#i'm not usually in aaron's head so it's interesting trying to find songs to fit him

[ittyybittybaker]

happy sunday! here's my all for the game/ palmetto state foxes playlist to get y'all through the week

just like all my other mixes, this is in no particular order so i'd listen on shuffle. these are songs that remind me of the series as a whole/the foxes as a rag-tag group of underdogs, or are songs that i think more than one character would relate to.

if there's any songs you absolutely feel should be added, let me know !! i also started a mix of fandom-suggested songs that don't exactly fit my personal music taste but fit the series that i can add to as well! i'm always updating/changing these so nothing's set in stone lol

i hope people like it! i had a lot of fun finding songs that i thought fit the series.

here's my neil mix if you missed it!

[maladaptive-jcb]

Chapter 7: I See You

Jamie x female!reader

(fluff, safe for under 18)

Click here for chapter 6 if you missed it

Summary: Reader is an independent artist who lives on her own in a small town and meets Jamie, a musician, in an art studio where their budding relationship formed through shared interests of different forms of art.

Warning: There will be talks about trauma and PTSD from sexual assault, domestic abuse and dissociative episodes throughout the story.

I haven't felt like visiting the beach in a very long time. I try to avoid any swimming activities mostly so I can hide my skin better. It doesn't matter what kind of swimsuit I'll wear, the vulnerability will always overwhelm me and somehow it makes me believe that people will stare right at me… at my scars. It's now looking right back at me on my mirror reflection. I haven't worn this two piece bikini in so long. I wore it so much when I was back home and spending so many summers with my family. I chose this today specifically to make me feel better. And maybe… Just, maybe, I can make better memories with Jamie with this.

Yet, as I'm running through my fingers on my scars, my mind still flashes back to a certain awful memory. That night…

Aaron didn't notice I was bleeding. He was too drunk to notice much. I had to cover the cuts with pieces of clothes I could find in my closet. He was so full of rage that he turned off the lights in our room and passed out right after all his drinking. While I was wincing from pain, I tried laying next to him silently. It was a sleepless night for me until morning came and I drove myself to the hospital. The doctors told me that they found tiny shards of glass in my wounds and it took them almost an hour to clean them up before the cuts were stitched.

Everything went by so fast that I didn't even have time to process it during the incident. It even took me a while to finally realize how wrong the situation was towards me. And I guess, what hurt the most wasn't the wound and glass shards. It was my broken trust and love I had for him. His love, or so I thought, dissipated. He never looked at me like he used to anymore. I was no longer enough for him.

I turn to look at the mirror again. My lips are quivering.

Ding!

I shake my thoughts away and shift my focus to my phone. It's Jamie. He says that he's 10 minutes away from my apartment.

I grab my light, breezy beach dress and quickly put it on over my bikini. I can't do this again. I'll have to be strong for Jamie this time. With one final big exhale and gulping my glass of water, I calm myself down.

____

Jamie is wearing a slick back ponytail that highlights his cheekbones and jawlines even more than usual. His black form-fitting T-shirt with the sleeves rolled up a little bit flatters along with it. He has a really particular fashion sense and it's always working for him.

"Guess what I brought?" he asks excitedly.

I look at the backseat. "A basket?"

"A picnic basket, darling. Oh, and a blanket too so we can sit together," he raises his eyebrows in glee.

"Jamie, these are wonderful!"

"I hope you like bagels, blueberry muffins and juice boxes. I'm sorry, I… I haven't done grocery shopping yet," he scratches the back of his head.

"Stop, it's perfect! I wished you would have told me though I could have brought something!"

"You brought yourself. That's enough for me," he turns to wink at me.

After all these times, I still get flustered whenever he does that. I immediately turn my head the other way to the window. I hear him chuckling silently and then turning up the music that's playing on the radio. The music fills the air. It's nice. It's an R&B song I haven't heard before which is now followed by a low humming following the tunes. The melody of his voice captures my attention. I catch myself smiling as I silently listen to him, enjoying his sweet, sort of raspy voice that tugs my heart in ways that I haven't experienced before. I stare at him in admiration as he starts singing. He looks so serene.

"What?" He notices and smiles back.

"You were singing. It's… lovely. I love it," I smile at him.

"Really?" He almost looks surprised at my compliment. "Y/n, you're so sweet. Thank you."

"You're very talented. I'd really like to see you sing and play your music sometime."

"Actually, I'd really like to show you something that I've been working on. It's still a work in progress by the way so go easy on me."

"I'd love to hear it," my heart jumps at the thought.

He turns to me and asks again, "Would you like for me to continue singing?"

"Please."

Jamie sings throughout the ride and the sound of his tender vocals sent me into a deeper state of peace. My body sinks deeper into my seat and my eyelids suddenly feel a lot more relaxed than usual. I haven't felt this relaxed in so long.

_____

I feel a warm hand gently touching my face. Almost like trying to move my hair away from my face.

"Hey, y/n. We're almost here."

Shit.

I sit upright immediately. "Jamie, I'm so sorry I didn't mean to fall asleep!"

He laughs. "You're absolutely fine. Look!" He points to my right.

I turn to look and my gaze is met with the beautiful blue ocean that fills the horizon as we drive down the road. The sun is almost setting and the sky is painted with breathtaking colours of orange and blue as the sunlight glistens around the clouds.

"Wow," is all I could say.

"I know." He exclaims back. "I gotta tell you though the view of you sleeping is a thousand times better than this."

I gasp and turns towards him. He's holding his laughter. "Shut up, Jamie!", his arm is met with a smack from me.

"Alright little beast, not too hard. I'm driving here," he chuckles.

I adjust myself and straighten up before Jamie pulls over to park near the beach. We step out of the car together as Jamie holds the picnic basket. The breeze coming from the ocean feels cooler the closer we walk towards it. Jamie is now spreading his arms apart to feel the breeze and just taking it all in. I suddenly notice that my dress starts waving with the wind too. l sense a little panic when I remember what is hiding underneath.

"Let's lay our stuff out there," he points towards a spot with a tree over it. A little further from the shore but close enough to have a good view of everything. The sun is setting and it's such a beautiful view. It's been a while since I've seen a view like this up close. I've missed this.

I pull out my phone and hand it over to Jamie. "Take a picture of me with the view!"

"Alright, go stand over there!" He starts taking photos and gives me directions on how to pose. Jamie even tells me to jump as he counts to three. I start laughing and tell him that I got everything I need.

"Nope. One more!" He runs towards me, puts his arm around my shoulders and holds my phone up for a selfie. He sticks his tongue out and takes the picture.

"No! I wasn't ready!" I try to grab my phone from him but he quickly snatches his hand away. He just smiles and looks at the screen.

"God, you look beautiful," he says and hands me the phone. His clear blue eyes looking down at me in admiration.

"Oh shut up," I shove him playfully to hide the warmth in my cheek.

He just chuckles and finally hands me my phone.

"Well come on, let's sit," he nods his head towards our laid out blanket on the sand.

We both sit and he starts opening up the picnic basket. "Alright, miss. Would you like to see the specials on the menu today?" he says in an amusing manner.

"Aahh yes the blueberry muffin, sir," I say, committing to his bit.

We laugh while we eat and chat as the sun is setting. Jamie's muffins are delicious. Apparently he actually baked it the day before but couldn't finish it so he brought them for me. Of course he also bakes. I look at him, wondering what else has he not told me about?

Everything feels right. The view of the beach. The crashing waves. The warm sand in our toes. Seeing children playing around with the sound of their laughter in the distance. I feel so at peace for the first time in a long time.

"I knew you needed this," he says as if he just read my mind.

"Hmm?"

"The beach. There's… something about it. When you step into one it's like nature's telling you that you need to slow down in life too. The chaos in our minds… just goes away," he says as he stares at the ocean.

I put my head on his shoulder. "Thank you. For this."

He lifts his arm and put it over my shoulder. I just wish this moment lasts forever. Yes, the beach is breathtakingly amazing. The colours of the sky is like a real life painting. However, what makes the moment perfect is Jamie. Being right here with me.

We stare at the sun setting real low as we lean on each other. After a while, I feel his shoulder starts shifting and I look up at him.

He looks at me and asks, "Would you like to swim for a bit?"

My body freezes again. I want to say something but I just start stuttering in my words.

"Hey, hey. What's wrong? Are you okay?" I hear him say as I try to control the tightness in my chest.

I try to control my breathing as much as I can before saying something. Jamie immediately notices my shaky hand clutching on my waist.

"Hey, hey, hey. You're okay. You're okay. Listen to me. You're safe," he keeps repeating in my ears while he holds me.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry," is all I can say as I regain my breath control.

"Nothing is going to change the way I look at you. I promise," he calms me again in his low tone voice.

"I'm okay. I'm okay, I'm so sorry," are all the words that come out of me.

"No, don't you dare apologize for this. Look, we don't have to if you don't want to-"

"It's okay. I want to," I cut him off.

"Okay," he stands up and holds his hand out to take mine. I take his hand and pulls myself up.

"Can you… turn around first?" I ask him.

"Of course." He smiles and turns his back. I hear him taking off his shirt as I take mine off too. I take a deep breath for a minute to calm myself. Then, a tap on my shoulder.

"Are you ready?" He checks up on me.

I exhale. I look down to my waist and turn around slowly. I can't seem to find the courage to look up to his expression for the first time seeing me like this. I just can't and-

His fingers. I feel them on my chin.

Jamie lifts my face up to look at his. He beams like I have never seen him does before.

"You look fucking amazing," he smiles. Genuinely smiling.

"What?"

"You are smoking, y/n. That's what I'm saying."

I start laughing and then I feel the stream of tears falling down on my face. He then starts laughing with me as he gently wipes my tears away with his thumbs. I fall to his chest and feel his embrace. He likes me. I know that now.

"So you don't mind?" I ask.

"Nothing will ever change the way I see you."

Chapter 8 ______

Sorry I've been away from writing in a while but I'm finally back on my trip! I'm so glad I could continue this again and I hope you enjoy these really vulnerable moments in the chapter. I'm excited to continue again!