#i'm sure i've gushed about like. all this shit before

[ilkkawhat]

I can't believe it's almost been a year since AW2 was released. It really changed my life. For better or for worse? Who can say, but I've been having fun.

lol it's so surreal to me that it's been less than a year that I bought and played Alan Wake 2 (one month past release, in November) purely on a whim because I saw people on the silent hill subreddit talking about it and someone even made a meme about "friendship ended with silent hill now alan wake is my new best friend" and I kid you not within just a few days my life just...changed entirely.

I have a lot of depression and anxiety and somewhere in 2023 things just...went wrong and I stopped creating. stopped giffing, never thought I'd write again and drawing lmao forget it, that shit's been hard for me to do ever since a very discouraging experience back when I was maybe like, 11 or 12. stopped going on tumblr, had given up on discord a long time before then and became a miserable ghost doing nothing but burying myself in work in what i will admit is a toxic, overwhelming and stressful environment. I still played games, still watched shows but nothing was like. Sticking with me, I guess? Not like to obsession levels and minus some good vacations I was just...empty.

And playing Alan Wake 2 for the first time was a legit terrifying experience for me--not on the levels of the first time I played Silent Hill 2 maybe (legit locked myself in my room and put on my lamp in the middle of the day cause of the sound of footsteps behind me in that game lol and my dishwasher at the time sounded like that one chugging sound in the apartments) but the dread I was feeling as I got legitimately lost in the woods of Cauldron Lake and turned around in Coffee World (having basically explored it all before triggering the parts where the enemies spawn in) and the basement of Valhalla Nursing Home was thrilling and I was excited to be playing something that was so disturbing and mind bending and emotional, too. Not even knowing the story of Alan and Alice, my heart broke during Alice's final tape. Not knowing Alan's character outside of what I saw in the second game, his "fuck it" moment where he went back into the Dark Place felt so heroic. I felt an odd sense of nostalgia watching the Koskela brothers commercials, like I had known them my whole life. Alex Casey (both the FBI agent and fictional detective) is my favorite kind of wise-cracking guy who has a heart of gold, the old guy who I wish could be my dad. Tom Zane was that mysterious wild card that you know under the surface has something sinister, unsettling esp with his manipulation of Alan but is just so fascinating to watch. Of course I saw so much of my obsessive self in Rose with her shrine for Alan. Saga's time in the dark place felt so real to me, I cried and still cry every time I read that note from her mom at that part of the game (I know you can read it sooner but it packs a bigger punch with Saga's fight to get out of her own mind.) All of the characters quickly stole my heart and ran with it and maybe it was over a few days, maybe it was all at once the floodgates just...opened within me.

I started writing again. First with a character that I never thought I'd write for again because at the time, even just thinking about him legit hurt me. Then I started scheming up fics for Alan. Then I started giffing even from self-captured gameplay footage that I don't think I've ever done before. Then I started drawing in my Alan Wake journal--a journal which, I had not done since the peak of my CSI obsession during my teenage years and even then it wasn't to the extent of what that journal is now (which admittedly, has not been filled out in quite a number of weeks and maybe that's partially cause I tend to journalize myself on here too) And then one day I couldn't contain it anymore. I started sharing again. I don't talk to anybody really like, ever outside of these asks and occasional replies but I truly never thought I'd be part of a fandom again. I worried I'd fuck it all up again (still worry about that) for myself, or others. Or both. But all the kind messages, the kind tags, the awesome people I've started following because of Alan Wake, I wouldn't give any of that up.

And of course things branched off, crushing so hard on him I got obsessed with Ilkka. I played some of Remedy's other games (still working my way through Max Payne 2 and Quantum Break very very slowly) and went back to the first Alan Wake, of course which if I had known about earlier or had an Xbox I'm sure I would have loved it back then as much as I do now. Hell I even platinumed that and Alan Wake 2 and as someone who is notorious for not finishing games other than like. The Legend of Zelda series and playing some other endless games...think it says something that I've managed to beat and complete (I always do the rhymes, stashes, lunch boxes, every playthrough) Alan Wake 2 almost 10 times now.

I was happy. I'm still, for the most part when I'm not at work, happy. Call it what you want, a delusion brought on by a distraction of obsession, a dangerous escape threatening the part of me that is still rooted in reality in the way that like, what if I become too crazy about it where it blinds me to certain things or experiences or chases people away from me because I'm too weird about it (a very real thing that has happened before)

But damn with all of that...I'm having fun with it too.

[arthenaa]

blurred lines — mizu x f!reader

synopsis: your relationship with your roommate often threads the lines between friends and of something more.

content: fluff, suggestive themes, modern! au, roommate!mizu one jumping off a cliff joke mentioned, taigen, ringo, and akemi being great friends, mizu uses she/her pronouns, she/her pronouns for reader as well, mizu and you call each other bon/bonnie as an endearment, mizu is ur bf but not rlly your bf yk, mutual pining

song will be later mentioned in the story but listen to it while you're reading <3

It isn't to anyone's surprise that more often than not, people mistake you and Mizu as a couple. It's gotten bad to the point that it's already counted as an inside joke in your little group of five.

Taigen was the main culprit of the joke (as usual). He often lets his tongue run loose in the most random of situations. Whatever piques his interest, he always has something to say about it. You're not sure if it's because of Taigen's natural person magnet trait but surely, you think this is somehow his fault.

"I just want to say how adorable of a couple you two are!" A person from your year—someone you had met in passing during your Ethics class for sure—gushed as she sat down on the empty seat in front of you. You stare at her, mouth slightly agape in shock at the sudden intrusion, Akemi chortles from her seat while Mizu's starting to look like she's about to commit homicide. It was currently your free period, hoping for a time to relax and wait for your next class, you sure weren't expecting to be bombarded by a series of questions about your love life. You're hoping that both of your unwelcomed stares would drive this person away, but the gal continues off on a tangent. "Not to be like—a real gossipy person, but like, I heard from Sanchez that you guys were dating, and I had my suspicions back then during Ethics class but I just HAD to confirm it, y'know?"

You lock eyes with Akemi seated beside the girl as she hides her grin behind her drink. You're so going to wipe that smile off her face soon.

"I'm pretty sure that's none of your business," Mizu deadpans as she stares at her under her tinted glasses. She taps her index finger on the surface of the table, a telltale sign of her impatience. The girl remains oblivious.

"Oh, come on! We were groupmates last semester! I'm pretty sure we're already close enough to know stuff like this," She sends the both of you a wink to which you wince as Mizu stiffens beside you. You're sure it was taking a real toll on her to prevent her from committing a felony and so you've decided to step up.

"I-I'm sorry," You give her a sheepish smile, hand raised to provide a calm reassurance of not being hostile. "I'm sure you mean well and everything but we're really tired. Whatever you're thinking, it's a no."

You give her your best award-winning smile with the hopes that she'll leave you both alone. You see her slightly pull back, finally reading the room but she pauses at the last second as Mizu wraps an arm around your waist. You're not sure why the girl gives you a cheeky grin as she adjusts her bag on her shoulder but your resolve is soon starting to waver if she doesn't get her ass off your table.

"Alright, whatever you say," She coos, eyes squinting playfully as she gathers herself off your booth. "I'll leave you two lovebirds alone. See you around!"

The three of you watch as she makes her way out of the shop before your shoulders release the tension you've both been holding over the past few minutes. Akemi chuckles at your expressions

"Oh my god, If you hadn't done that I would've gone off the rails," Mizu groans as she rests her head on the table.

"You should've, to be honest, might make this whole debacle a lot more interesting than whatever you have with Y/N," Akemi snickers from her seat as Mizu sends her a glare. "Funniest thing I've seen all semester. Keep it up."

"You're full of shit," Mizu grumbles from her seat. Akemi flashes her her middle finger. You roll your eyes at their banter.

"I don't get what's the big deal," You cross your arms over your chest. "I mean people do the things me and Mizu do all the time."

Akemi gives you a blank stare. "I mean this in the best possible way but if I didn't love you and you said that to me, I would actually slap your face."

"I can slap your face for free, right now."

"Not now, Mizu," You nudged her knee in retaliation as the blue-eyed girl grumbled in response. "Also, bullshit. That's unfair."

Akemi rolls her eyes before slamming her drink down on the table. "That's unfair? You two are basically me and Taigen if Taigen grew the balls to actually court me instead of parading his biceps like a damn himbo. That honestly felt like I'd lost 20 years of my life. She's at your beck and call and even fucking ditches our hangouts just because you had a little cold. That's what's unfair."

You stare at her with furrowed eyebrows as she huffs and takes an angry sip of her drink. You slowly nod, trying to get a sense of her reasoning. Well, you and Mizu had developed a natural sense of service-giving to each other. After all, your deep friendship was only a resort of living together. Wouldn't anyone be that considerate to their best friends?

"I swear to God," Akemi places a hand in front of her mouth as she looks between the two of you. Mizu had already tuned her out, opting to hug you close by the waist and leaning her head on your shoulder as she took the time to rest. "I'm so close to throwing myself off the cliff figuratively and it's both of your fault."

You roll your eyes at her, crumpling a tissue paper before throwing it towards her. The gal dodges it with ease before scrunching her nose.

"You're overreacting."

"Sure," Akemi squints her eyes. "Whatever fits your story."

You're not sure when it started but somehow Akemi's words started to get to you. You knew, for sure, (you think?) that she was just bluffing. Your relationship with Mizu was yours and yours alone, anything between the two of you must be kept between the two of you only. It wasn't as if the comments of other people had affected you—you often tend to brush them off, treating some of them as either praises of your close bond or jokes due to their easygoing nature. You're not sure if it's because of Akemi's short-tempered personality that you've started to notice things too.

"Here," Mizu's voice startles you out of your focus. You turn your head to see the raven-haired gal, hair down and cozy in a black hoodie and sweatpants. You had been studying and getting things done at your uni's library as finals were nearing. The desk at your dorm and the familiarity of your room seemed to mess up with your productivity and so you decided to change venues. Mizu, being the good-hearted angel that she is, drops a cup of coffee beside you and a bag of your favorite food. She then tucks her hands into the pockets of her hoodie.

You look up at her with a pout, eyes softened. "You didn't have to."

Mizu pats your head before gingerly pulling the seat next to you. She sits down and leans her head on her arm perched on the table. "It's the least I could do. You're working hard."

You smile at her praise, glancing at the worksheets sprawled on your table. It wouldn't hurt to take a break, no?

Mizu gives you a raise of an eyebrow as you turn your body towards her, copying her form. Your lips pull into a small smile as you reach out to brush her loose locks. "It's way past your curfew. You should've just slept."

Mizu snorts. "You say that like I'm a child."

You reach out to pinch her cheek causing her to swat your hand away. Letting out a few giggles as she scrunches her nose at you. You would've continued to act normal afterward, there was nothing to freak out over but then Mizu started staring at you with that gaze of hers. Usually, you would either jokingly stare back or playfully ignore her but somehow this time, you're suddenly feeling a bit self-conscious. You let out a cough as you turn back toward your worksheets, unable to handle the intensity of her gaze.

Not sure if she noticed it or what, you make quick haste to get back on track with your studying. About 15 minutes in, you hear shifting beside you. Thinking that it's her cue to go, you turn toward her with curiosity but then your chair moves swiftly to her side. You let out a yelp as she moves your chair with one arm, closer toward her.

"Mizu—!" You squeak at the sudden movement as she lets out a few chuckles at your reaction. Soon enough, a deep flush bursts across your cheeks due to the sudden proximity. She's faced toward you, legs spread to accommodate your figure, and her other arm perched on the back of your chair.

You feel your heart speed up as she leans close and smiles. "Get back to studying, Bonnie."

You obediently follow her orders as you lower your head to get back to answering the worksheets in front of you. You hear Mizu chuckle beside you as you willed yourself to continue writing and ignore her very existence.

Heart? Speed up? What the fuck?

There's a moment of reprieve before you feel the sudden thump of Mizu's head against your shoulder.

"What's up?" You hum gingerly, your free hand moving up to gently pet her head. Mizu shifts her body close, the arm at the back of your chair pulling your shoulder and body to her.

"Do you want Italian or Chinese?" She asks out of the blue, eyes watching you write down equations and numerical formulas on your paper. Your heart softens as you feel her other hand envelope over your stomach, pulling you into a side hug.

There weren't many people around the library at this time of the night besides the occasional suffering computer science major seated at the far end of the library and the librarian herself. Mizu allows herself to be vulnerable within your care. You eye your worksheets, debating finishing them or giving your cute roommate dozing off on your shoulder attention.

Nah, fuck it.

You gently close your notes before cupping Mizu's cheek, softly pulling her up from your shoulder.

"Hm?" Mizu hums as she slowly blinks at you, face leaning towards your touch as you cup her face gingerly within your palms. You give her a soft smile, thumbs running softly across her cheeks.

"Ordering takeout might be a bit too much right now," You quietly whisper to her, eyes crinkling playfully. She lets out a few chuckles at your response. "Although, I recall having a waffle mixture back at our dorm and we still have your dad's waffle maker. What do you say?"

Her gaze darts over you face before she pulls away from your touch. You look at her curious as she scoots to the edge of her seat before pulling you into a hug. The raven-haired girl burrows her face on your neck, letting a loud sigh of relief as she encased you in her arms.

"Alright," She mumbles on the collar of your shirt, breath tickling your neck. You flush at her proximity, opting to rest your head gently against hers. Just as the two of you would continue to bask in each other's presence, a cough alerts the two of you to pull away.

Your eyes dart toward the culprit as the librarian raises her eyebrow toward the both of you.

"You can take your couple date elsewhere if you both have nothing better to do here." The old lady deadpans, fanning herself with her foldable fan. The both of you stare as she gives you one last judgmental look before walking away. Mizu wordlessly helps you pack up your stuff, leaving the library with you trailing behind with your ears flushed red.

"Listen," Taigen takes a deep breath before continuing. "We're only choosing your dorm because Akemi has their annual dorm parties, Our kitchen broke so Ringo can't cook, and we know Mizu is a loaded motherfucker, alright? It's absolutely not because we want to see your icky mundane domestic life."

Mizu leans against the doorframe, staring Taigen down as he finishes his piece. You, on the other hand, can only smile from your spot behind Mizu. It had been your scheduled movie night with friends and originally, it was Ringo and Taigen's turn to host but due to unfortunate circumstances, the duty of hosting befell on your shoulders again. Albeit, a bit rushed this time.

Akemi rolls her eyes beside Taigen before stepping up towards the doorway and pushing her way through Mizu's defense (Mizu let her in, she didn't do anything wrong). Ringo smiles gleefully from his spot beside Taigen before sliding his way inside and pulling you in a hug (again, Mizu let him in, he's the only person who can actually cook).

"Y/N!" Your tall bubbly-bear looking friend cheers as he swings you back and forth in his hug. You giggle as you return the gesture, slightly pulling away and patting his cheeks. Ringo grins. "I missed you!"

You playfully roll your eyes at him. "Oh come on Ringo, I saw you last week."

"Too long!" Ringo whines as he rests his head on top of yours. Your heart warms at Ringo's affections. Your dear friend was a walking talking incarnation of a life-sized teddy bear. The two of you continue to giggle at each other's presence, not noticing the pair of blue eyes trained on you.

"Oi, Ring," Mizu calls out from her position by the doorway, eyes pulled into a glare. Ringo stiffens beside you at her tone. You could only blink your eyes at her with a curious gaze. "Get your ass in the kitchen."

"On it!" Ringo makes no haste and eventually bolts to your dorm's kitchen. You place your hand on your hips as you stare at her with a raised eyebrow. Mizu only looks away before catching a sneaking Taigen trying to move his way inside. The raven-haired girl slams her hand on the doorframe preventing Taigen from entering.

"Where do you think you're going?" Mizu asks with a threatening glare. Her eyes squint as you watch Taigen sweatdrop.

"C'mon, man! I just want to fucking watch Ryan Gosling, can you let me in?!" Taigen whines, stomping his foot. Mizu's face stays blank, hand clutching the doorframe. Taigen resorts to plan B and looks up at you from his spot with the most disturbing try of puppy eyes. "Y/N, please I'll treat you all the fucking bobas you want just please pull your war freak of a wife away from me."

You chuckle as he clasps his hands together, ignoring Mizu's pointed glare. You knew that Mizu would let him in either way. After all Mizu says, and you quote, "It's like leaving a fucking dog outside with all that yapping."

Finally deciding to help Taigen, your eyes gaze at Mizu's back with a smile. "Bon, c'mon leave him be."

There's a pause of silence before Mizu eases up on the doorway and eventually side steps. Taigen lets out a noise of victory before making quick steps toward you and places a kiss on the side of your temple.

"This is why you're my favorite," Taigen crinkles his eyes playfully. You roll your eyes, slapping his arm.

"You said that to Akemi 3 days ago."

"The past is past, what matters is the pre—"

A loud smack on the head propels Taigen forward causing your eyes to widen. You turn to Mizu who looks at him with disgust.

"I let you in and you still yap like a dog. Do you want me to kick you out again?" Mizu stands next to you with a menacing glare. You watch in amusement as Taigen frowns, rubbing the back of his head.

"Goddamn, just fucking marry this emotionally constipated motherfucker please so that I may find peace," Taigen makes a pointed look towards you. "I hate that I'm always at the receiving end of your punches when Y/N doesn't give you a bit of her atten—AGH!"

You let out a few giggles as you watched Mizu try and kick him away from where the two of you were standing. The poor man cowers behind Akemi who elbows him off her figure as she tries to browse through you and Mizu's shared Netflix account.

Your eyes glance toward Mizu who grumbles under her breath before turning towards you.

"Never let him in our dorm ever again please." Mizu deadpans prompting soft laughs from your lips. You then watch as Mizu walks toward you, eyes squinting at the side of your temple before grabbing your face with one hand—cheeks smushed.

"Mijuuuu," You whine as she tilts your head to the side. You notice her gaze on where Taigen kissed you. Your eyebrows furrowed as Mizu reached you with the sleeve of her hoodie pulled over her fingers. She then makes harsh wiping movements on your temple causing you to groan.

"Ow." You sob playfully as she finishes her ministrations. Mizu then turns your head towards her, the corners of her lips slightly upturned as she squishes your face within her grasp.

"Cute." She mumbles before leaning down to place a chaste kiss on your forehead. Your heart thumps against your chest—eyes wide as a deep flush rises to your ears. Whether Mizu noticed it or not, she only pulled away and walked over to where Akemi and Taigen were—both too busy fighting each other for the remote (Akemi wants horror but Taigen insists on a Ryan Gosling marathon).

You stand still in the hallway, breath hitching as you try to calm yourself down.

Unfair.

There's a nagging thought at the back of your head that you think that you might've been a little bit too lenient with Mizu.

Your friendship and current situation as roommates didn't start off in a good footing. Having met Ringo and Mizu during freshman orientation, you had no choice but to stick close to them due to the unfamiliar environment. Ringo welcomed you with open arms while Mizu didn't care if you joined or not. Apparently, she didn't really care about Ringo or you.

It was safe to say that your first impression of your roommate with her ever-perpetual stone-cold glare had not been the best. After all, she had ignored you most of the time and tended to stray away from your group of three.

It was during that time that she had issues with her current roommate who always tried to bring people in as a one-night stand that the two of you decided on common ground.

You were out that night, going on a quick walk break from midterms when you saw Mizu complaining at the front desk. Still considering her your friend albeit a bit hesitant due to her off-putting nature, you hear Mizu complain to the landlord. You overheard her issues with her roommate and decided to offer your space up as your previous roommate had shifted courses, was transferred to a farther building, and therefore had to move to a closer dormitory. She seemed awkward but grateful enough to accept your offer.

Then things are where they are now. After knowing and living with each other for at least 2 years now, your closeness with Mizu didn't really bother you. It was nice being comfortable enough to just be authentic in front of somebody without the fear of getting judged. Mizu tends to be quite direct with her words and doesn't like to bluff around. That's what you kind of love and hate about her.

Love because she's upfront—what you see is what you get. She gives you thoughtful advice, the most rational between the two of you, mature and level headed enough to tell you the truth when nobody else would. Hate because sometimes she's too direct. Direct about your mistakes and wrongdoings but also direct about what she feels.

Like this instance.

"Mizu?" Your feet cladded socks thump loudly against the wooden floor, waddling your way toward your roommate who is busy mopping the living room.

"Yeah?" She calls out, hair tied in her usual bun as she continues to clean. She hears you enter the area, turning towards you with her hand outstretched. "Careful. Floor's wet."

"Yeah, yeah." You grab her hand, watching as she puts the mop away to the side. Finally having her undivided attention, you swing your hands back and forth as you come to say what you went for in the first place. "So y'know how Akemi got her internship at that company she really worked hard for?"

"Mmh."

"Then she was offered like a position right?"

"Mmh."

"So like, as a reward for her great performance, she got tickets for us to watch Laufey next week."

Mizu's eyebrows raised in recognition. "Really?"

You nod your head with enthusiasm, smile brimming from ear to ear. Mizu's eyes softened as she lets you continue.

"So I was wondering," You bite your bottom lip as your hand shifts to wrap around her index finger—still swaying it back and forth. "Can you help me find an outfit, please?"

Mizu hums as you peer at her with an excited grin. The raven-haired woman glances at her unfinished work before sighing.

"I suppose cleaning can wait." She responds before getting pulled in a hug.

"Thank you! Thank you!" You make careful tiptoes around her work as you walk back to your room.

It takes Mizu about 7 minutes to finally reach your room with a soft knock on your door. You tell her to come in as she gently opens the door to walk inside.

"Options?" Mizu sighs in relief as she plops down on the bed. You tell her your options and Mizu nods for you to try them on.

It takes a while for both of you to decide—eventually having to stick with two dresses. Finally trying the last dress on, you twirl in front of the mirror, examining the way you look before meeting Mizu's eyes on the reflection.

"That's the one," Mizu says with a soft tone. There's something about the way she eyes you up and down with a gentle look in her eyes paired with the soft tone of her deep voice. You pause, turning around to see her on the edge of your bed, arms resting on her knees—hands interlocked with her body leaned forward. Those hues of blue peer up at you with half-lidded eyes. Your cheeks heat up.

She breathes a heavy breath before motioning for you to come over with a come hither motion of her fingers. "C'mere."

You make slow steps toward her form, a couple of inches away from each other. You look down at her as she eyes you up, an unreadable look on her face before she suddenly stands up from her seat. Suddenly you're reminded of Mizu's height, albeit only a couple of inches taller than you, you still had to crane your neck at a distance as close as you were now. Suddenly the air seemed thick and constricting.

There's a sudden tension filling the air as the two of you only look into each other's eyes. You find yourself unable to blink as you admire her features. A mix of handsome and pretty—a face you've seen countless times and yet still be in awe of.

Just as the moment had started, Mizu suddenly ends it with a flick on your forehead causing you to blink.

"Hey!" You whine at the sudden gesture, hands reaching up to touch the spot she flicked at. Mizu smirks, chuckling.

"You blinked, I won."

You scoff at her. "Unfair."

She then fixes the fabric of your dress, making sure that the pleats and the flow is positioned nicely. Then the next few words stun you.

"You look really beautiful, Y/N." She says with such a genuine tone that it leaves you speechless. Seeing your reaction she lets out a few laughs then pinches your cheek. You let out a chuckle at the sound of her laughter.

"Favorite Laufey song?" You tilt your head in curiosity as you look up at her with a smile. Mizu softly blinks with a gentle smile.

"Serendipity."

Your hands slam against the wooden surface of the desk inside the library's discussion room. Three pairs of eyes—one filled with curiosity, one with indifference, and one with annoyance. You breathe heavily as you lock eyes with each one.

"I think I like Mizu."

Suddenly Taigen stands up from his seat and applauds you—Ringo, ever the sweetheart he is, smiles at you and waves his arms for a little celebration dance.

"Congratulations, Sherlock," Taigen smiles sarcastically. "If I had to watch the two of you in an eternal battle of who's the most oblivious, I would already have a degree in Bachelor of No Communication, Major in being a pussy and a minor in having mommy issues."

Akemi gives him a disgusted glare. "Can you shut the fuck up or is being a yapper your honest profession?"

"Alright," Taigen raises his hands. "Chill."

Akemi rolls her eyes before looking at you with her lips upturned. "Happy that you're finally realizing it, hun."

You groan as run your palms over your face. "That's the problem!"

"Why's that a problem?" Ringo asks innocently. You pull yours hands down with a huff.

"It's Mizu."

"So?" Akemi raises an eyebrow.

"Mizu's my best friend," You whine. "I can't risk it when I don't know if she feels the same."

"Be fucking for real right now." Akemi deadpans as she crosses her arms over her chest. "The damn woman looks at you as if you've just given her the stars and the moon. Y'know know how much I envy that?"

Taigen nudges Akemi beside him with a pout. Akemi glances at him with a sigh. "I was just making a point. You'd have to be dumb stupid to not notice anything at all, Y/N."

You purse your lips as you sheepishly look at Akemi like a child being punished.

"You did, didn't you?" Akemi squints her eyes with a smile. "Precisely why I favor you over that emotional catastrophe of a woman. I suggest taking the chance. It's not every day that you find someone that's a complete fit for you."

Akemi gives you a soft smile. You purse your lips as Taigen gives you a thumbs up.

"You can do it, Y/N." Ringo smiles at you from his seat. "If there's anything I know about Mizu, it's that she cares for you a lot more than you think."

You nod, encouraged by your friends' advice and reassurance. While Mizu's someone you didn't want to lose, you'd rather take the risk on giving her the love she deserves rather than keeping it buried within you.

Finally, your resolve is built and strengthened. It's just Mizu, it should be alright.

To put things simply, it had been 3 weeks since your talk with Taigen, Akemi, and Ringo.

The three have tried their very best to allow you to confess but somehow Mizu always has something to do or something keeps ruining the moment. Confessing in a cafe? Suddenly a random NPC interrupts. In the library? Librarian follows you everywhere with that judgmental gaze of hers after your previous altercation. Campus garden? Mizu's getting called for org duties. Your own dorm? Mizu's asleep.

You're at your wit's ends and while you can tell that all of this isnt intentionally done, you can still feel the frustration.

It's this night where you reach your final straw.

You had just gotten home after a day of requirements, finals, and activities. Mizu's schedule was moved a bit earlier causing the two of you to be quite busy due to the gap in the dates for your finals. When you're free, Mizu's taking an exam. When Mizu's got nothing to do, you're working your ass off in the library.

The finals season has completely ended and you're walking home with a fleeting mind and relieved sigh.

As you make the turn toward your dormitory, you notice a familiar head of black crouched over the sidewalk. Your eyebrows furrowed as you see Mizu busy with whatever caught her attention. Just as you reach at least a meter away from her, you see a fluffy white cat perk its head behind Mizu's figure, blue eyes sparkling with curiosity as it mews at your figure.

"Huh?" You hear Mizu hum before turning to face you. A look recognition passes her eyes. "Oh. You're home."

You fall silent as you continue to watch her pet the cat. You hear its purrs as it leans its head to Mizu's touch.

"I cooked hotpot upstairs," Mizu says, eyes still looking at you. Her hair is down, only pinned back by her glasses worn over her head. That little frail bang escapes with ease from it as she looks down to see the cat on its back, paws demanding a belly rub. She's wearing the black sweater you gave her with its sleeves rolled up to her arms.

Fuck. Why does she look so—

"I can tell you're spent," Mizu softly smiles at you. There's a slight breeze that gently ruffles her hair. "You did so well, Bonnie."

Then it's as if something snapped within you and there's nothing that could stop you from unleashing the pent up frustration of not getting a moment with her.

"Oh my god," Your gaze is unwavering as you stare at her figure. She raises an eyebrow at your response. "I'm so fucking in love with you."

Mizu stops her ministrations with the cat, figure tensing as the light breeze of the wind fills in the void. Your heart thumps as you breathe heavily, watching any sort of reaction for her shocked face.

Then it is as if you could hear a pin drop then a change in the atmosphere. Mizu is flushed deep red, eyes blinking as she stares at you with mouth agape.

Your eyebrows raise in amusement.

"Huh?"

"I love you." You repeat taking a step closer to her crouched form. She furrows her eyebrows, blush spreading up to her ears. Oh?

"I-I don't—"

You grin as you crouch in front of her, eyes trained on her shy features. "I said I love you."

"Y/N." Mizu grumbles as she tries to glare at you.

"What?" You shrug, smile brimming from ear to ear. The emotions on her face are clear as she stammers and stutters in front of you.

"That's not fair." She grits her teeth.

"What's not fair?" You tilt your head in amusement.

"I wanted to say it first." She mumbles as she looks down at the cat purring between the two of you.

You let out a soft laugh at her whining.

"Well, I'll pretend I didn't say anything and that I just walked back from school," Mizu eyes you in confusion as you stand back up and run a few meters away from her—back from where you previously stood. You clear your throat as you straightened yourself up. "Oh my god! Finals is so hard, if only there's a hot tall masculine woman to declare their love for me."

You end with a dramatic touch of the back of your hand against your forehead. Mizu chuckles, shaking her head before standing to her full height. She reaches you with ease, lips turned to a smile as her hands make their way to cup your face.

"You're an idiot," She grumbles with affection before pulling you in a kiss. There's no time wasted as you kiss back, clutching the fabric of her sweater as she tilts her head to deepen the kiss.

You squeak as you feel her tongue intertwine with yours. You feel yourself get lightheaded, melting in her touch as your arms wrap around her neck while hers takes hold of your waist. She pulls you closer with no distance left to break you apart. You whine as you feel her bite on your bottom lip, gently pulling it before pulling away. Heavy breaths are what fills the space between your bodies, eyes still trained on swollen red lips while want and need courses through your veins.

She lets out a grunt as she dives to taste more of you, pecking your lips once, twice—thrice before finally breaking off.

There's a moment of silence before hushed giggles errupted between the two of you—Mizu swaying your bodies as you both bask in each other's presence.

Hushed whispers, sweet nothings, wide smiles, and stolen kisses are all that's seen between two idiots in love. Before you can further enjoy your moment with Mizu, a loud meow interrupts your moment. The two of you look down at the cat licking its paw as it stares up at you both.

It swishes its tail back and forth, tilting its head before stretching. You and Mizu look at each other with a smile.

"You up for another roommate? Might be severely in love with you too." You tease as the cat leans its body against Mizu. Your girlfriend rolls her eyes. You giggle.

"Oh, shut up."

a/n:

you: *sees mizu w a cat* marry me

mizu: ?

projecting ken tendencies in taigen mb. akemi is a mood tbh.

[simonriley09]

Okay. I think I've got one.

Reader, who is being "babysat" for some reason or other by König. Maybe he's a bodyguard.

Point is, they decide to pass the time with reader practicing her German. König being like, oh hehe yeah I can help since I'm supposed to keep you inside and all.

Ends with him teaching her to say the raunchiest filthiest shit known to man, and faps off to it. (maybe later she can catch him 👀)

OHOHOOO YOU BET I WILL.

König looked at his file, thinking he's gonna babysit some random brats but when he met you?? a perfectly grown adult but very... clumsy. And naive.

You keep hitting your shins, head, shoulder and ass on EVERYTHING. the cupboards, doorframes, tables, shoes, it's almost comical at the sound of your yelp when you almost trip over your converse for the 12th time. He ends up just sitting you in his lap and teaching you german. "Liebling means Sweetheart." König said, looking down at you. "Ooh!, what about kitty?" You said, looking so innocent with those perfect eyes. "Kätzchen" He replied. "K-etch-yen?" You tried and he laughed. "Sure, Liebling." König continues helping you learn German for a while, getting a stupid grin under his mask when you say "Scheisse" obliviously.

In the evening when you go to bed he can't help but sneak into your room, going through your closet but pauses when he see's your laundry basket by the bathroom door. He rummages through it until he finds your panties/boxer-shorts before locking himself in the bathroom. He's already rock hard, leaking through his own boxers as he hastily opens his fly and boxers enough to pull his cock out, wrapping your panties/boxer-shorts around his cock with a soft groan. His cock is aching, leaking all over your boxers and the floor until his hand is slick with pre-cum making disgusting sounds. It's so hot to him though. His hips rolling into his hand, your undergarments filthy and covered in his slick, he lets his head fall back against the door, trying not to make so much noise as he gets off to the fact that he's secretly corrupting you. He lets out another soft groan, getting closer and closer to orgasm. The coil in his belly tightening until his toes curl. When he finally gushes he's biting his mask, his cock spurting pearly white cum all over your undergarments before he shudders, putting the clothing item back in the laundry basket.

He zips up his pants, satisfied with what he just did. The next morning when you found your panties/boxer-shorts your heart did a flip.

[the-kr8tor]

it you're still taking requests, can i have a hobie with a spider!r who is almost comically serious all the time? i'm talking like r never speaks to anyone, never smiles, only gets the job done as soon as possible; but when they're alone r is the most sweetest, gentlest touch starved person in the whole universe and refuses to let go of hobie

i've been thinking about it for weeks and i can't stop thinking!! thank you in advance and have a great day!! 🪻

Thank you for requesting! I hope you like it ❤️

Pairing: Hobie Brown x fem! Reader/ Spider-Punk x fem! Reader

Word count: 1.2k

Tags: No use of Y/N, no specific physical description of the reader, cw brief injury mention, spider! R, established relationship, lovestruck! Hobie, fluff.

ʕ⁠·⁠ᴥ⁠·⁠ʔ

Lizard or better known as doctor Connors, lays on the concrete with his scales slowly fading away as green smoke envelopes his shrinking form. He hisses quietly, a deep rumble that is akin to relief; as if he had a deep splinter in his finger that has finally been extracted after weeks of torment.

Hobie sighs, hands gripping the neck of his guitar, knuckles shaking as he makes his way towards the green fog. He waves the smoke away with one hand, coughing as the smell of burning plastic itches his nose through his mask.

“Love?” He knows you're amidst the fog, hearing your steady breaths above the hissing and groaning from the former lizard.

It takes you a few seconds to collect yourself, hand stinging from how tight you grip the serum you've just injected into Connors scaly neck.

“Here.” Your tone is smooth and stable, as if you weren't just tossed aside by a large tail.

Hobie follows your voice, the green smoke finally revealing you standing over the now healed scientist. He approaches you slowly, and you immediately look over your shoulder to meet with the eyes of his mask.

“I'm okay.” You don't wait for him to ask, already knowing what's going through his adrenaline filled mind. “Are you hurt?” Your cool and unbothered lilt wavers for a moment, replaced with worry for the man before you.

He reaches for your shoulder, gloved hand sliding in between your shoulder blades, letting his warmth soothe you through your suit. Without another word, you lean against him, head tilting to the side so he could cup your cheek better.

“‘m fine, jus’ a few scratches—” The hoots and hollers of his fellow spider people interrupt you both. The puffs of smoke has completely cleared, and as he looks over to the source of the exhilarated yells, he glances back at you to find that you're already a few steps away from him.

You're punching in the codes on your bracelet to transport the now human doctor Connors trapped in the orange glow of the capture machine. Gwen and Pavitr run towards the two of you, suits tattered but with only a few gashes on them. Gwen clasps Hobie's shoulder, laughing and jostling him in place.

“You came in clutch with that guitar bash, Hobie!” Pav gushes at him, still heaving from the fight.

“It was a combined effort. Right, love?” He asks you, seemingly unbothered by the ruckus.

“Oh shit, yeah! You flew with that serum real quick!” Gwen leaves his side, practically bouncing on her feet as she bounds towards you. “Good job!” She reaches towards you with a fist bump, waiting for you to bump your knuckles with hers. “C’mon then!” She encourages you, lopsided smile never fading as she patiently waits.

You stare at her fist, then to Hobie. He shrugs, and you swear you see an outline of his smile from under his mask. With a sigh, you gently, and slowly bump your fist with Gwen's.

“Hell yeah!” Gwen jumps for joy, you guess that the adrenaline is making her giddy. “See, I told you that she's warming up to me!”

“Sure, Gwen.” Pav huffs, “You're not the one having afternoon chai with her in my dimension!”

“You what?!” They argue with each other, both trying to one up each other by saying who's closer to you. In their minds, you're an unstoppable, unmoving and nonchalant boulder that no one can ever beat. They seem to think you're the coolest spider woman there is, Hobie thinks so too without a doubt.

Hobie chuckles, putting his guitar on his back as he makes his way over to you. His hand sneakily snakes over your waist, brow raised when you sigh at him blatantly. The orange hue from the opened portal shines on your mask, bathing you in its warm glow. He thinks you look marvelous, incredibly fit in his own words.

“What?” He asks innocently as he squeezes your hip. He swears he saw you roll your eyes behind your mask as you both enter inside the portal.

—

Your legs are intertwined with his while you're both lounging on Hobie's patchwork couch. His arm is around your shoulder while you continue to dab the cotton ball full of antiseptic on the slash right next to his elbow. His fingers play with your hair, calloused pads twirling the strands around his fingers. His head is resting right beside your bicep, eyes glued onto your cute expression while you patch him up.

Your eyes glance at his lovestruck expression, smile slowly curling on your lips as you see him wink at you sluggishly. “Careful, it might stay like that forever.”

“Don't want that,” he pats your knee before cupping it in his warm hand, thumb etching little hearts around your soft skin. “You might think ‘m winkin’ at everyone.”

Chuckling, you shake your head at his antics as you feel him gently tug at your hair. Completely dotting on you whilst you pamper him with antiseptic and bandages. “That could be a problem, people might think I'm back on the market.”

“Then we really can't have that.” He mutters through his own smile. He can't help but adore you and your rare laugh, which makes it worth more than gold to him. “Is it true about you havin' tea with Pav?”

“Why? You jealous?” You finally finish up his arm, fingers smelling like alcohol and antiseptic. He straightens up enough for him to lean against the sofa, nose all scrunched up from your comment. “You are!” Poking his chest, you twist in your seat to lay your head on his lap, which he welcomes wholeheartedly with his hand immediately flying towards your head to cradle your smiling face.

“‘m not, lovie. Trust me, I know you two are gossipin’ together with his aunt.” It's his turn to poke your cheek as you continue to beam at him through your giddy look.

“We're gossiping about you by the way.” You scooch impossibly closer to him, arms enveloping around his waist like he's made out of honey and you're a very hungry bear. Your cheek is pressed lovingly on his lean stomach whilst he caresses your hair. You hear and feel him laugh, slightly bouncing you up and down from his chuckling.

“‘Bout what, hm?” Hobie lifts his legs up on the couch to cage you in, he feels your smile against his shirt.

“About how you keep forgetting to put the toilet seat down.” Your muffled voice reverberates through him. He feels warm and fuzzy inside when you lift your face up from his stomach with a wide smile that reminds him of a gopher peeking its head out cutely from the burrow.

“It was one time, love!” Your giggling can be heard throughout the houseboat. “And it was in the middle of the bloody night.” He pats your behind as you continue to laugh at him and his excuse.

“One time too many, love.” You copy his tone, effectively teasing him. “Besides, I still can't get your face out of my mind when you jumped out of bed from how I screamed.”

He remembers how he leaped up from the bed with such ferocity that he hit all of the corners he passed to get to you. “And I can't get the image of you stuck on the toilet.” He mirrors your smile, and you can't help but poke his dimple.

“Still looked fit though, right?”

Hobie leans against your hand, “bloody fuckin' fit, lovie.”

[ddejavvu]

you join the team and hangman gets real shy with you and everyone is like

:O what have you done :O

and you're like

idk

and hes just like heart eyes

bc i LIVE for hangman being whipped and all nervous around his crushy wushy

MY LOVE MY LIGHT MY SAVING GRACE THANK YOU FOR THIS

--

Reassignment is a struggle. It's temporary, or, it's meant to be, but if things go well with your new team, you may be a permanent fixture. So you're a little nervous stepping onto the tarmac, all things considered.

You'd only managed to meet one person from your new squadron so far, a good-natured, kind man named Jake. He had seen you wandering along the hallway, directing you to Admiral Simpson's office when you'd explained your predicament. You don't spot him on the tarmac now, but you're not sure how many people are on the team.

There's a dark-haired woman that you can see, and she notices you, too. You aren't sure whether they've been shown pictures of you, but your last name is patched into your uniform and the helmet under your arm is branded with your callsign. A flash of recognition shows in her eyes, and she starts towards you.

"You're Y/N Y/L/N?" She quirks a brow, and you nod, smiling kindly.

"Nice to meet you," She grins, a brilliant expression on her pretty face, "I'm Natasha. Callsign Phoenix."

"Phoenix," You gush, "I like that. I'm supposed to join you for a hop today?"

"Yeah, we heard about that!" A man steps up beside you, cocky smirk on his face as he holds out a hand, "I'm Coyote. You're supposed to fly with Hangman, right?"

It wasn't ideal, being stuck in someone's backseat. You're used to flying, but this squadron wasn't in need of a new pilot, and you've been trained for both seats.

"Oh god," A man beside you groans, mustache a burnt red, "That's unfortunate. I'm, uh, Rooster. By the way."

You cock your head to the side, shaking his hand, "Rooster. What's wrong with that?"

"He's... difficult." A shorter man pipes up from your left, sticking his hand out, "Fanboy. He's just arrogant, that's all. He thinks he's the best, so it's hard to work with him if he feels like you're working against him. Hopefully he doesn't give you too much of a hard time."

Your heart sinks a little at the prospect of being paired with someone who didn't take kindly to partnership. You're resilient, sure, but there's only so much you can tolerate.

"Don't look now," Phoenix mumbles, leaning in close so no one can hear, "But he's coming out now. Just stand your ground, we can handle him if it gets too much."

You nod near-imperceptibly, waiting until you can hear the thunk of his boots on the asphalt before you spare him a glance. To your delight, the sweet, smiling face of Jake greets you, his cheeks already dusted a rosy hue.

"Y/N," He greets, southern drawl as sweet as sugar, "You're part of my squadron?"

"Your squadron," Rooster scoffs disapprovingly.

""You two know each other?" A tall man inquires, dark skin and pretty eyes, "I thought this was your first time here, Y/N."

"It is," You nod, exchanging a friendly smile with the man and glancing down at his name tag: Fitch, "But I ran into Jake yesterday in the hallway. He helped me to Admiral Simpson's office."

"Oh he did?" Fitch cocks his head to the side, a shit-eating grin thrown at Hangman, "Oh, that's so nice of you, Jake."

"I'm so glad you think that, Payback," Jake sneers, grin more menacing than any glare could be, "Now if you'll excuse us, Y/N and I should get comfortable with our new ride."

Jake crosses the rest of the tarmac until he's beside you, his hand coming to press against the small of your back just as it had yesterday. He's developing a habit of leading you around, and you reach his plane shortly, both of your names stamped on the side.

"I've never flown two-seater before," Jake admits, brushing a hand over his printed callsign, "This'll be interesting."

"Oh, why now?" You frown, fitting your helmet over your head, "What changed?"

"Uh," Hangman's eyes widen, and you think you've asked the wrong question. He answers, though, it's just sheepish.

"Admiral Simpson thinks it would be best if I had someone else with me in the air," He starts, choosing his words carefully, "Because he has observed some, uh- daring maneuvers from me. And he thinks that I might benefit from having someone else's safety to consider."

"You're too reckless," You realize, and you can't help but giggle, "So I'm your babysitter?"

"Let's not call it that!" Jake laughs, blush intensified, "Let's call it partners. Deal?"

"Deal," You grin, eyes twinkling similar to his own, "Partners."

"What the fuck?" Fanboy spits, watching from afar as Jake helps you into the jet, letting you grab his hand and brace your weight on his arm, "Did he get possessed, or something?"

"She hasn't slapped him yet," Rooster ponders, "He must be keeping himself in check."

"Is that Y/N?" Natasha turns where she hears Bob's voice nearing behind her, nodding with a growing smirk on her face.

"Yeah, that's her. And that's Hangman."

She points to Jake, who's leaning into your seat, concern evident on his face as he helps you adjust the position of your harness.

Bob's face falls, scrunching into a frown, "He's... helping her?"

"This is gonna get interesting, boys," Phoenix grins, eyes narrowed at Jake who's still grinning sweetly at you, "Hangman's got a crush."

[vivispec]

Hello there! I'm not even sure how to start. So I felt very disappointed by DA:TV, because of various reasons. Not trying to dampen the mood, I am super happy for you if you actually enjoyed the game! If you do not mind, could you list the things you liked/loved about the game? Help me see the "bright side"? Just gush a litte about it, I could use some positive input around my favourite gaming series of all time. :') thank you <3

Absolutely! For me, I think I always figured I was going to like this game, even if it wasn't my fave of all time? Trick Weekes always writes characters/quests that I like, and for me, story/characters come before anything else. I liked Andromeda, flawed as it was. Even if the gameplay was mediocre, I was certain I'd find something I'd like.

But the gameplay wasn't mediocre. It was actually really, really fun. I played Spellblade, and honestly, the gameplay might be a highpoint for me. I don't really like action gameplay, I tolerate it. I loved this, though.

The biggest thing that really sold me is the fact that the big choices in this game are difficult in a way Bioware has been trying to capture since Origins, but I don't think they've ever nailed until now (except maybe in Mass Effect). Even in Origins, when they had big choices like what to do with Connor, or how to deal with the werewolves, there was always a cop out choice. There isn't one in this game, so far as I can see. At the end of EVERY companion quest there was a choice I couldn't choose, something that made me wonder just what would've happened if I'd picked something different, and don't get me started on the endgame. The endgame was brutal :')

I love the characters, too! I do think some of the writing can get a bit campy or be a bit on the nose, I think some subtlety is lacking for certain characters especially in the beginning, but once shit hits the fan just about every companion has their gutwrenching moment. I felt for every single character in this game, during their act 2 personal quest moments. In all the other games there was at least one character I just couldn't care about, but even the ones that I thought wouldn't tickle my fancy snuck up on me. By the end, I loved all of them so much. I only wanted more.

I like Rook, too. I think I can see how their characterization might be disappointing, though. I think the key for me and my friend @sweetmage was finding the right Rook to play. We both had lots of concepts and while I plugged in the right one first, I know they struggled until they found the right one. Rook is kinda like Hawke in the way that they have a bit of personality already and a defined character path, which can get in the way of true RP. Once I stopped fighting it and let Rook be Rook, I liked the game a lot more, and I liked my character a lot more.

Then there's lore. Oh, lore. I have listened to or read every codex. I have a treasure trove of theories I keep locked in my head. All I need is a corkboard and some red string. Getting to see so many of those theories come to fruition? Things they've been teasing since Origins, that I picked up on when I was 12? Absolutely magical! Some of it I think they bungled--there's one reveal I've been waiting for for 15 years that I found in a note, not codex, on a bridge in Minrathous, no fanfare or anything--but the majority of it punched me right in the face with so much force I had to pause the game and do a little pacing. I won't get into specifics for spoiler reasons, but seeing all those little dots connect? seeing when I was right, and when I was wrong? SO euphoric for me!

A lot of the things I didn't like, too, like making the Crows less shitty--so easy to headcanon around, in ways that don't contradict canon! It's one of my favorite things to do, it feels like a puzzle to me, making everything that is for certain and everything I want fit together. That one, for instance, Zevran totally gutted all the shitty Crows, and left only the good ones :)

I will say, it's clear they were trying to wrap things up. I got the sense while playing it felt that they didn't want to leave any loose threads in case this was their last DA game, so that felt a bit rushed. But I loved it. To me it was a love letter, saying goodbye. Wrapping everything up in a nice little bow. I've always struggled to choose a favorite game in the DA series, they all do something I love so differently that I can't pinpoint one singular favorite, and I think this one is right up there for me, tied for 1st place with the other three games. Like DA2 and DAI I think it could've cooked just a little bit longer, there's a lot of potential for it to be a 9/10 game imho if they'd smoothed a couple of things out, but there's a lot in there for me to love.

Thank you so much for the question, I hope the wall of text will help you see a bit of the light haha. I don't mind that people didn't like it--that's just how it goes sometimes, and I think there are a lot of valid criticisms to be had. For me I was just super bummed that it was the only thing I was seeing online. I'm following lots of positivity now, so the occasional disenchantment is not a problem. Idk if it'll work for you, but @sweetmage was similarly disappointed until they streamed it with a friend, and then just having someone there to converse with it on really helped them to enjoy it. I hope you can find something to love in it, too!

[spockandawe]

Oh, this is interesting. To me. I'm not sure it's interesting to anyone else! But I'm on my computer for once and FULL of words again, and I'm delighted to talk to myself given half an excuse.

So, I made a post about Long Live Evil! Because I cracked open the book and was absolutely taken aback by how transparently it seemed to be an SVSSS reskin. I wrote up a goodreads thing (it's whatever, I'm going to rehash the main points here too), because I was also full of words and beans after finishing the book yesterday, and after polling online friends, I was surprised to see that the comparison didn't seem to have organically occurred to anyone else, when it was so naked to me. I know there’s a TON of transmigration and isekai stories out in the universe, and pointing at one single book was a big claim, so I just had to assemble all my thoughts! I find this so interesting! And I reblogged my initial one-off post with a little more elaboration about some of the things that jumped out at me, then got on with live and went back to chipping at ORV and GHG, and shotgunned MADK this afternoon.

This is a subtle nod and a wink to my passionate love for these kind of... morally grey main characters! Calling them villains might be a bit much, I don't think there are many true villain protagonists out there (LLE included), and even Devil Venerable has a demonic cultivator who's doing demonic shit and killing loads of people... but with the ultimate balance of the heavens and earth as his priority. This kind of story is my jam. I was recced this book on the basis of transmigration and sketchy protagonists being my thing. I can't rightfully call SVSSS the best cnovel I've ever read, but it is my favorite. And I've probably reread it more times than any other cnovel.

So, that SRB post, huh? I put Long Live Evil behind me, and honestly even following up on the sequel is mmmmmdoubtful, but THIS snagged my attention again. First, the comparisons she's calling out as incorrect are wild to me. Draco and Harry? What? Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian?? (I had to ponder that one for a hot minute, but I bet you anything it's about 'the golden cobra' and 'the last hope' and that's just silly, they're not wangxian, they're MOSHANG)

I was recced LLE in one friend group, but I had an anti-rec from my book club friend group. My book club friend hadn't been at all impressed by it! And she's cool, and I talk up svsss and mxtx to that crowd every so often, without really expecting them to read it. I talk about transmigration as a plot device that I love, and the things that can be done with it! But with that connection in mind between the books, as I started LLE, I was jokingly defending the honor of SVSSS to this crowd, so I admit I was primed to recognize similarities.

I really truly did not make it far in the book before locking it down. I was getting vibes basically from the moment Rae started gushing about her problematic fictional fave, I referenced 95% certainty shortly after she makes the jump to the fictional universe, the golden cobra was 98%, Lia Mingyan's, I mean Liu Mingyan's lack of sex scenes was 99%, and the first pov section for Marius-jun was where I gave up and called it as a sure thing.

It'll be very funny if I'm wrong! I don't think I'm wrong.

Plenty of spoilers to follow, because I identified this inspiration early, I guessed basically every plot twist early, I don't have the patience to dance around spoilers while explaining how it all lines up.

Now, I said this elsewhere, but it bears repeating: I don't think this is plagiarism. I think it's tasteless to accuse an author of stealing and repurposing characters to her face. But I think it's also tasteless to repurpose characters as nakedly as happened here! Again? If I'm wrong? That's why I'm talking to myself on my blog and not messaging her directly (?????? who even does that). What are the stakes for me being wrong here? I look like a clown online? That would be terrible, I've never done that before! It's not a crime to write in ways I find distasteful. It's not a crime to write a book I think is not good, even apart from the use of fictional influences. But I like talking about my feelings online, and I can't be stopped!

But there's two aspects of this that make me somewhat uncomfortable in a less fun way. Both are contingent on the big IF. If this is inspired by svsss, I think it's not a classy move to take a Chinese story in a Chinese setting, inspired by the modern Chinese literary scene and classical Chinese fantasy, and just dump the characters into a generic western setting. Fanfic? Have fun and try to be respectful. Profic, making money off it? Ehhhhh. The question of how much change is necessary is a tricky one! It's not one I'm equipped to answer, this is not my wheelhouse or my place to speak. But it doesn't make me feel good!

However, here's where I have more personal stake:

Again, if this is inspired by svsss. It really doesn't feel great to see a queer story (a smash hit in more than one country!) stripped down for parts and made into a heterosexual story. It's not all heterosexual, we get side lesbians, we get men with homoerotic tension. But the central ship is now a guy and a girl. And it... stings a little extra, because in the story of svsss, the idea of assumptions about default (hetero)sexuality are such a central theme. A queer man has written a trashy, oversexed stallion novel where the hottest guy in the universe collects the hottest women like pokemon, and it sells so much better than the more personal stories he tried to write. He has to write this pandering trash to make money to live, he can't live on the more authentic stories he tried to tell before. The protagonist is the projection of his own insecurities and self-hate, and the protagonist's right hand man is his projection of his own ideal man. Another man transmigrates into the book, assuming that he himself is straight, assuming the protagonist is straight, and the force of their love changes the course of the entire narrative. In retrospect, it's upsetting to see those load-bearing themes casually carved out of the story and the hollowed-out remains used like this.

Anyways, in their place, now we've got running gags about how the heroine's tits are BIGHUGE now and she can't keep her balance because her GIANT HONKERS keep tipping her over.

I'm a little more bothered than I was yesterday! On the other hand, since I saw SRB's post, I've been chewing on that central ship. Full disclosure, it was one of my favorite aspects of the novel! My other favorite aspect is the dynamic between the golden cobra and the last hope (the moshang, which I think some people misdiagnosed as wangxian).

I know that the central ship here is the thing that's LEAST comparable to svsss, and the biggest roadblock in the way of my theory. On the other hand, I think it was the thing that HAD to change if this story was going to repurpose svsss without getting called out for being a classic 'bro can i copy your homework' adventure.

For this section, let's assume that I'm right and let's roleplay an author trying to figure out how to change Bingqiu into something not-obviously-Bingqiu. How do we need to differentiate Rae and Key from Shen Qingqiu and Luo Binghe.

First, we eliminate the martial sect thing. Easy peasy! That's a wuxia concept, and this book goes full nondescript western fantasy. She's not his teacher, he's not her student. And if she's not his teacher and he's not her student, why does this woman have power over this man, to build up the resentment that inspires him to turn the tables on her later? Well, in nondescript western fantasy, she's a noblewoman of some kind, and he's a servant of some kind. Noble lady treats servant like garbage, servant resents her. Doing great.

And to loop back around to the beginning of this a little, I think it really is key to this reskinning that Rae is a SHE. If the central ship remained queer, it would be so, so hard to pull away from the most identifiable thematic aspects of svsss. And pieces of what remain are... kind of bizarre for a normie heterosexual ship where our protagonist is aware that she's transmigrated into an impossibly desirable sexpot character!

Shen Qingqiu never considers that Luo Binghe might be interested in him because Luo Binghe is about to have a HAREM of beautiful women, he's the most heterosexual man of all time, and Shen Qingqiu is straight too! Besides, Shen Qingqiu is his teacher! He half-raised Luo Binghe! Even if Luo Binghe was bent, he wouldn't be interested in an old man like Shen Qingqiu!

Rae is 20, occupying a 24-year-old body. Her character's sexiness is relentlessly remarked upon from start to finish. Key is 18. Why is Rae so sure that he looks up to her as... a mentor, as an older woman? He almost goes down on her! He makes out with her! And she's like 'ah yes, it means nothing. lol. so funny how these things happen.' Bruh, at least after Luo Binghe kissed Shen Qingqiu, Shen Qingqiu finally got hit with the clue stick. Binghe didn't try to blow him only for Shen Qingqiu to keep noodling on about how Binghe definitely isn't into him in any sense, even the most oblivious man in the universe managed to catch on.

Why doesn’t Rae think there’s any chance of genuine attraction here? Yeah, I get that she's coming back from terminal cancer. She's doing great. She knows that the fictional character she occupies is one of the most desirable ladies in the land. He’s a teenager. He’s not expressing disinterest. A lack of horny for sexy lady ought to be more surprising for her. But I guess she’s slightly older than him and that small age gap has been magnified by the transmigration, so she conceptualizes herself only as his teacher, I mean mentor.

I’m not even mad at this dynamic. I love their chemistry, the ‘boss’ thing is cute, but lordt, I have to wonder if it’s meant to substitute for ‘shizun.’ But you know where this comparison really falls apart? Key isn’t really THAT much Luo Binghe.

At least, he isn’t in terms of personality. I mean, we’ve got the mysterious magical heritage, the healing factor, the unbeatable fighting skills, being beaten repeatedly because of the protagonist (tbh it’s sexier when she’s responsible, rather than just being a bystander), being yeeted into the abyss, I mean the ravine, to rise again and assume power as the merciless ruler of all the land. Oh, and he comes back from the dead still bearing the scar that represents her betrayal. In the original novel, he turned on her the moment he got his opening and was responsible for coming up with her gruesome torment.

(Also, Shen Qingqiu being terminally ill isn’t canon, but it’s very popular fanon, and it’s hard to ignore that with how hard the narrative lingers over Rae’s terminal illness as her gateway into this fictional world)

But! But the things that are different! Luo Binghe is a smart and sweet teenager, who had a rough start on the streets and has a tragically deceased single adoptive parent, but that’s their only backstory parallel, he doesn’t blacken until he’s thrown into the abyss. Not like Key, Key is a murder-happy sociopath, a former street kid who fought the odds and made good, and who’s a lot sharper and cleverer than the upper classes think someone like him should be. He utterly destroyed a righteous cultivator clan, I mean glassblowing guild, for the sake of revenge. Once our heroine scores a number of trust points with him, we unlock secret backstory about how as a small child, he experienced deeply formative hand trauma.

He’s Xue Yang.

It took me a moment to process the wangxian allegations SRB mentions in her post, because I was trying to figure out how someone would be aware of wangxian, and read that backstory, and somehow miss it. But it’s fine, I’m pretty sure they were actually talking about the golden cobra and the last hope! So LET’S TALK MOSHANG.

It was so funny. I was liveblogging the book to friends, because honestly, I do not jive with the buffy-esque joss whedon relentless quip-quip-quip writing style. I was struggling to stay engaged when the narrative never took a moment to breathe. And I perked up at the introduction of this new character! He seemed kind of fun, kind of meta, Key came over to share Secret Info with him, and I messaged the friend who recced this to me (also an svsss appreciator) ‘lol, what if he’s shang qinghua. just straight from svsss shang qinghua.'

Reader, a second transmigrator has hit the narrative.

Now, in some ways, he’s a disappointment to me. He’s not nearly as interesting as Shang Qinghua. Adding the author to their own narrative is way more fascinating to me than just dropping a rando into the story. But I’ll take what I can get, I think multiple transmigrators are almost always a fun decision. And for the queer reasons I mentioned above, I think Shang Qinghua ties into the themes of his novel a lot more strongly than Eric does here. I don’t want to call him ‘the golden cobra’ every time, I get more self-conscious every time I write it. And honestly, the reveal of Eric’s full Eric Whatever name feels a little awkward and… pointed compared to the sheer opacity of Shang Qinghua’s existence. Never mind what his name was in the real world, we don’t even know his name before he was a Peak Lord. I’m not upset we got a name or anything, it would make certain fannish activities a lot easier if Shang Qinghua had additional canon names, but it was an interesting detail in light of how parallel the characters are.

Okay! He’s not the author! He’s still a super-fan. He transmigrated into the book years before the LLE main character, and has settled in pretty well. According to canon as Rae knows it, he’s fated to be killed by his own favorite character. He’s fast-thinking and fast-talking, and scattered and all over the place, but dangerous when cornered and more competent than he looks. He deals in information and manages a network of spies. He’s a creative! He and the main character banter relentlessly and get along like a house on fire. He and the king’s trusted ice-cold right hand man share a weird codependent dynamic that’s part hostile, part homoerotic.

Marius has complicated feelings about not-shang-qinghua. Eric is a coward, he’d rather talk fast and lie than stand up for anything, he cowers and cringes and isn’t honorable. He and Mobei-jun also shared a deeply formative experience in their youth, where as a teenager in distress, Eric/Shang Qinghua appeared before them and announced their devotion. In Shang Qinghua’s case, it was offering to serve him (and saving him from huan hua injuries), and in Eric’s case, it was declaring him to be his favorite character (and saving him from sad teenaged isolation), but man. And in the end, after a long, fraught relationship, Marius/Mobei-jun is furious and strangely distraught when Eric/Shang Qinghua abandons him.

Guys, it’s not wangxian.

I think it hits less hard when Marius’s themes of family violence aren’t allowed to sit directly in the narrative, and when it seems like some vague berserker rage thing rather than Linguang-jun just bluntly wanting to murder him for practical reasons, but hey! This was still, genuinely, one of my favorite parts of the story. I wanted more more more of them, I would read this moshang au any day.

After that, the parallels get a little more nebulous! The comparisons between the abyss and the ravine are pretty obvious. I’m not sure why we decided to build our city and palace right on top of the pit of people-eating ghouls rather than literally anywhere else, but it means we don’t need to take a special field trip to Jue Di Gorge, which means we can do the bait and switch where it turns out Key was a heavenly demon all along. The temperamental King Octavian, the young master of the palace, one might even say the xiao gongzhu if they were feeling spicy, jealously tries to romantically monopolize half our main ship and has the other half flogged with a magic whip.

I already mentioned that Rae brings up that Liu Mingyan — wait, I said I’d change some answers so it wasn’t obvious I copied — Lia doesn’t get a sex scene in the books even though loads of other people did, just like Shen Qingqiu praises Liu Mingyan for her untouchable image in such an oversexed, gratuitous book. I don’t think it would be right to call Liu Mingyan a white lotus heroine in either SVSSS or PIDW, but her archetype is in that wheelhouse, and Lia is just a white lotus rival played straight (and played deliberately, another touch I liked). We don’t have made up animals like black moon rhinoceros pythons in LLE, but we do have leucrotas, which are like a lion and a hyena and serve no narrative purpose.

Oh, you know what else I forgot to mention? Rae gives Key one of her red ruby earrings, and he refuses to sell it, and stubbornly holds onto it until the bitter end. Is this Xue Yang holding onto the last piece of candy Xiao Xingchen gave him, or is it Hua Cheng determinedly keeping Xie Lian’s red coral earring with him even through his own death? Por que no los dos?

There are things that are original in here. I know that this presentation undersells how much of the book is original. The trouble is, almost everything I thought was good is something that either was lifted from another person’s creative endeavors, or is being tainted by association with all the other naked lifts. Some of the noble ladies have an archery contest! That’s pretty new and fresh, huh? We didn’t have any archery contests in SVSSS!

Yeah, but we sure did in MDZS. And MDZS is already in play, because we’ve already got one character who’s just copy and paste Xue Yang.

There’s a thermocline of trust in this book that fell off for me sharply, and it turned a lot of this into a guessing game of ‘wait NOW what the refrance? owo'

I’m probably on a hair trigger by now, but I’ve also probably missed some things. And I’m sure this is a synthesis of multiple influences, because most stories are. But this feels like cooking and trying to season your dish with a little salt and then the container lid just falls off.

Emer isn’t a clear parallel to an existing character! Love that for her! Love a lady with an axe, especially if she gets a nice girlfriend! On the other hand, in terms of backstory? Wow, she’s been raised with our protagonist since early childhood, as not-quite-foster-siblings, but she was always the clear unfavorite and harbors a lot of resentment over that. Oh, and once Rae entered the story, Rae started trying to speedrun an enemies to 'hello hiiii we should bestiessss' arc with her. I think she had to have an axe, because a whip or a sword would make the Jiang Cheng and/or Liu Qingge vibes a little uncomfortably strong. She doesn’t follow their character arcs! But the disappointing thing is that it felt like she was just there to facilitate pasting the frankenstein patchwork of the narrative together rather than having an arc of her own.

(why did Marius stop to give her a sword lesson? Why did she immediately sneak onto the roof to eavesdrop on the king?? It’s hard to give her credit for being an original character when none of her original actions make sense in the greater universe)

Oh, I almost forgot, we’ve even got magic plot macguffin plants. While Binghe is in the abyss, Shen Qingqiu needs to get the Sun And Moon Dew Flower Seed so he can build an escape hatch for himself before Binghe wrecks his shit. Rae, on the other hand, needs to secure the Flower of Life and Death by an arbitrary deadline as an escape hatch so she can go back to her original life rather than being trapped here forever. Very different! There’s even little side tangents about how these plants can be so beneficial to others, Zhuzhi-lang is desperately trying to secure a seed to build a new body for Tianlang-jun (which Shen Qingqiu enables him to do, despite not knowing what he wants it for), and Rae thinks about how the flower could “save someone on the very doorstep of death,” and gives it away for that exact purpose. So different!

I need to cut myself off, otherwise I’ll keep going. Truly, there is original content in here. It was just all the stuff I didn’t like. The character quipping was. God. There sure was a lot of it! By sheer volume, that’s a lot of original content. Some of the extended cast was interesting, I enjoyed the Horrors and their brothers, I liked Valencia. Now, I didn’t like how basically every girl ADULT WOMAN in this cast was in shitty teen mean girl mode. I didn’t like how immature every character interaction period was. I lost track of how many times Rae was going around in sexy clothes and rando servants were like “HARLOT,” out loud about a favored noblewoman, you know, as you do. Especially when her bodyguard is pulling against his choke chain just waiting for an excuse to do a murder. I don’t need Rae to be the picture of flawless maturity. But nobody is mature, full stop, not even the set dressing servants.

For a less loaded example, the cumplane friendship dynamic is here, practically intact. Shen Qingqiu can't snipe about authorial choices, because Eric isn't the author, so instead Rae and Eric squabble about favorite scenes and favorite ships and such. But it isn't nearly as charming when we don't see these two characters dropping their dignified Peak Lord cultivator roleplay to talk shit with each other. Rae and Eric never have a filter once in this book. They are always Like This, it isn't a secret face that gets unlocked when they're bouncing off each other, they are never circumspect, never have a filter, never have any idea they shouldn't be speaking their full thoughts at full volume 24/7. Even after this starts to have material consequences when they're inevitably overheard! It's an immersion-breaking level of immaturity, which is terribly frustrating when the original dynamic that I loved is only changed in such minor ways.

And another thing that actually tastes way more sour than it did on first reading – Valencia is probably the least mean girl of all the women in the cast. She’s delightful. Too bad that in every scene but her last one, Rae, who repeatedly references her own experiences having her body and appearance ravaged by cancer, cannot for love or money stop talking about how uggo Valencia is.

I know this is an adult novel. The characters are, by age, adults. There’s almost an oral scene. God, I wish we’d gotten the oral scene. But by every other metric, the characters are all high schoolers and I’m an exhausted adult muttering to myself ‘they’ll grow out of it, please GOD let them grow out of it.’

Again, none of this is a crime! Nobody forced me to finish the book! And I did enjoy the book. Parts of it! But that very distinct partial enjoyment experience almost forced me to dissect my own emotional response. And truly, other than a few flashes like Valencia, almost everything I enjoyed about the book was something I could trace directly back to one author, and mostly to one book by that one author. I… enjoyed half of the book. And if I can track most of that half back to mxtx and svsss, I really think that says something about how much wasn’t done to make the inspiration behind this book the author’s own.

It's disappointing! I read this book because I like svsss, I read it because I want more books like svsss, I read it because I trawl the novelupdates tags looking for more books that will hit me the way svsss did. It doesn’t taste good to be served reheated svsss with expired buffy sauce drizzled on top. It tastes even less good once I have a minute to think about what turning an m/m meditation on sexuality and self-image and assumptions about others into a m/f snooze does to the themes I loved so much. It stings to see an author rehash a book that was/is so important to me, and see what they kept and what they threw out, and be like ‘oh, so… these were the elements that mattered to you?’

Again, I hate to be redundant with this, but. I think calling this book plagiarism would be overdoing it. I think it’s tasteless. I don’t think being tasteless is a crime. It remains wild to me that she’s getting messages calling out her supposed inspiration, even if I’m simultaneously criticizing the judgment of the people making those specific comparisons. And I ABSOLUTELY understand why she’s reluctant to own up to the specific inspirations behind this book, because good lord. If it was me, I’d be professionally embarrassed too.

It’s not my job to be the book quality police, but I think someone as experienced as this should be able to do a better job of synthesizing inspirations into something original. I dropped ‘can’t afford to offend my scheming disciple’ earlier this year, because that narrative couldn’t shake the taste of stale svsss fanfic, and it was much more subtle than this is. Once again, if I’m wrong, this post will be retroactively VERY funny and I’ll be all ears to see what her inspirations actually were. I don’t think I’m wrong.

[dwobbitfromtheshire]

Steve knew how to stitch, and he knew how to sew. They were all skills his grandparents had taught him. His paternal grandfather, the doctor, his maternal grandmother, the seamstress. Eddie was currently lying in the hospital, moping about his scars. He was no longer wanted for murder but he was still in pain and scarred for life. Steve wanted to cheer him up, so he got him a teddy bear, but it needed something else. He decided to look for clothes for the bear, and he ended up in the children's section where he found a denim jacket along with a white shirt. He managed to find something to use as devil horns. When he got home, he got to work stitching the horns onto the bear and cut the sleeves off of the jacket.

The next day, his last day off, he went straight to the hospital carrying the bear. Shit, should he have gotten him flowers? Do guys get flowers for other guys? Steve spotted one of Eddie's nurses, the one who always gave Eddie the stink eye and talked nasty about him when she thought he was asleep. She was gushing about the flowers her boyfriend had just gotten for her. Steve waited until she left with her friend. He swooped in and took a flower from the bouquet, hiding it behind his back before hurrying off to Eddie's room. He was alone watching Scooby-Doo and singing along with the theme song.

"You know we got a mystery to solve, so, Scooby Doo, be ready for your act. Don't hold back and, Scooby Doo, if you come through, you're gonna have yourself a Scooby Snack. That's a fact," Eddie sang loudly and purposely off key, grinning excitedly at the screen.

Steve grinned fondly from the door. Dear god, this man was cute.

"Hey, Eddie," Steve greeted.

"Stevie!" Eddie exclaimed. "Whatcha got there?"

"It's Teddy Munson!" Steve said, whipping out the bear.

Eddie gasped, making grabby hands for the bear. Steve handed it over.

"Where the hell did you find this?" Eddie asked.

"I found the bear, but I added the other stuff. I cut up a baby's jacket and stitched on the devil horns," Steve shrugged.

"You made this. . .for me?" Eddie asked softly, his eyes wide as he clutched the bear to his chest. "Why?"

"Because you've been kind of mopey being stuck in here, and I thought you could use some cheering up. And I . . . I like you," Steve said.

"You like me?"

"Yes."

"You like me?"

"Yes!" Steve exclaimed and presented the flower to him.

"That tells me nothing!" Eddie exclaimed.

"I stole it from the nurse that's been giving you a hard a hard time," Steve said.

"You stole this from the Mistress of Evil?" Eddie asked, smirking. "Oh, you like like me!"

"Yes!" Steve blushed.

"Come here!" Eddie demanded.

"Why?"

"So I can eat your face," Eddie replied.

Steve laughed but let Eddie pull him in for a kiss. Steve pulled away and leaned his forehead against his.

"You are so cute," Steve said.

"Not as cute as you. Do you want to watch Scooby-Doo with me?" Eddie asked and pulled back the covers.

"I'm not sure I can fit," Steve said.

"I think you can, big boy," Eddie replied.

Steve snorted before gently crawling into bed beside Eddie, who carefully settled against him. Eddie hugged the bear tightly against his chest.

"Sorry, I didn't think to look for pins for his vest," Steve replied.

"Baby, you made me a bear with horns. It's more than perfect. Besides, I've got the perfect pins for our little guy," Eddie cooed.

It wasn't long before Eddie was nodding off in Steve's arms, and before long, Steve was asleep as well with the bear nestled between them.

[changbinsboobs]

Changbin as husband is next I'm curious for his and hyunjinss

This is the longest fucking reading I've ever had so i just HAD to split it in 2 parts so bear with me. I love him but i hate him right now😩 (no i don't)

Husband Series: Changbin pt. 1

Ugh...that guy🫠 i bet you if i let him use up my whole deck he would. The amount of "ok last card" i had to say...and yet there was still so much gushing put...and ugh, i just can't stress enough how much into details he is and how much he wants to stress on them and make sure they don't go unnoticed or get misunderstood or overlooked. Reminds me so much of my audhd friend😭. Anyways back on track - tho i don't even know where to begin from, i really think he used up half my deck. I just counted 23 cards😳 i do indeed draw a lot for the others too but thats just next level. Not on topic but i think he's a really chatty drunk😂 now i wanna read on them when drunk🙌🏻😂

Ok soooo since i have so many cards ill try to combine them as much as i can and keep the messages as concise as possible so this post doesn't become a novel - the overall energy i noticed here is not so much emphasis on him as a husband but overall him as a partner in a committed relationship. Which leads me to believe he himself doesn't view marriage with such dread as the others did (there wasn't really any dread with felix bust still a certain anxiety around responsibilities, meanwhile that with changbin is absolutely nonexistent). I would say he seems himself as capable and even ready to take on that responsibility and role if the opportunity presents itself and i think he believes he'll do a good job. He's responsible, capable and can take care of it. I actually sense a feeling of pride in him about that.

Another MAJOR theme is him being a "simp" for his partner (he insists on wife). There are many cards that im trying to sum up:

He's very protective over her and doesn't let anyone say shit about her, he's giving me guard dog vibes. Also a big bodyguardy. I can see him when being out with her eyeing people and being on alert and just idk, looking scary as to scare of any weirdos before they even think about trying something. And to clear any misunderstandings up, im really not getting this coming from jealousy (not that its not there, it is😂, but its just 10% reason, out of 100), but rather because he wants the woman he loves to feel safe and protected around him. He wants her to be able to relax and trust that he will always have her back and keep her safe. He wants her pretty little witty head not to be bothered by ANYTHING!

More from the simpy train - looks up to her a lot and kinda puts her a bit on a pedestal. This is not a very debilitating energy but feels rather like something he has made peace with and accepts - which is that she is indeed better than him and he can never be able to reach her, which means he is incredibly lucky and appreciative of the fact a woman like that has chosen him and he tries whatever he can to live up to her standard and continue to give her reasons to stay with him and continue to love him. Although she can never love him as much as he does (thats his thought🥲). But as i said this doesn't feel victimy to me at all but rather just seems realistic to him and he's a big boy and can accept reality for what it is and choose to feel lucky instead of beating himself up for not being good enough and self sabotage. Im actually really shocked looking at his energy because i can really feel the strength of his mind and ughh just how innovative and flexible he is. His will is just astounding and making me really happy, despite him obviously having some issues he doesn't let himself be defined by it and chooses to spin them to him favor. What an amazing guy💗

Back to the reading - so he spends a lot of time in his head, doing A LOT of 2 things. One is being thinking of his girl and what he can do to make her happy, analyzing previous conversations to see if he missed something or if he has remembered everything. Contemplating if she maybe gave him a hint about something, or if she maybe looked hesitant with something. Maybe her body language was off? He notes that. If there was any difference in her behaviour today, if she looked different. He's really putting LOTS of energy thinking about her and analyzing her and her behaviour. Again this doesn't seem to come from distrust (although he thinks of that as well, its just not his motivator, he just considers everything, thats why) but rather for his own feeling of safety. I think he is a very thoughtful and analyzing and sensitive person in nature so this may be something he always does, except when its something very important to him, and a relationship at that - he does it even more intensely. He doesn't only think about and analyze her tho. He does that to him too, to their relationship as well. He just wants to have a good understanding and overview of everything that is happening in the relationship so he has a sense of control and safety. You can always fix something if you know its broken. Or beginning to bend. You can fix the problem before the branch brakes i think is what he wants to say. And he wants things to run as smoothly as possible with them, and once again he has taken on the responsibility to make his girls life as easy and carefree as possible and how can that happen if he leaves the whole relationship in her hands?! He can't, so he doesn't his part very diligently and tries to keep up on the same level as her, emotional-intelligence-wise.

He also doesn't to just thinking but planing & organizing. So i think he takes lots of care for other stuff too like planing and booking fun dates. If he cant attend then books fun stuff for her. Provide her with the needed tools/means for her to be able to create, to indulge in her hobbies. He really loves that feminine creator energy and really wants to do his best to encourage and provide an encouraging environment for his wife to get in her feminine creator energy and bring him joy with it. Also thats really random but he's always ready and loves giving her massages😂💗(after her long day of crafting). He just loves hearing about it, seeing the excitement in her voice and face. It charges him.

He also spends lots of time fantasizing about her. Reminiscing wonderful dates, imagining potential future ones, creating scenarios etc. He's just A LOT in his head, his mind is really really active, and its very occupied with his love. Also another random message, commitment and love are tied with him somehow. Im seeing he cant commit if he doesn't love but he also cant love if he can't commit. So i would say he's very extreme-y. Like he's either all in or all out. No middle ground. What i mean is he HAS to be this intense in a relationship because for him thats commitment, THATS expressing love. And if he's not able to do that, then his love and interest and enthusiasm begin to fade away. He HAS to be able to be like that in a relationship and i think often he has been labeled (or was) just WAYYY TOO MUCH for the girls he has been in a relationship with. Im seeing he can get very overwhelming and overbearing if the person he's with just isn't the person to enjoy that kind of commitment and effort. But to go back to the cards, he also fantasizes about physical stuff too, for example he's riding in the car, and for the whole ride he's imagining and giggling and wiggling his feet and twirling his hairs because he plays over and over how that one time while they were still just dating she looked him in the eyes with that wet sexy look, and how his whole body got shivers and his stomach dropped and his heart skipped and his palms got sweaty and he swears some saliva started dripping out the corner of his mouth and his knees got weak and he almost felt like he was gonna black out and by the time he came back to his senses she was already sooo close to his lips and them BAM. Fireworks everywhere. He can never forget how that wonderful kiss felt and how sweet the sexual tension and anticipation before it was. He plays stuff like that OVER AND OVER again the whole damn day.

While being on physical stuff, he is pretty horny ill say. But not in a bunny way,m where he wants to fuck 5 times a day, but rather when around his girl he's always half way up, always ready to rise for the occasion iykwim. I think he gets *excited*👀 very easily and is just really weak when it comes to his girl. He's always ready to deliver whenever she ask, whatever she asks. Als im seeing once again he's a giver (and despite him loving head so much) he's focused on her pleasure and he can off just from watching her enjoy...whatever it is. So yeah thats that😂

Bro im so tired im thinking about doing this in 2 parts😭 im just halfway. Ok yk what im splitting it.

[cigarettecemetary]

Do I Wanna Know? - Matt Sturniolo

Pairing: Dealer!Matt x Bambi!Reader

Summary: Your friends and boyfriend want to go to a party, you’re not really a party person but they manage to convince you. After you witness something you rush out the room running into none other than Matthew Sturniolo. As time goes on you and Matt start to talk more, forming a very complicated relationship.

Warnings: MDNI, angst, cheating, drug use, tension.

A/N: this is my first series please try to bear with me on this one! i hope you enjoy!🤍 With love and cigarette smoke, Moxxie<3

I ran around downstairs in a slight frenzy, dashing past my best friends. I ran up the stairs to my bedroom and looked around hurriedly, as time was wearing thin. I looked around, scattering things around my vanity desk and rummaging through my drawers.

"Hey Y/N, do you know-... Why are you still in your boxers?" Mikka asked, poking her head in.

"S-sorry, I'm just looking for everything I need..." I mumbled, glancing down at my matching bones and skeleton bra and boxer set. Shit I need to get dressed soon.

Today was going to be the first party I've gone too in a long while. The last one was years ago and I sure didn't enjoy it. I wasn't really a party person to begin with, but my friends and boyfriend really wanted to go. You see, my friends are associated with the frat brothers and my boyfriend Thomas... well... he is a frat boy. When I was much younger, I'd always promised to stay away from them, but here I am. Dating a frat boy. And going to a frat party. 17 year old me would be disappointed.

I sat down at my vanity, starting on my makeup for the party. I didn't wanna go all out and seem like... I dunno. I just wanted to try and fit in. It wasn't always easy, being the sorta chubby one in my friend group. 'S why I always tried to avoid dresses, and things that were tight on me. I guess with getting older, I let myself go a bit more, more reckless almost.

I applied my usual puppy eyeliner, slowly guiding the pen along my eyelash line as I let the powder on my face set. I looked at the clock. Not much time left. I hurried along with my makeup.

“Y/N are you almost ready? The uber will be here in about ten minutes!” My friend called out from my bathroom.

“Almost!” I called back from my vanity in the corner of my room as I applied the last bit of lip gloss on.

Everyone was super excited for this frat party going on. I wasn’t a party person but they managed to convince me. I fixed my hair up in a big black bow and rushed over to my closet to search for a dress.

“Paula, which dress should I wear?” I asked my friend who was in the bathroom, holding up a skin tight black dress and a red one. Paula pursed her lips before pointing her makeup brush at the red one.

“That one is perfect, especially with the leg slit. Wear your black heels to match.” She said leaning back towards the mirror, applying highlighter to her cheek bones.

I walked over to the mirror on the inside of my closet door and slid the dress on, fixing any wrinkles. I inspected how it fit on my body for a moment hesitant about it as Mikka bounced into the room.

“Oh my! Y/N, you look beautiful!” She gushed rushing over to me. I smiled slightly looking back at my reflection.

“Are you sure? Does it show my stomach too much?” I asked her. I usually didn’t wear dresses like this, i preferred ones that hid my stomach a bit better. Mikka huffed.

“Yes I’m sure! You’re stunning. Now get your shoes on and let’s go!” She called to Paula as well as she bounced out the room and back downstairs. I quickly slid my heels on and walked downstairs with Paula. Thomas glanced at me and smiled, wrapping his arm around my shoulders giving me a quick kiss.

“You look beautiful baby.” he said. I smiled, blushing.

“Thank you, love.” I responded as we all piled into the back of the uber. As we arrived at the party I held onto Thomas following behind Paula and Mikka.

“Hey girl! How have you been?” Mikka squealed as we made our way to some of our other friends. I stood with them as Thomas excused himself. I paid it no mind, he always ran off with his friends at parties like this.

“C’mon Y/N! Let’s have a shot!” Paula said handing me one. I hesitantly took it. “Cheers!”

I downed the shot with her, feeling the slight burn hit my throat. I haven’t had a shot in a while. I cringed after taking it, setting the glass down. As I felt my nerves relax Paula and Mikka dragged me to the dance floor. I let out a giggle, swaying my hips to the music.

“Get it Y/N, yes girl!” Paula cheered as I danced to the music. After a few minutes I looked around for Thomas.

“Hey guys, I’m gonna go look for Thomas really quick.” I said to the pair, who nodded. I excused myself and made my way around some drunk and high people before my eyes set on Thomas, sitting on a couch. I made my way through more people, who hid my view of him.

“Hey Thom-“ I cut myself off seeing a chick on his lap, their mouths intertwined in a sloppy kiss, his hands on her hips. I felt time stop. I felt my eyes begin to water at the sight and I turned around and quickly made my way back through the crowd, looking for a bathroom.

As I made my way upstairs I rushed into the closest bathroom, shutting the door. I approached the sink, bracing my hands against it taking a breath.

What did I just witness? Was Thomas really cheating on me right now?

I took a deep breath and walked out the bathroom looking for Paula. I turned, bumping into a tall man in front of me. I gasped slightly.

“Shit! I-I’m so sorry!” I muttered quickly looking up and pausing.

The man turned towards me, his icy blue eyes piercing into mine. I quickly took in his appearance, his left arm covered in tattoos, his ear piercings rocking back and forth. A joint sat comfortably between his fingers.

“S’okay sweetheart. Say, you don’t seem like the partying typa girl. Y’here with someone?” He asked, his deep voice filling my ears. I nodded.

“With my boyfriend and some friends.” I whispered. Something about his presence made me nervous but also almost comfortable.

“Interesting. What’s your name sweetheart?” He asked, looking down and me and leaning in slightly.

“Y/N. What’s yours?” I asked curiously. I noticed as his brows furrowed.

“Y/N you say? Yeah, I’ve heard about you from one of my customers. Thomas I think. I’m Matthew, but you can call me Matt.” He said, leaning back and taking a drag from his joint. I felt my eyes widen. So this was who Thomas got all his drugs and stuff from?

“You know Thomas?” I asked. I cringed internally at my question. No kidding he did, he just said so.

Matt chuckled. “Indeed I do. We talk every now and then.” He inspected me for a moment before speaking again. “You don’t seem like a Y/N. You have an almost.. How do I say, Bambi appearance. Yeah s’what m’gonna call you.”

I felt my cheeks flush slightly. “Bambi?” I asked. He smiles and nodded, leaning in.

“I’ll see ya around, won’t I Bambi?” He asked. I nodded, looking away. I heard him chuckle as he walked away. I blushed, and rushes to find Paula. I saw her and Mikka with Thomas. I felt my anger returning.

“Hey gorgeous. Ready to go?” He asked, trying to put his arm around me. I scooted away from him. I watched as his brows furrowed.

“Yeah m’ready.” I muttered, walking outside and into the uber. Thomas nestled next to me.

“Y/N, whats wrong?” He asked. I scoffed.

“I saw you with that girl on the couch Thomas.” I said bitterly. I felt my anger bubbling when he released a sigh of relief.

“Y/N that was you silly.” He said. I turned to him shocked. He thought that girl was me? We looked nothing alike.

“I think you had too much to drink.” I muttered looking out the window. As I looked outside I couldn’t get the thought of Matt out of my head. I shook my head, trying to snap myself out of it.

I wonder when I would see him again. I glanced down at my phone and saw a text from an unknown number. I was about to ignore it before I saw the text.

“Hey there Bambi.”

A/N: Dealer!Matt’s been introduced! next chaper i might have more Matt in there where they hang out or happen to run into each other while hes making his runs. i hope you enjoyed!🫶🏽

[mvrkieboo]

Old Bloodhounds

P3 | catch me outside, how bout that!?

Your eyes met Mark's for a split second before he broke eye contact. Mark and you go way back, but shit happened and…and you remember him telling you that you were dead to him. As the queue shortened, one of Mark's friends practically bounced up and down when she got to the counter. Mark lingered behind his friend group, doing his obvious best to ignore your presence and make it seem like you were never really there in front of him.

“Oh my god, AERI! I've always wanted to meet you! I'm Ningning, and I'm from the MPA Faculty.”

“I'm honored! God, you're really pretty—and you're talented too. Wanna take a pic of just the both of us? The rest of you guys can have y/n take your orders first.” Aeri was practically gushing. She always had a soft spot for attractive people.

You watched as she and the girl go over to the back for a quick photo session.

You waved at the rest of the group, albeit a little awkwardly since Mark was a part of them. You picked up a cup and a sharpie, indicating you were ready to take their orders. The pretty girl with short brown hair ordered first.

“I'll have a hot latte with oat milk.”

“Iced americano with less sugar, please. Thank you. ”

“I’ll have a hot mocha with regular milk. You're really cute. Can you also throw in your number?” The guy got two blows at the back of his head while Mark sighed deeply at his annoying ass friend. You grinned awkwardly, trying to act like his friend didn't just hit on you.

Then your eyes met Mark's again.

“Uh, can I get…” When it was Mark's turn to order, his head kinda blanked, and all of his friend group—and you—were looking at him right now. Putting him on the spot.

Shit.

“We actually have tea here. Do you still take it the way you did back in high school?” You asked carefully, knowing that speaking to him so casually would tick him off but he was holding up the line, and his friend that took a picture with Aeri had already returned.

“...yeah. I'll just have that then.”

Mark could see Haechan's eyebrows shot up, while Winter and Chenle just side-eyed him. Mark usually thanks his servers—always. They waited for the thanks to come out, but it never did—and he's even looking to the ground instead of facing you, jaw taut and fists closed. He looked genuinely pissed, for some inconceivable reason. All of his friends looked between you and him, bewildered.

What was his beef with you?

“Okayyyy, whatever that was…Um, can I have a hot latte with regular milk? And if Aeri can also make the latte art for it…” Ningning giggled, glancing at Aeri shyly from under her lashes.

“Sure thing! But no promises though, I kinda suck at it.” Aeri grinned and wrote down Ningning’s name on the cup.

That kinda brought down the tension between you and Mark, thankfully. You let out a deep sigh as you worked on their orders, going to the station and working beside Yangyang. He eyed you up and down before stealing a glance at Mark. You felt his lips near your ears as he whispered.

“Was the breakup that messy? Did you cheat on him with his worst enemy or something?”

You rolled your eyes to the side at his question.

“He’s not my ex, you nosy shit. Get back to work.”

Considering all of you were getting the hang of it, it didn't take up to 10 minutes to finish their orders. You gave them their drinks one by one as Yangs cleaned the station. You were about to hand off Mark's iced sweet tea when Yangyang stumbled and hit you from behind, causing the drink to splash against Mark's jacket. You gasped at the accident.

“Oh, no.” Yangyang muttered from behind you—but suspiciously, he didn't sound too remorseful.

Chenle was glaring daggers at the captain of NCU’s soccer team. Mark was brushing away the cold tea off of his jacket with a frustrated sigh.

“Damn it, this jacket can only be dry-cleaned.” Mark hissed, regretting buying a high maintenance jacket as a broke student.

“Oh my god, we're so sorry. We'll refund you and take it to the dry cleaners ourselves. We'll pay for it too.” Aeri bowed apprehensively.

Mark looked like he was about to reject the offer, but Chenle gripped his shoulder and started to take the jacket off of him.

“Just go with it, Mark. It's the least they can do for you.” Chenle huffed out, glaring at Yangyang who continued to clean their work station with a small smirk on his face.

You seriously wanted to recreate The Simpsons scene of Homer choking Bart right fucking now. You're Homer Simpson and Yangyang is Bart.

Chenle shoved the jacket into your hands and the rest of his group left, with Ningning looking a little upset that her moment with Aeri now ruined. You tilted your face up to the sky and sighed deeply, thanking god that the coffee was about to sell out anyway, even if you did plan to bring the leftovers home. Then you dropped your head to look at the tea scented jacket you were holding.

Fucking Yangyang.

prev | masterlist | next

A/N : why is this story kinda gaining traction *twirls hair*...omg do you guys like me or something ahhhhhh that's so embarrassing hihihihihih

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

• taglist • [OPEN]

@spiderm444rk @morkiee @xiuriii @solvrse @mystverse @bee-the-loser

[kgymstlle]

just saying

post college au / suna rintarou x fem! reader

— you should leave him cause it really makes me sick!



"i just washed that." suna says as you cry on his living room pillow. you continue to do so though, and upon pulling back, the pillow had stains of mascara where your eyes had been seconds ago.

"sorry." you apologize, rubbing the fabric with the sleeve of your sweater. "you do realize you're making it worse, right?"

you immediately stop. "i'm sorr—"

"apologize one more time and i'll kick your ass out of my apartment." he cuts you off. sure it was harsh, but suna has always been this way. it was all in good faith though— he cares about you a lot, really, but being all soft and using a gentle tone wasn't exactly something he was good at, even if he tried really hard to. tough love, if you will.

feeling suna's piercing gaze, you bring your eyes to meet his. "what did he do this time?"

"he broke up with me." for the nth time, suna thought.

tears voluntarily rolled down your face yet again, and all you heard in response from the boy was a sigh. he wanted to say i told you so— you're better off without him. and with me instead...? shit. he's still inlove with you.

but he's your best friend. exactly. therefore he knows you better, and he'll treat you better. it makes him sick. he thinks you should leave your no-good-(ex)boyfriend for good, and not get back together within a week of calling it quits like the continuous, year long cycle you're stuck in.

"we fought. we were on a date, but he made me pay...said he forgot his wallet at home. he also arrived pretty late."

a total loser, suna thought. you were already struggling to earn a living and despite being aware of this he's still squeezing every penny you have left. that bastard barely takes you out too— come on, the flag is practically waving crimson. i would never do that to you though, the boy thought as he stared at your distraught state.

you paused for a while. "he texted me an hour before i got here. he says that he still loves me." bullshit. suna thought. he knows that son of a bitch is cheating on you. that man knows how to fabricate his words, lying to you since the very beginning. when you gushed about your ex's big house and how he lives all alone, it was quickly debunked when suna drove by that said house by chance... and saw a woman through the window which he later found out was the jerk's mother. he never told you that though, to save you from the embarrassment.

"you don't need him, y/n."

surprised by his words, you tilt your head. "wow. i know you mean well rinrin, but...wow."

exactly. i mean well. i'll also help you get over it— wait, is this still right? the boy shook his head. keep it together, rintarou.

"just saying." he muttered in response, eyeing your next move. you roll your eyes. "anyway, i think i've come to the realization that i've overreacted quite a bit— he did have a very tiring day... and i was so pushy that it probably irritated him."

for the love of god you need to stop blaming yourself for every inconvenient thing that happens. you stand up and wipe your now dry face with your sleeve to remove the smudged makeup. this is the part where suna sighs, he knows you're going to fall right back into your ex's trap.

you fix your composure and hug suna.

"thanks, rinrin. for always putting up with me and my problems." for you? always. he thought. with a few taps on your phone, you slip it into your pocket and head to the door. he already knows what you're about to do.

"when you change your mind, i'll be waiting." you hear him behind you, still seated in the living room couch. you nod at him and smile. "mhm. thanks rinrin, i owe you one."

when you shut the door, suna puts his hand on his forehead and sighs. "i'll be waiting." he repeats. cause after all, he's better than your ex will ever be.....just saying.

[theshinazugawaslut]

can you maybe… do sanemi with a wifey with small tits and a big ass? i know it seems random but i’m curious to see how you’ll write it! /nf

a/n: thank you for sending this! i was not very sure about what you wanted other than small tits and a big ass so that's what I gave — let me introduce sanemi being a lewd bastard, ogling you and trying to control himself, he's also kind of pathetic because when is he not? anyway, here's sanemi being weird. also, for reference, i'm big-chested and with a big ass so it might not be the best? but then again, i've never had sex and i write this shit.

You're pretty — always so pretty that it hurts.

He'd do anything for you to keep looking into his eyes; anything for your shimmering, sweet eyes to stay on his. Even when he's making love to you, little groans of your name leaving his kiss-swollen lips, he's kept a large, broad hand cupping the back of your head, fingers tangling into your hair as he keeps your head down so he can see your eyes.

Others might find it strange but he likes watching your eyes, when they roll back into your head as he keeps his hands on your hips to sink him back down onto his length as he sits up in the futon as he swallows your mouth with desperate, wet kisses.

He loves your lips, too, loves it when you open your mouth and let him prod around, even if you find it rather peculiar. He loves your mouth, all bite and sweet and his. Sometimes he likes looming over you just to press a thick finger into your mouth, feeling over your enamel and gums, sometimes pinching your tongue between two fingers just to hear the pretty choke sound you make. Your jaw remains slack though, allowing his fingers to fuck your throat, feel the inside of your soft and chubby cheeks.

"Swallow," he'll say, voice rasping and eyes becoming hazy as he sees the amount of spit gathering in your mouth, saliva begin to drool down your chin.

He'll watch, mesmerised, as your mouth closes around three of his fingers and your throat bobs, momentarily tightening around his knuckles and nails before you open you mouth again. Your pink tongue flattening as he places the pad of his index finger against it, feeling the warm, wet muscles slowly lick across it.

He was filthy for your smell, too — it made him drool like a bitch in heat, and he was always moaning against your hair as he rained kisses like rhinestone eyes across your hairline as he breathed in the scent. His rough hands holding onto your hips, blunt fingernails pressing into your plump skin as he pressed his nose against that precious crook between neck and shoulder, peppering kisses slowly down your arms, your waist, till his nostrils flare till when he reaches your drooling cunt.

"My darling girl," he'll coo, nudging his cheek against your inner thigh. "Pretty, pretty, pretty," he almost sings like a child, placing feverish kisses against your pudgy folds, sucking like a lunatic at your puffy clit till you come all over his face, and he loves being soaked in your honeyed essence, still muttering mean little praises against your cunt.

He'll gasp loudly as his face is covered in the smell of your gushing pussy, moaning like a whore for you as it drips down his chin and sharp jaw, smeared across his lips lewdly, even dripping from his hair, just for him to bury his face against your slit once more, teething against your sex, smacking his jaw against your juiced-up clit, swishing his head side-to-side as if he were a hyena ripping flesh from bone, letting out drawn-out moans and whines.

"You're doing so well, so fuckin' well, baby," he'll moan one day as he keeps his bulging arms wrapped around your neck, squeezing till you see stars as he drags his cock in and out of you on your shared futon.

This is when he likes your voice the most, when you're all strangled whimpers and silent screams as he fucks the air right out of you. "Uh-huh? You want it like this, don't ya? That's right, atta girl, take my cock, take that fat fucking cock."

His grin is lopsided against your neck as he bites hard into the supple flesh but he smacks your cheek lightly as he almost violently thrusts into your spasming cunt, watching how your mind turns to dumb cotton. "Oi, stay with me, 'm bouta cum." But he'll kiss your glittering skin like gold. "Fuckin' bitch... Got me actin' like an animal, love you so damn much."

Though as soon as you cum, he'll be gathering you in his arms, littering kisses across your face and when you reach up to touch his hot skin, he'll grab your hand, kiss each fingertip like god-given twilight.

"My love, my love," he whispers against your forehead, kissing the arch of your brow sweetly, both of you sweaty and sticky, and you're just oozing with his seed. "My sweet girl, are you alright?" His lilac eyes worriedly look at your neck, a little red forming from where he had choked you a little but as you nod, giving him a weak but content smile, he beams right back. "That's my girl..."

"You're happy...?" you'll ask in your sweet, shy voice. He'll grin, and say he's the happiest man in the world.

He loves all of you, if that wasn't obvious, loves all the sweet parts of you. Loves how you stroke the silvery, jagged scars on his chest; loves how you watch random children with tender, soft eyes, and he decides to stuff you again in hope you'll carry his child and he can kiss your plump stomach one day; loves how you forget to take your sword or your shoes with you for missions; loves how you glower at younger slayers for lacking ambition or soul; loves how you stare at flowers or stars like they were calling to you with siren song.

But sometimes he feels like a filthy animal with how much he slobbers at the sight of your small tits and big ass.

He knows all too well how you glare at him when he tries to explain his obsession with your breasts — you weren't flat like tree bark but you weren't very big-chested either so you didn't understand your husband's odd like for them.

"Doesn't stop ye moaning though," he'll hiss into your ear before ducking his red-cheeked face down to suckle on your pert nipple, his other calloused fingers squeezing at the small mounds like a hungry mutt. "Love these pretty tits of yours so damn much...."

And you know he likes your ass, always touching it; sometimes out of genuine, sheer innocence. It's just that natural to him for his large hands to rest on the rather fabulous swell of your ass as he stands next to you, though he'll be a tease and pinch it and grin when you yelp and go hot with embarrassment as he grins like a man man.

Though you've gotten used to him trailing around after you in the estate, sometimes patting your ass like a fucking bongo drum as you cook and he talks to you casually. Sometimes he'll take his chopstick and keep poking at your bum, smiling innocently when you turn around to pinch his nose affectionately.

But right now, he feels kind of bad for salivating.

You're not even dressed up, nor are you doing anything particularly special. Simply wearing a matching slayer uniform with him, haori and all, though he insists that you keep your gakuran shirt all buttoned up so that nobody stares (that's his job anyway) which you do per his request.

But he feels vile right now and he knows he looks madder than usual as you and a few younger slayers investigate a certain village today, waiting till the stars begin to twinkle to hunt down the demon.

You keep staring at him too and you're making it worse. Hell, he keeps blinking slowly as if reality isn't really making sense to him because why the fuck does your uniform look so nice on you? The swell of your ass still incredibly prominent despite the flowing hakama.

He wants to touch you, bend you over wherever, whenever but he can't because he'd never, never do that to you. You're too sweet, too innocent (he supposes) for that.

"Sanemi, are you alright?" you ask him, the back of your hand coming to touch his forehead, knuckles brushing past his brow as you worry about his feverish state, and just the touch of your hand has him reeling. "'Nemi, honey?"

"'m- 'm f-fine," he says through gritted teeth, trying not to moan at just the sensation of you checking his temperature; his eyes are more bloodshot than usual, becoming pinpricks as they look at you. He reaches up so that broad fingertips can light graze your jaw, he repeats with a forced smile, "'m fine, doll..."

You don't look convinced but you walk just a few steps ahead of him, using your sweet voice to guide the younger slayers, and it's like you're doing it on purpose. The audacity. Walking in front of him, where he has perfect view of your ass, why did god give him such a perfect wife?

The mission itself went well, the kakushi cleaning up as always, and after tending to a wounded slayer. You notice your husband hadn't returned from the forest and so, you panic.

Your strong legs running through the thicket of trees, uncaring of the darkness that envelopes the forest, even with the glittering tendrils of moonlight slipping through the foliage, casting an eerie glow.

"Sanemi!" you yell out, adrenaline pumping in your veins at the thought something might have happened to your husband, your uniform occasionally getting stuck in brambles but you truly don't care, simply letting it shred through the fabric. "'Nemi? Sanemi! God, 'Nemi, where are you?! 'Nemi-"

You shriek as you're grabbed as you run past the trunk of a particularly thick tree but a familiar, warm hand covers your mouth, desperately kissing your temple like sin.

"Fuck, 'm sorry," Sanemi sobs against your ear, hand now snaking around your chest to grope at your small tits, other hand reaching down to touch your ass and squeeze. His throat is raw, almost as though it's been ripped apart, voice shredded. "'m sorry, dolly, 'm sorry- I'm filthy, I'm so fuckin' filthy but I wanna touch you so fuckin' bad."

You realise very quickly that your husband had come over here to jack off in the middle of the dark forest, his hakama barely pulled down his thick, muscle-corded thighs. His dick strained against you and he moaned loudly as your clothed body brushed against it, panting into your ear.

"Oh, 'Nemi..." you say softly. "You scared me."

"I'm sorry, 'm sorry, jus' fuck me, please, I beg you, just- Shi-hiit," he whines as you turn around in his arms, looking at him through spotted moonlight.

God, he looks insane: eyes blown wide and bloodshot, jaw going slack as he looks at your pretty eyes, mouth, skin, tits, heart, soul- He surges forward, trying to desperately kiss you, grabbing onto your ass as his dick slaps against his stomach. He looks so fucked.

"Can- can I?" he croaks out and as you nod, allowing him to unbotton your shirt. "All for me?"

You nod and all that's left is for Sanemi to hoist you up against a tree, meaty forearms easily hooking under your thighs and pressing you against it as he slobbers over your tits and trembles against you, he's all but crying and whimpering as his throbbing, heavy cock splits you in two.

The pace he goes at is feral and he's huffing against your neck, letting out wanton moans as his balls clap against your ass, dragging you up and down his cock.

You feel so fucking good and god, it's all for him.

The thought makes him paint your insides white.

[curated-hdg]

On Domestication Of Masters by 4WheelSword and sheepwave

Released: December 2024

46k words; ongoing; writing as of chapter 11

Noteworthy tags: CW: Nietzsche, This Blorbo Is A Genuinely Awful Person We Do Not Condone Her Shitty Worldview, But It Sure Is Going To Be Fun Watching It Crumble

A hard Master/submissive willbreaking fic with maidplay and dollification elements. On the icy moon of Ganymede, an independent human, Frida, is scheming. She considers herself to be above all others, affini and terran alike. They just don’t have it figured out like she does; that the affini exist to serve those humans willing to see themselves as the true philisophical Masters of the universe. She just wants to get one little (rather cruel) feralist broadcast out to hurt the Affini as much as possible, then volunteer for the cushiest caretaker she can find to pamper her while she reads philosophy and pats herself on the back for being so, so smart. Let’s see how that plays out for her!

Frida really does kind of take the "shitty HDG protagonist" crown of tinfoil and toilet paper. She's a dyed-in-the-wool philosophical fascist, who was radicalized into acts of feralism (and outright terrorism!) after the compact showed up. She is also very intentionally a mirror held up to certain particularly online brands of modern fascism, most notably the alt-right, and this fic follows the process of her domestication under the feralbreaker Ophidia, who is quite interested in sparring intellectually with her pet. In the process, we get to watch her literally beat the fascism out of Frida, forcing her to confront the ways in which her own worldview fails her and makes her miserable.

It is... incredible.

I've known ODOM was going to be one to watch from the moment I heard that Sheepwave and 4WheelSword were collaborating again. Their last collaboration, the disgustingly hot forcefemme feralbreaking misogny kink fic "Alder's Prize" (And its lesbian counterpart, Adelira's Prize) was incredible, and the pitch on this one was just as good. When I then heard that the two authors were working together specifically because they both have experience dealing with online fascist deradicalization, I, as a longtime fan of InnuendoStudios, Dan Olson, PhilosophyTube, and similar antifascist video essayists, started to squee a little bit inside. When I read the first few chapters, I fell in love with this absolute prickly prick of a wet cat protagonist and the even pricklier affini responsible for her wellbeing.

(If it helps, imagine Frida not as a dangerous terrorist, but like a wet cat trying to knock over a glass vase on the counter. Yeah, she sucks, but she's harmless, on the way to getting better, and Ophidia can't get enough of her grumpy cat face!)

When I heard that the planned scope is likely to be upwards of 40 chapters, I started losing it. Honestly, I've mostly held off writing about it because it's clear it's going somewhere, and I'd like it to start getting there before I really dig into it as a recommendation. Chapter 11 marks the point where I can say, with absolute certainty, that ODOM is going to be a goddamn masterpiece. Seriously, you have to see this shit. Another floret straight-up tells Frida, "Oh, you're a fascist fascist. Ohhhh ok. My grandma would have killed you and been right to do so. Thank goodness the affini compact means we don't have to kill fascists any more!"

Sheepwave's art is always pretty damn impressive, but it's clear that there are some stops being pulled out on ODOM, artistically and thematically. The way color is very carefully used is actually genius, and the sudden explosion of color in the last chapter... FUCK.

I'm gonna be honest, y'all, what happened here was that I read the 11th chapter of ODOM and immediately ran over to the tumblr blog I use to recommend good fics to gush at length about it. (And then accidentally posted it instead of editing and queueing it.) It is incredible. It is reminiscent of the Nell/Andoa scenes from No Gods No Masters in the best possible ways. And the ART.

I mean... Fuck. What do I even say to that? I guess I could say fuck again. FUCK!

One last note. The authors have stated that, much in the same way that Alder's Prize is a love letter to the original HDG, that ODOM calls in a similar way to the spirit of fics like Abscission and No Gods, No Masters... and intends to have a similar scope in terms of the size of the story and the universe. I may in fact never recover from this one.

And you know what? In spite of that massive, grand scope that's planned... if it never released another chapter, it'd still be incredible and absolutely worth reading. Get in now, get in early, keep up to date. You do not want to miss this one.

[lightlycareless]

I've had this idea for a while ago , maybe you've said something similar but : Y/N piercing Naoya's ear 🤭❤️

Hello!!

Omg I've never thought of this before, I mean, y/n likes how good Naoya's piercings look on him, but helping him get another one? 😏 Now that's interesting.

Either way, here is a little drabble I wrote about that. How I think things would go down.

Warnings: fluff. Naoya is a lil bit of a prick. Mentions of nsfw activities.

Happy reading!!

Naoya's piercings are one of the many things that make him even more charming, undoubtedly.

However, you were already attracted to him, before the hair dye and the piercings, but when he got these two things together… it made you wetter far more intrigued by him.

Especially the piercings.

It's just… one of those things you never thought you'd see from him! Coming from a traditional household and all that.

But you're very glad he went through with them, because he looks very handsome, more than he already was.

And now that the two are finally together, you can happily gush about them to your heart's desire—something Naoya likes very much :)

How you carefully play with his piercings whenever you can, (it's almost relaxing for the two at this point), kiss them, help him clean them, or even choosing what stud would look good on him, and so on and so forth.

You really, really like them. There's no denying that. And with your admiration and care, Naoya eventually concludes you might be willing to pierce him too.

At first you were hesitant, knowing you weren't suitable for such a job; after all, you've never done anything like this before! Nor cared for, really. Often simply accompanying Naoya to designated businesses that employ such services, tend for him post-piercing, happily doing so, and that's about it.

“I don't know, Naoya… what if I hurt you?” You murmur, already set to reject him.

“You could never hurt me, my dove.” he reassures you, and with the soft way he spoke, alongside the loving look on his face… you concede.

For what becomes your biggest regret, no doubt, because while Naoya prepared everything beforehand, down to the smallest details, to make the job easier for both…

His teasing nature is something you'll never manage to escape from, even in moments like this.

“Are—Are you ready Naoya???” You squeak, holding the needle by the upper lobe of his right ear, the location of his new piercing.

“Why are you so nervous?” He chuckles “it's almost as if you're getting pierced”

“Don't mock me” you pout, pushing aside your nerves once more, whatever you could anyways. “... I'm going to do it now, then. Are you sure it doesn't hurt?”

“Positive” he says with a smile, placing his hand over your arm and gently squeezing it, to reassure you. “You'll do fine.”

You swallow.

“Ok” you nod. “I'm going to do it now…. One, two…—”

“Ah! Shit!” Naoya gasps, just when you gently push the needle against his skin, you quickly pull away.

“Oh my God, Naoya! Are you ok?! Does it hurt?!” You fret, eyes darting between his ear and face, a million terrifying, painful thoughts crossing your mind, debating whether to call an ambulance or not!

…

…

Only for those thoughts to immediately cease, emotions shifting towards confusion, and then anger, when he begins to laugh, revealing his reaction to be nothing more than a jest.

“You should've seen your face!” Naoya chuckles, clearly amused by your distress. While you… well, you were not.

“That's not funny, Naoya! I thought I hurt you!” You cry, smacking him on the arm. “Don't do that again!”

“Ah, it was just a joke, my love!” He laughs, catching your hand right before you can hit him again and placing a kiss on the knuckles. Naoya then relaxed back in place. “I promise I won't do it again.”

“... You better” you warn, ready to pierce him once and for all…

Unless he decided to irk out more of your reactions, shrieking when you do as little as place the needle in place, the slightest of pressure, or just about anything, and all the subsequent attempts.

So, naturally fed up and irritated by the nth time, you've decided to drop the matter all together and retreat, Naoya following you soon after .

“I'm just kidding, mochi! No need to get all worked up like that” he chuckles.

“I thought I was hurting you for real, Naoya!” You respond.

“I told you, you could never—”

“Well then, could you at least consider for a minute that I don't like seeing you in pain??” you breathe. “What if something happens and I don't take it seriously because you're always fooling around?!”

Silence, alongside guilt settling in Naoya's heart.

“I got really worried, you know that?” you add, he sighs.

Of course he knew that. Naoya must've, considering this was your first time doing something like this, and probably the last too thanks to his efforts.

But it wasn't intentional. At least not in the way he was acting.

Naoya thought that by reacting in such a careless way, he'd be able to convince you it wasn't that serious, just something that needed to be approached with care, and not as a high-risk surgery.

Though he greatly miscalculated, your reaction reminding him that your feelings for him were vastly greater than he anticipated, both moving him, and making him feel like the biggest douche in the world.

“I'm sorry” Naoya apologizes softly. “I was only trying to brighten the mood.”

“You have a funny way of doing that.” You murmur. “... I don't want to do it anymore.”

“I know.” Naoya smiles, taking a step closer to wrap his arms around you, placing a kiss on your forehead. “We'll just forget about this and move on.”

“But I still want you to get the piercing done” you say, looking up to him. You'd hate to be the reason he stops his plans altogether.

“I'll just schedule it another day” he responds with a smirk. “I still expect you to nurse me, though”

“...I always do.” you pout, leaning into his chest and embracing him back. “Pervert”

“Who's talking about that, Y/N?” Your boyfriend laughs. “Not only are you a fretting little thing, but also, a hugely perverted one…”

“You know exactly what you were talking about” you retorted. “...it's not like we do that every single time you get a new piercing. Or just because we feel like it…”

“Then I guess I'll just have to keep getting new ones” he shrugs, you shake your head.

“No! Not that many either!” You cry. “You look… very good with the ones you have right now… not too much, nor too little, just right.”

Naoya's heart skips a beat, always a victim to the unwitting way your compliments make him nothing but putty.

Amongst other things.

“Can't wait for you to see where I'm getting my next piercing, then.”

“It’s going to look really good! Your right ear was kind of lonely compared to the left” you say, reaching for his ear. “I'm really excited for it too”

“I was talking about something a bit more… discreet.” he smiles.

And a few seconds of silence, eventually catching up on his implication, you blush.

So... I genuinely think Y/N would say no to that hahaha I looked into it (a little) just to see how everything happens and it made me think: oof, too much. Y/N is surely freaking out.

Naoya would love it though, if he could get everything done with Y/N, it would be a dream. A perverted one. Sigh. How do they even accomplish anything? A mystery.

Anyways, I hope you liked this!!! Thank you so much for you patience and sharing this with me!!! 🥺💕 I'm slowly working through all the requests... Which I'm eternally grateful for 🥺❤️❤️❤️ goshahdkaishdoaka you don't know how flattered I am to be in your consideration 😭❤️

Take care, and hope to see you soon!!

[sonnet009games]

I just finished reading the new chapter - a tiny bit late for once since I was busy with stuff - and damn... I'm actually sitting here and legit crying.

I know you won't be able to respond to it for a few more days for spoiler reasons but...

Yeah, it was such an awesome chapter. I love how it was as expected when it comes to the detective, and that the appartment - in the case of mine - became even more empty and sterile than before. And it was just so... incredibly emotional to just see that spark of life come back in the morning, at the end of the chapter.

Also, I really enjoyed the gorta fight! AND the fact I managed to deduce who was the culprit, even if I didn't know the full truth about what was happening. It was the fact Flea mentionned he disappeared right when HE came into the picture that tipped me off! But back to the fight, it was really cool to see that with time, the detective DOES become better at fighting demons. And that "oh shit" moment with the blood? Brilliant. The slight moment of delay between the "well that's a hunger demon for you" and "DAMN we know just WHAT are the effects of incubus blood" was perfection!

The whole tone of the chapter was so so bleak, especially with a detective who feels so extremely guilty and is so openly depressed about the whole thing. I guess the tone is quite different for a detective who betrayed Flea, but mine didn't so it was just plain awkward but without "true reason" (well, obviously there are a lot of reasons for the awkwardness, but neither Flea nor my detective did anything bad per se).

One thing that amuses me to no end is to imagine the sheer shit Ted is going to give the detective when he learns about Flea actually moving in. I'm sure he'll go feral over it with the teasing. Though I imagine he'll be happy too.

Oh by the way, I have a question this time - a proper one, not only gushing over the new content! It's a bit of a random one though, not directly related to this chapter's content (I don't mind waiting for the moment you can actually post this though). So, we know incubi and succubi are called different words depending on gender. But so far, it seems it isn't the case for the other demon types we've met. Now, obviously I imagine from a writing PoV you just did it that way because these are demons we know and "it's like that" in reality. But I wonder if in the setting of your IF, some other demon types are called different names based on gender, or is it exclusively an incubus/succubus thing. Yeah, it's the most random of questions, I know!

Anyway, just thank you for this chapter (and this whole IF, really)! I can't even begin to describe just how many emotions each chapter brings me. It's without any doubts one of my favorite IF - and even one of my favorite games I've ever played!

I was thinking about tropes I really love and if/how I might be able to fit them into the game, and ‘sex pollen’ was right up there on the list. I’m glad I got to use a variation on one of my favourites. ^_^

As for your question: You’re right that having incubi/succubi separated by gender was an out-of-universe choice based on the recognisability of the terms. In-universe, sex demons (all demons, in fact) are on a broad gender spectrum that will at times defy binary classification.

Thank you so much for your thoughtful messages and kind words! <3