you had the candles lit, you put out the champagne toast hand soap you had just bought a few days ago. You grabbed your perfume bottle and doused yourself and the furniture with it. You looked at the time on your watch, seeing that Joe would be back at the apartment any minute now. You grabbed the book you were currently reading and sat down on the couch, pretending to read as the door to the apartment opened.

As soon as Joe walked in he immediately started coughing. You bit back a smile as you put the book down.

"Oh god," He coughed, "It smells like a bowl of fruit died in here."

You laughed, "You really think it smells bad?"

He shrugged walking further into the apartment, going into the kitchen and picking up the candle that was burning. He put it up to his nose and sniffed it, cringing as the smell of champagne toast hit his nose.

Joe put the candle down, "It's not that it smells bad, it just, very strong."

He walked into the bathroom, letting out a groan as he saw another candle and the hand soap.

"Y/n, why do you have this scent in every room?” He asked as he walked out of the bathroom, holding the hand soap.

"Because this place needs to not smell like you all the time?"

Joe scoffed, looking offended.

"I think I smell great."

"I didn't say you smelled bad, I just said it needs to smell like something other than you." You shrugged.

"So you think spraying your perfume all over and making the place smell like," he inspected the soap, "champagne toast, is a good idea?"

You shot him a puzzled look, "Yeah?"

He sighed, "I can't have this place smelling like a bowl of fruit ripped ass all over the apartment when the guys come over."

He was being so dramatic over a stupid bath and body works scent.

You sighed and stood from the couch, picking up the bottle of perfume. "Fine, I won't spray it or light any more candles."

"Thank you."

You started walking in Joe's direction, giving him a tight lipped smile as you got closer. He looked down at you and without breaking eye contact as you walked by, you lifted the bottle of perfume and sprayed him with it.

"What the fuck Y/n!?” Joe gasped, pulling his gray t-shirt away from his body.

You just laughed as you walked to your room to put the bottle of perfume away. It was hilarious to see him get so worked up over a little bottle of perfume.

He may think you’re getting rid of the smell, but you truly don't care what Joe wants. The apartment WILL smell like champagne toast as long as you’re around.

end of flashback...

You have to admit, it has been fun messing with eachother. Except, you didn't enjoy falling into the toilet that much.

Other than messing around with Joe, not much has really happened. You’ve been working at CincyStyles and hanging out with Macee a lot. The two of you have become quite good friends already even though you’ve only known each other for a few weeks.

She's such a kind person. You’re so glad you have her as a friend to help you here in Cincinnati.

There is one thing you forgot to mention…remember that conversation with Evan after the game a couple weeks ago?

Well, you two have actually been texting each other quite a bit.

Evan is so sweet, constantly asking you how you are and if you’re enjoying Cincinnati. Not only is he sweet, but he has a great sense of humor and he's such a cutie. You know you said you weren’t ready to get into a relationship yet, but you’d be willing to see where things go with Evan.

Who knows, maybe you’ll be the Bengals new hot couple.

But you'll see how things go, of course.

You were making yourself a protein shake when you heard your phone ding. You picked it up, smiling when you saw that you received a text from Evan.

Evan- Hey Y/n! You busy right now?

You- Hey! I'm actually getting ready to head to the gym

Joe walked out of his bedroom and into the kitchen as you hit send and put your phone down. He opened the refrigerator and grabbed a bottle of water before he walked over to the stove and turned the light on.

Your phone dinged. You picked it up and read the text from Evan. Blushing deeply from his response.

Evan- Need a gym buddy? ;)

I felt bold, so I decided to respond back in a somewhat flirty manner

You- Only if it's you ;)

Evan- Who else would it be? lol see you soon

You shut your phone off and set it down on the counter. You started feeling nervous as you realized this would be the first time you’ve seen Evan in person since the game. You let out a sigh and looked over at Joe, who was standing by the stove with an amused look on his face as he watched you text Evan.

"Somebody is flustered." He mused, crossing his arms.

You just shook your head and laughed at his teasing.

"Who's got you so worked up?" Joe smirked.

You shrugged, grabbing your shaker bottle and closing the lid as you spoke, "Nobody. Just a friend."

You watched as his lips formed a straight line as you grabbed your phone from the counter and slipped it into the pocket of your leggings. You walked around the corner to the entry way and you put on your Nikes. You grabbed your AirPods, holding those in one hand and the shaker bottle in the other.

"I'm going to the gym, I'll see you in a bit."

Joe nodded, "Sounds good. Want me to leave some chicken and rice for you?"

You nodded, smiling softly at him, "Yeah, that'd be great. Thanks Joe."

"You're welcome." He turned around and gave all of his attention to preparing dinner.

It was a nice gesture for him to make dinner for the both of you. You have done the same thing for him a few times before. Even though you two do things to get on each others nerves, you’re still considerate of one another when it comes to things like dinner or grocery shopping.

You walked out of the apartment and headed to your car, driving to the gym that was only a few miles away. As soon as you got into the building you saw Evan over by the dumbbells. A wide grin graced his face as he saw you walk up to him.

"Hey Y/n!” He greeted, pulling you into a hug.

You smiled, "Hi Evan. Thanks for joining me."

The two of you pulled away, a faint blush was on Evans cheeks as he looked down at you.

"Of course," he said, "I figured you could use a workout partner."

You nodded, "I do. I hate working out alone."

Evan chuckled, "You and me both. I find myself doing better when I have other people with me."

"Same here." you replied. You looked over to your left and noticed there was a mirror along the wall. You decided it would be the perfect spot to take a picture. You figured you’d mess with some of your friends and post a picture of you and Evan together.

"Here, come take a picture with me." you said, gesturing for him to come over to where you were standing in front of the mirror.

He smiled, "Okay." He walked over to where you were standing, he looked at the camera as you held up a thumbs up and captured the picture.

You posted the picture to your Instagram story and put your phone into your pocket.

"Ready?" Evan asked with a smile.

"Yup." you said, walking over to the bench and starting your workout with Evan.

Little did you know that this workout with Evan would eventually create a whole lot of problems...

hey loves!!

this was actually so bad i am so sorry lmao.

i had an idea and i just went with it, didn't really have any direction for it i just kind of started writing lmao

how do we think joe is going to feel when he finds out about you and evan working out together?

we'll have to wait and see ;)

BUT the next chapter is going a fun one...it's everyone's favorite...a guys chat!

i haven't written chats in a little while, so bear with me lol. but it'll be a fun chapter for sure!

ALSO my parents got me a joe burrow jersey and joe burrow socks for my birthday. literally the best gifts ever, my parents are the sweetest<3

hope you're all doing well and enjoying this story<3

lots of love

[snugglebug-92]

walking in on Rutger fucking another girl in the bed you share, he is trying beg for you back but then Nolan sends him a snap of you in his bed messy hair and hickies

NSFW content

You had just gotten back to your house after a long day of classes and work. You saw Rutger's moped in your driveway so you quickly grab everything out of your car before dropping it off on the couch. You shower figuring he was probably sleeping or doing homework since he hadn't come down and none of your roommates had come down to say anything. You make him a sandwich knowing he hadn't eaten since he got there who knows how long ago.

As you walk into your room wearing one of his sweatshirts and a messy bun not bothering to put pants on your scream. The plate falls to the floor as you see your boyfriend plowing into another girl from behind.

"Shit sorry wrong room," you squeak running out of the room tears streaming down your face. You hear a few doors open before your best friend Hannah comes upstairs.

"Girl what the fuck- oh my gosh are you okay," she questions taking in your state.

"Rut with a girl in my room," is all you can get out before you completely break down. Hannah's face turns to an unreadable expression as Rutger comes barreling down the stairs.

"Baby I'm so sorry please let me explain," Rutger says pulling you into his arms.

"No," you say pushing him away.

"Baby, what do you mean no?" he questions.

"No no no," you say as you run out of the house. You drive to Nolan's knowing he could help you. Your brother always said if you needed anything you could go to Nolan's. You knock on the door and Jay answers before taking in your appearance.

"Shit summers what happened to you," Jay questions.

"Nollie," you sniffle hoping he would understand that you just wanted the boy. Jay ushers you in the house and sits you on the couch. He sits down on the couch next to you as he waits for Nolan to get home.

"Hey, guys why is y/n's car in the driveway?" Nolan questions when he gets home 45 minutes later.

"She's not doing good. She just fell asleep but Rutger cheated on her. She's in your room," Jay says before going to his room. Nolan goes up stairs quietly. He slides his shirt off tossing it in the hamper before taking his jeans off and placing them over his desk chair. You stir as he walks out of the room to go shower. When he comes in just a towel you almost moan. You always thought Nolan was hot but he was off-limits. Not only was he your older brother's teammate but you also have or well had a boyfriend. Nolan not knowing you were up drops his towel giving you a full view of his ass. Nolan walks to his dresser to grab a pair of boxers. He slides them on before climbing into bed next to you. He wraps his arm around you and you slowly grind backward against his dick. His arm moves to grip your hip holding you in place.

"Sunshine, are you sure you want to do that?" he moans against your neck.

"Nolan please," you whisper as Rutger calls your phone. You decline the call and straddle Nolan.

"Look sunshine I'm fine if you want to use me to get over Rutger. If you me to fuck you so you can get over him I'll do that. But I don't want to make things weird," he says cupping your jaw.

"Please, Nolan. I just want to feel okay," you say dropping your forehead against his.

"I can make you feel good," he says sliding his hands under your sweatshirt. You grind your hips against his and a switch flips. He places kisses along your jaw leaving hickey after hickey. He takes your sweatshirt off and cups your breasts before leaving a trail of hickeys to your left breast. He sucks your boob before continuing down to your panty line.

"Fuck Nol please do something," you moan. He pulls your panties down and runs a finger through your folds before slowly inserting it in you. You are just about cumming when your phone rings again.

"I'll get it," Nolan says continuing to finger you. What you didn't know was he answered the phone. Rutger starts rambling when he realized you picked up. While Ruger continues to ramble Nolan takes his boxers off before rolling on a condom. He rubs his tip through your folds while moaning out his name.

"Baby, are you at Nolan?" Rutger questions. Nolan slams into you and your eyes roll back into your head. Nolan continues to thrust into you while Rutger keeps rambling about how sorry he is and how it was a mistake.

"Holy shit Nolan right there," you moan out catching Rutger's attention again.

"Baby, what are you doing?" Rutger questions not understanding what's going on. After a few seconds of you not responding he hangs up and starts on his way to Nolans.

"Fuck you feel so good around me," Nolan moans out.

"I'm gonna cum," you moan. Nolan drops his hand to circle your clit as you clench around his dick. Nolan's hips sputter as he cums in the condom before pulling out of you.

You turn to look at your phone and see texts from Rutger asking if you are at Nolan's and saying he's on his way. You show Nolan and the texts. He just shrugs.

"Wanna send him a picture of the aftermath?" Nolan laughs.

"Okay," you laugh as Nolan sends Rutger a picture of you covered in hickeys.

[shallowseeker]

I don't really agree with your demon dean takes but i find them interesting

K. Much of this is just my lens and experience, you know? My beloved brain-addled Gramps grabbed my ass one day from his hospital bed. Was that his "true self?"

Basically, I don't buy into the whole, "release your inhibitions" wholesale. Inhibitions taken to extremes can be bad, sure, like how they are rigidly enforced with angels. On the flipside, I don't think disinhibition is automatically "good" or "your super-duper secret true self." Inhibitions are actually a key component of decision-making and free will.

I don't actually disagree with other takes on Demon Dean. I let most of them co-exist in my head. They're fun. A) I just see this particular take less often, and I like it. B) It gives me a shit-ton of mileage in filtering the side stories of the season:

DEAN HATED BEING A DEMON

Dean talks about how he hated becoming a demon, and he asks Cas to kill him if he goes darkside again.

As a demon, Dean doesn't actually act like himself; he mistreats the girl he sleeps with, which is not his MO at all.

He sings badly, and the Dean we know is into music even since Robin and sings quite well.

He's not his full integrated self, he's often disinhibited, bitter, and numb.

It's a callback to his original trauma in Hell, "being carved into a new animal." Hell, it's an odious nod to Alastair.

There are glimmers of his soul fighting to get out. Moments of lucidity, you might say.

He thanks Cas for, "stepping in when you did." Another callback to Dean's original Hell rescue.

via @silver-stake-through-the-heart - he didn’t care about Baby! “She was just a car.” Dean didn’t care about Baby or himself. He became an animal with no interiority that requires no tenderness, like “just a dumb car.”

LOSS OF CONTROL; DISORGANIZED PSYCHOLOGY

During season 10, Dean has recurring nightmares about the loss of control.

...because he hated being a demon beholden to instinct, sundered from his own emotions. (It's a parallel to Naomi's super-soldier-Cas.)

That's what killing the human traffickers was really about; if Dean had lined them up and executed them under his own free will with full faculties, it wouldn't have bothered anyone.

Like when Mary views Jack's torture-kill in season 14, it's about the "kill signature." And well, the loss of control does have some research to back it up when it comes to assessing a worsening disorganized psychology. Mary is a lifelong hunter and would be hip to recognizing the signs of a hunter losing himself/losing touch with reality.

As much as I love to joke about Dean trying to crack Sam's skull open with a hammer, that's not what Dean really wants. In this scene, he becomes a specter of Lucifer/Nick Vaught (a former mark bearer; known for his volatility and impulse issues).

PIMPS & PROSTITUTES & ROOFIES

Randy/Claire/Salinger-the-human-trafficker is parallel to Crowley/Dean/Cain-the-father-of-murder.

Claire loves Randy as Dean loves Crowley: he seemed kind and like he was giving Dean new purpose & support...at first. Randy showed remorse after he threw Claire to the wolves. He still "loved" Claire, probably. Same with Crowley. (Horribly, I'm 99% sure Claire would have forgiven Randy, too, eventually.)

Like how Claire forgave Cas, ofc. Claire will take any scrap of affection. Literally, the way past her defenses is just to give a damn, no matter what else has happened.

Raoul-the-pimp-soul-collector-that-Rowena-kills & Shaylene-the-prostitute is definitely a parallel to Crowley & Dean, right down to the brutal capitalism of Hell's soul deals.

Dean's story about John "saving" him from what is surely a close encounter with being roofied is a nod to Dean's sexual abuse as a minor, even though Dean plays it off as sexy, fun, and cool. Part of me thinks John actually walked in on a drugged-up-teen-Dean being statutory-raped by a bunch of adults. Or at the very least, sexually assaulted.

He feels like John set him up to be vulnerable and then turned around and shamed him harshly for becoming damaged goods.

SHAME & SUICIDE

This is why there's this constant swirl of SHAME and SUICIDE with regard to Dean's time as Demon Dean and becoming a knight of Hell through the Mark of Cain.

Dean even emphasizes some of the friendly, cute moments. It's the same way he retells the bar story as being Super Cool. Even Sam thinks his retelling of CBGB is a heartwarming tale. A lighthearted “summer of love,” if you will. Sam doesn’t get it. He never will.

DEAN: Somehow, we convince him to let us go. So, we all go. We all, you know, see all the sights, and uh, ride the subway, eat too much pizza. The whole nine. Well, by about midnight, Sam and Dad are zonked, and I figure… Screw it. I’m going to CBGB. All right, so I get there. I sneak in, and it is nuts. I mean, people are drinking and they’re smoking and they’re—they’re snorting whatever. There’s a five-hundred pound guy on stage with a Mohawk just screaming. And, uh, my mind is blown. I don’t even know what to do. Then this girls walks up and she says “Hey, why don’t you come over and sit down with me and my friends at our table?” All right! SAM: Yeah, and they get him drunk. First time. DEAN: But not fun drunk. I’m not quite sure what was in that stuff, but the room starts to spin, and I feel like I’m going to puke … forever. And right about that time, I hear him. “Dean Winchester!” ...My old man. I don’t know how, but he found me. And now I’m really freaking out, because he’s just standing there, not saying anything. I look around, and everybody else is freaking out, too. In fact, nobody’s even looking him in the eye. And finally, this one guy with, like, a safety pin through his nose and a—a “Kill Everything” tattoo looks up and he says, “Sorry, sir.”

So yeah, Demon Dean wasn't a positive experience on the whole, even though he, parallel to Claire, pretty much forgives everyone about it. She, too, is a heart character.

He only reveals how much he hated it...to Cas, really.

DISINHIBITION (REDUX)

This disinhibition of the mark rears its head again when Dean visits the college campus and makes comments about the girls there. That's not an accident of writing; it's a neon sign for how demon Dean and MoC!Dean acts, and why.

That's not in line with the Dean we've known in seasons prior OR after. It's simply...inappropriate disinhibition. Like a frontotemporal injury. Not the true self.

Dean beats on people as revenge for how he was wronged, too. If you look closely, he beats on Cas in a very similar way to how Cas beat on him in seasons 5 & 8.

Much of his behavior is an outpouring of those times Dean felt powerless in his life.

SLUTS, VALIDATION & VICTIMIZATION

Then, we have Mr. McKinley and the "slut daughter," Rose.

Dean says, "And you know what? I don't blame Rose anymore. No wonder she put on that skank outfit and went out there looking for validation, right into the arms of the monster that killed her."

Dean is finally unleashing his anger about what happened to him re: Cain and re: the CBGB incident.

For all his talk of "making Claire tougher," he's looking at how vulnerable he was, and he's finally starting to process the magnitude of that.

This is probably why he's not acting as outlandishly sexual in the later seasons, as much as I'd like to put it down to Cas's presence (Cas's presence is certainly meaningful).

But actually, it's that Dean processed why he acted in a certain way, and he's reflected on how it actually made him feel. (His protective locker room talk, of course, remains.)

CAS AS WHAT DEAN WISHED FOR FROM JOHN

That Cas gives Claire up to a healthier, safer life is what Dean wishes John would've done for him...left him with Sunny, perhaps.

Cas wants to keep Claire, because he loves her, but he can't repair the damage he did to her life.

Giving her up to Jody was the best thing. He's not equipped to care for Claire, like how John wasn't equipped to care for Sam or Dean.

Dean wishes John had been like Cas, and apologized, even though the situation was damn-near unfixable. He wishes John had tried to make amends anyway.

So when I say I get a lot of mileage, it's simply this. I get a lot of mileage. It's a fun lens for me, personally. And before you bring it up, yes, I do see the drug addiction parallels; I see addiction as quite complicated stuff.

I also think that Crowley is legitimately integrating his own humanity and catching feelings, but it doesn't erase the core of the whole situation. Crowley is also dealing with the events that led him to become a demon in the first place. He was abandoned, he drank too much in order to cope with an "unsuccessful" life, and he was tricked by a demon in a back alley who played on his dick insecurities.

He is like Metatron was to Cas. He saw that Dean was vulnerable, and he orchestrated a situation as a means to gain power in Hell. Ruby did this, too, with Sam. She had an agenda to get him corrupted and served on a silver platter to Lucifer. Demons do what demons do. It's not a judgment on my part so much as an observation.

I do think that, over time, it's shown that regular demons do have the capacity to get a better hold on their instincts, make connections, and can even remember how to love (SEE: Meg). The Mark was just...a much harder situation. Makes you reconsider Cain and Lucifer's plight a little bit, mmm?

[pbandjesse]

I can't say I am having a very good time today. Emotionally I just feel a bit numb. Like why would anything be good?

It doesn't help that I woke up a million times last night. Every time I turned over I was just in pain and uncomfortable and just having a bad time.

So I slept in. But when I woke up it was because my mom was calling me. I already had one missed call from her. And it's never good when my parents call me out of nowhere.

And I tried to not catastrophize everything. But she was like. Are you home. Is James there. And I was just like what is wrong. And what is wrong is my brother is in the hospital.

I don't want to put all of his business out there. But he got very sick and Felicia's family forced him to the ER. I'm glad they did because apparently he deteriorated quickly and was admitted. He has an infection, verging on sepsis. He's not speaking. And I'm just like. Of course. This feels like a curse.

Like I don't want to be saying anything. I don't want to say my brother might die. But that's what I'm feeling. And then my brain just goes. You really are your father's daughter. Another middle child, becomes only child. I really hope that I'm just being dramatic. But also no one has texted me since this morning. And I just feel a little bit numb. I don't want to ask. No news it good news right? But I also feel like I will just fall apart completely if I have to get that phone call. I am trying to be positive but it is really hard. Why would anything be good?

When I got off the phone I was just. Moving on automatic. I washed my face. I made the bed. I felt uncomfortable. I liked my dress. But I just was not having a good time.

James left me breakfast. It was fine. Sweetp was bothering me. But I was trying to just. Be alright.

I would get under a blanket on the couch with sweetp. And I decided that when Sweetp gets up, I would get up and do something.

But he would fall asleep and we were just there for an hour and a half. So at noon I just decided I should get up anyway. Even if Sweetp yelled at me.

I would do a lot of small organizing projects. I cleaned my vanity. I went through my purses. I moved things into boxes. I moved things out of other boxes. I moved a whole bunch of stuff from the guest room and moved it to the basement. I did some measuring to possibly get some bookshelves. I put all the books back in the baby room. And reorganized the closet in there. I was just. Moving moving moving. The saddest can't catch you if you keep moving.

I would eventually decide that I wanted to go to Wawa. Get a late lunch. I went to five below first but it was a bit of a mess and I couldn't find anything I was looking for. I did cry in the car because of music. But I calmed down and went to get my late lunch.

I got my hoagie. And went home. I was back by 4. I ate my sandwich at the kitchen island. I put the clean dishes away and did some organizing on the top of the fridge I also moved around some stuff in the living room to make space for our new Christmas tree.

I had moved a bunch of things in the basement earlier in the day, including moving the decoration boxes to the bottom of the stairs. James would help bring those up later on.

When James got home I was not having a very good time but I was happy to see them. They let me know their plans for proving bread tonight. And they would go run to the store to get cranberry soda for tomorrow. Just trying to make me feel a little more normal. It helped.

I don't even really like Thanksgiving. And I'm not seeing my parents. And my brother is in limbo. I texted him and told him I was going to bully him because I was scared. And that he's being an attention seeker. That this is attentions eeking behavior. I don't mean it. I just want him to laugh and get me back. I just want things to be okay.

I would try and focus on other things. James took our fall decorations down and I worked on some nonsense sewing in the studio. Just cutting strips. I don't know if I'm going to use this but it was something to work on.

Eventually I would head upstairs. Took a quick shower. Got in bed.

James just joined me. And I think I just need to be quiet. And hope that tomorrow doesn't feel so empty.

I love you all. Thank you for reading.

[d-amore]

fake love, cupid and jealousy for the ask game ! any f/o u want to answer with !!

HIII thanks for the asks :333

warning i talked more than i originally planned LOL i have many many thoughts about nocturnal animals

💔 BTS - Fake Love: have they or you changed just for the other? how much harm did that cause on the relationship? how was that solved, if it was?

aough bruce became more open, maybe more trusting of those trying to help him..... lissa didn't change bc she's already perfect (jk i'm just not finished with her character)

BUT there's a big event and that is jason's murder. bc of that they both change, for the worst too. bruce goes back to being closed and distant, and slowly lissa becomes more and more quiet and scared, much to the point of abandoning viligantism. it caused a lot of harm, so much that they couldn't talk or even look into each other's eyes, until she leaves him one afternoon without a word. AND it WAS solved but only like 20 years in the future :P and they're back to being lovey dovey but now also old

💘 FIFTY FIFTY - Cupid: have either of you given up on love before? how did it feel to find love in one another? were either of you heartbroken before finding the other?

bruce had just lost one of the loves of his life (selina), while melissa was single for most of her life in gotham bc she had a troubled relationship before, so in a way, it's not like they truly gave up on finding love, they just... stopped bothering to find one

and it was... truly something, for her. falling in love with gotham's prince as you get to know him, but still so in the dark about his true self. yes he's handsome, yes he's hot, yes i want to have him to myself and i melt at him just calling my name, but is he trust-worthy? does he has good intentions? he has a child, does he impregnates women and leave them, not even bothering to help financially? so many questions. so little time with him

and for him it was so refreshing, but so scary too! falling in love again in such a short period of time, for someone that shared so many similarities with his past lover! what if she gets involved in his life and media makes her life living hell? what if someone goes after her (trying to hurt bruce, not batman). what if the joker somehow finds out she's related to batman as well, and uses her against him, like he did with selina? so many fears and such a desire to be with her

🔥 MONSTA X - Jealousy: who is the most jealous? how is that jealousy managed? when does it happen? is it easily triggered?

lissa is the most jealous ofc, she's dating the fucking prince of gotham! he has every girl (and boy too let's be honest) under his feet, waiting for a mistake of her to take her place. she gets so blind with jealousy when they're out and about in a gala, and so mad at herself for thinking this about bruce, that she usually asks to leave earlier

for the first months of relationship it was quite the trouble and reason for fights that, different from other couples (looking at you discostick and class duties), didn't end in bed but rather with her crying and storming off. it may have looked doomed, bc it didn't get better even with him reassuring her that he had eyes for no one else, but she swallowed her pride (oh no she's not letting bruce fucking wayne go) and made sure to let everyone know he's hers at every gala, and that was the only way she calmed herself from the jealousy

he feels jealousy too from time to time but it's not as intense as hers

[fincalinde]

Mama Lan

Oh now this is challenging and you are a fiend who will someday pay for your crimes.

a song that reminds me of them

Going to have to pass on this one, I can't think of anything really.

what they smell like

We know so little about her it's impossible to speculate pre-confinement, but post-confinement I presume it would be sandalwood like all the Lans. Let me take this opportunity to raise a point that has also bothered me for several years: unless someone knows more than me about this particular variety (entirely possible!), blue gentians have little if any scent. I believe the roots and other parts of the plant have a stronger scent when processed for extracts or similar, but a mass of blossoming gentians actually wouldn't smell that strongly.

an otp

N/A, we just don't know enough about her for me to have any shipping preferences in that regard.

a notp

While I know there is technically room to speculate that she did come to love QHJ, I don't think it's the most likely conclusion based on the information we have. The idea isn't something that charms and delights me either. I quite like not knowing the details because, although I'm not totally on board with LXC's desire not to know the truth, I think we know enough to be sure that it is not good. The world of MDZS is not a world where a woman who didn't return a man's love somehow conveniently came to fall for him during or after being consigned to solitary imprisonment for the rest of her life.

Reading between the lines I think the most likely sequence of events is that she chose this life over death and therefore her consent to things such as sexual activity is technical at best. I'm sure there's some good work out there around that, but it's not something I would read whether consensual or nonconsensual or ambiguous; the entire situation makes my skin crawl.

Gun to my head I find coercion less distasteful than a theoretical attempt to sell me on a genuine loving relationship existing between these two particular characters.

favorite platonic/familial relationships

Hands down LXC, mostly because this is another example of how LXC's needs are always treated as secondary to LWJ's. I'm fully aware that LXC tells the story of his mother's life and death to WWX specifically to try to communicate something to him about LWJ (I wonder what that could be), but it is still heartbreaking to me that this man describes his brother's grief in detail and doesn't spare a word for his own.

It's even worse to think of how traumatic it must have been to lose his mother, when he loved her just as much as LWJ did but had the additional burden of worrying about and caring for his didi. Both Twin Jades are raised under unfathomable pressure, but LXC's burden is still the greater and he bears it with such grace that no one ever even notices. This is why it's important to note the lengths JGY goes to in order to ensure LXC's comfort and remove as many burdens and stressors from his life as possible.

I also love the little touch that LXC often visits his mother's house—a thing that unless I've forgotten something is not mentioned in relation to LWJ, and that I therefore choose to read as being unique to him. It's nice to imagine that he has his own genuinely private space, even if being in that space is bittersweet. Clearly he feels closer to his mother there than at the family shrine, which is another nice touch emphasising how their love for each other had to exist outside orthodox spaces.

a headcanon that is popular in the fandom but that i disagree with

I am deeply weary of fandom's steadfast conviction that the yassification of any and all female characters is a powerful feminist statement. I think I will just leave this one here.

the position they sleep in

I hope she sprawls all over that damn bed every night, and I hope QHJ never stays long enough to fall asleep in it.

a crossover au i’d love to see them in

I'm not saying never, but my instinct is that I really prefer her to remain as mysterious as she is in canon and not feature directly. That doesn't really lend itself to crossovers.

my favorite outfit they’ve ever worn

The one covered in the blood of QHJ's teacher. I don't even care whether or not said teacher had it coming.

[vexing-imogen]

knelt beside my hope torn apart

Three days after Imogen turns eighteen, she collapses at work, screaming and begging Relvin to make it stop, it's so loud, Daddy, please make it stop.

When he'd gone to wake her up that morning, she'd complained of a headache and bad dreams keeping her up all night. She did feel warmer than usual, but he'd coaxed her out of bed, figuring that some fresh air and an easy day tending to the horses would do her good. He'd brushed off the nosebleed that she got during breakfast with the excuse that it was just an unusually dry winter.

Now, as he carries her back to the farmhouse, burning with fever and staining his shirt with tears and blood, he wishes he'd just let her stay home.

He tries not to think about Liliana. How she would frequently complain of headaches. The nightmares she never told him about. The nosebleeds she would try to hide. How she'd whispered to him the night that she'd left that the world was just too goddamned loud.

As he gets Imogen settled in her bed, he notices something that makes his heart sink. While he can feel the heat radiating off of her, Imogen's fingertips are ice cold. The small purple and red bruises that dot them almost make it look like she's got frostbite.

Lili's fingers had been that way, too. Always cold. She'd blamed it on poor circulation, and had delighted in using it to tease him. He feigned annoyance, but secretly he still missed the sensation of her cool fingers on his neck or the small of his back.

Imogen sleeps fitfully until well past sundown, whimpering and crying out from her fever induced dreams. When she finally wakes for more than just a minute or two, both moons are high in the sky, and her bedroom is bathed in Ruidis' red light.

"What's wrong with me, Daddy?" she begs. "What's happening to me?"

He's not equipped to deal with this. Gods, he wishes Liliana was here. "I don't-" He swallows hard, starts over. "It's gonna be okay, sweet pea," he says, brushing sweat damp hair back from her face. "I promise."

Anger flashes in her eyes, turning them white for a split second. "You can't promise that," she snaps. There's a sharp pain in his temple, gone just as quickly as it appeared. He curses under his breath, and when he looks back at Imogen, she's shrinking away from him, horrified.

"I'm so sorry, Daddy," she whimpers. "It was an accident, I didn't mean to, I'm sorry."

"I know, Gennie," he murmurs. "It's alright." He goes to reach for her, but she pulls back, curling herself into a ball. "I'll, uh, leave you be for now," he says, hovering awkwardly by the door. "If you need anything, just...just holler."

He goes to the kitchen, right to his bottle of whiskey, doesn't even bother with a glass, just takes a long pull and slumps against the counter. Fuck.

The soft creak of the porch steps is all the warning he gets before someone is knocking on the door. Four soft knocks. Then a pause. Three more, slightly sharper, knocks.

He wishes he could see who's at the door, but the window is on the other side of the kitchen. He figures it must be pretty damn important if they're knocking on his door at (he checks the clock) half-past one. Strange that they don't seem to be in any kind of rush, though.

Relvin opens the door, and the whiskey bottle falls out of his hand. Something stops it from hitting the floor and shattering. Magic, dummy. Magic stops it. And floats it back up into his hand. Damn her.

Liliana stands in the doorway, bathed in red moonlight, wrapped in a leather duster, stray hair that's escaped from her braid being whipped about by the winter winds. He can just see another figure past her, leaning against the old willow tree. He can't tell if their skin is actually red, or if it's just that damned moon. The last time he remembers the sky turning this red was eighteen years ago. The night Imogen was born.

He offers his wife the whiskey as a greeting. (Is she still his wife? They'd never officially divorced, and she'd taken her ring when she left, but he'd stopped wearing his a long, long time ago. She accepts it with a half smile, takes a quick drink, and then hands it back. She makes brief eye contact with the person behind her before she follows him into the house.

He sets the bottle on the table with a little more force than he intends. "What're you doin' here, Lil?" he asks. "Why come back after all this time?"

"You know why," she says, peeling off her gloves. His eyes are immediately drawn to the purple marks on her hands that thrum with energy and disappear up into the sleeves of her jacket. He doesn't remember them being quite so vibrant the last time he'd seen her. "Where's Imogen?"

He feels a spark of fury in his gut. He's tempted to tell her to go fuck herself. That she can't expect to just waltz back into their lives after sixteen fucking years. He should turn her right back around, send her back out into the night and lock the door behind her.

But then he hears Imogen crying for him from the other room, and he just...can't. He sees the sorrow in Liliana's eyes; the guilt, the shared pain. She can help, better than he can at any rate. He can swallow his pride (for now) if it means his daughter gets the help she needs.

"This way," he says, leading her to the bedroom. Like the layout of the house isn't exactly the same as it was sixteen years ago.

The bedroom is a mess, shocking for the relatively short amount of time Relvin was gone. Books and trinkets have fallen to the floor. The armoire is on its side. One of the windows is open, scattering papers off of her desk. Imogen has thrown all her covers off the bed, and she's laying in the middle of the mattress shivering. Her nose is bleeding again, staining her pillow and sheets.

"Draw the curtains," Liliana instructs him. "The moonlight's makin' everything worse."

He doesn't understand what the moons have to do with any of this, but he does as she says all the same. Strangely, Imogen does seem to calm just a bit when the room is no longer bathed in red.

Liliana sits on the edge of the bed and waits for Imogen to notice her. When their eyes finally meet, they're both quiet for some time, but he gets the impression that they're still having a conversation. Just one that he can't hear.

Eventually, they come together; Imogen laying her head in Liliana's lap. Liliana combing her fingers through Imogen's hair. Imogen relaxes into the touch, letting a few tears fall.

"I'm scared, Mama," she whispers.

"I know, honeybee," Liliana replies. "I was, too."

"Is it ever gonna get better?"

Liliana's hand pauses for just a moment before she answers. "Yes, Imogen." Relvin doesn't need to be a mind reader to know that she's lying. "Yes, it'll get better."

[magician-kitty]

Apology

MK hummed a tune as she sat in her room listening to music on her phone. After all that happened today she could really use a break.

But in reality, she miss him. So much.

Everyone kept saying that it'd be best to move on but she can't. As much as it hurt that he would ever think she'd hurt him like that...

She still loves him.

That's when she noticed an envelope sitting there on her desk. "Huh?" She wondered.

Strange, she didn't recall receiving any mail today, not that she ever had any, it wasn't from Monkey King or Mei.

She goes over and opened the envelope.

Dearest MK,

The things I've done, I can't explain. I know because I know it hurts and causes pain

As she reads the words in the letter, the heat in her face filling her cheeks.

I can't say I didn't know what I was doing.

I don't know what I was thinking or was trying to prove.

The scene changes back at the Bull Fortress, Red Son was sitting patiently in his room staring at his phone staring somberly at another photo of him and MK.

Then his phone suddenly rings he eagerly picks it up, scanning at a message sent by MK.

"We need to talk."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We had a special love, and I threw it away. And I regret it every single day.

Right now, Red Son and MK were sitting cross-legged on MK's bed, staring at one another in silence. But before anyone could utter a word, Red Son got down on his knees and kowtows.

"I am so sorry, please forgive me Xiaotian," A sob left the prince's throat, tears running down his cheeks. "I know what I was wrong, I should have never accused you of such a thing and I'm sorry. I was so terrified of losing you to some pretty boy, a-and I took my jealousy out on you," He pressed his head harder on the ground.

"I know nothing I'll say will justify the horrible things I've said. But I just had to tell you this, and I promise I'll never bother you again."

I miss you. I miss you so much.

I miss your smile, your laughter, but it all just ended with disaster.

MK sat there in silence, not really sure what to say. After a second of silence, she speaks.

"You know Red, I could forgive the fact that you were spying on me and eavesdropping," He flinched at the tone of her voice. "But what I can't forgive is that you thought I would do something like that to hurt you."

He opened his mouth to speak but she cuts him off again, "And honestly, I don't even know if I can forgive you."

Red Son could feel the world crumbling down beneath him, gimbaling wildly under his feet. He fought to crush the sensation down, to stay in control.

If I could change the past I could, believe me I would. I would take away all the pain, if only I could

So this truly was the end. No more second chances. He'd been foolish to imagine he could patch things up so easily.

"Very well then." Red Son stands up on his feet, recomposed himself. "I'm...truly sorry for everything. I wish you the best of luck and hopefully someone will treat you better than I ever did." He turned to leave, trying to hide the tears threatening to leak.

MK grabs onto his jacket sleeve, stopping him. "Wait, Red. Come back."

He didn't hesitate to comply.

"I don't want anyone else, I want you. Broken hearts heal, and I'm sure we can get through this." MK smiled.

"Y-You will?" He asked anxiously, a glint of hope in his jade green eyes, MK smiled, leaning forward and pulled him into a hug. Her lips brushed against his cheek.

He returns the sweet gesture, sobbing gratefully for the second chance. "I love you, so much!"

So, now, all I can ask is one last try

I'll always love you until the day I die.

The End.

[wjforever]

Destroy me again. Chapter 8

I don't bother to get up. Instead, I put my feet on the bed, making myself comfortable. When Delalieu comes in, he looks at me for a few moments, but says nothing but "Sir."

"Prepare the documents for the "Brutus" project. Order a car to be prepared for me and gather the troops in the Quadrant, I will make a statement."

"Sir?"

"Do you have another words in your vocabulary?"

Hearing this question, he gets lost, bulges his eyes, stammers. "Yes… sir. Of course, sir. I'm sorry…"

"Sir," I interrupt, finishing the sentence for him. "I get it. What about my father?"

"He… He hasn't been in touch."

"Good. At least one good news for today. Give me a stronger painkiller and help me get dressed." He freezes, looks at me. 

"Lieutenant, this is an order. Not a request."

"Yes, sir… But sir… the medics…"

"Under my command. And their recommendations don't help to cope with the situation, which means I'll have to take matters into my own hands."

"Yes sir. Should I help you up?"

I hesitate for a couple of seconds. I don't know what would look more pathetic, my attempt to lift on my own, having a punctured lung and a practically useless right arm, or the use of my lieutenant's assistance. I decide that I couldn't avoid humiliation in any case, but the second option, at least, would be faster. So I extend my good arm forward, allowing the other person to help me bring myself to an upright position.

A white flash of light blinds me for a moment and I can barely restrain myself from throwing up immediately. 

"Sir, you're too pale and…" Delalieu's voice is surprisingly confident, almost insistent. 

"My clothes, lieutenant."

It's a humiliating feeling for a young and, a few hours ago, healthy person to feel so helpless. Yesterday you commanded hundreds of soldiers, and now you are not even able to get out of bed on your own and put on your own shirt. 

The dressing process is going fast. I'm sitting most of the time. An extra shot of painkiller does its job, making my body almost numb. I can hardly move myself, but at least I don't interfere with Delalieu doing his job. Like a dead man in a mortuary. Obedient and uncomplaining.

My plan is extremely simple. While Delalieu goes to get the documents, I will finish putting myself in order, and then I will choose the names of those who will be called traitors. Later I will speak to the soldiers and let them know that I'm alive. There will also be an announcement of enemies among our ranks. Their names will be announced immediately. This would be a rash move in my father's opinion, but it would save me from the risk that he would participate in the interrogation and learn too much. If they showed courage and start denying something, it wouldn't save them, given the dirt I have on them, but it would destroy my version of events.

Later I will go to the place where Juliette once again showed her abilities and try to get more information. I think that by this time, if not earlier, my father will already be at the headquarters. I will talk to him, trying to pretend that my injury wasn't as severe as my doctors say. Of course, he won't believe me, but I'll have to not look pathetic if I want him to trust  at least a little in what I'm saying.

What's next? I'll do everything I can in this situation. But a lot will depend on the father. If he gives me the opportunity to act, I will need to devote all my strength to finding Juliette, and also use my army and intelligence in the first place to hold off the rebels for as long as possible. Right now I need to maintain at least a shaky, but peace in the sector.

God willing, I will be able to get rid of my father, and I really hope to find Juliette. If Kent is with her, I'll kill him on the spot. His presence would only complicate the situation. Of course, she won't be happy about it, but she has already past the point when everything could have been settled in a more civilized way. Now we can only act from the position of strength. Although if she starts defending Kent in front of the father… I definitely need to get rid of my parent before I get her back.

"Tell me more about Kent's escape," I say as Delalieu ties my shoes.

"The soldiers arrived at Kent's location, but there was a hole in the wall. They couldn't describe exactly what it was like, but…"

"Doesn't matter. I'll see for myself. Is there anything else? They're all wounded. It can't be that there aren't some traces."

"Cart, sir."

"Cart?"

"Yes. A cart was found not far from that place. All stained with fresh blood. It seems that someone wounded was being transported on it."

"Hmm… Was it possible to get this cart through these doors?"

He freezes again, I feel his fear, I see his Adam's apple jerk down, and then back. 

"I... I'm not sure, sir…"

"So they didn't check it? Lord, do I really have to do everything myself? Okay, doesn't matter. Where does the trail lead next?"

"There are no more tracks there, sir."

"It doesn't happen that way. They couldn't have evaporated… if there was a lot of blood, there should be…" I trail off and Delalieu looks at me expectantly. "They had a car, right? They must have used it. Is there a car in Kent's house?"

"No…"

"Car tracks?"

"Sir…"

I want to shoot him.

"Order to find out all this before I go to the place."

"Yes, sir. Will be done." He finally feels joy and relief, because once again he has an assignment that he's able to carry out.

"Dismissed."

"Sir." 

With that Delalieu gives one short nod of his head and leaves me alone.

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[thefangirlthatwaited]

Encounter (Chapter 100)

Crow x Guardian

"I told Osiris about the Amunet incident." I watch Crow's face darken instantly and his hand goes to my stomach. "Why?" "Because it came up in conversation and I thought he knew. How was I supposed to know Saint didn't tell him." "At least I understand why you look so down." "Yeah. It just reminded me that there should be an additional baby in the house right now." It was Crow's turn to cup my face. "It stings to think about it. I know." "I hate that it still bothers me. I was only two maybe three months along. Couldn't even tell if it was a boy or girl." "It was still our child. Things like that leave a mark." I nod leaning into his touch. "Anyway after that conversation, Osiris told me that Ikora is doing an evaluation on him." "That's to be expected, isn't it. Even I was subjected to that once Ikora knew who I was." "What?!" Crow chuckles sheepishly while rubbing the back of his head. "I thought you knew." "I did not!" "Ruby, don't get upset. You have to understand where she is coming from with this. She wants to make sure Osiris is Osiris."

I growl under my breath and stand to get out of the bath. Crow follows suit and we head to bed. "I understand but still. I feel like it's wrong to do it this soon." "From what I heard from Saint today, Osiris wants back in the field. This is to assure he is strong enough for it." I huff my arms crossed as I lay down. "I just wish people would see Osiris as who he is, or was before Savathun." "Not everyone has your magic, love. They can't tell that he isn't corrupted." "Then they should take my word for it." Crow leans on his arms while smiling at me. "What?" "I love when you're passionate about something. Especially when it's protecting someone you care about." "I just want justice and for people to be respected." "From what you said, Osiris didn't have many people trusting him before Savathun." I punch Crow and he acts hurts. "What, it's true. The exile didn't help." "I know, I know." "Talk to Ikora. Tell her how you feel and what you saw in Osiris's mind. Maybe that will help alleviate some tension between them." "I was planning on it." 

"See. I knew you'd have a plan already." He then leans over me. "Now let me help you relax." "And how, praytell, do you plan on doing that?" I tease. He chuckles darkly before capturing my lips in a passionate kiss. Over the next few days, I wait for Osiris to get back to me regarding his meeting with Ikora. But there was nothing. From Osiris, Saint or Ikora. Even when I tried to get a meeting with Ikora, I got rebuffed. How could one vanguard leader not talk to another? It was asinine. It was another week before I heard anything from anyone regarding this situation. I was busy in my office going over a budget request from Ana, who was asking for more funds to help rebuild Rasputin. I approved wholeheartedly knowing the word she was putting in but did request an update on the project. That's when I heard a knock on my office door tearing my attention away from my data and back to the newcomer. I see that it was Ikora and wave her in. "I've been trying to get ahold of you for a week now," I state as she takes a seat. "I know and I'm sorry. I've been busy."

Full chapter on Ao3

[greeneyedpixie99]

Stars *Leonard "Bones" McCoy* Chapter One

Summary: After living in her brother's shadow since the day they were born, Eleanor "Nell" Kirk decides to take her life into her own hands. Joining Starfleet, she finds not only a place to belong but potentially, someone she wouldn't mind spending her life with.

Pairing: Eleanor "Nell" Kirk x Leonard "Bones" McCoy

Warning: None that I know of, if you find any let me know!

CHAPTER ONE

-Three Years Later-

     Eyes stinging my head swayed a touch before settling against the sturdy structure of  Bones' shoulder as we waited for the familiar end of class. Honestly we both should be done with classes but If I wanted to make the last leap to being bridge crew or med-bay crew, I needed a few more specialized classes. I was not about to mess that up just to get a few extra hours of sleep. Between sheep dogging my brother out of trouble, studying alone, studying with Bones and more I was always running on less than fumes these days so When the trilling hit my ears relief was immediate. Forcing my head off of my best friend's shoulder I began gathering my things, accepting Bones' helping hand as we hurried from class after my far too excited brother.

     "So will you two do it for me?" I scrunched up my eyebrows in confusion, tossed bones a look of confusion. What had I missed whilst dozing through the last twenty minutes of class?

     "I have no interest and Nell wasn't paying attention."

     "I didn't ask if you have interest and if Nell was paying attention. I asked if you two would do it?" Shuffling ahead, I turned to walk backwards to get a better view of both men's faces.

     "I'm about to ask you an obvious question: Why bother?"

     "Because I failed the test twice." I couldn’t help it: I laughed, shoulders shaking with the force of it at the exasperation settling like a second mask over Bones features and the subtle annoyance on Jim’s. Jim wasn’t used to failing and with this piece of information I finally was beginning to understand what he was going on about. The Kobayashi Maru- a test designed to be failed.

     "That's what this is about. Jim, no one passes that damn test."

     "and he's determined to make it three. We've all failed it-everyone has, and that's the point! No one goes back for seconds, let alone thirds- it's not like you need to pass it to graduate." Nodding in agreement, I pointed at Bones. He was often more right than the both of us. Part of me wondered if that was just his wisdom in the five years he had on us or if it was just his natural understanding of the world.

     "Leo's right Jim. If it was required to graduate there are plenty of people who would have dropped out."

     "So Bones, Nell... why do they make us take it?"

     "He told you to stop calling him that Jim, and it's a learning experience to tell us all that no matter what we do we can't save everyone."

     "You two are the greatest really- thank you. Bones, Eleanor." This time both of us groaned in annoyed distaste.

     "You'd better study for it this time."

     "Oh, no- Bones- I gotta date." Keeping in step with my two favorite men, I kicked my brother's shin.

     "A date, really James."

     "Listen, as smart as you are, which ain't much, if you don't prepa-"

     "Stop worrying you two, You have no idea how prepared i'm gonna be- no idea." With a kick to his own to my shin Jim raced off.

     "Seriously, Stop calling me Bones!" Snickered, I faintly heard the beginnings of his mutter under his breath. With a kiss to his check I turned to walk away. I had my own tests to study for and unlike my brother I wouldn’t do it in bed with another life form hoping they would whisper all the answers in my ear. Pausing, I turned back once more to my best friend trying to ignore the flush that coated my cheeks every time we were alone together.

     "Don't worry Leo, you'll come to love it. Though I swear to god if you start calling Eleanor I'll chop off your manly bits." With a wink I skipped away.

     "Leonard McCoy you better have a good reason for pulling me away my studying for McChalskey’s midterm or so help me god I will make good on my threat from earlier." I snapped, shoving through the door of the McCoy-Kirk dorm with a frown in place. Leonard hopped out of the way, clearly not having expected for my response to be so aggressive, but i hadn’t been lying earlier, I had test after test to take because I was taking Xenolinguistics and Medical classes this term and If I wanted to pass them I needed to make sure I studied. I glanced at his face to see he was grinning good natured.

     "Which threat Nelly, the one about stealing your food or the one about calling you Eleanor?"

     "Both, at the same time. Now out with it, why'd you call me." Leonard didn't even give me time to blink before I was being tossed over his shoulder and deposited on one of the fluffy beds set in the main part of their housing area. The bed itself was neat and clutter free, all the clutter falling on the nightstand and desk in the form of PADDS and study material which was the first clue presented that it wasn’t my brother's bed I had been chucked on.

     "Your brother won't be back for a while, he called to let me know." Fighting the blush I could feel creeping up my neck, I stared up at Leonard, eyebrow raised.

     "So?"

     "So, that means Darlin', that I'm taking you out to dinner away from the main part of campus to force you to take a study break before you overwork that pretty brain of yours." I whined in disbelief. Of all the times I had wanted him to call me pretty and take me to dinner, I didn’t want it to be because I was overworking myself but because he wanted to.

     "Leo, really. I'm not dressed to be going out and last time I was hit on the entire night and you had to pretend to be my boyfriend to get them to leave me alone. I don't want to deal with that again."  Leonard slipped onto his back on the bed right beside me, laughing a little.

     "I ain't got an issue pretending Darlin', you're gorgeous and I know that when we leave I can shove you into a puddle and the worst that will happen is you'll pull me in right after. So come on, let's enjoy a little time without your brother." Biting my lip, I rolled over and placed a hand on her best friend's chest.

     "You do realize pretending to be with me means you have to kiss me right, right in front of everyone or no one will believe it, correct?" Leonard nodded.

     "Fully aware doll, like I said. You're gorgeous so I ain't got an issue with it. Now are we gonna go or not?" Pulling myself up and onto Leonard's lap, I crossed my arms hoping the look I was giving him was plenty stern. Kissing Leonard, a dream come true. Kissing Leonard because we wanted to keep the freaks away just to turn around and be best friends again tomorrow, not so much.

     "How about no." Leonard snickered, flipping us around so I was the one sprawled on the bed, his larger body hovering over me. I think my brain might have switched off because when he asked again, I nodded yes. I had barely settled back into the intelligent woman I am before he was dragging me by the hand out of the living quarters, tucking his wallet into his pocket as we went. If only he knew the effect he had on me, the feelings I had for him something tells me our entire friendship would be entirely different. And sadly, it might not even exist. His divorce and heartbreak was too fresh. I was content being his friend but that didn’t mean I yearned for more. I would never force that on him though. Better to suffer in silence.

Dinner turned out to be at the cute bar and grill just off of second street, two blocks from the Starfleet campus. Seating was easy as everyone in their right mind was either at home enjoying some down time or back on campus studying. There were a few men lingering about at the bar, beers in their hands bullshitting with whatever and whoever came to sit beside them. They looked the type to assume women owe them something so I prayed we would sit far away from them. 

Thankfully Leonard took the que and sat us six tables away from the bathroom, completely out of view of the bar. The waitress of the night came over right away and upon seeing the ruggedly handsome man before her, completely turned to block me from her view. Not much of a surprise. Anytime I was out with him or my brother it happened, but it was always far more annoying when I was with Len. It was almost painfully obvious that I would never really fit in as anything more than the blonde girl that followed him around like a lost little puppy.

“Thank you for choosing Daisy’s Bar and Grill. My name is Olivia and I’ll be your waitress for the evening. What can I get started for you?”

“I’ll have a bourbon and my lovely companion a strawberry lemonade.” Olivia enthusiastically wrote down the drink order and hurried off, only to turn back around and dump the menus onto the table in front of us. Part of me hoped this was her first week on the job and she’d get fired. I knew it was petty. Our drinks came, mine dropped nearly over in front of me and Len’s drink was nicely handed to him before Olivia took our food order.

“So, how was the studying coming before I dragged you out?”

“Good, I guess. My roommate was probably trying to seduce one of her professors to raise her grade and Nyota- the girl I met in my basic Starfleet classes was working on something. So I thankfully had no distractions. What about you, did you get any studying done or was dragging me out your excuse not to?” The smug bastard didn’t even seem phased or bothered by the question.

“I’ve been studying for the last week Nell, I’m as ready as I’m going to get and so are you. So take a breath and enjoy this before I let Jim taking you out drinking to demonstrate fun again.” Groaning, I dropped my head into my hands. The last time Jim and Len took me out drinking I wasn’t allowed to leave until I’d had at least three drinks and danced twice with each of them. Which was a surprise because usually Len refused to dance with anyone.

“I would love to never have to live through that thanks.”

Food was delivered a little more gracefully than the drinks, and then we lapsed into silence to eat. Len was eating his weight in a tender steak and a side salad, clearly unbothered by the looks Olivia was shooting at him from the wait station. I however was self consciously enjoying the pork chop and garlic potatoes (praying Len wouldn’t have to kiss me because garlic kisses weren’t a top ten good kiss).

The walk back to my dorm was nice and quiet, no need to fill the space with words but part of me wanted to fill it. To tell him that friend “dates” didn’t need to happen, that it was a good way to send mixed signals but there were no signals to mix between us. It was a friendly offer to make sure I didn’t drown the night away under PADDs and study prep and medical terminology. He had never shown a hint of true romantic feelings towards me and saying any of what I was thinking would just cause problems and ruin what we had.

When he kissed my forehead at the door, I could barely muster a smile. Going to bed was a miracle, because at least in my dreams reality was so much easier to change. How I wish I had savored what we had a little more, because my brother was about to set in motion a chain of events that might just make it impossible for our friendship to last- whether through my big mouth or death.