#i'm probs gonna make more of an effort to interact now

[rosysins]

*pops in* nya

[wistfulenchantress]

completed.

EDIT: this has now, as of this edit, reached over 2,000 notes. And I have started doing the things. My life is still far from perfect, but I genuinely do scroll through all the replies and reblogs and watch people get other people to help and reassure me and check on me and it makes me feel so much more loved than i normally do. i'm even going to bed earlier because you said i should. i love all of you so much, and i owe you 2,053 times. all my love, witch.

ORIGINAL POST:

ok here goes. i haven't taken enough care of myself recently. so here we go

if this reaches 100 notes i will start doing yoga again, to help with my anxiety COMPLETE (how you guys are insane)

if this reaches 200 notes i'll start studying more and putting in more effort COMPLETE (o my gosh)

if it reaches 500 i will actually try my best to exercise for the right reasons, instead of random bursts of self-hatred/body hatred COMPLETE (i posted this yesterday evening)

if this reaches 700 notes i will try my absolute best to fix my sleep schedule COMPLETE (ok this is insane)

if this reaches 1000 notes i will be more honest with my therapist COMPLETE (dammit you guys ilysm but this is gonna be hard)

if this reaches 2300 notes i will be more honest with myself about why i am turning to tumblr for this kind of thing and write a poem about it. (this one is a joke since i think 5000 is impossible, and i will write a poem for you guys anyway. i love you) (i’ve now changed this to a more reasonable goal - one really close to what i have now - because honestly i want you guys to succeed because the fact that people are still on this post is insane and it makes me smile.) AND COMPLETE! (i love every person who interacted with this post so much it isn’t even funny. all my gratitude and adoration, witch)

this ends at the beginning of may. you can spam i guess i have 35 followers it prob wont even reach 100. but go ahead, tumblr, do your thing. lol

[angelpuns]

RAAAH RANTING ANON IS BACK WITH ANOTHER RANT!!! Omggg my heart, the lil turtle babies have stolen it, the sillies, I've been robbed- the difference between how lil leo and Donnie interact in the headache one-shot VS how "Clone" Donnie and lil leo interact is frying my brain like an egg on the road in Arizona (/pos) RJRVKABFKA LIL DONNIE IS SO SWEET! He makes it obvious he cares about his brothers meanwhile teen Donnie doesn't show affection very often and won't really ever let anyone use his stuff (prob because of everything with the shredder) meanwhile lil Donnie just gives up his headphones without anyone even asking him to! It's so sweet yet they also act so similar when overstimulated (yelling, set off by little things, wanting to be alone,etc) and it makes me so happy- HE IS THE SILLY!!! THE GOOBER! THE LIL MANS!

YADHSHSHDE YAGHHAGHA YEAHHHH YOU GET TTTTT

I definitely think Teen Donnie is a lore more reserved in his affections partially because of everything that has happened and also because his brothers understand him a lot better than they did as kids - He had to put in a lot more effort as a child and now that they're older they all have a mutual understanding that he shows affection in a very specific way.

I think there's also another reason Donnie is more willing to give up his headphones and that's just the way that Leo acts when he is very sick vs when he is only a little sick ( which I'm not gonna discuss too in depth for reasons )

Also this takes place when they're 5, so only a year after Donnie and Leo have moved into separate rooms :D so he's probably more used to sharing with Leo than not.

ALSO YEAH THEY ARE THE TWINS EVER AND I THUNK THEYRE BOTH SO SO SIMAILR WHRN OVERSTIMULATED :D

[red-stocking]

How do you come to terms with the fact that a lot of poor people hold racist views (due to lack of education, living in rural communities that act as echo chambers of the same opinions, etc) while maintaining class solidarity? I don't mean to make it sound like all poor people are racist (I'm pretty poor myself tbh) but I know that statistically speaking, many of them are. When I hear working class, I can't help but think trump voter sometimes...

This is an excellent question!! This is a question that deserves a lot of discussion (so yeah, this is an essay, sorry!), and one that some people on the left may answer differently than I am going to, so I encourage you to get several points of view. My experience is very US based. The US is the only industrialized country without a labor party, and with the red scare we have a very unique history when it comes to workers movements.First of all, lets go over what class solidarity means (and what it does not). Class solidarity I really do think can be summed up in the phrase “An injury to one is an injury to all”. Like, if there is one worker that is being exploited, then it is bad for everyone. If anyone among the class is being victimized, we all need to step in to defend them. This means that white workers need to come out and defend black men from violence by the police. It means that all male workers should strike in solidarity with their female coworkers when they learn there is a wage gap. And yes, it does also mean that immigrant workers should not cross picket lines….But class solidarity does NOT mean that immigrants are to blame for US citizens losing jobs, even if they do cross picket lines. Marxism comes with the understanding of the material circumstances that have lead to immigrant workers being in such a dire economic position- and that it is the capitalists who take advantage of that who are the ones to blame. Solidarity does NOT mean pushing aside the struggles that our black, women, gay, immigrant workers face in order to prioritize the struggles of the ‘less oppressed’. 

So, yeah, even in theory class solidarity is something that is going to be very difficult to build. You try to imagine telling a Mexican immigrant mother of three that she should not take that job because ~class solidarity~. Like, no fucking way. In an ideal world, the union organizers would help her find another job, or get her connections that could help her find one. but lets be real.

I know what you mean though, when you say you think of Trump supporters. i was outside a homeless shelter, defending it from being shut down by the city, and the camera man (amateur, not from a news station) taking statements in support of the shelter confided that he was a trump supporter. He believed that when Trump said this one thing he was really supporting homeless people! (who even knows what that thing was trump never makes any damn sense)The lesson of this story is that yes, these people have racist bias  because they could excuse every racist thing trump said, but that’s very different from voting for trump FOR his racist ideas first and foremost. Many people who voted for trump did so because of party loyalty, or because nothing about their situation had changed with a democrat in office, or because they saw Clinton as the embodiment of Wall Street (which she is) and everything that was going to lead them to unemployment. This is how having two capitalist parties screws over everyone. Lesser evil-ism eventually leads to more evil.When it comes to specifically with dealing with racist bias among white working class people, from an organizational standpoint it all comes down to how you decide you want to use your resources, time, and energy. Lots of leftist groups focus in urban areas- where racism is less of a problem than it is in rural areas, because of the constant interaction between white, black, latino people in their day-to-day jobs. When a black guy agrees to pick up your shift so you can go to your kid’s birthday party, no doubt you’re probs not gonna be as antagonistic to black people in general. Also, a lot of leftist groups are focusing more and more on the youth, the FUTURE OF SOCIETY! They are much more receptive to socialism, class unity, and well- less racist. Like, yes, there are polls that show youth still have a lot of racial bias, but most of that is kept close to the chest in today’s urban youth and you can’t deny things have changed in the past 50 years. It is largely the youth that spear-heads revolutionary movements- the average age of the Bolshevik party in its early years was 19!!! The rest of the population- whether they would agree or not- WILL follow them, even if they started out with racist beliefs.In any case, like I said, a leftist organization has to choose where it is going to spend efforts to recruit new members. At this stage in the US, these are not going to be people who are way out in rural areas who think mexicans are stealing all the jobs. First, we dont have the resources to go out to the boonies anyway, let alone for someone who thinks we should attack people of color. The workers who have really deep-seated racist beliefs are not ones that we want to spend time and energy on, at least in this phase.Now, there may be exceptions- if someone is otherwise very left-leaning, is an involved union member, and generally agrees with a lot of our other ideas, we may set aside time to have discussions on race, the history of the oppression of black people, discussions on imperialism and immigration, and hopefully we can change their mind on some issues. As an individual who may confront certain other racist workers, I advise trying to facilitate a discussion on one of these topics. Give them room to express where they are coming from, try and find out why they think the way they think. Like, where did they hear that a Mexican might steal their job? Have you seen or heard about an example of this? Try to be patient with them. Maybe give examples of a Mexican you know, tell a bit of their story, and find things that they have in common. You will see a lot of the vehement racism trickle away when they realize someone is actually listening to them and their experiences. This is not an easy or quick process, it will NOT be an easy discussion, and you should only try it if you are willing to put in that time and energy, and if they seem like they can actually be won over with discussion alone. This is why leftist groups often leave it to the wayside, to confront at a later date. If you encounter antagonizers that simply pose racist ‘gotchya’ questions to try and make your ideas seem wrong, it might be helpful to go over some quick elevator talk answers so you can respond quickly and show anyone else listening that you will defend people of color. That is kind of a separate issue though, i think, than what you’re referring to. 

Later on, workers with racist attitudes will be brought into the fold- they will come willingly and their minds will change by the example we lead. It is capitalism that fuels the fires of these divisions between the races. When capitalism is threatened, when they are weak, they will not be able to keep pouring out that fuel onto us, those divisions will start to crumble. During a strike, or a demonstration, these workers will share the same ideas, and that experience will do most of the work with regards to chipping away at racist bias.

For example, the national railroad strike in the US in 1877 largely breached race lines, capitalists had to go super heavy after that with racist propaganda to prevent it from growing or happening again. In St. Louis, MO, a place where racial divisions between black and white people were never anything but fucking Intense, the workers really did unite and briefly seize control of the city’s imports and exports. They were betrayed by a Klan member working for the capitalists. When there is a concrete struggle, throughout history it has been shown that workers will come together to fight a class war. Eventually, those with heavy racial bias will come over to our side- they are already learning that the capitalists of either party in the US do not have their best interests in mind. 

But only when you have a strong workers’ party and infrastructure can you bring those in. My advice is to focus on expressing solidarity with other oppressed groups, develop some go-to responses for a few popular racist statements, show by your actions, rather than your words, that you stand for all workers. Sorry this was such an incredibly long answer, I hope this helps! please feel like you can ask follow up questions too, you or anyone else. 

[survivorkomnata]

Episode #1: "I'm ready to punch a bitch." - Timmy

I swear to god... If y'all cast any of my enemies I'm gonna DIE. I need a chance to STRIVE AND NOT DIE.

Omg getting in the game feels soo amazing, like I have said I have not played in sooo long so i feel this will be the ultimate test for my capabilities, the good thig is that not many people know each other so that’s good. My idea for the first day is just to talk to everyone see where they are if they know anyone etc etc. This is just veery exciting!

Feeling good about my tribe, most people have actually talked which is a big plus. Getting good vibes from Shea, and Miguel, and Federico a bit. If Alyssa is the Alyssa I know she’ll be fun to work with too. Still though, early days on the Kato beach. First challenge is kind of annoying though as some of the items are ??? But I’ve done some videos and I’ll try and do more.

WOOO the game has started!! I'm excited for the most part except.... THERES TOO MANY TUMBLR FACES HERE. I wanted an entirely new slate and a whole new cast for me but I guess that's a rip! I know Alyssa, StephenW, Zach, Timmy, Jess, and TJ!

I think that the idol system is definitely cute!! And I want to get an idol so yeah!

I think I'm hitting it off pretty well with Zach (He's probably good with peeps tbh), and Liam (Even though I confused his intro with Daniel's)

The challenge is a scavenger hunt aka my least favorite challenge so thanks, I hate it!!

I can already tell that this is going to be an interesting season just based on the people that I already know coming into the game. I'm happy that on my tribe I already know Tim, Jess, and Zach so that should be good for me for at least the first few rounds. I don't really want to stick with the people I already know though because that's boring. I'm happy Alyssa is on the other tribe and not my tribe right now because I have no intention on working with her because people love doing whatever she says in orgs and I'm not here for it. If we get onto a tribe together or both make it to merge, she is my target and I won't be quiet about it. Might as well focus on my own tribe for now though. Besides the 3 mentioned before, I have only spoken to Karthik who seems alright so that's good. Only issue is that he's like 10.5 hours ahead timewise so that's going to be interesting. I still need to talk to the others but all in good time.

hie girlies this is my first confessional of the SEASON! as always, i'll just give a typical analysis of each person on my tribe, how i vibe with them, etc. i'll also throw in some random pieces of info i guess woo. this is finna be long btw.

jess - she's a likeable queen but she has a big tendency to leave me on read. i think this is either her thinking i'm boring but i'm not sure. ik in TS guyana she was criticized at FTC for being lacklustre in responding so i'm hoping it's just that opposed to something on my behalf. she's really cool tho!! karthik - karthik is short in response sometimes but never leaves our convo on read, which i respect. he seems to know that i won embb9 + am 'really liked' in the community.. he rlly is delusional huh? jk ASKGDS he's great tho. i know my friends like him and he can be a great player so i'm anticipating working with him hopefully. stephen - stephen is a king too. he's someone that probably would know some of my game ig but... who knows. he's relevant in EM. our conversations have been fun and i'm really hoping to get close to him because he seems chill. timmy - i know timmy from tumblr. currently he's not that great socially but i do like him and we have a long ass snapchat streak. there are a few tumblrs in this game but afaik i don't have any bad blood with him so i'm def planning on roping him in. the most recent thing is he backdoored my mom's duo in his last org AKSGLDSG so... stan list. daniel - daniel knows me from a past org that i put no effort into, which i think is fine because i really only made it far since my duo/partner dragged me. i'mma play up a perception with him, but he is really cool as of now. i am SOOO worried that i did something bad or mean in that game and he's going 2 haunt me LOL. tim - tim is the person i've connected with most. he's really chill, actively messages me back, and is just fun and flirty. we've already talked about him and his potential boy, our favourite cereals and overall eating. i know him from tumblr too, but vaguely, but i was apart of the 'evil friendgroup' whereas he was on the other, 'nice friendgroup', but i'm hoping that has minimal impact if any. liam - liam is fine. i know him from FB but we've never interacted. he knows i played egypt so... if that's his perception of me.. i'm FLYING. he's really nice though + is a fellow canadian, so i'm hoping to get close to him. woo!! ally - saving the best for last. ally is really nice and i do like her a lot. she is sweet and like... we're great pals ?? ASGKDSG jk idk. we played a game together where i immunity ran final 6 onwards and voted her out twice (f4/3) and it left a bitterish taste in her mouth (but rightfully so for how i handled it). we are friends but i'm scared that she aint finna let me far. idk. i want her out soon bc she could do damage but i'd also be 10000% down to work with her again this game. WOOO idk. love u ally.

so that's the cast assessment. as for other stuff... well... the games fun. i hope some peoples lack of activity is just my paranoia rather than them hating me, because i don't want to come off as aggressive or anything, and in fact, i want to tone it down slightly this game AKSGDSGL. some dynamics/(matt please forgive me)meta this game include: alyssa / jess - a loyal duo in TS guyana. tim / stephen /// timmy - all tumblr girlies. not sure how close they are. i think stephen/tim were part of the 'nice friendgroup' on tumblr iirc. ally / fede - obvious friends, they literally FLIRT in the public VL (jokingly i imagine). they're both nice tho so maybe i make it a trio?? daniel / tj - rlly good friends i think. they're both zwooper kiddos and i think i played with both in that one zwooper game i played, not sure tho. will do research. miguel / liam / shea - idk how close they are but they are all FB-ish people so... i imagine they may have some thing. ally / karthik - i think

there's prob more but that's it for now. i'm not going to focus my game on that meta ^ whatsoever. i just need 2 keep in mind who's with who and who has some friends from before. idk. just a good mental note type thing. every game is a new slate tho so i'm not holding any preconceived notions abt them.

i really love everyone on my tribe thus far. can't wait till i become a bitch tho... i hope dat dont happen AKGLDSG

So, I'm really happy to be here. This is my 3rd or 4th time applying so I feel ready and excited to play! I was super happy to see Alyssa on my tribe as we get along super duper well. I like my tribe overall.

This first challenge has me a bit nervous. I started my new job today and they didn't give me a very long break for the hours I worked and my ankle and knee are really acting up (I broke my ankle in like 2014 and my knee in 2016 and they still hurt a lot sometimes). I'm worried because I'm not sure if I'm going to be physically able to like dance around and do crazy stuff like that. It sucks that the first challenge is something I can't physically.

I'm just hoping even if I don't do the best in the challenge that I can kind of make some strong social ties so I'm not the first one out if we lose. I feel really good about Alyssa, Luke, and Jake right now. My strategy is always just to be in everyones good graces. If nobody wants me out, I won't leave, that's the goal.

I was finally able to get part of my submissions from my challenge submitted and I plan on doing more tomorrow. I have been speaking with most of my tribe mates and I'm liking them a lot. I did get a bit of a late start so I'm worried some alliances might have formed but, it's all part of the game. I have good relations with Shea and Jake and I hope to further relations with Miguel and Federico so I have some solid foundations to work with and so I can hopefully have some numbers in case we go to tribal. I'm also proud of myself for going on camera multiple times for the video portion of the challenge as it was something I would have never considered doing in past orgs I have played.

I'm not the best with confessionals, but I'll try my best! I'm quite enjoying these people so far, and I've really connected well with Zach, Jess, Ally, Karthik and Tim. That being said, I don't wanna really worry about allies just yet, winning is the first priority.

So me and the tribe are getting along pretty well! The challenge is going ok so far but I still want to try and win! It seems as if we lose its Karthik.. but who knows!! Its time for fun pals and gals.

Talking with Luke about not wanting to go to tribal first but I’m low key channeling Aubrey and would love to solidify an alliance as early as possible, which tribals help with.

I'm sad that we lost although I expected to lose and I'm actually quite glad that Karthik got sent to the basement. This means they are safe without me having to campaign for them. The person with the 2nd lowest score, Timmy, should be on the chopping block to my knowledge. I'm lowkey ok with this bc he doesnt contribute much to convos…

Ahh this game has been amazing for me so far! We won the immunity challenge so I won’t have to vote anyone out! I have made genuine connections with many people in the tribe and I got kind of separate deals with, Stephen, Federico, Shea and Luke so I think they have my back. I have also talked a lot with TJ and Jake but no deal or alliance have been made with them. But as a group I don’t have like a group of allies yet just 1 on 1 alliances. In case we lose I would try to vote out either Isaac or Alyssa.

First day is over, and I can't be more relieved. I love the fact that I cannot be the first voted out, and even more, I love that I feel as if I've made some good connections so far. I really think Alyssa and I will be able to work well together. Yes, we have some stuff to work out from before, but I want it to work out such that we can work together throughout this game. I really like Federico and LH, and I'm hoping things stay this way for the time being. I'd like to keep winning, but when that time comes that we lose, I need to be ready.

Okay. Buckle up bitches. It's story time

Just kidding..

So far I'm trying to connect with every single person individually.

Being put on a tribe with the guy who I literally got out in another game less than a month ago is a mood.... I'm working EXTRA HARD on making sure Tim likes me and trusts me. I'm going to use the fact that I'm a loyal a$$ bitch here and hope he thinks I would ride to him to the end (Honestly I probably would. I LOVE TIM).

Other than Tim the other people I'm vibing with so far are my two Canadian QUEENS: Zach and Aly. Aly seems like she can pop-off at any second but so far she seems like someone I can work with going forward. Zach on the other hand needs to STOP BRINGING UP GUYANA. For some reason he's praising me which NORMALLY I'D LOVE because I don't think the words: Jess, Praise, and Guyana have ever been said....but he's putting a target on my back.

Other than my Canucks... I really like Stephen but he's intro SCARES ME. He seems like he's going to cause some chaos down the line...

Everyone else has spoken maybe about 30 words total to me? so yikes.

TOODLES XOXOXO

Well we just lost the challenge ;( I’m hinestlg not feeling too safe at the moment. I was one of the lower scoring players on the tribe, and the lowest was sent to the basement. Right now I feel like a sitting duck. But on the bright side, I think I made a decent connection with Zach and Timmy. So I’m just gonna talk around find out a vote. If it’s not me yay! If it is, then I’ll just have to somehow fight my way through it :p

Woooo first confessional!! I'm liking the start of this game, and I've decided to take it a bit lighter than past games. I'm here to have fun. This doesn't mean I'm not ready to strategize, but maybe the lighter tone will help me not fall under the same mistakes I always make.

I'm getting closer to Miguel and Shea, which is bad if you consider they were the lowest scores in the challenge... They better start getting more involved in this!!!

The fireplace is on. The tea is warm. I'm getting cozy, and I'm not gonna move any time soon…

So I've gotten a chance to talk with most of the people on my tribe. Right now, my closest ally is probably Karth. We have an established history of working well together, and right now, were searching for the idol together. I'm also pretty close with Ally and Zach, and trying to get closer with Jess, though I can't tell if she thinks I'm too gamebotty or not. Ally, Zach, and Jess also seem to have some kind of relationship with each other. Idk if it's an alliance but it's something. In light of this, I'm going to be trying to get closer with Tim, Dan and Liam. I think Tim and Liam know Jess though so that might be a hurdle I need to deal with. Someone I've left out of this discussion is Timmy. I've talked with every voter so far except Dan, and they all seem okay with letting him go. There's always paranoia that they're all just playing me, but I really doubt it is gonna be the case here. My biggest worry now is what position I'll end up in if we keep losing challenges.

HELLO. Okay so we won the Selfie Scavenger Hunt which is GOOD. Someone I don’t know got sent to isolation for the other tribe but that’s fine. TJ and I were kind of on the same page of sending Jess to keep her safe which is good that we are!! She’ll be fine though because she did the best in the selfie scavenger hunt, unsurprisingly. Haven’t really talked game with anyone besides TJ because there’s hasn’t yet been a need to, but I’ve been having personal conversations with most of my tribe! Isaac just messaged me today which I think is the last one. But yeah! Things are going okay! Woo!

So me and Jess are officially aligned! I shared my idol grid with her and we talked about our tribemates. I really haven't connected with everyone but I have at least talked to them. It appears as if the vote will be Timmy unless someone magically pulls out the idol and plays it on him or the vote somehow flips on to someone else. The scary part is that Timmy is being quiet asf.... and I have no idea what is up his sleeve. The basement twist is gonna be really scary next round if we lose and someone can be sent back to the basement twice in a row…

omg hii.. i love my tribe so far tbh!!! i feel close to zach, karth, stephen, jess, and liam. i feel like i’m in an okay spot. i feel a lil weird about playing with a couple of these ppl again - zach and i played in ts and he killed me in 3rd and won the game, and i played with stephen in embb4 and as, i got him out in embb4 and he got me out in all stars lol.... i’m hoping no past game beef comes into play but we’ll see! i’m voting timmy out this tribal, he hasn’t said a word to me so... Shrug Emoji. hopefully everything goes according 2 plan ! i’m glad karth was “exiled” cuz i think he would’ve been a target and i don’t want that. i’ll do a more in depth and full cast analysis l8r~

Oh Timmy.. I want to keep you safe but I also want to take out any possible people Alyssa can work with in the future... you made the mistake of telling me you brought her into the ORG world jkjk. Sorry <3

ON THE REAL THOUGH.... I can't stick my neck out for someone on DAY 3. If the tribe wants Timmy's neck I gotta help deliver it. I just wish he was more SOCIAL because he would def be someone I would like to work with <3

I came into this game, saw Shea, and had an absolute fucking breakdown djdhdjdj. Like who am I? I need to get it together and push in the challenges because I didn’t help with the first one at all because seeing Shea just did something to me? Like? I’m going to try to put more effort in moving forward but right now I feel like Aubry in Kaoh Rong when she had that attack, hopefully I can recover as well as she did.

Why is Daniel trying so hard to save Timmy akdjsjs. Just... let him go in peace plz... also I'm Timmy starting to talk to people for the 1st time since the day of the vote..

I'm ready to punch a bitch. I have no idea what is happening with this tribal and I just hope it's not me. I keep hearing about the "majority" and people want to vote with the "majority" but nobody is saying who it is and what it is just that they don't want to be the one to say a name. So I'm being forced to say Liam because that's easier than Stephen even though Stephen was the one saying my name, but honestly it is what it is, I haven't spoken to Liam so I don't care that much. I just don't get why people play if they're just going to hide behind someone else because that's so stupid, like just play for you. I'm not just saying that because they're going against me, but like where has Liam been and also Stephen is the most vocal right now and he is going to be a problem later on, I can already tell.

Timmy is voted out 6-2.