#i'm not using twitter anymore so im putting my twitter thoughts here

[hazelsmirrorball]

Roses | Oscar Piastri

SUMMARY: After Rumors go around that Oscar was a ghost boyfriend he decides to show up for his ex girlfriend most important night FACE CLAIM: Lola Tung pairings: Actress! Reader x Oscar Piastri

via twitter!

yn via insta stories! oscarpiastri via insta stories

posted five minutes ago deleted five minutes ago

yn via instagram

liked by ybffs_instagram, olivia.rodrigo, landonorris and 1,230,340 others

yourusername Life recently ever since I decided to be happy

tagged: ybffs_instagram, davidiancono

view all comments

user101 the shade? mother leaves for six months and comes back in her reputation era. Love that for her.

user10 I feel that lando liking this post means so much more than just a like

user151 Y/n doesn't follow Oscar anymore. Help.

davidiancono TEAM CAM CAMERON

ybffs_instagram girl finally ur back

olivia.rodrigo I missed you so so much.

user590 I'm sorry but this being post not even after an hour of Oscar deleted story makes me go insane.

user191 they are not broken up! Talk to the hand

y/nandoscarupdates via instagram.

liked by by ybffs_instagram,user178 and 1,000 more.

y/nandoscarupdates a close source to the couple informed us that Oscar Piastri and Y/n L/n have called it quits. They've been broken up for around two months now. Sources say that Oscar and Y/n couldn't make time to see each other due to their busy schedules.

view all comments

user10 is the close source y/bff/n? because I think she just e3xposed herself by liking this post

user15 im sorry but didn't y-n go to every single race Oscar had last season? I never once saw Oscar showing up to her things.

user192 I think you guys are siding with Oscar because my girl was always alone in premiers while Oscar always had her by his side.

y/nupdates just posted

liked by user101, user15, oscarpiastri and 178,000 others.

y/nupdates what we are not going to do is hate on this poor girl. I'm sorry but I don't think that updates account is correct. Y/n was noting but supportive in the relationship, I truly believe she went to everything she could. Oscar on the other hand....when did we see him in one of her events? Im sorry but the support wasn't mutual.

view all comments

user13 touch some grass. you are acting as if you were also in the relationship.

user16 Oscar liked? what does this even mean?

user98 what does this add to their lore

yn via instagram

liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris and 1,345, 569 others

yourusername Opening night for Hadestown! Forever grateful of giving Eurydice life.

view all comments

user134 Oscar liking this? guys I need peace

user126 omg! im so so proud of you

user928 our girl is taking broadway by storm

oscarpiastri as they say in theater break a leg

landonorris what is Oscar doing here?

user119 lando wants to start drama

...

Y/n paced back and forth in her dressing room, her nerves taking up her complete body. It was her first show in broadway. She knew they were going to be critics watching her every move. It was different from anything she had ever done before. Yes, she had acted and she did musical theater when she was in highschool but this was something completely different. This wasn’t a school production, this was an actual professional thing that could affect her career. She stopped in front of her dressing room mirror forcing a smile. It was her opening night and sadly none of her close friends were able to show up, different countries or schedules made it hard for them to show up, which she completely understood. But maybe a familiar face in the crowd could ease her nerves. A soft knock on the door stopped her train of thought. She quickly turned her head toward the door watching the assistant manager peak her head through. 

“Hi Y/n! Sorry for interrupting, You have a visitor that wanted to see you before the show started. Since you didn’t specifically put anyone in your visitor list, I wanted to see if it was okay.” She said quickly, knowing her duties she had a lot of things on her plate and the thing she least needed to worry about was about her visitors. Y/n quickly shook her head, not even asking who the “surprise visitor" was to cut their conversation short. She quickly left and a few seconds later a familiar face smiled shyly your way. Your eyes wandered over his body failing on the red flowers he was gripping tightly. 

“Oscar, what are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be in Australia?” She asked furrowing her eyebrows confused as she didn’t want to get closer to him afraid that he was an act of her imagination. 

“I couldn’t miss your special day, Y/n. I know we aren’t together anymore but you were always by my side in my important days. Even my less important ones. I wanted to support you, I know how important this is for you. So I wanted to see you on your first ever broadway show but if you want, I can leave.” Oscar replied while extending the flowers as you pulled him closely into a bone crushing hug.

yn via insta stories! oscarpiastri via insta stories

[laebrumme]

Arlefuri is Interesting, Actually

So I was put onto a twitter thread that's been circulating around the Arlefuri community, and I was feeling to be in a bit of a fighting mood and I found a couple points brought up by the author to be the starting point for some more interesting discussions regarding fandom culture, so I decided it wouldn't hurt to have a "little" discussion around this thread and the points that are brought up.

A quick reminder here that I am not going to link the thread or use the author's name anywhere in here because this is not an attack post. While I am here to defend a ship that I really like and see a lot of value in against a really silly twitter post, I am not here to attack or be aggressive to anyone. This is something we really need to understand and my least favorite part about twitter is how it discourages thoughtful and elaborate response, which is why I'm writing this on my tumblr instead of writing a QRT or something. I want this to be thought out and civil, and there's a very good chance that the thread was written entirely in good faith, however questionable some of the arguments made are.

the amount of arlefuri shippers ive seen that keep going "you just hate it bc its yuri" without actually seeing an explanation why its such a good ship and why they keep defending it like its so canon.

Something that I've noticed as someone who has only been engaging in fandom for about a year and a half now and who got to see Arlefuri pretty much grow from inception to now is that, after a while (especially on platforms such as twitter that are so thoroughly infected by hate and aggression) communities will develop defense mechanisms based on certain patterns of how they've been attacked before. Especially in communities which are highly antagonized for one reason or another, it's easier to have a short list of most-likely reasons someone is attacking their ship than to actually engage with the argument. One of the most reliable and effective canned arguments that one might find in a particularly combative yuri enthusiast's toolbelt is the "you don't like yuri," or, in more extreme examples, the misogyny argument.

I'm not going to get into the MLM vs WLW in fandom discourse here because, quite frankly, I'm not interested and it's completely not related to anything going on here, however the argument is common within WLW ship communities because of the tension that exists between MLM, m/f, and WLW communities, especially because in a huge number of fandoms, MLM far outnumbers the WLW. It's a reliable argument to so many because, more often than not, the anti's argument is coming from a place of anti-yuri sentiment.

In the case of Arlefuri, attacks are so frequent that, for those that decide not to block and move on, it's more efficient to pull out a tool from the toolbelt instead of engaging with each and every anti post. Arlefuri shippers are, to put it bluntly, sick and tired of it and just kinda want to do their own thing.

yes, this sounds very yuriphobic as smn who ships renheng but i do ship yuri ships like acheswan, bronseele, clorivia, eimiko, and many more. not that im against rarepairs, but arlefuri is hardly a rarepair anymore, and the way the shippers are defending it, makes it feel like its as implied as the ships i mentioned above

I mean, doesn't everyone do this? Something else I've noticed is that every single HYV ship that has even the smallest basis in the canon has people that consistently go on about how, because of certain observations regarding design/symbolism/voice lines, the ship is canon. It's important to remember, though, that lot of it is playful banter or reactions borne of excitement, and very rarely are people actually insisting that Arlefuri is canon or even implied to be canon. Because with the exception of HI3 bronseele, there isn't a single HYV ship (that I know of) that is downright confirmed. And yes, that even includes Acheswan.

I think the observation being made here is a result of two things: Arlefuri as a ship just getting bigger, and how fed-up Arlefuri shippers are of being antagonized. The first point is very obvious: the more people there are out there to talk about a ship, the more confident and loud those discussions are going to become. The second one though is more interesting because I think, as a community gets antagonized more and more, a very natural response to people talking poorly about a thing you like is to engage with it even more. A lot of people, instead of taking the fight back to those that are attacking the ship, instead back away from the argument and, as if almost spitefully, engage with the ship even more. Hell, I've even seen some of my fellow arlefuri shippers talk about how this discourse is going to make them ship arlefuri even harder. It's just a natural response almost.

Also I genuinely don't understand what rarepairs have to do with the discussion at hand. It's brought up again later in the thread, and even there I'm not sure what point it's trying to get across. There's a though process there, but whatever it is it isn't communicated in the thread, which is no fault of the thread author since twitter is stupidly restrictive as a platform for arguments and expressing thoughts (that's why I'm writing this on tumblr).

literally what is the 'flavor' and 'dynamic' in arlefuri other than 'happy and grumpy' and 'enemies to lovers'??? they barely have any backstory together other than "girl one traumatizes girl two and gives her cake as an apology because it doesnt benefit her to be on bad terms with girl two". there is nothing appealing about their relationship, and honestly i feel like furina should just be her own person without that romantic nonsense.

Well I'm glad you asked!

Arlefuri is a ship that has a lot of layers and a lot of different interpretations, and I think the only way to get a proper understanding of why so many find the ship appealing is to go out onto the Arlefuri tag on ao3 and read some of more popular fics that are out there. However, I'm going to offer my personal understanding of the ship and why I enjoy it so much.

In short, the allure of Arlefuri to me lies in a simple concept: safety.

I think a lot of the misunderstanding around Arlefuri and why Arlefuri gets accused of being proship so often lies in a misunderstanding of Furina's story and what Arlecchino represents in said story. Namely, Arle wasn't the only person that made Furina feel unsafe during the events of the archon quest. Literally everyone that was involved in that quest was doing practically the exact same thing that Arlecchino did: cornering her into a position which would force her to reveal her identity as "false" archon. So coming out of the archon quest in Fontaine, Furina has not a single soul she can trust in Fontaine anymore because of how thoroughly traumatized she was in those last few days of her run as archon. Every single person involved in discovering the truth behind the Oratrice betrayed Furina in every sense of the word.

Obviously, the game has to make Furina warm up to the traveler for marketing sake (which is one of the only gripes I have about Furina's story), but aside from that, she still has a distaste for people outside. Evidence of this can be seen with how she talks in two distinct vocal modes which I'll get into here more in a bit.

This is all to say that, one, Furina is starting from scratch relationship-wise and can trust nobody, and two, that Arlecchino is no more of an antagonist than anyone else. The only difference is that Arlecchino was more forward with it, and Furina had built her up in her head as the big bad that would finally out the entire operation (that's where Furina's fear of Arlecchino comes from).

Where this all gets interesting is when you consider Arlecchino as pretty much a symbol for all that betrayal that Furina faced. Arlecchino, just like the traveler and crew, cornered her in a position by complete surprise that would, with one more move, force her to either prove herself as archon in one way or another, before they discovered that there's more to the story and moving their attention elsewhere. When you consider Arlecchino as a symbol of that, then what a relationship w/ Arlecchino represents is Furina learning how to trust and feel safe in the presence of other people.

This is a dynamic I explore in my own fic, "What Do You Want?" and is something that is explored to even more depth in the Arlefuri bible, "A Fatui Harbinger in Lady Furina's Court." Hell, even the biggest chapter of my own fic which is the catalyst for the relationship that is explored for the rest of the fic is literally called "Safety." The entire point of the ship is for Furina to find safety in someone and, through Arlecchino, to learn for the first time in her 500 years of life how to trust and love people.

I could continue on about why I enjoy about Arlefuri all day, if you can't tell, and I could start discussing the nuances of their grumpy/happy dynamic and all the gender stuff and various other examples of incredible writing and interpretations of the ship, but I think you get the idea. There's depth here. You just have to look for it.

arlefuri shippers+ships are fine IF you acknowledge that your ship is barely even canon (maybe until more infois released) and that there is no reason to be defending them so hard over very very very little crumbs, when most of those crumbs are actually headcanons that you made up yourself.

Again, nobody is earnestly going out there and defending the canonicity of Arlefuri. We're defending something completely different which I'll discuss in the next section. But even then, why should we? Why is a ship okay only if we acknowledge the lack of canonicity in a ship? We all are taking part in a culture that was literally borne of taking one canon or another and doing really silly things w/ it. That's why our fandom ancestors borrowed the term "canon" from religious studies and applied it to fandom: they needed a way to differentiate the stuff that was officially a part of the media and what was being written by fans.

We're all here to have fun. We're playing with dolls and making them kiss. There is absolutely no harm in us doing our own thing and engaging in a ship just as, say, a renheng shipper would. Just because a ship isn't canon doesn't mean that the shippers have to wear big signs on their backs that say "our ship is not canon and we are aware of that." This point feels strangely targeted in that way.

im not an arlefuri hater, infact, i was indifferent to it because i knew many people would ship it eventually, but seeing the ship grow more and more and the shippers attacking nonshippers with NO explanation on why they are defending such a copium ship is starting to make me hate it.

Okay, here's where the main discussion point is, and this right here is why I'm writing this whole essay/response thing.

This is a strawman.

This is not happening.

Every single Arlefuri shipper I've personally talked to could not care less if you don't like Arlefuri. Not every ship is for everyone, and there's nothing wrong with that. But there's a very big difference between not liking a ship and antagonizing a ship.

One of the things I absolutely hate about fandom is how much power lies in the accusation of being "proship." If someone is able to accuse someone of being proship and that accusation sticks, whether it's true or not, that person is screwed. And the same thing goes for ships. If a ship is successfully labeled as "proship" then that means that everyone that might publicly engage with that ship is going to also be labeled as proship, and that means they're going to be antagonized, even if there is nothing wrong with the ship itself.

Because people misunderstand a single cutscene in the game, people tend to label Arlefuri as, at best, toxic, and at worst, proship. And after a while, this gets tiring, especially for a community that is relatively small.

As stated before, Arlefuri shippers are so tired of being attacked and accused of various things, and because of that, engaging with people that attack the thing that we like in a respectful way becomes really really hard, and at some point, these defense attempts have started to lean more and more aggressive.

This is where I think that perception of Arlefuri shippers being so militant come from: they're defending a ship that they like in a rather aggressive and fed-up way which is very easy to interpret as attacking people for just having opinions.

Like I said before, there's a big difference between not liking a ship and antagonizing a ship.

For some reason, so many people antagonize Arlefuri. And because of how much it happens, responses have become, more often than not, either canned as discussed before, or angry.

i am lgbtqia+, i support and love love lgbtqia+ ships (including hetero ships bht thats for another conversation) but i really dont see why arlefuri is such a popular ship.

I agree, that is a separate conversation, but I find it really odd that the author found it important to spend valuable characters pointing this out.

like i said before, rarepairs are fine and fun, go for it. but if youre going to mindlessly attack people without explaining your reason, you're going to be just like most neuvifuri shippers who like to see 'nonchalant tall person' have sex with 'smaller, more childish (mentally) and petite person'. its not the ship you like, maybe its just the image, the fantasy, the thought. or you're just projecting.

There is a lot to unpack with this last point.

First of all, setting aside accusing arlefuri shippers of attacking again which we've talked about, this is straight up infantilizing Furina. Again, I'm assuming this thread was written in good faith, but if it wasn't, that's an insidious thing to throw into the thread to make that implication. As much as I'm not a fan of nvfr shippers, even they don't deserve that.

Furina is bubbly and energetic, silly and a bit out there, but she is not childish. If you pay attention to any of the quests she's in post Masquerade of the Guilty, you'll notice that (at least in the English dub although I'm assuming it carries to other dubs as well) Furina has two vocal modes with which she speaks: one for when she's in public situations with people she isn't super familiar or trusting with, and one for when she's talking one-on-one with the traveler or otherwise in situations where she feels safe. That latter vocal mode is what almost all of her voice lines in the character menu are spoken in, and is what you can consider her true self (her Ousia version of herself) which is much more thoughtful, calm, and straightforward. When she is acting as her true self, she is incredibly mature and her 500 years of life and stress really start to show.

What I'm assuming the author is thinking of when they call Furina mentally childish is how she acts when she's around various people. This is an act. She still pretends to be someone she's not when she's out and about, and that version of herself (her Pneuma aligned self) is one that is designed to be as appealing as possible: energetic, silly, and slightly arrogant. Once again, it's a character, or if you're more partial to Autistic/neurodivergent Furina headcanons, it's her masking.

Another really weird implication that comes out of this last point (at least to me) is that any and all Arlefuri content is just smut. That's obviously not true--just take my corpus of Arlefuri work as three examples out of however many. And I think it's not fair to judge the morality of most ships purely on the smut. Yes, sex can be a very useful tool for exploring the dynamics of characters, and that is used quite often in Arlefuri (same as literally every other ship known to fandom), but, w/r/t Arlefuri specifically, so much more interesting discussions exist outside of the bedroom, and some of the most seminal and impressive Arlefuri works are those that do not focus around sex. "A Fatui Harbinger in Lady Furina's Court" by DarlingMistaken, yes, is rated Explicit, but only because of one or two chapters. The entirety of the fic is an exploration of Furina's PTSD and the safety dynamic I talked about earlier. Eris's "All Bark No Bite" is completely Arlefuri sex free for the first 16 chapters and has a lot of interesting discussions of Furina's loneliness leading up to the smutty chapters. "Embers" by ChonkCatto is a slow burn romance which dives even deeper to the psychological trauma both Arlecchino and Furina have faced, as well as an exploration of Furina discovering her sexuality. And while I'm not a huge fan of tooting my own horn like this, I'm personally really proud of the discussions I have about power, trust, agency, and how love needn't be loud and passionate in my sister arlefuri fics, "What Do You Want?" and "There Must Be Something Here".

And I also want to point out that literally every ship any of us likes is purely because of the image, fantasy, and thought. That's the point of fandom. I know the author is particularly talking about the sexual side of things, but even then, that's why we do what we do. We like the idea of our favorite characters smooching, and so we make them smooch. Sometimes it's for reasons that takes an essay 3k words and counting to explain, and sometimes it's because "I find both of them hot." There's nothing wrong with that, and there never has been. If you want to read more about my thoughts on this topic specifically, you can read my previous post on here, "A Short Discussion on Fandom Culture"

Finally, I want to leave y'all with a reminder that discourse like this a fire that only you can fuel. Twitter as a platform is designed to both encourage saying things that will bait a reaction and to encourage responding to said bait in as reactionary of a way as possible. And because of the character restraints built into the app, that makes communicating your full thoughts incredibly difficult, and starts forcing people to rely on gotcha's and mantras instead of properly discussing things. And when people start echoing the same things over and over, distain in those spouting those mantras is developed in people, no matter the intention. So just block and move on. Take a page out of the fuqing shippers' book and just move on, because unless we all engage in long discussions over thousands of words, nobody is going to listen to each other because twitter is designed for people to not listen to each other.

This is a war that nobody is going to win, and it's so much better to pack up your things and return home from the front lines. It's so much better if you let people like what they like and not like what they don't like and say what they will say. We're all just a bunch of random ass nobodies beefing about fictional characters.

Just block and move on. It's so much better.

Trust me.

[mantasunray-art]

So, what's your stance with dteam?

I'm getting conflicted results from my dash but seems like people in general think it was a alright response, however they were already planning to move on no matter the results (which is fair enough)

same to me honestly. i put this gigantic statement yesterday talking about how i thought some people were blowing it a bit out of proportion but it still affected me. it just didn't affect me *as much* because i have other interests soooo this is kind of where i stand. not much content and really taxing and constant discourse and negativity so yknow. i don't resent my time here at all nor resent the dteam or anything. i just finally have other stuff to care about so i'm choosing to lean onto those other things. being miserable about a bunch of little things and being affected by the opinion of others regarding those random famous guys is just not worth it to me anymore. until this week i had twitter with dteamupdates notifs but i uninstalled it. like if they put out a funny mc video i'll probably watch but the "need" for immeacy over everything that happens in this fandom has not been healthy to me like i already have anxiety and take meds yknow i don't need online stuff stressing me out. because at the end of the day entertainment is meant exactly for that: to entertain. uhhh idek what im saying anymore but yea just using this as a small push to focus on other stuff (similarly how i used the end of last year and how miserable i was as a motivator to cut twitter from my life)

[feline-evil]

Oh yeah i forgot to say here too cuz i'm more likely to stay at least a little active on here through it since it serves me slightly less rage inducing dickheads that i'll pick a fight with, but something upsetting as happened and i'm definitely not going to be in a good mood for a while so my activity online may go down.

My cat unexpectedly declined rapidly overnight and had to be put down yesterday, i do not always cope with loss well, i've lost a lot of people and animals in my life. We buried her, i helped dig, i dug with my bare hands because i couldn't wield the shovel properly with how fucked my arms are and my entire body started shaking halfway through and is still trembling the day after. I had to look after my parents through this, they cried, i didn't, emotions don't work right in me anymore. I'm giving all this information to paint a clear enough picture as to why i'm not here to be fucked with at the moment. I don't want to deal with stupid fucking twitter discourse that makes me want to punch a wall, i don't want to deal with pathetic cunts who have a problem with some nobody like me and harass me whenever i have anon on here, so as you can imagine considering both of these are fucking constants when im online for some fucking reason, my activity might be spotty.

I loved my cat a lot, she was already nineteen when she turned up outside my door terrified of people, scrounging through the small food waste bin. She looked so starved and feral i thought she was gonna die back then, i spent days slowly working up her trust, sitting by my door talking soft, not making eye contact, just letting her get used to me; i needed to check her condition, needed to know if i could help. She was filthy, flea ridden and starved, her little bald ears burnt and painful. Eventually she trusted me enough to take food, then be touched, and then a week later she was in the house. Two weeks she stayed the first time, kept warm and safe with blankets and food; a toothless, ancient cat i felt sure we were given a few final days respite before she passed. Her owners turned up after those two weeks. Our neighbours two doors down. They took her back, i was not happy. But as soon as they let her outside again she ran right on back to us purring and purring as much as she could, curling right back up in her blankets. After this happened time and time again eventually the neighbours let us keep her, i'm so glad that they did because she began to heal. Her ears cleared up, her fur became soft and silky, she started behaving like a normal cat again; she put a little weight on, never a lot, but enough to not look starved, and she even tried to gain her meow back (she was a silent meower, that she never managed to fix, but she did start to make a little noise).

She was with us for three years past that, or nearly three it wouldve been three next month, and she was the sweetest cat in the world; she didn't often have energy to play, she wasn't the adventurous sort, she just wanted to lie near you and purr. She'd cry and howl if she couldnt find us, she never bit or deliberately scratched, she was an absolute gentle soul. When we moved it was the best thing for her, going to a smaller, easier to navigate house with a lovely safe, enclosed out door space; she got to feel the sun and the dirt again for those last few months, but safely, not as some poor frail animal left outside to fend for herself.

The vet told us her organs had failed when we took her yesterday, that even if she were a younger cat she'd be a candidate for humane euthanasia. There was no coming back from that. It was her time, we knew, the decline she had overnight was a sign she was ready to go; to keep her from saying goodbye would be crueller than letting her go. She was 21, nearly 22. I found fragments of a blue china plate in the dirt we dug for her, i kept it, its so pretty. I made her a bouquet out of tiny wild flowers from the garden. She's buried in her favourite spot. I'm really happy i got to put in the work to give her the life she deserved even if it was only for her last few years.

[duhragonball]

Hey, im just wondering, do you have any other socials we can follow you on? I'v heard some forboding things about Tumblr staff layoff spelling the end of this site

You can find me on Twitter here: https://twitter.com/duhragonball

That's it, other than my AO3 account, which isn't much of a social media platform, and my decades-old livejournal, which I haven't touched in years.

I misread your message and thought you were referring to something ending Twitter, and I was all set to talk about how people have been predicting the downfall of Twitter for over a year now. I believe it will probably meet a bad end, and sooner rather than later, but the way the userbase talks Twitter already shut down six or seven times already. It still basically works when I use it. It's gotten shittier, but it was pretty shitty when I joined. It amazes me that people are nostalgic for the days when Jack Dorsey was running things.

Anyway, you said Tumblr, and I don't know anything about that site's woes. I will say that I only got active on Twitter because there was a nonzero chance of Tumblr imploding after the 2018 pr0n ban. There's still a nonzero chance, but 2018 was five years ago, and we're all still here. I'm not holding my breath.

Let me ask the question, since it's been a while since I brought it up: What's the move now with social media? Is Blue Sky any good? I could probably bum an invite from someone since lots of Twitter folks are giving them away, but I don't want to fool around with setting up a new thing and then never use it.

Same thing with Pillowfort. I was curious about it when it was announced, but I'm like the opposite of an early-adopter. I like to wait a while and see if things will stick. And there doesn't seem to be much news coming out of it. I don't know if that's a good thing or not.

I have no interest in the Facebook/Meta/Instagram mess. YouTube and Tik-tok are non-starters, since I'd have to waste a bunch of time producing videos. What else is there?

I have a discord, but I really need to sort out how I use it. A few years ago I had envisioned making a server and inviting people to join it, but I'm not sure I have the motivation for something like that anymore.

These days, I've got half a mind to just run a shitty personal website, like the one I had in 1996. Back then, you only had 10 megabytes of space to work with, and it would take all damn day to put a picture of the Emperor from Star Wars on it and get it to display correctly. But at least I knew it'd be there the next day. Wait, no I didn't.

Anyway, the internet's always been an ephemeral beast. I won't say it hasn't changed, but I can't claim it was better in the Olde Days either. I saw someone complain recently that all you can do with it now is watch videos and shop, and back in the 90's you couldn't really do either of those things easily, so you'd just read text pieces with funny pictures, and maybe download a .wav file of the Incredible Hulk theme song.

But I'm getting off track. I'm on twitter. And here, and that's about it. I'm open to suggestions.

[the1975attheirverybest]

I know you probably don't want people to vent to you, but I just had a close friend put me down for liking Matty and it's kinda messing with my mood. They said it was "kinda fucked up" that I liked him. They are a good friend and this kinda came out of nowhere and now Im sad. I know he says some bad stuff sometimes, but my life is so chaotic rn and my enjoyment of this band and Matty is kinda a reprieve from my life. I just don't want them to think I'm a bad person. I don't believe that Matty is bad, but some people don't see that and only assume the worst, and then I feel like the asshole.

- 🦝

Hey, listen, you can ALWAYS vent to me! Promise!!

Also, like, who else are you supposed to talk to? People who don’t know Matty/the band kinda won’t get this sort of thing. Only other fans do! So, this is totally fine.

And, yeah, to be honest, I used to get that a lot. From my sister even! Like, she’s really into punk and emo music. Like really hardcore shit. She does NOT like the 1975, lmao. Even though I’ve told her a thousand times that if she likes punk, she’d love Matty. Cuz he’s legit more punk than whatever bands she likes these days…the genre has devolved into a parody of itself, you can’t really do punk in punk anymore…BUT I DIGRESS!! My point is, she gets all of her impressions of Matty from Twitter. And, we all know what Twitter thinks of Matty. Like, when the podcast shit was going down, she was texting me screenshots everyday like “this is your Matty Healy?” It made me really sad.

It’s difficult cuz it’s not the same type of thing as when people make fun of me for, like, liking Harry Styles. They just think Harry isn’t a “real musician” (whatever the fuck that means) but, with Matty, some people actually think he’s a Nazi!!!!! Like my sister and I got into it a bit cuz she was like “If you’re fine with Matty Healy…I feel like you’re the type of person to end up in a toxic relationship cuz you’ll just let men say shit.” BUT, my thing is, she’s my sister. She knows me. She knows the millions of ways that I stand up for my students when our department policy is discriminatory against some of them. She knows my personal politics and who I am. So, if she can’t give me the benefit of the doubt and/or realize that, if I like Matty, then there must be something about him that PERHAPS! Twitter isn’t showing her??? Then we are in a sorry state as a society. You know?

Besides, I know lots of people say they wish Matty would tone it down for the sake of the rest of the guys and/or the band’s general image, but, I think that’s exactly why he doesn’t what he does. He’s asking for a little more nuance and real thought in debates around art. He doesn’t want art to become sterilized, corporate-friendly, performative activism, cuz art is where real thought and real resistance happens. And if there’s no space in it for push-back, then we lose as a society. So, the way I see it is, the fact that not everyone loves him, that he’s not another Harry Styles or whatever, is proof that he’s right and it’s working. You could try and explain that to people? Some people will get it, some, like my sister, will be like “yeah, sounds like you’re being brainwashed by a dude” … her loss honestly, cuz Matty has given me so much courage and joy and if she wants to dig in and miss out on it cuz punk Twitter can’t candle that Matty is more badass than them…then alright. She’s my sister and one of my best friends but she’s objectively wrong here lmao.

Bottom line is, they don’t have to love Matty but they love you. And if they do, they’ll understand who you are as a person is proof enough that you’re not a homophobe/Nazi/whatever the fuck the world misunderstands Matty to be. If they can’t see that, then, sorry but you may need a new friend? Hope that makes sense?

YOU CAN ALWAYS FANGIRL WITH US THOUGH 💗💗

[pretendstoread]

first...second...second first

it's funny that every time i think about writing i never really know what to say. i don't remember making this account in 2018, or writing for the first time on here. i've gone back and forth between journaling--where to do it, if it's even helping me--and there's a strong chance that i'll move on from this just like the other journals and modes of expression.

i've just been kinda uninspired. i fear that i wasnt born to be an artist. i dont think i Do enough. i dont really photograph. nothing really inspires me anymore. i'm kinda worried that new york's tap has run dry, but i dont think it's effective to blame the city i live in instead of myself. this has been a problem of mine for years now. why is it so hard to express yourself?!! i feel like i have a lot in me and yet no way to show for it. i dont know if i have a good work life balance. i dont know if thats even the problem? it's just.....so easy to do nothing....? but it doesnt make me happy??? but i keep doing nothign anyway??? maybe THIS is the first step to that. there's a bit of ego in making this. like. diary public. though i dont really think anyone will see it (and i don't care (but i will tag this anyway and maybe check if it gets any notes)). but i dont mean it to be egotistical.

i am a product of post internet use. i grew up expressing myself online. i was on facebook in fifth grade, tumblr in middle school, wattpad/ao3 and stan twitter in high school, art school in college, and back on twitter as a young adult. there has never been a point where i wasn't trying to put myself out there somehow, to be seen and shared and agreed with or admired or congratulated or impressed by. this pressure To Be Seen at 24 feels the most strong. the strongest ever felt. everywhere all the time i see and am told that i have so much time and that 20s are just the beginning. but it doesnt feel that way at all. it LOOMS over me. life shouldnt be Established but it should be.....Impressive? thats the second time i used impressive in this post so thats some subconscious thing going on there. But much of life right now is waking up, going to work, hating work, coming home, sitting on the couch until it's time for bed (which i either fall asleep right there or lazily flop into bed--and consequently miss taking my antianxiety meds), and then i wake up all over again. there's nothing to really show for. i don't feel like an interesting person. i dont feel like i do enough for myself. i guess i have a fear that i will be in this cycle for so long that one day it's 20 years later and nothings reallllllly changed. like. fundamentally.

i cannot think that far ahead. i have no ten year plan, 5 year, one year, 6 months...but i will be a fucking doomer about myself every chance i get. it's, of course, easier to catastrophize in the moment. lower expectations = less chance of disappointment! i think it's also interesting that the only things i really journal about are negative thoughts. wtf is that about. i'm not even necessarily unhappy right now.

things that make me feel Happy:

having enough food in the house that i can make something without having to go out or order in

laying in the sun on the beach after getting bodied by waves

creme soda

when i'm wearing a dress and dont care about my underwear showing (i like to spread! im sitting knees up at my desk right now!!)

catching someone i like looking at me (does it mean anything extra if they're drinking something at the same time....? and they don't break eye contact...?)

customizable internet--the past now....i remember when tumblr was a WEBSITE more than an APP. we must free ourselves from The Profile.

[riorsonxaden]

I'm not going to unblock this person so they can see. I'm sure one of their pals is watching my account still. Getting ready to SS and put it on Twitter or something. (Hey! Hi how are you btw? Still being petty and snooping? Wonderful).

Anyway, yall seem to be pressed about me informing my side of the Fandom about this voting thing. So here we go.

1. The MOST IMPORTANT. I pay for these overlays. The acotar ones are sitting pretty in my copy. My acomaf ones I ordered the day it went live. In the future I will be purchasing the acowar ones, the acofas, and the acosf ones. With that being said, as a purchasing customer, if the company is having a vote on which artwork to showcase in the set, I have every right to put a fierce say in what is done. I'd rather not pay around $40 for an E/riel scene. I don't ship it. I don't wanna see it in art form. I'd like to point out that in the event it was going to be added it wouldn't sway my decision in purchasing the overlays. I still would.

2. Had it been voted and done. You guys would have been harassing us because it's canon now. And that we lost (even though this is false and elucien was in a overlay print for acomaf first). As always you would have been unnecessary about it.

3. I meant what I said. I don't want anymore drama. Look who's causing the uproar about this? You guys are. You are furthering my point. You blow everything. EVERYTHING OUT PROPORTION. My six year old acts better than this.

4. You do realize. Instead of being pissy you could have made a post similar to mine encouraging E/riels to vote for the scene? But I guess its easier to throw a tantrum over a post instead.

5. There are a lot of people reading these books and not caring about ships and ship wars. They dont care of the endgames. They vote too. Just food for thought. Im sure on facebook in multiple groups people shared the voting as well. Maybe not for the same reason i did. Maybe to defend your sinking ship. Regardless What's done is done. The vote is over.

6. It's very easy to scroll. I tagged it appropriately. I only made it where my targeted audience could see. I used an Anti E/riel tag. I made it like to keep the peace. So you guys can do whatever it is you do on your side of the fandom. Instead you guys sit there following accounts and tags that you know are not good for your ship. And then blast it when you find a post to attack. I guess points for blocking out names but still.

Why can't you guys just chill? Why can't you guys just love and support your ship. Stay on your side of the fandom. Stop looking for things that's problematic for your ship.

Yall are in a uproar about this when you could be voting for the scene where Feyre and Az save Elain. Like ???

[hnnyoongs]

it's no one's fault ... ok maybe afo's

if u hate enji don't read this dont interact with this just block me im not in the mood to deal with haters it's too early for this shit

shouto being so pissed at enji is funny yet sad and ughh got me all emotional cuz enji IS thinking about his family but he's also got the entire country going to shit stuff to figure out it was his problem that he was too into being a hero and not into being part of his family but hopefully the international heroes coming in will give us more enji spending time making things right

OK SO NOW FOR THE ACTUAL DISCOURSE HAHAH

so ik MANY of us blame enji for letting deku go loose INCLUDING THE MAN SHOUTO HIMSELF but what katsuki says next is what we all need to hear something people are overlooking or focussing only on one part

katsuki says it's not enjis fault because he doesn't know deku like katsuki does he says that Deku's gone off the deep end with his self sacrificial tendancies and that all might who has the same flaws enables him

all might and deku are actually pretty private people and the person that knows both of them best is katsuki cuz of the time he spent in the meetings with them AND cuz katsuki grew up with deku watched him not care about getting hurt because he genuinely did not care about himself because all might and deku are similar he also drew the conclusions of all might's character from the deku he has always known

I said this on twitter lemme screenshot it :

while I was kinda yelling my ass off there and yk being rude af like I do when I type before I think I wanna say it again in a more ... normal way that doesn't involve me shitting on people

what katsuki says is that enji couldn't have kept deku safe because he didn't UNDERSTAND deku and he's right the people who understand him the best are all might, who enables him, the vestiges, who are dead, and katsuki, who's here

what I'm trying to add to that is not only do endeavor and the rest of the pro heroes not understand deku but they could have never controlled his hero-complex from going out of control

in the case of canon they let him and all might run free because they trusted his judgement and they thought it was safer to avoid being together so deku didn't get caught by the media which btw while stupid to us the readers is probably the best decision they could have made with the information they had

had they tried to constantly be around deku protect him work with him they wouldn't help things at all because deku doesnt want to be around people he doesn't want to hurt anyone with his presence anymore and the fact he's being sheltered would make him upset because he's the best thing they have

even if they told him from the beginning that deku had to stay in UA and that he shouldn't go out and about deku still would have and nobody could stop him he was never going to stay put he was never going to let himself be safe be around people be cared for because he doesnt care about himself

enji probably could have kept deku from going rouge for a little bit longer and shouto is rightfully upset at him because we all want to think that the number one hero would be able to protect deku especially shouto cuz said hero is his father

but just as katsuki stopped him by putting his hand on his shoulder I'm going to do the same and tell you what katsuki said as well

endeavor could have never kept deku from going off on his own it's not his fault it's not anyones fault maybe it's the vestiges fault for pushing deku maybe it's all might's fault for enabling him it's definitely all for one's fault for the mere fact he exists but no one outside of class 1A would have been able to stop deku because no one but his dearest friends would understand without seeming like they're looking down on him

I feel like im repeating myself over and over and maybe I am I just wanted to say though the fandom and the characters blame enji for not keeping deku safe, I personally believe he just wasn't the person suited for the job. It's not his fault ... ok maybe afo's because everything afo's fault.

if u disagree just dont interact I dont wanna deal with haters

[paintedpeeta]

hi. I'm sorry for what im about to say, but i just need to let this go somewhere, otherwise imma explode. i can't talk to most of my friends right now, and i don't wanna bother anyone.

that's hypocritical of me since im coming here to bother you... and that's what im sorry about the most, but since you answered my previous ask with the most gentle treatment ive been given in days, here's me again.

im in the fandom for almost a year now. it's still difficult for me to write for everlark, specially following canon because they mean a lot to me, and im always afraid that im doing it the wrong way. I've been working on a longfic since february and there was a time where I was SO GENUINELY PROUD AND EXCITED about how i was writing, but i can't feel that anymore.

i can't feel that with anything i write. and when i do, or at least have some hope that someone will read it... nothing. not even my friends, the ones who pressured me to post it earlier than i planned in the first place. and now i feel like i have nothing, since nobody reads my thg shit and i pretty much stopped writing for other fandoms.

as a brazilian i kinda don't have the right to expect much, bc people who read everlark in portuguese nowdays are basically extinct and im not exactly using the best plataforms... but i still do. and that's making me sick.

i had to deactivate my twitter account this week because some family stuff, and i used to post a lot of my writings there. i created a new one, but now i have lost all of the lil reach i had, and i can't find most of my mutuals. my friends still couldn't care less about my writing.

i feel like im a bad author. not because my writing sucks or because I can't build storylines. i can, and feel like i do that decently. what i mean is that... nobodys reading what i put into the world. and what's the sense in all writings, if not make others feel so comforted and welcomed by our stories as we do, as authors?

i genuinely feel like getting out of twitter for good, because being there is not nice anymore. not when i see all people that promised me they would read my fics tweeting all day about all kinds of subjects and leaving me on read on dms. not when i post drabbles and have to delete them hours later because nobody sees or interacts w it.

at the same time, i don't know how to use tumblr. and every other part of my life is falling apart.

im sorry, again. but that's what I feel right now and i guess I just wanted someone to listen and comfort me, since my two other happiness sources are fictional. ignore that if you want. please, don't answer it because you feel like it's the polite thing to do or because you feel like you have to. you don't.

- I.H.

hello, anon :)

first of all i’m sorry that you’re feeling so down, i wish there was something i could do to help you more than just replying to this ask - so please remember that my messages are always open (i won’t take offence if you’d rather communicate through my inbox to keep ur anonymity of course) if you wanted to talk a little more. you must be hurting pretty bad if you feel like you can’t talk to your friends about it :(

and second of all, please don’t feel so discouraged that you stop with your writing. i really don’t read multi-chapter fics myself (i don’t even have an AO3 account if you’d believe it or not) so i sometimes feel a little guilty that i don’t do enough to support fic writers, who give up so much of their time to give other people some enjoyment and a little bit of escape. if you’d like to share the name or link etc of your fic with me i’d be more than happy to post it on my blog if you thought that would help any.

as for your troubles with writing in your native language, i can only imagine how frustrating that would feel for you. i wonder if anyone in the fandom would be able to help in the way of translation or something in order to help you in that respect? sadly i don’t speak portuguese, so i doubt i’d be any use on this one :(

and honestly i only have twitter for personal use so i’m not any help there but is there perhaps a way to reactivate your account? i wasn’t so sure but according to google you can get a deactivated account back within 30 days, if that would be in any use for reconnecting with your followers on there.

and lastly i hope you keep the faith in the longfic you’ve been writing. it would be terribly sad for you to lose all that you’ve worked on since february. that being said, if you feel like it’s giving you so much stress and just feeling fruitless it’s also okay to take a break and step back for a little while. no one will feel disappointed and you certainly shouldn’t feel that way about yourself. tumblr is sort of a pain in the ass to use i won’t deny it, but there are some amazing people and writers on here who i’m sure would be willing to help you out.

please don’t be a stranger if you need to rant again, and i hope any of what i’ve said is at least a little bit useful for you 😊

[moonlightchn]

~WHOLESOME WEDNESDAY~

Not to be a soft motherfucker but I've been wanting to do this again for a week now so I guessed I would try my best to fit as many of my thoughts here as I can without being annoying or tumblr fucking up plz bear with me heh but we know none of those are actually possible anyway so THERES THAT also this is fucking long wow ANYWAY

WARNING WORD VOMIT sjsjsjsj I dont even know what i wrote I'm sorry but I'm tagging yall anyway

Some of you I speak to on a daily basis, yknow? Like,, as admin. And its fucking insane because like- I don't know but like isn't it insane? sjajsjsj How fast some people come to grow in your heart and get under your skin and become so important for you. I think it's crazy. That in four months or so I've made more friends in here that in my whole life and I've learned so much about life and myself and I've gotten marked and some of you imprinted on my mind and heart forever. And like HELL I wasn't here when most big dramas happened but I was here for two very big ones and like??? idk it feels like all of us have been through shared crises and somehow grown closer sjajskwjs idk I'm weird and im sensitive today and I just feel like wow what would I be doing without all of you right now? probably studying. or scrolling Twitter in which I never spoke to anyone. or watching Instagram stories and getting sad over how all my ex class partners are still in contact and hang out and keep strong relationships while I just sit here. like, I know we all say this place sucks and we hate it and its toxic and don't get me wrong of course some people is fucking shitty and they take a toll on a lot of others but that like... it also happens in real life yknow?? but like in real life how many people do you think would actually idk sit with you through a panic attack or stay up with you till 8am or wake up in the middle of the night or rave with you or hype you up or have meme wars or send you daily jokes or just randomly tell you how much you mean to them or make posts asking where you are when you disappear or been gone for too long or make people that doesnt know you send you birthday wishes? like I'm not saying it doesnt happen but isnt it wonderful that it happens HERE with US where maybe out of 10 people only 2 know each other in real life? Isnt it wonderful that we're from all around the world? that you half of the time dont realize someone isnt from English speaking places because they're too good or even when they're not that good no one judges you because this is such an inclusive and wonderful place for people of all races and colors and sexualities and nationalities and body types and hair colors?

idk I'm just RAMBLING but like I wanted to let everyone know that even if we dont speak, even if we NEVER spoke, even if we're only on each others tag lists, or even if I was and you took me off or I took you off or if you deleted or if you have 817383 bots and you speak to me in all of them or only one or whatever PLEASE just know that I love you so much and I appreciate you and you're awesome and if you made some mistakes know that you CAN fix them you CAN learn and be better you CAN grow.

I believe that everyone is capable of learning and changing and everyone deserves a second chance as long as they genuinely show the intention of changing and bettering themselves. I believe that we're capable of forgiving and maintaining healthy relationships without hard feelings. I believe we all have goodness. I believe we all are small universes and we have stars in our eyes and supernovas in our brains and a million things to discover and I believe its funnier to be together than alone and I'm rambling again but like idk just yesterday I was sending someone a message telling them how maybe I'm fucking delusional and naive because who the fuck goes out on their daily saying "be skeptical. dont trust too much. always pay attention" but then after two days of talking with someone they're fucking platonically whipped and would sell their soul as long as they can see those around them happy? trick question I know many of you do too which WORRIES ME PLZ DONT PUT YOUR HEARTS ON THE LINE SO EASILY I drifted I forgot what I was saying oh welp

Anyway for some of you i have so much to say I could write endless paragraphs about you about admins and characters and life and wow I do speak a lot to admins sometimes I speak more to admins as admin that the characters and for some others I can only say a few things or wish you to have a good day some of you I only ever spoke to your character or we talked too little or never at all wow I say that a lot but like one thing yall have in common is that I love you so much even if you don't know me or dont care alright I dont care if you don't care I LOVE YOU and you can FIGHT ME if you dont wanna accept it smh I just want you to know that this place so many of you have been feeling is crumbling down or hurting them or isnt the same anymore is MY safe place too is a place where I feel comfortable and secure and I know, well decide to believe, that you guys would never do willingly anything to hurt another and yknow sometimes I just sit in bed and look at my account and I'm like wow I suck I should delete but then I'm like I could never do that to you I really couldn't because I've been told so many times I'm peoples safe place too and I would never want to take that away from you yknow

I mean I'm not gonna say we shouldn't pay attention to the bad things that happen because this is somehow our home and it's on us to protect it but I think that we shouldnt focus so much on it. because theres still so many good things that we overlook when we think of the bad or when we let things get to us or when we decide to act out of impulse and not think through stuff yknow

ANYWAAY what I'm trying to say is that I love you all so so so so so much and this is my safe place because you're here for me when I need it and I would never give you guys up for anything and like i have so many people for whom i stay daily and try my best and I hope that someday when you need a reason i can be that for you too because I've said this in private but I want everyone to know that this is my corner too and I will always fight for it and protect it so like we can all fight for it together whenever things get rough or you can leave me alone and maybe I'm being super dramatic and putting a lot of weight on this but I started overthinking like halfway and in just tthink that I want to keep yall close to me and my heart forever ok so stay safe and healthy and happy yeah fight for your happiness fight for what you deserve fight for what you want and don't let anyone ANYONE EVER take away from you your joy and your spark and your will to be yourself ok bye

[clumsyclifford]

hello!! i am back and on desktop this time. the blog is just as pretty. alex + yellow = v v attractive jfc. this is a long one so buckle in.

to begin: i hope you have the most fun on your day road trip and sing your heart out to atl and taylor swift. i love driving long distances and idk just driving in general is fun. have the absolute best time MWAH

my birthday is in november!! november 23 to be specific. i share it with miley cyrus which is something i always found to be very cool when i was growing up and watching hannah montana. it also means i am a sagittarius and funny little fact i realized is that my best friend is a gemini. alex and jack are also a sagittarius and a gemini. from being 13 i know that tyler and josh from twenty one pilots are also a sagittarius and a gemini. something about sagittarius and gemini besties idk.

also yeah!! ao3 year in review!! it's a bit complicated to figure out at first and if you read a lot the finding pages thing can be pretty tedious, but it's def worth it once you figure it out. it gives you a lot of different stats about everything you read and it's pretty cool. now i am going to go look at your fics to remember my favs. you deserve the praise so i am willing to offer it. jeez you write a lot i respect the motivation sm. you write quite a bit of angst and i won't lie i try to stay away from angst so i haven't read your fics that seem super angst-y based on the tags. BUT there are still so many i recall reading and loving nonetheless. on a quick scroll-through: i usually don't read high school AUs but "paint me in trust (i'll be your best friend)" was super adorable and lovely. "thank god i'm yours" is one of my favs iirc. also i love love love "it's not always easy (but i'm here forever)" like yes please romanticize alex gaskarth i love it sm. "i won't be silent (and i won't let go)" and "i fell asleep in a city that doesn't" are both super fluffy and romantic and are favs of mine. in case you haven't picked up on it i adore very fluffy and romantic fics lmao. alright i am continuing to scroll and there are so many more i could list that i love but this section is getting quite long. just know if it's about a kitchen or hotel rooms being for lovers i probably read it and adored it and that pov is so valid.

waterparks!! will not lie i only really started listening to them about 6 months ago having been distantly aware of their existence for several years by being a fan of bands in the same genre. listen as long as you let yourself be vaguely annoyed by awsten is prevents you from being in love with him. follow him on any social media platform for like a day and you'll be sick of him typing in nothing but all caps within hours. simply do not romanticize him and you can keep yourself from falling!! so this is coming from a slightly fake parx fan, but some of my favs by them have been peach (lobotomy), crave, numb, fuzzy, violet!, you'd be paranoid too, and lowkey as hell. that is a very songs-from-their-most-recent-album-heavy rec, but whatever. i did give the disclaimer about being a fake parx fan.

yeah hayley does have 2 solo albums now!! petals for armor and flowers for vases / descansos. pfa is the one i didn't really like upon first listen but has grown on me. i haven't even listened to the second one in its entirety oops but we won't mention it. dead horse is good but simmer (pretty sure that was the other single??) just ain't it for me. the album has some lovely songs but it's just a hit or miss album all the way through. some favs of mine on it include pure love, taken, crystal clear, watch me while i bloom, and why we ever. it's sorta a storyline album about healing if that adds anything to it?? but anyways. i started listening to paramore around the time after laughter dropped and it grew to be one of my fav albums in existence. idle worship is probably one of my fav songs like ever. i def understand being slightly put off by bands with songs that make religious references (me with twenty one pilots' earlier music that makes a lot more religious references considering i'm not religious whatsoever) but i think i am blinded by being in love with hayley williams and just ignore it. idk that she's like super religious?? she's addressed believing in god and stuff a few times but she's def not the "rub it in your face" type and if she's making refs in music more recently then they're subtle enough i'm not noticing them. ik albums like brand new eyes had a lot more because it was shortly after that the band split and the songwriting process was essentially her and ex-bandmate co-songwriter arguing about their religious beliefs (turns out he ended up being super homophobic and transphobic all based on his religion so do with that what u will and thank the clown for leaving). i feel u on the "i meant to start listening to them" because that's essentially how i started listening to them. i told myself i was going to and then finally forced myself to do it. fuck falling for awsten knight what's more risky is falling in love with hayley </3

also yeah!! you've articulated my feelings towards tde. every song is so vastly different that it's hard to like it all. #1 fan is pretty decent though, and that's not just my bias about finding both ross and his gf hot and a cute couple and getting to see them together and ross half naked in a mirror in the video nope not at all. he's my fav himbo!! he has no personality!! no thoughts head empty!! i still love him and his strawberry-growing saga on twitter tho <3 the hazard of being in love with ross lynch since i was 12. girlfriend better be a fucking banger and there's quite a few already released singles in the tracklist so i have hope. i believe my show is in chicago on november 19 which is a thursday. kinda sucks since i intentionally bought the chicago tix nearly two years ago (the show was originally supposed to be april 25 2020. lol.) because the show was on a saturday and i have to drive 3 hours to get there. obviously i can't speak for them as tde but r5 shows always fucking slapped and i can vouch for them (realized i haven't seem them live since 2016?? 5 YEARS?? wtf) so if u genuinely like them. would recommend going to see them.

anyways. i have not listened to luke's solo album yet. i plan on it. this has gotten so long but i tried to respond in all areas and even organized it in different paragraphs this time (thanks being on desktop!!). hope you are well. hope you have a lovely day. hmm what's a little "going on in my life" fact. i got new glasses a few days ago and my eyes essentially said fuck off because adjusting to the new prescription has left me with eyes that hurt and occasionally slightly nauseous. here is to hoping my eyes get their shit together. mwah LOVE YOU TOO - the other bella/cubs anon/idk

okay hi hello. i have put this off because holy hell it's long but let's do it. i am putting a cut because this whole thing is long even without my answer

first: the road trip was super fun thank you!!! i am intrigued by this information regarding sags and geminis, we should do some scientific inquiry. enquiry. i don't know if there's a difference between those words.

aha! well i tried the ao3 year in review thing and i would say it had about 55% accuracy but still i agree it's fun to look back at that kind of stuff. and i feel you on the angst thing i go through phases of writing angst-heavy stuff and then writing very fluffy stuff and it is entirely based on my mental state buuuut i have lots of fluff and i'm glad you found it all and that you liked it yay <333 KITCHENS ARE FOR LOVERS i will die on that fuckin hill. hotel rooms as well but primarily kitchens.

dfgjhgdlfkhgdfmj honestly i dont use twitter enough that i would see his tweets enough that that would bother me also the fact that he tweets in all caps means that i just picture him yelling everything he tweets which i find absolutely hysterical so i don't think that would help. i have added these parx songs to my listen asap playlist and will get to them when i get a chance thank you i am excited also i already know lowkey as hell and it slaps super hard so im very much lookin forward to the rest of these. merci merci

YEAH simmer was the one i didnt vibe with. and honestly i feel zero compulsion to get into hayley williams as a solo artist. i just don't vibe enough to want to do that so i doubt i'll be listening to her anytime soon but maybe if i hear the songs in passing or get super bored one night, idk who can really say. but yeah christianity typically puts me off of music (speaking as a very jewish bitch) although there are notable exceptions in the cases of thomas rhett and the driver era. i'm just not attached to hayley enough to be like ehhh this doesnt matter. does that make sense

FAVORITE HIMBO PLEASE HGSDFGDFGKLFGJ i dont follow him on twitter but i have seen some interviews of ross and rocky and tbh they're great i love the way ross speaks like i like his speech mannerisms and i like his FACE and HAIR and. yeah. i think hes pretty. and i think he and 5sos SHOULD collab i think that would be sexy as hell. can you imagine that. oh my god can you imagine a ross lynch/luke hemmings collab. i'm not even really talking to you anymore bella because i know you haven't listened to luke yet and don't have a stake in it but if anyone else is reading this long ass answer. ross & luke collab. okay im going to move on and not think about that now. but i probably won't see tde unless i get a job this semester because i'm trying to stop spending so much money on big indulgent things like concerts likeee i was in a really good habit of not spending that much and then suddenly i got paid for one summer and i was just goin Crazy and i need to dial it back. plus i wanna see ajr and noah kahan equally bad so like. i have to make some calls about priorities here. it's Much to think about

good luck to your eyes i'm sure your new glasses are hella cute tho!!! LOVE YOUUUUUUU

[heartsoftruth]

1/Hi, I apologize in advance for this long message but I just wanted to ask you if you had ever received insults or criticisms or even guys who harassed you because you're a girl who loves football? I'm asking you this because I live this constantly. Yesterday when Barça won the CDR I was so happy so I shared my joy on my social media and I commented on some FB publications related to the match and the majority of ppl on these pages are men so I have only received insults degrading messages.

Anonymous said:2/I was told to go back to the kitchen, that I should go back to clean, that I loved Barça only for cute players or that I probably didn’t know anything about football and was probably repeating what men around me were saying to look smart,.. I will not tell you everything they told me but it was really degrading and mean, I absolutely did not say anything bad, there were comments from guys who writed bullshit on the post but no one answered them but under mine there was like 100 replies.

Anonymous said:3/And I just wrote “I’m so happy and sad at the same time, I will miss Andres so much, it will not be the same without him..” On my other comments also I received insults like "Come suck my c*ck, you will be more useful” “oh a girl trying to make herself interesting by loving football” “shut your mouth bitch it’s a page for men here, go back to cook” And all that just because I’m a girl, if it had been a man who had commented the same thing they would have agreed with him.

Anonymous said:4/It’s unbelievable that a woman can’t love football as much as a man do without being looked at or asked to justify why she really loves football because if a girl likes football it’s surely because she’s in love with the players or wants to fuck with them or that she invents it to have the attention of men, because it is impossible that a woman can really love or understand football, so when it happens I have to justify myself so that they are convinced that I really like this sport..Anonymous said:5/It’s sad that in 2018 for a lot of ppl women = cooking, doing housework, pleasing men and keep quiet. Usually I avoid going into the football debates of my male friends or those of my family because they automatically make fun of me and my opinion is irrelevant. So if you have a vagina your brain is too stupid to understand football and enjoy it? I’m tired of having to hide my passion for football because I risk being insulted. It’s sad because I know I’m not the only one who suffers this..

Anonymous said:6/I discovered football when I was a child, I quickly became a big fan, I even played it many years but growing up my dad start laughing at me and telling me that I should be more interested in girls stuff and he asked me which player I was as much in love to continue to love football like that and the men around me told me that women’s football was not real football so I should stop playing it, my mother also agreed that I should stop because she was afraid that her daughter become a tomboy.

Anonymous said:7/I was stupid enough to believe theses bullshit and I stopped playing at my club. Yes I am feminine in general, I also like makeup, dresses, shoes and stuff like that but sometimes I like to wear my Barça jersey or football outfits too and when I walk in the street with it I get glances, guys who come to talk to me or say that I’m ridiculous with my jersey, one day 2 guys even come to ask me questions on the club to see if I really know about Barça and that it’s not just to get attention..

Anonymous said:8/It’s tiring and exhausting, I’d like to love this sport without suffering all that, what’s the deal with that, it’s a sport among many, why it’s impossible to let a girl enjoy this sport without belittling her? Why is it so difficult for men to believe that we really love this sport too without necessarily wanting to fuck with players? I’m tired, it’s getting depressing and with all the insults I received yesterday I feel like I’m going to be crazy, I really wanted to cry because of my anger..

Anonymous said:9/If you or the followers of your blog undergo this too, can you tell me how you do to support it or to finish with that please? And if there are guys who follow your blog I’d like them to explain to me, if they do these things, just why ? Why a woman who loves football should deserve so much hate and criticism and why it’s as difficult for guys to accept that women can love football too? I’m really sorry again for this long message but I’m really fed up.. 😫

Heey girlie!! OMG dont apologize for the long message! I feel like you needed to vent a little and then it’s 100% better to just write it all down instead of keeping it in. and DAMN you had all the reasons to vent, because what those neanderthals wrote to you MAKES MY BLOOD BOILLLLLLLLL FUUUUUUCK!!!

BOOOOOILLLLLL!!!! 

Im gonna reply to the parts in parts because otherwise the answer will be an unstructured mess. 

½/3: I dont even know where to start with my first off all comment with this ask! But pffff. It;s so so soooo sad that in 2018 people like that put comments under just a very normal and very correct post. It’s also really sad because probably right now you will think twice before commenting something under a footy Facebook thing. 

AND PLEAAAAASEE! Let me know what kind of FB page that is? I am literally fuming and almost on the verge of making a Twitter account for my Tumblr page to post it on here. It’s not fucking normal that when a girl says something about football guys talk like that. It’s not and it’s not ok. 100 replies under your comment? And all like that?? Pfff. Damn. FUMINGGGGG. 

I can understand you feel bad about it bc of all these people jumping on some kind of bandwagon behind their PC’s. Insecure bunch of dicks! 

4/5: Indeed we women have to know WAAAY more about football then men, because if we dont then we’re not serious about it or only watch it for the guys. “YESSSSS!!! THATS TOTALLY TRUE!!!! I watch 90+ minutes of football just for a few close-ups of the football players I like!!!11!1 Makes total sense” said no women who watches football ever. 

6/7/8/9: aaawhh… That is so sad… :( I can’t imagine how that must have felt as a child to be doing something you love but your parents make it out to be as if it was wrong. Not every girl likes pink and barbies just like not every guy likes blue and cars/football. Indeed I also love make up and getting dressed up etc etc. But I also love sitting in a cafe and watching football with a beer or something haha. 

I never wear a football shirt on the streets - unless im going to a match or watch in a cafe - today was the first time actually in my yellow PSG shirt haha. But no one said anything to me (other than a few hey girl). But it’s sad we have to prove something to these idiots… 

I think we’ve sadly all have had an experience like that. When I was younger and asked my friend at her party (or whatever it was) to see the football score a guy was like “what??? You dont watch it? Well then explain to me what off side is?!” That was the first time some guy asked me it and I did do it, but when someone would ask me it now I said: “You would ask a guy that too who says he watches football? Nope huh? So I won’t show you either!”

In Paris also on the way to the hotel the Uber driver was talking etc etc. And we spoke about football and I said how excited I am to finally see Neymar and hope he’s not injured anymore (because at the time he was stil injured and unclear if he would play) and all that blabla. And in one moment he said (in a joking way) oh you’re only here to see Neymar other than that you dont watch it. And I gave him a reality check real quick. My friend wanted to interfere and talk over it and I was like no no noooo. Lemme say my peace. 

Or at work people know I also love Neymar and then one new colleague thought it was funny (and maybe cool in front of the other guys) to say I only watch football for Neymar. And I gave him a reality check too. 

I used to bite my tongue when it came to that, but nowadays I’m like nope. I dont watch so much football for some insecure dick to be talking like that to me. 

But theres also many guys who you can just have a normal convo with about football. Like yesterday I had one with a guy I didn’t know and he was so chill. Or when I’m in the bar watching you also have guys normally coming up like are you also this nervous etc etc. During the Euro’s too. Met many friendly people who just spoke to us about football. Ok and s

What I also think is one of the problem is because many girls indeed just wear a shirt because it looks cute (which they of course can), but it makes it more difficult for us to be taken serious. Especially with tournaments like the Euros and WC many just watch football bc it’s fun with everyone in a cafe but they have no idea what they’re watching. And end up only confirming some of the thoughts by these neathertals. 

Can I ask you where you’re from btw?And please do tell which bs ass fb page you posted this one. I would be a good thing to create all these accounts to back you up or something. 

And indeed I’m curious too how other followers react to stupid comments like that?

And keep watching the sport you love girl! I know its tough at times being doubted to often for just watching something you like but lets hope that someday no one will question why we watch the sport we love. 

[ignisgayentia]

I see that you've blocked me on Twitter. You know, I don't want to be an asshole, I have every intention to send u a DM before I unfollow u, but then I saw ur post that u are now "TERRIFIED". Of me. I thought we used to be friends, and I actually unfollowed u not bc I disrespected ur opinion, but bc I do, and I don't wanna get upset seeing ur tweets. Which is what you're allowed to do, too, and I respect you. But I'm honestly really hurt by how you handled this, Ari. I thought we were friends.

WELL THIS IS REALLY CREEPY CONSIDERING U DELETED UR BLOG so ur like stalking my personal posts BUT HERE WE GO

u deleted ur blog

i wanted to stay in touch, not knowing much abt u, so we followed each other on twitter

out of nowhere u UNFOLLOWED me first on twitter, and i hAD NO FUCKING IDEA WHY

I GO TO UR TWITTER and find out that u basically think americans are privileged and have NO oppression

there is like an ENTIRE thread of u talking shit about me saying that i, or any americans whatsoever, don’t experience oppression and that i’m too privileged

like?? wtf is this tweet:

u calling me immature for blocking someone who has no idea what america is like and telling me that sexism, racism, and/or oppression doesn’t exist in america just because it doesn’t exist in the same way that u experience it (which i never denied) and having an OPPRESSION WAR that i never even fucken started with anyone, let alone u

instead of u coming to me about it i have to read all this horror story bullshit on ur twitter.. u really can’t expect to be friends with someone if u can’t stand to read my tweets or my point of view of anything bc i’m a ‘privileged american’. u don’t support BLM or antifa bc it doesn’t “benefit u” so u have no idea what happens to the unprivileged here but u pretend u do bc u read stuff on the news abt america… Like. i don’t pretend to know what it’s like to live in ur country but u get to pretend to know everything about my experiences in mine?

ANYWAY HERE’s SOME MORE GOD AWFUL TWEETS u wrote about me while u call me “immature”

(TELLING A RAPE VICTIM THAT RAPE CULTURE ISNT REAL IN AMERICA, how classy)

this one is my fav bit of irony:

 and my “political” tweets were about supporting women who come forward against r*pists and shit and u have the nerve to call it ~political opinions u dont wanna see?

u respect my opinions? u care about me? u wanna be friends with me? BITCH WHERE

u “don’t wanna be an asshole” ALRIGHT… sure was it petty to make a post abt u? sure was.. didn’t think u’d see it, didn’t think we’d ever interact again nor were we friends.. u don’t support me or believe in what i go thru is valid bc im an american, that’s not friendship.. 

in ALL SERIOUSNESS, if u have read this far: don’t ever tell someone that they’ve never experienced oppression. don’t ever dismiss the struggle of lives u have no comprehension of understanding. yes, america has privileges that most countries do not. this does not mean that oppression does not exist. an hour away from me, 49 lgbt people were gunned down in a senseless act of homophobia and terrorism. sure, we can get married - but we have to fear for our lives ANY time we want to step outside and live normal lives. this is not simply erased in america. black people and black children are GUNNED down by law enforcement at almost a DAILY rate in america due to systematic racism. those people are afraid to step out of their homes on the daily, but sure - ~slavery and jim crow laws aren’t in effect anymore. trans ppl are murdered almost DAILY here - but sure, technically it’s not illegal for them to wear binders or step outside (as u put, not me). i’m not an idiot; i’m fully aware of how much worse other countries can and do have when it comes to minority groups struggles and struggles in general. but pretending america doesn’t have flaws or struggles simply because we’re america is ignorant, sickening, and honestly hurtful. as people who experience oppression, whether it every day things or in violent deadly ways - we have to support one another, we have to uplift one another and give voice to struggles happening everywhere, even if u think u have it “worse”. change doesn’t happen when one cannot see outside their own way of thinking or footsteps. people are dying. HERE, too. grow the FUCK up.

oh, and ur little “fake rape culture dystopia” comment was absolutely disgusting. as a rape victim at the age of 9-10, by someone i TRUSTED. having to save my best friend from rape - TWICE by OUR (former) best friend. having to walk with her to the bathroom just to pray they won’t target more than one person. someone i knew of at college was drugged, raped, murdered - and they didn’t find the body for YEARS. no one is pretending other countries don’t have it worse, but pretending it doesn’t exist here is absolutely NASTY. 

byeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

[clotomalin]

Hello!  With sometime before I start the next phase of my career, I've decided to have a little re-brand on my social media platforms and blog. I've now got the time (and the energy) to do all the things I've been wanting to do, both creatively and technically on my social media and blog. I've been keeping note of all my ideas in my Moleskine journal and have even focus grouped some of my ideas over lunch with some of my favs, which gave me a little confidence boost, I'm not going to lie. So! without further ado- this is what's happening: My photos are going to change, my layout is going to change and I'm going to start creating Youtube video content again. For a long time I've been putting off creating direct to camera youtube footage, due to hate comments on my previous attempts and fear of being 'discovered' by someone at uni, but life is too short to not give something a try and I feel that now is the best time to start. I have creative ideas, technical ability and feel really comfortable within my own skin, knowing my true identity. I've grown up and know what I'm all about. I'm not a teen trying styles on for size, whilst floundering to find my personality anymore. It's been funny, going through my YouTube account, re-watching private videos, howling with laughter at my ammeter filming and super disgraceful, messy teen bedroom. But it's those memories coming to life on screen, through my own making thats shown me just how far I've come and in a weird way, It's been interesting to step back into my old life. I was planning to wipe the Youtube slate clean, but those videos were an accurate representation of my life at the time, and I can't pretend that they didn't happen, so I'm going to keep them live for the future Clo to look back on and for you guys to have a good laugh. In terms of the blog, the back content won't change. I've got no interest in deleting the past, I may go through and re-format, but 5 years of content is a lot to go through! I'll never remove content intentionally, I remember last year, or perhaps the year before when I deleted about 60 posts I felt like I'd lost a limb. My life, shared online had gone. The things I'd written about, disappeared and I didn't like that feeling, I like to look back on events, products, interests and what my life was like at that given moment, in the most un-narcasistic way possible. The blog, past and present is here to stay! I will however be creating a new addition that will be within each blog post: audio. My friends have been telling me for some time that when they read my blog, they read it in my voice and in my tone and I've never really thought about how others hear me, so I'm going to sound cloud my audio so everyone can hear it, the way I hear it in my head, this will also be a fantastic addition for my fellow dyslexics (lol, I spelt it wrong, then used autocorrect.) I all too often struggle reading people's blogs, hearing their tone and know if this was an option on someones blog I'd use it. It won't be for everyone, it'll be optional, but it will be there. Perhaps it'll give my content more depth, I'm not sure, but I'm going to give it a go. And I think that's everything! My photos and social profiles will be the first thing to change, as my super handsome man has kindly donated his epic photography services to help me on my blog! So keep your eyes peeled and your ears prepped and ready! I'm very excited! Clo 

Facebook     Twitter     Instagram     Pinterest     Bloglovin'   

SaveSave