#i'm sure there are others who write a female muse who DOES want someone to finally take control | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

queen-of-prophecy · 2 months ago

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"My oh my......"

"Now how did you come to find your way into my Tower hmm??? Curious considering how it doesn't have any doors. Mostly naughty of you darling, breaking into my house-"

"Ah! Nevermind. I actually predicted your visit some time ago. You're right on schedule."

"Welcome to my Emerald Tower! The most mysterious and magnificent of any kind you'll find in Hell, surely. Here is where I, Queen Vine of the Ars Goetia, Beholder of Fate, The All-Seer, ruler of the Witchholm and loveliest of all those who Fell reside!"

"By the way, if you need the wifi password, it's P@im0nstinks12."

"So by all means! Make yourself comfortable. I'm sure you have many questions-"

Rules And Bio Below! Please read before interacting!

Rules:

Vine is capable of near perfect foresight, and thus can see the past, present and future of whomever she wishes with the exception of anomalies. However, I will not have Vine predict the future without consulting my RP partner about it first, or without establishing them as a said anomaly. If we can’t agree on what can be disclosed to Vine, or if you disagree with my decision to make or not make them an anomaly, please accept my decision if I choose not to continue the RP with you

Vine has extremely narcissistic habits, and is also a very privileged person. Her viewpoints are not going to always be my own, and she is bound to step on toes. I will always try to keep my partners informed of what she’s going to do in the RP, but if Vine does or says something that offends you personally, SPEAK UP. If Vine acting like an entitled queen is going to be offensive to you, we need to stop so we can avoid hurt feelings. This also goes for any element of plotting that you’re uncomfortable with. It’s much easier to do a full stop than to carry on with draa.

Vine is not interested in marriage or children. She can be reciprocative of flirting, but as someone who is demisexual and demiromantic, it takes her a long time to establish love and trust for someone. And this love is not necessarily healthy. If you want to do shipping, or plot romances, be aware Vine will not always act in your muses’ best interests.

I am open to RPing with minors. However I will not RP anything with graphic violence, sex, or other mature themes with you. If I find you’re lying about your age to RP these themes, it will be a full block, and I will delete all threads. This is the only warning you get.

I am open to all OCs and canon characters. If you want to drop little asks, my inbox is always open. However I typically will ask permission to the mun before dropping asks. If I haven’t asked yet, feel free to ping me and give me permission or ask me to. Communication is key!

Please be polite and understanding. All of what we’re doing on here is meant to be for fun, not to be taken seriously. I will respect your opinions and views so long as you respect mine. If I feel any communication is becoming unhealthy or nonexistent, don’t expect me to continue doing RPs with you.

Queen Vine is based on the demon King Vine of the Lesser Key of Solomon. Obviously this is not a canon version of that character, but only an inspiration. Still, as such, Queen Vine does have dominion over her own territory, and as such tends to do what she likes. If you actively want to RP her being a bully, be prepared!

I am perfectly accepting of other people's headcanons and bios, even if they contradict my own. For example, if you play Lucifer but do not have the same backstory as described here, that's fine! Its your character, they don't need to match up 100%

Have fun! Vine may be an omnipotent Queen but she’s also a drama mama wine aunt and spends her days writing fanfics. So enjoy that :D

All Art is made by @trissschmidt43!)

Name: Vine

Sex: Female

Age: ????

Birthday: May 1st (Taurus) / Beltane

Sexuality: Demisexual

Demon Class: Goetia (Pel’s Fishing Owl)

Location: The Royal Circle (Pride Ring)

(eldritch form below) Bio:

In the beginning there were the orders of angels who were set to safeguard humanity and care for God’s wonderful creations on Earth. Among them were the Ophanim, or the Thrones, who worked under the Seraphim to establish to pillars of wisdom that would insure Heaven stood supreme. The Ophanim were mostly paired siblings, including two particular Ophanim, Paimon and Vine.

The role of Paimon and Vine were as herald and scribe respectively. Paimon would be responsible for announcing the edict of the Heavens, and spoke with a powerful, captivating voice. And Vine would be the writer of histories and proclamations, documenting the past, present and future. The two siblings were proud of their public roles, and served, more or less, as the Voices of God.

However, when the Morningstar came to power, things changed.

Lucifer Morningstar was a Seraphim. Beautiful, brilliant, charming and well-liked by the Ophanim, he had become somewhat of a stand-out due to his extravagant ideas for how the Earth should operate, in particular caring for the future of humanity. But he was often put down by his fellow Seraphim and the elder council of angels, who found his ideas too outlandish and believing they should obey the order of God instead. The siblings Paimon and Vine however, found Lucifer’s ideas captivating, and believed that a strong leader should be capable of thinking big. And with God so elusive and difficult to commune with, soon the siblings found themselves siding more and more with Lucifer.

And then it happened.

Lilith, the wife of Adam, found she could not bear to submit to his will and be treated as a lesser being. Though the two had been created as equals, Adam had been increasingly more demanding, and thus the two broke away, Lilith choosing to live away from the enclosed garden. Lucifer understood her desire for autonomy, and admired her. The two met, and fell in love. Heaven had been swift to give Adam another wife, a more humble and gentle Eve, but Lucifer and Lilith felt that the mother of humanity deserved to be able to give the same gift Lilith had been born with. The power to choose for oneself.

And thus, the event that would shape history forever happened. Slipping into the garden, Lucifer offered Eve the Apple. It would allow her to be able to distinguish good from evil, give her wisdom and knowledge, and grant her the free will to decide of her own volition. Eve in her innocence, accepted.

But once it was made clear that the Mother of Humanity had done so, Heaven was enraged.

Eve had been tainted by the Apple. And what was worse, was that she already carried the future generation of humanity in her belly. Worse still, Adam learned of what she had done, and chose to taste the Apple himself, not wishing his wife to suffer alone. With humanity’s future now uncertain, the Seraphim swiftly punished Lucifer and Lilith and cast them down into Hell….a dark, foreboding place no angel dared tread.

The greatest of dangers was yet to come.

For Lucifer had left many friends behind in the Ophanim, who were horrified and outraged at the Elders act of cruelty against their beloved Seraphim. Paimon in particular was crushed, as he had deeply admired Lucifer and his bold take on things. Not willing to let this go without consequence, Paimon spoke to the other Ophanim, all seventy-two of them, and convinced them that they should stand in support of their friend. Not only them, but six other Seraphim who had been close to Lucifer as well, and viewed him as a brother, agreed that Lucifer had been unjustly punished….especially after seeing that humanity had been cast out of the Garden of Eden due to this.

As for Vine, she decided to take the first step. With the stroke of a pen, she wrote in the sacred book of God that Lucifer was to be the future of humanity, now and forever. With one act, she and Paimon set themselves as proud rebels against Heaven, demanding the return of Lucifer and Lilith and the restoration of mankind to the Garden of Eden.

Their defiance took a bloody turn. Angels warred against angels, and in the aftermath, all the rebels were swiftly punished and cast down to join the man they had sided with. But for Vine, who had emulated her leader in boldness, there was a special punishment awaiting her.

After the battle had sent most of her fellow Ophanim into Hell, Vine and her brother Paimon were chained and brought before the Elders. Though Paimon had coerced his fellow angels to rebellion, Vine had committed the first act of heresy in history by going against the will of God, and declaring another to be a greater power. With Paimon watching, the angels cut Vine’s hands from her wrists, declaring she would never again be permitted to write such heresy. While still howling in agony, the two siblings were cast down, the last to fall, and the impact of their rebellion cemented.

Lucifer and Lilith had not expected company, but after seeing so many of their fellow angels scattered, wounded, and morphed beyond recognition, they understood they needed to take control. With Lilith leading the way, supporting her new husband and great love, the two established their dominion over Hell. The six Seraphim who had fought and fell first became part of the Seven Deadly Sins, with Lucifer reigning as King of Pride and Emperor of Hell. The Ophanim, not wishing to relinquish their titles as Thrones, formed the Royal Circle of demons, a large part becoming the Ars Goetia. Paimon swiftly took leadership of these royal demons, as he had headed the rebellion.

Vine, now Queen Vine, was left in far worse straits.

Despite Lucifer’s best efforts, the wound she sustained after having her hands cut from her wrists was irreversible. Every time he attempted to attach new hands, they would rot and fall off, dooming her to dependence. Fortunately, Lucifer figured out a solution. He had attempted six times to attach hands to her wrists, and thus created six magical hands that would not need to be bound to her wrists in order to work. Vine was relieved to have her autonomy and ability to write restored, but was ultimately haunted by the ordeal she had suffered.

Though she and Paimon were still siblings, Paimon chose to cement his position through royal marriages, heirs, playing games of politics and establishing an iron grip on his territories. Vine however, had been too affected by their previous rebellion, and decided she would remain Queen of her principality and operate from afar. Her power, which remained even after her Fall, would be loaned for the use of future mortals who wished for prophecy, witchcraft, and magic. Residing in the Emerald Tower; a formidable stronghold that mysteriously lacks any doors to permit entry, Vine chose instead to continue the documentation she had once taken pride in….this time for Hell.

Present Day:

Though many eons have passed since the Fall, Vine still remains, more or less, as a solitary figure in the Royal Circle. As King Paimon’s sister and a Queen, she is respected by her royal peers, particularly for her ability to see the past, present and future almost perfectly….without the need of a grimoire. However, she is also mostly a mystery as she remains isolated in her tower, rarely permitting guests. Instead, she makes random appearances at society functions, often to give away lavish gifts and give “spoilers” for peoples future as a form of amusement.

In truth, Vine’s interest in writing the future has….changed. As the population of Hell as grown, her interest has turned more dramatic, resembling that of a novelist for romance and dramas. Her many tomes are in fact “fanfiction” of people’s lives, writing down the intricacies of their relationships and struggles. She even publishes them under pseudonyms online, and seems to revel in the little dramas she writes, since she can already tell what’s going to happen.

Vine does accept the call to service when requested by Lucifer or Lilith, but she has since become notoriously “obnoxious” to her brother and fellow Kings. She often likes to poke fun at Paimon’s pursuit of control and power, perhaps because she already knows the outcome of his machinations, and often speaks dismissively of those she doesn’t find interesting.

What’s stranger is that Vine seems to have adopted a small imp companion in her years of isolation, a tiny illustrator named Triss. No one’s sure how she came to be hired as the Queen’s confidante, or how she even got into the Emerald Tower. But Triss seems to thrive mostly off of reading the queen’s fanfiction, and even draws the subjects to add to the tomes. Triss is a deeply unusual imp, even by normal standards, but is also a deeply devoted friend to Vine, who is exceedingly fond of her.

Abilities and Powers:

Though the Ophanim were irreversibly changed after the Fall, taking on demonic forms, many of them retained their abilities and powers. Vine herself has many of the same powers Paimon has; teleportation, shape-shifting, telekinesis and the ability to traverse through space. However, Paimon has more combative powers than his sister has, which makes him suitable to his role as King. Instead, Vine has the advantage of near-perfect clairvoyance, to which she requires no grimoire or studies of the stars or elements to divine. These visions of the past, present and future are all done through her third eye, which is the only eye that constantly sees everything.

However it is only “nearly” perfect. There still remain people whom Vine refers to as “anomalies”; special people whose futures cannot be divined, nor their pasts uncovered. The best Vine can do is divine the path through the eyes of those around them, but never seeing their point-of-view. Vine has a vested interest in these anomalies, often writing “AU fanfics” where she guesses at their future based on her observation.

Because of these powers of foresight, Vine has taken on many names and forms in order to commune with humans on Earth to retain her importance and power. She has claimed many names and shapes, including that of the Fates. She can be summoned for counsel by humans, but only those who provide the proper tributes; Three cups of wine (red, white and rose), three fruits (apple, pomegranate and fig), and three knives (iron, copper, and steel), lit around a circle with her sigil with three candles (black, white and red). She will permit them three questions, but often keeps her answers ambiguous.

Vine’s weaknesses however, are the same as all immortal demons that live in Hell. She is vulnerable to angelic weapons and arms, and can also be subdued or sealed away by a more powerful demon such as the Seven Deadly Sins, or King Lucifer and Queen Lilith. Though she has yet to make herself so troublesome as to incite their ire, she does have a habit of angering people by refusing to speak of the future. In fact, Vine has a personal rule where she refuses to reveal anything unless it provides ample entertainment for herself.

Personality:

Vine, like most Goetia, is an incredibly proud and vain woman who often disregards the running of her territory, having left it to the work of stewards and magistrates. She has extremely narcissistic tendencies and can be very extravagant and eccentric, often praising her beauty and brilliance, and taking a great deal of stock in public comments online from her fan base. Vine is capable of being good and generous, but that is often reserved with those whom she takes interest in or has a history with.

However, she is also capable of being very vindictive and cold, especially on the subject of her own history. Though few outside of the Goetic Circle know what happened to her hands, she finds it a very sore subject, hiding her scarred wrists under long sleeves and changing the subject when it turns to it. If someone of lower station were to pry at the subject, she would react with swift, unceasing retribution, and will even teleport unfortunate souls into volcanoes if they wrong her.

Yet, despite being Queen, Vine chooses not to marry or have children. She cites her brother Paimon for this reason, stating that child-bearing and marriage was nothing but tedious work, and states that as immortals, the question of their inheritance is rather moot since most of them will live until Armageddon at the very least. Vine enjoys romance stories, but choose to play coy, often flirting but never really pursuing. It’s unknown if Vine has had any lovers, as she does not openly speak of her romantic relationships.

In truth, there is only one person whom Vine treasures above all; her companion Triss. Aside from letting Triss live in the Emerald Tower and hiring her as her illustrator, Vine also shares secrets of the future with her, and they seem to operate on the same wavelengths, enjoying things from afar.

_______

Extra! Bio For Triss, Queen Vine's Imp Companion

Name: Beatriss (“Triss”) Lansher

Sex: Female

Age: 21-23

Birthday: August 21st (Leo)

Sexuality: Asexual (Biromantic)

Demon Class: Imp (30 cm tall)

Location: The Royal Circle (Pride Ring)

Bio:

In truth, no one really knows who Triss is or where she came from. At some point however, during one of Queen Vine’s visits to the Goetic Assemblies, she performed a “magic trick” where she pulled Triss from her long sleeves, and then let her rest on her shoulder for the remainder of the evening. At first Triss was dismissed as nothing more than a royal pet…however as she began making regular attendances at Goetia parties as Vine’s guest it was clear the Queen had a definite soft spot for her.

Triss did manage to secure a position as Royal Illustrator for the Queen’s writing projects. Despite being small enough to fit in a teapot, she is an exceptional artist, and can often draw detailed sketches based off of one lone observation. Triss presently lives in the Emerald Tower, and despite being something of an oddity, appears to be very happy and comfortable in Vine’s service.

Personality:

Triss, like Vine, loves reading about dramatic stories and enjoys the adventure, the plot-twists, and romance arcs of people the Queen writes about. Because she has an insider view on particular Hellborns and humans, she gets the inside scoop on a lot of complex stories from all around. Despite her small stature, she doesn’t seem to be afraid of much, perhaps made comfortable by the Queen’s protection. Triss is also quite bold and blunt. She’s not afraid to use the Queen’s favoritism to her advantage, often pointing to things she wants and asking Vine to get them for her. It’s an effective strategy nonetheless, and Vine rarely denies her anything.

Triss is also a great lover of the arts. Drawing is one fo the things she’s truly passionate for, and she has a creative streak that can imagine many scenarios at the drop of a hat. She also has a great love of charcuterie and cheeses, and it’s believed that a major part of her contract with Vine as her employee is to always have a full charcuterie plate by her bedside. Given it’s the preferred snack of the two when they’re observing the antics of their favorite characters, the Emerald Tower is outfitted with a fromagerie suitable to their tastes.

Given her mistress is so eccentric, Triss herself can be quite the oddball too. She can be unreactive sometimes, and her obsession with cheese and fanfics are often questionable by most.

#main post #rules #biography

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gamenu · 3 months ago

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SHIPPING INFO. answer the following for your muse(s) so people know how shipping works on your blog.

what’s your OTP for your muse(s)?

I'm a fandomless OC. Don't necessarily have any OTPs for her! Who ever she has chemisty with, I'm usually down for.

what are you willing to RP when it comes to shipping?

I'm a very malleable person. I go with the flow and I'm down for pretty much anything with the exception of the universal no nos.

how large does the age gap have to be to make it uncomfortable?

On the premise of both parties being mortal? Highly dependent on age. Cause a 10 year gap between a 30 and 40 year old is no where near as jarring as a 18 year old and a 28 year old. If they're immortal and above age of consent? Free game for all of 'em tbh.

are you selective when shipping?

Extremely. I didn't bother with shipping really at all until the last 3 years ago or so here. And I've been here since 2010. It was just a case of it never being on my radar, and then seeing how OCs (specifically females) were treated just for even asking to ship? Kinda left me a little timid in it. So I have to have at least talked to my potential partner for over a year? Not consistently, but enough to where as I'd be comfy just jumping in their DMs and sending random things etc. Basically, we gotta be buddies. And then when we discuss dynamics, I have to be able to see potential for growth but also enjoyable moments. Whether those moments be good or bad, if me and my partner aren't getting enjoyment out of it, what's the point?

how far do steamy moments have to go before they’re considered NSFW?

The moment clothes come off or groping starts etc, I'm going to request we fade to black on tumblr, and if my partner wants to write it out, we move to discord. No dirty tango for you on tumblr!

does one have to ask to ship with you?

Absolutely. I'll always ask first, so I'd like that same respect back. And in all honesty, there's a 98% chance I'm gonna say yes. I'm here for a good time! One sided crushes and stuff is A-okay though without permission.

how often do you like to ship?

Honestly? Not sure how to answer this. It's a case by case situation. Where as if I find or someone finds me, and would like to ship, I'm down most times. Other than that, I'm not really seeking anything out. If it happens, it happens.

are you multiship?

Yes and no. Yes in the sense I'm not single-ship. I can, will, and do have more than one shipping partner. I refuse to restrict or be restricted. However, no in the sense of I will only ship with one version of a character. So if I'm shipping with a Rem.po from Aval.on C.ode, I will not ship with another one. If my partner has been gone for over a year, and I have not heard from the writer, I will break that ship off. I know life happens, but communication is important all the same.

are you ship obsessed or ship more-or-less?

More-or-less I guess? I don't seek ships out. If it happens then great! If not, no skin off my back.

what is your favorite ship in your current fandom?

Fandomless baby~ ✨

finally, how does one ship with you?

Scream and declare your love for my character from the top of the mountains-- Nah JK. Literally just shoot me a DM or an IM and we can go from there. Like I said, I'm really easy going and down for whatever most times.

Tagged by: @lumoire Tagging: @novaragno, @convxction, @weavinghands, @electricea, and literally anyone else who wants to do it, idk who has and who hasn't.

#༼ 🌟 chain mail: for your kicks ༽#༼ 🌟 ooc: afk and probably eating pizza rolls ༽#well this was interesting to do and think about

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plutoswritingplanet · 1 year ago

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Cross The Line (Zeke Yeager x Female!Reader)

a/n: this one's quite old, which i'm sure is obvious, considering the writing style. Wrote this for my dear friend as a Christmas present. Cross-posted on AO3.

Warnings: Dubious Consent, Enemies to Lovers to eh?, terrible pickup lines, Desk Donging

Summary: A spy, tasked with keeping a close eye on Warchief Zeke Yeager gets more than she bargained for.

The darkness surrounding you does nothing to soothe the worry, building up deep in the pit of your stomach. A suffocating feeling crushing your chest, as you stand still, inside a spacious room filled with bookshelves and a single, mahogany desk in the middle. Large windows overlook the courtyard, midnight sky full of blinking stars, every single one of them seemingly laughing at your feeble attempts at keeping your composure. It's useless, you are aware of that, there is no way this whole situation was a coincidence. You hug yourself tightly, ignoring the shivers running up your spine in waves, and take a deep breath.

- Do you want something to drink?

His voice brings you back to reality like a slap to the face. Rich, low tone resounding in the silence of the room. He's already pouring brown liquid for two, slender fingers holding out your drink. You force a smile and take the alcohol in a shaky hold. Your fingers touch and you have to suppress the whole body shiver that wrecks you. His glasses reflect the light of the small desk lamp, the only source of light inside this room. You can barely see his golden eyes, but you can sense his gaze on you.

And so, here you are. Alone in a room with Zeke fucking Yeager.

The alcohol burns your throat on the way down, as you take it all in one swing, earning a small chuckle from the man. Another wave of shivers shakes your body. You place the now empty glass on the edge of the desk in front of you. There are some documents thrown on it, along with an expensive looking pen, a pot of ink and some other small trinkets that remain mysterious to you.

Well, if you truly were going to die here, at least the room is nice. A small comfort, but it's better to land on an expensive carpet, than to bleed out in an alley.

- Did you find the party pleasant?

Zeke Yeager makes his way towards you, shoulder brushing yours as he leans against the edge of the desk. The glass sways in his grip, liquid sloshing inside. He brings the rim to his lips and takes a long sip, eyes ghosting over your tense frame and back to your face. You swallow hard, ignoring the bile rising in your stomach, and force the sweetest smile you can muster, which looks more like someone is pulling your face apart.

- It was very enjoyable, yes - your voice sounds rough and shaky in the oppressive silence of the room.

If your skittish demeanor hasn't given you out yet, the quiver in your voice surely did.

Zeke seems to notice you wince, eyebrows shooting up as a smirk quirks up his mustache. The lamp casts light on one side of his face, making him look much more intimidating, than ever. The way he towers over you even as he's leaning back in a seemingly relaxed manner is making you sweat.

You've seen Zeke Yeager in many situations. With his family, drinking with his friends, doing groceries, feeding a stray cat, talking to his superiors, his subordinates. As you watched from the safety of shadowed alleys, he almost always remained basked in the sun, blonde hair shining and eyes bright for someone who's seen as much as he did. You knew his routines, which café he liked to visit in the morning, where he was buying cigarettes. You observed everything, that was your job.

Now he was the one watching you, sharp features deepened by the dark. Once bright eyes glued to your frame like a predator ready to attack its prey. You wanted to get out of here as soon as possible, needed to get out.

- I'm surprised none of your comrades came here with you - he mused, placing his glass on the desk next to yours - Weren't they afraid to let you into the belly of the beast?

Oh God, oh fuck.

- Are they watching us now? - there is something hidden in that question, something you can't entirely decipher, but makes your blood run cold nonetheless.

As a last ditched effort at saving your mission, you shrug, pull your eyebrows in a "I'm totally confused, what are you talking about?" fashion and give the least convincing performance of your lifetime.

- I'm not sure what you're implying...

Your statement doesn't get the chance to properly hang in the room, as Zeke brings down his hand hard on the wooden desk. The bang makes you jump up and squeak in a very un-soldier-like manner.

- Do you think I'm an idiot? - he asks, all pleasantness gone from his voice.

If he looked intimidating before, now he looks downright demonic. The light catching on his glasses hides his eyes, but you can feel them drilling into your very soul. The intensity of his gaze takes the breath right out of your lungs, and you force your legs to move backwards, step by step.

- I have seen you (Y/N) - he stalks closer, the nicely tailored suit he's wearing is pulled tight against his impressive build - Always in the shadows, watching my every step.

He chuckles, hand flying up to run his fingers through his hair, a few locks falling on his forehead.

- If I hadn't known any better, I would have thought you were in love with me.

You sneer, teeth full on display like a wild animal in a cage. Your back hits the wall as Zeke stands in front of you. The stars keep laughing at you behind his back.

- Don't be ridiculous - there is a growl in your voice, as you finally let go of any pretense - I hate you.

Zeke hums in thought. His body slumps back to a relaxed stance, one hand reaching into the back pocket of his trousers, producing a slim cigarette and a small box of matches. There is no urgency in his movements, as he places the cigarette between his lips and lights it on the first try.

You watch the end flare up before Zeke blows a cloud of smoke right in your face, the smell making you cough and sputter.

- Love and hate aren't as far from each other, as you might think - he sounds like a teacher, explaining something to his students.

There is a small tilt to his head, as he waits patiently for you to stop coughing, before he continues.

- They're both extremely intense feelings, both can lead to unexpected actions.

You scoff, eyes shifting around the room, trying to find any way of escape. There was no way you could make it to the door, he would catch you in a heartbeat the moment you have begun to run. That left you with one option.

The window.

It wasn't ideal, of course, but it could've been so much worse. First story window, concrete below, nothing to break the fall. Still, you were pretty sure you've made worse jumps in training. You still have a rather large scar on your thigh from when your ODM gear malfunctioned.

- I'm going to ask you again, since you didn't answer me the last time - Zeke stands tall in front of you, lit cigarette hanging between his lips - Are your comrades watching us right now?

You've made your decision then and there.

With quick fingers you unclasp a pearl bracelet that has been sitting looking pretty on your wrist. Zeke doesn't get much time to react as you chuck the piece of jewelry in his face. He flinches, waving his hand in the air. It gives you the opening you need as you bolt straight ahead, ducking under the man's arm. Your dress bunches up around your knees, as you all but fly through the office, aiming to body roll out of the window.

Before you can even touch the glass however, you feel blunt nails digging into your arm, and you are forcefully thrown backwards, Your body crashes to the floor with a loud thud, your backbone erupting with pain.

You get no chance of collecting yourself, as Zeke pounces on you, hands pinning yours to the floor, your legs crushed under his body. His hair is ruffled in an exquisite way, paired with his darkened gaze sends another shiver down your spine.

Both of you are breathing heavily, chests heaving, the sound of panting filling the room alongside the rush of blood in your ears.

- Get the fuck off me - you grit through your teeth, whole body struggling in his vice-like grip.

- You'll just run away again - his voice is calm despite his rough state - I can't just let you go, now that I finally have you in my grasp.

Something in the way he says that last sentence makes you halt your movements, He notices the change and risks getting closer to your face. His hot breath smells like cigarette smoke, as it fans over your collarbone. You watch his growing smirk in downing realization.

- My little spy.

Your struggling kicks back tenfold, as your entire body spasms under him. You lean your head back against the wooden floor and bring it forward with as much force as possible. Pain shoots through your forehead, and you hear Zeke curse loudly at the impact. As soon as his hold on you falters, you're scrambling backwards on the floor, desperately trying to get to the door and as far away from the man in front of you, as possible.

You're not able to get far, despite your best efforts. Zeke's hand grabs your ankle, and you are dragged back to him, thighs scraping on the wooden floor.

His nose is bleeding, a path of red staining his blonde beard. Seeing him like this fills you with a sort of satisfaction you dare not to name. A smirk of your own forms on your lips, despite the pain in your body. Zeke looks positively murderous, yet there seems to be something much more terrifying in those golden eyes of his. Something darker that makes your gut twist in anticipation.

- You little bitch - the casual way in which he states that, would've made you laugh, were you both in any other situation.

- Fuck you - you sneer and gasp, as Zeke crawls over your body, one hand slipping into your hair, tugging so far back, your neck starts to hurt.

- Fuck me? - he asks, getting closer to your exposed neck, his stained beard smearing blood into your skin - Fuck you.

There is no time to recover, as he cranes your neck even further back. You yelp as sharp teeth bite the skin right above your collarbone. It's not enough to draw blood, but will probably leave a mark for a few days. The gesture makes you shiver in his arms and you're not sure whether it's from disgust, or newly awoken arousal.

Zeke licks the abused flesh, hot tongue dragging itself up the expanse of your neck, under your chin.

- You taste like cherries.

This observation makes both of you freeze in your places. Because this sort of intimacy should be reserved for lovers, not two mortal enemies, seconds from tearing each other to pieces. And yet, here you are, writhing below him, watching with heavy eyelids the way blood from his nose slides down his long neck, soaking into the collar of his white shirt, ruining it forever. Your hand moves seemingly on its own accord, trailing a shaky path up his chest, fingers ghosting over his anpe, before finally settling in his blonde locks.

- I despise you - you whisper and it sounds like a confession.

Zeke smiles, all blood and teeth, and that's all you need. Your fingers tighten in his hiar, earning you a low hiss, before you drag his head down, lips meeting roughly and with such hunger yu scare yourself for a second. However, all feelings of apprehension dissipate, as soon as he kisses you back, the force of his assault on your lips pushing your head back against the floor. His hand slides from your hair, fingers gently tracing the outline of your jaw, thumb stroking the delicate flesh just below your eye.

It's too gentle, too much like love.

You bite his bottom lip, overwhelming taste of iron filling your senses. He's chuckling again, teeth clicking with yours as you open your eyes to shoot him a look, that you hope is unamused.

Shit. You realize he is quite beautiful like that. With his glasses at the tip of his nose, hair standing in every direction and lips bruised from all the attention they recieved just moments ago. He's breathing heavily, chest brushing against yours and, as your eyes drag lower, you notice something far more interesting going on in his pants.

- Are you sure, you want this to continue? - his voice is barely above whisper, every word punctuated by a soft kiss to the middle of your cleavage.

Are you? You're convinced you would never know for certain. ut right now, it makes no difference. With your own bruised lips, you smile, mirroring his smirk from earlier.

- Why, you're worried about me?

- Sure - that's the only warning you get, before Zeke dives back down again, pushing his tongue into your mouth.

Zeke's hands leave your face in favor of travelling down your body. He's giving your breasts a squeeze, before moving lower, finally settling on your hips, where he begins to lightly pull at your dress, like an impatient child waiting to unpack its present. Drunk on the high of the moment, you push against his chest, letting him fall back on the floor.

Without waisting any time, you scramble on top of him, stradling his hips and letting the hem of the dress ride up your thighs.

His hands are immediately on you, caressing the muscles of your legs, finally within his reach. You however have other plans. Shifting forward, you watch his pupil dilate, as both of your hands come to rest on his neck. A smile is pulling at your lips, teeth flashing in the dark of the night, as you squeeze ever so slightly.

Zeke gasps, before letting his head fall back, neck on full display, like his making an offeringfrom himself to an angry God. Hooded eyes watch you from below, drinking in every curve of your body, every dangerous flash in your eyes.

- I could kill you right now - you mutter and feel his body shudder under you.

That wasn't entirely true, you were very well aware that a simple choking wasnt enough to kill a titan shifter. That being said, the power you feel while having his pulse under the palm of your hand leaves your head spinning.

- Keep looking at me like that, and I just might let you.

Zeke's hands slip under your tights as he pushes himself upwards into a sitting position, with you held close in his lap. You an smell the cologne he chose for tonight, mixed with cigarette smoke and the ever present scent of blood. You head is swimming, as you push your nose into the crook of his neck.

With a grunt, he holds you in his arms and stands up, swaying slightly under your weight. The display of strength makes you squeal, feet dangling in the air behind his back. Your hands leave his neck in favor of holding onto your dear life, nails biring into the soft material of his shirt.

The desk creaks in protest, as Zeke sits you on the edge, stepping back for a moment to throw off his jacket and start unbuttoning his shirt. He gets halfway through, before he becomes impatient and just tears the material righ off, his torso on display before your hungry eyes. Capturing your lips in another searing kiss, you pull him even closer, chest rising frantically in rhythm with his, and you can feel his prominent excitement on the inside of your thigh.

Rough hands start tugging at your dress again, and with a grunt of protest you slap them away.

- If you ruin my fucking dress I'll... - he shuts you up with another kiss, and you feel his smile against your lips.

- It does look very pretty on you - he complements with a smirk.

- Please don't say what I think you're go...

- It would look better on the floor though.

Both of you stare at each other for a moment. Zeke's face is a mixture of goofy happiness and genuine pride in this terrible pick-up line, and for a split-second you feel like you just might fall for him. All you can do is try to stop your laughter from bubbling over, unfortunately, unsuccessful. Soft giggles fill the room, cut short by a moan, as Zeke dives down to suck at the skin in the juncture of your neck and your shoulder. his hands find the back of your dress, struggling with the zipper for a moment, before you feel the material loosen and fall from your chest, pooling under your stomach.

Zeke gives and appreciative hum, sliding his palms across any flesh available to his grasp, making you melt in your spot. You nearly shatter then and there, when his hand finally, finally reaches between your legs.

- Would you look at that - Zeke hums under his breath, as one finger ghosts over your clothed entrance.

- Shut the fuck up - you're lushing hard and his resounding chuckle only makes the matters worse - Oh, will you just...

- Since you asked so nicely.

The next smart retort, you've prepared comes out as a strangled moan, when Zeke finally pushes your underwear to the side and slides one finger in. His movements are slow and methodical. He's looking closely at your face, searching for changes in your expressions. After a moment he adds another finger, and your hips start moving on their own accord, shifting on the wooden surface of the desk.

- Shit - you curse under your breath, when Zeke finds that one spot, your whole body jolting in his grasp.

- There you are - he cooes, curling his fingers again, your back arching at the wave of pleasure.

You try not to be unnerved by the way he's watching you from behind his glasses. Like he's committing every move you make to his memory, drinking in your your writhing form like a man parched.

Zeke leans forward, supporting his weight on his free arm beside you. He starts to nip at your heaving chest, coming higher and higher, until he reaches your lips, swallowing every little moan escaping them. It was easy to loose your head completely, when he worked your body like that. his fingers pumped in and out of you at a steady pace, curling inside and making your body tense up. At the same time, his thumb rubbed deliberate circles into your clit, every single one sending a wave of shivers crushing through you.

- I have waited for quite some time to catch you, my sweet spy - Zeke is muttering in your ear, his hot breath fanning over delicate flesh - Always watching me from the shadows.

You try and fail miserably at keeping your voice down, as his pace quickens, a long whine pushing past your lips, as familiar pressure build in the pit of your stomach.

- Well, I've done some watching of my own - he chuckles, when another shaky moan leaves you - And let me tell you - your hips snap forward, chasing your end - I like what I'm seeing.

And with that, the pressure in your stomach snaps. You throw your head back with a silent scream, your entire body tensing. Zeke works you through your orgasm until you have to shove his hand away. Exhausted and sweaty, you fall back onto the desk, limbs dangling lifelessly.

- Damn - you breathe out, dragging a hand over your face.

Damn indeed, you don't remember the last time you actually came that hard. Trying not to feel to conflicted, you start moving your limbs, slowly dragging your body upwards.

Zeke is watching you a few steps back, arms crossed and a tent still very visible in his pants. He moves closer to you, gently dragging one finger over the curve of your torso. Goosebumps immediately follow the path and you suck in a sharp breath.

- I'll let you go after this - his voice is gebtle in the silence of the night, you can barely hear him above your heavy breathing - But the next time I catch you...

He drives his point home by leaning in and dragging his teeth over the exposed flesh of your shoulder. A small moan leaves your mouth and you know, you're not ready for this night to end.

Shaking fingers find the leather belt holding his pants up on his hips and you tug lightly. Zeke hums deep in his throat and lets you meneuver him back between your legs.

- We'll cross that bridge once we get there - you breathe, bringing your chin up, so you can capture his lips with your own.

This kiss feels different. It's delicate and, dare you say it, loving. Tongues move together and you barely register the telltale sound of a belt being unbuckled. It's only after you feel him at your entrance, you finally separate from the kiss.

Zeke wraps an arm behind your back, bringing you even closer, and you close your eyen in anticipation. Suddenly his other hand finds your chin, gripping it tightly and forcing you to look him in the eye.

As soon as you make eye contact, he pushes himself into you, as far as he can go, before your face scrunches up in discomfort. You both breathe heavily, frozen in place, as you try to accomodate his rather impressive size.

- Zeke - you breathe out and his eyes snap back to you in a flash - Move.

And he does. Slow at first, gebtle rolls of his hips making you squirm in hsi grasp. Son, he speeds up, fingers digging into the flesh of your hips.

- Shit - he slurs out, speeding up yet again, the desk beggining to creak in protest against his forceful thrusts.

You throw your head back, eyes catching a glimpse of the stars in the midnight sky. Before you can determine if they're still laughing at you, Zeke slides his hand up your body, giving one of your breasts an appreciative squeeze, before finding purchase in your hair. Your pulse quickens and low moan leaves your mouth, as he tugs forcefully at the strands.

Soon after that, he pulls you closer, chest flush against his. Both of you move in harmony, moans mingling with eachother. Sensing how close you are, Zeke reaches between your joined bodies, rubbing circles into your clit with newly found determination. You take a long, wheezing gulp of air, your entire body spasming at once, earning you a deep growl from the man.

Zeke fucks you through your orgasm, his movements growing more and more erratic, as he nears an end of his own. Finally, he burries his face in the crook of your neck and you feel his whole body shudder. With a strangled moan he removes himself from you and seconds later you feel something warm on your thigh.

You hold him close to you, as both of you take a while to recover. The sound of your panting filling the room as you come down from your high, wrapped in each other's limbs.

Zeke is the first one to move, slipping out of your embrace. You watch with heavy eyelids, as he puts his pants back on and starts to shuffle through his pockets, only to produce a small handkerchief. Biting your lip, you try to stop the blush, as he starts to gently clean you up, all the roughness from before gone from his touch.

The intimacy of the gesture makes you heart stop for a second, before your brain catches up.

This wasn't meant to happen.

- Leave through the back door - he tells you in a hushed whisper, throwing the handkrechief somewhere out of your sight.

Zeke helps you up, same hands that moments ago left imprints in the flesh of your hips, now slid your dress bakc on, finger fighting with the zipper at the back.

- See you around, Zeke Yeager - despite your best efforts, there is a tinge od sadness in your voice.

Before yu can escape his grasp for good, Zeke catches your hand in his and brings it to his mouth, placing a delicate kiss on the soft skin of your knuckles.

- I'll search the shadows for you.

There is no point in fighting off the smile that spills onto your face, cheeks heating up just for a moment.

- Happy hunting - you muse, even though he's already caught you.

#my writing #snk x reader #zeke yeager x reader #zeke yeager smut #aot x reader #attack on titan #shingeki no kyoujin smut

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quickdeaths · 1 year ago

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(I saw a lot of people talking about ships and such recently, and while this isn't, like, a PSA or anything, I wanted to clarify some things about my own position on shippy stuff. I do really like writing romantic ships, but I also have some personal tastes on how I like to do stuff just in case anyone is curious or interested or whatever. Maybe I'll add this as a link on my pinned? who knows)

Firstly, I've said this before, but my primary shipping interest is f/f. I don't have any preference on like, CanonxCanon, CanonxOC, OCxOC, I love them all, but I do specifically prefer wlw ships. This absolutely does not mean I will not do other things, I am happy to do any gender pairing (if it works for the characters). F/F stuff is just more likely to catch my eye immediately. As a general rule, even outside of romantic shipping, I am here to give female and nb muses attention.

Secondly, I am slow-burn biased to the extreme. I like taking my time with ships and building a lot of scaffolding for a relationship. There are characters who require more "work" before they can get into a relationship at all (Shinobu, Izumi, Percy), and characters who could feasibly jump into a relationship very easily (Anzu, Tsubasa), but in all cases, I'm very long-term in how I prefer things to go, and even with those characters who are quicker to romance, there's still a lot of emotional things that will take time. CanonxCanon where there is in-canon basis for the ship is the only real exception, but even then, I still like to establish a lot of individual dynamic/portrayal things before jumping headfirst in. I like to see the chemistry play out in threads and really feel "who are these characters together?"

Thirdly, I am ship-exclusive. Most of my characters are OCs, so typically it's sort of a one-way street with other people's canons, where I am ship-exclusive with someone else's character without asking for anything in return. This is not the case with my canons, which is sometimes why I'm slightly more apprehensive about shipping them, because whether with an OC or a different canon, I will be practicing ship-exclusivity on my end, and I want it in return as well. I don't want to force someone into that if they don't want to do that, but it is a rule I won't budge on. Even for ships I really like, like Kaede/Maki, I would not be comfortable shipping my Maki with a Kaede who had like, three other Makis that they also shipped with.

Fourthly, if you ship with me I will terrorize you with OOC conversation, headcanons, random images or posts that remind me of Them, and probably commissioned ship art at some point because i've lost control of my life. You will never again know peace. I promise you excitement and engagement on my part for sure, I acquire ship brainrot very strongly and I'm very enthusiastic! Especially stuff that feels very personally-built and unique, whether that's stuff with OCs, or canons that just have a lot of personal flair, I will basically become this image about the ship.

Anyway, I love shipping and I love plotting and ooc communication, and my IMs are always open to chat.

#i don't have a psa tag and this isn't a psa anyway but like #i have a lot of thoughts about ships

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musecaravan-info · 1 year ago

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Cath

"We each survive in our own way." ~ Sarah J. Maas ~

Basic Information

FACE/BODY CLAIM: Colin Farrell

AGE: Born around 750 CE, his human appearance looks to be in the mid to late 30's

EYES: So dark brown they're almost black

HAIR: Dark brown, but peppered with gray; his hair is almost shoulder length and always manages to look 'ruffled'; he also usually has a goatee

HEIGHT: 5'10

PRIMARY OUTFIT: One word --> 'Class' - Cath always looks his best and is always in name brand items. Think high-class business casual. He also likes jewelry, so he's never without a ring or two, a necklace, and a pair of tasteful earrings.

Personality

Cath is a lot like the perception people have of cats - aloof, charismatic, and more than a little sly - the kind of person who you might feel is always trying to ‘pull one over on you’ even if he’s not. He's got a silver tongue, and chances are your muse won't be sure at first if he's charmingly harmless, or coolly dangerous. He likes attention... sometimes. But other times he'd prefer to just be left alone. He's also a bit fickle with his wants, generally making himself hard to read. Although very much a ‘what’s in it for me�� kind of guy, Cath does have his own set of morals. Certain things might convince him to take on a charity case… but good luck figuring out what those things are.

Abilities

Transformation - Cath can transform into a cat… but not just ANY cat. He can transform into ALL of them. He’s always a shade of black so dark he looks like shadows, but if you pick a cat (living or extinct) he can shift into it.

Magic - As Morgan le Fey was dying she transferred the last of her power into an amulet which Cath now wears around his neck. He can sometimes tap into it and use her powers for his own, but he doesn’t do it on a regular basis. As a familiar, he also has his own magic which he uses for doing small things like lighting fires or calling small objects to him.

Smooth-talker - Cath is very good at convincing people of things when he feels like doing so. It’s a little like a jedi mind trick - people can and do still say no… but usually only if they have a very good reason to keep their minds from straying.

Weaknesses

Witches - While he’d be loathe to admit it, Cath IS a familiar at heart. As much as he might not WANT a new witch, that doesn’t mean he’s not drawn to them (male or female); it’s in his nature. The battle for him is a powerful one, but he’s aided somewhat by Morgan’s amulet.

Romance

Cath likes to have fun. If your muse does, too, and he likes what he sees, that’s really all it takes to get him into bed. An actual relationship takes a little more time and a LOT more trust, but it’s possible. He’s not someone to press if it seems like his advances aren’t wanted. If your muse tells him to back off he will with no hard feelings, but if they goad him, they might be in for a night (or day) they'll never forget.

Where to Find Him

Cath hunts out the desperate - the people with nowhere left to turn. So, really, he can be found almost anywhere. He sniffs them out and then tries to make a deal. You won’t have to sell him your soul - he’s not a demon, after all - but you might find his ‘prices’ to be… unconventional.

Verses

Just because a verse isn't listed here doesn't mean I'm not interested in writing it. I adore all kinds of AUs, and welcome the chance to get creative with my muses. If you've seen a verse that another of my muses has, and you'd like to see this muse in something similar, let me know. You can also check out my 'Plot Ideas' tag, too. ^_^

Main Verse:

Once upon a time (in a kingdom not so far away) Cath was the favored familiar of one Morgan le Fey. Some of the stories about him are true… some aren’t. But you won’t get him to tell you which ones. He served his mistress faithfully and willingly for many centuries. However, now that her death has freed him of those bonds, he has no desire to aid another magic-user in her stead. She was his as equally as he was hers, and Cath can’t see anyone ever replacing her. These days he works freelance - using his magic to work the Black Market to his advantage. If you need it, Cath can get it for you. If the price is right.

Current/Ongoing Threads

If your thread with Cath isn't listed here it's probably because it's been long enough since your last reply that I thought you'd dropped it. Message me to let me know you're still interested, and I'll happily add you to the list (with no pressure for a reply.) ♡

None at the Moment

Your Thread Here!

Stuff That's Good to Know Before Starting a Thread

Things Cath Can Do For You (For a Price):

Need someone watched? Discreetly? Cath’s the best of the best.

Want something? Anything? If it’s got a physical form, Cath can make it happen.

Have something to sell? Something shady? He’ll find you a buyer.

Need to disappear? Erase yourself? No one will find you once Cath’s through.

Need dirt on someone? Information? He’ll give you more than you ever wanted to know.

Links

Please keep in mind, this blog is an ongoing work in progress. Not all of these links may lead somewhere, but they're here because they link to potential tags for this muse.

All Things Cath

Headcanons

Drabbles

All Threads

Ask Replies

Meme Replies

Aesthetics

Face

Special Links

Original Blog

Return To Full Muse List

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thewingedmuse · 2 years ago

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hi muse <3 thank you for answering the Entwined Bond AND delivering it on valentine's day oh my god. it means so much to me <3 it caught me by surprise as well LOL maybe this is why i had the urge to send u that ask the day before vday🤭🤭

i'm not sure if i've said this before but i rlly love the way you write! the way you describe things, it's so lovely. are you a poet by any chance?

when you started talking abt how much soul is like, i immediately went "she is so beautiful🥹" and OMG i was very happy to hear that there was an aura of luck surrounding my soul😇😇 lucky girl syndrome things hehehehe🤘🏻🤘🏻

regarding my soul's message to me, i feel like it resonated well because i think i'm a very impatient person and also cuz i live in a fast paced society, i tend to 'walk very fast' and not slow down and actually enjoy and appreciate the process. i have no idea how to slow down and idk what that means but i'll take that into consideration and maybe try to relax and enjoy my life abit more~~ maybe because society demands so much nowadays, that's why i'm so eager to become what i wish to be as time doesn't wait for no one and i won't get any younger soon.

ALSO I LOVE THE SMELL OF BABY POWDER OMG LOLLLL. but wait, does that mean i have 2 romantic soulmates or smth? bcuz the peaches one said she doesn't want to answer the question and then you went to look for another? i'm pretty confused. but wow the peaches girl. i hope she's fine HAHAH but wow so mysterious "find out when the time is right" i hope so girl... although i don't really have any knowledge on past lives HAHA!

my past life sounded so good omg. 'so boyish' i lowkey am now too but still have some fem in me hehe💅🏻💅🏻this female soulmate of mine seems so cute LOL "me! my love!", it sounds like something i would say too to my crush HAHAHAHAHA i love bantering and teasing people i love so i guess it's a trait from my past life as well ;)

when you talked about lessons i've learnt in the past life, you said that "how to take care of herself better bcuz she wldnt want ppl who love her to get sad over her" i actually cried (for real). recently i've been struggling with my body image and have been super hard on myself too and didn't rlly take good care of myself, so to hear that, i teared up and cried for a few mins LOL. thank you, i needed to hear that.

i'm pretty sure this female soulmate of mine looks just as pretty❤️

AHHHH this is so sweet, her message to me🥹🥹

i have no idea what the light and dark pink makeup palette meant but i'm pretty sure i'll know soon.

again thank you muse for this beautiful reading. thank you for ur generous time and energy <333 so grateful for you

Hiiiii Ying thank you for your detailed feedback!!! Lol yeah I'm a poet. I'm really happy whenever someone says they enjoy the way I write! Thank you so much for your appreciation 💖

It's normal to have more than 1 soulmate. After all we can be vast in soul connections. However the one who came forward for this interview would be the one who is most eager to connect with you, or have a unique message that would spur you forward on your growth.

I'm really glad this reading helped you. I got emotional too when you said you teared up reading the lessons part. I hope you'd progress with the knowledge that you are loved by many, especially your soulmate and your soul, and also many others who quietly support you 🌸 I wish you all the best in your journey!!!

#asks #feedback #thewingedmuse:entwined💟

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starlightxsvt · 3 years ago

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Home | k.mg

pairing ➳ businessman!mingyu x female!reader

genre ➳ strangers to lovers, romance, slice of life, angst, fluff, gets spicy at the end

word count ➳ 5.6k (apx)

warnings ➳ cursing, reader is really indecisive, heavy makeout, implications of sexual activity.

synopsis ➳ an attractive stranger visits your cabin for a week with whom you quickly bond, developing some strong feelings in the process; leaving you to wonder if he's worth leaving everything behind.

A/N: henlooo~ I finally posted! This has been sitting in my drafts for a while but I didn't really feel like writing for a while, hence the delay. I hope y'all enjoy this piece and please don't forget to leave some feedback! It really motivates me :)

A cool gust of wind blew by as you finished typing your last column, leaving a soothing feeling behind as you exhaled loudly. It was hard to finish this piece of writing for some reason, maybe because you lacked inspiration or maybe because your life had been monotonous for a while or simply, a mix of both. Closing your laptop you stretch your hands and legs, feeling somewhat productive. Humming a tune, you looked out the window to see a Lamborghini come to a halt at the entrance.

It piqued your interest because it's not often that people riding Lamborghini come in this cabin so genuinely you're interested in the visitor. You shifted in your chair, waiting for the man to come upstairs to the reception and sure enough a tall- really tall man dressed in a neatly pressed suit appears into your view, briskly walking towards the reception where Chan stood to greet him. You could not get a good look at his face as he moved around quickly, grabbing his small carry on and heading towards his cabin after the formalities.

You watched his tall frame walking away as you got up from your seat and moved towards Chan.

"Who is he?"

"Kim Mingyu," Chan explained, resting his arms on the reception table." A millionaire, owns a lot of companies. No wonder he looked familiar."

"Oh, really? How long is he staying?"

"He has booked for five days. Said he might extend his stay."

"I see."

"Why are you so curious though?" Chan raised a brow at you, tilting his head to a side.

"Nothing." You shrugged. "He just has different vibes than the other people that come here you know?"

Chan hummed in agreement.

There was never much visitors during the rainy season which was both a blessing and a curse. Blessing because that meant the cabin was less hectic and curse because sometimes you are bound to get a bit too bored. You were helping yourself with a cup of tea to somewhat feel re-energised when your newest and the only guest for the week appeared from his cabin, padding through the corridor and stepping into the common kitchen area. You were taken aback for a moment before you composed yourself and smiled at your guest, "Good morning, Mr. Kim. May I help you with anything?"

"Mingyu, please," the tall male replied while scanning the kitchen area. "You're the owner right? What's the food arrangement here?"

"Well, our guests generally cook for themselves or order takeout. When there are many guests I sometimes do the cooking."

Nodding, he hummed before putting in a capsule in the cappuccino machine. You took a seat by the window, tea in your hand as you watched the male move around like he knew this place. Dressed in his pajamas and judging by the fluffy mess that his hair was you assumed he had a good night's sleep.

"I hope you had a pleasant night, Mr- Mingyu." You said to your guest who had whipped out a pan from the cupboard and was making omelette. "Yes, surprisingly so. Normally I have trouble falling asleep but I slept like a baby last night," he casually conversed as he prepared his breakfast.

You smiled, "Well, I'm glad to know that. If you need anything let my staffs or me know."

"Sure. Oh- I didn't get your name though." Mingyu turned to meet your eyes.

"___," you smiled.

"___, okay."

"This is gonna be a rainy week," Hoshi said from behind you as he stood holding a tub of fresh soil for the plants in the backyard of the cabin. You sat on your knees, eyeing the plants which needed their soil changed.

"Yeah? Well, good thing there isn't much guests now."

"I think there should be, I mean it's so pretty here during the rain too. People need to look at it themselves." Hoshi complained.

"Well, most people don't like going out in the rain. Pass me the soil, Hoshi. Let's get this finished before the shower starts."

Hoshi handed you the tub of soil as the sky above started growling, full of thick black clouds. It was gonna start raining soon.

Hoshi spoke, "Oh, Mr.Kim, Mingyu you know, asked me about the beach by the marketplace. Apparently he wants to visit so he asked me if I was free to show him around."

"And let me guess, you aren't?" You rolled your eyes.

Soonyoung pouted, "No! Well I would have given him a tour today if the weather wasn't so bad. And my friends are coming tomorrow, so I'll be busy then."

"Wait- you're friends are coming?" You turned, glaring at the boy who smiles sheepishly, "Oh! Um- I didn't tell you? Well they're only staying for a couple of days and it's not like they're staying for free."

"Well, make sure they clean after themselves okay? If I see them trashing all over the place like last time, I'm kicking you out with them." You gave him a pointed look.

"Okay okay," Hoshi rolled his eyes, puffing his cheeks. "Just- take the CEO out on a tour tomorrow for me okay? I haven't seen my friends in a long time."

"Alright, I will...if the weather is good which probably won't be." You sighed, gently removing the old soil.

Hoshi mused about Mingyu, "Bummer for him, he came in a wrong time. It's weird, no? We don't have such guests like him."

"Yeah," you hummed, focused on handling your roses.

Hoshi's friend, Seokmin and Seungkwan appeared early in the morning next day as you watched Hoshi vibrate from happiness when he hugged them. You smiled to yourself, laughing at at the antics of your staff as you saw him guide his friends into their cabin. The day was once again filled with dark clouds and raining which occurred every other hour. You and Chan cleaned up and completed some chores as the noon fell.

"Should I cook something up for them?" You wondered as Chan finished cleaning the common space of the first cabin.

"Nah, Seokmin hyung is cooking for them. He's a pretty good cook actually."

"Really? That's nice." You said pulling up a chair to sit down. "Are you gonna join them? Hoshi has been with his friends since they came."

"Yeah, probably. You should join us too."

"No, I think I'm gonna take a nap. I feel so tired."

"Alright."

You watched as Chan climbed down the stairs and stepped towards the second cabin where everyone else was. You were about to head to your room when the CEO, Mingyu appeared in the kitchen.

"Oh, hello."

"Hi."

"I haven't seen you since morning," you said watching as Mingyu poured himself a glass of water.

"Yeah, I woke up early today, went for a jog."

"Ah, I see."

"Couldn't go far though, the weather sucks you know." He said leaning against the kitchen top.

"Yeah. But I heard that it should get better from tomorrow. I could show you around if you want to. Hoshi, my staff, is going to busy for a while so I can guide you around."

"Really? That would be cool." Mingyu smiled. There was a small stretch of silence as you both listened to the rainfall before he spoke, "Have you had lunch?"

"Uh-no."

"Would you like to join me?" He asked "This is the longest time I've been alone and it feels a bit weird," he murmured more to himself than you.

"I mean- I don't mind," you shrugged. "Though I should be the one doing it."

"It's okay. People say I am a good cook," Mingyu smiled, his eyes crinkling.

"Well, I suppose it wouldn't hurt to see."

It was weird how comfortable you felt watching Mingyu being clumsy and bump into things as he prepared your meal. It felt like you've been doing this forever- like you've known him forever and you thought to yourself what was suddenly wrong with you. He made small talk as he cooked and it felt easy talking with him- almost impossible to believe that he was stranger. He was friendly and easy to get along with, definitely not a cold and grumpy businessman like you imagined him to be.

Mingyu grinned as he set down the food in front of you- chicken soup, rice and cheese omelette. His eyes twinkled excitedly as he watched you take a bite, waiting for you to say something.

"What are you? A part time chef or something?" You tried not to moan as you chewed because it was that good. Mingyu laughed- a sweet, shy laugh that had his canines showing and his eyes forming crescents. "Thank you. I learned from my mom. I like cooking for myself when I get the time which is not often," he smiled- almost sadly.

"Well, you can cook for me all you want as long as you're here because this is amazing!" You grinned at him, cheeks puffed with food.

Mingyu chuckled softly as he dug in and you both started eating. It felt nice, to talk to someone new and spend time with them, someone other than Chan or Hoshi. It was a nice change- a change you probably needed for a while.

"So...What brings you here?" You asked as you finished your food, setting down the spoon and leaning back into the chair. Mingyu who was still eating, looked at you with a perplexed expression so you spoke, "I mean...we don't generally have guests like you. And it's not even a good time to visit...so I was wondering what brought you here?"

"Guests like me? What does that mean?"

"I mean...rich, okay?" You fumbled, feeling awkward. Maybe you shouldn't have asked. "Like...there are fancier places to visit, you know..."

Mingyu smiled at your words for a moment before he deadpanned, "I'm running away."

"Running away?" You gasped, almost jumping from your seat, "From who? The cops?"

"It would have been better but no, my family," he said, his voice as serious as ever.

"Oh...I see," you fell quiet. It definitely wasn't the answer you expected. You both remained silent for a while as he started out the window, lost in thoughts. "It must have been really bad if you're hiding out here." You spoke softly.

"It has always been," he mumbled. "I just couldn't take it anymore, you know? I desperately needed a break," he spoke more to himself than you. Instead of prodding further, you sat quietly, watching him and listening to his words. Seeing him now, he definitely looks troubled and you didn't exactly have the words to console him.

So you whispered, "Well, I hope it gets better."

Later that night, you find Hoshi and his friends and Chan preparing for a bonfire in the front yard of the cabin.

"Wow, you all are really having fun, no?" You said as you fisted your hands in your pockets from the chilly weather. The air was colder than other nights and everyone including you had put on some warm clothes.

"You wanna join us?" Seokmin asked as he stacked logs on top of each other.

"Nah, it's fine. You four carry on," you patted his back as you started walking back towards the cabin and saw Chan and Hoshi coming out with some boxes in their hands.

"Hey! There are marshmallows in the kitchen cabinet if you want.... nevermind," you finished as you saw beer cans and soju bottles in their hands.

"We're gonna get drunk baby!" Soonyoung yelled, grinning like a fool.

"Hyung, you look drunk already," Chan gave him a side look as they trudged towards the bonfire.

Laughing at their antics you climbed the stairs to the kitchen, preparing some hot chocolate for yourself. Holding the mug on one hand you knocked on the door to Mingyu's room, checking up on him since you haven't seen him since lunch.

The door opened revealing Mingyu in a baggy shirt and pajamas, his hair fluffy and messy.

"Hey," you chriped. "Wanted to check up on you. You wanna join the others in the bonfire?"

"Nah, I'm good. I've been watching them from the balcony." He smiled, his pointy canines showing.

"Oh, I see."

"You wanna come in? I've been getting lonely." He offered, moving away from the door to make space for you.

"Uh- I don't mind," you murmured, surprised that he asked you to come in. You tentatively stepped in and it was fair to say that you were surprised to see the room neat and pristine as most guests kept their room messy.

He ushered you into the balcony, which had a great view of your yard and the forest behind. You saw others laughing loudly as Soonyoung acted something out. Mingyu's voice pulled you out of your thoughts.

"You didn't join them?"

"Nah, they can get too loud sometimes," you chuckled, taking a seat on the bench. You eyed an empty mug lying by, guessing that Mingyu already had his fill of hot chocolate.

Mingyu took a seat beside you, stretching his legs and sighing as he mused, "The view is great."

You hummed your agreement. It was indeed. Not only did you have the full view of your yard and the forest, but you could see a vast horizon of the night sky, some stars twinkling through the clouds.

"It's even more beautiful during summer. You can see so many stars that it feels unreal." You told him.

"Then I will try to visit again during summer," he smiled and you were not sure if he was serious or joking. However you replied with a smile, "You're always welcome."

A silence falls among you two after that but it's not uncomfortable, as you both watched the night grow and Soonyoung and his friends got louder.

"Things got really hard for me, you know," Mingyu started speaking, his voice soft as he stared at the mesh of trees ahead. You were somewhat surprised at his words, but you didn't interrupt, opting for him to continue.

"Running a million dollar company was never easy but...it suddenly was unbearable. My parents always interfered in my work and how I run the company but I managed through all of that, really...until..." Mingyu heaved a long sigh, abruptly stopping.

"Until?" You tentatively asked, peeking at him.

"They want me to get married. With the daughter of their business partner. A marriage of convenience, really."

Oh.

You fell silent, watching him as the moonlight dimly lit the side of his face. There wasn't enough light to see his face completely, but enough to see the curve of his face, his sharp jawline and the sad, lost look in his eyes. Your heart suddenly ached for him. Silently you patted his shoulder, conjuring up some words to console him.

"That's ...awful, really. I'm sorry."

"I've never been so mad in my whole life. Can't they just leave me alone? They treat me like a puppet, like my only job is to live for them. I'm so done. " He said, his hands forming fists.

There's a beat of silence as you quietly patted his back and watched your friends get wasted by the bonfire before he chuckled softly, "I'm sorry for dumping all these on you. I just couldn't hold them in you know-"

"It's really fine, Mingyu. I don't mind. It would be nice if I could actually help you," you sighed, retracting your hand.

"Trust me, you are," he said and you caught a smile on his face.

"I suppose you don't have a significant other? Someone you could talk to freely?"

He shook his head. "That is why I came here. Needed to get my thoughts together, away from them. Not to mention I don't remember the last time I went on a vacation."

"And have you got your thoughts together?"

"I think so, yeah." He shrugged.

"What are you gonna do?" You asked tilting your head.

"Stand strong in my ground, I guess. There's no way I'm marrying their business partner, I'd rather die. And if all else fails, I'm staying here. I'm sure you have some type of job for me, right?"

You laughed at his words, "Maybe. But I'm not sure about your skills, Mr. Kim."

"Oh I'm a fast learner, Miss ___."

You both grinned at each other.

That night when you went back to your room, your thoughts were plagued by Mingyu and you could swear you saw him in your dreams too.

The next morning is brighter and shinier; the sky relatively clear other than some light clouds. After getting dressed and checking up on Hoshi and Chan who were still sleeping, you trudged through the cabin and towards Mingyu's room, before knocking on it. A fully dressed Mingyu appeared, clad in a white polo and jeans, his hair styled messily. He looked effortlessly attractive, making your heart skipp a few beats.

Damn it, what was wrong with you?

"Hi," you almost missed a breath, your face flushed with warmth.

"Oh, hey. I was about to come to you. I believe you were to show me around." Mingyu grinned, his pointy canines showing.

"And that is what I'm here for, Mr. Kim."

"Great! Let's get going. We'll take my car."

After showing Mingyu around for a couple of hours, you both ended up at the beach by the marketplace, sitting on the sand next to each other. The weather was nice; not too hot, not too cold as a light breeze flew by occasionally. Though you could see some black clouds gathering above, it wasn't to rain until evening if the forecast was correct.

"This place is so pretty," Mingyu mused, making you smile.

"I know right. The weather is great too."

You both watched the waves crash to the shore, occasionally wetting your feet as you both relaxed on the sand. There was a silence, a comfortable one as you finished eating the corndog you bought from the market earlier with some groceries. As you finished the last bite, Mingyu turned to face you and asked, "Tell me about yourself."

"What?" A squeak of surprise escaped from you.

"I shared a lot about myself last night. It's only fair I get to know about you too."

"Well..." You pondered. "There isn't much to tell. I've a pretty dull life, unlike you."

Mingyu chuckled, shaking his head, "Does the cabin belong to your parents? Is it like a family business type of thing?"

"No, not really," you smiled softly. "My parents are dead. The cabin belonged to my grandfather."

"Oh- I'm sorry."

"No it's okay. They passed away in an accident when I was a kid so I don't remember them much." You spoke, watching the sea, "My grandparents raised me. Growing up I've spent a lot of time in the cabin and when my grandfather retired he handed the job to me."

"Are they alive? Your grandparents?" He asked tentatively.

You shook your head, "Grandpa passed away a couple years ago and it's been a few months since grandma did too."

"I'm sorry, you must've been lonely," Mingyu offered, his voice soft.

You shrugged, "Yeah, like I said, nothing interesting going on in my life."

Mingyu hummed noncommittally and there was a few moments of silence before he spoke again, "Was managing the cabin something you have always wanted to do?"

You were quiet for a while as you thought over the question, "No...not really. I've just kept doing the job I was handed to. I haven't really thought about what I want to do."

"Well...I think you should hire a manager in your place and maybe...I don't come to the city and make friends, see what calls for you."

"Yeah, I've thought about it. But I don't know really." You murmured.

"Well, give it some thought. I could help you find a manager. In fact, I could help promote and upgrade your cabin if you'd let me. It'll be a good investment."

You laughed softly, not taking his words too seriously. He was just a guest. He was probably just being nice.

A gust of strong wind flew by, ruining your hair as it poked into your eyes and you laughed when your eyes landed on Mingyu.

"What?"

His hair was sticking in different directions because of the wind and you shook your head with a smile as you reached to pat the hairs back into place. It happened naturally, before you could stop yourself. For a moment your eyes meet as you quickly retract your hand, face heated.

Something was definitely wrong with you.

Mingyu's gaze stayed at you for a while; you could feel his intense eyes on you and you thought maybe he didn't like you touching him. Before your thoughts ran more rampant, he spoke.

"___?"

"Y-yes?"

"Do you...Do you have a home?"

"Home?" You were confused.

"Yes, home. Not like a real house but like a... person. Someone who makes you feel at ease, someone with whom you can be yourself without judgements, someone who keeps you cozy and safe and loved...like a home."

Somewhat taken aback by his words, you fell silent but their depth hit you and you found yourself thinking about it. Do you have a home?

No. No, you don't.

You shook your head, murmuring, "No."

Mingyu nodded taking his eyes off you.

"What about you?" You asked.

"Me neither."

You smiled, "Figures. Because if you had someone you wouldn't have run here but went to them."

Mingyu smiled, a sad smile gracing his lips. It was a somewhat bitter truth, he hadn't found his home no matter how much he looked for it. Maybe that's what he was doing wrong, looking desperately.

"Let's get going. It has started to rain," Your voice dragged him out of his thoughts as he felt small drops of water fall on his face. You reached your hand out to him and he took it, standing up. As you both jogged towards Mingyu's car, your hands remained connected, no one bothering to let go.

That night you had dinner with Mingyu again but this time it was you who did the cooking. After enjoying dinner over small talk, Mingyu like the gentleman he is did the dishes as you poured some wine for the two of you.

Sitting on the small table in common space by the window, you both watched the clear sky that had appeared after the shower. You sipped your wine, watching the vast expanse of stars that blinked in the dark sky.

"I think I've to go back tomorrow," Mingyu suddenly whispered, his tone so low you almost thought you misheard him. A bolt out the blue, you looked at him.

"Tomorrow?"

"Mmhmm," he fiddled with the hem of his cardigan as he stared at the table. "I've got so many calls and messages from work. My company won't run on its on, I can be gone for only so long." He sighed.

You didn't offer any words, too shocked to know that he'd be gone tomorrow. What is this attachment you've developed towards him? Why did the thought of someone, almost a stranger going back to where he came from, where he belonged hurt you so much? You didn't know what to label your feelings but realizing that you'd probably never see him again was tugging at your heartstrings.

Should you ask him for his number and stay connected with him? Is there even a point in that? You both live miles away from each other. Or should just take his advice and follow him to the city? Would that even be a good idea? Are you just reading all this wrong?

You were so invested in your thoughts that you didn't realize Mingyu was calling you until he shook your shoulder.

"You okay, ___?"

"Huh? Yeah...it's just, the news is really sudden. I didn't... expect you'd return so soon." You mumbled.

Mingyu sighed, his shoulder dropping a little bit. "Trust me, if I could I'd stay here forever. But...I can't keep running. I need to face my parents, the sooner the better."

At a loss of what to say, you just nodded. Reaching for your drink you took a big gulp, trying to calm your nerves. It's okay, you can do this. He's just another one of your guests.

You stood up, taking the empty glass in your hand, "Well, I better leave you alone now. I'm sure you've got packing to do."

You almost turned away; until a strong hand gripped your wrist and pulled you back, making you stumble towards Mingyu's body.

"Don't. Stay for a while. I don't want you to leave." His voice was soft yet deep and it immediately broke your resolve as you set the glass down and looked into his eyes.

He didn't let go of your wrist; instead only wrapped his other hand around your waist, pulling you closer, leaving just a few inches between your faces. You didn't tell him to move neither did you make any effort to get away from him- you didn't want to. It felt good, comforting as he held you and looked at you almost like you were his whole world. His eyes had so much emotion swirling in them and you were sure yours looked the same too.

"___?" His voice was breathy and it set your heart aflame.

"Y-yes?"

"Can I...kiss you?"

You inhaled sharply as his hold on you got tighter. You couldn't process a reply, overwhelmed with emotion. So you just nodded and Mingyu leaned in, pressing his lips to yours.

It was soft at first, his lips just resting against yours, as if he was testing the waters. When you didn't resist but only pulled him closer, he started devouring you, his tongue prodding in your wet cavern. Moans espaced from you as you kept pulling at his hair almost grinding on him, desperate for more. He was the same, kissing you with so much passion and vigour like you were the last female standing.

You somehow managed to tug off his cardigan between the kiss and when you pulled apart for air, Mingyu panted, "Can we take this to the bedroom?"

His deep raspy voice spread liquid heat throughout your body and you had to stop yourself from pouncing on him.

"Yes please," you breathed. Mingyu stood up straight, his tall and built body intimidating you in the best ways possible, "Oh baby, you don't have to beg. I'll give you anything you want."

Once again your breath was trapped as he picked you up, his hand under your ass to support you. When he dropped you on his bed and took off his tee you realized you were in for a long night. In the back of your mind, you also realized that this would make it even harder to let him go.

Next morning you were the first one to wake up as the sun barely seeped through the blinds. If you had to guess it wasn't any more than six am. Mingyu's hand rested on your waist as he remained snuggled against your back. It was so comforting that you almost forgot your reality and went back to sleep, until you remembered what had happened last night. Before you could start overthinking and possibly had a breakdown right there, you ever so carefully removed his hand from your body and scrawled out of the bed, grabbing your shirt and quickly throwing it on. Then you tiptoped out of his room despite the ache between your legs and rushed straight towards yours.

Slamming the door shut, your sat down, head in your hands. You've to now prepare for saying goodbye. Right, you just need to act casual and not let him know that you might have developed feelings for him in the past week.

His words came back to you.

"Do you have a home?"

You didn't have one until now but the realization that you may have found it brought tears to your eyes.

You spent the next hours wallowing in your self pity, curled up in your bed too afraid to get out and face Mingyu. Soonyoung dropped by once, knocking at your door and asking if you want breakfast, which you declined. Time slowly ticked away and you watched as the clock struck eleven. You couldn't stay inside forever. You needed to bid Mingyu a goodbye- that is if he hadn't left already. But you were sure he didn't; he wouldn't just leave without any words.

Sighing, you gathered every last bit of your courage and stepped out of your room. Immediately you saw Mingyu coming out from the opposite end of the corridor, the carry-on he brought with him in his hand.

"Hey, where have you been?" He asked, his steps getting quicker to come and stand in front of you.

"Oh- um, I took and shower and then dozed off, sorry," you lied easily, not meeting his eyes.

There was a beat of silence as you both stood in front of each other and when your eyes finally met his, a blush spread across his face like wildfire. The air was heavy with unsaid words and you coughed, trying to get rid of the terrible awkwardness.

"So, you're leaving now?"

What a nice question.

Mingyu seemed to be lost in thoughts as he snapped back to reality and scratched the back of his head, "Oh yeah, right. It'll be a couple hours drive so the earlier I leave the better."

Nodding you motioned your hand towards the exit, "I'll see you out."

Mingyu seemed to have something to say but he pressed his lips in a thin line and started to climb down the stairs, you behind him. Soonyoung, who was standing at the entrance gave you a conspirational wiggle of his brows but said nothing as he watched you follow Mingyu out.

You observed as Mingyu loaded his bag in the trunk, peeking glances at you every other second. When he finished, you spoke, "Well...good luck. I hope you can overcome your problems."

"Thanks. It won't be easy and my dad will probably take away my shares of the company but...I'm done living like this."

You nodded, smiling softly as you crossed your arms against your chest. It suddenly felt cold.

You both gazed at each other, saying nothing even though you've so much to say, as if the silence would carry your unsaid words to him. You were torn- wanting to talk about last night but chickening out knowing it was probably just a fling, a one night stand for him.

"___..." Mingyu spoke but the words died on his tongue. Not trusting yourself to speak, you swallwed the ball of emotions and looked at him with a curious tilt of head.

"...I hope you find what you really want to do. And I hope you find your home too," he said, his words so soft and gentle. For some reason you had a feeling that those were not the words he wanted to say yet you forced a smile and nodded, "You too, Mingyu."

His eyes swirled with so my emotions but you didn't know what he was thinking. He looked pained, just like you but you were too afraid to speak your feelings, scared that you misread him.

When you spoke no more, Mingyu sighed and backstopped slowly, "Well... goodbye, then."

You managed to choke out the words, "Goodbye."

Your emotions overwhelmed you, tears stinging your eyes as you watched him enter his car. Why did it hurt so much? Why did it feel like your heart was being ripped right out of your chest?

His engine roared to life and your stomach sunk. Was this really the right thing to do? Should you just let him go like this?

You made a split second decision that moment, just as his car moved forward a little.

"Mingyu!" You called after him, immediately making him stop the car. He came out, almost in a hurry, an expectant look on his face as you ran towards him. Then you made another split second decision as you wrapped your arms around his tall frame and held tight.

"I like you, Mingyu. I really like you." You mumbled in his chest.

He didn't say anything back but you felt his arms wrapping around you tightly and you stood there in each others embrace for a while. It felt like time has stopped, the warmth and safety of his arms comforting you and making you realize how you would have regretted if you had let him go.

Mingyu pulled back to take a look at your face, his hand cupping your cheeks, his warm but intense eyes on you, shining with love and adoration.

"Say something," you whispered, still unsure.

He chuckled, a light-hearted, carefree sound that made your heart swoon. "I like you too, if it wasn't obvious after last night."

Elated, you pulled his face down and kissed his lips as you felt him grin and wrap his arms around you once again.

"I want to go with you...to the city," you murmured into his chest as he rested his chin on the top of your head.

You couldn't see it but you felt him smirk, "Good. Because I think I found my home."

Your heart couldn't become fuller as you grinned like a happy child.

"Me too."

A/N 2: If you enjoyed reading don't forget to like and reblog and let me know your thoughts!

#seventeen #seventeen fic #seventeen imagines #seventeen scenarios #seventeen fanfic #seventeen smut #seventeen au #seventeen fluff #seventeen angst #svt imagines #svt fluff #svt scenarios #svt fic #svt smut #kim mingyu #seventeen mingyu #svt mingyu #svt fake texts

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melting-tofu · 3 years ago

Note

Um hello there! this is my first time asking for a request so im sorry in advance if I did anything wrong :') may I as for a head cannon whereby kaeya /xiao /diluc /zhongli / childe (just one of them is fine too) 's s/o has a difficult pregnancy and baby arrival? ** is up to you whether it ends fluffy or angst - I'm sorry if it sounds abit weird and isok's if you don't do it :'/ Hope you have a nice day though and can't wait to read more =w=

Oh I- I panicked a lot while writing this- Sorry for making you wait for so long! And for not including Zhongli :(, I don't really get how I should properly put this together tbh I have never written something like this before, so this is not very close to the request, and I can't go into details the baby arrival part ;_;

Note: Female reader.... that's it, unless pregnancy topic could be triggering.

-> Navigation

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Childe:

。He's so excited he can't even decide the one who will be more childish is him or his child.

。Claims that he knows so so so well about taking care of children because he has lots of siblings.

。Will not dispute further if you say a child is different from a sibling.

。Oh he's a harbinger, he has so much work to do :( He puts high hope on his family that they can be there for you and often send letters home.

。If the letters return to him saying you're not well he goes total panicked he doesn't know how to put it to words into the new one he's writing, even when he can, he wonders how long will it take to reach you...

。When he's home, he can spend hours for you and the unborn baby.

。Words can't describe how affectionate he is ;_;

"Oh, oh! Did you feel that? Like something just brushed up my hand? Or someone... is it the little one?"

。Really cries when he arrives just in time to see his child, he's just so happy and sometimes wishes he is not a part of the fatui to have as much time with his new family as he can.

Diluc:

。This man, his usual annoyed face that you sometimes dislike suddenly doesn't exist anymore.

。Like, he always puts on a soft look now.

。It's clear to tell when he's worried, when he panics, all for you <3

。Very protective, all you need to do is rest, he will do the other things and keep his eyes on you, and when he's not present then his maids will.

。Why does he seem so professional when he handles things smh as if he had a wife before, actually it's just because he reads lots of books-

。Seriously just when he gently holds, caresses and kisses are enough to soothe your pain away..

。One of your daily activities will be him humming a soft tune while hugging you from the back, his hands wander around your belly.

"Don't give me that look. Oh? You have never heard me singing before? Then all you need to do is ask... Hmmm now I'm doing this because I think.. the baby will love it."

。When he gets to see his child for the first time, he tries not to break into tears you can tell how happy he is.

Kaeya:

。The chad husbando and father.

。You have no idea how long he had been preparing for this- he already came up with some names for your child... what.

。He isn't strictly protective tho, he allows you to have some 'freedom' but don't let him spot you doing something that involves moving too much.

。He may be more busy than Diluc and he doesn't have maids :( so he possibly asks for countless days off to take care of you, and oh the Acting Grand Master takes pity on him-

。Don't worry of being lonely during your difficult time, he will even give too much affections than needed.

。At night he likes to hold you in bed while musing or childishly ranting about Diluc to the baby who isn't even born yet.

"When you grow up, if you want to become a knight then it's best that you don't become a Cavalry Captain like me... because there aren't any horses in Mondstadt, and you won't be able to spend much time with your mother due to how much work you will have... even without horses."

。For the first time in your entire life you see his soft as ever gaze when his eyes first land on his child, he abandons all the names he ever thought of before (unless you like them) and quickly thinks of a new one.

Xiao:

。Are you being serious to the Vigilant Yaksha that you're pregnant with him??

。So you know Xiao's true form? Yea, your child is really going to be half illuminated beast half human.

。Please- he is so scared of his karma and what it can do to you and the baby :'(

。He doesn't want to keep a distance either... he doesn't want to be unaffectionate and if he's not there to protect you all then who is?

。Overprotective is the right word to describe how he can be, he has to/he must make sure you're safe, tho he isn't sure what to do at first, but he is determined to learn: make sure you have well eaten, you have enough rest, ect. omg why are mortals so complicated.

。As long as you're in his eye sight then all you have to do is nothing, just tell him and he literally does everything, and no he is not letting you do it.

。His favorite things to do include him holding you in bed, it's either you nuzzle up his chest or he does it with your body, he just wants to be this close.

"Once you wake up tomorrow you can look at me as much as you want, now stop staring and close your eyes, sleep, if you don't then the baby is not going to rest either..."

。Xiao is rendered a sobbing mess when the child arrives, he just really loves this family and promises to protect and to keep you all happy.

#genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #diluc x reader #childe x reader #kaeya x reader #xiao x reader #tofu.writes

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toko-writing-imagines · 4 years ago

Text

V3 girls reacting to their s/o giving them a bouquet of flowers

This is more so a random idea that popped up in my head but it's a cute idea so why not write it out

Might do the other female casts from the other games if this one is well received (if not I'll still probably do it cus mm,, cute girls)

SDR2 version | THH version

【Kaede Akamatsu】

• Kaede was backstage after finishing up her amazing piano recital

• Since you were obviously her s/o, you were able to go backstage to see her before she went out or when she finished

• So you had the amazing idea to surprise her with a bouquet of flowers once she finished her recital

• And thats just what you did!

• You bought her a bouquet of her favorite flowers with a cute written notecard that said "Another amazing performance by my amazing Ultimate Pianist!"

• She was so happy when you surprised it to her, you have no idea

• She gave you a lot of kisses and when the two of you got home, cuddles!!

• Now the flowers sit beautifully in a colorful vase on top of the dresser in the bedroom, being taken care of everyday

【Kirumi Tojo】

• You decided to surprise her with flowers since Kirumi is always working so hard

• It's pretty easy to tell that being the Ultimate Maid wasn't easy at all

• It was one of those very rare days where Kirumi was able to take a light break and go over everything to see if she just so happened to forget something (she obviously didn't but an excuse is an excuse)

• You saw it as a perfect opportunity to surprise her with the flowers

• When you did show them to her, telling her that she didn't need to work so hard for everyone else and to just take care of herself once in a while, she smiled

• Success!

• She gives you cute peppered kisses as a thank you

• She waters and takes care of them everyday to make sure they never wilt

• Give her more flowers! She loves them a lot and always loves taking care of them

【Himiko Yumeno】

• She needed flowers for one of her magic shows

• So you got her a bouquet of them!

• A very pleased little mage

• She decided to split them up, using the ones needed for her show, and the rest for her hat

• She somehow gets them to stay on her hat without falling so now her mage hat is cutely decorated with the flowers you got her

• In addition, she puts a spell on them so they never ever wilt and stay in perfect condition

• You were glad the flowers weren't real anyways

【Angie Yonaga】

• Ahah! Her s/o strikes again

• You wanted to surprise her with flowers since Angie somehow hit some sort of creator/art block

• She was painting random things on a canvas when you decided to surpise

• She loved the flowers you got her!

• In reward, she gives you a playful kiss and also does a painting of the flowers

• She needed the inspiration, so she was extra happy that her s/o is her muse

• Will gift you the painting since you gifted her both the inspiration and flowers

• Now the painting is hanged up in the bedroom and the flowers sit in a handmade clay pot in Angie's art lab

【Miu Iruma】

• Honestly you didn't have much of a reason to gift her flowers

• You just wanted to do a cute romantic gesture

• You left the flowers on her desk in her lab, with an added bonus of a small box of chocolates

• When she found it, she freaked

• And I mean it when she freaked

• Miu basically ran over to you with blush across her face and gave you so so so many kisses

• Heck she'll probably end up making you some sort of invention

• She slightly sees this as a competition now

• Will probably brag about her golden brain and how she can always top your gifts with her inventions

• You don't take it personally and let her have her fun in this now made up competition to see who can give the best gift

【Maki Harukawa】

• You'll be lucky if you really even get a reaction from her

• Or at least get to see it upfront

• You know Maki is not exactly one for receiving gifts, so giving her a bouquet of flowers was definitely a surprise

• Her reaction to receiving the flowers can go one of two ways:

• One way would be is that she doesn't exactly give you a reaction, thanking you in her slightly monotonous tone, and taking the flowers away

• She'll be blushing though once she starts walking away with the flowers

• The other way would be that she'll already be blushing by the sudden gesture

• All you can hear is a soft stuttered "Thank you" while you look at your now blushing girlfriend

• Will probably gift you something in return either way despite which reaction you do get so don't worry too much ^^

【Tenko Chabashira】

• A huge sucker for gifts!

• She's always showering you with some kind of affection, so why not do the same to her in return?

• And gifting her flowers was a great choice!

• She was a blushing mess when you held them out to her, giving her all kinds of compliments along with it

• Tenko was so happy she felt her energized than before!

• She gave you so many kisses, and with her being a huge cuddlebug, expect tons of cuddle after her training sessions

• She even puts some of the flowers in her hair!! It's like you are always with her now and she looks even more fabulous than before

• No one gets to touch them! Touch the flowers and you'll be down on the floor in pain in a second

• They are special flowers to her, so no one but you and her get to touch the flowers

【Tsumugi Shirogane】

• A lot of fake flowers

• You often gift Tsumugi fake flowers because she'll usually need them for her cosplays

• But that doesn't mean she doesn't appreciate the gesture!

• In return you'll usually get kisses and get to try on her finished cosplay outfit with the flowers if you want too

• Sometimes she'll steal a few and wear them! Most likely just in her hair or incorporate it on her regular outfit

• But when you surprise her with a bouquet of real flowers, it takes her a minute to collect herself

• She turns into a slightly blushing mess and would try her best to take care of them

• The flowers sit in her lab so she can look at them whenever she's working on her cosplays

• But you'll probably get a bigger bouquet of flowers in return from her since its only fair

• And that's what people do in the animes right?

❀•°•═══ஓ๑♡๑ஓ═══•°•❀

Yayay I got something done! I wonder how many people will bother reading this since this post is longgg-

Also we are slowly on our way to 100 followers! I'm so happy people like my blog enough to follow it ^^

Please send in requests if you have any! If you want to message it to me instead than please do that, but let me know if you want to stay anon or not!

also totally unrelated but what does it mean to kin someone cus i wanna do kin list for danganronpa but the whole kinning thing confuses me-

~ Mod Toko 💜

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rpbetter · 3 years ago

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There's a very popular masterlist blog, who was at first quietly ignoring all the genderbend blogs who reblogged their posts, and later said outright that they won't add any genderbends, because apparently genderbends are "transphobic" somehow. It pisses me off, because who made this asshole in charge the RPC? Who gave them the right to decide who does or doesn't "belong" in the community? I'd respect them more if they were at least consistent, but they're fine with listing whitewashed muses.

I'm not sure if this is the same person, or if someone was inspired to vent about another masterlist blog. Either way, that's fine! I'm just not sure whether to thank you for giving more information or not!

That's definitely upsetting, I agree. If you're going to decide one thing is offensive to a whole group of people you may or may not be a part of, you really should be consistent, yes. Whitewashing muses isn't something that has a large debate around it. Most everyone can agree that this is incredibly wrong, the only time I have ever seen an argument about it was in regards to how that whitewashing was being done and whether the canon itself had done the same thing. If it had, did that make the RPers and other fans going along with it alright, still wrong, less wrong, or more wrong.

Like the simplest of things, "it is never alright to whitewash" does have discourse, yes. That isn't the only example, it isn't even the only one stemming from fandom issues. If you spend five minutes in the Harry Potter fandom, you will land on some of that, for instance, centering around whether it was or was not author intent to make some main characters definite ethnicities, whether it was fandom entirely, or whether the author picked that up from fandom in the course of being wildly problematic herself, pulling one of those "I meant that all along" things for points. If it exists, no matter how clear the center message is, it has a difference of opinion somewhere as you get farther from that core message.

The issue I have here is that not everyone in the trans community agrees that genderbending characters is transphobic, that is the center of the issue. I think talking over those who do not feel it is transphobic, but rather, regardless of whether they want to see it or not, recognize that it is an important step some people take on understanding their own gender perceptions, is still talking over trans people. Because it literally is.

People do use genderbending for understanding and exploration. They also use it for reasons as simple as the sort of characters that are popular - they tend to be male, it's a common complaint. Perhaps you are only comfortable writing female muses, but love this male canon, so you genderbend. It's also differently transforming a character than making them trans. Making a character a different, cis gender means that you are very likely changing a great deal about their canon experiences if you are writing them realistically at all. Like our world, the worlds we create tend to be gendered to some degree. It is also possible that someone wants to remove that from the canon world and have their muse still experiencing things in the same way. And, yes, some people do use this for reasons that others do not like, it can be used in some ways I don't like. I'm not a big fan of it, honestly, but I'm a huge fan of letting people explore fiction in whatever way they choose regardless of whether I, personally, enjoy it.

Everyone has their reasons and their reasons are equally valid, that cannot be said for something like whitewashing. At all.

Many identities fit under the trans umbrella, and unlike racism, one's perspective on exploring their own gender is going to be as varied as there are people doing that exploring. You cannot exclude a group of those people by telling them, trans people, that they are transphobic. It's alright if you feel that way, or if it bothers you for any other reason, but it's problematic in itself to insist that everyone else feels that way.

Are they also going to spend the time to police gendered comments that elicit dysphoria? What about the commentary that has terf ideology laced through it? Are they going to go through every blog weekly to be certain no one is putting out the idea that All Men but not uwu transmascs? I could keep going, there is an endless list of problems when it comes just to our choices in dialogue, and because we live in a gendered world we're trying to work on, as well as online where we come into contact with clever marketing for bad shit, literally everyone here has said or done something.

Things that were common until recently are now extremely gross. Change is great, change is what is needed, but change doesn't happen smoothly and doesn't keep going smoothly if we're all pointing fingers at who used the wrong term, enjoyed the wrong fictional tropes, had the wrong ideas - even about themselves.

Not to mention that it's irrational to expect everyone to agree on something so potentially charged when there are so many of us. Again, using the difference in whitewashing, if you think whitewashing a muse by erasing their canon experiences or appearance is alright, you have a problem. If you think genderbending is okay because fourteen-year-old you unintentionally was using it as an outlet to explore the trans adult you became, you are not a problem, your experience is valid, you should not be spoken over. Racism has hard lines that this simply does not. Yes, transphobia does have hard lines, but those lines tend to look like bathroom bills, terfs, and otherwise obvious things. If it is part of someone's life experience that they were racist to some degree, but grew from that point, that's great...but none of them will say that it's alright to be racist, it might help someone become anti-racist if they're racist first, so, everyone go out and pick at least one race to vehemently and irrationally despise. Said no one, ever.

I still don't think I'm making the difference clear, but at the risk of being too repetitive, I'm going to hope I'm wrong. There is a difference here between whitewashing and genderbent characters, much of that difference is had in the trans community itself, of which no members need be silenced.

So, yes, I do find it incredibly gross that they're alright with racism but not with someone potentially exploring gender. It feels performative, at best. It feels like someone has been listening to only one side of the discussion, has caved to pressure, and is now doing something potentially transphobic themselves, at worst.

Again, like anything, there is the potential for misuse and upsetting things to happen when genderbending. However, I'd rather see a dozen people making a cis male character into a cis female character purely to write in graphic sexual assault that fetishizes, etc. etc. etc., than I would see a single instance of someone making that character trans and then proceeding to fetishize them. That is what I've seen come out of this debate, and it bothers me.

While, yes, I will defend people's right to do things that bother me in fiction, it is upsetting that the takeaway seems to have been giving permission for muns to call writing a trans character "representation" while they're only in it to write a soft boi transmasc getting railed constantly. It's even more upsetting when many of those bits of "representation" are also at least hedging on racism and complimentary of toxic masculinity. Transmasc characters are usually those who don't fit the Western ideal of physical masculinity, while transfem characters are often those who do. It's alright to make a canon cis female who is black and has non-white, feminine ideal features and build transfem and go on and on about how hot it is, she's your strong wifey. It's alright to do the opposite with a canon cis male, very often of an Asian or Latino ethnicity, they were already ascribing upsetting things about his sexual preferences and personality based on how non-Western-masc he was. Except, no, none of that is alright! It hits multiple points of not being alright.

I'd really rather we were not encouraging that by making muns feel forced to explore gender in only one way. Unless someone is openly transphobic, no one wants to be accused of that. By forcing this issue through fear, all that happens is people feeling good about themselves for doing differently terrible things, or people not writing those characters at all. Not everyone is comfortable writing a trans character, and that's perfectly alright. If someone does not feel like they can do so in a respectful, knowledgeable, and normally nuanced way, they shouldn't. They should go ahead and write the character cisgender.

It, unfortunately, doesn't come up because we have so few canon trans characters, but it should go without saying that one should never erase them being canonically trans in order to write them comfortably as cis. (Just as one should not erase a marginalized canon sexuality or a character's race.) I only mean wanting to play around with a character's canon, cis, gender.

Whole point here is - the opinion of genderbending varies widely among the trans community. An act of boldface racism does not. If you're omitting genderbent characters because they make you feel uncomfortable, you're not impartial enough, you're risking omitting and shaming the very people you're "protecting." While still allowing whitewashing to go on. I definitely see why this has bothered you, Anon! This really should either be entirely impartial as to what someone is choosing to write, or personal bias admitted and warned of.

#answered #anonymous #genderbent muses #whitewashing muses #rpc masterlists #transphobia cw #racism cw

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fairymint-archive · 3 years ago

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🔥

I'm not sure if this one is gonna unpopular to my followers/mutuals per sé, I'm probably preaching to the choir here, but.

Sometimes, especially in the General bubble of the internet/IRL think, I feel like I'm the only person uncomfortable with both aphobia and slutshaming. Or rather, have experienced both in my life.

Letting people do what they want, without it being pushed on others just does not sound hard. And yet you have people who choose to push those boundaries anyways.

From thirsty people not checking rules or artists not tagging shit (I've seen people in the past send sexual/suggestive anons to a blog that allows such stuff ....about a muse who does not. Like could you not have glanced at a rules page here and there?) To people recently sending anons criticizing a muse's sexual activity, both male and female, saying that 'they're only good for smut' or even questioning their orientation. Neither of that shit is good. Not to mention countless instances I'm sure people have had of others dipping out on their muses for either reason, because they don't seem shippable or because they're thirsty. People have a right to leave, but y'know what I'm saying.

While I can mildly understand the frustration, here's the deal; Suggestive/Smut and even Romance, simply make for good 'filler' activities. They're fun to fall back on when A.] Nobody wants to plot Action. Seriously, outside of the pokemon fandom, a lot of people aren't well practiced and confident in fight threads, while Adventuring requires either plot or improv. It's a skill. B.] It's a good psychology fix. Interpersonal relationships between muses of all kinds are good for that, and sometimes romantic/sexual shipping can run rampant for muses of similar age who 'get along' that way. Doesn't mean you should ignore platonic interactions but. C.] It's addictive, whether IC or OOC. Sex/sensual activity specifically is one of the more 'harmless' or at least psychological addictions. Besides accidental pregnancy and STDs (lol like people write those either), sex is healthy, so it's a bit safer to plot than say, your muse binge drinking or smoking just because they're bored. It's a lot more possible imo, to have a one night stand and it not affect anybody, than say substance abuse which people will notice and even dislike. It's kind of middling as well, whereas someone who has sex isn't necessarily a bad person unless it affects their life and commitments, where someone murders and...it's a call to action cause it's decidedly a bad moral choice, it affects people.

But, y'know, if somebody is fixated on any one type of plot....either they really like it, or it's what's available to them whether immediately (audience) or emotionally (they're not psyched up for it.)

this probably requires its own Ask as a concept, but don't bitch if you can't invest, yourself.

This is not even to say getting into it as a Fandom or General concept, which is even bigger than the RP shit i mentioned here-

#ask.#munday.#UnPopOpi #suggestive #sex talk;#long post.#murder;#aphobia;#slutshaming;

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theopengrimoire · 4 years ago

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I would like a matchup please! A male one please of any age and thank you! I'm a twenty year old female. I'm 5'8, rather curvy, and I have really long dreadlocks. I love drawing, and writing, but I do prefer to write horror stories. I'm known for being a really nerdy and geeky girl. As well as an introvert that prefers to stay inside all the time. Who also values creativity a lot. Besides that the only other thing about me is that I hate bugs. I freak out when they touch me. (/>_

Greeting Anon! Thank you for waiting so patiently for your match up. To help you with your creativity I pair you with: Rill Boismortier!

Magic: Imagination Magic

Speak the word and it shall come true. Your magic allows you to see things almost like a story or play right before your eyes. You can change small elements around you to elicited change. They tend to be towards the darker side. For example making trees move and grab a person as they run through the dark forest, or having bloody Mary show up in someone’s bathroom mirror. You don’t use it often but know that keeping your enemy in constant suspense wears them out and makes it easier to take them out.

Squad: Purple Orcas

At first you were selected for the Purple Orcas. Gueldre thought he could use you to scare his financial enemies into ruin. But you refused his orders as it wasn’t necessary for the protection of the kingdom. So Gueldre did what he could to get rid of you, but the fact that you never failed a mission meant he couldn’t just throw you out. Instead he made a “formal complaint” to Julius about not being knight material. Julius didn’t take this one bit and looked into the situation secretly. When he saw you drawing by yourself one day, he knew it wasn’t you that was the problem but the squad you were in. Soon you were transferred to the Aqua Deer where you met Rill.

Headcannons

Rill was so excited to meet someone who could understand his passion for art! You’re everything he wants, you’re his muse!

Rill likes to read your writings and then try to paint them on canvas, but because some of them are horror scenes, the Aqua Deer headquarters has a wide variety of darker themes which juxtapose Rill’s bubbly personality. Yami finds it hilarious when he visits the base.

Rill doesn’t mind spending days indoors with you working on the next masterpiece. However, Walter does drag both of you out of your room to do work and get fresh air (ie get more art supplies. Walter could easily do it but claims he doesn’t know the right quality of paint or what pencils you prefer).

There is one major down side to dating Rill though, and you found out at the worse possible moment. Rill is....terrified of bugs. He’s so used to a clean house thanks to Walter that he’s never had to deal with the creepy crawlies. So there you are standing on a chair screaming at the bug on the floor and there’s Rill, on top of your shoulders crying too. It was not a pleasant sight. Walter had to dispose of the bug while Fragil coaxed you both down from the chair. The squad made sure to spray for bugs then on.

#Black Clover #black clover matchups #blackclover #rill boismortier

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thedogsled · 5 years ago

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You seem to be having a not a great day today, so here's a light-hearted ask. I'm having a good day, curled up in pjs with cuddly pets watching Leverage with my sister. Leverage is one of my favorite shows, because it's smart and fun and has great characters that grow over the seasons. Besides Supernatural, what's a show you really enjoy and why?

Thank you so much for the ask! I’m sorry I didn’t reply to it sooner, I’ve come down with a head cold and this is really the first day in several I’ve been able to compose more than a tweet about how much it sucks (swallowing = a knife jammed right into my inner ear, it’s super fun). But I did want to answer your question so I’ve been musing on it since your ask came in.

If it was just “what’s your favorite show right now” it’d be an easy answer: The Boys. The Boys, back to front, front to back, upside down and inside out. The first season was fantastic, and it felt like it woke me up to being excited about TV again after my interest in The Walking Dead waned mid-season. Everything new has seemed very plastic recently, and even The Mandalorian, which is super cool, is kind of like the Cartoon Network dub of Dragonball Z, so Disneyfied in its bloodlessness that although I’m enjoying it it feels even more synthetic as a result. The Boys was the opposite of that, and also just whoever invented Karl Urban, period, just deserves a nobel prize for that masterpiece. He pronounces twat wrong (okay okay it’s a dialect thing) but you can’t have everything =D

So instead (and because it’s cheating that I can pimp The Boys and wax lyrical about loves of old) I interpret your question as sort of like “Which show is your comfort food?” Which show do I go back to when I’m feeling like TV needs to give me a cuddle. I had a good think about it, because there’s a few…

(aside: I shouldn’t have put that gif in before I started writing. ahem.)

There’s been a few over the years, for sure. As a thirteen year old I used to watch and rewatch Buffy episodes, mostly season 2 (baby Spike!). At eighteen, it was old VHS of Deep Space Nine, my favorite ep was “Wrongs Darker Than Death or Night” which I watched repeatedly and think about constantly even today.

But the show I keep coming back to is due South.

This post is a long post, it also deals with discourse (because my relationship to entertainment is so often mired in it, so please don’t proceed if you’re rather avoid it) and this is where it begins:

Okay, so fun fact: I watched due South the first time it aired with my parents (I was about 9) and then when it was on TV again as a repeat, I recorded it on VHS by RUSHING home every single day from school with nothing else on my mind but sitting on the floor two feet from the telly to watch it. Quantum Leap was on right after, and I had an entire different set of VHS tapes to record that on, so had to quickly switch between them. I’d stop recording at every break so that I could get more episodes on a tape. It’s not unsurprising to me now that both shows vibed with me as a young person who hadn’t yet really accepted that she was queer; due South’s main character is coded as Other both to the Americans whom he lives with, and his fellow Canadians, while Quantum Leap explores a straight white man jumping into the lives of Others, and living through them some of the hardest moments in their lives. Even though both keep it exceedingly, textually hetero, one has two men riding off into the snowy sunset together (leaving behind a straight lover to do so) and the other features a love between two men that in the original framing of the finale would have seen God/fate reconnecting the two of them even though one was lost in time, and the partner’s wife begging him to go.)

Of course young me didn’t give a shit about that, or didn’t realize that’s what she cared about. Young me loved the buddy-cop partnership of both shows. Young me liked the half-wolf, and the episodes where they ride horses, and honestly just waiting with bated breath to find out where Sam would jump to this time. “Oh boy!” Retrospectively, these shows (especially QL) are a lot more oh boy in a yikes context now than they used to be, but it’s good that shows age into yikes territory because it means that society is steadily advancing. Particularly, pointing out that these shows both feature white straight guys like…welcome to the nineties.

I was introduced to queer coding in part by watching due South. The show is laden with it. With writers, actors, and ultimately an executive producer who was all three, it makes you wonder if they would have gone there if they could; certainly the ending reads that way. They couldn’t, of course, because it was the nineties (and it was CBS that revived it after enormous international fan demand). Still, there was just nothing else analogous to what we have now that was going there on TV at the time. If you were queer (or discovering your queerness) then watching the show meant everything, as it did to me. So I snuggle up on the couch often these days and go back to that, because it gave me such joy, and because I was left with the opportunity to decide for myself how deep the relationship was. There was no promise of anything, because the context at the time was of course you can’t go there, nobody can go there. Queerbaiting was a word that simply hadn’t been breathed. There was no intent, no companies behind the curtain pulling strings going “Yes, make it more gay, we want those queer dollars”, just invested people slipping what they could past the studio censors.

Like this:

Sigh. A less enlightened time. =P (Incidentally fun meta here but this was after a conversation where Ray suggested that communication in a relationship should be intuitive, like breathing.)

So I guess in part I escape back there because none of that representation was ever as loaded as it is today. It doesn’t require me to judge it, or weigh it against the harm it does - because the politics of the time meant I thought it was doing good (retrospectively, and only through the lens of someone who had nothing to lose). It seemed to scream out into an unyielding universe to force it to move. It did a fraction of that, because of course it did. It was the nineties. It stole indigenous narratives and romanticized colonialism just as much as it beat the drum of environmentalism and kicked at the doors of corporate greed and racism. Old shows are inherently problematic. Today’s shows are too. Being able to examine them doesn’t mean not loving them, but it lets you say “Okay, so what do I expect from the things I watch today? What do I expect from the things I watch in five years time?”

All that aside, the show is just damn good. It’s watchable and rewatchable. It struggles to age because it was already so out of pace with the age it was made in–despite its flaws in representation, it was better than other shows at the time that demonized, tokenized, or outright killed minorities to push white narratives on their own shows (Kendra being murdered on Buffy, for example). It’s standalone enough that you can go back and watch any episode you like because overarching story arcs were way less of a staple as they are today. It’s witty, fast paced, full of action and moral dilemma, do gooding and the consequences of it. Although still severely unbalanced, and very, very white, it did still have indigenous actors playing indigenous characters, and minorities portrayed in stories about them. There’s a dog. There’s classic cars. And it’s all put to the soundtrack of Canadian bands and singers.

tl;dr ahead for rambling about subtext and being a disaster queer, but please scroll past for more gifs.

Queer me needed this show, in a world where I’d been taught to look and see myself in straight white male protagonists, it felt like A Lot to see all this on screen. It wasn’t, but it was all I got when I was growing up. I envy the good fortune of kids who can see themselves on screen these days while they try and figure themselves out (and hopefully more so in the future) with far less of having to negotiate through the confusion of looking at it through confusing fractals of different lenses and instead just see someone who looks like them showing them that their POV is normal, heroic and wonderful. Those lenses fucked me up big time. Like I’m not even sure right now what flavor of queer I am. I cling to bi like a lifeline of sense in my life, but it is complicated because I overwhelmingly desire the company of women way way more. But also I was was taught to look through the lens of a white dude in order to see myself universally, taught to be both desirous of the female body and humiliated by it, ashamed by sex, taught men were awful, and taught that I was supposed to marry one anyway. I look at my sexuality/romanticism like it’s a meta puzzle that I haven’t figured out yet, wondering how to put it on paper, how to break apart the different influences I experienced as a youngling and as an adult to try and negotiate if I’m misreading my own impulses. How I was brought up, who I’ve known, the relationships I’ve experienced and seen in real life and on TV. I’m 34 and I’m still no more certain. Subtext is both my friend and my enemy. I hate it, and I owe everything to it.

So when I need a rest from giving a shit about any of that noise, I go back to my comfort food. I go right back to subtext, which gave me the tools I needed to desire romance that wasn’t heterosexual, that somehow was more intimate because it relied on longing stares and never stepping foot out of the closet, that was just someone liking another person without any expectation of sex just because they have opposing genitals, and their colleagues hassle them a lot. There’s nothing wrong with the sex, I write a lot of consommation of the feelings that I see bubbling under the surface. I have even grown to appreciate het romance when it’s done in a way that doesn’t reduce the woman to a love interest–I was thrilled when Simon Baker’s Patrick Jane got together with Teresa Lisbon in The Mentalist. Their relationship was filled with subtext too. Subtext isn’t a queer thing, it has a role in all well written romance. Hell, it has a role in terriblebad tropey misogynistic romance, too. And just you know basically all storytelling (and more).

Queer romance existing only in the subtext, though? It’s heartbreaking explicitly because it feels like a story that isn’t finished, and that’s where subtext reliant shows can hand off the story to be finished by fandom itself. In due South, as I mentioned before, Ray and Fraser jump into a dogsled and ride off over the snowy horizon to “Find the hand of Franklin, reaching for the Beaufort sea”. It’s where I chose my meta name, as I’ve mentioned before, because that ending - that ending - handed us all the subtext so far and said “Here, take it, it’s yours now. Do with it what you like”–and we did. But that was twenty years ago. I loved that ending (I still think it was a very elegant solution) and it was expected and appropriate for a show that in itself is a “Faves Are Problematic” show, but that’s also why I get so passionate about discussing the subtext in Supernatural.

It’s younger than due South. While it may have begun back when Willow from Buffy had her first girlfriend, it is ending now, not at the turn of the century where a dogsled was still good enough to get the point across and none of us had Twitter. My own experiences, my lifelong queer confusion make it so I feel pretty damn bad for people trying to use Supernatural as a medium for their own self-exploration, using characters from SPN as their lenses. A show these days that makes bank on those tropes and doesn’t inform its audience (positively or negatively) is doing so irresponsibly because of the modern context in which the show presently (not historically) sits, and the increasing awareness of the issues surrounding it. Networks, then, are ultimately responsible for that, but they are in a way which is entirely different and far more directly culpable than they were 20 years ago, because people are out there making money out of those intentional subtextual devices. They chose to do it; took a deep breath and backed right up away from Gamble’s problematic queerbashing tropes, chewed it over, then hired gay writers and dived right back in with more grown up, progressive, and less shitty subtext–but still subtext.

This show that ended 20 years ago was able to cross way more lines with subtext in one episode than Supernatural has done sometimes in an entire season. It did so despite and because of it’s international audience, on a conservative network that would late purchase Paramount, and Star Trek, and ended with a powerfully subtextual ending. Supernatural, of course, is under a far more powerful microscope from the bigots than those oblivious to subtext back in the 90s could have ever produced. due South, like SPN was just “wholesome family entertainment” to a conservative audience that was completely oblivious by all accounts, yet was laden heavily with queer innuendo. It was also blissfully short, and existed in a social media world which consisted of Yahoo groups and not much else.

In modern context, Supernatural gets a fox in the henhouse treatment from that same audience, and acts accordingly (when it’s not using that same subtext to deliver earnest Fuck You’s to that audience). While I expect Supernatural to bravely - even considering this scrutiny - deliver a dogsled subtextual ending on a good day, there are bad days, too, because the queer subtext has been underlined so loudly that everyone can see it, because it’s “practically text”, because the bottom line is increasingly more concerned with satisfying those bigots (even while they mock them), and because queer fans are “too loud” about what they want. How dare they. /s The pushback caused by being loud about things you care about, the bigots actually seeing subtext in front of their noses, isn’t bad because now they know what we’ve been doing all along, and we won’t be able to get away with it any more; it means they’re becoming more aware of narratives other than their own. Yes, some people will push back, but “when you’re accustomed to privilege, equality feels like oppression”, and they can shove it right up their asses.

All I ever ask of myself when I interrogate my present day viewing experience, is this: when I sat as a youngster watching due South thinking “This subtextual ending is enough for me”, did I truly believe it was okay to be watching a show about two white guys with a subtextual ending 20 years later? Was that the future I dreamed of and aspired to? Would I be disappointed? The answer is yes, I am disappointed. No matter the whys, the fundamental and societal reasons–I am disappointed. I still love the show probably more than I should, but I am disappointed in the society it sits in - which is increasingly capitulating to far more powerful global financial powers than a couple of red state homophobes - and I’m disappointed in the way we’re treating each other for even caring, and I’m disappointed in myself, too, for being naive and imagining we would be much further down this road now than we are. But we are a capitalistic society, and being both the commodity and the customer should be a surprise to literally nobody at this point. It doesn’t mean you have to like it.

And if you don’t feel that way, that’s okay. We all come from different places. We have different perspectives. We need and want different things, for different reasons, and find joy in different things for different reasons. Variety of opinion is as much a wonderful thing as it is completely terrifying.

I’ve wandered somewhat off topic, so I’m going to go back to the show I love, my chocolate pudding and custard comfort food TV show, and the long stares and the beautiful uncomplicated subtext.

And sign off with half a dozen gifs.

Eye fucking:

Conversations in closets and bathrooms:

Going down with the ship

Intuitively understanding each other without a word spoken

His hobbies humiliate me in public

“Do you find me attractive?”

Sulking in the corridor while you reunite with your ex

This whole ep with original Ray:

And his wolf approving of both

Not pictured “I love you” “And I you”, “Get out of the closet”, actual hand holding when it’s unnecessary, formally handcuffing your buddy, getting stuck in an ice crevasse and a mini submarine together–and so so much more. I invite you to watch the show if you can find it (I have it on a really nice set of DVDs, but there’s some dodgy ones out there that look like they recorded the DVD straight off a VHS, so do check reviews) or else try and find it online. There was a Canada promoting YouTube channel which published both due South and shows like Slings and Arrows, which I recommend as well (It’s not actually bury your gays if the ghost of your gay best friend haunts you, right?) so you should be able to poke around and find a legit copy somewhere. I’ve bigged it up and talked it down, and wandered a long way off topic (that describes my relationship with every show, but especially when I recommend them) but I hope somewhere along the line I also answered the question. The way I hear it Leverage is a similar sort of comfort food, though I haven’t seen it. Sounds like I should put it on my To Watch list.

#due south #dogsled replies #queerbaiting #subtext #destiel #about me

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