#i'm so punny lmao

[ofluminance-a]

don't mind me intermittently answering asks at work. the muses have been pining for a month, and are going through withdrawal. .. withdrawal! geddit? - ... i work at a bank 😂

[vintageseawitch]

i feel like Lizzie & Mr Tilney would crack each other up with their mutual witticisms & make Catherine blush but find some amusement meanwhile Darcy would have to move heaven & earth not to groan out loud & roll his eyes every five minutes

[pandoa]

just impulsively bought the i am kenough hoodie hours after watching barbie at the theaters

no regrets

[casual-praxis]

I've started planning out how the Rainbow Ranch AU should translate to fanfic form, and so far I'm thinking of having each character's arrival be its own chapter.

So we'd start with Vio and end with either Green or Blue. Then any additional story beats would be their own isolated fics, making the timeline non-linear but allowing me more room to work.

On an unrelated note, I keep getting tripped up on Vio's name. I can't decide if I want one of the others to nickname him Vio, which would result in his entire chapter calling him Violet until someone else shows up, or if he just shortened his own name. I love keeping the consistency that Red nicknames him, but Red would be the third to show up, so..

Alternatively, if he did shorten his own name, this opens up the potential for a running joke.

"Vio? Is that short for something?" "Yes, Viomycin."

"Is your name really Vio?" "My parents always wanted a violin."

"Wait, who are you, really?" "I'm Violaceous."

Vio becoming the punny one after Green took over the gardening hc is only fair I suppose. We can have one AU where they trade. Or maybe they both just make awful jokes and bond over their shared awful humor (I say, as the resident pun maker of my friend group lmao).

[yaz-the-spaz]

I have a new second favorite Zayn and here's reasons #1-∞ why...

first off, for anyone who may have missed it liam participated in Soccer Aid this week and made a new friend with an old name. enter tiktoker & youtuber zaynqf, who makes football content but was clearly fangirling over liam (much like another zayn we know lmao) 😆

...BUT things really popped off when zayn(qf) made a post including a caption with a punny joke about himself and liam (included in the screenshots below)

as they do, fans reacted and the result was...interesting 😏

and then just to make sure what was seemingly being implied by zayn(qf) was crystal clear someone else followed up and...

THEN as if to double down on his chaotic and downright egregious behavior (sir! we were not prepared!) AND add fuel to the already deliciously burning fire, he proceeded to view (and even like) posts from other ziams' stories

there may be even more of these, i'm not sure, but these are just the ones i happened to see (if people have screenshots of more of him creeping on ziam posts please do feel free to send them in so i can add them to this post lol!)

anyways, in conclusion, I have a new second favorite zayn and now you all do too. let's welcome our new surrogate captain of this beautiful ship warmly! 😜🏳️‍🌈

[selfless-solipsist]

°˖✧ The Joke ✧˖° [Screwball]

(Yes, I wrote a Screwball x reader fanfic. Why? Because I had a funny idea lmao. This is mostly just pure comedy, but with a bit of fluff)

「 ✦ "Sensible? Who wants to be sensible when you can be silly!"✦ 」

╰┈➤ Dr Screwball Jones x Female Reader ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

Their chemistry was blinding, but the conversation was a blackout.  

And the atmosphere was so unbelievably awkward, to the point where the waiters glanced over at them every two minutes, wondering what the hell they were doing. Though, to be completely honest, no one in this situation knew what was happening. 

Why?

Because the two sitting at the fancy restaurant were both obviously uncomfortable with the whole thing. Well, at least the woman seemed a bit more uneasy than her blind date, that she didn't expect to see mind you. But a certain floating banana (yes), being the eccentric character he was, had to break the ice with a pun.

"Well, well, well, what a peel-ing predicament we find ourselves in!"

...

"This is exactly why we got divorced."

Well, that was a good start.

"Heeey, you're supposed to laugh!" The man complained, his mustache acting like hands put on his hips. His big, round glasses hid his eyes, but there was a glimmer of annoyance in them, despite his cheerful tone. He hovered in the air, crossing his arms in a huff.

"I come up with the best puns and you don't laugh! It's a tragedy!"

"Yes, yes, we are tragically in the same room once more."

The woman rolled her eyes. It was incredible how easily she could remain emotionless. She was a force to be reckoned with, having the ability to remain calm in the most aggravating situations. And boy, was this aggravating. "We got divorced for a reason, you know."

"Yeah, because you have the sense of humor of a rock!"

Screwball exclaimed dramatically. Despite his voice being nasally and slightly high-pitch, he still managed to make quite a scene. "I told you that you'd never be able to handle my punny personality, and yet you married me anyway!"

"I thought I could handle it, but your jokes got on my nerves. Everything was a joke. Even sex." The woman said bluntly. She took a sip of her water and looked at her ex-husband, one eyebrow raised. She didn't seem the least bit flustered or embarrassed about the subject. Despite having a gorgeous, slender figure, she had the personality of a prickly cactus.

"How the hell was I supposed to take sex seriously when you're a human and I'm a banana?!" He yelled in a huff, his mustache-arms waving in front of his face, as if he was gesturing about the absurdity of the situation.

Honestly, the man was spouting facts.

"You gotta admit, it's an insane scenario! I mean, seriously, how does that even work? I don't have the anatomy of a man! I'm a damn fruit! How am I supposed to perform with any kind of expertise when I just don't have the tools for the job?! Besides sex is a joke!"

The woman groaned and put her head in her hands. This was exactly why they had divorced. She just couldn’t stand his behavior. "But it's supposed to be intimate! Not a 'laugh-fest', you imbecile. I thought you'd be sensible in situations like that..."

"Sensible? Who wants to be sensible when you can be silly!"

Screwball grinned, adjusting the top hat on his head. He wasn’t just going to let his former partner put him down like that. He had to defend himself! Even if his defense was absolutely ridiculous. "Laughter brings people together! If there's a room full of people, and onlyone person isn't laughing, guess who's the buzzkill?"

The woman narrowed her eyes. Even though she wasn't showing much outward annoyance, on the inside, she felt like throttling her idiotic, floating ex-husband. "And if there's a room full of people, and only oneperson is laughing, guess who's the weirdo?"

"Well, that's me!"

The floating banana proudly declared, waving his mustache arms in the air. He didn’t care that everyone thought he was weird - in fact, that was his goal! So for someone like ___ to point it out, it actually had the opposite effect. "And I am proud to be the weird one! That means I’m the only one who enjoys life to fullest! Why be normal when you can be ridiculous?! The more laughter the better!"

The woman internally facepalmed once more. His obnoxious attitude was already getting on her nerves. There was no way she would make it through the whole night without losing it on him. So feeling the need for a brain-numbing drink, she picked up the menu and started scouring the alcohol list. She silently cursed the dating app she had signed up for that landed her a date with this dumbass.

How did it even pair them up in the first place?

Honestly the universe was playing some kind of sick joke.

As she browsed through the list of alcohol, Screwball floated closer to her, peering over her shoulder. The top hat on his head shifted as he looked through the list too. And chuckled as he saw the large variety of drinks. "Haha, I see they've got a whole alphabet of alcohol on here! A, B, C...D... E..." The floating banana was obviously going to make the most out of this opportunity to be a smartass.

The woman let out an exasperated sigh, not even giving him the satisfaction of a response. She just wanted something that would make the night at least somewhat more tolerable. But as the two perused the list, the man continued obnoxiously listing all the letters of the alcohol, going in alphabetical order.

"F, G, H..."

...

"J, K... L, M..."

He was intentionally being as annoying as possible, and it was working.

The woman closed her eyes and mentally counted to ten, trying to ignore the floating banana's irritating voice as he continued listing the alcoholic beverages in the most annoying way possible. She was seriously considering the possibility of ordering something strong enough to knock herselfout, just so she wouldn't have to listen to him anymore. He was impossible. And even though she had a blank expression, the only thing on her mind was the thought of punching him in the face. Preferably with a chair.

"N, O, P..."

This was pure torture. Pure, unadulterated suffering. 

How did she end up with this moron as her date?

"Q, R... S, T, U..."

The list was getting longer, and so was the woman's patience. And that was saying something because her patience was already very, very short. Her eye was starting to twitch as she continued to hear the insufferable list. It was like her own personal form of Hell, to be trapped in a room with this banana and his incessant pun-making.

"V, W, X, Y... and Z! Oh, would you look at that! The whole alphabet! Ha ha!"

Yeah, ha ha.

Absolutely hilarious.

The banana man chuckled to himself, seemingly satisfied with his own obnoxiousness. He had successfully managed to get on his ex's nerves yet again, and he was proud of himself for it. Meanwhile, the woman was silently begging for a miracle to save her from this torment. Anything. A waiter, a meteor, an alien invasion, anything!

But there was nothing. No way out. Just her and this floating, annoying, punning yellow fruit.

And he was far from finished.

Leaning against the table with his mustache arms  he propped up his head somehow. He chuckled and tapped his fingers together, clearly enjoying messing with her This was probably the most entertainment he had ever had on a date. And he intended to make the most of it.

"You know, all those letters and drinks made me think of a pun I've been working on."

Oh no.

The woman tried to keep her composure, but her eye was now uncontrollably twitching. She gritted her teeth and spoke through clenched ones. "Don't. you. dare."

The banana man smirked, relishing in the reaction he was getting. He was absolutely loving this. "Oh, come on! This is a real good one, you're gonna love it. You'll be rolling on the floor laughing."

That was highly unlikely. 

But he continued anyway, clearing his throat dramatically.

"Alright, get ready for this... why can’t you say no to having another drink?"

The woman exhaled in disbelief, her face still the same emotionless mask. "Oh god no..."

"Because they’re always going A B Sea!"

Screwball burst out laughing, slapping his hands against his head in pure joy. It was a truly terrible and utterly hilarious pun, and he was very proud of himself for coming up with it. But the woman was far from amused. In fact, she was starting to get pissed off. "Howis that even funny?! That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard!" She exclaimed, her mask of indifference starting to slip as her anger grew.

He chuckled and shook his head, clearly enjoying the reaction he was getting out of her. "Awww, don’t be like that. You know you love my puns!"

"Yeah, I love them like I love a dentist drilling my teeth without anesthesia."

"Ouch, that one stung!"

"Not as much as my foot up your banana ass."

"Oho, feisty as ever!”

Finally, the woman snapped.

"Oh, for Grop's sake, shut the hell up!" 

She slammed the menu down and gave him a scalding glare. Her patience had officially run out, and the floating banana had finally crossed the line. "You are the most obnoxious person I've ever met in my life! Everything is a joke to you, and you don't take anything seriously! I could have gotten a more interesting date with a goddamn rock!"

Screwball put his mustache hands on hips in mock offense. Sure, he was irritating, but he wasn't going to take that kind of insult. "Hey, now! No need for name-calling! I'll have you know I'm the most interesting date you'll ever have!" He puffed out his chest in a show of pride, clearly not deterred by her outburst. In fact, it seemed to have the opposite effect. He was just getting started.

"The most interesting date I'll ever have? You’re deluded."

The woman rolled her eyes again, taking a deep breath, trying to stay as composed as she possibly could. But the temptation to either kill him or herself was getting stronger by the second.

This was exactly why she had divorced him to begin with. He was too much. Too ridiculous, too carefree, too... banana-shaped.

"Hey, I'm not deluded! I'm hilarious!" Screwball protested, crossing his mustache arms defiantly. He floated a bit higher into the air, as if to make himself look more intimidating.

...it didn't work.

He chuckled, clearly enjoying the way he was getting under her skin. He loved stirring up trouble, and this was no exception. "You're just too much of a stick-in-the-mud to appreciate my genius sense of humor!"

"Your 'genius sense of humor' is more like an endless stream of bad puns and dad jokes." The woman countered, giving him a withering glare. She couldn't believe she had ever found him attractive, let alone married him. This banana-man had the intelligence and emotional depth of a five-year-old, and the personality to match.

"Hey, don't knock puns and dad jokes! They're classics for a reason! They make people laugh!" Screwball replied, grinning with smug satisfaction. It was obvious he didn't care he was being irritating. If anything, he found it downrightentertainingto get on her nerves. "Besides, they're way funnier than whatever jokes you'dcome up with."

She clenched her jaw, trying to keep a lid on her anger - and it was becoming increasingly difficult. She could feel her blood pressure rising as the floating banana continued to insult her intelligence. "And what'sthatsupposed to mean, hm? You think you're the only one who can come up with clever jokes?" She shot him a sharp look, her eyes narrowed. She wouldn't let this insufferable jerk make jabs at her like that.

"Oh, I don't think, I know it. I'm the undisputed king of puns and comedy! The master of mirth, the king of chuckles, the-" Screwball started listing off his 'titles', clearly enjoying himself far too much. He loved listing off all ways he was better than her, especially since he knew it would get a rise out of her.

"The king of obnoxiousness, more like."

The woman shot back, her sarcasm practically dripping from her voice. She could feel the anger boiling inside her, threatening to explode at any moment. "You're not even a king. You're just a giant, floating banana. A fruit. An annoying, irritating,floating fruit."

Screwball gave her a sly glance. He knew exactly what buttons to press to piss her off even more.

"Aww, someone's feeling a bit cranky. Can't handle a little bit of playful banter, huh?" He floated over to her, still wearing his smug expression. Then, he gave her a once-over, as if sizing her up. "Though, I suppose that's nothing new, is it? You've always had a bit of a sour disposition."

The woman raised an eyebrow, sensing the imminent insult coming her way. "And what's that supposed to mean?" She asked, trying to keep her tone neutral, but failing miserably. The way he was looking at her, it was almost as if he was judging her. "Go on, say it. You know you want to."

Screwball cackled and crossed his mustache arms, clearly enjoying himself. "Oh, come on, you know exactly what I'm talking about. You've always been sour as a lemon, haven't you?" He gave her a smug grin, knowing exactly what his words would do to her. He was testing the waters, seeing how far he could push her limits.

The woman's eye twitch returned, this time in full force. She hated how he could so easily get under her skin. "A lemon. Is that what you're going with? Really?" She sneered, her annoyance with him clearly showing on her face. She couldn't believe he was resorting to petty insults about her looks, like a grade-schooler. "I'm not a goddamn citrus fruit, you imbecile. I'm a human."

"Oh, trust me, I'm well aware that you're a human. But you have the personality of a lemon. You're bitter, sour, and have a nasty bite to you." He could see the vein in her forehead starting to throb, indicating that he was really getting to her. "I'd say you've got a touch of lime in your personality too, but that's probably giving you too much credit."

Okay. She had reached her breaking point. 

She was done with his insults, no matter how accurate they were. Without a second thought, she reached out and shoved him away from her, causing him to float back to his seat across from hers. "You're insufferable." She hissed, her voice low. "It's a wonder I ever agreed to marry you in the first place." She snapped her fingers, signaling one of the waiters to come over. 

She needed a drink.

Screwball let out a dramatic gasp, pretending to be hurt by her shove. "Ooh, touchy, touchy! Someone's a little touchy tonight." He floated back to his seat, adjusting his top hat with his arms. But he didn't seem the least bit deterred by her outburst. If anything, it only seemed to bolster his enjoyment. "Aww, you're not still hung up on the past, are you? We're divorced, aren't we? That's ancient history."

The woman gritted her teeth, her patience wearing thin again.

"How can I not be, when you're still just as annoying as you were when we were married?" She let out a frustrated sigh, remembering one particular moment when she had gone to him for relationship advice. A very, very stupid decision in hindsight.

"Do you remember that time I came to you for advice, and you just told me to go bananas?"

Har har.

Screwball chuckled at the memory. "Oh, yeah, I remember that! That was hilarious!"

Not helpful at all, but hilarious.

He let out a loud laugh, amused by his own memory. "You should have seen the look on your face when I said it!"

As he laughed, the woman's eye began to twitch once more. She had hoped he would have the decency to at least be somewhat ashamed of that stupid joke, but of course he didn't. He was just as clueless as ever.

As they were talking, the waiter approached their table, notepad in hand.

He stood awkwardly by the table, waiting for one of them to acknowledge his presence. However, the couple was still busy arguing with each other. The woman was busy reminding Screwball of how utterly unhelpful he was in the past, while the floating banana was continuing to laugh at his own stupid jokes.

Finally, the waiter cleared his throat, trying to get their attention. "Excuse me..?"

The pair stopped arguing and turned to look at the waiter, both of them having forgotten that he was still standing there. The woman gave him a sheepish smile, realizing they must have been making quite a scene.

"Yes, sorry. Um.. can I get a drink, please?" ___, her voice strained with annoyance. "And make it something strong."

The waiter nodded and quickly jotted down the order, clearly eager to get away from the bickering couple. "Certainly, ma'am. Anything for you, uh... Sir?" The waiter then turned to look at Screwball, who was still hovering in the air, clearly unsure of what the hell he was even looking at. But who could blame him honestly?

Screwball thought for a moment, his mustache arms tapping his chin. "I'll take a banana daiquiri. Extra bananas."

The woman groaned, running a hand over her face.

"Of course you would order that." Muttering, she rolled her eyes. She was not surprised in the slightest by his choice. It was just like him to order something as ridiculous as a banana daiquiri. And as the waiter left to get their drinks, she turned back to Screwball, her annoyance growing once again. "You know, you haven't changed at all. You're still as irritating and immature as ever."

Screwball chuckled at her comment, not bothered by her criticism in the least.

"And you're still as serious as ever. It's a wonder you haven't given yourself an ulcer with all that stress you carry around with you." He floated a bit higher into the air, as if looking down on her. "And speaking of which, no wonder you have to go on blind dates just to find some human male willing to tolerate you."

As soon as he pointed out her blind date, the woman's eye started to twitch again. This man was absolutely insufferable. And the fact that he was acting like he was the better one in comparison was laughable.

"Oh, and you're one to talk? You're on a blind date too, you know. And as far as I know, you were looking for a talking orange or some bullshit like that." She rolled her eyes, clearly unimpressed by his argument. "Not exactly a catch yourself, are you, banana-boy?"

Screwball's mustache arms flew up in a defensive gesture. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on, hold on. Let's not get ahead of ourselves here." He floated closer to her, his voice taking on a tone of mock indignance. "I was looking for a strawberry too, thank you very much. I havestandards."

He wasn't serious, but it was funny.

Actually...

She snorted.

"You, have standards?" She echoed his words, her eyes widening in feigned shock. Her voice was oozing with sarcasm as she spoke. "Oh wow, my apologies. I didn't realize I was in the presence of such a sophisticated fruit."

She rolled her eyes again. This banana-man was truly unbelievable. He was trying to act all high and mighty, as if he was better than her, but he was just being a pompous fool. How she ever found him attractive, she would never know.

Screwball's mustache arms trembled in mock offense. "Hey! I'll have you know, I am an extraordinarily sophisticated fruit." He protested, floating even higher in the air, as if to emphasize his point. "And for your information, I only look for the most ripe, juicy, and sweet fruits when it comes to my dating prospects. I have a very refined taste."

The woman rolled her eyes once more, feeling her annoyance growing. This man had no idea how ridiculous he sounded.

"Oh really? And just what exactly are your refined tastes?"

"Well, I prefer my fruits to have a nice, firm texture. None of that bruised or soft stuff. I like my fruits ripe and ready for a good squeeze. And, of course, they've gotta have a good, sweet flavor. None of that overly sour, bitter stuff. I wouldn't want my taste buds to shrivel up." Screwball spoke with mock seriousness, as if he were discussing some great mystery of the universe. He continued to float higher and higher, as if his elevated position gave him some air of superiority.

___ was growing more and more annoyed with his ridiculous banana metaphors. "You realize how pompous you sound right now, don't you? Like some ridiculous, high and mighty fruit king, judging the world around him for his own amusement." She couldn't believe he was actually trying to act like he was better than her, simply because he had some sort of twisted idea of what constituted a good fruit. She was getting fed up with his attitude. "You're not some fruit god, you're a floating banana with a clown wig. And for the record, you don't know anything about fashion either. Your idea of style is probably wearing a sombrero and a hula skirt."

Screwball let out a dramatic gasp, placing a mustache arm to his forehead. "Oh, please. I have excellent fashion sense. I could give those magazine models a run for their money." He paused for a moment, as if imagining himself strutting down a runway in a ridiculous outfit. "And, for the record, I rock a sombrero and a hula skirt. I'd look fabulous."

Fabulously ridiculous, if anything.

"Oh, spare me. You wouldn't even know what fashion was if it bit you in the ass. I've seen your closet, remember? It's nothing but polka dot bowties and oversized hawaiian shirts." She replied dryly.

The banana-man feigned offense, pretending to be hurt by her comment. But his mustache arms betrayed his amused reaction. "Hey, my closet may be a bit eclectic, but that's just because I have a distinct sense of style. I like to think of my fashion sense as... avant-garde." He placed a 'hand' to his chest in a dramatic pose. "I'm paving the way for the future of fashion. In a few years, you'll be seeing people wearing nothing but polka dots and hawaiian shirts, and they'll be thanking me for it."

"Yeah, and we'll all be walking around looking like we just came from a luau. Sounds thrilling." She couldn't believe he actually thought he had any sense of style. She had seen his taste in fashion, and it was... well, let's just say it was unique, in the most generous sense of the word. He was never going to win a style award, that was for sure.

Screwball chuckled, not bothered by her skepticism. "Well, at least I'm not afraid to take a few risks with my fashion choices. I'm a style icon! A true pioneer." He did a little twirl in the air, as if to prove his point. "And just wait. In a few years, you'll be begging me to be your personal stylist. You'll be begging me to put you in a polka dot bowtie."

This man was truly delusional.

"Yeah, and monkeys might fly out of my ass. The only way I'd ever ask you to be my personal stylist is if I suffered a severe head injury and lost all sense of taste and style." She gave him a smug smile. "But until then, I think I'll stick to myactual fashion sense and avoid looking like a walking polka-dot billboard, ex-husband."

The floating fruit let out a dramatic gasp, pretending to be offended. "Ex-husband or not, I'm still ahead of the fashion curve. You'll come crawling back to me one day, begging for my fashion wisdom!" He floated closer to her, his mustache arms waving in the air. "Just you wait. In a few years, my fashion sense will be the talk of the town. And you'll be kicking yourself that you didn't get on board with it sooner."

"Yeah, right. The only way your fashion sense will be the talk of the town is if it's a new way of doing everything wrong. I'll stick to listening to actual fashion experts, thanks." She leaned back in her chair, looking at him with an amused expression. "But hey, if you ever want to give up the whole polka dot maestro thing, I think there might be a job opening as a clown. You'd be a natural, trust me."

As they continued to banter, the waiter returned with their drinks, placing the stiff drink in front of Screwball and a banana daquiri in front of ___ - the exact opposite of where they should be. But neither of two noticed, too busy arguing with each other.

Screwball lifted his drink to his mouth and took a sip. He was having a good time, surprisingly, enjoying the back-and-forth banter with his ex-wife. That is, until he realized the taste of the drink in his mouth was not banana-based at all. In fact, it was the complete opposite of what he had ordered. He sputtered and coughed, spraying the liquid out of his mouth.

"What the - What is this??" He exclaimed, his mustache arms waving in disgust.

The woman was surprised to see him sputtering and coughing like that. She had expected him to be enjoying his banana daiquiri, not look like he was having a near-death experience.

But it was definitely more hilarious than any of his jokes.

She leaned forward, her expression a mix of surprise and curiosity.

"What's wrong? Is the drink too strong or something?" She asked, taking a sip of her own drink, which was actually quite sweet and fruity. She seemed to be blissfully unaware of the fact that they had received each other's drinks.

Screwball coughed a few more times, trying to clear his throat from the bitter liquid. He looked at the glass in horror, as if he couldn't believe what he was seeing. "Strong?? This is way more than STRONG. This is like pure... FIRE LIQUOR! My throat feels like it's on fire!" He exclaimed, his mustache arms flailing wildly in protest. "I ordered a banana daiquiri! Not a drink that could strip paint!"

Okay. This was hilarious.

The woman couldn't help but chuckle at his reaction. It was hard not to. This was a man who typically laughed at his own jokes and acted like nothing could bother him, and now he was making a fuss over a simple drink. It was too funny. "Oh my goodness, it can't be that bad," She said, hiding her amusement behind a mock-concerned expression. "You did ask for extrabananas, right? Maybe they just took you a little TOO literally."

Screwball's eyes widened in horror. "You think this is a joke?? This isn't extra bananas! This is a drink that could kill a horse!" He exclaimed, his voice rising in pitch and volume. "And besides, you can't even taste the banana! It's pure bitterness. Pure, unadulterated bitterness. It's like they dumped a whole bottle of black coffee in here!!"

Actually...

"Wait a minute..."

Screwball's mustache arms stopped flailing for a moment as he looked down at the glass. A realization slowly dawned on him.

___ laughed again, watching as the banana-man began to realize the reality of the situation. It was hard not to find it amusing, seeing him react so dramatically over something so silly. "What's wrong? Finally realizing you're a bit overdramatic?" She asked, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

The banana ignored her comment (for once), too busy staring at the glass in front of him. He sniffed at the liquid, trying to figure out what the hell it actually was. He had a feeling he knew what had happened, but he needed to be sure. "You know what this is...?" He asked, turning to look at the woman with a hint of dread in his voice. "... I think I have your drink. And you have mine."

His expression was a pure plead of 'give it back'

The woman couldn't help but burst out in laughter at his revelation. She had suspected something like this might have happened, but she didn't dare bring it up, too amused to ruin the moment. She lifted her glass, taking another sip of the banana daiquiri, her eyes sparkling with mirth. "You know, I was wondering why this drink was so much sweeter than usual. I just thought they used more sugar, or something."

Screwball let out a loud groan, feeling like the universe was playing a joke on him. "You thought it was sweeter than usual because it's a banana daiquiri! That's what they're supposed to taste like!" He exclaimed, gesturing wildly at the glass in her hand. "And THAT-" He pointed at the drink in front of him. "-is what bitter disappointment tastes like!"

The sarcastic woman rolled her eyes, unperturbed by his outburst. "Yeah, because we all know you're the expert on disappointing things."

Including their marriage, apparently.

She took another sip of her drink, relishing in the sweetness. "You know, maybe this is a sign. Maybe the universe is trying to tell you that you've been too sweet for too long. Maybe it's time to add a little bitterness to your life."

Screwball's mustache arms trembled with irritation. "Oh, HA HA. Very funny. And here I thought you couldn't get any more sarcastic." He shot back, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "And I'll have you know, I am not too sweet! I am the perfect amount of sweet! I am the Goldilocks of sweetness!" He paused for a moment, considering her comment about the universe. Maybe there was some truth to it. Or maybe the universe just thought it was funny to mess with his order.

She chuckled, savoring the taste of the banana daiquiri. "Goldilocks, huh? Well, if you're Goldilocks, does that make me the three bears? Because I can tell you right now, I won't let you sleep in my bed." She tilted her head to the side, regarding him with a mixture of amusement and annoyance. "And let's not kid ourselves. You're not just 'the perfect amount of sweet'. You're a diabetic coma waiting to happen."

His arms dropped in shock at her comeback. He hadn't expected her to be so quick with the responses. But, being the stubborn and competitive man he was, he wasn't going to let her have the last word. Particularly not after the comment about the diabetic coma. "Oh, please. You're one to talk, with your bitter attitude. If we were flavors, you'd be the equivalent of grapefruit juice mixed with raw onion. Or..." He looked down at the death-inducing drink. "This."

Huh.

Maybe the universe was really trying to tell them something.

Nah--

"Wow, that was a real zinger. Grapefruit juice mixed with raw onion? I'm shivering in my boots, really. And let me tell you something, floating banana man. At least I'm not a one-trick pony. I can do sweet andsour. You're just sweet. All the time. It's like you're afraid of spice or something." She replied.

He gave her a small glare. "I am not afraid of spice, I'll have you know. I just don't need it to feel alive." He retorted, his voice rising in pitch again. "And being sweet is not being a one-trick pony! It's being universally loved!"

He was coping so hard.

She raised an eyebrow, sipping her drink. "Universally loved, huh? Is that why we got divorced?" She didn't care if her sarcastic jabs were causing him to squirm. In fact, she was enjoying it immensely.

"Hey, that wasn't my fault! It was your fault for being so-" He paused, not wanting to give her the satisfaction of revealing his thoughts. He took a moment to try and find the right word, before finally settling on, "-so picky." He eyed her with a hint of feigned disgust. "I couldn't even enjoy a single meal without you complaining about the spices or the amount of sugar I used in the pie! Talk about a difficult wife!"

___ rolled her eyes, not buying his excuses for a second. "Oh, please. It wasn't my pickiness that ended our marriage. It was your inability to take anything seriously. Everything was a joke to you. Even our relationship." She took another sip of her drink, not bothering to sugarcoat her words. "And don't even get me started on how oblivious you were to my needs. You were too busy trying to be the center of attention to notice that I was miserable."

He knew she was right, deep down. But he wasn't about to admit that. Not to her.

"You know, maybe if you weren't so deadpan all the time, I would have taken you seriously!" He exclaimed, gesturing wildly. "You walk around with a constant frown on your face and a poker face! How am I supposed to know when you're being sarcastic or serious when you always look the same!?"

The woman's expression remained nonchalant, as it usually did. "Oh, I don't know. Maybe by paying a little more attention to my actual words instead of just how I look? Or maybe by actually listening to what I have to say instead of interrupting me with another stupid pun?"

"But that would require some actual effort on your part, which we both know isn't your strong suit."

Well...

"My puns are not stupid! They're brilliant, and hilarious, and everyone loves them!"

He was grasping at straws now, desperately trying to find something to counter her words. "And besides, how could I focus on what you were saying when you never smiled? How could I not make a pun when my wife looked like she never enjoyed anything I did??"

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize it was my responsibility to smile and laugh at every single one of your puns, no matter how bad they were. My bad for having a personality that's not centered around constant giggling and fawning over you." She leaned forward, resting her chin on her hand. "And let's not forget that younever listened to anything I said. You were always too busy trying to be the 'life of the party' to bother paying attention to me."

Screwball's mustache arms dropped in defeat. He knew he was losing this argument. But he wasn't ready to concede yet.

"Well, maybe I wouldn't have had to try so hard to be the life of the party if you weren't so darn miserable all the freaking time! Someone had to try and lift the mood around here, because you sure as hell weren't doing it!"

Yeah, really grasping at straws here.

Her sarcastic smile widened, sensing his desperation. "Oh, of course. It was my fault for not being as obnoxiously cheerful as you. I should have been laughing and dancing and singing and being the perfect little cheerful wife, just so you could feel like the funny man you think you are. How silly of me." She shook her head, sipping her drink once more. "But maybe, just maybe, you should have tried caring about my actual feelings instead of just worrying about whether or not I was laughing at your stupid jokes."

This conversation was not going the way he wanted it to go.

"I did care about your feelings, damn it! I just -" He paused, struggling to find the right words - "I just didn't know how to make you happy! Nothing I did seemed to be good enough! You were always complaining or criticizing or rolling your eyes!" He threw his hands in the air. "And maybe if you weren't so damn difficult to please, we wouldn't have separated!"

"Oh, that's rich. You think I was the difficult one? You're the one who couldn't take anything seriously! You were always trying to make jokes and puns out of every situation, even the ones that weren't laughing matters!" She leaned forward, her eyes narrowing. "Maybe if you had actually taken me seriously, we could have made our marriage work. But instead, you were too busy trying to make other people smile to notice that your own wife was miserable!"

Screwball's mustache arms trembled, his irritation escalating. "And maybe if you had been a little less deadpan all the time, I could have! It's hard to take someone seriously when they ALWAYS look like they're in a bad mood!" He gestured angrily, his voice rising in pitch. "I tried to make things work! But you were always so damn stoic and emotionless, it was like trying to have a conversation with a brick wall!"

"Oh, I see. So the problem wasn't that you were a total buffoon, it was that I wasn't fawning over your every pun like a fangirl..." She spoke, her tone still laced with sarcasm. "You know, I used to like how cheerful and carefree you were. You were like a breath of fresh air in a world of serious people. But then you took it too far, and it turned into a circus where I was supposed to be your applauding audience."

"I wasn't looking for an applauding audience! I just wanted you to have a little fun and laugh at my jokes, instead of sitting there like a damn lump of granite! And it's not my fault you couldn't take a joke!" He clenched his fists, trying to contain his anger. "And what's wrong with being cheerful, anyway? The world could use more people like me, who are able to find the funny in everything!"

"Oh, yeah. You're right. I'm sure the world needs more people who can turn a funeral into a comedy skit." She took another sip of her banana daiquiri, setting the glass back down with a clink. "And there's nothing wrong with being cheerful. But there's a difference between being cheerful and being obnoxious. You crossed that line a long time ago, mister pun-meister."

"Now hold on a minute! I was not obnoxious! I was just trying to bring some laughter and joy to a world that's way too serious!" He leaned forward, his voice rising in volume. 

"And so what if I made a joke at a funeral? It's not like the person was going to mind!"

Oh- That.. that was-

Despite herself, ___ couldn't help but laugh at that. Screwball's comment about the funeral had been just about the most inappropriate thing she had ever heard, and yet it had been hilarious in the most morbid way. "Okay, I'll admit that was pretty good." She said, shaking her head in amusement. "Maybe you're not completely hopeless after all."

Screwball stared at her in shock for a moment. It had been a long time since he had heard her laugh. Hearing her chuckle at his statement, no matter how dark it may have been, was a pleasant surprise. The corner of his mouth twitched, as he tried to suppress a smile. "You... you laughed. You actually laughed at my joke!"

Well, it wasn't exactly a 'joke' per se but who cares-

The woman rolled her eyes, still smirking. "Don't get too cocky, banana man. Just because I laughed doesn't mean I've suddenly become your fangirl." She swirled the drink in her glass, a hint of a genuine smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. "But, I have to admit, you do have moments of brilliance when you're not trying too hard to be a clown."

His arms practically danced in elation. He couldn't believe it. She was actually complimenting him! It was like a Christmas miracle!

Where's Santa when you need him?!?!

The smirk on her face widened as she watched Screwball's mustache do its victory dance. "Oh my god, stop. I'm going to be nauseous if you keep that up." She shook her head, struggling to keep a straight face. "You're like a little kid who just got a gold star for good behavior."

But he didn't care if she was mocking him. He was too busy feeling like he had just won the lottery. Hearing her laugh and compliment him, even if it was in a sarcastic manner, was music to his ears. And so leaned forward, his voice filled with excitement. "Hey, hey! Say something else! Keep going!"

She rolled her eyes, pretending to think for a moment. "Hmm... let's see. How about this: you actually have a decent sense of humor when you're not trying to force a joke every two seconds." She gave him an amused look. "That good enough for you, ex-husband?"

Those words were like a shot of adrenaline straight to Screwball's heart. He was practically swooning with delight. "That- That's the nicest thing you've said about me in years!" He exclaimed, his arms flying up in the air with joy. "Oh my god, I don't think I've ever heard you compliment me before! How did I manage to land a woman like you in the first place?"

Why indeed.

She feigned annoyance, even though she was secretly enjoying his reaction. "Oh, please. Don't act like you don't know why I married you in the first place. It wasn't for your stunning personality or your dashing good looks, that's for sure." She smiled into her drink, unable to keep a straight face. "I guess I just have a thing for banana-headed idiots who think they're funnier than they actually are."

The man froze. Did she just say... have?

He blinked, staring at her in disbelief. "Wait a second. Did you just say 'have'? As in... you still have a thing for banana-headed idiots who think they're funny?"

The thought that she still had feelings for him was too much for his heart to handle.

"Oh, did I say 'have'? My bad. I meant to say 'had'. Past tense."

Even as she spoke the words, though, she knew she wasn't being entirely truthful. She may have been divorced from Screwball, but she still had a weak spot for his annoying antics. And she did find enjoyment in the way he was hanging on her every word. "Why? Do you want it to be 'have' instead of 'had'?"

"Of course I do!" He blurted out, before quickly trying to regain his composure. "I mean, uh... it just sounded like you were saying you still had those... feelings for me or whatever." He forced a chuckle, trying to play it cool. "And who wouldn't want their ex-wife to still be into them, am I right?"

Trust me, a lot of people.

The woman couldn't help but laugh at his attempt at nonchalance. "Oh, so you're desperate for my approval now, are you?" She leaned in, her voice dropping to a playful tone. "You really want me to admit that I might still have at tiny place in my heart for your obnoxious clown persona, hm?"

Screwball's mustache arms trembled with excitement. He was in heaven right now. Hearing her admit that she might still have some feelings for him was like a dream come true. "Yes! Yes, that's exactly what I want!" He exclaimed, practically bouncing in his seat. "Please, just say it! Even a tiny spot in your heart is good enough for me!"

She smiled, her expression growing more fond. "You really are pathetic, you know that?" But she couldn't resist giving him what he wanted. She leaned in closer, her voice dropping to a sultry whisper. "Alright, you desperate little banana man. I mightstill have a slight... affection for your ridiculous antics. Satisfied now?"

He waved his hands in triumph, a giant grin spreading across his face. "Satisfied? Satisfied?!" He exclaimed, unable to contain himself. "I am ecstatic! I am more satisfied now than I have ever been with any of my puns! And let me tell you, I have written a lot of killer material!"

___ looked at Screwball's ecstatic reaction, unable to hold back a smile. Seeing him so happy because of her words was doing something strange to her heart. She thought she had hardened herself against him, but watching him revel in her admission of affection, made her realize something. He was just as desperate for approval and appreciation as she was.

So she took a deep breath, her voice softer than before. "You really just wanted me to see you, didn't you? You just wanted my approval, my appreciation..."

Screwball's mustache arms froze mid-celebration, and he looked at her in surprise. "What... what do you mean?" He asked, caught off guard by her insight into his desires.

She was right. All he had ever wanted from her was her approval, her admiration. He craved her attention and love more than anything in the universe. But he had also foolishly tried to win her over with his constant joking and antics, never realizing that she just wanted him to see her.

"I mean that all you ever wanted was for someone to see past your silly jokes and recognize you for who you really are. You just wanted someone to appreciate you, not just your humor." She set her glass down, her expression serious now. "You know, I never realized how lonely you must have been, trying to force me to laugh at your puns instead of actually talking to me."

It was safe to say that he was stunned. She had seen through his facade, straight down to his deepest insecurities. And now she was calling him out on it, making him realize that he had been a complete fool. He wanted to deny it, to throw out another pun or a joke to deflect the conversation. But deep down, he knew she was right. He had been hiding behind his jokes and pranks, trying to drown out his loneliness and insecurity.

And because of that, he also forgot about her.

The woman leaned in, her voice quiet and earnest. "You never listened to me, Screwball. You never really listened to what I wanted or needed. You just kept trying to make me laugh, to make me happy, instead of paying attention to what I wanted." She took a deep breath, trying to keep her emotions in check. "I never wanted you to be funny, I just wanted you to be my husband. To listen to me, to understand me, to see me for who I really was, not just a punchline."

She was right. He had been so focused on making her laugh that he hadn't paid any attention to her as a person. He hadn't cared about her feelings or her desires, he had just wanted her to be his audience, his applauding fan. He looked at her, his expression filled with shame. "I... I didn't know." He said quietly. "I never realized how much I was hurting you. I was just too caught up in my own need for approval and attention."

Her expression softened, seeing the remorse on his face. "I know. A lot of that was my fault too." She admitted, sighing. "I got so frustrated with your humor that I never took the time to tell you what I really needed. I should have been honest with you from the beginning."

She looked at him intently, her voice gentle.

"But it's not too late to fix this, you know. We can start over. We can actually communicate this time."

His heart skipped a beat at her words, hope and anxiety warring within him. He wanted this, more than anything, but he was also terrified of messing it up again. "If you... if you gave me another chance," He said, his voice soft and earnest, "I swear to you, I'd do everything I can to show you I'm able to see you. I'd be the partner you deserve, the husband I should have been from the start."

He gazed at her, his eyes searching hers.

"I'd prove to you that I'm not just a joke this time."

She reached out and gently placed her hand against his cheek (?), her touch softer than ever before. Her orbs met his, filled with a mixture of hope, skepticism, and a hint  of a tease.

"Then you better not slip up this time, future husband."

[myloveforhergoeson]

Lengthy comment left.

I make no apologies. ;)

oh my friend thank you so much!! literally just the sheer size of the comment in my email made my heart swell so so so much. i truly cannot put into words how much your support means to me :') thank you for giving me the space to share my story and talk about it all the time and taking precious time away from your day to dive into my content and share your thoughts <3

now, everything i have to say under the cut <3

"I love how Roxy was so excited when Gustavo mentioned going multiplatinum. Of course that would be her main focus. She's not interested in the sold out stadiums. She wants the awards."

yes!! while she's not worried about awards in the sense that collecting them means something in hollywood, its more about the reach of her music - someone nominating a song of hers for an award, what that implies about the impact and the effect of her words... good lord im crying just thinking about it 😭

"I love how you actually focused on another reason the New Town High song was a big deal - especially for Kendall. Being able to have one of his songs - preferably a love song - on his girlfriend's show would be a big deal for him. I actually wish the show focused on that angle a bit more."

thank you!! i know on here we like to joke about how season 3 and 4 kind of erase everyone's characterization from the first few seasons, but personally i've always felt this episode in particular also falls into that category. so weird for kendall to be a gustavo ass kisser, so i definitely needed to give him a reason if that's how i was going to write the story :)

kendall: write a song about love for my girlfriends show because im in love with her

roxy: what's that? you want to sing another song about my boyfriend?

"Okay, first of all, Storm in a Teacup or Rip-Off the Old Block are awesome song titles."

I'M TRYING SO HARD 😭 <- someone who could never be a songwriter. something early 2000s pop punk bands loved to do was take a common phrase and twist it into new meanings or make it punny or combine it with another phrase (i.e. i'm like a lawyer with the way i'm always trying to get you off) (i love you pete wentz) so that's my attempt at a small nod to her taking inspiration from the scene around her to write her music in minnesota <3 now that it's all pop, her content's shifted just a bit for more palatable and straightforward titles

"And I love the way she immediately starts thinking about what her dad used to do for her when she was sick and immediately apply it to James. It was a very sweet touch."

in my first draft james actually fought her a bit more about taking care of him because he really didn't want her to get sick! but when i was writing out the parts where she was taking care of him i was thinking 'she's 17 where did she learn all of this?' and there's only one person that could've been LMAO so i took their back and forth out and made it more narrative, glad you thought it was a sweet touch :)

"And I love how James fell asleep on her. Shows how comfortable he is with her. (Also, the falling asleep in the middle of a conversation... that's my dad sometimes - the only difference is James doesn't snore.)"

i regret to inform you james diamond does snore but i cut it out of the final drift. at the end of the chapter when james makes fun of her for being a double dipper the conversation was essentially

james: rox! gross!

roxy: you literally just kissed me with tongue? and don't act like you're so perfect - you literally snore so loud you big jerk

james: don't you ever imply that i snore again!

roxy: imply? i'm stating it as fact

which was not as good as what i came up with afterward hehe

"Hallelujah! Thank you, Jesus! Communication wins out in the end!"

😭 me when i project my communication issues onto my oc and then fix them 😭

"Why do I suddenly want Dak to appear again so Roxy can rub her newfound happiness in his face?"

i want dak to come back so bad (i say as the author of this story like i don't make the decisions) because i miss writing him aghhhh ! he will at some point some time eventually i just need to make up my mind about when. i have a few ideas but i'm not really married to any just yet. same with stephanie!! when will she return from the war!!!!!

"Oh. Then the jerks from Roxy's past had to come and ruin it. Once again, I shall like to offer my services in dealing with the douches. Maybe the guys and Gustavo could team up and destroy their career before it can even take off. Maybe something a la what they did to WayneWayne is in order..."

no comment. just love your ideas sm!

thank you so so so much again! <333

[dezmondmyles]

oops. forgot to add to the punny protocreed post bc i’m atill asking atm, but i’m also currently asking why protocreed on chinese lofter’s called AD钙奶好 (“ad calcium milk is good")! AD钙奶‘s literally just a chinese calcium milk brand and apparently used bc it has alex and des’s first letters LMAO, so possibly just saying the crossover and pairing is sweet or something? (also prototype 2's protagonist james heller is nicknamed. "蛋叔" (uncle egg) and "卤蛋" (soy egg) bc he's bald, i'm 💀💀💀)

english speakers: we're gonna blend their names together and have the pun be a type of nut haha :) chinese speakers: what if they were dairy actually?

[brionysea]

are u brionysea because the sea is brine

ooh, origin story time!

my name is briony, and when i was younger, it tended to be a toss up of whether people pronounced the "o" or not. i didn't really have a preference either way. i generally prefer my nickname, and now that i'm an adult who gets to introduce myself instead of being surrounded by people who've just known me since i was 5, i either go for that or "briny". it's a bit more flowy

anyway, this one time when i was in secondary school, they were playing that one beatles song about a yellow submarine in lessons. music, specifically. i think we must have had a substitute teacher because they let us get away with all sorts of stuff that the normal ones wouldn't. so the song was playing while i was trying to do my work and every time the line about "briny sea" played, my head snapped up instinctively because it sounded like someone was saying my name

i was mostly annoyed at the time (not helped by my friends laughing about it - i was also a pretty irritable child in general, lmao), but looking back, it is pretty funny. more importantly, it's punny, which makes it perfect for tumblr!

[3xquisit3sacrific3]

Tw for ed and sh under the cut (haha punny) just rants nothing gorey or anything

It's been 12 hrs since I've last eaten, I'd be happy if it were a fucking choice but nooo my dad went to get my sister a rabbit instead of getting me food so I'm just sitting and waiting to eat bc I have nothing here and have had nothing here for days.

I said I would cvt my forearms until AFTER I went to the concert I'm going to on Friday but apparently I can't keep promises to myself unless they're food related lmao

[castle-dominion]

castle 5x15 target. Plot heavy babes. I remember seeing gifs from this ep & when I saw that this was the one I got super excited. Good thing I have an extra 15 minutes on my schedule.

The intro was great. here's the transcript: A man runs through an alley, avoiding puddles and trying not to fall. He does, but he’s up in a second and continuing his run. He jumps over a homeless man and into the street. There’s a van racing toward him, but he just takes a stance and starts shooting at it. Despite taking several hits, the van doesn’t stop. It plows right into the man. Why doesn't he get out of the way tho? he shot as much as she could

RC: Ah. The student becomes – (he chews and she waits) – the failed student. The dropout. You fed her this? (he grimaces) Mother, you are forever forbidden from practicing the art of pancake-do(ugh)

RC: Like Simba in The Lion King. It’s the circle of life.

I didn't know shoes did that irl... RC: Yeah, but I wouldn’t be okay with that. I don’t want to see where she goes. What other birds of prey are out there, or what other nests, or – btw becks is pretty man vs van lol Wow. I know we saw it but still.

Jan. New name for this uniformed officer. nice gun! Columbia? *concerned for his daughter* don't much like Bram stoker? Lmao (oh wow

BS: (dryly) Witty. I’ve never heard that one before. I grew up with a punny name. Joy. People said "you must be a joyful person" whenever they would meet me for the first time. I had depression. (not diagnosed yet ofc but still.)

Ah. Overly familiar. He threatened to kill you? Bro, you have authority behind you, this is not the time to be flirting. Vampires ARE in right now, just like a few seasons ago when ryan's ex girlfriend got them into a website

KR: *whistles* Look at this building. Hasim was living large for a college student. JE: Yeah, add that to the list of things about this dude that don’t add up. His records say he started as a freshman at 24. Now who does that? Me, in college: You would be surprised at the variance in age. But then again there is typically a lull. You either go in right after high school (or after a gap year) but then there are less ppl in there for a bit, & then they start coming back at maybe 30, 35. The majority of students I know in my term between 21 & 30 are international students. A lot of them have taken classes at home in the phillipenes & some are using a student visa to start immigration. Ofc the 24yo I do know who is not filipino was a meth addict & has a 3yo son so,, that's another explanation

empty place nope nvm just clean, that place is full of punching bags & stuff. Like esposito's. WOAH THAT IS A ... NICE.. CASE OF GUNS. Not locked or anything??? is this man insane? KR: Uh, yeah. And if his black belt skills didn’t get it done he always had this. light years measure distance...

only 24 & in special forces swiss bank accounts, as usual Nice hair on esposito RC: (shrugs) Maybe Jack Bauer was driving.

KIDNAPPING

ryan's shirt was pink in the other lighting & these stripes are interesting

These poor poor fellows, their daughter got abducted. I mean I like his tie they both look good... but this is sad bro the cops didn't know he was a discreet bodyguard

Agent Harris.

KB: Scared. Devastated. AH: Okay, that’s good. RC: It is? AH: It beats angry or defensive. They want to be helpful and honest,

RC: I've considered it

If the roommate wasn't listening too hard, science fiction is related enough to science. Could clip: It has the word in it Which I still haven't read XD

Oh NO I'm sure she can help solve the case... nice ringtone lol OH NO IT WAS ALEXIS lol nice pic of dad is sara's phone also there?

RC earlier: Oh, yeah. I just – can’t imagine what they’re going through right now. RC now: *his daughter was ALSO kidnapped*

Harris: Easier to take her than.. *looks at castle* not

Looks like a drug smuggler tbh Ah he fled. Could be political. If they find out she is the daughter of a rich novelist then they might use sara for political stuff & alexis for ransom.

Gates will just see friends comforting each other, it's fine

Oof they all watch him leave... KR: It’s Alexis. He’s gotta be wrecked. Hell, I’m wrecked. allexis AND Sara

MR: No, no, no. I’m not just saying this. She’s going to be all right. I feel it in my heart and my heart is never wrong. RC: What about your first marriage? MR: Well... RC: And your second? MR: Okay, fine. Fine. Occasionally my heart is wrong, but it is not in this case.

Plainclothes & unmarked, wise decision.

Aww looking at her school photos NO SHE HAS GIVEN INFORMATION ABOUT WHERE & WHEN SHE SKATES BEFORE NO NO FREAKING IDIOT ASDJFKLSDFASHGSDCJF

RC: Don’t. (she goes to respond, but doesn’t) Don’t promise me you’ll find her unless you can do it. Because … (he pauses, then his voice breaks) … I would never forgive you. (she’s quiet) Any more than I’d ever forgive myself.

It is already late, what's going on?

LT my beloved

No, she didn't call be she has no GOOD news, she might not have bad news either. If she was dead, she'd call, if she was alive, she'd call, if they are not sure, they'd rather keep him in the dark. Probs should stay home, don't come.

See what? Do they KNOW what they will see?

DP & camera crew & editing & all this stuff did really great. The way lanie stops him it is so important to me, the movement the camera the voice, I might clip this it is painful & beautiful

a+ like me! I should donate blood again. I need more iron tho. Your baby hhhhhh castle crying sdjsldkfsdjfksdfljsldfjk Castle they know how to do this

Castle should go hug the other couple. He has worked with the police, he can support them in knowing the cops are succeeding, they can support him in being emotionally distraught parents together.

Truck pod? Why are the lamps on? ig so the girls can find them & don't freak out. Why didn't they get dropped on the bed initially tho? instead of waking up on the floor?

I JUST GOT CALLED IN FOR WORK GOSH HECK IT. & I DIDN'T HAVE TIME TO TRY TO CATCH THE BUS THAT WOULD GET ME THERE HALF AN HOUR EARLY SO I'M GOING TO HAVE ONLY FIVE MINUTES TO GET IN, IRON MY CLOTHES, CHANGE, & GET ON THE LINE. GRRRR

I'm back.

I like her accent Ooh a course on security Both your dads are rich Wow alexis has Some Shoes (& also rings) At least they gave you clothes & towels.... & food

Ooh that car stuff sounds cool but I don't understand any of it

You know they want you alive, you know this room has a washroom Ryan looking nice ngl I genuinely thought that Ryan meant he was dead

You would... like a minute with him? Good, he's the dad, maybe he can get emotion on his side I'm not a cop This is SO SO SO intimidating. this is GOOD WHAT THE CRAP (it might be,, traumatizing to torture someone)

No thanks my adrenaline will suffice

Nice telescope

relationship w/o eye contact lmao. I mean, audio amiright?

KB: Tell me what happened with Douglas Stevens. RC: RC: I appealed to his humanity. KB: KB: I didn’t think you had that side to you. RC: Well, when it comes to the people I love, I do.

My mother knows a little bit of arabic. Like, ten words

Didn't he see the cams on his telescope? I like how the fbi yelled out that they had a search warrant

Tiny person!

Then why did they say "return to your post we have visitors" if they were not the fbi visiting the farmhouse?

(caskett double breasted jacket) WHY would they leave the jackets? why would they take them off? OH MY GOODNESS HOLY CRAP WHY WOULD THEY TORTURE HIM? HOW DOES THE FBI NOT KNOW?

Through the floor? The floor is already breaking, maybe you could use the lid of the toilet tank as a shovel

I mean, you aren't at square one, you just have no squares after this

I mean you know the theory & even if it takes hours... Sara YOU were the one who took the kidnapping course take off your shoes to be quiet Is this real-time footage? Why is the phone unlocked? The person it belongs to must be coming back soon *uses skype instead of calling her dad* Plus, did she have to log in? No it is an untitled caller Girl you have like, a good 15% left Girl take the phone with you maybe, esp if you happen to find a window or a person's face

that was NOT (our) ryan saying that lol the cant FUDGING PARIS the rooftop this is incredible

the CREDITS MUSIC

[scribblue]

Season Three Reactions:

-oh damn, time skip. Have to say I don't really understand why they don't have powers/their weapons anymore but maybe I missed something in the ep before this? Or I'm overthinking it lmao.

-zanes dad died off screen?? Noooo :,^( I wish they had given that more of a moment

-Cyrus borg is so cool ajdncnd also i love punny names like that

-not the forced love triangle. Nya you literally didnt show any interest in cole before the computer told you you should, theres no reason for this– also don't act like its such a hard decision. She's very under-utilized this season in general too

-Zane and pixal sharing a heart sTOPPP THATS PRECIOUS godiloveZane. Pixal is super cool too i love me some robots in love

-alright. I admit it. Sensei Garmadon has grown on me ABFBC i still dont agree with the design decision & the lack of a satisfyingly earned redemption arc but personality-wise I like the role he has in this season. (Also I got spoiled for the fact that he changes back at some point but idk when or how so i might be a lil more lenient bc of that AHAHA)

-him abandoning his no-fighting oath in favor of fighting for his son…. :,,,^) 

-I feel like this season is a bit rushed in places, and finding out its only 8 eps makes sense pfft. Like are we just gonna gloss over the ninja going to find lloyd on an island and making the decision to disperse his powers to the other ninja, in favor of a car chase that lasted for like the majority of an ep..? Just an odd pacing choice to me but I can't say that's exactly unexpected at this point 

-the space section was so cool tho, i'm a sucker for space-related content. Eating it up

-ZAAAAAANE <//3 SOBS. i already knew he was gonna "die" at some point & be resurrected but god that still pulls at my heart strings. I can't wait to see what his new body looks like in the next season 

All in all I really enjoyed this season! It took me a hot min to start it bc admittedly I was...genuinely upset over them changing Garm so drastically and I needed time to process/come to terms with that pfftjfjf. I watched the movie a bunch of times between my last update and now, and then blew through this season in a couple days. I'd say ninjago is becoming a special interest but honestly…. Its mostly Garmadon AHAHA

Anyway, hope you guys are enjoying listening to my rambles. Onto the next season!

Ninjago: Masters of Spinjitzu first watch

Finally started watching masters of spinjitzu (yes, I watched the movie before the show) and I'm gnawing on the floorboards like a rabid animal RAHHH

I wanted to start a thread to share some of my thoughts and reactions as I watch, for anyone that wants to hear 'em or to live vicariously through a new fan hehe

○ Note: I don't care too much about spoilers given that its an old show I've already gotten plenty of spoilers for, but I'd appreciate it if you kept big stuff vague in my comments! Also, there will be spoilers in this thread for any other first time watchers.

Pilot– s1 ep 13:

Okay so my expectations going into this was that it was going to be different from the movie, given how people talk about it online. Honestly I wasn't prepared for how different, but like– in a good way? I really love it so far, and also still love the movie (esp Garmadon), which is probably a byproduct of having seen it with zero context first. Ik a lot of ppl dont like the movie or have crits of it and that's very valid, but I'm really enjoying both of them for their differences.

Some rapid fire thoughts in no particular order (might be more organized next time):

- I really like how much development they're giving each ninja, that was something the movie def lacked.

- I had no idea what spinjitzu was and i was not expecting Ninja Tornados but i fuckinglovethatAHAHA

- Zane is my favorite ninja so far. I loved him in the movie too but the reveALLLL GOD. That was something I was spoiled for but it still hits so hard. Hes so me when I (love me some autism-coded robots). Honestly tho I rlly like the whole cast !!

-I mistakenly thought Nya and Jay were the siblings in the movie bc the dialogue rlly wasn't clear to me, but uh– yeahno AHAHAHA OOPS theyre cute though

-show!lloyd is.... growing on me! Slowly! I know he's got a long way to go and I'm sure he'll get there but his first few appearances was a lil whiny for my tastes. The fact that he's trying to follow in garms footsteps tho and garm doesnt want him too?? aUGH i love their whole dynamic so much.

- the fact that garmadon pronounces lloyd properly throws me all the way off cuz I'm so used to L'loyd PFFT

-I also didn't put it together that Lloyd Garmadon is meant to sound similar to Lord Garmadon. Idk how but it took someone literally saying it in an ep for me to realize

-I love how clear it is that garmadon cares for lloyd and would do literally anything for him but also the angst of him being infused w evil and knowing lloyd is destined to defeat him???? WHILE STILL BEING PROUD OF HIM??? unmatched. I love that so much

-I also just love garmadon's whole vibe but thats to be expected. Much less silly so far (with a few expections) but he's so interesting. I wish they did a lil more with his backstory in the movie. Imso brainrot over him

Anyway thats all for now I'll share more thinks as I watch hehehe

[mayorwhisper]

A piggy... bank... GET IT? IT'S A PIGGYBANK 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[carlyraejepsans]

holy shit biscia you're like the reincarnation of sans with how much you pun around

deliberdy is too fuckin' genius for this world holy shit...

for anyone who wasn't here when i had anon on and people just. sent me asks about skeleton pregnancy every two weeks LMAO. this wasn't a topic I was comfortable discussing, nor one that i thought would fit undertale's worldbuilding, so instead I made a pun about a stork union organizer who magically delivers babies for all monsterkind.

her name is Deliberdy, but credit where credit is due, that name is a development of the brilliant joke by @i-am-but-a-beta-fish when i asked for help naming her something punny

delphine ivery. her friends call her del. she's happily married to another bird monster named middy tern, who works as an educator and will spout effusively about how much she loves her wife at any opportunity. for this reason, del is also widely known as mid's wife.

she started out as a joke, but now that daemo is out in the wild, i think I'm gonna make stuff for her too. turn her into a proper oc and everything

[untouchabyeolman]

anyone remember those valentine’s day cards i sent out to mutuals/followers a couple years ago?

[randomstarmuffin]

Several hours after waking up to this news here are more prescient personal thoughts on it:

The worst one to me is Eddie Fender. This is just lazy to me. "Hi my name is Defence Attorney" no sorry it's absolutely hilarious when it's Deid Mann because that guy's been dead for years and isn't really an actual character so you can get away with that but this is like. This is Gregory's little guy. I have to run around with 18yo "Defender" ?????? No. And not only that but in conjunction with all the localization re: the era of the og triliogy through aai2 (yes i know aa4 came out first but in terms of the time period w/in the games) the convention was kind of always for the main characters specifically to be like [normal human name] [name that is possibly less normal but still plausible and also a big pun]. Like other than Phoenix and Dick, everyone else literally just has Some Guy names that aren't necessarily punny or dual meaning on their own--and *besides* that those are both still names AND they stand alone separately from their surnames (and vice versa) so it takes away nothing to only say "Mr. Wright", "Det. Gumshoe"--so making this (Ed)die-Fender pun *rely* on his entire full name back to back just doesn't fit to me, stylistically. I could write an essay on why Shields is the PERFECT name to play off who he is and who he is in relation to the Edgeworths but whatever. He deserves better. Also him having a more "serious" name that is nicknamed to something less so is important to me personally and you don't get that at ALL with Eddie sorry. Uncle Ray supremacy.

Then Eustace Winner lol. I. Like okay the thing is i actually can totally see him being a Eustace lmao and I'm biased bc Eustace Narnia is my fav earthborn Narnia character and I do enjoy that both he and Seb have huge character growth arcs in the form of becoming more mature and realizing how the world actually works and their places in it, so that's fine with me other than he's still Sebastian in my mind because that's his name lmao. But Winner? Straight up? Not anything clever or fun or whimsical to it??? Winner????? And honestly??? That doesn't even feel like the right vibe. He (and Blaise who I'm suddenly realizing also will have a different given name augh) don't really care about WINNING so much as being. Well. The best. Lol. And obviously I've only seen the fan translation, but tbh it undermines them as characters if their focus is about *Winning*? That's von Karma's whole deal, we already have that, and I think having the struggle with prosecutorial legacy and shit be similar but not The Same is so much more meaningful. Seb isn't like Franz or Miles!! So his arc isn't the exact same either!! It's not about the Perfect Spotless Record to Blaise, it's about the control and the power to not have to give a shit how scummy he comes off. So. Idk "Winner" also feels lazy to me.

Unfortunately for my hater sensibilities I actually think Verity Gavèlle fits her quite nicely lmao. I mean Justine Courtney is a superb 10/10 name and fits her to a T already but I do think out of everyone in the main cast of 2 this is FAR AND AWAY the best name choice, period. If they had to change it, then this actually both feels like they tried and also like it fits her character and thematically (i still think they're cowards for not committing to the bit of the fan translation like can you imagine that's a fucking phenomenal story idk I know i can't expect a corporation to care about that). I have less to say because this bothers me less but I do find it interesting to use the accent grave on the surname but name her Verity instead of Vérité? If you're already there? Although idk is Gavèlle even a real name maybe it's not French lol. Though Verity comes from there so..... whatever. Anyway fun of them to name her after my 13th age character who's named after French Trucy :3

Aside from them, I have Fear about whatever the hell they'll choose to be Simon Keyes' name, like. I figured out of everyone they'd be most pressed to rename him and Courtney since they've officially used both Simon and Courtney in the series before (actually I think Courtney twice? Definitely in tgaa but wasn't the teacher in dd named that too? idk it's been a while)

And the last thing I'll give them credit for is from the trailer it seems like Nicole Swift's surname is now Lloyd and I actually think if her name's like Tabitha Lloyd or something like that now that's actually a major pun Improvement, so well done, they've got one star from me for this lmao. That's most likely all they're gonna get, but it's something.

ANYWAY!! That's my long ass hater rant of reasons why the aai2 Capcom names aren't real (they are) and can't hurt me (they do). In non hater news, I am STOKED they're finally FINALLY releasing internationally, and the UI and quality of life updates look awesome I am most excited about those of anything.

Weird to have actual ace attorney news!!!!! So so weird. The ao3 characters tags for ace attorney will be even worst to try to skim through and parse now that they're even longer than they already were lmao. Yay aai2 reaching a wider audience!

ACE ATTORNEY INVESTIGATIONS CAPCOM NAMES ARENT REAL AND CANT HURT ME 😭😭😭