#i'm posting this here because you will see my dumb idea abnormality. you will.

[alphabetcrashcourse]

AOT Live Text Reaction

I've decided to post a live text reaction to AOT now that I'm watching it after it finished releasing. Up to episode six, here are my thoughts so far:

Everyone in this show apart from the main characters is really, really dumb. You are being actively hunted by immortal zombies you know NOTHING about. Sure you have your Big Wall-onii san to protect you, but you also have a growing population and dwindling resources. There is no excuse to sit on your hands for a hundred years. You don't even have to fight the monsters! Just go out there and study them! Invest in being FAST! In running AWAY!

Idk what on earth happened a hundred yeara ago, but my bet is that these idiots in charge somehow caused it and most definitely deserve whatever's coming to them.

Eren: He gives me weird vibes, like he's constantly angry or on edge. He seems more desperate than the average protagonist. Not even after his mom being nommed, (which was horrifying by the way, that kinda trauma CAN turn a kid into a sociopath- Eren turned out okay, all things considered.) But before that as well, he was running around trying ro make everyone see reason at age like ten, and HE was treated as the weird one.

Also he doesn't smile much, like I could count on one hand how many times he smiled in episode 5.

Mikasa: Honey. Get a new goal in life, he's not interested. Like I get that it's probably not strictly romantic interest on her part, he's the only family she has left so of COURSE she wants to protect him. That being said Eren does NOT feel the same. Hell, I'm getting the vibe that the only reason he listens to her is because she's stronger than him. Also she seem's to be the studio's favourite. All her scenes are more fluid and detailed.

I want her to grow to have more goals and interests.

Armin: He's ypur typical 3rd cowardly character. The show keeps insisting he's smart but the bar for these characters is low so my hopes aren't high. Like an example of him being smart was the curiosity to SEE OUTSIDE. And somehow that was a novel idea. But he does this weird sense of pride that comes from seemingly nowhere, it makes him interesting.

I want him to stop being a coward. But NOT in a self-sacrificial way.

ONTO THE REACTION!

Op still slaps.

I like the part where they all jump up together, and that Jaeger means hunter and is Eren's last name.

Oh so Eren is just dead. Congrats Armin on becoming the new main character! Ha. Good luck.

LESBIANS! This show has lesbians! Is this confirmed or is it just anime being anime?

See, this is the weird pride I was talking about.

Hate the wagon guy.

WHY IS THAT TITAN SO FAST?!?!

Oh Mikasa great! Kill this guy.

She seems so proud of herself for helping the citizens. Maybe fulfilling her dury will beco.e her new ambition and she'll get over Eren. Hopefully that arcs happens fast, before she finds out he's dead...

Mikasa backstory? Maybe SHE'S our new protagonist

Oh yeah what did happen to Eren's dad- OH DAMN HER PARENTS DEAD!

Look here, this is what I mean. This is not the face a normal 10yo kid would make, like this is an abnormal situation but an ordinary kid would NOT react like that.

Oriental? So is this a magical kidnapping or a racist kidnapping? Just trying to figure out what to be angry about.

Oh damn Mikasa's mum is UNHINGED!

Oh so baby Eren is psychopath CONFIRMED.

Awww, Mikasa has her mum's crazy~

The scarf!! From the ending!!

Okay yeah they're cute, I see the ship. But at the same time this pivotal moment in Mikasa's life was originally motivated by anger, desperation and finally pity on Eren's end.

Oh yeah Eren's still dead.

And that's the episode!

SO glad I didn't get too attached to Mikasa. You aren't gonna get me that easily show!

[donnerpartyofone]

I encourage you to ignore this long and boring post, I'm just venting because I'm embarrassed and typing is my therapy.

I laughed along with everybody else when Staff threatened to make a bunch of dumb changes on the flimsy excuse that Tumblr is too hard to figure out how to use. It definitely isn't, and also the social rules are pretty obvious, it's like pretty biblical actually: Don't harass people, don't steal shit, don't post anything illegal. You know, don't be an asshole. The formal terms of use are not obscure, and Tumblr enforces them dysfunctionally or not at all--the worst part is their own inconsistency, but nothing about the framework is hard to grasp. And as a person of the computer age I tend to think that most platforms designed for general use are pretty easy to figure out just from trying the functions to see what they do; anything that's too mysterious or requires too much specialization doesn't survive outside of niche environments. And yet sometimes I feel like I don't get Reddit at all. It makes me feel like an ancient mummy.

I do try to look at the rules, and I also make a habit of observing other people's behavior. When I want to post something, I usually search the sub to see if that thing has come up before, and look at how people talk about it (or just see if my question has been answered already). From what I can see a lot of people don't bother to do this even though it's encouraged, so I'd *think* that I'm basically setting myself up to succeed here--but I still find myself committing some sort of infraction now and then without having any idea what I was doing.

EXAMPLE: I join a pretty general sub for a hobby I'm part of. The rules sidebar seems to say that I have enough karma to post there. I make my first post, and immediately get dinged for having the wrong proportion of comment karma to post karma. This score breakdown does not display in my profile, and to view it I have to dig an obscure link out of Google, which I was not able to find anywhere within Reddit.

Sometimes I just don't get the style of communication going on in a sub (just like real life). It's not even a matter of niche vocabulary or clique-iness, it's just...something about the rhythm and tone of expression that escapes me. Or there's a subtext to seemingly normal stuff that isn't obvious to me. People in the subs I participate in are pretty pleasant and helpful, I'm not running into toxic assholes, there's just some THING I don't get. Which is ironic because I'm spending a lot of time in the subs for people who stereotypically do not grasp social cues.

EXAMPLE: In the Autism With ADHD sub (yes hi hello!), I search for posts about aphantasia, and I see kind of a lot! I'm excited about this, because I have an extremely difficult time visualizing anything and I only found out recently that this is statistically abnormal. I was curious to see if I could aggregate the kinds of responses I saw in a poll, so I made a poll post with a little personal context that was like "GENERALLY SPEAKING do you think mostly in images, or mostly in words, or a balance of both?" And right away someone got really prickly with me about it. They seemed to think that I wasn't REALLY asking what people in a general population experienced; they seemed to think I was maliciously trying to paint all people with ADHD and ASD with the same brush, saying "There is no such thing as a neurodivergent brain." I tried to explain that I wasn't trying to railroad everyone into giving my favorite answer, and I thought my original post made that pretty clear, but oh well? Then someone else disputed both my definition of "aphantasia" and my definition of "thinking" (?!), and I couldn't get any clarity by discussing it with them, so I wound up bailing on that post entirely.

One thing about that experience became clear to me over time; there's a political problem with the term "neurodivergence". I had no idea that this was going on. I thought it was a handy way to generalize about a certain spectrum of atypical cognitive functioning, which is otherwise a mouthful to discuss casually and coherently. But apparently this term is associated with a Movement that is characterized by toxic positivity (I think! Maybe!); basically it's the dangerous opposite of treating ASD like a disease to be stamped out through conversion therapy (shudder), where you characterize it as a beautiful "superpower" with no drawbacks or need for treatment and care. This was not at all obvious to me until I broke the rules.

EXAMPLE: I made a post in an autism sub where I used the term "neurodivergent". I actually wasn't even making any claims about neurodivergence as a thing, I was just referring to "the neurodivergence discourse" (somewhat critically, actually), but I immediately got dinged for it in this kind of grave language like I was participating in some sort of subversive action. It was weird and it took me a long time to realize what the problem was, which is probably related to why the person got mad at me in the previous EXAMPLE.

I'm learning that there's just a lot paranoia, at least partially warranted, about people trying to frame "neurodivergent" individuals as one big monolithic thing, like we all have the exact same brain structure--and by extension, in some views, everyone with disorders from ADHD to chronic depression somehow all have the same mass neuro-atypical identity. This is hard for me because while I do not feel like I am melding into some sort of giant cool kids club (nor would I want to), I know I'm still Me and that the only thing we all have in common is a diagnosis of some variety, there are still things that can unite SOME of us in a certain understanding that we don't get from the neurotypicals. There are quirks of mine that I'm just beginning to understand are at-least-anecdotally connected to my recent diagnoses. Things that I know connect SOME, though not ALL of us, and I want to talk to the SOME! But this sets off alarms for a lot of people.

EXAMPLE: I have always had a problem with coffee. I love it, but it makes me sleepy, which is totally mysterious. But, since I got on Concerta, coffee suddenly works! It's like fucking rocket fuel! I have to be careful with it! So naturally I looked this up and found that SOME, not all but SOME people with ADHD report that caffeine is somniferous to them. There does seem to be some chemical justification for this, and though it is not well understood, it is a common enough complaint to be featured on the clinical websites I spent half an hour looking at. Then I moved over to the ADHD subs and spent a little while looking at how people have talked about this, and wouldn't you know it, there is a healthy history of discussion about it. So I blithely made my own post to the tune of "Coffee used to knock me out, but now that I'm medicated it wakes me up! I've been reading about it and I guess that's true for some portion of us, isn't that cool etc"--and I was immediately dinged by a mod with their medical qualifications on display who cited a specific rule that I broke about making uninformed evaluations about drug functioning, and insisted that there is NO correlation between ADHD and adverse caffeine effects. And I mean I wanted to cite the many existing conversations about this in the sub, plus the clinical websites I had just been looking at, plus the language of my post about how this appears to just apply to SOME of us...but the whole thing was too weird and not the hill to die on and I just deleted it.

The main ADHD sub is really funny because it seems to me to have the MOST rules. Rules about tagging and formatting and character count and words per paragraph and topicality and like...just more rules than anything else I've participated in so far. Which is hilarious to me, because if you don't think people with ADHD are prone to rambling, run-on, digressive statements, then like, what planet are you on?? I get that the rules should make reading easier for people with ADHD, but also how can you expect people with ADHD to read and retain and adhere to all these stringent regulations when they are writing? If you're able to do that, you might just NOT have ADHD!

Anyway. Most of my Reddit experiences have been genuinely positive, informative, helpful, and fun. I stick to the subs that are both relevant to me and that have a good vibe, and I'm definitely not sorry I'm there. But man, it is confusing sometimes. The website that I expected to be the most general-audience is actually the most cryptic and trap-laden of all the sites I've used.

Signed, Claire "I Will Never Leave Tumblr" Donner

Look I realize I'm kind of an idiot, but honestly WHAT is the difference between Best and Hot and Top, these are NOT good differentiators, how has Reddit taken the Chronological vs Best Stuff First dichotomy and made it even more complicated? Why?

I mean I'm sure if you're a native Redditor this language makes sense, but as an outlander it just reminds me of a brief period on Tumblr where if you had a draft open and tried to close it, it gave you the confusing options of "Cancel" and "Never Mind".

[cult-of-the-gundead]

A Digger/Fallen Heaven Knight 

"When does a gift becomes a curse to yourself or all?" 

O-01-574

E-Boxes: 32 

Attack Type: 5-8 Black 

Risk Level: ALEPH 

This Abnormality is Capable of Breach 

Good Mood Range: 25-32 

Normal Mood Range: 11 - 24 

Bad Mood Range: 0 - 10 

Qliphoth Counter: 2

Basic Information costs 30 PE Boxes

True Name revealed at observation level 4

A cloaked elderly man holding a drill spear, with a slight green pulse around the spear tip and his face, which turns red when his Qliphoth Counter is at 1. While breaching, he is encased in a drill shaped spiral of energy and turns into a black and red mecha with drills for lower arms and red flames coming from his shoulders, and then leaves his containment chamber to rampage. 

Work Favors: (each one costs 10 PE Boxes)  

Instinct: low, low, low, normal, normal, 

Insight: very low, very low, low, normal, normal, 

Attachment: low, low, normal, normal, normal 

Repression: very low, very low, very low, very low, low 

Managerial Tips: (each one costs 8 PE Boxes) 

When the work result was bad, Qliphoth Counter was decreased with a normal chance. 

If an Employee panics or dies in containment, Qliphoth Counter was decreased with a high chance. 

Employees with 5 justice panicked upon entering containment, along with employees with below 3 prudence or fortitude. 

[Warning] If an Employee with the EGO gift of this abnormality dies, this abnormality will fall into despair and breach containment. 

Escape Notes (cost 30 PE Boxes)

Below average movement speed, high hp. 

Deals high black damage by spinning his drill arms into an employee, which then does lower and lower damage in rapid succession 1-5 times. Pierces 

Occasionally shoots a ranged average white damage laser via pointing a drill. Pierces

One of his attacks activates when he enters a hallway. He charges for a bit, then dashes across it, dealing very high black damage. After resting for a bit, he continues his rampage.

Will teleport if he kills all Agents and Clerks in a department, or if they’re all moved out. If you call in the Rabbit Team, he will be distracted by them.

Makes faint crying and screaming noises while breaching.

0.2 red, 1.1 white, 0.4 black, 0.8 pale 

Flavor text 

Fallen Heaven Knight looks down at [name] with a face of longing. 

Fallen Heaven Knight calls out to his brother. 

[name] feels a bubbling sense of guilt for Fallen Heaven Knight 

The war did nothing good for his mind. 

"Why must all die, it's not right…" 

The glow from Fallen Heaven Knight is similar to Enkephalin, but much stronger, with less known about it,

When Employee [name] entered the containment unit, Fallen Heaven Knight gasped, thinking someone he lost returned from the dead.

Ego set: Heaven Breaking

"The man did the impossible, and yet, he failed to heal himself after everyone left. He refused to bring anyone back, due to fear of destruction, but his mind broke over time. Maybe it was for the best he choose to come here" ~ Description of both pieces of equipment.

Weapon: His spear. Medium range, fast, 8-12 black damage, sometimes lets the employee shoot a 5-10 white damage laser. If the employee has the ego gift as well, will also let them do the spinning attack but weaker. Both attacks pierce. Unlocked at level 4, 1 max, 200 cost.  Requires level 5 Temperance and Justice

Suit: black armor with red plating around the lower arms and legs, groin and small black shoulder flames. Also has bright green spirally markings and a smaller grayish face marking around the chest. 0.4 red, 0.9 white, 0.5 black, 0.7 pale. Unlocked at level 4, 2 max, 190 cost.  Requires level 5 Temperance and Justice

Gift: unlocked at level 2: a pair of bright red pointed sunglasses, with a star shape at one of the points. Eye. HP and SP +6, movement and attack speed +6. Work Speed -4, +3% success chance when working with him. 3% chance to get.

Story 

 A elderly man, wielding a strange spear. His eyes are black, but if you look closely you can catch glimpses of an emerald green spiral shape glinting in them. He towers above any employee and seems to radiate a strange aura, which makes those before him fearful.  

By his own choice and will, he let himself come to Lobotomy, thinking that he deserved some form of place to hide from his past and forget, unaware of its purpose. 

Recording of a work with this abnormality: Employee J7301 (Referred to from now on as "J"): G-Good afternoon, sir. Digger: *slowly rises, looking down at J". J: I-I'm just here to do some work, s-so t-t-tell me, what was life like? (pleasedon'thurtmeiwanttolive) Digger: Do not panic, it is my wish to see all live. *he takes a step forward* J: Get away from me, monster! *she fires at him* D-Die! Digger: Please... no more... Employee J then ran away from him in a panic, causing him to grow rather worried, his emerald glow turning red. 

After several conversations with him, we have learned that he used to be a grand warrior long ago, and had fought to save the galaxy alongside his friends with his great powers, which let him control reality and let him have the gift of immortality. 

When he won, he and his lover went to marry a week later, only for her to fall down dead. He knew there was a way to save her, for he tried to save his long gone brother, but would it be worth the risk of them being a soulless, emotionless husk, whose mere existence brought forth damage to the galaxy? 

Years passed, and he lived on as an elderly figure of mystery, helping out and avoiding violence, as his other friends died, eventually leaving him all alone and haunted by memories of the past deaths, and the one who started the cycle of death, his elder brother who loved him dearly. 

One night, he returned to his grave and stole his old sunglasses, in hopes to stop the memories of the dead, but they only got worse. 

After all, when does a gift becomes a curse to yourself or all? 

He protected anyone who reminded him of his brother, and if they got severely hurt, he would kill countless in a blind rage, in the form of a mechanical being. His mind whittled down to a paranoid mess, and when he was discovered, he let himself be taken to Lobotomy Corporation, in hopes that there would be no more bloodshed, but he was unaware of the darkness deep inside of it. 

My Notes 

So this abnormality was… very clearly based on Simon from Gurren Lagann. I have slight enjoyment for it, but I can hardly sit through things and it has... that design... so I can't watch it (Kamina is a comfort character for me though). 

I tried my hardest to make it as separate from it as possible, and I think I did okay, even though I made this on impulse. Also this was fun as hell to do, I should make fan abnormalities more often. If you want better images of his forms, just ask.

8/11/2019 EDIT: Decided to edit some things, change the gift a little, etc... not too much, but I feel kind of satisfied with it now.

[haleigh-sloth]

I'll take the bait. How is rei's hospitalization not supposed to be something that helped her? The reason she was put there was crazy sure (the one that needed some hospitalization was always endvr) but its not like her kids forgot about her in the end. Also I believe the long time she was there was just for narrative purposes because hrks wanted her to be away.

Sorry I was gonna get around to posting it, I was tired yesterday lol.

I understand it's shown that she got better there. But I don't think enough people understand that 10 years being locked up in an institution is very fucking abnormal.

There is NO type of psychotic break or mental health break down that should lock you up for a fucking decade, unless it resulted in something serious like someone's death. And there is a reason that there is a shift from hiding people away to shifting them back into their community as soon as possible in several countries (not just the US), OR keeping them out of the hospital in the first place with research based protocols. Rei shouldn't have been separated from Shouto for 10 years. That is insane. That literally will make any parent more ill. Every mental health model you read up on will have an emphasis on a support system which usually consists of friends and family.

Endeavor put Rei in a hospital to get her out of his way, not because he gave a shit about her wellbeing.

Idk if Caleb put a twist on this or not, but it doesn't matter because the obvious tone here is "Oh, I got rid of her, she was getting in my way." Not positive. Then:

This is not a happy picture. I mean hopeful yes, but Shouto saying "I'll save her" while she's sitting in this small ass room, alone, staring out a window? I mean this is not...good. TEN YEARS???? I just cannot fucking fathom anyone justifying keeping someone (especially with Rei's circumstances) there that damn long. Holy shit.

And I mean, this isn't even a cultural debate. This is straight up not good for a person's wellbeing, to be separated from the real world, including your damn children only to have to wait for your older kids to decide to come visit you--and only when the hospital will allow it-- for ten years. But if we're gonna talk cultural, look up Japan's average psych bed ratio in comparison to other countries. Their reputation is not great lol. And I've seen plenty of commentary saying Rei's character kinda represents Japan's poor mental health care. It's just commentary so it's not fact or anything, but it's interesting I'm not the only one who thinks this about Rei, and I wouldn't be surprised if that was the intention.

BUT, anyway honestly the reason I said that is because I see a lot of "I hope the villains get what Rei got 🥺". And I hate it. Because...she was locked up. Away from her family, no freedom.

Like if the manga is going to go for a "I'll save them no matter what" ending, then why end it by putting them in a place where Shouto felt like he needed to save his mom from?

Also...I mean please. This is shonen, it's a fantasy. We don't have to stick to realistic irl answers to shit. Jail is just stupid, but the hospital ending is even dumber imo. Especially if we're talking ten years like Rei--who was put away by her husband for the purpose of keeping her away from his children.

I mean, let's say we stick as close to realistic as possible without going the jail route--hospitals aren't therapeutic, that's not a healing setting. Mental health care is a community action and the idea is to get people back home with their support systems as quickly as possible. AND! If that's the case then damn, at least show ALL of the UA kids getting their damn counseling sessions too since they've been in two wars? And seen dead bodies of their loved ones? I mean, go all the way with it. But! I have 0% expectations of that happening. So...it's STILL dumb.

Just, I'd rather Horikoshi just go balls to the wall with the fantastical power of love and friendship and acceptance ending. Personally I have no desire to see Tomura or Touya or Toga or anybody end their story in a freaking hospital bed. Just, why. Give them hugs, hold their hands, and send them on their merry, unrealistically sappy way.

[jacine-the-queen]

There's 0 evidence to support that transitioning young has a negative effect. Puberty blockers have been proven to be safe since they were invented and used long before trans people came into the public eye for kids who start puberty at ages as young as 8/9. Having to start your transition later in life doesn't determine whether or not you'll "pass" as a specific gender. Since all perceptions of gender are individual. What features you see as a woman I might associate with androgyny and thus not make an assumption. I started at 19 and regardless of your biased opinion, I pass, no one refers to me as sir in physical interactions and never assume I'm trans.

"taking this as an adult changes it a little bit"

Bitch, no, you have no idea the effect estrogen or testosterone have. You literally have to look at any year or two year on hrt challenges in a trans tag and you'll see immense differences.

By the definition of WebMD, yes I am classified as an adult human female. And this literally goes back to my point as saying a defining factor of a woman is their sex. If a woman is more than their sex, then having the descriptor trans attached to them in no way detracts from their validity as a woman.

They literally cannot test chromosomes or primary hormones of a skeleton, again they are making assumptions based off sizes, that image you posted literally doesn't prove a thing since those are "typical" structure. Not guaranteed.

Trans people, or as they were known back then, transsexuals were targeted...for being fucking transsexuals. They fought with gay right activists. They have always existed. And we will always be a part of the lgbt community.

Because there's no such thing as race dysphoria? You realize this is the same strawman argument of "oh I identify as an attack helicopter" its such a non argument its fucking pathetic.

"anyone can be labaled a terf", no any dumb fuck who uses terms likr TRA, Tims, Tifs and have gender critical in their bio are 100% a terf because guaranteed you don't see trans people as their gender identity and often fight against their rights and civil protections.

The Women’s Liberation Front is part of a long-running strain of feminism that rejects the existence of transgender identity. These fringe activists argue that advancements in transgender rights will come at the expense of women’s rights and threaten the safety and sanctity of women-only spaces. They say women are defined not by their gender identity, but by their biology and by having “survived girlhood.” sorry bitch you were saying? Here's an entire organization of terfs dedicated to fighting anything beneficial for trans people and have openly opposed Biden.

Yeah that lgb alliance on Twitter? Argued that it's not Homophobic to be against gay marriage. They are nothing more than a hate group who disguise their 'advocacy' for lgb rights through the attack on trans rights

"Nearly everyone in middle school biology learned that if you’ve got XX chromosomes, you’re a female; if you’ve got XY, you’re a male. This tired simplification is great for teaching the importance of chromosomes but betrays the true nature of biological sex. The popular belief that your sex arises only from your chromosomal makeup is wrong. The truth is, your biological sex isn’t carved in stone, but a living system with the potential for change.

Why? Because biological sex is far more complicated than XX or XY (or XXY, or just X). XX individuals could present with male gonads. XY individuals can have ovaries. How? Through a set of complex genetic signals that, in the course of a human’s development, begins with a small group of cells called the bipotential primordium and a gene called SRY.". Simón(e) D Sun a doctoral candidate in the Tsien Lab at New York University's Neuroscience Institute.

Intersex people are as common as people with green eyes or red hair. Not some abnormality. Maybe stop fucking dehumanizing them you piece of shit?? Not to mention scientists don't even see them as an abnormality and don't classify them as either male or female or some bastard child like "intersex male" or "intersex female"

Where the actual fuck did I say chromosomes go in 1s and 0s? Or even imply there's chromosome classifications as H, Z or D??

"Just because it's used as an excuse does not change the fact that intersex conditions are abnormal" WHAT YOU'RE SAYING IS LITERALLY ENABLING THAT EXCUSE AND CONTRIBUTES TO THE MUTLATION OF INTERSEX PEOPLE YOU ABSOLUTE DUMB FUCK

Jesus fucking christ, you terfs are literally such fucking science deniers and are so in bed with right wingers.

#LwiththeT