#i'm probably not putting this well but does anyone know what i'm talking about. it's killing me.
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cosmicpearlz · 21 hours ago
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end up here
summary: how does one fix a broken patch in a marriage? fake smiles in public and secret animosity behind closed doors doesn't help anyone.
pairing: jude bellingham x reader
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waking up in the morning, you turned your head. finding the empty spot that would've been where your husband laid. you turned back towards the wall and sighed to yourself. the argument that should've only lasted one night with apologizes following later, was going on two weeks now. you stretch your arms and legs out before removing the duvet from your body. stepping into your slippers, you head downstairs to the kitchen.
jude stands shirtless, pajama pants hanging just below his waistline. making two cups of coffee. he heard your footsteps but refused to look at you. a painful reminder of what your shared mornings used to be.
"good morning," you mumbled. almost like a quiet whisper that travels through the cold feeling kitchen.
"good morning. i made you a cup of coffee," jude finally turns and meets your eye for a brief second. looking back down, he stretches the cup to you.
"thank you. aren't we meeting with your family today? and then you have camp for england coming up, right?"
"yup," is all jude said before walking away with his own coffee cup. you couldn't believe this is what your marriage has come to. one-word answers and cold shoulders. to think you guys were happy before the argument. an argument that you both couldn't even remember how it originally started.
-
you and jude walked hand and hand to the front door. not wanting his family to see this rough patch that you guys were going through. you wanted to save the warmth that his hand gave you and put it in a box. missing the affection that was always shared. jude secretly felt the same, he just missed his wife but the pride he carried was too high at the moment. not wanting to be the first to apologize. even though he uttered hurtful words like you had.
"my babies!" denise smiled brightly and pulls you both into a hug. "how was the flight?"
"long. so stupidly long and i'm still jetlagged," you dramatically pouted your lips.
"well come in and relax for a bit darling, lunch is almost ready." jude loved the way you interacted with his family. it made his heart grow twice in size, seeing how soft you became. continually bringing out the side of you he loved seeing every day.
"you alright mate?" jobe asked his brother. following his gaze where they see you talking to their mum and dad.
"just fine," jude lied to the younger boy, pulling him into a hug and pressing a kiss to his head.
jude and jobe head to the living room, sitting down and watching tv. mark soon joins them, leaving you and denise in the kitchen. you sit on the dining room chair and lean your elbows on the table.
"how are you really feeling?"
"i'm okay, works been busy."
"y/n, i mean how are you and jude doing?" she turns to look at you with a raised eyebrow. you groaned and put your head down into your arms.
"is it that obvious?"
"a little. but it's only because i know you guys. always very affectionate and now it's limited to just hand holding." you almost hate how much his mom knew your relationship so well. "talk to me my love." denise puts the pot to a simmer and takes a seat across from you.
"we got into an argument two weeks ago. i don't even remember what the argument was about at this point! we've said some pretty hurtful things and now it's just not the same."
"marriage isn't going to be perfect," she reaches over to grasp your hand. "you guys are probably just stressed and you haven't even got to properly enjoy your new lives as a married couple. this rough patch isn't going to last but it will if you can't communicate with each other."
"but how do i talk to him when he said that we shouldn't have got married?" tears began to pool at your eyes, remembering how he said those hurtful words.
"honey, in no way does he actually believe that. he loves you so much and adores the ground you walk on. don't take this as me excusing what he said, because it was very insensitive and hurtful. what did you say?"
"i told him that maybe we shouldn't have gotten married. then i said that my life would be so much easier if i just never met him," you retold her exactly what you said. once the words come out of your mouth, it left a bitter taste. denise sighs and pats your hand that rested in her hand.
"you both were in the wrong. it should never have to come to this. you guys need to talk right now. end this and i promise you that everything will be okay. just talk to one another. you both love each other, right?"
"yes. i don't know what i'd do without him in my life truthfully."
"then communicate that."
not knowing that jude was having the same conversation with his dad and brother. you tried to compose yourself by wiping the stray tears that fell from your eyes. you missed your husband, and you just wanted to feel his touch once more. jude walked into the kitchen, sending a small smile to his mum.
"can i talk to you love?" jude whispered softly. you nodded and placed your hand in his outstretched one.
-
entering his childhood bedroom, you both sat on the bed. you've been in here many times over the years that you guys dated. it was silent for a while, choosing to look at the walls of the room instead of speaking. it never used to be awkward with jude. everything always flowed naturally, it's what you loved about him.
"i'm sorry-"
"i'm so sorry-"
you both share a light chuckle. not expecting to speak at the same time. even though, it was something that happened often.
"i'm sorry y/n. i didn't mean what i said. marrying you has been the best decision i ever made. getting to wake up and see you next to me or coming home from a hard day and falling into your embrace. truthfully, i fall more in love with you every day. these past two weeks have been completely shitty in comparison to what our normal routine is."
"i feel the same jude. god, i wish i could take back what i said. i don't know what i would do without you. you keep me grounded and sane. you're the best thing that's happened to me. i'm sorry that my pride got in the way of loving you. nothing should ever come in the way of us being in love. it's hard going to sleep without speaking or cuddling."
"my pride got in the way too. we've both hurt each other and i don't want to continue down this path. i love you too much to simply give up now. i miss my beautiful wife."
"and i miss my beautiful husband." jude laughs softly, as you wipe more stray tears. he wasn't laughing at you crying but laughing at the fact that, even with tears and a horsed voice, he found you to be the most precious thing in the world.
"c'mere," jude says, opening his arms as an invitation. you didn't think twice before crawling into his arms. sitting in his lap and wrapping your arms around his neck. his arms wrap around your waist, and you began to cry into his neck. rocking you back and forth, it sends tears of his own to fall onto his cheeks.
"i'm so sorry baby. i don't ever want it to get to this point again," he whispered into your ear.
"me neither," you hiccupped out. jude pulls away from the hug, just to see your face. he takes his free hands and wipes your tear-stained cheeks. once he's finished, he keeps one hand on your cheek and moves the other to rest on your waist. you leaned into his touch, missing the way it felt against your skin.
"still as beautiful as ever."
"even with red eyes and a snotty nose?"
"especially with red eyes and a snotty nose, are you kidding me? you're the prettiest girl."
"you're just saying that because you're my husband," you chuckled to yourself.
"i say it because it's true and i mean it. being your husband is just a plus."
"i love that you're my husband. i love also love that we can go back to normal, goodness gracious i missed you so much."
"i love you so much and will continue to do it for the rest of our lives," jude kisses the tip of your nose and then places a kiss to your forehead. pulling you back into a tight hug.
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icewindandboringhorror · 1 month ago
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I occasionally wish to reach out to old friends/acquaintances I haven't spoken to since high school/some other even earlier time in my life, but I have SOOO little social energy even for required tasks (like making dr phone calls or etc), I never have any leftover for extra ones, and it would be very odd to message someone I haven't spoken to in like 5 years out of the blue but then take 4 entire months to respond back lol.. My natural curiosity with nostalgia/collecting details of the past/etc. (literally if I were born a little earlier I would definitely do scrapbooking or something lol) is very strong, but, alas, not strong enough to beat out the Social Issues Demons apparently
#facebook always does that 'here's a post from this day 8 years ago' thing. and I see old comments interacting#with people and it's so like.. OOOOO~~ where are they now?? what's going on? how much have they changed as people?#how much are they the same? this is fascinating. i should contact them!!' but then it's like... take that to it's logical conclusion though#you would contact them and then IF they even responded it would take you 80 years to respond and then they would#think there was something wrong or that you were trying to be insulting or something. To contact anyone I need to include an 85 page#disclaimer of all of my social issues & mental illness things. 'If i take 3 weeks to reply I promise it has nothing to do with u' etc lol#THIS is why more people need to be into phone calls/voice calls/some form of audio real time communication/etc.#I think one of the main things that's hard about messaging through text for me is it's so unscheduled and open ended#(plus it takes forever if you're talking about anything in detail and gets very long very quickly)#because like you can send a message and then just get a reply whenever. and then you're expected to reply back whenever#so it's like you never know when the response will come or when a new obligation to reply can come up? so it's like this sudden thing with#no outline?? if that makes sense. whereas a phone call is very like 'hello let's schedule a call from 10am - 2pm on thursday'. And you know#EXACTLY when the interaction will start and EXACTLY when it will end and you can plan around it in your schedule easily.#I have the reverse thing of a lot of people (how people don't pick up phone calls/hate calls/only text)#I would literally talk on the phone with a stranger. I would have a discord voice chat with someone I barely know.#if someone I hardly even remember from elementary school asked to have a voice call with me out of nowhere I would do it.#but if a stranger MESSAGED me?? or someone I barely know sent me a TEXT or something?? I will never reply probably#It's just too vague and weird. and you can't read voice tone over text. and the interaction could last forever with no clear end#point and etc. etc. But a call is like. set. established. clear boundaries. you can read the flow of conversation better. rapport. etc. etc#I get that I guess people feel more anonymous or distanced over text?? but you can have fake phone numbers on the computer. or do like disc#rd calls. or zoom without a camera or etc. etc. Also the distance that's present in text is BAD distance because it just means that tone is#not conveyed properly and you will never truly get a sense of the person's conversational vibe or mannerisms or how well you really click.#ANYWAY ghgjh...... I'm so so so interested in concepts of like.. How did that one kid I used to talk to in elementary school#but then they moved away in 5th grade - how did they end up? what are they doing now?? etc. etc. Like despite the severe social anhedonia#and general lack of connection with others I'm just really fascinated in like.. idk. the human development of it all and like#the concept of how we're actually a million different people through the course of our lives ever evolving in different iterations and etc.#PLUS again. i love nostalgia. sometimes old peple you know might remember a shared memory or can tell you about something you forgot#or etc. like it's SUCH A COOL THING in CONCEPT but I am too socially inept generally speaking lol. which people I still talk to today are#familiar with my 'phone call once every few months' communication style. but strangers would just be like... wtf. And I don't blame them#Sure I literally cannot change the physical health + brain issues i have - but also I know enough to not put others through that lol
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bi-writes · 3 months ago
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whats wrong with ai?? genuinely curious <3
okay let's break it down. i'm an engineer, so i'm going to come at you from a perspective that may be different than someone else's.
i don't hate ai in every aspect. in theory, there are a lot of instances where, in fact, ai can help us do things a lot better without. here's a few examples:
ai detecting cancer
ai sorting recycling
some practical housekeeping that gemini (google ai) can do
all of the above examples are ways in which ai works with humans to do things in parallel with us. it's not overstepping--it's sorting, using pixels at a micro-level to detect abnormalities that we as humans can not, fixing a list. these are all really small, helpful ways that ai can work with us.
everything else about ai works against us. in general, ai is a huge consumer of natural resources. every prompt that you put into character.ai, chatgpt? this wastes water + energy. it's not free. a machine somewhere in the world has to swallow your prompt, call on a model to feed data into it and process more data, and then has to generate an answer for you all in a relatively short amount of time.
that is crazy expensive. someone is paying for that, and if it isn't you with your own money, it's the strain on the power grid, the water that cools the computers, the A/C that cools the data centers. and you aren't the only person using ai. chatgpt alone gets millions of users every single day, with probably thousands of prompts per second, so multiply your personal consumption by millions, and you can start to see how the picture is becoming overwhelming.
that is energy consumption alone. we haven't even talked about how problematic ai is ethically. there is currently no regulation in the united states about how ai should be developed, deployed, or used.
what does this mean for you?
it means that anything you post online is subject to data mining by an ai model (because why would they need to ask if there's no laws to stop them? wtf does it matter what it means to you to some idiot software engineer in the back room of an office making 3x your salary?). oh, that little fic you posted to wattpad that got a lot of attention? well now it's being used to teach ai how to write. oh, that sketch you made using adobe that you want to sell? adobe didn't tell you that anything you save to the cloud is now subject to being used for their ai models, so now your art is being replicated to generate ai images in photoshop, without crediting you (they have since said they don't do this...but privacy policies were never made to be human-readable, and i can't imagine they are the only company to sneakily try this). oh, your apartment just installed a new system that will use facial recognition to let their residents inside? oh, they didn't train their model with anyone but white people, so now all the black people living in that apartment building can't get into their homes. oh, you want to apply for a new job? the ai model that scans resumes learned from historical data that more men work that role than women (so the model basically thinks men are better than women), so now your resume is getting thrown out because you're a woman.
ai learns from data. and data is flawed. data is human. and as humans, we are racist, homophobic, misogynistic, transphobic, divided. so the ai models we train will learn from this. ai learns from people's creative works--their personal and artistic property. and now it's scrambling them all up to spit out generated images and written works that no one would ever want to read (because it's no longer a labor of love), and they're using that to make money. they're profiting off of people, and there's no one to stop them. they're also using generated images as marketing tools, to trick idiots on facebook, to make it so hard to be media literate that we have to question every single thing we see because now we don't know what's real and what's not.
the problem with ai is that it's doing more harm than good. and we as a society aren't doing our due diligence to understand the unintended consequences of it all. we aren't angry enough. we're too scared of stifling innovation that we're letting it regulate itself (aka letting companies decide), which has never been a good idea. we see it do one cool thing, and somehow that makes up for all the rest of the bullshit?
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pomefioredove · 3 months ago
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Hey Dove~
I was reading through the different headcannons and the mute reader really caught my attention. Could you possibly do the Vice Wardens (including Ruggie cuz he's basically second in command anyway) with Yuu that has a speech impediment? Basically they stutter/stumble on words, get them mixed up, pronounces them wrong, and maybe forgets certain words. And obviously with new arcana and magical words (and the weird ahh names some of these characters have) they can get pretty frusterated or embarressed.
You always have such good headcannons!! Feel free to throw in any other characters that you like to the mix as well!!
OH this hits close to home too. I stutter and mispronounce things when I do speak, so I'm using that for reference
twst x mute reader
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ reader with a speech impediment
summary: as described type of post: headcanons characters: trey, ruggie, jade, jamil, rook, lilia additional info: romantic or platonic, reader is gender neutral, reader is not specified to be yuu
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see, I don't think Trey would say anything about it
he's not one to criticize strangeness
that would be rude, first of all
second of all, there's no such thing as "normal" at NRC
(even so, some people may point it out, but he's not one of them)
he doesn't have any trouble understanding you, either
he grew up with younger siblings who pronounced owl as "awa" and kitty as "shishi" until they were six
he's certainly patient
and he knows how to use context
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
honestly? Ruggie didn't even... notice?
for a while, he just thought you talked fast
he knows how it goes; you get excited or nervous or whatever, and you end up stumbling all over yourself
no biggie
then one day you come up to him all sad and teary, apologizing for a speech impediment he didn't even know you had, and he's like...
...oh! no!
of course he's not annoyed!
Ruggie's an adaptive guy, after all. when he wants something, he'll bend backwards for it
you think a little stuttering is gonna stop him from being friends with you?
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
much like Trey, Jade doesn't say anything
he just watches you talk
and smiles
like this -> :)
it's not that he's particularly concerned about being rude, he's just...
observing
humans are such fascinating creatures, he thinks
he learns all of your quirks just by listening to you
which words you have trouble with, which ones you mix up and forget, which consonants you stumble over...
he teaches himself your language
and he becomes a sort of translator for you
any time someone is rude to you, he'll come out of nowhere and tell them everything you said in the exact order you said it
weird, but nice
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
to put it plainly, Jamil has bigger problems
whether or not he can understand you doesn't really matter to him
it's not his job to worry over you
then, you come to him asking for help, and...
...well, he's flattered
he can't deny he likes that you come to him for guidance before anyone else
because of this, (and because he had to learn how to control his own tongue when he was little), he takes pity on you
whether your goal is to work on your speech, or to simply feel less anxiety about it, he's there
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
is it cliche to say that Rook already knows exactly what you're thinking?
perhaps, but it's true
he's mastered the art of observation
he can read your thoughts in your expression, your body language, even the slightest twitch in your lips gives you away
he just knows
you don't have to be a good speaker, or a speaker at all, to communicate with Rook
(and he can do all the talking for you if you'd like, he'd probably enjoy that)
and, of course, he is of the opinion that there is beauty in everything
you don't need to be perfectly clear and concise for him to like you
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
now, I can't guarantee that Lilia won't tease a little
only in good fun, of course
and only if you respond in kind
but he does find it rather cute when you mispronounce something, or mix up your words
he won't correct you or interrupt you, either
he'll step in to help if you're really struggling, of course, but he thinks of you as capable
he does remind you to take breathers when you're getting too anxious about it, though
he cares <3
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sugarlywhispers · 3 months ago
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b.katsuki x reader (fem)
a.n; i blame this completely over the Olympics, again. sorry, but it has me on chokehold and i'm not resisting against it LOL 😜
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Okay, hear me out...
Third date with Bakugou Katsuki.
The first one, of course, was very awkward and tense and sometimes even a bit worrisome. We are talking about dating Bakugou Katsuki, the one aggressive and violent Pro Hero that everybody has a hate-love feeling towards for; because the man looks and acts –and can– step on your head and crush it with malicious intent and yet, he's Nº 2 Pro Hero on the ranks and you just know that if he's around, you are completely safe. But he's big and tough and harsh in his talking and walking –how can anyone look that scary by just walking, you're still wondering, but it's real. He's fucking scary.
The second date was way more relaxed. He cooked for you. In his massive penthouse that probably costs more than your annual salary. Yep, morherfucker is rich rich. And you think he deserves it really. After all the troubles he goes through to keep the whole country safe –and even the world–, he completely deserves it. You just forgot how well he does his job to get to be that rich. You don't care about money though. You're dating him because you saw him helping a granny cross the street and that was the cutest thing you ever saw. So, back to the second date, he cooked for you, and damn... now you can say you'll keep dating him because of his food. Man cooks like the gods, like a fucking professional chef of the most expensive restaurant on earth. And also, you noticed how relaxed and in peace he looked in his own environment and he looked. So. Freaking. Attractive. Hot even. He looked just so... deliciously handsome.
So for the third date, and because he picked the second one, this one was of your choice. You decide to go ice skating. And you did not expect what happened at all. 
One would expect that Pro Hero Dynamight, civilian name Bakugou Katsuki, being who he is, would have exceptional balance and even a hidden talent for this. You’re wrong. Everyone is wrong. The second the blades of his skates touched the Ice Rink, he fell. Your eyes opened wide and you definitely were holding back your laugh as he struggled to get himself up by holding the handrail around the rink.
“Need some help?” You asked, getting close to him with no trouble at all. He looked up at you annoyed, struggling so hard to get up and keep his balance that his cheeks turned pink. How. Freaking. Cute. You’re glad that dating the Pro Hero came with its perks –like closing the whole rink just so only you and him are there, enjoying your date on a late wednesday night.
“Shut up. No, I can do it…” He declared, but another fall on his knees made you giggle while sliding backwards and away from him with ease, hands up in surrender. Katsuki looked at you once his stood for the nth time holding the handrail like dear life with a frown on his face, watching you how easy you made it look, “How the fuck are you doing that?”
You giggled again, amused by all of this situation. Sliding back towards him and extending your hands, you said, “Come one, let me help.”
Katsuki buffed but he placed his hands on yours, whole body trembling, barely holding himself up. The image of him sticking his ass up and body bending forward while his feet barely moved made you laugh out loud and he yelled another “shut up!”.
You changed your grip to his forearms and again slid backwards to make him move forward, his legs still trembling and his eyes never leaving the floor. He looked so cute, it made your heart flutter. The smile never left your face as you spoke again, “I used to skate a lot when I was younger. I even prepared myself to compete, but an injury put me out of the game.” 
He immediately looked back at you at your words, “What happened?” He looked curious, but also worried and kind of sad.
You shrugged, “I landed pretty badly over my right leg after a spinning jump once. After that, the shin splints became unbearable and I couldn't continue…” 
He looked down at your leg, watching you move attentively, “Does it hurt now?”
You shook your head and smiled at him, grateful for his worry, “Naah. It would only hurt badly if I tried to skate the way I used to… Guess I demanded a lot of myself back then.”
Katsuki didn’t comment further on, but he kept his attention on your leg. Didn’t that make him even cuter! 
It took you a while –long while– to finally be able to let go of one of his forearms once he was ready on his balance; his other hand still held yours strongly.
Time went by, both of you laughing and smiling while skating around the rink, hand in hand. You’re so happy that you could stand on the ice again. It brought you so many fond memories of when you were a kid. Skating was the only thing that could easily make you smile just because; the wind in your face made you feel free, content. and Katsuki could clearly see that.
For a moment, he got distracted by how beautiful you looked… and he lost his balance again. This time bringing you down with him. He was fast enough though to catch you and make you land over him. Your amused and loud laugh was contagious, so he couldn’t help but smile. He's having fun –even if he knew his body was going to hurt a bit the next day for how many falls he had.
“You’re so clumsy…” You laughed, joking kindly and funny.
“Oh, yeah? Then why don’t you show me what you can do?” His smirk made you suddenly stop laughing. It’s a clear challenge, yet curiosity shined in his eyes.
“Alright, hero… watch and learn,” you helped him stand up and directed him towards the handrail. 
Once he was away from possible harm, Katsuki watched you skate around the rink as if you were flying, gliding around with so much confidence and ease, as if you were made for it. Your hair floating behind you for how fast you were going, dancing beautifully with the air. He was hypnotized. Completely mesmerized by each little form you decided to enlighten him with. He particularly felt fascinated when you decided to spin fast and so many times he couldn’t count how many, then you stopped like it had been nothing and kept gliding around. 
You looked so nice and professional, Katsuki felt a little pang of pity for the world. It would never be able to share how beautifully perfect you looked at the moment.
A few more glides around, until you stopped in a very experienced way right in front of him, a huge smile on your face and a shine on your eyes that were proof of how immensely excited and happy you felt.
Did katsuki say already how fucking beautiful you were?
Just to prove his point, he instantly grabbed your face and kissed you for the very first time.
And fuck, he planned on keep kissing you as much as you would let him.
He let you go for a moment just to say, “That was beautiful… You’re gorgeous.”
You smiled one more time before sliding your arms around his neck to kiss him again. He moved a bit to surround your waist with his arms…
And that’s when he forgot about the handrail and sent you both again towards the floor.
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fabricated-misslieness · 4 months ago
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ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: tyler owens x gn reader
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ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: 2.39k | part 2
ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ: not communicating and not talking about your feelings (not miscommunication since you don't even communicate)
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☾⋆☆⋆☽
There's too many beds.
The one night where you guys don't manage to make it to a motel, there's too many damn beds.
The camper van can fit pretty much all of you at once, not that the seven of you will do that anyway. Dani and Dexter have claim on it, as the drivers, and will probably accept two more comfortably.
In Lilly's van there's the backseat and the floor, but if we're counting, for how many beds there are by technicality, the two front seats as well.
You always have tents and sleeping bags around too, just in case you guys can't drive everyone from any recently unfortunate communities to the nearest hotel (although you'd certainly try). To give a rough estimate, about a dozen tents?
Then there's Tyler's truck, the two front seats and the back seat, and the truck bed. It's a bit short, but it can fit plenty people curled up.
So what to choose?
You should probably stay in a car. Much more heat that way, but who's gonna take you in? The designated drivers obviously prefer their own cars, so... Dexter's campervan is pretty spacious? Then again, so's Lilly's, and to be honest she's more of a vibe than the other two, but also why would you need vibes if you're just sleeping?
Maybe you should start a fire, huddle around that? No, that's a hazard, nevermind the fact you only know how to start a fire in theory.
Let's stick to a car, then. Lilly or Dex & Dan for space... Lilly, sure, why not?
As you start heading over to Lilly's van, you hear a sharp whistle. You don't have time to wonder who it's from, as Tyler spins you around.
"You're coming with me." He proclaims, taking you by the shoulders, and you can only laugh.
"Why me?"
Tyler grins, walking you unceremoniously towards his truck bed. "Because you're you, dove." That alone sounds rather intimate, so he fixes his mistake quickly. You're just friends, after all. "And Boone kicks people in his sleep, Lilly's hair gets everywhere, Dani steals the blankets, Dexter snores, and Ben...it's pitiful how he squeezes himself into the corner whenever he's sleeping next to someone, so we always give him his own space."
Right, all good points you'd forgotten.
"So why exactly am I better?" You tease, stopping in your tracks so Tyler bumps into your back and stay close.
"You're warm." And at first it seems like that's the only thing he'll say, your only benefit, as he pauses; but then the rest comes spilling out like a toad strangler. "You're also soft, you don't steal the blanket, you don't complain when I suddenly start talking and you don't snore."
Tyler doesn't mention that the two of you cuddle when you bunk together, and that you bunk together often. He doesn't mention how tonight he'll let you cuddle up on his chest, or perhaps how he'll press his nose against yours and let you play with his hair, because simply mentioning it will mean you'll have to talk about it.
You don't want to talk about, you think; and neither does he. You don't want to talk about how there's something different with the way he slings his arm around your shoulder, or the way you knock your head against his, or how he always gives out your share of whatever (pizza, cookies, etc.) before anyone else, or how you always offer your help to him no matter what.
They're always easy things to ignore, his skinship is not conditional and neither is your kindness, but there's something about the way you look into his eyes when you say thank you, and something about the way his touch lingers.
You don't want to put your finger on it, at least not this season. You'll say it again the next season, and the next, but you ignore that.
"So then I'm your favorite person?" You turn around and bonk your fist against his chest.
He whistles again, drawn-out like he does in awkward moments, but you know it's only playful. "Don't push your luck, dove. You're like... top 5!"
"Top 5? Aww," You feign offense, plopping your hand over your own chest now, "I didn't make it to top 3?"
He splays out his hand and begins to count on his fingers. "There's my mom, then my dad, then the family dog, Liam from the rodeo, and then you."
"The family dog?" Your eyebrows furrow, and the acting seems a bit too real until the look on your face gives away to a memory of his dog giving you kisses. "Oh, yeah, okay. I get it."
"See? You get it." Tyler chuckles, spins you back around and keeps on walking.
The spot you guys picked today is drier than the last, which is something you're thankful for. It's quite far from any town, but the streetlights that adorn the far off road make you feel a bit safer that civilization is just around the corner. There's a light breeze, not too cold and not too fast, and the stars! Oh, the stars.
They're damn nice out here cause they're actually visible tonight, a little less light pollution, you think. It's certainly a lot brighter than, say, NYC or Washington.
"Ain't they pretty today?" Tyler comments, his hands on your shoulders squeezing.
"Yeah. Sparkly too. You know any constellations?"
"No," He hums, his voice holding a bit of lament. "I tried, once. I tried taking a class in college. Astrology."
"How'd that go?" You ask offhandedly, hopping onto the bed of the truck.
"Ended up being too stressed with my main curriculum and dropped the class before it got too far." He fixes a tarp over the top of the truck bed, over the exoskeleton, so not much light will shine over your eyes when you try to sleep.
"The smart Tyler Owens got too stressed?" You ask as you help him up.
"Being smart doesn't mean I have good time management." Tyler says as he sits next to you, and you shrug. Suppose he's right.
"Still pretty though." You hum, leaning your head against his shoulder as you look up.
"Yeah." He agrees. His arm comes to wrap around you naturally, running up and down your side. "Have you ever tried to come up with constellations with... I don't know, whoever you were looking at the sky with?"
"You know what? I don't think so." You raise a finger, tracing a path in the stars for a moment, trying to find something interesting.
He finds one before you, pointing at a group of stars in a weird glob shape. "There, a cloud!"
That alone gets you to let out an ugly, surprised laugh; despite how ugly you might've thought it to be, he thinks it's cute. "You trynna cloudgaze with stars, cowboy?"
"Shut up." He laughs, knocking his head against yours. "You try, genius."
After a couple seconds, you point out a distinct...cone shape in the sky. "Unicorn horn."
"Unicorn horn?"
"What am I supposed to say, cone?"
"You could've said ice cream cone, a little more age appropriate, you know?" He holds out his hand, holding out a small gap between his index and thumb fingers to accentuate little.
"Yeah, well it has no ice cream, dumbass."
"Woah," Tyler withdraws, raising his hands in surrender. "no need to get so defensive, dove."
You slap his hands only to draw them back around you. He has no complaints about that. "Clearly we both suck at this. Let's just admire the stars normally."
He huffs out a laugh but turns his gaze back to the night sky without complaint. It's rather peaceful, this moment, and so nice. Maybe it's not rare that you get comfortably quiet moments with him, nor is it ever rare for Tyler to hold you close like this, but it doesn't make it any less endearing.
"Look!" Tyler breaks the silence suddenly, finger tracing a path in the stars. "A heart."
"You're kidding." You huff out. He's just playing with you, he has to be, especially after your miserable attempts at finding shapes in the sky.
Despite yourself, your eyes will the stars above you into the shape of a heart. Goddamnit, you think, because it's definitely a sign.
"I'm going to sleep." You tear yourself away from his grip and he laughs and tries to steal you back to him, but you fight briefly and end up winning. It's a nice victory, especially because you won over him, but it's not on par with actually finding something in the sky (and you're avoiding the sign).
Tyler chases after you, flopping down beside you. The tarp above casts darkness over the back of the truck bed, but a soft glow still shines through.
You sigh and tuck a hair of Tyler's behind his ear, to which he only laughs. "Jealous, much?"
"Oh, totally." You'd roll your eyes, but they're stuck on his.
"I won." He's triumphant, but you can only focus on how pretty his smile looks.
"You did." You reply, not fighting him on it, and slowly his amusement fades away with the deflation of his body.
"You're not making this fun." Tyler steals your hand, presses the back of it to his lips and notably does not pucker up and kiss. It might be payback, or it might be avoiding the obvious intimacy that kissing you is.
"It wasn't a competition, anyway." You remind him, and he rolls his eyes.
His attitude eventually exudes out of him with a sigh, and he lets go of your hand to push closer. His head rests below your chin, his nose against your neck, and it's not new, but it's not old either.
"I'm sick n' tired of you." He huffs against your neck as you take the opportunity to tuck the both of you in.
You hold back a laugh. "Oh, yeah? Tell me why."
His voice is muffled against your neck, and maybe the vibrations tickle, but you don't dare move away. "I won! We should be celebrating that."
"Celebrate it in your dreams." Despite it being practically the same thing as in your dreams, it actually sounds quite genuine.
"Don't be like that," Tyler whines. "let me stay up for a little while."
You put your hand in his hair, then, twirling strands around your fingers and scratching his scalp, and Tyler hates you and also loves you, because it feels so good that it pulls a groan out of him, but it's lulling him to sleep.
"You're cheating." He whines again. He's being rather childish, huh?
"It's way past your bedtime." You say in a sing-songy way. Curiosity takes over, and you pull his head away from you gently to look into his eyes.
They open once you pull him off you, just barely. Half-lidded, not by lust, but by sleep. "I just wanna hold you for a little while longer." He says, and you don't know how he does it, but his eyes have turned pleading.
"That's on you to try, cowboy." You huddle close again, allowing him to take up the same position as before.
Despite himself, Tyler sighs contently, wrapping his arms around your midriff. One of your hands is on his back, rubbing slow circles, and the other is back on his hair.
He's definitely not going to last long now.
"When's the last time you've ridden a horse?" Tyler babbles on to try to keep awake, but you can hear the sleepy lilt in his voice. "I think my last time was when I last visited home, before the season started."
"One sheep over the fence, two sheep over the fence–"
"Shuddup."
You laugh, hands smoothing over his hair again. You're not sure how you're not very sleepy right now, tucked under the blankets, in his warm hold. Maybe it's the subconscious thought of not accidentally hitting your head on the spare wheel above you, or the faraway feel of the ridges of the truck bed below you.
Or maybe it's wanting to tease him.
"Kiss me."
"What?"
You've kissed before, little playful things: cheek kisses for the camera, neck kisses to either scare you or tickle you, forehead kisses after particularly dangerous scares, hand kisses when he's trying to act all gentlemanly, temple kisses after hugs. You've never kissed him on the lips before, and actually, neither of you have ever explicitly asked for a kiss. They've always been given without question.
"Please?" He asks again, pulling back so that his forehead is off your neck.
Oh, he only wanted a forehead kiss.
You oblige happily, press your lips against his forehead and let out and exaggerated muah!
"No, not there." He pulls away almost entirely, scooting up to be face to face.
You'd laugh, if what he was asking you for wasn't a kiss on the lips. You can't lie, you've thought about it before, when the sun shines a particular way over his face at sunset, or when he's considerably too hot to ignore.
...you're going to have to talk about this tomorrow.
Except tomorrow is not today yet, and so you cup his cheek. You debate it for a moment, a yes or a no, but there's one answer clear in your mind, a yes.
You press your lips against his, and it's more subtle than that forehead kiss, and it feels so much more tangible, in a way. His lips move against yours, a languid thing, a soft thing.
You wonder if he's going to remember this tomorrow, if being as sleepy as this is equivalent to being drunk.
"Thank you." Tyler says as you part, and he settles back where he was, head against your neck. He seems satisfied now, willing to nod off.
"Don't mention it." You say automatically.
Okay you're definitely going to have to talk about this tomorrow. For now, though, you'll just hold him. It's a strange thing to say, but he's always been rather nice to hold, a big man to fill your entire hug, even if he does make your heartbeat spike.
"Goodnight." He says.
"Sweet dreams." You reply.
There's nothing else to think about but the feeling of him in your arms and the warmth of his body as your eyes draw closed.
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sweetestcaptainhughes · 2 months ago
Note
“Don’t touch me. We’re fighting.”
Quinn pleaseeee 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
I'm gonna put a warning on this because I like it so I don't feel like rewriting it. Warning: shitty relationship with father.
Drabble Masterlist
"Don't touch me. We're fighting."
Quinn didn't seem to care that you were pissed. But pissed didn't even describe the soreness in your jaw from clenching it so tight or the fact that your body temperature was elevated or that all you wanted to do was scream. Glancing over as he stood on the other side of the kitchen island, his face was as it always was calm, his thoughts were probably collected while your brain was firing off things to add to the fire if needed, he looked like he was in control of his body while yours was being controlled by the rage inside you. Looking at Quinn only pissed you off more so you just looked away.
After a minute, you decided it was best to walk away and cool off before you said something you'd regret. Quinn on the other hand, wasn't done fighting he wanted you to understand his point of view and he didn't wanna wait till morning. As you made your way down the hall you could hear Quinn's footsteps behind you.
"Wait Y/N, Let me explain." He went to gently touch your arm in hopes that you would stop walking away from him.
He got his wish, you turned around talking through your teeth you grunted. "Don't touch me. We're fighting."
Quinn has never pulled away from you so quickly before. Even with how angry you were at him it still hurt you how fast he pulled away. Quinn was looking at the floor, for the first time showing emotion since your fight started. "I was just trying to help."
All you could do is sigh. "By telling my father off?" you question defeat clear in your voice. "Quinn I've been over this with you, my family isn't like your family. You can't just voice your opinions to my dad, especially if it's you disagreeing with him or his choices."
Quinn looked up at you finally, he frowned his eyebrows in annoyance but you knew it wasn't at you. "Well I am mad at him. He shouldn't be allowed to talk down to you and blame you for not getting along with your stepmom when all she does is talk down to you. I couldn't sit there and let her talk down to you at dinner. Okay. And I guess I'm sorry for how it came up, but I am not sorry for standing up for you."
"Quinn I know you were trying to stand up for me. But I don't need you or anyone to stand up for me, especially against my family. Okay?" you ask waiting for him to acknowledge you.
"No. I'm sorry because how can you let them tell you that you aren't as far in your career as you should be as if they helped at all with the cost of college. Or the fact that all they did all dinner was telling you everything you were doing wrong with your life?" His tone was accusing and you found yourself taking a step back, your body was exhausted and all you wanted to was get out of this ichy dress and go to bed.
"I don't wanna have this conversation tonight." you begged.
"I just don't understand why do you even keep him around Y/N!"
"Okay since you seem to not be able to understand why I let them talk that way to you let me explain it to you so we never have to talk about this again got it?" you ask waiting for Quinn to nod his head before you continue. "Look my dad might be a piece of shit, but guess what he's my piece of shit father not anyone else's. Everyone always ask me for years 'Y/N if I were you, I'd cut him off why don't you.' For a long time I didn't have an answer for them but as I got older I do and it's this. Because he might be a piece of shit but without him I wouldn't be standing here physically because he is physically half of me. And I know you have lovely parents Quinn and brothers. But not everyone does and I am terrifed that if I do cut him out all the way vs seeing him three times a year like I do now. That one day I will get a call and he will be dead and I will have regret for not at least having him in some capactiy in my life. So because of that fear of regret because I know many people who have it now since their parents passed. I keep him around and if you can't understand that fine, not everyone does."
Taking a step closer to Quinn you add, "but whether you agree or not, you don't get to judge me for the choices I've made when it comes to the relationship between my father and I. Because that is exactly what it is." Pointing to yourself. "It's MY relationship not yours and you also don't get to make it more shaky then it already is by yelling at him in the middle of the steakhouse."
Quinn and you aren't sure how long you stood in your apartment hallway, it could of been seconds it could of been minutes. At some point Quinn looked at you and said "agree to disagree." All you did was nod and you both said true to your word you never talked about your father and your relationship ever again.
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dandylovesturtles · 4 months ago
Text
And here it is, part 4 of the Room Fic! ...or well. part of part 4.
see, Part 4 is going to be pretty long and take me awhile, so I decided to release it on tumblr as I go, in parts. and since we're already in a numbered list, I'll go by letters now. So this is Part 4 Part A!
it's fine, it makes sense!
I'm going to release it here on tumblr in parts, and then when it's all done I'll put it on AO3, and probably do some proper editing and may add/fix some things up once the whole thing is written. So consider this a semi-WIP. but I doubt it will change much because I usually don't change things too much after I finish writing them haha
anyway, hope you enjoy!
content warnings: discussions of food issues, anxiety, aftermath of torture
also, if you're confused, start here!
-----
Raph spots the change in Leo’s train car on the way to breakfast. He stops and tries to make sense of it for a minute, before making his way to the kitchen.
Mikey is already there, as is Splinter, making some tea. “Morning!” Mikey trills, scraping some scrambled eggs into a big platter.
“Mornin’,” Raph echoes back. He meant to sound neutral at worst, but his tone still earns a worried look from Mikey.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothin’s wrong,” Raph says quickly. “I just… noticed Leo did some redecorating.”
“Oh, yeah…” Mikey chews on his lip. “What’s up with that?”
“I dunno, but it makes Raph uneasy.”
“What is it?” asks Splinter, looking at them each in turn. 
“Leo covered up all his windows,” Mikey tells him.
“Ah, I see.” Splinter sets cups in front of them, followed by the tea pot. “I will go check on him.”
Splinter leaves Mikey and Raph looking at each other uncertainly.
“Why would he need the windows covered?” asks Mikey. “What does he need to hide from here?”
“I dunno, Mike.” Raph sighs. “I guess he doesn’t feel safe yet.”
“But he’s home,” Mikey insists. “He’s with us.”
“Yeah,” says Raph, because he doesn’t know what else to say.
“I told him to talk to us if anything’s bothering him.” Mikey taps the spatula against the empty skillet. “He said he would, but…”
Raph doesn’t know if he should feel surprised or not. “He hasn’t talked to you about anything?”
Mikey scowls. “Nothing important,” he says.
Raph chuckles. “Well, you are his little brother-“
“I’m not that little!” Mikey snaps, throwing the spatula down and rounding on Raph. 
Raph’s a little surprised by the sudden anger. Sure, Mikey has been insisting on his independence more and more, but this is more aggressive than usual.
“Raph didn’t mean anything by it,” he says, but Mikey doesn’t stop glaring. Raph is saved by Splinter’s return.
“He is sleeping quite soundly,” their dad announces, hopping up onto a stool and grabbing for the platter of eggs. “He was even drooling a bit.” Splinter chuckles.
“Okay, but you’re going to ask about it when he wakes up, right?” asks Mikey.
“No.” Splinter scoops the eggs onto his plate. “If he wants to explain, he will.”
“You don’t think it’s… I dunno. Concerning?” Raph asks.
“It is not hurting anyone. And it has helped your brother sleep. There’s nothing wrong with it,” says Splinter, and it has an air of finality.
Mikey looks unsatisfied with that outcome, but he doesn’t say anything. He fixes a plate for Leo and puts it into the microwave for safekeeping.
Raph isn’t sure where he lands. All he knows is that he sure as heck isn’t going to be the one to ask about it.
-----
Leo comes in about twenty minutes later, after they’ve already finished eating. He’s still wearing his pajamas, one of his thinner throw blankets, with the Jupiter Jim logo, pulled around his shoulders like a shawl. If you focus on his torso, he almost looks like a healthy teenager, thanks to his shell.
But his hands are still drawn and thin where they grip the fabric, his wrists bony where they peek out of his sleeves. His cheeks are still sunken in and his skin hasn’t regained its usual vibrancy. And there’s a subtle shake to his movements, like the effort it took to walk from his room to the kitchen was immense.
Oh, and there’s the absolutely devastated look on his face when he sees the empty plates.
Raph remembers, again, when Leo had practically begged them not to let him sleep through breakfast in the motel, and he feels a sick twist of his stomach.
“Geez, you guys didn’t leave any for me?” he asks, and his voice sounds light and joking and completely at odds with the expression on his face. Raph is pretty sure Leo doesn’t even know he looks like that; their self-appointed face man, who usually has so much control over his appearance, not even aware of how far his heart has slipped onto his sleeve.
“We have you a plate right here,” says Mikey, scrambling to open the microwave. “Want me to warm it up any?”
“No,” says Leo a little too quickly. His eyes stay locked on the plate even as he pulls on a smile that is so carefree it’s in obvious opposition with the rest of him. “I’m sure it’s fine - thanks, Angelo.”
Mikey tries to smile as he hands the lukewarm plate of eggs and toast to Leo. Leo takes it and grabs his fork with urgency he tries not to show. His bites are so steady and evenly paced that Raph bets he could clap the beat out if he wanted to - Leo doing all he can not to look like he’s scarfing.
Okay, so Leo clearly isn’t better yet; it doesn’t take a genius to figure that out. Any conversations Raph wants to have about what happened in that room will have to wait. That’s okay - he can be patient.
To keep from watching too obviously, he takes out his phone. April texted the group chat twenty minutes ago, saying she had some homework to catch up on but she’ll be coming over later today. Raph’s glad, because having her around keeps them all in better spirits. He spends way longer than necessary trying to find the exact gif to use as a reaction to the news.
“Can I have another piece of toast?” Leo asks, pulling Raph’s attention from his phone. He’s already eaten the ones Mikey gave him, and about half his eggs. He taps his fork against the empty half of his plate at a quick pace.
Is this the first time Leo has actually asked for something outright? Raph isn’t sure.
Mikey grimaces and checks his phone. “Barry said to give you that much… Oh, but if you’re still hungry, you can have yogurt!”
He opens the fridge to retrieve it. Leo scowls, scooping up a bite of eggs with more force than before, the scrape of metal on porcelain.
“Barry said,” he grumbles. “How long do we gotta listen to that guy?”
“He’s doing a lot of work to help you, Leo,” says Raph. “He seems to know what he’s talkin’ about.”
“Aw, come on. It’s one piece of toast!” Leo leans toward Mikey. “It’s not gonna hurt me!”
His voice is light, almost joking, but he’s doing it again: that sad, pitiful look. Raph is sure he doesn’t know he’s doing it.
It feels impossible to deny that face. Raph looks at Mikey, who looks back at him, both of them equally unsure.
“Well…” says Mikey weakly, glancing back toward the toaster. He’s going to give in, and Raph can’t blame him. Splinter doesn’t step in to help, either. “Barry said…”
Leo smiles. It looks almost manic. “What Draxum doesn’t know won’t hurt him,” he says in a singsong.
“What won’t I know?”
Raph jumps. Everyone jumps - some family of ninja they are.
Draxum stands at the foot of the escalator into their makeshift kitchen, arms folded. Raph has to hold back a sigh of relief, and he sees Mikey’s shoulders sag in turn. Leo scowls, whirling to glare at Draxum.
“Oh, come on!” he snaps. “Don’t you have other teenagers to torture today?”
“It’s Saturday,” says Draxum, crossing the room to sit at a chair. “So you have the benefit of my full attention.”
“Auuugh,” Leo groans, slumping dramatically at the table, and ignoring the effect his casual use of the word torture has had on everyone else in the room. Raph feels ill. Mikey looks it.
“Can Blue have another piece of toast?” Splinter asks, cutting through the awkward silence that follows this. He sounds almost annoyed as Leo, but as far as Raph can tell he’s letting Draxum take the lead on this one. Raph wonders if they’ve talked about it without him or his brothers around.
“Hmmm…” Draxum looks at Leo’s plate, considering. “Finish your eggs and yogurt first. If you’re still hungry, you may have another piece. But only if you’re hungry.” His expression turns even more stern, leveled directly at Leo. “Do not eat if your stomach is full. You’ll make yourself sick.”
“I’m not gonna make myself sick,” Leo argues.
“Hmph,” says Draxum, the short noise coated thick in disbelief. He doesn’t say anything more. Leo goes back to his rhythmic eating.
Raph grabs the empty plates from Mikey and Splinter and takes them to wash. Anything to keep himself from staring at Leo. And it’s his lucky day: there’s a whole stack of a distraction waiting for him in the sink. He runs the hot water and gets to work.
“Morning, family,” comes Donnie’s sleepy voice a few minutes later. Raph doesn’t look, and he doesn’t have to, because Donnie characteristically beelines straight for the coffee pot on the counter. Raph knew he went to his room after their talk in the lab the day before, but he’s not sure how much sleep Donnie actually got.
He leans sluggishly against the counter and checks his phone while the coffee brews. Raph keeps his focus on the dishes. Leo finishes his eggs and Draxum agrees to half a piece of toast - Mikey scrapes his stool against the floor as he jumps up to make it.
Donnie fills his mug and immediately takes a drink with no fear of scalding his mouth. Then he turns around and says, “Why’d you cover all the windows in your train car, Leo?”
Raph fumbles and drops the dish he had just pulled from the soapy water - thankfully it doesn’t break on the way down. Next to him, Mikey freezes. The toaster dings into the silence.
“Oh, that,” says Leo, nonchalant. Raph doesn’t turn around, so he has no idea if his face matches his tone this time. “I was just trying to envision how the room would look with curtains.”
“Using towels?”
“What can I say, I’m a visual guy.”
“Hmm…” Donnie pushes off the counter and disappears from Raph’s view. “Well, did you decide you want curtains?”
“Uh, yeah… I think it would really up the feng shui in the joint! And our old rooms didn’t have any windows, so too much light gets into the train car when I’m trying to sleep, anyway.”
The argument rolls so naturally off Leo’s tongue that Raph is impressed.
“Okay,” says Donnie simply. “I can install curtain rods in your room later. I actually have some leftover scrap metal that I’ve been trying to find a purpose for, and I think it will work well for this.”
“Really? You’ll do it today?”
“Yes. I don’t have anything else on my to-do list… that can’t wait until tomorrow.”
Leo chuckles, but he sounds genuinely happy when he says, “Thanks, Dee.”
“And I have some leftover fabric I can sew into curtains,” Splinter adds. “You can use them until you’re well enough to find some you prefer.”
“Yeah? You don’t mind?”
“Of course not, Blue! It will be a nice little project to keep my old hands busy.”
“Thanks, Dad,” says Leo sincerely. There’s some shifting around like he’s getting an ever-coveted Splinter Hug. It lasts a beat longer than those hugs normally do. Raph can’t blame his dad - if he could, he’d pick Leo up and never let him go again.
He hears a clink next to him and turns his head. Mikey has buttered Leo’s toast, but now he’s standing still, a pensive frown on his face, the butter knife clenched in his fist.
“Hey, Leo,” he says, turning around, and Raph senses danger. He turns around, too, watching as Mikey approaches the table. “Is that the only reason you want curtains?”
Leo looks between the toast and Mikey’s face. He tenses up, the empty yogurt cup crinkling in his grip. “Yeah, that’s all,” he says.
“Are you sure?” Mikey asks. He still has the half slice of toast in his hands. Leo’s eyes keep catching on it.
“What’s there to be sure about, Miguel?” he asks. “It’s just curtains. Lots of people have ‘em.”
“It’s just that you never said anything about it before. And now suddenly you need curtains today?” Mikey’s hands wave and take the toast with them - Leo’s eyes track the movement. “You told me, if anything is-“
“Michelangelo,” says Splinter sternly, making everyone jump for the second time this morning. “That is your brother’s toast - give it to him.”
Mikey seems to remember the food in his hands at that exact moment. He grimaces, quickly depositing the toast onto Leo’s plate. Leo’s face has that sad, desperate quality to it again as he grabs the toast in his fingers, like he has to make sure no one else will take it.
Mikey backs away from the table, crestfallen. The silence that ensues is uncomfortable again.
“Uh… well I think the curtains will look great!” says Raph. “Snazzy!”
Snazzy? Oh Pizza Supreme in the Sky help him.
“…Thanks, Raph,” says Leo, and takes a bite of toast. It doesn’t have the same warmth from before, and the awkwardness is thick now.
Raph dries the dish he has in his hands and sets it on the counter, pops the drain plug, and quicksteps for the doorway.
“I’m going to do my morning training!” he calls, to convince everyone, especially himself, that he isn’t running away.
-----
Leo sits alone in his dad’s recliner, staring very hard at the opposite wall and willing himself not to barf.
The piddling amount of eggs and toast he ate at breakfast would not have been enough to fill him up even three weeks ago, but now it’s stuffed his shrunken stomach. The truth is, he’d been full when he bargained with Draxum for another piece of toast, but he hadn’t been willing to let the fight go.
Besides, he doesn’t know when he’ll get food next. And better to be overfull than hungry.
He’s being dramatic, of course. He’ll get food at lunch… probably. No, definitely, because he’s home and his family would never deny him food.
Except, the way Mikey had held his toast and demanded answers about the curtains…
Leo really thought he had gotten away with it, too. No one said anything until Donnie did, and Donnie had seemed completely convinced by Leo’s casual responses! But of course Mikey saw through him. Mikey’s as keen when it comes to people as Leo himself is, but where Leo uses that insight to manipulate and obfuscate, Mikey uses it to tear open, to expose.
Leo will have to watch out, next time. He can’t let half-thought through excuses stand between him and food.
Not that they’d actually keep food from him. Because they love him and they’re his family. He’s just being weird again.
Still…
His stomach gurgles uncomfortably, and Leo grips the arms of the chair. He really doesn’t want to throw up. Besides the mess he’ll make of the recliner, and the unpleasantness of the sensation, he doesn’t want to lose everything he ate earlier. He still doesn’t know when he’s going to eat again. If he loses it here, he’ll truly have nothing.
“Blue? Are you alright?”
He turns his head. Splinter is standing by the chair, looking up at him. It occurs to Leo he didn’t actually ask if he could sit here, and he starts to push himself up.
“I can get in a beanbag-”
“No no, it’s alright,” says his dad, hopping up onto the chair to join Leo. He does it so lightly the recliner barely jostles. “You’re alright, Blue. Just breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth.”
Leo does as he’s told, leaning his head back and closing his eyes. He wonders how his dad seems to know the problem without having to be told - from raising four children alone, most likely. After a moment, he feels the chair move, the back reclining and the footrest coming up under his legs. Then furry hands gently tug his blanket from around his shoulders and spread it out over his whole body.
“There we go,” says Splinter after that’s done. “Are you comfy, Blue?”
All Leo can do is give a tiny nod of his head; anything more aggravates the nausea. It seems Splinter understands, though, as he hums approvingly and hops off the chair.
“What’s wrong?” asks a new voice, and Leo grits his teeth. He doesn’t move from his spot, though.
“Blue just needs some rest,” says Splinter.
“He ate too much, didn’t he?” Draxum asks, tone irritated. “I told him not to have more unless he was actually hungry-”
“Stop,” Splinter commands, in that firm tone that can’t be argued with. “We will talk about this later.”
Leo wonders if he’s included in the we. But Draxum grumbles something under his breath and retreats, leaving Leo and his dad alone again.
“Don’t worry about him,” says Splinter, moving to turn on the projector. “I’ll deal with it. You just get some rest, Blue.”
He turns on one of his stories on low volume, then climbs back into the chair and settles in beside Leo. The soft whir of the projector, the quiet voices of the actors, and his dad’s breathing lull him into a doze. The nausea, eventually, passes.
-----
After his workout, Raph goes to check on everyone again. It’s becoming a routine.
Splinter’s loud snores lead Raph to him and Leo, both sound asleep in the recliner in the TV room. Raph would wonder how Leo can sleep through that, but he remembers that their dad’s snores used to be piped directly into his room in their old lair. If anything, this is probably nostalgic for him.
Draxum’s in the kitchen. Apparently they’re stuck with him for the weekend. Raph decides not to say anything to him and slips away before he’s noticed.
Now to find his other little brothers. He heads straight for the lab first, already knowing it’s where Donnie would be at this time of day, even if he hadn’t promised to make curtain rods for Leo.
He has to go through the same song and dance as the day before with the voice lock, but the door slides open soon enough, and Raph walks in on an argument. At least he won’t have to go searching for Mikey.
“-don’t understand why you’re so worked up about it,” Donnie is saying. He’s bent over his workbench, goggles pulled down, soldering iron in hand but not on. “It’s just curtains.”
“Because everyone’s acting like it’s not weird!” Mikey argues. He spins on his heel, looking at Raph beseechingly. “Raph, you agree with me, right!?”
“Raph just got here,” Raph says, folding his arms. “Mind filling me in on what we’re arguing about?” Even though he already has a good guess.
“We aren’t arguing,” says Donnie, at the same time Mikey snaps, “Leo, duh!” Donnie sighs, raising his goggles and turning around.
“Mikey is upset that I’m making Leo the curtain rods he asked for.”
“I’m not upset about the curtain rods! But you’re all acting like this is totally normal!”
“Curtains are normal!”
“Leo asking for the curtains is not normal,” Mikey presses. “What does he even need them for!? We live underground!”
“He complained about the light coming through the windows.”
“And he never thought to mention it once over the months we’ve been living here? Come on, Donald, use your brain!”
“Excuse you, I am always using my brain-”
“Leo’s got insomnia, Mikey,” Raph interjects. “Maybe a totally dark room helps him sleep better.”
“He had insomnia in the old lair, too,” Mikey retorts. “And he’s so tired right now all he does is sleep! He was sleeping in the TV room when I came in here!”
Raph doesn’t have a response for that. And the thing is, he thinks he has an idea why Leo wants to block out his windows, and it has nothing to do with his insomnia. But he doesn’t know how much to tell Mikey now. Not without bringing up the security footage.
Maybe Donnie has the same thought, because when Raph glances his way their eyes lock. 
Of course, Mikey notices. Because Mikey is just as observant as Leo, when it comes to people.
“You guys know something,” he says, looking between them.
“No,” says Donnie, too fast.
Mikey pouts at him. “Donald.”
“Leo hasn’t told us any more than he’s told anyone else,” says Raph.
“But you know something. How could you…” His eyes go wide. “The security footage. Donnie copied it all.”
“Well, I did,” Donnie agrees, “but-”
“You guys watched it, didn’t you?” Mikey asks, but it’s more like an accusation.
“No,” says Raph, and now he’s the one who says it too quickly.
Mikey squints at him, then looks back at Donnie, weak link that he is. “Donnie, did you watch that security tape?”
“I did…n’t,” he says, characteristically unconvincingly. Raph groans.
“I knew it!” Mikey lunges for Donnie’s computer, and it’s only Donnie’s battleshell arms that stop him from getting to the keyboard. “Let me see it too!”
“Mikey, stop!” says Raph, coming and putting a hand on his little brother’s shoulder. He winces when it’s shrugged off. “We’re not gonna watch the video.”
“Why not!?” Mikey demands, ripping himself out of Donnie’s metal arms and jumping back from both of them. “Why can’t I see it!? You both got to!” He looks between them with wild eyes, and then his face falls. “It’s because I’m the youngest, isn’t it?”
“No,” says Raph. “It’s because we both decided not to watch any more for Leo’s privacy.”
“For Leo’s privacy?” Mikey doesn’t look convinced. “Raph, he’s hurting! What if what’s on those videos can help?”
“What if watching them hurts him more?” Donnie defends. “He’ll find out we watched them, and then what?”
“He’d understand!”
“Would he?” Donnie sounds doubtful, and Raph can’t help but doubt it, too.
Even Mikey falters. He’s quiet a moment, wrapping his arms tight around his middle.
“...I don’t want him to suffer,” he says finally. “I want to help him.”
“We all wanna help him,” says Raph.
Mikey turns his eyes on Raph, and they’re full of fear and doubt and uncertainty. “You won’t even talk to him,” he says. It’s damning and cold and worst of all, true.
Raph takes a shaky breath, trying not to show his broken heart. ���Listen. All Raph’s saying is, it’s barely been three days since we got Leo back home. Let’s give him time. Hopefully he’ll open up about all this stuff on his own.”
“...Fine. I won’t watch the video,” says Mikey. But he steels his expression, defiant. “But I’m going to keep trying to help him.”
“Just don’t push him, Mikey-”
“I won’t! I know what I’m doing.” He gives them a smile, but it’s weak compared to his usual. “Trust me, guys. I’ve got Dr. Feelings on my side!”
He turns and leaves the lab, the door sliding shut with a reverberating shunk behind him. 
Donnie slumps in his chair. “At least it’s not Dr. Delicate Touch.”
Raph laughs at that. It’s about all he can do.
-----
They feed Leo lunch. Of course they do. He doesn’t know why he keeps thinking they might not.
Of course, Draxum is still there, looking over his shoulder like a warden to make sure Leo doesn’t eat so much as a bite more than he’s meant to. It makes the whole experience stressful, and Leo is ready to crash again as soon as it’s over.
(Is this all his life is now? Long periods bogged down in exhaustion, only broken by the reminder that food is always controlled by someone else.)
He hasn’t been dozing for long this time when a shout echoes through the lair, grabbing his attention.
“Hey guys!”
“April!” yells Mikey, springing up from the beanbag he was sitting in. He’d been there for a while now, looking intently at his phone, but Leo never asked. Probably a new game or something. “Come on in!”
She enters the living room, a bag with a familiar comic store logo hung over her arm. She gives Mikey a one-armed hug before making her way around the chair to hold the bag out to Leo.
“Here you go!” she trills. “I picked it up as soon as I got done with my homework.”
Leo takes it, baffled. He reaches into the bag, gripping something rather large and hard-covered; pulling it out reveals…
“…The Jupiter Jim Sixtieth Anniversary Comic Special!?” Leo cries out loud. He lays it in his lap, reverently brushing the cover with his fingers. “It came out!?”
“Uh, yeah, today.” April laughs. “Don’t you remember? You made me set, like, three different reminders.”
Leo stares at the comic book, feeling a strange sort of disconnect. He can remember when he thought about this comic coming out once a day, at least - he’d been counting down the days from the preorder. But… he actually hasn’t thought about it once since…
At some point, he stopped looking forward to the comic. Because he didn’t think he would be here to read it.
But he is here. He’s alive. Time is still moving forward, and the proof is his long-awaited comic book, finally in his hands.
(Maybe his life still has a few good things to look forward to.)
Leo may be tired of crying, but crying isn’t tired of him - the tears come on hot and fast as he processes all of it at once. The grief at what was almost lost and the impossible relief that it wasn’t.
He rubs furiously at his eyes and sniffs aggressively. Then he looks up at April with the best smile he can manage and holds out his arms.
“Thanks, April.”
“Of course!” She beams, not commenting on the tears, and gives him a hug that is tight and warm and everything he wants. “Now you don’t have to keep texting me about it.”
Leo laughs as he lets go. It’s still a little watery, but she doesn’t comment. “Well what are we waiting for? Wanna read it together?”
“Uh, duh!” April shoves him to the side without any force and settles in next to him on the chair. “I heard they brought back all the old comics characters for this!”
Leo nods excitedly, eyes rising to meet Mikey’s. “How about you, Mikester? We can do the voices!”
Even though he knows his voice won’t hold out for more than a few pages.
“Oh yeah!” says Mikey. “Just let me-”
He looks down at his phone, and Leo catches it as his expression changes - something on the screen taking his attention and causing him to furrow his brow.
“Aaactually,” he says, looking back up with a forced smile. “I have… something I have to do. Somewhere else! But you guys have fun!”
And then he disappears down the escalator toward their train cars.
Leo watches him go, then turns back to look at April. She’s craned her neck to watch, too, a worried pinch to her eyebrows behind her glasses.
It clears up when she catches Leo looking. “Welp. Guess it’s just you and me, then!”
Leo rubs his fingers over the cover again. His desire to read it disappeared with Mikey. Donnie’s busy, Raph’s avoiding him, and now Mikey has more important things to do.
At least April is here. He worms himself a little more solidly against her warmth and hopes he doesn’t drive her away, too.
“Let’s do something else for now,” he says. “Save this bad boy for when we can all read it together.”
April’s eyes go wide. “You sure? I don’t think the guys would mind…”
“Uh, no, Donnie would definitely kill me if I read anything with Atomic Lass before him.” Leo gently sets the comic aside. “Besides, how are we gonna do the voices with just two of us?”
“What, you’re saying I can’t handle it?” April asks, a challenge in her voice. “I bet I could do a one-woman show.”
“Oh, I’d love to see that!” Leo laughs, and it’s only because April is here that it’s genuine and not forced. “But I don’t think I could stay awake for the whole thing, anyway.”
“Well… fine.” April relents. “Anything you wanna do instead?”
“Mmm…” He hands her the remote. “It’s been awhile since we judged people on Say Yes to the Dress.”
“Ooo, you are so right!” April flips on the projector and starts loading up the episodes. “Hold on, let me find where we left off.”
Soon, the sounds of over-dramatic reality TV fill the room. Leo shifts until his head is tucked under April’s chin, and she scratches her fingernails over his shell as they watch. They give their opinions on the dresses and jeer the catty friends and family members.
It feels so normal. The most normal Leo’s felt since he woke up in a room that was nothing but white.
It proves to him that things can be normal.
(But still, in the back of his mind, he wonders when his next meal will be.)
-----
Raph isn’t sure how many more tense dinners his family can survive.
They’re eating beef stew, partly so Leo doesn’t feel like the odd one out with his soup. Except he’s still the odd one out, because they have big chunks of beef and veggies while he has mostly broth with easy to swallow carrots, and some more egg for protein.
Raph hates eating in front of him. It feels like rubbing it in. But would taking their food and leaving him to eat alone be any better?
Probably not, because Draxum would still be watching him. And that’s the biggest source of tension.
Draxum is sitting at the table like the rest of them, but he might as well be looming over Leo’s shoulder. Leo himself stays hunched over his bowl of soup like he thinks it’s going to be snatched away at any moment, eating with quick, furtive movements, his eyes darting to Draxum each time.
It’s the exact opposite of his measured eating from this morning, and even more unsettling.
April is here, thank the Pizza Supreme, and she’s trying to keep the conversation going so they don’t all dwell on the bad vibes from Leo’s direction. Only Splinter is biting, though. Raph tries, of course, but…
He’d take fighting a villain a million times over this.
“Oh yeah, Donnie, Leo said you and Splints are making him curtains for his train car,” says April, grabbing Raph’s attention. “How’s that going?”
Across the table, Mikey’s expression turns conflicted. He focuses his eyes on his food and doesn’t catch Raph watching.
“Oh, it’s going well,” says Donnie, “but I didn’t have enough spare metal to finish. I’ll go to the scrapyard tomorrow and see what I can scrounge up.”
“Hmm… I do not like the idea of you going alone,” says Splinter hesitantly. “We do not know if those people will come back.”
No one has to ask what people he’s referring to. Still, Donnie looks irritated.
“Papa, it’s just the scrapyard,” he argues. “I’ll be back before it’s dark.”
“Still…”
“I’ll go with him!” says Mikey suddenly, raising his hand to volunteer. “Then he won’t be alone. Buddy system!” He slaps his raised hand down on Donnie’s shoulder. 
“Ow,” says Donnie in a flat tone, reaching up and shoving him off. “Despite the unnecessary assault on my person, I’m amenable to Micheal accompanying me.”
“What’s “amenable”?” Leo asks in a stage whisper. 
(It’s the most like himself he’s sounded all day.)
“I think it’s what you say at the end of a prayer,” Mikey stage whispers back.
(Raph can help his smile. He hides it behind his napkin.)
“It means I’m fine with it,” Donnie snaps. “None of you read my Word of the Day texts, do you?”
“Only ‘cause it’s words no one uses,” Leo scoffs. “Seriously, who even uses words like “sanctimonious”?”
“Lots of people!”
“Lots of nerds?”
Donnie glares at him. “You are so lucky we’re having a nice dinner right now, Nardo.”
Leo snorts and refocuses on his soup. He has a big, cocky grin on his face, and it’s all so normal that Raph feels something unknot in his chest. Maybe, Leo really is starting to get better. 
And then Splinter says, “I also need to go out tomorrow… It’s been so long since we got groceries, I couldn’t even eat my usual microwave burrito for lunch!”
And just like that, the normalcy is ripped away again.
Leo’s eyes snap up, locking on their dad, unblinking. His knobbly fingers press tighter around his bowl, pulling it closer to him like he’s scared someone will snatch it away.
“We’re running out of food?”
He sounds so scared that Raph can’t stop himself before he’s reaching over. Just to put his hand on Leo’s shoulder, to give him a hug, if he wants. Anything he needs to calm down, to not look so terrified.
But Leo must misread the action, because he jerks away, gripping the bowl impossibly tighter, eyes blown out wide and a just noticeable tremble in his shoulders. Like he’s scared of Raph.
Raph pulls his hand back without making contact and hunches in his chair, as far away as he can get from Leo without leaving the table. Or maybe he should just get up and leave. How can he be around his little brother when he’s scared of him like this?
“Ah, no,” says Splinter, and this has finally broken his easy-going tone. “There is still plenty of food, Blue, don’t worry.”
“…Hah. Right. Of course there is,” says Leo.
His voice is high and reedy, his face twitching like it’s trying to force itself back into the big smile from earlier but just doesn’t know how to move its muscles. “Why wouldn’t there be?”
Splinter reaches out hesitantly and gives Leo a pat on the arm. Leo flinches, his grip on his bowl still tight, and Splinter retreats again.
“Hey, Pops,” says Raph, drawing attention off Leo. “I can go with you tomorrow.” 
They can get more food with more hands.
“Oh, thank you, Red,” says Splinter, relieved. “That will make things much easier to carry.”
“Sure,” says Raph. Then he upends the rest of his stew into his mouth and swallows it all as fast as he can before standing up.
“Welp, I’m done with dinner so I’m going to get a workout in before bed night everyone!”
And then he’s out of there. Running away from the haunted shell of Leo.
He doesn’t know what to do with a little brother who ducks away from his hands. He doesn’t know what to do with a little brother who covers windows and hides from his eyes. He doesn’t know what to do with a little brother who looks up at him and says, “That’s not what a hero would do.”
Raph is a big guy and he’s never been good with fragile things. So maybe the best thing he can do for now is stay back and let those with deft hands take the lead.
Even if it’s not what he wants.
What he really wants to do is go back to that facility. Find the men that did this to Leo. And then…
Raph lines up his punching bag and swings. Over and over and over, until his fingers sting.
-----
They’re leaving him here. They’re leaving him alone.
Alone with Draxum. 
Leo wants to protest. He wants to beg them to stay. He wants them to not want to leave him to begin with.
But Splinter said they haven’t gotten groceries in awhile. And even if he claims they aren’t running out of food, Leo is terrified of what happens if they do.
So he doesn’t ask his dad to stay. He keeps his mouth shut, focus on his bowl of soup, depressingly empty next to everyone else’s.
But Donnie… Donnie doesn’t have to go to the scrapyard tomorrow, right?
Yeah… Leo can survive the lack of curtains for another day. He slept just fine with his makeshift window blockers last night, after all. He appreciates that Donnie wants to get it done quickly, but there’s no need.
“Hey, Dee,” he says, looking up, and realizing too late that he just interrupted something April was saying. Everyone goes quiet, anyway, and he feels the suffocating weight of everyone’s eyes on him.
His mouth goes dry.
“Yes, Leo?” Donnie prompts when he doesn’t say anything. He looks confused, and concerned. They all do. Because it’s super weird for Leo to say something and then fall silent. Just like it would be weird for him to beg Donnie to stay because he’s afraid of being alone with Draxum.
“Just, uh… excited to see the curtain rods,” he says, pivoting to a neutral topic. Maybe no one noticed. Maybe he was quick enough.
Donnie’s face lights up the way it does when anyone wants to see his handiwork, which is good. Leo likes making his brothers happy. Pizza Supreme knows he hasn’t been good at it lately.
“Of course!” he says, practically bouncing in his seat. “I’ll show you after dinner!”
“Can’t wait.”
Conversation moves on. Leo finishes his soup.
“Are you still hungry?” Draxum asks, making him jump. “Do not lie to me, this time.”
“Draxum,” says Splinter in a warning tone. But that’s all he does. He doesn’t offer Leo more food. He doesn’t argue that Leo wouldn’t lie.
They haven’t been grocery shopping in awhile.
“…No,” Leo says, twisting his napkin in his hand. “I’m full.”
-----
“I focused on the windows directly around your bed to begin,” Donnie says as he leads Leo into his train car, a bounce in his step as he pushes past the curtain. “To help you get a good night’s sleep. And Dad already hung what curtains he had finished, so you can even see the final result!”
Leo steps into the middle of the room and looks around. The curtain rods are simpler than he expected, simple things fastened to the wall, able to be unlatched so the rods can be removed and the curtains swapped out. Every windows’ brackets are slightly different, a testament to the scraps Donnie used to make them, but Leo likes that - this hodge-podge, improvised way of home decor has always been their style. It has a charm you can’t get in a normal house.
Donnie has also painted the rods a gunmetal blue, and some of the brackets have Ls etched into the metal. It’s little details like that that leave Leo touched.
The curtains themselves are just black fabric, sewn so they can loop over the rods and be pulled aside when desired. It’s simple and quick, but they represent hours his dad spent today at a sewing machine, just to help him sleep.
Leo feels himself getting a little teary again, and he quickly blinks it back. He doesn’t feel like crying today.
“It’s so cool, Dee,” he says, and his voice is genuine; he catches Donnie flap his hands in a pleased way out of the corner of his eye. “Thanks. This will really help a lot.”
“Oh, I’m so glad you like them!” Donnie is all smiles, and it makes Leo smile, too. “I wanted to make them more elaborate, but I thought time was of the essence. I would have been done today, if I hadn’t run out of materials.”
“No way, man, you got a lot more done today than I thought you would.” Then again, Donnie always has been quick, even more so since he got his powers, so Leo shouldn’t be so surprised. “What else could you even do to them? Add AI?”
“Oho, don’t tempt me.” Donnie reaches up and taps one of the brackets with a nail, making a soft ping. “Then you could open or close all the curtains with voice command!”
“Thanks for the offer, but I’m good using my hands.” He spins to take the room in one more time, then claps his arm around Donnie’s shoulders.
(The pang when his arm hits the metal shell is more jarring than it used to be.)
“Seriously, hermano. Thanks.”
Donnie doesn’t pull away quite as quickly as he used to. “Well. Save any more thanks until I finish with the project. Which should be soon, after my scrapyard run tomorrow!”
Right. The scrapyard. This is when Leo should bring it up. This is the perfect time.
He can just ask Donnie to stay. To put it off one more day, work on something else. Here, in his room, just the two of them, he doesn’t think Donnie would refuse him. He doesn’t think Donnie would make fun of him. He doesn’t think Donnie would call him weird.
“Actually, uh…”
He remembers Donnie taking his cracker and eating it.
“Hm?” Donnie turns out of his arm and looks at Leo, confused. “What’s wrong?”
He remembers Donnie’s reaction to the chewed up bottle cap.
“Leo?”
“Nothing,” he says quickly, rubbing the back of his head. “Just… be careful, okay? We don’t know if those EPF guys have come back.”
Donnie’s face drops into a more serious expression. “Right. Don’t worry - I’ve taken precautions.”
“What precautions?”
“I’ve updated the software on all our trackers. If they leave the city limits, or if a third party attempts to interfere with the signal, they’ll immediately send an alert to everyone’s phones.”
“You don’t think that’s a little… excessive?”
Donnie folds his arms over his chest. “Not if it keeps everyone safe.”
Leo doesn’t know how to argue with that.
“I am working on a way that we can each override it, though,” Donnie adds. “We wouldn’t want to scare each other if we leave the area on purpose. And I have plans for even more enhancements that can-”
“Eugh boy.” Leo motions Donnie toward the door. “I’m way too tired for speech mode, Dee. Maybe later?”
Donnie scowls. “Exasperated sigh. There is never a “later” with you.”
Leo laughs. “You got me!”
“You could really stand to pay attention and learn something… But, alright.” Donnie steps toward the curtain. “I will let you get away with it this time, only because you’re still recovering.”
“Is that a threat?”
“Yes.” But Donnie gives him a grin on the way out. “Goodnight, Nardo.”
“Night, nerd!”
As soon as Donnie’s gone, Leo sinks onto his bed and puts his head in his hands.
He couldn’t ask Donnie to stay. He couldn’t, because it would be weird and strange and bad. And now he’s going to be left alone with Draxum.
Will Draxum even let him eat? What if he decides Leo’s had enough…?
It’s a stupid thought. Of course Draxum will let him eat. Otherwise, Leo’s family would… do something!
Right?
He thinks about Donnie taking the cracker again. His pulse quickens.
He can’t go without food again. He can’t. He doesn’t think he would be able to take it.
But if no one else is going to give him food, then… then…
Leo takes a deep breath and steels his resolve. He knows what he needs to do.
He grabs the curtain on the nearest window and pulls it over, just a crack - just enough to see the lights outside, to see when they dim as the rest of his family goes to bed for the night.
And he waits.
-----
By the time Raph finally leaves the dojo, it’s dark in the lair, with only some safety lighting and a few neon signs still on. He can hear his dad snoring from the TV room, the projection flickering on the end card of a show, and as he passes their extra train car he sees Draxum inside, working on something under a desk lamp. Mikey and Leo are both in their rooms, from what he can tell, and Donnie must be in his lab.
He’ll go on his rounds in a bit; first, he beelines for the kitchen for water and a nighttime snack.
He’s quiet as he walks up the escalator, knowing exactly which steps creak and squeal and carefully avoiding them. He doesn’t want a conversation right now; not with his wrapped knuckles and sweat-soaked mask dangling from his fingers.
The kitchen’s dark when he arrives, and he fumbles around for the switch, missing it a few times. It’s so different from the layout of the old lair, and he’s not usually the first one in the kitchen in the morning.
He finally flips on the light, and finds he isn’t the first one in the kitchen tonight, either.
Leo stands frozen by the counter, eyes wide and panicked when they meet Raph’s. In his hands he’s clutching a half-full bag of chips, sour cream and onion, the plastic crinkling and snapping where he grips it tight. He looks like a terrified, wild animal, drowning in one of his own hoodies and stancing up like he’s ready to bolt. Like he’s doing something wrong, getting a snack in his own house.
Except… he kind of is doing something wrong. And that’s what breaks Raph’s heart.
But what is Raph supposed to do here? Tell Leo he can’t eat that, the same as his captors did? Try to explain to him why he can’t have it, when Raph barely understands the reasons himself? Rip the bag from his weak hands, and prove to Leo once and for all that his family can’t be trusted?
Raph is supposed to be the biggest brother. The one who always knows exactly what to do, exactly how to help, who protects his three little knuckleheads from a world that wants to hurt them.
But he doesn’t know what to do about this. It’s just not in his playbook.
He’s never been good with fragile things.
Raph reaches over and flips off the kitchen light. He goes back to the escalator, and dodges the squeaky steps. He goes to his train car, and pulls the curtain over the doorway.
He pretends he didn’t see.
-----
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 Part A (here) | Part 4 Part B (not out yet)
484 notes · View notes
wraithlafitte · 10 months ago
Text
bitchin'
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pairing: dean winchester x reader
CONTENT: violence (hunting), SMUT, only one bed~ enemies to lovers (kinda), unprotected p in v (encase before you embrace), hate sex, Dean calls reader "princess" mockingly, manhandling, slapping, spanking, big dick!Dean has all the audacity, dirty talk, degradation, choking, cum eating, brat taming, edging, overstimulation, squirting
word count: 4.7k
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To say you were unhappy to be working with Dean Winchester would be putting it lightly. A massive understatement, in fact. But, as luck would have it, you needed backup on a vamp case; and when you called Bobby Singer for help, it turned out that Dean was the only hunter nearby.
Your jaw set uncomfortably as you dialed his number and held the phone to your ear. Asking for help from anyone was hard, but from this man? Practically your mortal enemy? A feeling of shame, or maybe embarrassment, crept into your stomach as you listened to the phone ring.
He's probably just watching it ring, you thought cynically. Who's to say he would pick up at all? Maybe he won't, you hoped.
There was a laundry list of reasons why Dean was the last person you'd want to work with on a case. He was reckless, had no respect for plans, and tended to go in guns blazing without regard for his own life, which meant that you would constantly be saving his ass. And boy, was he a pain in yours.
The cherry on top of the Dean Winchester disaster cake was that he hated your guts. You never really figured out why, but you assumed it was his misogynistic tendency to be completely contrary to any woman he met who didn't fall all over him. God forbid a woman doesn't care about his rugged good looks or roguish bravery!
When he finally picked up, you could practically hear the smirk in his voice, dripping with self-righteousness. "Well, well. What do you want?"
You decided it would be best to cut to the chase and just get it over with. "I'm working a case in Nevada," you said calmly. He would not get you riled up. "Vegas. There's a vamp nest, been snatching homeless people. Tunnel dwellers," you added. "Not that it matters. People are people, vamps are vamps."
"What are you tellin' me for?" Dean asked gruffly. He was gonna make you say it. Of fucking course he was, because he just had to hold it over your head.
"Need backup," you said curtly. "There's at least five of them."
"So what you're sayin' is...." The smugness in his voice was unmistakeable.
"I need your help, you dick."
"Oh do you now."
You huffed, already fed up with him. "Bobby says you're the only hunter he knows nearby. Said you're in Flagstaff."
"Maybe I am," he said vaguely. "Bobby should know not to tell you anything about where I am or recommend me as reinforcements for you."
"He didn't want to, but I made him. Are you coming or not?" you said sharply.
I'll be there by nightfall. Don't wait up," he said teasingly and hung up, leaving you to listen to the tone, steaming.
Why does he have to make everything so difficult?
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Rough pounding on the door of your motel room startled you up from your chair at midnight. Dean wasn't even in the room yet, and he was already tormenting you. You went to the door and jerked it open, pinching the bridge of your nose. You could feel the headache coming on.
"Honey, I'm home," Dean said wickedly. He pushed past you into the room, dropping his duffel bags in the middle of the floor. He dropped into the chair you had just vacated and looked up at you with a shit-eating grin.
"Don't make this any harder than it has to be," you warned him, eyes narrowing.
"Hey, I'm just excited to kill some vamps," he said, jabbing a finger towards you.
"Give it up. We both know you would rather be anywhere else."
"True," he conceded. "But let me just bask in the moment real quick."
You roll your eyes and return to your task, packing up your stuff. "Don't get too comfortable. We can't stay here. I was followed earlier."
"Perfect," Dean said sarcastically. "Of course you were."
You turn on him. "It can happen to anyone."
"Sure," he mocked. "So what's the plan, genius?"
Your face hardened. "We take the fight to them."
"Say no more."
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The vampire's nest was in an abandoned warehouse (real original) that was a few streets away from one of the tunnels that the homeless had set up camp in. Chain link fence, corrugated metal, broken windows, the whole deal. And of course Dean wouldn't wait to make a game plan, sliding open a side door like nothing bad was waiting to jump him. In a vampire nest. At night.
All you could do was follow him, machete at the ready, and hope that the scuffing of his boots on the concrete floor wouldn't alert any vampires to your presence.
Dean ducked down, holding a fist in the air. You hurried behind him and crouched behind a shelf just in time to miss a patrolling vampire rounding the corner. Without missing a beat, Dean jumped out behind it and chopped it at the neck soundlessly. The body fell to the floor. As much as you hated to admit it, he was good.
You crept in the direction the fang had come from, Dean hot on your heels. He was so close you could hear his leather jacket creaking, smell his cologne, feel him practically breathing down your neck. You shot him a glare over your shoulder, then suddenly you hear voices. You stopped abruptly in your tracks, causing Dean to bump into you. You elbowed him and gave him a look.
Peeking around the doorframe, you saw what appeared to be the vamps' main hangout room. And there were a lot more than five of them, lounging around the walls, circling victims that were hung by their wrists from a beam.
"We can take them," Dean whispered in your ear.
You looked at him in disbelief. "Are you kidding me?" you hissed back. You tried to count the dark shapes in the next room. "There's at least ten in there. There's only two of us."
"We can do it." Without waiting for a reply, Dean busted down the door and started swinging. You had no choice but to follow as the vampires started coming out of their startled stupor and attacking.
Dean cut down two of them easily, their heads rolling on the floor before they knew what hit them. The rest, however, had time to react.
One of the vampires rushed you, just managing to avoid your blade as you swung it. She snarled and leapt towards you. You slashed her across the chest and she howled, clutching her shirt. You took the opportunity and decapitated her.
Someone grabbed you from behind, claw-like nails scratching your neck as it was forced to the side, baring your skin. You stabbed behind you, blade finding purchase, and used the distraction to cut off the fang's head.
Another vamp rushed you from the front. You swung your blade out in defense, but he just grabbed it and ripped it from your hand. Then, as if they could smell your defenselessness, you were suddenly swarmed, vampires clawing at your skin, your clothes, pulling your hair. Several hard punches landed to your gut and your face and the wind was knocked out of you as you fell to the floor, smacking the side of your head into the concrete. You yelped in pain and shock.
A boot pressed into the side of your neck and your vision was suddenly obscured by a heavy-set vampire bearing down on you, grinning. "Not so tough now without your little sword," he sneered, fangs descending. His mouth was smeared with blood and you could smell the tang of iron on his breath. You struggled to breathe as the pressure on your neck increased, your vision getting spotty.
Great, this is how I die....
As if in the distance, you heard Dean shout. The looming face of the vamp was promptly detached from its body, hitting the floor by your head. His body fell on top of yours, his gross bloody neck stump right in your view. The boot left your neck and charged in the direction of Dean's voice.
You struggled to free yourself from beneath the former vamp, ears ringing from your near-suffocation. You could hear the ensuing scuffle, all grunts and wet slices and heavy footfalls, but you had no idea who was winning.
Then, it was silent.
You held your breath instinctively, listening to a lone pair of footsteps approaching you. You found yourself realizing for the first time that you hoped Dean was coming. Better than the alternative.
Sure enough, Dean's hunt-beaten face appeared above you, screwed up with effort as he pushed the large vamp's body off of you. You sat up quickly, surveying the carnage, slapping away the extended helping hand. The shock of your near death experience wore off quickly, but the adrenaline from the fight did not, so your energy turned towards Dean.
"What the fuck, Dean?" you yelled, rising to your feet, wincing from the pain in your sides.
"What do you mean what the fuck?" he returned angrily. "I just saved your goddamn life!"
"After you endangered it!" you shoved him, scowling furiously. "Ten to two are not good odds! We could have fucking died! I almost did!"
"Hazards of the job, sweetheart!"
"There's hazards, and then there's suicide," you replied, fuming.
Dean rolled his eyes. "Don't have to thank me."
"I won't." You shoved him out of your way and made for the door. "Don't you ever fucking do that again."
"Not so fast, princess," Dean called after you. "Hunt's not over."
You froze in your tracks. "What."
"I didn't get all of 'em." You whirled around to face Dean, who was looking uncharacteristically sheepish.
Your voice was dangerously quiet. "What do you mean you didn't get all of them?"
He made an attempt at a self-confident grin. "They saw me ganking their buddies like nobody's business, turned tail and ran. I was more concerned about saving your life than to chase."
You smirked tauntingly. "Oh, you cared about my life?"
Dean just shrugged. "Couldn't just leave you there."
"Whatever." You started walking to the entrance again. "Since you let some get away, I say we get a night's sleep. They'll probably be expecting us to come after them, so they won't hunt again tonight. We can pick up the trail in the morning."
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"What do you mean you only have one room left?" Dean asked angrily, slamming his hands down on the motel counter.
The clerk looked at him blankly. "Just what I said."
You were at the cheapest motel you could find in the city that was built on tourism. You and Dean were both short on cash, so it seemed like the best option. It was this or take shelter with the junkies in the tunnels.
"I'm not spending the night in the same room as her!"
You hit his shoulder. "Hey!"
"Like you don't feel the same," Dean said exasperatedly, digging out his wallet. "Next cheapest is still too expensive. I'm basically broke," he whined, rifling through his meager collection of bills.
"What happened to all your credit cards, Mr. Fraud?" you sneered.
Dean glared at you. You glared back. After a few moments, the clerk cleared his throat.
"So, do you want the room or not?"
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You dropped your bags just inside the door of the room. "You're fucking kidding me."
Dean pushed past you. "What- oh. Oh my goddd." He ran his hand down his face tiredly.
Staring you in the face was the decidedly lumpy surface of a double bed. One. That fucking clerk could've warned you.
You and Dean slowly looked at each other, then you made a mad dash to claim the bed, shoving each other out of the way, kicking, tackling, until you both lay tangled on the floor, still not in the bed. You had his arm pinned behind his back, but he was pinning you to the floor with his weight.
You jerked on his arm, panting, and he grunted painfully, digging his knee into your side.
"Say.. uncle," you gritted out.
"You first!" Dean rasped.
"No!"
You laid there for a few more seconds, then, almost as if it was painful, Dean asked, "Should we- call it a draw?"
You rolled your eyes and released him. He rolled off of you, getting to his feet. He didn't help you up, of course.
"I'm not sleeping on the floor," he said spitefully.
"Well, neither am I." Your eyes narrowed.
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You laid on the bed stiffly, positioned all the way at the edge of the mattress, as far away from Dean as possible. He was doing the same, and the blanket was pulled taut between you as you wordlessly battled over it.
You were steaming. You should have known that everything would go to shit if you called on him. He completely ruined what should have been a one-hour job, endangering your life and letting a few vamps go. He did, technically, save your life though. You were grateful, but you wouldn't tell him that in a million years.
Adrenaline from the hunt and your constant fighting with Dean coursed through your veins, keeping every sense on high alert. Every tug of the sheets from Dean lit a fire under your skin. His weight behind you on the bed filled you with a painful awareness of how touch-starved you truly were. As much as you tried to suppress it, tension began building in your core.
You shifted uncomfortably, squeezing your thighs together. "Ugh," you let out before you could stop yourself.
"Shut up," Dean grumbled through the darkness.
The sound of his voice, rough with tiredness, intensified how extremely horny you felt. You felt your underwear getting damp in spite of your hate for the man.
"God dammit," you said frustratedly, sitting up and swinging your legs over the side of the bed.
"What?" Dean said, throwing the covers back and sitting up too. "Why can't you just let me fucking sleep?"
"Nothing," you snapped, taking a swig from your water bottle. Hydrating would calm you down, surely.
"Yeah, right," he snapped back. "What the fuck is wrong?"
"I'm really fucking horny, Christ!" you blurt, whirling on him.
"If I fuck you, will you stop bitchin'?" Dean demanded, fire and a deadly seriousness in his eyes.
You opened and closed your mouth, stunned.
He just smirked at you. "Is that what it takes to shut you up?"
You stared at him. "Are you serious?"
"You want me so bad, huh." He moved across the bed and settled right behind you, his face in your neck, inches away from your own.
"Shut up," you say, flustered, still trying to keep some semblance of control. But you couldn't deny the arousal pooling in your gut.
"Say the word," Dean said smoothly, breath fanning over your exposed shoulder.
"Fuck," you whispered, cursing what you're about to do. You turned your head and smashed your lips to his.
Dean responded immediately, pulling you backwards and into his lap. He bit at your lips, forcing his tongue inside your mouth. You made an indignant sound, battling him for dominance, teeth clashing in a messy display of pure desire.
Your lips only parted to rip off each other's shirts. You dug your fingernails into Dean's bare shoulders as hard as you could, trying to elicit some kind of reaction from him, which came in the form of a deep groan into your mouth. He broke away, panting, and flung you onto your back on the mattress.
Leering down at you, he placed himself between your legs. "That's how you wanna play, huh princess?"
He yanked your leg up by the knee and slapped the back of your thigh. An involuntary moan escaped your mouth, and Dean chuckled darkly. "Oh, this is gonna be fun."
"Just shut up and fuck me," you whined, hitting his side with your foot.
"Ah-ah," he tutted. "Bad girls don't get what they want."
You sat up and came nose to nose with him. "If you think for one second that I am going to sit here and play submissive for you-"
Dean laced his fingers through the back of your hair and sharply tugged your head back. You moaned in response. A smile slowly grew over his face and he let go abruptly and shoved you back down. Your back barely hit the mattress before he was yanking off your sleep shorts and underwear in one go, tossing them to the far reaches of the room. You gasped as the cool air from the room hit your core, driving home the fact that you were now completely exposed to him.
"Aw, already so wet for me," Dean jeered, running a finger up your slit roughly. You flinched away from the sudden contact, heat spreading to your face.
"Don't flatter yourself," you gasped as he shoved a finger inside you, curling it vigorously, relishing the wet sounds your pussy produced.
Dean palmed himself through his pajama pants, groaning. He closed his eyes briefly, and when he opened them again, he added a second finger inside you, scissoring you open. At least he has the decency to prepare me, you thought.
He yanked his fingers out of you, giving your pussy a quick slap, and you whined at the sudden empty feeling.
"Don't whine," Dean said roughly, getting off the bed and kicking off his pants and boxers. You looked down, unable to help yourself.
You saw where he got all his confidence from. He was big. You practically quivered with anticipation. You loved a good stretch, and you liked it rough, and this was about to be both.
"Like what you see?" Dean mocked, shaking his cock.
"Looks like maybe your confidence isn't completely unwarranted," you admitted dryly. You could feel your combative spirit giving way to lust, but you weren't giving up that easily.
He winked, grabbed your ankles and jerked you to the edge of the bed, your thighs around his waist, your hair fanned out on the blanket behind your head. Dean took hold of your calves and pressed your knees up by your face, leaning over you and pinning you down with his weight again. Only this time, it was way hotter.
"Gonna be good for me?" he asked, voice dripping with mock sweetness.
"In your fucking dreams," you spat.
In one fluid motion, he backed off of you, grabbed you by the waist, and spun you onto your stomach. You squeaked as a heavy hand landed on your ass, much harder than he hit before.
You used your feet, barely touching the floor, to push yourself back towards him, hoping he would get the point and just fuck you already without you having to ask him again.
"So fucking needy," he murmured in your ear. "Use your words, princess."
"Fuck you," you moaned, feeling his cock jerk against your leg.
"Mmm, that's not right," Dean warned, fingers digging into your hips.
You grit your teeth. "Fuck me."
Dean splayed his fingers over your ass cheeks, spreading you open for him, and thrust into you roughly, filling you in one go.
You gasped, feeling his cock throb inside you as your pussy complained against the intrusion and desperately tried to adjust to his size. He groaned as you clenched around him, pulling out slowly and slamming back in.
"Dean," you gasped out. "Don't be such a fucking tease."
"I'll do whatever the fuck I want, princess," Dean growled, his thrusts becoming faster. "You asked for this."
"Technically- you offered," you corrected, eyes screwing shut at the pleasure building inside you with each thrust.
"God, shut- up," Dean griped, punctuating his words with a deep thrust that hit just right, eliciting an embarrassingly loud moan from you.
He just grunted, hips colliding against you, now just chasing his own high. You pressed your face into the bed, clutching the blanket with both fists, fortifying yourself against Dean's relentless pace. His fingers pressed deeply into your hips, carving out a place for him, letting you know you wouldn't be coming away from this encounter unbruised.
"God, you're so fucking tight," Dean rasped, slapping your ass. You moaned in response, unable to think of a witty retort. "Bet it's been a long time since you were fucked, huh?"
When you didn't reply, he slapped your ass again, on the other side, sending fireworks through your core.
"Bet that's why you're so desperate for me," he groaned. "Haven't gotten laid in a while. Bet that's why you're such a bitch, too," he added snarkily.
"Oh, fuck off," you mumbled into the mattress.
Dean pulled out, much to your chagrin, turning you onto your back again. "If you want," he said, eyes glimmering with mischief.
You pouted and whined, hooking your feet around his waist and trying to pull him back. You were rewarded with a sharp slap to your pussy. You cried out from the stimulation.
"Don't whine," he growled, pushing into you again on the last word.
"Sorry," you whispered in spite of yourself, gripping onto his arms as he cages you in with his body.
"What was that?" Dean said, grinning wickedly and thrusting into you sharply.
"Fuck-" you moaned instead, refusing to cooperate.
He wraps his hand around your throat loosely, putting slight pressure just under your jaw. Your eyes widened as he slowly increased the pressure, jeering down at you, still slamming into you at an incredible pace. Your body started to become overwhelmed with all the sensory input and your core tightened.
You knew Dean felt it, because he grimaced. "Gonna come, you little slut?" he taunted, reaching down with his free hand to rub harshly at your clit. A low whine released from the back of your throat.
His grip tightened around your neck to see your reaction. You gasped, straining to get a full breath in, your pussy clenching hard around his cock.
"Such a fucking slut that you're gonna come from being choked out," Dean said through gritted teeth, his thrusts becoming sloppy.
"Fuck- Dean," you choked out, both hands wrapped around his wrist. He eased up on the pressure some (he didn't want to kill you) and your hands moved desperately up his arm, gripping him tightly.
Dean was getting close, you could tell, but the question remained: would he come before you? And if he did, would he still take care of you? Somehow you doubted it. The self-absorbed jackass was probably going to cum inside you and fall asleep, like almost every other man you'd slept with.
Suddenly Dean lurched forward, shoving his face into the space between your neck and shoulder, breathing heavily in your ear. You clenched in surprise (and also because a man getting desperate was one of the hottest things on the planet).
Dean groaned deeply in response and bit down on your shoulder, hard. You cried out, half from pain and half from the surprising pleasure it sent roaring through you, causing your cunt to squeeze down on him tightly. He practically whimpered, detaching from your skin and pulling out, pumping himself a few times before spilling onto your stomach with a moan.
He looked down at the mess he'd made of you, dragging his fingers through his cum. Then he brought those fingers up to your mouth and pressed them against your lips. "Open."
You scowled at him, once again determined to be contrary.
Dean glared back. "Open, or you don't get to come," he said harshly, forcing his fingers between your lips and teeth.
So he was planning to take care of you. Your neediness returned in full force, and you opened your mouth to allow him to shove his fingers deep into your mouth. You gagged as his fingertips hit the back of your throat, the taste of his cum filling your mouth. He pressed down on your tongue and you dutifully sucked on his fingers as he smirked down at the sight.
"Good little slut," Dean said nastily, obviously feeling proud of himself. He started to pull his fingers out and you closed your teeth, scraping his skin as he did. He slapped your cheek lazily once his hand was free. "Swallow it."
You glared, but did as you were told, sticking out your tongue to prove it.
Dean grinned. "Ready for your reward, princess?"
You moaned needily, throwing your head back and bucking your hips up towards him.
"Such a fucking whore," he chastised, bringing his hand to your clit and stroking around it lazily. A pang of arousal shot through you as you quickly approached the edge again. All thoughts of defiance went out the window as you grinded against his hand.
"Please," you whimpered, squirming under his touch.
"Since you asked so nicely," Dean mocked. He stuffed your pussy with three fingers at once, thrusting and curling them inside you. "Fuckin' dripping, princess."
He brought his other hand to your clit, thumbing it in figure eights in time with his fingers. You gasped as your core tightened. His fingers were bringing you so close to the brink and just keeping you there, never increasing the pressure just enough to push you over.
"Fuuuck," you moaned, panting. "Please, Dean! I need- I need-"
"You need what?" he teased. He twisted his fingers up to your g-spot, simultaneously ceasing his movements on your clit to press down on it hard.
"Oh, God!" you cried out, almost hyperventilating. The feeling of your orgasm building up was almost too much to bear. A dry sob wracked your body.
Dean nipped at your chest, gazing up at your contorted face with eyes so innocent looking you could've sworn, for a moment, that this was not a man you hated with your entire being, who was not currently doing the most sinful things to you with his hands.
You whimpered pathetically. "Please," you said in a small voice. "I need to come so bad." Your face flushed with shame as you finally admit what he's done to you, both with your words and body.
"All you had to do was ask," Dean said, sickly sweet. His hands sparked into motion again, redoubling their efforts. You let out a strangled scream as you were brought right back to the precipice, only this time, surely, he's going to let you?
It was like a pot boiling over, overwhelming heat spreading from your core out through your stomach, making your legs shake and your abs tighten. You made another strangled, desperate noise as you grinded down on his hand.
"That's it, princess, fuck yourself on my fingers," Dean goaded.
You struggled to catch your breath, eyes wide. Your face was hot and wet, and you realized numbly that tears were streaming down your face, running into your hair. He started to take his hands away, but your hands chased them, seizing them and bringing them back to your core.
Dean seemed surprised, but more than willing to fuck you past the point of no return. "Fuck, you just can't get enough, huh," he said, sounding mildly impressed. Your body shook as he all but stilled his fingers inside you, just rubbing your clit slowly until it became too much to bear and you pushed him off.
You laid there panting quietly, your body shivering from the aftershocks of one of the most intense orgasms you'd had in a while. For once, it seemed like Dean didn't know what to say.
You closed your eyes for a moment, then suddenly felt his hand on your clit again, rubbing vigorously. Your eyes flew open and you looked down to see Dean's face set in determination. You clutched at his wrist, trying weakly to get him away, knees trying to close around him, but it didn't take long for you to cum again with a shriek, heels digging into the mattress to push yourself away. Your cunt pulsed around nothing, and you felt a gush of arousal leave you. Dean looked delighted.
"I fucking knew it," he said triumphantly, holding up his hand to survey the mess.
"What?" you asked feebly as another shiver ran through your body.
"Knew you'd be so touch-starved I could get you to squirt," Dean explained smugly. He licked some of your arousal off his hand.
You threw your head back onto the bed exasperatedly. "God, I hate you."
"Could've fooled me," he returned, displaying his hand to you and smirking.
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dividers once again by @cafekitsune and @saradika-graphics
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whatusername00 · 2 months ago
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Which Baldur's Gate Characters Know How To Lace Up Their Clothing - Camp Edition
I got this idea because I noticed Gortash's shirt isn't laced properly, and then noticed Astarion's shirt isn't laced properly, so now I need to look at as many characters as I can because I can't stop noticing. And I'm about to spend too much time on this for it to stay in my brain. Starting with all characters who appear at camp (main party + others.)
Shadowheart, Lae'zel, Gale, Withers, Aylin, Mizora, Duke Ravenguard, Emmaline, and Arnell don't have lacing on their camp outfits.
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Starting with the default clothes for Tav. Yes, they know how to lace their shirt. Good job. This particular Tav is Durge, so it's good to know he didn't forget how when his brain got Swiss'd. However, it's not perfectly consistent because on the bottom 2 sets of eyelets he threads from the outside, but the third set he threads from the inside. Though this is probably intentional so the lacing doesn't hang on the inside of his shirt, so 9/10.
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Astarion, baby boy, you were so close. But unfortunately there are two pairs of eyelets where he threads one side from the outside and one from the inside. For someone who wants to appear so put together, you think he could take the two extra braincells to lace his shirt consistently. 7/10.
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Threaded consistently the whole way through...with one side. Why didn't you finish lacing your shirt? Why even lace one side if you weren't going to lace the other? Why isn't the lacing that you didn't finish shorter than the one that you did finish? All questions I can't answer because I cannot ask. 7/10 at least it's consistent.
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I couldn't get a good in game screenshot of Karlach since her lacing is on her pants, but I found a texture rip so I can work with it. So the lacing here is the same all the way through, super consistent, *mwah*, but...it's sneakily unnecessarily complicated. Typically, the lacing that laces from the inside to outside would sit on top, but it's not that way on her pants. She pulls the lacing through the eyelet, then threads it under the other part of the cross, then threads it through the top of the next eyelet. And with as much lacing as her pants have, this must have taken forever for no extra benefit. It would have been easier to let it sit on top. 8/10 its pretty though.
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Halsin. Beautiful. Gorgeous. I choose to believe the knots are hidden on the inside. No other notes. 10/10.
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I've never actually recruited Minthara so I took a picture from the BG3 wiki. Just like Halsin, beautiful. Again, I choose to believe the ends are hidden on the inside. 10/10.
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Jaheira's pants lace the same way Halsin's shirt does: perfectly. Though if the knot is hidden on the inside, I feel like that would be more uncomfortable, so I'm gonna headcannon that it ties at her waist under her shirt. Other than that, 10/10.
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Minsc's shirt uses the same model as Wyll's so everything I said there applies here, though I feel like it makes more sense for Minsc. My real gripe here is that Minsc is a liar. Talking 'bout some thrice laced pants, but I didn't see any lacing on those pants. How dare he trick me in this way. 6/10 I don't like being lied to.
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Yenna's mom may be dead, but she made sure her baby knew how to lace her shirt before she did. She may have gotten kidnapped by Orin, but she looked put together while doing it. Perfect 10/10. She deserves it after what she went through.
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After being dead for 100 years, Isobel didn't forget how to lace her armor. Gotta be put together to see her girlfriend again. 10/10 Isobel can do no wrong.
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Volo...I don't know what you've done to the front of your pants but it doesn't look good. Some of those crosses are missing. It looks sloppy. What is this. This is something I would do as a joke to see if anyone noticed. Well I noticed and I hate it. 2/10 it keeps your pants closed I guess.
That's it for the camp. I'll link other sets of characters below as I do them.
Tieflings
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a-father-of-light · 3 months ago
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I've been thinking about this topic for awhile and I need it to live anywhere else except my head. Amen.
This is not a deep dive into any of these actors, their sexuality and real life relationships with each other. It's just, have you ever watched two people together and you're like: "yep, they want each other" 🤣😅 or, "yep, that boy is thirsty af" 😌. Like, my guy, you're not fooling anyone.
I don't even ship them, it's just entertaining to watch.
1. Fort wants Peat. Period. That boy isn't even trying to hide it and honestly, I respect it.
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2. Boss finna kiss as much of Noeul's body as the producers will allow. I can't read Noeul, he just seems down. Down for what? I can't tell.
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3. One thing about Zee is, he's gonna lick someone's son. Zee had a whole one-sided crush on Saint. 😅
I don't know what's going on between Zee and Nunew, and I don't care to know (it's none of my business). However, Nu gives "match my freak/crazy" energy around Zee.
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4. Max and Nat mutually want each other. What can I say?
5. Billy with both Seng and Babe. Billy is like Zee, if the job entails kissing someone's son, he'll be there, and he'll do the job well. 😉
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6. Billkin sometimes looks ready to risk it all for PP. - I know the rumours about their alleged relationship but for what it's worth, I don't actually believe it. This is not a comment on the nature of their relationship. I just think that sometimes Bill looks ready to ruin the friendship. 🤣😌
7. I don't know what's going on between Mile and Apo (and again, I don't need to know) but I feel like Mile would donate his artery if Apo needed one. Oddly, it doesn't seem romantic. He just appears to have a sincere admiration and love for Apo. Almost brotherly, almost friendship, but in a "I wanna lick your face" kinda friendship.
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8. Fourth and his one-sided crush on Gemini. Cute.
9. Joong with both Nine and Dunk. Joong does not have to be told twice to kiss Dunk! It's cute and kinda funny sometimes.
10. Man didn't need the director to yell action. He stayed ready to kiss Ben.
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11. I feel like I'll burn for this, but... Nanon had a thing for Ohm. I don't even think I can put a name to said "thing", but it was there and I can't believe I'm the only one who clocked it because no one talks about it.
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12. Gun's former crush on Off.
13. Mew's unreciprocated feelings for Gulf; which he'd probably deny today because of whatever happened between them.
14. Frame and Ryan. Honestly, get it boys.
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15. Bruh... Mos and Bank. They aren't shy about it either
16. Highkey, all of Jeff's co-stars had a thing for him, and who can blame them. 🤣
✌🏾
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personasintro · 1 year ago
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Mutual Help | #53
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↳ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬; in order for you to pretend to be his girlfriend, he helps you with your sexual desires ⏤ he calls it mutual help
⇢ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: jungkook x reader
⇢ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: fake dating au, fluff, angst, smut, slow burn
⇢ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: explicit language, mature content
⇢ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 18.4k+
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⇠ 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯. | 𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐱 | 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 ⇢ 
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It's fascinating how even after getting back to the front of Jungkook's car and a few minutes of riding back to the house, you can still feel the remains of the faintest – yet very noticeable – tingle from your previous orgasm. Jungkook – who remains to have that captivating orgasm glow or it's just your mind playing tricks on you – has put an end to your thirst, or at least that's what you thought for a short period of time. That's until you find yourself glancing his way while the aftermath of a great orgasm buzzes through your body.
If you weren't suspiciously coming back later than the actual ride is supposed to take, you wouldn't resist a possible round two. You can't believe yourself. This is not really like you. You never were driven by lust and pleasure before – at least not to this amount. Jungkook does wonders, not only to your body but to your mind as you often find yourself rethinking... well, yourself.
It's hard to explain, but it's like he brings out another person in you. Someone you never knew existed, at least not to this extent. You know the pleasure he gives you and the undeniable attraction is the reason why you're still doing this. It feels too fucking good to let go.
Before the unwanted thoughts start to invade your mind, the content feeling of being properly fucked just a few minutes ago is replaced by guilt. Not only Jungkook's father questions you of your later arrival, even though you're about ten minutes late, it's Haru and the sight of her that makes you feel bad for allowing yourself a few minutes of – absolutely perfect and irreplaceable – pleasure.
It's some time past nine in the evening, clouds no longer visible as they're replaced by the faintest stars that are sprinkled across the night sky. The garden is fully set up with beautiful outdoor lights, probably the only thing keeping Haru from falling asleep. She looks tired, Taehyung would surely call her wasted if that was possible. She's completely dozing off and though Jungkook's father (or anyone else) doesn't scold you for your arrival, because there's no reason for it, you understand his granddaughter is what sparked his curiosity.
Jungkook lies effortlessly. The lie rolls off his tongue almost skilfully as he blames the traffic and more customers in the grocery store than usual.
No one pays attention to it though, luckily for you, and they go back to their previous conversation. Mr. Jeon rushes to grill the sausages for his only granddaughter, Haru seemingly coming back to life as she assists him with her small hands.
"You really don't know how to act." Jungkook comments, handing you a can of beer which you gladly take, even though you weren't planning on drinking.
"What are you talking about?" you ask, opening the can followed with a hissing sound.
"Guilt is written all over your face, a way to look suspicious." he snorts, your mouth falling open in disbelief while you're being called out.
"Not everyone can lie so easily," you raise your brow at him, finding him cockily shrugging at his good acting skills. "Poor Haru, she's been waiting for the food and we took our time."
"That was us taking our time?" he snorts, raising his brow this time at you as you sheepishly offer him a doubtful shrug. "We both know that's not true. Besides, she was eating like an hour ago, she's not hungry, just greedy."
"Jungkook!" you exclaim, holding back a laugh at his completely honest expression while he shows no big deal of what he has just said.
"What, it's true!" he laughs, "I'm not gonna rush back to the house for some fucking sausages." he mutters mockingly so only you can hear, the beer almost coming out of your nose after you decide to take a sip right as he says it.
You laugh together, not being able to hold it back while you're trying to cover your mouth at least.
"Come on, you two! Join us!" Sona calls out to you, interrupting the moment between you two as she waves you over.
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"You're living with Jungkook at the moment, right?"
It's something they all must've known at some point, though this is the first time anyone addresses it besides Mrs. Jeon's phone call you remember very freshly.
"Ah, yes." you grin, a little embarrassed for some reason.
Perhaps it's just you and your issue with not wanting to look incapable or like a burden. It's a whole another chapter to be talking about it in front of Jungkook's family. Though they've never given you a reason to feel embarrassed or weird about anything, you do find yourself tensing a little at the topic. Calm down, Y/N. They're just having a normal conversation with you.
After Sona's question, you offer them a brief explanation of what actually happened and force you to make this decision. They all seem understanding, making no big deal of you staying at Jungkook's place – even though you know there's no reason why they would make a big deal out of it. At the end of the day, it's Jungkook's business and not theirs. You do feel way better when they actually encourage you for your decision, assuring you that you've done the right thing.
"... I don't understand how someone can do that to the person they rent their place to." Mrs. Jeon scoffs a little, the rest of the family members nodding along her words as they silently agree.
"It's unfortunate really," Jungwon agrees, "But this can happen unfortunately."
"You mentioned something about finding a new place?" Sona asks curiously and you nod, a spark of hope crossing over your features as you nod with a smile.
"Yes!" you respond, "Well I haven't been there to see it yet, but the apartment looks good. Actually I texted the owner and I'm still waiting for him to get back to me, it seems like many people are interested in it. That's just my guess though."
"Well, we're gonna hope you get your own home soon." Mrs. Jeon smiles kindly at you. "Nothing's better than having your own place."
"Thank you." you smile kindly at her, appreciating the honesty and kindness.
Jungkook remains silent, at least was busy talking to his dad on the side for most of the time, but he's standing right next to you.
It got a little chilly and though you have one of Jungkook's hoodies on, you feel the warmth radiating off his body and you wish you could just snuggle closer to him to feel even warmer. Plus, you're getting tired even though it's not that late and cuddling always seems like a good option.
Sona and Jungwon say their goodbye's shortly after, poor Haru already falling asleep in her father's arms as he carries her to their car. You help Jungkook's parents to clean up and after the little nudge from Jungkook telling you to go wash up first, you listen to him. He must've noticed your tiredness and you smile at him appreciatively.
The shower feels nice and even though you would prefer taking a long bath, you stick to your shower routine rather quickly not to take up the bathroom for too long. Mr. Jeon takes his turn after the bathroom is free, offering you a tired yet warm smile before he scurries to their bedroom.
You lay on Jungkook's bed with the night lamp on, scrolling through your social media for a couple of minutes until you don't hear any other footsteps. Jungkook didn't come upstairs to wash up and you wonder what's taking him so long. After realizing you didn't bring a bottle of water to the bedroom, you sigh and make your way downstairs.
On your way down, you notice the lights are on in the living room and what sounds like soft sobs reach your ears. You halt your steps, breath hitching when you glance around the corner to find Jungkook's mom whose shoulders quiver as she cries to his shoulder. You mentally gasp at the sad sight, wondering what the hell happened.
Jungkook doesn't notice you at first, too busy hugging his mother with one hand as he gently caresses her arm.
"It's okay, mom." he mutters, voice slightly high while he can't bear the sight of his mother crying.
You don't mean to stick around, feeling like you're interrupting their moment for sure. However, just when you're about to forget the water and retrieve back to the room, Jungkook notices you. He sees the confusion, yet worry on your face while he sends a soft, but broken smile in return. You fight the urge to go there and be there for him, but you know now it's not the right time and you have to put your worry aside.
It doesn't make sense, at least not until Mrs. Jeon sniffles and says into Jungkook's shoulder;
"How could she do that to you?"
You swear your heart drops the moment she speaks, Jungkook's eyes staying on yours while he raises his brows in a silent empathy.
"You went through that all alone?"
Her voice cracks and Jungkook presses his lips together to prevent himself from breaking down. He looks composed though, and strong because no matter what his mother is going through right now after finding out what her son went through, he came to terms with it. He experienced heartbreak, pain and loss, but he's moving on and it doesn't hurt like it used to.
It doesn't make it easier to see his mother's understandable reaction though.
"Shh, I'm okay mom. I'm okay." he assures her, voice slightly breaking as he hugs her closer, placing his cheek against the top of her head as she continues to cry for him.
Deciding you shouldn't stick around, you offer Jungkook a tiny and sad smile before you quickly make your way upstairs.
When the room is swallowed in darkness and you stare into the ceiling, you keep replaying the scene you've just seen. You wonder if she's okay. If Jungkook is too. He seemed fine. He looked mostly sad because of his mother crying which is understandable. Their bond is strong.
It's clear what Jungkook revealed to his mother and though you're not sure how much he told her, you know it had to be heartbreaking to hear it. She loves her sons deeply, and to know Jungkook really had a hard time and she didn't know, wasn't there for him, is enough to be heartbreaking for any mother.
Jungkook never specifically said he won't tell her. But he might've hinted on not wanting to, fearing her reaction and for mostly, hurting her with the truth. In a way, he was protecting her from it.
There are continuous footsteps and sounds of movements outside of the room, soon replaced by door closing and shower running. You keep tossing in the bed, wondering whether you should go downstairs and check on Jungkook once the whole house quiets down.
You don't really want to come out as nosy and if Jungkook wanted to let you know, he would already stop by. Not going to lie, you are curious to know what he told her even though it's obvious. But you're mostly worried.
Sighing in annoyance to yourself, you get out of the bed as your feet pad against the floor. Just as you're reaching for the door handle, it suddenly gets pushed open before you can even touch it, causing you to almost shit yourself.
"Shit!"
"Heard that one before."
"Oh my god," you touch your forehead to rub it a few times as Jungkook sneaks inside the room, the amusement once again present in his voice as he silently laughs at your reaction. "You scared me."
"Where were you going?" he asks, ignoring your statement as you both make your way to the bed. At least you do and Jungkook follows.
"To check on you," you answer. "But I didn't know if I should. I told myself you would come here if you wanted to talk."
"I came." he says gently, getting under the covers with you but you decide not to comment on it.
You lay on your back, back staring at your ceiling as you stay in utter silence. Jungkook lays on his side, turned to you while his fingertips start to draw random patterns on your exposed arm. You gulp, close to shivering from how nice it feels.
"I told her," he says quietly.
You lick your dry lips, humming in return. "What did you tell her?"
Jungkook knows you know what the topic of their conversation was. He hears it in your voice. And he's aware of you asking what exactly he told her. So he simply says;
"Everything."
"Everything as in...?" you trail off and Jungkook chuckles at how careful you appear to be.
"Yes, everything."
That's all you need to know.
"How do you feel?"
"Surprisingly, okay." he says, surprised by himself. "I thought I would feel awful after telling her what I've been through, especially since she asked you and obviously had her doubts. You know I don't want to bother her, not even when it comes to me." he whispers as he explains.
You nod understandably.
"It wasn't easy to see her breaking down in front of me. I don't like to see people I care about cry. It's one of the reasons why I don't share my personal struggles."
"I know, that's awfully touching and annoying for us." you joke quietly, causing him to quietly laugh.
"But she's okay. I think she mostly cried because I didn't tell her sooner. But I think she would cry either way, no matter the time." he chuckles a little sadly.
"Why did you tell her? I thought you didn't want them to know."
"To be honest, I was planning it. I don't really need them looking at me differently, or to pity me from a distance even though I'm aware they all care extremely about me. I just want to be the same Jungkook for them, you know what I mean?"
You nod.
"But when you were talking with Sona, mom and dad, even Jungwon... asked me about Kiko and as you know, I only told them we broke up because our relationship wasn't what it was. They just asked about her, and couldn't possibly understand what must've happened for us to break things off. And I get it, I do. They saw our relationship from the front row as some might say, she was practically our family,"
He takes a breath.
"From what I understood, they thought we're on good terms and I don't know... I guess I felt sick of hiding it from them. It felt right to tell them at that time, so I started with mom. Coincidentally, she asked about how I'm doing and all that, it was just a great opportunity to tell her."
"I'm happy for you, Kook. I mean, I don't know if that's the right thing to say but I hope you feel better after telling them." you tell him gently as the caressing of his fingers stops for a second.
"I'm not sure if I feel better, I can't really define it. I just feel like I don't have this burden on my chest, you know?"
"Well, as long as you don't regret telling her, I think it's a good thing you feel this way."
"I don't regret it. I'm gonna tell Jungwon tomorrow, I'm supposed to meet him before we return back home. I asked mom to tell dad, I don't really want to go through that all over again but I'm sure my dad won't cry his eyes out for me. He's a tough guy."
You know what he means.
His father might not have a reaction like his wife had, but it's still going to be painful for him to hear Jungkook's story.
You yawn, turning onto your side to face Jungkook as he retrieves his hand, chuckling at the evident tiredness.
"Shit, I don't know why I'm so tired. I woke up the last out of everyone." you scold yourself, much to Jungkook's amusement.
"I took a number on you, huh?"
You roll your eyes, not really denying it because that has definitely something to do with it.
"Are you gonna sleep here?" you yawn again, cuddling to your pillow as Junkook snorts.
"Of course, this is my bedroom."
With your closed eyes, you smile tiredly. "Your mom–"
"My mom won't do anything," he interrupts you, "What she doesn't know won't kill her."
You snort, "You're unbelievable."
"So are you, baby." he muses, "Now go to sleep."
You let out a laugh, ignoring the flattering of your heart from the usual and dearing pet name, allowing yourself to fall asleep in Jungkook's close and comfortable proximity.
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"So... what do you think?"
Jungkook awaited this question, so once you turn around with an excitement plastered all over your face, it's no surprise. You've been practically glowing the moment you crossed the doorstep. To be honest, he's sure you've been impressed as soon as you got out of the car and saw the neighborhood.
You've been back from Busan for three days when the owner of the apartment you're interested in finally gave you the date to go there and have a look. Of course he agreed when you asked him if he's going to accompany you. He promised you he'll be there for you. And so he is.
The building is unique and so is the apartment itself. The owner told you you could bring your own furniture since there's no bed, couch or anything you were forced to sell because of what happened with the other apartment. It doesn't bother you for sure, he's sure of it because he knows you're excited to furniture it again. You're also excited to have a place of your own, even if it's still a rented apartment but unfortunately, you can't afford to get a mortgage nor do you want to do that at the moment.
Jungkook knows all about your plans, you've talked about them a few times.
So when he sees happiness, hope and excitement – there is no reason why he should lie to you.
"It's great. I love it." he smiles and you almost squeal in another excitement but you're trying to contain it.
The owner seems to be nice – in his forties – living nearby with his wife and kids. He loves this apartment so much that he didn't want to hire any real estate agent. He could've easily avoided any other responsibility but it looks like he cares about who's going to live in his apartment. He even tells you – amongst telling you every important information about the apartment – how this was the first apartment he was able to buy. He lived here with his girlfriend who's now his wife.
"It's small enough for four of us, so we had to move out when my wife got pregnant but trust me. If we all could fit here, we would be living here." He told you which made both of you chuckle.
"I would say this place is wonderful for a young couple." Mr. Hwang – as he introduced himself to you – butts in while your eyes widen.
"Oh no, we're not–this apartment is just for me." you explain, Jungkook looking around completely unfazed by the assumption. Don't people always assume something?
"Oh, I'm sorry!" He's quick to apologize.
He had no way to know it's only for you. Well, you did contact him about being interested but you never really shared information about you being the only one who would live there. And to be completely clear, you came here with Jungkook which wouldn't have to mean anything at all – but his assumption isn't this huge mistake.
Still, you find your cheeks getting warm as you assure him it's alright.
Mr. Hwang excuses himself when his phone starts to ring and he leaves you both standing in the middle of the living room.
"Why do people always have to assume whenever a woman is seen with a man, they have to automatically date?" you hiss once he's away.
You turn to Jungkook who looks at you with big eyes, before they narrow into thin slits as he laughs at your showing annoyance.
"Doesn't that bother you?"
Jungkook cracks a grin, "I don't care what people think." he shrugs causing you to groan.
In reality, Jungkook understands your frustration and it's not like you're overly frustrated because of it. Observant and maybe a tad annoyed is the right definition.
"Stop with the sour face."
His brows shoot up as he looks at you confusingly. "What sour face?"
"You really don't want me to move out?" you ask him with a grin, slowly making your way in his direction as the teasing begins and Jungkook is aware of it. Which is why he responds with a roll of his doe eyes.
"I'm happy you found your place."
"That's not what I'm talking about," you point out, giggling when he narrows his eyes at you in annoyance. "Would you really want me to take up your office? Come on, we both know it wasn't ideal."
"I like having you as my roommate," he informs and then cracks a grin, "Even if you take up my office space."
You nudge him in his chest causing him to laugh. You bicker a little, especially by trying to pinch or grab one another. That's until Mr. Hwang comes back, apologizing again for having to take the call. It causes you to act like proper adults instead of kids bickering with each other.
When he asks the important question, you share a look with Jungkook and despite his previous words, he encourages you with a smile and soft nod which makes you look excitedly at Mr. Hwang.
"Yes. I'd love to live here."
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The next few days are hectic.
Not only are you about to move into your new apartment, there is loads of stuff to be bought and ordered. Jungkook helps you every step of the way, even driving you to all the furniture shops your mind comes up with. Not mentioning he's the one carrying the heavy things and disassembling your bed.
You feel bad though.
As per usual, he assures you it's okay and he's happy to help. You both know you have no one else who would do this much for you. Jimin and Taehyung would try but – do they even know how to disassemble a single bed? They would probably mess around the whole time.
All of this happened fast.
Mr. Hwang told you you could move in right after the contract has been signed and you paid the deposit. You wouldn't want to waste any more time than it's necessary. So you started ordering the furniture pieces you need, having them delivered to your new address. Everything should arrive tomorrow and today happens to be your last day living in Jungkook's apartment.
Despite your excitement and anticipation of decorating your new home, you do feel sad gathering all your things and packing them back to the boxes that were never thrown away.
Jungkook isn't the only one who got used to having a roommate.
If it was anyone else, you're not sure if you would feel comfortable with them. With Jungkook, everything is different and even if this was for the time being, you felt comfortable and his place felt like home to you.
Not going to lie. You will miss his amazing bathtub and shower.
"You can come take a bath anytime you want."
That's what he told you and brought a smile to your faces.
"Should we do anything special? Celebrate?" Jungkook asks as he wipes his forehead with the back of his hand.
"Hm, what do you have in mind?"
It's already evening – too late to make any big celebrations. Do you even feel like celebrating? You've both been back to working, even Jimin and Taehyung have been busy with their jobs.
"Take-away and maybe a glass of wine?" he suggests, not really having much to offer considering the time. None of you are in the mood to get dressed up and go out.
After a whole day of working and then packing as soon as you've gotten home – to Jungkook's place – going out is out of the question.
So take-away and a glass of wine it is.
You both clean up, wiping all the sweat from the entire day. While you're in a shower, Jungkook orders food after checking with you and even though you've agreed – you're still touched to see your favorite food which happens to be Korean food from a local restaurant. It's the one that's slightly pricey but worth every penny.
You talk, mostly about tomorrow's plans since you have to wake up early to get to your new place where the new furniture will be delivered. Jimin and Taehyung are supposed to come too to help, which you appreciate. They wouldn't take any of your words for a "no", insisting on helping you. Well, you didn't protest too much. Four people do more work than just two – you're sure Jungkook is the one who's got the most work.
The wine tastes nice and you're on your second glass when you feel your face getting a nice warm temperature. It suddenly makes you oddly sad to be sitting in Jungkook's kitchen, almost like saying goodbye which is ridiculous.
Jimin was right.
You're bad with changes.
You never denied it.
And this is one of them. You know you will bounce back once you're alone, but now having Jungkook close and thinking you won't be waking up every morning knowing there's someone else there, feels sad.
You also know how fortunate you're when it comes to finding this apartment. And for it to be only yours. Most people have to have a roommate, if not more than one. This opportunity feels like a sign for the universe and you should be joyful about it. You are. But you will miss this.
Once you're done, teeth brushed and tucked in Jungkook's bed, there's something unspoken lingering in the air as you both lay in the room with lights off. With your bed already ready to be taken to your new place tomorrow, Jungkook's bed seems like the best option for you and who are you not to use this opportunity. You hate to admit how much you enjoy simply being next to him, a nice feeling before you will have your bed all to yourself and you'll be left alone.
A couple of minutes of constant staring at the ceiling slowly turns to shifting, you sigh as you rub your face. On the other side of the bed, Jungkook turns to face you as the thin sheets rustle around him. You thought he fell asleep by now.
"Are you okay?" he chuckles, causing you to do the same when you realize you haven't been very subtle at showing your lack of exhaustion.
The thing is that you're tired, especially from the wine but somehow you can't fall asleep. It's nothing unusual since it happened to you quite a few times.
"Are you nervous about the moving process?" Jungkook asks softly as you turn to your side to properly face him, a hand tucked beneath your cheek as you give him a sigh.
"No. Not really, I'm excited." you admit, "I just can't seem to be tired enough."
"You know... I'm proud of you. I don't think I've told you that these days." Jungkook says as your brows shoot up in a silent surprise.
"Proud of me?" you breathe out a chuckle.
"Mhm," he hums, "I know you felt like a nuisance which is far from the truth, I know you hate relying on someone else but look at you. You've found yourself a new place, you've got a good job and you're doing good."
Your heart warms up at his thoughtful and caring words. They feel like the greatest balm onto your beating heart. To hear someone is proud of you – you don't get to hear that often – is something that makes you nearly emotional and you hold back any tears that might come out.
It's not Jungkook's intention to make you cry or him wanting to turn into a sappy person in the middle of the night. He's warm and caring when it's needed but he doesn't say this kind of stuff often either. So it makes you cherish this moment even more.
"Thank you." you whisper softly, smiling at Jungkook who you're not sure can even see you.
A gentle sound comes out of his mouth, the one who tells you he has smiled back.
A sudden urge to pee interrupts the moment though and you groan, informing Jungkook about having to use the bathroom. He laughs while you make your way to the bathroom. Once you're done, Jungkook seems to be still fully awake which isn't much of a surprise. You didn't expect him to be asleep in two minutes – which you wouldn't put past him too much.
You lay back on the bed, adjusting your pillow before your head falls back onto the soft material.
Not even five minutes later, you groan once again rather loudly, slapping your arms at your sides as Jungkook cackles silently. Standing up, you make your way to the kitchen when you turn on the dim lightning. Opening the fridge, you take out the cold bottle of wine that you and Jungkook haven't finished. You pour yourself a glass of wine, hoping for it to tire you some more.
Sipping on the wine, you try not to think about how depressing you must look like – mentally laughing at the image. You've got no thoughts, just simply enjoying the taste of wine and your last night at this place.
A sound of soft footsteps follows and a moment after, Jungkook joins you in the kitchen with squinted eyes as he scans you and the glass of wine in your hand. "You okay?" He cracks a grin as you silently giggle and nod.
Are you? You're not sure because of the lack of clothing he's wearing. You swear you could stare at those abs all day.
"Just can't sleep."
"And wine is going to help?" He grins, wrapping his fingers around your hand as he tilts the glass in his direction as he takes a sip. Lips in a straight line for a second, he tastes the flavor on his lips while his eyes flicker to yours, waiting for your answer.
Too preoccupied with staring at him, you realize you haven't responded as you avert your gaze and crack another grin. "Should it not?"
He leans against the counter, arms crossing over his chest and biceps bulging, you choose to take a sip to distract yourself. But trying to distract yourself in Jungkook's presence is almost impossible, especially when he opens that dirty mouth of his.
"I could've tired you out in a much more sophisticated way."
The wine almost gets through your nose and with a hand over your mouth, you're trying not to choke as Jungkook shoots you a pleased smirk.
He might've caught you off guard, but you can't deny what could possibly be a verbal act of teasing, does to you. Your body heats up at his suggestion and instead of scolding him, you decide to play his own game. That's what the two of you do, right? Tease each other until you properly act on it. You wouldn't mind that outcome to be honest.
"You could've. I don't know why you didn't suggest it while we were in bed." you hum, turning to him a little as you swirl the goldish liquid in your glass.
Jungkook's eyes spark with mischief and amusement, tongue poking his cheek. "I don't need a bed for that though."
One point for him.
"Hm, really?" you muse, biting your lower lip as you finish the glass and place it back on the counter.
Stepping closer to him, you're face to face as you confidently place your palms over his buffed exposed chest. The skin is warm and soft, edging you to feel him up until you have enough. Controlling yourself, you focus on his eyes instead while something rolls in the pit of your stomach. Palms giving him soft caressing, staying solely on his chest, you mimic his tiny smirk.
"So you could ruin me?" You recall what he told you.
The truth is, you haven't forgotten and you've caught yourself thinking about it too many times. What are Jungkook's boundaries? What does he want to do to your body? Perhaps if this was any other man, you wouldn't be so adamant on finding out. But you trust Jungkook with every fiber in your body, there's nothing but curiosity, excitement and lust.
Something flickers in his gaze, a recognition of his once said words as he stares you down amusingly.
"I know what you're doing."
"Hm, what am I doing?" you ask, playfully glancing at him once again as you catch yourself staring at his chest, where your hands caress it.
"You little minx, you know." he chuckles, "You're trying to provoke me."
"Oh, I do?" you feign innocence, chuckling at yourself right after while you and Jungkook share a knowing look.
This constant teasing and provoking is what makes your body heat up. It's hard not to squeeze your legs together as a wave of arousal washes through you.
Jungkook leans down, hands on your lower back as he squeezes your sides, inching his face closer to yours. His nose touches yours and you're embarrassed how quickly you're prepared for the kiss. But the kiss never happens and Jungkook decides to play with you for a while, nudging his nose against yours before he opens his dirty mouth again.
"You horny?"
Groaning and ignoring his laugh, you slap his chest and take a step back. "You just ruined it."
He laughs louder, rubbing his nose before he catches you before you can walk away, turning you with your back facing him. He presses you against him, your ass touching his crotch while he squeezes your hips once again.
"What's ruined can be fixed."
And then he delivers a soft kiss to your jaw.
"That's very debatable." you breathe out, turning around as much as you enjoyed his lips on your skin.
Wanting to gain at least some kind of dominance, you press him harder into the counter as you raise your brow at him in challenge. A tiny smirk comes to your lips. Your hands no longer stay on his chest, making way down to his abs that flex under your touch and you let out a breathy chuckle. Jungkook's watching you, cocking his brow at you when you glance at him. He's waiting for your next step and deciding you want to make him react, you cup his groin as your thumb caresses the head hidden beneath his boxers.
He wasn't expecting you to do that, therefore he flinches at the sudden and straight-forward touch and your lips curve in a silent win.
"What? You think you're the only one with tricks up their sleeve?" you tease, his doe eyes narrowing as he licks his lips.
He tucks a strand of hair behind your ear and you feel your walls of short-lived dominance and power falling down. Especially when he flickers gently your chin with his index finger.
"Not at all."
"So?" You raise your brow in impatience again.
"So, what?"
You roll your eyes while he tries to hide a smile. "I'm starting to think you're all talk, Jeon."
His brows shoot up before he nods with his lips pursed in a mocking manner.
"Yeah, you are. Talking about ruining me, then saying I'm not ready. Whatever that means... and then you don't do any–what the hell?"
Tucking his arms behind your thighs, in one swift movement you're thrown over Jungkook's shoulder. He tries to stabilize you through your yelps and once you're safe, he starts walking to his bedroom.
A rush of excitement overcomes your body and just when you giggle, a slap is delivered onto your ass which shuts you up.
Before you can say anything, Jungkook kicks the bedroom door ajar and sets you onto his bed.
"You want me to ruin you?" he asks, standing at the end of the bed as he stares down at you and your disheveled appearance due to your shock.
Walking to his nightstand, he turns off his night lamp and you get a perfect view of his darkened eyes.
"Isn't that what I asked for?" you breathe out, not hiding how breathy you got all of a sudden. The adrenaline and lust do their job.
"I will ruin you until you cry." It sounds like a promise.
"You sound confident." you comment, smirking as he frowns before he hovers over you.
Not responding, he starts kissing your jaw slowly continuing down your neck as he tugs on your oversized shirt but he doesn't urge you to take it off. Nor he says anything once he pulls away, giving you a subtle smirk before he plops on his back in the middle of the bed. He lowers down onto the soft pillows.
"Come here."
You sit up, confused and curious, and make your way towards him as he ushers you to get on his lap. You do, trying not to stare at the slowly growing bulge between his thighs while he licks his lips.
"Sit on my face."
"Pardon?"
He laughs silently, making himself even more comfortable with your weight on him. "Sit on my face."
You know what that means. Despite not trying it before, you're not a clueless person to these things. You just can't believe you're actually hearing him say it.
"I know it's cliché to say this but... wouldn't I suffocate you? Because I'm not sure if I can hold myself up for too—"
"Y/N, baby," he sighs, "Just fucking come sit on my face."
"Okay." you repeat, releasing a nervous chuckle as you stare down at your shirt.
"Take it off. All of it." he prompts you and you listen.
His eyes never leave your figure, watching silently the entire time you undress right in front of him. He eyes you up and down as if you were the finest meal, even though he has seen you naked more than any of the men you've been before. Men – if they can be called that.
It's one of the things why it works so well between you and him. He makes you feel comfortable and confident in your own skin. There might be times when you're nervous, wondering what he's thinking about you or your body, though he never gave you even a reason to question him about that. Jungkook might be great at hiding a lot of things, but voicing how much he likes sex with you is not one of them. You both aren't hiding this obvious fact.
He stares at your hardened nipples, before he watches you take off your underwear and toss it on the floor. And then with the slightest smirk, he motions for you to get closer to him and finally sit on his face.
You're impossibly wet, but rather than feel embarrassed about it, you get this boost of confidence and dominance once you hover over Jungkook. He grabs you by the back of your thighs, moving your heat right in front of his face as he takes in the sight. Licking his lips, he briefly tells you to grab onto the headboard.
His hot breath fans you between your thighs and you shudder, your hands grabbing the wooden headboard before he pushes you down onto his face. You gasp, both from the shock and indescribable feeling of Jungkook's mouth on you. His nose pokes your clit, tongue gathering the wetness before his mouth starts to move.
You're trying to hold yourself up, somewhere in the back of your mind still thinking about not wanting to physically hurt him but as soon as you move even an inch from his face, he growls and pushes you down.
"Holy shit."
Jungkook's mouth is preoccupied, therefore there is no time for any verbal reactions but even then, he hums pleasantly against you and you swear you hear him moaning in the middle of it.
Back arching and body moving on its own, you start grinding against his face while your knuckles turn white from how hard you're gripping the black wood. Apart from this being a completely new sensation and experience for you, you would give Jungkook the highest rate there could be. Losing a track of time and focusing on the pleasure, you inform him of being close to reaching an awesome orgasm that could easily tire you out.
Your body tenses, barely comprehending what's happening around you or even outside of this apartment, you're waiting for the sudden snap of the knot that's sitting in the pit of your stomach.
But as easily the hunt for orgasm has come, it leaves even quicker once Jungkook stops moving his mouth and pushes you up. Your face is curled in mortification, worried you might've suffocated him and the fit of scolding is on tip of your tongue once you quickly check on him.
However – despite his heavy breathing – you're met with his glistening face and mouth curved in satisfaction. "You're not cumming that easily, baby."
You get off him, staring wide-eyed with an open mouth, you stutter over your words. Is he seriously in the mood to deny your orgasm? You wanted to play but this is now what you had in mind. But before any complaints could make it into the thick air, Jungkook sits up and wipes his face with your shirt that's been laying on the edge of his bed. He tosses it on the ground, focusing on you once again as he grabs you by the back of your neck and kisses you harshly.
Annoyance comes and goes as soon as you feel his soft pillows, tasting yourself on his tongue. He hums into the kiss, detaching your lips despite your whines.
Leaning his forehead against yours, you're too close to kiss him again. As if he could read your mind, he chuckles raspily as he gently shakes his head.
"Jeon, just fuck me." you whine, pouting at him which makes him laugh again.
"I will," he promises, gently giving a rub to your chin with his thumb. "Do we need a condom?"
He asked what?
Surprised, you pull away slightly to stare at his face to make sure you heard him right, but the same question lingers in his dark awaiting eyes.
"You heard me right," he assures you, chuckling again as he can't help but find you both funny and cute. "Do we need a condom?"
You don't realize what weight his question holds, though it's pretty simple. He's asking you if you want to act upon your desire now. The one that's been on your mind for what seems like forever. Maybe now it's not the right time to be thinking how much you appreciate him asking you beforehand, even though it's a bare minimum you would discuss anyway. But still, he's waiting for your answer and the call is completely up to you. You're the one holding power.
Knowing you could easily say no for whatever reason, Jungkook has definitely a pack of condoms hidden somewhere. He's letting you know he's fine with either.
"Are you sure?" you ask silently, trying to shake yourself out of the shock as he gives you a gentle smile that almost melts your heart.
"I am," he confirms, "Are you?"
This being the last night you actually live together, it does seem like a nice way to say goodbye to you being roomies, a way to celebrate it perhaps. Or it's just your stupid thoughts but whatever it is, you've known your answer right after he asked it. All the possible arguments with yourself or annoying overthinking is pushed aside.
"We don't need it." you confirm this time, ignoring how excited you're getting by the thought.
"Then lay back for me."
You do, staring at the ceiling for a second before you watch him make his way out of the room. Confused and baffled, you mentally sigh in relief once he comes back not even a minute after, showing you the sex toy in his hand.
"Why?" you ask simply, giggling when he tosses it next to you and hover over you with a toothy grin.
"You'll see."
Opening your mouth to complain, he shuts you up with his own mouth as he gives you a few very needed kisses as he pulls away. You rank your hands down his chest and to the hem of his boxers, pouting a little.
"I wanted to have my own fun with you." you shamelessly admit, making him laugh.
"Some next time, yeah?"
"But why?" you whine, rubbing him through his underwear just to find him fully hard.
"Oh, you're impatient, aren't you?" you tease and he rolls his eyes, poking you in your rib as you giggle.
"That might be the reason. But I also need you to be fully present. You can choke on my cock some other time."
You choke on your spit, slapping his bicep as he hides his face in the crook of your neck to hide his smile. He gently bites you there, a low hum making it out of your mouth. Despite his words, you still sneak your hand under his boxers and give him a few pumps. He lets out a breathy chuckle, looking down at you through lust filled eyes.
"You just can't help yourself, can you?" he chuckles.
"Nope."
The smile on your face doesn't last long, how can it when in one swift motion, Jungkook turns you over and harshly puts your ass up, hands gripping the soft flesh. His breath fans over the side of your face before his lips brush against your ear. "Is this how you want it?"
Honestly, you don't care in what position he puts you in. As long as he finally fucks you.
"Yeah. Just please, do something." you whine a little, perching your ass up much to his amusement.
He palms your ass. "Last chance, Y/N." Jungkook reminds you, causing you to lift your face up as you glance at him.
Blowing out a slow breath, you crack a tiny grin. "You want me to change my mind?" you tease, but raise your brow while you wait for his answer.
"Just reminding you because there's no going back."
The only reason he's reminding you of this is because of you. At the beginning, you had a hard time admitting out loud you want him like this. Most people probably don't take this seriously just as much as you do. You've been unsure from the start, though the excitement and curiosity has been piqued. You're responsible, always took precautionary measures – both of you did – because you're not in a position to risk anything. Jungkook and you don't sleep with other people, that's the whole point of you hooking up together in the first place. But you both still made sure you were safe.
But now you're about to take that part of safety away. It makes you a little paranoid, considering Jungkook's previous situation but it's not fair to compare it to that. That's what has been stopping you from fully saying fuck it and just do it. But you want to do exactly that.
Why is this even a big deal?
People have unprotected sex all the time. You and Jungkook know each other, and trust each other. He's not a stranger. You'll do this one time and you're done. You'll quench your curiosity, excitement and thirst – everything will go back to normal.
You're done overthinking this. This is what you want. What you both want.
And Jungkook is still here, making sure he won't possibly ruin things. He wants to check in with you, even now when you're seconds from pinning him to the mattress and doing things your own way.
"I know," you whisper. "I don't want to go back. I won't."
He studies your face for a second longer, leaning toward you as he presses a gentle kiss to your shoulder blade. You shiver, arching your ass as it brushes over his length making him chuckle at your anticipation.
"Alright, let's do this. Let me ruin you."
"I'm all yours." you comment amusingly, facing forward as Jungkook lets out a soft laugh.
Fuck, this is really happening. Your heart is racing when you hear Jungkook taking off his boxers, going back to his previous position that is behind you. The mattress dips under his weight and knees, hands gripping your ass as he spreads your cheek apart. Cool air hits you between your thighs, your core aching for him and only him. Fuck, you've never wanted him inside you this much.
"You're dripping baby." he says as the tip of his fingers touches your wetness, rubbing you up and down which makes you let out a shameless whimper.
"Don't comment on that, it's embarrassing." you manage to choke out, cheek pressed back against the sheets while your breathing quickens up.
Jungkook breathes out another chuckle, "I find it hot."
He retrieves his fingers, something you only feel and ready to whine again, you're interrupted when you hear a humming sound coming from his lips as he licks his fingers off. Holy shit. There's no time to look back, to see the devouring sight that's stolen from you because of your position. All is forgotten when the long awaiting friction suddenly comes, the head of his cock poking your clit as he smears your wetness there. You're a fucking mess. 
Embarrassed to admit this, you're already close to cumming and he has barely done anything. You're not kidding, you're going crazy because of this.
One hand on your hip to hold you in place and get a good grip on you, his other hand is wrapped around his cock as he aligns it with your hole. Holding your breath, your whole body tingles with anticipation and excitement. And then finally. The head of his cock presses against your opening, sinking inside you as your wet and warm walls stretch around him. Since you haven't been stretched before this, the pressure brings the greatest pain and pleasure at the same time and holy fuck, it feels like you're in an entire different universe. You feel every inch of him, everything you haven't felt before because of the stupid barrier in form of condoms. And even knowing that he's still pushing himself inside you, you know it's going to be freaking hard to go back to condoms.
Whole body shuddering, you let out a low, almost inaudible moan into the sheets, gripping them in your fists as Jungkook finally fills you to the brim. Oh my god.
"Mhm, fuck." he mutters behind you, his cock twitching inside you.
The completely new feeling comes rushing down on you as your whole body crumbles down, walls clenching around his thick and hard length as you shamelessly grind and let go. This has never happened to you before, the realization not hitting you until you calm down from your high.
"Holy fuck. Did you just cum?" Jungkook asks in awe, hands gripping your ass even tighter.
Fuck, you really did. 
It's more than clear to him. He could never mistake your orgasm for something else. But rather than tease you about it, he finds it hot and has a hard time controlling himself.
His cock is nestled deep inside you, still stretching your walls and despite your previous orgasm, your thirst is not fully quenched.
"Fuck." you moan into the sheets.
"You're so fucking hot. I might bust my nut." The idea of him doing it, filling you up feels so forbidden and dirty. The feeling that it brings is unexplainable.
He feels you clenching around him, arousal coating his entire cock and it makes him wonder. "Fuck, does that idea excite you?"
You're even dirtier than he thought. You never fail to amaze him.
He knows he can't expect any sort of response from you, your body calling to him and he decides to listen to it, delivering you the pleasure he promised he would. So with one swift movement, he pulls out enough for the head of his cock to stay inside you as he thrusts back inside. You can't speak, no words escaping you to tell him how fucking good that feels but he knows it. He sees how your body reacts, he feels it.
He groans, tilting his head back as he starts snapping his hips into yours, fucking you just like he promised. His lower abdomen hits your ass cheeks as the sounds of your skin meeting fill up the air. It's nothing you've ever imagined or dreamed of. This is way better. Breaths coming out as moans, you swallow hard when you catch yourself almost salivating at the sensation and friction.
There are no words exchanged, both of you barely able to speak as keeps his pace and hits all the right spots. You feel him almost in your stomach, the dominance of his thrusts bringing you pain and pleasure.
You're close to losing it. You nearly do but then Jungkook halts all his thrusts, pulling out before he puts you onto your back.
He has never seen you so fucked out already. But your eyes are on him, surprised at the sudden change but the lust filled in them is unmistakable. He's glad he left the lights turned on, or else he wouldn't be able to admire what a pretty sight you are.
The same thing goes for you. Jungkook is driven by the lust, his entire face glowing as he traces his tattooed hand over your chest. Taking you by your thighs, he pulls you closer to him – fast and harshly – spreading your legs as he aligns with your opening again.
You both stare at each other, Jungkook dropping his eyes between your bodies for a second before he pushes in. His eyes stay on you, your own fighting to close as the same and most addicting pleasure rushes through your entire body. But you force and keep them open, both of you moaning as he fills you up. The angle is different this time, his cock pressing onto the opposite side of you and you swear if you pressed on your stomach, you would be able to feel him.
However, you don't dare to move. You're too scared to cum again and you're not sure for how long you can go before your body shuts down.
He grips you by the back of your thighs, keeping his hands there as he starts fucking you again. He watches you with dark and lust filled eyes, biting onto his lower lip harshly when you grip the sheets beside you, turning your knuckles white. With each thrust he makes, your breasts bounce, his eyes shifting between them and your own eyes before he averts his gaze to your bodies meeting.
He's watching the way he disappears inside you, his entire cock glistening with your wetness as it drips down your ass and his balls while your clit is swollen and nipples perked up. Holy fuck.
"You like it?" he asks, finding his voice that comes out way raspier than you both expect. "You like feeling my cock like this, huh?"
"Mhm, yes, fuck." you moan, shutting your eyes in pleasure as your mouth stays open.
You're left gasping, no other words leaving your mouth when he pulls out, just to press your thighs together and angling your legs to the left, as they stay pressed against the mattress before he enters you. The change of the new position makes you see stars, your teeth biting into your lower lip harshly as he's rougher this time. He's hovering over you, hands beside your body as your body shakes with pleasure.
It's safe to say you're in a complete another world right now. The amount of pleasure you're experiencing right now – you've never had that before and it feels so fucking good that it has your eyes water. You can't even make out what you're saying, every word coming out as a moan or gasp instead. But you're not loud. You're not screaming your lungs out, informing all the neighbors about your doings even though Jungkook could care less about that.
Instead, the sounds you make are soft and almost innocent like, it makes Jungkook go feral because you're anything but innocent in this moment. You're so fucked out, completely swallowed by the lust and approaching orgasm. You feel like a fucking trophy. Any guy having a woman in their bed acting like this would feel like the king of the world.
He grips the side of your face, your eyes slowly opening as you share a look. You get even tighter, Jungkook's hips halting for a second before he continues the same pace. Hand lowering to your neck, you grip his wrist and prompt him to wrap his hand around it. That's exactly what he did. You can't remember when was the last time he had his hand around your neck, the memories of it are almost faded as he gently applies pressure.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
He's careful, you know he is and he never squeezes your neck to the point you would have trouble breathing. Yet his hand feels heavy and it has your eyes rolling back. I'm close, you want to say but fail miserably.
Despite Jungkook's roughness, he's still delicate in other matters because he knows. He's watching you the entire time, listening to your body and your orgasm approaching doesn't go unnoticed by him.
"Cum around my cock, baby." And that's all you need for you to let go, not even five seconds after he says it that your whole body tenses before the knot snaps inside you.
He hisses, feeling you clenching around him uncontrollably as he keeps his pace until he's forced to slow down and eventually stops once he sees you overstimulated. Pulling out, his cock slaps against his stomach, red and angry.
You open your eyes, finding Jungkook watching you as you give him a lazy smile. "I'm in heaven."
A rumble of laughter leaves his mouth, leaving you giggling as well as he brushes a few strands of your hair off your face. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fucking great," you hum, catching the cocky and pleased smirk he gives you. "Give me a minute."
He leans on his knees, trying to ignore his cock screaming for attention as your eyes shamelessly stare at it. "You sure?"
"You wanted to ruin me, no?" you joke, Jungkook's lips twitching as he cocks his head to the side.
"Aren't you ruined?"
To be honest, what state you're in is not what he had in mind. There is still more he's got prepared for you, but he wouldn't want to push you past your boundaries. You already look like you're fucked out, but considering you're cracking a grin and talking to him seems like you're doing fine, still high from the mindblowing orgasm.
"'m fine. You can ruin me some more." you grin again lazily, making your legs more comfortable as you stretch them right in front of him. In your defense, it's not about flashing him but not wanting to have a cramp from the position he had you in.
But you still enjoy the way his eyes avert down between your swollen cunt, a cum mixed with your arousal dripping out of your hole. He makes you feel sexy. Especially when he looks up, meeting your gaze as you give him a sheepish smile, not embarrassed by what he sees. Because it's all thanks to him.
"Come here." you tell him, motioning with your finger to come closer as he arches a brow.
He hovers over you, silently watching as you wrap your hand around his neck while the other brushes over his chest. And then you say with the silent and most delicate voice; "Kiss me."
"You want to kiss?" he amusingly asks, pecking your lips even though a peck wasn't what you had in mind and he knows it. Teasing sh–
But he kisses you again, this time his tongue brushing against yours as he fully devours your mouth. "Have to get into the mood." you inform him between the kisses, using the moment for you to catch a breath.
"Mhm, you're no longer in the mood?" he hums against your lips as you giggle.
His hard cock brushes against your entrance and you have to control yourself from whimpering. You're all hot again, definitely not done for tonight but you're still very sensitive.
Jungkook's breath fans over your jaw, teeth nibbling onto your jaw as he says in a low tone. "We can arrange that."
Just when you think he's about to kiss you, he shoots you a smirk as he inches down, eyes still locked with yours. It's until he focuses on the swollen mess between your thighs and gives a gentle kiss to your clit. You gasp, flinching from the sensation as he looks up from between your legs to check your reaction.
"Think you can take it?"
Can you? 
You're not sure what possesses you, you know you're still sensitive down there and need a little bit of time to recover but you nod, spreading your legs even more, inviting him to continue. And god, he does. He has no mercy on you, attaching his mouth onto your cunt as he starts eating you out.
He grabs you by your thighs, mumbling a deep; "Stop running."
Not even a minute later, the complete lust comes back and there's no trace of overstimulation as you grind against his mouth that's been doing wonders. Your hands are uncontrollable, gripping and tugging onto Jungkook's hair as he growls into your center, listening to your pleas.
"I can't. I can't. I need you inside me." you plead between your moans, two orgasms already overcame which can't be said about Jungkook, who has put your pleasure first.
That's not fair, you think. Besides, you want him inside you again.
Jungkook pulls out with his chin completely drenched in your wetness, the sight making you gulp. He wipes it with the back of his hand, smearing some of it onto the sheets as he straightens up, pumping his cock slowly with his eyes set on you.
You rest onto your elbows, lifting yourself while you watch him jerking himself off. You just can't seem to pull your eyes away.
"Are you gonna spread yourself out for me or you just want to watch?" he smirks.
Ignoring his cocky attitude, you can't even react as you gulp down the saliva that gathered in your mouth. You sit up, shifting your eyes to his gaze as you turn around and get back on all fours.
"Fuck," You hear behind you. "You're the death of me."
Proudly smirking, you throw him a pleased and cocky look across your shoulder. "You love staring at my backside that much?" you tease.
Both of you know it's you who loves this position. Both of you do actually, but this time it's you who does it automatically.
One of the rare times you get to tease him and actually feel like you're doing a good job, is when Jungkook shamelessly shows his admiration or whatever it is. He's not ashamed to compliment you or show how much he loves fucking you. But it's this never ending game between you two, one you always lose because Jungkook is one step ahead of you. Whenever you feel like you've won, he does a checkmate.
Just like now.
He slaps your asscheek, chest brushing against your back as he hovers over your ear and says with the lustful voice full of desire. "Shame I can't see your pretty face though."
Your body grows hot at that, cheeks flaming hot at the blunt compliment that makes you clench around nothing. This is the time where you've no idea whether he says this kind of stuff to make you all hot, to fluster you or because he really means it. Whatever he's doing, it's working and you're practically willing to do anything for him at this moment.
You haven't had many sex partners in your life to begin with, but none of them had such a dirty mouth and power to say such things to you. Damn, some time ago you never even knew this was your kind of thing. Jungkook has taught you so much, but most importantly you learned much about yourself thanks to him. Maybe he's not even realizing it but you are.
There's no beating around the bush, no more talking as Jungkook guides his hard cock to your opening and slowly enters you again. He lets out a pleased sigh, followed by a silent moan from you as your walls welcome him again. The sensation feels like the first time all over again. Someone would think you got used to it, this being the second time Jungkook enters you with no protection and barrier between you, but no. You can't get used to it, meaning it feels just as amazing when he entered you like this the first time.
One hand on your hip to hold you in place, he gives your asscheek a rough squeeze as he moves his other hand up and grabs you by the back of your neck. He gives you no warning this time, though maintains his gentle manner when he starts thrusting into you. You writhe beneath him in pleasure, moaning his name and pleas as he picks up the pace and makes your body grow even hotter.
Beads of sweat coats your skin, your mouth open in an absolute pleasure and desire. He keeps holding you down, getting needier and rougher with his thrusts while you can't even think straight. When you thought your eyes were watering before, it's even more intense now as your tears start pricking your eyes. He lets go off your neck, delivering your ass a proper slap and you lift yourself up, gripping the sheets beneath you as tears stream down your cheeks.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck." you cry out. You've never heard yourself to be this desperate before. Let alone for a man. Sex does wonders. Jungkook does wonders.
"Fuck, look at me." he says, ushering to meet his gaze as you barely angle your face to look at him.
He leans what seems like toward you but you're mistaken when shortly after, you hear a familiar buzzing and before your fucked out mind can comprehend what he's doing, he's pressing the sex toy against your clit. A new wave and uncontrollable pleasure washes over you, leaving you sobbing loudly while Jungkook curses behind you. His eyes are shut, head leaned back as you get a clear sight of a line of sweat trailing down his neck and chest. He opens those dark lust filled eyes, your eyes meeting again and that's the final end for you.
He has officially ruined you. 
You've never cum harder, your body on fire and trembling as your walls squeeze him repeatedly as you squirt all over yourself. Jungkook audibly curses again, growling when your orgasm dies down and you have barely any strength to hold yourself up. It all happens quickly as he pulls out of you, gets you on your back as you stare at him through teary and exhausted eyes. He jerks off quickly, throwing his head back and cums with the deepest moan, spilling all over your stomach and chest.
Both of you sweaty and chests heaving rapidly, Jungkook hangs his head low as he looks at you through his fringe falling onto his eyes, some of the strands sticking to his forehead and face.
It's hard to describe exactly what you're feeling. Your heartbeat is in your ears, your chest hurts from how you're trying to catch a breath and amongst this all, you feel like you're ten seconds from passing out.
Even through his harsh breathing and his own need to calm down, he gets closer to you and cups your face. "Are you with me, baby?"
Baby? What's he thinking? He has already ruined you, there's no need for more.
You give him a brief nod, your eyes closing.
"Shit."
Why does he sound so alarmed? 
"Look at me baby."
You do. You're aware of what he's saying, you're not literally passing out but your body needs a minute or two to recover. You just can't seem to properly react.
You're met with concerned eyes as Jungkook squeezes your cheeks to get a proper look at you. You lick your lips, letting out a tired and amused chuckle. "Thought you killed me? You're not gonna get rid of me so easily." you say completely exhausted, sounding like you could be high or wasted.
He only stares, a beat of silence before his whole face and body relaxes as he lets out a sigh and chuckle of relief. Still, he lets his eyes linger all over your face as he watches you. You crack a smile, wiping your forehead with the back of your head as he brushes your hair off your sweaty forehead.
"You squirted all over me." he teases lightly.
"You came all over my stomach. We're even." you joke, getting a warmed sound laugh from him.
"You cried." he comments, wiping your cheeks. "It was hot."
"You ruined me." you comment back with a tired chuckle.
"You wanted to get ruined."
"Hm, I did." you hum.
He cracks a smile. "I'll bring you water, alright? I'll be right back and wipe the mess off you."
"Mhm." You close your eyes again, feeling like you can breathe again as Jungkook rushes out of the room to get you the water.
He comes back not even a minute after with a glass and a towel, ushering to sit down and drink the whole glass. You do as he watches you every second, barely blinking. Rolling your eyes, he does the same before he starts wiping his cum from your stomach and chest. He moves to between your thighs shortly after, cursing under his breath when he sees how swollen you are. You start wincing as soon as he starts.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." he apologizes quickly, wincing as if it hurt him too when the overstimulation is too uncomfortable.
He goes away to toss the towel to the laundry basket and comes back shortly after wearing shorts, finding you sitting on the edge of his bed. It makes him laugh at how innocent you look, despite you're still completely naked.
"I'm going to shower." you announce before he gives you a dubious look.
"Will you manage by yourself?"
"Yeah." you tell him, standing up too abruptly which makes you stumble.
He quickly moves to catch you, biting back a laugh when you're about to take a step and wince. You shoot him a glare, silently telling him it's his fault. The soreness you currently feel between your legs is making it hard to walk. You're so sore already, wondering how the hell you're going to walk and function properly tomorrow.
Jungkook lets you go, leaving you to wash yourself as you embarrassingly limp to the bathroom. When you're in the shower, palms against the warm and wet tiles, you replay everything that has happened. You can't believe you and Jungkook did this. You bite your lips to prevent yourself from squealing, washing away all the sweat and body fluids off your body.
In the midst of it, Jungkook knocks on the door and brings you clothes, leaving after he checks on you.
After Jungkook's turn to wash himself, he joins you in the bed where you're dozing off. "So, what are you sayin'? Did you like it?"
"Honestly?" you ask, nibbling on your bottom lip as Jungkook hums. You chuckle at yourself as you admit; "It's gonna be hard to use condoms again."
Why the hell did you just say that? You mentally scold yourself. Now you sound like you don't want protected sex. Perhaps you're overreacting because Jungkook never sounds like you assume things will be different. You both know it's responsible for you to use them again. It was never spoken but it's clear this was one time thing.
"And how are you feeling?"
"So fucking sore," you complain, whining. "I won't be able to move in tomorrow! This has been your plan all along, right? Admit it." you joke, making him laugh.
"You got me."
You both laugh, tiredly and lazily until your laugh dies down. "Kook?"
"Hm?"
"Do you think, um... how to say it?"
"Just say it."
Argh! This thought crossed your mind while you were showering. You feel content. You're not exactly paranoid and surprisingly, you're not freaking out over having sex without a condom. You're happy and you wouldn't change your decision. You regret nothing.
Fumbling with your fingers on top of the freshly changed sheets, you bite the inside of your cheek.
"Do you think maybe I should buy a morning after pill? Just in case..."
Jungkook stays silent but gives his answer seconds after. "If it makes you feel better," he says lightly.
You're on birth control, you haven't missed your pills and you have no knowledge if you can still take a morning after pill. Groaning, you reach for your phone and start doing your research in the middle of the night.
"Okay. It says here there's no need since I'm on the pill." you inform, not even sure if Jungkook is awake before he hums tiredly in return. You roll your eyes at him. "Yah!" you whisper harshly.
"Relax. I didn't even cum inside you."
"Okay but there's always a chance!" you exclaim as Jungkook sighs.
"That would have to be a fucking luck, that's all I'm saying." he mutters into his pillow, turning with his back to you. Men.
He had luck in that department, you think. He was surely having sex with her more often, unprotected for sure and you're also sure he finished inside her most of the time. Argh, why the fuck are you thinking about this and their sex life?
Groaning at yourself, you lock your phone and place it back onto the nightstand. It's better to finally surrender to exhaustion, hoping you'll at least get a good sleep despite the throb and soreness between your legs. Everything's going to be just fine.
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"Oh shit! This place is actually nice!"
Looking at Taehyung in a silent offense, you snort at his huge grin as he looks around your new place. Boxes are everywhere and most of your things don't have their own place, but it looks pretty good either way – especially if Taehyung says it with an impressed look while Jimin joins him.
"I know, right? Come on guys, I will show you around."
"Where's Jungkook?" Jimin asks as Taehyung snaps his head in his direction.
"In the bedroom, assembling my bed again." you laugh, feeling actually bad for him to do that again since it's not that long when he did it at his own place.
Taehyung laughs, though it sounds forced which makes you narrow your eyes at him as you silently question him. "Why are you so awkward?"
"Come on, let's go." Jimin says, placing his hand on your back as he leads you further down the apartment.
You glance confusingly at them before shaking your head. What's wrong with them? They meet Jungkook after you give them a quick tour and shortly after, they help you unpack some of your stuff. Taehyung and Jimin stay in the living room while you keep hopping between them and Jungkook who is soon done with your bed. You order three pizzas for all of you, a nice gesture as a 'thank you' that they decided to help you because you couldn't do it without them. They're a huge help.
Although, Jimin is surprisingly quiet and when you went to check on them earlier, you found him and Taehyung bickering. If that's what it was but they quickly went silent once they spotted you.
You're not sure if Jungkook has noticed it but he hasn't said anything so far, quietly munching on the pizza with pouty lips and big eyes. You steal glances at Jimin who barely says anything and Taehyung is surprisingly quiet too, even though he tries to break the silence with awkward small talk or jokes which aren't like him.
"What's with you?" you ask, interrupting Taehyung in the midst of his 'casual joking' as he shuts his mouth and puts it into a straight line before he sighs.
The empty boxes of pizzas are gone, ready to be thrown out once there will be more boxes to take outside. You bought beer for all of you as well, wanting to have a mini-party with them at your new place.
Jimin's eyes don't look too different and his face doesn't say much which makes you question his unusual behavior. You're clearly missing out something and even Jungkook studies Jimin with scrunched brows.
"You're being suspiciously quiet today." you voice out your thoughts, seeing Jimin giving you a look – one that confirms your assumptions.
"You guys are quiet today too." he points out and you make a weird face because he doesn't make any sense.
"We've been literally talking almost every minute." you chuckle, giving him a weird look.
"Yet you never mentioned you guys are hooking up again." he bluntly calls you and Jungkook out, noticing the edge in his voice as you feel your stomach drop. For a second, you're assured you've heard him wrong and you must be hallucinating.
You awkwardly choke on your spit, glancing at Jungkook who's simply staring at Jimin but you see surprise in his eyes too, though his reaction is more subtle and controlled which can't be said about you. Jimin leans against the couch, lifting a brow at the both of you as you look at Taehyung whose face is burning with guilt. And you don't need any more answers because you give Taehyung an unimpressed look.
"It happened! I'm sorry guys!" he quickly exclaims, shooting his arms all over the place. "I got drunk and somehow–"
"Somehow you managed to tell him about this." you deadpan and Jimin sighs next to Taehyung.
"Don't get angry at him," Jimin says calmly, "Why didn't you guys tell me?"
You press your lips together, feeling bad for not telling him sooner but in fact, there weren't many opportunities. You didn't want to tell him such a private matter like "Oh, and by the way me and Jungkook are hooking up" – not that he has to know in the first place. But being friends with them for years now, you learned that you guys tell each other many things.
"We wanted to." Jungkook butts in, saving you from having to explain yourself through guilt. He sounds casual – not making it a big deal and you appreciate that. Jungkook has always been better at these things. You let your emotions get the best of you.
"And to be fair, Taehyung only knows by an accident." he adds, pointing out some important facts as Taehyung snorts.
"Yeah, found them in the kitchen with Jungkook's hands all over Y/N's ass." he snorts again and you shoot him a glare while Jimin scrunches his nose.
"I waited the whole day for you guys to tell me," Jimin says, "It's not like I'm mad at you for not telling me. But do you guys think it's a good idea?"
"Huh?" you blurt out as Jimin scowls.
"You are seriously hooking up?"
"Isn't that what we are talking about?" Jungkook mutters while Jimin shoots him a glare.
"You guys are gonna ruin your friendship." Jimin informs. Your mouth hangs open while Jungkook scoffs at Jimin's sharp words while Taehyung gives Jimin an offended look as if those words were aimed at him.
"Jimin–"
"No, they need to hear this. You've been best friends for years, the thing you did before was fucking stupid but this? You're choosing to just sleep with each other? You're seriously willing to risk your friendship for sex?"
Jimin words are sharp but they hold a truth to them as well. It's everything you're afraid of too but you convinced yourself this is just a period of time where you have fun. You and Jungkook made sure it's pretty chill and casual. And just like with your friendship, not many people fully understand you.
Jimin isn't particularly rude or sounds angry, he's just blunt and serious which is enough of a shock to you. He's always been soft spoken, even if honest, and you know he means well. Despite his words, his eyes remain somehow gentle even if there's a pinch of seriousness.
And you're left with no words leaving your mouth, taken aback, wishing that you could react somehow. But right now, it feels like a slap to your face from Jimin.
"I don't see how it's any of your business, Jimin-ah." Jungkook says, stealing a glance at your distraught face.
"Of course it's not. But you two are being reckless, so I'm just reminding you."
"So they fuck, and what?" Taehyung deadpans, "Let them have their fun."
"Taehyung-ah, excuse me but the only thing you know about relationships is fun. That is if that even can be considered as something related to a relationship."
"Yah, fuck you!" Taehyung exclaims and you would snicker at that under different circumstances for sure. "You suddenly got a girlfriend and you think you're a master of relationships? Just let them be. It's their decision and stop scaring them."
"I'm not scaring them," Jimin shakes his head with a chuckle before he looks up at you, his features softening as his eyes keep jumping between you and Jungkook. "Guys, I just think you need to hear this. And to be honest, I'm shocked to know you've been doing this for god knows how long. I thought you're smarter than that but you're fucking risking and that's the end of it."
"We have it under control." Jungkook informs him.
"Yeah, don't let those words bite you in the ass later." Jimin reminds him with a whistle which makes Jungkook frown and you stare at the two of them.
"Can we stop?" you speak up, slapping your knees in the process as you gain their attention.
"Y/N," Jimin says softly, inching closer to you as you stare at him with big and sad eyes. "You guys are totally entitled to do whatever you want. I just don't want you guys to ruin your friendship with this. I've thought your friendship is precious and special, not this special."
Your cheeks heat up. "And it is special." you whisper.
It's clear that Jimin doesn't approve any of this and you're aware that he is right. There are many risks you took – both of you – but in the end, you want to do this and you don't want to overthink it.
"You and Jungkook know the best, so I'm not gonna butt into this any more than I already have. I just want you guys to be reasonable and smart."
"Well, thank you for your input but we got it." Jungkook clasps his hands together and you crack a grin as the atmosphere loosens up a little.
"Yeah, they got it. Let them fuck." Taehyung shrugs and all of you burst into laughter.
"Can we not talk about this? Or make a big deal out of it? Me and Jungkook are fine, still best friends, right?" you say, looking at Jungkook who leans back and nods in your direction.
"Yeah, besties for life." He sends everyone a 'peace' sign as Jimin laughs while shaking his head.
"Right," Jimin nods, "Just don't hurt each other, okay?"
"I would never." Jungkook says immediately and you can only agree.
Jimin opens his mouth as if he's about to say something but then he closes it, changing his mind at the last minute. "Alright, you guys know what you're doing." he ends the topic with a simple sentence and all of you leave it at that.
"Okay, those two fuck each other, shocking. But we still haven't met your girlfriend. What is even her name? Does she exist?" Taehyung cocks his brow at Jimin who suddenly turns a little shy, grinning as he licks his bottom lip.
"She exists," he laughs, "Her name is Rin." he answers casually.
"Wait? Where is she from?"
"Japan."
"Oh my fucking god!" Taehyung rolls his eyes. "Let's pray she is nothing like Kiko then."
Your hand is over your mouth immediately while Jungkook frowns at him and Jimin looks offended.
"How did you meet her anyway?" But Taehyung remains unbothered as always, waving his hand as Jimin clears his throat.
"In a club?" Jimin asks as if it's not obvious. "We weren't spending our free time on other places too much." He reminds him as Taehyung utters 'True'.
"Wait," Taehyung suddenly stops. "Is she the girl you fucked a few months ago? The cute Japanese?"
Jimin's face reddens and all of you get an answer as Jungkook smirks, trying to hide it by tracing his fingers over his lips.
"Taehyung-ah."
"Look at you, getting all shy. I think I'm gonna be sick."
All of you burst into laughter, well excluding Jimin who pokes his elbow into Taehyung's side.
"Well, I think it's cute." you butt in, trying to save Jimin in this situation but all you get is a snicker from Taehyung in return.
"What's cute about it? He fucked the girl once and now he's dating her."
"Hey! You find love in all places."
"Yeah, yeah," he waves you off. "I heard Japanese females are loud and whiny in bed. Is that true?" he asks straight-forwardly and shamelessly stares at Jimin and Jungkook.
"Haven't you fucked a Japanese woman?" Jungkook asks instead, arching his brow as Taehyung rubs his chin in a deep thought.
"Yeah, I might've. The one or two I fucked were, so that's why I'm asking. Are all of them like that?"
The man has no shame.
"Taehyung." you mutter his name, scrunching your nose at the topic as he defensively looks at you.
"What? Are you whiny and loud too?"
You gasp, slapping his shoulder before Jungkook speaks up; "She can be."
It's the fact he says it with the utmost confidence and pride, your entire face feeling like it's on fire as you scold him loudly.
"Ew, I really don't want to hear about my two friends fucking. Thanks." Jimin mutters in disgust as Taehyung grins.
"You all are getting too soft." Taehyung comments, still with a grin as you roll your eyes.
"And you're getting too annoying, nosy–"
"Alright I get it, I get it." Taehyung shuts you up with his palm over your mouth. You lick his skin, expecting him to pull away but it's like he awaited you to do it because he doesn't pull away.
He grins instead and says; "Mhmm, more." He fakes a moan before he starts laughing like a maniac when you start slapping his arm, his hand eventually letting go off your mouth.
"Oh, I almost forgot!" Taehyung suddenly jumps to his feet, giving you a curled smirk before he walks to his bag. "I brought you, uh, think of this as a housewarming gift."
"I didn't know we were bringing anything." Jimin mutters, pouting a little as he sheepishly scratches the back of his head while Jungkook frowns as well.
"You guys don't have to–what the fuck?!" you exclaim, your mouth hanging open as Taehyung turns around with a pair of pink and fluffy handcuffs, twirling them on his index finger.
It's an understatement that all of you stare at him as he comes up to you with a smirk and tosses the handcuffs into your lap as you stare at the object as if you have never seen it before. You never held one in your hands, that's for sure.
"Don't worry, they're new. Not used." Taehyung assures you, plopping on his previous spot as you glance at Jungkook who stares with big eyes at the handcuffs, just as surprised as all of you, before he relaxes and leans back into the chair.
"Wow, thank you for your thoughtfulness." you mutter dryly as Taehyung snorts.
You tuck your index over the opening, letting the handcuffs hang in the air as you inspect it. Tilting your brow at Taehyung, you give him a questioning look as he grins and shrugs.
"Just wanted to give you something fun."
"Yeah, and what's more fun than a pair of handcuffs?" you beam sarcastically as Taehyung grins even more.
"Right? A proper Taehyung gift!"
"I've got no words." Jimin mutters while you place the handcuffs next to you as Jungkook suddenly reaches for them.
Staring with an open mouth, you watch him twirl it in his hands as he shoots you a grin. "Thanks Taehyung, they'll come handy."
You ignore how much your body buzzes with a newfound excitement, rather focusing on the noise Jimin makes. A noise of disgust and annoyance as his whole face scrunches in one.
Deciding it's better to redirect the attention to somewhere else, you stand up and usher them to help you with the remaining boxes as they grunt but obey. That's why they're here after all. To help you.
Jimin and Taehyung start bickering, Jimin scolding him for even thinking of buying you such a thing and considering you know what he thinks of your arrangement with Jungkook, he surely voiced his opinion about it to Taehyung too.
Jungkook is the only one who's still sitting on his previous spot, now that the guys went to your bedroom it leaves you two alone. You catch the handcuffs from Jungkook's hands, trying not to melt at how lustful he looks with his legs spread and lap looking inviting.
"I will take this." you tell him, sounding tempted and teasing as Jungkook watches you with the biggest smirk on his lips.
"Be my guest."
You hear behind you as Jungkook follows you in your tracks and you give yourself a few deep breaths before you have to face your friends, and most importantly Jungkook, again.
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Your friends leave late at night, apart from Jungkook who kindly decides to help you organize your small kitchen. Of course, Taehyung couldn't help but tease you on his way out, not forgetting to yell "Have fun" as Jimin cringed and tugged him out of your place. He didn't forget to imply Jungkook is staying at your place tonight either.
Despite your friend's teasing, he's still planning to go back home.
"You know, don't listen to Taehyung. You can still stay the night, it's late anyway." you speak not even a minute after they're gone, putting the cutlery to its designed storage box in your top cupboard.
It's not that big of a problem for him to get home. His car is parked in front of your building and the drive to his home is not even that long. On another note, you've been organizing and moving furniture all day until you decide to have a little hang-outs in between, which mostly consisted of you pouring the guys drinks and eating some snacks. It's a simple idea, one you're not against and from the looks of it, Jungkook is not either.
He still decided to stay a bit longer, helping you with your kitchen so you can start using it tomorrow morning with no problem. "I thought you wanted to get rid of me."
The teasing tone of his voice makes you crack a tired chuckle, giving him a short glance before you get back to your task.
"It's impossible to get rid of you, Jeon Jungkook." you joke, "I kinda like having you in my life though."
"Is that so?" he hums, cocking his brow teasingly.
"Mhm." you laugh, shutting the cupboard as you move onto the next one below where the rest of the kitchen tools will be.
He finishes placing plates in one of the cupboards, moving onto mugs and glasses where you assigned their place.
"Listen," he starts, clearing his throat. "About what Jimin said... are you okay?"
Besides moving into your new place being the top event of today, Jimin finding out and then giving you a lecture was big enough of an event itself. It's not something that is easily forgotten and even after that conversation was over, it still lingered at the back of your mind as you mildly felt embarrassed. You've never had that. You never felt embarrassed to do your own thing with Jungkook, no matter what anyone else would say.
Taehyung is the most supportive friend when it comes to this. Perhaps it has something to do with his own choice of lifestyle, but it doesn't matter. He still gets it. Sure, Jimin never intended to make you feel embarrassed and he's pretty much clueless about your inner feelings his words brought in you. His words still made more damage than you want to admit.
Glancing at Jungkook, you find his concerned eyes on you, the same ones you were staring at yesterday when you had a memorable moment together.
"It's just... he was a little harsh with his words and I wanted to check on you."
You know what he means. It's exactly what you were thinking about just a moment ago. Jimin is a reasonable friend. Incredibly caring too. Whereas Taehyung is up for any fun and loves freedom, supports freedom. Both of them are right in their own ways, you don't deny that.
"That was expected of him," you give him a forced chuckle, one that Jungkook easily detects and makes his brows furrow. But it's not something to worry about and you make sure to let him know. "I get what his point was."
"Yeah, I think we all gathered that." Jungkook mutters, making you snort.
"But what about you? Are you okay?"
"I can handle Jimin anytime." he answers, grinning while he makes you laugh.
Jungkook handles most things better than you. He's far more collected and doesn't let too much stuff get to him. Even though Jimin rooted some sort of doubts inside your head, you and Jungkook know the best how things truly are between you.
"Are you staying the night?" you ask, changing the topic after coming to the conclusion that you have no interest in overthinking this any longer.
Jungkook brings you peace and the trust between you is stronger than anything else.
"Do you want me to?" he teases.
Groaning, you throw your head back. "You really want me to say it, huh?"
"Hm, maybe."
Rolling your eyes at him, you purse your lips. "You're free to stay here. It's late anyway."
Jungkook lips twitch in amusement, though he doesn't comment on you purposely not saying it. "Fine. But I gotta wake up early."
"Early for what?"
"Gym."
"Oh my god. For real?" He really wants to wake up early for a gym?
He doesn't look offended by your lack of excitement for his healthy and active life-style at all. Rather than that, he finds it funny.
"Yeah. And then I've got one afternoon photoshoot to do."
"Okay, then we should go to bed. I can finish this tomorrow." you tell him, shutting the cupboards. He doesn't protest, both of you simultaneously letting out a yawn which makes you both laugh again.
It's been a long day and after taking a shower with Jungkook joining you in your bed shortly after, you fall asleep in a matter of seconds. You don't tell him but you're truly thankful for not only his help but his presence too. Whatever the reason behind him staying is, you're glad you're not your first night here alone and you have him by your side. Even when he's not there when you wake up, leaving you a note beside your bed.
"Gonna miss you roomie. Enjoy your new place and see you soon. – Kook"
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The next time you see your friends is a few days after you've moved into your new place. The constant back and forth between trying to plan the camping trip in the group chat has caused you enough headaches throughout the week. It's not only up to you, Jungkook, Jimin and Taehyung, but also their other friends that are coming too. No one expected for this to be easy but finding the right date, so everyone could go, has been the toughest task of the week.
Luckily, in the end everyone agreed on a date which happens to be the next weekend. You've had enough time to make your place fully liveable, decorated it to your wishes while your bank account is close to being empty. That's if you don't count the small savings you managed to not touch for your friend's vacation that is yet to be discussed. You're already scared.
The four of you are about to discuss further details that don't involve the rest of the group as much. It would be logical of you to go all together in one car – and that's how you thought it would be.
"Namjoon and Hoseok are bringing tents. And there's gonna be two rented caravans for some to sleep in. So I agree with Y/N, we should all go in one car. It saves money." Jimin says after your logical suggestion, which you didn't even think is up to debate because it just makes sense.
"Makes sense. Honestly, I don't care as long as I don't have to drive." Taehyung says, already munching on the chips which Jungkook has tossed him a second ago, because the guy was too lazy to get it for himself at his own place.
You've decided to meet up at Taehyung's place since it was the closest. All of you have to go to work tomorrow, so there's no time to hang out like you usually do. You only met up to figure out the entire trip, so you don't panic right before you have to leave. Plus, Taehyung is terrible at replying to messages and so is Jimin sometimes.
"About that," Jungkook starts, scratching the back of his head as he earns everyone's attention. "I sort of invited Ester too."
He did what? 
The silence that follows seems like it lasts cruelly long, but it's only you because even though the guys seem surprised by the news, they show no problem with that. Though that can't be said about you because you're staring dumbfoundedly at Jungkook, wondering if you heard him right.
"Great!"
"Why did you do that?"
You and Jimin say at the same time, Taehyung slowly putting more chips into his mouth as he stares at the three of you. Jungkook frowns confusingly, shrugging his shoulders as if not understanding why are you questioning him which makes your annoyance bubble even more.
"It sort of came out."
Sort of... You can't with this guy. The little scoff you let out is enough to give him away your thoughts.
"Isn't that so random though? It's a friend's trip. No one knows her besides you."
Not that you have anything against Ester. She's a nice girl and she never gave you a reason not to like her, but Jungkook's random invitation to a trip full of friends is just totally out of the blue and doesn't make sense. Even guys seemed surprised by it, but they decided not to comment on it.
"Then they'll get to know her."
It's Jungkook's bluntness and the look he's giving you that pisses you off and you have to hold yourself from springing off the couch.
"I don't see any problem–"
You don't let Jimin finish, completely ignoring him. "You've known her for five minutes."
That makes Jungkook's brow lift up. "And?"
"Why would you invite someone on this trip?" you exclaim, trying to grasp the meaning of this.
The last camping trip was your first one with all of them. And you've been friends with him, Jimin and Taehyung for years. Obviously, you were familiar with Hoseok and Jin but still, you knew each other before you were invited. The exact thing happened on New Year's Eve.
It might not be a big deal of him inviting her, but it doesn't make sense considering it's last minute and you're leaving in a few days. The amount of tents and caravans are already taken care of.
"I invited you."
That makes you gasp, "I'm your best friend!"
"Guys–" Jimin tries again but Jungkook shrugs again.
"She's my friend too."
Okay, that makes your blood boil. Is he really comparing you and Ester? You've no idea how this even escalated to this but you can't seem to calm down, even as Jimin tries to butt in while Taehyung tries to hide an amused grin.
"Where is she going to sleep anyway?" Taehyung speaks up, earning a "Thank you Taehyung" glance but of course the idiot has to ruin it. "I mean, she could share the tent with me." he adds cheekily which makes Jungkook scoff while you scrunch your nose in disgust.
"I will sort that out. I can always ask Namjoon if he has another tent, I'm sure he mentioned he has more than two or he can ask someone. You girls can share the tent."
You haven't really spoken about who shares a tent with who, but you kind of expected it to be like last time. Maya is also coming so she's going to share the tent with Namjoon, obviously. Then there's Jin who is going without Jia since she's pregnant and doesn't want to join this time, so he would share either the tent or caravan with Hoseok. Jimin and Taehyung shared the tent together and so did you and Jungkook.
Not to get things mixed up, you don't really care who you're sharing the sleeping space with. But the fact he's expecting you to share it with Ester because he decided to invite her all of a sudden just calls for a conflict. It's the audacity he's showing that makes you open your mouth in pure disbelief as you stare at Jungkook with a proper what the fuck written on yur face.
Also, not even Jimin decided to invite his girlfriend. His freaking girlfriend that would make a bigger sense to come since she's actually close to someone out of all people.
He sighs, "It came up. She wanted to make plans with me on that very weekend, we talked about it and it just came up."
"So you felt bad for her, so you invited her?" you question, arching your brow as Jungkook frowns.
"No," he says with the same frown, emphasizing the word. "Jimin wanted me to invite her somewhere a long time ago. Guys seem to be okay with it and the only person who seems to have a problem with it is you."
"Excuse me?"
"Oh shit." Taehyung mutters, straightening himself.
This whole situation is giving you a major whiplash. You and Jungkook barely argue, that can be seen even on Jimin's and Taehyung's faces as they look genuinely shocked by the exchange between you and Jungkook. You were fine.
You were texting and even Face-Timing a few times since you haven't had the chance to see him in person since you moved in. You were literally joking just minutes ago. And you know you are the one who has voiced your confusion, but you're not going to keep your mouth shut when you're genuinely baffled over this news.
"I don't see any problem here, seriously."
It's the tone he uses that makes you too stunned to speak. He's looking at you as if you were the enemy here and that kind of stings. He's here talking to you like this, looking at you like this for a girl he barely knows and that's when you know what triggers your anger and annoyance even more. You can barely remember times where Jungkook would be strict with you. The past few months have been the greatest months in your friendship, and you're not talking about the sex. You joked, teased each other, laughed... but now it's like you don't recognize you and him.
It's not that serious, just a change of opinions. But at this moment, you can't just keep your mouth shut and move on.
You're jealous. Jealous that he's here ready to argue with you over a girl who's apparently his friend. He makes you feel like you're the idiot here and you don't know, maybe you are but you don't like how he's acting.
"It's last minute, Kook..." Jimin starts, giving you a side-glance. He's looking at you as if you're about to jump and attack Jungkook. "But I'm sure it can be arranged. Girls can share the tent, sorry Tae but I'm not sure Ester would be happy to share it with you. We don't want to traumatize her."
He tries to joke, laughing awkwardly while still giving you the side-glance while your frown turns only deeper. Even Taehyung laughs and tries to fake disappointment from Jimin's words.
"I'm not sharing a tent with her." you stubbornly scoff, Jungkook glaring the hell out of you and you're ten seconds from showing him your middle finger.
"You're being difficult. I don't know what's your problem with her, but she's a nice girl. You met her."
"Share the tent with her then. Since she's your friend." You know you're being childish, you even sound like it and you ignore everyone's eyes on you which makes you uncomfortable.
"I don't know if that's appropriate. Her sharing it with a girl is more appropriate."
You know he's got a point. But still, stubborn as you are, you fold your arms over your chest and give him a sweet smile. "Should've thought about it before you invited her."
"Okaaaay, guys. There's no need to–"
"You're so selfish right now." Jungkook comments and you gasp.
"Kook, seriously." Taehyung mutters but you see red.
"I'm selfish? You invite your friend and I'm selfish because I don't want to share the tent with her? Since when is she my problem? You invited her, you deal with it, Jeon." You're raising your voice, though Jungkook doesn't look phased one bit as he scoffs and looks away, clenching his jaw.
"Fine. I will buy her a fucking tent if that's what it takes." Don't forget to fuck her in it. Wait, where did that come from?
"I thought it's a friend's trip too. I mean, I don't really mind if someone invites a plus one. I get both sides." Taehyung tries to reason.
Jungkook lets out a sigh. "I wasn't planning on inviting her but it happened. I don't see any big deal in this."
Oh my god, you're done.
"Okay, then I'm inviting Yoongi." you say with an attitude, Jungkook's head snapping to yours including Taehyung and Jimin.
You do regret saying it as soon as it leaves your mouth. Why Yoongi out of all people? What did you think? But you don't back away. There's no way you will embarrass yourself even more than you already have.
"Don't be ridiculous. You're being childish." Jungkook scoffs. Yes, you're petty and what?
"What? I thought we are allowed to invite friends."
"He is not even your friend."
"How would you know?" you bite back.
"Oh come on!"
"Alright, calm down you two." Jimin frowns, looking genuinely concerned despite his frown.
"No, I'm starting to like this." Taehyung says with a smirk, looking excited to witness this as you frown at him.
You stand up, straightening your pants as you give a look to all your friends. "Yoongi is coming too."
"You don't even like him. Seriously, this is ridiculous." Jungkook can't help but speak up again.
You don't argue with him on that. Sure, Yoongi gets on your nerves most of the time but you don't not like him.
"Just invite who you want and be done with this." Jimin sighs, rubbing his forehead.
"No, she just did that on purpose!" Jungkook exclaims, causing you to scoff.
"Mind your business, Jeon and better go figure out where your friend is sleeping." you remark.
Deep down you do feel bad because of Ester. She has done nothing wrong to you or to anyone you know. You don't want her to think you don't like her and you do hope whatever happened here won't reach her. God, you really hope Jungkook won't snitch on you. He wouldn't, right? 
"Wait, where are you going? How are we gonna sort out the cars then?" Taehyung calls out to you when you're on your way out.
You linger between the entrance of the living room and entrance hall, shrugging.
"We're gonna have to go with two cars anyway. So much for saving." he adds, grumbling.
"I don't know, I'll just go with Yoongi. Let me know how you arranged it. I'm going, I'm tired."
Taehyung's place starts to feel suffocating and you rush to put your shoes on, bidding them a sore goodbye as you get into your car.
You're a fucking idiot. You smack your head against the headrest, closing your eyes as you rub your forehead furiously instead, not wanting to smudge your make-up.
Great. You cannot show without Yoongi. You argued with Jungkook and let the most stupid idea come out of your mouth because of... because of what exactly? Annoyance? Anger? Jealousy?
All of the above most likely.
But the aftermath of your argument in front of Jimin and Taehyung is not the only thing that causes you another headache.
The thing is...
How the fuck will you convince him to go?
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numberoneredriotfan · 14 days ago
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It makes me really upset that Kirishima and Bakugou's friendship wasn't highlighted too much after season 4 or the shie hassakai arc. And I don't even mean this in a shipping sense. Kirishima was a HUGE part of Bakugou's character development even if it wasn't shown that way.
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At first, Kirishima is introduced as one of the only people who can handle Bakugou and all his intensity- as well as his explosive (haha get it) personality. This is showcased more clearly in the sports festival arc.
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Kirishima offers to be Bakugou's horse, because he's the only one that can handle his explosions with his hardening (which is probably the only quirk in 1-A that really effectively deflect Bakugou's explosions, so nobody else could really be in that position other than Kirishima.) Also, he without hesitation called Bakugou a dumbass and told him to remember his fucking name, even after seeing how angry he can get when provoked. And this isn't even the last time Kirishima does this. So Kirishima becomes someone who can handle Bakugou, but their friendship doesn't end there.
Most this development probably happened off-screen, but overtime Bakugou started to see Kirishima as an equal. Not just someone who could handle Bakugou and put up with him, but as someone who is able to stand by his side unwavering while also understanding his perspective to some extent (which I assume is rare for Bakugou, considering most other's view of him is either "what a jackass" or "wow he's so cool").
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Which is why I really love this scene they added in the anime, which shows that Kirishima understands Bakugou, even if he seems like just an arrogant asshole. I think the only other character who understands Bakugou on that level is Deku (and of course his classmates learn to understand later on, but I'm talking about early on).
Kirishima was arguably the first person who Bakugou saw as an equal. Something I noticed about early Bakugou is that he either had a superiority complex or a inferiority complex with someone, and there was really no in between lol. That was, until Kirishima. Who came in as someone who neither above or below him. While Kirishima doesn't take any of Bakugou's shit, he also doesn't treat Bakugou like just a jerk.
This is of course, showcased best in the iconic Bakugou rescue scene.
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This scene was honestly just such a good show of their bond, and how Bakugou sees Kirishima. Because as Deku pointed out, Bakugou wouldn't have taken anyone else's hand. We know this for a fact, as this was the same man who would've rather been kidnapped by villains then accept Deku's help-
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So yeah. I fully believe if it was anyone other than Kirishima to reach out a hand to him, he would've straight up ignored them and would've tried to fight the villains himself. (Death is one thing but his ego is another apparently-).
It would be ignorant of me to say that Kirishima was the only one who understood Bakugou, because that's just not the case. Because as we saw multiple times throughout the series, Deku (as previously stated) understands Bakugou very well from the very beginning. However, while this opens up the gateway for a reconciliation with Bakugou in the future, Bakugou's complex feelings about Deku make it impossible for them to form a relationship based on that. Kirishima came in as a breath of fresh air, in which there was no lingering resentment or complexity involved. And of course, later in the series, we see the other members of class A understand Bakugou on that level as well. But in the beginning at least, Kirishima was the only person he could sort build that bridge of understanding with.
And even if it's never stated explicitly, I truly believe Bakugou wouldn't have opened up to relationships with his other classmates if it weren't for Kirishima befriending him. Or at the very least, it would've taken him a lot longer.
And the we have to take into accountability of how much their friendship has helped KIRISHIMA develop as a a character. As we can see, from the very beginning, Kirishima has a bad habit of comparing his quirk to the others of their class.
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This isn't his fault necessarily, as in their society it's probably drilled into your head from a young age that you can only be a good hero if you have a flashy quirk.
And because of this, rather than looking at his own strength, he pays a lot of attention to how he compares to others.
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So clearly, he's hard on himself and has a lot of self-esteem issues. (I am him. He is me-)
And it's clear he looks up to Bakugou a lot from just...Bakugou being Bakugou. Bakugou's a very forward person who jumps in without thinking (for better or worse), which is almost everything Kirishima wants to be. I honestly think that might've been- at least partially- what drew Kirishima to Bakugou. He wanted to be more like him, even if he wouldn't admit to himself. He, in a way, was putting Bakugou on a pedestal, even if he didn't realize that Bakugou sees him as an equal.
But then, Bakugou tells him this:
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Which in the end, pushes Kirishima to reach his full potential, which came in form of unbreakable. Bakugou, who was originally someone he looked up to and admired, eventually became his motivation. His drive, even. And it wasn't just Bakugou, obviously, but Bakugou still contributed a lot.
And after all this, their friendship gets pushed to the side so we can focus on Bakugou and Deku's reconciliation. Which isn't bad! I love Bakugou and Deku's friendship as well! And I will say it holds a lot more importance to the plot of the story, and it wasn't necessarily a requirement to have Bakugou and Kirishima's relationship showcased more.
But still, I feel as though one could assume that once Bakugou got his character development from Kirishima, he didn't need anymore. Like he was just a stepping stone in order to reach his redemption with Deku. Which is just a sad way to look at their relationship :( and I truthfully believe that that just isn't the case. We did get a few crumbs, but even then we never got to see them talk one-one as friends after a while.
This isn't supposed to be Kiribaku propaganda or anything like that, and some of this will probably fall into headcanon territory and is just my interpretation of their characters. This also isn't me saying that their relationship is more important than Bakugou and Deku's, or Kirishima and Mina's, this is just more of a vent on how I would've liked to see more of their friendship.
Edit: just wanted to put this here as well
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(From mha ultra analysis)
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p0orbaby · 3 months ago
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Slow Motion Mountain Climber
summary: leah signs up for pilates, what could go wrong?
warnings: none
a/n: based on this request !
word count: 981
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Leah texts you on a Tuesday morning, right before your alarm, like she does whenever something has gone terribly wrong in her life. Like when she found out gluten was in soy sauce, or when she discovered she might have to use that godforsaken 6 train in New York. This time, it's a message that reads: Just signed up for Pilates. You may never see me again.
You roll your eyes, groaning at the incoming rant that's sure to follow. Leah's the kind of person who only does new things for one of two reasons: someone dared her, or she's trying to prove to herself that she is still young and can get away with eating three chocolate croissants in a single sitting. You suspect it’s a combination of both. She’s mentioned something about trying to build a "strong core," which you assume is code for "I'm slowly being bullied into this by the fact that all my teammates have six-packs and I have a soft spot for bread."
At 7:45 AM, just as you’re pouring coffee, Leah calls. You pick up on the third ring because you’re not a monster.
“I’m going to die,” she says, without so much as a hello
“Bold start to the day,” you reply. “Anything specific, or is it just a general feeling?”
“Pilates,” she says, and it sounds like a curse word. “Do you know what that is?”
You almost spit out your coffee because, yes, you know what Pilates is. You’re not sure what’s more shocking: that Leah doesn’t know or that she actually followed through on signing up.
“Yeah, Leah, I know what Pilates is”
“Well, it’s hell. No one told me it was this hard. And the instructor—she’s, like, smiling at me while she’s killing me. How are you supposed to trust someone who's trying to make you do something called a 'teaser' while she grins like a lunatic?”
You can picture it now. Leah, in the middle of a room full of people who've been doing this since their nannies signed them up for ballet at age three, contorting herself on a reformer like it’s some kind of medieval torture device. Meanwhile, the instructor—probably named something like Tiffani with an 'i'—is telling her to “engage her core,” as if Leah didn’t already have a job that required her to do that for 90 minutes straight, several times a week.
“Did you die, though?”
“Almost. My legs were shaking. My abs—I didn’t even know I had abs. Why does anyone do this willingly? I’ve literally been fouled by Fran Kirby, and that was less painful”
“Maybe you should stick to yoga”
“Yoga!” Leah scoffs. “I can do yoga. That’s just stretching and pretending you’re one with the universe or whatever”
You let her have that one because there’s no use arguing with someone who once mistook a meditation class for an excuse to nap in public.
Leah continues, “This class, though—it's not natural. They make you put your legs in straps. Straps! Like a harness, but for your feet. And then they expect you to lift them while you're suspended in the air like some sort of flying squirrel”
You’ve taken Pilates before, so you know exactly what she’s talking about, but you can’t help but laugh. Leah, in her infinite wisdom, probably signed up for the most advanced class because, as she said once, “Go big or go home.” Now, she’s paying for it.
“Maybe you should ask to start in a beginner class,” you suggest, knowing full well she won’t.
“Yeah, no. I already told them I’m an athlete. Can’t back down now. But I swear, if one more person tells me to ‘breathe through it,’ I’m going to punch them in the face”
You imagine the looks on the faces of her Pilates classmates as she throws a fit in the middle of a serene, candle-lit studio. You’ve seen Leah frustrated before, but this is a new level of agitation, and it’s all directed at something she willingly signed up for.
“Maybe it’s good for you,” you offer, “builds character”
“Yeah, and scars. On my pride”
You laugh again because you can see where this is going. Leah, who tackles challenges like they’re personal vendettas, is going to keep going back to that class until she can hold a plank longer than anyone else, even if it kills her. Or, more likely, until she finds something else to distract her, like knitting or extreme ironing.
"I’m just saying," she adds, after a pause, "if I end up with a six-pack, it’s because I earned it. None of this ‘strong core’ bullshit. I want abs of steel. Like, I want to be able to crack a walnut between my ribs”
You’re crying with laughter now, imagining Leah doing sit-ups in front of a mirror at home, testing her progress with various hard-shelled nuts.
“Don’t worry, babe,” you say, trying to calm yourself down. “If you do get abs of steel, I’ll make sure to bring walnuts everywhere we go”
“Good,” she replies, and you can hear her finally start to laugh along with you. “You’re on walnut duty. And if this all goes horribly wrong and I never make it out of Pilates alive, just know it was the straps that did me in”
You shake your head, still smiling. “You’ll be fine. But maybe next time, start with a class that doesn’t sound like it was designed by someone who secretly hates people”
Leah sighs dramatically. “Noted. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to spend the rest of the day lying flat on the floor and cursing Joseph Pilates”
“You do that, babe,” you say, hanging up as you imagine her sprawled out on the carpet, texting you updates about how her muscles are rebelling against her. And you can’t wait to read every single one.
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p1utofairy · 1 year ago
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PAC: your upcoming relationship 🎀🫧🎆
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pile 1 🧸 —
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ok so i immediately heard let the light in by lana del rey ft. father john misty! this is a very passionate relationship pile 1 wow. your person is very patient, attentive and willing to put you first no matter what. the dynamic will be similar to allie and noah's but minus the toxicity…there's a push and pull but just enough to keep each other engaged and entertained. i'm hearing a lot of witty playful banter, you grinning until your cheeks hurt and not being able to keep eye contact because they give you butterflies. i'm feeling some gemini influence in this pile hmmm communication will be really important between the 2 of you. i think you both are very similar when it comes to your interests and values but have a different approach to how you handle your feelings and express your emotions. you may be a bit more hesitant or resistant to sharing how you feel in hopes of keeping the peace but i feel like your person will encourage you to speak your mind instead of bottling it in. this goes for any scenerio as well, they want you to be able to step into your power and not dim your light for anyone or anything. your person could have prominent water/cancer/or 4h placements because they give nurturing vibes. i just heard "I JUST WANNA SEE YOU SHINE, CAUSE I KNOW YOU ARE A STARGIRL." you mean everything to them. even if you two were to have a disagreement, they'd probably be a bit moody at first but at the end of the day they'd want to talk it out and make up with you. (and i heard make it up to you) they'll never want you to go to bed angry at them or vice versa, this person is very mature and doesn't like to cut corners when it comes to their relationships. this person has an "all or nothing" type of mentality, when they commit themselves to you that's it. all they see you is pile 1, awww it's so sweet. you're gonna have lots of fun with this person.
pile 2 ⭐️ —
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love you like a brother, treat you like a friend, respect you like a lover. OOOO pile 2 your person is very suave, they know exactly what to say and when to say it. i feel like they light up every room that they walk in & could definitely charm the pants off of anyone. it might be hard to take them serious at first or you may question if they're serious about you because they seem to be very friendly or more experienced. but i'm hearing that you shouldn't judge a book by its cover, because although this person may give player vibes they’re actually a sweetheart at the core. i can see this person having a really bright smile, they'll love to make you laugh and put you in a good mood. you will bring a good balance to them, they need stability and you're exactly that. they're very confident and extroverted but deep down they feel like no one really sees them except for you. i'm hearing infrunami by steve lacy so maybe some of you already know this person. it honestly does give a good friends to lovers vibe. i can see you two texting a lot, going on little dates and having random/deep conversations about any and everything. maybe lots of discussions about movies? i'm hearing some of you really love cinema. i think you'll definitely see this person in a different light as you get to know them, compared to your first impression of them. it’s like when andie was putting ben through all those hoops until they went to visit his family in staten island…and once she saw him in his element/who he truly was at the core she realized her feelings for him. yeahhh this is super cute pile 2, i dig it.
pile 3 🍬 —
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heyyy pile 3, right off the bat i keep hearing the word CUTE. like maybe this is what people will think when they see you and your person together? you two are absolutely made for each other, i think your inner child will really come out when you're around this person. i can feel the excitement, the giddiness and anticipation you two will exude when you're in each other's presence. i heard "like a kid in a candy store" lol that's adorable. power trip by j. cole ft. miguel is playing…yeah it's very much THAT. i feel like you both will pinch yourselves thinking is this real??? your person is gonna make you feel like you're on cloud 9 hehe i see them getting you flowers, writing you cute little messages on sticky notes and gifting you thoughtful things that you may have mentioned in passing but didn't expect them to remember. i feel like you (and maybe even your person) have been waiting/yearning for a connection like this for very a long time, i get an almost lonely energy. like you've been single for a long time and now you feel whole/complete. the intimacy between you two >>> not even just sexually but intellectually and emotionally! you're gonna feel so safe and comfortable with them. your person is very sentimental and they will never take a moment shared with you for granted. i see polaroid/photobooth pics of you 2 being all close and cutesy :) this person might be a little lowkey/reserved in nature but you definitely bring them out of their shell. the scene where jenna says “arrivederci” and is so giddy when matty responds back with “au revoir” is coming to mind. AH y'all are gonna be so goneeeeee pile 3 i love it for you.
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omgsecretsecret · 2 months ago
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Sweet Fuckboy
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Pairing : Lee Minho x gn!reader (use of you/your pronouns) ; friends to ??
Genre : fluff ig ; hurt/comfort if you squint reallyyyyy hard
Word count : about 2,500
Warning : talking about sex ; HyunSung are a couple but honestly it's just barely mentioned twice (I'm just having fun so don't come after me for that please) ; no smut here but in the part 2 there will be (there will be two versions for afab and amab reader) ; cursing (fucking, bastard, bitch) ; english is not my first language
Author's note : idk this just popped in my head when I saw some My Pace era Minho pictures again ; the pics on top are not mine, credits to the owners ; lots of love to @giddyfatherchris who helped me a lot by proofreading this <3
Reminder : you are not “a baby” if you are a virgin, nor are you “a slut” if you are not
Masterlist || Part 2 afab ver & amab ver
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◍。⁠•⁠ ⁠ᵕ⁠ ⁠•⁠。◍
Minho is a fuckboy, and your closest friend. He is known for pretty much giving his dick to whoever asked him to fuck them. You know it’s exaggerated by the rumors and he does not actually fuck anybody, but it’s true that he isn't too hard to convince. It isn't bad though. People do not see him as a whore, he is seen as a boy who can help you out if you are in need of some.. relief.
You, on the other hand, have never slept with someone else. You have already tried some solo pleasure, of course, but you are a virgin. And you are tired of being one. You want to see what real sex is like.
This is how you ended up here, sitting in the school library, talking about it with your friend Hyunjin because to hell with taboos.
◍。⁠•⁠ ⁠ᵕ⁠ ⁠•⁠。◍
"You can ask Minho, no ?
— Yeah, I guess. But I don't want him to be awkward. you reply with an unhappy pout.
— Who says he will be ? We're talking about Minho here. He'll probably tease you a bit, but he's the sweetest and most understanding guy I know under his 'do not touch me i am not nice' act. He'll stop joking as soon as he sees it makes you uncomfortable and we both know how observant he is, he'll know if it bothers you in less than a second.
— I know. But what if he just doesn't want to ? And if he's too kind to say no ? It's not every day your best friend asks you to take their virginity.
— Sweetie, calm down. Once again, we're talking about Minho here. He's an honest guy, he'll tell you if he doesn't want to do it. He knows it'd do more bad than good to force himself to do it. And worst case scenario, it'll be a little bit awkward between you for a few days, but it'll be back to normal soon. You know him, it wouldn't change the way he sees you. Hyunjin reassures as he puts his hand on yours and gives you a fond look before chuckling. Besides, he'd be stupid to refuse !
— Yeah... You're right. Minho's amazing for that. But you say that like anyone would want to fuck me. It doesn't feel like it. you pout again, playing with his long fingers.
— Well, maybe I wouldn't, because I'm already in a happy relationship with Jisung. But it doesn't prevent me from admitting that you are hot, even though I say it without being attracted to you. Plus I wouldn't be your friend if you were a bitch. And it's always better to fuck someone with a good personality. he winks, trying to make you relax slightly and it actually works as you release the pressure in your shoulders and give him a small smile.
— Mmh.. I'll see if I ask him later. you say softly and shrug before squeezing his hand lightly as a sign for him to get up too. How about we go to the cafeteria grab some food now ?"
◍。⁠•⁠ ⁠ᵕ⁠ ⁠•⁠。◍
You leave the library and head to the cafeteria to eat with your friends, sitting next to Minho as usual. You talk normally, laughing to Felix's jokes and Seungmin’s fake gag at how lovely dovey Jisung and Hyunjin are being, until the latter started kicking your leg not so gently under the table. You roll your eyes at him, silently telling him to please stop doing that right fucking now before you throw your ratatouille on his oh so pretty and new white shirt. He immediately puts away his leg, not without glaring at you meaningfully. ‘you know I'm right’. You sigh and go back to eating while listening to the others.
It's only a little bit later though that you get the opportunity to actually talk with Minho when he turns to you discreetly and looks directly in your eyes. He seems to be feeling a mix of annoyance and concern as he puts his hand on your chair before speaking.
“Okay what’s up ? he doesn't beat around the bush when he asks you that, just being his usual honest self. You've been having a whole conversation with your eyes with Hyunjin for the past few minutes without even opening your mouth once. I would have let it be and thought it was none of my business if Hyunjin hadn't been looking at me so intensely while you were pouting, avoiding my face and just openly being unhappy. So I'm asking you. What’s up ?” he asks in a gentle and low voice despite the bluntness of his words, not wanting the boys to meddle in your business.
You sigh again. Great. Now you were going to have to tell him. He would know immediately if you lie, you didn't have a choice. You give Hyunjin a death glare. ‘thanks, bastard’. Why did he always have to be like that ?
“Look, Minmin I… Can we talk about it later ? After school we can go for a walk or I don't know. you don't even really look at his eyes as you speak, too embarrassed.
— Mmh… Sure, yeah.” he looks cautious, yet he nods and squeezes your shoulder lightly as a sign of reassurance.
He lets his arm rest wrapped around your shoulders for the rest of your lunch break, not even bothering to remove it. You're still slightly nervous, but he doesn't say anything about it, trying to not make you uncomfortable or self-conscious.
The rest of the day goes by like this. You're not really able to focus completely on your classes, a part of your mind constantly going back to the conversation you were going to have with Minho. ‘It's going to be sooo awkward if he says no’. Yet you try not to worry too much. As Hyunjin said, Minho is honest and (secretly not so secretly) very kind, so everything will be okay. With that, Minho spends the day being his caring self, even paying extra attention to not tease you too much as he senses your tension.
“Alright. This was the last class of the day. Where do you want to go to talk ? Minho looks at you patiently as you walk together.
— I don't really know, Minho. you mumble and he arches a brow in slight concern at your anxious tone.
— Okay, okay. What about we go to the grocery store to grab a little something to drink while we walk to my place ? We can pass by the park, it's always nice. he offers nicely as he looks at you fondly.
You let out a breath you didn't know you were holding and nod, giving him a small but genuine smile. You walk together peacefully, Minho complaining about random stuff to make you laugh and distract you. By the time you reach the grocery store, you're a lot more relaxed and confident about telling him.
“What do you want to drink ? he asks as he stops in front of the cold drinks section, hands on his hips.
— I think I'm just going to take a lollipop, don't worry. you shake your hand softly for him to let it go but all he does is tilting his head to look back at you with a raised eyebrow and you can't help but laugh at his position.
— You serious ? It's hot out there, you know.
— Yes, thank you. I’m not that stupid. you roll your eyes before staring at him in disbelief when you hear him mumble a ‘not so sure’ and run after your laughing best friend, chasing him until he can't run anymore.
— I was joking ! I was joking !” he pleads as you punch his shoulder more or less lightly, still laughing.
You just pout and punch him once more before smiling at him thankfully. You know he could just push you away but he lets you do that to make you feel better.
“Seriously though, are you sure you don't want anything to drink ? he asks when you finally stop.
— Yes, sir. you answer with a chuckle and he frowns, looking at you with squinty eyes for a moment before moving.
— We’ll share a bottle of juice. he simply states. Which one do you want ?
— What ? No, Minho I–
— Let's go for this one then. he ignores you and grabs a small bottle before heading towards the store cash desk, making you sigh.
— Thank you.. you mumble and he doesn't say anything, yet you don't miss the way his lips curl up slightly.
— Here's your candy !” he says as he throws a lollipop of your favorite flavor at you.
You fight for a minute about who is going to pay until you find a nice compromise. On your way to the park before you go to Minho’s place, you forget to worry about asking him. You’re just comfortable with your best friend and it's all that matters.
“Minmin– you start but he cuts you off.
— Are you seriously going to call me like that again ? he groans.
— But it's cute ! I like it, and I'm sure that deep inside, a little part of you likes it too. And you let me call you that in the cafeteria !
— Because you looked nervous as hell. he gives you a stern look.
— You know what, whatever. I was going to ask if we could talk but forget it. you pout and turn around.
— Seriously ? Oh come on ! Do you want to talk here in the park or at my place ? he asks but you keep pouting for a second before speaking.
— Here.” you mumble as you sit on the nearest bench.
He settles next to you silently, watching you with a soft gaze as you take a deep breath. Although you're a lot calmer than earlier, you're still worried about telling him. But if you keep spiraling on that, you’ll never do it, so you cut your thoughts and begin.
“So…I don't know how to say this so I'll just ask like this, okay ? you pause, waiting for him to nod before continuing. You know that I'm.. y’know.. like.. I've never had sex... And hum.. well I-I don't want it to be like that anymore and I trust you and I know you and I know you're somewhat, like, hum… e-experienced..? So I was wondering if you could help me maybe ? you ramble in a shy voice, speaking more and more lowly with each word and by the time you're done your face is bright red.
— So you're asking me to be your first and take your virginity because I'm your best friend and I fuck regularly, right ? you look at him with wide eyes, his expression unreadable. How can he be so blunt ?
— … more or less yeah. you look down with embarrassment.
— Why did you not just say it like that ? I can't believe you were in such a state for this ! he bursts out laughing. Now I understand why Hyunjin was looking at you like that.
— It's embarrassing.. you hide your face in your hands.
— No, y/n. I’m actually very flattered, you know ? If you want me to do that, it means you trust me enough to show yourself to me without anything. And I'm really grateful for that. I’m glad my reputation can actually be useful. he smiles at you and rubs your back gently as you sigh in relief, slowly resting your head on his shoulder. But I understand why you were stressed about it.
— Yeah.. you whisper with a tiny smile, resting your head in the crook of his neck as you simply enjoy the moment. Everything feels so easy with him.
— So.. do you want to do it today ? We don't have to though if you want to wait a little. he offers softly after a small, comfortable silence. We can just start with some kissing, to see how it feels. he says before you can start panicking.
— You'd really do it, like, now ? you ask and he gives you a slightly annoyed, yet still soft, look. I-I mean… yeah, it'd be good. you blush slightly and he chuckles, ruffling your hair gently.
He doesn't reply, just carefully removes your head from his shoulder to make you look at him. He smiles sweetly as he looks at your red ears, eyes slightly widened in apprehension. He brushes a strand of hair out of your face and strokes your flushed cheek in a gentle, almost romantic gesture, before suddenly bursting out laughing. You immediately look at him with confusion, your whole body tense.
“If you're going to act this awkward we're never going to get through this. he laughs and you look down, embarrassed. It's okay. Just close your eyes and let me guide you, okay ? You trust me, don't you ?” you nod and he smiles softly.
You do as he says, closing your eyes and letting him do the rest. He carefully cups your jaw before leaning in closer and landing his mouth on yours gently. The kiss is soft and tender, and it’s so good. You melt into it as your hand instinctively reaches for his own. He takes his time, not rushing anything. He started slowly moving his lips, letting you get used to it and mirror his actions. When he pulled away and looked at you, your eyes were already opened and shining, a grin forming on your face.
“I guess you liked it. he chuckles again as you nod eagerly.
— It was so sweet ! I didn't know you were such a great kisser. And I didn't think it would feel so nice. you squeeze his hand still in yours and he looks at you fondly. You are so cute.
— So what ? Were you expecting me to be a bad kisser ? he teases.
— No ! It's not what I meant. you roll your eyes. Is it okay if I want another one ? you ask somewhat shyly.
— Sure.”
He kisses you again and it's just as good. There's still no rush, no pressure. It's just full of the tenderness and affection Minho has always had for you as your best friend. You keep going like that, kissing again and again with the same softness until you naturally move to straddle his lap carefully, arms wrapped around his neck to continue to kiss him softly again and again. It's so nice, and you feel him smile against your lips.
“I think we should maybe continue like that at my place, love. Unless you want to do it another day. It’d absolutely be okay.” he whispers when he pulls away, resting his hands on your hips and looking at you patiently.
You're a bit embarrassed at first when you notice the way you're sitting on his thighs facing him. You didn't think you were that close to him when you first moved to settle there. But you quickly forget about it, deciding it doesn't matter and you can just trust Minho.
“I think… it's a good idea.” you reply with a somewhat shy smile.
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Part 2 coming more or less soon ~
do not repost, translate or rewrite without my written authorisation
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