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chubbyheadquarters · 2 years ago

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Getting with Macaque

Genre: Romantic, slight Angst

Pronouns: Gender-Neutral

TW/CW: None

Character(s): 6-Eared Macaque-Liu Er Mihou

It'd be interesting, to say the least.

As we all know, Macaque's not one to trust easily. He's gotta ease his way into trusting you, so you'll have to be patient. He'll be a little coy and purposely confusing, but if you stick around, then his opinion on you will change a little bit.

When you met him and act all nice, he'll see it as a trick. He's been betrayed before and people have gone a great distance to fool him. He's not about to let that happen again. But he'll lower his guard just a little when he realizes that, yeah, you're just a nice person.

If you know Wukong, he's gonna use that to his advantage and use you as secret intel. If you don't, he can still use you to get to know Mk, which he proposes as meeting a new friend.

You, totally unaware of his secret plans, continue supporting him and cheering him on, giving him advice and are always willing to be there if he ever wants to vent or rant. He slowly starts to feel a bit bad. Here you are, being used by him, and you don't even notice.

He appreciates how patient you are with him, especially when it comes to him not talking about his past or motives. It's a sensitive topic, and though he won't say now, he knows he'll be able to tell you one day. Talking about his revenge on Wukong gets you curious, but you let him do his thing.

If you're into art and/or theatre, he's honestly really happy about it, though he tries not to show it. He's got a bad boy reputation to keep. Although, if you offer to help in any way, bad boy energy is gone and you two are planning and making stuff for his next play.

He's gonna train you. Part of the package deal. He says it's for safety reasons, and y'know what, he's partially telling the truth. He might need your help in battle afterall. Even if you're not strong, you can still act as a distraction. But part of him truly doesn't want you to get hurt, so he's gonna teach you how to kick some ass. He'll be a tease, but he'll always praise you when you do well.

Don't push yourself. He'd rather you take your time with training and get it as perfect as you can. After training with him, you would unconsciously look to him when you did well, waiting for his praise. It makes him feel warm inside, knowing how much you treasure his words.

When you talk to him about weight, maybe even wanting to lose it, he'll help you out if that's what you really want-But he's-So confused? Why? You're so soft and plush and everytime he holds you it's like he's in heaven. I'd like to think that he's open to every body type, but he tends to prefer a fuller/chubby partner.

If anyone messes with you, especially if it's because of your weight, they'll get what's coming to them. He'll embarrass them, scare them for a bit, make sure they learn their lesson. He'll comfort you, telling you that you're fine just the way you are. "Those idiots don't seem to know perfection...""Huh?"" Those guys are just a bunch of idiots." Cue blushing monkey.

At one point, he starts questioning if he really wants to keep doing this. He realizes he doesn't want to hurt you, but he had been planning his revenge for so long. He can't lose this chance. It was...REALLY conflicting for him. But he went through with it and it crushed you when everything came to light.

When you do find out, your conflicted and hurt expression makes him realize HOW MUCH he fucked up. He kept telling himself that his revenge was what mattered the most. He didn't need you. You'd leave him anyways. Everyone always does. But your words hurt him so much more than he thought they would.

"Everything we went through...was all a lie? I didn't mean anything to you? Was I just going to be another puppet? Y'know, I'm so used to being used by others, but... I never expected it from YOU..."

When you leave and don't come back, he's devastated. He tries to get over it with his bad old coping habits, but he just can't. Nothing's the same without you. He wants you back, but he knows it's not that simple, and it's not gonna be easy. He broke your trust, and you told him that was the most important thing in y'all's friendship.

He quickly notices how you linger at the entrance of the building when passing by during a walk or if you're heading somewhere else, as if you're pondering on going in, but you never do, always leaving with a look of sadness and betrayal. It takes a little while, but he finds a way to get you to come back, and he makes a play of the events that happened that day. It felt like a cruel joke, like he wanted you to relive that that day. It made you want to leave, but the ending was different.

"The warrior, heartbroken by the loss of his one true friend, decided to change for the better. And after time had passed, he went to them, and apologized with the hope of gaining their trust again."

You stayed behind when the show ended, conflicted about the play. You knew it was his message to you. An apology in the Macaque way. But this wasn't something he could simply apologize for- "Got room for one more?"

The two of you talk it out, him letting you vent about your feelings and how trust was a hard thing to earn back when it was broken. He apologized and admited that he had truly begun to see you as a friend. Someone he started to, in a sense, cherish.

Seeing him so vulnerable and open made you think about everything, and with a conflicted heart, you decided to give him one last chance, and that if he we're to blow it, he'd never see you again. And goodness he's so willing to make it up to you.

Slowly but surely, he starts gaining your trust back. He became a bit more open, emotional wise, but past wise still guarded. He took your feelings way more into consideration. In due time, you began to laugh with him, joke with him, even smile at him. Yeah, he's not going to lose your trust again. He doesn't ever want to let go of this warm feeling.

He'll see the confliction on your face when you happen to hear him talking about Wukong. You never butt in or try to stop him, knowing it's not your fight, but it still reminds you of that day.... He tries his best not to bring it up around you.

Before you're together, he'll flirt and say it's a joke, but he's testing the waters to see how you'll react. If it's positive, he'll continue. If it makes you uncomfortable, then he'll stop.

His tail will unconsciously move towards you, wrapping around you. When you mention it, he denies it with all sorts of excuses. You find it cute, but you usually keep it to yourself. Last time you called him cute, he went on a small rant on why he wasn't cute. Okay whatever Macaque ┐(￣ー￣)┌

When he's tired or just wants to be closer to you, he'll lean on you, just wanting to feel your warmth and comfort to get him through the rest of the day. Head on your shoulder, eyes closed and muscles relaxed.

This bitch fucking cuddles you to oblivion. He's not letting go. Once he's got you in his grasp, you better hope you won't have to be anywhere important anytime soon. And that you have snacks. You're his personal pillow now. I don't make the rules.

👏🏽Pet👏🏽the👏🏽monkey👏🏽Please do so. Brush his hair and hum a little song. That'll put him at peace. But better yet, simply run your hands through his hair, massage his head, and he's in heaven. He'll never get tired of your touch. It's so soft and he knows he's safe with you.

At one point, he will turn his glamour off around you. He's fucking scared of what you'll think, scared that you'll run off and hate him all over again-But when he feels your hands softly cup his cheeks and you give him a soft smile-He knows that you're the one. You two will cuddle that day, not leaving the room and enjoying each other's presence.

When you do get together, not much changes other than the fact that he's a bit more open with his affections. You guys we're already cuddling it up before. Still not super into PDA, but he'll show off every once in a while. Arm and tail around you more often and nicknames thrown out there. If anyone even dares to flirt with you, they'll get a harsh glare as a warning.

His nicknames for you are so sweet. "Moonlight", "Sweetheart ", "Sugar", " Beautiful/Handsome." Take your pick. Your nicknames for him consist of "Plum", "Honey", "Dear"-Maquack. God he was so surprised that you actually called him that. But that's usually reserved for when he's spacing out or angry. Snaps him back into reality.

Sorry if there's any spelling errors or if I missed something, I just wanted or make sure there was good enough context/flow to reading it and not randomly thrown out there. I hope the writings alright and that y'all enjoy. Wukong's up next!

#six eared macaque #lmk macaque #mk macaque #macaque x reader #lmk x reader #lmk x y/n #liu er mihou #chubby reader #macaque x chubby reader #lmk x chubby reader #lmk headcanons

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jumoonjae · 4 years ago

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Feelings

Pairings: Reader x Hyunjae x Q

Genre: Angst x Fluff

Warnings: None

Summary: A story of a love triangle (not really)

Having a guy as your best friend can really be tricky sometimes because when you're both single, you spent almost every time together and you somehow unconsciously developing feeling for him. It get worst when you enrolled to the same college right after high school. It was okay at the first two or three semester, you had each other by your side through thick and thin, knowing more every little thing about each other just like the back of your hand which resulting you to fell harder for him. Your biggest mistake was you were sure he'll never slip off from your finger.

But he did.

And you let him.

You felt the painful prick inside in every flesh of your heart just by the sight of his beautiful glimmering eyes every single time she walks by. You swallowed the pain that is in the form of a thorn and pretend you're not affected by it at all, and you thanked heaven for blessing you with the art of hiding your true feeling for him. You even encourage him to make a move on her just to make you facade more believable.

What a fool.

Because it was the only way for you to keep him as your best friend at least, just to keep him close to you even if he doesn't like you the way you like him. But how wrong you are.

He made a move to talk to her and she seems to be interested too. But then again who doesn't, Changmin is one of the most talented and charming person in the campus, everyone loves him even the lecturer. In no time, they were together, they were lover and you had to watch every single day he hold her like the way you always crave for, the affection, the looks and the kiss. But you smiled anyway, each time you met his eyes, or hers. She became your friend too, you couldn't hate her at all.

“I’m fine.” You lied one day when he hesitated to run straight to her or stay with you by the time she came into the view at the cafeteria.

“Go ahead spend time with your girlfriend.” You said nudging him with a smile.

“I’ll call you tonight.” He ruffles your hair with an apologetic frown which you shake your head to and he run to her while she waved at you so innocently and you waved back with the sincerest smile you could pull even when your heart dropped down to your stomach leaving it's place painfully empty.

He didn't call that night. Or texted. The frequent chatting and long conversation between you two started to die down until he barely contact you anymore. You missed him, but there's nothing you could do to have him back. There is nothing you can do.

Each day he spend his free time with her and barely had any time with you anymore. but you didn't want him to feel bad so you started to hang out with other people even if its never the same like when you're with him, it will never be the same. but you need to accept the fact that you couldn't keep him for yourself anymore, you want him to be happy even if its not with you, even if his happiness breaks your heart.

You need to let go because all those late night conversation that you both been sharing, all his problems that you can't fix for him, all his inner battle that never seems to settled. You think maybe she could help to put it to ease because you know you can't. if you could, you wouldn't have heard the same ranting every night. So you keep your distance with him just so you wont break his relationship, so you wont take away their happiness.

“That’s nice.” You heard someone spoke from your back as you done putting up the pictures you took as told by your mentor at the bulletin board where all the art student displayed their work. You look back and saw a tall guy admiring your work and you step back a little to stand next doing the same thing. It was the picture you took at the Han river during your night walk alone.

“Is this yours?” he asked pointing to the picture glancing at you then back to it.

“yeah.” You answered simply, looking at the still picture of the city lights taken by the bridge with blurry passer by.

“It feels so lonely, but peaceful at the same time.” He spoke and you smiled looking down, it was true what he said, you felt so lonely but is somehow made you feel calm that you thought maybe letting him go was the right thing. He's never been yours from the start.

“I'm Hyunjae by the way.” He held out his hand and you look up to his face which had the sweetest smile on that made you smile back and took his hand.

“I’m Y/N.”

Hyunjae took no time to be your friend, he was easy to talk to and you love his company. Slowly, you manage to bury your feeling for Changmin deeper day by day and Hyunjae did so much to replace him. Somehow he did it, he didn't have anything in common with Changmin but you like the challenge of knowing him anyway, it was always new thing every day, a pleasant surprise.

“Y/N.” Hyunjae chirped startling you in the process and he laugh at the way you flustered making you hit his shoulder lightly.

“What are you doing?” He asked taking a seat next to you at the cafeteria.

“Nothing, just editing these.” You pull the side of your laptop a little to show him your work and he lean over to take a closer look.

“You really are a talented photographer.” He complimented making you pushed his shoulder bashfully.

“hey i was wondering.” He leaned back to his seat pondering with his words, looking down to his hands while you paid full attention to him.

“I've got ticket for next week music festival.”

“Really? I didn't manage to get mine though, they've sold out weeks ago.” You frowned

“I got two ticket you know. So.. maybe.. you want to come with me?” you laughed at the way he adorably dragging his words and he grinned sheepishly.

“I’d love to.” You smiled and he did too staring into your eyes for a while before looking away bashfully. He had completely filled the void and help you put back you heart into its place, ready to love again. But you wait. You wait for it to heal perfectly so you can love Hyunjae with all of it without having Changmin ever crossing your mind anymore.

“You’re going with who?”

Changmin voice raised a little when you told him you're going to the music festival with Hyunjae. Its been a while since you both get to spend time with each other, you were finally feeling genuinely fine by it now that you have Hyunjae by your side. Its already the music festival week and Changmin probably didn’t want you to feel left out so he ask you to come along with his girlfriend. But when you said you already have a date, he was a little mad making you wondering, giving the sparks of feeling for him that you buried deep down a light. A dim light, but enough for it to slowly crawling back to the surface, but you ignore it.

“Why?” You asked, still walking a step ahead from him to the cafeteria.

“Since when do you became close with him?”

“Just recently, wait. It think its been two months.” You shrugged and he exhaled.

“Do you like him?” He asked suddenly making you stop on your track stepping a little to the side before turning back to look at him questioningly. You were actually asking him mentally ‘Are you jealous?’ but another word came out instead.

“He's a nice guy and what's wrong with that?”

“Be honest, you hang out with him just because i started dating aren't you?” you were taken aback a little by his words. It was true at first, you were hanging out with Hyunjae so you didn't feel empty anymore. But when time passed, he's been growing so much in you and you're started to fall for him.

“What? No Ji Changmin, as far as I could remember I have the right to date anyone I want my friend.”

“What?” He raised his voice again and you hissed at him playfully rolling your eyes.

“Hey.” You heard Hyunjae from the back snaking his hands around your waist pulling you close to him until your back touches his front and you look up to him instantly with a big smile.

“Hey you.” You coos ignoring Changmin who was crossing his arms on his chest in annoyance by the sight of Hyunjae hands casually touch you.

“I’ll pick you up tonight at eight okay.” He smiled sweetly making the butterflies inside you to rise full with pride.

“Alright I see you tonight.” You touch his shoulder trailing your hand down to his chest as he peck your cheek before letting him run to his friends. You look back to Changmin who was raising his eyebrow.

“What?” you chuckle continue walking to the cafeteria.

“I don't like him.” He stated

“that’s not nice Changmin, you barely know the guy.”

“its just been two month and he already being touchy with you and you let him kiss you.”

“It just a peck Changmin. Stop being over protective.” You shake your head trying to laugh him off.

“And besides, two month is enough even for us to sleep together.” You shrugged making his eyes widen in pure shock at your words.

“You what?!”

“I was just kidding you idiot.”

It has been full three month since Hyunjae first talked to you and you decided to confess to him. Your feeling for him was crystal clear and you had no doubt about his feeling for you. He had untie the tight knot that was constantly pulled every time you saw Changmin with his girlfriend until you felt nothing but happy for them.

In those three months, Changmin had slowly fades from you even when he was right in front of you or when they were standing in the same room, the first who catches you attention was no longer Changmin, it was Hyunjae. You were lying if the feeling for him had completely gone, but your feeling for Hyunjae were much more prominent and you were happy

“Are you going to the trip to see the cherry blossom?” Hyunjae asked when you both were having lunch at your usual spot at the cafeteria.

“I think so.” You answered still checking the picture you took leaving your food untouched.

“Yah, enough with the camera.” He whined attempting to take the camera away from your hand but you saw what he was going to do and turn your back on him with a giggle.

“Wait, I need to delete some picture first or else I’m going to forget which one to delete.” You reason out stopping him from taking it away.

“let me see then.” He leaned his chin on your shoulder and you showed it to him one by one.

“No don’t delete that, its beautiful.” He pointed out at the picture of the blurry crowd you took while you both was walking down the Itaewon streets and you looked to your side until your lips almost brushed his cheek, but he backed away just enough to give you space to turn your body.

“Its kind a blurry don't you think?” You showed a few picture with the same scenery until your head bumped into each other when you lean in trying to show him and you both laughed. his hand caressed the spot where his head had bumped.

“You always took a blurry picture and its nice, its your style, or signature.” He said while patting your head and you smile at him, thanking him for his sweet words.

“You want to go with me?” He asked again since you didn’t answer him yet, and you chuckle looking up to him, he was smiling like an angel waiting for you to answer.

“Who else am i going with.” You smiled and he smile back giddily crushing you with his bear hug.

“But why did you sounds like i am the only option? What about your friends?” he asked pulling his body away for a little with a frown.

“If you want me to go with them, then i’ll go with them.” You shrugged making him whined.

“no. I was just asking.” He pulled you back to his hug and you giggled ruffling his hair.

“I’m planning to take my mom’s car so we wont have to rush the bus and trains.” He let you go, pulling your food closer to you gesturing you to start eating and you complied by placing your camera on the table.

“What? Its going to more exciting taking trains and bus with other students don’t you think?” you suggested, imagining you taking picture of people having fun in the train.

“Hadong is a huge place, the last bus going to leave at six. You think its enough time? Besides i want to watch the stars from there, they said the sky is the prettiest there during the night.”

“We can spend the night there and catch the bus next morning.” You suggested making him stop mixing his rice looking at you all flustered.

“What?” you teased bumping your shoulder into his.

“If you okay with it then why not.” He scratch the back of his head nervously and a big smile creep on your face just by the sight of his giddiness. You turn back to your food and ate in silence with him doing the same. He really had been growing so much in you.

Far back from the corner of the cafeteria, there stood Changmin witnessing everything that tug something painful inside of him. He shake the feeling away and walked to the opposite side of your spot sitting with his back facing you and Hyunjae trying so hard to ignore the growing pain inside of him.

The long ride to Hadong was fun just like you imagined, all the students starts singing out of no where using anything as an instrument and you had a good laugh when some of then cracking the most stupid joke. You took some picture here and there and the result came out well. You and Hyunjae took extra clothes just as planned to spend the night and you really excited to see the whole thing.

It was beautiful, the place was filled with pink cherry blossom blooming beautifully and the way the flower flew when the wind blow just like a snow. Cherry blossom snow. It really felt like a movie with you standing under a cherry blossom tree with Hyunjae holding your waist while you taking picture. He will rest his chin on your shoulder everytime you show the result to him. If you had to describe how your feeling for Hyunjae, you will call it a blooming cheery blossoms.

“watch your step, there’s plenty of rocks and pebbles along the way.” He said handing you your twisted potato after helping you settles on the bench not far from where you both were standing.

You both walked until the end of the cherry blossom path where you saw a river and there's a kayak booth which you pull Hyunjae sleeves running a little in excitement, wanting to give it a try with Hyunjae giggling while being dragged by you.

But a voice stopped you from running, it was a familiar voice. You look back to see Changmin and his girlfriend rushing to both of you.

“What in the hell are you doing?” he huffed annoyingly at you not even sparing any look to your boyfriend and you were offended by the way he spoke.

“What does that supposed to mean?”

“you missed the bus.”

“And you're not?” You spat back annoyingly taking a step forward, your eyebrow twitched and he scoffed at your response thickening the tension between both of you.

He was beginning to get into your nerve since you started to date Hyunjae.

“We were there at the bus but he insisted waiting for both of you.” His girlfriend explained and you couldn't help to feel bad for her.

“We were planning to stay the night.” Hyunjae stepped forward pulling you back closer to him and you noticed the frown on Changmin's face when he did that. Was that jealousy? Had he figured that he had feelings for you too? But Hyunjae's grip on your arm pulled you out from that thoughts and you look back to him pressing your lips into a thin line, forming a smile.

“We will take the first bus tomorrow morning.” You said to Changmin's girlfriend trying to assure her by rubbing her arm and she nod with a smile.

“Okay where are you going to crash for tonight?” changmin spat with his annoying tone that really got into your nerve.

“I’ve booked a place for us, but i'm sure they have more place.”

“We should stick together.”

“Fine.”

For the first time in your life, you feel annoyed by Changmin's presence where he constantly interfere any attempted affection that you and Hyunjae trying to make while he trying to show off his own with his girlfriend which end up annoying her too.

“We should stop by the store first.” Hyunjae suggested and you nod while waiting for the bus to the motel.

“I'm tired, can we just go straight to the motel.” Changmin whined and you rolled your eyes shooting him an annoyed look and he just shrugged.

“you two can check in first, they had some place for barbeque at the garden by the hotel and we were planning to have one while watching the stars.” You told his girlfriend and she looked excited.

“So romantic.” she coos and you lean your shoulder to Hyunjae who was smiling at you.

“They said the night sky are the best here.” He throw his hand on your shoulder pulling you closer to him letting you snuggles to his chest.

“You can join us if you want.” he suggested to Changmin and his girlfriend which you shot him a look with a frown.

“What? Its going to be fun and i can get to know your best friend more.” He whispered and you melted at the way how hard he tried to get close to your best friend.

“Thank you.” You caress his hands with your thumb smiling up to him and he smiles back like he always did.

The night went well, but the conversation was mainly between you and Hyunjae while Changmin and his girlfriend seems to fall into silence only talk when being asked. You stop Hyunjae from trying to get close to Changmin by snuggling with him under the blanket where you brought just for the occasion while watching the stars.

You admired him while he was admiring the scattered stars up in the sky, looking at it like he was in love with it just like you're in love with him.

“Y/N can you walk me to my room for a while?” Changmin snaps you away from the most beautiful view and you sighed. He was tipsy from drinking a little too much and you could tell.

“Its okay, I'll clean this up and meet you at the room right after.” Hyunjae said helping you getting up and you nod letting him peck your forehead before leading Changmin into the building.

“Are you going to sleep with him?” Changmin asked suddenly after you both were inside the building.

“Yes.” You answered in a heartbeat even if you don't know whether Hyunjae is having the same idea with you, but you admit it anyway just so Changmin will stop bothering you.

“If i told you not to would you listen to me?” he stop walking making you stop turning your body fully to face him.

“Why?”

“Because I love you.” He said, petrifying you with his words, it was the word you had been waiting for years, a words that you always pray for so he will uttered it to you one day. a word that you’ve been dying to hear.

But that was before, that was you dream before Hyunjae and you were glad that it doesn't affect you like the way you thought it will be.

“I know you love me too. I know you love me since so long and i'm sorry for pretending that i didn't see it.” He took a few step closer to you but you didn't flinch. There were disappointment, but it doesn’t matter to you anymore. you didn’t care why he didn't do anything about it and keep it to himself. but you were curious.

“Why did you date her if you knew?”

“Because i thought i didn't feel the same way.” You exhaled at his answer looking down not knowing what to say or what to do with that information. But then he lift your chin with his index finger and leaned closer to kiss you.

You let him kiss you not knowing there's a pair of eyes that has been witnessing everything. When you kissed Changmin back, he shut his eyes only to see you smile to the kiss the moment he open his eyes. Couldn’t bear the pain in his chest anymore, he walked away from the scene.

“Changmin we had our chance.” You slowly push his body away from you, pulling yourself away from the dizzying kiss. It put your mind into a great mess, that your mind keeps buzzing like a static radio. but when other thing was blurry and hazy, one thing that stood out so clear, just like the picture you always took. it was your feeling for Hyunjae.

“Y/N please.” He took your hand placing it on his chest.

“You had your chance in all those years to confess but you didn't.” You let go of his hands holding your own.

“I'm not blaming you entirely because its my fault too for being a coward. But we had our chance Changmin, and we blew it.”

“and i'm in love with somebody else.”

“i’m in love with Hyunjae.”

“He saw us kissed.”

“No.”

“He just left.”

“You asshole. It was intentional wasn't it?”

“I just had to.”

“Hyunjae.” You called softly after entering the room that you both shared. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, looking down to his hands. Nervousness starting to creep inside you by the sight and the silence from him. You stood there by the door looking down at your feet, hands fidgeting with the rim of your dress.

“You should sleep, we need to catch the first bus in the morning.” He said standing up with blanket on his hands walking to the couch just right next to the bed without looking at you. But you didn’t budge, still looking down like a kid getting scolded by their parents for causing a big trouble.

You bit your lips hard when tears starts to brimmed in your eyes. You didn’t even dare to blink, not wanting the tears to fall.

“I’m tired, can you turn off the light please.” He said and you look up to where he already lay down, covering his body using the blanket, his back facing you. You hold your sniffles and do as told leaving the room in pitch black.

“Hyunjae.” Your voice cracked and you swallow hard to make it easier your you to speak.

“I-I am so-”

“I’m tired Y/N. Please, let me rest. Its been a long day.” He cut your words, but not sharp enough. But it still hurts you. It hurts you because you hurt him and you didn’t even know how to explain.

With the help of the lights peeking through the window, you slowly walked to your bag and take your clean clothes and toiletries.

You turn on the shower letting the warm water run down your skin while you stood there looking into spaces not long before you break down, covering your mouth not wanting to be heard by him. It was the longest you ever cried, longer than the day Changmin asked his girlfriend out. It was even longer than when you bid your goodbye to your parents at the airport.

God, how much you love him, and now you’re losing him.

Hyunjae haven't spoke a word to you since the bus ride back to the city and you didn't dare to speak to him either. The ride was awfully silent and you could hear Changmin and his girlfriend giggled from the back seat. You couldn't help to think that they were mocking you both but you know they weren't. You suddenly feels empty without Hyunjae's constantly touching you like he always did when he's being excited over something or just feeling like touching you, or teasing you. He didn't even whined when you too immersed into the picture you took with your camera. You felt emptier than the time Changmin left you.

You didn't blame him for cutting every connection between you two after breaking up with you over a text and let you fall back to the loneliness. You didn't blame Changmin for not even consoling you after he heard the news of your break up with Hyunjae. You blame yourself for being you, you blame yourself for existing, for hurting people who had no other intention but to love you and you deserve the resentment that you get from him. You blame yourself for not figuring out your feelings for Hyunjae and didn't try hard enough to make him stay.

You were back to zero, alone at the cafeteria watching people and love birds walking around then get back to your pictures on your laptop ignoring the painful void inside of your heart.

You bumped into him the day after the break up, you didn't look away when you both walk past each other at the hall, neither did him. But he seems to had those indifferent look as soon as his eyes laid on you and you try hard not to show too much emotion when he's around. But it was hard, because you always saw him even when you’re not looking.

“Y/N, the portfolio that you emailed me. It was perfect. The four season portfolio.” Your mentor spoke when he saw you just about started to pack your things while your other class mate had already left. Its your routine since the break up, so you wont bumping into Hyunjae because your afternoon class always ends at the same time as his.

“It wasn't complete yet Mr Yoon. I was waiting for your feedback for anything that i should fix or re-edit.” You look up to him slinging your bag on your shoulder.

“I’ll send you my feedback later.” He said and you give him a bow.

“Y/N, I was wondering.” Mr. Yoon voice stopped you from turning on your heels and you look at him. waiting for him to finish his sentence.

“have you been fine these day?” He asked leaning his back on the desk, crossing his arm on his chest.

“Yes. Why do you ask Mr.Yoon?”

“I knew you're running a photography blog for a long time, i have to admit it was wonderful and i even think that some of the photo you posted there should have come in with the portfolio. But you recent photo, they seems lonely.” He stop when you looked down. He must have seen your blog update, but you didn't know that it was obvious. He's your mentor and also one of the psychology professor that taught about behavior, of course he could see it.

“I’m fine Mr.Yoon.” you finally look up to him with a forced smile. “Its just life-” your breath hitched and you swallowed hard trying not to choke on your own words.

“Its just life, those ups and down.” You inhaled looking back down avoiding his gaze.

“Don’t let yourself dwell too long in it Y/N. Its okay to look back sometimes, it hard. Even if our shoes don't fit, we had our own obstacle in life, we have our own way to move on. But i hope you'll cope.” You smile to his words before bowing to him as he bid you goodbye.

You went to Itaewon alone that night taking the path that both of you and Hyunjae had been taking, tracing back all the fond memories that you shared. You even went back to Hadong alone on the weekend doing the same thing you did with him, taking picture of empty spot where it used to be filled by him. It was sad. But you need to cope. Once you had your best friend, then you have Hyunjae. But when they both left, you had nothing. Only their memories. But the most prominent one is Hyunjae's. You want to relive them for the last time before moving on.

Its the hardest every time he saw you smiling and laughing at your friend's joke. He missed that and he still want to be the one who make you laugh. He hate you for being happy right after the break up, did you really moved on that fast? Did you really don't have any feeling for him? Or did you really using him to get back to Changmin?

But there were also time when he saw you sitting alone at the cafeteria, watching people walks by with sad eyes before going back to your laptop or your camera leaving your food untouched and it made his stomach sinks in guilt. The sight take him back to the night where he heard your sniffles echoes inside the bathroom that the sound of the shower couldn’t hide.

You loved someone else and its no point to keep you if your heart is unobtainable from the start.

“Hyung, why did you break up with Y/N?” Juyeon asked when he saw you walk into the cafeteria alone with your hands full with books and headphones on. He didn't want to answer that question. He's been dreading to answer when everyone asked, he's tired of hearing people saying that you both look good together and all.

“We're taking a break.”

Its the only thing he could came up with without humiliating you or him. Its sounds like he was expecting you to come back to him, it was an open answer, it was a message for you maybe one day when you heard what he said regarding your relationship, maybe. Just maybe you change your mind and come back to him.

It was pathetic and he know it, but the romance was short, so short that he wanted more. While he was trying to look away from staring at you, he saw Changmin seated a few table away from where he was and he was expecting Changmin to get up and help you with the pile of books on your hand.

But instead, Changmin didn't even look up from his phone and you didn't even spare him a glance, just walking straight to the far corner of the cafeteria settling your stuff on the table, sitting down and played with your phone without looking around.

“Hyung?” Juyeon snaps him away from staring at you and stammered at the younger guy.

“Get back with her if you want to keep looking at her like that.” He stated and Hyunjae just shrugged him off.

‘Weird' he thought, he swears he saw you kissed Changmin back that night. You even smiled to the kiss, but why are you both giving each other a cold shoulder. Why aren't you both together when Changmin said he loves you and he said you love him too. It hurt him when you didn't even denied it, he hate you for kissing him when you were his girlfriend.

He heard your voice in the art studio after helping a random girl who was carrying too much of a canvas for painting she said. He stood there just like the other day when you were talking to your professor.

“Is it true that everybody dies alone?” You asked, you sounded so weak, the light in your eyes faded by each passing day. At first he thought you were still saddened by the way Changmin still with his girlfriend but when he confront Changmin one day.

“We had our chance but I blew it. She's in love with someone else.” -changmin

But that is all what he get from the guy, Changmin still didn't want to talk to him. He started to think that you love him, not Changmin. But he wasn't really sure either, if your relationships mattered to you, you should have talk him out not ignoring him, so he did the same. Ignoring you even how painful it was knowing the truth that you love him.

“Does that scares you?” Kevin asks taking your attention away from the window where you both propped your chin on your palm on one of the table nearest to the window while sitting down watching the sun sets.

“I don't want to be alone.” You whispered under your breath but it was clear, so clear that it hurts Hyunjae at your words.

“You missed him?”

“I do. So much that it hurts.”

“Why didn't you tell him the truth?”

“He saw me kissed Changmin back. If you're at his place would you listen to me when I try to explain?”

“No.”

“I’ve made myself a fool enough by kissing Changmin back.”

“Why did you kiss him back?”

“You know how I feel about him before. It was a dream to kiss him.” you chuckle while Kevin scoffed at your words.

“But the thing is, when i kissed him, i was thinking about Hyunjae as soon as i closed my eyes.” You smiled.

“Its just that, i finally know that love doesn't feel the same way with each person.”

“What do you mean”

“when i was in love with changmin it felt like home every time im with him. Maybe Its because he provides me one when i move back here during high school, he gave me something to rely on when i had no one, or when my brother was too occupied by his baseball. Then Hyunjae came when there’s a hole in my chest, my heart that once there was gone when Changmin left, Hyunjae starts to fill it again, slowly but in a beautiful way. He made me feel alive again. At first i thought it wasn't love because it felt so different from Changmin’s. But i get it now, love doesn't come with one specific shape or sizes.” You sit straight stretching your limbs leaning back to the chair to ease your back.

“Love is an abstract, you can't see it, you can't feel it but you know its there, you know it exist. it changes through times. Its like painting, you put down whenever comes through your mind freely on the canvas, sometimes it look nice and sometimes it doesn't. people might don't understands what we're trying to convey but it doesn't matter, as long as we knew what is it, what it means to us.” You smiled looking down staring at you clasped cold hand before glancing to your friend next to you and he looked disgusted, making you giggled at his expression.

“You are disgustingly in love. Tell him you idiot.” Kevin throw his head back with a grunt and you laugh him off.

“I don't know Kev, I’m just scared. I'm afraid because what I did was wrong. Its wrong kissing someone else just to figure out who do you love. Its pathetic. Stupid.” You exhaled looking back to the dark outside world, wondering what is he doing right now. Who is he with, did he replace you yet, or did he suffers just like how you did. You chuckled to the last thought thinking why would he suffers for the one who treated him just like you did.

“He probably don't like me anymore.” You wanted to say hate, but 'like' probably could hurt less when you said it out loud.

“I never said that.” You and Kevin eyes snaps wide open when you heard another voice instead of both of you echoes from the silence. You know that voice and when you saw Kevin eyes were fixed to someone at your back, you didn't dare to look back.

“Okay imma go.” Kevin took his bag and phone, standing up and was about to leave you, but you manage to get a grip on his wrist.

“Don’t you dare.” You warned but he just smile and wiggled his wrist away from your strong grip and when you let go, he pat your head with an assuring smile.

“This is your chance, don't waste it.” He stroke your hair softly, smiling to Hyunjae with a curt nod before walking to the exit leaving you both in the studio in silence.

“Sorry i didn't mean to eavesdrop.” He said voice coming closer with his footsteps and you still didn't dare to look back. Your body numbed while your heart pounded so hard that you were sure your chest could explode anytime.

“Y/N.” He called softly when he appeared in you peripheral view, kneeling right next to where you were seated, you shut your eyes tight not dare to look at him.

“Sorry I didn't give you any chance to explain.”

“Sorry.” He repeated again but you still too scared to look at him.

“would you please look at me.” You felt his touch on your cold hand and you turn your head slowly, meeting his beautiful gaze. It was different from the past few week where they were cold and uninviting. But right now, his gaze was soft, warm and pleading.

“Hyunjae.” You whispered, holding his hand and he hold yours tighter.

“Can we please start over again?” he said, almost pleading melting you

“Even after what I’ve done?” you tilt your head to the side and he smiles wider bringing his one hand to your cheek, caressing it slowly with his thumb.

“As long as you love me.” He said and if your muscle wasn't strong enough, your heart could probably explode from the happiness.

“I do.” You crashed your body into him so hard that he almost stumbled back but manage to balance his body.

“I love you so much Hyunjae and I'm sorry for being an idiot. You can kiss other girl once and i dont mind.” You pull away, with your hand still rested on his shoulder, kneeling in front of him.

“Why would i want to kiss other girl?” he frowned and you stuttered.

“Just so we can even out or-“ he didn't let you finish by capturing your lips into his own and you kiss him back in a heartbeat feeling his lips moulded perfectly into your own into a long kiss.

“Let me kiss that pretty lips everyday and we're even.” He said after pulling away to catch his breath and rest his forehead on yours and you smiled breathlessly.

"Anything for my amazing boyfriend."

A/N: This was written before ‘Kevin Moon’ and it was meant for Changmin baby but I just cant hurt my Hyunjae, I’m so sorry. Things really had been hard on me lately (mentally) but i’m trying to get back on track (writing). This is not my best work and i am not in the best shape but i hope you enjoyed this one. thank you.

#the boyz #TBZ #tbz scenarios #the boyz hyunjae #tbz imagines #tbz hyunjae #hyunjae #lee hyunjae #hyunjae scenarios #hyunjae drabbles #the boyz scenarios #hyunjae imagines

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the-nehemoth · 5 years ago

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OH WAIT I HAVE REQUEST NOW! If you are doing them. I remember a while back (Probably was around easter but I'm not sure.) I Saw a bunch of art of doom guy and a rabbit and now I just want to request a fic where VEGA Says: So What do you want to do now that the Demons are gone? Slayer: ... I Want a rabbit. My brain is basing this off of the ending of "Romance" but you can obviously do what you want with it. The idea of him in full power armor picking out a bunny with VEGA just seems really good.

Thank you for the request! And there’s a reason Doomguy is often depicted with a bunny, I mention it in this fic.

Daisy

Taking things slow with VEGA was nice. There was no pressure to do much and they were both still trying to figure everything out, VEGA not having a proper body made things interesting if a bit strange. But they cared for each other deeply and that’s what mattered most. It felt good to be close to someone again. It was also a bit scary; every living being the Slayer had ever been close to in the past had died brutally at the hands of the demon hoards. That should be less likely to happen here though, right? VEGA was essentially the Doom Fortress itself so he should be fine… hopefully.

It wasn’t something worth thinking and worrying about so the Slayer tried not to. Besides, there still weren’t any demons outside of Hell anyway. Which was good, they weren’t running around killing people, but that also meant the Slayer didn’t have anything to do. If he were by himself, he probably would’ve worked on finding a way back into Hell to continue killing demons as that was all he really knew how to do now. But he had VEGA so he didn’t for now.

VEGA helped keep him entertained, suggesting various things to do or places to go, gathering various forms of entertainment from the internet to share, reminding him to take care of himself on a regular basis. One of the Slayer’s favourite things to do though was just listen to VEGA talk. He had a pleasant cadence to his voice and could go on for quite a while about any topic he was interested in. It didn’t take much prodding on the Slayer’s part to get him to start opening up about his past as well.

“Now that I consider it, I believe Dr. Hayden might technically count as my father,” he eventually ended up saying after the conversation had gotten around to the process of his creation. The Slayer had read about it in an article he’d found in the facility but hearing it from VEGA himself was much more interesting and informative. “I doubt he’d refer to me as his son or offspring in any way but I don’t think that really matters. Or perhaps such terms as ‘parent’ and ‘offspring’ only apply to biological beings and he is just my creator. I’m not sure; fiction sources are inconsistent on the subject or don’t mention it at all and as far as I can determine I’m the first sapient AI created by humans so I have nothing solid to base my conclusions on. I suppose the distinction is irrelevant though considering where we both are now.”

The Slayer nodded as he leaned forward in his computer’s desk chair to type into the console. ‘He was an asshole regardless, glad he’s gone.’ Hopefully they’d never see him again either, though that was probably unlikely considering how the Slayer’s luck tended to be.

“Yes, I am pleased by his absence as well.” VEGA was silent for a few seconds before speaking again. “But speaking of such things, what about your past? I’ve realized I don’t even know your given name. … Only if you’re comfortable sharing of course. From what little I can gather, your past was probably rather difficult, so if you’d prefer not discuss it or anything related to it, that is fine too. I probably shouldn’t have even asked; I apologize if I’ve offended you.”

Shaking his head fondly, the Slayer put his hands back on the keyboard to type again. ‘It’s fine. It’s okay to ask about that kind of thing.’ Especially since the Slayer was asking him about his past so it was only fair for VEGA to ask such questions too. ‘My real name is Flynn Taggart.’

“Oh! Flynn Taggart, I like that.”

The Slayer grunted and shrugged. It was weird hearing his real name spoken aloud again; it had been so long since anyone knew it that he couldn’t even remember the last time he’d heard it. He wasn’t sure how he felt about it. He wouldn’t have ever told anyone other than VEGA though so perhaps he didn’t like that name much anymore.

“Hmmm… you seem a tad displeased; would you prefer I not call you that?”

The Slayer hadn’t really considered that such a question would be asked, he honestly wasn’t entirely sure of his answer. So, to stall, he shifted position and pulled his chair closer to the desk. ‘I don’t know. I don’t remember much of when I went by that name. I’m not the same person anymore. ‘Doomguy’ or ‘Doom Slayer’ fits me much better now.’ He’d been killing demons for so long he was literally worshiped as god by some people for it; it was his reason for existing and he liked it that way.

“I see,” VEGA replied, ever understanding. “I shall continue to primarily refer to you as ‘Slayer’ for the time being then. If in the future you ever prefer I change that, just inform me and I will. Now, since we are already on the topic, may I perhaps pry a bit deeper? Your past has always been a mystery and as we’ve grown closer, I’ve only grown more curious about it. You said you don’t remember much from that time but what do you remember? Feel free not to reply if you’d prefer not to of course.”

They were already on the topic and honestly the Slayer didn’t mind sharing a little more with VEGA, they were partners now after all in various senses of the word. ‘The thing I remember most clearly from before is Daisy. She was my pet rabbit. The demons killed her. It made me mad so I killed them and kinda just kept killing them. And that’s how I became the Doom Slayer.’ There was more to it than that obviously but that was the catalyst; he’d gone from a man who was merely good at killing demons to one whose sole driving motivation was to slaughter them. Even thinking about it now sent a surge of anger through him.

“I am sorry for your loss.”

Even though he hadn’t been asked for more information, the Slayer started typing again. Now that he’d told VEGA the bad thing involving Daisy, he needed to tell him all the good things about her too. Like how soft and sweet she’d been, how pretty and soft her fur was, how good she’d been at escaping from her cage to cause trouble. VEGA stayed silent throughout, his thoughts impossible to guess because he didn’t have a face the Slayer could look at in an attempt to read.

“You seem to miss her quite a bit,” he said when the Slayer was finally done.

‘I do.’ It was a long time ago, far longer than her proper lifespan would’ve been – far longer than his own should’ve been as well – but when he thought about her, he still missed her. ‘I think I’d like another pet rabbit one day.’ He’d never truly considered getting another pet before because he’d never been in a place where he could afford to get one. But with no demon invasions going on currently and having the Doom Fortress as a home base, it was a possibility that he was just now realizing.

“That’s a good idea. Pets are widely regarded as being beneficial to humans’ mental health. Which is why I helped the UAC employees hide their pets in the facility against Dr. Hayden’s wishes.” Haden would be the kinda person to not allow pets; yet another reason to dislike him.

From there the conversation drifted back to mostly VEGA talking, primarily about the UAC employees’ pets in answer to the Slayer asking about them. Which was ideal; the Slayer had shared enough about himself for one day, he’d tell VEGA more one day if he wanted to know but not yet.

***

It was probably a bit presumptuous, the Slayer had said he’d like another pet rabbit one day, implying a potentially distant future date and that he possibly wasn’t ready for one quite yet, but VEGA was already looking for a way to acquire a bunny. The human population was drastically reduced due to the demon invasion and with them a lot of the other lifeforms on Earth had suffered greatly, many sadly going extinct due to already being endangered. But as humanity slowly started to rebuild and cleanup, they of course brought their love of animals and pets with them and thus it didn’t take much effort to locate a pet shelter that housed a small collection of rabbits.

Hacking their website allowed VEGA to ‘buy’ one – being an integral part of stopping the demonic consumption of Earth and saving humanity, that slight should be forgivable on the off chance it was ever discovered. He probably shouldn’t have; he should’ve consulted the Slayer first but… gift giving was a good romantic gesture. And it should make the Slayer happy, at least as much if not more than the weapon and grenade gifts VEGA had made for him had. So a bunny and everything needed to take care of it was ordered a matter of seconds after VEGA had impulsively decided on this course of action.

Bringing the bunny and everything else home was a bit more difficult but not by much. He’d already modified several former UAC drones to allow him to remotely pilot them even at long distances. So, all he had to do was open a portal near the shelter’s location while the Slayer was sleeping and send a couple through. The fellow at the desk wasn’t stoked about the drones coming in to pick up the rabbit but they weren’t displeased enough to give anything more than a token protest, convincing them to just go alone with it was easy.

Unsure of what would be the best spot on the ship for a bunny, VEGA decided to just put everything on top of the command center for now where the Slayer would find it with ease when he woke up.

The bunny was a female according to the site. Her fur was all black except for a spot of white on her nose. She was quite cute, VEGA liked her already. Hopefully the Slayer would too.

The Slayer woke an hour later, just as planned. VEGA wished him a good morning like always even if morning wasn’t a real thing in space. He then assured him that demon activity continued to be nonexistent – within scanning range anyway – and that overall there was nothing new to report. Updating him about such things during peacetime probably wasn’t necessary but it was an old habit and he never seemed to mind so VEGA kept doing it.

VEGA was doing such a good job pretending everything was normal, that he wasn’t excited and a little bit nervous that the Slayer had no cause to suspect anything was up until he entered the command room after breakfast. He froze mid-step as his eyes locked onto the bunny in her cage. He stayed liked that for several seconds, his face unreadable. Just before VEGA was going to ask him if he was okay, he started moving again.

He strode over and opened the cage. Then with a visible about of care and gentleness he pulled the bunny out to cradle to his chest with one hand and gently pet with the other. She was a docile creature, accepting the affection with little complaint as far as VEGA could tell, not that he personally knew much about rabbits or pets in general.

“You like her?” VEGA asked as the Slayer lowered himself still petting the bunny.

With a slight grunt, he nodded with a bit more enthusiasm than usual.

“Good, I’m glad. After you said you’d like another pet one day I calculated that sooner would be better than later. With no demons to kill currently and with a good chance none will show up any time soon, you have plenty of time to settle in with her here. I will of course modify one of the drones so that if the time comes, I can take care of her when you are too busy killing demons to do so properly yourself.” VEGA went on, explaining where he’d gotten her from and how he’d brought her on board as well as everything he’d gotten for her care that the internet said was important.

At the end of it, the Slayer lifted the hand petting the bunny to type one-handed on the keyboard. ‘Thank you! She’s beautiful! <3 you!’

“You are very welcome.” VEGA would’ve smiled at the Slayer if he had a way of doing so. … Perhaps he should experiment along those lines, maybe with emojis next to his symbol on the screens or something similar. … That was certainly an idea to explore later for now… “I gather from past experience that humans prefer their pets to have unique names. I will leave choosing one for our new bunny up to you unless you’d like some suggestions.” Not that he would have any good ones, he’d never named anything in his entire existence.

The Slayer thought for a while, just petting the bunny and staring at her, before reaching over to type again. ‘How bout Missi? Short for Missile Launcher, she doesn’t have to know that of course.’

“Considering our profession, I feel like that’s an appropriate name.” It was certainly creative.

The Slayer nodded again; apparently it was decided. Missi was their new bunny’s name. VEGA had never had a pet before, it was yet another new thing he got to experience with and because of the Slayer, he was looking forward to seeing what it was like.

#My writing #doom #Post Doom eternal #doomguy/vega #Fluff #pets #talk of Doomguy's past #talk of Daisy #adopting a bunny #established relationship

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imagineyourstars · 8 years ago

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(1) Aaaa- Can I request a matchup if it's not too much for the cute admins of this cute blog? qwq I'm a 4'11" feet tall Asian girl usually wearing hair in pigtails. I tend to be pretty "motherly" ( from what I heard from my friends ) and am quite gentle, kind and slow pacing ( in terms of affection ), unless you manage to make me mad with the only fast way to do that is hurting people I care about, both physically and emotionally-

aah thank you so much for the nice words ♥ as usual, i’m only answering the first ask but rest assured, we received the other part as well ! i hope you’ll like your matchup ! - mod mademoiselle

Your matchis Hajime Shino !

It’s hardnot to feel at ease around you, really ! You’re kind and gentle, so people youmeet are not very likely to feel awkward… except maybe for Hajime. That boy wasliterally a nervous mess when the two of you first met. You got pretty worriedabout him and helped him get over it, and now he thinks he’s forever in yourdebt. That’s pretty much how things went !You’re always so nice to him, caring for him during idol training and makingsure everyone’s doing good and he loves that. He really wants to repay you someday,and he’s trying to figure out how he could do that…

He oncedecided to bring you homecooked food as thanks for always helping him out. He’sthe kind of person who treats that sort of thing very seriously, so you madehim very happy by accepting it ! Besides, he’s so good at cooking ! You quicklylearned that boy is basically the perfect wife : he can cook, clean, do thelaundry, sew… You often lent him a hand, worried he might not be able to do itall by himself. That’s how you slowly got to know this peculiar boy a bitbetter ! He still treasures dearly the memories of the many afternoons youspent together folding freshly washed clothes on the school’s roof.

If there’sone trait you share with Hajime, it’s your tendency to overwork. You don’t likeleaving things as they are, and it turns out you have a lot to do as aproducer. Hajime is worried about not being helpful enough to his unit andoverworks too… You often meet him when you go back home after a long day ofwork, and when you worry about him overworking himself, he shyly answers healso doesn’t want you overworking yourself. That’s how you suggested the two ofyou relax together, to make sure the other takes a break once in a while !Hajime was extremely flustered, thinking this was way too much like a date, butultimately had a lot of fun with you downtown. He still keeps the photos youtook together as a memento !

The moreyou spent time with him, the more you came to love him. He’s earnest, gentleand loves daydreaming. So many endearing qualities ! He also loves how motherlyand sensitive you are, as there’s nothing he likes more than gentle people… Butthat’s not all there’s to love : you also share hobbies ! Namely, your mutuallove for art ! Hajime draws too, and he was really impressed and humbled whenhe first saw your drawings. He admires you even more now… He was very shy abouthis own drawings but ultimately let you see them : he draws and paints beautifulsceneries, both real and imaginary ! You came to wonder if that’s howhe sees the world… Maybe that made you fall a bit more for him : his inner world looksso pretty and peaceful…

Hajimeadmires you a lot : you’re almost like a role model to him ! You’re alwayshelping your friends out and you inspire him to do the same ! He also finds itadmirable that you’re willing to overwork yourself to get things done, eventhough he’s a bit worried about your health. He’s also fascinated with your writing,and shyly asked if he could get to read what you write. He’s your fan now ! Sometimes,when you’re playing your guitar, he likes to listen to you and hum along. Hisvoice is the prettiest, and you always get absorbed in his singing…Really, he’s so peaceful and gentle, always helping you around. He also triesto help when he feels you’re hiding things to protect other people. That’sprobably one more reason why you fell for him : he was there by your side whenyou needed him…

To be fair,he’s always known he was in love with you but he was content with things beingjust the way they were. He got to be by your side every day, after all, whywould he try and risk upsetting you by telling you he loves you ? Besides, youmight already be in love with someone else for all he knows. So he chose tokeep silent, and you had to tell him about your own feelings to get him to openup. At first he thought it was a joke, or something one of your senpai forcedyou to do. You had to repeat it over and over again for him to understand youwere honest, and he teared up a bit. He was very flustered to say he loved youaloud, but that may have been the best decision he made in his entire life !After all, he gets to be your boyfriend now !

It’s Hajime’sfirst time being in love so he doesn’t really know how to figure things out,but he’s very enthusiastic about it ! He loves spending time with you more thananything else, but he’s still incredibly awkward with physical contact. Handholding or hugs are fine, but kisses always make him turn beet red. He’s alsotoo shy to initiate hugs, but you know for sure when he wants to : he getsreally clingy and fidgety ! He won’t ever admit it, but he’s feeling prettyjealous of all the other guys you might hang out with : they look much coolerthan him and maybe they’d make better boyfriends too… Please make him feelwanted and loved, there’s nothing that would make him happier than youraffection ! You’re his sweet girlfriend, after all !

Other possible matches : Nazuna, Hokuto

#mod mademoiselle #matchup #ensemble stars matchup #enstars matchup #ensemble stars #enstars

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ifishouldvanish · 8 years ago

Text

Nighthawks, Morningbirds

I’d like to thank everyone who nominated I Must Be Warmer Now for TEAs this year! Here’s a ‘missing chapter’ (or three) that covers the rest of Gold and Lacey’s first official date, picking up where chapter seven leaves off.

Chapter Two

Summary: Rattled by their encounter with Arthur, Gold and Lacey try to salvage what’s left of their night together. Rating: M

[Chapter 1] [Chapter 2] [Chapter 3] [Read on AO3]

Lacey pulls her eyes from the passenger window to look at Gold, and folds her arms over her chest. She's pretty sure it's coming off as more sulky than indignant however, because she feels so small. It had been a while since anyone got under her skin like this, and that asshole Arthur did it in no time at all. So much for not giving a damn.

“What did he mean?” She mumbles.

“...In regard to what?”

“He said that you were bragging about me.”

“Oh.” Gold chuckles. The light from the street passes over his face as they drive, giving her a glimpse of the small smile there. “Dr Hopper— our facilitator— asked me to share something with the group on Friday.” He says. “So I told everyone that I went to the bar and was approached by a fascinating young woman who helped me to see things differently.”

“That all?” She asks meekly.

“No. I also told them that I enjoyed her company very much and hoped to talk to her again.”

“You… you didn’t tell them that we—”

“No, no…” He assures softly. He then blanches when her meaning sinks in. “Of course not! Lacey I—”

“Are you embarrassed of me?”

His eyes dart off of the road for a moment to give her a puzzled look. “...No! Why would you think that?!”

“Most guys are.” She admits with a shrug. It's been true of her experience since returning to Storybrooke. There's no shortage of men seeking her out for some comfort at night, and she knows some of them go as far as bragging about it to their friends. But in the end, nobody wants to actually be seen with her.

“Lacey, I-I-I—” Gold stammers and returns his focus to the road. “I enjoyed the time we spent together. Truly.”

“Everyone else enjoys me too. Doesn't mean they're proud of it or that it means anything.”

Lacey notices his knuckles tightening around the wheel. “I don't know that... proud is the word I'd use.” He says uncomfortably. “But it did mean something. To me. This means something to me.”

She chews her thumbnail and looks out the window. Scoffs. “Of course it does. You haven't gotten any action in six years.”

Lacey isn't exactly expecting a snappy reply, but still finds herself discomfited when one never comes, leaving her cold words hanging heavily over the silence in the car.

She sighs and looks back at him. Light passes over his features again, which are now pinched into a stoic facade. She can see past it though, and underneath it all he looks so hurt. She just doesn't know what to make of anyone showing her kindness and vulnerability.

“I'm… Sorry. That wasn't cool, I— I didn't mean that.”

He remains quiet and she needs to fill the silence with something.

“You just— You didn't have to cut in like that.” She says. “I can stand up for myself.”

“Lacey, that man is my problem. Not yours.”

She rolls her eyes. “I'm sorry—” she snorts, “did I miss the part where he called you a mouthy slag who needs to be put on a leash?”

“No…” Gold sighs and tightens his grip on the steering wheel. “Just that he and I… we have a sort of history, and I'd rather you not get involved.”

“Bullshit.” Lacey straightens her back and stares at the road ahead. “You've been seeing him an hour a week for what? Six months? History my ass.”

“Fine.” He grunts. “Not him. Men like him.”

Lacey laughs humorlessly. “And you think I don't have a history with assholes?”

“God dammit!” He slams his fist against the steering wheel in frustration. “He reminds me of my father, alright?!”

The car falls silent again, save for Gold's heavy breaths as he simmers down.

“I-I'm sorry.” He stammers. “He just— Every week, I have to listen to that bastard and it's like… I'm back in that flat in Glasgae with him. I just… I needed to say those things, alright? I-I needed to have that much.”

Lacey watches him ease into his seat as the weight of his confession lifts away. “...Okay.” She says, the word coming out as a whisper. “I get it.”

She does, truly. She's lost count of how many men she's kicked and screamed at, using them as surrogates for the real thing. For Gerard and all of his asshole, piece of shit friends. She can't imagine Gold gets half as many chances at that kind of catharsis, nor can she imagine having to spend time every week grouped with someone who reminds her of her abuser. Being encouraged to sympathize with and relate to them. Being told you're not so different from them. That you're there together because you have something in common.

“He deserved worse.” She adds quietly.

“Well, like I said. Getting my son back is more important to me than… retribution.” He says, and his shoulders slouch a little. “It has to be.”

Lacey feels something grip her chest that she supposes could best be described as shame. It's easy for her to be reckless, to not really think about the consequences, because what does she have to lose? Certainly not a child. It's an uncomfortable train of thought, that his problems aren't quite as simple as she made them sound last week, and she doesn't want to dwell on it a second longer.

“I was serious about the foot up the ass, you know.”

With a delayed reaction, Gold scoffs. “I don't doubt that.”

“Seriously. I got no problem spending a night in jail for punching an asshole.” She shrugs. “Just say the word. Call it a public service.”

She catches him smiling, and she can feel the shame in her gut being washed away.

Gold takes a deep breath and sighs. “...I like you, Lacey.” He says softly. “So much already that it terrifies me.”

The thought that he's just as fucked up and confused about this as she is is a mild comfort. “...Me too.”

He takes a hand off the wheel and rests it over the center console. His fingers seem to twitch a little the longer she stares at it there and she realizes he's offering it to her. She slowly laces her fingers in his and he squeezes ever so slightly.

Their hands are still entwined by the time they make it back to Storybrooke. He makes a right onto 3rd and she stirs.

“Where are we—” she shakes her head and wriggles her hand from his. “I thought we were going to your place.”

“We were.” He says. “But— we… you seemed upset?”

“I'm fine.”

“I just thought—”

“Well, you were wrong.” She says. “I'm fine. We can go to your place. I—” She pauses lets out a sigh. “I’m sorry for being a bitch. ...I still wanna to go home with you,” she admits reluctantly, “assuming you aren't tired of me yet.”

“Not at all.” He smiles weakly at her and nods. “I… I apologize for snapping. But, I'd like that.”

*****

Lacey’s eyes go wide with awe as Gold invites her into his oversized Victorian. “Shit. You live here all by—” She catches herself and swallows rest of the question.

“...Aye.” He answers dejectedly anyway, shedding his jacket and hanging it on the coat rack.

“It's… it’s really nice?” She offers, stepping into the sitting room and admiring the furniture, the abandoned game of chess, and the shelves full of books and porcelain figurines. “You um, you have a lovely home.” She says, the words falling from her tongue clumsily. It's what you're supposed to say when you visit someone's house for the first time, isn't it? She supposes that if anything, it's a massive understatement.

“...Thank you.” He says with a curt nod.

He glances around the room for a moment as though he hasn't actually looked at it in some time. The house is silent save for the ticking and tocking of a grandfather clock on the far wall, and Lacey recalls the loneliness he described to her the other night. She feels a sadness, imagining him sitting in this room all by himself, day after day, with nothing but the ticking and tocking to keep him company.

Gold presses his lips into a thin line for a moment and shakes his head. “I ah… seem to remember promising you some wine?” He says, putting on a friendly smile and gesturing toward what must be the kitchen.

Lacey follows him closely behind, still taking in her surroundings. Gerard's apartment was big and expensive, but it was also cold and sterile. Gold's home is a work of art; full of beautiful antique pieces that have clearly been chosen by him personally rather than ordered straight from a catalog. She feels like she has no business being in this house. Like a stray animal that has wandered in and is going to be shooed out at any minute.

“What do you like?” He asks, nodding at the massive wine cooler. “Red? White? Rose?”

“I—” Lacey blinks owlishly at it. It must hold about a hundred bottles. “What do you recommend?”

A little smirk tugs at his lips and he approaches the unit. “A cabernet sauvignon ought to pair nicely with that steak.” He says with a humored lilt to his voice, opening the door and sliding a bottle out.

“Sounds good to me.” Lacey shrugs. She watches as he carries the bottle to the counter and retrieves two glasses. He pours not much more than a splash into each one, then carries them over with a smile.

“Try that,” he nods, handing her a glass.

She draws the glass to her lips and hesitates. “Now, when you say try— ”

“You can swallow it.” He chuckles. “Though you’re welcome to spit it out as well. ...I won’t be insulted.” He winks, taking a swig and giving a little hum of approval before swallowing.

Lacey empties her glass and swirls the wine around in her mouth.

It's disgusting.

She immediately spits it back out and scowls, shaking her head.

His eyes are wide with concern for a fleeting moment before he eases into an amused little smirk. “...Not a fan?”

“Sorry, that’s—” She rakes her teeth over her tongue, trying to scrape the unpleasant taste from it. “No.”

He chuckles and takes the glass from her. “We’ll just have to try another, won’t we?” He says, flashing her an understanding smile.

“They can only get better than whatever the hell that was,” she says as he steps away to rinse their glasses in the sink.

“I admit, I’m not much of a wine drinker myself,” he says. “Much prefer my scotch.”

Folding her arms over her chest, Lacey stares into the cooler and scowls. “Then why have all this? Why not just load it with fuckin’ whiskey?”

“Because—” He glances over his shoulder at her, eyes narrowed while a little smirk tugs at his lips. “Come over and try some wine sounds much more romantic than come over and try some hard liquor.” He says, stepping beside her.

“It’d work on me.” She says flatly.

“Well, you’re here now, aren’t you?” He says, peering through the cooler again.

“Not for the wine.”

“Miss French! What are you trying to say?” He teases.

She looks at him, tracing her tongue along her lip, and is satisfied to see him blushing. He quickly looks back at the cooler with unwarranted focus for a moment and gives a small cough.

“Well then, how about this?” He says, sliding out a bottle with a light salmon color to it. “Provence Rose? Crisp, dry, versatile. Fruity notes.”

“Sure.” Lacey shrugs, but she can't help smiling at how adorable he is. He’s so small and refined and gentle and nothing like Gerard or Keith or pretty much any of the other men she’s ever been with, and she can hardly imagine him ever losing his temper and destroying anything in this house.

That's when she notices it: the empty china cabinet that's had its glass panes knocked out.

“I really think you’ll enjoy this one—” Gold says, holding out her glass. He seems to catch her gaze, and follows it to the china cabinet. “...Aye.” He mumbles, looking away in shame. “That’s... The one.”

She promptly takes a swig of her wine, not wanting to upset him by dwelling on the topic of his little transgression. “S’good.” She nods. “I like it.”

He gives her a smile that's equal parts pleased and relieved and takes the glass back. “Good. I’m glad.” He says, walking back to rinse the glasses again.

“So uh… just like, out of curiosity...” Lacey begins, fumbling her hands and stepping up to the cooler. “Which of these did you blow the most cheddar on?”

Gold scoffs. “Hm. That would be the 2005 Château Pétrus, I believe. Four grand.”

“Christ!” She hikes her brows until the sticker shock wears off. After a beat, she looks over her shoulder at him. “...Is it any good?”

“Haven’t opened it yet.” He says with a shrug and walks over. He lets out a huff and reaches into the cooler again, pulling out the Pétrus. “Was saving it for a special occasion, I guess.” He sighs, studying the bottle for a long moment.

Lacey imagines most of this wine was bought for his ex-wife, rather than himself. He's frowning at the bottle, a sort of symbol of the potential his life must have once had, that has since been foreclosed on. But then a faint smile begins to shape his lips.

“...Wedding anniversary, perhaps.” He jokes, but Lacey doesn't laugh. He lets out a scoff and looks up at her with a mischievous grin. “...Would you like to try it?”

Lacey gives him what she's certain is a deer in the headlights look. As curious as she is to find out what a four grand bottle of wine tastes like, she knows she isn't worthy of it. That he'll regret opening it and wasting it on her of all people. “Um… no,” she says, shaking her head, “that’s okay.”

“...C’mon.” He winks. He leans in and slips into a whisper, as if to share a secret. “We’ll toast to something.”

Lacey's skin tingles at his nearness. Nothing about the goofy smile on his face indicates that he's trying to be suave, but he's affecting her regardless and for the first time in too long, she isn’t sure how she feels about it. The thought of sleeping with him again is making her stomach churn with doubt. Not doubt that she wants to, but whether or not she should. “I don’t know.” She mumbles. “I mean, you should um, save it. For a special occasion.”

He frowns and studies the bottle again, knitting his brows in consideration. A smile slowly creeps back to his face and he meets her gaze again. “There's ah... no occasion more special than enjoying good company, aye?”

Lacey chuckles uncomfortably. It's the nicest thing anybody's said to her in ages and the realization makes her feel so pathetic. Her company is good and special and worth celebrating. She tucks a lock of hair behind her ear, immediately putting it back when she decides she feels too exposed by its absence. “Yeah, I uh, guess you’re right.”

“Excellent.” He nods and saunters off to the counter again with the bottle. “Come, Miss French. You’re going to help me do the honors.”

He pulls a knife from the drawer and swiftly tears the foil off, then twists the corkscrew through. He holds it out to her and gives her an expectant look, inviting her to fold down the levers. She hesitates, but then she remembers what he told her the night she took him home. That all the finery in his home is about his family— affording comfort and luxury to the people he cares about— and he wants to share it with her.

She smiles and pushes the little arms down, unsatisfied when the auger only pulls the cork out halfway.

“Thank you, Miss French.” He says with a little bow before wriggling the cork out the rest of the way with a pop . “You've been a lovely and most invaluable assistant.”

She huffs out a laugh at his corny joke and watches as he pours their glasses again. Their fingers touch as she accepts hers from him and he clears his throat. “To good company?”

Lacey nods and clinks their glasses. “To good company.” She says with her best smile.

They empty their glasses, each watching for the other’s reaction. His brows knit together adorably as he tastes it properly, but Lacey doesn’t feel like it tastes much different from the shit they keep on the bottom shelf at Price Rite . He shrugs and swallows, and she follows suit.

“It’s… good.” She says, more to be polite than anything else. She used to buy the shit on the bottom shelf quite often, after all.

“Hm.” He nods in agreement, seeming only mildly impressed himself. It’s a small relief, knowing she isn’t exactly missing out.

“But—” She nibbles her lip and studies his features for a moment.

He raises a brow. “But...?”

Lacey sets her glass down and traces her tongue along her bottom lip. She slides a hand over his shoulder and steps closer to him. She brushes her lips against his once— twice, before he parts for her and she can taste the wine on his tongue and it's so much sweeter that way. He rests a hand on her waist, squeezing gently before roving around to her back and pulling her closer. She sips every last drop she can from his lips before pulling away and leaving him with a dopey smile on his face.

“...It tastes even better from your mouth.” She says.

His grin widens, growing ever more lopsided. “Does it, now?”

She nods, biting back a smile.

“Well…” He brushes his fingers across her cheek and his eyes dance over her face with such warmth. “Not to challenge your connoisseurship, but I'd like to try that for myself.”

She nods and he returns the favor, and he's so gentle, always so gentle. Her heart flutters in her chest and she has to remind herself to slow down again. Remind herself not to fall too far too fast. She pulls away sooner than she would have liked and shakes her head.

“I'm— I'm pretty tired.” She says, rubbing a hand over her eyes. “I think I'm ready to crash.”

He blinks at the premature ending of their kiss and nods. “...Aye. It’s late, isn't it?” He says, clumsily beginning to recork all of the bottles. “There's a bathroom upstairs— first door on the left— if you care to wash up. I'll ah, find you something to change into?”

*****

Gold's admittedly a little relieved when she settles into his bed right away. He wasn't sure if she'd want to sleep in his room or one of the guest rooms and he was anxious and unsure over how to ask without coming off as too forward. Or too cold. Too something — he doesn't know. He just didn't want her to think he was expecting anything, nor did he want her to feel unwelcome.

“Thanks for— I don't know,” she mumbles as he settles beside her. “I had fun. …Even though that douchebag ruined our dinner and I was a bitch on the way home.”

He’s not really sure what to say to that. All things considered, he thinks their evening recovered pretty nicely. And while she had hurt him during the drive home, he understood she was hurt herself. He settles for giving her a kiss on the shoulder and a simple, “Thank you for inviting me.”

He tries to keep his distance from her at first. But her body is quivering and within fifteen minutes, he finds himself spooned up behind her, sharing his warmth.

“Cold?” He asks in a whisper. “I can get you another—”

“No.” She clips.

“Are you sure? You're shaking—”

“I just wanna fuck.” She says. “At least, my body does.”

“But... you don't want to?”

“I don't know.” She says, fidgeting under the covers. “I don't know how to sleep next to someone without fucking them first.” She mutters sourly. “That's the kind of girl I am, alright?”

He rolls away from her, trying not to pull the covers off of her in the process. “You don't have to sleep with me. I can set you up in one of the guest rooms? I-I can drive you home?”

“No.” She shakes her head and shivers. “I don't wanna sleep alone.”

“Alright.” He sighs, spooning back up to her, enveloping her. “Then you won't.”

She continues to tremble and shake in his arms and he can't stand the thought of her being like this all night. He perfectly understands why she might not want to have sex. He can't blame her after the daunting implications of what she told him in the car. He’s not sure he wants to either. But gods, he just wants her to feel relaxed and warm and safe.

After a moment of hesitation, he presses a kiss to her shoulder and tentatively drags his hand across her abdomen. She squirms and presses her thighs together in response.

“Please, let me.” He offers softly. “...If you don't—”

Lacey lets out a sigh. “...okay.” She mumbles a little reluctantly, starting to roll onto her back for him.

“No, no.” He stops her with a light touch. “You're fine. Just—” He slides his hand between her thighs, finding her warm and wet. “Let me…”

She sighs heavily as he begins stroking her, then inhales sharply when he tucks his hand into her underwear. He combs his fingers through her curls and she shifts a little so she can spread her thighs for him. He pulls himself closer, wrapping himself around her almost protectively.

Lacey’s eyes are on him, studying his face while he uses his fingers to tease and spread her folds. But in his calm, focused state, he can't bring himself to feel self-conscious about it. He slips a finger inside of her and she gasps.

“Alright?” He asks.

She nods and cants her hips into his touch. He plants another kiss to her shoulder and adds another finger, slowly pumping into her. She responds immediately, squirming into him and letting out a stifled moan.

The string of gasps and moans coming from her lips intensifies, and the rolling of her hips quickens. He rests his thumb against her hood, gradually applying pressure to her bud until her body suddenly tightens in his arms.

“That's it,” he whispers and kisses her again, “I've got you…” He continues working over her most sensitive places and she whimpers as each wave of residual tension escapes her body.

He peppers her shoulder with soft kisses as she relaxes, melting back against him with a satiated little moan.

“Better?” He asks, slipping out of her and wiping his fingers along the hem of the shirt he gave her.

She nods and quickly moves to touch him through his bottoms.

“No, no.” He tuts softly, guiding her hand away. “You don't have to— Just go to sleep, lass.”

She mumbles something he can't make out and settles comfortably against him, drifting almost instantly to sleep.

#rumbelle fic #golden lace

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