#i'm not very sociable so i'm more of the ('here's the candy

[astrcthesiai-archived]

Doing a bit of autumn cleaning leading up to October 15-31. Just fixed my pinned post and blog description. Will be fixing my blog next.

October 15-31 I will be doing research for Clive, Jill, Venat, and Chronica. I will also be doing some autumn cleaning around the house.

October 31 I will be handing out candy, so my mind will be scattered, but I will get to Halloween asks into November.

[sixsamefacez]

TODOMATSU ANALYSIS #1

This is gonna be Riddled with typos cause i made this all in a frenzy, but here goes anyways.

todomatsu is sorely underappreciated but I really love that little guy. So here's a long analysis post about him!

I wish the fandom saw him as more than arm candy, more than just a guy to ship atsushi with too…. and it's like. I rarely ever see any content that isn't just ship art for him and it honestly makes me pretty sad. He's such a fascinating character that gets a bad rap because nobody can understand that he ACTS cold and distant, not that he ACTUALLY IS when you actually stop and take a look at him

I'm especially tired of people insisting that todomatsu wouldn't care if any of his brothers died or if they got hurt or whatever because the truth is he's very attached to them even if he finds them incredibly embarrassing. He would do anything for his brothers although he would never really own up to it and it's clear that having formerly relied on his brothers so often he just wants to be known as less of a crybaby/less dependent since that's something he caught a lot of shit for

He's still an asshole but so are all the other brothers. They're all assholes in their own ways . But it is undeniable that he still deeply cares about his family whether he admits it aloud or not, and even before the movie revealed the information that he used to be a very clingy little crybaby it was made pretty clear that he just masked a lot of his care and concern for his bros. Masking it doesn't mean that it's not there.

The show jokes that he is Literally heartless, but… I really I think he's just overcompensating for how sensitive he really is / especially used to be.

We know he used to rely on them far too much in Highschool, ever clingy and very scared without them. Choromatsu seemed to be the closest one to him; always taking responsibility and helping him through his anxiety and emotions, but he was still very caring of his other brothers. He really enjoyed spending time with them, and cried if they got into fights or were mean; he was the baby brother they always made sure to protect, both because he was the smallest, but also the most emotionally volatile.

Totty had always been last in everything; often feeling isolated and a bit disconnected from his brothers as a result. He WAS pretty sweet, although very clingy, and a total crybaby, and could do very little without his brother’s help until he was mercilessly bullied out of that in highschool.

As an adult, he now insists on proving he’s not like his brothers. While he is a NEET just like them, he’s the most sociable of the bunch; constantly trying to flirt with girls that he  barely  feels attachments to, trying to keep up with the latest trends, and even getting short term secret jobs now and then to fund the things that he’d like to get for himself. To overcompensate for how much he used to rely on his brothers, he’s now taking charge in trying to be the first to do many things out of his brothers; he’s the first to get a job, first to get a phone, first to start  trying out new fashion, first to try and get a girlfriend ( although most of the time, it feels empty and meaningless. he holds no real lust for the girls he tends to flirt with ) … you get the idea.

He also has adapted a rather indifferent, stone cold persona about his brothers; most of the time, he effortlessly roasts them, insults them, and generally pretends not to exist around him. When people call him just as terrible as his brothers, he absolutely REFUSES to let that slide; the reason why he tries to be first in everything other than what was previously stated was easily because he doesn’t want to be known as a bad person. He does everything in his power to act heartless and uncaring, and to make himself out like an overly cutesy lovable single child.

The fact of the matter is, though, that he’s not.

He’s a liar, which his brothers hates; but just as he’s a liar, he really DOES care about his brothers. Even if he tries to pretend like he doesn’t, even  if he tries to avoid being seen with them anywhere, and even if he can get embarrassed about his relation to them, he DOES care very much for them all. He loves to go along with their schemes sometimes, playing along more than you’d probably expect a guy like him to.  However, he’s also very secretive, and his brothers know little about him nowadays – and that’s the way he wants to keep it.

He’s tired of being so babied, of being treated like he’s a fragile incapable baby. He’s an ADULT now, goddammit, and he can do whatever he want!! He keeps many secrets from his brothers and does actually kind of have a life outside of being a NEET ( which is something that can’t be said for all the other brothers ); like the fact that he climbed Mt. Fuji alone at age 21, or that he went to a Go club, or got a membership at a gym…

Despite how hard Todomatsu tries to stand out, and to be a better person, it’s all very surface level. He’s really just as much of a loser as his brothers! He thinks he’s cuter than he actually is, and acts as though he’s above all of his brothers - but the truth is that honestly? He’s not better than them. He’s still at their level.

The only thing he IS … is more sociable.  It’s painfully clear how hard  he tries to stand out over the rest, and it ends up backfiring because when he tries to be trendy or stand out, he just sticks out like a sore thumb. Not that he notices, or listens when his brothers tell him as much.

I think it's also interesting and fascinating how he actually has a pretty big doombrain issue. He always expects the worst to happen and I think that's residual from his deeeep anxiety as a teenager

Like for example . The ESP kitty incident, he openly says that he worried that jyushimatsu walked right into traffic when he went missing ( bc jyushi was looking for that orange kitty ) but I've seen some people think that meant todomatsu WANTED jyushi to walk into traffic

But I'm convinced that those people are media illiterate and didn't pay attention to the scene at all because he explicitly says that he was WORRIED that he did. And that he was RELIEVED AND GLAD when he was okay!!

I find it more accurate to say to the people who insist he wouldn't care if his brothers died. He WOULD care if tht happened. He would just act like he didn't and cover it up. I mean, he genuinely does that kind of shit ALL the time. ESPECIALLY WHEN IT COMES TO HIS ANXIETY. He never shook that anxiety from when he was a teen off, which is blatantly obvious!

Referring back to ESP kitty incident again since I gave a little context on that specifically;

He did Not at ALL tell anybody that he was worried about jyushi walking into traffic until he showed back up relatively okay, if a bit trashed up and nasty. he then laughed off his thoughts and casually admitted what he thought happened, but it was delivered so light-hearted ( in a way in which was like. Kind of accepting that he was overthinking things? You know how you can get anxious abt things but then you just kind of laugh it off in retrospect?? He did that ) got a lot of people mistook it for him just simply not caring

And. he was also like. dead silent during the final bit of that ep. and just kind of kept that one awkward stare of his that he does when he's uncomfortable and he didn't really speak any lines until his brother showed back up safe. THEN he'd started talking again.

Its certainly not the only time he's done this kind of thing (see: coffee shop ep where he went a little nonverbal when he got stressed about his brothers showing up and his thoughts went a MILE A MINUTE spouting off anxieties before he could speak again ). So it seems like that's a recurring thing for him, I suppose

TLDR totty isn't heartless he's just an asshole who hides his true feelings until he Can't. Yes he's self absorbed now, but he clearly is still anxiety ridden and does care for / like his brothers despite being the one to bitch about them the most. AMEN!!!!!

[archivalofsins]

It's important to look into the struggles around being diagnosed later in life more. Especially when talking about mental health and coping mechanisms. A lot of people who were diagnosed with mental health issues young may be unable to fully understand the struggles of those who were not or even recognize the stunning amount of privilege at play when it comes to getting diagnosed early.

Everyone has their own struggles, but individuals diagnosed later in life aren't given any accommodations or assistance to help them. Hell, they don't even have access to therapy at times or an interest in going to it because they never have before, so why start now. They get fired a lot for not being able to keep up with their workload or not being sociable enough.

I'm speaking from personal experience here. However, firing people for poor communication skills, i.e., not being a team player, is very common all over, not just a US thing. This is, in my opinion, why the series has Mikoto say this to Futa,

20/06/15

Mikoto: Hey, it’s kinda a bother having you be so angry and tense all the time. You should stop trying get everyone to pay attention to you.

You’re a uni student, right? You can’t act like that once you start working properly.

Futa: Huh!? Shut up. Not like I care what you say. Even though we’re in this shitty situation, you’re just chatting away, it’s stupid. Aren’t you the one who’s acting out of place here? ……also the fact you give everyone nicknames is just gross.

Mikoto: *sigh* It’s more stupid to be taking this all so seriously. I mean, it’s definitely just a reality TV program. There’s no way a real prison exists that’s this lax. Also, I don’t give nicknames to everyone. I don’t give them to young kids like Amane, or to the hard-to-approach types like Shidou-san. I mean, I’m not giving you one, right?

Futa: ……oi, which group are you trying to say I am?

Because he's like genuinely concerned and trying to make sure Haruka and Futa don't go through what he has. This is again why, in my opinion, the series implies it was him that encouraged and guided Haruka on how to work on his communication skills,

20/06/05

Haruka: Ah…… ah, u-um, Mikoto-san. The c-communication……? thing, that you were saying was important. I-I thought, I’d give it my best…… Um, so, Mikoto-san, what’s your favourite food……?

Mikoto: Ooh? Nice going, Haru-kun~ Yeah, we still have no idea how long this lifestyle will go on for, so it’s best if we all get along together here. My favourite food…… I like pasta and horse-meat sashimi. Also bubble tea, and recently I’ve been big on custard puddings. What about you?

Haruka: ……ah, I, I wonder…… H-hamburg steak, and omurice, a-and also…… what else? Ah. Cotton candy……

Mikoto: C-cotton candy!? That’s the first time I’ve met someone who has that in their top three favourites!? ……man, Haru-kun, you really are hilarious.

Along with why, and I have to stress this again in my opinion, the minigrams consistently highlight his communication skills through him talking people through miscommunications or trying to teach them about the work environment.

However, going into the workforce, undiagnosed increases the chances of having those sorts of experiences. Because no one is aware of the issues one may have and are less likely to accommodate them. Yes, even if the person working over/in charge of them has a diagnoses of their own. Even the person themselves isn't aware this is an issue, so why would other people, whether they have been diagnosed or not, assume they had an issue. No one can just tell, regardless of how well they think they know the signs.

Being treated this way actively encourages or enforces the idea that people pleasing or being more palatable is necessary for one's basic survival. Because it's either suck it up and be nice or have no income, then wind up homeless. It's not as easy as saying they seem like they're forcing it, just be yourself, set boundaries. Because literally people who go undiagnosed may have been hearing things like this for years,

Be nicer, that wasn't the proper way to respond to that even if they did/said x, you should know better, don't stoop to their level, have some self-restraint, read the room, how about self-reflecting on what you could have done better in that instance, I'm ashamed of how you responded to that and you should be too that's not how I raised you to be,

Q.10 Do you ever get angry at other people?

Mikoto: I don’t really. Don’t you think it’s kinda shameful, getting mad.

I've experienced it first hand with this very fandom a senseless amount of times. People who project tone on words when there is none then feel the need to make that a me problem. Tell me how I could have written it in a more palatable way. Instead of asking why they read it that way- They jump to tone policing.

Something people who weren't diagnosed early have to deal with all their lives even after they receive a diagnosis at times. People picking apart how they can be better constantly becomes their normal, and then they end up doing the same thing to others. Sometimes simply because that's how they were taught to show concern for those around them.

Than the kicker- Others who actually know them will say things like,

You're kind of a pushover, you responded to that way too nicely, you need to stick up for yourself more, you shouldn't let people treat you like that. It is a fun (fun used here sarcastically) bag of mixed signals that no one would know how to interpret after it happens enough.

So, now-

"It’s the same anywhere I go. It’s like what’s wrong isn’t wrong."

It doesn't matter where they are or who they're talking to. The issue is always them,

"I’m already the fake one."

Yes, being disgnosed comes with it's own plethora of issues, and this plays into whether one pursues disgnosis, if they tell others they're diagnosed, or pursue things like accommodations at all once they receive a diagnoses. However, not having a diagnosis at all completely removes the option of even pursuing help when needed, telling people what the problem is, and puts complete responsibility for one's errors on the person themselves regardless of if they have a disability.

I don't think it's fair for people to judge that experience when they are unwilling to interrogate these simple environmental factors. Because I'm well aware of how people in this evironment take things I'm going to make this very clear this isn't a call out, I'm not speaking vaguely about any specific individual, I'm talking about a topic that impacts me on a deeply personal level for the benefit of myself.

I'm not responsible for the tone others put on me in their head. No one is responsible for how others wilfully choose to misread them. Plus, strangers on the internet aren't owed any personal details about my life so they can deliberate on whether they respect my opinion or not.

I am not willing to go into further detail on this, and that's my boundary.

[oatslemonade]

I have an account on AO3/Archive of Our Own. I'm OatsLemonade over there too. Always read fanfiction Tags/lables/warnings/ratings.

Here's the link to the main fanfiction

Over there, I have a Fan Fiction series about the Murder Time Trio, as Bitties. Here is a sample chapter of the series, plus related artwork.

*********************

*********************

Nightmare did not need mortal food. He was perfectly fine with feeding off the Negativity of Humans and Monsters.

But he started to enjoy Mortal snacks when Killer became his employee. At first he would return with little candy bars or other small items that could fit in his much smaller inventory.

He'd remark with such things as, "that chump was a walking disaster, but they knew their treats!" He'd hand over whatever he thought he'd like, while giving his report. It wasn't needed, but appreciated.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

Killer's cat, Orange Peal, started to hunt.

Nightmare thought it commendable. The feline's only job was to keep Killer company. The fact it decided on its own to keep the local rodent population down was a bonus. The rats would sometimes dare to damage his books.

One day the cat... Well it was between kittenhood and adulthood, began to leave dead rats at his office door.

"You don't need to prove you are hunting. That is not your job." Nightmare said to the cat.

Orange Peal meowed at him. A fresh kill laid at his paws. He yowled at the Guardian of Negativity. He knelt down and pushed the rodent towards Nightmare.

"... You did a good job of vanquishing your enemy?" He was answered with another yowl. "What are you trying to communicate?"

Killer used the Bitty sized walkway. He liked being at Nightmare's eye level. As he rounded the corner he was confused seeing his Boss try to talk to his cat. Killer smirked.

"Boss? Have you never dealt with a cat before?" He leaned against the wall. "Cats sometimes kill prey and bring them back to... Those they think can't hunt for themselves." His smirk was wide.

"Are you telling me, that your cat is insulting me?" Nightmare asked.

"Nope. He might be worried. He never sees you eat." Killer jumped down and petted Orange Peal. "Plus it's a normal cat thing. They just think they're doing their part to keep their loved ones happy and healthy." He lovingly head bonked his pet.

"Do I need to eat the dead vermin?"

"No! Just no! Do not eat random dead things he brings you. Just praise him and wait until he's gone to dispose of the dead rats." Killer explained.

"As I said before, you did a good job."

"I think he wants a head pat or a treat." Killer added.

Nightmare used one of his tentacles to gently pat the cat's back. He was rewarded with a deep purr.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

Dust held so much power, and a much larger inventory. It took months for the small Monster to show any level of affection towards Nightmare. But one day, Dust brought Nightmare a whole restaurant's worth of fast food.

It was greasy and so odd. It was very modern food. Nothing like what he experienced in his childhood. It didn't seem appealing, but he chose the least greasy item, a fried chicken salad and ate some in front of Dust.

"Thank you Dust. The breading is delightful." Nightmare gave a small smile. He enjoyed the fact that Dust becoming more sociable the most, but the salad wasn't bad.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

Horror was the last of the trio to join. The Bitty grew up in a proper Bitty colony. Unlike Killer and Dust, that had grown up like small pets. He was the most polite out of the three.

He was taught practical life skills like cooking.

One evening Nightmare heard the intercom buzz. "Hey Boss! Horror wants everyone to eat together tonight for dinner! That includes you! See you at the table in an hour!" Killer spoke with such excitement.

Nightmare glanced at the clock on the wall. "I will join you then. I'll finish up this last plan." He didn't need to eat, but he didn't want to disappoint his employees. According to Horror, mealtime is a traditional time to bond as a group.

When Nightmare arrived at the dining table he was surprised his henchmen set him a plate and teacup his size. It was thoughtful.

The three Bitties used the Bitty bridge to cross from the kitchen to the dinning room table. Dust used his gravity magic to levitate the meal. A full roasted chicken, potatoes, carrots, other vegetables and bread rolls.

"Horror, did you use the full sized kitchen just to make a large enough quantity to include me?" The Guardian was surprised. He was expecting a small Bitty sized meal... "How did you manage to prepare all of this?"

"I had Dust do the heavy lifting. Honestly cooking isn't hard once everything is in place." Horror answered. "Go on, dish yourself up." He warmly smiled.

Nightmare took a little of everything. He bit into the potato, it was more than he imagined. Never in his entire life, had he had a home cooked meal. As a child he and his brother foraged for their meals and gave up when they realized they fed off of Positivity and Negativity. The feeling of intent was overwhelming. Horror's cooking translated his feelings of thankfulness, purpose and loyalty.

"I don't have words. I never had such good food."

"Boss! That's just the potato! Try some of the chicken! And later there's dessert!" Killer butted in.

"Shh that was supposed to be a surprise! But I made cheesecake." Horror mumbled. A blush blossomed on his face at the praise.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

"Do you know why the Boss called us to his office?" Dust asked.

"No clue, but I don't think there's anything to worry about." Killer replied. "He seemed chill."

"I smell tea, and cookies." Horror stated.

The two Bitties looked at Horror. Killer rang the intercom. "Hey Boss, we're here!"

The door opened, revealing Nightmare sitting on the office couch. Orange Peal purred in his lap. The coffee table had a whole Bitty sized tea set. On a regular plate were a couple of cookies broken up into several uneven tiny pieces.

"Boss?" Killer was pleasantly surprised. "Did you..."

"I made tea," Nightmare shifted. "I got the tea set at a shop... But I couldn't manage to make miniature cookies. They kept burning up. I decided to make one big cookie and divided it up." He straightened up. "All of you have been doing very well at your missions. I wanted to show you... What Horror called team bonding with food."

"Boss...it looks great! Thanks." Killer praised.

Horror ate some of the cookie crumbs. "Love it!"

Dust took a cup into his hands. He looked into his reflection, closed his eyes and breathed in the aroma. Dust took a sip. "I like the blend." Dust's mind wandered off to bittersweet memories as he smiled.

Nightmare didn't need mortal food. But he enjoyed what came with it.

[rogue-durin-16]

THINGS NEVER GO AS PLANNED (Part II/VII)

"candy floss"

Summary: After Fred's death, George and Y/n lean on each other to carry on. This wasn't the most brilliant idea, though; George was pretty much in love with the girl, and Y/n— well, she had been dating Fred prior to the Battle of Hogwarts.

Pairing: George Weasley x Reader

Genre: angst

Tags:

Suggested by: @crispykittywitch

Things never go as planned: @sarcasticallywitty15 @beautyschoo1dropout @s1ut4georgeweasley @leovaldez37 @missmulti @weasleywh0r3s

Permanent taglist: @elia-the-bibliophile @randomparanoid @karlthecat15722 @thebutchersdaughtersblog

Warnings: grief, feels, brief mention of Fred x Reader ig?

A/N: I decided to name the parts bc why the fuck not so keep an eye on the titles 👀. This story is based off this convo and these headcanons. If you wanna be tagged in the next parts tell me, and enjoy <3

Prologue :the aftermath

Part I : sleepless nights

Part III: shock therapy

Part IV: wrong name

Part V: the perfect excuse

Part VI: the downfall

Part VII: apart

Epilogue: I still love you

Rogue-durin-16 masterlist

The moment the last group of customers decided it was time to call it a day and exited the shop, I left the till counter and grabbed my wand from my pocket, instantly turning the sign in the door so it could be read from outside 'closed'.

A sigh escaped my lips as I leaned against the multicolored wooden rail.

I was drained.

The shop helped our minds to get distracted and stray from the grief, yes, but it was also exhausting.

We had been subconsciously overworking ourselves to the point where it was borderline self-destructive.

It didn't help that I was throwing myself into comforting George, either. I could not be blamed for doing that, though; he was broken.

A part of me, the rational one, knew he would pick up the pieces and build himself up again, it would just take a lot of time.

There was another part of me, though, that depressed, drained part, that was beginning to think he would never heal by himself —maybe he wouldn't heal at all— but still held onto the hope that, if I tried hard enough, I would be able to mend what had been broken in him.

A terrible idea, really, because I started to dismiss in its entirety my own miserable, damaged state.

And George, ever the caring, sensible one, would have noticed that; he would have made me realize I was not doing nearly as well as I thought, he would have talked some sense into me, but he wouldn't— he couldn't, because George was lost in an ocean of grief, trying so hard not to drown that he wasn't able to notice I was trying to aid him from my very own sinking boat.

It also seemed to be working; he was more animated, slept more soundly, and his smile was a bit brighter even —at least the one he had for me.

"Rough day?" My eyes, which I didn't know I had closed, fluttered open at George's voice.

"Very."

He walked to me with a tinge of guilt in his face. "You know we can switch places, right?" I had been working as the public face of the shop since we had reopened, and George had taken on the task of doing the paperwork and shippings instead, showing up from time to time to help me and to let people know there was still a Weasley running the business.

I had been the one to suggest this, since I knew George had compromised with reopening only because of me, and he was clearly not ready to put up a sociable, positive attitude for dozens of people every day.

"Nah, it's fine like this." I assured him with a reassuring smile.

He measured me with his eyes for a second; I couldn't really tell if he saw through me or not. "So I was preparing the today's shippings," he rocked a tiny purple basket I quickly recognised in front of me. "I found this in the back of the stockroom."

"Are those—?"

"Candy floss cupcakes, yes." A year and a half ago we had bought five baskets of candy floss cupcakes from Honeydukes per George's request in order to unsuccessfully try and implement them.

"Are they even edible anymore?" I couldn't help but laugh.

"I hope so?" He chuckled too, tearing the film covering the sweets. "Thought we might as well finish them."

My eyes travelled from the basket to him and viceversa before stating, "well I'm hungry so..."

"Same here." He was the first one to pull out a pastel colored cupcake, though he handed it to me. "Wanna get food poisoning together?" Laughing, I gave him a nod as he grabbed his own cupcake. "At the count of three?"

"One"

"Two"

"Three." We said in unison right before taking a bite of our respective madeleines.

I frowned at its surprisingly good flavour. "Am I delirious or are they actually edible?"

"Dunno," he shoved the rest of his cupcake into his mouth with a shrug. "maybe we're just starving."

"Go big or go home, I guess." I finished my cupcake before leaning on the basket to pick another one. My head snapped up with my brow quirked when I heard a soft chuckle. "What?"

"Nothing." George shook his head, motioning at the stairs. "Shall we sit down?" I followed his lead, sitting on the stairs and waiting for him, who had stepped towards the drinks aisle to grab a couple of juice bottles, to do the same.

We stayed there, eating and drinking in a comfortable silence until the basket was empty and our eyelids threatened to shut.

"I think we should head back to the flat." He spoke, leaving the half empty juice aside so he could stretch.

"I'm gonna learn how to cook." I stated, getting up. "We can't get by based on most likely expired sweets and whatever is in the Leaky Cauldron menu."

"Aight." He mimicked my actions, picking up the stuff we left on the stairs. "We will learn the basics tomorrow." He got behind me and began to gently push in the flat's direction. "But now we're gonna get some sleep, miss."

I would be lying if I said my heartbeat didn't pick up when his hands landed on my shoulder blades and made their way to rub both my arms reassuringly.

I would be lying if I denied I leaned back when he did that, letting myself get closer to his chest.

And I would definitely be lying if I said I didn't crave going back to my room so I could cuddle him all night.

One Week Later

"—right in the cauldron, love." I pointed at the cauldron besides me, giving a sweet smile to the kid in front of me, visibly going to be sick thanks to the free sample of Skiving Snackboxes.

"Y/n!" I spun around at the loud calling of my name above the shop's racket. I was able to discern a long, red mane flowing fast towards my position right on time for the owner to wrap her arms around me.

"Glad to see you too, Ginny." I laughed, trying not to lose balance due to her enthusiasm. "How come you're here?" I questioned, pulling away.

"We heard you were open." Harry walked up to me, appearing from behind the girl, "And thought we'd pay a visit to our friends, right?" Ginny nodded, looking around while Harry gave me a quick, yet comforting hug. "Where's George?"

I motioned up to the small office, redirecting the couple's eyes to the second floor. "Doing paperwork���AH!" I jolted when a pair of hands tickled my sides, my head snapping to see the towering ginger standing behind me. "Speaking of the devil."

"I thought I saw Gin through the window," George explained, his hands lingering on my waist for long enough to his sister to stare, before pulling Ginny into a tight hug. "And came down to check if she was distracting my employee."

"You got her all bored here, mate." Harry pointed out, a light joking tone in his voice.

"And you're the one supposed to help with that?" George rolled his eyes dramatically. "Pfft... What a world we live in." With the said, he gave the boy a side hug. I heard Harry murmur an 'We missed you' before they pulled away with a pat on the shoulder.

My gaze landed on the youngest Weasley, whose welled up eyes were trained on her older brother's half smile. I only averted my eyes and waited for her to discreetly wipe away the unspilled tears while Harry and George catched up.

By the letters she had sent me, I reckoned the last time she had been near George, he had been lifeless; seeing a glimpse of who was once one of the most cheerful, funny and charismatic people in her life, was probably poignant to Ginny.

I hadn't realized she had moved closer until I didn't hear her soft voice. "Thank you." I offered her a confused smile, though deep down I knew what she meant.

Two Days Later

George was having one of those days.

We both knew it was coming soon; it had to happen sooner rather than later, since he had been in a surprisingly good mood for almost a week. I suspected seeing Harry and Ginny had brought back the events of the Second of May.

I suggested to close the shop for the day, since he was unable to move out of bed; he refused to do so, but I convinced him to stay in the flat and rest —it was Tuesday, anyway; I wouldn't have to handle many customers.

Due to that, when I saw Hermione, Ron, Bill and Fleur entered the shop, it was understandable that I hadn't become the happiest person in the world.

I greeted them, there were hugs, kisses, and even a joke or two, and when Bill asked about George, I excused him without giving much detail.

They understood.

Fleur was the one to restart the conversation, lightening a bit before requesting a tour for the shop, since she had not yet been there.

It was when we reached the love potions that Hermione, using the fact that Fleur was very much interested in the product, held my hand and pulled me aside.

"So... how are you doing?" The frown in her face, the fact that she was whispering, the squeeze her hand gave mine, let me know she had read me the moment her eyes met mines.

I sighed with a shrug.

"You can tell me." Could I? "No one's asking you to put on a happy face, Y/n." The girl assured me, her eyes digging into mines. "It's not just George, we all lost—" she shook her head at her own words before correcting herself. "you lost him too."

I lost him too.

I bit my lower lip to stop it from quivering.

The memory of Fred's broken smile as his corpse laid on the stretcher, that memory that haunted my dreams, appeared vividly before my eyes.

My lips started to burn with the ghost of that kiss he gave me before we split up, him with Percy and me with George; it hadn't been meant to be a goodbye kiss. It was meant to be a good luck kiss.

I covered my mouth to muffle a sob, and Hermione's arms were quick to be wrapped around me, reassuringly rubbing my back.

GEORGE'S P. O. V.

I saw them entering from Y/n's balcony; I wasn't emotionally ready to face them all at the same time, but when I didn't see them exit, I figured Y/n hadn't been able to dismiss them.

I decided I owed to them all to bite the bullet, so I threw on a shirt and the first trousers I grabbed, cleaned up a bit and left the flat.

With a deep breath, I made it to the second floor and mentally prepared myself to go down to the first one.

As I began to climb down, though, I noticed Hermione and Y/n talking in private, closer than the others to the stairs.

I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but all my senses were automatically focused on Y/n whenever we were in the same room; she just stole me away from reality.

"You lost him too."

Hermione's words visibly triggered something on Y/n.

'Something', as if I didn't know what they had triggered, as if I didn't know what— who was on her mind.

I guess he was always on her mind, though.

What was left of my heart shattered in a million pieces when she broke down to tears —for several reasons—. "I miss him." She whispered in Hermione's shoulder. "I miss him so much."

If I had any tears left, I would have cried my eyes out right there. Had I been so selfish that I had disregarded how she was feeling? So blinded by the light and love and warmth she was constantly giving me that I had forgotten about her grief? Was I that bad of a person, that I would have rather live in the illusion that she had not lost the boy she was dating?

My mind told me I didn't want any of those questions answered.

"George!" As Ron yelled my name in surprise, Hermione and Y/n pulled away, the latter rubbing her eyes while both of my brothers jogged upstairs to hug me. "Ginny told us you're open—"

"But Y/n said you weren't feeling well." Bill finished, squeezing my shoulder. "We only stayed a little longer for Fleur to see the shop."

"Yeah, we'll come back tomorrow," Ron assured me. "So you can rest and..."

My brother's voice sounded further and further with each word; I felt myself drifting off, getting lost in my own mind and gravitating towards the same thought over and over.

She deserves better.