#i'm posting grades for my creative writing class and i'm over it

[jessahmewren]

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[circulars-reasoning]

Hi, I hope this ask isn’t too invasive…

You’ve mentioned before that you’re an English teacher, and I was wondering if you’d be willing to speak a bit on how you became one (education? certifications?) and what it’s like for you teaching while living with DID.

The reason I ask is, I’m a senior in high school and I’ll be going to college in the fall. I’m really worried because I have so many alters who all want different things for my life. But in general, I’m drawn to teaching and many of my alters are okay with the idea of pursuing this as a career - especially if I can teach English, which has always been my best subject (I’m in the US).

I’m really scared about entering the adult world, and want to be as prepared as possible for this shift. Hearing from a system who followed the career path I’m considering would be really amazing!

If this ask bothers you or if you’re not comfortable answering it, I totally understand. Thank you for your time and consideration!

- Freya

Hey!!! Sorry I missed this ask -- I hardly use this blog and actually plan on deleting it soon. Just need to get around to reblogging the important posts.

But this is an important one, and I really want to respond here, in the hopes that you'll see it.

I'm an English teacher for 6th grade in the US, and I can say that, without a doubt, college was harder than being a teacher is currently. Do not let your experiences in college stop you from your goal. The professors will not be kind to you, especially if you don't know what's happening to you.

I'm going to pop this under a cut because boy howdy I am rambling.

In terms of college and working to become a teacher with DID:

Firstly, and most importantly: Scheduling. You will need to be completely on top of scheduling out your few years of college. You don't need to be perfect, mind you, but please be aware of what classes are required and when you will take them. My college fucked me over on this. The reason it's so vital is because most education programs in the US are 5 year programs -- 4 years of college, and a 5th year of one semester of a "practicum" (an unpaid internship at a school). During your practicum, you're not supposed to take any extra classes. I was taking 3 classes on top of my practicum to stay under 5 years. Don't do this. Either bite the bullet and do that extra 5th year of schooling, or plan accordingly so you don't get stuck the same way I did.

Now that that's out of the way:

DID definitely impacted my ability to study for things. It really helped having someone else holding me accountable; my partner, my roommate for 3 of my 4 years of college, really helped me out and basically did the education degree alongside me in spirit. If you can, find someone else to help you study.

That someone else should not be a fellow education major. This is because almost all of them will drop out by the time you graduate. That's a sorry truth, unfortunately. In my Junior Literature class of 6 students in my junior year, only 3 moved on with their degree; in my senior year, I was the only one who moved on. This is because college is fucking grueling, and everyone dropped out, thinking teaching would be harder (I'll get to that).

Don't try to overcome your disorder in college. Don't try to heal or recover while going through classes. Try to survive. You do not need to focus on recovery immediately, and it is a BAD idea to pile that much on your shoulders while in college and while teaching. Try to maintain and survive as best as you can. Recovery is a process and it will work on its own as you go through.

You can absolutely bullshit your way through an English degree, easy. It's not hard. Especially if you start writing about fanfiction in Lit 101 -- or at least, in my experience, that got me far. If you know you'd good at English, I would highly recommend it, esp if you're good at School English.

For your other classes, you'll likely have to do gen ed credits. Be creative and have fun. To fulfill my math credits, I took programming and "mathematical excursions" (you do fun shit with math and learn to pay for a house -- it was incredible). To fulfill science credits, I took Astronomy as a night class and got to look through a telescope during a night class for an A. It was awesome. (Well, ok, that class sucked, but you get the point).

DON'T OVERSTACK YOUR CREDITS. I wouldn't go above 18 credits per semester. I usually did around 16, and the minimum we could do was 12. Don't go minimum, but do not overstack. Again, scheduling, don't overschedule yourself.

You'll take a form of practicum each year more than likely. This will be where you go to a school and teach for a bit, and then you'll go do homework about what you taught. In your first year or two, you won't be doing almost any of the teaching; you'll shadow a mentor teacher who will show you how to do the thing. This is honestly so beneficial, but...

TAKE NOTES. For fucks sake, the memory part of DID fucking destroyed me in college, and notes would improve everything. Take double notes, honestly -- physical notes while in the school, and digital notes once you get home.

GET ENOUGH SLEEP. DID leads to insomnia so frequently. Start trying to keep good sleeping habits now, because it WILL get worse as college goes on. Do NOT do what I did and try to survive on 3 hours of sleep a night. It is not sustainable and you will catch every single disease these kids transfer onto people, I swear to god.

The Dean of Students will actually help. A lot. Please go to them if you're struggling. If you can't go, then send someone you trust to advocate for you. In my senior year when everything was going to shit with my mentor teacher (she was a horrible woman) and the admin at school were shitty to me (again, a horrible woman in charge), my partner went to the Dean and advocated for me. That mentor teacher was forced to retire from the school the next year, and my admin had to extend my semester by 3 days to give me a better practicum with someone who could actually do their fucking job. Do not feel scared to advocate.

Please. Please, if you remember nothing, remember this: do not listen to your coworkers in your final practicum. Don't listen to what they say about you becoming a teacher. These people are jaded assholes who, in my experience, want nothing more than to bomb the school. I wish I was kidding, but genuinely, so many of them are horrifically jaded and don't want to be there, ESPECIALLY when your practicum starts (which almost always coincides with state testing schedules). Teaching is awesome, genuinely, so long as you enjoy it.

And lastly for the college aspect: It gets easier. It really does. College was absolute hell for me up through senior year. This was because not only was I doing full coursework (ouch), but I was also starting to really understand and process bits of my trauma (yikes) and I was still with my abusers (yikes). This makes it so, so much harder, in so many ways. And I still did it. And now, here I am to live and tell the tale, and now that I am a teacher?

This shit is so much more forgiving. I have slipped up so fucking much, but as long as you do your best and mean well, your bosses will fucking adore you. They desperately need warm bodies in the room to help make sure the kids don't set fire to each other, and you are certainly going to fit the job description if you give a single shit.

Be open about some of your issues, but not all. I'm very open at work that I suffer from a disorder that leads to amnesia, but I'm careful about how I do this. "I actually have an issue that leads to a lot of forgetfulness, so if it's possible that you could send me a reminder of that meeting, I'd appreciate it." That's all I needed, and now we have a group calendar and my coworker has forgiven me numerous times for missing something.

Your mistakes as a system are completely seen as just. Normal Ass Human Mistakes. Forgot a meeting? Happens to everyone. Broke down crying in front of the kids? Shit fam, the teacher across the hallway walked out last week, you're doing remarkably just because you stayed.

The kids can fuck you up. Genuinely. They WILL trigger you. You WILL get memories of your childhood and it WILL hurt. And you will get through them with patience, time, and understanding. It'll be okay. Please, work hard on reminding yourself that these kids are not actively malicious. They do not understand your perspective.

To that note, almost every single teacher I know has a therapist. It is not a shocker to be in therapy. Most teachers need it. If you don't have one, I highly recommend getting one, if just to bitch about your coworkers with someone who will nod and say, "You deserved better than that, you're right."

Most of teaching is paperwork and meetings. Like genuinely, it's kind of ridiculous. We have meetings every Monday and Thursday, with occasional meetings on Tuesday and Wednesday. It's a LOT of meetings, and everything needs documented.

Work life balance. Please have one. This is when you start working on not bringing work home.

MULTIPLE CHOICE QUIZZES ARE OKAY. GENUINELY. I was so firmly against them as a student in college -- "that doesn't test genuine knowledge!" Neither does school. Please save yourself the hours of grading and do a few multiple choice quizzes. In some counties the system you use will autograde them.

God I could talk about this for hours on end. I'm really genuinely happy to answer so many questions about this. If you want to know anything specific, feel free to ask. I'm also over on @circular-bircular and plan to use that as my main system blog, so you can ask me more questions there if you want.

You've got this. I am absolutely rooting for you.

[opabiniasarecool]

This was just a little story I've had in my head. Keep in mind: I have basically zero writing experience, sorry if it's noticeable :p. Other then that, enjoy :)

Vio sat by the open ledge, looking out to the rest of Hyrule under Death Moutain, letting the warm night time air help him think. It had been an interesting two (perhaps three? Vio was losing track) Pretending to betray the rest of the Colors and faking killing Green. All to get information from the enemy, who he was now developing a fondness for (maybe a little more then fondness, but Vio shoved that idea to the side for the time being.) Eventually he would have to kill Shadow. That was fact.

Vio was caught up in his tangled thoughts he hardly noticed Shadow had appeared behind. Vio yelped, turning around. Right. The reason Vio was out on the ledge in the first place. Shadow had somehow gotten drunk off of root beer (Vio really didn't know how, he speculated that dark world creatures had a different reaction to sugar the light world) Either way, Shadow didn't seem like the safest thing to be around sober, Vio had no intrest finding out what he was like drunk. Hence why he was outside.

Shadow took a seat on the ledge, next to Vio, swaying gently. It would've been a reality peaceful sight if Shadow wasn't making some sort of awful humming noise. It's pitches had no pattern, going from high to low randomly. It was also rather loud.

"Shadow? What are you doing?"

"Shhh, I'm singing" Shadow replied with a smile of sharp teeth, humming even louder.

Vio smiled warily, then continued back to his thoughts, but kept getting interrupted by Shadow's goddess awful "singing". This carried through for about an hour, Vio planning, and Shadow's hum interrupting Vios thoughts of plans.. Eventually Vio got up, heading to his sleeping area. Shadow followed him, the humming much quieter now. Vio glanced up at the stars, sending a silent prayer that the other three would be, at the very least, somewhat alright.

Three and a half years later

Four sat further back from the fire, smiling in the warm night. Wild had somehow gotten a hold of an ocarina (not Time's magical one, thank the three goddess.) and as now playing it purposely bad.

"Wild, I swear to Din, give me that thing" Twilight shouted over the off-key notes, trying to reach over and grab it from Wilds hands. Wild just ducked away and started playing it louder.

Four glanced over to the tree next to him. The shadow being cast by the fire light had it's ears covered. Four chuckled

"Not a fan of Wild's concert, are you?"

The silhouette shot him a shadows equivalent of a glare and shook its head.

"Hm, now you know how Vio felt when he had to put up with that little solo you gave him" Four responded, smirking.

Shadow simply mocked Four, pretending to talk with his hand.

Wild finally stopped once he could barely play a note from laughing to hard and Twilight had finally tackled him and was trying to yank the ocarina from his hands.

By that time, Shadow had stopped moving on his own, so Four assumed he went to wherever he'd go when he wasn't watching Four through his shadow on the ground.

Four took on final look at the scene and the stars up above, smiled, and began to set up his bed roll. Everyone was somewhat alright.

Rambling notes from me:

Like I said, this is pretty much my first experience at writing (aside from a creative writing class I took for a semester in 6th grade lol) So I probably messed some stuff up (I'm TERRIFIED of writing mischaraterization). If you have tips, I'm begging you, tell me them. Any who, I enjoyed writing this (I think) I saw a post where the idea of Shadow getting drunk off of root beer came from, and I thought it was silly, so I included it in my own story. Anyways, that's enough rambling. Here's some half baked doodles I made of it:

[animehideout]

Quick question, may I request? If not, just ignore this<3

💙Random recommended song💙

I already mentioned this in my latest post but anyway, I did an optional homework and got the best grade and in the beginning I felt lowly about my work but after getting the grade I felt so much better about it and myself too.

The problem is that lately I started to get into writing again but can't find the time suddenly. Aaaaand I wanted to kind of celebrate this (I mean that the teacher seemed to like my poem) even tho it isn't a big deal but feels like it and oh God I feel like a lil child :')

Sooo may I request a Magumi x reader fluff, where the reader and Megumi are just chilling together when the reader get a notification saying she got a good grade and they get so emotional that they try to hold back tears, but Megumi senses the sudden change and ask if they are alright? The reader trying the brush it off that "Oh it's nothing special or worth mentioning, just got the best grade on the optional homework we got. Can't believe the teacher liked my poem..." 'Poem-?' Megumi thinks as he heard the last words. He maybe didn't even have a clue that the reader was into poetry and/or that they wrote any, so by hearing this he wanted to read it, but overthinking a bit, he decided on not asking them, even though maybe he should have. But it's late, he waited till they fell asleep and then quietly got up from bed to go and look for their exercise book and read it. After he read it, he puts the book on the reader's desk or somewhere else, not minding to put it back to it's actual place because he plans on telling them his opinion, how much they likes it as well and je would be interested in seeing more of their work. Maybeeee the reader confesses that they've been into poetry for a time now and shows Megumi all of the poems they've written while telling Meg' why they like some of their poems and why they have a few problems with some, then there's Megumi reading them with intrest. Maybe Megumi having a soft spot for poetry IDK BUT NOW I JUST REALIZED THAT BY WRITING THIS REQUEST I COULD HAVE EASILY JUST WRITE THE FANFIC ALREADY TT My bad :')

Anyway, catching up with your lates Gojo posts soon!

-Megan🩵

Huggie :3🎀

Megumi Fushiguro X Poet /Artistic Reader

Synopsis: Megumi discovers his partner's talent in writing poems.

a/n: Thank you @megan016 for this request, also CONGRATS for getting the best grade, you did great sweetheart and I'm proud of you 💗. Also I can't wait to read more of your poems and the translated ver. Keep it up. I hope you like this little oneshot tho♡.

Check @megan016 poem here ( I liked it and I had to share it, you are so talented 💌 )

As the soft glow of the TV illuminated the room, you sat in your boyfriend's arms, Megumi. Engrossed in the movie that was displayed in front of you. The atmosphere was light, filled with soft hums as Megumi played with your hair. The rainy weather outside, added to the coziness.

Suddenly, you phone chimed with a notification. Curious, you picked it up, unlocking it to reveal a message from your school,

{ Dear Y/N, Congratulations, your poem received the best grade. We appreciate your hard work. }.

Your eyes scanned the words, a wave of joy and surprise washed over you even though it was an optional homework the fact that your poem that came from your creativity, that each line you wrote carried within it a deeper feeling and meaning got a proper appreciation from your teacher was able to bring you to happy tears.

Your heart swelled with happiness while clutching your phone tightly, Megumi sensed how your body tensed between his arms.

"Love, is everything okay?" he asked.

Realizing that you haven't told him yet about your passion for poetry, you tried to hide your excitement and brush it off,

"Oh, y-yes I'm fine! it's nothing, just my poem got the best grade in class! Can't believe my teacher actually liked it hehe.." you chuckled awkwardly, trying to act normal as if you weren't holding back your tears from how delighted and proud you were.

"Poem?!" Thought Megumi to himself "I didn't know she's into poetry"

"But yeah– it's nothing special, not a big deal tho, it was just an optional homework" you added bringing him back to reality

"Oh.. I see you did great love congrats" said Megumi kissing the top of your head.

He senses how you were avoiding talking about your poem, so he respected it and just congratulated you he was completely oblivious to the whirlwind of emotions you were suppressing he thought you really wasn't that excited. Deep down, Megumi couldn't brush away the curiosity that grew inside of him, he was interested in reading books, poems and articles so having a partner that happened to write poems excited him to the core.

As the night proceeded, you dozed off beside him. Closing your eyelids, swimming in Dreamland. Sleeping nice and sound, feeling protected with the warm presence of Megumi. He watched you as you slept next to him, smiling to himself as your whole hand cutely held his index finger. Your hand size difference has always brought a smile on his face.

Suddenly, his eyes widened when he remembered about the poem, his eyes scanned the room and finally fell on your exercise book that was innocently put on your desk. Too intrigued by the unexpected revelation of your poetic talent, he couldn't resist the urge to delve into your world of words.

Trying to not disturb your beauty slumber he tiptoed to your desk, gently opening the book , carefully flipping the pages until he found your poem of 14 stanzas.

He was too excited to read it, to read between the lines and analyze the deeper meaning it held. Line after line, he found himself utterly captivated by the beauty of your expressions, the smart choice of words, adjectives and the Poetic elegance that adorned your stanzas. It left him completely speechless, realizing that the love of his life is indeed talented and creative.

"And she said it's not a big deal??" he muttered to himself as his eyes shifted back on your sleeping figure.

He wanted to flip the pages to read more of your writings, to check your other copy books but he resisted that urge, respecting your privacy and deciding to wait till morning to ask you properly about your passion for poetry.

He laid down next to you, eager for tomorrow to discuss with you what now happened to be a mutual passion; while you were interested in writing poems, Megumi was interested in reading, them showing that both of you complete each other.

His arms pulled you closer to his body holding you,

"I'm proud of you my love" he said before dozing off.

As the morning light filtered through the curtains, your eyelids fluttered into consciousness. Megumi was already awake, laying on his back, one arm behind his head as his eyes were fixated on the ceiling. As he felt you shifting beside him his gaze turned to you, greeting you with a warm smile.

"Hey sleepyhead, want to tell me about those poems of yours? I had no idea you're poetic genius!!" he exclaimed softly,

You were still half awake, taken by surprise you quickly got into a sitting position,

"You read them??" you asked.

"Not all of them!! only that one in your exercise book! Now I know why it got the best grade" he said enthusiastically.

It was rare for you to see Megumi full of energy early in the morning, so you couldn't help but smile from how much he was interested in your poems. Encouraged by his genuine reaction you started to open up, confessing that you've been into poetry for a while now.

"So? want to show me the rest?" he asked.

Without saying anything, you jumped out of bed. The cold floor touching your bare feet sent shivers down your spine. You quickly grabbed your notebooks and ran back to bed, getting under the warm blanket next to Megumi again, you got closer to him.

"Here they are" you said with a smile.

Anticipating his reactions every time he read one of your poems, the way he read the lines you wrote with passion and care warmed your heart, as if what you write was meant for him to read. The curious expressions drawn on his face whenever he tried to guess the real meaning of your words made you giggle.

After reading most of your poems he engulfed you into a big hug,

"Those poems are amazing Y/n!! I can't wait for more from you. So tell me what inspires you the most? what is your motivation?" he asked too immersed to know more.

A blush painted your cheeks and with a shy smile you answered "Y-you! You do inspire some verses"

"Guess I'm a muse now" he teased playfully trying to hide the fact that he got shy as well.

"Exactly" you giggled.

"What are the difficulties you face while writing though?"

"Most of the time me trying to channel my feelings into words, sometimes certain feelings that I want to write about can't be described by simple words so that's quite a challenge and it takes a lot of effort or sometimes I struggle with motivation even though I do have a lot of accumulated ideas that are waiting to be written" you explained.

You spent the morning cuddled up in your soft bed, sharing ideas and soft random kisses every now and then, exchanging soft touches. Sitting between Megumi's legs as he held your notebooks and continued to loudly read the rest of your poems.

"I love this one Y/n !! Wait is it about us??"

Megumi was too happy to be in that specific moment with you; the moment that definitely inspired you to write another poem that will carry those feelings between both of you forever.

[animation-is-my-jam]

How do you think College would Go for becky's friend circle (plus the others in her age range)? I know you most explore about them in either High School and in adulthood ( like in your Fic and Fan children ). But I'm curious.

Hey thanks for the ask! This is a good one.

Yeah, you're very observant in how I don't really focus on that part of when I do Wordgirl time-skip stories, for example in my current fic I always allude to specific things in college but I haven't straight up wrote about them in college. To me, that's a nebulous 4 to 6 years of vagueness where anything could happen lmao, either for lazy plot reasons or to make some crazy headcanons/jokes out of it. But you know what, sure, I'll give some ideas about what i would do if I had to headcanon the Woodview kids in college:

Becky: I feel like her being an English major is a given with also some creative writing and linguistics pursuits thrown in there. Becky would probably let herself become way more loose in college because girl has been on the school grind for so long she kinda needs it. I could see her trying to be a more reckless party gal during those years (and she cringes at that as an adult). But she also strikes me as the person who would stay up all night to do every assignment as soon as she gets them because she fears procrastination. (Becky starts to see the appeal of coffee). Whether she's still Wordgirl or not, it depends, but I think she would either retire or take a break as Wordgirl when she starts college. For her sanitys sake. She would stay in dorms and probably have maybe Rose or Scoops as a roommate or heck, maybe someone random like Emma or Emily. But... of course, it's a Jam post, so tobecky has to be brought up (i will be put to death after this dw ^v^) After having a dorm roomie for some time, I can see her and Tobey moving into an apartment together during their later years so they don't have to be apart for too much (they go to different schools). But I also like to imagine a mutual tobecky break-up during college, so that's funny to think about. Bob isn't with her during college, "pets" aren't allowed in the dorms, and the college staff isn't buying that he could be a short 40 year-old hairy student, and he's left behind, unfortunately.

Scoops: Easy enough, I can see him attending the same college/university as Becky since they both focus on writing and more liberal arts pursuits. Scoops would be very excited in college due to a lot of things. However, that means also procrastinates and forgets the most out of the group. I can see him absolutely trying to take over the school's news network and campus life updates, but he would have to get through some of the older students. Also, Rose still being his rival if she also attends the same UN. His major is 100 percent journalism, but I can see him being such a photographer fanatic since he wants to capture this era of their lives. He is also probably in some internship program with a news company during college.

Violet: I like to think Violet would get hella art scholarship opportunities, and of course, she's majoring in Art. She's definitely not going to more liberal arts or public universities, so she's going to be away from her friends :( I can see her being the first one to travel abroad for her studies, she's the one who would do all sorts of adventures and write about them to Becky and the others. She will visit when she can, but she'll be busy somewhere in like Italy painting and making more friends than ever before. She's the free spirit of them and definitely has formed some eco-friendly clubs or yoga classes with some students.

Rex: Despite how I headcanon him to be TJ and Johnson's age. I have it that they skip grades to join the friend group in their college years. Rex would absolutely major in mathematics, but I feel like they would stay in university the longest to achieve almost everything that field has to offer so he can have a lot of titles like a doctor or professor. Heck, I can see them teaching some classes while still being a student, lol. I don't know if they would go to the same university as Becky, Scoops, and Rose--probably not. They seemed like they would go out of the city for an Ivy league type school in like a nearby state. He'll be alone a bit since he's still adjusting to making earth their permanent earth, but they'll get the hang of it with some new people to meet. (Would still be a superhero during college).

Tobey: Even though he had a chance to attend college much earlier than the others, he rejected it in order to just live life a bit more in high school before getting swallowed up by studies. Tobey would absolutely get taken by any technical university or institute that could take him. At first, he considered a out of state university, but he didn't want to move far away from his new life he's built up, so he would settle for an institute that Steven and other professors would have gone to. I'm not saying most of that decision would be a (doesn't want to be too away from his friends) decision but...yeah it would. Haha. Okay, so obviously, Tobey's major and field is in robotics (Wow, who would have thought), but other than that, i have this particular headcanon that I know nobody understands, and I haven't shared yet, but I love it okay! So you know how some people discover their own beliefs and philosophies in college that were so different that you might think for them? Well... I have this idea for Tobey, aside from all the robotics... he starts caring a lot about women studies and starts minoring in it...yup! My boy becomes a whole feminist and gets really passionate about it. He's all about women in STEM and actually meets most of his newer friends through it. He goes to college protests and has written essays. Yeah... I can't believe Tobey McCallister turns woke...(but this is what would happen when the most important people in his life have always been strong women. It'll be crazy if he didn't have a strong respect for that).

Rose: I said in the other descriptions how she would be in the same school as Becky and Scoops. Rose's major is, of course, investigative journalism, but that would require her to also be in the social sciences. In addition to that, I can also imagine her being interested in criminal sciences too. She would compete with Scoops in the school news but technically join forces to beat out the upper-class men. Her nosey behaviors don't get better at college/university. If anything, they get worse by how much content of secrets she can learn from the drama of student life on campus.

And yeah, those are my ideas. Again thx for the ask. This was fun to think about, and I'm sorry if it took a while to answer, I keep forgetting when people talk about the Woodview gang. To me, that's like 7 characters (T△T)

Victoria: Finally, my girl is going to thrive. College would be very good for her, and I think it's the part of her life where she does mellow a lot from the terrible tendencies her parents instilled, more than she did in high school. Victoria being exceptional at everything really did have her (and me) struggle at what specific thing she would major in or what kind of school she would attend. I think a popular idea for her is to just attend some fancy university, but she's mostly doing something like the Olympics. I think that's fair, but I like having different interpretations. One of my fav Victoria headcanons is that music is the talent out of all of them that she's actually passionate about, but of course, her parents turned it into something manipulative. So, in college age, she gets accepted into a music institute or college like Berkeley/Juilliard, and there she really has the freedom to do whatever with music. That does mean she'll also be apart from the others, too, but girlie kinda needs a break from them, lol. (Except Rose because I have an agenda to keep). Victoria would also be more lively and reckless in college life, she already was like that in high school, but when it comes to performing she does take it seriously, probably too much from the trauma of needing to impress people :(

Bonus: Eileen goes to the same school as Becky, but nobody knows what she's majoring in. All they know is that she becomes head of a sorority and they have a "mine" philosophy.

[thevioletcaptain]

I have my first class in the writer's program today!

It's just a short, free, single day seminar that isn't for credit, but seeing as it's been so long since I went to university I decided it would be a good way to ease back into things before my actual graded classes start next month.

I know I already posted a thank you to everyone who chipped in, shared my fundraising post, or messaged me with encouragement a couple of weeks ago when I was trying to add a class to my schedule, but I just wanted to say it again:

Thank youuuu 💚

I really can't overstate how much it meant to me. Beyond just helping me scrape the cash together in time to enrol in the extra class, just seeing your kind words about my writing gave a huge boost to my creative energy.

Because of that... I posted two >10k oneshots and completed one long-standing WIP yesterday. And I've got more that I'm hoping to post in the next few days. I'll make actual rebloggable promos for each of the things tonight after I get back from the class, and I'm going to go in and edit the older chapters of the longfic soon, seeing as I wrote them... uh... nine years ago.

In the meantime, you can find the fics here:

Humble (formerly titled "Risen") Rule!63 DeanCas Pastry Chef AU | 38k | E

When she hangs the help wanted sign in the front window of her cafe, the last thing Deanna expects is to end up employing an inexperienced, socially inept ex-actuary as her new pastry chef. Or maybe that's the second-last thing. She absolutely doesn't expect to fall head over heels.

Frisky Business Established Relationship Casefic with a side of Dom!Cas | 13k | E

In which Cas makes an observation, and Dean's just along for the ride.

Kind of a Buddy of Mine Canonverse Crack Treated Seriously | 14k | M

It’s been sixty-five days since they left Alliance, and Cas is still seven inches tall. He's the one thing that Jesse Turner didn't put back to normal before he took off for greener pastures, and Dean figures he's holding a grudge. On some level, he can’t really blame him. Cas did try to kill the kid, after all. Still, it does seem kinda harsh to have left Cas looking like G.I. Joe’s Corporate Cousin for the rest of forever. With the apocalypse looming, Dean is determined to find a solution.

[damiemontclair]

I've had this post in my drafts since sunday. My mom and I have just been harassed by our neighbour again today so. I'm going to post it. Because thats 3 times in five days and I am sick of it and of being treated like I'm appropriating words that don't apply to me by people I talked to about this.

Theres this common misconception that you cannot experience xenophobia if you are x ethnicity in a country where x ethnicity is the majority. Or that a white person cannot experience xenophobia. But here is the thing. Xenophobia is not racism. Xenophobia means the fear of foreigners. And you can absolutely be the same ethnicity as someone while still being foreign.

I am as white as my neighbour. And yet my neighbour is from here, and I am not. And that is A Problem.

We have...

Been reported by neighbours over a minor violation of the law regarding our hedge (one which, btw, every other (German) neighbour indulges in) and sued by the state because of it (this happened right after my parents bought the house. It had never been a problem for the 30 years before that)

Had the police called on us by a neighbour multiple times for a variety of reasons, incl. made up ones

Been yelled at

Been insulted (we have some very creative neighbours, gotta give them that much)

Literally been told that we, as foreigners, don't understand the law (my father read up on it extensively). Multiple times. By multiple people.

We have a german name for making reservations. Otherwise it's anyones guess what people will write down.

Have had our names knowingly, on-purpose mispronounced by teachers for a cheap joke at our expense.

Been told by teachers who also taught french as a subject that 'this is x class not french i won't translate this exercise for you if you don't get it' (failed that class btw bc 2 years of german 'classes' was not enough to get the material)

Been told by teachers 'oh wow, I didn't expect you to get top grades with your accent' (my sister consciously keeps up her accent)

Been told various other rather problematic things by teachers considering it was a bilingual school with its fair share of french students

And a variety of other things I am too tired to make myself recall.

So yes. A white foreigner in a majority white country can experience xenophobia. It just looks slightly different from what you might expect. Amd yes, others have it plenty worse. It is no less xenophobia and I am done pretending everything is fine just because it could be worse. We had our neighbour come ring our bell to cause trouble two days in a row this weekend. She came by again today to start shit with my mother. We have her on tape as she calls us a bunch of stuff. We're not talking to her anymore until she apologises. I recon she'll die before she does so. She never wanted foreigners to buy the house next to hers. We've been living in this house for over 18 years. I am tired.

[siriuslysatorusimping]

Hi hello, so nice to talk to you, Kiko!

This is going to definitely sound weird, but do you have any advice for an ongoing Ao3 writer? Pretty sure I'm not the only one here writing Gojo/OC stories or fluffy one-shots since they're so addicting lol.

But it's strange to be so obsessed with writing with so many ideas and time and energy to write, and then it feels like you're in a bit of a slump when that rush of creativity sort of slows.

You mentioned before that you had most of the story for AL mapped out and written, did it help you to plan ahead more before posting? Or was it more of a, "I didn't worry about it too much because it was fun to write and we're all Gojo simpls" kind of a deal?

Anyhow, would love to know if you'd be alright talking about it. Have a good day~

Hiiiii! It's nice to talk to you, too! 😊

Gojo fluff is addictive and I honestly have been rereading Physical Paradox installments today because I need fluff and motivation 😂

Hmmmm, advice for AO3 writers? Honestly, I feel like I'm a bit under qualified for that because I'd been an anon reader for over ten years until July when I finally created an account so I could post Another Level 😂😂

BUT, I do have a few thoughts. I'll try to keep these as simple as my over-explaining ass can 🫠 (Kiko did not keep it simple. I ranted and this post is hella long, I am so sorry.)

If you haven't already, you can read Another Level on AO3 💕

On writing in general: Write for you.

1) I know I've said this before, but it's true. Write as if no one else will ever see what you're writing to begin with. That's how I started with Another Level. I never intended for anyone else to see it when I first started. On the flip side of this though, don't be afraid of bouncing ideas off others.

It's likely vain of me, but I genuinely enjoy reading my own writing. I try very hard to make sure that what I'm posting is something I enjoy reading. But it makes it so much easier to write if you enjoy reading it, because you're just as excited to read it and see what happens as someone who isn't in your head.

2) I think that something really important for when that creativity slows in one area, don't force yourself to keep going if you don't have to. Hobbies are supposed to be fun, not an obligation or a stressor.

Once the joy fades from a hobby, it's no longer a hobby.

Think of it this way: since May of this year, I've written around 300k words for different fanfics. If we look at that from the perspective of a single-spaced, 12pt font perspective, that is 300 pages. I've written the equivalent of a gosh dang Dissertation. But here's the difference between Another Level and a Dissertation: writing and researching for Another Level was fun. It was something I wanted to do.

(We'll ignore the fact that I didn't have to teach classes and grade papers simultaneously as well. I do and don't miss grad school And honestly, I miss teaching. But academia can kiss my ass.)

3) Write what you want to write, not what others expect you to write. This isn't your job. You aren't being paid for a word count or hours put in, you're doing this for you and for fun. When you let other's expectations drive you instead of your own desire, that happiness is fleeting and it's easy to burnout fast.

4) Follow your inspiration fairies, even if only briefly. You don't have to write out an entire universe, and you don't have to keep what you write. But sometimes you have to get rid of the brainworms to make room for other ideas. I've realized that a few of my Goinko 'au' ideas are literally better just as little headcannons or blurbs and nothing more. And that's okay, because now I got them out of my system.

5) If you want to write and finish a series, only post for that series. I'm learning this the hard way right now with Gokduō and Physical Paradox. It is really hard to focus on one or the other because I feel an odd pressure to get the next parts done for both, which is completely the opposite of what it should be.

The pressure drains my creativity, and I've found myself struggling because I'm too worried about what people will think of it instead of what I want it to be. In all honesty, I had a moment today where I almost decided I don't want to finish Gokudō because I'm not sure where to take it, but I realized I just need some time away from trying to force myself.

6) If you're unhappy with it, don't be afraid to scrap it. Use it as a starting point if you want, but don't get too attached to it if you don't like where it's going. Take a step back and ask if/how it's getting you where you want to go with that work, and if it doesn't help you get there, then it can go.

What was my approach with Another Level? (includes JJK Manga spoilers)

I'll elaborate a bit more on how I had things mapped out before I started posting first. Essentially, when the Gojo/Sukuna fight started in the manga, I just knew Gojo was going to die. In my mind, there was no way Akutami would let him live, and I was in a really bad place mentally and wasn't sure how I'd be able to handle it. And then I was like "wait, that's literally why we have fanfic, I can keep him alive as long as I want."

So, I started Another Level with the intention to keep it to myself and use it as my own comfort fic to prepare myself for Gojo's death. Some behind the scenes info: a version of the dream Rinko had in Split Bluff was the very first thing I wrote for Another Level. Except it originally wasn't a dream, it was going to be their reunion. However, they weren't as close, they were solidly friends with benefits who barely knew each other. Then, I wrote a part where Rinko first meets Yuuji at the Goodwill Event and she was Maki's legal guardian and still a teacher at Kyoto Tech, then I went further back and wrote her asking Gojo to get Maki enrolled at Tokyo Tech, and then I went further back and wrote Make a God Bleed.

As you already know because you've read Another Level, none of those stayed the same because then, as I kept writing, Rinko took on a life of her own. She became so much more than just a random OC that I threw together without thinking. And I have to say that I'm so glad she did because I'm not sure I would have been able to deal with 236 without Rinko. Some people have said Rinko helped them, but she's helped me so much as well. I mean it when I say she's cemented herself as my favorite original character that I've ever written because she has so much depth and heart that I accidentally poured into her. Not to mention that she's helped me meet some really amazing people along the way.

I'm in a bit of a rut now because I was on a marathon of writing for about five or six months. I started writing Another Level in May, and while I wrote the first draft for All That I Am Is Yours probably in June or July, I pretty much completely rewrote it once we actually got there. Between May and now, I've written upwards of 300k words of JJK fanfic, not including the installments or drafts I scrapped completely 🙃

Posting schedule with Another Level:

As someone who is severely ADHD, my hyperfocus was strong with Another Level. I was obsessed. And I was even more obsessed when I realized people were enjoying reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

In all honesty, part of what kept me on a strict uploading schedule with Another Level was a desire for the validation and praise in the comments. While I had a lot written, I uploaded so quickly because I wanted to get that lil rush from seeing the comments.

Kiko is about to do a lil bit of oversharing for ya: I'd just left a job where I'd spent the last six months there with my formerly wonderful boss decided to blame me for every little thing that went wrong, and then she couldn't understand why my performance actually started to drop. I hadn't heard a damn word of positive feedback for anything I did in so long that the comments on Another Level helped pull me out of a very depressive state.

But, it quickly became unhealthy because I started to rely on them to the point where it was all I cared about. All I cared about was seeing comments on the newest Another Level installment, and when there wasn't feedback, I got all in my head about what I'd done wrong and wanted to post the next installment as quickly as possible because maybe that one would do better.

Now, this is not me saying that wanting comments is a bad thing. Feedback is very important, and it's hard to know if people are enjoying something when there's not anything to go on. But it does become a problem if it's the only reason you're writing. I've been very fortunate in that I haven't gotten comments or messages demanding updates because I've seen that others do receive those sometimes. I like to think it's because you guys are just awesome and wonderful people.

I've gotten a bit better about being obsessed with comments because I have this nice lil corner of wonderful people and I feel like I've made a few genuine friends here. (Hi Rai, if you're reading this, I hope you're doing well.)

I know that what I just described for my Another Level posting schedule contradicts what I said in the beginning, but I will say that while my posting schedule was heavily driven by that need for praise, my writing schedule was not. I was writing so much because I was enjoying myself. I was having more fun writing than I had in years. I still am, but I do have to keep reminding myself some of the points I made above otherwise I find myself falling into a rut.

THIS WAS PROBABLY WAY MORE THAN YOU BARGAINED FOR AND I AM SO SORRY 🫠

BUT I HOPE IT MADE SENSE AND THAT IT WASN'T JUST COMPLETELY FUCKING USELESS 😭😭🙃

[supernova3space]

18,681 words. That's where I am now.

I'm not even close to half of the story but I don't want to start posting the chapters now because if I do, I'll either lose the flow or I'll forget and procrastinate and never finish it.

And I want to finish it.

It's an SOA fanfiction. I was reading one of my old Satyajit Ray books (HE'S A GENIUS). I love his stories. They have an element of an undiscoverable horror, peppered with mystery, woven with such meticulous care into the fabric of the story. His horror stories leave you with nightmares and he doesn't even have to utilise ghosts or any specific supernatural beings for them.

The could be a line of ants crawling on your wall. Or the apparition of the dog you ran over with your car. Or an abstract wooden figurine you found in the woods that can't let you sleep at night.

It could be your doppelganger who not only resembles you but has done everything that you have done as well, living your life. It could be a carnivorous plant that your eccentric friend bought.

And his creation of Feluda the detective. Dude is the Indian Sherlock Holmes and Hercule Poirot.

I started writing horror when I was in 6th grade. For our language class. Our teacher gave us a list of words and we had to include them in the story we were writing.

I think I was the only person who wrote a ghost story. I wrote two.

First one was pretty cliched. It was about a man entering a house with a gorgeous garden with lots of fruit trees that he wants to use for selling fruits (Fruit was one of the words in the list so the lack the creativity here lmao). He enters at night cause he wants to prove the watchman wrong about ghosts in the building and, you guessed it, he was killed by the ghost.

Second one took a little more time but it was about a young girl who moves into this town and she finds another little girl playing inside an old dilapidated building. (My cousins and I used to play in old buildings all the time so this was fun). They become good friends and every day our protagonist goes to play with her friend. She never sees the girl in school or anywhere else and when she asks the girl, she says her house is far away.

Then one day, when she comes back, she finds the little girls white dress stained in blood. She's shocked as hell but her friend smiles and tells her she was preparing to go home. She was scared of going because she thought people would forget her but now she had found the courage to go after meeting our protagonist. She then guides our protagonist to an old photo album buried in the building and says goodbye before disappearing into the wind.

Yeah, so, my language teacher was super supportive of this whole disturbing thing lmao I blame her. Thank you ma'am.

I'd say the thing I'm working on is sort of similar. I'm writing something I'm familiar with. I love it, I like what I'm writing, I like how it's going (sorta) and well, idk when I'll finish it but I will finish it. It'll take a long, LONG time tho lmao

Well, that's my rant for the day.

[fasterthanmydemons]

{out of breath} Alright folks, I know I'm getting on here late tonight, but it has not been a good day. I'll put some updates below a cut, but there's just a lot going on in my life right now that's not only taking away from time I have to write, but it's also leaving me without a lot of creativity or ability to concentrate. I would probably skip tonight if I could, because I'm exhausted and my focus is not really there to write, but I skipped last week, and will need to skip next week as well. So... I am here to do what I can tonight, but I apologize if it's a bit light. I'm doing the best I can, honestly. The next few weeks are going to be rough, but then I'm hoping maybe I can turn a corner and things will get better. Thank you for understanding, I know I've been absent a lot lately in recent months, but you've all been so supportive. Things will get better, I'm just not exactly sure when. <3

Okay so... for those who want to know what's going on... I found out this morning that I will need surgery to remove my gallbladder. This was anxiety-producing enough because I've never had surgery before in my life (unless you count wisdom teeth extraction), and people in my family rend to react poorly and dangerously to anesthesia. So I'm very anxious about this, and I've got a consultation with a surgeon next Monday to probably schedule a date to have this done in the near future.

In the meantime, I'm in a decent amount of pain, and I'm already on a restrictive diet that will likely become even more restrictive after surgery. I've been a comfort eater/baker all my life, that's my main coping mechanism for stress and anxiety, so this has been very damaging to my mental health to have my one go-to taken away.

While that was going on today, in the midst of calling doctors and making appointments and such, I've been working on a promotion package that's due the end of the week. I didn't want to apply for promotion because I don't really think I deserve it, but I also just want to keep things status quo. I'm fine with my job the way it is, and I don't need a promotion. But I've been informed that not applying may be one of the factors contributing to me potentially losing my job later this year, because I won't "seem ambitious enough." I'm just like... of course I'm not ambitious, I'm taking care of my grandmother, I've got health issues, I've got focus and memory issues post-Covid, yeah I just want things to stay the way they are. But I may lose my job if I don't show interest in advancement. So I've had to quickly write and gather everything to apply by Friday because I wasn't planning on doing it.

Then I found out today that the person I have to send all my promotion materials to, and one of two people who will be making the decision on whether or not I get promoted AND whether I keep my job going forward... is a woman who 1) stole my research in 2015 and rendered me unable to publish my own work because she stole it and published it first, and 2) got me laid off from my dream job in 2017 because she lied behind my back to the company we were conducting research for that I was no longer interested in the project, so that she could have all the project funding only for her lab. So I'm just like.... I am... so screwed. *sigh* My hope for keeping my job plummeted after that. That was my second panic attack of the day.

My third... was when I went out to get the mail, only to find out I've been summoned for jury duty. I mean seriously, life? Really? What the actual flippin' pancake?! I was like how am I going to manage this promotion application process, surgery, recovery, AND my students have their midterm this Friday and a forum assignment I have to grade the same day as my surgery consultation as well (the reason I have to skip this blog next week)... and then also add jury duty. After I calmed down, I went on the website and tried to do a medical deferral until the summer, when I would be between classes and hopefully over some of my health issues... which was thankfully accepted. So that at least has been resolved for the time being.

After that, I just... crashed so hard. I slept from 7PM to 11:30PM because the stress just hit hard. After dealing with some laundry that had been backing up, I am just now getting on here at 3AM, heh. So. That's. What's been going on. It's been... ALot™.

Once I have my surgery date, I'll know better when I have to go on hiatus for a bit, because I'll be in the hospital for a couple days with limited web access and then I'll be recovering at home, so I'm not sure how all of that is going to go. As soon as I know more, I'll let everyone know so that you'll know when I'll be gone and when I'm coming back.

Again, thank you for understanding. I'll be okay, it's just a seriously bad patch of life right now. This too shall pass, I know. I just wish it would hurry up, heh.

[catrasredemption-moved]

Fanfic Etiquette Sunday

Oh man okay, let's rock and roll y'all.

So my friend got... well, this ask, and answered it honestly.

tl;dr the question: Just say you don't want unsolicited criticism, you're asking for it if you post in a public forum tl;dr the answer: lol that's not how this works tl;dr the replies: Your viewpoint is toxic and you need a thicker skin and to grow up and just accept it, you're driving readers away

Okay. Okay. Let's start with

"just say you don't want unsolicited criticism, you're asking for it if you post in an open forum"-

No, posting in an open forum does not automatically mean I want criticism. This isn't a Creative Writing class, it's the Internet, where we share things with each other because we want to, not because we have to. Do you also criticize every meme? Every cute animal pictures? Do I need to start putting a disclaimer on my shitposts that I don't want feedback on whether or not they're cracky enough?

Fanfiction. Is. A. Hobby. People aren't out here sharing their work for free just to hear about all the ways you don't like it. If I think something I've written needs criticism, I'm going to ask the people close to me, who I trust to be honest with their opinions, how I can fix it. I am not going to trust randomusername69420 who thinks I've written the entire story wrong and presents their own version of it and says I should write that instead. And yes, I've gotten that before. I've had readers "challenge" me to write something I have no interest in. News flash, y'all aren't my writing teachers. I'm here to write, not to be graded on my work.

If you're someone who likes unsolicited crit? Cool, go crazy, you do you, boo. But I promise there are more creators out there who don't want it than those who do. Especially first time writers who are still trying to find their style. It's demoralizing. Which leads into the next point:

"You need a thicker skin"

I personally am made of stone. I actively participated in the Tumblr Superwholock saga. I've been to k**l myself for daring to enjoy something someone else doesn't. There's (almost) nothing you can say that would actively piss me off or offend me.

However. Being made of stone doesn't mean I can't recognize and acknowledge when someone is being rude. And you know what? It's valid for people to be upset when they work hard on something only to hear: "Well, here are eight things you could have done better."

I've been told before that I've "missed opportunities" in my stories. To me, that's vaguely annoying at best. I wrote the story I wanted to write. There's no such thing as "missed opportunities" - that's an idea you can take and write it.

But a new writer hearing something like that? It could be absolutely devastating. Here are they are trying to share something the world, only to be told they could have done it better. That can absolutely kill creativity. Which leads into the next point...

you're driving readers away

And you're driving writers away. I know people who just straight up abandoned their stories because of unsolicited criticism. They don't want it, they didn't need it, and they shouldn't have to say "Hey maybe don't crap all over this thing I've spent days or weeks working on."

Imagine if you spent all day cooking a big family meal, and when everyone tried it all they said was, "Well the chicken was dry, the potatoes weren't mashed enough, the green beans were kind of limp and soggy." Did you ask for that criticism by presenting your meal to an open forum (the family table)? Should you have said, "Hey maybe be nice and don't insult every little thing you see wrong with this"? You're not a professional chef, you already know that, and so does your family. Are you going to cook for them again knowing that's their attitude toward you? Personally, I wouldn't. They can make their own damn meals if they're so good at it. I'll just keep cooking for me.

And finally...

"Your viewpoint is toxic."

No, it's setting boundaries. It's saying, "I put a lot of energy into this thing I've written (or maybe I wrote it in five minutes, who knows), and I kind of just want people to be nice to me because validation is cool." And validation is cool! Everybody needs it. Everybody thrives on it. There's nothing wrong with that. Imagine going through your entire life without anyone ever saying one good thing about you, just pointing out all the things you did wrong. Your chicken is too dry, your parallel parking is a bit crooked, your line art is shaky, you missed a spot when you were cleaning the kitchen counter, you missed an opportunity while writing your story. That's exhausting. Nobody wants to live like that. Maybe instead of assuming criticism is the default response, you should look at the person and go "I don't know their life, maybe they just need some kindness."

And if you really don't like something someone's written? Go write it yourself. Fanfiction is a free market, there's absolutely nothing stopping you from writing and sharing your own stories. You're not helping anything by offering criticism to someone who doesn't want it and could potentially be put off by it.

[quills-planning]

Announcement!!

First of all, Spring Semester is over but I still don't know my final grades for my classes 😭. I might've failed my Organic Chemistry class - and if I did Fall Semester will see me trying another set of courses to fulfill that role in my Bachelors degree. I'm taking the Summer Semester off in order to focus on myself and my mental health, but to also follow some exciting creative projects and household projects too.

So my May Spreads and Summer Semester (almost like a quarter/season, but since I'm in Uni separating into semesters works better) are coming along very well and I'll be posting more pictures of them soon!

Also, I'm filming my drawing of all spreads to put up on YT! I'll be linking the channel when that goes up. It'll be a bit of a lifestyle type of channel with a focus on planning/bujo spreads and my writing journey.

[theothersarshi]

I don't want to derail @theshitpostcalligrapher's post, so I'll make my own. Anyway, they were really nice to @theworseshitpostcalligrapher on this post, where the latter rewrote the same three words in a similar style in a reblog. (So it's really nice all around - there's acknowledgement of what's going on, there's approval, there's building up.)

And I wanted to share a story.

Back when I was in primary & middle school (grades 1-8 over here in Romania), I was a very, very earnest kid, a bit naive, but when I loved people or things, I really loved them. Keep that in mind for what happens next.

We had 1 hour of Art class/week all throughout middle school, but our middle school Art teacher Did. Not. Teach. I can't emphasize how much teaching didn't happen. We had to have watercolors/tempera and a paint brush, and he'd tell us things like, "Paint something Olympics-themed" or "Draw something for the local theater festival". Then we'd get grades based on how nice our paintings/drawings were. That was it. That was all.

...I found out things like the human body having proportions only when I was already a student, while talking to my future bff. I found out tempera isn't "watercolors, but in a tube" even later. But never mind that.

My middle school best friend had talent, though. She was naturally Good At Art and she came up with this amazing style (well, amazing to us 12 yos) where she made up big drawings out of tiny pencil doodles - asterisks and spirals were among her favorites, I think. It was not quite like typewriter art, because her doodles didn't overlap, but typewriter art + Pointilism + doodles is the best way I can describe it. The rest of us hadn't even thought about using a pencil.

I was in love. And I could sort of understand how she did it, so I started... copying that. I wanted to try it out for myself, do the thing. I changed the basic doodle shapes, but I kept the general idea. (I would have preferred something realistic and colorful, but I had no idea how to do any of that; see: teaching, not happening)

My colleagues called me a copycat (understandable). My mother called me a copycat (*sigh*). Even my teacher called me a copycat (I'm wondering vaguely if that's why he never taught anything, so we'd never end up copying a style we saw, *le gasp*). One must never, ever do what someone else is doing! ORIGINALITY!!!ONE! Figure it out yourself, in your own way!

Adult!Me thinks our teacher could have used this as a Teachable Moment to talk about why her drawings worked and to point us in the direction of similar artists or whatever. Or maybe he could have realized I wanted to learn something and pointed me in the direction of, I don't know, a book about how to draw, maybe. If he didn't want to teach his class himself. But I digress.

I was left feeling bad and like a complete loser. My best friend at the time mocked me, too, because of course she did. As far as I know, when we got to high school she never drew again (we were no longer friends by then, due to unrelated reasons).

It feels particularly wonderful to me to come across people actively encouraging and helping each other to learn, even if they're walking paths others have walked before. I never learned how to draw, but I did learn how to write stories, and there's a lot of fumbling around and imitating others to see what works and why before you become good. It takes so much practice. It's hard.

And sometimes maybe you just want to do The Thing for yourself, and that's also fine. Who the heck cares if you decide to have your own Van Gogh-style painting of your own bedroom on the wall of your bedroom?

Anyway, it makes me so happy when I see creatives being creative and sharing things with others. It's probably very flattering to be the only one at the lonely top, but when you have a community and you can learn from others, everyone wins more.

[fantasticduckchaos]

Hi Ro! 🩶 Just wanted to drop in, to let you know how much I absolutely adore your art!! 🫶💕 (like it truly makes me so happy to see whenever you've posted a new one! 🥰)

So in relation to that I wanted to ask: What are the top 5 things that inspire you to do art? 👀

(also curious if there is anything about art in general, that you'd like to talk about! 🤗🩵)

Hey stella <333 thank you so much for enjoying my art :] I'm so glad you like it❤️

1. My hyperfixations - as soon as I join a Fandom or community I immediately feel the need to draw fanart for it, anything I'm passionate about really😅games, movies, fanfics, youtubers etc..

2. Other people - whenever I get requests for certain parings or drawings I get so happy because I'm like- "this person likes MY art so much they want to request!?" and I get so exited whenever someone even reblogs my stuff :D

3. People I love - anytime I have a friend that I love so dearly I constantly wanna draw them and give them gifts. If you somehow were able to look through my sketchbooks over the years, you would find month long periods where I would only be drawing one person. These things come and go but I love the rush of creativity I get whenever it happens :)))

4. Boredom - I know it's weird- hear me out. When I was in school I always found myself doodling in my notebooks when a class was boring (which it usually was haha) and it subconsciously really helped with my art journey and with my inspiration over the years.

5. Myself - sometimes I feel that the only way to express what's going on in my head is through art. It doesn't matter what kind. Sometimes I feel really overwhelmed and a random fucking poem about it pops into my head so I write down. Maybe I saw something really beautiful somewhere and absolutely HAD to draw what it made me feel. I find myself in so many things around me and I want to get it on paper or in my notes app just to preserve the feeling.

Art runs in my family, I have a few cousins who draw and on both my parents sides they have a history of it. Though my main inspiration to start drawing was my sister. My older sister draws so amazingly even three year-old me wanted to be like her. She unknowingly encouraged me to continue expressing myself and I am forever grateful for her. It's also so fun to see how other hobbies translate, for example I plays guitar; I didn't know this until after I started playing but my dad always wanted to play when he was a kid and my mom played guitar when she was in seventh grade (I started playing in seventh grade too!) my brother and my cousin also took a few classes and so did my grandpa on my mom's side. It's so cool to see things that don't seem genetic translate in different family members👍 okay sorry for the rant I got carried away😅😅

[dragonofeternal]

So this year has been really, really good in terms of like... reminding/validating that I'm actually like smart and good at what I do?

Like.

First off, I got my new job which whips ass and is super fun and challenging and pays way better and where my ability to do nine million different things is like very valuable. Like oh yeah, I can reformat this word doc/that powerpoint. Do you want me to do a little bit of graphic design to make this actually look nicer? Oh, you need this video for a presentation but it's on a site other than youtube? Yeah sure, I'll rip it for you. And also just the day-to-day of being able to take good notes, and being able to help copyedit training materials, and generally being a pleasant and mostly on top of things person in the office.

THEN, I took one of Killian's creative writing classes along with them. Which, for one thing, was super fun, good teacher, nice to have an organized space/time to hang out and talk about writing. But also it was really validating to have someone outside of the internet/my inner circle of friends read and critique my work who was like... I dunno another adult/serious writer type person? Our teacher is a published poet -- Though more specifically she's prolific as a TRANSLATOR of poetry. A fair number of the translated Palestinian poets you've seen being posted around tumblr recently are most certainly her work. -- and when she realized the level I was writing at she started critiquing my work a lot harder. Still had nice stuff to say! Just also being willing to dig in and point out places where I could improve.

We actually hung out with her last night at a fellow classmate's band's show and she took both me and Killian aside for expanded critique/thoughts on our final pieces, and said some really nice stuff which included that she sees both of us as like professional-grade writers who should continue to hone their craft and who she really wants to see succeed/get shit published/etc. I'm currently letting a short story (that is... probably gonna end up as a novella orz) that I wrote for class sit before I do another draft of it, and then she's offered to do a more critical line edit for me so I can shop it around and get it published somewhere really good.

(Which is also interesting because I see myself as working very much in genre spaces and she's very in the "literary" sort of mode, and she said that she saw a lot of literary prowess and style in how I wrote which she could see getting it published in a more literary type journal. And that's like a weird/wild thought bc of my complicated thoughts on the way the literary/publishing world looks at and treats genre writing blah blah blah....)

At the SAME show, though, our teacher had brought along a friend, who is also a teacher at the community college. Said friend works for the theatre department and recognized me from volunteering to act at a one-day event last semester for Killian's playwriting class. Like this was an event where I was acting for MAYBE a grand total of fifteen minutes. And she basically said "HEY YOU'RE REALLY GOOD, WHY HAVEN'T I SEEN YOU AT ANY OF THE AUDITIONS?" So then I chatted with her some about how I've done a lot of theatre over the years but time/jobs/money meant I haven't had a chance to in a long time...

But now my job is a 9-5! So I gave her my number and I'm now basically the understudy for if/when someone drops out of the productions currently going on. Apparently they have a lot of issues with people dropping suddenly so it's likely that I'll end up doing something next semester! Which is good cuz like. Damn, do I love the theatre, and I've missed it A LOT.

I dunno just having two different people being really impressed about my creative work in a short time was really, really mood/ego boosting? I dunno. When I last did theater in Pittsburgh I ended up feeling really burnt out by the exhausting sense of always having to hunt for work, feeling like I wasn't good enough, etc... And last year I was struggling a lot with feeling like all my writing was futile/unwanted/etc... So having people remember me and be super complimentary was. Nice.

[dearestones]

Hiya Devin :) for the recent ask game!

10 (short, huh?), 26, 27, 43, andddd for 50: Why writing? What inspires you/ got you into it in the first place? Thanks Devin :) Hope you're having a slay day! <3

Hey, Devin here!

10. How tall are you?

Did you know... shortness is only a matter of perspective? I'm 191 cm. Obviously. Like Floyd Leech. You should totally believe me.

150 cm

26. What are some seemingly childish things you like? 

Ohhhh, that's a very cool question! Ummm.... hmmm...

I really like cute notebooks, planners, scrapbooks, and calligraphy sets! I don't have a creative bone in my body when it comes to writing legibly, much less decorating planners or scrapbooking, but it seems like a good hobby!

Another a childish thing I like? I really like my happy stims! It's a sore point for me in real life, especially if other people are in the room when I stim, but I like flapping my arms or jumping up and down. The happy chemicals create more happy chemicals in an unstoppable feedback loop that has originated since childhood. :D

Ohhhh, puns! I like to grab seemingly random objects and making puns out of them!

I mean, with all of these questions... It seems like this is a quest ur on to know more details about me! ;)

Yes, I know it's bad shhhh...

27. What’s your favorite book? Or just one you’ve read a few times? 

Oh gosh, please don't be mad at me, it's been years since I've read a book that wasn't a reference text or a manual. Can fanfictions count? From my most recent memory, even though it's been a while since I've last read it (but I have read it upwards to 10+ times over the years)... Snakeskins by Lsunnyc.

I know you like worldbuilding and lore, guess what that fanfic is composed of! (It's also one of my main inspirations to how I write nowadays. I really look up to that author and you should check them out and their ao3 if you're interested!). It's a Hetalia/Harry Potter crossover fanfic and it's... very long, but hey. It's really well written.

But an actual book? Gosh... No Longer Human by Osamu Dazai? That's one of the last few books I remember reading and that was definitely a trip. I related to the main character a bit too much and the subject matter, trajectory of the character... It really hits and there's a reason why the book has the reputation it has.

43. Do you have siblings? How many?

Yup! Two of them!

50. Wild Card. Any question, ask away.

Why writing? What inspires you/ got you into it in the first place?

(Answer under the cut because it got too long!)

Okies, so I know in the past I think I admitted to having started posting fic in 2012 and my first fandom was for Tokyo Mew Mew. However! My first ever fanfic was for Sharkboy and Lavagirl and it was written on yellow legal pad and will never see the light of day ahaha!

The reason I bring that up is because when I was younger and school would let out for the summer, our class would have this ritual of throwing away our tattered old notebooks that we weren't planning on using for the next school year into the recycled bins. However, before I left for home, I would take all of the notebooks that had been dropped into the recycle bins, take them home, rip out the old notes and doodles, and then keep them over the summer.

So that I can write in them.

I started in fifth grade when I realized that it would be a waste just to let those notebooks be recycled when there were some that had tons of clean pages??? In them??? That's why I saved those poor notebooks.

The thing was, I didn't realize that I had like half a dozen or so notebooks that had clean pages that I realized... I could do things with the notebooks. So, over the course of the summers from 5-7 grade, I would write short stories (seriously, short as in like one paragraph long onto a single page and call it a day). It wasn't until the summer of 7th grade that I realized... wait, why write stories only in the summer? Why not write during the whole year instead?

At that point, I amassed a lot of notebooks and scraps of papers filled with stories. Somewhere along the way, I shifted from purely original fiction to fanfiction because it was through my first official fandom (Tokyo Mew Mew) that I realized fanfiction was a thing.

I totally thought, upon reading my first fanfic in ye old ffnet, that it was actually canon material until I checked the comments and other stories. And thus, my eyes were opened.

So yeah, come eighth grade and beyond, I began writing more fanfics in my free time and eventually, in high school, I began bringing my fanfic notebook into class so that I could work on them during breaks.

I think what really inspires me to write would be because... there are entire swathes of the story, of the behind scenes, that we never get to see in canon. You can infer a lot from subtext or hints dropped from characters alluding to events, character perceptions, etc. but there's a difference from accepting the subtext or canon as it is and... Taking what you know and then adding depth to it and transforming it into something new.

I don't know... breathing life into characters who already has an established character is so exhilarating to me! There are people out there who roll their eyes at fanfic, but like??? Writing a character and making them stay in character while also transforming them in the process??? It's creation in one of its more pure forms while also paying homage to the original creator.

There's a quote somewhere... maybe on tumblr? and this person said that writing fanfic or any sort of transformative work is like playing with the sandbox that the original creator has left behind. That's what I'm doing, I'm playing in a sandbox.

And I'm having a lot of fun with it! :D

Anywhoozles, thank you so much for the questions and I hope that you have a wonderful day!

Feel free to ask more questions and I hope that you have a wonderful day! :D