#i'm so sick and tired of talking about how female characters are ruined you know?

[potatopossums]

God I'm feeling so disconnected from people right now.

tw: dissociation, trauma mention, I'm a gynephile with a trauma response to the sexualization of men

Something about being horny over celebrities just kind of freaks me out. I could maybe see it for the fictional character version of actors, or just appreciating how attractive someone is. Like ok fine. I understand what it's like to be horny.

But what gets me freaked out is just. People will be so uncomfortably horny over characters out of nowhere. Maybe it's the lesbian in me, but I'll be sitting there minding my business, watching a movie, and ppl will legit be like "[actor name] is so hot omg." Like out of nowhere. And it'll be over the dumbest, ugliest, shittiest dudes too, for no good reason. Like wtf y'all. Of all the people to choose, okay. But it's mainly that I'm just... not watching a movie in the mood for being horny. And yet here some people are ready to ruin my moviegoing experience by not shutting up about how hot the Male Lead is when i can tell u right now he is not hot in any way, shape, or form, and he's also really shitty and the Female Love Interest deserves like way better.

Or I'm trying to watch YouTubers and streamers and people do the same damn thing. Talking about how hot certain people are. Excuse me, i do not follow men because they're hot. I do not. I follow men if they have decent content. And i really don't want to hear about how hot men are all the time because i could not agree less. They're not. They exist. I realize you're attracted to them. I am not. It is traumatic for me. Wtf. Please. I'm trying to watch a random unrelated gaming video and you are freaking out about how sexy someone is, pls go away. I understand how that feels, trust me, i get those urges sometimes with women, but like. Pls don't do that around me bc then i won't be able to stop thinking about that when I'm watching videos and it seriously ruins it for me. I can't think about men that way. It disgusts me and makes me dissociate. I can't do it.

And for the record, i also get pissed at my lesbian friends who always shit talking men. There are great men out there, kind and comforting men. I'm not concerned about that. I know that's a reality, i have been friends with many great guys, i admire and follow lots of awesome content creators. I think it's really shitty to constantly shit on men as a whole as if they're some irredeemable race of impure assholes from birth. That's reductive and terrible and I'm not doing that either.

It's not about people not being allowed to be attracted to whatever shitty man they want to be attracted to. It's just the fact that I'm sick of being around when that happens. I'm sick of being there and having to sit through that, waiting for them to shut up, just so i can start to panic because now my brain is stuck in "That Particular Male is Sexually Attracted to You" mode, and I'm suddenly saying "no no no no no no please go away go away—" because i don't want to look at any man that way. It has always scared me. And once someone starts talking about it, it's like telling me not to think of a pink elephant. It just doesn't work.

I'm tired of panicking and then feeling like the asshole when i don't want to hang out around people who just constantly talk about men being hot. I am so tired of feeling like the asshole for feeling really unimportant to my friends who are constantly talking like that near me. I'm tired of telling people "pls don't talk to me about this stuff" because then it feels like people just stop talking to me entirely. I'm so tired of realizing that people actually are attracted to men and they see me as strange for not seeing what they see. I literally see trauma. My vision goes red with fear. I can't unsee the things I've experienced, i can't unfeel the sensations and terror i felt and couldn't explain because i didn't know. It scares me. Please stop pretending it's okay. Please stop pretending i should agree with you. Please stop sending me hot guys or asking for reassurance about your crushes and how cute they are. I will tell you what i see about their personality, and i will tell you nothing of how they look because that has nothing to do with compatibility for me because i am not sexually or romantically compatible with men, period.

What. The. Fuck.

It's so exhausting. I can no longer separate my friends' horniness for certain people from my experience of even watching certain creators on my own. It's just in my head and as soon as those people appear, i loathe them. It terrifies me. Maybe i shouldn't play it off as a joke anymore. But it really does freak me out. I can't even watch certain people. I'm so tired of it seeping into everything. I'm so tired of hearing about how hot everyone thinks everyone else is. Heaven forbid i think a woman is attractive and I'm a weirdo. But yes let's keep talking about how hot men are when they're literally not. They're just people. They probably smell awful. They're probably extremely annoying irl. Literally i can't handle it.

I know this is a complete vent at this point but it has been a rough day full of crap like this and I've felt terribly ignored and alone because of it. And I'm so tired of it. I've got a headache. I don't want to wake up tomorrow. I just want to sleep forever because being awake for all this garbage really really sucks. So much. I just hate everything right now. If you made it through all of this, sorry i don't have a prize for you, but i guess we get to sit in misery together now.

[gale-gentlepenguin]

Why does every movie do stuff like Birds of Prey? Ghostbusters, The Last Jedi, Captain Marvel, it's always about studios and directors never taking responsibility for their movies failing, just blame it on men. At the same time, they always say that they're unique for having a "empowering" (Translation: makes every conflict about her gender) female lead, ignoring much better films like Aliens and Wonder Woman. I'm sorry, I just really hate movies like this.

It is alright anon.

I am all for movies being empowering and what not. If a movie can help encourage Women that is Awesome I am glad a movie could help do that. I am all for people having movies encourage them and inspire them. I just hate how some of the studios and movies CRAP on their fans. Using the movie as a platform for activism. Acting like Elite assholes when things don't go their way.

To be fair, I don't think Captain Marvel failed. I think it did well. (Granted I was tired of super hero movies and didn't even watch infinity war until weeks later  when it came out so I didn't watch it, I will get around to it)

I didn't see ghostbusters (the original or the female remake) so I didn't have interest in it. Just was a bit annoyed by the marketing. 

My negative feelings towards the last Jedi wasn't about empowerment, it was about how it ruined the tradition of Star Wars, ruined Luke’s character to the point where Mark Hamill himself was against it. As was most of the actors. Star wars as a whole destroyed the good faith its fanbase had in it, attacking its fans, calling them toxic. Its so disgusting.

(I love the Mandalorian and its the ONLY thing keeping me tethered to Star Wars atm)

You want to know the best way to ENCOURAGE a message in a movie.

WRITE A GOOD MOVIE!

Save the talks about the message After. Let movies speak for themselves. 

Also, I can't wait for Wonder Woman 1984. That movie looks so sick.

[barbariccia]

throwing my final thoughts under the cut for posterity’s sake.

i stayed up til 3 fucking a m only for my thoughts to sum up as

maybe because i was tired and zoning out, but the engame was incredible short imo. i get that the additional post-patch padding was just that, padding, but the approach to insomnia was all kinds of stupid short. i'm thinking of other final dungeons and the trek to getting to the final boss - sure, you can slack off and go finish up sidequests or dick around in the gold saucer, but there's usually some time needed to get through them. northern crater's kinda long! ulty's castle's definitely long! lunar subterrane can kiss my ass! kefka's tower, anyone? vs.... hey this is a tiny rest stop that's... why is it here? why? and then walk in a straight line lol. ????? 

-again, haven't really been paying 100% attention to all the lore ("all" lol) and stuff, and that's on me - and that's ultimately why i want to actually play it for myself and give it that modicum of an extra shot- but uhhhh ifrit out of. nowhere? i'm still a little bewildered by that, even if episode ardyn does clear that up a bit (i'm hoping i remembered that right, anyway). -hey sidenote ffxv shouldn't have been a FUCKING LIVE SERVICE GAME WITH DLC ADDONS FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU it ruined the story. okay ruined is a stretch but cutting chunks out only to add them back in later is SUCH a stupid design holy shit. not even fucking 13 did that (mm... exception 13-2's dlcs, maybe? but even they were, uh, well, colisseum fights, a gambling room, and i never did touch lightning's dlc lol) and they absolutely could've tried it then. ff is not a live fucking service unless it's an mmo. -how comrades is still going considering xv is now fucking abandonware is beyond me -who ever heard of a mainline ff title being abandoned -shidding farding crying throwing up etc

-that last battle was absolute trash holy shit. scenery? fuck you. what feels like good, fulfilling combat based on everything you've picked up so far? literally go fuck yourself. -he do be straddling the king of kings to noncon him doe -forgettable music, too. also, if i never hear somnus again it'll be too soon . did you know that track came out at least 13 years before the game itself did? :^) -let me sum the final battle up for you as: i have never heard anyone talk about it or screenshot it or video it. until last night i genuinely thought that ifrit was the final battle, because that was ALL I'VE EVER FUCKING SEEN OF IT. and i didn't see a huge amount of xv back in the day, even, but i absolutely saw bits and pieces! ardyn fucking who? i remember being kinda  at bahamut when he appeared because that felt like it was kind of a huge deal (followed up by some sick flips lol)? but, uh, no, i'll just go fuck myself -i also thought up until last night that ardyn was ifrit the same way gentiana was shiva, tbh. because i KNEW THAT ARDYN WAS THE BIG BAD AND I THOUGHT IFRIT WAS THE BIG FINAL FIGHT. YA FUCKIN KNOW?

-uhhhhh i am still very tired -back to the live service thing, honestly. like, i cannot imagine having played this on release and then having to fucking wait to see what happened to other characters in the game. you know, people i'm meant to have formed an emotional connection to. iris? demon slayer, okay, that's kinda sick honestly, but could we not have seen that? did the budget not allow for another female model? aranea? no word about her? gentiana? oh i guess not but -i realise now that's the end of the list since luna and ravus are dead (hey how come like zero people ever fucking commented on the oracle's bloodline being totally gone) (thats a rhetorical question.) uhhhhhh lol nvm -which leads into: holy SHIT the cast was tiny. and you know what, some games actually pull it off really well. v and xiii both had super small casts! but both of them made an impact! xv made itself somehow feel isolated even from its own main cast, somehow?

-the characters lol. -i am suffering a little from "neeb and i have talked about them and i am attributing more to them than the game has and i have to try and remember that's seperate from the game" -we have sasuke but boring, ignis is okay i guess, i don't actually mind prompto but i can 1000% see how he would get on people's tits, and toxic masculinity -with a side of how dare you want a woman, the bad guy who should've had more to him if he was showing up from the beginning of the game but eh whatever, mr in 50 places at once, why wasn't the marshal with the guys, and ANOTHER female? greedy [smacks your wrist] -they sure exist and they sure interact with each other but uh i can only see those deep bonds of friendship if i squint and approach it from an angle -i would be lying if i didn't want to write smut tho so like, joke's on me

in conclusion: -lol -lmao -they really thought this was their magnum opus of magnum opuses (opusii? opusopodes?) huh? what’s really sad is lif is right, the potential’s there. knowing development was The Way It Was is a shame. and as an ff liker, i’m genuinely a little ashamed at this blemish on the franchise. -a b a n d o n w a r e -thank you yoshi-p for my life

spent my XIV pre-patch maint finishing off the main story of an objectively worse FF. God I hate this game. Wish I wasn’t fucking obsessed with it.

And I’m not even done I still have to do post game dungeons, Ep Ignis verse 2, Ep Ardyn, and then I threatened to read the Dawn of the Future novel aloud to @barbariccia and @lifygreens. WITH the voices.

The Windows/royal edition added a lot to the Insomnia area and story, but at the cost of basically ruining the pacing/emotive impact of the original sequence. Granted, the attempt to make you care about Insomnia was … well there was an attempt? I appreciate that they added more to do, considering how bare it was before, and I also appreciate the boss gauntlet with the corrupted Lucii statues that mirrors off each boy (though I feel like Ignis should’ve squared off against the Rogue). I need to go back and explore the city now that I’m not just making a beeline for the msq since it was like, 3am where Mol was. The addition of the Kingsglaive was nice, and I’m curious to see what kind of quests they have to offer.

I’m still despairing over the fact that we were never given a reason to care about Insomnia, but the additions and set dressing were An Attempt. It utterly wrecked the pacing and made a lot of it feel weird, but hey at least it was there? We got to see Noctis being an actual king to his people instead of just kinda … figureheady. It was needed, and given how the game was already shipped out, I’m not sure how else they could’ve added it in than the way they did.

Whelp. Time to reward myself with some sleep and getting to play XIV 6.1 tomorrow, content in the knowledge that it’ll be Actually Good. I’ll probably start my NG+ of XV later this week, go through just the MSQ to see how the story feels without doing dozens of hours of sidequesting. Probably just as bad as before, but I also need to take notes for the fic I’m writing. I’m also still thoroughly enjoying the Comrades DLC, so I���ll be chipping away at that periodically as well.

[terriblygrimm]

ladiesarmor replied to your post: ladiesarmor replied to your post:based on how many...

no I haven’t read the spoiler! And I know Nadine, all the FDTD blogs on my dash ship katexseth. Kate could be so much more, a teenage girl relatable (for me at least) and refreshing in a all male world (sadly she’s not) and it’s a pity

it really is a pity, how kate is yet another female ruined by horrible writing and tropes of society’s gaze. somehow she’s this magical mature 30 yr old trapped in a 17 yr old virgin body and people worship her, labeling her a victim and a savior, yet ship her with the most downright dirty, self-serving (self-seriving includes richie, bc they’re basically halves of a whole) criminal who’s in his thirties, already lived his life & knows what he wants. kate hasn’t, yet she somehow knows exactly what she wants in life (to the fandom (and to the writing in certain scenes when it’s convenient)).

side note: i will literally never get over how the shippers romanticize that table scene in the twister lmao buuuuut it seems like season will have kate veer off into having her own story of ‘redemption’ (redemption in scott’s eyes, bc she ditched him and basically yelled at him the entire first season. yet she’s “so innocent” and “so pure” lmao). but i am looking forward to that! bc the fandom forgets kate is actually teenager, so she’s not where she wants to be yet, so i’m excited to see her and scott reunited. so hopefully that’ll turn out to be nice! i can’t wait to see her parted from seth on her own journey to find her brother. & there aren’t many spoilers, but the ones i did read were mega interesting. i could tell you if you wanted? but idk if you like to be spoiled like i do :p